#survive withojt that. but i dont know what its gonna look like or where im gonna get it ajd i am TERRIFIED of being isolated from my cohort
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pepprs · 5 years ago
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hm also. and before I say it i know ive been making too many personal posts bht im just going thru a time ok. anyways it’s already gonna be hard enough making friends just like. being the person i am and having the personality i do but there’s like the added complication of like. i don’t eat any of the same things anyone else eats and also i don’t like. p*rticipate in p*rty c*lture if u know what i mean. and idk how to navigate that guess i will just have to.. find out
#purrs#its not gonna be that bad i know i’ll find friends where im meant to. but being the Weird Girl™️ is so fucking exhausting and im just scared#like what am i gonna do when everyones out on the town clubbing and going to bars and shit and getting ice cream from the pier probably and#im like no thank uou i wuld rather sit in my bedroom and hide and eat an entire tub of dates than be dead weight in public 😌✨ also another a#awful thought is like. what happens when i panic and there is no one to.. well. no one who knows what i need. no one who knows how to h*ld#me which is a TERRIBKE thohght and i dotn mean physically its lkke. being held as u are as a person right. what the fuck am i gonna do!#who am i gonna eat with! confide in! talk to! be h*gged by maybe! go on adventures with! idk! i know i’ll find someone i have to. i cant#survive withojt that. but i dont know what its gonna look like or where im gonna get it ajd i am TERRIFIED of being isolated from my cohort#and i already know im gonna be the weird girl which j shouldnt tell myself. i wish i hadnt watched those vlogs today cuz now im all paranoid#anyways. i just want to stick my head in the ground also i have 2 more full days left before i go and NOTHING feels real!!! at all!!!!!#anyways the point of this post is. study abroad seems to be very strongly associated with things that are not a part of my world and i dont#know how to handle that except making the parts of my world a part of this but. it is going to be hard and i am going to hurt. but it has to#be ok it has to because im strong enough to make it that way as long as i believe i am. ok im done i think except probably not but we’ll see#also i quite litcherally cannot afford any of this so thats another factor but like whatever!!!!!!!!
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