#sustainable music career

[dcider]

"Gratitude to MTN Bushfire & Africa Rising Music Reference: A Journey of Inspiration and Growth"

MTN Bushfire and Africa Rising Music Conference

I extend my deepest gratitude for the incredible experience and invaluable insights gained during the recent event. This platform provided an exceptional opportunity to connect, learn, and grow within the vibrant musical landscape.

To the esteemed speakers whose wisdom illuminated our paths:

Juan Aguilar: Your expertise as a composers manager in Paradise Worldwide (Columbia) was enlightening. Your guidance on navigating the intricacies of the music industry is invaluable.

Sarah-Jane Nicholison: As the visionary Founder of Africa Rising Music Conference, your dedication to empowering musicians across the continent is commendable. Your leadership inspires us to reach greater heights in our musical endeavors.

Sizo Hlophe: As Co-Founder of Antidote Music Eswatini, your insights into the industry's dynamics were invaluable. Your contributions have been instrumental in shaping the music scene in Eswatini.

Naimah: Your multifaceted talents as a Singer, Songwriter, DJ, and Mental Health Advocate from Zambia are truly inspiring. Your advocacy for mental health awareness within the music industry is commendable.

Your collective wisdom, shared experiences, and dedication have left an indelible mark on us, igniting our passion and steering us towards excellence.

As the Founder and President of Riska_D_Rollaz Records, this event has been a pivotal moment in our journey. The knowledge gained from these distinguished speakers will undoubtedly shape the future endeavors of our label.

Organizing such a transformative event would not have been possible without the collaborative efforts of MTN Bushfire and Africa Rising Music Conference. Your commitment to nurturing talent and fostering growth within the African music industry is commendable.

This event has not only enriched our professional lives but has also fostered meaningful connections and friendships within the music community. The bonds forged during this time are invaluable, and I am profoundly grateful for these connections.

With sincere thanks and warm regards,

Thabiso Njoko Founder And President Riska_D_Rollaz Records

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

What is your take about Louis management BGM commenting on him being boycotted on BBC Radio? There is an article in Mexican tabloids even connecting Rob Stringer to it. Louis spoke about it also in direct and more subtle way. But what my main question about all this is why? What is the point objectively speaking.

So here's the thing anon. BMG is Louis record label, not his management company. Nobody has talked about him being boycotted on BBC radio as a whole, but he's not being playlisted on Radio 1. There's nothing wrong with not knowing things or getting details wrong, but I think to have so many details wrong in once sentence suggests a lack of curiosity. Your questions aren't actually questions.

It's a bit depressing to have to point out that Mexican tabloids are not good sources for Radio 1 playlisting decisions. If you were actually interested in how songs get playlisted or not on Radio 1 - there's heaps of information about it. The station itself has current and historical documents that they've put out about the process. It's a matter of reasonable public interest - so there's also reporting on it.

The point is that Louis' music doesn't meet the criteria for what Radio 1 is playlisting. There isn't a bigger goal or aim or someone nefarious. It's also not unusual - it happens to lots of people - including Madonna. To point out the obvious most music isn't played on radio one.

Part of my problem asking this sort of question is that as someone who listened to radio 1 reasonably regularly while I was in the UK, it doesn't surprise me that Louis' songs don't get playlisted. So I find it difficult to answer these anons who are seeking some grand explanation.

If you read the article I linked to about Madonna - what they say is they want music to be relevant to younger audiences. There are several obstacles to Louis' being seen as relevant to younger audiences. The first is that he doesn't have a major label behind him - the best way to ensure you're relevant is to spend the money to try and make sure something is a hit. Artists who are promising to do that get a long way with radio playlisters, and the fact that BMG can't means that it's an uphill battle.

On top of that there's the perception that Louis' audience is narrow, but very, very passionate. That's an obstacle to being seen as having wider relevance (and its the reason that fan intensity cannot help Louis get playlisted - it just reinforces the existing idea that Louis' music only appeals to a very narrow group of passionate fans). There's also a challenge for Louis to seem current. As he's not making the sort of music that is at the centre of pop music right now - he needs to be current in other ways. Artists like Sam Fender seem more current - even though they're roughly the same age, because Sam Fender's transition from person to popstar is much more recent so he's writing music from the perspective of someone who was just newly became famous - and so can write about what life in the world is like now - in a way Louis can't.

Louis' music would have to really pop with the focus groups that Radio 1 does to overcome all this.

But my question is always - so what? What do people imagine would be different if Louis was playlisted on Radio 1? There would be a cost in being playlisted - a lot of his promo resources would have to go into it and also he'd probably have less freedom about his music. Would it be worth it? Niall was playlisted and he's spent 12 weeks in the chart peaking at number 16. I'm not sure that cost benefit analysis stacks up. What are fans are imagining would be different if Louis' was playlisted on radio 1?

[astrocafecoffee]

💫Your future spouse's career based on your Juno persona chart 💫

✨ For entertainment purposes only. Enjoy.✨

🌜what to check?

- just check your Industria (389) asteroid in your Juno persona chart.Find out in which house it falls in!!

Why this asteroid?

- Juno persona chart tells about your future spouse and Industria(389) asteroid is a long term career related asteroid. So this asteroid in your juno persona chart can give a insight about your future spouse's career.

🌜SOME SHORT TERMS I USED HERE :

- FS = FUTURE SPOUSE

-JPC = JUNO PERSONA CHART

Leshh go!

🌆 Industria in 1st house of JPC : 1st house represent one's identity, personality and how they present themselves to the world.This asteroid in 1st house suggests that their career may be tied to their personal identity and innovative spirit. Now some possible career of your fs-

*Entrepreneurial scientist - they may excel in entrepreneurial pursuits within the scientific community. They may innovate new technologies, products that have a significant impact in their field.

* Industry leader - they maybe known for their innovative idea and proactive attitude to their work. They can easily be a leader of their respective industry.

* visionary consultant - they may excel in their field as a respectful advisor, who offers solutions to businesses or individuals seeking guidance.

* Creative director- career in creative leadership such as creative director in advising, film, fashion, or design.

* makeup artist

* Model

* engeneering

* design/ work in media.

🌆 Industria in 2nd house of JPC : Their career may be closely related to their values resources, managing or utilising assets and their sense of stability. Some possible career of your fs -

* wealth management specialist - they helps individuals or organizations maximize their financial resources and investments through innovative and strategic approach.

* Creative Financial analyst - specialised in creative or innovative analysis methods.

* Financial innovator- innovates new financial products, services or strategies.

* asset manager

* Entrepreneurial investor

* can sing well

* accountant

🌆 Industria in 3rd house of JPC : 3rd house represents one's communication style, mental persuits, and interaction within immediate environment. When this asteroid in your 3rd house this can indicate that your fs may excel in the career of innovative communication methods or technologies. Some possible career of your fs -

* They may into journalism, media, broadcasting, or public relations where someone uses their creative ideas.

* technology writer/ blogger: their career path may involve writing / blogging about technologies or industry trends or sharing their ideas with wide audience.

* Workshop/ educational outreach programs.

* small business owner

* excel in troubleshooting skills, problem solving abilities, explaining complex concepts in simple terms.

🌆 Industria in 4th house of JPC : their career tied to their home , family roots, and emotional well-being.some possible career of your fs -

* career in real estate - specialize in designing sustainable, eco friendly, or technologically advanced buildings.

* e- commerce, consulting, freelance work.

* Family councillor or therapist - they may help individuals and families navigate challenges, fostering harmony and growth within te hone environment.

* interior designer

* Home renovation specialist

* Family owned business owner.

* childcare provider

🌆 Industria in 5th house of JPC : 5th house is associated with creativity,joy, children and hobbies. It governs one's individual approach to work, self expression and personal fulfillment. So your fs career strongly related to this area of life. Possible careers -

* creative artist/ entertainer - Excels in creative profession like music , theater , film, writing etc.

* event planer- organizing wedding, festivals or social gathering.

* teacher/ coach - inspiring or guiding others in academic subject/ sports.

* youth councillor - natural affinity to work with young people and helping them to discover their talents.

* atrs nd crafts business owner.

* fitness instructor

* dance teacher

* entertainment industry professional.

🌆 Industria in 6th house of JPC : 6th house is associated with employment, daily task, health and service to others. So possible career of your fs -

* health care professionals - career related to healthcare, nursing, doctor, medicine, and pharmacy.

* nutritionist/ dietician - helping others to improve their dietary habits , manage health condition.

* fitness trainer/ coach - motivates others to adopt healthy lifestyle.

* administrative professional - may indicate talent for efficiency, attention to detail, making career in administrative or office management appealing.

* environmental scientist

* social worker

* reasearch assistant

🌆 Industria in 7th house of JPC : 7th house is related to marriage, buisness partnership, legal matters, and one-on-one interactions. Possible career domains of your fs-

*legal professional - career related as mediators, legal consultant, specialization in areas such as contrat law , family law or dispute resolution.

* business consultant - expertise in the area of strategy, negotiation, and partnership development.

* marriage and family therapist - helping couples navigate challenges, improve communication and strengthen their bonds through therapy or councilling sessions.

* international business manager

* foreign affair specialist

* event coordinator

*public relation specialist

* human resources manager

🌆 Industria in 8th house of JPC : 8th house is associated with themes such as mysteries, psychology, healing, emotional connection. So possible careers of your fs -

* psychologist/ psychotherapist - your fs may excel in trauma therapy, helping others to navigate profound emotional experiences , uncover hidden truth.

* forensic investigator/ crime analyst- they may be focused on uncovering hidden truths and solving mysteries.

*massage therapist - specialize in modalities such as deep tissue massage, craniosacral therapy or helping clients release emotional/ physical tension through healing.

* reasearch scientist - may excel in fields such as psychology, quantum physics, or consciousness studies.

* occultist - astrologer, tarot reader, or spiritual councillors.

* healer/ energy worker

* heal others through their respective fields. Can be. Singer too .

🌆 Industria in 9th house of JPC: 9th house is associated with themes such as higher learning, expansion of horizons , seeking truth, broadening one's perspective through travel/ exploration. Possible careers of your fs -

* international relations specialist - involve promoting international cooperation, resolving conflicts, forming mutual understanding between nations and cultures.

* spiritual teacher/ guru- your fs may pursue careers as spiritual teachers, gurus, mentors, guiding others on their spiritual journey.

* tour guide

* philosopher

* religious leader - may pursue careers as priests, ministers, guiding and supporting communities in matters of faith and spiritual growth.

* global NGO worker

* foreign language teacher

🌆 Industria in 10th house of JPC: 10th house is associated with themes such as career aspirations, social status, reputation, and professional achievements. This asteroid influences the individual's approach to career, public image, authority, ambition. So possible careers of your fs -

* media personality/ influencer - television hosts , journalist, bloggers, social media influencer , reaching a wide audience.

* creative director/ artist - artist, designer, performers.

* CEO

* startup founder, business owner, or self employed professionals.

* legal professional/ lawyer

* educational administrator

🌆 Industria in 11th house of JPC: when your industria asteroid in this house your fs may excel in the career of social network, group affiliation, humanitarian causes, collaboration etc. So possible careers of your fs -

* social entrepreneur - creates innovative solutions to adress social challenges.

* Tech entrepreneur, start-up founder.

* content creator - social media influencers, bloggers, using their platforms to inspire/ educate peoples.

* environment activist

* advocate

* community organizer

* designing educational platforms , or promoting digital literacy.

🌆 Industria in 12th house of JPC: 12th house is often associated with hidden strengths, spirituality, and working behind the scenes. So possible careers of your fs -

* they might work in reserch and development, data analysis or logistical planning behind the scenes.

* astro- spiritual researcher

* music industry

* astrologer

*song writer.

* mystical or spiritual advisor.

* environmental conservationist.

⚡ Note : these are only some possibilities of careers of your fs. And guys check the degrees to , it's like cheery on top 💌

🌜Don't forget to check my other observations too 👀

That's it guys , see you soon 💝

- piko 💖

[larrylimericks]

19Oct24

No matter how mad the word made us, It always held hope — a “hiatus.”

I’m sad for so many reasons — the fundamental sadness of death, and at such a young age; having to process the mortality of someone so extraordinary it seems they should transcend a fate as ordinary as dying; aching for his family and friends; angry that he had to navigate such a cruel world, one that continues to disrespect him in death. Yes, Liam was damaged and in turn damaged others; he had demons to face and amends to make — I like to think he would have, given a chance. His talent was so immense, and there was so much more to come. I believe he would have found a way to redemption, and then had such a beautiful renaissance.

The joy of being a 1D fan has always been policed and mocked. We’ve so frequently been laughed at, dismissed for the intensity of our love for the band. And now, the world wants to do the same with our grief, questioning its legitimacy, trivializing our feelings. But this loss is real. And this grief is valid.

And the grief of losing Liam is compounded by the grief of losing so much else. He wasn’t just a celebrity. They weren’t just a boyband. He was an integral part of an integral part of our formative years — no matter how old we were when we found them. So many of us are the people we are in part because of the people they are. Were. We’ve lost a beloved one, we’ve lost innocence, we’ve lost inspiration, we’ve lost a piece of our foundation.

We’ve lost hope.

It used to frustrate me, in retrospect, that they called it a “hiatus.” It felt dishonest — like a gentle lie to let us down easy. Why couldn’t they just say it was over? That being a boy band has a built-in shelf life, and it was time to explore solo careers. But now I understand the kindness in that word. For hope springs eternal, and it didn’t matter if it never came. All that matters was that it might. And “hiatus” wasn’t just for us; it held their optimism too. Especially Liam’s. It left the door open, even if only a crack, for the possibility of something more.

It’s been a remarkable gift to watch each one find his own path and his own voice. But when they announced a hiatus in 2015, they planted a seed of hope that someday we’d see the unrivaled magic of those boys on stage together again — the greatest team the world has ever seen. Maybe Zayn would join, probably not. Maybe it would’ve been a one-off thing for charity or a special anniversary. Maybe it would be in their 50s when the allure of easy money from a reunion tour was too tempting to resist. But surely, eventually, 1D would reunite in some capacity. I was excited to see how their once frenetic energy and youthful antics would meld with the mature solo artists they’ve become.

That hope sustained us through 18 months and eventually eight years, but now the hiatus is over. I would have happily clowned for every remaining day of my life than know this new certainty brought by the finality of Liam’s death. Maybe, someday, there will be a memorial performance. Maybe we’ll see three or four out of five come together to honor him — and what a poignant testament it will be that Liam was what could bring them together. Or maybe it will never feel right to them to take the stage without him, and that, too, will make all the sense in the world.

I wish I had an uplifting ending for this post. I don’t. I wake up and my first thought is “Liam isn’t here anymore,” and then I go about my day with that relentless realization lurking around the corner of every mundane task I do.

I haven’t been able to listen to their music yet. It’s a cruel trick that the thing that always brought comfort is now a trigger for grief. But I hope that will soon change. That, at some point, I’ll put on WMYB, get choked up at “You’re insecure” and second-guess my readiness. But then jump to History, and find solace in the lyrics that are currently rattling around my brain but aren’t ready to be heard yet: “This is not the end, this is not the end” … “We can live forever.”

❯❯❯❯

[buriedpentacles]

10 Simple Ways to Worship Mother Nature

These could apply to any earthly god or goddess really, so feel free to borrow any ideas that speak to you! And please tell me about how you worship your deity, I'd love to know 💚🪲

Going for daily, mindful walks. Sometimes I'll listen to music, other times I'll just listen to the world around me.

Wear a lot of greens and browns, as well as recycled and more sustainable fabrics (a lot of my clothes are also thrifted, and I try to avoid overconsumption)

Decorate my space with earthy colours, posters and pieces of the earth - I have crystals, bones, pressed flowers and even rocks and twigs in my room

Learn about nature and the world around me - I am a zoology student so my academic career is also a devotion to Mother Nature but I also learn about what animals I can see locally, I study when and where flowers bloom and how to tell when rain is coming etc

Reconnect with my more primal side - a significant part of my work with Mother Nature is reognising and accepting that humans are animals, and we behave as such; we cannot allow ourselves to become seperate from wilderness. To me, this involves connecting with my intuition and gut feelings, recognising my emotions and desires and working with them

Making and wearing daisy chains or flower crowns

Creating art inspired by the world around me and myself

Caring for animals (that includes other humans) when I can and it's safe: from helping a snail move across the path, to making sure a dying bird can rest peacefully, to giving food and money to the homeless

Loving myself, though it isn't always easy

Spending time outside with my hands in the dirt or streams, speaking with the trees and birds and listening to their replies

[astroboots]

Punch-Out Love

Artwork by @guruan

FIGHT NIGHT

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader

Summary: You're lucky enough to score ring-side seats at a boxing match on Friday night. Getting the best view in the house of boxing champion: Miguel O'Hara.

