#sure Jem too if I can find her ...

[ireid]

THE NOTEBOOK | spencer reid x female reader

summary: you and spencer reid are married and you have a daughter, mia. one day you decide to stay home while the both of them went out to spend some time together. you decided to do some decluttering and you find his notebook. you read all the letters he wrote to maeve.

pairing: spencer reid x female reader

word count: 4,8k

content warnings: fluff/angst. mention of someone passing away.

author's note: i wrote this after a movie i saw a few days ago. my dear friend jem (@/blvrrface on twitter) wrote this with me. a bot about this will be out soon, too! my cai account is @/ohmyreid. you can get updates on my twitter account @/spookyrydel. it's my first time writing a one shot so i hope you all will enjoy! 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

“You sure you don’t wanna tag along?” Spencer asks you, as he was fixing Mia’s curly hair in a (really messy) braid. You nodded.

“Positive. You two can go and have your fun. You have been out for a few days. I’m going to give you some daddy-daughter moments alone.” You reply, giving him a sweet smile, before looking down at Mia, who was already pouting.

“But mommy–” she starts, giving you her usual puppy eyes. “You don’t want ice cream?” You sigh, before booping her nose with your finger. “Not today peanut. Mommy has things to do.” “Actually mommy just wants to relax.” Spencer says, slightly teasing you. You raise your eyebrows.

“That, too. And I told you I want to clean up a bit. We have too many things in our closets.”

“Don’t–” He starts saying, pointing his finger at you, knowing he was starting to be sassy. You interrupt him.

“I’m not throwing away your Doctor Who action figures. Don’t worry.” “I wasn’t about to say that.” He lied, trying to hold back a smile. “Come on sweetie, we are ready. Let’s go get some ice cream and then we’ll go to the science museum. And mommy will miss all the fun.” He says, before Mia sticks her tongue out at you. You laugh.

“I will miss all the fun, I know.” You sarcastically say, gently fixing Mia’s hair since Spencer made a mess. “But I will wait for you two to come back home. And we can watch Barbie?” “Barbie in the nutcracker?” Mia asks, pouting again. As if you two are able to say no to that adorable face. You smile.

“That one. Come on, go before it’s late. Have fun without me.” You say, giving Mia a kiss on her forehead, making her giggle.

“We will.” Spencer smugly says, holding Mia’s hand. Before leaving he gives you a quick peck on your lips. “Relax a bit too. You deserve it.” “Do I?” You ask, raising your eyebrows, before giving him another quick kiss. “And you have fun. You deserve it, too.” “Bye mommy! We will see you later! I love you!” Mia says, waving at you.

“See you later peanut. Be good for daddy, okay? Love you more.” “What about me?” Spencer asks, with a fake pout. You laugh.

“Yeah, love you too. Come on, go.”

He smiles. “Love you more. See you when we come back”. He says, before they both leave.

You sigh. It feels weird being home alone, it barely happens. But sometimes you need time for yourself– and those closets won’t be emptied on their own. It was supposed to be a quiet, simple kind of day. It barely happens that you are home alone so you decided to take care of yourself, clean up your house a bit and just make beauty masks, have a glass of wine and watch some trashy tv show.

You started with yours and Spencer’s closet, putting away some old clothes to give those to people that needed them. Then you cleaned up Mia’s closet too, a nostalgic feeling spreading through your bones. It seemed like yesterday that she was born and she is already four years old.

Strange how time passes.

Now you were just trying to clean up the guest room closet. The one that had slowly morphed into a museum of Spencer’s past—boxes of books, stacks of old FBI files, that one cardigan he swore he lost but you knew was buried somewhere under a psychology textbook from 2003…

But then something catches your attention.

It was tucked beneath some old clothes. The cover was worn leather, the spine frayed. No title. No label. Just a rubber band wrapped twice around it. It was a notebook that belonged to Spencer.

You didn’t mean to look. You really didn’t. But curiosity got you so you opened it.

You immediately saw her name.

Maeve.

And the first line of the first page felt like it reached into your chest and twisted something deep inside.

“Maeve,

I never got to say goodbye. So I will write to you instead. Hoping you’ll read this whenever you are (I hope it’s in Heaven).

I’m not sure if this helps or hurts. Maybe both. But I have to keep you somewhere, and, even if I have an eidetic memory, my memory isn’t reliable when it comes to feelings. Mostly when it comes to you.”

-----

“Maeve,

I met someone a few weeks ago. I was drinking my usual too-sweet black coffee when I heard someone arguing over the phone. I didn’t mean to make her feel uncomfortable but when she hung up she was crying. So I offered her a hot chocolate and asked her what’s wrong. I usually don’t do these things but I felt really sorry for her.

She’s… she’s not like you. I don’t mean that in a bad way. She’s loud. And messy. She sings off-key in the street while we walk and doesn’t know what to do with silence.

But when she smiles at me, it’s like I finally learned a new language after years of only speaking grief.

Sometimes I wonder if you’d be angry. If you’d think I moved on too fast. But then I remember what you told me in my dream—that you wanted me to live. I’m trying, Maeve. I’m really trying.”

-----

“Maeve,

Something unexpected happened. I couldn’t even believe my own ears when I asked her to go out with me. We did hang out sometimes in that coffee place we met and then walked around, but it wasn’t something super serious.

I asked Penelope what to do in this kind of situation and she told me that I should ask her out for a romantic dinner. Is that how it works?

I also read an academic article just in case.

I really don’t know. I didn’t even get to have a romantic dinner with you. I’m still a newbie in these kinds of things.

But she said yes. No, she said exactly: “A date? That would be awesome”. That’s what she said. I guess she is excited, right? Because I didn’t get to sleep last night. At all. What if she doesn’t like me in that way? What if I’m not ready?

Is it too early for me to move on from you? I wish you could answer. It has been two years but it still feels like yesterday when I lost you. What if I’m using her just to feel the void that you left? I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t think I would be able to forgive myself.

But I really like her. I like her smile, her hair. I like her sense of humor, even if sometimes I can’t totally get it. My stomach hurts when I think about her. Scientifically speaking, this is the result of the abnormal anxiety that I have been feeling since the moment I asked her (three days ago), but romantically speaking… I think those are actually butterflies. Or whatever romantic people call them.

I’m going to pick her up in half an hour. I really don’t like driving but I want to be a gentleman. I got her flowers, too. She mentioned that she didn’t like roses so I got her tulips. I hope she’ll like them.

I hope she’ll like me.

She feels like when you are cold and a ray of sunshine gently hits your face.

I hope I’m not sounding too sappy.

I still miss you. I hope you and Merton are good friends up there.”

————

“Maeve,

I’m sorry if I reach out twice in the same day, but I just wanted to tell you that the date was magical. I brought her to an Italian restaurant and the food was delicious. She is the most beautiful person in the whole world (don’t be mad, I think you were really beautiful, too. You must still be).

She really liked the flowers and I guess she really likes me too since we kissed.

I mean, she kissed me. I couldn’t stop rambling when I brought her home and she decided to shut me up in the sweetest way ever.

I’m glad she did it. I wouldn’t have the courage to do that.

I can still feel her cherry lipstick on my lips.

I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep tonight.

I can’t wait to kiss her again.

I hope you are doing fine with all the angels in Heaven. Thank you for being here for me.”

-----

“Maeve,

She stayed the night last week.

We didn’t sleep. Not in the way you think. We talked. For hours. She fell asleep on my shoulder while I read her a short story by Stephen King. I think you’d like her. She listens.

But she also argues. A lot. With this look on her face like she’s daring me to be smarter than her. Sometimes I let her win.

I laugh around her. Do you know how strange that feels? Laughing again?”

-----

“Maeve,

We just had a fight. Our first big fight.

It’s so strange to say —

I mean, we argued before, but nothing too serious.

Now we fought, she cried and I was just frozen in place, I didn’t know what to do.

She told me that every time I’m out for work she worries too much, because anything could happen to me.

I hate having an eidetic memory because I remember every single one of her words, she said: “Didn’t you wish to become a teacher? As you always said? Because I don't understand why you keep putting yourself in danger every day. You want to have a family some day, but you don't even know if you will come back home when you walk out of that door”.

I said that I get her point of view, but I also told her that she doesn’t understand me — she cut me off immediately after this. She said that I’m the one who doesn’t understand, and that she needs some time alone.

Did I screw it up, Maeve?”

⸻

“I wanted to update you about my last letter. I didn’t screw it up, apparently.

Right after I wrote to you I decided to act on it and try to fix things, so I went to her place with her favourite food and I told her I’m sorry if it seems like I don't care about what she thinks.

She told me that she was sorry too, that she understands that I love helping people, and that she will try to understand, even if she won't ever accept that I put my own life in danger.

But I think that's because she cares about me, right?

We ate the food together and cuddled in bed, I didn’t even think about the germs!

I think I love her.”

-----

“Maeve.

We have been together for six months now, I love her. Not in the same way I loved you, but I’m in love with her just the same as I was with you. You just can't love two people in the same way, you know? But she makes me happy, she makes me breathe again. I just love her.

When she kisses me she always smiles, and then she jokes and makes fun of me all the time — but she doesn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s refreshing, you know? She keeps me on my toes, and challenges me every time.

Sometimes I’m scared we are too different, but then she snuggles on me whispering how much she loves me, and I feel at peace again. Maybe we are meant to be.

Did you send her to me, Maeve? Thank you if you did, you gave me back my life.”

-----

“Maeve,

She moved in today, we have been together for one year. Is it rushed?

Maybe, but it feels right with her.

I always imagined my life with someone calmer, but maybe I was meant for noises all around me.

You should hear how she sings when she is cooking. She is the worst singer I have ever heard — but somehow I would listen to that tune all day, forever.

I guess I just wanted to tell you that I’m happy. How is it going in heaven? Are you playing chess with Einstein? I root for you.”

-----

“Maeve,

I hope I’m not bothering you. Sorry if my letters aren’t really constant but life has been chaotic lately. Remember when I told you that she moved in with me? Now we have been living together for more than a year, but my apartment started being really small for the both of us.

We started house hunting. I didn’t think it could be so stressful. Some houses were too old, some too modern— and you know how I feel about modernity. Some houses were in really dangerous neighborhoods and I didn’t want us to live there. Also what if we end up having a family? I don’t want my kids to be in danger.

Or maybe I’m just daydreaming now. I’m a logical person but when it comes to her even the stars seem closer to me. Which isn’t technically possible— but you get me.

God Maeve, I wish you could have seen the smile on her face when I agreed to purchase that green couch that she loved so much. I didn’t really like it (don’t tell her that) but I’d give up everything just to see her face lighting up, even just a bit.

We have been having small arguments on furniture and decorations for weeks. But at the end of the day, I’m still the happiest man ever and I feel lucky, even if that means that I’ll have to carry too many boxes.

It’s our first night here in the new house— our new house. It still feels weird to say that.

Our new house.

I hope you are happy for me, but I know that you are. I still think you sent her to me as a blessing.

I hope you are still working on your research.

And sorry if I talk about her too much. She is just my everything.”

-----

“Maeve,

I bought her a ring. I didn’t think that diamond rings could be so expensive. But when I saw it I just knew it belonged to her. Actually both Penelope and JJ helped me. They have been trying to investigate for me for weeks and they found out that she was looking for rings and wedding gowns on her Pinterest page.

I have been wanting to do this for a while. We have been together for such a long time.

Today is also the anniversary of your death. It has been five years since that day. I went to the cemetery on my own and I talked to you (to your grave, at least. But I like to think that you were listening). I cried, a lot. I haven’t been crying this much for some time.

I didn’t even get the chance to say I love you back. But I did. And a part of me will always love you, no matter what.

But I love her endlessly. I didn’t think that I would be able to feel something this big and tremendous for someone. She changed the structure of my heart.

I have been having this ring for a few weeks and she is completely oblivious about it. It’s starting to feel heavy in my pants’ pocket but I want the proposal to be special.

I’m probably going to take her to the same restaurant where we had our first date and then to the beach. It’s her favorite place— I mean, I really don’t get the appeal of having sand everywhere, but she loves it.

I think I’m going to do it tomorrow. God, she doesn’t know anything. She thinks we are just going out as we usually do every weekend when I’m not working on a case.

I’m really nervous. What if she says no? I don’t think I will handle it.

But she won’t, right?

I hope you will be here with us at the beach, maybe in between the waves. I need you to be here with me. It’s going to be one of the most important moments of my whole life.

All I want is for her to say yes.

I’ll keep you updated.

I hope you are happy up there.”

-----

“Maeve,

she said yes. I know that you knew, because I could feel your presence there. Maybe I’m crazy but I just know you were looking at us with a big smile on your face.

After dinner I took her to the beach as I wanted to and we were just walking, hand in hand, while she was rambling about what happened today at her workplace.

I wasn’t really listening (which I’m sorry for) because I couldn’t wait to get on my knee and ask her to be my wife.

So I did that.

I tripped over my own foot and my eyes were glossy all the time. I tried to come up with something romantic to say but she kept on saying “oh my god stop” and she just kept on crying.

So I cried too.

Then I asked her to be mine forever and she said yes.

She said yes, Maeve. Can you believe it? Can you believe that someone wants to spend their life with me?

If it’s a dream I hope I never wake up.

She is now talking with her friends on the phone, showing them her rings. I can hear them screaming from here.

I can’t wait to marry her.

I’ll send you an invitation.

Sometimes I still feel guilty but then I look at her and I realize that I feel alive.

Talk to you soon.”

-----

“Maeve,

We just came back from our honeymoon — with “just” I mean it’s already been a week from that day when we stepped foot back in our home. I didn’t have time to write to you, jet lag has been crazy. How can people deal with that?

We spent two weeks around Europe. Paris first, then around Italy and lastly in London.

I thought she hated the idea of walking around cities all day, but she was happy as long as she had a pastry in her hands, even if she made me eat most of it anyway. I think I gained a couple of pounds, you know? I have always been a little too skinny anyway, so maybe it’s for the best. I would call those happy pounds.

The days right before the wedding have been the most anxious days of my life, but the moment I saw her walking down the aisle it was like… breathing for the first time — even if she took my breath away.

She has always been stunning to me, but maybe I fell a little more in love after seeing her in that white dress.

By the way, the honeymoon was magical. We saw so many places and took so many pictures.

I wanted to visit Greece as well, but we didn’t have much time for it. Hopefully we will go there soon.

She also stopped every two seconds to pet every stray cat or dog we met, isn’t she the sweetest?

I wish I could show you the pictures she took of me, and the ones we took together.

Could you see us walking down the streets of Paris from up there? I think we are beautiful together, at least everyone told us so.”

-----

“Maeve,

I’m going to be a dad. I wanted to write something else before being so blunt but I wanted to tell you as soon as possible.

I’m going to be a dad. She is pregnant.

She has been keeping this from me for a few weeks. I did pick up on the fact that she was just drinking water and that she stopped eating sushi (I thought she actually had a stomach bug). Then when I came back earlier from a case in New Jersey she wanted me to solve a riddle. I didn’t even think about the fact that she was trying to make me say the word “baby” for half an hour. Then I realized.

I cried, Maeve. I couldn’t believe it. How is this happening to me? Is this what happiness feels like?

She cried a lot, too. Then we hugged. I wanted to hold her super tightly but I didn’t want to hurt the baby. Our baby.

Can you believe it? I always wanted to be a dad. Is it possible to already love someone so much even if they aren’t even a formed human being yet?

I’m going to protect them from everything. I’m going to be the perfect dad— I have to.

I don’t want to be like mine. I would never give up on my child and on my wife. I want to give them the whole world.

I’m going to wake up really early tomorrow morning so I can go to the library and read as many things as possible on pregnancy and newborns.

Do you think I will be good at this? God, I hope so. I don’t even know what I did to deserve this— all of this. This is something too precious. I hope I won’t ruin it.

I love her, Maeve. And I love those little cells inside her already. I feel like my heart is going to burst.

I can’t wait to meet him. Or her. I don’t care as long as they are healthy.

I didn’t think I would have another chance at this after you passed away but I was wrong.

She proved me wrong so many times, and now she is carrying our child.

I hope you’ll watch over the three (two and a half now) of us from there.”

-----

“Maeve,

I’m really sorry for not reaching out as I once used to. Our little girl is keeping us occupied— and her mom, too. Our baby is actually a girl, did I mention that? I wish I could show you the ultrasound pictures. She looks so small and I can’t wait to hold her.

Her mom’s belly is growing everyday and it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I still can’t believe she is carrying the life we created together.

Sometimes she lashes out at me but I read it’s normal. It’s the pregnancy hormones. But it’s okay, I’m not the one having a tiny human in his belly.

I’m trying to be the perfect husband as soon-to-be-dad for both of them. Sometimes the cravings are too weird and disgusting but I deal with them easily.

Our baby is growing and she is healthy.

I’m loving this journey.

I hope you are proud of me and that you won’t be mad because I moved on from you.

But I know you won’t.

You sent them to me, after all.”

-----

“Maeve,

The most beautiful thing in the world just happened to me.

My daughter. She is born.

Can you believe it? I’m a dad. D-A-D.

God, it still sounds insane to me.

Her name is Mia Diana Reid.

Mia means “mine” in Italian, but I read that it's a shortened form of the Hebrew name Maria, which itself is derived from Miryam. I didn’t really like those names, so we decided that Mia was perfect.

And Diana because, well, you know, it’s my mom’s name. I’m still scared that someday she would wake up without even remembering my name, so giving her that name I think was a sort of coping mechanism.

At least I will always have her.

She was born on August 1st, I think it's a beautiful day to be born in, because she reminds me of the summer.

My wife says that Mia is a leo, and that means that she will grow up confident and sure of herself. I know nothing about astrology, but I trust her, I hope she is right. She is really into those things.

She was a mess after the delivery, so I had to hold her and comfort her, convincing her to rest — not that I’m complaining about it.

When I held Mia the first time it was the most amazing feeling in the world, I didn’t think my heart could take that much joy.

I hope I will be a good father, Maeve. I’m a bit scared about it, but she keeps saying I’m already great at it.

I didn’t sleep at all last night, I just held Mia and I didn’t want to let her go, I’m scared I might wake up just to realise nothing has ever been real.

Hopefully I’m very much awake.”

