#surpressed and I wanna get as many eyes on these as I can

[xdraon]

Your charitable donations will be double rewarded by God in your life and your eternity.

i just want from you to have 5 minutes from your time to read my story .. please

Donate if you can

Reblog if you can’t

https://www.gofundme.com/f/i-have-nothing-left-my-home-and-workplace-have-be?

Verified by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi

I hope you and your family have a smooth and easy time getting the funds needed, may a free palestine come soon.

Please Donate or Boost!

Proof of vetting here! As I'm writing they have $11,311 of their $50,000 goal raised

[seikosas]

JellyCat Worker!Ellie hcs + scenarios

sypnosis: ellie works at a jellycat diner

contains: fluff , sfw, ellie x reader, jesse & joel mentioned, ellie is a college student and so is reader, reader is a babysitter

a/n: I got this idea bc I've been seeing so many jellycat worker vids on my fyp and I thought it'd be cute if ellie worked as one! I hope yall know the tiktok vids I'm referencing :,)

jellycatworker!ellie who decided to take this job because Joel told her she needed to get a real job to learn more about 'being responsible'.

jellycatworker!ellie who begged jesse to apply to the jellycat diner with her because she didn't wanna do this alone.

"I'll finally give you Dina's number if you work with me."

"..... alright."

"fuck yeah!"

jellycatworker!ellie who actually ended up enjoying her job, but doesn't admit it because she thinks it's kind of embarrassing.

"All right, Here you go! One pizza for you, next customer!"

jellycatworker!ellie who's face went completely pale when she saw you. the girl from her english lit class, and also the girl she's been pining over for months, coming in with a kid.

"Hi! What can I get for you tod- today?" ellies voice squeaks at the last word of the sentence, and you bit your lip, in hopes to surpress your laugh. God, this was off to a great start.

"Amelie, honey. What do you want?" you say to the kid, which ellie now knows name is Amelie. "uhh, I want a hotdog please!" the kid says with a beaming smile. "One hotdog for Amelie, coming right up!"

jellycatworker!ellie who got right to pretending to cook the hotdog on the imaginary grill, determined to make this a fun experience for the kid. And hopefully... for you too.

jellycatworker!ellie who started getting nervous because she realized your eyes never left her from the minute she started 'cooking'.

When she was done, she finally made eye contact with you giving you the bag, "Here you go! One hot god- HOT. DOG." her eyes widen at her mistake, and you laugh loudly while taking the bag from her hands. If her whole body wasn't already burning before, it definitely is now.

Even though she was embarassed she couldn't deny that your laugh sounded like honey to her ears. You give the bag to the kid who excitedly grabbed it from your hands. "Thanks so much, Ellie!" you say as you reach out the payment for the toy.

"Yeah, no problem- Wait. You know who I am?" she asks confused. "Of course, we go to the same class right?" you knew who she was? Whatever God is up thtere she was thanking them for this moment. "Uhmm yeah, I just didn't know you knew who I was." she shyly rubs the back of her neck. "I always see you. I've just been... too shy to approach I guess." She stares at you in shock for a long minute, then you finally say something.

" well, it was nice talking to you, Ellie. Thank you again!" And before you turn around she freaks out and grabs a jellycat, "Wait! Uhh, you forgot this." You turned around to see her reaching her hand out with the pink macaron-shaped plushie.

"Oh, uhh, her mom actually only gave us enough money for the hotdog-" she interrupts you before you could even complete the sentence "It's on the house, uhm, For you." she doesn't even look at you while she says this.

You smile at her awkwardness, taking the plushie as she continues to avoid eye contact. Then she feels you slip something into her fingers, a card. She finally looks at you, then the card. It was your number, "Text me sometime. If you want." you hastily add that last part, "I want too." you're smile widens even more when you heard her reply with such speed.

"Well, okay. Bye, Ellie!" you wave your hand and so does Amelie, "Bye, Emmiee!" She lets out a chuckle at the kid getting her name wrong.

When you're finally out of her peripheral vision, she lets out the breath she didn't even know she was holding in, "Oh, wow. What the hell was that." Jesse laughs. Ellie turns around to find where the voice is coming from, "The fuck? How long have you been watching."

"Oh, I watched the whole thing." He grins while ellie hides her face from embarrassment.

jellycatworker!ellie who held on to the business card you gave her with your number on it for the rest of her shift.

jellycatworker!ellie who definitely texted you immediately after her shift ended.

___________________

a/n: I hope you guys enjoyed this! This is my first headcannons-type post so idk if its good🥲🥲 also idk if someone already wrote about the idea of ellie working at a jellycat diner so pls tag the user if someone already did!!

[youuuimeanmee]

RWTGI 34 Thoughts

😆🥰🤗 I've been waiting for Kirishima's past to be translated since forever 😭😭Now I can FINALLY talk about this chapter wkdbjsnsjsjk

Out of all the mysteries presented in this series (the hell's up with Suo Azami, Renji, Yoshino's parents, the brewing yakuza civil war), Kirishima's past is one thing that hyped me up the most; mostly because I've been dying to know the background this insane yet lovable(?) ML lololol.

⚠️ Though the title is Ch 34's Thoughts, I actually started it from ch 33. If you haven't read it then what are you doing here, go to MangaDex if you don't wanna get spoiled here.

⚠️⚠️TW; Bullying, Abuse, Self H4rm, yk how Kirishima is.

👏 Okay! So!

We FINALLY get to see Kirishima's rich ass mommy and daddy 🥳🥳🥳

(tho they don't have a face, I'll take it)

Looks like the parents are busy people, they missed the fact that their son is not normal since birth. That, or Kirishima is just damn good at hiding it. Maybe both.

"My 2 classmates are fighting over irrelevant things. Solution? Erase the thing without anyone knowing. No more things to fight, problem solved 🙂"

He has a shrewd moral compass, I have a feeling he was being genuine when he "helped" his classmates. Aww my cute baby gremlin.

Or if he wasn't being 100% genuine, maybe he tore up the cards to surpress his urges for violence, to ease the boredom he felt because he couldn't feel anything while living in a normal, peaceful life.

The parents slowly realize the abnormal blood that's been there since Gaku era has never disappear from their family.

Since Gaku is the black sheep of the family, Kirishima's dad prob thought: 'Oh fuck this is uncle all over again. No wait I can do this. He already released his energy using a good outlet (karate), he just needs to surround himself with good people. Friends, yeah. The school we picked is the best; surely there's no bad influence that's gonna taint my son. No more psycho #2.' Umm, I hate to break it to you, but daddy-

Ironically, the dad might be the first person who gave him insight about the feeling of having fun by being with a friend. Up until that point, he probably didn't know the feeling he felt when he did the karate. He did it many times, and the dad claimed he liked it, but he never registered it as 'liking something' until it was pointed out to him.

(just like when kirishima threw daggers at yoshino's back until she pointed out he might be jealous of Shoma and he got a little 'ahh that explains it' moment.)

Aww look at that probing eyes, trying to search the answer of his boredom from his dad 🥺

Let's be real Kirishima could really use a proper diagnosis and therapy back then, even right now.

The smile of a child who has found the spark of his life:

LMAO seriously, he smiles because Kodaka can kick hard. The more pleasure (read: pain) he gets from other people, the more he's gonna seek it.

But Kodaka is still weaker than him, so the pleasure ends quickly.

Enter Otogawa.

She's cute. Sweet. More importantly, she's important enough to trigger Kodaka.

She told him all he needed to know about Kodaka. Great in academics, gyms, and karate. Secretly violent too. Just like himself.

"He's just like me, so we matched right? We can be friends! 😃"

Kirishima be like: FUCK YES MORE FRIENDS TO FUCK.

Remember in ch 25.2 when Kirishima told Yoshino he once formed a "friendship plan" that went down the drain?

Whelp, looks like Kodaka is that "friend." We all know how that ends, tho.

Anyways.

Thus, began Kirishima's scheme to ✨️nurture✨️ Kodaka into a person who could kick him harder & also strong enough to not break easily. He befriended (read: flirted) with his crush, lured him into a desolate place, provoked him, stayed docile & easy to kick, yadda yadda.

Really an elaborate plan for someone his age, it's almost cute.

This moment of Kirishima and concealer really highlights his cleverness since he was a kid. If he buys a concealer for his bruise, it's too pricey for his budget. Parents will question unnecessarily if he were caught buying it. Solution? Pretend to return the high schooler's money (even though it's his own) so they'd do the makeup for him. Bruise covered, money covered, no one's gonna know ☺️ Little manipulative shit.

I was gonna feel sorry for him for getting beaten up, but then his innocent, excited smile turned me off so quick. Ugh.

(This is prob the beginning of his exploration to find new "fun" stuff to try. Like choking himself, for example.)

Kirishima is a pathological liar huh. Saying his birthday is in September even though it's in November. This really adds weight to his words earlier that he only revealed his true birthday to Yoshino 🥺🥲

Kirishima's plan to nurture Kodaka is going smoothly in this chapter. Maintaining good relationship with Otogawa, making him jealous and all that.

I bet bringing a 10,000 yen bill is part of the plan too, because kids need the motivation to keep coming back to him. Extorting a broke student is boring afterall.

It's been 300 days since Kodaka had beaten him up? Um. Excuse me what the fuck. With that many injuries, Where are his parents??? Did he ever get questioned at all?? Is Kirishima just that good at lying?? I'm sorry, but I also smell neglection. Intentionally or not.

Moving on, Kirishima is damn good huh. His fights like an adult, prob even better than some yakuza. He's 12. Let that sink in.

(should've seen it coming tbh, but it still surprises me.)

I wanna say he's so disgusting when he ripped the poor dude's ear (where on earth did he learn that?), but he's also my son, so...

Also, the art is so clean. My eyes is blessed, thank you Konishi.

I'm running out of gas. Yeah that's all for today! See you next time 👋

[tokoyamisstuff]

Scandal Ch. 5 - Loki x Reader

Summary: Loki returns to claim what is his - willing to kill everyone in his way.

Warnings: Angst.

Words: ~1800

I Story Masterlist I General Masterlist I

Taglist: @catlover092402152, @hi-there-x, @haloangel391, @misssilencewritewell, @babayaga67, @accioremuslupinn, @mochimommy2002, @just-someone-who-likes-to-write, @damalseer, @bethanystan, @loser-alert, @star017, @nina1800, @queenariesofnarnia, @n1fangirlsblog, @vengefulsokovian, @lunamoonbby, @freyagallileaevans, @emmojoy, @literate-lamb, @aninnai​, @justsomerandompersonintheworld​

A/N: Sweet little Feedback Anon, I took your suggestion. You know which one I mean if you see it. (:

Btw guys I have like 60+ Drafts I need to finish so pls be patient with me.

Word sure spreads fast among the folk of Asgard, about Odin’s shame and your innocence.

Since his lies had weakened the favor among his subjects, the Allfather was desperate to clean his name and reputation, ultimatively inviting you to come back.

But you declined, stating that this wasn’t your homeland anymore ever since they betrayed you to fullfill their selfish ambitions.

However, Asgard’s hypocrisy wasn’t the only reason you chose to stay on Midgard - you just knew that it would break your heart every day you’d spend on a place with so many memories connected to your deceased husband.

Earthlings, the people of S.H.I.E.L.D and especially Thor’s friends Jane and Erik Selvic had basically become like family to you. Even though they could never fill the void Loki had left in your heart, things being like this was more than you could wish for.

“Lady Y/N!” a familiar voice greeted you, yet his worried tone startled you. Thor was already standing in your room, practically kicking in your door as he was visibly upset.

Immediately, you put Liam into his crib and rushed to his side. “What’s the matter?!”

A strange mix of horror and excitement was stretched across his face, making your heart sink to your stomach.

Actually, you didn’t want to involve yourself with the Asgardians any further. All you ever wanted was for your child to be healthy and happy, no matter where this was possible.

But Thor was still your cherished brother-in-law, as well as a wonderful uncle, never ceasing to provide for you and Liam, even when everyone else had forsaken you.

Yet what he was about to tell you let your blood run cold: 

“Loki is back.”

Immediately, all the walls you had built up over those past months were crumbling as you collapsed to the floor, crying out of anger and relief.

“H-How? How is this even possible?! He’s dead! Loki died!”

“Pull yourself together, Lady Y/N!” Thor has always been a rather touchy-feely kind of person, in opposite to his raw and bulky appearance.

But right now, he wouldn’t dare to hug or console you, like he’d usually do. Instead, he was offering you a hand to help you get back up - which you wouldn’t be able to take just yet. “There’s no use in overthinking this! We need to hurry!”

“What do you even want me to do?” you wondered, because if your husband was really alive, you’d doubt him wanting to see you. “He’s changed...killed a lot of people before he disappeared. And still, I don’t wanna fight him. How can I be of any help at all?!?”

“We know he’s probably after you and the child” the God of Thunder stated coldly. “So you need to be transferred to a safe location.”

What can be more safe than a base of S.H.I.E.L.D? If only you knew he had already demolished a whole, giant outpost of them with ease...

“I’ll explain everything to you on the way.” “Let me quickly get the baby.”

“What, did you forget the name of your nephew already?” you chuckled awkwardly, but seeming to have struck a nerve.

Thor was only slowly approaching the crib in which your lovely baby was resting, staring at it with awe while his trembling hand caressed Liam’s cheek.

“Incredible...” he whispered mainly to himself,  as if this wasn’t the thousandth time he would lay eyes upon him. “He’s just like I remember him.”

Something was off.

Of course Thor had a spare key to your flat, but you had never heared him unlock it - he had just kind of appeared in the middle of the room. Could as well be that you had been to invested with something, or buried in thought to notice him, and yet...

“Wait” you stated, making him flinch away from the child and turn around. “My knees are still weak. Help me up first.”

