#supportive golf club kiddos

[shysheeperz]

[moldisgoodforyou]

Feel like Sophie’s dad is gonna be more supportive of Rafe when he gets his internship (if they golf tg and he finds out there) than his own father.. ward wrath is not something I would want to have lmao

yes and thank u for this !!! the perfect transition piece for me lol 

wordcount: 1.1k

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“Rafe, kiddo!” Sophie’s dad called out across the parking lot, clubs slung across his back. The two had seen each other around at the course when Rafe had been there for obligatory client meetings for Ward’s company, but Mr. Flint had always been too busy to say much more than hello. Rafe paused mid-stride, brightening when he realized it was her dad calling out to him. “Mr. Flint, hey, how have you been?” 

“It’s Jeff.” Her dad corrected Rafe as always, catching up to him. “I’m good, what are you out here for today? Going to another one of your meetings?” 

“Ah, no, sir, I’m just hitting at the range. Stress relief.” Rafe joked, though the strained smile he gave betrayed him. Sophie had told her dad some of what Rafe had to endure through work and at home, but told him not to mention it, afraid it was sharing a little too much of his personal life. Mr. Flint nodded and clapped him on the shoulder affectionately. “Mind if I join you?” 

“No, not at all.” Rafe grinned. He had always had friendly experiences with Sophie’s dad, and it was just about as close as he could get to spending time with Sophie herself these days, as pathetic as that was. 

“Heard from my girl lately?” Mr. Flint asked, setting up his clubs next to Rafe’s on the driving range. 

“A little, here and there.” Rafe shrugged, driving his tee into the grass. “She’s really busy, so I only really get to hear from her for twenty minutes or so before she goes to bed.” 

Her dad nodded. “That makes me feel a little better. We’ve hardly heard from her since she left.” 

“Yeah, I think she likes it though. Maybe a little too much.” Rafe cracked a smile and her dad returned a sympathetic one. “She’ll be back before you know it. You’re keeping busy with work though, it seems?” 

“I am, I am.” Rafe nodded and hit his first ball much shorter than he liked, feeling a little nervous around Mr. Flint - feeling the need to impress him. Sophie’s dad pretended not to notice, busying himself with a few warmup shots of his own to give Rafe a chance to get better. “You’re here the whole summer, then?” 

“Hope not.” Rafe mumbled, then cleared his throat. “No, sir, I’ve applied for a few internships back in Columbus that would start in July. Still waiting to hear back from two, I’d go live with my friend for a week until I could move into my senior house.” 

Her dad perked up, glad he brought up the conversation first without him accidentally slipping that Sophie had already told him. “That’s big news! Will you hear back soon?” 

“Supposed to today for one of them, yeah.” Rafe smiled at his encouragement, standing a little taller. “I’m not sure if I’ll get it, I was kind of nervous for the interview.” 

“I’m sure you crushed it, kid.” Mr. Flint watched Rafe take another swing, then gave him a gentle nudge to the arm with his club. “Straighten your left elbow. I know I’m not your instructor anymore, but you know you can do better.” 

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.” He seemed to shrink back into himself a little at the reminder, then hit another golf ball following his instructions. Mr. Flint nodded approvingly with a grin. “There you go, I knew you had it in you. Just needed a little pointer.” 

Rafe glanced up for approval right away after hitting the ball, and beamed when Mr. Flint encouraged him further instead of just nodding like he was used to with Ward. “I’m a little rusty, sorry.” 

“No need to apologize. Are you excited about this internship? If you’d get it?” Her dad asked. 

“Um…” Rafe paused, not sure how much he should share. “I’d like to be back with my friends in Columbus, not many of them are still here this summer. The internship would be okay.” 

“It’d be supply chain, right? The one with Jeni’s Ice Cream?” 

Rafe cocked his head. “How’d you know that?” 

Her dad hesitated with a sheepish grin, caught. “Soph told me she wanted you to get that one, so she could get the free ice cream supply.” 

“She talks to you about me?” 

“Of course she does.” Mr. Flint smiled. “Is that the one you want?” 

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s the one I’m more interested in. Fun perks, I guess, I just.” 

“You can tell me.” Her dad encouraged. 

“Okay, uh. I’m just not sure I want to do that for the rest of my life, you know?” Rafe gestured to the golf course. “Like, how’d you figure out you wanted to do this?” 

“I started as a math teacher, actually. Middle school.” Her dad laughed as Rafe wrinkled his nose. “I know, I know. Did it for about fifteen years, then I decided I wanted to keep teaching, but do something I was interested in.” He hit his last ball with a satisfying crack. “Now I get to spend my days out here teaching the same snotty middle-schoolers, but some of them end up being better than others.” Mr. Flint grinned. 

“Fifteen years.” Rafe echoed, letting out a low whistle. “Long time to do something you don’t love.” 

“Yes, well. It’s more about just your job. It’s about the time you’re spending with who you love, who you come home to. That’s what’ll make you happy.” He stepped back off the range, giving Rafe space to hit his last few balls. “Go ahead, let’s see your swing.” 

Rafe gave him a grateful smile, knowing he didn’t know just how much of an impact those few words had on him. Instead of responding, he just hit the next few balls, concentrating on making the best shots possible until he felt a buzzing in his pocket and fished his phone out, brow furrowing when he recognized the Ohio number. “Uh - do you mind if I -” 

“Go.” Her dad nodded encouragingly and Rafe nodded quickly, answering as he strolled out to the parking lot. A few minutes later, he came back sporting a wide grin. “Mr. Flint - er, Jeff!” 

“You got it?” 

“I got it!” 

“Atta boy!” Her dad pulled him in for a quick hug unthinkingly, clapping him on the back. “See, nothing to stress about.” 

“I gotta call - is it okay if I -” Rafe gestured to his phone, unable to get his words out. 

“No, no, go for it.” Mr. Flint smiled knowingly and handed him his bag with his clubs placed neatly back in it. “Tell her hi for me?” 

“I will, I will.” Rafe grinned. “Thank you, for this.” 

“Don’t worry about it.”

taglist: @whoeveniskendall @kkmaybank @karsinner @outerbanksbro @outerbankspreferences @randomficsandshit @sunshineitsfine44 @jailcalledlife @tovvaa @moniamaybank @illbesafeforyou @dontjinx-it @freddymaybank @jjmaybankzz @g4bster @oopsiedoopsie23 @babygal-babygal​

[welcometotheocverse]

🌟 for Elliot pls?

:D aaaah! I’ve had him in the brain a lot lately okay sorry this got long And also im rewatching rn so its sorta season 1ish.

Elliot is Rory’s younger twin. He was given Christopher’s middle name. He’s mostly grateful it was the middle name.

He and Rory are super close. It was just the two of them ( and then Lane) The Twins That Read A Lot. Because they had each other they didn’t have much incentive to make friends outside of each other ( Elliot more than Rory) and extrapolating from the Pilot where Rory doesn’t seem like she has a lot of friends ( or any sans Lane) and is lowkey scoffed at for reading the assignment I’m gonna go with “other kids weren’t that keen on making friends with them either”

Rory’s the talkative one, he’s the quiet one. This is a bit of Rory also being protective of him/noticing when he looks overwhelmed and just...talking up a storm as is her wont and subtly getting attention away from Elliot. For a lot of the early season they’re not seen one without the other ( keeping in mind their arch is to learn it’s okay to have different dreams and even go different places ) 

Sorta shy and a bit more introverted than Rory. Once you become his friend however he pretty much would die for you and his face absolutely lights up when he sees you as opposed to his usual reserved nature and he talks to you albeit not as much as his twin ( unless hes super excited or talking about something he finds interesting then the resemblance kicks in lmao but thats the exception)  its like a switch ( seen with Rory, Luke, and Lane in canon and Sophie/Paige in their xover)

Likes hanging out at Luke’s. They both sorta enjoy... being quiet around each other. Elliot thinks he has a really calming vibe …when Taylor’s not there.

Ms Kim doesn’t like him because he’s a boy so he’s not allowed at Lane’s like Rory is ( honestly the feeling’s mutual bc “I’m pretty  sure locking you up for days and keeping you from school falls under child abuse also wtf” and lowkey the girls are like “lets just keep you not in the house” Lane might be closer to Rory but they still talk music together. She’s part of the reason his music taste actually started deviating  from  Lorelai’s and Rory’s.)

He doesn’t like unfair treatment of other people. It really gets to him. Examples are Ms. Kim to Lane and his grandparents and father to his mom. Later examples are Mitchum Huntzberger, and Marty. ( he’s pretty unimpressed with Marty and how his feelings for Rory make him act in general tbh but what he does with Lucy is just...it really bothers him he’s adamant that  Rory should tell Lucy the truth.)

Highkey  he has about zero patience for bad/toxic parents partly bc of his own feelings about Christopher and to an extent his grandparents that he keeps minimizing so they get projected on...everyone else with bad parents lol.

 Logan’s still a bit amazed that this shy soft spoken kid he met in his junior year went off like “He’s not your fucking property” when Mitchum went on his “You’re available when i say you’re available” tirade ( Elliot was ngl intimidated/scared of Mitchum who pretty much went “Who the hell are you??!” but Logan’s his friend and that wasn’t okay and he kept eye contact with the asshole until Logan diverted his attention back to him/the fight they were having and made sure he at least told Logan afterwards because “but he shouldn’t..” and “he shouldn’t have” and “No! No..it’s not Okay. “)

But also like constantly “it’s not a big deal” when it comes to his aforementioned feelings about Christopher and pretty much anything he might be angry about. 

Lowkey spends a lot of time Rory goes through relationship drama between “????” and “wowww dodged a bullet” Rory throws pillows at him for the latter because “If I’m gonna rant at you El, you could at least give me sympathy.”

He does have some insecurities about his orientation born out of just..f.eeling othered due to isolation and also some stuff he’s heard his dad say.

He figures out he’s asexual before he figures out he’s aromantic and has to deal with a lot of “Are you sure?” and “is that..is that normal?” from some townsfolks before he figures out Luke can scare them off and he lowkey spends a lot of time at the dinner during this time. Luke smiles at him and gives him muffins tho he’ll deny deny deny if you mention it.

A bit more sensitive than Rory like on the pilot episode when he notices Lorelai is worried about Chilton/having to ask her parents for money he stops at the base of the stairs and asks “is...everything okay mom?” and is kinda just in tune with how the people he cares about are feeling/picks up on things like that.

He...doesn’t super like his grandparents because of how they treat his mother.  Emily already made him a bit anxious because of her passive  aggressive nature ( he’s giving me some anxiety vibes tbh) and the fact that he thought the fact that his mom kept them away sorta ominous.  A lot of season 1 is him looking down at his plate and tensing with every “your mother’s golf clubs are in the attic along with the rest of her potential” and Richard’s “he ( Christopher) always was a smart one that  boy, you two must take after  him” and “as a maid with all your brains and talents” and it sorta...yeah he spends a lot of time looking at his plate and swallowing resentment. There are times where it gets better but overall he’s never completely at ease around them. He’s very quiet but civil around them even as he grows some affection and builds bridges with them along Lorelai and Rory. And I haven’t even figured out the fallout with the thing they pull at the wedding.

Emily at least once asked off handedly why Elliot wasn’t seeing anyone and I’m still figuring out if she says something like “that’s not normal” before Lorelai or Rory intervene.

(( Full disclosure Emily reminds me a bit too much of my own relationship with my mom and its really hard to write her favorably though I at least try to be fair. So Elliot is sometimes  a bit harsh on her and very in Lorelai’s corner when Emily and Richard are...less than nice. ))

Sort of a mamma’s boy. Rory and Lorelai have their special connection but so do Elliot and Lorelai. Rory was a bit more extroverted and would play/hang out with Lane while Elliot was perfectly content as a babie curling up with his mom and reading. It worried Lorelai a bit, how hard it was for him to reach out ( she never had that moment she had with Rory and Lane of “my kid has a friend” with him) but he always had Rory yknow so she calmed herself with that. Sometimes when Rory’s with Lane he’ll hang out at the Inn and work there. He somehow got in to Michel’s good graces ( “because you are quiet and unobtrusive”  and got him to teach him French 

Very tactile. When he’s getting nervous Rory will reach out and grab his hand or Lore will put her hands on his shoulder and he’ll calm down. He does the same when wanting to comfort friends or just wanting to show affection ( will lean on Finn and Colin a lot as he gets closer to them or accept that they’ll just throw an arm around him)

Meeting the LAD bridgade kids makes social events with his grandparents so much easier like ohmygod subparties with Logan Colin Finn and Rory  become lifesavers. ( its not so much the drinking as having someone you can laugh with while dodging your grandparents friends and the girl they told to look for you yknow)

He has more resentment towards Christopher than his sister and doesn’t see him with the rose colored glasses Rory sees him in their younger years. His absence hurts him a lot. He hides it well and is nice enough towards him because he loves Lorelai and Rory and wants them to be happy/have a good time but if you catch him on a bad day you might get a rant about how little Christopher knows about them and how little he was there  and “he just drops by, spends like a day with us and leaves yknow...it’s...and we’re supposed to be happy???” and the fact that he doesn’t wanna tell Rory or Lorelai bc he thinks it’ll upset them just  sorta...makes it worse.

And then at some point  Christopher pops off with “and how long are you gonna entertain this phase of his Lore, a boy his age should be dating” and while Rory’s making angry noises and Lorelai’s saying “Outside. Now” ( though they don’t know the twins are listening) he just gets...this thin unsurprised smile and...yeah it’s not great. 

Very supportive of people he loves. He’s constantly telling Rory through the Chilton years that she’s smart enough, more than smart enough to get through this and helps her study. He makes sure he tells Lorelai he loves her or hugs her if he can tell the dinners are a bit hard on her. Honestly a total cream puff. The resentment for his grandparents and father is mostly buried and comes out like when he’s upset/they do something that provokes it. Mostly he’s a really soft boy and kinda soft spoken, loves reading about science and space ( he balances out Rory’s preference for literature and history though they both like poetry and Elliot occasionally reads prose as Rory lets him infodump sometimes about science journals) and loves his friends so so dearly. Will get angry a la Beware The Nice Ones if you hurt them though the first thing he’ll do is comfort them/try to cheer them up.

He loves Stars Hollow but being the only aroace person he knows of there ( and fielding well intentioned “are you sures?” and “oh honey you’ll find someone someday”s and just..alot of early 2000s Star Hollow-ness ( “Hey kiddo you gonna bid on a basket this year?” “oh you’re getting handsome, gonna find yourself a girl for the starlight festival?” “is he..youknow?” is just...a lot? He wants to spread his wings and find his place/people like him/feel less isolated.

He still loves his town though as its his home and raised him his sister and in a way his mother. He visits while he’s at Yale ( the distance helps tremendously as does the ability to just...leave again) like Rory and says hi to Miss Patty and Gypsy and Andrew ( he loves Andrew omg. One of the few people who didn’t just assume he and Rory were always reading the same books) He helps the 30-Something gang find jobs/fine tune resumes  though im not including anything else form ayit and checks in how they’re doing bc..its still his town. They’re his family. “my nuts-o, extended...well meaning but sometimes overly invested and too-pushy-and-slightly-overbearing family.” even as he dreams of getting out a lot and once he does he...really likes it. He loves them

He goes to Yale because Rory goes to Yale (because again the whole Learning To Be Independent From Your Twin...kind of a slow process for him) and gets sibling-adopted by Finn and Colin  in a turn of events he’s pretty much confused over like im p sure they were like “hes ours now” and Elliot was like “im ...you’re...w..what?” and Logan who Knows Finn and Colin is like “don’t fight it” and lowkey adopted him too.

Im cutting myself off bc this got Long and im sorry lol

Thank you so much for the ask <3

send me a ✨ and i’ll tell you about a random OC

[advisormains]

Lucky strike birthday party cost

LUCKY STRIKE BIRTHDAY PARTY COST FULL

While protected by a shield, gain an additional 40% Normal and Charged Attack DMG.Using an Elemental Burst increases all party members' ATK by 20% for 12s.When 6 seconds pass without gaining a Curiosity stack, 1 stack is lost. Curiosity can stack up to 4 times, each providing 6% DEF and a 6% Geo DMG Bonus. When off the field, the character gains 1 stack every 3s. A character equipped with this Artifact set will obtain the Curiosity effect in the following conditions: When on the field, the character gains 1 stack after hitting an opponent with a Geo attack, triggering a maximum of once every 0.3s.▲Back to All Builds and Roles▲ Best Artifacts Ranked Rating Best Artifacts for Yun Jin Jump to a section! Comparatively, her Elemental skill is not particularly strong but should still be leveled. For hours and rates visit their website.Yun Jin as a support character will want to level up her Elemental Burst first since it's the primary source of her support abilities. Birthday parties, complete with glow-in-the-dark bowling-are offered for all ages party packages cost $20 per child with a minimum of 8 children. The on-site Albany Bowl Cafe serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The East Bay's Albany Bowl is a family-style bowling center with 36 lanes in three separate rows, with bumper bowling for little ones as well as an arcade room and pool tables. Options for kids include bumpers, ramps and a variety of customizable game options. 7Ten Social Upscale Bowling & LoungeħTen Social has 16 upscale bowling lanes, including four private lanes, with LED lighting, lane chat/texting, and a 60-foot video wall.

