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deadcactuswalking · 5 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 11th August 2019

Top 10

For what I believe is its fifth non-consecutive week, Shawn Mendes’ new single with Camila Cabello, “Senorita”, is the powerhouse at #1, continuing a reign that has no sign of stopping at least in the foreseeable future.

And as we have had in the past four or so weeks, we have two consecutive Ed Sheeran songs, specifically from the No. 6 Collaborations Project album, as “Beautiful People” featuring Khalid leads the pack not moving at number-two.

Also standing still to my surprise and dismay is “I Don’t Care” also by Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber because I thought this was going to drop off pretty soon and pretty easily, but this seems not to be the case, unfortunately, since this song is incredibly dull and honestly its longevity has been exhausting.

Now we have our first real shake-up here in the top 10 with our new arrival at number-four, “boyfriend” by Social House featuring Ariana Grande (or Ariana Grande with Social House), which should be noted as it’s Social House’s first ever charting song as a credited artist. They’ve appeared in charts before as producers and songwriters for the pop princess but have never lead their vocals on a track until now and considering that, a #4 debut for their career is impressive, but it’s definitely Ariana pushing this to any actual traction, racking up a 22nd UK Top 40 hit and 14th top 10. We’ll talk more about this later but honestly it’s not much to discuss.

Thanks to the Ariana Grande debut, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey is down a spot to number-five.

“3 Nights” by Dominic Fike, on the other hand, is up two positions to number-six.

Down two spaces after the hype of the Bieber remix and such dies down is “bad guy” by Billie Eilish at number-seven.

Interestingly, after building hype with a lot of features recently, both of which have charted in the top 20, it’s no surprise what seems to be Aitch’s debut major-label single has debuted high, but I really didn’t expect it to hit number-eight on its first week. “Taste (Make it Shake)” is enough of a smash to mean it’s his third UK Top 40 hit and first ever top 10 song, and I have my theories as to why but we’ll leave that and talk about this song a bit later.

“Higher Love” by Kygo and Whitney Houston continues its eventual rise to the top up a space to number-nine.

Finally, to round off the top 10 at #10, we have “Hold Me While You Wait” moving down four spaces this week, which isn’t quick enough for me personally, the sooner this song dies the better.

Climbers

Outside of the top 10 and a couple new arrivals, this really is a pretty slow week that adds to how the charts have been stalling lately in the Summer, despite a lot of genuine quality. The most notable story here despite a climb less than five positions is probably Joel Corry and Hayley May gaining their first UK Top 20 hit with Love Island theme song “Sorry” at #18, because of course it is. I won’t complain too much though, it’s a relatively decent song. The only other big story this week is Krept & Konan’s “I Spy” featuring Headie One and K-Trap zooming up 15 spaces to #22 thanks to a remix featuring Abra Cadabra, Bugzy Malone and more, but that’s all we have for notable climbers.

Fallers

There are a LOT more of these this week, including some surprises. Starting with #40, we have JAY1’s “Mocking It” down five spaces this week, I’m confused to why it’s not already off the chart. Then we have “You Need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift continuing its underwhelming performance down nine spaces to #37, “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy pretty much in freefall now down seven to #34, “SOS” by Avicci featuring Aloe Blacc slowly falls out of fashion down five to #30, “Crown” by Stormzy seems to have started a premature fall down seven to #27 – if this is any indication on how the album will end up doing, I’m a bit concerned. Also, “No Guidance” by Chris Brown featuring Drake is down six to #23, and that’s all we have here.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The highest drop-out from the chart this week is at #7, as “Cross Me” by Ed Sheeran featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock, which probably would have just fell this week anyway, but since it fell enough for other Ed Sheeran songs to overtake it, it dropped out entirely to be replaced with “Take Me Back to London” featuring Stormzy at #14. This type of exchange has happened before with Lewis Capaldi a few weeks back and this really won’t be the last time it occurs on the charts as long as this rule is in effect.

Other drop-outs are pretty much what you’d expect, songs that were definitely on their way out and have a chance to return in a really slow week, like “One Touch” by Jax Jones featuring Jess Glynne out from #36 without even making the top 10 which surprised me, “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy falling out from #38 once again without peaking as high as I thought it would, “Bounce Back” by Little Mix once again exiting from #39 and finally, “Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys, which is still a pretty decent song by the way, ending its pretty moderate-length run peacefully from #40, and honestly I’m just surprised to see a legitimate smash hit song from two nobodies actually let them burst onto the scene and have a really normal chart run, it’s seldom-seen especially in the streaming era where we have an equal amount of overly long and incredibly brief runs.

NEW ARRIVALS

I’m surprised nothing from Drake’s “new” compilation album Care Package has appeared in the top 40 but while that hasn’t, we do have four new arrivals to review, so let’s start with...

#39 – “Outnumbered” – Dermot Kennedy featuring uncredited vocals from Todd Clark

Produced by Koz – Peaked at #2

...Okay, who? I don’t even know who the producer is on this one, and I’m not going to claim much ignorance here since this seems to be Kennedy’s first crossover hit to break out outside of his home country of Ireland. After doing some research, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s a singer-songwriter in the same lane as the English Ed Sheeran and the Scottish Lewis Capaldi, so it’s pretty expected an Irish one would pop up at some point. Let’s hope the Welsh option has a lot more talent, but we’ll see about that. Apparently Dermot Kennedy has more of a rock edge but I heard that about Capaldi as well. Regardless of his sub-par contemporaries, it’s his and Clark’s first ever UK Top 40 single, and it’s pretty okay, reminding me of Dean Blunt more than anything. I love this dude’s raspy yet still clearly immature and almost slurring voice, it sounds like drunken Irish rambling, especially with the faux-rapping in the first verse, but that’s what works about a lot of his other material, I feel, as a love song about how Kennedy’s girlfriend is just as beautiful as other women but she’s being... “outnumbered”? Yeah, I don’t think Kennedy’s delivery works that much here, but the acoustic folksy guitar is worth something until it’s drowned out by an emotionless trap beat that kicks in for the chorus and the more the song continues the more it sounds like it could be remade pretty damn quickly. The outro’s attempt at making a choir out of the distant backing vocals falls flat on its face, and while the song isn’t bad it definitely does sound like a novice’s attempt at a game that’s already flooded by incompetent hacks.

