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whatsk-poppinhomies · 2 years ago

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“It’s not easy! It’s not easy for me to see you with anyone else, if it’s not me. And maybe that’s selfish, but it’s true.” Pairing : Bangchan x F!Reader ft. Jeon Wonwoo (SVTN) TW : none really ; reader is a strong, independent woman and we love to see it ; general angst and one sided pining ; Word Count : 2.5k

“You really think your modeling career is going to take off?” Chan asked when you had come to him with the news that you had been picked up by a company to model their clothing. It wasn’t a big designer, they weren’t very well known, but it was a start, and you were proud of yourself, as you should be. “I thought you were going to go to college for teaching or something… When did this start?”

He only looked away from his computer to scan over the contract that you had slid across his desk, his eyes drifting over every single line as he shook his head. “I just wanted to get into something that would make me even half as famous as you are… So people won’t judge us for being together. I can’t sing or dance… But I know I can do this.” No matter what he said, your pride would remain intact. He couldn’t sway you from your decision, the only thing he could do was cheer you on, or disagree with the choice, but that wouldn’t stop you.

“I never wanted a famous girlfriend… I just wanted someone who would be there for me.” He responded, turning his attention back to his computer screen as he continued to tweak whatever song he was working on now. “If you get that job, if you get famous, you’ll be traveling all over the globe to do different shows. I wanted you here. With me. Always.”

You rolled your eyes at the blunt selfishness of his words, snatching the contract from off his desk and crossing your arms over your chest. “So me traveling all over the world to do different shows would be a bad thing, but you do it and I’m supposed to just sit back and be okay with it? Hypocritical much?”

Chans hands slid from his keyboard, dropping onto his lap as he swiveled the chair in your direction, his eyes had heavy bags underneath them from lack of sleep, but he still seemed to have enough energy to go against you on this. “I travel the world for my job. All you’d be getting is a couple gigs, it’s not the same thing. If this is what you want to do, fine… But I don’t like it, and I don’t want to be a part of you doing this.”

It took you a couple seconds to really understand what he was saying, mainly because it was so foolish for him to even say something like that, but you could tell that he wasn’t joking either. “I supported you in your career choice… But mine is a problem? Great… you know what? This is better for the both of us. You do you, I can do what I want. Thanks Christopher.” And with that you walked out the door of his recording studio. You had walked in with pride, and you walked out with even more, knowing that you were making your choices for no one but yourself. This was your life, and you had simply allowed Chan to be a part of it. Now that he wasn’t, it wouldn’t make or break you, you just had more freedom to do what you wanted.

That’s essentially where you had met your boyfriend of two years. He was an idol himself, one that was well known in the industry, and it had been like love at first sight as soon as the two of you locked eyes, and from that moment on, the two of you were inseparable. He supported you in everything you did, he’d hype you up when he got to go to your photoshoots, he’d cheer you on when he got to go to one of the modeling shows, and when he couldn’t make it, he’d text you the entire time about how amazing you were going to do. He was the support that you needed, but above all else, he held the calmness, the aura of relaxation that you so looked forward to when you came home after a busy day.

“I got a call for another gig today.” You mumbled as you walked through the front door, placing your bag down on the bench beside the closet and slipping your shoes off, letting out a quiet yawn as you walked tiredly over to the couch and dropped down onto it beside your boyfriend, letting your head fall onto his lap. “It was for JYP entertainment… They wanted me to be in one of Stray Kids new videos.”

Wonwoo hummed softly, closing up his book and placing it onto the end table to look down at you, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose as he did. “Are you okay with doing that? You know that you can say no.” He knew what had happened between you and the leader of the group, but that had been years ago and you didn’t want what happened in the past to hinder your future. “I can go with you if you’d like me to. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.”

You nodded your head, already feeling much calmer after just listening to his voice. He just had that ability, it was one of the things that you loved the most about Wonwoo, the way he made you instantaneously feel at ease. “Thanks a bunch… This is why you’re the best.” You murmured, watching his cheeks turn a light shade of pink before he pushed his glasses up and grabbed his book again. “I’ll go wash up and then you can watch me make dinner.”