LUCKY STRIKE BIRTHDAY PARTY COST FULL

You can order food from on-site restaurant A2 Kitchen's full menu. Lucky StrikeĪlso in San Francisco's SOMA neighborhood, the upscale Lucky Strike bowling center offers 12 lanes, as well as a private two-lane suite. On-site food and beverage service is available. Bumpers are available for the little ones, as are kids' birthday parties. SOMA's Yerba Buena Gardens area is home to this 12-lane bowling center, along with a year-round ice skating rink. Yerba Buena Ice Skating and Bowling Center Children's birthday parties are available. This intimate 12-land bowling alley is located in the heart of the Presidio of San Francisco National Park. This small but action-paked bowling alley features automatic scoring, bumpers for kids 8 and under, a grill with a full menu, 50 kinds of beer, and 19 kinds of wine. For hours and pricing visit their website. Double Decker Lanes is also the first bowling center in the USA to be solar powered! You can reserve birthday parties online. A full on-site snack bar offers food and drink, and there's a video arcade and pool tables, too. Double Decker Lanesģ00 Golf Course Drive, Rohnert Park 94928Īs its name implies, Double Decker Lanes offers not one but two levels of bowling action, with 50 state-of-the-art lanes with automatic scoring and bumper bowling for the kiddos. Check their website for hours and pricing. Three different kids' birthday party packages are available. Food, including pizza, burgers, and sandwiches, and cocktails are available on-site. Bumpers and ramps are available for the little ones. AMF Boulevard Lanesġ100 Petaluma Boulevard South, Petaluma 94952ĪMF Boulevard Lanes, located at the south end of Petaluma, features 40 bowling lanes as well as pool and an arcade. Several different birthday party packages are available call (415) 456-4661 to book your lanes. In case that's enough, they have pool tables and an arcade, too. On-site food is provided by Villa York Pizza and Grill, and they even have over a dozen beers on tap. Located in San Rafael, Marin's only bowling alley offers 40 lanes, automatic scoring, and plenty of bumper lanes for the little ones. You remember how fun those were, right? Country Club Bowl Most of these bowling alleys also offer birthday parties for kids, as well. There are still a few fantastic family friendly bowling alleys in Marin and the Bay Area, so go rent some shoes, pick out your ball (that red one looks pretty cool!) and bowl a few games with the kiddos. It's a great active rainy day activity, too. Also, you have to love a sport where you can get an order of chili cheese fries while you're playing. Actually, it's even more fun for the little ones now with the advent of bumper bowling and ball ramps. Remember those fun times you had bowling when you were a kid? Guess what-it hasn't changed all that much, although it seems that there are fewer spots where you can bowl these days.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 32

Well, this one’s finally done. ANd that’s about all I can really say for it. It has its moments where I think its pretty cute, but other than that it stands as our last real fluff chapter for a while. Because next time around, kids, we’re diving headlong into the angst zone.... ;) 

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/158966244469/universe-falls-chapter-31

Chapter 32: The Golf War

X OFSXI KLT JFDEQ PLJBAXV YB X ZILPBO COFBKA QEXK BKBJV

While it was still relatively early in the day, that didn’t stop Dipper, Steven, and Connie from continuing their Lonely Blade movie marathon from the previous day. While they had watched the first third films in the Japanese action film series at the temple yesterday, today they had taken to the den of the Mystery Shack, the three of them nestled around the recliner with Lion and Waddles resting together close by. The climax of the fourth Lonely Blade film was at its height, and while the entire movie was in Japanese, the kids didn’t have much trouble keeping up with things thanks to the English subtitles.

“It was you!” Lonely Blade exclaimed dramatically, pointing his sword as his opponent. “You were the one who killed my brother, cursing me to fight alone forever!”

“Oh, Lonely Blade, you so lonely,” Steven remarked sympathetically.

“I think that’s kind of the point, Steven,” Connie said with a soft chuckle.

“You think you can defeat me?!” Lonely Blade’s nemesis asked challengingly. “The President of the Shadow Samurai Government?!”

“What?!” the young Gem gasped, sitting up. “The janitor is the evil samurai president?! That’s bananas!”

“Seriously? That’s the big twist?” Dipper asked incredulously, not impressed. “It was totally obvious! He’s been mopping the floor in the background of literally every fight scene.”

“Yeah, and he’s even on the cover of the box,” Connie pointed out, holding said box up. “If they had really wanted to write in a good twist, then they should have made the delivery guy the president instead!”

“Oh man, exactly!” Dipper exclaimed. “Considering how unassuming and nice that guy was, it would have been way smarter for them to make him the villain! That would have been a much better twist ending, if you ask me.”

“That’s what I’m saying! It’s thematically resonant with the rest of the movie, plus it would have created much better suspense!”

“Hm… I don’t see it…” Steven frowned, their analysis going right over his head.

Still, before either Dipper or Connie could go into detail, Stan interrupted, stepping into the den with a full pan in hand. “Who wants Stan-cakes?” he asked, nodding to the breakfast he had just made. “They’re like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in them.” Of course, despite this rare offer for free food from the conman, the kids were all quick to turn him down.

“Pass.”

“…No, thank you.”

“I’m…. I’m good.”

“Eh, more for me.” Stan shrugged with a grin. However, he didn’t have much of a chance to sit down and enjoy his pancakes before the shack’s door burst open and Mabel rushed in with a very excited squeal.

“It’s here!” she proclaimed brightly, holding up a newspaper as she ran around the den. “It’s here! It’s here! It’s here! I’ve been waiting all morning and it’s finally here!”

“What’s here?” Connie asked curiously.

“This is!” Mabel waved the paper she was holding around. “The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels! My picture is gonna be in the newspaper!”

“Whoa! Mabel, that’s so awesome!” Steven exclaimed in amazement. “You know, me and the Gems were in the paper one time, and so was the temple! But… only for an article about the most dangerous places in Gravity Falls that people should probably stay away from…”

A bout of awkward silence passed at this, though Stan broke through it a moment or two later. “So, let’s see that article, kiddo,” he said, sending Mabel a surprisingly encouraging grin.

“Check it!” she exclaimed proudly, holding the front page out for everyone to see while the conman read it aloud.

“Pacifica Northwest declares V-neck the look of the season,” Stan read, only for his grin to instantly fade into confusion. “What am I looking at here?”

“Whoa, whoa, what?!” Mabel gasped, looking at the paper herself to find that her article of squirrel fashions was nowhere to be found. Instead, the front page had been commandeered by an article by Pacifica, as well as a large, flashy photo of the heiress herself.

“Looks like someone bought their way to the front page,” Dipper remarked with apt distain for Pacifica, especially seeing how distressed Mabel was as she looked over the article.

“I’m surprised she doesn’t do that every day, considering how hard it is for her to stay out of the limelight for even a minute,” Connie scoffed just as crossly.

“Is it legal for a child to wear that much makeup?” Stan asked, a hint of contempt in his tone as well.

“Ugh! Pacifica!” Mabel growled, throwing the paper down onto the floor in frustration. “She always ruins everything!”

“Aw, I’m sorry about your article, Mabel,” Steven said with sincerity. “But look at the bright side! You can always share your squirrel fashion tips with all of us!”

“Yeah, and besides,” Dipper interjected supportively. “Who even reads newspapers anymore anyway?”

“Dudes!” Soos exclaimed as he walked into the room, holding a copy of the paper. “V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I’m taking it one step further… With a W-neck!” The handyman paused as he drew a W onto the collar of his shirt before haphazardly attempting to cut along it with a pair of scissors. “Must… follow… newspaper…”

“Well… that was some bad timing…” Connie noted with a frown.

“Oh, come on!” Mabel groaned in loud frustration as she stormed over to the table, pouring herself a glass of orange juice and downing it all in one gulp. “Ugh, I need something to get my mind off of this.”

Before anyone could even suggest something that could cheer her up however, the television happened to do it for them as it cut to an amazingly appropriate commercial. “Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?”

“Why, yes!” Mabel perked up, looking to the TV with immediate interest.

“Victory! Honor! Destiny! Heroism! Valor! Mutton!” the commercial boldly proclaimed. “These old-timey words are alive and well at the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Put Hut! *No mutton available at the snack shop*.”

“There you go, Mabel! You love mini-golf!” Dipper exclaimed, grabbing his sister’s scrapbook off the nearby table to show the others. Sure enough, it featured a picture of a nine-year old Mabel taking home a gold medal in a minor league mini-golf tournament. “She’s been amazing at it since we were kids! What do you say, Mabel? We’ve had a stressful couple of days. How about we take a break, huh?”

“Great idea, Dipper!” Steven readily agreed. “Mini-golf is so much fun! There’s castles, and windmills, and having to outrun security after Amethyst jumps into the moat so she can collect all the lost golf balls and eat them all! It’s the best!”

“Well, everything but that last part is fun, at least,” Connie shrugged. “But still, Mabel, a few rounds of mini-golf would be a great for you to get your mind off of—y-you know what.”

“So what do ya say, pumpkin?” Stan asked with a warm grin. “Would kicking all our butts at mini-golf cheer you up?”

“Maybe a little…” Mabel said quietly, tugging gently on her hair while pouting.

“Come on, Mabel!” Dipper encouraged as he jumped to his feet. “Victory!”

At this, Mabel couldn’t really hold her usual zeal back as she brightly picked up where her brother had left off. “Honor!”

“Destiny!” Stan proclaimed, also caught up in the moment.

“Heroism!” Connie jumped in brazenly.

“Valor!” Steven declared with a huge grin.

“Mutton!” Soos finished as his W-neck inadvertently flopped down.

Seeing as how the excitement was infections, the entire group launched into a unified cheer as they began to head out, pumping their fists in the air in anticipation over their mini-golf adventure. “Victory! Honor! Destiny! Heroism! Valor! Mutton! Victory! Honor! Destiny! Heroism! Valor! Mutton!”

“And the pig and the lion can look after the house!” Soos exclaimed before shutting the door behind him, leaving Waddles and Lion to continue lazily napping together as if nothing had happened.

While Gravity Falls was a rather small town, its local miniature golf course was surprisingly large and elaborate. Ye Royal Discount Putt Hutt consisted of the standard 18 holes, each hosting a different decorative theme, from a pirate ship, to the Eiffel tower, to mines, to a large windmill, to its central medieval castle. Business was certainly booming as several groups played through the course, including the Pines and the Gems as they had just arrived.

Surprisingly enough, it hadn’t been that difficult for Steven to convince the Gems to come along, seeing as how they didn’t really have anything better to do with their free time. Plus, as soon as they heard that it was for the sake of helping Mabel feel better, they couldn’t really say no. And so, even though they really didn’t understand the rules of the game that well, the trio was still along for the ride as the group came up to the first hole.

“Ahh, mini-golf!” Mabel grinned as she took in a deep breath, already feeling much more content now that she amidst her old pastime. “The sport of mini-champions!”

“The grass is fake, but the fun is real,” Dipper added, leaning against his golf club. “There’s something here for everyone!”

“So when do we get to the part where we start beating each other with these weird sticks?” Amethyst asked, swinging her club around as the group prepared to take on hole 1.

“Amethyst, that’s… not how you play mini-golf,” Connie said with a concerned frown. “Though I’m pretty sure that is a good way to get arrested…”

“Oh come on,” the purple Gem groaned. “First I can’t throw cannonballs into the pool and now I can’t hit people with sticks? Human stuff is so lame!”

“Hey, Garnet,” Stan smirked in apt amusement upon seeing the overtly colorful plaid pants the Gem leader happened to be wearing. “Nice pants. Where’d you get them from? Some old Scotsman’s garage sale?”

“They’re my dad’s actually,” Steven spoke up. “I found them while looking through his old golf clubs. They’re a little big on me, so I gave them to Garnet so she can wear them!”

“And I think I pull them off well enough,” Garnet remarked assuredly. “By the way, Stan, nice slippers.” She smirked as she nodded to the conman’s choice of footwear, which, sure enough, happened to be a pair of bedroom slippers, despite the fact that they were out in public.

“Hey! I’ll have you know it takes a lot of effort for a man my age to put actual shoes on!” Stan protested hotly. “Plus, these just so happen to be really comfortable slippers, so I see no problem wearing them out and about every now and then.”

“Hey could you guys maybe keep it down a little?” Dipper asked as he prepared to take his first swing. “I’m trying to focus here.” Turning away from the group, he did just that, taking the time to carefully line up the shot, only for his swing to end up missing the ball entirely. However, this did end up sending the ball teetering to the right, or rather, into the nearby shallow pond.

“Oh, excellent shot, Dipper!” Pearl applauded with a genuine smile.

“Uh, Pearl? I was supposed to hit it into the hole,” Dipper pointed out with slight confusion as to the white Gem’s excitement.

“Wait, really?” Pearl frowned. “Well then clearly I misunderstood the point of this game…”

“Don’t worry, bro!” Mabel encouraged, pulling a dinosaur sticker out of her vast collection and slapping it onto Dipper’s cheek. “You’re still ‘ext-roar-dinary’!”

“I’ll take what I can get,” Dipper concluded with a sigh, moving out of the way to allow his sister to take her turn.

Mabel stepped up onto the green with apt confidence, making sure to grip her club just right as she positioned her aim seamlessly. “Ok, do the hip wiggle and—yah!” Despite her apparent finesse in preparing her shot, Mabel simply whacked it, watching expectantly as it glided through the course without hitting so much as a single snag. The others were all aptly amazed as the ball rounded its way to the hole, slightly missing it, though fortunately it bounced off of McGucket’s nose as the old man napped on the green before landing its way in. “Yes!” Mabel cheered over her hole in one as the others applauded, clearly impressed.

“Holy smokes!” Stan gasped with a surprised smile. “Someone in our family actually has talent!”

“Grunkle Stan, you ain’t seen nothing yet!” Dipper remarked, knowing full well just how much of a shark his sister was at mini-golf.

“That was incredible, Mabel!” Steven exclaimed with a smile. “No wonder you’re such a pro at Golf Quest Mini! You’ve got the real world skills to back it up!”

“It’s all in the hips, Steven,” Mabel shrugged, even if she was quite proud over her success. “All in the hips.”

“Mm, I’d argue and say it’s a bit in the shoulders too,” Connie noted as she stepped up to take her turn. Her approach was far different from Mabel’s however, as instead of hitting the ball hard, her stroke was gentle and precise, though still enough to send the ball careening through the green and past any obstacles in its way. In the end, the ball squarely landed in the hole, much to the group’s collective surprise. “Oh nice!” Connie exclaimed with a grin. “Looks like I still got it.”

“Whoa! Looks like we got two mini-golf masters on our hands!” Soos quipped, grinning at the girls.

“Indeed! How did you get so skilled at this game, Connie?” Pearl asked curiously.

“My parents enrolled me in mini-golf camp a few summers ago,” Connie explained. “I’m probably a little rusty after all these years, but I can remember most of what they taught us.”

“Mini-golf camp?” Dipper asked with a good natured chuckle. “Yeesh, Connie, what extra-curricular activity haven’t your parents made you do?”

“Eh, they mean well,” Connie also laughed. “They say all this stuff is supposed to help make me a ‘well-rounded individual’, but mostly I think its help bolster my college resume someday.”

“Well still, it’s good to finally have some friendly competition,” Mabel remarked, grinning at Connie. “It gets boring always beating Dipper by so many strokes on every hole!”

“Hey!” Dipper protested as Steven let out a small laugh.

“Well, I guess this will be a good chance for us both to put our skills to the test,” Connie smiled as she exchanged a sportsmanly handshake with Mabel. “Good luck, Mabel.”

“Same to you, Connie!” Mabel exclaimed brightly, though Amethyst was quick to interject into the friendly exchange.

“So now do we get to hit each other with these things?” she asked, holding her club up as the girls looked to her in confusion. “Yes? No? Later? Probably later, right? Yeah, probably later.”

Since their group was so large, it took a while for everyone to get through each hole of the course, but even so, fun was certainly being had. Throughout most of the game, Mabel and Connie were neck and neck, scoring mostly holes-in-one, with a few rare flukes every now and then. Of course, the others lagged far behind their skill, to the point that none of them could hope to come close, which meant they were all competing for third place. Despite his best efforts, Dipper inadvertently ended up sending most of his shots into sand traps or tight corners, while the majority of Steven’s shots ended up landing outside of each course altogether. Soos’ score was already ranking far above par for each hole, and Stan clearly wasn’t putting much effort into his swings, seeing as how they would often miss the hole by a longshot. Even the Gems weren’t faring much better, with Garnet sending more than a few balls hurdling towards the sky, Pearl coming up with complex, albeit non-functional formulas to try and land her shots just right, and Amethyst trying to eat her ball at nearly every hole.