After all those pages you just stood there, speechless after those words. You kept on touching the pages over and over again. You are not upset, why should you? I mean, he always said the best things about you, it’s not like he said anything hurtful.

Before you can even decide what to do, if talk to him about it or pretend you never saw anything, the front door opens, and you hear your daughter’s voice and Spencer laughing.

Then silence.

You look toward the door, Spencer is leaning there, his eyes a bit wider, then he walks and kneels next to you.

“Love I— What are you doing?”

You stay silent for a couple of seconds and then looks at him, stuttering.

“Spence— Love I— I didn’t want to read it. I didn’t think—“ .

He stops you immediately with a smile and a kiss on your forehead, curling an arm around you and holding you tight against his chest

“Hey. Hey, breathe. I know, It’s okay. It’s nothing. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything, but i just needed a space to talk freely about you when I had those overwhelming moments.” He chuckles a little before continuing “You really gave me an hard time, in the best way possible. I hope you’re not upset.”

You shake your head. “I’m not, I’m not, I just feel bad because I read all those things you probably needed to keep to yourself.”

He shakes his head again laughing “No, those were meant for you as well. Now you know how I really feel — how much I feel.”

That stirred something inside you, and you let out some tears.

After a little you laugh softly through the tears “You really don’t like the green couch?”

He laughs as well “I didn’t. Like at all, baby. But I learned to love it.” Then he kisses your hair “Just as much as I love you.”

-----

“Maeve,

I think this will be the last time I write to you.

Not that I don't miss you anymore, I wish you could see me every day, I think you would be proud of the man I became.

Some days ago she found out about this notebook. Not that she was mad or angry about it, she wasn’t upset at all.

We talked about it, and we hugged a lot too — at least until Mia didn’t interrupt us because she wanted to play with the Barbies after watching the movie and we all had our dolls to role-play (of course I’m Ken and I barely do anything).

You have been a big part of my life, Maeve, one of the most important chapters.

I don't even know how to tell you goodbye, since time hasn't belonged to you for years now. Can you still see the passing of days and nights from up there, or is it always daytime?

When you left, something broke. Not forever, but enough to make me realize that love does not end with absence. There are days when I wonder what would have been if you had stayed. If we had had a wider, slower, less cruel time. But then I look at my family, and I realize that life is not about choosing between one love and another. Sometimes, we are only given to keep carrying everything, despite what life throws at us.

I know that you are always here, even though I cannot see you. Sometimes I feel your hand on my shoulder, and I feel you smile seeing my wife and daughter. I know you like them very much too. In one of the first letters I wrote to you I was wrong, she is not a rebound.

Are you proud of me, Maeve? I hope so.

I have to go now, Mia is calling me - it's time for a bedtime story.

Until we meet again.

Give my regards to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, I hope he has written new Sherlock Holmes stories for you (save them for me. As soon as I get there I want to read them too).”

[layniapetrovnaaa]

Atticus Finch x Pregnant reader

You ever reread your work over so many times you cant even tell if you like anymore... yeahhh. lmk if this sucks i havent written in forever lol. Only four years late but here it is, thank you for requesting, and I hope you enjoy :)

Warnings: pregnancy, one swear word, lots of anxiety, idk its pretty tame but reader is written mad angsty. overall tho its pretty fluffy ig

word count: 4.9k (yikes)

***

First, it was the missed periods, then the swollen breasts and fatigue, and finally, the morning sickness. That's when you knew. It was definitely time to make that doctor's appointment to confirm your suspicions. You had hoped the kids and Atticus had not picked up on your bizarre symptoms, not because you didn't want them to know but because if it was true, you wanted to tell them in your own way and time. 

You had finally finished emptying the contents of your stomach when there was a knock on the door. "Just a second!" you scrambled, trying to find the toothpaste. You heard Scout call your name in a long, drawn-out drawl. "Jem's hoggin' our washroom! I'm gonna be late for school!" 

You put the toothbrush in your mouth, and the peppermint taste was somehow a relief while simultaneously almost triggering you to upchuck again. Gaining some composer, you opened the door and allowed her to come in. 

You had married Atticus about a year ago after having known the family for a bit. You both wanted to make sure the new adjustment was suitable for the children before you came and settled into their home and lives. Their needs came first. Lucky for you and Atticus, Jem and Scout adored you. There was no replacing their mother, and none of you wanted that, but all of you were glad the children had a maternal figure in their lives (one who was not Alexandra Hancock). Not that Calpurnia wasn't there for the children, but there was only so much she could do for them, having a family of her own. 

It had been a few years since the Tom Robinson trial. You hadn't been around for it but moved to Maycomb shortly after and quickly became close with the family. You had a job working as Atticus' secretary/assistant, and that's where it all began. Fast forward some years, and here you were as his lovely new wife. Things were simple; you'd keep up the house while your husband and the children worked and went to school. Going into town to do some shopping and keep up social pretenses. No one in the immediate family cared too much about how the town saw the Finchs, but it was a small community, and connections were important. 

What would a new baby do to this routine? How would the children react? And Atticus, too? Never mind what Stephanie Crawford would think, or better yet, say. It didn't matter, at least not until you knew for sure. You spit out the toothpaste and rinse the brush as Scout fumbles in the cupboard for a towel. 

"Well," Atticus drawls, standing in the bathroom doorway. "My two favorite girls. How are you this morning, Scout?" 

"Good morning, Atticus!" she responds as she splashes water on her face, then aggressively dries it with a towel. You both chuckle at her intense antics. She quickly tells him she's doing fine this morning and rushes to her room to get dressed. You smile at your husband and turn to him to embrace him. 

"And you, my dear, how are you on this fine morning?" His hands are on your waist, and all you can think about is how perfect this is…until you remember the missed periods, swollen breasts, fatigue, and morning sickness.

Atticus woke earlier than you most mornings, starting his day by readying himself in his office. Getting things together and finalizing paperwork. Once you and the kids awoke, he would join you in getting ready and having breakfast. While it did bother you somewhat that you woke up alone most mornings, you were grateful for it as of late. Truthfully, though, you didn't know how much it helped hide your symptoms since Atticus' office was right next to the bathroom. If he did know anything, he hadn't let on, and once again you were grateful. Somehow, he always seemed to know what was best for you before you did. 

"I'm better now that you're here." You grin and lean in to give him a peck on the lips. As you do, Jem flies by but not without making a fake "UGH!" puking noise. Atticus shakes his head. 

"Sooner than he realizes, he'll understand." He sighs with a small smile and separates from you. Jem was really starting to come into the throes of his teenage years. It was not as bad as you remember your brother's being, but you knew the transition was hard on him and Scout, for that matter. Scout was still very much a kid and probably always would be at heart. Jem, however, was beginning to act more and more like his father (aside from his occasional outbursts). 

Atticus starts on his routine of freshening up when he asks what you have planned for the day.

"Well, I have to drop that pie recipe off to Maudie, and we need more flour." 

You debated telling him about your plan to drop by Dr. Reynolds's office but figured you should in case he happened to run into him or if he tried to call home and you weren't there. "I also have to stop by Dr. Reynolds later." You hoped he wouldn't ask, but frankly, you would be upset if he didn't either. He stops and turns to you. 

"Are you feeling alright?" You could see the concern on his face and hadn't even considered the possibility of him remembering the tragedy of his late wife. And now you felt like crying, Christ almighty, you needed to get it together.

"I'm fine, Atticus. Just a check-up, no need to worry." You make eye contact in the mirror and place a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

"You know I do." 

*** 

"Well, Mrs.Finch, your suspicions are correct. You're pregnant." 

You let out a deep breath at that, and you weren't sure if it was one of relief or anxiety. It was good to know what you practically already knew, but the thought of having to now break the news to the family was more than anxiety-inducing. 

"It's a little too early to tell exactly how far along you are, but I would say right around two months." The doctor says as he packs his tools back up. "Make sure you're getting enough rest and eating enough. I'm sure I don't have to tell you, but pregnancy can take a lot out of ya."  

You nod, even though you weren't really listening. 

"Thank you for your help, Dr. Reynolds," you stand. "Please say nothing to Atticus or the children. They don't know about any of it yet." 

"You have my word." He smiles. "We should schedule an appointment for your next visit. I'd like to check up on you every couple of weeks. It's recommended at the very least once a month."   

You nod again and follow him to the front desk to schedule your next appointment. 

On your way home, you thought of all the ways to break the news to Atticus. You'd think about the kids later; he would know best how to tell them. You were worried, to say the least. It wasn't just the shift in dynamics that was nerve-wracking; it was also the fact that it was no secret that Atticus was older, and he was starting to feel increasingly more his age each day. Having a new baby in his fifties was probably not something he had planned on. You two had talked about children once or twice, not censuring or encouraging the thought of having a baby of your own, but it was never something either of you had given too much thought to considering your husband's age. And now here you are. 

Thank God you had gotten your errands out of the way before your doctor's visit. You were practically out of commission now, having burnt the roast you were supposed to have for lunch. Atticus and the children were supposed to be home any minute now, so there was no time to fix something new. You did your best to salvage what was left of the lunch and set the table for the four of you, trying to allow yourself to picture a fifth setting. 

You hear the door and pull yourself out of your daydreams. The children, of course, come bursting through. Contradictory, Atticus follows calmly after them, removing his hat and greeting you with a kiss. 

"How was your visit with Dr. Reynolds?" he asks. The two of you are alone in the kitchen now. Jem and Scout were clearly starved, having already sat at the table and started dishing out their food, no doubt earning a scolding from their father when he eventually would sit down for lunch. They knew better than to start eating, at least. 

"All healthy, but there is something I need to tell you." You twist and pull your fingers nervously. "Later, tonight." 

He would have looked almost impassive to someone unfamiliar with his mannerisms and expressions, but you could see the concern and curiosity in your husband's eyes. All of the doctor talk must have made him nervous, but then his eyes flicked down to your stomach and back to yours, and you felt your heart leap. You took his hand despite your nervousness. "Let's go have some lunch." 

***

You were in bed now, and you still had not told Atticus. After your short conversation in the kitchen earlier that day, he refrained from asking again about the visit to Dr. Reynolds, though that didn't mean he had stopped thinking about it. Despite your husband's stoic disposition, he tended to worry quite a bit, part of the reason why his ulcers were constantly acting up. This was a sliver of why you had not told him when he came home for lunch, when he returned from work, or after dinner. The main reason– which you knew but didn't want to admit– was that you were scared. You continued pretending to read your book, but you should have thought about the decades of experience Atticus had as a lawyer. 

"What are you thinking about?" he asks quietly, not looking up from his literature. 

"Nothin'. Just readin’.” You quickly dismissed but cringed at your lack of courage. 

"You haven't flipped a page in 15 minutes." And you realize you're caught. 

He finally turns to you and takes your book, setting it down with his own. He takes your hand, giving it a long kiss while he looks at you somewhat expectantly. The kiss, you could tell, was meant to reassure you. He would never force you to discuss your visit, but you told him you needed to talk with him and wanted to be true to your word. He finally releases his mouth from your hand, and you give him a small smile. Timidly though, you look away and try your hardest to have faith that this will all be okay.

"What is it, sweet?" 

You let out a small sigh and turn your focus back to him. 

"Atticus?" you sounded like a child. 

"Yes?"

"I'm pregnant." 

Your voice was thick. The silence that followed was heavy, and you couldn't help but hold your breath.

He had broken eye contact with you, but his grip on your hand was firm. He raised his eyebrows and took a deep breath, turning his head to stare down the end of the bed frame as he let it out. There was another pause, and then slowly, the corners of his mouth started to turn up and a grin came on his face as he shook his head slightly. 

"That's what you were so mighty worked up about tellin' me?"

"Devil." was all you said as you crossed your arms. He chuckles, placing his now vacant hand on your leg. 

"The way you were behavin' had me worried you were one foot in the grave." He tried to joke, but you could tell he was serious. "I've known about you feeling sick. I assumed that's what the visit was for, though somehow I didn't even consider the possibility of you being with child. I suppose it's been a while." 

"I didn't mean to worry you." You spoke softly, unfolding your arms and risking a glance at him. He nods faintly, accepting your silent apology. He had yet to react to the news, so you were still a bit apprehensive. 

"What are we gonna do?" you finally ask.

"How do you mean?" He raises an eyebrow. 

"Well, this isn't exactly something we planned on." you shrugged. 

"While it is quite the surprise, I must say it's not uncalled for, my dear." He gives you a knowing glance, which you can't help but give a small smile back to. Perhaps the two of you would have been more cautious if it was such an unwanted thing. Somehow, this was the first time you had thought of this, and while it did slightly ease your nerves, you still wanted to know what he thought of all of this and what you were going to do about it. 

He says your name seriously. "Do you want this baby?" 

In all the time you had spent worrying about what Atticus and the children would think, you hadn't even stopped to consider how you truly felt about the situation. It didn't take you long, however. The thought of a mini version of the two of you running around with their older siblings had already convinced you. 

"I do."

"Then it's settled." He smiles, and so do you. He brings you in for a kiss, and you feel the weight of your secret roll off your shoulders. When he pulls away, you can finally see his excitement get the better of him. "Do you know how far along you are?" 

"The doctor said about two months, but he can't be sure until I'm a little further along. I have an appointment for next month." It feels good to tell him these things. Somehow, you can't believe you were so worked up before, especially now that he hasn't stopped smiling.

It had been about six months since you had found out about your being with child. Things had gone on as usual for the first few months after the morning sickness subsided– relatively speaking. About a week after you told Atticus, the two of you took the children into town after supper and got them ice cream, trying to lessen the blow. Scout was excited right away, but it took a bit for Jem to come around, and you couldn't blame him. He was never cold to you; Atticus respected you, therefore, he did as well. Besides that, there was no denying all the support you had given him the last few years. He just seemed nervous, you all were, but you could tell there was something specific bothering him. 

It was not unusual for the children to talk about their mother, and it never bothered you; most often, you encouraged it. Even before Scout confessed on his behalf, you had an inkling that his timidness about the new baby had something to do with his mother. You empathized with him; not only was their father having another child, but Jem was also more than a decade older than this baby. You knew it wouldn't be easy, but you didn't want to ever make him feel unwanted. You had spoken to Atticus about this one night after Jem was particularly quiet during dinner; Scout, on the other hand, took the whole meal talking about how she was going to show the new baby all her favorite things. 

"I think you might need to talk with Jem." You spoke up from your vanity as you brushed your hair. It was late; the children had gone to bed already, and you and your husband were settling in for the night. Atticus was undressing on the other side of the room, but you could see him behind you in the mirror. He hummed as he continued to put away his clothes. 

"I think it has to do with his mother." You said much more quietly this time. 

"Jem is like I am, is all. He needs time to sit with this new information and settle into how he feels about it." He spoke matter-of-factly. "He'll come around. He just needs time." He says with a little more tenderness as he comes up behind you and rests his hands on your shoulders. Atticus knew his kids better than you did, so you were not one to argue with him about how he dealt with these kinds of situations. He could still see the concern and apprehension on your face as you continued brushing the same spot you had been for the last five minutes. So, as he swoops down to plant a dry kiss on your temple he says softly that he'll talk with him. 

After supper one night, Scout had been told to wash up for bed early, and the three of you sat in the living room. You sat silently, listening to Jem and his father talk. You could tell he felt a little lighter after a progressive conversation about how he regarded the situation. You had remained silent for the most part but assured him this baby would never replace him, Scout, or the place that his late mother still had in the house. You also made sure he knew that if he had any questions or concerns, all he had to do was ask. 

Now, here you were at eight months, feeling like you were about to pop. Everything was a struggle now. It was hard to get comfortable, and being so pregnant in the summertime in the south was no easy feat. You had become practically incapacitated and cried to Atticus one Sunday morning before church that this would be your first and only pregnancy after not a single pair of shoes fit your swollen feet. He tried his best not to find humor in your drama and told you to stay home that morning and that he would return later with a proper pair of footwear for you. What would you do without that man? Most days, he helped you dress and prepare the nursery. You felt spoiled knowing how hard he worked in addition to coming home to work some more on the room or assisting you with tasks you could no longer complete alone. He never once complained; every time you asked him about it, he would simply smile, give you a quick kiss, and assure you that he was happy to help. The man was a godsend. 

It seemed that the last month or two of the pregnancy dragged on. This baby never wanted to come out, you thought to yourself when you woke up one morning. Atticus was already in his office, gathering his things for work that day. It was summer, the kids had no school, and you could hear Scout outside talking across the street to Miss Maudie. She was still staying with Stephanie Crawford. When asked if she was ever going to find a new home or place to stay, Maudie would simply roll her eyes and say it was better for her and Stephanie that she stick around. Though she never explicitly said, it was apparent that the two ladies didn't want to be alone. While Stephanie Crawford was not your first choice for help if you went into labor and Atticus was not home, it did bring some comfort that there were so many women close by to you during this time. 

You had gotten ready for the day and dressed as best you could before heading to the kitchen for some breakfast. Atticus and Jem sat at the table reading the paper; Scout had just returned from outside and was fixing herself a plate. You greeted them all with a good morning as well as Cal and thanked her for the scrumptious-smelling breakfast she had prepared. While Atticus was definitely a godsend in all of this, Calpurnia felt like God herself. She had been with you every step of the way when your husband could not be. Any strange symptom, she would reassure you; any craving– she would whip something up right away. She knew all the tips and tricks for getting on dresses with too many buttons or sleeping comfortably. There was nothing she couldn't do, and you swore this pregnancy would have been the end of you if she wasn't there. 

After finishing the section he was reading in the paper, Atticus rose from his seat and came over to you, offering to get your breakfast together so you could sit down. You thanked him with a small peck and heard Scout whisper to Jem that all you two do is kiss. He quickly told her to hush and returned to his paper (not because he disagreed, he just wanted to read the paper in peace). You couldn't help but chuckle as you walked over to sit beside her. She asked you how you were feeling as Atticus set down the plate before you and returned to his seat. 

"Scout, I swear this baby oughta to get here soon or I'm done for." You responded, circling a hand over your full-term belly. The look on her face makes you remember the girl had never really been around many pregnancies before, and so quickly you add, "I'm like an overfilled balloon!" so as to not alarm her so much. It seems to work as she giggles slightly and takes another bite of her food, and you do as well. Something you did not tell her about, though, was the cramping feelings you were getting this morning. You had false contractions before (the last two months, to your misery) and so you didn't really think anything of it. Boy, were you in for a surprise. 