His chuckle was soft, it sounded more like air being pushed through his nose, but he nodded slowly as his interest was quickly caught by the words on the pages. “Take your time… Wear something warm when you get out.” Those few words would usually make someone think that he was uninterested, and before, you had had the same thoughts, but you came to realize that those words were just his way of saying that he loved you, that he cared about you without actually saying them out loud. It was easier that way for him, and it was just one of the other things that you loved about him. He didn’t say he loved you too much, and the fact that he didn’t made hearing those three words all the more special. He was special to you.

Chan watched as you walked onto the set, your coat pulled close around your frame as your eyes scanned the area, a small smile pulling at the corners of your lips whenever someone greeted you or walked by. He had followed your journey to stardom, and he had been proud of you, immensely proud, and oftentimes when he was with one of the guys and he came across a post of you on his phone, he’d shove his screen in their face and excitedly announce that he used to date you. Of course, the excitement would no sooner wear off as quickly as it came when he had that realization for the millionth time that he had blown things.

It had been a miracle that JYP had managed to book you for the shoot, and they had to get your parts filmed and perfected immediately because your manager said that your schedule was pretty booked for the next week. He only had a short amount of time with you, and it had been so long since he had even seen you face to face that it had his stomach doing somersaults as he thought of what to say.

“Is it okay if my boyfriend sits in for the filming?” You asked one of the producers, your voice flowing through the air and reaching Chans ears as if he were the target of your words instead of the man that you were actually talking to. His head whipped up as he watched you smile and bow, rushing over to the studio doors to push them open, and he about gasped when he saw who walked in. “Thank you for coming.” He heard you say, and his stomach, like an untrained trapeze artist, dropped like a brick when he watched you kiss the cheek of Jeon Wonwoo.

It wasn’t shocking, Chan had seen the music video that you were in with them, and he had seen the scene, replayed it over a thousand times where you had to act with Wonwoo, and he could tell that it wasn’t acting… He had seen that look on your face many times when you were with him. He just didn’t think that the two of you would actually be together. “Of course. I’m here for you if you need me.” Was it nosy for Chan to listen in on the conversation? You were having it in a public place filled with people, it’s not like you were trying to keep anything a secret.

You were coming closer to him now, and he could feel his heart racing like it was about to burst from his chest. Were you coming over to say hi to him? It felt like his tongue had gone numb, how embarrassing. You looked great too, and he felt like a fool for giving it all up. “Ahh! Hi, Y/N!” Chan called out once you were close enough, and you paused for a second to wave at him… And then you kept walking. It was humiliating, and when he glanced over at Wonwoo, he could see the older man smirking, his shoulders bouncing slightly with his silent laughter.

How was he supposed to film with you when you made him feel like this? When he felt the eyes of Wonwoo on him whenever he got close to you. You shouldn’t bring your boyfriend onto the set, it probably made the other guys uncomfortable too.

“It’s pretty cool that Y/N brought Wonwoo with her. He’s a chill guy.” Jisung said during a break between shoots, only proving that Chan was wrong in his assumption. He was the only one uncomfortable with it, and that only further proved that the feeling of discomfort was from the jealousy that he felt. “Have you talked to him? I mean… I know that… Well… You know. But, that’s all in the past, right? She agreed to do the shoot still, that means everything is alright.”

Oh, Jisung was poorly mistaken. Everything might be okay for you, but for Chan… It was watching the one girl that he wanted, the one girl that he once had, be with another man. It only made it worse to watch because he knew it was all his fault that he had to see you in the arms of someone else, and he had to be okay with it… Which was easier said than done. “Yeah… everything is alright. I’m gonna go talk to her now.” Chan said, trying to keep his composure as he walked away from his member, he had to focus highly on his steps to make sure he didn’t trip over his own feet as he walked over to where you stood. Wonwoos arm was wrapped around your waist as you stood beside the chair he was sitting in, his thumb grazing over your side and his fingers intermittently tugging at the fabric of your shirt which had you giggling. It should have been him… It could have been him. “Hey, Y/N. Can I talk to you… About the shoot?” Chan spoke up after clearing his throat to get your attention, and his attention was on Wonwoo, watching as the man's eyes narrowed just slightly behind his glasses.