Word count: 1,500

Next Chapter

Spiderverse Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist 

You know fuck all about boxing.

About the only thing you know about the sport was from the glimpses you caught watching scratched up old recordings of Muhammed Ali fights on the boxy mini-tv of your old childhood friend's house.

It always seemed barbaric. The practice of watching two human beings beat the shit out of each other for spectator's entertainment. It seems like something that was better left in the Ancient Roman times. Have we all human beings as a society, really not come further some 2,000 years later?

Your bestie used to get mad at you for this. Constantly defending the sport from your criticism, because (according to him) it's not just about smashing each other's faces in. Supposedly, there's an art to the sport. Boxers are taught to respect their opponents and adhere to the principles of good sportsmanship. It takes great mental discipline, dedicated work and years of hard and punishing training to master boxing.

You never saw any of that in the matches he showed you. All you saw were two men needlessly being hurt, sustaining brain damage for rich people's enjoyment.

Then again, he was more than a little bit biased, considering it was his dream to go pro one day. Tall and gangly, with his scrawny antelope legs, thick-rimmed glasses and big-ass braces, he looked like he couldn't punch his way out of a paper bag, much less another person. You never understood how exactly he thought he was going to make it as a boxer.

But you never found it in you to burst his unrealistic bubble when he used to point at the screen excitedly, drawing your attention to Ali's footwork and the artistry in it. 

"It's like he's dancing," he used to say.

Except dancing is done with swelling music in the background. In dancing you often have a partner. It's an embrace. It's gentle and kind.

Boxing... was not that.

So you don't know how you managed to find yourself in the ringside seats of a local boxing match on a Friday evening, staring up at the boxing ring with the glaring ring lights shining into your eyes.

"Aren't these seats amazing?" Jess shouts excitedly over the familiar lyrics of ‘We Will Rock You' being belted out by Freddy Mercury on the loudspeaker.

You smile, and nod, because boxing-fan or not, she's right, these are some amazing seats. And considering you didn't have to pay a dime for them, personal aversions aside, you're never going to turn down free stuff.

Jess' husband tested positive for covid at the last minute, and you're the only one in your social circle that is anti-social and single enough to not have any plans on a Friday evening.

On the monitors above you, the menacing headshots of the two fighters swish into view.

"The first guy is an old reigning champ," she explains to you, as she leans in, shouting into your eardrums (and yet you can still barely make out what she's saying over the music). "The challenger is some new kid on the block. Has an amazing track record. Zero losses in the season. He's something else."

You look up at the gigantic screen, at the sharp cut cheeks, strong thick brows and the intense pitched brown eyes staring down at you.

Angry looking dude.

...Handsome too.

With a face like that, surely he could've gone into other careers. Calvin Klein model, movie star, or a news anchor. You wonder what makes a guy voluntarily have his face bashed in for money as a career.

"Ladies and gentlemen," a loud booming voice announces from the stage.

You jump in your seat from the suddenness, as you see a bald and overly formal dressed announcer in the middle of the ring. 

"Welcome to the electrifying boxing showdown of the century! Are you ready to witness some knockout action tonight?"

The crowd around you cheers with a pandemonium of shouting and whistling.

"Introducing our first fighter, a true hometown hero! With an impressive record of 20 wins, 15 by knockout, and only 2 losses, standing at 6'3 feet, and weighing in at 340 pounds of determination and strength, give it up for ‘the Knockout King’ Bobby Kane!"

You watch as the reigning champion walks down the tunnel to the midst of adoring cheers as he waves and gestures at the crowd like royalty.

Every inch the king that he is nicknamed, he jumps over the rope and stands tall and proud over the ring.

The man is huge, bulging with almost grotesque muscles. He's so large that you almost expect each of his steps to send a reverberation throughout the hall, as if this was Jurassic Park and he's a T-Rex.

"Now, entering the ring with the confidence of a warrior, fighting out of the red corner, with 15 wins, 10 by knockout, and no losses, standing at an astounding 6 feet 9 inches, and weighing in at 310 pounds of raw power, let's hear it for tonight's challenger, ‘Steel Jaw’ Miguel O'Hara!"

Wait what? You do a double take at the announcement. Six foot nine?!?! What kind of giant is that?

From the far corner of the hall, you see his silhouette emerge, and your eyes go wide at the sight of him. Tall doesn't even begin to describe him. 

There's a 200 year oak tree at Central Park, and with the shadow this man casts, you think their height must be nearly comparable. If you thought the Knockout King was tall, the "King" is practically tiny compared to this challenger.

You watch, as the man with cheeks so sharp they mind as well be blades (and god never has a nickname made more sense to you) as he strides towards the stage. He reaches the rope and barely even has to climb over it with how tall he is.

He's leaner than his predecessor. Every inch of him is cut muscles and tanned gorgeous skin as he stands in front of you. His presence is electric. The air crackles where he stands, towering over the stage.

You swear that his towering height blocks out the ring lights with it, casting the stage in the darkness of his tall shadow.

Somehow, he's even prettier in person compared to the still image of him blown up and plastered on the big screen. Soft brown curls and pouty lips. You don't understand in what world a man like that is a professional fighter.

From this distance, with the way that the light refracts from his irises, his eyes almost glow with a scarlet red that takes your breath away as you look up at him and meet his eyes.

If you didn't know better, you'd think he was staring at you.

The bell rings out, but he's not looking away. The intensity you find there is enough to make you swallow your tongue. Your face prickles with heat and for several long moments you forget to breathe, until the air seems to thin around you and your vision starts to swim.

Then he turns to face his opponent.

You're not quite sure where to look. There's so much happening at once. For his size, Miguel O'Hara is surprisingly deft on his feet. His footwork is somehow both unpredictable yet intentional all at once.

The King throws a strong punch, as he lunges forward, after his tall opponent. But O'Hara dodges them seemingly without effort. It's followed by punches so quick, the movements blur together.

Strike after strike. The King is giving it his all. But none of it properly connects. With every failed hit, you can see him growing increasingly more frustrated.

Your heart is in your lungs, and despite how close you are to the stage, you almost want to get up from your seat for a closer look.

Safe as you are behind the ropes, adrenaline rushes through your veins with a fury. You can't recall the last time you felt this ecstatic about... well, anything.

With each punch O’Hara dodges, you feel yourself lurch back in your seat, trying to dodge the punch with him.

It's titillating.

Exciting.

O'Hara's movements are precise and honed with intention despite the ferocity in his movements. Each one is measured and intricate and if you didn't know any better you'd almost call it graceful.

You think back to those moments in your childhood friend's home, and his excited words buzz in your ears now. For the first time ever you finally understand what he had meant.

It is like a dance.

Before you, O’Hara's eyes cross over in your direction and for a split of a second, you swear your eyes connect again. His gaze holds you there, pinned to your seat, and excitement shoots through the entirety of your spine until you feel lightheaded from the attention.

Then he finally steps forward, no longer evading.

It's brutal and efficient.

An uppercut that connects cleanly to his opponent's jaw.

Spit and blood flies out from the man's mouth, the flabby flesh of his cheek vibrating from the impact as he lands on the floor with an ear-shattering thud.

Then the guy is out.

Barely even eight minutes in. 

There's a stunned and shocked silence. The crowd seems both enthralled and disappointed at how fast it all went. On the ring floor, you can practically see the circle of cartoon birds flying above the defeated King's head.

You may not know anything about boxing, but you know that this man is not getting up anytime soon, no matter how far the referee counts.

Tearing your eyes away from the motionless body splayed out on the ground elevated above you, you can see the victor towering menacingly over the body.

But Miguel O'Hara isn't even looking at his defeated opponent

No, his eyes are staring straight into the sea of awestruck spectators. Except he’s not looking at them.

He's looking at you.

~ Next.

Author's note: What's that you say? CiCi wtf are you doing starting another series when you already got one going on? ... Idek man. But I hope you guys enjoy it, cause I had a blast writing it, smut will ensue in later chapters I promise!

Dedications and Credits: Buckle up it's gonna be a big one!

Firstly to @guruan when I say she's my muse THIS IS WHAT I MEAN! Look at that beautiful artwork. I am drooling into my panties. I am crying between my legs. I am so damn horny! I cannot thank this amazingly talented genius enough. Please please give this wonderful brilliant human your love by following her, and drop by her KO-FI SHOP cause the art this woman bless us with is UN-fucking-REAL

Then to @djarinsbeskar who put this idea into my head. In my mind she is the OG Boxer AU champion and mastermind. If you are in the mood for more boxing content, she has a wonderful, devastatingly sexy series Boxer!Din AU that is just woof woof bark bark.

[kamotecue]

the one that got away ❆ l. williamson

pairing: leah williamson x fem!reader

summary: after you had torn your acl, it was deemed that you weren't able to return to your football career. so, what happens when you pursued something different, that the one you love, ended up being the one who got away? singer!reader

agony was what the blonde defender felt, it was the agony of losing you - the one that got away, for the english captain it was a relentless ache, the haunting melody of memories that lingers long after the music has stopped. her silent screams, the tumultuois storm of her emotions that threatens to consume every one of her thoughts and feelings. it was definitely a rollercoaster ride of emotions, the experience you both had together as a couple - the deep sense of grief and loss, the emptiness feeling that was impossible to feel, how every thought is consumed by the memories of you - how you'd both dance in the rain, her watching in amusement as you would always make blanket forts during movie nights, how she held onto you close as if you were going to disappear, and lastly, her favorite - the way she'd kiss you in private, how she showed you what it's like to be loved.

yet there it was, the winter of 2011 - you had suffered an anterior cruciate ligament injury making everything fall down, as much as you tried there was nothing that you could do. and so, you had left the football world, despite being the arsenal prodigy. a knock was heard, as you gazed at your bedroom door - the blonde defender had carefully opened the door, she looked at your eyes to see them filled with tears, knowing how this moment would change everything. your career ending injury, the one you sustained was not just a blow to your body, but a devestating blow to your dreams. you had worked so hard, sacrificed so much, to reach the pinnacle of yourcareer, only to have it all taken away in an instant.

"i won't be playing alongside you, as we thought, lee." your voice broke as you buried your face into the crook of her neck. the blonde reaching to softly rub your back, in an attempt to calm you which it did. the sniffles was heard throughout the house, yet all she could do was be there for you. it took you a while to accept circumstance, so you moved onto something else - music was the second, no third thing you loved - besides football, and the english defender. a year later, you took off into the music industry with a storm - you decided to form a band with your childhood friends, performing in sold-out stadiums, releasing a whole album - and it was even worse when the band had even gotten more famous.

in the early days, the love between you two was a bright flame, burning fiercely and passionately. but as your music career soared to unimaginable heights, the glare of fame cast a shadow over their relationship, changing everything. you had never anticipated the level of fame and scrutiny that would come with the band's success. everywhere you went, you were followed by a throng of fans and paparazzi, eager for a glimpse into your glamorous life. in which the pressure to maintain your image became suffocating, and you knew that any hint of scandal could spell disaster for your career. asmuch as you loved the blonde defender, you also knew that being seen with her in public could invite unwanted attention and speculation. that's why you couldn't bear the thought of her being surrounded by the media, or having her privacy invaded - as she loved being private. and so, with a heavy heart, you made the painful decision to push her away, thinking it was for the best.

at first, lee was confused and hurt with the way you acted, the unnesscary coldness. you tried to explain it, to make her understand the pressure you were under, but the damage had already been done, the trust between you two had been shattered, despite your best intentions - it couldn't be repaired. so as the distance between you two grew, your love began to wither and fade - the bright flame that had once burned so brightly was now nothing more than a flicker, barely illuminating the darkness that crept into the relationship. in the end, you were alone - your fame and success, a hollow comfort for the love that you'd lost. you often find yourself pondering, if you made the right choice, if pushing her away had been the only option, but deep down, you knew that the price of fame had been too high, and that you'd always regret the day that you'd let her slip away.

yet there you were, in front of her eyes - performing in front of 90,000 fans. she still loves you, and a part of her is hoping that you still do. and you do, you still do - there are countless nights were you're looking up at the hotel ceiling, a lingering ache in your heart for the love you had lost, the one that could've been yours if fate had not intervened. you'd often wondered how things could've been different if the acl injury had never happened, perhaps you would've never pursued music with such fervor, instead choosing a quieter life by her side. the lazy mornings spent in bed, tangeled in each other's embrace, and peaceful evenings watching as the sun would set, hand in hand. but reality was cruel, and the injury shattered not just your dreams but also the future you had envisioned with her. and as the final notes of your song had faded away, you closed your eyes, imagining for a brief moment that she was there in the crowd, that the blue eyes you had fallen in love with - and when you opened them, she was. a wide smile was seen on her face, as you noticed the tears in her eyes that were begging to drop, she was watching you with pride and love.

the crowd had cheered, as you looked away - greeted them with a small smile, as you bid goodbye. her eyes followed as you left the stage, a concerned look was seen throughout your bandmate's eyes. the crowd began to leave, one by one - yet a dazed look was shown on her face, you saw her, yet you haven't made the effort to do anything. maybe you shouldn't, maybe you couldn't or maybe you didn't have to.

"come on, lee - the concert is done." beth, her club and national teammate said, as a soft sigh was heard. she didn't notice a tour staff had walked her way. you had given orders to invite her teammate's backstage. the defender had only looked up when she took note of the unfamiliar ones, her eyes locked onto someone in uniform, the lanyard confirming that she worked for, or with you.

"ms. williamson, i presume? i was ordered to give you these backstage passes, as well as to escort you backstage." the worker said, as her eyes gazed to the passes in her hands, beth and a few others, their eyes had widened in shock. she slowly stood up before nodding to the girl, as every step began to feel a bit heavy for the defender, you walked back in forth in your changing room - wondering if it was the right choice.

it was, as the team had been led backstage, leah had caught the eyes of your three childhood best friends - people that she also knows, as she formed a friendship with the trio while you were dating. an amused look was seen on oliver's face, as he stood up to greet the team.

"never thought i'd see you again, lee." oliver's charming voice was heard, catching the eyes of his two other bandmate's "childhood friends". a soft smile was shown on archie's and adeline's face.

"neither did i" the english captain's voice was calm, gaining the attention of oliver who softly hummed.

"we've missed you, but she misses you more." oliver replied, he gazed at your dressing room door - it opened, revealing you.

[lewmagoo]

diamond cowboy | rhett abbott

description: in which a good ride comes with an even greater reward

pairing: rhett abbott x f!reader

warnings: 18+ only, semi public sex, unprotected piv sex, light choking, begging, overstimulation, creampie, dom/sub undertones

There was nothing like watching your man standing in the middle of the ring, breathless and sweaty, pride glowing on his face as thunderous cheering erupted around him. 

He wasn’t one that craved attention on a regular basis. He preferred a quiet “good job” over dramatic praise. But after a good ride, that kind of over-the-top praise made his heart soar. He was on top of the world, king of the rodeo. The best fuckin’ bull rider there was. 

But there was only one person in the crowd whose approval he searched for. Wild blue eyes flickered to the stands, scanning, hoping, and finally, he saw you. Jumping up and down in the stands, shouting his name, cheering for him. 

His chest flooded with warmth. His face broke into a smile. He thumped his fist against his chest, right over his heart, and you placed your own hand over yours. You were so proud of him. He could see it written all over your face. 

And that alone made it all worth it. The broken bones. The dislocated shoulders. The concussions. The blood, sweat, and tears that had gotten him to this point. As long as you were there, his biggest cheerleader, all was right with the world. 

As he looked into your eyes, the deafening noise of the crowd seemed to fade into the background. “I love you,” you mouthed. 

He grinned. “I know,” he mouthed back. 

It was a good ride. His best ride. The ride that would advance his career and change the trajectory of your lives for the better. 

It was amazing, how far he’d come. After he had left his family’s house and started his life with you, things had changed. He’d come into his own. He was no longer living in the shadows of his father and brother. He felt freer than he’d ever felt before. 

It was only natural that he rode better, too. He had more energy to put into his craft, and it showed. He’d quickly climbed to the top of the rodeo circuit and was now entering into a fruitful riding career. 

You were so unbelievably proud of him. Though watching him ride was often stressful, and seeing him sustain countless injuries made your heart ache, you wanted him to chase his dream. You’d never dream of trying to hold him back from it. 

And it was worth it to see the joy on his beautiful face. He was glowing from the inside out. A diamond cowboy. 

You knew he’d seek you out after he cleared the arena. You made your way down from the stands as quickly as you could, dodging friends who threw congratulations your way, praising your man’s victory. You shouted thanks over your shoulder, breezing through the crowd until you found yourself back behind the stands. 

You kept moving, scurrying to the area marked riders only. You waited at the gate for a beat, knowing Rhett would emerge soon, and you wanted to be the first person he saw when he did. 