With heavy steps, Thor would force himself away from the crib and towards you again, lending you another hand and easily pulling you up - just for you to point a sharp dagger to his throat.

“Lady Y/N, when did you summo-”

“Shut up!” you hissed, and the god held his hands into the air to assure his goodwill. "Drop the disguse. Now!”

The man let out an amused huff, a taint of green covering his body to revert it back to normal - revealing your husband.

His hair had become longer, and dark rings showed how devastating those past months went by for him. Yet still, he was unmistakingly your husband.

Yet a faint, mad spark in his eyes was what worried you the most.

Now he was holding a knife as well, both circling around the crib with a knife at each other’s throat, as if to dance with each other.

“So it’s really you, Loki?”

“The one and only” he declared, chest swelling with pride at his performance and completely ignoring your hostile undertone. “I missed you painfully, my sweetling.”

He looked to the side where your son was still sleeping soundly, regret clearly visible on his face. “Wha- what name did you give our child?”

“Liam it is.”

The smallest of smiles tugged on his lips, swallowing harshly to surpress the sobs wanting to break free. “Beautiful name. Very well chosen.”

Pain was stretching across your features, desperately trying for the dam of emotions to not break. The dagger in your hand vanished, rather choosing to reluctantly caress his cheek - to make sure this was really him, and not one of his illusions.

And it was really him, leaning into your touch with a content purr. “Yes, my love, just like tha-”

A loud noise drang to his ear, effectively cutting him off. He needed a second to understand that it was in fact you slapping him what caused the interruption.

“Dear, wait, I-” Another hit, this time it was your knee digging into his groin, making him gasp in pain.

With his current power, it would be a piece of cake to block you - yet he knew that after everything that had happened to you, and everything he had done...

...it was what he deserved. So he would allow you to let off some steam.

Yet much to his surprise, you were done already - now grabbing desperately on his cloak and pulling him in for a passionate kiss.

He immediately reciprocated, dropping his weapon as well to embrace you fully, lips mingling with each other over and over again.

Oh, how long had both of you craved for each other?

“Sorry” you panted as your lips finally parted, “Just needed to get that off my chest.”

“Do not apologize, my love” Loki declared, chin resting atop of your head, still no intention to let go off of you. “I deserve far worse than that.”

You looked up to him, the kiss having made something surface in his eyes: So solemn, and incredibly fragile, it made your heart ache.

“Wha- what happened to you? Where have you been all this time?”

Loki’s face contorted at the question, as if the thoughts in his mind were physically painful. But his mind was clouded, unable to make his proper memory resurfacing. “Places far beyond your imagination, dear. And I have learned many things.”

“I-I thought I had lost you...” you ultimatively began to sob, face dug into his chest.

“No” the god whispered softly, his gaze still unwavering. “You always have me. I promise.”

“What now?” you sniveled as he gently pet your head, just as back in good old times. “Where do we go?”

“What do you mean?” Loki’s features creased into a slight frown, “We stay here. There’s no need to leave or flee.”

“Bu-” you hesistantly took a few steps back, to take in his full reaction. “But you’re a wanted criminal, Loki! On Asgard as well as Midgard!”

His manner became more defensive again, glee radiating off of him. “Oh, my sweet, innocent Y/N...still the idealist, I see.”

“And you are still insufferable” you scoffed back, crossing your arms. “What do you mean?”

Actually, you dreaded the answer.

The man seemed to be thinking about many things at once, eyes narrowing before he finally took a hold of your hand, squeezing it ever so slightly when he saw that you were still wearing his ring - even after everything that had happened.

“Y/N, my love, those deaths were a necessary evil.” He tried to peck a quick kiss on your hand, but you pulled away at those words. “The only crime I feel guilty for is having left the love of my life. But don’t you worry, I’ll make up for it.”

He summoned a staff, glowing in the same blue as the tesseract - and much to your terror, his eyes started to adapt to them as well.

“I will create my own kingdom, Y/N! Here on Midgard, with you as my queen! This is what you deserve, my love! You and our child will have everything you desire and more!”

“This is madness, Loki!” It wasn’t the first time he had heared that.

People always treated him wrongly, afterwards wondering why he was trying to create felicity on his own. “Is it?” he croaked, “Is it madness for a person born to rule two kingdoms to create a home he never had?”

His plan did not merit awe or any such feelings he hoped you to have - the only person in the world he thought would understand him.

“Loki, what your parents have done to you is inexcusable, yet-”

“They’re not my parents!” he screamed enraged, eyes then widened in shock that he had raised his voice at you. “My apologies, I...”

“They have kept the truth from you so that you’d never feel different. You know you’re their son, and the Asgardians are your family. You must know that!”

“You speak like mother” he spat, and still Frigga’s words he could not shake off as easily as Odin’s. “There is no going back to that place, and Jotunheim I never had a connection with. You most likely heared that I tried to kill Laufey, yes?”

Nodding in silence, you nervously bit your lip. “Please...” Wrapping your arms around him and placing one ear at his sternum, you could clearly hear how his heart was fighting a war, struggling to decide.

“You can still stop whatever you were gonna do. We can start anew somewhere, lead a peaceful life with Liam. I don’t need wealth or power, and you clearly know any of this wouldn’t give you the satisfaction you’re searching for!”

“As always, you’re right” he grumbled deeply, already regretting what he was about to do. “But it’s not that easy, my naive little dove.”

“No~” With his hand on the back of your neck, he infused a powerful magic inside your body, slowly shutting down your nervous system completely. As careful as possible, he cradled you in his arms and slowly led you to the floor, then proceeding to take his heir.

“The only thing I need for myself is our little family - and I will avenge you by murdering anyone that did you wrong, or tries to separate us again.”

[watchinglikeafangirl]

I'm sick of the BL industry

To be honest, yesterday, I was very close to stop watching BLs - or I should say Thai BLs - because I lost hope things will take a good turn. It was just a thought I had for a second and it may not seem like an important decision that would change my life. It wouldn't affect me much to return to Netflix but it wouldn't mean anything better. The Thai BL industry has the same problems as Hollywood, so why bother what to consume, right?

And it's not like every BL is problematic behind the scenes and it's the same with Hollywood. To be real here, I only watch Thai BLs because I like the language, food and culture in general. And because it's about love no matter the gender in a very romantic and innocent way. I spend years with American shows and watching something from Southeast Asia is very different. I can't name the difference, but it's huge.

But the Thai BL industry has a bit of an image problem going on right now and I'm very curious how things will turn out and if shows like "call it what you want" or "lovely writer" can actually start a debate about abuse and binding contracts because they are immense problems, I'm gonna talk about here.

Casting

It all starts with the casting. Mostly, actors are being casted who are already famous on social media and I get the strategy. The company can generate more fame and popularity of the show but isn't it enough to cast one famous person and that's it? I don't know anything about BL actors to be honest, so I can't say if they were that famous before or not but even if they weren't, then they are mostly casted for a supporting role and are not the protagonist or his love interest. Mostly, I know the actors from somewhere else and it's sad and unfair for the other actors who don't even stand a chance to get the main role. If you are not famous, you won't get there, and that's clearly inequal.

Binding contracts

So, these people get casted and are now part of the crew. The next problem is the contract they have to sign. I have never seen one of those, so I can't say anything credible about it, but what I can figure out is: the contracts must be very long and detailed. The contracts are the real problem here because they put up boundaries and build lines that shouldn't be crossed that are unnecessary and even though the actors can hide it, something seems off. My favourite example is Saint because he seems nice and all but I always have the feeling he fakes everything and I can't tell were his true self begins and his professional one ends. I find it kind of creepy because I can't figure him out and feel like he's broken or at least, hates his job sometimes. I don't know. These contracts lead actors to fake their whole life, lose their identity and turn them into a**holes. It really makes me sad because these people are obviously scared of saying something wrong because then they would be over. What kind of working atmosphere is that? It's not healthy - that's clear - and the actors are always very distant with each other. It's obvious the things they say, do and laugh about are only said, done and funny when the camera is rolling and it's something I really don't like. I deteste fakery and that's why I don't like certain BL casts because I feel like they are pretending so much they don't like each other off camera at all.

Certain people have too much power

People in high positions definetely have too much power over the actors, directors and the whole crew itself. It's not only the binding contracts. What the trailer of "call it what you want" already addressed was way more than that. They are controlled and surpressed. Simply put, the companies and CEO's don't always see them as humans with a soul. It's really extreme and I know, it's not like that with every BL but I also know, it's the case with enough of them. Tracking your phone, getting you fired if you save the wrong number and keeping you apart from the outside are just the three things mentioned in the trailer.

Of course, there's also the problem with sexual harrasment and it's not only a problem, it's a challenge a whole generation has to face. After watching the video "BL: Broken Fantasy" I felt really stupid because someone who was interviewed was saying the BL industry is acting the same as Hollywood, and of course it does but I never saw it this way. Now I feel stupid for being blinded by all the promotion, shiny music videos and happy interviews because in the end it's also just a film industry, so why would things be different behind closed doors? Then of course, sexual harrasment happens a lot and even abuse. I'm even more mad now that I think about all the BL actors who also never spoke up. There must me billions of people worldwide... anyway, turning back, I just wanted to say that CEO's of production companies in Thailand can be as pathetic as the ones in America and sexual abuse is still a thing no one talks about.

Atmosphere on set

As a BL actor, you go to the casting because you personally have no problem with kissing another man. What still surprises me is actors saying they were not as open-minded when they started filming but understand the conflict much better now after they were acting it out and can even imagine falling for someone with the same gender. I thought every one of them doesn't care, but I guess they do.

What really disgusted me in the video "BL: Broken Fantasy" was when this director was talking about the camera man turning away to vomit when the BL leads would kiss. I have no words for how disgusting, inhumane and respectless this is. He even said, the whole crew tends to be homophobic which is like what the f**k?! And he added, he was surprised when he was shooting a film with a japanese crew that offended no one which is so low standard, it's sad. No wonder the atmosphere between the actors and crew behind the scenes looks tense and not that close.

Fanservice

So, here's the problem I've been thinking about for some time now because it's the most viewable one and appears everywhere. I hate fanservice. I just want a normal boring interview with the actors and I'm happy but I stopped watching interviews with BL leads because it's packed with so much wannabe-cutesy fanservice, it's actually uncomfortable. What I don't like about it is that it looks so forced and fake. You can tell just by watching they are only doing it because the contracts say so. They gain money - and I don't believe it's just a bit - to make the fans happy. It's just a part of the promotion but it leads to many problematic situations with fans. I'm not saying Hollywood is much different. During the red carpet shows are so many screaming, crying and fading fans, it's ridicolous. I'm not such a fan and will never be because I don't sympathize with this kind of cult. But at least I feel like Hollywood kind of protects their stars more. In the BL industry the fans can get very close and the promotion is more about the shipping couple than the show itself which causes these big personality cults I already addressed here.

I have two examples: MaxTul and SaintZee. They are not so different when it comes to fanservice but their chemistries are not comparable. MaxTul seem to care about each other whereas SaintZee don't seem to be very close. MaxTul have fun and much of it is fanservice which gets cut into cringey edits on YT but they have a vibe. They look each other in the eyes and know what the other thinks - at least, I have the feeling they do. Their whole friendship looks honest and healthy. In contrast, SaintZee were pretending a lot. It's pretty clear, it was all for the fanservice. They touched so much, it hurt because they wanted to please the production company and follow their contract and out of fear to do something wrong, they overdid it. And then, they had a fallout which wasn't very surprising, because I believe the atmosphere between them was very tense and all that touching was too much.

End

In conclusion, I hope things will change but it's such a long process, it's gonna take years. Now the BL industry doesn't look very bright in my eyes and it's gonna take a while to convince me otherwise. So, I decided for myself that I can consume the shows but won't care about the promotion any more.

I was too close to quit watching yesterday to just ignore it. I got mad again while writing this so I'm just gonna say, I will definetely watch "lovely writer" and "call it what you want" until the end because I wanna know more about this. I wanna know more about what happens behind the scenes.

Anyway, I hope I haven't turned your mood down 🙃

[himitsukki]

𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙖 𝙠𝙚𝙞 // 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙩

warnings: none! (now edited <333)

wc: 1,927

happy birthday, my little flirefly.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

when you first met tsukishima kei, you thought he was an asshole.

now, as your boyfriend of almost two years, he’s still an asshole… that you love.

it always comes off as a surprise when you inform people about your relationship, because, quite frankly, you both seem like polar opposites: you’re a person who can calm people’s hearts with just your presence. you always try to  offer help, and you try your best to be nice, because you know the world needs it. and, it’s always free of charge.

tsukishima, on the other hand…

“i told that bastard to get away from you at lunch.“

“kei!“ you scold him with his name. “i told you before, he’s not doing anything bad!“ your boyfriend continues to complain about your classmate who “keeps staring at you”, ranting so fast that you can barely understand his words through the sounds of the video chat.

despite the fact that he always picks the video chat option over the voice call whenever he calls you at night, it’s almost always just him doing his homework, with his phone leaned against the wall, or him doing his chores from around the house, with the back camera on and his phone tucked into the waistband of his shorts; you can’t recall having a total “proper” one-on-one video chat with him, with your phones directly in front of you and replicating a face-to-face conversation .

you’ve grown accustommed to his antics, however, and grown to love how it feels so domestic to just casually ask each other about your days. you even keep track of his chores in the tsukishima hoursehold, especially after the incident when his mother told him to turn the oven off after fifteen minutes and he forgot because he was in the middle of arguing what the correct answer was to that day’s homework.

you’re currently folding laundry on your bed and decided that while you’re at it, you’ll reorganize your entire wardrobe. you had your phone rested on top of two pillows and leaned against the headboard, you took a seat by the lower half of the bed to have you visible in your camera, but with various clothes thrown atop your sheets and pillows and even draping on your headboard, you’ve lost sight of your phone. you can only hear the slightly muffled voice of your boyfriend, now that it’s buried somewhere deep in your clothes.