“Sure… What about it?” You asked, not moving from Wonwoos side, but this was something that Chan needed to say to you in private, so he motioned with his head for you to follow him, and you reluctantly patted Wonwoos hand to let you go before the sound of your heels against the hard floor let Chan know that you were right behind him. “So… What about the shoot? Is there something wrong?”

Chan took a deep breath before nodding his head, glancing around you to look at Wonwoo who was staring straight at him. “Yeah… You have your boyfriend here.” He said flatly, and your eyebrows furrowed as you looked between Chan and Wonwoo. “It’s hard enough for me to see you again in person… But now I have to see you with him?! It’s not easy! It’s not easy to see you with someone else, if it’s not me. And maybe that’s selfish, but it’s true.”

You scoffed, shaking your head as rolled your eyes, all the signs of your annoyance being played out in a quick second. “I knew this was a bad idea.” You grumbled, your head falling back as you groaned loudly. “You’ve always been selfish, Christopher. That’s the reason I’m not with you anymore. It’s always been about you… What you wanted, how you wanted me to be, what you wanted me to do. That’s who you are… And that’s who he’s not… That’s why I’m with him.” You turned to smile back at Wonwoo who looked like he was slowly but surely making his way off the chair as his eyes now glared daggers at Chan. “He’s here for me… Not for anything else. So deal with it, or we can both leave the set. Make your decision quickly, break ends soon.”

Both of you had spoken your minds, and while he didn’t really expect the conversation to go well, he hadn’t expected that. It wasn’t easy… If anything, it was almost impossible to shoot any scene with you when Wonwoo was watching, when he knew that after the shot was finished you’d run right back over to Wonwoo and his arm would wrap around you and he’d smile at you like you were the only person in the room. It was jealousy, it was the fact that seeing you with someone else made him feel absolutely stupid… You had moved on, and you had done it quite easily too. You were living in the present and looking towards the future, and Chan was stuck in the past, reliving the moment where he had fucked it all up, and imagining the future that he could have had with you if he hadn’t been so selfish.

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lookastarlightnight-blog · 7 years ago

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花吐き病 (Part 1)

[Admin Lyric: Please don’t read this if you are sensitive to verbally “abusive” words and death. If you do read it then I hope you enjoy it!! Cue the water works...]

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3}

Characters: Soonyoung (Hoshi), Mingyu, Rest of Seventeen

Genre: Hanahaki Disease Au, Angst

Word Count: 3,500+

Warnings: Language, Mentions of alcohol use, Mentions of depression, Mentions of contemplating suicide, Major character death

Love is something no one understands. It makes you happy, sad, mad, confused, and exedra. Sometimes, it’s like getting whiplash from getting into a car accident, comes too fast and is exceedingly painful. People who are in love with each other are always happy and normally have a nice healthy relationship together, have kids, get married in the future. That was not the case for Soonyoung.

He has always been and always will be a relatively energetic person. He’s very outgoing and people tend to get along with him easily. But what they don’t know about is his long lasting depression. His depression was caused by only one thing. You.

He hasn’t told anyone about it, hasn’t talked to someone for advice, hasn’t tried to reach out for a doctor. He thinks that if he tries hard enough, his feelings for you won’t last. As for the occasional dizzy sickening feeling he gets when waking up, the rough feeling in his throat, and puking up red rose petals, will go away once his feelings go away. But in reality he knows that it’s only gonna get worse.