#36 – “Harder” – Jax Jones featuring Bebe Rexha

Produced by Jax Jones and Steve Mac – Peaked at #16 in Scotland

Jax Jones, house DJ, has recently re-released his Snacks EP in preparation for the Snacks (Supersize) debut album, adding a track featuring singer Bebe Rexha (Who also met headlines recently when she posted an understandably volatile response to an executive attempting to force a change upon her image due to her being “too old to be sexy” at not even 30 years old) called “Harder”, and it’s pretty bad because of course it is, it’s just derivative house-pop that Jax Jones has been doing for a while, except his brand of EDM typically has a lot more focus on bass and infectiously catchy hooks, except even that has been dwindling since his first few singles. It’s Jones’ ninth UK Top 40 hit and Bebe Rexha’s eighth, and yeah, as I said before, it’s not great. It starts with some admittedly pretty-sounding synth-strings which Bebe Rexha sings well enough against but that’s immediately undercut by Jax Jones’ obnoxious producer tag, which transitions abruptly into a minimal, bassline-lead finger-snap beat where Rexha’s vocals are manipulated to an aggravating screech for the lead melody, and I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be the chorus? Admittedly, there is some artificial groove in the funky slap guitar but other than that, man, this is a dry waste of time, especially when the drop doesn’t consist of any notable vocaloid drops and instead just Bebe Rexha humming in an Auto-Tuned drone. It’s a Summer-ready dance-tune, but that’s not exactly a compliment.

#8 – “Taste (Make it Shake)” – Aitch

Produced by WhYJay

We know how Aitch is, by now, unfortunately. He’s a British rapper who is only any interesting because he is white in a largely black genre (And he very much sounds like a fish out of water when he’s rapping) and is otherwise completely void of personality. Hopefully his debut major-label lead single is showing of some kind of character since the three other features I’ve heard bring down the song’s quality pretty dramatically; “Kilos” by Bugzy Malone would be an incredible trap banger without his verse, and “Strike a Pose” with Young T & Bugsey would be a lot smoother than it is now with Aitch’s bluntly-delivered milquetoast verse. Aitch is just watered-down clichés of modern British trap, rolled into a shape of a human wearing a Bape hoodie, then painted white, and it’s somewhat disappointing as from his brief appearance in the “Keisha & Becky” remix I saw some potential but not nearly enough for his later efforts to be forgivable. Is this any good? No, of course it isn’t, it’s lowest common denominator gutter trash that’s more boring and forgettable than it is frustrating, and it’s really not worth my time or anyone else’s. To be fair, Aitch’s flow in the chorus isn’t awful and this beat is kind of cool, the catchy pitch-shifted vocal sample behind the 808s is kind of cool, but it otherwise sounds pretty cheap. Also, Aitch’s delivery is really unlikeable, with a smug charisma that doesn’t show any self-awareness in his annoying cadences. Oh, and it’s way too long – why is there a third verse and why is the chorus rapped eight times, with very little flow switches in the verses to differentiate themselves. The flute in the outro is putrid as well. Skip it.

#4 – “boyfriend” – Social House featuring Ariana Grande

Produced by TBHits, Mr. Franks and Edgar Barrera – Peaked at #8 in the US

While we’re skipping songs can we get rid of this one too? Usually, I’d be interested at least in a new single from Ariana but after the disappointing thank u, next album directed mainly by Social House in tandem with Victoria Monet, I am definitely not over the moon about a new collaboration between the three, especially if Social House are on board as vocalists. Now, as someone who likes a lot more of the grandiosity of older Grande records and even Sweetener more laidback synthpop-R&B with her cooing softly against trap beats would naturally turn me off, but it didn’t need to because there is something here. The hypnotic pitch-shifted vocal sample could be really interesting if it wasn’t pushed back in the mix, and to be honest I like the groove, albeit stilted. Thankfully, in a surprising move for a song with three lead singers, the song is pretty short and is mostly lead by Ariana, with the other guys from Social House being talentless hacks. Jesus Christ, the first guy is like Khalid with an earbud up his nose and the second guy is infuriating, so much so that his NAV-tinged Weeknd mock-up had to be covered up by ad-libs from Ari, which sometimes are louder than him in the mix. The chorus is pretty simple and catchy, and demonstrates the song’s story, about how the sex is so good that despite them not being in a relationship, they don’t want each other seeing anyone else, and alright, sure, but how much can you actually get out of that? Potentially, the three singers could play a love triangle, but the third guy is just kind of playing the same role as Ari, which is, “I want to be in a relationship because I can’t commit since I’m mentally a trainwreck”, which is actually an intriguing angle... but she’s tapped on it before in songs like “get well soon” and “NASA” and they are so much better than this. Sorry, guys, but this isn’t any good.

Conclusion

The Worst of the Week is definitely going to Aitch for “Taste (Make it Shake)”, and the Dishonourable Mention is a four-way tie between Jax Jones and Bebe Rexha, and Ariana Grande and Social House for “Harder” and “boyfriend” respectively, which means that the Best of the Week has to go to Dermot Kennedy for “Outnumbered” by default, and I wouldn’t even give that song a 5/10. Yeah, this week kind of sucked but at least I had anything to review this time.

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