#sv;; Ale Zawiodlem

[ofstarsandskies]

@dafdae​ you asked for angst, hoo baby this AU breathes it

How long had Ludger been in this “temporary” cell by now? After the daily interrogations ceased the first few days, any sense of time passed stopped as well. His cell lacked windows, and the meals he rarely finished didn’t have a set delivery schedule (or maybe they did, but Ludger couldn’t prove either case). Granted he didn’t care that much; he wasn’t going to continue living in this world much longer. Why bother counting days when the next may be the last? 

Caught up in his thoughts, Ludger thought he heard the faint sound of footsteps echoing from the PA. Was it worth his time to check? Probably not, but Ludger found the flimsy will to roll off the floor and check the glass wall. It-- I-It was...--

“Nii-san!!” Ludger immediately tried to run towards the wall, stopped just short by the chains attached to his legs. Figures they’d make them just short enough to keep him from reaching any of the walls; he’d mostly stayed lying in the middle of the room so the chain’s length never really crossed his mind before. When he backed away just enough to be able to stand properly, there were so many thoughts running through his head. So many things he never got to say before his brother... “Nii-san, I...”

“...You’re not really here, are you?”

Because he couldn’t be. If Kresniks could survive becoming a Soul Bridge, Nii-san wouldn’t have thought to keep this a secret from his if his resolve wasn’t there. This was an elaborate joke his mind was playing on him to break him even further. The person known as Julius Will Kresnik was long dead, and Ludger was supposed to see him again after his execution.

This had to be a joke. He--it--couldn’t be real. Ludger refused to let his heart be trampled over by his own twisted delusions again.

[ofstarsandskies]

“You’d be the first to say that. Not that I blame those who do curse me-- I deserve all of it.” Killing Gaius created compilations beyond just on an personal level. Now Rieze Maxia and Elympios had to contend with losing RM’s ruler to Elympios’ top company’s VP. One of the first questions in his interrogation was if his crime was politically charged; he clarified he would’ve killed Gaius all the same, king or not. Same with the others if they hadn’t pinned him down.

His moping aside, Ivar had an actual purpose to come to him. Rideaux was gone, he was fired, what was (from Ivar’s perspective) a mysterious object now loomed in the sky, and his old group wasn’t telling him anything. Par for the course, Ludger thought. These are the same people who thought to keep killing my brother a secret from me. Although Ludger sure met their cruelty with his own equally horrible action. He cost Ivar his job, so answers were his only form of retribution he could give. 

“What you saw in the sky is the Land of Canaan. To reach it, you need to create a Soul Bridge by sacrificing a powerful member of the Kresnik clan. The only ones strong enough are me, my brother, Rideaux, and Bisley. I know Bisley didn’t use my brother, so he... must have used Rideaux. Elle went with him. The rest...”

Ludger couldn’t objectively speak of the minutes leading up to his brother’s future murder. Whenever he thought back on it, he wanted to scream and cry. If only he’d thought to use himself as the Bridge. Nii-san wouldn’t be.... 

“Tell Jude and the others you talked to me about Canaan and the Soul Bridge. They won’t have grounds to deny your questions now.” 

@ofstarsandskies, continued from here.

In the span of a single day, everything had changed. As expected, for failing to keep Vice President Kresnik contained within Spirius Corporation, he received a phone call notifying him of the termination of his employment. Call after call Ivar sent to Mr. Rideaux, but no answer came... and that was the first indication that something wasn’t right. Mr. Rideaux would’ve surely answered, even if just to mock his failure.

Then a giant, fetus-like abomination appeared in the sky, rendering day and night indistinguishable. And only a short time after, hysterical wailing erupted in the streets and from neighboring apartments— Rieze Maxians mourning the death of King Gaius. Ivar hadn’t even thought murdering King Gaius was possible! And days later the name of the culprit emerged: Ludger Kresnik. Reading the name was like a punch to the gut. It took Ivar several hours to read through the article, barely able to stomach its contents. How could have everything changed so quickly...?