You were vibrating with excited energy, bouncing on the balls of your feet, eager to catch a glimpse of him coming toward you. And then, finally, he emerged. Had in hand, as it had flown off during his ride, and he hadn’t bothered to put it back on. His hair was tousled, and he wore a big grin on his face. 

As soon as he saw you, that smile went impossibly wider. He broke into a jog, reaching out to unlatch the gate, slipping through the opening with ease. 

“We did it, baby!” He exclaimed, and you laughed musically as he wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. 

“No, you did it!” Came your breathless response, after he set you back down. Your hands came up to hold his face, and you beamed up at him, your eyes shining. 

He kissed you deeply. “Naw, there’s no me without you. I did it because I knew you were up there watchin’ me, cheerin' me on. We did it.”

You hummed, smiling against his mouth. “Alright then, I won’t argue with you, cowboy.” You let your hands rest against his broad chest, where you could feel his heart thudding like racing hoofbeats upon the ground. 

His large, calloused hands gripped your hips, pulling you against him, his body warm and thrumming with adrenaline still. He kissed you again, his lips searing against yours, hot and needy. 

He was always like this after a good ride. A live wire, sizzling and crackling with white-hot energy. You could see it in the way his eyes shimmered in the yellow light cast by the lights above you. 

And you could feel it when he pressed his hips into you, a telltale hardness in his jeans that had your mouth running dry. The glimmer in his eyes darkened into something else. 

It came as no surprise to you, because it wasn’t the first time it had happened. But it still pulled a surprised squeak from you, especially when he pushed you back against the fence, his weight leaning into you. 

“R-Rhett!” You peeped, “here?!”

But you already knew the answer. 

“Need you now, darlin’. All I could think about after I jumped off that fuckin’ bull was how badly I wanted to sink into this little pussy of yours and celebrate my victory.”

“But what if someone sees?” Your resolve was melting as he pressed hot kisses down your jaw.

“They ain’t gonna see,” he replied, “an’ if they do, then we’ll give ‘em a good show. I need my girl now. Can’t wait ‘til we get home.”

And how could you ever deny him? Especially when his teeth were nipping at your skin, and he’d managed to slide his thigh between your legs, already applying pressure where you needed him most, your panties the only thing separating your skin from touching the denim. You were grateful you’d decided to wear a dress. 

Rhett leaned back, hand catching your arm. “C’mere.” Quickly, he pulled you after him, guiding you further from the gates. You soon found yourself between a set of trailers, shrouded in shadow, but only a few steps away from the main path, where anyone could happen upon you. 

That didn’t matter, though. Not when his day old stubble was prickling at your sensitive skin as he kissed and licked down your neck, tasting you, savoring you. He breathed in deep, taking in the smell of you. The perfume he liked, mixed with your natural scent. It drove him wild. 

You were pressed against the outside of the trailer, it’s cold metal sending a chill through the fabric of your dress. But you’d warm up soon enough. 

Besides, you hardly had time to register the coldness when you felt Rhett against you again, hard cock trapped within the confines of his Wranglers, grinding against your lower abdomen. 

He was so strong, teeming with virile energy, keyed up from the high of his ride. You felt your knees growing weak, knowing he could toss you around like a ragdoll and do whatever he pleased with you. It was a strength that came from holding onto thousand pound bulls, hauling bales of hay, and wrangling stray cattle. 

You slid your hands along his defined arms, the muscle flexing beneath the fabric of his cotton shirt. Blue, like his eyes. You could hardly take the time to marvel at it, because his lips were on yours again, tongue slipping into your mouth. He tasted of the beer he’d downed before his ride. 

Beyond you, you could hear voices, and the knowledge that anyone could walk past and see what you were doing sent a shiver down your spine, and warmth blooming between your thighs. 

But again, you were distracted by the man before you, pawing at you, kissing at your skin, nipping at the flesh. Your head was beginning to feel like it was filled with static, your brain short-circuiting with each hot kiss and drag of his fingers. 

And then, suddenly, he pulled back. “Hold on,” he mumbled, moving to reach into the breast pocket of his shirt. He slipped a small packet of wet wipes out of the pocket, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched him quickly wipe his hands. 

“You came prepared, huh?” You teased. 

His eyes twinkled. “Sure did. I was anticipatin’ a win, figured I’d keep wipes on hand for afterward.”

“You’re a sly dog, Mr. Abbott.”

He smirked as he tucked the packet of wipes back into his pocket. “What can I say? Always gotta be ready to touch m’ girl. Ain’t about to get your delicate lil pussy all dirty with my filthy fingers now.” 

You appreciated him for it. He tried hard to consider things like this. Making sure he was looking out for you, even in the little things, was important to him. 

Your mind went blank, however, when he slid his warm hand down the front of your body, pushing past the fabric of your panties until his fingers struck gold. Already slick for him, your cunt accepted his fingers with ease. He circled your sensitive clit for a moment before he traveled lower, prodding at your entrance. 

Two thick fingers slipped inside you. You whimpered, your knees almost buckling. He held you upright, his arm secured around your waist as he curled those digits within you. You kissed him feverishly, whining against his mouth, fire burning within you, licking at your skin, threatening to consume you whole already. 

You couldn’t help but push your hips into his touch, humping his hand as he fucked you with his fingers. He sped up his movements, just so he could hear the sound of your wetness emanate from between your thighs. 

“You dirty lil thang,” he drawled, eyes narrowing, much like a cat’s. “You fuckin’ love this.”

“Uh-huh,” you sighed in agreement as you pressed your lips to his jaw, sucking on the stubbled skin. 

He moved his fingers faster, deeper, thumb coming up to encircle your now swollen clit. It was almost pathetic, how much of an effect he had on you. He’d barely gotten started and you were already losing yourself, your brain turning to mush at his touch. 

He knew exactly how to angle his fingers to hit that spot inside you that made your toes curl. And then, all at once, he added a third finger into the mix, and your cunt stretched to accommodate it. 

“Oh!” You gasped. 

“Gotta get you ready f’r me, honey,” came his words, breathed hotly into your mouth. 

“I am ready,” you wanted to say, but you were entirely speechless as he moved his fingers hard and fast, enough to jar your entire being. You were so wet, it was beginning to drip down his fingers and coat his palm. 

He kept going, even as he lifted his other hand to unbuckle his belt. You might’ve marveled at the fact that he’d done it one-handed, if you weren’t so distracted by the way he filled you with his fingers. 

Your head lolled back against the cool wall of the trailer, your eyes squeezed shut as you clenched your jaw, body shaking uncontrollably. Faster and faster he went, determined to make you fall apart before he even got his cock in you. 

He shoved the fabric of his jeans aside, his boxers following, just enough to free his achingly hard cock. You could feel it against your hip, and it drew you back to the present as you gasped and reached for it. “Want it in me,” you pleaded, but he shook his head. 

“Not yet. Wan’ you to squirt all over m’ fingers first.”

Whining, you sought out his lips again, and he kissed you languidly as he expertly brought you to that peak. You could feel it building like a storm cloud, threatening to open and bring forth a torrential downpour. 

Your mouths were open against each other. You moaned into his, and he grunted into yours, so desperate to make you come, so eager to bring you pleasure. 

And then, the tension released, and you squealed, legs buckling beneath you as you flooded his hand and your panties with the warmth of your release. Rhett growled, his eyes fluttering as he watched you come apart, trembling as he caught you with his free arm. 

“That’s it, there ya go. Let it all out for me. C’mon, I know you got more in there. Give it to me,” he rasped as he continued to move his fingers. 

You were making such a mess. You could feel it beginning to drip down your legs, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. Finally, Rhett gave you some reprieve, sliding his hand away. 

You watched through hazy eyes as he sucked his fingers clean and murmured “fuckin’ delicious.”

He used the wetness on his palm as lubricant as he wrapped his hand firmly around his cock and gave it a few deliberate strokes. You couldn’t help but salivate over the sight. Even in the dim light, you could see how hard and swollen it was, blushing tip shimmering with molten arousal. You wanted it in your mouth. But there’d be time for that later. For now, both of you were desperate for him to be inside you. 

“Turn,” he commanded, strong hands grasping your hips and turning you so that your back was facing him. He placed his palm against your back and gently urged you to lean forward. You placed your hands against the wall of the trailer as he shoved your dress up again and yanked your panties down your legs, just far enough for him to have access. 

Then you felt him, sliding through your puffy folds. Hard and thick and thrumming with need. “You want it?” He gruffed. 

“Yes,” you sighed, nodding eagerly. 

“Really? Cause you don’t sound like you do.”

“Please, Rhett. I want it. I need it.”

He gave your ass a hearty smack, at which you jolted, gasping sharply. “Fuckin’ beg for it.”

He kept sliding the tip past your entrance, teasing you, never granting you what you desired so badly. “Pl-please, sir. I want your cock so bad, it hurts. I need you inside me, I need you to pump me full, please, please, ple—ah!”

Your final plea was cut short as he shunted his hips forward, filling you all at once. Your eyes watered at the stretch. Your toes curled. Your spine tingled. It punched the oxygen right out of your lungs. 

“There ya go. That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” He pulled his hips back before thrusting forward again, and you couldn’t contain the yelp that left you. 

Suddenly, his hand was clamped over your mouth. “Better keep quiet. Don’t want everyone t’ know what a slut you are, lettin’ your cowboy fuck you where anyone could see.” And then, “or, maybe you want that, huh?” Another deep thrust. “Want ‘em all to see how dumb y’ get when my cock is inside ya.”

If only they knew. 

In reality, you were well aware that Rhett would never let anyone see you like this. You both got off on the thrill of it, but he’d never purposely put you in a situation where someone would see you like this. It was why you were pushed into the shadows against the trailer, in a secluded part of the rodeo grounds, and his body was shielding yours. No one could see you over the broad frame of his shoulders. 

He’d protect you always, even in moments like this. Especially in moments like this. Your most vulnerable state. Strung out on desire, brain fuzzy with need, your inhibitions gone. This sight was for his eyes, and his eyes only. And you trusted him to watch over you when you were like this. 

And what a state you were in. Mouth open, eyes shut, shivering under his touch as he held your hips tightly and repeatedly drove his cock into your velvety depths. One of his hands came around the front of your body, disappearing to the place where your bodies met. There, his deft fingers began tracing expert figure eights on your clit, and you threw your head back against his shoulder. 

His free arm supported your weight, muscles bulging as he held you tight, making sure you didn’t fall. His grunts were low against the shell of your ear, animalistic in tone. Feral, in a way. 

Under his breath, you could just barely make out the words “take it, take it, take it.”

And you did. Every inch of him. You’d be sore later, you knew you would be. But you didn’t care. Not when he kept hitting it just right, filling you with such ease and precision. His fingers at your little gathering of nerves had your vision sparkling with electricity, fizzling within the darkness of your eyelids. 

You were still sensitive from your previous orgasm, so it came as no surprise to you that your body was already beginning to climb that peak again. This time it came from deeper within, a flame that had once been dormant, now burning intensely, spreading throughout your entire body. 

The hand that was over your mouth lowered to your throat, and he fucked you even harder as he began to squeeze, fingers pressing into the sides of your neck. He wasn’t cutting off your airflow. No, he was slowing the blood flow, which left you feeling euphoric and lightheaded, as if you were outside of your body, watching him fuck you. 

At that point, you were speechless. Couldn’t utter a coherent word if you tried. All that came past your parted, kiss-bitten lips were squeaks and moans, whimpers and gasps. There were no words to adequately describe the pleasure you were feeling. 

With each push and pull of his cock inside you, you could feel his heavy balls tap against your slick cunt. The sound was lewd and filthy. This entire encounter was filthy. Your panties pushed halfway down your thighs, his jeans haphazardly bunched below his ass. It was a dirty, hurried fuck, and you both loved it. 

With his fingers on your clit and his hand on your throat, you were plummeting toward your end, and he could tell. “That pussy’s squeezin’ me,” he gritted out, “you’re close, aren’t you?”

“Y-y-ye…s,” was all you could muster, as your eyes rolled back. 

He slowed down only slightly, rolling his hips against yours, cock nestled deep. His fingers pressed more insistently against your swollen bundle, and your legs began to tremble. 

He lowered the hand that was around your throat, instead bringing it down to grope at your bouncing breasts, fingers tugging at each nipple. It only added to the shock of bliss already running through you. 

“C’mon, darlin’. Want y’ to come all over me. Make a fuckin’ mess.”

It was right there, just out of your reach, so close you could almost taste it. Warmth blossoming from your head to your toes, intense and all-consuming. Almost there, almost there, almost there. 

“I said, come,” came the deep, commanding growl in your ear. 

And you did. With a strangled cry, you fell apart again, body going rigid in Rhett’s arms as it washed over you. He held you close, grunting as your cunt pulsed around him. The feeling nearly sent him over the edge, but he refused to succumb to it just yet. He was determined to pull one more orgasm out of you before he came. 

He gave you a moment of reprieve, letting you come down slowly from the glorious intensity, your body jolting with the aftershocks. You pressed your hot cheek against the cold exterior of the trailer, in an effort to cool down. You felt as if you’d burst into flames. 

As the haze cleared from your mind, you became aware that Rhett had slowed down, cock nestled deep inside you, in an effort to stave off his end. The evidence of your orgasm had dripped down his shaft, toward his full balls, and it was driving him wild. The fact that he had this affect on you, that he could make you come repeatedly, did wonders for his ego. 

You looked back in fondness at the time you’d first gotten together, and took time to explore one another. Rhett had a reputation. People thought of him as a man whoring cowboy. But in reality, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. 

He’d only been with one other person before you. She was his first everything. First girlfriend, first kiss, first introduction to sex. She was all he’d ever known. He had no idea how wonderfully fulfilling that sex could be, because she, being a little older and more experienced than him, had never taught him. 

It wasn’t until he began a relationship with you that he learned how sweet that connection was. How pleasurable it could be. He was free to explore his fantasies, and learn how vitally important aftercare was. 

Aftercare. Something he hadn’t experienced before. You had shown him how you needed to be cared for after sex, and in turn, you had administered care to him, as well. Your dynamic would switch, at times. Sometimes he was the dominant one. Sometimes you were. But no matter who bore what title, aftercare was non-negotiable for both parties. 

You found that Rhett especially needed gentle reassurance after a particularly intense scene. He doubted himself sometimes, as a dominant. What if he was being too rough with you? What if he hurt you? 

But you were always there to assure him that you trusted him implicitly, that you knew he’d never push you too far. 

It had taken a while to build his confidence, but he’d come a long way since then, and now, the two of you had a healthy dynamic. It was why you both felt comfortable sneaking around like this in public. 

“Y’ still with me, chickadee?” His breathless voice brought you back to the present. 

“Y-yeah,” you managed. 

He pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “Think ya can give me another one?” 

You let out an unsteady sigh, leaning your head back against him. “I think so.”

Another kiss to your shoulder, his stubble nipping at your skin. “Okay, just need y’to hold on a little longer. ‘m almost there.”

“Mhm,” you whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt him begin to move again. Slowly at first, building his rhythm. 

You were so sensitive, and impossibly wet, so much so that as he moved, the obscene squelch of your slick could be heard. 

His fingers found their way to your throbbing clit again, and you jolted, entirely too sensitive. “Oh!”

His forearm wrapped around your middle, and he held you in place as he began to quicken his pace. Deep, hurried, sharp thrusts that stole the breath from you. You clawed at the side of the trailer, trying and failing to find purchase, in an attempt to hold on. 

Rhett was so big and broad against you, his weight grounding you. In the moment, he was using you for his pleasure, even as his fingers continued to rub at you. He grunted and growled in your ear, rutting deep within you. 

“Gon’ come,” he grunted, as your head lolled back against him and your mouth fell open. “Gon’ fill your cute lil pussy up, make you walk around with me runnin’ down your legs.”

“Pl-please!” You squeaked. You wanted it so badly. Walking around with his cum seeping out of you made you feel claimed. Like you belonged to him. 

“Yeah?” He was growing breathless, fucked out, “that what you want? For me t’ stuff you full of me?”

But you could barely answer because he was hitting your spot just right, and you knew you were going to fall apart again. All you could do was tremble pathetically in his arms. 

He shoved his fingers into your mouth, and you closed your lips around then, mouthing at the digits, using them to muffle your too-loud cries. Rhett’s moans in your ear made your head spin. Low at first, but growing in pitch until they were almost whimpers. 

His mouth was open against your ear, breath hot and heavy. But you were distracted by the swell of his cock within you. Before you even realized what was happening, your third and final orgasm washed over you. It felt like your veins were filled with fizzy champagne. Deliciously warm, almost comforting, as it surged through you. 