By the time they had made it to the 18th hole, the dreaded Dutch windmill, Mabel and Connie were essentially tied for first place, with a very narrow margin existing between their scores. By their show of skill alone, the girls had already amassed a large crowd of patrons to watch their tense, yet friendly competition, and everyone waited on anxious, baited breaths to see who would come out on top. And indeed, it certainly seemed like either one of them could. Connie had already taken her shot, one that landed mere inches away from the hole, much to her disappointment. Mabel was set to go next, and already she was focusing all of her efforts into making this the perfect shot as everyone watched on in eager anticipation.

“Guys, this is amazing!” Dipper exclaimed as he finished tallying up the most recent score. “If Mabel gets one more hole-in-one, she’ll beat her all time high score!”

“But if she misses, then that means Connie could win,” Steven pointed out anxiously. “But I want Mabel to win too! Oh, this is so hard! Why can’t if just be a tie?!”

“I mean, it could be, if she misses,” Connie shrugged, not really bothered by either outcome. “At this point, it could go either way.”

“Or a different way entirely,” Garnet spoke up, adjusting her shades as vaguely as always.

Still, Mabel paid none of this speculation any mind as she lined her putter up to the ball, muttering intently to herself as she did so. “You got this, Mabel. Just pretend the ball is Pacifica’s face!” With that satisfying thought in mind, she finally made her move, whacking the ball and sending it cleanly through the windmill’s tiny opening. It certainly seemed like the ball was going to make it all the way to the hole, but instead, it rolled around its fringe and into the small puddle against the wall, where it unfortunately stopped and stayed. “Aw, nuts!” Mabel shouted angrily, tossing her putter to the ground in a petulant huff.

Upon witnessing this failure, a murmur of dissent rippled through the crowd as it began to steadily disband, only leaving the original group behind. Still, they were all quick to meet Mabel on the other side of the windmill as she morosely went to retrieve her ball. “Garnet, tell me the truth,” Mabel began as they all arrived. “Did you see me missing that shot with your future vision?”

“Mm… I saw it,” Garnet acknowledged gently. “But I didn’t want to throw your game off by telling you about it.”

Mabel let out a loud, exasperated groan at this, but even so, Connie was quick to jump in at an attempt to reassure her. “Don’t feel bad, Mabel. This is a tough hole, even for me.”

“Yeah! Plus that means you guys are tied for first!” Steven quipped with a reassuring smile. “You both won, which in my book, is pretty amazing.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, kid,” Stan remarked, pulling Mabel’s ball out of the water and handing it back to her. “The whole thing’s random anyway.”

“Besides the Bermuda Triangle, how mini-golf works is our world’s greatest mystery,” Soos added.

“Isn’t it just a matter of force and gravity acting upon the ball in a way that propels it forward as friction and curves gradually work against it?” Pearl inquired eloquently.

“Anyway,” Stan said pointedly, ignoring the white Gem as he turned to both Mabel and Connie. “As far as I’m concerned, you two are still better at this than anyone else in Gravity-”

The conman was abruptly cut off as a random ball happened to easily sink into the nearby hole, resulting in a perfect hole in one. Everyone gasped in shock at this, though their shock soon turned to disdain upon seeing who had landed this incredible shot.

“Oh, would you look at that?” Pacifica asked dryly, casually positioning her putter over her shoulder as she sent the Pines and the Gems a snide glance. “I didn’t know if was ‘hobos golf-free’ day!”

“Pacifica!” Connie growled hotly, gripping her golf club in tight anger.

“Oh come on!” Mabel huffed just as bitterly. “First the newspaper, and now this! How many other things can she ruin for me today?!”

The heiress didn’t happen overhear this as she strode over to the group confidently, her parents following not too far behind as they shared their daughter’s conceited demeanor. “Well if it isn’t the Pines family!” Pacifica remarked with faux delight as she launched an insult at each one of them. “Fat,” she pointed to Soos. “Old,” she said, nodding at Stan. “Lame,” she rolled her eyes as she got to Dipper. “And Braces!” she sneered, smirking at Mabel.

“Would it be wrong to punch a child?” Stan muttered, quite incensed as he clenched his fists.

“Maybe for you, but not for me!” Connie replied, already cracking her knuckles in anticipation.

“D-do we really have to resort to violence?” Steven asked with apt concern, though Pacifica was quick to cut in once more.

“Oh, and look who else turned up,” she raised an eyebrow as she turned to Steven, Connie, and the Gems. “Goofball, Glasses, and the Rhinestone Gems!”

“Oh, I’ll show her rhinestones!” Pearl hissed crossly, taking a step forward only for Garnet to stop her.

“Easy,” the Gem leader advised, as calm as ever until the heiress happened to throw a scathing remark her way.

“Nice pants by the way,” Pacifica mocked, pointing to Garnet’s golf pants. “They really go with that whole cringeworthy ‘stuck in the 70s’ look you’re trying to pull off and failing at”

The Gem leader’s expression darkened upon hearing this, and it was instantly clear to see she was anything but amused as her teammates looked to her expectantly. “On second thought…”

“Guys, I got this,” Dipper interjected before turning to the heiress with a smug grin. “Hey, Pacifica, how’s that whole ‘your family being frauds’ thing working out for you?”

“Great, actually!” Pacifica replied triumphantly. “That’s the thing about money. It makes problems go away!”

“Well it can’t buy you skill!” Mabel remarked. “You just walked into the game of two mini-golf champions, right Connie?”

“Right!” Connie readily agreed. “You may have gotten lucky on this hole, but we’d love to see you do half as good on any other whole here.”

“Pfft, ‘luck’ has nothing to do with it,” Pacifica scoffed before snapping her fingers. “Sergei!” At this command, a tall, lanky Russian man stepped forward, toting the heiresses’ golf clubs and other gear as he stood firmly beside her. “This is Sergei, my trainer.”

“The Sportlympics had mini-golf once,” Sergei said, his accent quite thick. “I took gold!” He pulled his shirt open a bit to reveal the large gold medal hanging from his neck, which was indeed for first place in mini-golf.

“Whoa… I wish I was good enough to get a medal in mini-golf,” Steven mused, amazed. His wonder was cut short however, as Amethyst quickly elbowed him as a reminder that they were against Pacifica in this. “Oh, uh, I mean…. I-it’s not that great.”

“Well, trainer or no trainer, Mabel and Connie could still kick your butt at mini-golf any day!” Dipper asserted, sending the heiress a harsh glare.

“Please. Don’t make me laugh,” Pacifica sneered, rolling her eyes as she moved onto the bonus hole, coldly addressing the girls on her way there. “Now, if you two don’t mind moving out of the way of the professionals…” With her usual pointed flare, the heiress stepped up to the hole and effortlessly took her swing, which landed right in the volcanic bonus hole and prompting a momentous explosion of celebration. “Enjoy sharing second place,” she remarked to Mabel and Connie, who had only watched on in severe unified frustration. “Give them a hand, folks!”

As the nearby crowd launched into a patronizing round of applause, neither of the girls were really paying them any mind. After all, they were far too incensed now after hearing Pacifica mock the skill that they were both rather proud of themselves over. “Ok, that’s it!” Connie seethed, gripping her golf club tightly. “Time to knock that dumb smirk right off her ‘perfect’ little face!”

“Yeah! Now we’re talking!” Amethyst cheered, more than ready to put her club to good use.

“Hold it, you guys,” Mabel stopped them before they could go after the heiress. “I have something else in mind… Hey, Pacifica!” she called after her rival as she began to leave. “We challenge you to a rematch!”

“Oh, good idea!” Connie exclaimed with renewed verve as she turned to Pacifica. “Let’s see you put those supposed ‘skills’ of yours to the test!”

“I don’t think either of you wanna go there with me,” Pacifica remarked, still not turning to face them. “After all, isn’t it already embarrassing enough for you being poor and mediocre? Do we really need to have some petty little contest to prove it?”

“Oh, what, are you scared?” Mabel challenged daringly, going on impulse as she launched into a barrage of insults worthy of the spoiled heiress. “You… you walking one-dimensional, bleached-blonde, valley girl stereotype!”

Upon hearing such a verbal thrashing, the entire crowd took in a collective gasp of shock. Still, no one was more surprised or more enraged at this call-out than Pacifica herself as she abruptly spun around to face Mabel and Connie, her expression beyond livid. “Like, let’s do this!” she accepted crossly, flipping her hair for extra emphasis.

Without any further prompting from either side, all three of the girls met at the center of the course, their putters in hand as they prepared to face off. However, before they could even set the rules of their competition, clouds quickly started rolling in through the previously sunny skies above, making it clear that a sporadic summer storm was in the offing. While Mabel, Connie, and Pacifica were more than willing to compete through it, the Mini-Golf King thought otherwise.

“Hear ye! Hear ye!” the course’s owner called, driving up in his gaudy golf cart, which he accidentally happened to drive right into a nearby lamp post. “Ow!” he exclaimed, bumping into the pole several more times before righting his vehicle and continuing. “Stop at once! The park is now closed due to weather! The King of Mini-Golf has spoken!” With his messaged relayed, the Mini-Golf King put his cart in reverse, only for it to ram into another pole and topple onto its side with him still in it. “Ah! The king is down!”

“This isn’t over,” Pacifica declared to her opponents. “You two, me, midnight. We’ll see who’s best!”

“Oh, you bet we will…” Connie scowled as the heiress sauntered off.

“Yeah! We’ll be here!” Mabel exclaimed with heated zeal. All too quickly, the oncoming storm began as lightning flashed in the distance and rain began to drizzle onto the course. The Northwests were more than prepared for it though as they whipped their umbrellas out in perfect unison before heading off, laughing amongst themselves over everything that had just happened as Sergei ran dutifully after them. But even so, Connie and Mabel remained firm in their stance as they watched their shared rival leave, both of them more than eager to beat her at her own game later that evening. That is, until Steven accidentally undermined their show of resolve with his usual friendliness.

“Bye, Pacifica!” he called after the heiress cheerfully. “We’ll see you tonight! It’s gonna be a ton of fun, I’m sure!” The young Gem paused in innocent confusion as he noticed the disgruntled looks that everyone, especially the girls, were giving him at this. “What?”

The Pines and the Gems had settled on waiting out the rain at the local taco joint, allowing them all to get some fast and cheap dinner before the mini-golf faceoff later that night. Well, everyone but Garnet and Pearl, at least, as Amethyst readily shoved her face with the huge load of tacos she had ordered, much to the white Gems’ absolute revulsion and the Gem leader’s usual apathy. Meanwhile, Mabel slumped against the table in something of a depression as she prompted Dipper to fed her nachos at consistent intervals. While she had been confident in her and Connie’s chances against Pacifica back at the golf course, the more she thought about it, the more she realized she wasn’t entirely sure if either of them really could beat her. After all, the heiress had an award winning-trainer on her side, and while Connie might have gone to mini-golf camp, all Mabel really had going for her was her own innate skill, which, if she was completely honest with herself, wasn’t as refined or sharpened as she wished it could be. After all, mini-golf was a fickle game of both dexterity as well as a good touch of luck. And if they ever wanted to win against adept heiress, then certainly they would need more than just a touch of that.

Still, while Mabel had mostly given up hope, Connie was doing anything but as she sat hunched over a small notebook, furiously scribbling notes down on it as Steven looked over her shoulder with apt confusion. “What are you doing?” he finally asked, unable to contain his curiosity any longer.

“Planning out our strategy,” Connie explained her pragmatic approach, still working fervently all the while. “I figure that if we map out the path and trajectory of each of our shots beforehand, then we’ll be able to anticipate any flukes and work around them beforehand. This always worked for me back at mini-golf camp, so it can’t fail now!”

“What’s the point?” Mabel spoke up with a fretful pout. “Pacifica’s got us as good as beat already. I guess it’s time to scratch mini-golf off my talents list…”

“Aw, don’t give up, Mabel!” Soos encouraged with a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah, if you guys beat Pacifica at this, then she can never rag on us again,” Dipper added reassuringly.

“And maybe you guys will get really cool mini-golf medals too!” Steven exclaimed brightly.

“I’m not in this for any medal,” Connie said, her tone rarely cold and harsh as much as it was resolved. “I’m in this because I want to finally put Pacifica in her place.”

“Sounds like as good a motivation as any,” Garnet remarked, crossing her arms.

“I agree,” Pearl nodded pointedly. “That girl is a horrid, vain, spoiled little brat, just like the rest of her family. If you ask me, she deserves far more than just being beaten in a simple game of mini-golf for those callous insults of hers.”

“More, huh?” Amethyst asked, a sly grin already crossing her face. “You know, whenever someone insults or ticks me or Stan off, there’s only one thing that always makes us feel better about it…”

“That’s right,” Stan cut in with an equally mischievous smirk. “And that thing is none other than a good, old-fashioned Revenge Trip.”

“Oh no, you two,” Pearl quickly spoke up in protest as Garnet shook her head. “I don’t care how awful that Northwest girl is! We are not about to indulge in one of your senseless romps of debauchery and depravity!”

“Aw, c’mon, P,” Amethyst groaned. “We’ll keep this lowkey and small, I promise!”

“Yeah, all we’re gonna do is scribble some graffiti on the wall of Northwest manor,” Stan shrugged apathetically. “That’s child play compared to our usual Revenge Trip fare.”

“Seriously, guys, what’s the problem with that?” Dipper asked the two dissenting Gems. “Pearl, you said so yourself: Pacifica has it a long time coming.”

“The problem is that it’s immoral and illegal!” Pearl exclaimed hotly.

“And we’re not doing it,” Garnet said firmly. “That’s final.”

Stan and Amethyst let out a shared sigh of frustrated disappointment as they both sunk in their seats a little. Fortunately though, Steven was quick to lighten with his usual optimism. “Well, I still think you guys can win!” he grinned to Mabel and Connie. “And I’m sure that if you both start thinking that for yourselves, then you really will win! It’s like magic!”

“Or just plain old positive thinking,” Dipper cut in with a small, amused smirk.

“You know what? You guys are right!” Mabel exclaimed, slamming her fist down on the table as her usual zeal returned. “We just need to get in a little more practice before midnight, and we’ll have this in the bag!”

“Oh yeah, practicing would be a great way for me to test out all these shots I have planned out…” Connie mused, looking over her complex notes.

“Go to the golf course after dark, you say?” Stan interjected with a wry grin.

“No one said-” Pearl attempted to say before Amethyst interrupted her.

“Oh man, that would be super dangerous,” the purple Gem remarked callously. “Not to mention ‘illegal’ and ‘immoral’.”

“Yeah, I mean, we’d have to break in…” Stan mused just as innocuously. “Not to mention—just kidding! Let’s break in!”

While Pearl certainly had wanted to object to the idea of sneaking into the golf course after hours, her protests were ultimately shut down as Stan and Amethyst overrode her, leading the charge with cheers of excitement as the conman’s car crashed through the course’s toll gate. As they made it to the empty parking lot, the Gems dismounted from their shared spot on top of the car to see the kids off along with Stan, while Soos kept watch in case any security happened to come by. Putting their breaking and entering skills to good use, Stan and Amethyst made easy work of the fence surrounding the course, allowing the kids easy, yet inconspicuous access inside.

“We’ll be waiting right out here for you kids when you’re done,” Pearl assured with a smile.

“Yeah, unless we actually do end up tagging Northwest Manor,” Amethyst remarked with a shrug. “Which, considering these two buzzkills we probably won’t.”

“Be careful in there, you four,” Garnet made sure to advise. “Oh, and Mabel, Connie, good luck.”

“Thanks, Garnet,” Connie nodded with a sincere smile.

“Oh, and Mabel? One more thing,” Stan spoke up, opening the sticker book his niece had just handed him to hold onto and pulling out one of the countless stickers. This one in particular had a shiny gold trophy on it, as well as the words “U Da Best” featured prominently. With a supportive smile, the conman put the sticker on Mabel’s sweater, sending her a confident wink as she returned it with a warm smile. “Knock her dead, kid.”

Mabel responded with a bold thumbs-up before heading in after Dipper, Steven, and Connie, intent on her mission of improving her skills in the short time they had left. Meanwhile, Stan and the Gems stood somewhat awkwardly outside of the fence after the kids had gone in, an awkward silence that was soon broken by Garnet, especially after she noticed the hopeful glances the conman and the purple Gem were sending her way. “We’re still not going to vandalize the mansion. No matter how many times you ask.”

“Aw…” the pair sighed, disgruntled over how their Revenge Trip ambitions for the evening were apparently not to be.