“hurry up already, we still have homework to do.“

“i’m sorrryy!“ you whined, quickening your pace at folding your shirts into a neat pile. “i don’t know why i even decided to do this, this is a complete waste of time.”

“at least your closet will be organized,“ he tries to reason. you whine that it’ll only stay that way for a couple of weeks, and he tells you you’re an idiot because you’ll be the one at fault for that.

“just the jackets and sweatshirts left, then i’ll be done,“ you inform him after a few minutes of silence. it’s not rare for the two of you to be silent while calling each other; both of you actually enjoy the silence, and neither of you feel obligated to fill the silence with talking, especially if it’s just about nonsense. it’s just nice that he’s still with you despite the day having ended and that he’s one bus ride away from you.

“do you still have that jacket? the one i gave you when you dug out my closet a few weeks ago?“

“uhh...” you ruffle through the remaining clothes on top of your bed. “is it the purple one? with the cresent moon at the—“

“—back of the hood? yeah.“ you fished out the said jacket and tried it on, enjoying the impossibly soft material that’s only possible through years of constant wearing. 

it fits perfectly.

“it still bothers me how ten year old you and current me most likely have the same size.“

“you’re just small and short,“ he snorts. “i bet it’s even slightly loose on you, especially at the sleeves.“

“yeah,“ you agree as you pull the cuff of the sleeve to their maximum potential without stretching the fabric too much. “it’s hanging just a little bit past the tips of my fingers.“

“you’re forever a shortcake, [name].“

“listen, i never asked to be short, okay?“ you complain, but you can’t deny that you’re smiling as you joke around with your boyfriend.

it’s beyond comforting that he’d given you his clothing from his childhood. you didn’t even ask for it (as you do with his other clothing), but you remember organizing his closet and seeing a pile of clothes that he “kept” from childhood, and when you asked him about it, he pulled out what he said was his favorite,  gave it to you with a teasing smirk and said “you’d definitely fit in this.“

“hey,“ he starts. “hurry up.“ you dismiss him by sticking out your tongue even though you know he doesn’t see you, but tsukishima knows you too much to actually do that reaction, then scolds you for being childish while teasing you about doing that even he can’t even see it.

“heeeeey.” he drags. “it’s almost nine pm.”

“i know, i only have the jackets left. sorry,” you mumbled a genuine apology, aware that tsukishima’s tired from class and volleyball practice. how he’s able to balance being a student athlete while claiming to “not care about the sport”, you’ll never know.

“hey,” he starts once again.

“last two jackets, i promise—“

“i love you.“ you nearly drop the last jacket from your hands and look over where your phone is, finally locating it with it’s screen facing the sheets; his voice was low and muffled, but you heard it loud and clear. slowly, you reached for your phone, turned it over and see him properly facing the camera, his head turned to the side with his eyes checking up his screen for your reaction every few seconds.

“that’s unfair, you’re telling me that over call? and i wasn’t even in the video chat?“

“it’s rare that i even tell you ‘i love you’ and you complain about it?” he asks, his voice monotonous but his lips growing into a small that you’ve only seen him do when he’s really happy. “unbelievable.“

“i’m done with the clothes,“ you announce, placing your phone back to its initial spot as you transfer the piles of clothes back into your closet.

“great, it only took you almost an hour, congrats shortcake.“

“thanks, asshole. you’re the best boyfriend ever.“

the night continues on with doing your homework together (and fighting over which formula to use because you’re in different classes and have different teachers, for some reason) and just before you get ready for sleep, you let the call run a little longer as you do your night time routine.

“do you actually do this everyday?“ he asks when you tell him every step of your skincare routine. “i only do the basics. that’s so tiring to do everyday.”

“you’re complaining and you’re not even the one doing it… ‘kay then.“ you jokingly roll your eyes at him as you gently pat your final layer of moisturizer on your skin. “at least i’m taking care of my skin. they’re a wonderful organ.“

“okay, weirdo.“

he proceeds to continually pester you to go to bed as it’s almost eleven, and you both have to get up at five so you can meet up an hour later at his house (his mom adores you) and walk to school together, but you ignore him and his groans of complaint as you slow your pace to annoy him even further (then he threatens to end the call, so you run to your bedroom and flop down on your bed immediately.)

“end the call. i’m tired, i wanna sleep.“

“you know you’re suppossed to go all “nooo, i don’t wanna end the call” or “you end the call, hehe” right, kei?“ he glares at you through the screen, and you can only laugh in response since his cheeks are squished on one side of his face as  he’s lying down on his side. instead of intimidating, he looks adorable.

“i’m too tired to even lift a finger,“ he says as he closes his eyes. for almost a minute, you let the call drag on, enjoying the comforting sound of his breathing and the sight of his relaxed face.

it’s rare enough to see him so unguarded and at ease; it’s in moments like these where you continuously remind yourself to appreciate and be thankful of every little thing in your relationship. 

that being said…

“hey,“ you start. he hums a reply, but you won’t take that as an answer.

“hey,“ you start once again.

“what? i was already enjoying the silenc—“

“i love you.” the second you see his eyes open, you rush to greet him a goodnight as best as you can without giggling before immediately ending the call and muting your notifications for that app until five am.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

tomorrow starts smoothly with a wake-up call from tsukishima, your monring already complete with the sight of his bloated face and crusty eyes. he knows that you don’t care about his appearance, so he lets you see his worst visuals (in your eyes, however, he’s still unfairly handsome with all of that.)

you quickly got ready for the day; time flew by fast, and soon you’re ringing the doorbell at his gate, waving and greeting at his mom (who’s also the same thing) and greeting your boyfriend a good morning by taking out his (well, now your) jacket from last night.

he eyes you as you put it on. he’s unable to surpress his smile when he sees that the sleeves are, indeed, hanging a bit past your fingertips.

“i told you, you’re be forever a shortcake.”

“you’ve called me "shortcake” so many times, it doesn’t really mean like an insult anymore,“ you noted out loud, looking up at him through your lashes. "it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.”

“well you are a shortcake, shortcake.”

“annoying,” you playfully chide him with a roll of your eyes. at that action, he scoffs and grabs you by the sleeves, pulling you closer and reminding you to bring out your (matching) headphones since he’ll be plugging in the audio splitter.

“what do you wanna listen to?” you hum as you think about it, but tell him to go for whatever he feels like.

you let the clean tones from the guitar relax you, enveloping you in an atmosphere where you feel like you’re starring in an anime or some kind of movie. honestly, you feel as you are in one, because you know your type of  relationship isn’t all that usual, complete opposites and all. 

with the leaves turning orange and falling slowly around you, the visuals only supplement the atmosphere, the song sounding like the OST to your and tsukishima’s story.

suddenly, you feel his finger nudging itself between the gaps of your fingers and trapping one of them in it’s grasp. looking down, you see his pinky bent at the joints to hold your little finger captive. it’s shaped like a crescent. 

looking up, you see him audibly clearing his throat, awkwardly looking away when he sees you noticing. the faint blush on his cheeks makes you laugh, and you feel the atmosphere increase tenfold.

you’ll happily be in any movie, only if it’s him by your side.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ 

m.list

[starmakerdotcom]

summary : peach doubts himself once again.

characters : kwon baekhan , han jaeyi , rest of botanica ensemble mentioned (side note ; daniel’s korean name is jiwon and elliot’s is hanryeol , which is who jaeyi is referring to)

genre : tryna be angst but once again i cannot write angst but i tried

warnings : they say shit like twice , implied mental illness ?? maybe ?? he lowkey has a mini panic attack at the start . i don’t know if you can think of a better way to put it lmk also if u have a problem w the way i’m portraying this pls dm me !!! i’m always looking to learn more and i don’t wanna offend anyone <33

words : 1.5k

[ july 2019 , 1:34 am , SMK building rooftop ]

baekhan burst through the doors from the stairwell, immediately taking a gulping breath, taking in as much fresh air into his lungs as he could. he couldn’t breathe, he felt suffocated, like the roof was caving in around him. he needed fresh air, he needed to go outside, away from everything for just a minute.

he knew jaeyi would come looking for him eventually, he just needed a break, to get away from everything around him that made him feel like he wasn’t good enough.

take a break! jaeyi would say, you’re pushing yourself too much, you’ll regret it when you get hospitalized by passing out from exhaustion. that was ridiculous, he’d know when to stop himself. we can come back tomorrow! they’d say, but by that time it already was tomorrow, so he might as well stay the rest of the night, right? he was debuting in two weeks- oh god, he wasn’t ready for that. the others didn’t have to work as hard because they were gifted, naturally talented, and good enough to debut already. they didn’t understand that baekhan didn’t belong here. he was a fraud, he shouldn’t have made it as far as he did.

a fraud, untalented, not worthy, a fraud, a fraud, a fraud.

baekhan made his way over to the ledge, gripping onto the rail as his way of keeping himself grounded. the cold midnight breeze and the view of the entire city below him was strangely comforting. he exhaled for what felt like the first time in an hour, and just stood there for a second, his elbows supporting his body as he leaned on the railing, trying to clear his mind.

he hated the fact that he just got up and left instead of trying to calm down. even when he couldn’t breathe and it felt like the panelled ceiling of the practice room was falling and caving on top of him, running away from his problems wasn’t gonna fix them. bolting out of the practice room and hiding wasn’t gonna do anything, it just made him look like a coward.

he lowered his head, trying to calm his shaky breathing and trying to take his mind off the fact that the word kept dancing around in his head. fraud, fraud, fraud.

baekhan wasn’t that hard to find. after jaeyi convinced tian to go back to the dorm and sleep after he snuck out for much longer than he was supposed to, the rooftop was one of the first places he checked. although he was deathly afraid of heights and his legs shook every time he went up there, jaeyi had to somehow convince him to come back down and go back to the dorm with him.

he breathed a sigh of relief when he carefully pushed open the door to the roof and saw baekhan standing near the edge, leaning on the rail.

“baek?” he called as he made his way over to where the older stood, trying to block out the sound of cars rushing below them that made his head spin. baekhan whipped his head around quickly, but softened seeing it was just jaeyi. his eyes looked puffy.

“shouldn’t you be back at the dorm?” he asked.

“i came to look for you, you know i wouldn’t go back without you.”

“i know my way back,” baekhan replied cooly, “or are you trying to make sure i don’t off myself.”

jaeyi hesitated, “kind of? anyway- i’m talking you back to the dorm now. you need rest.”

baekhan sighed, “can we just stay out here for a minute? i need some fresh air, i promise i’ll come back after.”

jaeyi gulped, surpressing the urge to projectile vomit down the side of the building onto an unsuspecting driver below for the sake of his friend. “yeah, we can stay for a minute. i’m staying with you to make sure you come back.”

surprisingly, baekhan nodded in compliancy. “that’s fine,” he replied, turning around to slide down to a sitting position with the rail supporting his back, “i just need a minute.”

jaeyi sat down next to him, and the two sat in silence for a few minutes. although jaeyi was worrying about the possibility of the rail somehow giving way from the weight of the two scrawny boys and sending them tumbling over the edge, to eventually land in a sad pile as a gift to some poor pedestrian that just so happened to be walking at the wrong time.

“is there anything that’s bothering you? you don’t have to tell me, i just don’t want you to keep everything from me- i guess?” jaeyi asked.

“nothing that you can really help with,” baekhan mumbled.

“well- just tell me what’s on your mind, please? i might not be able to help, but maybe having someone listen will make it better?”

baekhan sighed, “maybe. it’s kind of complicated though.”

“try me,” jaeyi replied confidently.

nervously drumming his fingers on the concrete of the ground, he quickly said, “i’m not ready to debut.”

jaeyi blinked, “you’re being serious?” when baekhan nodded quickly, he continued, “you’re more ready than all five of us combined, where’d you get that from?”

“...because i’m not ready?” baekhan looked at jaeyi like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “have you seen my dancing? daniel has tried to help me so many times, and i’m still a horrible dancer. i don’t know how he’s so patient when i want to punch myself in the face every time i mess up the choreography.”

“i think your dancing is good...” jaeyi said quietly before baekhan continued, his eyes glossy from welling tears.

“i’m not ready, i don’t want to debut yet, i don’t even deserve to be here. you and daniel try to help, straighten your back, stick this move with your arms, chest out, neck straight, and i can’t fucking get it. i don’t know why i’m here. i’d probably be working at a fast food restaurant or something if i wasn’t here. i don’t deserve it, i’m not talented enough, i’m a fraud.”

jaeyi stiffened, not sure how to respond. he felt horrible knowing that his friend was going through this right under his nose and he had no clue. this wasn’t the confident, talented baekhan jaeyi thought he knew when he joined the company a few months prior. seeing him in a weak, vulnerable state like this filled him with an intense feeling of sonder. everyone around him, although they may have appeared fine, were living their own set of problems right underneath the surface that no one, or just a select few people even know about. but one thing was for sure, if kwon baekhan was anything, a fraud was most definitely not one of those things.

“you’re not a fraud,” jaeyi replied, and quickly added, “never were, and never will be.”

“you might think so,” baekhan quickly wiped a few stray tears away that had leaked down his cheeks and lowered his head again, letting his hair obscure part of his face, “i feel like it though. don’t bother asking why. i don’t know but i also do know.”

“i see,” jaeyi nodded slowly, “sorry- i’ve never been good with stuff like this.”

“no, it’s okay, it was actually good to get that off my chest, actually. i’ve never really said any of that out loud to anyone before,” baekhan reassured the younger.

“well- if you ever need to get anything else off your chest, come to me,” jaeyi said, “or jiwon, or sangwoo- eh no maybe not sangwoo, hanryeol- eh- tian- eh? maybe? me or jiwon would probably be your best bet, actually.”

baekhan laughed, and when he saw that jaeyi was starting to yawn, he said, “should we head back now? it’s late.”