Badgering Lady Milla’s friends for answers got him nowhere. They said it wasn’t any of his concern— but it was! Mr. Rideaux was missing, King Gaius was dead, and Vice President Kresnik was locked up in prison! Stranger still, Ivar noticed that the little girl always with them (Elle, if he remembered correctly) was never present. Giving her time to cope (assuming she witnessed the murder) made sense, but it was suspicious that she hadn’t been with Lady Milla’s friends on any occasion when he hunted them down.

Fine, then. If they won’t give him answers, Ivar will just go to someone who will, whether said person is a murderer or not. Truthfully, he wouldn’t have visited otherwise. After being called a pest so many times, Ivar had begun to believe it, and the last thing he wanted was to put more strain on whatever struggle Ludger was facing. But finding out the truth was more important than his own apprehension.

Looking through the glass to see Ludger staring at a blank wall was nothing short of depressing. The other didn’t even notice him—not until the guard announced his presence. Ivar grasped around the base of the microphone to conceal his shaking hands. Yet it wasn’t Ludger he feared; it was the prospect of hearing an unbearable truth that made him tremble.

It took a few seconds for him to think about his response. “I would say the same to you, but...” Criminal or not, these conditions were awful. Confined in a small room with no one to talk to, with no form of entertainment... the thought made his brain hurt. Could someone even survive like that?

He sucked in a deep breath. It was now or never. “...I didn’t want to bother you, but I can’t take it anymore! No one— Lady Milla’s friends or Spirius Corporation— will tell me what’s going on! I’ve been fired, I can’t get into contact with Mr. Rideaux, I haven’t seen Elle in days, and there’s a giant fetus in the sky! Please, tell me what’s going on!”

[ofstarsandskies]

When the silence started to suffocate Ludger, he’d see delusions of people he knew. They only lasted a couple seconds, but depending on the person, it was enough to either have him smile briefly or recoil back in fear. His “favorites” had been seeing the landlady sigh as he got himself in trouble again and Miss Kitty Kat thanking him for finding her feline friends. Though there was also the one of his brother saying this wasn’t his fault that he actively tried to attack to make it go away faster. Whoever was on-duty watching him yelled at him for acting strangely that time.

The hint of green just out of the corner of his eye had Ludger looking up to check what person it’d be this time, only to find something... different.

Milla? No, it couldn’t be. He’d gotten a few tags on the Lord of Spirits for sure, but he was certain the only person he’d landed a fatal injury on was Gaius-- strength doesn’t come into play when you have a lance piercing your chest. So unless Milla thought to radically change her appearance for no conceivable reason, this couldn’t be the Milla from the Prime Dimension. But there was also no denying this spirit looked way too much like Milla to be a wild coincidence.

Hold on... didn’t Jude mention once that humans who die then reincarnate as spirits? Would the same apply to humans who died in the Void? Nothing said to the contrary, so...

“Milla...?” Ludger reached out to the spirit to try and verify if she was a mirage conjured up by his mind, though he stayed his hands before they touched. If this was the Milla he was thinking of, she probably came here to mock him for letting her die while failing to protect Elle. He didn’t deserve to touch her (or look at her frankly, but too late for that).

My muse is being held in solitary confinement and hasn’t seen anyone for weeks. Send ⚠ to find them. || @unborderedreflection

[ofstarsandskies]

When anyone walked into Ludger’s holding cell would see a man quietly lying on the floor, back facing to the glass. 

Ludger's only source of stimulus was his own thoughts, so lying down in hopes he might escape to his daydreams was most of the man’s day. Although even those betrayed him in the past-- more than once, he’d imagined his brother at his side. And as much as Ludger wanted to convince himself his brother was alive, he knew better. The only Kresniks eligible to become a Soul Bridge were himself and his brother; if he was alive, then...