You’d been in a relationship with one of Soonyoung’s band mates, Kim Mingyu. You’ve been together for a half of a year (6 months) so far and you looked happy to be by his side. What you didn’t realize was that it only made things worse for Soonyoung. When you’d have really good days with Mingyu, like cuddling, kissing, hugging, that would only make Soonyoung’s day shit. When he’d see you happy he was happy, but that only means that he’d have to suffer throwing up more petals throughout the day.

He was close with Mingyu like how he was with Jihoon, which was not good at all on his part. That’s his best friend and he would never want to interfere with yours and his relationship so he never told anyone about his disease. He was always nervous being in the small cramped dorm because he could get found out and have to tell everyone that he was in love with you and Mingyu would hate him forever. That would be the last thing he’d want to happen between him and Mingyu.

Soonyoung really had one question, can someone fall out of love? Will he die if he keeps coughing up flowers? If he tells you and Mingyu about his feelings will they be able to stay friends? Will you be disgusted by him for telling you his feelings while you were in a relationship with his best friend? Well he actually had four questions…

Soonyoung had woken up to the nauseating feeling eating away at his stomach. He’s used to it by now, but as soon as he sits up, he falls back down on his bed. He’s been dizzy almost every morning but it has never been this bad. He couldn’t even stand let alone sit up right. He had to get up. He could feel the rough poking feeling in his throat and knew he had to get the flower petals out of his lungs.

The petals in his lungs were almost suffocating him as he laid on his back facing the ceiling. He stood up off of his bed and fell on the floor, coughing and gagging, gasping for air. Blood. All he saw was blood on his hands and lots of rose petals but he didn’t have time to analyze the things around him. He grabbed at his throat from choking so much, his nails digging in his neck as he desperately gasped for more air. He put his hand into his mouth and pulled out of his throat a long steamed rose with lots of thorns and huge petals.

His breathing still wasn’t stable, which led it to get more unstable due to the mini panic attack he was having. Soonyoung was used to flower petals coming out of his mouth, but it was never a whole entire rose. He had to clam himself down before someone heard him. He started coughing again and more rose petals flew from his mouth.

He heard sniffing noises coming from his right. He was scared. He didn’t want to face having to tell anyone, not yet, it was too soon.

“How long?” Soonyoung sighed lightly. It was at least Jeonghan. How much did he see? He felt embarrassed.

“What do you mean hyung?” Soonyoung didn’t need to look at Jeonghan in the eye to know he was getting aggravated.

Jeonghan’s patience was slim to none, thinner then ice. He knew he needed to be there for Soonyoung, but he just couldn’t believe that he didn’t tell anyone about the situation he’s in.

“Soonyoung-ah, please be honest with me. I just want to know why you kept this from us.”

“I’m sorry…”

“How long has it been since you noticed?” Soonyoung could tell Jeonghan was getting angrier. He had to say something but he was scared.

“…about 2 months ago…” He gulped. He stared at his bloody hands and shook his head repeatedly.

“It only started out as flower seeds and leaves, I didn’t think much of it at first until I went to the doctors appointment I had a month ago. It only g-got worse because…” He started to trail off, getting to a place in his small speech where he was uncomfortable with and he’d rather much avoid the topic of bringing you up. Jeonghan sighed.

“Well if it started to get worse then why-“ Soonyoung cut him off.

“Hyung, you wouldn’t understand!” His voice cracked. It had gotten horse from all of the coughing. He didn’t mean to yell at Jeonghan for his own selfishness. He was just frustrated by the situation at hand and wanted to let whatever was going to happen to him happen.

“This is about Y/N isn’t it? You love her don’t you?” Soonyoung’s head snapped up. He looked at Jeonghan, nervousness evident in his eyes. He gulped again.

“H-How did you know that I…” His voice was quiet, yet Jeonghan could tell he was going to break down soon. He wasn’t trying to force Soonyoung to tell him exactly what was wrong with him, he already knew, he just had to be sure. He observes every one in the dorm to make sure they’re okay even if they don’t want to talk about their problems, he still asks them about it because he knows that deep down inside they need to talk to someone. As for right now Soonyoung wasn’t okay. He wanted to at least help him with whatever he could even if it meant it was near to impossible.