As Scout finishes her breakfast and Jem with the paper, they declare they will be at Barker's Eddy to meet some friends and cool off on this hot summer day. When Atticus asks how they will be getting there and if they need a ride, they inform him that one of the boys on Jem's football team had gotten their license and would be picking them up. He tells them to be careful, and they run to their rooms to get their things. As they do, you feel another contraction coming on and brace yourself for the pain. After it subsides, Atticus asks if you're okay, to which you grumble and wave him off. He chuckles and goes back to reading the paper. Those boys and their goddamn paper, you think to yourself. The two of you make light conversation as you finish up your breakfast. You stand to take the plates from the table when you feel, yet again, another contraction. These were starting to become regular, every 20 minutes or so. It's just as you come to this realization that you feel a trickle down your leg. Your water had broken.

"Atticus…" you call to him in a shaky breath. "I think my water just broke."

He's out of the chair and next to you before you can even blink, coaxing you to sit down and hurriedly saying he's going to call the doctor. It all felt like it was happening so fast.

You had waited, obsessed, and waited some more for this day to come, and it was finally here. The times when you and your husband stayed up too late talking about what the baby would look like or fixing up the nursery were finally over, and the day was here. You thought the baby would be a boy with his father's disposition, similar to Jem. Atticus disagreed and assured you it would be a little girl with dark hair like Scout. You'd be finding out soon.  

Your daughter was born July 26th at one in the morning. She was 6.13 pounds, 20 inches long, and perfect. So absolutely perfect. Atticus had been by your side every step of the way until the delivery (not by choice; the doctor recommended it, and truth be told, you were a little glad he didn't have to see you in that state). He was back in the room to meet your daughter as soon as possible; you'd never seen him look so giddy. He comes and sits next to you on the bed, the entire time admiring the little girl bundled in your arms. He cradles her little head in his hand as you offer her to him, the tight-lipped smile he had never leaving his face. 

You place your daughter in his arms, she stirs and coos slightly as you do. Once the two of them are settled in, he wraps an arm around you and kisses you on the forehead.

"I'm so proud of you." He says quietly so as to not disturb the baby. You take his hand resting on your shoulder and lean further into him, both of you never once taking your eyes away from the little girl. 

"I couldn't have done it without you."

The two of you sit there in peace for a short while, taking in the moment as much as you can. Soon, he hands the baby back to you and declares that it's time for Scout and Jem to come meet her. He promised to keep their visit relatively short as you were hardly hanging on to consciousness at this point.

The children had gone to bed a few hours ago as it was late, and it was hard to tell how soon it would be before the baby came. They had gotten quite the shock when they came home from swimming to hear your cries and screams from the bedroom. They had wanted to see you and make sure you were okay but instead had been told to busy themselves helping Calpurnia and getting things ready for the next few days as your time would be taken up with all things baby. Atticus made sure to inform you that they were quite concerned for you and very anxious about meeting their younger sibling. 

At first, they enter the room groggy, but as soon as Scout sees you, she books it for the bed. Atticus tells her to calm herself and not to spook the baby. He walks with Jem over to the bed, his hand resting on his son's shoulder. Jem and Scout admire the child momentarily before they start asking about her. You tell them it's a baby girl and how much she weighs, how she doesn't have a name quite yet, and yes, they can hold her. You scoot over on the bed and make room for Scout, tiredly instructing her on how to position her arms. Atticus had moved to be by her side at this point, it was the first time she had ever held a baby. 

"Hey there, little one." She coos to the baby, running her index finger over the infant's soft cheek. "Nice to finally meet you. You got hair like mine!" she says sincerely before turning to you and exclaiming in a whisper: I knew it would be a girl! You chuckle at that, and her father does as well. Atticus was right, go figure. 

"You're a big sister now, Miss Jean Louise." You spoke as you softly stroked her hair. 

She held the baby for a few more minutes before passing her over to Jem. 

His reaction was much more subtle than Scout's, but the little smile that remained on his face and the look in his eye was enough validation for you. He wouldn't stop staring at her; you couldn't blame him. 

Much to your dismay, you were starting to drift off to sleep. It had been a very long day, and your body was exhausted. Atticus noticed this and made his way to take the baby from Jem. As he did, you regained consciousness long enough to see the boy place a very gentle kiss on her head. You couldn't help but lazily smile at the interaction.

The children bid you goodnight and return to their rooms, already giggling and chatting about their new sibling. 

You motion for Atticus to give you the baby after he closes the door behind them, but he shakes his head instead.

"I'll take care of her for now, sweet. We'll be alright." He let out a small sigh and gave the little girl a tight-lipped smile; you could tell he was also tired. "Rest, you need it." 

You were too tired to argue. "Let me give her a kiss goodnight." He obliges and leans down so you can gently kiss her head. 

"And one for you too." 

You guide him down to you by his tie and press your lips to his. It was a long road to get here, but you made it, elated to have your little family. The moment ends shorter than you would have liked but you tell him thank you, and with that, you allow yourself to drift into slumber.

[ballad-of-birdy-lamb]

heyyaaaaa can i pretty please request for an atticus x reader? maybe atticus grows a little liking for his new neighbor (reader) and has been inviting them over for dinner a little too often and his kids are like “you sure you don’t like them 🤔?” And atticus tries to brush it off but it’s very obvious

You never knew how much I really like you.

Atticus Finch x Gender Neutral! Reader romantic headcanon to (small) fic Summary: Atticus's feelings were beyond noticeable, even to Jem and Scout Warnings: None Word Count: 1.4k ₊˚⊹ᰔಇ.

The first time Jem and Scout see Atticus so red in the face is when they are walking back from returning Dill to his house. Their father was standing by your fence, smiling happily as you talked about your day. His cheeks were red as he admired you. When the two got close enough, they heard him ask you to come over for dinner. You accepted it as any good new neighbor does, said your goodbyes, and went back into the home.

“You’re real red-faced, Atticus,” Scout would point out, squinting to look up at her father. Atticus looked over at them and wiped his face, not realizing how obvious it was. He picked her up carefully and walked down the sidewalk back to their home.

“It’s from the sun,” he justifies casually. They felt it was off, he was in the sun all the time, grew up in the south, and they never saw him sweat or undone. His justification made little sense to them.

Atticus spent the night helping Calpurnia set the dining room up for dinner later that night, setting the table with the fine China the kids barely saw outside of very nice holidays or very nice guests. Each moment made Scout and Jem question him more.

“They’re just a new neighbor, why do they get the good China?” Scout would ask plainly, though her tone carried an odd judgmental characteristic. Atticus shook his head and set another plate in Jem’s usual spot.

“They’re still new to the town, it’s good to show them that they’re welcome,” Atticus answered and gave the girl the forks, motioning for her to help set up too.

The dinner was spent with Atticus (a little too cheerfully by Jem’s idea) asking you questions about your life before coming to Maycomb, what you did for a living, and how you were as a person. Scout and Jem would occasionally pipe in and ask you questions, mostly having to do with how you feel about random things (things they like, the Radleys, etc.).

The dinner would end well… that’s what Jem and Scout would say if they didn’t have to go to bed before you left. While they got ready for the night, they occasionally would hear your laugh with Atticus’s, and the sound of the dishes being put away. Just before you left, they got to their bedroom window, watching you leaving the house with a smile. Atticus was probably smiling too, again, a little too red-faced for Scout and Jem to think it was nothing but the sun.

Weeks would go by and seeing you over in their home wasn’t new at some point. The two would wait, watching the corner for Atticus to come home, getting bored from it, and look around to find him talking to you. You stood by your white fence and spoke with great joy on your face, a similar expression on their father's face. They could only guess what was offered by Atticus once they saw the fine China later that night.

“Do you think adults cannot have normal adult friendships?” Atticus asked, sitting down in the living room chair, the accusations of adoration finally spilled by Scout. The sound of sizzling food in the kitchen filled the home with a warm glow, not only from the smell but also from the warm orange light. Scout stood with a blank face and shook her head.

“No,” she said aimlessly. Atticus smiled slightly at her bluntness.

“You had them over twice last week alone,” Jem chirped as he walked from the dining room. “And all the food Calpurnia keeps making for you both are very nice.”

“I treat my guests well,” Atticus stated simply, picking up his book, and opening one of the pages. “I am nothing more than a friend.”

The dinner was spent again like the weeks before, Atticus getting more comfortable with the talking points, and accepting whatever witty comment you made with a chuckle. Scout would fake a gag if a topic changed to something more romantic than she would want her father to be a part of and Calpurnia would pull her away and give her a talk about being kind to her guests. But you weren’t a guest at this point! You essentially live here!

Atticus couldn’t hate you, neither could Jem and Scout. You were kind, even if their father found you fond in a way beyond friendship, it was slightly understandable. You spent your time telling them interesting stories about your life before Maycomb, odd stories about how you’d live before the simplicity of now.

“Atticus likes them,” Jem would say, sifting through his pyjama drawer. You had arrived that night barely an hour before their usual bedtime, only giving them a small amount of time to chat and ask questions.

“I know,” said Scout honestly.

The dinners get more personal, later in the day, there is more time for you and Atticus to be alone without the children needing entertainment, allowing adult talk. Jem and Scout being gone meant he was left with you, getting your attention more to how he truly acted.

The redness of his cheeks, the smile on his face most of the dinner didn’t just get past you. You have been over so many times there wasn’t a moment when you didn’t notice those things. By the end of the dinner, you found your way to the swing on the porch.

“How do you feel about me?” You asked after several seconds of awkward silence. The night had grown quiet, the only sound was the chirps of crickets and cicadas. Atticus sat so close the warmth of your thigh was felt by his own.

“What do you mean?” Atticus asked after clearing his throat. He gently took his glasses from his face and wiped the lenses with a handkerchief. You hesitated momentarily, wondering if you were overreacting and overthinking, or if your ideas were true.

“I mean…,” you trail off, turning your eyes to your hands. “Do you like me?”

Atticus wiped the lenses of his glasses carefully, smiling slightly at the idea. “I do like you,” he admitted, looking away from his glasses for a second to look at you. “You’re very kind, a good neighbor if you will.”

You muse at his answer and shake your head. “No! I mean to have feelings for me. Do you like me like that?” You hastily specify, watching him closely. Atticus moved slowly, taking his time cleaning one of the smudges from the left lens. It was horrific how slow he was moving to answer. “I’ve seen how you look at me.”

“I am glad you can see,” Atticus jokes with a small smile, placing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose. “I have grown a fondness for you… I wouldn’t say it grew as time went on, I thought you were attractive when I first saw you.”

Your eyes stayed on him as he spoke, taking in his words silently. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you at a romantic moment, over a nice dinner or something you would have preferred. But since you asked, I might as well confess,” his words flowed out naturally, like he was in front of a jury, confessing something minute.

“Prove it,” you challenge. It was mostly a joke, very obviously too, but part of you wanted to know he wasn’t just saying those things to get your hopes up. No, Atticus wouldn’t do that. Then again, you only knew so much.

“A kiss then?” He straightened himself and sighed. “I usually wait a bit, but lord only knows how long I’ve got. I might as well kiss you before I can’t.”

Your head went from a slow to a quick nod. Yeah, that is true. Getting a kiss in wouldn’t hurt anyone, definitely not you. Your face was beyond warm and if Atticus dared to touch your face now, he might ask if you’re sick, which wouldn’t be preferred for obvious reasons. “Yeah… yeah, that will do,” you mutter with a smile.

Atticus nodded and moved until your thigh squished against his. It was very obvious he hadn’t done such a thing in a long while, he was beyond rusty with you in his hold, his hands moving from your shoulders to your upper arms. The smell of sandalwood filled your nose as he moved his glasses to his head, letting them sit carefully before leaning in just enough.

His lips were warm, thankfully. You could only hope yours were too since it seemed your spirit left your body at that moment. Atticus was just as gentle when he kissed as when he spoke, keeping it intense enough to be romantic but not too much to be something more. Your hands, almost like instinct, held his lapel, needing to keep him close.

If only he could kiss you forever.

₊˚⊹ᰔಇ.

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[gogandmagog]

Rilla of Ingleside, Chapter 5.

First of allllll, I adore this lush and scenic opener, where Rilla is taking herself down to Rainbow Valley, and is staring unseeingly at the “dazzling blue sky of the August afternoon – so blue, so peaceful, so unchanged,” because the use of ‘unchanged’ is so deliberately antithetical to our newly very much changed Rilla, having shed her first self. I know it doesn’t come around until a little later in this book, but I am thinking here of one the (imo) ‘very best of’ lines of Mauds, “The body grows slowly and steadily but the soul grows by leaps and bounds.” 🥹🥹🥹

“When our women fail in courage,  Shall our men be fearless still?”    Well, here Anne is quoting Kate Tucker Goode’s poem, published in 1914, called “Calebs Daughter,” which is itself, of course, based on scripture, and it is peeerfectly coupled up with Rilla (and Anne) refusing to cry. Achsah (that’s Calebs daughter btw) of the bible is herself married to a godly man, who answers ‘the call’ to arms and goes to war, leaving Achsah waiting for his return. She does so with remarkable courage and faith. And soooo, with that in mind, and with Kate Tucker Goode’s poem openly referencing Achsah, a true example of summoned faith, we arrive at this first spot in this novel, which becomes a whole little theme in this novel... that part (maybe even a large part) of ‘the call’ upon women starts with the stoic-like commanding their own emotions, and that by so doing, they really help their loved ones in the service. 

ALSO and basically reiterating that the Blythe boys are meant to represent The Big Three different types of soldiers, is the way they even each individually approach their parents about enlisting. Hyyyyyped Jem doesn’t even ask, so much as tell, which I find immensely interesting when compared to sweet Shirley, who later does pointedly seek a blessing from Anne and Gilbert – despite ofc 18-year-old boys not requiring parental consent. (No need to mention poor Walter’s reluctance, 🥲.) 

Anne, eyes filled with “imploring anguish” says sooo much. Imploring, by definition = asking someone to please do something, and Gilbert reads the meaning of this look effortlessly, but in this situation and as with the recalling of the tragedy around Joyce, what can be done, indeed? I really start thinking of Maud’s own journal entries in this area, because when the war began unfolding around her and her community, and there was an irrefutable aura of tragedy and loss impending, she too began to reflect on the loss of her stillborn son Hugh. I won’t insert any quotes here though, like I’m sure everyone’s already depressed enough lmao. ): 

Gilbert and Rev. Meredith’s construction of a “patriotic society” is laksdflkasjfdlkaj, eternally endearing and stunningly insightful in terms of anticipating community needs. The scholars (as cited in the book of essays titled “L.M. Montgomery and War��, I can dig up which one exactly drew this conclusion is anyone caaares) have concluded that this is a fictional representative of the irl Candian Patriotic Fund, which was a brand new organisation (est. Aug. 1914), one that generated funds and manpower and provided social support, designed to help soldiers' wives and children (or any other dependent) that were left behind (sometimes without adequate provision). This meant anything from you directly donating funds, or even you offering your sparable manpower with like, a teenager willing and able to chop wood for the husbandless neighbor... oooor maybe if you’re a physician, you’re all in for providing free medical care (something we can cite good old Dr. Blythe with, in TBAQ, although tbh in this instance it is to do with low income families). I really, really love this. And it’s something so huge, communicated in such an easily passable line! 

Okay, what else? ALSO, that one line about Faith and Anne’s smiles chillssss me, because “a little stiff and starched,” reads exactly like you’d obviously expect from clothing. Or even, should we say... a uniform. Jem and Jerry are in theirs. So are Faith and Anne. 🥹 Stop it.

MUCH 2 say about Walter and Gilbert, and I’ll add/reblog to this a little later (looking for a particular cross reference), unlessaas I can hunt up someone else’s post to piggyback on. 🤡

[partyof4game]

Let's go with a classic:

How would the ROs react if, in the middle of an argument, the MC kissed them just to shut them up? Not a super serious discussion, just a silly discussion that the MC wants to win the argument using the kiss lmao

Lol! Okay! Obviously they are arguing over which tastes better: yellow apples or green apples. We all know yellow is the correct answer. 😉

Jem's spine goes ramrod straight as soon as your lips touch his. Once you let him go, he immediately surveys your surroundings to see who all noticed you guys being intimate in public, so he can gauge how embarrassed he should be, before turning back to you and saying, "Can you warn me next time? What if Vana saw? She wouldn't let us alone for the rest of the day!"

Raena would catch onto your antics before you could complete the kiss. Her face squished between your hands as you lean in, she'd lean back, laughing and protesting, "You cwan't siwence me wif fwat! Lemme gwoohh!!!" Then once she breaks free, she'd get revenge by swooping in to initiate the kiss herself. "Gotcha."

Vana would go still for the duration of the kiss, her dark eyes seeming to dance in amusement as she stares into your face. "I still believe green apples are superior for their culinary application, even if they might be a bit sour when eaten raw."

You throw your hands up. "You can't even cook!"

That would make her laugh and drop the subject, her fingers subtly moving to touch her lips when she thinks you're not looking.

Linzel would accept your kiss without fuss. Once you pull away, he'd slyly say, "Trying to shut me up, hmm? Well, I suppose it worked. But if you want me to remain silent, I suggest giving me more of those to keep me occupied..." Then, he'd pull you in close again, pressing his mouth against yours.

Maymie's hands fly to your shoulders, as if she's about to push you away, but she doesn't. When you finally pull away from the kiss, she's glaring at you, a little pout on her lips. She wants so badly to be mad at you for pulling that off, but really she's pleased as punch. "You just wait," she threatens you teasingly, "I'll get you back, so you better sleep with one eye open."

She forgets to get even, and you wait in anxiety for three nights in a row before you realize she's not actually getting you back... unless she's playing the long game???

Aslo hums deeply as you kiss him, his hands falling to your waist. When you pull away, he tries to chase your lips for a second before he stops, his brows dipping in confusion. "What was that kiss for?" he asks.

"Oh, no reason."

He gives you a doubtful look before shrugging. "Alright. Then uh... I don't remember what we were talking about."

Mission accomplished.