“yeah, no shit it’s late,” jaeyi laughed with him, already starting to get up, “if you’re ready to go back, then yeah. i’d love to get off of this roof.”

“right,” baekhan followed, standing up as well. he almost felt lighter, like he could stand slightly straighter now, “that was refreshing.”

“you need sleep, i swear, have you seen yourself?” baekhan touched his face at that, and although he couldn’t see himself he could practically feel the dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep he’d gotten that past week.

“before we go back, c’mere,” jaeyi held his arms out, and when baekhan cautiously scooted closer, he grabbed him and enveloped him in a tight hug, baekhan immediately stiffening.

“you smell like sweat,” baekhan laughed, crinkling his nose.

“so do you,” jaeyi replied, “and can you please come to me next time you’re having trouble with something?”

“i’ll try,” baekhan mumbled into the taller boy’s chest, “oh god, what would i do without you, i swear.”

“ew, enough of that sappy shit- let’s get back now, or i’ll pass out in the elevator on the way back!” jaeyi said, loosening his grip around the shorter boy’s torso.

as the two boys walked off the roof and down to the elevator, baekhan felt a strange sense of relief that he hadn’t felt in what felt like years. and the rest of the night he’d stay up thinking- what in the world did he ever do to deserve a friend like han jaeyi?

[flickityfics]

The walk was absolutely silent for Sokka. Zuko was so stiff and awkward yet it was kind of adorable if we're being honest here. This dangerous violent guy was something else but Sokka couldn't let that sway him. It could all just be a ploy to stay under the radar and capture Aang. He had to things out of this fire nation scum and honestly his new predicament was a great blessing in disguise, he'll have to put his research to a back burner to unravel this teens's plans.

"So, I'm Miyuki from the southern water tribe." Sokka figured he didn't have to lie to elaborately.

"Um Lee, me and my uncle are refugees just trying to keep safe and have a peaceful place to stay." Zuko revealed. He wasn't really lying, he was tired of exhausting himself for his father, his honor, he just wanted to stop and be left alone peacefully serving tea at his uncle's tea shop.

"I understand that, the Fire Nation drove my family from our home to. They killed my mother, drove my father to join the war causing me to be left alone and leaving my village to take care of me til I left on my own." Sokka didn't want reveal having a sister or his gran gran. It would just be more complicated.

Zuko could only feel guilt and more anger towards his father and grandfather, they caused this to happen to this innocent girl and so many others and yet his nation also went along with them and saw no problem with this and let it happen anyways.

"They took my mother from me to." He admitted wanting to show Miyuki she wasn't so alone and needing to say it for himself. He needed to quit denying what suspicions he had of his father having a hand in driving her away.

Sokka looked at the somber looking fire bender and was shocked to keep seeing a different side of this teen. He felt his heart soften just a bit. He never thought of Zuko having any hardships honestly and if even he's being hurt by his father and fire nation then why fight for them? Why go on these violent rampages for Aang? Fire prince Zuko was such a mystery to him. He needed to push a bit more.

"I hate the Fire Nation. They're violent and scary." Sokka waited with his head down, hoping to come off as afraid to see how Zuko would respond.

Zuko gritted his teeth in anger but it quickly steamed into sadness. His family and nation caused this fear and loneliness into this girl he thought defeatedly.

"Well not all fire nation people think like the rest, they're just as afraid of their own nation sadly plus you wouldn't put all that hate on a fire nation child who isn't taught any better would you?" Zuko surprised himself with all that came from his own mouth. His Uncle was right, he's always surpressing himself and never expressing the things he needs to acknowledge.

"I-I never thought of it like that. You're right though, I guess I was being selfish and hateful towards the fire nation when I never bothered to see how it looks from the other side. But could you really blame me? It takes alot to forgive and strength to get past something like that, thank you for the eye opener still I wouldn't mind more talks like this with you."

"I understand. And ok." Zuko never had someone who genuinely wanted to listen to his opinions or feelings well besides his uncle and mother but this was different, they were family. He anxiously rubbed the back of his neck nervous to talk more to Miyuki yet happy to be able to have a girl maybe liking him? and showing actual interest unlike what he had with Mai. Miyuki was scary but refreshing and emotional and wild, he knows he feels an attraction to her but he doesn't know what to do with that annoyingly enough.

"Perfect." Sokka smiled up at Zuko. "Hey Lee, can I ask a question?"

"Sure." Zuko whispered turning red from the smile he was receiving.

"Are you a fire bender?" He questioned.

"Ah, no." Zuko's eyes widened in fear.

'Ah, guess he's not ready to reveal that just yet' Sokka thought.

"Then how did this happen?" Sokka then reached his hand to Zuko's scar lightly tracing it from his eye to the back of his ear.

"Please." This was to overwhelming for him, to fast he thought shutting shut his eyes to hold back his pain and shame.

Sokka's heart was breaking watching a lone tear trail down from Zuko's scarred eye. Things were starting to change his opinion about this confusing and broken fire prince.

He hesitantly reached out and wrapped his arms around the fire bender.

"Hush now Lee, you don't have to say anything you're not ready for."

Zuko regretfully pulled himself from Miyuki's arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm just sensitive about my scar. It's ugly." He sighed hating to admit his distaste for his disfigurement.

"No its not, I think it looks cool and wanna hear something that's inappropriate for girls to say?" Sokka didn't know where the line was anymore from flirting as a girl or having it genuinely coming from himself.

All Zuko could offer was a nod already shocked at his scar being something to be cool let alone hearing something inappropriate from a girl, it was unheard of.

"I wouldn't mind tracing along your entire scar with my tongue, giving gentle love bites all over it along with playful kisses to your face." 'shit' Sokka knew this was going weirdly fast and far, probably best to tone this way down.

"I-I" Zuki had no words to say, he felt hot all over and struck still.

"Hey Lee, we're here. Thanks for the walk back."

Hearing Miyuki's voice brought him back to action, he didn't even realize they finished walking let alone at what time he started to hold her hand. "Yeah, looks like that it seems. Uh.. have a goodnight?" He questioned, he had alot of things to question on his own way walk back to the tea shop.

"You too, I'll try to see you tomorrow after my errands." Sokka hurriedly walked away into the inn to his room never looking back once at zuko. He collapsed face down on the bed internally screaming, 'and why are my girl parts throbbing again?!?! What is this?!' Sokka just stayed in bed waiting for sleep to come since he had no idea what to do with this problem. It's probably best to write another letter to Suki again and the gaang now that he thought it about but after some sleep.

[wordlessbabbling]

“In the garden I will die. In the roses they will kill me. I was going, mother, to pick roses, to find death.”

Polly Gray Story

Anonymous request

Warnings: period typical racism, swearing, mentions death and disease, angst.

Inspired by the poem: To this Day

Masterlist

She has been through hell.

So believe me when I say,

Fear her,

When she looks into the fire and smiles.

Polly looked down through her glass, past her cigarette, to the folded piece of paper on her desk.

Thomas had put it there. Walked in, slid it across the desk and left. Leaving with the feeling he’d just cursed his aunt to eternal turmoil.

She knew what was in the note. She knew exactly what it was about. She took a final swig of her drink and ripped open the folds.

Maybe if Polly’s God smiled down on her more, then she’d know the colour of her daughters hair.

She read the lines twice before taking her cigarette and pushing it into the words. Leaving it to smoke in the ash tray.

Without another word, she got up and left.

——

Polly approached the brown door with skittish feverance. The weather was humid and suffocating, the people of Small Heath always walked like zombies, but today you could just smell the rotting.

Polly put a bright smile on her face, today was the day that she got her life back. The other piece of her whole world.

She knocked on the door and on the other side she heard calls and lovesick giggles.

The woman who opened the door had dark brown, unruly hair. Her eyes were wide in warm brown doe eyed shape. Polly smiled at the woman, taking in her features. Lastly, the woman had a long scar, that covered the left side of her face, from her temple to her chin.

“Anna Gray?”

The woman sniffed, “Anna Clive-Wright.”

Polly pursed her lips to surpress a smile, she was married.

Maybe she didn’t recognise Polly?

“You’re my daughter, I’m Polly Gray. You were take-“ Polly tried.

“I know who you are. I know exactly who you are.” Anna sighed exasperatedly.

“I heard... you were taken to... Australia? You had spring fever?” Polly attempted to gain traction in the conversation.

“Yes. Yes I did have spring fever. I remember during my recovery- I remember the time I put my feet on the ground for the first time in weeks. I threw roses into the abyss and I’d say: ‘here is to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.’Some days I wish I’d died.

“I wish something would have taken me away. ‘Cause some nights, Polly, some nights; all I wanna know is that I’m not fucking crazy for feeling the way I feel, after going through all that bullshit that I’ve been through!” Anna slammed her fist against the doorframe.

“What are you talking about, Anna? They aren’t nothing but savages over there. Killers.” Polly furrowed her brows with concern.

“It’s Mrs Clive-Wright, thanks. They aren’t savages, not really. And killers? Really Polly? That’s rich coming from a Shelby. We’re all killers. We’ve all killed parts of ourselves to survive. We’ve all got blood on our hands. Somewhere, something had to die. So we could stay alive.” Anna looked down at Polly with a glare to send a vipers nest fleeing.

Polly matched her stare. One might think the two were related if one looked hard enough. They were, but only one party believed so.

“You have a family here, Anna. Us Shelby’s stick together. They’ll love you- I’ll love you. Like I’ve done for all these years! You were taken, I never got the chance to love you properly.” Polly’s eyes widened in pleading while Anna’s squinted in disgust.

“Family, eh? How dare you talk about family in front on me. How many sons and daughters have you Shelby’s cut? Huh? How many family’s have you torn a part? How dare you come here and talk about family.” Anna snarled.

“...What did they do to you over there?” Polly shook her head. She didn’t know what went wrong. Where did she fail?

“This isn’t ‘bout what they did to me! This is what you- you and your Shelby- Peaky bastards did!” She had strong features that looked like they’d never broken once, “somedays I wish I’d have died. I wish the sickness had devoured me whole, or at least in my head, so I could pretend all this- all this SHIT- wasn’t really real.” She waved her arms around flamboyantly, scoffing at the irony. “However, if I’d have died, I’d never have met my husband; and if I’d never have met my husband, I wouldn’t have had my son... But then again, I wouldn’t have lost my son, either.”

Polly understood now. She put the pieces together and felt a new sense of guilt. There was low-hanging tension in the air. It was held down by sorrow and weighted with tears only a mother could cry.

“How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we never became, Polly?” Anna was staring past Polly. She didn’t want to see the tears in her mother’s eyes, nor the tracks they’d leave down her face, no. “That’s right. We don’t. So don’t come here, knocking on my doorstep, invading my home. Don’t come here raving about losing sons and daughters and love, all the while you’ve created losses in others. This world isn’t a meritocracy. You can’t kill mothers sons until no one has any left. Leaving you to finally take the crown of the best mum of the year.”

The sound of heavy footsteps on floorboards invaded the silence, “everything alright here Anna?” A big burly man with a slight limp and kind face appeared next to Anna, kissing her chastely on the cheek.

Anna places a hand on his chest “of course, James. Go put the kettle on for me will you?”

“For how many?” James looked up at the Shelby woman, taken aback by the celebrity appearance.

“Just us, love.” She kissed his cheek and he limped away slowly.

The silence crept in again, “Husband?” Polly asked.

“Husband.” Anna confirmed. “Y’know Polly, life can be cruel. I don’t believe Michael and I should have been taken, but I do believe you should never have parented us. I have this mark that takes up a little less than half my face. Kids at school used to say I looked like a wrong answer someone tried to erase, but couldn’t quite get the job done.” Anna scoffed.

“Anna, I love you and I just-“ Polly was near sobbing at this point.

“I remember growing up and believing that I’d be lonely forever. That I’d never meet someone. To make me feel like the sun was something they’d built in their work room, just for me.”

Anna sniffed again, her breathing was jagged and wavering. Her voice was rising slowly, “I emptied myself of everything I held dear. So I felt nothing- don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone. That an ingrown life is something Doctors can cut away. That there’s no way for it to metastasise? Of course, it does!” Her voice was scratchy and feral, she snarled like a wolf who saw a bear take its food.

“Anna, I just want my daughter back.” Polly pleaded.

Anna roared, “and I want my FUCKING son back!”

The door slammed shut, and Polly was left to wilt on the other side. She put a hand to her mouth but made no attempt to stifle her sobs. She placed her hand on the door like she could reach through and touch her daughters face.

The fight was over and the matriarch lost. For years onwards, insomnia would plague her mind, as it romanticised the idea of the stars and made the moon seem like perfect company.

Polly was tougher after that. Smiles rarely spouted and her eyes never twinkled in the sun. She screamed and screamed at Thomas that day. Cursing him for the business and all he had to say.

Years on, she’d never forgive herself, she though of her daughter as her head went through the noose that her nephew placed.

...and when I greet death; I hope it’s gentle. I hope it’s like going home.

——

Thanks for the request! They really keep me motivated and give me something to do.

Thanks for the love.

Feedback and comments are wanted.

See ya next time!

[secondhand-trash]

Freddy Freeman(Shazam!)- Art Exchange

A/N: Nobody asked for this but here is another fic I wrote out of impulse. This is inspired by something similar that happened to my friend and the biggest struggle I had when I wrote this was probably the fact that I have no idea how American schools work lol

Description: Drawing exaggerated pictures of your teachers is a part of high school culture and you had fully embraced it as a part of your school life. You just didn’t expect someone to actually see it, let alone replying to it with an even more comedic doodle.