You whined deep within your chest, going limp in his arms as you reveled in ecstasy. A sleepy smile graced your features as you heard him gasp sharply, and seconds later, you could feel it. Warmth blossoming within you, seeping out around the edges, painting everything milky white. 

“Tha-thank yo…uuuu,” you babbled, eyes rolling back as he gave you everything he had to give. 

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he sighed, as you went limp in his arms. His own thighs were quaking, muscles fatigued from his ride, and from fucking you, but he remained steady as he caught your exhausted form. 

Slowly, he eased his softening cock out of you, and you hissed softly at the feeling, knowing you were going to be sore later. But he was there to soothe you, loving fingers cupping your soaked pussy, applying gentle pressure. 

“Here,” he hummed, pulling back to turn you gently. He hitched your leg over his hip as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the packet of wipes he’d used earlier. He was careful to wipe you clean as best as he could, in the dark lighting, and the awkward angle. 

“I’ll finish cleanin’ you up at home, alright baby?” He promised. Sleepily, you nodded. With a soft smile, he kissed your nose. “Did so good f’r me.”

You giggled, almost loopy. “Love you,” you slurred. 

He reached up to lovingly stroke your cheek. “Love you too, sweet thing.”

He helped get you looking presentable again, pulling your dress back to where it belonged, wiping the tears you hadn’t even realized you’d shed from your cheeks. “C’mon, let’s get home.”

He quickly pulled his jeans back up and buckled his belt before he bent and grabbed his hat, which you hadn’t even realized had fallen to the dusty earth. Then, a brawny arm was secured around your waist as he guided you out of the shadows. He checked to make sure the coast was clear, and after he was certain it was safe, the two of you made your way across the lot, to the place where his truck was parked. 

Your legs were unsteady the entire way, so he had to hold you upright. You couldn’t help but laugh at yourselves. You felt like a couple of teenagers, sneaking around. In a way, it was exhilarating. 

“You’re walkin’ like a baby deer,” Rhett teased as he led you to the passenger side of his truck. 

“That’s your fault, sir,” you teased right back, jabbing your finger into his chest. “Acting like a sex-starved maniac.”

He grinned before he tipped his hat up and leaned down to kiss you. “Can’t help it. Get so pent up after a good ride. S’the worst when I’m outta town and you ain’t with me. Feel like I’m gon’ combust.”

“Good thing I was with you tonight then, huh?” You said with a good-natured smile. 

He tapped your nose playfully. “Get in the truck, chickadee.”

With a mock salute, you climbed inside, and once you were settled, he shut the door behind you and came around to his side, climbing in and starting the engine. 

You snuggled against his side the entire ride home, feeling rather sleepy after the events of the night. In fact, you managed to fall asleep for the remainder of the drive, waking only when he came to a stop in your driveway. 

“C’mon now, sleepy girl. Let’s getcha inside so I can clean you up proper.”

He coaxed you out of the truck, and you held his hand as he led you up the porch steps and into the house. You let him take the reins, because you were much too drowsy to be of much help. He took you upstairs, and there, you climbed into the shower together. 

The water made you somewhat more alert, and as he began to rinse you down, you stayed his hands. “Wanna take care of you too,” you said. 

So, you took the time to tenderly scrub him down as well, wanting to show him love. You spent a long while tending to each other, relishing in the closeness, the intimacy. Both of you enjoyed aftercare immensely, even more than the sex act itself at times. It was a way to show reverence and appreciation to the other. 

“You’re so good t’ me, baby,” Rhett lulled, and you hummed at his praise, kissing at his chest. 

“You deserve it,” came your reply. 

He hugged you close before he finally shut off the water. He leaned out of the shower to open the towel warmer you kept nearby. A device that he’d scoffed at in the beginning, claiming it was a ridiculous and frivolous waste of money. But he had to admit, he loved the thing. There was nothing better than getting out of the shower and wrapping up in a nice, warm towel. 

He wrapped you in yours before he grabbed his own. Together, you set about completing your evening routine. Rhett helped massage lotion into your skin, and you did the same to him. 

A little while later, all cozy in clean pajamas, you found yourselves sitting cross-legged on the bedroom floor, close enough that your knees were touching. A pint of chocolate ice cream sat between you both. 

“How does it feel to be king of the rodeo?” You asked with a smile. 

He shook his head. “You’re speakin’ too highly of me.”

“It’s true. You’re making a name for yourself, Rhett. Nobody even refers to you as ‘Royal Abbott’s son’ anymore. They see you. Rhett Abbott, Pro Bull Rider.”

Rhett’s eyes glimmered as he sucked a scoop of ice cream from his spoon. “It feels damn good. But like I said earlier, there’s no me without you. I’m where I am because you pushed me to be better. You showed me life was worth livin’. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

You tried to protest, but he shook his head. “You’re my saving grace, darlin’. Always have been, always will be.”

You couldn’t help the tears that welled in your eyes. Leaning forward, you stole a sweet kiss, too verklempt to utter a verbal reply. You loved that he could go from rough and tumble to tender and loving just like that. As if he hadn’t just taken you within an inch of your life at the very public rodeo grounds. 

He was back to being your soft, gentle cowboy whose heart was often too big to fit in his own chest. But what he couldn’t fit within his rib cage, you held delicately in your hands, promising never to break it. 

“I love you,” you spoke for what felt like the hundredth time that night. But you’d say it a hundred more without thinking twice about it. 

“I love you more, chickadee.”

“I love you most.”

-

taglist:

@withahappyrefrain @rhettabbotts @up-thereinthesky @oldfangirl30 @peachystenbrough @attapullman @sebsxphia @delopsia @damrlova @hangmanapologist @lovinglyeternal @laracrofted @callsignspark @bobfloydsbabe @bobgasm @bradshawsbaby @nobody7102 @milesmillergf @idontcare-11 @yanna-banana @floydsglasses @whisperofsong @floydsmuse @happyrebelruins @seitmai-too @just-in-case-iloveyou

[lie-lacdreams]

Some headcanons in Thermo & Turmoil so far (for Curly and the reader)

Because I just inserted hella headcanons into the plot and feel an urge to explain all of them and then some more lol

(Before I begin I would like to start off by mentioning that I'm a bit clueless when it comes to using Tumblr so please forgive me let me be incompetent and ignorant in peace)

In this story, reader is in her mid to late twenties, like 26-28 years old. Curly is in his early to mid thirties (33-35), which means he joined Pony Express likely fresh out of college or trade school

Reader is a chemical engineering graduate student, specializing in green synthesis and catalysis. What this all means is that she has a particular interest in sustainability and organic chemistry

The way her morals and ethics left her body after getting accepted to work at Pony Express, a shady company with not the best green practices (she was desperate to find a job, okay?)

one last related thing - the timeline of when things happen in the game vs. in this story aren't very well-aligned. I'm going off of my own timeline for plot reasons

Okay, now on to more fun and general headcanons I have for Curly ~

I subscribe to the common belief that Curly is a big romantic. How could he not be??? He tried to seek out relationships throughout his twenties but remained unsuccessful to find someone who would stay with him through the crazy structure of his occupation. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who you couldn't see or communicate with for months to a year at a time. I absolutely get it

It all makes sense because he's absolutely married to his work. He's kind of come to terms that he can't have a long-term romantic relationship and a career as a freighter ship captain. Those two things simply don't go together well

At this age, Curly has reached the peak of his career - and when he comes back from another successful trip, he has quite a bit of monetary compensation waiting for him in his paycheck

Single and childless, he's financially comfortable - he has his savings but he also will pay the bill for his friends and family 8/10 times (would he fight for the bill? Of course not, he gave his card to the waiter halfway through the meal to pay)

He doesn't feel bitter about his lifestyle. He chose it, after all. Sure, he sometimes wishes that he had stability on Earth and a family of his own to go back to, but he loves living vicariously through his friends and that to him is enough for now. Every wedding, baby shower, friend's child's birthday party - if he's off the clock, he will absolutely be there and having the time of his life

Speaking of children, he would love to have some of his own someday, but as a single man who spends most of his time in a big metal box suspended in zero gravity, he doesn't know how to interact with them and is kind of awkward

He's very open minded to different cultures and new experiences.

Curly has been to a few Indian weddings where his friends would drag him out to the dance floor and make him learn Bhangra. He's jumping along like the rest of them, moving his arms animatedly to the beat of the music

like okay this white boy can dance! The crowd is so entertained

he's not a picky eater and would eat nearly anything. When he visited Thailand, the locals tricked him into trying balut (fertilized duck egg) and when he didn't react and mentioned that he didn't mind the texture that much, it left them confused and a little pleased

he sleeps warm and can't tolerate humid weather. Going to Thailand nearly ended him

He's so community-minded. This is why I could envision him with so many 1st/2nd gen immigrant friends. Man just gets it

This is also why the Chinese restaurant near where he lives loves him. The owner loves to use him as a role model for his son

You know that one family friend growing up that was stacked with accolades that your parents would compare you to? (or maybe that's just my own experience...) That is Curly for this poor little boy.

He's actually such a people pleaser, but hides it so well under being such a confident authority figure, so it just comes off as helpful and supportive instead

He loves when people go to him for advice. He may or may not have the experience to give the advice, but regardless he will try his best to come up with a solution

[kylieswift31]

Taylor Swift and the Truman show

"Well, for me, there is no difference between a private life and a public life. My life... is my life, is the Truman show."

Tied together with a smile

Taylor is currently at the peak of her career as she's now breaking her own records and reaching a level of fame only seen by the greatest such as the Beatles and Michael Jackson. Yet underneath all that success is a layer of conflict due to the discrepancies between her private and public life. With closer inspection it is clear to see that Taylor has left a trail of breadcrumbs that reveal that she has been queer since the beginning of her career. The ‘love struck and boy crazy’ version we first saw of Taylor was supposed to be a temporary step in her career during the fearless era, but through a series of unfortunate events she has spent the entirety of her career in the closet.

Now with the ending of the rerecords and eras tour in sight, Taylor has begun to reveal the cracks in the facade of her public persona so that we can see who she really is underneath. Her performance of 'delicate' on the eras tour is a visual representation of this process. Throughout the song we slowly see cracks forming in the glass, one at a time until at last there are so many cracks the entire stage shatters into a million tiny little pieces.

But what causes the cracks?

Taylor.

And it’s all inspired by the Truman show…

Daily life

In the mirror

The first time you watch the Truman show, the focus is on Truman and his journey. He lives a normal life in Seahaven with his wife Meryl, has a successful career in finance and spends his free time with his best friend Marlon. There are small cracks in the facade of his picture perfect life from the beginning, but halfway through we reach a turning point as it becomes clear that Truman is also the star of a 24 hour reality TV show that broadcasts his life to the public without his knowledge. Every move he makes is being observed by the outside. And then when you get to the end of the movie you start to realise that not everything you saw was as it seems.

Taylor has several well known Easter eggs that reference the Truman show, but with further investigation we can discover that she also relates to his story on a personal level. In the song 'mirrorball' Taylor explores the theme of wearing a mask that reflects back what the viewer wants or chooses to see. Just like an iceberg, if we stop at the surface level of what we see of Taylor’s personal life, we’ll miss the depth of what lies underneath. Many of her music videos echo Truman's story in a way that leaves her truth hiding in plain sight.

Good neighbours

Truman’s day starts with a moment of quiet reflection as he gazes at himself in the mirror before greeting his neighbours on his way to work. “Good morning! And incase I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night!” His iconic catchphrase is repeated each day. Even though Truman’s the only person in Seahaven who isn’t a paid actor, he’s having the same scripted interactions day after day. His life is centred around acting the part, just like everyone else. The only difference is that he’s wearing a mask to hide how he really feels underneath. Truman's day is very reminiscent of the groundhog day trope to highlight how scripted and repetitive his life has become.

Taylor's life in the public is very similar to Truman's now that she can't go anywhere without being recognised. The once unfiltered teen that was vocal on myspace has become selective and restrained with what she shares online after years of having her life picked apart for all to see. The chasm between Taylor's public and private life has grown to the point where removing the pop star mask will impact her career.

Product placement

The Truman show is sustained through the revenue generated from the products advertised on the show. The first time we meet Truman's wife Meryl is when she's showing him the latest gadget she's picked up from the store on her way home from work. This feels subtle at first, but as more products are mentioned throughout the show it becomes more obvious and the advertising feels more akin to a late night shopping channel. We start to see that everything from the decor, wardrobe and food they eat is for sale. Every aspect of Truman's life has become commodified to generate revenue and to keep the show running.

All the little Easter eggs throughout Taylor's 'lover' music video seem like personalised advertisements now that we’ve seen that they advertise memorabilia on the Truman show in a similar way. However, within her career marketing is an integral facet of Taylor's career. "When you realise the rules of the game you're playing and how it will affect you, you got to look at the board and make your strategy. But at the same time, writing songs has never been a strategic element of my career. But I'm not scared to say that other things in my career, like how to market an album, are strictly strategic."

Hidden in plain sight

It's not obvious at first that Truman and Marlon have found a way to communicate with each other honestly whilst remaining undetected. Truman is often sharing his plans of going to Fiji to get away for a while. However, when he's really planning to leave Truman says "Just between you and me Marlon, I'm going away for a while." This allows the viewer to believe that it's just another wishful thought about going to Fiji, but said in a way that lets Marlon know that he is serious this time. Beer seems to be both another advertisement and a signal to indicate that he's been sent by the director. "It's all true. It's all real. Nothing here is fake. Nothing you see on the show is fake. It's merely controlled." Later on when we're shown that the director is feeding Marlon his lines, it's clear that he has always tried to be as honest as possible with Truman.

Taylor mentions wine frequently through her discography. Perhaps this is to show us that her truth has become so watered down within her lyrics that she lost sight of who she was before. Taylor has changed up pronouns and added hidden meaning to words and phrases mentioned frequently throughout her discography. Through this process she has become incredibly skilled at seamlessly adding connections to multiple muses within a song.

The first crack in the glass

Everything changed

From what we can see, Truman has known from the beginning that he's been the central character within his town to some degree. Truman appears to be fairly content with the life he had created for himself, despite the confinement he felt (he hasn't known any different). This all came to an end when Truman realises that his father is still alive. This changes everything as the first cracks in the facade of his seemingly perfect life become visible.

Intercepted

A very similar experience happens with Taylor in the 'delicate' music video. We can see that this interaction leaves Taylor more aware of those around her. "People often greatly underestimate me on how much I'll inconvenience myself to prove a point…" In her real life there are several events we could attribute to being her motive for change including the sale of her masters (ownership of her first six albums) to investors, a relationship changing or something that affected her reasons for remaining closeted.

Chance of rain

We see Truman sitting at the beach reflecting on how his father drowned when he was a child. As it starts raining he gets up to leave, only to reveal that there's just enough rain to encourage him to get up and go home. We slowly start to see how manufactured these scenarios are. Throughout Truman's week there are planned situations that are designed to test for any changes in his behaviour, like if he's still petrified of the water. These actions reveal just how much pressure they've placed on Truman to prevent him from leaving. It leaves us asking how much free will does he truly have with his choice to stay or go? At this point it feels like the choice has been made for him.

Taylor recreates this rain scene in the 'lavender haze' music video. We see her sitting at the end of the bed with a rain cloud over her head while her lover is asleep. We can infer that Taylor is showing us that she identifies with how isolated Truman was feeling in this moment. Taylor has given up a lot in her personal life for the success of her career, but how much of that was her choice to do so?

Reflecting on the past

Truman goes back home and opens up a trunk full of childhood memories. He's looking at photos of his family while trying to make sense of what he saw with his father still being alive, and the implications of that. This is the beginning of Truman questioning how far those in his life have gone to keep up this lie. If his father is still alive then what else have they lied about?

In the 'cardigan' music video we can see that Taylor is reflecting on her past in a similar way, but this time through playing her piano. Both 'the tortured poets department' album and summation reveal a similar theme of reflection, but with an honest exploration of the agony that comes along with it. "Nostalgia is a mind's trick." This album is a reflection of her career, highlighting the toll it's taken on her personal life along the way.

The one that got away

Love triangles

As Truman pulls out a red cardigan from a plastic bag, we get flashbacks of his high school years. His attention is torn between Sylvia and his current wife, Meryl. During a moment alone with Sylvia they sneak away together, but she appears anxious knowing they don't have much time alone. They share a chaste kiss before Lauren gets dragged away by a man claiming to be her father. She hastily reveals that everything Truman knows about his life is a lie, that it's all done for him and that everyone is watching him. Her father claims that she is just having an episode and reassures Truman by saying that he's taking her to Fiji to receive more help. Sylvia's interaction with Truman is the catalyst for her character being removed from the show. This reveals that even in high school Truman's love interest was planned out for him, despite his attraction to Sylvia.