Maybe things wouldn’t have turned out this way if he’d chosen to put a gun to his head and shot himself. Even if his brother didn’t live to see the end of Origin’s Trial, they could still meet in death. Granted the possibility for death as a dangerous criminal was guaranteed, but they were sure taking their damn sweet time to execute him. If he hadn’t concluded Rieze Maxia would want to see their king’s killer dead, Ludger might have assumed his execution’s delay could be indefinite as an ultimate punishment.

“Death is the easy way out” as some would say.

“Wake up!” A harsher voice than usual almost shouted from the PA system. As per the command, Ludger lifted himself off the floor and looked up at one of the speakers. “You have a visitor.”

They’d been curious to see what kind of monster would kill an allied nation’s (or their own in the case of Reize Maxians) top leader. They all looked underwhelmed to see a boring 20-year-old lacking any will to speak of. Would this one be any different was the burning question.

“Was I what you expected?”

My muse is being held in solitary confinement and hasn’t seen anyone for weeks. Send ⚠ to find them. || @amritareborn​

[ofstarsandskies]

⚠

My muse is being held in solitary confinement and hasn’t seen anyone for weeks. Send ⚠ to find them. || @shimmerfang-impact

Life inside these walls was quiet. Although Ludger could see the faces of guards walk by his cell, none dared speak to him. His meals were delivered through a small door to his right, blander than anything he’d tasted before. Even the sub-par tap water had more taste than his food. Suffice to say, the prison was doing the bare minimum to keep him alive– human interaction wasn’t included on that list. 

But with that said, Ludger couldn’t blame the guards for keeping their distance around him. He’d killed Gaius in cold blood– Jude and the others wouldn’t have been spared either if they hadn’t eventually overpowered him. Who wouldn’t be afraid of a king-slayer, especially one of Gaius’ caliber? 

Gaius built a reputation on his strength as not only a king, but on a personal level. And then here comes this just-recently-drafted Agent with the gall to go 8 on 1 and killed Rieze Maxia’s beloved king while also causing varying levels on injury on the other seven before being taken down. These 8 were supposedly his friends up till now, further adding questions as to what could cause such a radical shift in behavior.  

Ludger tried his best to explain, though nobody believed him thus far. Talks of Origin’s Trial and Soul Bridges sounded like pure fantasy to those outside Spirius, but it was still the truth. Though Ludger did lie about one thing: his motive being to protect Julius. It sounded too much like an excuse, and it mean remembering how he’d never see his brother again. Julius was–…

“Ludger Kresnik, you’ve got a visitor.” Did he really…? Ludger snapped out of his recollections to glance over at the face behind the glass, hoping he wouldn’t be met with a Spirius Agent trying to barter for his release. He’d heard whispers over the intercom once or twice about Spirius trying to get their VP’s conviction overturned. Luckily he was spared from that… sort of. Because the person he saw was–

 Ivar…?

The last time he’d seen the Junior Agent was at the now-deceased Rideaux’s side to try and keep him from escaping the Spirius building. Was he happy to finally be free of his downright cruel boss? Or perhaps he was sad– cruel as he may have been, it was still someone Ivar intimately knew. It’d still be a loss. And Ludger now knew what it felt like to experience loss… 

“Hello, Ivar.” Ludger’s voice came over a speaker above Ivar’s head; the glass and walls surrounding the dangerous prisoner were effectively soundproof thanks to extensive reinforcement, and nobody justifiably wanted to approach Ludger to convey messages directly (and the brave souls who did would likely take this chance to enact vengeance upon him). Microphones and speaker systems on both ends was the safest solution for all parties involved. 

“I hope you’ve been… doing well.” 

[ofstarsandskies]

@grimmerfang-impact​ from this ask

Ivar’s concern for his diet was surprising. His friends (rightfully) hadn’t bothered to even check on him, so having a person Ludger sort of knew care deeply about him... It made him curious what Ivar saw in him. 