Wordcount: 2166

Playlist:

Young Volcanos//Fall Out Boy

Check Yes Juliet//We The Kings

Something You Want//Against the Current

You couldn’t help it. Mathematics was boring and the teacher’s monotone lecture did not help keeping you awake at all. Scribbling on your desk was your last attempt at trying to stop your eyelids from closing and to your surprise, it worked. From that moment onwards, you always mindlessly dribble on the corner of your desk in class, occasionally looking up to pretend that you are actually listening. By the time you leave class, half of the wood surface would be covered in graphite strokes, most of which consisted of portraits of your maths teacher.

Sorry Mr Martin, but your round head and goatee was too cartoonish and easy to visualize.

Normally, you would make sure to erase all the doodles on your desk before leaving the room. But your friend had been rambling about this new movie and as you two continued with the conversation after the bell rang, you completely forgot about the markings on the school property.

Your mistake ended up being a delightful surprise for another poor kid who was stuck in the exact same situation as you did.

Freddy tried, he really did but he hated this subject with his whole heart. Why did the school think it was a good idea to ask you to calculate the volume of a pool when no person in their right mind would purchase a goddamn pool without knowing its measurements?

He was quick to notice that something was off about his usual seat the moment he walked pass the door. Taking a more careful look at the patterns on the desk as he sat down, he instinctively pressed his hand to his lips to cover up the snicker that would have drawn too much unwanted attention as more pupils started entering the room. On the corner of his desk was a figure that somehow resembles an egg but with a goatee. He didn’t have to take another glance to know that said egg was their beloved teacher, completely unaware that he had been immortalized in his student’s masterpiece as he handed out the new assignment.

Whoever did this was a genius, Freddy thought to himself as he scanned through the other amusing doodles on the desk. He reached into his bag and scrambled for a pencil, scribbling away while trying to surpress the large grin on his face.

“Mr Freeman? Mr Freeman, are you listening?”

Shit. “Yes Mr Martin?”

“Tell me, what is the answer to this question?”

“Oh crap.”

“What if he saw it?” You nervously said to your friend as you two made a turn down the hallway.

“It’s gonna be fine,” your friend said, clearing annoyed after hearing you went on about how much trouble you would be in if Mr Martin found out about the little artwork you made of him in class. Drawing in class, on school property AND making fun of your teacher? God knows how many days of detention this could cost you.

You sighed in relieve as Mr Martin did not even turn to look at you when you walked in. You walked straight to your seat to see that all the doodles were still there. Picking up an eraser to remove all hints of your crime, you noticed something that wasn’t there before. Right next to the egg(aka cartoon Mr Martin) you drew was the figure of a man being tied up. The corner of your lips tucked up into a smirk as you saw that the man was tied up by his very, very long facial hair. Whoever left this here clearly paid more attention to the teacher’s goatee more than they did to class like you did.

“Nice drawings, bought me more fun than maths ever did. Hope you don’t mind my little addition:)”

Looking at the scrawled handwriting below the figure, you grinned. You erased the existing drawings on the table and started making another one, all while thinking of a message that you could leave for the person who would be sitting there later on.

Needless to say, you were thrilled when you got back to the seat the following day to see that you actually got a reply.

You never thought that you would ever say this in your entire lifetime but you started really looking forward to maths class. Every time you walked into the classroom, you checked the table for new drawings and messages immediately and you were never disappointed. Your anonymous friend always pulled through and the stuff that appeared on the wooden surface only got weirder and weirder, so weird that you found yourself smiling uncontrollably when you look at them in class. (”What exactly are you smiling at?” “Oh, nothing. Just my love for algebra, Mr Martin.”)

Your friends teased you about it, saying that you looked like a fool in love when you grin at your desk. To that, you shrugged. You never showed them the doodles and you weren’t planning to, much to their curiosity and annoyance. Somehow, you wanted the whole exchange to be a secret between you and the other person involved. The idea that you had an unspoken bond with someone you had not met gave you an odd sense of excitement.

That was until one day you entered the classroom with your usual anticipation and found nothing but your own handwriting, not even a single word next to the lines you made.

You tried to continue leaving little drawings and notes here and there on your desk everyday but you were met with the same disappointment when you check in on the markings the next day.

“I don’t get it! What happened? They didn’t say anything, they just vanished like they fell of the surface of the earth! Are they ok? Are they angry at me for anything I might have done? Are they still alive? What if-”

“Can you please calm down?” You friend yelled, throwing the fork down onto the tray and earning the both of you a few glances from the people sitting near your table, “That person does not even know who you are!”

“Well, I know!” You snapped back, “But there must be a reason as to why they suddenly stop replying! It makes no sense!”

You friend rolled their eyes and continued munching on their food, deciding that letting you express your frustration might be a wiser idea than putting any form of rationality in your head.

Little did you know, the same conversation was unfolding in the far corner of the cafeteria.

“I should have left my number!” Freddy sighed, “And now there’s no way I would ever find out who my art buddy is!”

“I mean, I get your frustration but maybe don’t take it out on your food? The mashed potato is innocent, ya’know?” Billy said in amusement as his brother let out another muffled groan, “Mr Martin wouldn’t have forced you to sit in the front row if you at least tried to pretend that you were paying attention, just saying.”

“You are no help.”

“Have you ever thought of waiting before class starts to see who’s the one in that seat?”

“First of all, that sounds creepy.” The shorter boy folded his arms in front of his chest, “Second, what am I supposed to do after that? Walk up to that person and be like ‘Hey, I’m the weirdo who you had been bonding with through our mutual mocking towards our teacher, wanna be friends?’”

“I thought you want to know who the person is?”

“Well yeah,” Freddy said, "but the thought of actually being around them in real life kinda scares me. Can’t we just go back to how things used to be? When I can pretend to be cool by hiding under the facade of my excellent art?”

“How so very confident of you, if only you have as much confidence when you are facing real people.”

“What class are we having?” You friend asked, desperately trying to change the subject. Your rambling carried on after you two finished lunch and they were slowly losing patience.

“History.”

“Damn it! Really? I forgot about the essay we are supposed to hand in! I’m so fucked...”

You mockingly laughed, “Same, but the difference between me and you is that I was smart enough to check my schedule when I got to school this morning so I managed to finish it in maths class.”

Reaching into you bag, you search for your paper and your smirk slowly fade as you realized that it was no where to be found. “Shit, I must have left it in the drawer.”

“Ha ha, jokes on you. Now we can both get into trouble together.”

You glared at your friend, “I’m gonna go get it back.”

“Are you sure? I think class is about to start.”

“I’ll just say that my stomach hurts and I was at the bathroom. With the quality of the food they are serving here, I’m sure that no one will suspect a thing.”

Freddy mindlessly flicked his pen as he sulked in his new seat. Class was no fun and he could not get away with drawing in class anymore with the teacher right in front of him, watching his every move. He was bored out of his mind when the door opened, he looked up to see an unfamiliar figure standing under the frame. Was this person in his class?

“Sorry Mr Martin, I left something here and I need it for class.” The person quickly entered the room and walked pass Freddy after gaining a nod of approval from the teacher. His gaze followed them and his eyes widened in shock as the person stopped in front of his previous seat, pulling a few sheets of paper out of the drawer. He took a quick glance at the paper when they passed his seat again and felt a comforting sense of familiarity when he saw their handwriting. Freddy smiled, earning him a look of confusion from the maths teacher. “Honestly,” the man thought to himself, slightly regretting putting this kid in the front, “why did I decide to be a teacher in the first place?”

“Hey! Wait up!”

You turned around, the voice stopping you in your track as you were walking out of the school building. Not far from you was a boy walking towards you with a crutch in his hand, clearly trying his best to walk at full speed.

“Do you know him?” Your friend whispered in your ear and you slightly shake your head. As he walked closer, you recognized him as the person who was sitting near the door when you went to get your homework in Mr Martin’s room.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I know you?”

The boy scratched the back of his head, realizing that he might have confused you. “Oh, of course. I almost forgot that you don’t know yet,” he said, not looking you in the eye as he speak, “I used to sit at your seat in maths before I got put in the front.”

You beamed as you finally gathered what the boy was trying to say, “That’s you? So that’s why you suddenly stopped replying! Thank god, I thought you were dead or something.”

“No, not dead, just observed by ‘Mr goatee’ 24/7.” he said and you laughed. He reached out his free hand to you, “I’m Freddy.”

“(y/n).” You said and shaked his hand, “I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you in person. I’ve missed you... I mean, talking to you... Like, drawing ‘talking’...” You felt your face burn as everything you said sounded so creepy and you gave your friend a sharp glare as you heard the snickering.

“I missed that too.” Freddy looked right at you and you took the first proper look at him. With the sun and the grin on his face, it looked his eyes were twinkling. You cringed as the thought went pass your head and you felt like such a cliché. But this kid actually got unfairly pretty eyes.

“Now that we did the whole ‘awkward first encounter thing’,” He said and darted his gaze away from you again, “maybe we can hang out sometimes? I know this really nice comic book shop in town, if you’re interested that is.”

You smiled, “I love comics.”

His face lit up and you cursed yourself for being so quick to notice that. “So is tomorrow good?”

“Tomorrow’s good.”

“Cool, I’ll see you then.” He gave you another bright smile before leaving and joining another group of people that you assumed to be his family. Still grinning from ear to ear at what happened, you didn’t notice the sly smile on your friend’s face.

“Ooooooooo someone’s got a date.”

“Shut up.”

[omoghouls]

Do ya ever just want an elder to give Tin a task and say no breaks till it’s complete? Poor little ghoulie gets all desperate and squirmy but they don’t wanna deliberately ignore the instructions. Or they get put in an unfamiliar environment we’re they don’t know the others that well and they wanna make a good first impression so they’re too shy to ask where the washrooms are. Poor Tin they overthink and make things so complicated for themselves💔

;0; Y e s???? Like?? 

It wasn't like the hybrid ghoul hadn't seen the white robed ghouls before. Hell, they've worked for their Papa a handful of times when one was unavailable in aid for a translation of a text. Tin knew of the first era ghouls but, they were still shrouded in mystery for the most part. 

Tin hopped off the last step of the old stairs, sending themselves into the beginnings of the basement of the church. They took a deep breath before stepping forward, files and loose papers in their grip as they neared the engraved door.

'Just knock,' the ghoul thought to themselves as they eyed the oak door, slowly they brought a closed fist to the door. Only for the door to slowly creak open. Tin felt their heart leap into their throat as a white robed ghoul emerged, looking from side to side curiously until he glanced down 

"Hello young one, are you lost by any chance? This floor is not to be wandered by,"

"I am here as per request of Papa Emeritus the first," Tin interrupted, already knowing the comment that was to come.

"Ah yes, the hybrid one, if I am not mistaken? Yes, our Papa had mentioned your arrival to aid us in some work," the ghoul paused, standing to the side, "Come in, young one."

Tin gave a small nod as they stepped in, cluching their papers tighter when they came face to face with the four others, who all sat on an weathered couch. It was, strange to see them in such a relaxed position. They hadn't thought of the elder's to even be capable of rest. 

The ghoul's attention was torn back to the present as a clawed hand rested on their shoulder, Tin looked to the elder ghoul who stood behind them.

"Brothers, this is, Tin. They will be assisting us today," the elder explained, gently nudging the smaller ghoul to step forward to the curious ghouls.

"How, how did you know my name?" Tin asked with a small head tilit.

There was a soft collection of chuckles in the room.

"Nothing of the supernatural, not this time. Our Papa told us your name, Tin," the lankier of the four said as they scooted from their spot on the couch.

"O-oh, makes sense, a lot of sense," Tin mumbled, feeling their cheeks flushing a small bit as they stood before them all. 

The standing elder could feel the slight tension coming from the hybrid ghoul, he smiled and cleared his throat, "I am Omega and," he paused, using his finger to point to each other, "that is Terra, Ignis,Aër and Aqua." 

Tin looked to each, "It's a pleasure to meet you all," they politely said.

"It is always nice to meet you as well, we dont have too many guest, even if it work related. Speaking of," Omega began, walking over to the arm chair besides the couch, "The task at hand?"

"The task? Oh! Yes, there was a document Papa had said you have been working on?"

Oh yes, that one," Ignis mused as he stood, vanishing into the joint room, returning a few seconds later with a file, placing it onto the coffee table, "Papa had stated that perhaps a new set of eyes would be best for this translation."

Tin nodded, bending slightly to look at the papers, scanning for a moment.

"Fawn, would you be more comfortable seated?" 

Tin looked up for a moment, the nickname caused their heart to skip a beat, nodding as they stated to sit on the carpeted floor, "You have three grammatical error in the first sentence and an mal translation right here," the ghoul explained, pressing their pointer finger over the scrawled writting as they looked up at the ghouls.

Terra chuckled, "My, glad that you are here to fix our incompetences, but," he paused, plucking the small ghoul from the floor, seating them in the small space between he and the fire ghoul, "The floor is no place for a Scribe such as yourself." The earth ghoul said as the hybrid scooted around. 

"Before we become too infrauled with this, how about something to drink? Tea?" The Omega ghoul asked the hybrid ghoul.

Tin paused for a moment, they had drunken quite a lot before coming down to work. But, they couldnt be rude and refuse the offer. The ghoul nodded, "Yes please."

--

The time slowly ticked on, many murmured musing as the six ghoul's went over the text, making small conversational pleasantries in the small breaks.

Hearing the elder's speak, learning small timbits of their personalities from their comments made Tin feel more at ease to be amoungst them. However, it still felt, odd, awkward to be apart of their normal conversations. Tin shifted in their seat, their heart sinking to their stomach as they felt the tauntingly full sensation from their lower abdomen.

'Why now, oh no.' The ghoul thought to themselves as they fiddled with the ceramic mug on their lap.

Between the conversations, the elder ghoul noticed the fidgeting movements of the younger ghoul.

"Is everything all right, Tin?"

The hybrid quickly looked up with a nod, "Mhm!"

The ghoul blinked slowly at the suspiciously quick response. He hums a small bit, grabbing for the tea kettle, "Perhaps some more tea? Just so we can finish it off."