“Soonyoung if it’s this bad, maybe you should consider getting the surgery.”

“No.” He shook his head vigorously. The surgery for Hanahaki disease is extremely risky. If you get it, there is a very high chance that you may not be able to love anyone ever again. There’s also a high chance that you can even lose other emotions when the surgery is done. Soonyoung did want to rid himself of his feelings for you so he didn’t have to lie anymore, but he doesn’t want to become someone who is emotionless. He doesn’t want to become a robot or a waste of space on earth.

“I’m not going to do anything t-that involves getting myself even more screwed up okay!!” Soonyoung was thankful that the rest of the members weren’t there because if they were, Mingyu would have heard everything and he would have to lock himself in his room. He squeezed his eyes shut. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Jeonghan sat next to Soonyoung on the floor and hugged him, tears began to slip past his eyes again.

“Please do something to help yourself and if there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” Jeonghan looked at him. Soonyoung’s skin was flushed, he had eye bags due to lack of sleep, and he looked like he lost some weight. He frowned a bit. They stayed hugging for a while until they both stopped crying.

“Do me this favor, please keep this a secret from everyone. I just need time, I promise that I’ll tell them. Just not right now.”

-1 Hour Later-

“We’re back~~” Mingyu stopped in his tracks and glanced around the living area. No one was there. He shrugged and put the grocery bags on their kitchen table.

“Where’s Jeonghan and Soonyoung?” Mingyu turned towards you and shrugged and started to unpack the items they bought along with Chan. “I’m pretty sure they’re fine.” You nodded. Everyone else seemed unfazed by the situation while you were a bit worried. Even with one or two people here, they would still be loud and obnoxious, so you decided to check on them yourself.

You had opened the door to one of the bedrooms and found them asleep. You cooed at how cute they were and closed the door softly, but you were indeed wrong because Soonyoung was still awake, unable to sleep because he heard your voice. He could see the smile that was on your face when you’d laugh at something Mingyu did or said. He loved it, he loved everything about the thoughts he has every time you’re with them at their dorm. Yet it only made his throat tingle and the hard scratchy rough sensation was back. He frowned. He also hated the thoughts that he had because he knew that he wasn’t the one that made you smile and laugh. You don’t return the love he has for you because he wasn’t the person beside you. That was Mingyu. Next thing he knew, he had three roses coming out of his throat. It was hard to breathe again.

It’s been 3 days since Jeonghan found out about Soonyoung’s disease. He hasn’t told anyone about it and for that, Soonyoung is very thankful. It’s been three days since you’ve came back to Seventeen’s dorm and three days of hell on Soonyoung’s part. He tried to make as many excuses as he could to not conversant with you and so far they did work. He was trying not to sound like it was lies he was telling you, eating away at your brain making you believe he was telling the truth, that he didn’t feel well and that he was tired and wanted sleep, but that’s exactly what happened.

You had tried to converse into any conversation Soonyoung was in just to see if he was feeling better, but he just kept avoiding you. It hurt. You wanted to know why he was avoiding you but you didn’t want to force him to do anything that was uncomfortable for him, so you just let it slide.

“Soonyoung! Did you want anything from the Japanese place?” Soonyoung looked at you and smiled.

“Hehehe! Y/N, I’m going there right now.” You could tell your face heated up from embarrassment.

“Ohh, wow I’m stupid.” You put your hands on either side of your cheek. Soonyoung laughed. His eye smile always made you feel a little better.

“Ayyyyyeee. You’re not stupid. Don’t beat yourself up about it, you didn’t even know it was going.” He rolled his eyes at you and you playfully hit him on his arm. He laughed again.

Something about Soonyoung always made you feel like you were at home. Mingyu made you feel like you were at home, but with Soonyoung it was different. He always tried to seem chic and haughty or tough and rugged, but he was the complete opposite, a giant baby that walked on two legs and a big giant plushie of a hamster. He was just Soonyoung. At first when you started to have all these thoughts about him you started to panic, thinking Mingyu would hate you if he found out you had a crush on him and yeah, you did have some type of feelings for him, but you weren’t sure what they were. Crush? Like? Love?