Sweets kisses you back softly, their eyes crinkled with amusement. "I have a feeling you want me to drop the topic," they say, laughing. "Life's too short for such a silly quarrel, so, you win. How about we find something better to do?"

"Like what?"

Their gaze turns smoldering. "I'm sure we can find something to do, no?" They touch your lips. "Maybe make more use of these..."

[bewareofitalics]

Susan keeps getting shafted by the editors! How dare they deprive us of "chirked up"?

Then Susan said briskly, "Well, we must just gird up our loins and pitch in. Business as usual is England's motto, they tell me, Mrs. Dr. dear, and I have taken it for mine, not thinking I could easily find a better. I shall make the same kind of pudding today I always make on Saturday. It is a good deal of trouble to make, and that is well, for it will employ my thoughts. I will remember that Kitchener is at the helm and Joffer is doing very well for a Frenchman. I shall get that box of cake off to little Jem and finish that pair of socks today likewise. A sock a day is my allowance. Old Mrs. Albert Mead of Harbour Head manages a pair and a half a day but she has nothing to do but knit. You know, Mrs. Dr. dear, she has been bed-rid for years and she has been worrying terrible because she was no good to anybody and a dreadful expense, and yet could not die and be out of the way. And now they tell me she is quite chirked up and resigned to living because there is something she can do, and she knits for the soldiers from daylight to dark. Even Cousin Sophia has taken to knitting, Mrs. Dr. dear, and it is a good thing, for she cannot think of quite so many doleful speeches to make when her hands are busy with her needles instead of being folded on her stomach. She thinks we will all be Germans this time next year but I tell her it will take more than a year to make a German out of me. Do you know that Rick MacAllister has enlisted, Mrs. Dr. dear? And they say Joe Milgrave would too, only he is afraid that if he does that Whiskers-on-the-moon will not let him have Miranda. Whiskers says that he will believe the stories of German atrocities when he sees them, and that it is a good thing that Rangs Cathedral has been destroyed because it was a Roman Catholic church. Now, I am not a Roman Catholic, Mrs. Dr. dear, being born and bred a good Presbyterian and meaning to live and die one, but I maintain that the Catholics have as good a right to their churches as we have to ours and that the Huns had no kind of business to destroy them. Just think, Mrs. Dr. dear," concluded Susan pathetically, "how we would feel if a German shell knocked down the spire of our church here in the glen, and I'm sure it is every bit as bad to think of Rangs cathedral being hammered to pieces." And, meanwhile, everywhere, the lads of the world rich and poor, low and high, white and brown, were following the Piper's call.

Sympathy for Catholics, will wonders never cease! And is that an acknowledgement of soldiers of color at the end there, or by "brown" did LMM mean, like, Shirley.

"It is my opinion that the cat has hydrophobia," said Cousin Sophia solemnly. "I once heard of a cat that went mad and bit three people—and they all died a most terrible death, and turned black as ink." Undismayed by this, Susan opened the door and looked in.

Actually, Cousin Sophia, I think you'll find that it's Susan who has Hyde-rophobia. *runs away*

Anything like Doc's shrieks while the process was going on was never heard at Ingleside. Susan was in mortal dread that the Albert Crawfords would hear it and conclude she was torturing the creature to death. Doc was a wrathful and indignant cat when he was freed. Evidently he thought the whole thing was a put-up job to bring him low. He gave Susan a baleful glance by way of gratitude and rushed out of the kitchen to take sanctuary in the jungle of the sweet-briar hedge, where he sulked for the rest of the day. Susan swept up her broken dishes grimly. "The Huns themselves couldn't have worked more havoc here," she said bitterly. "But when people will keep a Satanic animal like that, in spite of all warnings, they cannot complain when their wedding bowls get broken. Things have come to a pretty pass when an honest woman cannot leave her kitchen for a few minutes without a fiend of a cat rampaging through it with his head in a salmon can."

[estrellami-1]

Jemma

I’m not super happy with the ending but I would die for Jemma.

When the bell rings, Robin wearily sighs, stands, and affixes her hat on her head. “I hate you,” she mutters to Steve on her way out the door. “You and your stupid fair plan.”

Steve chuckles, knowing she doesn’t actually hate him or his plan; she just hates when it’s her turn to serve someone.

It’s a fairly straightforward procedure, which means Steve is surprised—and a little concerned—when through the door, he can hear Robin floundering her words. “Oh, no- don’t cry, please, it’s- it’s okay, it’ll be okay, um- Steve? A little help here?”

He forgets the hat, walks out of the break room in three long strides. “What’s wrong?”

He blinks when he sees a little girl standing in front of them, big blue eyes watering. “Oh,” he murmurs. “Hi, there. Where’s your mommy?”

Her lip quivers even more. “Calaf’wnya.”

Steve’s brows hit his hairline. “Okay, uh, where’s your daddy?”

That, apparently, was the wrong question to ask. She bursts into tears. “I dunno!” She sobs and hiccups, and Steve and Robin turn wide eyes onto each other.

“I do not know how to handle kids, Steven,” Robin hisses at him, looking about four seconds from her own breakdown.

Steve doesn’t think he’s fantastic with kids, but he’s at least better than Robin, so he nods. “Can you handle the store while I help her find her dad?”

Robin nods. “Please.”

He nods to her, then moves to crouch in front of the little girl. “Oh, hey, it’ll be okay. I’ll help you find your daddy, okay?”

Her eyes seem even bigger and bluer with the tears. “Pwomise?”

“I promise,” he nods. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Jemma.” She crosses a black curl in front of her face, like she’s embarrassed.

“That’s a beautiful name, Jemma. I’m Steve. Can I guess how old you are?” He grins at her excited nod. “Okay. Hmm… are you… three?” She shakes her head and holds four fingers up. “You’re four? Oh, wow. You’re so big! Can you guess how old I am?”

She looks at him with big eyes and asks wonderingly, “Two hundwed?”

He ignores Robin’s snort as he picks Jemma up. “Not quite,” he answers. “I’m twenty-six.”

Her eyes get even bigger. “That’s so many,” she says wonderingly. “Do you know evewything?”

Steve stifles a laugh. “Not quite everything, but I do know a lot. But I bet you know a lot, too. D’you know your daddy’s name?” She shakes her head. “That’s okay. Do you know what your mommy calls your daddy?”

Her face brightens. “Asshole!”

Robin collapses in giggles onto the countertop. Steve fights not to follow her example. “Okay,” he says. It only comes out a little shaky. “Does she call him anything else?”

“Eddie,” she nods. “Sometimes baby, but that’s when she has hew juice and is happy.”

Steve’s heart clenches. “Okay,” he answers. “How about if I put you up on my shoulders, so you can be way up high and see everything, and we go yell for your daddy?”

“M’kay’!” She agrees, so Steve situates her on his shoulders before turning back to Robin.

“You gonna be okay for a few minutes?”

“I’ll be fine,” Robin nods, grinning at Jemma. “You’d better help her. She needs it more than me.”

Steve chuckles. “You’re the best.”

“And don’t you forget it!” She calls on his way out of the store.

In the main hall of the mall now, Steve’s breath tries to catch in his throat. There’s a lot of people, and he’s not exactly sure how to do this. Finally, he decides to just go for it, parading up and down as he yells. “Eddie! Jemma is looking for you!”

“Daddy!” Jemma tries to help, even if her voice is too small. Steve gives her a high-five anyways.

On his way down a side hall, he hears someone behind him. “Jemma!”

“Daddy?” Jemma squirms on Steve’s shoulders, and he turns around to see a man running their direction. “Daddy!” She squeals, kicking in earnest, trying her best to swan dive off Steve’s shoulders.

He quickly lifts her off and holds her securely enough she won’t fall as he and Jemma’s father move towards each other.

“Oh, Jem, I was so worried about you,” he says quietly, taking her from Steve. “You can’t do that, okay? You can’t run off, remember?”

Jemma’s lip wobbles. “‘M sowwy, Daddy,” she says. “I wanted ice cweam.”

He kisses her forehead and hugs her close. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” he whispers, then looks at Steve. “Thank you so much for helping her.”

Jemma wiggles in his grasp. “Daddy! Daddy he wowks in the ice cweam stowe! An’ he helped me! An’ his name is-” she frowns, turns to look at Steve. “I fowgot.”

Steve chuckles. “My name is Steve,” he tells both her and her father. “Eddie, right?”

“That’s me,” he confirms with a nod. “Please tell me she wasn’t too much trouble.”

“None at all,” Steve promises, then grins. “She’s an absolute riot, actually.”

Eddie winces. “What did she say this time?”

“I think this might be my fault,” Steve admits. “I was trying to find out your name, so I asked what her mom calls you.”

“Oh no,” Eddie whispers.

Steve nods. “She was very confident. And, uh, very willing to share.”

Eddie winces again. “Baby? Or-”

“Both,” Steve nods, then smiles. “But it worked out in the end, we found you. And maybe you two could get a couple of cones? On me?” He grins. “I’ve found there’s not much that a good ice cream cone can’t fix.”

Eddie smiles apologetically. “We’ve actually got to go,” he says, then shifts. “But maybe I could give you my number? Buy you dinner to thank you?”

Steve grins as he looks Eddie up and down. “Just dinner?”

Eddie stares at him. “I’ll try to get a sitter.”

“Deal,” Steve grins, offering his hand to shake.

When he makes it back to the store, he grins at Robin. “Put a tally on the scoreboard, Robin, I’ve got a number. And, if I play it right, a date.”

Robin judges him with her eyebrows. “Did you really hit on a girl out there?”

Steve snorts. “No. But Jemma’s dad is very appreciative. He wants to thank me over dinner.” He smirks and leans over the counter to get into her space in a way he knows annoys her. “And he’s gonna get a sitter.”

Robin narrows her eyes at him. “I don’t know what you are, Steve Harrington, but one day I’ll figure you out.”

Steve snorts. “I don’t doubt it.”

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[jamiedc-they-them]

Bottom to the top (Platonic)

Request: I miss ur writing so much so I was wondering if you could do like an angst agents of shield one where the reader is stuck at the bottom of the ocean with fitz and Simmons but somehow finds a way to save both of them but reader ends up like really hurt?

Summary: Being friends with two beacons of light in this world is nice with the life at SHIELD you had. It makes you want to ensure that light never goes out, even at your own expense. But those two catch you.

Waking up first in the pod, you hear a clang against the side. Then you open your eyes. Sunlight, if disturbed, is reaching you.

Looking out the window, you see why it was disturbed. Because it's going through the water.

A lot of water.

One breath would maybe just be enough to get you up there - but the problem was getting through the window. The rush of the water would be like a shotgun blast hitting armour, you'd live, but the shock would be knock all the air out of you.

You looked at your two friends, the two geniuses on this ragtag team who had surprisingly come together.

Fitz was up first. He saw the water, then looked to you. You and Fitz had a bond built on understanding, you both struggled with your mind, your cruel minds. Fitz had his father, you had a life of SHIELD to thank for yours.

You were still loyal to the organisation, well the idea of the organisation and the people in it, just not the methods.

He sits with you by the window, watching the fish go by.

"You think we'll be sleeping with them soon enough?"

You snort.

"I'll make sure to leave the cannoli."

It's Fitz who snorts now, but you hear the tremble.

"Hey," you say, putting a hand on his lap, "I'm getting you out of here, ok?"

He sniffles, "how can you be so sure?"

You smile, but it's a small one, "I'll find a way to get you both out."

He clocks the way you don't count yourself in that - and yet, he doesn't correct or ask you.

Jemma soon wakes up, and though she is relived to see you both ok, she soon also realises your shared prediciment.

You help guide Jemma over to Fitz. She puts her hand on her head, before looking to you, "you're bruised."

"I ain't the one bleeding from the head."

"Still, let me look --"

"Hey, hey," You say, crouching to her level, "you look after your head, ok? We'll get through this," you squeeze her hands, "I promise."

Jemma nods, still shaken and processing everything.

Fitz and her talk about energy and how it is never destroyed, and how it becomes something new.

Fitz then looks to you. He's never been a supernatural believer, at least religious wise - but there is that slight comfort in energy never dying. A part of you always technically existing. Just in case this all goes south.

He sees you working. Never one to give up, but he notices you're only holding one mask. Human nature makes him gulp - comfort or not via the energy, it's still dying.

He sees you put the mask down, and put your hands into a fist. His eyes soften a small bit, your ability to take pain away from others.

"Fitz," Jemma says, "what is it?"

She then looks to you," are you ok?" she asks you.

You turn to her, your eyes for once betraying how you feel.

"We'll be ok," she says, even if her voice shakes.

You give her a smile, "I know you will."

"Don't talk like that."

You look to Fitz. He holds his hand out. You squeeze it. Jemma sees some light go from him to you.

"No," she begs, "no, please --"

"It's already done, Jem."

You've seen her look heartbroken before, but this, this look of hopelessness, makes you falter.

"Please don't do this...you're my - our - best friend."

"You're mine, too. But this, this is how I can help you. I make sure you get out. You both get me out, too. But..." your voice shakes a bit, "just in case this goes sideways...you both are such an important part of my life, and I hope you resolve this thing between you both."

Fitz's cheeks go red. You snort, despite the sob making its way up your throat. Jemma half laughs and sobs, before kissing your cheeks and forehead multiple times. She then knocks it against yours, just in case.

She barely lets out her "no!" as you hit the button.

Fitz can feel the hit, just not the pain. Meaning he recovers quickly and his able to grab you. Jemma uses the mask, getting that jolt of air that she needed - your power could only handle one person at a time - and helped pull you up.

She didn't know when she fell asleep, but she woke up to Director Fury above her, and the first thing he did was assure her you were ok.

She goes to see you in a pod, with Fitz sat next to you.

"Are you feeling ok?" she asks Fitz, holding his hand.

"As I can be," he says.

She puts her head on his shoulder, "we'll be here, every step of the way."

He presses a kiss to her hair, "I didn't plan on being anywhere else."

You made sure they got out ok, they'll make sure you recover as best you can.

Things are changing, you probably will some way from this. But, they know one thing that won't:

Your loyalty to each other.

[bam-bi-buck]

8x03 SPOILERS

Love Maddie’s confusion when Bobby & Buck called her

Lmao “I never would have guessed”

“It’s called acting” 🤣

“LAX is no longer an option” why is that so haunting 😭

“I was already in the pacific - not itching to go back” Athena

Buck looks so sad when Athena says they’ll miss LAX 😭

“You’re on the 110”

“And you’re headed right towards me” they’re so in love 🥺

They already knew what the other was thinking

The slow turn between Maddie & Josh 🤣

MOTORCYCLIST BUCK!!!

Love Hen, Chim, & Eddie looking like they’re modeling on that firetruck while a plane flys directly over them?

“That sounded different in my head” 🤣 Athena 🤣

Buck! Honey! Be careful! Those cars are not paying him any mind

Jem flipping on the seatbelt sign lmao

“Oh you sweet naive man” 🤣

“I think your boy just shut down the road” heck yeah! That is Bobby’s boy and he did do that!!!

“I will be right here waiting for you” 😭

Them y’all 😭

I did not understand a thing that flight instructor dude said

Poor Jem going into a state of shock 😭

He needs a hug

Those shots of the plane over Buck and Bobby staring it down - cinematography

Dude Bobby has a steel spine what the hell

“Welcome to Los Angeles” DUDE

That one lady with the dog is absolutely stunning

Jem got his hug!!!

Man Buck is fast, he’s already back at the scene of the action

“You look like that actor from TV”

“Yeah I get that a lot” 🤣

“She says you have to come get her”

My mom “yeah that sounds about right”

It’s the 118!!!

“I’m just going with it”

Buck why don’t you have your gear on? Or the extra gear? We know there’s some on the rigs we saw it when Eddie helped with the dispatch fire

“Buck put him in the hospital”

“What?”

“I’d explain but it’s more fun not to” oh Chim

Athena knows!!!

Them hiding in the fake fire truck is so funny to me idky

“That works too”

Love how you can see Bobby’s wheels turning - everyone in the 118 loves solving mysteries

Mom asked if Dennis “stabbed him in the leg” and I said “I’m pretty sure it was in the dick” and then she’s like “what nice word choice” and I said “that’s what it is!”

I like Athena’s line about being free

Hen is a better captain then you’ve ever been or you’ll ever be you jackass

You can tell Eddie is struggling to find the words

I HATE Gerrard but him saying vulgar about Hen using an examination point got me, ngl, I did snort

I also laughed at everyone’s expressions when he hugged Buck

And also why did he say “feel these arms around you? This is me taking you under my wing.” ??? He could have just said that last part, the first part was so unnecessary and honestly kind of creepy like why would you say that??? To your subordinate???

Also why is he rocking Buck???

I hate him he’s so yucky 🤢

[fangirlstorycreator]

Hello! 🖤 I have an ask, what do you think Thranduil would think of himself if he stumbled upon a precarious human who was injured and found himself falling in love with her? 🤌🏻 could you write something like that? 🙏🏼 maybe he drapes his amazing cloak around her when she panics over her predicament?? Thank you in advanced 🖤🖤

I am very happy to write a thranduil story for you! I hope you'll enjoy, it's my first time writing for him 😁

Your eyes were just starting to open as you felt the warm sun shine through the window, the night before you had stayed in a pub called The Prancing Pony, and the room you were staying in had a window right next to your bed. You sit up it bed and rub the sleepiness from your face, knowing another god damn day was about to start. You were a lone warrior who traveled all over middle earth, you had no home, no family and your bed was pretty much anywhere you could find at the end of the night.

Weather that would be a bed like this one, or the forest floor on your travels, it's safe to say you much preferred the bed to the ground. You had stayed at the Prancing Pony many times before, as it was a good place inbetween travels where you could rest up and carry on with your days. You would travel across middle earth and help to rid villages of dangers, weather it be a monster, a band of orcs, or worse. It was just the norm for you now, and there didn't seem to be anything that would change that, not that you knew of at least.