Tin chewed on their bottom lip, 'Don't be rude, don't be rude' they thought as they held their mug out, their tail wrapping around their ankle as the tea trickled into the cup. The ghoul nodded in thanks and took a small sip to surpress the low whine lodged in their throat.

They should ask where their washroom was, however, they did not want to interpret the work they were doing. They could wait, they had to wait.

It grew to become too difficult to concentrate, the words on the page started to jumble and become incoherent. Tin crossed their ankle together as they regrettably glanced to the now empty mug, their bladder ached lowly, sending warning pangs each second it did not find relief. The ghoul anxiously glanced around before slipping their hand between their trembling thighs, squeezing lightly.

"Tin?" 

Tin gasped lightly, scrambling to place their hands above their cassock, looking to the Omega ghoul, "Y-yes, elder?" 

"Do you happen to have the translation sheets? Papa had mentioned you would have them."

Tin nodded.

"Could you retrieve them for us, please? I believe after we check that we will be finished in this," the elder explained.

The hybrid ghoul nodded once more, weary of speaking, not wanting the wavering in their voice show their desperation. Slowly the ghoul stood, eyes widening as the gravity pushed down on the taunt, bloated bladder. They pressed their lips together, tears beginning to prick in their eyes as they shuffled to their small pile of papers left on the edge of the table.

"Careful!" The fire ghoul called as watch the small ghoul's foot grazed over the cup on the floor.

The comment came a little too late for the ghoul.

Tin let put a surprise yelp as they tripped over the mug, sending them to the ground. The hybrid ghoul let out a soft whimper as they felt their bladder finally letting go. They scrambled to sit up, shoving their hands between their legs in a pathetic attempt to stop the flow. The urine seeped past the fingers, hissing out as the urine saturated the ghoul's slacks and the carpet beneath them.

There was a silence that washed over the room, save for the watery gasp of the hybrid ghoul. Tin felt their vision blur when the sound of foot steps came close to them.

"Oh my,"

Tin felt tears roll down their cheeks as they shakily looked to the elder ghoul.

"I-I'm so-sorry, Elder, I-I didn't, I didn't mean to, I-I," Tin began through beginning sobs.

"Shh, hush now, Fawn. It was an accident, such a small body as yours can not handle as much fluid as we can, no more tears now, what matters is that you did not try to hold it until you injured yourself," the elder ghoul soothingly spoke, running a clawed hand over their shaking back.

Tin scrubbed at their face, trying to hide their tear stained face when the other ghouls walked over, kneeling besides them. 

"Accidents happen to every ghoul, we are not mad, you tried your best to hold it but," the air ghoul  began, "Why hadn't you asked for the facilities?"

The ghoul felt their lip continuing to tremble as they softly spoke, "I-I didn't want to be rude, I wa-want to make a good impression," they admitted.

Tin felt their cheek being cupped by a warm pair of hands, "You do not have to impress us, and, it would not have been rude in the slightest to ask, you have needs just as we do."

The ghoul glanced to the floor, feeling the cooling dampness all down their legs, they nodded in understatement.

The elder ghoul began to stand, "Come now," he began, holding out his hand for the ghoul to take hold of,"Let's get you clean up, yeah?" He said as he walked the two to the washroom, he felt the ghoul dragging their feet into the ground.

"Is something the matter?"

"Th-the mess, I should clean it befor-"

"Nonsense, my brother's have seen their fair share of incidents, a carpet is an easy clean up, now, let's get you washed up before you begin to rash," the elder explains, placing his hand on the other's back as he lead them to the washroom.

Tin felt their heart finally beginning to settle in their chest as they were seated on the closed toilet lid as the sound of a running tap filling the bathtub. Tin fiddled with the buttons of their cassock as they began to slowly undress.

"I'm sorry, Omega," Tin said.

The elder ghoul tunned to the hybrid ghoul and shook his head, "It is nothing you need to apologize about, seriously," the ghoul said as he helped push the cassock off Tin's shoulder with a smile as he reached over to turn the tap off.

The hybrid ghoul let out a small squeak as he was lifted up by the taller ghoul and gently placed in the tub. 

--

AKSKJDJ SORRY I SORTA RAMBLED AND I LOVE YOU NONNY AND I WANT TO GIVE U A HUG AND DJFJJFJKFKFFKdjrjrj😭💖

[fuckress]

I dare you to answer every single question in the "weird asks that say a lot" (tho you can decline the dare, or just answer one you really wanna answer)

me? declining a dare?? HELL NO! So buckle up, this is a long one!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?–> coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?–> hmmmmm… chocolate bars.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?–> neither really… there aren’t many stores where I can buy cotton candy just like that. So I guess bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?–> quiet, reserved, smart. I think that’s about it.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?–> actually cans. But I’ll settle for bottles if I can’t get cans

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?–> hm… a mix between tomboy, sportswear and formal.

7. earbuds or headphones?–> both. earbuds while on my phone and headphones while on my computer.

8. movies or tv shows?–> tv shows. Keeps me occupied for longer and I don’t have to pay attention too much.

9. favorite smell in the summer?–> that fresh breeze when at sea or ocean. Or, the smell before a thunder storm.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?–> dodgeball, along with basketball and volleyball. which doesn’t mean I’m any good at either, those were just the ones I didn’t suck as much lol

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?–> usually, I skip breakfast and have lunch. But if I want something, it’s usually a sandwich with either avocado, fish or something else.

12. name of your favorite playlist?–> uhh.. don’t really have one.

13. lanyard or key ring?–> both ^^ key ring to keep all keys i need together and a lanyard to lock them to my pants or something.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?–> popcorn. I’m not entirely sure tbh, I’m simply eating popcorn now so that’s why it came to my mind lol

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?–> ooh, good question. hm… catcher in the rye is up there… life of pie too… killing mr griffin…. hm. most books from my english classes it seems. the german ones sucked.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?–> sitting on one leg with the other angled. it’s kinda hard to explain, I guess.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?–> gray sneakers

18. ideal weather?–> sunshine, not too warm (maybe around 25°C), with a little breeze.

19. sleeping position?–> any position and every position

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?–> either computer or mobile phone

21. obsession from childhood?–> hm. I guess drawing might be one. Other than that, I don’t think I have an obsession from back then. Maybe anime and cartoons in general, but nothing specific.

22. role model?–> don’t have one

23. strange habits?–> can’t think of anything right now..

24. favorite crystal?–> opal

25. first song you remember hearing?–> I don’t know the song titles of those, sadly. I do remember the ketchup song

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?–> either taking a walk or sleeping in the sunshine. Not really much interested in activities.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?–> sleeping..

28. five songs to describe you?–> Alone in the room by asking alexandria, haze by tessa violet, choke by i don’t know how but they found me (the vibe of the song, not much of the lyrics), bones by emily finchum, dreamin by the score

29. best way to bond with you?–> oh, there are many ways tbh. either ask me about my obsessions and if they are similar to yours, let’s talk about those for hours. or just show up and talk bullshit, I’m always up for bullshit. or let’s rant about stuff that we both hate. just. yeah. I’m really not that hard to please, if you don’t treat me like shit, we’re good.

30. places that you find sacred?–> nothing comes to mind tbh. that doesn’t mean i don’t think places shouldn’t be treated without respect.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?–> jeans, sneakers, black tanktop and a blazer. or hoodie. things I’d usually wear as well. best to kick ass and take names while wearing what you like most, right?

32. top five favorite vines?–> “two bros, chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not gay.”“Say Colorado!” “I’M A GIRAFFE”“THIS BITCH EMPTY! YEET!”“Shit, duck!” “Oh, cause of the duck is it?” *gets hit by a flying duck*“Cabbage, cabbage, cabbage. LETTUCE, LETTUCE, LETTUCE!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?–> yaaaaaaf, yaaaaaaaas, rip, mood, aaaaaaaaaaargh, wtf, eyyyyyyyyyyyyy, oooh, fuck, ehehehehehehe (usually after a dirty joke), yay~, yehi wasn’t able to just pick one

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?–> none. thank goodness

35. average time you fall asleep?–> maybe.. 30min?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?–> oooh boy, I don’t remember.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?–> suitcase. They’re easier to handle

38. lemonade or tea?–> tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?–> neither.. I don’t really like cakes or pies

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?–> there was a warning of a school shooting due to some internet posts. Nothing happened at our school, but people were scared. Other than that, constant firealarms due to bullshit reasons like cooking or dust. And being late for school due to flooding and casually walking in to class with zero fucks left to give.

41. last person you texted?–> a friend who sent me a cute pic.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?–> BOTH AND BIG ENOUGH TO FIT MY PHONE IN PLEASE

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?–> Hoodie and leather jacket.

44. favorite scent for soap?–> something fresh like lemon grass or so. Or some herbs. Nothing too sweet and no nuts

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?–> I like a lot of superhero stuff, but fantasy is up there too.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?–> I’ll sleep in literally anything, depending on how tired and lazy I am to change.

47. favorite type of cheese?–> none

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?–> a pomegranate i think

49. what saying or quote do you live by?–> none really. More like a motto. Be the best you can be and enjoy yourself as much as possible.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?–> pfft. tons of things. i can’t possibly pinpoint one

51. current stresses?–> New job starting soon where I’m not really sure how well I’ll be able to handle it, sleep scedule is fucked, being on my own entirely with no friends nearby.. ah well.

52. favorite font?–> don’t have one

53. what is the current state of your hands?–> slight lingering pain, a bit cold, no injuries

54. what did you learn from your first job?–> my first ever job was as a waitress/barkeeper at age 14 or something. What I learned there… some people expect too much of you without helping you. And it’s ok to go away from a bad envirenment. Your own well being is most important.

55. favorite fairy tale?–> It’s either the tale of Icarus or the tale of Kunegunda. Those are actually the first ones I ever heard.

56. favorite tradition?–> hm.. don’t have one

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?–> School, College, emotional breakdowns

58. four talents you’re proud of having?–> drawing, being able to view at problems rationally and finding solutions, reading people I know, my bullshit kind of humor

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?–> Let’s get this fucking party started!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?–> slice of life. They’re the most wholesome with weird and funny friendship moments

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?–> The risk I took was calculated, but damn, am I bad at math.

62. seven characters you relate to?–> I’m too lazy to think of seven, so have one: Killua from Hunter x Hunter

63. five songs that would play in your club?–> see number 28.

64. favorite website from your childhood?–> YouTube. Well, not really childhood, but early teenage years.

65. any permanent scars?–> I have one on my forhead from an accident when I was a kid. Don’t know if other scars are permanent.

66. favorite flower(s)?–> forget-me-nots

67. good luck charms?–> a d20 dice

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?–> hm… I think I surpressed any bad memory like that. Can’t remember

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?–> brown eyes can be changed permanently blue due to some genes and pigments being linked together

70. left or right handed?–> I’m right handed

71. least favorite pattern?–> anything with huge contrasts and tons of messy lines. hurts my eyes and brain

72. worst subject?–> history. Never was good at remembering dates and years and that shit.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?–> I… don’t have any..

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?–> a 6, usually. Except if i need to do stuff or I’m trying to sleep. then a 4.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?–> I think, around the age of 9..

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?–> chips

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?–> a succulent always grew really well with me. Or cacti.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?–> Never had coffee at a gas station. I did have sushi from the grocery story, but they were never any good.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?–> driver’s licence photo

80. earth tones or jewel tones?–> jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?–> wait… wat

82. pc or console?–> PC. Never had a console

83. writing or drawing?–> drawing

84. podcasts or talk radio?–> podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?–> I had both growing up. As a kid, barbie. later on, polly pocket.

85. fairy tales or mythology?–> why not both.

86. cookies or cupcakes?–> cookies

87. your greatest fear?–> complete darkness

88. your greatest wish?–> to manage well enough not to have to worry about anything

89. who would you put before everyone else?–> parents i guess

90. luckiest mistake?–> I bet there were so fucking many but I can’t remember right now

91. boxes or bags?–> depends. boxes for organizing stuff at home, bags for shopping and gathering things like bottles or clothes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?–> lamps and overhead lights

93. nicknames?–> Chan

94. favorite season?–> fall

95. favorite app on your phone?–> telegram, messaging my friends and all

96. desktop background?–> a picture I made a while ago I called galaxy marbles

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?–> around 4 or so

98. favorite historical era?–> don’t have one, the all sucked

there. I did it. holy shit that was a lot.