As many times as you tried to brush it off, it came back to you. Soonyoung is such a sweetheart and so nice to you that maybe you think that you have a crush on him even though you really don’t. You haven’t told anyone about how you’ve been feeling about Soonyoung since it was hard for you determine for yourself. A crush is a crush, but what does it mean when the feelings continue through months of uncertainty?

“Well I guess you’re right Hosh…” You crossed your arms over your chest. Soonyoung coughed.

“Are you getting sick? You don’t look too good.” Concern was written all over your face.

“Yeah. I haven’t been feeling so great lately. I’ll be fine don’t worry about me.” Soonyoung coughed again, and again, and again. He smiled. You gave him a weak smile.

“You ready Y/N?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, let’s go”

As you walked outside and down the street, you looked at Soonyoung, then looked down at his hand. You mentally slapped yourself in the face. Why were you thinking about holding his hand? Why is it much of a problem? Why do you think it’s not a problem when it is? KIM MINGYU IS YOUR-

“Where the hell are you going?” You looked to your left. Soonyoung wasn’t next to you anymore, he was behind you. You turned around and was met with a beautiful pair of chocolate brown eyes. You gulped then backed up quickly.

“I’m s-sorry! I uhh.” Soonyoung chuckled then started walking into the restaurant. Your face felt hot. You were blushing. Why were you blushing? KIM MINGYU IS YOUR-

“Y/N!! Are you coming in or??”

“Yeah! Sorry Soonyoung…” Soonyoung rolled his eyes.

“Why do you keep apologizing to me? Your fine, you didn’t do anything.” He laughed which caused your face to fell hotter. God you had get away from him as soon as possible.

“Sorry… I MEAN-…” You sighed. He laughed at you again. You punched his arm and he winced slightly. Then it was you turn to laugh at him. He pouted.

“That hurt!” He pretended to cry. You rolled your eyes.

“No it didn’t.”

“Yes it did!”

“No it didn’t.”

“Yes it did!”

“No it didn’t.”

“How can you tell if it didn’t hurt if you’re not me?” He crossed his arms still pouting. You giggled at his cuteness.

“Did it really hurt Soonyoung?” He looked at you and sighed.

“No…”

“Exactly, now can we get the food?” He pouted again, then nodded.

You and Soonyoung walked back to Seventeen’s dorm in silence. Mainly because if Soonyoung talked, he’d end up coughing up roses, and you trying to sort out your feelings, which was overwhelming. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence though, it was… warm… almost too warm. Wait. You looked down and your eyes widened. Had you intended to hold his hand? Was he the one to hold yours? You stared at your hands intertwined in each others. It looked so… perfect. You shook your head. No. You have a boyfriend. You’ve told yourself this so many times to the point where it was a mantra in your head. You looked up to see Soonyoung staring at you. You blushed and looked away.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep our hands like this. I wanted to make sure you didn’t cross the street without being protected a little.” He was about to let go of your hand but you stopped him. You didn’t know why but you did.

“Nah, I-it’s fine. You act like friends don’t hold hands.” You smiled at him and he smiled back, eyes turning into crescents. You left your hand in his for the rest of the walk back to the dorm.

You had knocked on the door so many times and no one has come to answer it. You were frustrated. You called Mingyu and he didn’t even answer, Soonyoung called everyone and they didn’t answer. You were pissed. Soonyoung was panicking. You had held his hand all the way back to the dorm and no one was answering the door. He had to get these flowers out of his lungs or he’d end up doing it in front of you and he didn’t want that.

“Isn’t there a spare key?” Soonyoung looked at you and smiled. Then he walked over to a bush and grabbed a key. You were so excited you started jumping up and down. When the both of you had gotten inside, you saw that everyone was sleep in their rooms. Why are they sleeping, it hasn’t even been that long since we left, you thought. You walked into Soonyoung and Jihoon’s shared room and grabbed the bullhorn that Jihoon had (and used to yell at his members) and turned the siren on. Jihoon sat up so quick he almost broke his neck. He glared at you then laid back down and put a pillow over his face.