Mabel and Connie had taken no time at all breezing through the first 17 holes of the course, pretty much all of their shots resulting in effortless holes in one. Still, it was quite clear that the final hole, the windmill, was still proving to be a substantial problem for them both. This was proven once again as Mabel hit yet another ball through the windmill, only for it to end up barely missing the hole on the other side once again.

“Darn!” she shouted in apt frustration. “Poop heck darn!”

“Aw, and you were so close that time, Mabel!” Steven frowned, leaning down to measure the small increment of distance between the ball and the hole. “Only 0.2 inches away!”

“Ugh, that’s not good enough!” Mabel exclaimed with a disappointed huff. “Pacifica’s not going to be 0.2 inches away when she lands the perfect hole-in-one and beats us both while making fun of our fashion senses and proving that she’s way better than us at everything!”

“Hold on a minute, Mabel,” Connie interjected calmly as she stepped up to take her shot. “I think I finally have this one figured out…” With intent focus, she made sure to line up her shot as precisely as possible, angling her putter as she eyed the path she intended her ball to take. “Ok… 30˚ by 70 ˚…. Winds south by southwest… pull back and-” Letting out a deep, concentrated breath, Connie took her swing, watching with anticipation and hope that her well-thought out calculations would serve her well. And at first, it seemed like they would as the ball soared through the windmill, coming out the other end as it made a straight beeline for the hole. Yet in the end, it swerved to the side right at the last second, bouncing into the wall instead and ending up far from the hole. “Seriously?!” Connie asked with an aggravated scoff, putting her putter down. “Ugh, This is impossible!”

“I don’t get it,” Dipper frowned in bewilderment as he walked up to the windmill itself. “What’s wrong with this hole? It’s almost like-” He stopped short as he happened to catch onto a very faint, almost unnoticeable clanking noise coming from inside the structure. “Did you guys hear that?”

“Hear what?” Steven asked as him and the girls approached the windmill.

“Shh!” Dipper quickly cautioned, listening for the mysterious sound once more to ensure that it was indeed there. “Grab your clubs,” he whispered to the others, who were all quick to do so, seeing as how they had no idea what they were about to find. Still, the four of them advanced towards the windmill at a steady, careful pace, their clubs raised and ready for attack. After they all exchanged a round of terse nods, Dipper brazenly stepped up to the windmill, taking in a deep breath as the others raised their clubs even more before quickly pulling the structure’s back panel off. And upon seeing what it had been hiding, the kids were scarcely able to believe what they saw.

An entire city existed inside of the windmill, completely in miniature and decked out in a folksy Dutch motif. Still, the numerous tiny inhabitants of this city were even more bewildering. Also clad in traditional Dutch garb and clogs, they all appeared to be humanoid golf balls, with large, colorful dimpled heads and disproportionately petite bodies. These curious creatures worked within their small scale home merrily, though their usual activity was abruptly halted as they noticed the group of much larger kids hovering over them.

Alarmed by this intrusion, the golf ball race let out a round of terrified screams as they huddled together for safety. Likewise, the kids themselves were aptly startled by this strange discovery as they let out their own respective frightened cries, their putters still raised though they didn’t dare bring them down yet. This exchange of panicked screams continued for quite some time, until the kids collectively realized that these tiny creatures certainly couldn’t pose them any threat, prompting them all to tentatively lower their clubs.

The members of the golf ball race were quick to notice this sign of armistice as they began to calm themselves into silence, even if they remained close together just in case. “We good?” one of the petite people at the front of the group asked kids anxiously. While still incredible confused, they all nodded their assent. “All right then! Hi! Hello!” he greeted brightly. “I’m Franz, and welcome to our home!”

“What is all this?” Dipper asked, looking over the intricate mini-city with relative awe.

“Whatever it is, its adorable!” Steven quipped with a delighted smile. “Seriously, you guys are so cute!”

“Thank you, thank you,” Franz chuckled as several of the other golf ball people blushed at the compliment. “We know.”

“So, what are you guys?” Mabel asked with a frown. “Tiny humans or enormous mini-humans?”

“Neither,” Franz clarified with another laugh. “We’re the Lilliputtians! Lilli—Lilliputt—the name makes more sense written down. But anyway, we control the balls! Behold!”

At this cue, the panel on the side of the windmill flew open, revealing an incredibly complex system of levers and pullies, all of which served the purpose of moving any golf ball that went into the windmill through it. The Lilliputtians operated their machinery with skill, apt timing, and adorable cheerfulness, bright smiles on all their faces as they turned cracks, pressed buttons, and even let the ball bounce off them to help the ball along on its journey. And in the end, the ball shot cleanly out of the other side of the windmill before rolling straight into the hole as the kids all gasped in amazement.

“That’s incredible!” Mabel exclaimed with an awestruck grin.

“And so needlessly complicated,” Dipper added, bemused.

“It all makes perfect sense now!” Connie laughed, flipping through her now completely useless notes. “How could I have ever factored tiny living golf people into my equations? No wonder this hole was giving us such a hard time!”

“Yeah! I guess luck really has nothing to do with mini-golf after all,” Steven shrugged. “Instead, we can owe it all to these guys!”

“Aw shucks,” Franz gushed proudly. “This is only our life-long passion. Would you like us to elaborate through song?”

“Yes!” Steven passionately agreed, always more than happy to hear an upbeat musical number. The Lilliputtians complied as they took in a collective deep breath and prepared to sing their piece.

“Actually,” Dipper quickly interrupted. “We’re good.”

Disappointed just as much as the young Gem was, the Lilliputtians all sighed as they began to disperse, heading back to their various roles and stations within the windmill. “So what are you hugelings doing here anyway?” Franz asked the kids curiously.

“Well, we kinda have to play this mini-golf tournament against our rival, Pacifica,” Mabel explained, though she was quickly cut off before she could say anything else.

The Lilliputtians all gasped and began to mutter amongst themselves, their usually upbeat, cheerful mood souring upon hearing this. “Oh, we know all about rivals…” Franz glowered crossly.

“Put a clog in it, ya windmill-lubbers!” a bold voice called from the other side of the golf course. Startled, the kids turned to see the pirate ship hole suddenly light up, a group of Lilliputtians clad in pirate wear standing atop its deck as they sent hostile glares towards the windmill. “These frilly bottom popinjays are terrible at controllin’ the balls!” the pirate captain exclaimed, drawing his tiny sword. “We are the ball masters, says I! Argh!”

The other pirate Lilliputtians arghed in loud agreement, though their revelry was soon interrupted as the nearby Eiffel Tower lit up next, a group of French Lilliputtians clinging to it with snooty scowls. “Shut your mouths, you show-boating pirates! Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best!”

“Je ne sais quio! Sacrebleu! Au revoir!” one of the other French Lilliputtians added hotly.

“Stay your comments, ye churlish Frenchmen!” a knight Lilliputtian shouted from atop the castle hole. “None control the balls better than the knights of—Wiener Castle?” he paused, glancing down at the graffiti sprayed onto the castle wall. “Who wrote this?”

“We’ll settle which hole is best!” Franz challenged brazenly as him and his fellow Dutch Lilliputtians rushed forward. “Attack!”

“Ohh, I’m shiverin’ in me timbers!” the captain Lilliputtian mocked as the other pirates began to swing off their ship. “Get them!”

“Long live the mini-king!” the Lilliputtian head knight cried as him and his breather hurried to the fray, their little blades drawn and ready.

The kids could only stand and watch in surprised confusion as the various factions of the Lilliputtians collided in a violent, miniature battle at their feet. From dueling with swords and other blunt objects, to simply fighting first to fist, the small-scale violence that was unfolding was actually quite impressive. None of the golf-ball people held back against their respective foes, landing punches and blows that did sustain real damage and giving the kids quite a bewildering spectacle to behold.

“Yikes….” Connie remarked with a concerned frown. “You know, they never told us something like this would happen back at mini-golf camp. It’s… kinda weird…”

“Are you kidding? These guys are a riot!” Dipper laughed, fully amused by the rather comedic display.

“Aw, but they shouldn’t fight!” Steven exclaimed fretfully. “They’re too cute and small and folksy to be beating each other up like this!”

While Mabel agreed with this, she couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle herself as she decided to address the Lilliputtians in the hopes of quelling their brawl. “Guys, guys! Calm down! Your fighting is inadvertently adorable!”

“Adorable we are, hugeling, but our tale less so,” Franz said, lying on the ground battered and beaten just like the his fellow Lilliputtians. “Every hole in the park thinks they’re superior, from the cowboys in the east, to the grimy miners of the south. If only there was some way to decide which side is the best with maybe, an award… or like a trophy, I dunno.”

“But Franz, look!” another Lilliputtian gasped, pointing up at Mabel’s sweater. Or more specifically, the trophy sticker attached to it.

“The sticker!” Franz exclaimed, jumping to his feet zealously. “The sticker could decide!”

“It does say ‘ze best’ on it!” one of the Frenchmen Lilliputtians proclaimed.

“Decide for us, hugeling!” the head knight Lilliputtian demanded of Mabel. “Choose which mini-kingdom to give the sticker to, and end our war!”

All of the other Lilliputtians let out a unified cheer at this idea, every faction eyeing the sticker enviously as they all wanted to have it bestowed upon them. Still, despite their unanimous excitement, there was something of a discrepancy about it among the kids.

“Uh, I don’t know, you guys…” Mabel frowned, glancing down at her sticker apprehensively. “I’m not sure if we should get involved in your weird mini blood feud.”

“And besides!” Steven interjected with a smile. “You’re all so great that it would be like, impossible to decide!”

Clearly, the Lilliputtians were anything but appeased upon hearing this as they instead sent a cold glare the young Gem’s way. “Yeah… I don’t think that’s gonna cut it for them…” Connie muttered, taking in an apprehensive breath. “In fact, I’m pretty sure only one thing will…”

“Wait, you guys!” Dipper cut in, lowering his voice down to a whisper so the still arguing Lilliputtians couldn’t hear. “This is perfect! These guys control the course. Which means-”

“Which means if we have them on our side, then they can help us win!” Connie interrupted excitedly, having the exact same idea. “Not only could they help us both get perfect scores on every hole, but they could also sabotage every single one of Pacifica’s shots! It’s brilliant!”

“And all we have to do is tell them we’ll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win!” Dipper added with a satisfied grin. “It couldn’t get any easier!”

“Mm…. I don’t know how I feel about this plan, you guys…” Steven frowned hesitantly. “I mean, I feel we’d just be taking advantage of these poor little guys if we did that…”

“Oh come on, Steven,” Connie reassured. “They said so themselves, they live for this stuff. Besides, by picking one of these groups for them, then their little war will finally end and maybe they’ll start getting along with each other.”

“Eh, I’m still not sure…” Mabel remarked just as concerned with this plan of action as Steven was. “I wanna beat Pacifica just as much as you do, Connie, but doesn’t this seem like cheating?”

“Pacifica’s rich, Mabel,” Dipper pointed out dryly. “She’s cheating at life.”

“Hm…” Mabel mused, still not entirely convinced. Still, after a little more convincing from both Dipper and Connie, Mabel and Steven both tentatively jumped on board with the idea, even if they were both somewhat anxious about doing so, largely for moral reasons. Still, they kept their worries to themselves as they came to stand before the mass crowd of Lilliputtians, who had temporarily put their feud on hold to hear what the “hugelings” had to say. “People of the eighteen holes!” Mabel called to the golf ball people after Dipper used one of their tiny trumpets to bring them to attention. “We’re gonna have a game of mini-golf! And whoever does the best job helping me and Connie win gets the sticker!”

“So work hard and try your best!” Connie added encouragingly. “You all have the same chances of winning. Of course, special bonus points will be given to the group that ends up embarrassing Pacifica the most, so keep that in mind!”

“It’ll be us, lass! Not these tulip-munchers!” the captain Lilliputtian exclaimed, sending a snide glare Franz’ way.

“I will not be insulted by a man with no depth perception wearing earrings!” the Dutch Lilliputtian seethed hotly.

“Whoa there, you guys!” Steven interjected before another mini-war could break out. “Being mean to each other is no way to get that sticker.”

“Steven’s right,” Mabel nodded firmly. “Just remember, as long as you guys are helping us, no fighting.”

The Lilliputtians’ collective demeanor quickly changed upon hearing this as they all perked up, exchanging broad, convincing smiles with both each other and the kids as a sign that they were going to behave themselves. At least, that’s what their smiles said while they crossed fingers behind their backs told of the exact opposite. But as far as the golf ball race was concerned, the kids didn’t really need to know that. After all, none of that would matter once the best among them was finally decided upon once and for all.

True to their word, Stan, Soos, and the Gems had remained in the otherwise empty parking lot to wait for the kids to return. Since the conman’s car didn’t have a great deal of space in it, the Gems had kept their place sitting on top of it, all of them quite bored as they waited in relative silence. Meanwhile, inside of the vehicle, Soos was hard at work with his scissors, snipping carefully along the dotted line he had drawn onto his tee shirt.

“Dude, I’m cutting W’s into all my shirts,” the handyman remarked to his disinterested boss. “Gotta give the public what they want.”

“Well, those kids sure are taking their time,” Stan mused, glancing out his rear-view window towards the course. “Looks like it’s gonna be a while.” The conman turned the radio onto a relaxing station as Soos took off his shirt to be able to work on its neck easier. With a laid back sigh, Stan reclined his seat back, closing his eyes to take a short nap. Still, before he could, he opened his eyes once again to see Soos, still shirtless, reclined in his seat next to him with a coy smile.

“Sure are a lot of stars out tonight…” the handyman remarked casually.

“Welp, this is getting weird,” Stan quickly concluded, instantly sitting up in his seat to get out of the awkward moment.

Meanwhile, on top of the car, the Gems were still encompassed in their ongoing silence as Garnet meditated and Pearl quietly stargazed. Amethyst, on the other hand, was nowhere near as appeased as she let out a long, exasperated groan. “Ugh, this is so boring, I could shatter!” she flopped down onto her stomach, sprawling out as much as she could considering the limited amount of space. “And to think, we could be smearing paint all over that dumb old mansion’s walls right now…”

“Amethyst, one day you’re going to learn that petty acts of vengeance get you nowhere,” Pearl said rationally.

“Oh yeah? When?” the purple Gem asked sardonically. “Cause it’s totally not today.”

Pearl let out a disgruntled sigh upon hearing this, looking to Garnet to reprimand Amethyst, though the Gem leader as completely silent as she maintained her relaxed, stoic focus. It was around this time that a long white limo pulled up not too far away from the conman’s car, one that clearly belonged to the Northwests based on its elegance and expensiveness alone. And inside of it, Pacifica’s parents were just finishing up imparting their daughter with something of a “pep talk” for her upcoming competition.

“Now just remember, Pacifica,” Preston began authoritatively. “Winning is everything.”

“Oh, and also looks,” Priscilla added as she used a small mirror to help her apply her copious lipstick. “Winning and looks.”

“Dad, relax,” Pacifica assured her father. “I’ve been practicing for like, a million hours, ok? I’ve got this. You’ll stay and watch, right?”

“Pacifica, darling,” Preston scoffed almost patronizingly. “Of course we can’t stay! We have a party to go to. We’ll just read about your victory in the paper tomorrow.”

The heiress frowned somewhat upon hearing this, but even so, she quickly shrugged the disappointment off. She was used to it by now, anyway. “Right,” she said diffidently as she got out of the car. “Sergei!” she snapped her fingers, prompting her trainer to emerge from the trunk of the limo as he grabbed her set of expensive golf clubs.

“Oh, and Pacifica?” Preston called to his daughter through the limo’s open window before she could head inside the course. “Whatever happens just remember one thing. You’re a Northwest. Don’t lose.”

Despite the relative harshness of this command, Pacifica nodded stiffly nonetheless before turning on her heel and making her way towards the course with Sergei trailing behind her. Surprisingly, she didn’t have any more insulting remarks for Stan, Soos, or the Gems as she sauntered past them, but that didn’t mean her parents didn’t.

“Oh, Priscilla, would you look at that?” Preston remarked mockingly, still peeking out the window as he dryly regraded the Gems. “The so called ‘Crystal’ Gems are so poor that they can’t even afford their own vehicle! Instead they have to be taxied around on top of the beaten down old car of some no-account carnival barker!”

“How embarrassing,” Priscilla laughed haughtily as her husband joined in.

While the Gems themselves were quite incensed upon hearing these scathing remarks, no one was more offended than Stan as he gripped the steering wheel of his car tightly. “Did… did he just insult my Diablo?!” he asked, completely appalled. The old vehicle happened to sputter a little at this juncture, prompting Stan to rub the steering wheel with tender affection. “Shh, baby, I know. Who cares what he says? He’s a rich, pompous jerk who deserves a good punch in the face.”

“Tell us about it,” Garnet muttered, her tone genuinely cross and hostile as she was finally broken out of her meditation.

“You know, it’s almost worth an ounce of pity,” Preston said to his wife, still smirking goadingly. “But instead, it’s just hilarious. I almost feel bad that our daughter has to wallow amongst such common filth for even a few hours. The sooner she wins this little competition the better.”