You got dressed into your light armour then made your way downstairs to the man behind the bar, he offered you some food for the road after you paid him, and you accepted happily. Once you left The Prancing Pony, you walked over to the horse stables and collected your horse Thunder, aptly named because the first time you met him he was just a pony and he helped you out of a rather nasty thunderstorm. As you were walking Thunder down the path, a man ran up to you looking rather out of breath, and quite panicked. "Miss! Miss! I see you have weapons on your back! Are you a fighter?!" "Technically yes, I've slain orcs and monsters, and I can hold my own in a fight" "Really? Oh thank the gods! Please, I need your help" "What's wrong?" "It's my son! He ran away from home after an argument, spouting that he was the strongest in the family and he would prove it! He's ran away to Mirkwood forest" "Mirkwood? Why Mirkwood?" "He wanted to bring back the head of the monstrous spider! But I told him that there were too many and it would be suicide! Please, can you try to find him?......I....I know there is a chance he's already gone....if the worst has happened, please could you being his body back so we can bury him in our family plot?"

There was so much pain in his voice, like the thought of his son being dead was too hard to bare. "I will try to find him, and I will try to bring him back to you alive" "Oh thank you miss, I have many jems hear to pay you for your effort" "We can discuss payment once I'm back, until then, I should get going" "Thank you again my lady" "Oh-uh" For such a long time you haven't liked being referred to as a lady, your not a royal and you never act like a lady anyway, especially not the way you talk, act and fight. "Y/N is fine" And with that, you carried on out of the little village and headed towards Mirkwood. With Thunder being your horse, you were able to travel at great distances, within a short amount of time, you were able to pass by Last Bridge and Bruinen. It was night fall by the time you both reached the other side of the misty mountains, you were tempted to ask for shelter in Rivendel, but you weren't sure what kind of welcome you would receive. You had heard stories about the elves, and the ones at Rivendel seemed nice enough, but it was the ones in Mirkwood who most people spoke ill about. You had heard many stories, mostly to do with the history of Thorin Oakenshield and the King of Mirkwood. They had some kind of falling out and there was hatred on both sides, it may have been something to do with Smaug, the dragon who attacked Erabor.

According to witnesses, The Elf king did nothing to help the Dwarf king and his people after Smaug took their home, and that there were rumours that the same elf king captured them and kept them his dungeons when they tried to claim their home back. That's the bad side some people see, but there were others who pointed out that the Elf king helped in the battle of the five armies, although, apparently he was there already to take back something from Erabor. But again, he also lended aid to the people of Dale after the dragon attack, there were so many stories, you couldn't make heads or tales of it. This was running through your mind as you settled down for the night at the edge of the mountains, with you and Thunder warming up by the fire. You decided it was just better to avoid this King or any of his other elves when you were in there, it was going to be difficult enough having to find this young man, in Mirkwood of all places. People have gone mad or even died in that place, and you didn't want to be another one of those people who was whispered about when stories were told. After having something to eat, you drifted off to sleep, lying against Thunder as he leans close to the fire.

The next morning, you awoke from the sunrise and you grabbed something to eat from your backpack as you started getting ready to move again. Not forgetting to feed Thunder of course, he loves his crunchy apples, he couldn't get enough of them. Once you were both fed and ready, the journey started again, and it wasn't long at all before you reached the edge of Mirkwood, with this peculiar looking entrance, it looked very aged, but also like it had been hand carved by the finest eleven hands. You knew that taking Thunder in there was going to be dangerous, however, Thunder was a very stern horse indeed. Over the years, when you have tried to keep him away when your on a dangerous mission, he would find a way to join you, and wouldn't let you do it alone. You were stuck with him, there was no question. "You ready old friend?" He gave a positive winny noise, and it made you smile. Taking his reigns, you lead him through the entrance and into the forest, hoping that this whole situation would be over soon. You had only been in there for 10 minutes, and it was already feeling difficult to breath, let alone anything else.

The atmosphere had an almost misty feel to it, yet you could see fine, it was like your vision was trying to trick you. The air was heavy and you felt dissy due to what felt like lack of oxygen, but you kept going, looking for any sigh of that young man. Thunder stopped in his tracks, and was clipping his hoof against something on the ground, you climb down to look, and pick up a piece of fabric, and it had the same colour of the shirt the father was wearing, this must be from the young man you were suposed to find. You were clever not to shout for him, this forest could be hiding a whole host of dangers, including the very creatures this man came in hear to find in the first place. You weren't going to draw attention to yourself, so quietly you kept on moving, finding more and more pieces of this material as you followed. Until one piece had some blood on it "Oh god, I hope this is just from a little wound" You said to Thunder, that's when Thunder took a few steps back and looked a little scared, you stroked him to help calm him, and that's when you turn to see what he saw. Behind you in the trees were many cocooned bodies in spider webs, there had to be at least 30, and some of them you could see where long gone.

Skeletons haunted this feeding ground, but you weren't looking for skeletons, this man was hear recently. You left Thunder on the ground and climbed the tree, looking for this man, when out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash of colour, the sake colour as the pieces of material you've found. It was him, wrapped up in this spider web. You climbed over to him and sliced him down with your little blade, he slowly fell to the floor as you jumped back down. Again you use your blade to slice open the webbing, and your so thankful he is breathing. He start to stir, he mumbled with his eyes closed. "N-no mumma, I don't want a sweetroll-" "Hey! Wake up!" You say as you slap him in the face, making him jolt awake and sit up. "What the-How did I-Who are you?! Did you just slap me?!" "Yes I did! Your father sent me hear to find you because he's worried sick about you, why would you be so stupid to run off on your own into Mirkwood, in search of spiders, on PURPOSE?!" "I wanted to bring back the head of a spider to prove I was strong!" "Don't you think a better idea would be to NOT go and hunt a dangerous monster to prove your strength? And instead prove to be a better son? And not scare your father in the process? To the point where he thinks your dead?! You had no skill to do this alone!"

"Excume me! What makes think that?!" You look at him with and angry face, and point up to the spiders webs, and the webs around him. "Hello! You were going to die you moron!" "Alright alright point made" "Good, now, look behind my horse there, do you see that?" "It looks, like a thin wire rope" "It is, I tied it around a part of the entrance of this forest, we will follow it and get out of this place. Then! You will go straight home and apologise for acting like an idiot to your father!" "But-" "Do I make myself clear?!" "Fine! Yes you do" After giving him a stern look, he brushes the rest of the webs off himself as you seen if Thunder is ok, but something is wrong, you sence a presence, a bad one. You turn around and see not one, but three enormous spiders advancing down the tree towards you all.

"Get out of hear now! Follow the wire!" "But what about you-" "Just get out now!" This man ran towards the wire, following it to the entrance of the forest as you ready your weapons. You shoot your cross bow at one spider hitting it straight in the eye and making it fall out of the tree to it's dead, still twitching. The other two run towards you, the swerve inbetween them and slice the leg of one, leaving it in pain and unable remove properly, that's where Thunder comes in.

He races over and starts attacking this wounded spider, kicking it in the body and face with his front and back legs, he has one hell of a kick on him, and he is destroying this spider. That leaves you to focus on the last one, that just so happens to be the biggest, and you notice it had many scars, it's seen battles, will it meet its fate in this one? It charges at you with lightening speed, knocking your weapon out of your hand and pins you up against the tree. Your holding it back by it's fangs, that are trying desperately to bite you, it's so hard keeping him away from your neck. So you kick the back of the tree, and reveal a blade that spikes out of your shoe, which you use to stab this spider in the throat, causing it to squeal and drop you due to the pain. You had no idea how high this spider was holding you, and you fell to the floor and felt a tremendous amount of pain, it was coming from your left arm, thankfully you were right handed, but you were still injured and weren't sure you were going to make it. You try attacking this spider again and again, getting a few injuries in, but it's too quick and to strong, and at one point, it grabs you and throws you against a tree, you feel something break but you don't know what. You fall to the floor in tears of agony, holding your ribs and struggling to breath, your bloodied and bruised, and Thunder is struggling with his own spider, he is unable to get to you. Your spider gets closer and closer to you, you have no way to move without pain, is this it? Were you about to be taken out by this spider?

It's within inches of you now, and you close your eyes as its about to strike at you with it fangs, when suddenly you don't feel anything from it. You just hear the sound of something shooting through the air, and when your eyes open you see an arrow has been shot into this spiders side, causing it to get angry, stand away from you and look for whoever shot it. Out of nowhere, about 15 elves jump out of the bushes and trees, and start attacking this giant spider, and the one that Thunder is struggling with too. The pain is too much and you collapse against the tree, trying desperately to hold in the tears and wishing for this pain to go away. The spider sees you and tries to strike at you again, when suddenly an incredibly tall man jumps out from behind you and stands infront, brandishing his blade to stop this monster. His sword slices one of it's fangs off like it was made of butter, and the spider retreats back in pain, allowing the other elves to attack it more. Your vision is getting harder to focus, the pain it too much, so it doesn't even cross your mind this Elf had knelt beside you to see if your ok, until you see his eyes. His piercing eyes, like sapphires and diamonds blended together in perfect balance.

His hand rests against your cheek, but before you could say anything, you pass out and fall forward, but he catches you before you fall.

The elves had just killed both the spiders as this elf picks you up and holds you in his arms, being careful not move you to much incase it hurts you more. Thunder races over to your unconscious body, and looks panicked. "Do not worry....your rider will be alright with the help of my kin" Somehow, Thunder both understood him and believed him, but he still looked worried down at you. "We will bring them both back to the palace, make sure this magnificent horse is tended to.......I shall take this woman to the healers....let's go" Time seemed to feel so short when you felt yourself waking up again, was it all a bad dream? Did that fight really happen? Your eyes adjusted to the surroundings, but something was wrong, everything was different. You could see you were in a beautiful silk white bed, enormous for just one person, the walls and decorations were beautiful, cream and white in colour, with what looked like green leaves and ivy growing in and around the walls, making it look incredible. Your so busy wondering what happend and where you were, that when you try to sit up, a sharp pain hits you like a bolder. "Hhhsss! By the gods! What the hell?" You pull back the silk quilt, and pull up your shirt to see a bandage delicately wrapped around your ribs, did someone heal you? That's when it all starts flooding back. Saving that man, being attacked by spiders, and elves coming to sav-Elves! The elves of the Mirkwood forest! So that means....I'm in the Mirkwood palace?

You look at the rest of you, and you see that your left arm is in a cast, and you can feel some bruises on your face and chest, but no cuts. Did the Elves use their healing abilities to help you? And if so, why? You manage to sit up and on the edge of the bed, where you hear a knock at the door. "Hello?" "Good day my lady, my name is Elenwen, may I come in?" She seemed polite, was she the elf who helped me?" "Y-yes" The door opened and this very well presented elf maiden entered the room with a trey of fresh fruits, baked goods and fresh water. "Oh, my lady you should be resting. Why don't you lie back in bed?" "No it's alright, I'm fine" "I'm sorry but I don't belive that. Not after I witness King Thranduil using his healing gifts to help you, according to him, you had 2 broken ribs, a broken arm and many other injuries too" "I'm sorry, did you say King?" "Yes, King Thranduil, he and his hunting party were out in the forest and happened upon you in the spiders den. He brought you and your horse back for care and assistance, that was 3 days ago" "Thunder is ok? Oh thank the gods-woh woh woh wait a second! 3 days ago?! I've been unconscious for 3 days?!" "You were healing my lady, your broken bones are nearly healed thanks to the king, and another few days and you should be much better" "I didn't think elven healing could be that quick. Oh, and....there's no need to call me lady, my names Y/N" "Ok, it's a pleasure to know your name Y/N. Is there anything else I can get you or help you with?"

"That's very kind of you, but I've already taken up enough of your time and resources. I'll just take Thunder and be on my way" "Oh you can't possibly do that yet! Your still healing, and the forest is dangerous for someone in your condition" "I'm sure I'll manage, I don't want to be a disturbance hear, I'm not exactly someone of royalty standards, I'm just a commoner. I honestly don't know why the elves helped me in the first place" "Royal or not, you were in need of help, and we gave it too you. Besides, the king asked me to inform him once you had awoken, he wishes to speak to you" "Let me guess, he's going to scald me about being on his land and in his forest?" "Of course not, why would you think that?" "I just assumed it would be that" "I can assure you that is not the case, shall I bring him in now?" "I'll just go to him, I've been in this bed for the days, I need to get out of it" "But I-" "I'm not staying in this bed any longer" "Well, alright, fine. But I'll only bring you to the king if you eat something first, you need your strength" "I'm not hungry, I don't need it" "No food, you stay in bed. And that's final" She seemed adamant about that, and you were in no position the move her out of the way and leave by yourself. So you agreed and ate some food, it was some of the best you had even tasted, once Elenwen was happy with you, she helped you out of bed and walked with you through the palace. The further you moves the darker the whole place got, but only in light, not in mood.

It actualy felt quite pleasant in hear, the walkways were made of these beautiful wooden tree roots, like the whole palace was built in and under an enormous tree of some sorts. It was difficult for you to walk quickly, but Elenwen knew this and walked slowly for you too, she seemed very nice. A few minutes later, she walks you across the biggest of these wooden root bridges, where there are these little steps leading to what looks like a big circular area, and in that, was a giant throne. It too was made out of the same things you walked across, there were two guards in either side of the throne, but right at the top, sitting there, was a majestic looking elf. And it wasn't until he looked down at you, that you remember something else from the spider attack, the diamond and sapphire eyes, they were his.

It's only then that the realisation hits you, the very same man who protected you, was the king! You and Elenwen stood at the foot of the throne, and Elenwen said "My king, the lady Y/N wished to approach you instead of in her bedroom quarters" The king can see your eyes roll when she says "Lady" again, you don't see it, but it actualy slightly amuses him.

"Guard, bring Y/N a chair" He does, and places it close to where you were. "Leave us, I wish to speak with Y/N alone" Both the guards and Elenwen leave the area, and now it's just you and the king. He walks down from his throne and stands just the right distance from you. "Please, take a seat" "That's kind, but I don't need one" "Don't need one?.....I'm suprised" You just shrug your shoulder, not knowing what to say. "So?.....might I ask, how you happend to be in the Mirkwood forest on your own?" "I was searching for someone" "And who might that be?" "A young man who had foolishly ran away to slay a spider, trying to prove his bravery and strength to his father" "I see, and did he get what he was seeking" "Nope, all he got was a smack in the face when I got him out of the spiders web, and a firm telling where to go because of his stupidity" This time you see it, a little smirk at the side of his face. "So, you saved this young man, and also smacked him in the face?" "If he hadn't have been acting like a wanna be spider hunter, he wouldn't have got himself into that mess. And because he nearly died from that, he needed a wake up call"

"I see....I like that.....so? Is that what you were doing there too? Trying to prove something?" "What do you mean by that?" "You entered this forest on your own, knowing the dangers. Were you acting like a wanna be spider hunter" "I wasn't acting like anything, I am someone who will help others in danger. I am skilled in fighting and weaponry, and I offer my help to those that need it and ask for it. This was my first time going up against spiders, it didn't exactly shock ME that I didn't get very far with them" "You nearly died saving that young man" "So?" ".......why did you say that?" "Because I did, what are you getting at?" "I just find it interesting how a young woman like yourself, who puts herself in danger all the time will say (So?) When asked about her own safety?" "Have you seen the world we live in? Safety isn't exactly easy to find. All over middle earth every day there are villages who happen to be in the way of some orc bandits. Or bears will pillage peoples homes, or innocent soldiers or bystanders will die in wars, that have no need to be happening anyway. I'm just doing my job, I help people and care for my horse, there is nothing else. And it's a dangerous job I do, so if I happen to die, that that's just what happens" He looks at you with a serious face, but the is also concern there too.

"When me and my kin were out hunting 3 days ago, we saved you from those spiders. But you yourself must have noticed that one was much bigger that the others?" "Actualy I did, and it had scars over its body" "That was because it was the most dangerous of the spiders nest. You see...there is a creature that hides away in some unknown location, me and my kin have tried and failed to find it. It is the biggest and most terrifying of the spiders, and it's name is Shelob. During it's time it had birthed only 3 children, as the others were eaten by those 3. And that spider who you fought in the forest, just so happens to be one of those 3 children. It has been responsible for many deaths of all races, and everytime my kin have tried to hunt it down, they have either never been found, or have been eaten by this beast. This is why I wished to speak to you" "What do you mean?" "Many of my kin have fallen to this monster within seconds, and none have lived.....and yet....you were attacked by this beast, and two others along side it. What I want to know....is how you did it?" "I don't know what to tell you, I just fought back. I shot a cross bow bolt into the head of one before it got out of the tree, I sliced the leg off another and my horse Thunder was beating him off. And as for the big one....I just did what I could, it didn't help that half way through, my left arm had broken and I wasn't able to hold myself in a fight anymore. But I tried, and when it threw me against the tree, I had no chance"

"But you fought it and lived" "No, I fought it, nearly died and then you and your soldiers turned up. I just got lucky" "Don't downplay what happend and what you did" "Why do you care anyway? I don't even see why you helped heal me either, I came onto your land without permission. You should have just left me there after you killed the spiders, I could have got myself back out of the forest" Simpathy now shines in his eyes. "Your not used to receiving help are you?" You fall silent, it occurs to you that he's actualy right. You have no family, no friends, just Thunder. And the majority of interactions you have with people are when they want something from you. And the ones that don't, only chat to you once they have your money. You weren't good at accepting help, you didn't feel like you deserve it, that's why you just wanted to leave this place and get back to what your life was. "The silence says it all Y/N......tell me....why do you not like to be referred to as (Lady)?" "How did you know I don't like that?" "I know many things....and I also saw that little eye roll when Elenwen called you that...I'm guessing with that fierce personality of yours, you have already told her you don't wish to be called that?" "Yeh, I did. I'm sorry, fierce?" "You don't think the same?" "Of course I don't, why do you?"

"Isn't it obvious? You travel these lands on your own, as I have not seen any companion with you. You travel everywhere to do others bidding for coin, you fight and slay monsters, you face danger and you have a flare for standing your ground and being what you want to be. I'd say that's a fierce personality if ever I've seen one" Why is he being so nice? "So again I ask you....why do you not like being called a lady?" "I don't behave like one, so I don't want to be called that" You are firm and strong in your answer, and yet strangely, he seems to like this. He has a small smile on his lips, why? "I must say.....I am impressed" "With what?" "......You of course" "Ok, what do you want?" "I beg your pardon?" "I said what do you want? You wouldn't be saying this kind of thing if you didn't want something from me. So what is it? Coin? To throw me in your dungeon?" "Y/N......I'm sorry" "Huh? For what?" "Im sorry that an extraordinary woman like you thinks that everyone is an enemy. You must have been through so much to think that, I'm sorry if I have said or done something to make you feel unsafe in my presence. I do not have an ulterior motive, I do not wish to throw you in the dungeon or take coin from you. I was simply giving you a compliment, you do impress me" Well....this was unexpected, you honestly didn't know what to say in response.