Taylor wistfully talks about the fictional teenage love triangle during the 'folkmore' set. She describes how James is longing for the one that got away, which seems to contain an element of truth from her past. In 'imgonnagetyouback' she talks about how she won't stop fighting until they're back together again. I tend to lean more museless, with the queer side of Taylor being the one she's fighting for most of all (and with any other muses being secondary to that). If we consider the love triangle from that perspective we can see that the muse she lost was a cherished piece of her history, but the part of herself she lost along the way is the one worth risking everything for to be able to feel whole again.

It's all in the details

Through the development of Sylvia's character we start to see the significance of the colour red. To the viewers at home it is a symbol of heartbreak and loss, and that Truman's attachment to the cardigan is based on his feelings for her. But for Truman we can assume that it is more like a symbol of hope that he might finally be free one day. Other symbols we see her wear include a red seahorse pin (their school mascot) a green bauble bracelet and the 'how's it going to end?' badge. When he reads the badge in the library he quietly admits that he's been wondering that too. This is the earliest insight we witness of Truman not being fulfilled by the life that has been scripted for him.

Many of Taylor's Easter eggs are a reference to the Truman show. These include Sylvia's rose shirt, the eras tour poster, 'karma' door, the song 'how did it end?' and many of her music videos. In the 'lover' music video there's also the bauble earrings, her lover has a seahorse patch on his jacket and the board games are Taylor Swift themed. These all seem like amusing connections until you pick up on the deeper correlations to Truman's story.

Cardigan

After Sylvia left, all Truman is left with is her red cardigan. Sylvia begs Truman to come and find her, but as the flashback ends we find out that Truman didn't follow her to Fiji at the time because his mother got really sick. Instead he settled down and married Meryl, while living with the loss of what could've been with Sylvia. After Truman finishes reminiscing about the past, he slyly reveals that the badge is still pinned onto the cardigan. This reveals that his attachment is not so much to Sylvia now, but to the idea of leaving one day so that he can be free to live his life authentically.

Taylor's song 'cardigan' is one of her most significant references to Truman's story. In the 'cardigan' and 'willow' music video we can see that it is a symbol of the memories she carries from her past and a reminder of what she's left behind along the way. The stars on the cardigan hold a similar sense of hope, just like Truman's pin. "You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin' 'cause I knew you." This imagery evokes the pain of carving into skin to emphasise the heaviness that comes with sitting with the memory of what could have been.

The bar

After Truman's flashback scene we get a glimpse of commentary from a bar as they're watching the show. This juxtaposition reveals how watching the Truman show is an ordinary occurrence during their daily lives, just like many of us tune in to watch the eras tour on a grainy live stream. The 'delicate' music video ends with Taylor walking into a very similar bar to meet up with a secret admirer, but it remains unclear which one is sitting there waiting for her.

Cracks in the facade

The one worth fighting for

Once the nostalgic moment is over we see Truman holding a photo frame of his wife Meryl. It seems like a loving gesture at first, until he turns it around and opens it up to reveal that he's been collecting a collage of facial features in an attempt to recreate a portrait of Sylvia from memory. This contrast between the memory and Truman's reality exposes how much he has sacrificed along the way by staying in Seahaven. Holding onto the cardigan, pin and picture of Sylvia is an act of defiance when everything else in his life has been decided for him.

Taylor left everything behind when she left her old label, including the ownership of her first six albums. She was not given the option of buying them back without having to commit to producing another album for each one she earned back. Unfortunately this is something many in the industry have had to endure. With hindsight we now know that Taylor was able to rerecord her past albums with added vault tracks, but at the cost of reliving her past. Taylor's back tattoo in the 'you need to calm down' music video conveys that the memory of her life's work was the only memento from her past that she was able to take with her.

Glitches

As Truman is driving to work again, his car radio starts glitching and he ends up on a channel that contains the directions everyone else is hearing in preparation for his arrival before work. From our point of view all of these mishaps are new, but there would have been flaws like this in the system a lot longer than that. But if Truman has known he was the star of the show from the beginning, what was the point of the movie? To reveal the truth to us, and the viewers at home, slowly over time. And to give us a chance to understand his point of view as we prepare for his departure.

We have seen plenty of glitches like this occurring in Taylor's performances on the eras tour, and many of these have been intentional (such as the screens glitching and swallowing bugs). This draws our attention to the cracks in her pop star facade, revealing glimpses of the person she is underneath. And just like Truman, she's giving us the opportunity to slowly adjust to the changes she plans to make in the lead up of what's to come.

Breaking down

Truman appears to be overwhelmed as he starts to reveal just how much of the town he lives in is choreographed around him. This is the start of Truman escalating his reactions to create more cracks in the facade, in the hopes that more viewers begin to see the challenges he faces living in the spotlight.

This purposeful increase in revealing more of the inner versions of themselves is exactly what Taylor is portraying during the 'delicate'' performance on the eras tour. Slowly allowing us to see them as normal people behind the larger than life character they had become in the spotlight. The way Taylor begins creating the cracks on purpose allows us to understand that what's to come is purposely being exposed.

Life's a stage

Truman attempts to enter an elevator, only to discover that it's fake. This is a big step towards seeing what's behind the magician's curtain the first time you watch the movie. When you watch it again this is the point where you start to discover how complex the set of Seahaven has become over time to keep the show running. Many elements of the town act as rest stops and exit points for the actors away from Truman's view.

Taylor pushes down the walls of the bedroom during the 'lavender haze' music video, revealing that the relationship had always been a facade to begin with. Interestingly, this is the only music video that we see begin after the clock ticks over to midnight. Just like Cinderella returns to her original state at midnight, so too does Taylor. This correlation to Cinderella's story implies that the lavender haze we see hidden beyond the walls of the bedroom is the most honest version of Taylor underneath everything else. Lavender is heavily used as a subtle reference by queer people, especially lesbians. Koi fish can be seen in all of the 'midnights' music videos except for 'karma'. They are well known for swimming against the stream, something many neurodivergent people experience feeling. Koi fish are often associated with the yin and yang symbol and together they symbolise balance, courage and perseverance, much like the song 'you're on your own kid'.

Turn up the heat

Invisible

As he seeks out his best friend Marlon for help, we learn that Truman feels concerned that he is being followed or set up for something. Marlon appears calm until Truman mentions that his father is still alive. It appears that this detail may not have been disclosed to the public. Truman demonstrates that everyone in the store is so preoccupied with fulfilling their roles that they will ignore him at all costs. This is a very unnatural reaction and wouldn't be a new discovery for Truman.

The bodyguards in the 'delicate' music video react in a similar way, just like the guards at Buckingham palace are trained to stay focused and ignore distractions. On an emotional level, this behaviour feels like no one is interested in you unless you're wearing the mask of who they expect you to be. "The actors were hitting their marks." Many neurodivergent people experience this disparity between who they are on the inside and the curated version they present for others to see. This act of reflecting back what the viewer wants to see is often done out of necessity to remain safe, but leaves the inner and truest version of oneself feeling invisible. "I want you to know I'm a mirrorball. I'll show you every version of yourself tonight." Unfortunately, you have to participate in their performance if you want to be seen, but the version you they see isn't who you truly are on the inside.

Just for you

After an evening together, Truman is left alone when Meryl offers to take his mother home. As the TV is playing in the background we hear how the presenter is incredibly specific when describing the next episode of 'show me the way to go home'. "Where we learn that you don't have to leave home to discover what the world's all about. And that no one is poor, who has friends." This is a form of subliminal messaging telling Truman that he's better off staying home, implying that there's no point trying to leave because they will prevent him every step of the way.

In the 'lavender have' music video Taylor is watching a similar weather station, but when she gets closer she pulls the screen apart to reveal that there's nothing but space and koi fish behind it. This likeness to Truman's story presents an intriguing insight into the obstacles and road blocks Taylor has faced as a queer woman throughout her career. The koi fish behind the screen also highlight Taylor's determination to challenge the status quo and how she has been working towards much needed change within the music industry.

I do not

Truman is flipping through a photo album full of photos of his family and life with Meryl. His mother stresses her desire for grandkids while she's still alive. Truman continues to look through the album after they leave. The final straw for their relationship comes when he reveals that Meryl had her fingers crossed when they got married, implying she was never fully committed from the beginning. Looking through the photo albums seems to be a weekly routine when his mother visits, so we can assume this wasn't the first time Truman's noticed this detail, the only difference is that he's pointing it out now because it's the next step in his plan to leave Seahaven.

Many of Taylor's music videos emphasise the facade she has played into of the life society expects her to maintain. This has become more evident than ever with her current relationship with Travis Kelce. They want her to fulfil the 1950's lifestyle as a happily married wife with two children, a house with a white picket fence, to stay home each day as a housewife and to serve her husband when he gets home from a long day at the office. 'The man' music video highlights the disparity between these expectations and the lifestyle men are usually celebrated for, so that we can understand that this isn't the life she wants for herself.

Undressed

After Truman attempts to confront his wife about the photo, he follows her to work in his pyjamas. She works at the hospital and claimed to be doing a leg amputation from the elevator incident, a story they made up to explain what he saw the day before. When he locates her within the hospital the actors are forced to begin the procedure to keep up appearances.

Taylor was wearing a corset with a pattern very similar to Truman's pyjamas underneath her blue dress recently while out with Travis Kelce and his friends. Everyone in the group was wearing matching pant and shirt sets, with Brittany Mahomes in actual pyjamas. This may have been a hint that Taylor's beginning to escalate the cracks in the facade of her pop star persona.

The failed escape

Predictable

Truman is sitting in his car when Meryl gets home from working at the hospital. When she gets in, he locks her in the car and attempts to leave town. "Blocked at every turn. Beautifully synchronised, don't you agree?" This is the point where he's revealing that he knows how predictable everyone around him has been, pointing out that the same three people keep going past on schedule.

Logically if Taylor knew what the roadblocks were before she left her old record label, she would have known how her opponents would retaliate after she left. "Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll." It seems likely that they were planning to sabotage her once she left, with her first album in particular. If they were predictable enough, Taylor could've had time to plan ahead to mitigate the damage done to her career. This could include holding back on releasing certain songs, which has now lead to the rumours of 'lover' vault tracks.

Just like clockwork

Truman begins to drive around the round about over and over again to highlight that he has figured out that the townspeople move around him like clockwork, but again this isn't new information to Truman. The director's attempts to prevent him from leaving are incredibly predictable and they always have been. Truman would have been able to pick up on this pattern when he was still in high school, if not earlier. "When you're young they assume you know nothing." The benefit of them being this predictable is that Truman could foresee their reactions and blindside them when they least expected it.

Taylor uses many clocks throughout her music videos as easter eggs and to draw our attention to time and dates that might be relevant in the future. One element of interest is the concept of routine and the predictability that comes with that. The arena in 'the hunger games catching fire' seems to be inspired by the Truman show as well. Katniss figured out that there are new threats in each segment that changed on the hour, ending with a lightning strike at noon and midnight. This kind of predictability allows one to plan in advance. Three years perhaps?

Planned to fail

After driving around in circles Truman claims that they're headed to Atlantic City, only to find out that the end of their street is blocked up with traffic. He concedes to going back home after all, just to announce suddenly that he has changed his mind. As Truman doubles back and attempts to leave for the second time, he discovers that the traffic jam had magically cleared up after they left. He was accurate in predicting that his plan to leave would be counteracted by some form of intervention. Truman's actions are forcing the director to reveal his hand, only to call his bluff and get further than the director expected him to. And despite her fear, Meryl is still putting on a performance for the camera here too.

It's a possibility that Taylor set up a similar scenario to unfold with the release of her 'lover' album. The contrast between the aesthetic and themes of the 'reputation' and 'lover' albums could have been done on purpose to blur the lines between the two in an attempt to mitigate the damage done from being sabotaged. Underneath the vindictive theme of 'reputation' was the romantic songs her opponents had been anticipating from the 'lover' album.

The bridge

Truman stalls at the bridge due to his fear of water but forces Meryl to drive across while his eyes are closed, willing to do whatever it takes to leave. "We're over the bridge!" he exclaims when they make it across. As Truman continues to escape, they are still faced with roadblock after roadblock. The escape plan eventually fails when the road is blocked because of a leak at the nuclear plant. They thank the officer for his help but when the officer says "you're welcome, Truman" he runs away from the car in a panic, but is quickly captured and returned home again.

Taylor draws attention to the bridges of her songs at the very beginning of the eras tour because they are the most authentic lyrics in all of her discography. She often begins a song with a very optimistic perspective, only to end with the most brutally honest observations of her experiences in hindsight. Taylor has told us that she tells lies. In 'love story' the lie is that she's singing about being in love with Romeo. When the perspective changes during the bridge, she's being honest when she describes being in love with Juliet and wanting to marry her. In 'lavender haze' we hear how stifling it's become to continue hiding her truth. "The only girl they see is a one night or a wife. I find it dizzying, they're bringin' up my history. But you aren't even listening." If we don't listen to what Taylor is saying during the bridges, we are avoiding her truth.

The turning point

What was once lost

When they return home Truman confronts Meryl, but she calls out for help and Marlon arrives with beer. Meryl leaps into his arms crying as he comforts her, but he's looking at Truman when he says "everything's going to be okay, it's all going to be fine." The next scene cuts to Truman and Marlon sitting at the end of an unfinished bridge together as Truman begins to tell Marlon what he's been through. "Maybe I'm losing my mind, but it feels like the whole world revolves around me somehow." Marlon replies by saying "The last thing that I would ever do is lie to you. I mean, think about it Truman. If everybody is in on it... I'd have to be in on it, too." The screen cuts to the director feeding him the lines but we can also see that Marlon has been as honest as he could be within his role on the show. To placate Truman and encourage him to stay, he is reunited with his father who he hasn’t seen for 22 years. Truman seems apprehensive about the reunion, but Marlon encourages him to go along with it.

In the 'willow' music video Taylor enters a glass display case and starts performing for the crowd of an old fashioned circus. As her lover approaches for the first time they reunite through the glass pane but it feels like the glass was intentional to keep them apart, despite their intentions to be together again. This imagery is echoed over and over again throughout Taylor's music videos and the eras tour. We can interpret this as a visual representation of being closeted in plain sight or as a form of protecting something that's delicate. Judging by the way they all end up shattered in the end, they seem to be foretelling what's still to come.

Test run

Truman was never really planning on leaving the first time because he had planned to fail. There are a few benefits of acting in this way. Firstly, we know that Truman had never crossed the bridge before and his attempt forced the director to play his hand by revealing what obstacles were ahead if this was his exit route. Enacting his bigger plan before seeing what was ahead would mean that he's more likely to fail if he crosses the bridge while under prepared for what is on the other side. Secondly, if everyone has assumed that he has failed, they won't see his bigger plan coming if they believe he's feeling defeated. They placated Truman by reuniting him with his father, but that backfired on them when he escaped when they least expected it.

Taylor mentions that "Every bait and switch was a work of art" in 'mastermind'. I wasn't sure if I was using this term correctly when search results were full of business examples and psychologists were linking it with the act of gaslighting, but the type of bait and switch I was intrigued by is akin to a chess move. This type of move is often referred to as the 'queen sacrifice'. By purposely leaving the queen unguarded, your opponent is lured into the trap, only to be met with a devastating counter attack. This, and the element of a trial run before the big reveal, is what lead me to consider that the 'lover' album may have been used as bait for the sale of her masters. If she alluded to coming out straight away to entice the sale that was going to happen anyway, that obstacle wouldn't get in the way of her bigger plan. (It is not my intention to imply that this theory is true, so this is just a hypothetical option in favour of the bigger picture.) If this was a prelude for a bigger plan, it still would have been extremely devastating when it did happen.

The show must go on

This is the turning point in the movie when we begin to see Truman's life from the directors point of view. "An entire human life recorded on an intricate network of hidden cameras, and broadcast live and unedited 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to an audience around the globe." We start to find out how they had to manufacture ways to keep Truman on the island. His father dying played a big part of that, but to the viewers it's just another plot twist in the show they've been watching for entertainment. They have 5,000 cameras around Seahaven now, but started off with just one before he was born and they've been watching Truman's life unfold ever since. "We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented." This is the director's response as to why Truman has never left Seahaven or found out about the show. This contradicts everything we've seen from Truman's point of view. Just because he could leave doesn't mean he could leave freely. How much harder does he have to try before the director will let him go? He goes on to explain that with Meryl's decision to leave the show, a new love interest will be introduced and he has hopes for the first on air conception to occur. It's evident that Truman leaving would derail the directors plans for the show going forward.