The wealthy couple shared another teasing laugh as the limo began to drive off, leaving the aptly enraged Gems and conman behind. Needless to say they were all infuriated, especially after hearing the Northwests indirectly insult the kids, even over them. Which was why, despite her earlier qualms, Pearl had no qualms about addressing both Stan and Amethyst with a very simple, very pointed question. “So what was that plan you two had about vandalizing their mansion again?”

“Now you’re talkin’!” Stan exclaimed with a daring grin, already throwing his car into reverse.

“Woo!” Amethyst cheered, jumping to her feet, though she fell right back into Garnet’s lap as the conman’s car lurched forward. Still, she hardly cared as she let out a rowdy laugh, one that Stan readily shared as the entire group sped off, their vengeful mission clear. “Revenge Trip! Revenge Trip! Revenge Trip!”

Pacifica strode into the mini-golf course with the upmost confidence, already completely assured over her victory before the game even began. After all, there was no way either Mabel or Connie could hope to beat her. With her well-bought and well-refined skill, the heiress knew that her triumph would only be a matter of a few easy, perfect shots.

“How much you wanna bet they’re no-shows?” Pacifica asked Sergei, only to immediately be proven wrong. The heiress and her trainer quickly spun around as an array of floor lights flashed on in quick succession, leading the way to Mabel, Connie, Dipper, and Steven as they stood already waiting to begin at the first hole.

“Hi!” Steven called, as friendly as always, though Connie was quick to shush him. “Oh, that’s right! I forgot. Serious,” he huffed, forcing his smile away and into a harsh, stoic expression instead.

“Looking for someone?” Mabel asked Pacifica with a knowing smirk.

“Waiting in the dark, not creepy at all,” the heiress rolled her eyes as she approached her rivals.

“We figured we’d get here early since we’re gonna be leaving early to celebrate once we win,” Connie retorted smoothly.

“Oh sure,” Pacifica deadpanned. “Just keep telling yourselves that. Seriously though, I don’t know why you bothered to come. Unless you’ve got something up your sleeves.”

“Oh, I guess you could say we’ve got a little something…” Mabel remarked innocently enough. Their cover was nearly blown however, as a Lilliputtian happened to poke its head out of her sweater sleeve briefly, prompting her to quickly shove it back inside before Pacifica could see. The kids all simply played it off with a nervous laugh, one that the heiress barely regarded as she checked over her nails.

“So are we gonna play mini-golf or what?” Pacifica asked, her tone already quite bored. “Because the sooner we get this over with, the sooner we won’t have to talk to each other anymore.”

“Sounds like as good of a reason as any to get started,” Dipper remarked with a sardonic smirk. Pacifica sent him an aggravated scoff upon hearing her own insult be thrown right back her, but even so, she simply shrugged it off as her, Mabel, and Connie faced off at the center of the course.

“Eighteen holes,” Sergei began, outlining the competition. “Standard rules. Winner lives in glory. Loser wallows in eternal shame. On you mark, get set… mini-golf!”

And on this command, the mini-golf match began. From the first hole alone, Mabel and Connie were able to easily tell that their deal with the Lilliputtians was going to serve them quite nicely. Pacifica’s very first shot ended up being a dud as the cowboy Lilliputtians moved the small covered wagon on the green over a bit so that it blocked the ball’s path, much to the heiress’s shock and frustration. However, the Lilliputtians were quick to oblige by shooting Mabel’s undershoot ball into the hole, and lassoing the ball that Connie shot back into it. As the group moved on, the girls made sure to show their gratitude to the cowboys with shared thumbs up, something that did not go unnoticed by the pirate Lilliputtians on the next hole. Determined to one-up the competition, they shot both of the girl’s shoots easily through the ship’s canons, blasting them both straight into the hole. Appalled by this, Pacifica took her turn, only for the pirates to shoot it right back at her, something that completely bewildered her seeing as how she knew nothing of the miniature people manipulating the entire game behind the scenes. Of course, both Mabel and Connie were reveling over the massive lead they had both gotten over Pacifica even at such an early point in the game. Neither of them cared so much about who one in the end, as long as it was one of them and not the heiress. If they could only see her eat her cold words in light of her agonizing defeat, then it would all be worth it in the end.

The next hole that the group came up to was rather simplistic, set up with a miner aesthetic and only one mere obstacle to overcome. Certainly it would be barely even a challenge for Mabel and Connie with the Lilliputtians on their side. “Heh, miner hole,” Dipper chuckled as him and Steven watched Mabel take her shot. “I wonder what cute, silly things go on down there.”

“I bet they have so much fun singing and using tiny pickaxes to move the ball around,” Steven remarked, beaming as the ball rolled into the mine entry. “I wish we could see it!”

The ball made its usual route down the chute into the mines below as two Lilliputtian miners met its cart and prepared to transport it into the shaft. However, before they could, a prospector Lilliputtian hurried to block their way in. “Stop! You can’t go in there! There’s been a gas leak! Anyone who goes in there will die!”

The miners gasped in fearful shock upon hearing this dreadful news, but their concerned whispers were soon silenced as a large, burly Lilliputtian miner broke through the crowd. “I’ll take it,” he volunteered boldly, yet stoically.

Immediately, a cry of distressed protest rung out from the observing crowd as a small Lilliputtian girl rushed forward, tears in her eyes as she embraced the much larger miner. “No! Don’t go, Big Henry! We need you!”

“Go home, Polly,” Big Henry instructed firmly, gently pushing Polly back towards the others. With a resolve of iron, Big Henry began his journey, pushing the mine cart carrying the ball into the dangerous mine as the others all watched him go in solemn, morose silence. Upon entering the mine, Big Henry was already struggling to breathe amidst the seeping toxic fumes, but even so, he kept going, determined to complete this for the honor of his people.

Of course, the group outside was completely unaware of this as they all awaited the ball to emerge on the other side of the mine. Mabel and Connie took in a shared anxious breath as Pacifica checked her watch, while Dipper and Steven exchanged a confused glance, silently wondering if something had gone wrong down below.

Yet sure enough, Big Henry trudged on steadily, growing weaker and weaker with each passing second to the point that his consciousness was quickly fading. “Come on, Big Henry!” he shouted to himself, slapping himself to stay away. “You can do this!” And sure enough, he did do it. As the miner made it to the end of the seemingly endless shaft, he struggled to push the button that would send the ball back to the surface, but he did it nonetheless, collapsing to the ground in exhaustion shortly thereafter. In his final moments, Big Henry’s eyes filled with tears as he pulled out a picture Polly had drawn for him of the two of them. The simply memento brought a small smile to the dying miner’s face, one that gradually faded as he let out a tired groan before his body went limp. Still, his death was not in vain as the ball rose up from the mine and propelled gracefully into the hole on the other side.

“What?!” Pacifica gasped in angry shock, throwing her putter in a fit of rage as Sergei skillfully caught it. “Sergei! Soda! Now!”

As soon as the heiress and her trainer were gone, Mabel wasted no time in lifting up the mine cover to reveal the anxiously awaiting Lilliputtians inside. “Ok, you guys, that was bedokulous!” she exclaimed with an overjoyed smile.

“Yeah! You guys really know how to build up some great suspense!” Steven added enthusiastically.

“We were worried there for a minute, but you guys really came through,” Connie nodded contentedly. “Great job!”

“Hey, you know what? Little high-fives for everyone!” Dipper offered, lowering his finger down to their level so each of the miners could high-five it in celebration. “Nice one! You did it! You’re the man!”

“I don’t wanna call it out early, but…” Mabel began, smiling broadly. “I think the miners might have one of these in their future!” She pointed to her sticker, which of course sent a round of triumphant cheers throughout the miners, something that the Dutch Lilliputtians were quick to catch onto.

“Are you kidding me?!” Franz exclaimed in frustration after observing this display from the windmill’s small telescope. “After everything we’ve worked for?!”

“Calm yourself, Franz,” another Lilliputtian assured. “There may be another way to win the hugelings’ favor. Knock on wood.” At this, both of them knocked on their clogs before leaping into working on their daring plan to achieve superiority.

Meanwhile, Pacifica sat on the bench near the vending machine with a bitter scowl as Sergei retrieved her a soda. She accepted it with a petulant huff, her foot tapping in frustration as she vented to her trainer. “There’s something going on, Sergei, I can feel it.”

“Maybe they have little people who control where the balls go,” Sergei suggested with a shrug.

“Hoo, we gotta get you English lessons,” Pacifica remarked, raising an eyebrow at the zaniness of that idea. “But seriously, think about it. I’m globally ranked. I’ve won countless awards! It’s ridiculous that those two nobodies are beating me!” The heiress scoffed harshly as she opened her can of soda, completely unaware of the tiny figures darting through the bushes behind her as she took a sip before coughing out its iconic pit. “Ugh, Pitt Cola! I always forget about the pit. Get me a different one, Sergei!”

The trainer went to go do so, leaving Pacifica to seethe by herself. However, she was only made aware that someone else was nearby as a small hand reached out from the shrubs and tapped her lightly on the shoulder. Confused, the heiress slightly turned, only to be tightly grabbed by multiple sets of small hands. She screamed in surprised panic as the hands yanked her into the shrubbery with a surprising amount of force, all before Sergei could make it back. When the trainer did return, he immediately dropped the soda he was holding upon noticing that the heiress had inexplicably gone missing. “This is bad.”

It had taken almost no time at all for Stan, Soos, and the Gems to gather all of the necessary supplies they would need for their miniature Revenge Trip. Armed just a sizable horde of spray paint in the trunk, they hurried to Northwest Manor, with Stan speeding the entire time and Pearl just barely able to hold her tongue about it.

Seeing as how the conman and the purple Gem were Revenge Trip masters, they took the lead in this mission. Knowing that avoiding getting caught was of the upmost importance, the had Garnet take out the nearby security cameras first, which she did skillfully so. From there, the Gem leader continued to keep watch as the vandalism began.

“So…. What exactly are we supposed to be writing with this?” Pearl asked with a confused frown.

“Anything that’ll tick those stuffy Northwests off,” Amethyst shrugged as she began scribbling the words “Rich Prudes” onto the wall.

“Think you can actually come up with something clever, Pearl?” Stan asked with a teasing smirk as he finished his first tag: “Go Northwest to Loser Town”. “Or do you need a little help from the pros?”

“Please,” the white Gem scoffed, aiming her can towards the wall. “I’m sure I can think of something scathing enough to make those Northwests-” Pearl let out a sharp gasp as she accidently sprayed a single line of paint onto the wall, dropping her can as she looked over the minimal vandalism she had done with wide eyes.

“Oh boy…” Stan sighed in slight exasperation as he exchanged a dry frown with Amethyst. “Told you she wasn’t cut out for this.”

“I-I am too cut out for it!” Pearl protested earnestly, reclaiming her can.

“Oh yeah? Then prove it!” Amethyst challenged. “Write the meanest, harshest, craziest thing you can think of on there! Go wild!”

The white Gem paused as she looked between the wall and the paint can in her hands once more as a small, brazen smirk crossed her face. “Go wild, hm?”

“How’s this, Mr. Pines?” Soos interjected as he finished graffitiing his space. Stan overlooked his work, instantly letting out another disgruntled sigh as he did so.

“You’re not supposed to write your name, Soos,” the conman pointed out, nodding to what the handyman wrote: “You dudes are mean, love Soos”. “The point is to not get caught doing this, remember?

“Oh right!” Soos exclaimed innocently, not well versed in the practice of vandalism himself. “Well, I can fix that!” With only a few more lines, the handyman “fixed” his mistake by adding the word “not” in front of his name. “Is that better?”

“Sure, Soos,” Stan said with a small, amused chuckle. “That’ll throw ‘em off, for sure.”

“Alright…. I’d say I’m… done!” Pearl proclaimed with a proud smile before stepping aside so everyone could see her work. Her tag was quite long, but even so, it was impressive, not only in how elegant the writing was, but in the white Gem’s choice of words as well: “Snobbish, self-entitled, greedy, supercilious, upper crust, corrupted, coldhearted, thoughtless, rude, arrogant elitists!”

“Whoa… P! You just thrashed them!” Amethyst gasped with a huge smile.

“You really think so?” Pearl asked. “Are you sure its not overkill?”

“Oh, it’s definitely overkill,” Garnet cut in, glancing over her shoulder at what the white Gem had written. “But in this case, it’s the best kind of overkill.”

“Seriously,” Stan agreed with a hearty laugh. “I’d love to see those Northwests try and buy their way outta this kind of embarrassment!”

The group exchanged a round of genuine laughter at this, though it was abruptly cut short as an alarm started to blare from behind the outer wall. “Aw man! We should have figured they’d have some kind of alarm rigged up!” Amethyst exclaimed with a scowl.

“W-what do we do?!” Pearl asked, startled by this sudden turn of events.

“What we always do when things start turning south!” Stan asserted as he began running for the car along with Amethyst. “Bail!”

Soos wasn’t too far behind the two of them, and while Pearl remained in stunned silence at this tactic for a moment or two, Garnet was quick to help her wits return to her. “You heard him. It’s time to bail.”

“R-right…” the white Gem said with relative uncertainty, but even so, she hurried along, hopping on top of the conman’s car along with her teammates. As they always did after every successful Revenge Trip, Stan turned the car radio up all the way as Amethyst let her hair blow wild and free in the whipping breeze. Caught up in this spirit of revelry, Soos took the shirt he had been working on turning into another W-neck off and let it hang out the window, while Garnet reclined casually atop the roof with a satisfied smile. Pearl was the last to join in on the fun, but when she did, it was in the form of a burst of laughter she was scarcely able to contain, one that the others were all quick to catch. In no time at all, the entire car was rattling with their shared joyous chuckles as they rode off into the night, their success secured, even if it was a small one. Still, for all of them, it certainly felt momentous.

Since Pacifica was taking quite a bit of time in returning to the game, the kids decided to work on tallying up everyone’s scores in the meantime. Not that they really needed to of course; after all, it was beyond clear that Mabel and Connie, as tied as their scores were, were going to completely trump Pacifica, no contest. As long as things continued the way they were going, then in just a few more holes, that sweet victory would finally be sealed.

“Oh man, it’s gonna be so great once we beat Pacifica,” Connie said with a vindictive smile, casually balancing her putter atop her hand for fun. “After all the times she’s insulted us and made us miserable, it’s about time she sees what that misery is like for herself.”

“I know, right?” Dipper asked with an eager grin. “I can’t wait to see the look on her face when we win. I’m thinking it’ll be like: ‘ugh!’” At this, he twisted his expression into a disgruntled scowl, one that was befitting of the heiress herself. “You know how she does that? ‘Ugh!’”

“Oh my gosh, that’s totally what she does!” Connie laughed, though the levity was soon interrupted by Steven.

“Uh, you guys? I still don’t know if what we’re doing here is… ok,” the young Gem said with a concerned frown. “I mean, it’s great that we’re winning, but can we really even call it winning if the mini-golf guys are doing all the work for us?”

“Don’t worry about that, Steven,” Dipper reassured with a wave of his hand. “After all, Pacifica doesn’t know about all this, so it’s not like it really matters in the grand scheme of things.”

“Dipper’s right,” Connie nodded. “Besides, winning is still winning, no matter how you look at it. So what if we needed a little help to get this far? Pacifica has a personal trainer helping her out. So really, what we’re doing is just a matter of evening the playing field.”

“Don’t you mean the putting green?” Mabel cut in with a small, joking smirk.

“Oh! I see what you did there!”

The kids shared a laugh over this, though it soon fizzled out as Mabel glanced down somewhat anxiously. “Guys? Is it bad that I feel good about Pacifica feeling bad?”

“Just enjoy your victory, Mabel,” Dipper encouraged, wrapping an arm around his sister’s shoulder. “Trust me; Pacifica will be fine.”

No sooner had he finished saying this however, then the conversation was curtailed as a rather familiar scream rang through the golf course. Startled, the kids all turned towards its source at the windmill, only to find Pacifica tightly tied up on the ground in front of it, courtesy of the Dutch Lilliputtians who stood guard over her. “What’s going on here!?” she exclaimed, struggling to break free from her bonds. “Let me go, you little creeps!”

The kids all let out a shared gasp of shock at this surprising turn of events, but even so, the Lilliputtians hardly noticed their alarm as Franz stepped up to them with a blithe smile. “Welcome, kids! Welcome!” he greeted cheerfully, as though him and his brethren weren’t holding the heiress hostage. “I can tell you’re loving this, right? Right?”

“What are you guys doing?!” Mabel asked with apt concern.

“Why did you tie Pacifica up?” Steven questioned, rather confused. “You know we can’t really finish the game without her, right?”

“Well, we could,” Connie noted with a shrug. “It just means she’d forfeit. Which would make things a lot easier, actually.”