He held his hand out to you and said "You are my guest hear Y/N, and it's a pleasure to meet you" You take his hand with yours, it's surprisingly big, but soft and welcoming. He brought it to his lips and kissed your hand gently, all while keeping piercing eye contact. "And as my guest, you will be given any luxury you wish, what ever you wish for, you shall have" "That's really not necessarily, I don't need anything" "I insist...." "Look, I think it's just better if I go, I wouldn't want to take up your space or resources" "This is a palace, and as king I have overflowing resources. I must insist you stay until you are in a better condition" "I'm fine" "Do correct me if I'm wrong, but you are struggling to stand as we speak, and I can't see a part of you that isn't hurt. Please..." He does have a point, I suppose staying until your better makes sence, and him and his people have been helpful. "Alright, just until I'm ok to travel" "Wonderful....now, will you allow me to give you a tour of my home?" "Really?" "Of course, your going to have to know where things are if your going to be staying hear for a while" "Ok, it makes sense" "If you care to walk with me, I shall show you the palace" He offered his arm to you, but you politely declined with your hand, he nodded, but he was making sure to keep an eye on you, you were still weak from the spider attack.

He walked you through the palace and showed you many rooms and areas, kitchen, dining areas, balconies, beautiful rooms and many many other places in the palace. But he saved the best for last, he finaly lead you outside to the back of the palace, there was an enormous hidden garden at the back, and it was filled with sweet smelling wild flowers, fruit trees, planting areas and stables for horses. That's where you see Thunder. "Thunder!" He hears your voice and winnied at the sight of you, he happily trotted over to you and you hugged his face as he was finaly back with you. "Thank you for looking after him" "Your welcome, he is a wonderful animal. One of the strongest I've seen, and I've seen many over the years" "Thunder is a great horse, he's always been there for me. Anytime he sences danger, he won't leave my side" "A loyal animal....just like my stag I had many years ago....he unfortunately died in the last battle I fought" "If I may ask, was that the battle of the five armies?" "That's correct....I was there to retrieve something of mine, and I was willing to fight for it. But when the orc and goblins attacked too, I had to change my objective" "I've heard stories about the army, but not from someone who had been in the thick of it" "I do not wish to discuss it anymore" "That's fine, I'm not going to force you" He gives you a small smile, and you do too.

Your suddenly over come with a dizzy feeling, and your ribs hurt too. It causes you to loose your balance and hold your rib with your good arm, and within the second that happened, Thranduil is holding your back with his strong hands. "Y/N, what's wrong?" "I'm fine, just a little dizzy that's all" You say as he helps you stand back up again, still keeping one of his hands on your back. "Your still healing, you need time to rest. Allow me to take you to a part of the gardens where you can sit and I will stay to keep you company" "You don't have to keep me company if you don't want to you know" "I am the king, I can do what I wish. Thunder can come with us if it pleases you?" "That would be nice, thanks" This time when Thranduil offers you his arm, you take it. You didn't want to fall from pain or dizziness infront of him, so you did take his arm just this time. He lead you and Thunder through the rest of the garden to this wonderful river in the middle of this garden, there were other horses who were walking around wherever they liked, and Thunder happily trotted over to meet them. There was a beautifully carved wooden bench next to you, and Thranduil helped you to sit down and get comfortable.

His servants were all over the palace and gardens, and he asked one to bring some drinks and fresh food for you both, once they did, you simply sat and watched Thunder enjoying himself, whilst also getting to know Thranduil too. It was just general chit chat, getting to know eachother and finding out things about eachother. Hobbies, favourite food, memories, things you've done, your background in fighting and what you want to do in the future. For a king, he was surprisingly easy to talk too, and he didn't talk down to you, he treated you like an equal. After a few hours, that felt more like minutes, Thranduil got more trustworthy with you, and told you about the situation from the battle of the five armies. "My goal was to help the people who had been pushed out of their home in Dale, brought them food and medical supplies....but I did have a more pressing matter in mind....you see...many years before this happened, the late Thorin Oakenshield was in possession of some of my treasure, and I was intending to get it back" "And that's why you brought an army with you?" "The army was....a precaution..." "A precaution? There were 14 of them" "Nevertheless....it seemed it was good that I brought them with me....once the battle had begun"

"And....did you get your treasure back?" "I did....once the battle field was cleared and all those who fell in battle were laid to rest, including the late king. His kin, Dale Ironfoot returned the gems to me after Oakenshields funeral...and I brought them back to my home where they belong" "This treasure must have meant a lot to you" "Yes...you could say that..." "I'd think they would be to bring an army with you" He ever so slightly chuckled and said "I can't disagree with you on that" After your time spent getting to know eachother, he walked you back with Thunder to the horses stables, as it was time for the dinner to be served, Thunder was going to be fed with the other horses too. Thranduil lead you into the dining room, where the table was laden with so many different and delicious smelling foods, it made you feel like hunger was puching your stomach. Thranduil helped you to sit beside him, and the servants were all there to serve you food and your choice of wine too. This was so strange for you to experience, you hadn't been waited on before, there was a part of you that wanted to help the servers take the used plates down to the kitchen and help with the cleaning. But when you tried to offer any help, Thranduil said you needed the rest, you were a guest in the palace, and the kitchen had plenty of other staff to help them, and they were all paid very well for their jobs. Maybe that was just the commoner in you, wanting to do your bit, but now that you think of it, most of the staff in hear looked like they had better health and more wealth than many lords and ladies you had met throughout middle earth.

Once you were both fed and the table was cleared, Thranduil offered to walk you around the outside of the palace to view the beauty of the night before taking you back to your room. You accepted and together you both walked outside and witnessed the plants, trees and wildlife glow almost with this magical blue aura, it was like being in a magical hideaway. "This place is even more beautiful outside" "I agree, I do tend to just sit out hear most evenings and observe it's unique beauty" "Your so lucky to live hear" "It's my birthright, I'm not sure luck is anything to do with it. I'm sure your home is just as impressive" "If I had I home I might have been able to describe it" ".......You?....Don't have a home?" "Nope" "But.....where do you live? How do you manage to keep going? Where do you even sleep?" "I don't live anywhere, I don't have a house of my own, I just sleep anywhere there is a space. Weather it be in a tavern, if I have the coin for it. Or if I don't have coin, I'll just sleep under the stars on a bed roll or something. I keep going taking any work I can, I don't get much coin, but I don't need it, all I need is food, a place to rest my head on a night, and Thunder. And I don't have to be rich to have those things" "I'm.....I'm sorry this has burdened you" "Burdened? Don't be silly, I'm not burdened. There are people out there who are in far worse positions that me, I'm grateful for what I have" "But....don't you wish you could have more?" "Of course I do, what person wouldn't. But in life, whatever we want can't just happen magically or form out of thin air. Maybe in the future if I save some coin, I could rent a room out of a shared home, or something that won't result in me sleeping under a tree. But it's not a big issue for me"

He chuckled again "What's funny?" "I just....find it amazing how you can be happy, with so little in your life. No home, and yet...hear you are...smiling" "Because it's not the end of the world" You both smile, and your also nearly to your room again. Thranduil stands with you outside your door and bids you a good night, once again kissing the back of your hand. "Y/N, do tell me....where is it you normally stay if you have the coin?" "Well, it's Bree. It's right in the middle of all the places I travel too, and it's the perfect point to stop during travels. I could stay there for a good few days before I'm off again" "That's very interesting to know.....well, I shall leave you to rest...good night Y/N" "Goodnight Thranduil"

He gave you one last small smile, and walked back the way he came, presumably to go to bed himself. You enter your room and sit down on the bed, getting into some comfortable sleeping clothes, as you think about the whole day. You had just spent the day talking to and getting to know the king of the woodland elves, the KING! And after the stories you had heard about him, you now had your own, and a new perspective to think on. Despite him being a king, he was the first person to show you any kind of decency or respect, without wanting or needing something in return. It was a strange, yet welcoming thing to experience. You kept thinking about it as you drifted off to sleep, in the super soft bed that felt like you were sleeping on a cloud.

Staying in a palace for the next few days was so nice, and made a big change from being on horse back, or fighting to find a place to rest your head for the night. Thranduil had been so kind to you, helpful and really friendly. It seemed like he was coming out of this hardened shell, like he hadn't really had this kind of interaction with people for a long time. Yes he was surrounded by servants, but they were there to do a job, not to converse. You got the impression Thranduil was lonely, didn't he have any family? Children? Or a wife? It had been 3 days since you first arrived, and your bond with Thranduil was now close enough to call a genuine friendship, you both liked being around eachother, and got on like a house in fire. He was still reserved about many things, but that was understandable, you didn't pry into his personal affairs. You were finaly healed and were in fighting shape, and now you were ready to go back to that man in Bree to see if his son got back, and to collect your reward. You and Thranduil were sitting on a bench in the garden as the stars shone like diamonds in the sky, it was a warm evening and the air still had the scent of the warm pastries the kitchen staff had prepared for yours and Thranduils deserts that evening. As you sat, you both reflected on the bond you had struck, and the moments you had shared since forming this friendship.

"I can't believe I've been hear for nearly a week" "It's gone by quickly" "Absolutely, it will be nice to see Bree again though. And to see if that stupid son got back to his father in one piece" "If he didn't, are you planning to smack him again?" "Maybe....if he's not been an idiot" You both share a small laugh, and Thranduil keeps his smile, he didn't use to do that. If you were lucky you'd catch a glimpse of a smirk, but now, it was like he was a new man. "And don't forget, me and my kin will walk you through the forest to ensure you have safe passage" "That's kind of you, thank you. I won't lie...I'm a little nervous to go back out there again" "There is no need to be nervous, I will protect you with my life" "Your very kind" There is a comfortable silence as you watch the stars, when Thranduil says "Do you wish to return hear?" "Pardon?" "I mean....If you wish to return, you are more than welcome" "Is this your way of asking if I'll come back and visit you?" "........." "Thranduil...do you want me to visit you?" ".....That would.....be nice" "Then yes, when I close by, I'll come and visit" You could tell he was nervous about asking you that, but secretly you were happy he wanted you to come back, you were really going to miss him.

"I find....that I don't have anyone around to keep me company as of late. My son, Legolas he.....he is on his own path" "Don't you have anyone else hear with you? I wasn't sure if you were married either" "I was....a very long time ago.....you see, many years ago, I was betrothed by royal demand. Her name was Calathiel, she lived I'm Mithlond before travelling to Lothlórien, we were wed and we produced an heir, my son Legolas. But our marriage wasn't meant to be" "Oh?" "Whilst we were married and did what was expected of us, the love was only one sided. I did love her, and care for her a great deal. But alas, it was not reciprocated. There was a war that needed my help, and when I was gone, she ran from the palace....leaving Legolas behind. Once I found out, I came home and ordered everyone to find her....but it was too late. She was captured and tortured in Gundabad, she died there.....I have not spoken about her since" "Thranduil, I'm sorry that happened, I really am" "Worry not for me....this was the reason I took myself and my army to Erabor many years ago. They had the neclace and gems that belonged to my late wife, and I was there to take them back. They were all I had left of her, or so I thought. It wasn't until after the battle that I realised, my son....Legolas, he was.....I didn't need the gems, all I needed was him. But he chose to walk his own path, and now I have not seen him in many years"

He sounded heart broken by this, whatever happened between him and Legolas has scarred him. No wonder he seems lonely, he doesn't have anyone, you were glad you formed a bond with him, you both needed someone to be there for. "I'm sure Legolas is alright out there Thranduil, and I'm very sorry to hear about what happend to your wife. I would just like to say though...thank you for trusting me enough to tell me, I know this can't have been easy for you to say" "Thank you, your kind to say this" Thranduil had the most majestic voice that had such depth and command, and yet there was vulnerability there. You didn't hear that vulnerability with anyone else in the palace...just you. "It's late, I think you should get some rest. It's going to be a long day of travel for you if your going to Bree" "Yes your right, Thunder fell alseep ages ago, he'll be fine in the morning. I hope you sleep well Thranduil" "You too Y/N" Your just heading away from him, when you stop, think, then turn to him and say "Thranduil?" "Yes?" "Why don't you make me call you "king?" Or "your majesty" Like the others do in the palace?" He smiles and says "Many reasons, but my favourite.....I like hearing my name from those perfect lips of yours. It's like music" You had never blushed more than you had at that very moment, that was like poetry! You couldn't even speak, so you just give him a smile back, and head off upstairs to your room, still feeling the warmth in your cheeks as you go to sleep.

The next morning, you were dressed and ready to go back to Bree. Thranduil and you shared a breakfast as Thunder was being fed and readied for the trip, and once you had finished, you both headed down to the stables where there were 10 other elves waiting on horse back for you both. Thunder was rearing to go, and you gave him a cuddle before climbing onto his back. "Onwards" Thranduil declared, and into the forest you all went. According to him, the path they would take would only be a 20 minute walk to the exit of the forest, that was a relief to you. But there was something that was about to happen that you weren't expecting, something that would frighten you. You and the others were half way through the forest, when all the shadows and shapes of the forest were playing with your eyes. Your heart rate was creeping up at an alarming pace, sweat was forming on your brow, and your body and hands started to uncontrollably shake. Thunder could sence this about you, and stopped, allowing the others to see you were in distress. Thranduil stopped to see you looking as white as snow, shaking and struggling to breath properly, this instantly made him cause everyone to halt, and he was off his stag and by Thunders side within seconds. He was holding your hand, trying desperately to get your attention, but you were locked in this zone of panic, white noise and ringing filled your ears, but soon Thranduils voice was managing to break that.

"Y/N! Y/N take my hand! Let me help you down" You manage to hold his hand and he carefully takes you into his arms and helps you off of Thunder. "Keep watch all of you!" He demands as he helps you sit on a nearby tree root, your still shaking, and your body is full of adrenaline, you couldn't stop it. "Y/N! Look at me ok? Just look at my eyes" Finaly able to meet his gaze, his piercing blue and white gaze, his calm and steady words slowly eased you.

He knew you needed something to ground you, to make you feel safe, so he drapes his beautiful golden cloak around your back and shoulders. It was so warm, and it smelled like him, like the earth after a rainstorm. "Let's take a deep breath in......and out, just like that. Let's keep doing that ok? In.....and out" He continues to do this with you for what felt like hours, even though it was more like minutes, he never leaves your side or let's go of your hand. It takes you a little while longer for the shaking to stop, the ringing to go and your body to finaly calm down again. You were left with this achey pain, like the aches you get from the flu, you knew this was because of your body going into over drive. But Thranduil refused to leave until you were back to normal again, no matter how long it took. He also made sure you had something to drink, that was very kind of him. "Alright, your pulse is back to normal now, how are you feeling?" "Better than I was. I'm sorry about that. I was just having flashbacks of the spider attack, and-"

"There is no need to apologise, it was a terrible thing to experience. Of course it's not going to be easy for you, your safe now" You took a deep breath and gave him a smile, he could see you were feeling better, but he still kept a keen eye on you. He helped you back onto Thunder, and you all carried on to the exit. He would stay close by with his stag to make sure you were ok, he was so protective. When you all finaly got to the edge of the forest, and walk under the same archway you entered before, it was the end of your time with Thranduil. You climbed off Thunder and Thranduil climbed off his stag, the rest of the elves stayed close to the entrance as you both took a moment to talk. "Are you sure your going to be alright travelling the rest of the way on your own?" "Yes I'm sure, I've made this journey hundreds of times" "I'm guessing it would be nice if you had a place of your own instead of sleeping rough for the rest of your days?" "Yes it would be nice, but like I've said before, it's something I'll just have to work for. It was....wonderful getting to know you Thranduil, and I would love to visit you again" "I would very much like that too.....meeting you....has changed me....in the best way. Your kind soul, your beauty....it's like being blessed with a fallen star. Pure, and unique....and the days I have spent with you have been a blessing"

And once again, he has made your heart skip, your cheeks blush, and has made beautiful poetry with just a simple sentence. "Thranduil....that's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for me" "There is nothing I want in return Y/N, your happiness and safety is more than I could ask for" You had no words, no idea how to show him how much you care about him. So instead, you lean up, rest your hand on his chest and press a kiss to his cheek. You wanted desperately to kiss his lips instead, but all of his soldiers were there. This time, it was the handsome king who was blushing. "When I'm close by, I'll come and see you again Thranduil" "And I will be waiting for you" One last smile and a wave was given as you climb back onto Thunder, and you gallop off in the direction of Bree. Thunder was very well fed and cared for by the elves, and being so, he was so much faster. He managed to ride into Bree within half the time of the last time you traveled, it was the late afternoon by the time you arrived back in Bree. Your priority now was to find the man who sent you to Mirkwood in the first place, and to find out if his son made it back too. It took about 10 minutes for you to walk through Bree, and see that man in a front garden, planting some vegetables. "Good day sir" "Oh! Oh it's you!" This man shouted in happiness as he ran to you and shook your hand. "Y/N I am so thankful you made it out of that dreadful place! My son told me what happened, and how he wasn't sure you made it or not" "So he got back in one piece then?" "Oh yes he did, with his tale between his legs!"