[niel-trbl]

Like We Used To

Ex-lover!Kang Daniel AU

Note: it’s been awhile since i last updated. it’s been pretty tough, especially with the events happening around us so i decided to write something to keep my mind off of things. i sincerely hope everyone is doing okay and if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always drop me an ask.

you were scheduled to go on Master Key - one of the rising new variety shows

you, being a rookie in the industry, immediately said yes when your manager asked if you were keen to join the show

you were so excited since this is finally the time where you can mingle with other idols and celebrities

on your way to the Master Key village, you even asked your manager who will be present for filming so that you could mentally prepare yourself

the moment you got to the venue, you immediately went around and started greeting the cast members and staff

just as you were about to head back to your room, you heard a familiar voice called out your name

“it cant be...”

this was when you wished that you were wrong

you turned around and saw Kang Daniel walking towards you with a grin

you felt butterflies fluttering in you why does he still have that effect on you

while everyone knew Kang Daniel as the nation’s pick, you knew him as Danik, your ex-lover

both of you were very good friends then and you also were each other’s first love

however, it was during his first year of being a trainee when you broke up

despite it being your decision to break off the relationship, you always wished that you could be a little more selfish and have him to yourself

but you wanted the best for him and in order for him to succeed, you mustn’t be a distraction to him (words said by his manager then) hence the break up

seeing him now, in front of you, brought back so many memories of your relationship

“hey, are you filming today too?” he asked

“um yeah i am. i didnt know that you’re here,”

“yeah, well it was kinda last minute so...”

silence filled the space, despite the crazy number of people who were on set

you heard your name rolled off his tongue again - how much you missed hearing his voice and craved for his touch

“i miss-“ before Daniel could continue, your manager called out for you to get to hair and makeup which you were secretly glad

you were this close to dropping everything and holding him again

no one ever knew of your history with Daniel

you hid it like a well kept secret

in order for you to move on from him, you need to get rid of everything that reminded you of him, including the memories of your relationship which you refrain yourself from telling others

however, Daniel often spoke of you - for example in an interview, they often asked how he would treat his significant other and he always spoke of the things he did for/with you

like how he would help you put on your shoes and calling you ‘kid’ as a term of endearment

but he never mentions your name so no one knew, apart from his close members who knew who you were by name

the staff were still getting ready to start filming so you looked around the set on your own

“i believe we havent met. I’m Ong Seongwoo,” he approached you with a soft smile

“i’m _______” you shook his hand

“_______? as in-“ you suddenly saw Daniel standing by you

“yes hyung, _______ from the new group,”

classic Daniel, you knew he always cant stand it when guys approached you, even if they were his friends

before you could say anything, the staff gathered everyone to commence the filming session

after they had presented the keys, you moved on to join your assigned groups

luck was really not on your side that day

all you wanted was to be away from Daniel but instead, you got placed in the same group as him

Daniel, on the other hand, was relieved to know that you were in the same group

“dont worry, i’ll help you along the way,” he whispered to you

he always stood beside you throughout the session and took care of you

during this time, you wished that you could hate Daniel but he made it so hard

he was still that sweet and kind boy you met many years ago - the one that made you melt everytime you hear him call your name

the feelings that you surpressed kept resurfacing

it didnt help that the hosts kept bringing up your past

“oh? _______ and Kang Daniel actually knew each other from before? how did you me?”

“we were schoolmates actually. we were pretty close friends,” he answered for you

you were glad that he was the one that answered, if it were you, it wouldve been word vomit - bringing up the good old times you missed

as the filming session went by, you have gotten more and more comfortable with everyone but with an increasing amount of fluttering feelings as you interacted more with Daniel

“now for our last game, 2 members of each team will have to jump rope together. the team with the higher number of jumps wins this whole round!”

somehow this show has a way of bringing up your old memories

jump ropes was something you and Daniel had always done - it was your way of ‘exercising together” and both of you were really good

Daniel, of course remembering this, immediately volunteered the both of you to do the challenge

before you knew it, you were standing in front of him and placing your hands on his BROAD shoulders, getting ready to start jumping

both of you kept jumping, you couldnt look up at him at all and were this close to losing the momentum

“________ just look at me, it’s gonna be okay,” he whispered in between of the jumps

the moment you locked eyes with him, you lost your balance and tripped over the rope, resulting to a sprained ankle

everyone stopped and quickly got the paramedics who were on stand by to aid you

thank goodness it was the last segment so they quickly wrapped up filming so that you could get proper care

while you were icing your ankle in the sick bay, you heard a knock on the door

you were expecting your manager but it was Daniel who came

“hey i just wanna apologise-“

“no no no, it was my fault! i lost my balance and yeah you know, clumsy old me,” you quickly looked away and directed your focus to the ice pack on your ankle

“no. the ________ i know is never this clumsy and most definitely wont freak out when they look at me. what’s even weirder is that you were so uncomfortable around me today. what’s wrong?”

Daniel knew you like an open book, you knew you couldn’t escape

“this is gonna sound stupid but i am still in love with you. i know it’s been so long and iwas the one who broke up with you, but i just keep thinking about you - how youre doing and coping with all this? and the way you treated me today, it makes me think that you still have feelings for me. i just- i dont know. i really missed you”

both of you sat in silence once again

you cant believe that you blurt all of that out, now he’s gonna think that you’re crazy

but instead, he embraced you in his arms, combing his fingers through your hair to calm you down, like how he used to

“i still do have feelings for you. i missed you, like crazy. you have no idea. everyday, i wish i could find you and tell you to take me back. i tried to find out where you were but i couldnt,”

his hands held your face gently as you made eye contact - this time you didnt back away

“let’s get back together. i miss the days when we were together. the days when we were happier and better. it drives me crazy that im not with you,”

“but, remember what happened then? what if-“

“no ‘what if’s. we’re gonna make it work, i know we can,” he kissed your forehead

[eternalstereksecretsanta]

Jealousy and Broom Closets

@colethewolf | AO3 | Cole, I hope you enjoy some AU-ified sexy times with a (teeny tiny) but of cute at the end!

Explicit

When an unknown Alpha starts flirting with Stiles at Derek’s office holiday party, his instincts flare. Before he knows it, he has Stiles in a broom closet so that he can stake his claim.

Derek has always hated work parties. He especially hates work holiday parties; the tacky decorations seem to make everyone just that much more obnoxious. Luckily, he has Stiles, who loves the ridiculous banners and lights, the themed drinks and hors d’oeuvres, the “networking”–which is what he calls making friends with the gossipiest attendees and swapping stories that should really cost some people their jobs. Or at least their marriages. 

It’s also nice that having Stiles with him at these awful events means that he has someone to do the talking when he can’t be bothered to be dragged into another inane exchanges of pleasantries. And it’s good to have a familiar heartbeat to tune into when the noise of a hundred-some-odd people all talking and laughing and eating gets overwhelming. Having someone to talk to about real things, and to dance with, and to make him smile… all benefits of bringing his boyfriend to an overly opulent ballroom to eat overpriced steak and pretend that Barnes from accounting isn’t an asshole.

Right now though, it is not a comfort to have Stiles here. Right now, Derek is trying his level best to keep from shifting and leaping across the room to slash the throat of the man–the Alpha–that is currently leaning into Stiles’ ear to say something that makes him laugh. Derek’s trying to focus on what Edith, the HR woman who must be at least a year or two past retirement age, is saying about her granddaughter, but he’s a little worried that there’s an “I think you’d like her” coming up any minute now. Mostly though, the way Stiles throws his head back when he laughs is distracting. When the other Alpha obviously traces the line of Stiles’ throat with a hungry leer, Derek’s control snaps.

He manages to excuse himself from Edith’s company semi-politely, but when he gets to Stiles he can’t quite keep his hand from gripping tightly at his hip when he wraps his arm around Stiles’ waist in a move that is unquestionably possessive. The aroused spike in Stiles’ scent is extremely gratifying, and the way the other Alpha’s nostrils flare just before his own scent sours with jealousy is even better. Derek hadn’t needed the assurance that Stiles’ interest wasn’t piqued by the other were, but it makes him preen nonetheless.

“Hey, babe. Having fun?” Derek asks, letting a growl into his voice as he runs his nose against Stiles’ temple, marking him as much for his own pleasure as for the sake of sending the other man a clear message.

Stiles hums, his amusement as clear as his desire. “And who is this?” Derek asks, letting his eyes flash ever so briefly at the other as he gives him his attention for the first time. He smirks when the insult registers on the Alpha’s face.

With an aborted snort, Stiles makes introductions. “Der, this is Lance. He’s visiting his aunt… Maura, wasn’t it? She’s in the advertising department.” Stiles nudges Derek with his elbow and an eye-roll, so he offers his hand to Lance.

“Nice to meet you, Lance. Derek Hale.” He knows he probably couldn’t have sounded less sincere if he’d tried, but he makes sure to let his last name hang heavily between them for a beat. Lance blanches slightly before straightening his stance and nodding at Derek, deferring to his status with a tilt of his head that bares his throat; technically, he should have declared his presence in Derek’s territory beforehand, and he knows Derek could cause problems if he were so inclined. 

As it stands, the only thing Derek is really interested in just then is Stiles. More specifically, in getting Stiles naked and writhing on his dick as soon as possible.

“I’m afraid I must steal my mate away now. Enjoy the rest of the party, Lance,” Derek says dismissively, making the man’s name sound mildly insulting as he drags a willing Stiles toward the nearest exit. As soon as they’re out of the ballroom and in the hallway of the hotel, Derek pushes an amused Stiles against a wall and presses a heated kiss against his lips, reveling in the wet drag and pull of Stiles’ eager mouth against his own, and the sweep of his tongue as Stiles claims him right back.

A waiter bustling out of a nearby Employees Only door carrying a tray loaded with bite-sized fruit makes Stiles break the kiss with a startled laugh. Derek barely surpresses a growl at the interruption, and promptly ushers Stiles down a hall and immediately into a supply closet.

Stiles gasps deliciously as Derek hoists him off the ground and begins mouthing at his neck. He winds his legs around Derek’s waist and threads his fingers through Derek’s hair as he angles his neck to allow Derek better access to all the places that make him squirm. “Did you just–mmnf–break the doorknob so we could have s–oh, fuck–please tell me we’re going to have sex, Der.” The last syllable is little more than a broken off moan, as Derek shifts so that their erections are aligned and begins to roll his hips, building friction that borders on torturous.

In answer, Derek licks a long stripe up Stiles neck to nibble at his earlobe, earning him a moan that makes his hard length pulse where it’s pressed against Stiles’, separated by what Derek thinks is far too many layers. “Not if you don’t take off your pants, we aren’t,” Derek rumbles into Stiles’ ear, spurring him into action. Only it isn’t his own pants that Stiles removes; his long fingers fumble at Derek’s belt, then deftly open the button and zipper, mindful of Derek’s arousal even through the fog of his own.

Stiles moans again as he reveals Derek’s cock, untangling himself from Derek and sinking to his knees in one fluid motion, his body dragging along Derek’s, leaving pleasant sparks behind even through their clothes. Stiles barely gets out a mumbled, “Wanna taste you,” before he takes the head of Derek’s dick into his mouth. Derek bites his own fist to keep from howling as the slick warmth of Stiles’ mouth moves along his shaft with each shallow bob of Stiles’ head. He rests his free hand on Stiles’ cheek, his thumb near Stiles’ lips so he can feel where they stretch around him, the rest of his fingers curling around the side of his neck. 

Stiles’ tongue dances along Derek’s frenulum, flicking maddeningly and pushing Derek’s desire ever higher, even as he takes more and more of Derek’s length into his mouth, his clever tongue still rolling against all the right places. Derek is bracing himself against the wall with one arm now, and Stiles’ hands are moving, exploring as his cheeks hollow and release, creating a glorious push and pull that has Derek close to coming in what should probably be an embarrassingly short amount of time but isn’t.

One expert hand teases at the junction where Derek’s thigh meets his groin, trailing down to cup his balls. Stiles rolls them slowly in his palm, and when he rubs his thumb and forefinger on either side of Derek’s seam, it draws a whimper from the back of Derek’s throat. Stiles makes a similar noise around him, and the vibration is a pleasant addition to the sensations that are sweeping through Derek’s body. He’s trying to maintain eye contact with Stiles, trying to keep watching the way his eyelashes flutter, and the way his lips are red and swollen, the obscene tent in his still unopened pants, but it’s too much. He wants to come inside Stiles, wants to mark him, claim him, leave no doubt in the minds of men like Lance that Stiles isn’t available (he knows there would be a lecture in it for him if these particular intentions were known, but sometimes instinct doesn’t bend to correctness), and watching the bob of Stiles’ head and the flex of his throat as he works over Derek’s cock is quickly pushing him toward climax.

The sides of Derek’s shirt fall away where Stiles has apparently unbuttoned them while Derek was distracted, and when Stiles’ other hand finds its way up to Derek’s nipple, scraping lightly over the sensitive peak, he reaches his limit, pulling Stiles up with a growl and taking his mouth in a desperate kiss, demanding an equal response from Stiles with carefully aimed thrusts of his tongue and his hips, and hands that know Stiles’ body as well as his own.

It’s short work to divest Stiles of his belt and have his pants and briefs around his knees. Derek slips a packet of lube from his pocket and uses a claw to slice it open, unwilling to tear his mouth away from Stiles, or remove his other hand from where it is kneading at Stiles’ ass, holding him flush against his chest. Stiles gasps into Derek’s mouth when he presses one lube-slicked finger against Stiles’ entrance,  tapping and rubbing gently, teasing more than preparing, waiting for Stiles to ask for it. To beg.

He shouldn’t be surprised when Stiles teases him first instead. “Lube in your pocket?” Stiles asks on a huff of laughter, his voice gratifyingly breathy. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you–nngh–planned to fuck me in a maintenance closet.” Derek hides a pleased grin in Stiles’ shoulder, maintaining a steady rhythm with the finger circling Stiles’ rim. Waiting for– “Oh, fuck. Please, Der. Please, I need you.”

Hearing how wrecked Stiles sounds sets Derek’s desire ablaze, and it’s only a matter of moments until Derek is working three fingers into Stiles’ slicked hole and Stiles is working himself back and forth in short thrusts, clutching at Derek’s shoulders and practically whining against his neck. Finally, he pants a needy “Der, want you in me,” into Derek’s ear, and Derek releases him, slipping his fingers carefully out of Stiles and kissing him again, all rough and wet and filthy, before spinning him to face the wall and pulling Stiles’ hips toward himself to angle him just right.

Once he checks that Stiles is braced properly against the wall, Derek anchors one hand on Stiles’ shoulder and pushes his cock into Stiles in one slow thrust, gripping his hip before starting to move in earnest, the time for teasing long gone.

The small space fills with the sound of heavy breathing, muttered curses, and pleasured moans. The steady pounding of Derek’s hips meeting Stiles’ ass is a near perfect match for the pulse beating in Derek’s chest. Derek lets his hand glide over Stiles’ hip to reach around and wrap around his leaking cock. Stiles swears and moans loudly, a broken-sounding “Please” falling from his panting mouth. Derek speeds his thrusts, but keeps them deep and hard, angling so he hits Stiles’ prostate everytime his hand strokes up his length. When Stiles comes with a shout of Derek’s name, his spend coating Derek’s fingers as his walls clench around Derek’s cock, Derek lets his control slip and comes into Stiles with a roar that he muffles by biting Stiles’ neck with his human teeth.