Taylor has described how writing a song is like sucking the snake venom out of a bite. Expressing herself creates distance between the heaviness of what she's experienced and I believe this is why she sees herself as the narrator (or director) of her discography at times. During the 'folkmore' set on the eras tour she describes herself as the narrator of the teenage love triangle. It's also common for Taylor to be more than one character at once. At the end of 'the man' music video we discover Taylor is the director, and then it's revealed that Taylor was also the male actor that had been wearing a disguise. This implies that Taylor is James in the love triangle and based on the evolution of her speech, we can infer that as the director she chose Betty in the end. This feels like a clue that we should consider that she has been showing us her version of events from different perspectives all along.

The doll house

Everything on the show is for sale, including their wardrobe, food products and dollhouse style versions of the homes they live in. These elements are jarring after seeing the level of animosity Truman was experiencing with each road block he faced. It feels like they've overstepped a boundary by consuming every detail of Truman's life.

In the 'lover' music video, we first see the lover house is within a snow globe and our first shot of Taylor is through the peephole. The couple dancing throughout the house seem to be sharing a romantic moment, but the entire experience feels voyeuristic. No rooms are off limits as we see them in the bathroom swimming inside of a fish bowl. "Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, forever and ever?" plays at the same time. It feels like we're asking that of her. It becomes uncomfortable to realise how much we want to have access to every detail of her life.

Back to normal

Headquarters

Not only is Seahaven contained within a dome, the director and his control centre is housed within the moon structure. From the interview with the director we can ascertain that he doesn't usually reveal this much behind the scenes, but the return of Truman's father required some damage control.

The vault in the 'I can see you' music video is reminiscent of the moon shaped structure the director worked out of. The connection between these and the overall theme of the music video reminds me of the scene in 'the hunger games mockingjay' where they rescue Peeta from the capitol, only to find out he was trained to attack Katniss. This scene has an eerily similar asylum vibe like the 'fortnight' music video as well.

The mask

The next morning we go back to Truman in the bathroom again, as if he's just started another regular day. He seems cheerful as he's using a bar of soap to draw an alien outline on the mirror, while at the same time implying that he feels alienated in real life. This facade of normalcy he is presenting after his plan had failed is on purpose to lull the director into a false sense of security. If everyone thinks he has given up and believes he is resigned to staying after all, nobody would see his final escape plan coming.

Just like Taylor showed us with the visuals of the delicate performance on the eras tour, the mask is breakable. Now that we know that Taylor is the one breaking down the facade herself, it becomes harmful to refuse to see Taylor for who she really is underneath the pop star persona. And just like with Truman leaving in the end, Taylor has shown us that she's choosing herself now, regardless of the consequences. So we can either choose to join her, or sit back in defiance until she walks away.

Back to work

As Truman returns to the office it becomes more obvious where all of the cameras have been hidden in plain sight. They're everywhere, including inside his pencil sharpener. But the least obvious camera is the one Truman is wearing, his wedding ring. This came from his father, something he purposely gave to Truman as he was supposedly drowning. He never took it off because it was a reminder of what he had lost at such a young age. Truman was able to escape in the end because he took the ring off and left it behind. They had no way of tracking him if he wasn't wearing it. In hindsight we can see that Meryl's necklace also contained a camera that was used frequently.

If all of the moon and black holes references are a codeword for cameras or surveillance in the Truman show, we can consider that Taylor has used them in her music videos in a similar way. 'The man' music video begins with a similar office scene with a man who is charming and magnetic, but the wink at the camera implies that he's also putting on a performance. At the end of a work call Truman mentions that "life is fragile" after he's introduced to his new love interest. Just like Truman's comment, Taylor has used the word delicate to to describe the fine line between the brittle nature of the facade and how easily it could all fall apart, like what occurs during the 'delicate' performance.

This place is mine

After Meryl left, Truman moved down to the basement. This is the only room in the house that contained anything that was truly personal to Truman with his padlocked chest of mementos and remnants of old hobbies. But on top of all this it was also the room with the least amount of cameras, making it the perfect place to hide.

In the 'lover' music video the only space that is personal to Taylor is the attic, and it’s just like Truman's basement as both rooms are typically used for storage. If you look closely you can see a familiar trunk to the side as she's reminiscing over old pictures on a projector. On the eras tour the only real piece of the lover house is the attic seen throughout the 'folkmore' set, the rest was burnt away on screen and ever since the setlist changed it has been falling over instead. This change reveals that it was a facade all along, similar to how we begin to see behind the scenes half way through the Truman show.

The escape route

The map

Truman's desire to travel to Fiji is heavily featured as Truman's motivation for leaving Seahaven. There's evidence of this throughout the basement, including a large map of the island. Was this really his dream destination? No. Talking about going to Fiji encouraged the director to reveal his endeavours to prevent him from leaving. If Truman was constantly being challenged with his fear of the water, he was also being exposed to potential exit routes and obstacles. Truman's desires to go to Fiji was a facade to masquerade his true intentions of plotting his escape without raising suspicions.

One of Taylor's latest songs explores wanting to escape to 'Florida!' and reflects Truman's dreams of moving to Fiji. Another map Taylor has shown us in her music videos is the man wall. It's seen as a road map for her future rerecords with the end goal of coming out as queer, similar to what Elton John did at the peak of his career. Now that we can see that Truman revealed his dreams to travel as a means of testing his opponent, we can begin to understand that Taylor may have used her attempts to come out as queer in a similar way. If Taylor had expressed her intentions to come out of the closet behind the scenes, she would have been reminded of the challenges she would face if she did so. We see a small portion of this scenario play out with political discussions during the 'Miss Americana' documentary.

Behind the curtain

The director is concerned about Truman being asleep in the basement so Marlon is sent to investigate. When he arrives he finds a decoy in the bed and a tape recorder of Truman snoring. As he searches the rest of the basement, he pulls back the map to reveal what's inside the closet. This is the moment everyone discovers that Truman has escaped and that the map of Fiji was a disguise for his master plan all along.

The man wall is the most fundamental Easter egg for many Swifties, with endless theories on how to decode it. But what if the biggest Easter egg of all is actually set up as a trap to draw our attention in, so that we become so focused on it's significance that we don't notice the bigger picture? The subway wall is made up of small square tiles, with Taylor Swift themed posters and the rerecords written with spray paint over the top to mimic graffiti. But if you look even closer still, you will see that there's also a crack down the middle of the man wall map. This suggests that there's something hidden behind it, just like with Truman's map.

The tunnel

When Marlon opens the closet in the basement, we discover that Truman had dug a hole through the ceiling and this is how he escaped. Marlon climbs up the stepladder and we see his head pop out of the hole in the garden. We could assume Truman began digging this hole after Meryl left because we can see he left behind the same multi tool that she advertised in the beginning, but he was in the middle of digging in the same spot when she came home that day. All we had seen was an awkward shot of Truman from behind as he was working in the garden bed. Truman also purposely left patches of grass unmowed so he had an excuse to be frequently working on the old lawn mower in the basement, something that was quickly replaced once Meryl left.

The ending of the 'delicate' music video is what sparked this deep dive into the Truman show. I discovered that the bar Taylor enters is called the gopher, an animal famous for digging holes underground. This unexpected connection to Truman's method of escape was unbelievable after picking up on many of Taylor's hints towards a departure.

The trap door

If Truman had been digging a tunnel in the garden from the beginning, how did he get away with it? He disguised the hole by filling it with balls and rocks in just the right size that were painted to look like garden ornaments. This is echoed in the scene where Truman is telling Marlon about how he wants to go to Fiji. Marlon asks if Fiji is near Florida, so Truman demonstrates with a golf ball to show that it's practically on the other side of the world. The way Truman is describing it implies that the tunnel is hidden on both sides in a place where the cameras can't find it, and all that's left now is to plan his escape route.

Taylor’s version of Truman’s golf ball is the painted nails aligned with the 2 and 8 on the karma coffee cup, pointing to where her journey through the tunnel starts and finishes. Other ball shaped references include the pearl coloured balls floating around Ice Spice in the 'karma' music video, the golden orbs in the 'willow' music video and the tennis balls in 'the man' music video. When Taylor attempts to leave the glass case in the 'willow' music video, she finds it has been boarded up. She tries to find a way out through the glass, only to reveal that she knew that there was a trap door underneath her feet the entire time. We hear the lyrics "I come back stronger than a 90's trend" at the exact same time Taylor goes down the tunnel. And which trend is she referencing? The Truman show, of course.

Leave everything behind

Cut transmission

Once the director had realised that Truman had really escaped, he was left with no choice but to cut transmission on the live broadcast for the first time since the show began. Panic ensues for the viewers who didn't see this coming, meanwhile we see Sylvia watching from home in anticipation. Ratings for the show are at an all time high as everyone at home waits to find out what happened to Truman.

It's interesting that Taylor drew inspiration from this loading screen for the eras tour poster considering it's a reference to the moment Truman escaped. It draws a very clear parallel to his story, implying that what we're watching on the eras tour is the Taylor version of the Truman show.

Lost at sea

It's unclear how long Truman had after he escaped before the search party started. At first it seemed possible that Marlon left the car door open when he arrived for Truman to escape, but it's more likely he was just in too much of a hurry. It' seems 's likely Truman had some time to escape on his bike undetected. His fear of water meant checking the ocean would be the last place they would think to look for him, which is exactly what happened.

This moment after Taylor entered the bar in the 'delicate' music video reveals a sense of clarity just before she opens up her eyes. The ending of Taylor's story is yet to happen, but from what she's said throughout the tour, she's not planning on slowing down anytime soon.

The note

As Truman sails off we see him pull a note out of his pocket. All he took with him was the collage picture of Sylvia. This symbol of hope for his future was the only thing he took with him. "The only thing that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores."

When Taylor left behind her life's work and started over by herself, she carried a picture of the one that mattered most with her when she left as well. If you look close enough at the man wall, you can see a polaroid shaped outline underneath the black karma letters, as if something that was once there had been taken away. Just like Truman's collage picture, this missing piece represents the secret note from the 'delicate' music video. The one piece of evidence that meant something to them, when so much of their lives were full of half truths and lies. And what's on the polaroid picture? Proof that Taylor is queer... "Like a rainbow with all of it's colours."

It's time to go

Almost drowned

Once they locate Truman as he's escaping on the boat, the director utilises his power to create a storm to derail Truman's attempt to escape. When his first attempts to force Truman to turn back fail, he orders the workers in the control room to hit the boat with the largest wave with to intentionally capsize the boat. They object to risking Truman's life, but the director goes ahead anyway. The wave overturns the boat and Truman almost drowns. As the director escalated his attempts to make Truman stay, it became clear that he would rather let Truman die than watch him leave if he refuses to stay. This highlights how unethical the director's attachment to Truman and the show had become over the years.

In the 'cardigan' music video we see Taylor clinging to her piano in the ocean, just like Truman did with his boat. This shows her determination to fight for her future despite the cost. The trap door Taylor escaped out of in the 'willow' music video is just like the exit points under the stage of the eras tour. Taylor's most iconic exit is after the surprise songs when she dives into the stage. Her character then swims against the current just like Truman did and when she reemerges again it's for the beginning of the 'lavender haze' set.

The getaway boat

Despite the director's attempts, Truman recovers from the storm and sails far enough that his boat crashes into the side of the dome wall. Truman managed to escape Seahaven after a lot of planning, but I think he had some help along the way. If Marlon was aiding Truman's escape plans, he would have been a crucial liaison behind the scenes. Throughout the interview with the director we get a glimpse of Sylvia and find out that her home is full of anti the Truman show propaganda. These include pictures of cast members that could be open to joining their side, with Marlon listed as being their best bet. It's possible the protestors worked together to smuggle Truman's father into Seahaven to encourage Truman to leave. One of the posters shows a young Truman in what appears to be a pizza themed clown costume. Pizza is mentioned a few times by the control centre workers and by the security guards of a car garage. This could be the common factor connecting the protestors helping Truman escape, as well as providing an inconspicuous meet up place to swap information that wouldn't draw attention.

Just like Truman had help, Taylor had a team working together in the 'I can see you' music video. This depicts an alternate view of Truman's escape, with a team breaking in from the outside to rescue Taylor from the vault. Many of the guest appearances in Taylor's music videos are representing the other side of Taylor, more so than any particular muse. Many of the scenes featuring Ice Spice in the 'karma' music video also mimic the ending of the Truman show.

The stairs

Truman found the stairs that lead to the door and is so close to leaving behind the only place he's known. All of this is unfolding because Truman reached a point where his own wellbeing was more important than the character he had been portraying for the audience. Sylvia warned him in the beginning that everyone was watching him. This would have confirmed any suspicions Truman already had and lead to a life of being on high alert knowing he was being monitored at all times.

Both the public and private sides of Taylor have experienced the same restrictions over time, forced to keep a large part of her life hidden from others at all times. The scene with the moon and Saturn implies that an alternative ending to Truman's story is in store for Taylor. The moon was the home of the control centre watching over Truman day and night. Capturing the moon and Saturn in the 'karma' music video suggests that both sides of Taylor have worked together to reclaim the role of director, and are now working together to rewrite their story so that they can reunite and move forward together.

Captive

Finally in a last ditch effort to persuade Truman to stay, the director talks to Truman for the first time. It's clear the director has grown attached to Truman to the point that he doesn't see Truman beyond the character he's crafted over the years, but he only sees the public persona of Truman. The director is pleading for Truman to stay, to let the show continue as it is and claims that he knows Truman better than he knows himself. "You've never had a camera in my head!" is the only thing Truman says in defence. This sentence epitomises everything Truman has experienced living in Seahaven. After all, he was wondering when it was going to end when he was still in school. If the director truly knew what was best for Truman, he would have ended the show years ago.

When Truman told the director that you can't see inside my head, we can assume Taylor is trying to say that we can't see inside her heart. During the 'Me!' music video Brendon Urie opens a heart shaped door that reveals what's inside his heart. This implies that the music video revealed what was in Taylor's heart from the beginning. "When it's like, "me-ee-ee," it's like dancers, cats, gay pride, people in country western boots. I start riding a unicorn, like just everything that makes me me." This is how she describes the music video during the 'Miss Americana' documentary. "And for a fortnight there, we were forever." I believe this is a reference to the fourteen songs on her 'debut' album. Her first and potentially most authentic album is full of songs she wrote before she became famous. And then beginning with 'fearless', Taylor actively added in male muses to her songs to camouflage her queer identity. Unfortunately this was also the beginning of the gap between her public and private life growing apart. Looking back we can see that despite the pain this caused, she never lost hope of reuniting them again.

How did it end?

The final bow

The Truman show challenges our perception of how ethical it is to have such unobstructed access to Truman’s life. We’re left questioning if our entertainment was worth the price he was paying by spending his whole life living in the spotlight. He bows for the audience watching at home and ends with one final “Good morning! And incase I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night!” before he turns and walks through the door. The director was left with a look of disgust as he realised Truman had been preforming for the audience all along. Those who had seen the signs watched on with anticipation and those that didn’t were left feeling shocked and confused.

At the end of a theatre performance, the cast will come back on stage one last time to give their final bow of the night as the audience applauds the performance they've just witnessed. We then have to consider that Truman and Taylor's final bow was an acknowledgement of the fact that they had been putting on a performance the entire time. Just like in 'the manuscript', "looking backwards might be the only way to move forward." Going back through Taylor's history and finding the bread crumbs she left along the way will help us understand that the queer version of Taylor had always been there, we just had to know what we were looking for to be able to see it.

The door

As he steps through the door we wait in fervent anticipation to see how Truman's story ends, only to watch as the credits start rolling without an epilogue. This feels frustrating when we had been hoping to see Truman and Sylvia reunite after many years. Instead, this kind of ending is encouraging us to go back to the beginning and reconsider the story through a new lens after learning about how it ended. Each time you rewatch it you can pick up on the deeper layers of the story, seeing more evidence of Truman's discomfort from living an inauthentic life, and how much determination it required to overcome the challenges he faced along the way. Any further explanation would have diluted the magnitude of the moment Truman felt free for the first time in his life. Just being able to walk through the door in the end was the ultimate accomplishment.

The story Taylor has been showing us was never a revelation of her muses, but a slow unravelling of her experience as a famous person who has had very little privacy throughout her life. She's giving us a peak behind the curtain and allowing us to see who she really is beyond the larger than life character we've all built her up to be. And whether we like it or not, she choosing herself now above all else.

The only difference between Taylor and Truman’s story is that Taylor’s not leaving, she’s simply just stepping out of the closet.

Meet me at midnight?

After turning a pumpkin into a carriage and creating a fancy dress to wear, the fairy godmother forewarns Cinderella before she leaves for the ball.

“You must understand, my dear. On the stroke of 12, the spell will be broken, and everything will be as it was before.” 

The same is true for Taylor.

No matter how much she accomplishes in the spotlight, she is always going to be the truest version of herself underneath the layers of her pop star persona.

"Dear reader, will you still want me when I'm nothing new?"

When the clock strikes midnight, are you still going to want Taylor when you can finally see who she really is underneath?

Who she has been all along?