This just made you chuckle, and you can see behind the house, the same man who you saved, raking up cut grass. "He's serving his punishment, but all is forgiven from our falling out. May I ask, how did you manage to defeat those spiders" "Well I didn't really defeat them, I managed to kill 1, wound the other and the biggest one nearly killed me. But it was the woodland elves who saved me, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be hear right now" "The woodland elves of Mirkwood? I've heard stories, but none from anyone who have actualy met them. They saved you?" "They did, and they are very nice people....it was a pleasure to meet them" "That's lovely to hear, and it's good to know your safe. Now! Let me pull these little beauties out" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bag of gems. "Oh no that's alright, that's too much" "You are not leaving hear without adequate payment young lady" "What about just half the bag? A full bag seems too much" You....risked your life to save my child. I would give everything in my possession to have him home. You have done us a great honour, and you deserve every last one of these"

He puts the bag in your hand and holds it there for you, determined you keep them. "Your very kind" "The world needs more people like you, thank you for everything that you've done" He leaves to go back to his gardening, and you smile as you walk back to Thunder. "Looks like a nice cosy night in the stables for you old friend" you say giving him a pat on his side. You start to lead him through Bree, when a tall looking figure walks up to you, looking very pleased. "Good day Y/N" "Ummm? Hi? Have we met?" "Oh no we haven't yet, my apologies. My name is Fendin, it's a pleasure to meet you" "So? Can I help you with something?" "Oh yes indeed, if you'd like to follow me, I've been asked to show you something" He started walking in the opposite direction, you had no idea if this was a trap or someone trying to sell you something, but you could handle yourself against one....was he an elf? Still keeping a distance, you follow him and he leads you to this magnificent and beautiful house just towards the end of the street. It has it's own stables filled with everything you could need for a horse, and you could see through the windows of the house, luxury seating areas, a big comfortable bedroom, bathing room, living room and kitchenette.

"Ok, Fendin. I'm confused, why have you shown me this house?" "Because this is your house" Huh?! "No no no, you definitely have the wrong person. I've never owned a house in my lifetime. The longest I've stayed inside a building was over night in a tavern. I haven't the coin to own a house" "He said you may act this way" "He? Who's he?" Fendin reached into his pocket and pulled out a sealed letter, he handed it to you before he started showing Thunder some attention. Wanting to know what was going on, you open the letter, and it read:

My dearest Y/N

I have sent my friend Fendin to show you around your new home. I have much coin and this home is my gift to you, you deserve a place to live, not just survive. I knew he would get the house ready before you would arive, and I hope he gives you the full tour. Your the most extraordinary woman I have ever known, and everything I told you before you left was the truth from the very depths of my heart. There is also a stable for Thunder to have a home too, he deserves it. I look forward to seeing you again....and maybe next time you can aim those beautiful lips of yours on another target? Enjoy your new home.

Thranduil

Thranduil bought you a house! He bought you and Thunder a house!....a home... "So, may I show you around the inside of the property Y/N? I would like to see if the colour scheme is to your liking" "Fenrin, no matter the colour, I am more than happy to see my new home" He smiled with glee as you let Thunder roam around his new and spacious stable, and Fenrin enters the house with you flowing. But just before you enter, you hover outside the door, holding the letter from Thranduil and looking up at the house. Thranduil had bought you a house, a place to call your own. For so long you have been looking for a home.....but maybe, just maybe.....a home isn't necessarily a house....sometimes a home....has a heartbeat....

[im-out-of-it]

my favorite out of TID is clockwork prince mainly because we get a lot of Jem and Gabriel and Gideon are here to grace us with their presence

but one thing I hate about that series is the whole love triangle with Will Tessa Jem

MY MAN JEM DESERVED BETTER THAN THAT

Jem is literally the most sweetest character who deserved nothing but all the good things in life. and the fact that basically the whole time Jem and Tessa are together, she’s like omg Will kisses like this and Will does this

I think their initial friendship and when they start to get together is lovely but once she finds out Will is interested in her, all of Tessa’s thoughts are on Will

SHUT UP YOU ARE DATING A NATIONAL TREASURE

I’m sorry but I have chronic illnesses and if someone dated me so I could have this little happiness before I died, I would be hella mad. like does anyone else find that shit so weird and distasteful???? oh Jem can have Tessa for now because he’s going to die anyways

AND WILL ACTS LIKE ITS SOME FUCKING FAVOR

yeah I’m sure Jem would’ve been pleased to know how you instantly got with his fiancé once you both found out your bestie died. and Jem is too much of a good person to truly be mad about it

and how sad is it that he basically has to be around all that shit as a silent brother and watch as Will and Tessa have a family and he has to help their children and grandchildren. I’m sorry but I’m too fucking petty to just stand by and not be enraged. I’m sure Jem is happy in a way for them but that shit would hurt like a motherfucker. Jem is the only good thing about Will and Tessa

JEM IS TOO GOOD FOR WILL AND TESSA

JEM DESERVED BETTER

[wicked441]

A Life in the Shadows

A Shadowhunter FanFic 9 & 10

Part 9:

The sun was just beginning to set, bleeding rose-gold light through the infirmary windows. The fading warmth painted the room in soft hues that couldn’t quite erase the tension. Emma sat at the foot of the bed, hands loosely clasped, watching Jem huddled at the head, back pressed to the headboard like she might disappear into it.

“Here,” Emma said gently, holding out a glass of steaming, cloudy liquid. “Drink this.”

Jem took it with hesitation, sniffing the surface. Her brow wrinkled. “What is it?”

“Tisanes. It’s kind of like a potion—Clary taught me how to make it the last time I visited New York. She said it helps when you’re too shaken to eat. It fills you up and calms you down.”

Jem sipped it slowly, her wary eyes never leaving Emma’s. After a few gulps, something in her shoulders relaxed. She drank the rest in one go.

Emma smiled. “Better?”

Jem nodded, licking a drop from her bottom lip. “Can I have more?”

“In a bit,” Emma said, taking the empty glass and setting it on the bedside table. “Let’s not shock your system all at once.”

There was a quiet moment, not quite peaceful, but still. Jem rubbed her hands against the fabric of the blanket like she wasn’t sure whether she was allowed to feel comfort.

Emma took a slow breath, then said, “Jem, there’s something I need to tell you. Some people are coming to the Institute to meet you. They’re good people. We trust them.”

Jem straightened her posture. “It is that Mag.. Mago guy.”

Emma laughed softly. “Magnus. Yes. He’s a warlock. A good one. And he’s bringing some Shadowhunters with him. Alec, Clary, and Jace.” She paused, the admiration obvious in her tone. “They’re the best we’ve got.”

Jem narrowed her eyes. “Emma, I’m not sure.. I can’t remember anything.”

“Well the Clave just wants to make sure of that.” 

Emma expected to have to explain who the Clave were, but Jem perked up at the sound of the name. She knew who they were. “I won’t talk to the Clave.” Jem sprung to her feet with new found strength. “I won’t. You can’t trust them.” Her voice was edgy, steely and scared.

“You know the Clave?” Emma questioned. 

“I know enough,” Jem hissed. Her voice shook with a memory. “I know they’ll kill me if they find me. Did you tell them I was here?”

“Jem.. I..” Emma stood slowly, her hands raised in a calming manor. “No. I didn’t tell them. Julian didn’t either. We were going to because it’s protocol, but the clave already knew about you.”

Jem shook her head and started to pace with her arms wrapped around her stomach. “I have to leave, Emma. I need to get out of here.” Jem tried to push past Emma, who caught her around the waist. Emma was able to pick her up like one of the Blackthorn kids. “I can’t stay here!”

“Where are you gonna go, Jem? You have nowhere to go.” Jem stopped trying to fight. Her face went pale, eyes glassy with something dark.

You have nowhere to go. Nowhere to run and no one who cares about you. I am the only one who will keep you safe. It was Father’s voice in her head. 

“You said you would keep me safe.” Jem whispered.

“And I will.” Emma said firmly. “I promise on my marks, on the angle. It is my sworn duty.”

“But you don’t understand!” Jem tried to raise her voice again, but it was a mixture of whispers and weeps. “There is a darkness in me I can’t explain. Powers I don’t know how to stop!”

“Jem, remember what I told you. You have the entire Nephilim race on your side, okay?” Jem nodded. “Jace, Alec, and Clary are nephilim.”

“Not Magnus. He’s a warlock.”

“Magnus is married to Alec and has nephilim children. He’s on our side.”

“But the clave…” Jem whispered. 

Emma cut her off by gently brushing an unruly strand of hair behind Jem’s ear. “We work with them, yes, but I’ve seen these guys break more rules than I can count. Especially when the Clave is wrong.” 

Jem settled, but was still uneasy. She looked down at the palms of her hands before wiping them on the blanket. “Do I have to?” Her breathing was uneven. Not panicked, just scared.

“Not until you’re ready.” Emma placed a hand on Jem’s shoulder. “But you might find it helpful to talk to Clary. She was thrown into this world too. Just like you. She gets it.”

The ground beneath them trembled. A low rumble rolled through the walls, making the infirmary windows rattle. The curtains danced with the motion, shedding flecks of dust.

Emma looked up. “That’ll be the portal. I assume that's them arriving early.”

She turned to Jem and offered her hand. “Come on. Let’s get you dressed. You don’t have to say a word if you don’t want to. But you should see who we’re trusting.”

Jem hesitated. But after a long beat, she took Emma’s hand.

Part 10:

Emma had hoped some of her old clothes might fit Jem, but in the end, they’d raided Dru’s closet. Jem was smaller and slighter than Emma had realized—now swallowed in loose jeans and a plain black tank top. Dru hadn’t protested much, but her silence had said everything. Emma made a mental note to buy her sister something nice.

As they walked down the hallway, Jem’s eyes flicked around, wide with quiet awe. The Institute’s corridors were lined with ancient portraits and gleaming weapons, all framed by dark, gothic architecture. She didn’t seem afraid—just alert, as if cataloging exits and measuring risks.

They stopped in front of the library’s arched double doors. “Here we are,” Emma said gently. “Are you ready?”

Jem stared at the doors like they might devour her. “I can’t…”

But before she could finish, Emma pushed them open. The hinges creaked. Jem flinched.

Emma suspected she’d have said no. No, I’m not ready to face strangers who serve the Clave. But she’d started to trust Emma—just barely.

The library glowed with warm lamplight and the low hum of conversation. Julian looked up first. “Jem, Emma. Come in, have a seat.”

Emma stepped forward, but paused when she noticed Jem hadn’t moved. She lingered in the doorway, arms folded tight around herself.

Emma turned, giving her a reassuring nod. “It’s okay. Let me introduce you.” Jem’s feet felt like lead in cement shoes, but she followed.

Across the room, Julian, Jace, and Alec stood near a towering bookshelf that scraped the ceiling. Jace leaned against it like he owned the place—which, knowing Jace, he probably felt like he did. Alec stood with arms crossed, his gaze sharp and unreadable. Julian murmured something, but all three fell silent as Jem passed.

A circle of couches surrounded a low table scattered with books and coffee mugs. Magnus lounged cross-legged in an armchair; Clary sat across from him. Emma perched on the armrest beside where Jem reluctantly lowered herself. She looked like she wished she could disappear.

Emma went on to introduce everyone and let Clary start the questioning. Clary offered a kind smile. “Let’s start simple. Do you remember where you were living before you came here?”

Jem’s eyes darted to Emma, pleading. Do I have to say it? Am I safe? 

Emma gave a slow nod. You’re safe.

“I don’t know where it was,” Jem whispered. “A big house. I… I lived in the basement. I wasn’t allowed upstairs without permission. The doors were always locked. If I tried to leave without permission, he’d—” She paused. “Father would chain me to the wall.”

A stunned silence fell over the group, even Magnus’s smirk vanished. "Who is 'Father'?" He asked.

“Father?” Jem shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t even remember his face.” Everyone watched her like they expected her to do a circus trick, but no one seemed amused. “But he had marks. Runes. That’s what Emma called them.”

“You said he kept his, but yours always faded?” Clary asked. "Emma filed us in a little." Jem nodded and shrank further into the couch. After a beat too long and glances shared amongst everyone, Clary continued. “Okay. Let’s talk about the night Emma and Julian found you. Why were you behind the courthouse? Why did you run from them?”

Jem twisted her fingers, knuckles white. “I was on a task. For Father. Get the pack. Come back. Don’t be seen. Don’t stray. Those are the rules. But Emma and Julian—they saw me. I panicked.”

“Why did your father need those Downworlder tokens?” Alec asked, stepping forward. His voice was calm, but firm. “Do you know how many Downworlders had to die for—”

“Alexander,” Magnus cut in, raising two fingers. “Let her speak.”

“I didn’t know what I was taking,” Jem said, eyes welling up with tears. “Not until that night. Someone in a hood always handed me the bag. I wasn’t allowed to look inside.”

Magnus raised a brow. “Sounds like the world’s worst scavenger hunt.”

“The pack wasn’t with you when we found you,” Julian said, approaching. “What happened to it?”

Jem’s breath hitched. Flashes of memory—shouts, pain, abandonment. “He.. He came through a portal. Father did. He took the pack and closed the portal before I could follow. He left me there. I think… I think demons attacked me. I thought Julian and Emma attacked me, then the memory came back.” Her voice trembled. “He told me, ‘You can’t escape what’s coming for you.’ Then everything went dark. I thought me meant I couldn't escape the Shadowhunters.” Jem spat out that last work like is was an insult. 

“Sounds like he sent them,” Jace muttered. Jem shuddered with the sudden voice in her head, Father's. I am the only person who can keep you safe. Had that been a lie, too?

“Jem,” Emma said gently, “tell them about your powers.”

Jem stiffened. Magnus straightened. The others leaned in. “I… I don’t want to—”

“You said they’re out of your control,” Emma pushed her, hoping she wasn't pushing too much. “What did you mean?”

Jem took a deep breath. “I know I have them,” she murmured. “But Father said using them was a sin. A sin against the Angel.”

“How do you know you have them?” Magnus asked.

Jem hesitated, then lifted her wrist, tracing a faint scar. “He said I was too slow and marked me here. I don’t know how, but… fire came out of my hands. I didn’t mean to. I was scared, it burned." Jem paused as she remembers. "Father slapped me. Said I was evil. Demented.” Her voice cracked. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” A single tear fell down her cheek. Suddenly, she bolted upright, panic in her eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you!” She backed into an end table, making it rattle. 

Alec instinctively stepped forward, but caught himself. Jace shot him a glance—easy.

“No one thinks you will,” Clary said calmly. “It’s okay, Jem.”

Magnus stood and approached slowly, hand extended—not to grab, just to offer. “I believe you,” he said softly. “You know, you have the same name as one of my oldest friends. He was brave and selfless. I think you’ve got some of that in you.” Jem blinked, startled. Something in his tone cut through the panic, and she let him guide her back to the couch. “May I touch your temple?” he asked.

She looked around, then nodded. The moment his fingers brushed her skin, Jem jolted. Her head snapped back, eyes rolling white. Emma jumped up, but Magnus didn’t let go.

Jem gasped, clutching her chest. “By the Angel! What the fuck was that?!”

“Jem!” Julian hissed.

Magnus blinked, clearly impressed. “Well. That was colorful.” He turned serious. “But, you’ve got a mental block the size of Idris in there. Someone very powerful put it in place. It’s not just hiding your memories, it's suppressing your powers.”

“Can you remove it?” Alec asked.

Magnus shook his head. “No. I’ve never seen anything like it. It's much stronger than any block I've created.” Magnus threw a quick glance at Clary.

Jace folded his arms. “So what now?”

Magnus looked around. “Now? We wait. We observe. We listen and we give her time.” He looked at Jem and smiled. “And maybe a cookie. She’s had a hell of a day.”

Jem let out a soft, startled laugh—barely a sound, but it was something.

Emma smiled. It wasn’t much. But it was a beginning.

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 5x07 Let He Who Is Without Sin thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!) [14 Sept ‘23]

Odo and Sisko ribbing Jadzia about her sex life XD

It's so cute that Worf still calls her "Commander" around others.

Hmmm, I was firmly against Worf last time - and I still don't like his whole thing against Boday - but also Jadzia is pretty disrespectful to what he wants, immediately telling people after Worf says it's a private matter.

"Have you ever noticed all the stars look the same?" I love Leeta so much, I can't wait to see more of her when she and Rom pick up.

"What's jamaharon?" "I'll show you later." XD that look!

Their "casual" outfits! Oh, 90s fashion crimes... I miss you

"Aren't you uncomfortable in your uniform?" I mean uniforms and not having to decide what to wear are The Best. (And also I am very much on the autistic Worf headcanon and can imagine uniform gives him a sense of comfort in a very uncomfortable environment.)

Worf! That was Very Romantic! I did not expect you to compare Jadzia to a nebula, ngl.

As much as I think Jadzia should be allowed to reconnect with a friend without Worf's jealousy, she's also not very considerate of his feelings. Blagh.

I actually kind of like this episode more now that I'm not just anti-Worf? I do wish Jadzia was allowed to just be the single, flirtatious woman - or polyamorous, flirtatious woman - she was meant to be, though.

Worf's scowl upon finding his "bathing suit" is Very Justified.

Worf's dumbfoundment at Leeta not being with Dr Bashir is hilarious. I do still like messing with his sense of what is "right" and "wrong".

Ugh, this man wants to paint himself as a "victim", doesn't he... "I can only imagine what you must think of me." Yeah, no, it's not that people hate you because you know some secret "truth" they don't want to hear, but because you're an awful, paternalistic, condescending killjoy.

"I may be wrong, but didn't he just insult us?" I love Julian.

Boy, do I want Jadzia or Julian to stand up and speak about their experiences with the Klingons or Dominion that he couldn't begin to understand.

"You two dishonour each other with your actions!" "You mean... We didn't tell you why we came here." Actually hilarious, Julian, how?

"I hope we proved our point." You wouldn't have if Worf hadn't stopped Jadzia attacking back, you'd be on the ground.

"I did not say you were doing anything wrong. It's just that some of your behaviour-" Aghhhh, I actually hate understanding Worf because this speech is awful but also it's coming out wrong. What he *wants* to say is he's feeling hurt by her disregard for his feelings but he can't put it like that.

And what he actually says IS awful - "At times, your are too impulsive. You act without thinking. You have no self-control." - because HE'S just as impulsive as her, and in ways that have actually hurt him and Starfleet - look back to his trial!! His fight with the Jem-Hadar when working together on the Defiant! He cannot stay himself when it is his Klingon pride at stake.

And Jadzia is rightfully hurt by these words, and how Worf has generally been acting, because if he meant it the way it sounds it would really not be great of him! I hated him the last timei watched this, and I really wasn't expecting that to change!

"Jadzia you are my par'machai... and everything you do reflects on me." That was not how that sentence was supposed to end 😅

I hate it but I'm actually liking this episode quite a bit - it's the classic miscommunication trope, but genuinely not from lack of trying on Worf's part, simply from lack of ability.

Leeta's so vicious in smashing the dish!