He collapses against Stiles’ back, nuzzling into the space between his shoulder blades and trailing kisses over the sweat dappled shirt that clings to him, his hands trailing up and down respectively to wrap around Stiles’ chest. They catch their breath together slowly. Stiles drops one arm from the wall to tangle his fingers with Derek’s, and the world slowly comes back into focus.

When they straighten up, Stiles turns in the circle of Derek’s arm and moves in for a languid kiss. He pulls away with a smile, and it’s particular tilt tells Derek that there’s a smart-ass remark coming. “Sooo,” he begins, and Derek groans in anticipation of what’s coming next. Stiles raises an eyebrow, and Derek knows he’s in trouble. “Mate, huh?”

[a-pretty-nerd]

Silent Night, No-so-Holy Night (Rodrick Heffley x reader smut)

Request:“I was wondering if you’d like to do a Rodrick Heffley x reader where reader and Rodrick are together and they’re a pretty handsy couple, so when reader is spending the night with him, things get a little frisky, despite Rodrick’s whole family being downstairs so they have to be quiet ;)“ ~ Anonymous

There are not enough Rodrick smuts out there, so I am more than happy to be doing this. ❤

A/N: So, this whole blog has kinda been turned into a Devon Bostick fuck fest (not complaining) and there is sure as hell not enough smuts for this man’s character’s including the one that helped so many people into sexual awareness. The one, the only, Rodrick Heffley. And when I say helped, I don’t mean a gentle push, into womanhood (or manhood). No. I’m talkin thrown, I’m talking smacked in the ass and gropped by an angel kind of helped. So please, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

Warnings: Sex, swearing, and a whole lot of teenagery.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

To put it bluntly, Rodrick and you were, a thing. Well, more than a thing really. You were dating, and for some time now. Rodrick had developed a crush on you from the first moment he laid eyes on you on the first day of school. It was hard for him to proccess at first. He couldn’t understand why his heart started racing when you smiled at him, or why his palms got sweating whenever you were close. He didn’t even need to see you sometimes. His body would just automatically know you were close. It was weird. He finally started putting the peices together once you started dating another guy, and Rodrick got jealous. His friends had to point it out to him. And from that point on, Rodrick wanted nothing more than to impress you. After a few attempts of trying, and failing, to be the ultra sexy super bad boy Rodrick was certain would work. He finally got over himself, and presented you with one singular dying flower, and asked you out.

Now that Rodrick had you all for his own, and the two of you had moved past that awkward fase of the relationship, he couldnt get enough of you. His hands always touching you. Whether it was full on cuddling before classes started, or just an arm around your shoulder, he was there. And it was even better in the bedroom. Despite having been a virgin when the two of you started dating, Rodrick quickly learned the craft. You blushed as your mind wondered to the dirtier side or your relationship. But you shook yourself out of it once you reached the Heffley house. For a while now, Rodrick and you had been alternating between houses. Some nights he would sneak over to your place, and nights like tonight, you would sneak over to his. You walked over to the side of the house, and waited under Rodrick’s bedroom window. After a few minutes, he opened the window and peaked his head out. He held a finger to his lips, and then motioned for you to come up. The only way to get there being climbing using trash cans, and the plants that grew up the side of the house. Which was never an easy task considering Rodrick’s room was in the attic. Finally, you were close enough for him to pull you in. All the while shooshing you, and trying his hardest to make sure no one would hear you.

“Shhhh. My family is downstairs.” He said in a hushed tone. You nodded, and wrapped your arms around him. You gave him a peck on the lips, and he grinned. That goofy grin you adored. He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you close to him in a tight embrace. “What do you wanna do?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I’m a little tired.” You shrugged. He looked around his room for a moment.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure, sounds good.” You layed on his small twin sized bed as you watched him fittle with his TV which sat across the room. Once the movie started playing, he layed down next to you. It took a moment, since the two of you had to snuggle together in order to fit on the small mattress. Rodrick’s arm rests on your back, while your legs tangled together, and his other hand rested on your thigh. He rested his chin on your head, and sighed contently as you watched the movie. He loved having you so close to him. Something about holding you just made everything better. Every now and then Rodrick would flinch, and swear he heared someone come up the stairs. Paranoid that his parents would find the two of you, and you would be forbbiden from seeing each other ever again. You assured him that everything was okay through your giggling. He was so cute when he got worried. Once he relaxed again, you wrapped a leg around his waist, and his hands went back to your thigh. As the movie played, his hand began gliding up and down. Inching closer and closer to your hips, your thoughts only got dritier. You couldn’t help but squirm, Rodrick just had something about him that was so sexy, you couldn’t put your finger on it. Maybe it was his crazy hair? His deep brown eyes? His sense of humor? Regardless, he kissed your cheek, and down your jaw. You leaned into his touch, as his lips trailed down your neck. You held back a small maon, you felt so sensative to his touch. His lips left your neck only to kiss your lips in a soft and tender embrace.

The kiss became more heated when you ran your fingers through his hair, and his hand slid up to your ass. You instinctively started grinding your hips against his. Which drove him to shift his position so that he was now supporting himself over you, his lips never leaving yours. Little moans, and small sounds of Satisfaction leaving his lips. You were driving him crazy, with every touch. Eventually, you took off his shirt, and ran your hands across his chest. He closed his eyes, and breathed heavily as you touch him. He grew impatient, and took off your shirt, attempting to reach aroubd remove your bra. You had to help him, but regardless Rodrick gropped you causing you to moan. Rodrick stopped. You looked at you with wide eyes, and held a finger to his lips and shooshed.

“Be, quiet.” He urged. Before slowly went back to gropping you, and even sucking on your nipples. You held back your whimpers as he pulled down your pants and started rubbing you through your panties. He relieved himself of his jeans before his attention turned back to you. He kissed your neck, and down your collar bone as his hips bucked into yours. Rubbing his clothed erection against your core. You bit your lip to keep yourself from making any noise. You were aching, and so wet, you just needed him. He finally stopped teasing you, and took off his underwear while you took off yours. He kissed you passionately as he drove his cock deep inside of you. The kiss being the only thing that surpressed your cries. Rodrick started to thrust in and out of you, he held you close to him, in his own attempt to keep himself quiet. But his movemenrs quickly became more needy. He started fucking you. Started to softly moan your name inti your neck. He kept thrusting into you, kept hitting the perfect spot. You bit your lip, hard, trying desperately as your orgasm quickly approached. The bed started to rock. Started to creak, and the frame gently started to bump into the wall. His thrusts only become stronger, only making the bed frame ram into the wall as he fucked you. You worried for a moment that someone would hear but none of that mattered as you gasped, and came. Your orgasming washing over you, only to joined by Rodrick. Who shuttered. He panted, and laid down on you. Rest his head on your chest.

“Fuck. Y/N. I love you.” He kissed your chest beforr resting his head once again.

“mhhh I love you Rodrick.” The two of you were content in your state for just a moment before there was loud knock at the door. Rodrick’s eyes went wide with fear.

“Hide!” He hissed. Jumping up from the bed, and throwing his boxers on. You paniced for a moment, before just simply hiding under the bed. Rodrick swollowed before he slowly opened then door.

“Mom and Dad sent me to ask if everything was okay. They thought they heared weird noises.” It was Greg, with a bored and annoyed voice.

“Everythings fine, just tell them I tripped!”

“That didn’t sound like”

“Shut up, and get out of here nerd!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The end ❤

[tcswritings]

Arguments.

Charlie and Kieran have a heated discussion.

When Kieran was back home after Charlie and him shared their first kiss outside the bar (and after she ran away because, oops, she forgot she had a boyfriend at home), he literally though that this has been it. He opened his heart, just this one time, and it didn’t go too well. He gave his best shot and missed.

Combined with the still fresh agony over Malachy’s death, the rejection was very hard to handle so, about a week or two after coming home, Kieran started an affair with the Bureau’s secretary, Annie. They had flirted every now and then over the years, and now the affair had eventually happened. Short-term, but fun nonetheless.

He casually dropped that fact at some point, and Charlie was like:

“Wait… September… that was AFTER we had… we had our thing in the bar, right?”

“… yeah?”

“… okay?” Charlie couldn’t help but feel a little sting to her heart. She turned back to the mirror, reluctantly picking up her hairbrush again.

“… apparently not okay.” Kieran raised an eyebrow. “Charlotte?”

She didn’t look at him, she merely sighed and went on brushing her hair.

“What is it, Charlotte?” Kieran now sighed.

“… don’t use that voice on me!” she suddenly snapped.

Kieran felt a little helpless. He had somehow managed to piss his girlfriend off within the last twelve seconds - he had no idea where exactly things went wrong, though. There weren’t too many options, granted, but he still had no clue. His last serious relationship lay way back in the past, he was still very much at the beginning to getting used to it again.

“What voice?!” he eventually asked, surpressing another sigh.

“Your ‘Ooooh, so Charlotte is pissed at me again for whatever reason, and I can tell she is because I have known her for so long, hahaha!” voice!”

Kieran blinked; and he blinked once more before he dared to speak again.

“I didn’t know I had such a voice, wow.” he mumbled, more to himself than anything, but Charlie heard it.

“Well, you do, obviously, you just used it.”

“Okay, thing is, though - I have known you for a while now and I know you are pissed and I just wanna know what I said or did, alright?”

“I am not pissed.” Charlie insisted.

“I mentioned Annie - “ …. oooooh! “ - and you switched your mood, just like that - oh my god. Charlotte, you’re not seriously pissed because-”

“I am not PISSED-”

“- because I didn’t stay home, cryin’ me fuckin’ eyes out ‘cause YOU ran away to your boyfriend-”

“You are missing the POINT-”

“- whom, by the way, I had NO fuckin’ clue about-”

“- that is NOT what this is about-”

“- and whom I didn’t think ya would ditch for me, ‘t least not at the time ‘cause it certainly didn’t look like it-”

Charlie eventually turned around to face her boyfriend. “What was I supposed to do!? Screw you on the spot?!”

Kieran nodded, now crossing his arms. “Yeah, why not? I would’ve liked that!”

“Oh my god!“

“What? You asked!”

“You can’t- you just suggested that it’s okay to cheat on someone!”

“Eh - on someone so important to you that you never even cared about mentioning him!” Kieran suddenly felt like laughing but he figured it would be better to leave it be.

It was really hard, though, considering the face Charlie now made. She looked as if he had just caught her committing a crime - startled, eyes wide, with her lips pressed into a thin line.

“That is- that -” she stammered, “- that was uncalled for!”

“D’you even remember his name?”

Charlie gasped and threw her hairbrush at him. Kieran dodged, and he watched where the hairbrush hit the wall before he turned around to look at her again.

“Really now? We already reached the throwing shit phase? That was quick.”

“This is NOT funny!”

“Right now it is, y’know.”

Charlie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “All I was about to say is how I’ll never get that guys ALWAYS react to that stuff by screwing the next person ‘round the corner, that is ALL.”

“You- you think that’s what I did. Screw the next person ‘round the corner.”

“Well, you just told me you did.” Charlie replied with a little shrug, slightly irritated, putting her hands to her hips now.

“It wasn’t about you.” Kieran paused. “Well, okay, it was, in a way, but- what was I supposed to do then? Huh? You running off like that - it felt like a fuckin’ punch to the guts!”

“Well, I’m sorry but I couldn‘t just cheat on Drew like that. I was happy with him after all, at least I still thought I was.” Charlie sighed. “I couldn’t- I wanted to save what we had. That was naive, yeah, but I was so overwhelmed by what had happened between us, cut me some slack!”

“I could tell you were. I poured my damn heart out that night, I was overwhelmed, too. Did you see me running away? You could’ve just told me everything but dammit, Charlotte, you don’t make out with someone and just run away, that’s teen movie bullshit!”

“Our whole fight here is… teen movie bullshit.” Charlie eventually admitted ruefully and Kieran responded with a little laugh.

“It really is.” he agreed, before he eventually went on. “I was depressed. Mal had just died, that alone was too much already. Then I came to see you and you ran off, leaving me there in the middle of the night. I thought that this had been it. And when I came back home, I had no clue how to pick up my life again. Okay?”

“Okay…”

“I didn’t screw the next person ‘round the corner, Charlotte. I was trying to survive.”

Charlie nodded and Kieran knew that she understood.

“I was pissed.” she eventually said after a few minutes of silence, still sounding a bit grumpy.

“Yeah well, I could’ve… not mentioned that former affair.”

“It was tactless, yeah.” Charlie made a step forward now and began to button up Kieran’s shirt. He let it happen and enjoyed it, relieved that she was apparently no longer mad.

“Mhm.”

“I mean, it’s not like I don’t know about your… past or that I really mind it - I just- I still like my life a bit sugarcoated. What I don’t know won’t hurt me.”

“When did I ever tell you about-” Kieran made air quotes “- my past anyway? You don’t know anything.”

“I know what you did with me last night, you learned that somewhere?”

“Fair enough.”

Charlie stopped the buttoning for a moment and reached up instead, to hold Kieran’s face in both of her hands. “You are a wonderful, wonderful man, O’Connell.”

“You threw a hairbrush at me five minutes ago.”

“Ruin this moment and I’ll do it again.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re a wonderful man and I am happy about how things are between us.”

Kieran responded by pulling Charlie a little closer. He pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear. “The long distance kind of sucks, tough.” he murmured against her cheek.

“You want this to work as well, don’t you?”

“’course I do.”

“Then why are you such a brat at times?”

“Genes.” Playing with Charlie’s hair now, Kieran smiled to himself.

“Well, don’t be a brat with me and we’ll be fine.” she murmured.

“I promise I’ll try.”