"A pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her."

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

🧡

[eretzyisrael]

BY NOMI KALTMANN

Josh Moshe, the 33-year-old grandson of Holocaust survivors, was born in South Africa, grew up in New Zealand, and moved to Australia in 2010. He is currently an acclaimed Jewish saxophonist living in Melbourne. Alongside his wife, Maggie, he operated a well-known gift shop in Thornbury, a trendy enclave in the city’s northern suburbs.

“For most of the time I’ve lived here, I’ve felt like [Australia] is peaceful, quiet, and relaxed,” he said. “As for being a Jew, its fine. No one cares if you’re Jewish or not.”

However, all of this rapidly changed for Moshe after Oct. 7, after he was added to the WhatsApp group that was doxed. The backlash against him and his family was swift. “We were sworn at, the shop was graffitied with ‘Glory to Hamas,’ and we were told to ‘F off—we don’t want Zionists in Thornbury,’” he said.

Thornbury doesn’t have a large population of observant Jews, so Moshe, bewildered by the hostility directed at him and his family, believes that his family was unwittingly thrust onto the front lines of the conflict. “We were the only more or less observant Jews in the northern suburbs with a public profile,” he said. “Those factors meant we were heavily exposed and vulnerable to this sort of attack. It’s a very anti-Zionist area. I always knew that, and I always felt that. I was more or less happy living there for a while. But I also think that’s why we were the most exposed.”

As the doxing campaign against him gained traction, Moshe found out that the worst was yet to come.

“People were attacking my [online] music profile. Then attacking my business and then Maggie’s personal profile, even though she wasn’t in the [WhatsApp] group,” he said. As part of this harassment, their 5-year-old son received death threats. “Then people started tagging the band I was in [on social media]. Instead of coming to speak to me, [the band] publicly fired me via an Instagram post.” Moshe is now suing his former bandmates for defamation related to that post.

After months of sustained abuse, Moshe and his wife decided to close their shop and move it to a suburb close to Melbourne’s Jewish heartland.

“A few of our suppliers have been supportive, but, yeah, the vast majority of our customers, and other shops in the strip [in Thornbury] were very quiet and some of them even joined in on the pile-on,” Moshe said. “It was shocking to see how quickly; … seven years of being neighbors and being business associates counts for nothing.”

The antisemitism faced by the family has garnered significant attention in Australia, featuring prominently in the media. It was even highlighted in a documentary aired on Australian television, hosted by former Australian Treasurer Josh Frydenberg, who is one of the country’s highest-profile Jewish figures. The documentary explored the growing issue of antisemitism in Australia.

“I know [participating in the documentary] it has every chance of further damaging my music career, but on the other side, I have to speak about what’s going on,” said Moshe. “We wouldn’t tolerate this with any other ethnicity. In honoring the memory of my grandparents and their families, I am compelled to speak about this rising hatred despite the further backlash I will receive.”

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Final US sales figures for Niall’s new album,

“Horan’s The Show starts at No. 2 on the Billboard 200, marking his third consecutive top five-charting effort (comprising all three of his solo releases). The set launches with 80,500 equivalent album units. Of that sum, album sales comprise 68,000 (making it the top-selling album of the week), SEA units comprise 12,000 (equaling 15.42 million on-demand official streams of the set’s tracks) and TEA units comprise 500. Horan previously hit the top five with Heartbreak Weather (No. 4 in 2020) and Flicker (No. 1, 2017).

The new album was preceded by the single “Heaven,” which peaked in the top 25 on both the Pop Airplay and Adult Pop Airplay charts in April. It hit No. 62 on the Billboard Hot 100 in March.”

https://www.msn.com/en-ca/music/news/morgan-wallen-s-one-thing-at-a-time-back-atop-billboard-200-chart/ar-AA1cIkKO?li=BBqdc3x

Those are good figures for Niall. The Voice turns out to have been a good strategy.

[megistusdiary]

can i interest you all in figure-skating coach!arlecchino?

(longer post utc. no smut, just fluff? - tw slight age gap and also idk specifics on figure skating, i just like the idea 😚)

she's a well-known figure-skater, having gone to the olympics for snezhnaya for several years, each time bringing home the gold for her nation.

she's elegant in her movements yet calculated down to each singular motion to pull it all together in beautiful displays on ice. her outfits are always perfect down to the very threads sewn together.

the way she carries herself at conferences, on camera she's stoic but professional, and pretty enough to have both men and women at her feet when she performs.

that is until the incident.

a chronic back injury she's sustained from pushing her body too far. her coach was always relentless. even when she was miles ahead of her fellow competitors, her coach wanted more.

her coach demanded perfection from all her trainees, yet arlecchino was different. held on a pedestal for all to see.

but don't get it twisted. arlecchino herself would often be found practicing these challenging routines all alone at 3 in the morning. she would be exhausted, limbs aching, and relentless to achieve the cleanest routine.

that back injury changed her life. she disappeared for a few years from the skating world, leaving many of her fans in shock and fear.

luckily, for them, she returned soon after with an apprentice of her own. a younger man by the name of tartaglia with a rather charming theme to all his performances.

unlike arlecchino, he was bolder in his performances. a little sloppy, by her standards, but he made up for it in his flair. she could see even the judges swooning over him, the fans' attention now on him rather than her.

or so she had assumed.

she meets you when her old coach introduces the two of you. she's a good several years older than you, and you still carry that sweet, fresh-faced, joyful look on your face.

as you practice your routine for the both of them, her old coach leans over, suggesting arlecchino take you instead.

she snorts uncharacteristically at the suggestion, watching how your spins are slightly wobbly, the way you look just a tad too small on the ice. she wonders how in the world she could make you a star.

it isn't until she sees you perform with your music, with your passion, that she decides to train you.

she grows annoyed by how starkly different her old coach's methods have become. unlike when arlecchino trained, you clearly haven't been sculpted to perfection. she wonders how, at this point in your career, you wouldn't be there. though, she supposes your smile and demeanor make-up for some of your faults.

she trains you harder, scheduling extra lessons for you outside of your normal hours, watching you yawn and rub your eyes when she calls you in at midnight.

many of her students often leave, saying the pressure was too great. how she was too demanding. she never offered extra lessons, expecting people to bring her talent to work with in the first place.

so why did she give you extra attention?

why wouldn't she just let you leave?

no. she didn't want that... she wouldn't let that happen. she'd rather take extra time to not only make you competent, but a fierce competitor.s

she's even put you in ballet classes. even more remarkable is her own talent in ballet, which you can't help but admire.

the first time she ever finds herself looking at you closer than she imagined. she stands next to you, demonstrating stretches, her hand running up your spine to adjust your posture.

you exhale so softly, almost imperceptibly, but it makes her touch falter, landing just a little too tenderly at the base of your spine before she pulls away. she watches you the rest of the lesson, adjusting your legs and arms to the proper position, her hand trailing up to graze over your jaw.

she tilts your head upwards. "stop looking down." she comments, low and sultry, seeing you swallow thickly. "you're being trained by one of snezhnaya's most renowned figure skaters. act like it."

she gently squeezes your jaw before releasing you. "we're finished for the day." she leaves you panting, entirely embarrassed and internally screaming out.

unbeknownst to you, she sits in the car, staring at the hand she used to touch your jaw, a hardened look on her face. she clenches her hand, a soft blush appearing on her normally dull cheeks as she waits for you so you may both leave the ballet studio.

when you finally do perform at competitions, she finds herself growing much more vocal. oftentimes, she remains quiet, only cringing at her other students' stumbles and deductions.

but not with you.

your moves have become much more elegant, and everyone can see. the commentary surrounds how you seem to emulate the epitome of what your coach stood for herself, but in a much softer tone.

your performance leaves her enraptured, your routine completely clean, garnering you praise and showers of applause.

yet you leave the ice with only one person in mind, your hand brushing over hers when you walk past her to find your water bottle.

and, for the first time, she finds herself wanting more. even when you're sweaty under your glittering dress, hair a mess, makeup starting to smudge. she wants you. her perfect apprentice.

[ukrfeminism]

Music colleges and conservatoires are deterring women and girls from playing “masculine instruments” such as drums and trumpets, a parliamentary report laying bare sexism in the music industry has revealed.

Female students are “cat-called in rehearsals”, held to a higher standard with “masculine” instruments and being told they cannot play properly if “they didn’t sit with their legs open”, the report states.

The Misogyny in Music report by parliament’s women and equalities committee found female musicians faced “endemic” discrimination in the industry which they described as a “boys’ club where sexual harassment and abuse is common”.

A series of female musicians and DJs including Annie Macmanus, Rebecca Ferguson and Katie Waissel gave evidence to the committee about discrimination and abuse they had witnessed or experienced.

Waissel, the former X Factor contestant, told the inquiry how “at the age of 16, she was grabbed by a much older man and placed on his lap in the recording studio while they were reviewing the track she was recording”.

The report found that many female performers who had been the victims of “discrimination, harassment and abuse” continued to be silenced through the widespread use of non-disclosure agreements (NDAs).

It said: “Women in the music industry have had their lives ruined and their careers destroyed by men who have never faced the consequences for their actions. 

“People in the industry who attend award shows and parties currently do so sitting alongside sexual abusers who remain protected by the system and by colleagues.”

The report went on: “Much of the evidence we received has had to remain confidential, including commentary on television shows and household names.

“That is highly regrettable but demonstrates the extent of the use of NDAs and the culture of silence.”

The report outlined gender disparities throughout the industry. For example, less than 5 per cent of the producers or engineers on the top streamed tracks in 14 genres were female or non-binary, while of all the songwriters and composers who received a royalty in 2020, only one in six were female.

It also pointed out that the record label departments charged with finding new talent were dominated by men, concluding: “Women have significant additional barriers to pass to get a foothold in the music industry and must navigate acts of passive aggression, ridicule and misogyny to have a sustainable career. 

“Female artists are routinely undervalued and undermined, endure a focus on their physical appearance in a way that men are not subjected to, and have to work far harder to get the recognition their ability merits. Despite increases in representation, discrimination and misogyny remain endemic.”

The committee also called for music colleges, conservatoires and other educational establishment “to do more to address the gendering of instruments, roles and genres.”

Its members heard that “in many cases women are discouraged from playing certain instruments at all’, with one witness saying: “There is this idea that if you’re a girl you can’t play the drums, or if you’re a girl you can’t play the trumpet really loudly because it will make you look ugly.”

The report said that the Musicians’ Union had described female students being “cat-called in rehearsals”, “made to feel uncomfortable by male lecturers” and being told “they couldn’t play their instrument properly if they didn’t sit with their legs open in orchestra rehearsals”.

Caroline Nokes, the Conservative MP who chairs the committee, said “endemic misogyny … has persisted for far too long within the music industry.”

She added: “A shift in the behaviour of men — and it is almost always men — at the heart of the music industry is the transformative change needed for talented women to quite literally have their voices heard and be both recognised and rewarded on equal terms.”

[fruvittea]

midnight calls

💌﹒→﹒heesung x reader (long distance au | established relationship)﹒ ﹒ ♪

— genre: angst/happy ending

— word count: 2.2k

— warnings? none

— synopsis: Heeseung is an idol trying to balance fame and his long-distance relationship with you. Despite his busy schedule, he always calls you at midnight to talk about his day. However, his world becomes chaotic as comeback promotions heat up, and the calls become less frequent. One night, you confront him about drifting apart, leading to an emotional conversation where Heeseung reaffirms how much you mean to him.

The faint glow of your phone screen was the only light in the room as you stared at the ceiling, waiting. Midnight had become a sacred hour, a fleeting moment where the distance between you and Heeseung didn’t seem so unbearable. The routine was almost ritualistic—his name flashing across your screen, his soft voice greeting you with a smile you could practically hear. But lately, that routine had started to crumble, leaving behind a gnawing emptiness you tried desperately to ignore.

It wasn’t always like this. When Heeseung first left for Seoul to chase his dream, you were his anchor, the person he called at every high and low point. Those late-night conversations were the lifeline keeping your relationship afloat, tethering you to him despite the miles between you. But as his group grew more popular, so did the demands on his time. Photoshoots, rehearsals, interviews, music shows—his days blurred into one another, and the midnight calls became less frequent.

You tried to understand. Heeseung had always dreamed big, and you knew what you were signing up for when you decided to stay by his side. But understanding didn’t make it hurt any less when your calls turned into unanswered messages or when his updates became curt, rushed apologies. You felt selfish for wanting more of him when he was already giving everything to his career.

Your chest tightened as you glanced at the clock on your phone. 12:17. No call. Again.

The screen lit up with a notification, and for a split second, your heart leaped, only to sink again when you saw it was from a friend. You sighed, tossing the phone onto the bed beside you. This wasn’t sustainable. The constant waiting, the disappointment, the feeling of being an afterthought—it was slowly eating away at you.

The ringing of your phone startled you. Heeseung’s name flashed across the screen, and you hesitated for a moment before answering, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“Hey,” his voice came through, soft but laced with exhaustion.

“Hey,” you replied, your tone carefully neutral.

“Sorry, I’m late again,” he said, a hint of guilt creeping into his words. “We had a last-minute practice, and I lost track of time.”

You bit your lip, trying to keep your emotions in check. “It’s fine. You’re busy. I get it.”

There was a pause, the kind that usually didn’t exist between you two, and you hated how heavy it felt. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice dipping into concern.

You closed your eyes, debating whether to keep the peace or let the dam break. The silence stretched, and you heard him exhale softly, waiting.

“No, Heeseung. I’m not okay,” you finally said, your voice cracking. “I don’t think I’ve been okay for a while now.”

His breath hitched, and you could almost picture the furrowed brow, the slight panic in his eyes. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“What’s wrong?” You let out a humorless laugh, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “What’s wrong is that I feel like I’m barely part of your life anymore. You’re always busy, always tired, and I get it, I do. But I can’t keep pretending that it doesn’t hurt when you forget about me.”

“I haven’t forgotten about you,” he said quickly, his voice pleading. “I could never forget about you.”

“Then why does it feel like I’m the only one holding onto this relationship?” The words spilled out before you could stop them, the weight of your emotions finally breaking free. “I’m tired, Heeseung. Tired of waiting, of wondering if tonight will be another night where you don’t call. Tired of feeling like I’m second to everything else in your life.”

“You’re not second,” he said, his voice trembling. “You’re not. You mean everything to me. I know I’ve been bad at showing it, but I promise—”

“Promises don’t mean anything if they’re always broken,” you interrupted, the tears you’d been holding back finally slipping down your cheeks. “I need more than promises, Heeseung. I need to feel like I matter to you.”

“You do matter,” he said desperately. “I know I’ve messed up, but I don’t want to lose you. Please, just—just tell me what I can do to fix this.”

The raw emotion in his voice twisted something deep inside you, but the hurt wouldn’t let you soften, not yet. “I don’t know if you can,” you said quietly. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

There was a long pause, the kind that made your heart feel like it was splitting in two. “Don’t say that,” he finally whispered, his voice barely audible. “Don’t give up on us. Please.”

You wiped at your tears, trying to steady your breathing. “I’m not giving up, Heeseung. I just… I need to think. We both do.”

“I’ll do better,” he said, the desperation in his voice pulling at your resolve. “I’ll make more time for you. I’ll call every night, no matter how tired I am. Just don’t… don’t pull away from me.”

“I don’t want to pull away,” you admitted, your voice softening. “But I can’t be the only one holding on. This has to be a two-way street, Heeseung. I need you to meet me halfway.”

“I will,” he said, his tone firm despite the shakiness in it. “I’ll do whatever it takes. Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it. I swear.”

Your grip on the phone tightened as you took a shaky breath. “I need time,” you said finally. “Time to figure out if this is something we can fix, or if we’re just hurting each other by holding on.”

The silence that followed was deafening, each second stretching into an eternity. When Heeseung finally spoke, his voice was heavy with emotion. “Take all the time you need. Just don’t forget that I love you, okay? Don’t ever doubt that.”

“I won’t,” you whispered, your heart aching at the sincerity in his words. “I love you too.”

The call ended shortly after, leaving you alone in the quiet room. You stared at the screen, the weight of the conversation settling over you like a thick blanket.

You wanted to believe Heeseung’s promises, to trust that he could make things better. But a part of you couldn’t shake the fear that no matter how much you loved each other, the distance between you might be too great to overcome.

As the night stretched on, you curled up under the covers, clutching your phone like it was the last thread connecting you to him. Whether that thread would hold or break was a question only time could answer.

The days after that conversation were some of the hardest you’d endured in a long time. You had thought taking time to think would help you find clarity, but instead, it felt like the world had been muted. The usual midnight calls were gone, and even though it was what you had asked for, the absence left a hollow ache in your chest.

You missed him.