“Like I’d ever do that!” Pacifica scoffed, still as haughty as ever, despite the apparent peril she was in.

“Still,” Dipper cut in adamantly. “This wasn’t part of the deal, tiny Dutchman!”

“Ok, but get this,” Franz attempted to appeal. “We saw you were favoring the minors, so we figured, what’s better than beating Pacifica? Killing her! Am I right?”

“As if!” the heiress exclaimed hotly, still trying to get free from the tight ropes wrapped around her. “I’m calling my parents. Where’s my phone?” Pacifica glanced over as much as she could to see that the Lilliputtians had managed to snatch her phone away and were in the process of texting insults to her friends on it. “Hey! Hey!”

“So how about it now, Hugelings?” Franz asked the kids with a confident smile. “Who’s ‘da best’ now?”

“Not so fast, land lubbers!” the pirate captain Lilliputtian interrupted from the ship before the kids could even hope to interact. However, as they turned towards the pirate group, the let out another unified gasp upon seeing that they had kidnapped Sergei and had likewise tied him up as they forced him to stand at the edge of the plank. “If yer going to play dirty, so are we. Now give us the sticker or he walks the plank!”

“No! Give us ze sticker!” the French Lilliputtians protested.

“The miners!” said group of Lilliputtians ran up frantically. “Give it to the miners!”

By now, every faction of Lilliputtians had worked themselves up into a heated frenzy, all of them clamoring for the exact same thing: the sticker and the honor it would bestow upon whoever received it. The kids looked to each other with growing dread as this conflict started showing signs of violent once more, all four of them knowing that the pressure was on to finally make a decision between them. However, in the end Mabel was the one to break through the rumble of angry shouts and threats.

“Enough!” she exclaimed boldly, catching the attention of every single Lilliputtian as their fighting came to an abrupt halt. “You know what? No one gets the sticker!”

An immediate ripple of disappointment filtered through the crowd of golf ball people, though a single French Lilliputtian shared their common sentiment quite nicely. “Sacre boo!” He shouted as all of the others were quick to join in on the disgruntled jeer.

“No, no boing!” Mabel shook her head as she took the sticker off her sweater and held it high out of their reach. “No one gets the sticker because you’re all being jerks!”

“Why can’t you all just try getting along?” Steven asked with a pleading grin. His suggestion, however, was very quickly shot down.

“Because we hate each other!”

“That’s kind of how rivalries work.”

“Well maybe… maybe rivalries are dumb!” Mabel proclaimed, a hint of realization entering her tone, especially as she happened to steal a glance over at Pacifica. “Maybe you don’t settle them with petty competitions. Maybe the only way to be ‘da best’ is by ending the fighting and working together!” With her point clearly made, she promptly crumbled the sticker up before shoving it into her mouth and swallowing it whole in clear view of all of the shocked Lilliputtians. Appalled as they were by the loss of their prize, however, they somehow didn’t go into an all out riot. At least not at first.

“It’s all so clear…” one of the Dutch Lilliputtians mused thoughtfully.

“If we work together…” Franz trailed off before the pirate captain picked it up.

“Then we can cut open her belly and get the sticker!” he shouted, holding his small sword aloft. All of the other Lilliputtians let out a unified cheer at this violent plan, their hatred towards each other dissolved as it had found a new target instead.

“W-well this definitely took an unexpected turn!” Connie exclaimed fearfully as her and the others all backed away from the charging Lilliputtians.

“Uh, you guys really aren’t appreciating the lesson here!” Mabel tried to appeal to them once more, only for them to continue their aggressive pursuit. This unfolding chaos was soon broken through though, as Pacifica let out another frightened scream. Apparently, the Dutch Lilliputtians had pulled a lever that worked to push the conveyor belt the heiress was tired to towards the windmill. To make matters worse, the windmill blades were whirling at a deadly speed, putting Pacifica in even more peril that she was already in.

“We gotta get out of here!” Dipper urged, just as ready to flee as Connie and Steven both were.

“We have to save Pacifica first!” Mabel protested earnestly, nodding the heiress’s way.

“Ok, but think about it,” Connie interjected, not as ready and willing to let Pacifica’s past cruelty go as easily as Mabel apparently was. “Do we really have to save her?”

“Yes!” Mabel exclaimed as though it were obvious as she grabbed Connie’s wrist to pull her along. “Come on!”

As the girls raced off, the boys were more than set to provide them with backup, though before they could, they were halted by Sergei’s fearful cry as he started teetering off of the pirate ship’s plank and towards the pond below. “Ah! Mister Dipper! Mister Steven! Niet! Niet!”

“Don’t freak out, man!” Dipper advised. “The water’s shallow! There’s literally no way you could drown.” Of course, no more than a second later, the trainer finally did fall into the pond, and face first at that as he immediately started to take in water. “Seriously?” Dipper asked with disgruntled disbelief.

“We should probably save him,” Steven noted, already hurrying to go do so.

“Right…” Dipper agreed, following not too far behind.

Meanwhile, the girls made good use of their respective athletic skills as they managed to push their way through the clamoring crowd of Lilliputtians. Connie made sure to clear them a path by knocking several of the golf ball creatures aside with her putter as Mabel started scaling a nearby lamp post to get on higher ground. Connie was quick to follow her up, and after making sure that the Lilliputtians could not follow them, both girls used the hanging string of lights above to swing their way towards the windmill, all while narrowly avoiding the tiny pencils the golf ball people were lobbing towards them the entire time. Upon making it to the windmill mound, Mabel got to work on untying Pacifica as Connie stood guard, swinging any Lilliputtian that got too close for comfort away.

“Ugh, took you long enough,” the heiress complained as Mabel started undoing the knotted ropes. “And watch the earrings. They’re worth more than your house.”

“You know, I kinda figured this was a bad idea,” Connie mused dryly after having knocking away another Lilliputtian. “And it’s looking like I was kinda right about that.”

“Yeah… pretty much,” Mabel agreed, pulling her hands away as she gave Pacifica a critical frown. “Maybe we just won’t untie you then.”

“No! Untie me! Untie me!” Pacifica demanded frantically.

“That’s what we thought,” Mabel smirked as she finished losing the ropes. Finally free, the heiress quickly scrambled to stand, though the girls hardly had a moment to breathe easy as Connie found herself pushed back by the sheer number of Lilliputtians crowded around the windmill.

“We have you at miniature pencil point!” the pirate captain growled, holding said mini-pencil up threateningly. “There’s no way around us!”

At this integral juncture, instead of worrying for their chances, all three of the girls exchanged almost amicable, yet certainly confident smirks. Sure, Mabel was much more content to work together with Pacifica than Connie was, but still, none of that mattered now as they prepared to face off against their tiny foes. “You guys ready to putt?” Mabel asked daringly.

“Always ready,” Connie nodded, her expression serious as she drew her putter back like a sword.

“Way ahead of you,” Pacifica added, reclaiming her club as Mabel handed it to her.

Without any further ado, the girls began their decisive strike. Not paying much mind to aim or accuracy, all three of them stood back to back as they started whacking any Lilliputtian their clubs managed to make contact with. Despite the danger they were in, it was admittedly exhilarating for three mini-golf masters such as themselves to be using their skills for something this intense.

“You know,” Pacifica called to Mabel and Connie amidst their barrage of swings. “You two actually aren’t that terrible. A little rusty, but-”

“Shut up and putt!” Mabel shouted, too caught up in the moment to care about such sentiments now. Pacifica did so, sending just as many Lilliputtians flying as Mabel and Connie were. As fast as they were swinging, they were succeeding in thinning through the golf ball race’s massive numbers, to the point that sure enough, they had cleared all of the immediate ones away. And just in time too, as Dipper and Steven soon pulled up in the course’s golf cart, with the rescued Sergei in tow.

“Get on!” Dipper exclaimed to the girls urgently, knowing that more Lilliputtians were hot on their tail.

“Where did you guys find a golf cart?” Connie asked, somewhat bewildered as her, Mabel, and Pacifica climbed aboard.

“Well, Dipper says we’re just borrowing it,” Steven began with a fretful frown. “But considering all of the other iffy things we’ve done tonight, I’m pretty sure we’re just gonna end up stealing it.”

“Steal, borrow, same thing,” Dipper shrugged, unconcerned.

“Who cares?!” Mabel cut in as she spotted a crowd of Lilliputtians charging for them. “Just gun it!”

Dipper did just that, flooring the cart’s gas pedal as the vehicle lurched forward. The others all hung on for dear life as the cart swerved past the obstacles and traps the Lilliputtians had put in their way, including a row of axes that they only narrowly sped past. On their way towards the exit, they were forced into a loop-de-loop obstacle on one of the holes, something that the kids were all able to hold onto for, though Sergei unfortunately right off the back of the cart.

“Sergei overboard!” the trainer cried as the kids zoomed on without him.

“I’ll get a new one,” Pacifica concluded, knowing it would be far too risky to go back for him now.

Still, as they finally made a beeline for the gate, it was clear that the Lilliputtians weren’t about to give up their sought-after sticker that easily. Pooling their numbers and efforts together, the golf ball people piled on top of each other, giving them enough height and strength to start pushing the course’s gates closed in the hopes of barring any form of escape.

“U-uh oh! They’re not gonna let us leave!” Steven exclaimed fearfully.

“Well we can’t just stop now!” Dipper argued, not slowing the cart down at all.

“Don’t worry! We’ve got this!” Connie assured, exchanging a determined nod with Mabel. Not wasting a beat, both girls quickly climbed onto the roof, clubs in hand as they prepared to fend this final obstacle off. However, before they could, they were suddenly stopped by a voice from behind.

“Don’t even think about it,” Franz said coldly, prompting both girls to turn around and look down at him. “You two call yourselves golfers? Without us, that club is useless in your hands!”

“Oh yeah?” Mabel asked with a challenging grin. “Then what’s ten minus six?”

“Ten minus-” Franz paused, caught off guard by this question as he began counting on his fingers. “Wait… hang on…”

“Fore!” both girls shouted in bold unison, swinging their clubs together in perfect timing. Their shot rang true, striking Franz hard and sending him flying right into the nearby bonus hole. The hole’s decorative volcano erupted vibrantly as the golf cart sped up it, giving the vehicle just the speed boost it needed to sail over the last crowd of Lilliputtians and through the nearly shut gates just before they closed. The cart came to a skidding halt in the parking lot, mere seconds after Stan, Soos, and the Gems pulled up, having just narrowly returned from their impromptu Revenge Trip. Considering the fact that the kids had escaped them, the Lilliputtians were quite enraged as they threw mini-pencils and even a spare ax over the fence, sending threats at the group the entire time.

“And stay out, you dumb hugelings!” Franz shouted harshly from the other side of the gate.

“What did you say, you little trolls?” Pacifica asked hotly, getting out of the cart and storming over to the fence. “I will sue you!” She slammed her fist into the gate, an outraged scowl on her face. “I will sue you and I will own you!”

“Yeesh,” Dipper remarked dryly to the others upon seeing this petty outburst. “I feel sorry for whatever poor sap ends up dating her in the future.”

While they were still sitting atop the conman’s car, the Gems, Garnet in particular, happened to overhear this comment, and for whatever reason, it elicited an amused chuckle from the Gem leader. “What’s so funny?” Pearl asked with a confused frown.

“You’ll get it eventually,” Garnet smirked, letting out another small laugh as she adjusted her shades.

“You four!” Pacifica scowled crossly as she spun around to face the rest of the group. “I don’t know what you did or what’s going on, but if you think just because you saved my life, I’d-”

The heiress was cut off, her unfinished rant left hanging as she noticed the sticker Mabel was handing her, one that featured a cat and read “I a-paw-logize”. “I’m sorry, Pacifica…” Mabel frowned with genuine remorse. “We shouldn’t have cheated. You totally would have beaten us, fair and square, right Connie?”

“No,” Connie said coldly, only to change her stance upon receiving disapproving looks from both Mabel and Steven. And while she did put forth something of an effort to be amicable, it was clear that she still harbored a good bit of resentment for the heiress, even after everything they had been through. “I mean…. Yeah, maybe,” she paused for a moment, lowering her voice down to a mutter for her next statement. “If you got lucky or something.”

Pacifica’s glower deepened a little upon hearing this, but she actually decided not to fire any glaring retorts back this time as she instead but the sticker on her top. “Whatever,” she remarked with her usual haughty air. “You’re just lucky this sticker looks fantastic on me.”

“Hey, kids!” Stan shouted somewhat impatiently from the car. “Are we heading home or not? Cause I’d rather do that sooner than later if we are!”

“Yeah, especially if any cops are on our tails…” Amethyst whispered discreetly, though Pearl let out an alarmed gasp at this.

“C-cops?!” she asked, looking to Garnet worriedly. “We’re not going to get arrested for that t-tiny bit of vandalism, are we?”

“Mmm… probably not,” the Gem leader replied with a shrug.

Without needing much further prompting, Steven, Dipper, and Connie all made their way towards the car, climbing into the back. Mabel, however, hesitated for a brief moment before she got in, especially as she looked back to Pacifica, who was still standing near the gates of the park, glaringly alone. Conflicted, Mabel looked to the others, taking note of the fact that Steven gave her a small, supportive smile while both Dipper and Connie were shaking their heads in disapproval over the idea they both knew she had. Still, that really didn’t stop her from going through with it anyway.

“Hey!” she called to Pacifica. “Your parents aren’t here yet. Want a ride home?”

“Ugh, please,” the heiress quickly rejected with a bitter scoff. “As if I’d ever ride in your-” She was quickly interrupted, however, but an abrupt burst of thunder, followed by a flash of lightning in the skies overhead. Knowing that she really didn’t have any other options, Pacifica let out a sigh of defeat as she trudged towards the car, somehow managing to squeeze into the back (albeit uncomfortably so) along with the other four kids. While Stan’s car was far beyond its safe carrying capacity, especially with the Gems still riding on the roof, the conman hardly cared as he began to drive away from the golf course. Instead, him and Soos sang a short little ditty about driving while the car careened down the road, while on the roof, the noise of Amethyst and Pearl arguing about something could be heard even from inside. For a while, all five of the kids sat in relative silence, with Dipper and Connie still feeling quite petulant over the fact that they had even allowed Pacifica to hitch a ride with them while Steven and Mabel were in their usual high spirits. The heiress herself couldn’t have been more uncomfortable as she was pressed tightly between the twins, her gloved hand resting on an unknown sticky spot and her hair already far too frazzled for her liking.

“Hey! I found two tacos!” Mabel exclaimed with a huge grin, pulling out the snacks from the back window before taking a bite out of one of them.

“Oh, I was wondering where Amethyst put those!” Steven chuckled mirthfully. “I’m sure she won’t mind if you eat them though, Mabel. She has like, a whole secret stash of them back at the temple!”

“Great!” Mabel exclaimed, her mouth full. All the while, Pacifica could only stare at her in complete awe, as if she was unable to really comprehend what was happening at all.

“You’re allowed to eat in the car?” she finally asked Mabel, her jaw still dropped in shock.

“Yeah!” Mabel nodded brightly. “The car is where secret surprise snacks happen! Want one?” she asked, holding her spare taco out to the heiress.

“Oh, I’m not supposed to take handouts,” Pacifica quickly shook her head, only to hear Connie and Dipper both let out a shared snicker beside her. “And what exactly is so funny?” she asked them with an unimpressed glare.

“This isn’t a handout, Pacifica,” Mabel interjected with an amused grin. “It’s called sharing!”

“Sha-sharrring?” Pacifica asked, the word completely foreign on her tongue.

“Figures she wouldn’t even know what sharing is,” Connie muttered to Dipper, eliciting another small chuckle from them both.

“Sharing is when you give things to other people without asking for anything in return,” Steven explained with a patient smile. “It’s a really nice thing that friends do to show each other that they care!”

The heiress gave him a totally confounded look upon hearing this, several of the words and concepts he had used totally new to her. “Ok, now you’ve lost me.”

“You know what? Just take it,” Mabel laughed, handing the taco to her. Pacifica hesitantly took it, though she didn’t exactly eat it right away as she instead simply stared at it in muted confusion. On display all around her was a lifestyle that she had never really seen close up before. A lifestyle where one could eat what her parents would certainly deem as “peasant” food while in the car. Where people gave things to each other without thinking of money or favors that could be gained from it. Where the adults in charge consisted of morally ambiguous conmen, somewhat dim-witted handymen, and bizarre, yet supportive magical women. Where wealth, power, and appearances hardly mattered at all, and were instead replaced with fun, warmth, and freedom. And as much as it completely bewildered Pacifica, to the point that she could scarcely even wrap her head around it, she couldn’t deny that there was almost a strange kind of… comfort to it all. A comfort that she would certainly never let herself indulge in willingly. But still, a comfort nonetheless.