“TURN THAT SHIT OFF!” You laughed. You then noticed others had woken up and decided to have a little fun of your own. You turned the siren off and spoke through it instead.

“EVERYONE, WE GOT FOOD SO GET YOUR ASS UP AND EAT!” You felt arms wrap around your waist and you turned you head a little. It was a cute shirtless half asleep baby, your baby. You then turned around and cupped his face with your small hands.

“Babe, we got food. Wake up so you don’t choke on it.” You smiled when you saw his eyes open.

“Okay… I’m tired though.”

“Choke on your food then. Wait I wanna see that.” You saw Jihoon standing near the doorway looking happy at the thought of Mingyu choking. You sighed.

“Jihoon, Don’t do it to yourself~~” He just rolled his eyes at you and walked into the kitchen. Mingyu kissed your forehead and you blushed and gave him a quick peck on his lips. He pouted and kissed your forehead again, then your nose, then finally your lips. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it wasn’t short either. He pulled away and smiled at you. You blushed again. You wonder how he still made you feel like this even when you’ve been dating for a half a year and have know him for 2.

You forgot that you came back from getting the food with Soonyoung so you looked to see if he was anywhere in sight. You thought you heard coughing coming from the bathroom and walked over towards the door. Putting your ear up to it carefully, you could definitely tell that it was coughing you heard. It was Soonyoung for sure. You knocked on it softly. Soonyoung cracked the door open and looked at you through his swollen eyes.

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay? Did you throw up?” He simply looked at you and frowned. He nodded.

“Yeah, but I’ll be okay. I’m just gonna lay down for a bit.” He had eventually opened the bathroom door all the way and walked out.

“Are you gonna eat anything?”

“Nah, I don’t feel well enough to eat. Could you put it in the fridge for me?” You gave him a weak smile and nodded. He eventually walked away and shut his bedroom door. Your feet were glued to the floor unable to move. You couldn’t just sit here and let him be sick. You were worried and wanted to take care of him. It really wasn’t a good idea to not eat when your sick, you could make him some Ramen if he couldn’t eat anything really heavy. You sighed, walked over to the bedroom door and knocked.

“Hey, Soon? I’m coming in okay?”

“WAIT!!…I mean uhh…h-hold on for a sec.” You knit your eyebrows together. He didn’t throw up on himself did he? Was he really okay as much as he’s told you. You didn’t want to wait anymore, not caring if he was naked or not, you walked in.

You stood there, your mouth agape. Soonyoung was sitting on the floor, blood, flower petals and whole roses on the ground. He was trying to push them under his bed. He looked up at you with wide eyes. Is this what he meant by sick?

“Y/N, I c-can explain! Just come in slow-“

“No Soonyoung, I’m not gonna let you sit here and ruin your health. YOU HAVE A DISEASE!” Soonyoung started crying.

“Y/N please I-“

The rest of the members piled around you after hearing you yell, their faces just as shocked as yours. Seungcheol took a deep breath and spoke. His voice came out very monotone.

“Soonyoung. When- no, why didn’t you tell us?” You could tell he was sad and confused but trying to keep his composure.

“You wouldn’t understand the situation I’m in…” Soonyoung’s voice was low. He felt like he was going to break down and start coughing up roses again. You were looking at him, you had known he was in love with someone. He started crying harder.

“Soonyoung that’s not the point, we’re just worried. We don’t want anything to happen to you. Just let us help.” Seungkwan said matter of factly. You frowned. Soonyoung stood up and started waving at us to get out.

“I’m sorry, I just c-cant talk about this r-right now.” He hiccupped then shut the door. You stood there, staring at the faded brown wood of the door. He is not going to be okay.

As much as he tells you, you’re not going to listen to him.

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