“Even if you could get assigned to serve meals for the ‘special’ inmates, they still wouldn’t let you serve me. The fact you’ve visited me more than once is evidence against your impartiality.” As who’s to say Ivar wouldn’t slip in items to help aid Ludger’s escape because he already showed sympathy for him? A criminal of Ludger’s reputation couldn’t be afforded even the slightest chance to roam free without proper sentencing. 

“But if you need a job, try Trigleph Station. The cafeteria chef there currently got the job because they needed a last-minute replacement for me. A decent substitute chef would likely get hired on the spot.”

[ofstarsandskies]

Oh how much Ludger wished the government would stop dancing and just execute him already. They had his confession, the splashes of blood on his clothes included the Rieze Maxian’s king, his former friends likely testified that they saw him do it... what else did they need to decide when to kill him? And if he tried killing himself on his own account, no doubt they’d try and stop him (although finding a way to do that  with heavy cuffs and leg chains would be its own impossible task).

Caught up in his thoughts, Ludger thought he heard the faint sound of footsteps from the PA. Was it worth his time to check? Probably not, but Ludger found the flimsy will to roll off the floor and check the glass wall. It-- I-It was...--

“Nii-san!!” Ludger immediately tried to run towards the wall, stopped just short by the chains attached to his legs. Figures they’d make them just short enough to keep him from reaching any of the walls; he’d mostly stayed lying in the middle of the room so the chain’s length never really crossed his mind before. When he backed away just enough to be able to stand properly, Nii-san greeted his eyes again. “Nii-san, I...”

“...You’re not real, are you?”

Because he couldn’t be. If Kresniks could survive becoming a Soul Bridge, Nii-san wouldn’t have thought to keep this a secret from his if his resolve wasn’t there. This was an elaborate joke his mind was playing on him to break him even further. The person known as Julius Will Kresnik was long dead, and Ludger was supposed to see him again after his execution.

This had to be a joke. He--it--couldn’t be real. Ludger refused to let his heart be trampled over by his own stupid decisions again.

My muse is being held in solitary confinement and hasn’t seen anyone for weeks. Send ⚠ to find them. || @oncehymned

[ofstarsandskies]

Ludger was having useless thoughts again. Thoughts of “I wonder what everyone thinks of me now?” or “Do they forgive me?”, all of which he knew the answers to. “Will they come see me?” and “What would they say to me if they did?” were the only two up in the air. His (former) friends could’ve easily used the moment they pinned him down to kill him, yet here he was, alive and patched up given the lack of cuts and bruises.

If he knew his brother though, he would’ve bargained for his life in exchange for sticking with the original plan: using Nii-san as the Soul Bridge by letting Nii-san kill himself. A final wish wasted in the end; Ludger’s death was only delayed, not saved. The world’s fate stopped being a concern ever since.  

Ludger heard a door click over the PA system. Someone... came to visit him. A look back, and-- guess one of his friends did come to see him after all.

Leia was... looking better than he last remembered her. The struggle to protect Julius came to Ludger in hazy pieces except one adulterated moment: Ludger stabbing Gaius clean through with his lance. How much he hurt the others though, he couldn’t remember. Either that or he subconsciously chose to blot out the memory. But he was sure he hurt them all-- in more ways than one.

What was he supposed to say now? Ludger couldn’t apologize as if he hadn’t meant to go that far-- back then, he fully intended to kill everyone if it meant Julius’ life was spared. And yet, despite succeeding in killing Gaius, he hadn’t even accomplished his goal: all the pain and death Ludger caused ultimately amounted to nothing. He was, in every sense of the word, a failure.

“Is the Trial over?” Ludger opted to ask the question he would never see the answer to. Trying to absolve himself of blame he rightfully deserved would effectively be spitting in his former friend’s face. Something she didn’t deserve after gracing him with her presence. “Did you... save everyone?”

My muse is being held in solitary confinement and hasn’t seen anyone for weeks. Send ⚠ to find them. || @soulstokedrolando​