And yet, all too soon it was over. The car soon pulled up to the gates of Northwest Manor, Stan and the Gems all wearing proud, knowing smirks as the kids turned to take in their handiwork on the walls. Pacifica let out an appalled gasp as she saw all of the various insults graffitied onto her mansion’s outer gate, but even so, the vandals responsible for it played it quite cool all the while.

“W-who did this?!” the heiress asked hotly, quickly getting out of the car.

“Good question,” Garnet shrugged casually from atop the roof.

“Well whoever it was, it certainly wasn’t us-” Pearl’s innocent statement was quickly interrupted by an elbowing and a shush from Amethyst.

“Hey, maybe it was one of your hundreds of servants,” Stan remarked to Pacifica with a broad grin. “You should fire him and send him down to the Mystery Shack. I can use someone to massage my bunions.”

Pacifica simply let out a frustrated growl as the conman and the purple Gem let out a laugh at her expense, but somehow, she managed to push her anger away and turn on her heel to head inside. “Thanks for the ride, or whatever,” she remarked flippantly, though she did pause for just a moment. “Oh, and Mabel? Um, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… I had fun.” She smiled briefly, one that was actually genuine in contrast to her usual sardonic smirks, before she continued to the gates. “Oh, and tell your servant I like his W-neck!”

“Yes!” Soos cheered before the flap of his W-neck fell down once again.

“I can’t believe you guys graffitied her mansion,” Connie remarked to Stan and the Gems with an amazed smile. “That’s so awesome!”

“Eh, it was just a usual Revenge Trip,” Stan shrugged, even though he was still grinning. “Nothing special.”

“Whoa, Pearl, did you write that one?” Steven asked, pointing to the long insult written in the white Gem’s usual curly handwriting. “Because even if it is kinda mean, it looks really cool!”

“Why, yes, Steven,” Pearl crossed her arms, grinning in proud satisfaction. “I did write that! And I’d do it again too!”

“Whoa there, rebel,” Amethyst chuckled. “Might wanna calm it down there a bit. Don’t wanna spend all your excitement on your first Revenge Trip.”

“F-first?!” Pearl asked in sudden alarm, suddenly troubled at the thought of going on another morally ambiguous escapade like this again.

“So are you and Pacifica like, cool now?” Dipper asked Mabel with a confused frown as they watched her approach the mansion gates.

“I think we made some progress,” Mabel nodded confidently. “The important thing to remember is that at the end of the day, she’s just an ordinary kid like us.”

She was quickly proven wrong, of course, as the manor gates swung open to reveal the lavish Northwest mansion standing safely behind them, its massive structure and scope far more impressive up close than they were at a distance. Of course, the elegance was only heightened by the beautiful fountains dotting its lawn, as well as the graceful peacocks meandering about it. As if to hail the heiress’s return home, a round of blaring fireworks went off as she stepped through the gates, spelling out the words “Congratulations, Pacifica!” in the night sky. For a moment, the kids could only stare in shared awe at all this pomp and circumstance that Pacifica certainly got to enjoy on a daily basis, until they all quickly regathered their wits about them.

“Honestly, I’m not even surprised,” Connie concluded with a tired sigh, resting back in her seat as she crossed her arms.

“Wow… look at all those peacocks!” Steven exclaimed in amazement. “I wonder if they all have cute little names!”

“You should have charged her for that taco,” Dipper said to Mabel, who really couldn’t argue with him on that point.

“Agreed!”

“Hey, you got any more of those surprise tacos?” Soos asked from up front as the car began to pull away.

“Wait, surprise tacos?” Amethyst asked with a sudden frown. “Hey! My car stash!” She pouted in faux anger for a moment before breaking into a devious smirk. “Well since you guys are gonna eat all my tacos, I guess we’re just gonna have to take a trip through tumble tunnel!” Shapeshifting her arms wide, the purple Gem grabbed the sides of the car and began to shake it around as it drove down the road. The kids all laughed in amusement as they bumped against each other in the backseat, and Stan couldn’t help but join in, even if he was still trying to remain on the road for as much as Amethyst was rocking the car.

“A-Amethyst!” Pearl exclaimed, struggling to hold onto the roof. “Stop that this-”

The white Gem was abruptly cut off as Garnet placed a hand on her shoulder, sending her a coy smile as she shook her head and silently commanded her to enjoy the fun. And while Pearl’s first instinct was to protest this, she soon did, letting out a small chuckle and adding to the chorus of laugher rocking the car just as much as Amethyst was as it rolled down the road towards the rising sun.

Still, what no one was aware of as they headed home was that they had a tiny stowaway clinging to the car’s license plate, hiding just out of everyone’s view. “Laugh now, hugelings…” Franz muttered with a cold, calculating smirk. “But Franz will have his day! Franz will-” His vengeful musings were cut short as Amethyst’s rocking resulted in the car jolting violently as it went over a pothole. Unable to hold onto the license plate, Franz fell off and ultimately ended rolling into a ­shallow pit on the side of the road, unfortunately landing upside down. “Ah! Help!” he cried, squirming desperately in a futile attempt to right himself. “Sand trap! Ow! Somebody help me!”

 Next: 

[etraytin]

New Fic

Sooo... turns out I have not been quite as productive as I planned in the wake of the 100-Day Fic-a-Day. This homeschooling thing is absolutely kicking my ass, and it’s a lot harder to write when I’m not sending the kiddo off on the bus every day. Woof. Not to mention that the problem with writing three continuing AUs is that I have kind of lost touch and fallen into my own brain on some things. To correct this imbalance, I’ve been going back and watching many, many episodes (not exactly a chore!) to see if I can firm up the world a bit more in my head. Today’s story comes from that, a plot bunny that hit me over the head when I watched Lord John Marbury and saw Josh trying to convince Donna to caddy for him. Enjoy! 

“Golf sits in the beautiful junction between perfection and frustration.” -Colleen Ferrary Bader

It was a beautiful day outside. Donna tipped her head back and closed her eyes to let the sun pour down on her skin, imagining she could feel her pores soaking up Vitamin D despite the scrupulous coating of sunscreen she’d applied. A few fat clouds scudded across the blue sky, chased by the same breeze that lifted the ends of her hair and played gently with her clothes. She took a deep breath and smiled. It was so good to get outdoors every once in awhile.

“Donna!”

She kept her eyes closed and took another deep breath. It was so peaceful out here, the carefully manicured grass crisp and soft under her feet, the sound of birds-

“DONNA!”

Opening her eyes, she turned to glare at Josh. “What?” she demanded. “Can’t you see I was having a moment?”

Josh puffed up to her, looking sweaty and out of sorts. “You’re supposed to be my caddy!” he reminded her, his voice perilously close to a whine.

“Yes,” she agreed complacently. “That’s why I’m out here with you on one of my rare and precious days off work, instead of out apartment hunting like I should be.”

“So you agree that you’re caddying for me today,” he pressed suspiciously.

“Uh-huh,” she nodded.

“Then why,” he demanded, “in the name of all that’s holy, am I carrying the bag?” He gave her a glare that was more piteous than menacing, still trying to balance the bag on his shoulder.

“Because it’s heavy!” she reminded him. “And you wouldn’t get a golf cart.”

“Real golfers don’t use golf carts!” Josh scoffed, dropping the bag so he could gesture with both hands. “You don’t get to know a golf course if you don’t walk it with your own feet.”

“Real golfers don’t have a handicap of 26 either, yet here we are,” Donna shot back, raising both her eyebrows at him.

“Hey!” he yelped. “You’re not supposed to be looking at the score cards!” She gave him an unrepentant shrug and kept walking, swinging her arms loosely. “And stop walking, we’ve got to wait up for the others.”

Donna looked over her shoulder. “I thought they were behind us and just walking slower.”

“Senator Richards sent his assistant back to get a golf cart,” Josh muttered. “He’s got a bunion or something. They’re gonna catch up.”

“Wait, so they’re going to have a golf cart and we aren’t?” Donna demanded. “That’s not fair.”

“Actually I was thinking that I should ride with the Senators in the cart, and all the caddies can walk behind. That way we can talk without being interrupted.” He was grinning now, full dimples.

Donna was less amused. “Oh sure, I’m certain that the Senators will be very impressed with your manliness as you make your twenty-six year old female assistant walk behind the cart with your golf clubs. I think you should walk with the clubs and I should ride in the cart, to prove your virility. Besides, they like me better.”

“Virility?” Josh squawked, the pitch of his voice rising sharply. Donna smirked at him. “Nobody, and I mean nobody, Donnatella Moss, has any cause to be questioning my virility! Just ask-” He cut himself off abruptly as both of them considered how well that sort of inquiry would go over with Mandy Hampton. “No,” he decided. “But you can take it as settled fact.”

“If you say so,” Donna replied, tongue firmly in her cheek. “But you know how easily rumors get started. Better not to chance it. Anyway, I think we’re almost to the sixth hole.”

He sighed, hefting the bag again. “All I know is that we’d better get a deal on Appropriations after all this, because I’m not going to be able to walk for the next two days. I don’t even like golf, and we’re only six holes in, and I’ve got the world’s worst caddy here.”

She pouted at him. “That’s not a very nice thing to say. I could be out apartment hunting.”

“Yeah, and you’d be approximately as much use to me there as you are right now,” he pointed out as they arrived at the sixth tee. “Do you even know what a caddy is supposed to be doing?”

“Of course I do, I looked it up,” Donna informed him. “I offer you moral support and make insightful commentary about the course and the game, and keep an independent record of the score.”

“And?” Josh prompted, giving the bag of clubs a little shake.

“And carry supplies,” she finished brightly, producing a golf ball and tee from her pocket. She handed them to him. “There you go. And I think there’s a water feature on this hole. You should probably stay away from it.”

“Thank you, Jack Nicklaus.” Josh muttered. Whatever else he might have wanted to say was curtailed when the golf cart carrying the two senators and their two aides arrived on the tee. If Josh’d had his druthers, they’d have spent most of their time sitting in the cart and hashing out the appropriations package, but the legislators obviously had other priorities. Unfortunately, those priorities required Josh to hit the ball a few times.

Ten minutes later, Josh and Donna stood together on the edge of a shallow pond, looking down into the clear water. “You know,” Donna began, “I clearly remember telling you-”

“Don’t even start with me, I mean it,” he warned, pulling on his hair as he stared at the wavy form of his ball, just out of reach without wading.

She reached out and smoothed his hair down, almost without thinking about it, then handed him another ball. “Just look at it this way, you’ll get an even bigger head start next time you play, right?”

Josh’s bad mood was not improved any by the fact that when he finally did hop on the cart to have words with the senators, Donna immediately made the best of her walking tour by introducing herself to one of the aides, who had also been dragooned into caddying. He was probably about Donna’s age, tall and with a full head of hair, and with the sort of muscular build that suggested he could walk the course easily while carrying both a bag of clubs and Donna. Just the sort of gomer who could be relied upon to turn Donna’s head. By the tenth hole, the two were chatting like old friends, comparing favorite music and restaurants, and being more than a little distracting while Josh was trying to golf. Nobody else seemed to mind, but the legislators were probably just hard of hearing. And maybe senile as well.

When several of Josh’s pointed glares failed to stop the whispered flirtation, he resorted to more drastic measures. This involved putting Donna on the golf cart and trotting along behind it himself while still trying to carry on bits and pieces of a conversation. That worked for about two holes, during which time Donna got to see several dozen grandchild pictures instead of the muscled arms of Gomer-boy. She also somehow managed to sweet-talk Richards into reconsidering two points of the HHS budget, a surprising added bonus that Josh knew he was going to be hearing about for weeks at the office. She might have gotten even more, but Josh could barely catch his breath to play by the time they reached the thirteenth green. He really needed to start jogging again.

“I think you should let me hit the ball,” Donna murmured as she chased Josh into the rough once again, following another misdirected drive. “I think I could do it. I’ve been watching you and I have a system.”

He glared at her. “You haven’t been watching anything but Senator Patterson’s aide for the past five holes,” he muttered back. “I think while you’ve been enjoying Tee-time for the Lovelorn, you’ve forgotten what a caddy does again.”

Again with the pouting. Sometimes when Donna stuck her lower lip out like that, he wanted to… nope. He was very, very busy golfing right now, and he was completely unmoved by any pouting. “Come on, Josh, this is boring!” she insisted. “There’s eighteen holes and you’ve massacred twelve and a half of them already. Would it really make things any worse to let me have a turn?”

“Donna, Donna, Donna,” he began, giving the ball a mighty whack that turned up a hockey-puck-sized divot, but at least put the ball close to the green, “golf is a game where the strategy extends far beyond the score. Would the senators be in such an expansive mood right now if they weren’t cleaning my clock at this completely meaningless excuse for a sport?”

“Ah, so you’re being this terrible on purpose,” Donna guessed, nodding wisely. “That’s a relief. But I still think you should let me take a shot,” she reiterated as he lined up another swing. “Gabe’s promised to help me correct my stance.” Josh whiffed entirely, mostly because he’d whipped his head up to glare at her.

Donna grinned at him and sauntered away, satisfied with a job well done. Josh was getting frustrated with the game and starting to forget what he was out here to do. Now that he was recentered on the task at hand, he ought to do just fine with talking the senators around, even if his score was terrible. Getting him to make that face was just an extra added bonus. Gabe was nice, but he was only twenty-four and very, very green. If he survived another five years in Washington, he might be worth looking at, but Donna was interested in more mature, savvier men, men who already knew exactly where they were going. Like… nope. Like any number of mature, savvy nameless men who were surely out there, just waiting to be discovered. She picked up the clubs and began dragging them along towards the green after Josh.

Josh was especially obnoxious to her for the next three holes, which Donna thought was quite unfair since she’d only been trying to help him out. He wouldn’t even help her load the clubs onto the cart, leaving her with no choice but to flutter her eyes at Gabe until he picked them up for her. “I should just strap the clubs to your back,” Josh muttered to her as they reached the seventeenth tee. “Maybe it would slow you down a little from the pursuit of douchebag politicos.”

Donna gave him a smack on the arm, maybe just a little harder than she’d intended. “Be nice,” she hissed. Nobody was quite close enough to hear them, but it was still a stupid thing to say. “And try not to whiff again, it’s embarrassing.”

“It’s the club that’s the problem!” Josh insisted as they walked up to the teeing box. He handed it over to her, head-first. “It’s got grass and stuff on it. You’re the caddy, polish me up.”

“What, right out here in public?” she asked innocently, taking the club by the handle. While he sputtered and stared, she gave the driver a quick swipe with the towel and scraped a little dirt out with a spare tee. “There you go, all better.” Josh completely whiffed another shot.

Even if Josh’s golf game was well beyond saving, his other skills were still in good shape, especially the one for turning around reluctant senators on important bills. By the eighteenth hole, Josh had his victory in the bag, and was calling Sam to tell him how things needed to be lined up with the legislative liaison’s office. He still wasn’t finished by the time the senators took their first drives, and just waved Donna off when she tried to coax him towards the box.

“Why don’t you take the shot for him?” Senator Patterson joked. “I’m sure you could only be an improvement.” By this point the game had long since denigrated into a contest between the senators anyway.

Needing no further encouragement, Donna pulled the driver from Josh’s bag and teed up. It had been quite awhile since she’d last played, but some things you didn’t really forget. With a satisfying thock sound, she sent the ball flying down the fairway. A helpful breeze caught it in the air, nudging it past the dogleg and making her look pretty impressive when the ball landed neatly on the edge of the putting green.

Josh, who’d turned around at the noise, stared at her as though she’d suddenly grown another head. “How did you do that?” he demanded, ignoring both Sam’s confusion on the phone and the laughter of the senators.

There was no way on earth that Donna would admit she’d been on the golf team for three years in high school to avoid gym class, or that this was a one-in-a-thousand lucky shot she’d be hard-pressed to ever replicate. Instead, she tossed her hair and grinned at him. “I told you to let me have a turn,” she reminded him. “I have a system.” Pushing the golf bag into his hands, she bounded off down the fairway after her ball. She knew he’d be right behind her.

(This fic is also posted at Archive of Our Own, same author name, with the title “Beautiful Junction.”)

[thecreatorformula]

Spring festivals in the Kansas City area for 2019

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Spring is here and blossoms will soon be on the trees. Sunrise will have that reddish-purple glow as you come into work in the morning. Spring started on March 20th and will continue till June 21st. You may be wondering what are some cool activities in the Kansas City area you can attend, so here’s a list of this year’s spring festivals and activities. Spring activities listed here include: Easter egg hunts, craft brewery tastings, flower arrangement classes, wine and cheese gatherings, music festivals, film festivals, and love for mushrooms, apples, and bacon.

April 3 – Culinary Fight Club Presents the 2019 National BBQ Association Kansas City Street Food Showdown: 10 teams will compete for the 2019 Culinary Fight Club Apron and trophy. There will be two winners. Dinner tickets cost $50. You can expect a night out with gourmet BBQ meant as street food. What exactly is street food? According to the competition, it is ready-to-eat foods and beverages prepared and sold by vendors off streets or similar places. The Culinary Fight Club will challenge contestants to plate the most gourmet version of “low to middle income” cuisine with limited fresh ingredients in only 60 minutes. The event will be held at the Kansas City Marriott Downtown location in Kansas City, MO. It is from 6:00pm to 9:00pm.