Your friends told you to give him space, to let him prove his promises on his own terms, but patience was never your strong suit. You tried to keep yourself busy—throwing yourself into work, catching up on shows you’d neglected, and meeting up with friends—but nothing felt right.

And then, nearly a week later, your phone lit up with his name.

You stared at the screen, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure it would echo through the room. The memory of his desperate voice from that night played on a loop in your head as you debated whether to answer.

When you finally picked up, there was a moment of silence before his voice came through, soft and hesitant.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” you replied, your voice quieter than you intended.

“I, uh… I hope this isn’t a bad time,” he said, sounding unsure of himself.

“It’s not,” you said, leaning back against the couch. “What’s up?”

“I’ve been thinking,” he began, his words careful. “About what you said. About us.”

You stayed silent, letting him find the words.

“You were right,” he admitted. “I haven’t been the partner you deserve. I let everything else take priority, and I didn’t stop to realize how that was affecting you—us. I’m sorry.”

Your grip on the phone tightened, his words stirring something fragile inside you. “Heeseung, it’s not just on you. I should’ve communicated better instead of letting things build up.”

“No,” he said firmly. “You shouldn’t have had to ask for more. I should’ve given it willingly. And I want to fix that. I know I can’t go back and undo the hurt I caused, but I can do better moving forward—if you’ll let me.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, your emotions warring between hope and fear. “How do I know this won’t happen again?”

“I’ve been working on making changes,” he said, his voice steady. “I talked to my manager and explained that I need to carve out time for myself—for us. We’ve set boundaries on my schedule. I’ve also been keeping a journal to remind myself of the things I value most, and your name is at the top of every page.”

The thought of him taking such deliberate steps made your chest ache with longing and something dangerously close to hope.

“Come see me,” he said suddenly, his words tumbling out in a rush. “I know it’s last minute, but I’ll make it worth your while. I want to show you that I’m serious.”

The idea of seeing him in person, of closing the distance that had been tearing you apart, was almost too much to process. But before you could talk yourself out of it, you found yourself agreeing.

The flight to Seoul was a blur, your nerves tangled with anticipation and apprehension. By the time you landed, exhaustion had settled in, but the sight of Heeseung waiting for you at the airport made it all worth it.

He was wearing a mask and a baseball cap, but you would’ve recognized him anywhere. The moment his eyes met yours, they softened, and he closed the distance between you in a few quick strides.

“Hi,” he said, his voice muffled by the mask.

“Hi,” you replied, your voice trembling slightly.

Without another word, he pulled you into a hug. His arms wrapped around you tightly, as though he were afraid you might slip away if he let go. You felt the tension in your body melt as you leaned into him, the familiar scent of his cologne grounding you in a way nothing else could.

“I missed you,” he murmured against your hair.

“I missed you too,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

The next few days were a whirlwind of quiet moments and tentative steps toward rebuilding what had been strained. Heeseung took you to some of his favorite spots in the city—the cozy café where he liked to write lyrics, the park where he went to clear his head, the convenience store where he always grabbed late-night snacks after practice.

He made an effort to include you in his world, even bringing you to the studio to meet his members. They welcomed you warmly, teasing Heeseung about how he couldn’t stop talking about you. You saw the way his ears turned red, but he didn’t deny it.

At night, when it was just the two of you in his apartment, he opened up in a way he hadn’t before. He talked about the pressures he faced as an idol, the moments of doubt and insecurity, and how he often felt like he was walking a tightrope.

“I didn’t want to burden you with all of that,” he admitted one evening as you sat together on the couch. “But I realize now that shutting you out did more harm than good. I want to share everything with you—the good, the bad, and everything in between.”

You reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “I want that too, Heeseung. I want to be there for you, even when it’s hard. But you have to let me in.”

“I will,” he promised, his gaze steady. “From now on, no more walls between us.”

On your last night in Seoul, Heeseung surprised you with a private rooftop dinner. Fairy lights twinkled overhead, and the city skyline stretched out before you, a breathtaking backdrop to an evening you would never forget.

As you sat across from him, the weight of the past few weeks seemed to fade, replaced by a quiet sense of contentment.

“I know I’ve said this before, but thank you for not giving up on me,” he said, his voice earnest. “I don’t take it for granted.”

You smiled, your heart full. “I didn’t give up because you’re worth it, Heeseung. We’re worth it.”

He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. “I won’t let you down again. I promise.”

When you boarded the plane home the next day, your heart felt lighter. The distance was still there, but the weight of it didn’t feel as crushing as before. Heeseung had proven that he was willing to fight for your relationship, and you felt more confident than ever that you could face whatever challenges lay ahead together.

As the plane ascended, your phone buzzed with a text from him.

“Midnight calls are back. Don’t miss me too much.”

You smiled, clutching the phone to your chest. The distance was still there, but so was the love, and that was more than enough.

✴︎🪷𓈒͏ུུ̑̑. ཉ — by @fruvittea

[alottiegoingon]

our song

jackie taylor x gn!reader

summary: where the famous singer jackie taylor writes an entire album for actor!reader after three years apart.

warnings: cursing, angst but happy and sweet ending, not proofread.

you were the luckiest person in the entire world. the great jackie taylor, with her magnetic personality and soaring career as a talented singer, had chosen you to be her partner. with millions of fans captivated by her melodic voice and genuine charm, she wasn't just a star but a phenomenon. her albums topped charts, her concerts sold out within minutes, and her presence lit up every room she entered.

as for you, your career as an actor was blossoming. you had worked tirelessly to earn your place in hollywood, landing roles that showcased your versatility and dedication. small and perhaps insignificant ones at first but slowly turning into something that captivated the public. together, you and jackie were a power couple, admired for your talent, grace, and the undeniable chemistry that sparked between you both on and off-media.

♫

jackie reclined on the sun-dappled blanket, her fingers interlaced with yours as the two of you lay in the park, soaking up the warmth of the late afternoon sun. the serene setting offered a rare moment of peace amidst your otherwise chaotic lives, practically a miracle.

“it's still the same as when we first came here,” jackie pointed, eyes sparkling with the memory. “you tried to impress me by catching that frisbee and ended up tripping over your own feet.”

you chuckled, grip tightening around hand. “hey, i still maintain that the ground was uneven. besides, you were impressed. i saw you trying not to laugh.”

she rolled her eyes playfully. “i was laughing with you, not at you. there’s a difference.”

“of course there is,” you teased. “wouldn’t it be wonderful if every day could be as peaceful as this?” murmuring, you gently lose your grip on jackie’s hand to play with her fingers, twirling the rings adorning her index finger.

she exhaled contentedly, leaning her head against your shoulder. “it would be perfect,” she agreed. “though, knowing us, we’d probably get bored. like that time when we decided to make pasta from scratch at 2 AM and almost destroyed the kitchen."

you laughed, the memory bringing a warm glow to your heart. “you ended up covered in flour, and we had to clean the whole apartment. but it was worth it, even if it tasted vile.”

jackie giggled, her eyes widening. “vile? it was insufferable,” she reminds you, marveling at your different perspective, probably because you were too happy being with her to care about the food.

before you could respond, both your phones buzzed simultaneously, pulling you back to reality. you exchanged a resigned glance and picked up your phone to find a message urgently demanding your presence on your manager's office.

fuck. nothing good could ever come off this.

in the sleek, modern office, the atmosphere grew heavy. yours and jackie’s manager gave you both uneasy glances before addressing you.

“thank you for coming on such short notice,” he began, his tone serious. it couldn't be good. “as you know, the fan frenzy is getting out of control.”

that was his polite way of demanding your relationship to end.

jackie raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into a wry smile. “so, let me get this straight. you think breaking up will magically stop our fans from being obsessed? what’s next, telling the sun not to shine?”

your manager sighed, running a hand through his hair. “it's about your careers. you haven't released new music in months," he faces jackie for a moment. "and your latest movie faced a lot of unnecessary backlash because of the rumors. this isn’t sustainable.”

jackie’s expression hardened. “so we should just give up on each other because it’s convenient for you? that’s absurd.”

"we’re not saying it’s forever, jackie. just until things calm down. you both have worked so hard to get where you are. don’t let this jeopardize everything.”

jackie took a minute to absorb the suggestion, and your lips parted in shock as she somehow seemed convinced by all that nonsense.

you looked at her, your heart breaking at the thought of losing her. half of you were furious, holding yourself to now jump on the mid aged man in front of you and ripping his fancy hair our for suggesting such a cruel idea. the other half... “jackie, you can't actually be considering this.”

she took a deep sharp breath. “i don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want to hold you back," you wanted to tell her that she could never hold you back, but you had a immense lump stuck on your throat. "maybe... maybe they’re right. maybe we need to focus on our careers for now.”

“jackie,” you whispered, reaching for her hand. “this isn’t what i want. i don’t care about the fans or the media. i care about you.”

she squeezed your hand back tightly, her voice trembling. “i know. but maybe... maybe this is the only way. for now.”

yet, the 'for now' turned into three years.

♫

three years had passed since the decision was made for you and jackie to go on separate ways. for jackie, those three years became a period of creative hibernation, or at least that's what she told the media. once a prolific artist whose songs resonated deeply with millions, she withdrew from the limelight entirely.

meanwhile, your life had taken a different trajectory. the breakup had fueled a fire within you, driving you to immerse yourself in your work. acting roles came flooding in, and with each new character you portrayed, you climbed higher in the movie industry ranks. yet, no amount of success could fill the void jackie had left behind. you buried yourself in scripts, hiding from the emotions that threatened to break through.

your latest project had brought you to a new movie set, where you worked tirelessly to bring your character to life. the film set became your sanctuary and your proving ground, especially after your ex-girlfriend had came back to the public's eye, releasing a new album out of nowhere.

oh, that's why you had been receiving so many calls and texts and spending a lot of time ignoring every single one. it didn't surprise you that her name was all over the internet, doubling your efforts to avoid her name like the plague. you didn't give a fuck about jackie taylor.

or you liked to think you didn't.

it was during a rare moment of downtime that you heard it—her voice, lilting and haunting, spilling from the trailer of your co-star.

you stumbled upon the trailer nestled within the labyrinthine studio lot. melodies drifted through the half-open door, the familiar voice stirring memories you had tried so hard to forget. curious, you approached quietly, recognizing it instantly.

as you leaned against the doorframe, the lyrics unfolded like a poignant reflection of your shared history. you remained silent, unseen, grappling with the emotions stirred by each familiar verse.

as the song ended, your first instinct was to rush back to your own trailer, tears welling up in your eyes. you should have been studying your lines and preparing for filming, but instead, you found yourself hurrying to listen to your ex-girlfriend's new album after years apart.

with trembling hands, you opened your laptop, fingers shaking as you searched for jackie’s latest album. the cursor hesitated over the play button, torn between reluctance and a deep yearning to hear her voice.

you pressed play and jackie's haunting melodies filled the small space of your trailer. the first song washed over you like a wave, stirring memories long buried in your heart. each verse unveiled a tapestry of emotions—love, longing, regret—all laid bare in her soulful voice.

after listening to the entire album, you became a sobbing wreck by the time the final track ended. all that remained certain was the need to see her, torn between sadness for jackie, pitying her regretful confession delivered so cowardly, and fury at how she chose to reveal it all.

without a second thought, you booked a flight to the city where jackie lived, not caring about the scenes they were supposed to film later that day, leaving it all behind. you had better plans.

♫

jackie had just finished a late-night interview, her thoughts drifting back to you as they often did. the doorbell rang, startling her from her reverie. she wasn't expecting anyone to show up, and definitely not you.

opening the door, she was met with your familiar face, just like she remembered. her heart leaped into her throat, and for a moment, neither of you spoke.

"really, an album? you couldn't have called me to tell me this is how you felt after three years?" your voice trembled with a mixture of anger and longing, finally beating the silence.

"it's nice to see you too. you look nice."

"really? i miss you every day since that day and you decided to put your feelings in a stupid album instead of talking to me?"

jackie's attempt to brush the awkwardness away was useless when you could perfectly see the fear in her face. "i didn't know how to reach out to you."

"you didn't know how to reach out to me?" you repeated, your voice rising. "we've been through so much together, and you thought an album was the best way to communicate?"

her expression hardened, hands clenched into fists. "do you think it was easy for me? do you think I wanted to put everything into songs?"

"yes, i do!" you stepped inside, forcing jackie to walk backwards, slamming the door behind you. "because that's exactly what you did! you hid behind your music instead of talking to me like a fucking adult."

"don't you dare judge me!" jackie shouted back, her arms gesturing in agitation. "you think it was easy watching you move on with your life, seeing you in the headlines?"

"move on?" you laughed bitterly. "you call that moving on? i was drowning myself in work because I couldn't deal with losing you. every script, every role, it was just a way to distract myself from the pain that you created when you agreed to that entire breakup shit."

jackie took a step back, her eyes eventually softening, but she kept quiet. she had a great way with words when writing songs, but not in situations like this. "i know," she whispered. "i didn't want to hold you back."

her words hung in the air, the weight of their implications sinking into both of you. you took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart.

"holding me back?" you repeated, your voice tinged with disbelief. "jackie, you were never holding me back. you were the one who kept me grounded."

"i thought i was doing the right thing. everyone kept saying it was the best for our careers, for our future."

"everyone but us," you said, your voice sounded like a broken whisper.

she looked at the living room, then met you again, her expression filled with regret. "can we just sit and talk?"

the last thing you wanted now was to sit and listen to her excuses. still, you had come all the way down there. you were just as scared as she was.

jackie motioned towards the couch, and you hesitated for a moment before following her lead. the place was dominated by an unsettling silence, the air heavy with unresolved emotions.

as you both settled into the cushions, she took a deep breath, her fingers nervously twisting a strand of her hair. "i know i fucked up. i thought i was doing the right thing."

you glance at her, she was having a hard time looking at you.

"i was scared," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "scared that if i fought for us and it didn't work out, it would destroy me. i took the easy way out, and i've regretted it every day since."

"yeah, you did take the easy way out," you said, a hint of bitterness creeping into your voice but soon vanishing. "but i guess i wasn't much better. i threw myself into the first plane and will probably get fired just to tell my ex-girlfriend how pissed i was."

she gave a small, insecure smile. "that's really stupid."

"tell me about it," you mumble, mirroring her sad smile.

jackie laughed softly, a genuine sound that seemed to lighten the room. "we're both a bit stupid, aren't we?"

you couldn't help but chuckle too, the tension in your chest easing slightly. "oh, yes. a lot," you nod, the sad grin shifting to a more comfortable one. "at least we were stupid together."

the corners of her eyes crinkled in that familiar way that always made your heart flutter. "stupid together," she agreed.

for a moment, the two of you just sat there, smirking at each other, a shared understanding passing between you. the silence was no longer heavy, but comfortable, like slipping into an old, worn-in pair of shoes.

jackie shifted closer, her hand reaching out hesitantly to rest on yours. "so, where do we go from here?"

you take a look down at her hand on yours, feeling the warmth of her touch. "well, i guess we start by being honest with each other. no more hiding, no more running away."

she nodded, her eyes earnest. "right. i can do that."

you squeezed her hand gently. "and maybe we can take it slow, figure things out as we go."

jackie grinned, a playful glint in her eyes. "does that mean no grand gestures like flying across the country without telling anyone?"

you laughed, feeling lighter than you had in years. "no promises. i might still have a few dramatic moves up my sleeve."

the two of you talked for hours, sharing stories, laughing about old memories, and making plans for the future. it felt like a weight had been lifted, and for the first time in years, you felt hopeful.

a loud snort falls from your lips when you hear a loud and sudden growl coming from jackie's stomach and she mirrors you, cheeks instantly turning pink.

"do you wanna cook something?" you ask, a specific memory showing up on your mind. "maybe pasta."

"absolutely not. we promised to never try that again," she added, grinning.

"maybe we should break that promise," you glance at the kitchen, a mischievous twinkle in your eye. "try again and see if we can actually make something edible this time."

she raised an eyebrow, amused. "are you suggesting a rematch?"

your smile widened. "absolutely. I think we can do better this time. and if not, well, there's always pizza."

"alright, you're on. but no cheating."

"deal," you agreed, holding out your pinky.

jackie linked your pinky with hers, sealing the promise.

♫

the kitchen soon filled with the aroma of garlic and tomatoes, and before long, you were sitting at the table, enjoying a surprisingly delicious meal. each bite felt like a victory, not just over the failed attempts before that, but over the misunderstandings and pain that were now behind you.

it was past midnight when you found yourselves nestled in bed, illuminated by the gentle glow of the bedside lamp. your fingertips traced idle patterns on jackie's stomach, the hushed tones of your conversation blending with the city distant and muffled noises. with exhaustion catching up, you pulled her nearer, jackie's head resting against your chest as you wrapped your arms around her, finding solace in the shared peace of falling asleep together.