Quark is so hopeful with Leeta's revelation that he might see some of those "fireworks" he was taking about... xD

Hmm, not so sure even the Bajoran ceremony quite makes one ready for that sort of honesty, quite so soon, Leeta...

Worf calling her "Dax" as he spots her with Arandis. Seeing her as the symbiont and Curzon, not Jadzia.

Ugh, "you're too much work". Why did you have to say that? Though I guess if the situation was reversed and it was Jadzia saying it, I'd just take it as good natured teasing...

"What I want is Worf." "Why?!" "Because he has the courage of a beserker cat and he has the heart of a poet." "And the brain of a pigheaded idiot." "Yeah, sometimes." She says that last sometimes so fondly though... maybe if she loves him that bad she does jut need to put more effort in... (Also loving 'beserker cat' rather than simply 'beserker' or 'beserker warrior' XD)

"Maybe we have forgotten how to deal with adversity." Maybe the point of having a civilization where adversity is rare is making the most of happiness? And maybe those who do face adversity - like the Starfleet staff - deserve a fucking vacation? Most people on Risa are on holiday - they have jobs and other life stresses, even in automated space communism utopia. I think Fullerton is probably the one who needs a little experience of *true* adversity. -_-

Last time Worf's story made me go "booo, a little not of tragedy doesn't mean you're allowed to be a massive misogynist." But actually, Jadzia is right, it does explain a lot. And I do give most of the other characters some slack in the misogyny area given they were written in the 90s...

"Or at least get out of this room." "... Very well." Fullerton actually sounds disappointed to be asked to leave the room that's about to collapse. Oh god, he wants to be a martyr, doesn't he? 🙃

"I will do as I please." *throws him across the room* FRICKING IMPULSE RESTRAINT WHAT, WORF?

"I am on holiday." I'm glad that amused you, Jadzia, but what?!

"I better go find Bashir. He brought a horga'hn down to breakfast and that's the last I saw of him." Quark looking out for Julian is not something I realised was a thing? But that definitely sounded a little like concern. (Unless it's a hope he can join in, I guess... 😅) (Was not expecting to get on the Quark/Julian train either but if there was a time when it was going to happen...)

Huh, the worst thing this time was actually not Worf, but Julian and Quark objectifying Jadzia... and at least on Julian's part, I think it was in jest, given I don't think she was being her best self at that time?

Alright, well - for all that people hate that episode, which had included me… I enjoyed that, genuinely! Surprises never cease...

[gogandmagog]

Thinking of the general feeling towards Shirley Blythe, and how it is basically one of injustice or a perceived lack of familial closeness (with Anne, especially), as demonstrated in his neglected narrative and etc, but… I find that I can just never really agree with that. Besides fully believing that Shirley and his brothers all are meant to illustrate/embody different types of servicemen’s attitudes towards war (Jem leaves as the optimistic hero, Walter as a white flame of sacrifice, and Shirley… as rep of the silent [which we are meant to feel] duty of the masses, that are cared about by more than just their mothers [see: Susan]), there’s also this passage in Rilla of Ingleside where the text aligns Anne’s reluctance to let him go to that of Benjamin from the Bible:

The age-old cry—"Joseph is not and Simeon is not; and ye will take Benjamin away."

Understanding the obvious and driving implication of much being asked for and taken from mothers by War, Benjamin was a known favourite son (second to Joseph ofc, but the Biblical text implies that high favour falling on Benjamin too). For anyone unfamiliar, really briefly, Benjamin was the brother of Joseph, and the last son of Jacob and his much beloved wife Rachel (there were 13 children and 2 wives in this family btw). Rachel had a difficult labour, and died shortly after bringing Benjamin into the world. Similarly, Anne nearly died bringing Shirley, her own last son, into the world. For me, I guess I just feel this cannot be a coincidental, especially since LMM, a lifelong Christian and a Ministers wife, surely knew this story well, and also wasn’t exactly one to throw in a reference to scripture without first looking both ways. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[partyof4game]

Hellooo~~ what would the ro's reaction be to the 'there was only one bed' trope? I can't believe i forgot about this! It's one of my favorite tropes, do you have any tropes you like seeing?

Ooohh, a classic! When it comes to romance I'm pretty open about tropes, but I do have a soft spot for jealous/protective partner, childhood friend routes in games (they SUCKER ME IN SO BAD, the guilt I carry), fated mates, and forced proximity/marriage of convenience.

I think the only romance tropes that really turn me off are miscommunication and "I'm too dangerous to love."

why do u think that would stop anyone horny enough, bruh

There's only one bed!

Raena gets nervous and starts babbling until she finds her courage. "Do we pretend it's like when we had to share as kids? Do we need a pillow between us? I mean, we could snuggle, right? I want to, but if you don't -- let's snuggle!"

Jem immediately suggests that he should sleep on the floor, his people pleasing tuned to the maximum. If mc is a monster he totally would sleep on the floor on his sleeping roll. But if mc is an angel they can convince him to share the bed. He likes to be the little spoon. 🥺

Vana would wait to see what mc says first. She's not against it, but she'd hate to seem okay with it first. Once in bed she'd lay there stiffly until mc coaxes her into a comfortable position. She's the type to throw her leg over someone after falling asleep, pulling them as close as possible.

Linzel would just stroll over to the bed and sprawl out on it before crooking a finger to the mc with a come-hither glint in his eyes. "I promise I don't bite," he says, "unless you want me to..."

Maymie goes straight to the bed and starts checking the sheets. "This is great. We definitely saved some gold -- maybe we should do this every time. By the way, do you want to sleep next to the wall or not? I don't care either way." If mc is embarrassed she'd smirk and coax them into the bed and dramatically tuck them in and kiss them on the forehead. "Sleep tight, you little baby," she'd tease before snuggling right up to them.

Aslo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sweets would offer to find a different inn if mc looked even mildly uncomfortable. "I can sleep anywhere, darling, as long as I have a crowd and my gittern. Just say the word." If sharing the bed, Sweets would make sure mc is comfortable before sliding in behind them and snuggling up, their nose pressed against the back of mc's neck and maybe sneak a cheeky kiss there, too. 🥰

[kujo1597]

I’m pretty darn excited to jump into the Starbright episodes. These set the tone for the rest of the series. The songs are also generally better after this point in the show. Not that they were bad before. But I just like them more.

Not much to say leading into the recap today.

Huh. I didn’t expect a recap to start this episode off. I forgot they did this. It makes sense that they would. The first five episodes are summed up here.

We start the episode proper with Jerrica throwing a party at Starlight Mansion. And we see one of the bigger redesigns. I read that this was done to get the Jerrica on the show to look more like her doll and that makes complete sense. But I also like how this works as Jerrica changing her hair into a more mature style now that she’s taking on so many more adult responsibilities. She’s a businesswoman now and likely wants to be taken more seriously as one. Her wardrobe also shifts post-syndication into a more mature selection.

Howard asks Jerrica where Jem is because this is Jem’s party. Jerrica says that she’ll get Jem and runs off to quickly change into her alter-ego. And this is when Kimber catches up to her. She also got a slight redesign but the main thing is swapping eye colours with Jerrica. Now we have Kimber with those dark blue eyes I love so much. I got sidetracked. The countess wants Jem and The Holograms. She’s come to the party with a bunch of new outfits for them.

A quick transition later and they’re modelling their new clothes. Rio says that Jem is so hot she makes the cameras sizzle. This gets a giggle out of Jem and she says that Rio’s in the movie too. Then Mrs. Bailey asks Kimber where Jerrica is. Kimber has no answer but Jem says she’ll go find Jerrica. And runs off to change back.

Mrs. Bailey takes Jerrica into the living room and we see Be Nee sitting like, two feet away from the screen. Mrs. Bailey says that she’s worried about Ba Nee’s eyesight and Jerrica agrees there there is a reason to be concerned. She tells Mrs. Bailey to call an ophthalmologist. Side note, this scene how I learned that word. And right after that Anthony walks up and asks Jerrica if she knows where Jem is. And Shana just kinda looks like, “Oh crap.” which amuses me.

Well, Jerrica runs off again but this time goes to check up on Synergy to make sure she’s not being pushed too hard with all this changing back and forth. I like how Jerrica affectionately pats Synergy’s monitor.

Anthony wanted to introduce Jem to a videographer named Vivien Montgomery. She tells Jem to call her Video because everybody does. She wants to make a documentary about Jem’s movie and naturally Jem agrees.

Now we get Lela calling out for Jerrica. And Jerrica has a moment where she forgets which identity she’s wearing and runs up to Lela to help. And then after seeing herself as Jem in the mirror kind of awkwardly walks off to change.

Lela needed help in the kitchen, turns out the older Starlight girls are doing the catering. Well, everybody’s busy and they’ve run out of ice. Jerrica tells Lela to have Becky order more. Rio catches up to Jerrica and pulls her away from the party.

He’s not too happy that Jerrica is doing so much work for Jem. He sits Jerrica down and sternly tells her that she needs to rest. And he’s right! A party as big as this shouldn’t be run by just Jerrica and a handful of her foster daughters.

Jerrica, bless her, says to Rio, “Jem looks pretty good, doesn’t she?” And Rio agrees with a very dreamy expression and tone. He says that Jem makes the air sizzle like a bright and dazzling dream. But follows that up with a negative, “IF you can find her.” And then the sweet talker says, “You know what I love about you Jerrica? You’re so responsible, and dependable, and comfortable to be with.” Which makes Jerrica feel like an old pair of shoes.

Good job Rio.

The couple kiss and we get our first music video of the episode.

I just needed to embed the master tape version. It’s really good. Like Deception this is a song about Jerrica feeling conflicted about the love triangle. But this time she’s not sure if Rio is actually in love with her, or if he’s more in love with Jem. He’s made it very clear he’s attracted to Jem. And this does bother Jerrica.

So much so that the end of the kiss is a little awkward, Jerrica immediately excuses herself so she can do more work at the party.

We cut to Pizzazz spying on the party from the balcony of her own mansion. Then we learn that she never did tell Stormer and Roxy that she’s rich. Pizzazz says, “Who cares about money?” and we get this great moment.

Stormer and Roxy exchange a look and reply with, “We do.” It’s wonderful.

Pizzazz walks into the house and says her motivations to become a rock star. She wants her name spoken with awe, she wants people to throw themselves at her feet, she wants attention. Roxy then says that if she has the kind of money that Pizzazz does then she’d just make her own dang movie. And this gives Pizzazz an idea.

We cut to Pizzazz in her father’s office. His name is Harvey Gabor by the way. She sits on his desk and says that her dad promised her anything for her birthday. And I never thought much of this line before I started writing time skip stuff and Jerrica and Pizzazz as a couple. But this scene takes place six months after Jerrica’s birthday, June 1st, which would mean that Pizzazz’s birthday is very likely in late November or early to mid December. December has a couple birth flowers, every month does, you know what one of them is? Narcissus. And I really like that. (Daffodils are a part of this plant genus which amuses me.) That was such a major tangent I’m sorry.

Let’s get back to the plot. Pizzazz asks her dad for a movie studio and Harvey is shocked by this. He doesn’t immediately agree to buy Pizzazz a movie studio and she throws a bit of a fit. Eventually Harvey gives in and buys whatever studio Pizzazz wants.

I’m sure you know where this is going.

Everybody arrives at the movie studio and Howard Sands runs up to the car in a panic. The studio had just been bought and he’s worried about the production. The new owner wants to see Jem and The Holograms in his office right away.

Jem is as scatterbrained as I am right now and says that she thought Eric was in jail. He gives the same answer he gave Jerrica.

Nobody’s happy about this situation but they’re under contract. We cut to commercial and after we return Howard says to Jem that he’ll understand if she quits.

That would be such bad publicity. But I suppose Howard isn’t in charge of marketing.

Well, publicity isn’t even on Jem’s mind. She’s just refusing to stand down because she refuses to let Eric bully her out of her own movie. And her sisters are right behind her in this decision to stay onboard.

Well, time to record the movie. Anthony is angry because he’s the director and Eric changed the script without consulting him.

Eric is apparently not a morning person and Jem pokes fun at that fact.

On their way to hair and makeup Kimber asks a very important question, what would happen when somebody tries to do Jem’s makeup? Jem assures Kimber that she’ll think of something.

But before they can get in the makeup room the Misfits barge in front of them. And I must know how old Roxy thinks Jem is because she says, “Beauty before age.” While getting her makeup done Pizzazz trashes Jem to her makeup person. Then the Misfits finish up and Jem and The Holograms enter.

So what is Jem’s brilliant idea to avoid having her makeup done? Well, just tell the makeup artist that she has to do her own makeup. And because Pizzazz was just trashing Jem the makeup artist whispers to her coworker that Pizzazz was right about Jem being a snob.

Before filming starts Pizzazz makes this grand announcement that her father owns the studio and she asks for a chair.

Which is taken out from right under Kimber. She’s caught by a man named Jeff Wright, he introduces himself but before Kimber could even look at him an apparently handsome guy passes by. A movie star named Nick Mann and Kimber is smitten.

Nick walks up to Jem as she’s going over the script with Anthony and introduces himself. Pizzazz is jealous and points out that she’s also Nick’s costar. But Nick doesn’t care, be pulls Jem away to go over a love scene with her and Kimber catches up to them.

She starts batting her eyelashes as Nick and he says, “Look, there’s a quiet corner over there” and drags Jem off.

Jeff is more than happy to point out that he was right about Kimber not standing a chance with Nick. And she’s not having any of it.

Nick is flirting with Jem and saying that he always falls in love with his leading lady. And Jem is so completely disinterested in him she’s just reading the script. It’s hilarious. “And they always fall in love with you, I suppose.”

Pizzazz is trying to stir the pot by calling Jem fickle to Rio. But like, Rio should be able to see that Jem gives no fucks about Nick. This is the body language of a woman who has less than zero interest in someone.

Let’s just leave this mess for a minute and check out who’s entering the studio.

It’s a new character, one with wild hair and clothes. She introduces herself at the gate as Miss Montgomery. So she’s let in.

Not even two seconds later Video drives up and she’s denied her pass because a Miss Montgomery had just come in. Video knows exactly who that other Montgomery is. Her cousin Clash.

And Clash is the biggest Misfits fangirl. She runs up to them and starts gushing. Pizzazz is loving this. But Video is not. She warns Jem that her cousin had snuck into the studio. And we learn how Clash got her name. She bangs her wrist cymbals together right behind Jem’s head.

And that hurts like hell. Anthony is pissed and tells Clash to get off the set. But Pizzazz says that Clash can stay because she’s her friend. So Anthony tells them that can both leave. But Eric yells at Anthony and basically drives him to quit.

Which he does. And I really don’t blame him.

The day’s over and Mrs. Bailey tells Jerrica when Ba Nee’s eye appointment is. Then we see the Holograms all in a bedroom looking pretty miserable. Shana says that things can’t get any worse, and Jerrica optimistically says that it just means that things can only get better.

Yeah it did not work.

Music video time! I like this one. It’s atypical for this band. It’s all Rio being jealous of Nick Mann as he’s doing a scene with Jem. It’s a good tune.

The video ends with Rio punching Nick right in his smug face. Nick can’t take a punch very well. Jem is shocked that Rio would punch a guy for a doing a scene with her. And let me tell you, this is only the beginning of Rio’s jealousy issues. Pizzazz further fans the flames by whispering in Rio’s ear that if he wants to stay in the film then he’d better be very nice to her. Jem storms off.

It’s the next day and we see the redesigned Lindsey Pierce. She has a perm now and is wearing much more casual clothing. She says that it’s the third day of filming. Man what a long three days.

Nick pulls Jem away and tells her to play up their romance. And Jem isn’t having it. But Nick insists because it makes great publicity. Rio’s being pissy by the way.

Well it’s time for the interview and Jem is doing her best. This is probably her first time being crowded by so many reporters. Nick says that Jem’s thankful for his expertise. Jem’s awkward, “Nick’s been very… uh… very helpful.” is just the best. She gets bombarded by more questions about her and Nick and he decides to be a creep and dips Jem and kisses her right on the lips. This really gets the cameras flashing.

Kimber walks off because nobody cares about her. And Eric remembers that Kimber has been extremely jealous of Jem in the past and tries to take advantage of that. In his usual creepy and overly touchy way. He tells Kimber that she can have her own scene with Nick Mann and this excites her.

Meanwhile Pizzazz is trying to get Rio even more jealous than he already is. And then she gives the signal.

A banner showing that The Misfits are the main starts of the movie is unfurled and this gets the press excited. They ask so many questions about how this came to be. By the way, Jem is jealous that Rio’s been spending so much time with Pizzazz.

After the press conference we see Howard Sands trying to talk some sense into Harvey Gabor. He mentions that Eric has a bad reputation, that the movie’s going to lose millions, and the money thing does get Harvey’s attention. But he stops caring again once he realizes which investment is being talked about. Harvey doesn’t care about losing the money as long as his daughter is out of his hair.

There is a reason I wrote a meta post about Pizzazz and her relationship with her father. It’s not great.

Jem’s ready to record her next music video but there’s been a change of plans. Instead we get…

My favourite Misfits song! :D Universal Appeal is so good! I love it! Aaaahhhh! I reblogged a very interesting post about this song and I’m gonna stick it here because it’s very good.

Jem’s fed up with Pizzazz. Just completely done with her. They attack each other with the set. And then afterwards Jem rants about just how sick of everything she is and then she quits and storms off. I really really love how she’s allowed to get mad. She has every right to be; her patience has constantly been tried every day of this filming. It was supposed to be really fun but Pizzazz came in and ruined everything.

The other members of Jem and The Holograms quit too. Eric tries to stop Kimber but she’s loyal to her sister.

Nick Mann’s not happy about Jem quitting but the makeup artist from earlier tells him that she’s just playing prima donna and will be back tomorrow.

Video leaves with Jem and says that she’s not going to film The Misfits.

Who are celebrating together with Clash. They’re so happy. :)

We now see Ba Nee’s eye appointment and it’s not looking too good. The eye doctor sends her out of the room so he can talk to Jerrica in private.

And he tells Jerrica that Ba Nee could go blind in a matter of months, or maybe even sooner than that.

We end the episode on this shot.

And that’s it, the first part of the Starbright trilogy. I actually don’t have much to ramble about here. I did all my rambling earlier.