April 3 – Stella & Dot Spring Kick Off: Stella & Dot is working to change the fashion industry to meet the demands of busy women. You have the chance to see the company’s jewelry and apparel as well as mix and mingle with the stylist community. Ticket will include hors d’oeuvres. This will be held at the Malfer Studio in Leawood, KS. It costs about $10. It starts at 6:00pm and ends at 9:00pm.

Craft beer being poured.

April 6 – NKC Rotary Spring Fling Beer Fest: the third annual fest will feature 30 local home brewers, soon-to-open breweries, and several beer-related vendors. This is a fundraising event for charitable efforts – such as scholarships for students and growing literacy. The event is in conjunction with the Missouri Mashers Brew Club. This is located at 1520 Clay Street, North Kansas City, MO. It costs around $10-$40.

April 6 – 4th Annual Spring Fling in the Vines: includes cotton candy cocktails made with Muskrato de Missouri wine, mini strawberry shortcakes, and games like redneck golf, washers, yard Yahtzee, and Giant Jenga. It is free to attend and no reservations are required. Come out between 11:00am and 6:00pm. It will be held at the Jowler Creek Vineyard & Winery.

April 6 – Let’s Celebrate Spring: in April the American Wine Society Kansas City Chapter will dive into sparkling wines and champagne to toast the new season. You’ll have the chance to learn about how wines are made, stored, and learn about unique wine aromas and flavors. Visitors are welcome to attend. The cost for members and guests is $10. Tickets must be purchased prior to the event due to venue space and regulations. This will be held at the Sylvester Powell Jr. Community Center in Mission KS. The event is from 2:00pm to 4:00pm.

April 6 – Sans Bar KC Spring Booze-Free Bash: ticket includes hand-crafted alcohol-free drinks and live music by the E&M Sound initiative. The event is for people who want to gather without alcohol. It is for anyone 17+ years of age. It will be from 7:00pm to 10:30pm at the Yoga Patch located at 7235 Central Street, Kansas City, MO.

April 7 – Say Cheese Fest Kansas City: you’ll have the chance to sample some of the best cheese dishes in Kansas City and the surrounding area. Enjoy mac & cheese, cheese pizza, grilled cheese, and more. It costs around $25-$45. VIP admission gets you in at 3:00pm. The first general admission round is at 4:00pm to 7:00pm. The second general admission round is at 7:00pm to 9:00pm. There are several vegetarian options at this event. Children are welcome, but strollers are not allowed. You’ll receive one sample ticket for each food vendor. Each guest receives around 8-10 food tickets.

April 10-14 – Kansas City FilmFest international: the film festival will include a variety of films at different lengths, including fiction and documentary style movies. The Heartland Student Short will include movies from college students and high school students from Kansas or Missouri. These films will be 40 minutes or shorter in length and in any genre. The festival includes 120+ narrative and documentary shorts and features. It covers all topics from jazz, Latin cinema, Black Voices Matter, alternate stories, world cinema, and more. It is the longest running and largest film festival in the Kansas City metro.

April 11 through May 2 – 2019 Italian Film Festival: the event includes four critically-acclaimed Italian films. All movies will be shown in English subtitles. This is sponsored by Volpi Foods and the Italian Cultural Institute of Chicago in collaboration with Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art. The festival is free. Movies are shown on Thursdays. On April 25 the museum will show seven short film programs.

April 11 – German Film Festival: Showing “Bonhoeffer” and “The Sorrows of Young Werther.” This will be at the UMKC Student Union Theater, first movie at 6:00pm, second movie at 9:00pm.

April 11 – Just Between Friends Shawnee Spring 2019 Sale: this is a community event where families can sell items their children no longer use and buy items that fit for them now. The spring event features clothing for boys and girls, shoes, baby items, maternity clothes, feeding and bathing gear. You can also find toys, electronics, books, games, strollers, and more. Items have reduced prices. The idea is that since children grow fast, the community can come together to exchange items. The event is free to attend. It is held at the Wyandotte County Fairgrounds in Kansas City, KS.

April 12 – Alphabet Soup: Stories from Queer Voices LGBTQ Short Play Festival: this is the 4th year for the festival. Tickets cost $15. This year it will include seven plays centered around LGBTQ matters. The show is suggested for people 17+ in age. This will be at the Squeezebox Theatre in Kansas City, MO. Plays cover a wide range of topics from: science fiction, family issues, college life, sexual orientation, individuality, and the consequences of research. Doors open 30 minutes before the show. The plays start at 8:00pm and will end around 10:00pm.

April 13-14 — Cider Hill Apple Blossom Festival: located at the Cider Hill Family Orchard in Kansas City, KS. It includes hayrides through the orchard, apple blossoms, spring flowers for sale, vendors with handmade items, a train, classes, BBQ lunch, cider donuts, slushies, kettle corn, and more. It is from 12:00pm to 5:00pm both days.

April 13 – Community Egg Hunt: if you have kiddos and are looking for somewhere to celebrate Easter, this event is free and put on by Cross Points Church. The hunt includes a bounce house, cotton candy, games, and music. It will be held at the Lion’s Park in Bonner Springs, KS. It is meant to be a community event and just for fun.

April 13 – FSE Spring Craft & Vendor Fair 2019: the craft fair supports local businesses and shops for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, graduation, prom accessories, and wedding shower gifts. The event is free and will include authentic Mexican food, a raffle, face painting, pony rides, and a clown. There will be over 50 booths for you to explore. It will be held at the Franklin Smith Elementary Gym. All proceeds raised benefit students. Money will go to field trips, special person days throughout the year, reading programs, playground equipment, and other important necessities.

April 13 – Turkish Food & Art Festival: the food festival includes Turkish favorites such as gyro, baklava, Turkish pizza, stuffed flatbread, and cakes. There will also be personalized books and pottery for sale. It is hosted by Dialogue Institute Kansas City. It is from 11:00am to 3:00pm at 4215 Shawnee Drive, Kansas City, KS.

April 14 – Spring Cheese & Wine: it costs $50 to sample multiple cheeses, wines, and other items. Tickets are available for purchase through www.thebettercheddar.com under the event tab. You can also purchase a ticket in store or by phone: 816-561-8204. The event is located at The Better Cheddar in Kansas City, MO. It is hosted by Matthew McDowell & Lincoln Broadbooks.

April 14 – Festival Passport to India: the event includes South and Southeast Asian art and culture. You’ll have the chance to learn from teachers about art and dance. There will be live music, fashion shows, and a variety of dance performances. This will be held at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art from 10:00am to 4:00pm. Food will be available for purchase. The full schedule is listed on the museum website. It includes a fashion show, traditional string and percussion music, and art activities.

April 18 – The Pitch’s Bacon & Bourbon: for those who love bacon and bourbon this is going to be heaven. Last year’s event sold-out. You can sample over 20 bourbons and sample treats from local restaurants, including Aladdin, Homesteader, Pressed Penny Tavern, Pickens Sweet Treats, and several other eateries. The event will also include live music. Also, bacon. There will be lots of bacon, and probably no Kevin Bacon. It will be held at the Truman and starts at 7:00pm. General admission is $38. VIP and early bird entry is $48.

April 18 – Spring Vegetables: if you want to learn more about cooking and vegetables than this class is perfect for you. Join Renee Kelly aka “Sassy Chef” for cooking classes at Portfolio Kitchen and Home located at 215 W. Pershing Rd, Kansas City, MO. All classes are interactive. Renee will share with you over 20 years of practice. Food, beverages, and recipes will be provided for all classes. Some of the vegetables in the class are: watercress bisque, shallots, roasted carrots, braised radish, and asparagus. It costs $75 and the class is from 6:30pm to 8:30pm.

April 20 – Asia Cultural Festival: the festival showcases a wide variety of Asian food, performances, and music. There will be a martial arts workshop in the afternoon. The Miss Asia Contest kicks off at 10:00am. The Mid-American Asian Culture Association is hosting the event. It costs $0-$5 to enter. It will be held at the Overland Park Convention Center from 10:00am to 6:00pm.

April 20 – Finally Spring and Pretty Flowers: join the lead designer at D&R Flowers for a fun class on arranging flowers. The event includes cocktails, wine, and small bites in the Solarium Lounge at The Fontaine Hotel in Kansas City, MO. Workshop tickets include all materials necessary for the class and a vase with flowers to take home. A floral arranging kit will be available for purchase during the class. It costs $25 and includes floral clippers, sheers, floral tape, D&R Flowers, a personalized apron, rose/stem stripper, etc. The floral arrangement class is from 2:00pm-4:00pm and costs $65.

April 26 – UMKC Conservatory Spring Dance in Kansas City: dance students and Conservatory musicians will perform for the general public. Tickets are free for UMKC faculty, staff, and students with a UMKC ID. It costs $12 for general admission.

April 27 – Douglas County Fair Spring “Total Knockout” Demolition Derby: the spring demolition will be held at the Douglas County Fairgrounds in Lawrence, KS. It starts at 6:00pm and ends at 11:30pm. It costs $10 to enter.

April 27 – Spring Craft Fair: the Riverstone Retirement Community will host the handiwork and crafts of some of Kansas City’s finest. It will include art, vendors, jewelry, gifts, home décor, and other activities. RSVP by Tuesday, April 23. If you have questions call 816-741-2555.

April 27 – Kegs N Eggs: thousands of Easter eggs will be hidden across the Kansas City Renaissance Festival grounds. Each egg contains tickets to be redeemed for prizes. There will be free t-shirts, live music, craft beer tastings, 10 food trucks, and the chance for cash prizes. It occurs at 11:00am to 4:00pm.

April 27-28 – Kansas City Homes Tour Experience: 2019 Spring Urban Core Home Show and Bus Tour: this event includes a home-buyer’s seminar, with on-site approval, raffles, and a kids’ zone both days. Bus tour registration begins at 11:00am and buses leave at 12:00pm. This will be held at the Mohart Multipurpose Center in Kansas City, MO. It is free to attend.

April 28 – The Kritiq Spring Fashion Show: the fashion show is a platform for local talent to show off their creativity. The show is a blend of casual street glamour and high fashion. It costs around $40-$65 to attend. It will take place at the Airline History Museum in Kansas City, MO. The show starts at 5:00pm and ends at 9:00pm.

April 28 – William Baker Festival Singers at Holy Angels Basehor: this is a one-hour concert featuring American folk hymns and African-American spirituals. It will be held at the Holy Angel Catholic Church in Basehor, KS. It will feature several composers. There will be a 50-voice a cappella chorale. The event is from 4:30pm to 6:00pm. A donation is suggested. The William Baker Choral Foundation is a not-for-profit 501(c)-(3) arts organization of the state of Kansas licensed to operate in Missouri and Georgia.

May 2-4 – Mushroom Festival: Thursday evening will kick off the 39th year of this event with a kids night at the carnival. On Friday over 200 craft and food vendors will be at the event. Saturday will include live entertainment, a children’s talent show, and a demolition derby. The Grand Parade will showcase floats and entertainers such as the Richmond Marching Band. There will also be a corn hole tournament, morsel contest, National Guard Military display, a basketball tournament, and much more. It will be located at the intersection of 10 & 13 Hwy.

May 4 – KC Brew & Chew: attendees have the chance to sample from the area’s top food trucks and local brewers. There is a kid friendly zone, along with vendors, and live music. A percentage of the proceeds will go to help police agencies and first responders. The festival is free to attend. Craft beer sampling is from 2:00pm to 6:00pm and requires a $20 ticket. You must be 21+ to participate. The festival as a whole is from 2:00pm to 10:00pm. The event will take place at East Forty Brewing in Blue Springs, MO.

May 11 – Strawberry Swing Indie Craft Fair: the fair brings together experts on ceramics, clothing, printing, painting, photography, woodworking, leather working, fiber arts, and more. The Strawberry Swing has a fair for every season. The event will be held from 10:00am to 6:00pm at the historic Alexander Majors Barn & Grounds at 8201 State Line Road, Kansas City, MO.

May 15-19 – International Quilt Market Spring 2019: the event will feature 1,000 booths showcasing the latest products. Located at 301 W 13th St, Kansas City, MO.

May 17-18 – Bluegrass in the Bottoms: bluegrass musicians from across the country will play. It will take place outside the Knuckleheads Saloon. The area is known for vintage antique boutiques, bistros, and cocktail bars.

May 18 – 2019 Kansas City Nanobrew Festival: for those wanting to try out some local home brewing, this is your chance. Admission includes unlimited tastings from 350 home brewed beers, a full-size souvenir glass, food, and entertainment. You must be 21+ to participate. You must have a valid ticket to enter. It will be held at the Berkley Riverfront Park in Kansas City, MO. The festival is from 2:00pm to 6:00pm.

May 18 – 4th Annual Weston WineFest presented by Pirtle Winery: the festival will be held on adjoining space with the Weston Brewing Company. Wines will be available for purchase. A souvenir wine glass and a gift is included with tastings. Ticket sales are limited. Carpooling is suggested — there is limited parking. You must be 21+ years of age to attend. No pets or coolers are allowed. This will be held at Pirtle Winery in Weston, MO from 12:00pm to 7:00pm. The event includes wine from 10 different wineries from around the area including:

Pirtle Winery Ladoga Ridge Winery Windy Wine Company Riverwood Winery Fence Stile Winery Tipple Hill Winery Vox Vineyards Jowler Creek Winery Weston Wine Company Van Till Family Farm Winery

May 31-June 1 – Tumbleweed Real Country – it’s considered one of the best country music and camping festivals in the United States. The whole experience lasts three nights and 2 days. Besides country music, it also includes a pool party, hot air balloon rides, horse drawn carriage rides, camping, fishing, helicopter rides, archery, and live music. Kids 10 and under are free to enter. Camping is optional. Camping spots are not reserved; it is first-come, first-served. Lawn chairs are permitted. RV camping is adjacent to forest camping. Tumbleweed is a family-friendly festival. Prices vary.

June 8 – 15th Annual Kansas City International Dragon Boat Festival: opening ceremonies begin along Brush Creek on the Country Club Plaza. There will be dancing, singing, drumming, magic, acrobatics, skits, and martial arts performances. Arts and crafts activities are available for both children and adults. Booths offer a wide range of goods from jewelry to dragon parasols. Food trucks will be at the event. The sidewalks will be decorated with Chinese Lanterns and banners. The festival begins at 8:00am with the boats heading into the waters. The festival ends at 4:00pm.

June 21-22 – Heartland Yoga Festival 2019: celebrate the summer solstice and International Yoga Day. Several yoga teachers will attend the event for demonstrations and guidance. It will include beverages, food, and vendors. The event hopes to connect people who like yoga to each other. It includes 3 community classes, 3 breakout workshops, music, and more. It will be held at the Unity Village Hotel and Conference Center in Unity Village, MO. It starts on Friday at 4:00pm and ends at 10:00pm the next day. Costs vary.

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[kansascityhappenings]

Spring festivals in the Kansas City area for 2019

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Spring is here and blossoms will soon be on the trees. Sunrise will have that reddish-purple glow as you come into work in the morning. Spring started on March 20th and will continue till June 21st. You may be wondering what are some cool activities in the Kansas City area you can attend, so here’s a list of this year’s spring festivals and activities. Spring activities listed here include: Easter egg hunts, craft brewery tastings, flower arrangement classes, wine and cheese gatherings, music festivals, film festivals, and love for mushrooms, apples, and bacon.

April 3 – Culinary Fight Club Presents the 2019 National BBQ Association Kansas City Street Food Showdown: 10 teams will compete for the 2019 Culinary Fight Club Apron and trophy. There will be two winners. Dinner tickets cost $50. You can expect a night out with gourmet BBQ meant as street food. What exactly is street food? According to the competition, it is considered ready-to-eat foods and beverages prepared and sold by vendors off streets or other similar places. The Culinary Fight Club will challenge contestants to plate the most gourmet version of “low to middle income” cuisine with limited fresh ingredients in only 60 minutes. The event will be held at the Kansas City Marriott Downtown location in Kansas City, MO. It is from 6:00pm to 9:00pm.

April 3 – Stella & Dot Spring Kick Off: Stella & Dot is working to change the fashion industry to meet the demands of busy women. You have the chance to see the company’s jewelry and apparel as well as mix and mingle with the stylist community. Ticket will include hors d’oeuvres. This will be held at the Malfer Studio in Leawood, KS. It costs about $10. It starts at 6:00pm and ends at 9:00pm.

Craft beer being poured.

April 6 – NKC Rotary Spring Fling Beer Fest: the third annual fest will feature 30 local home brewers, soon-to-open breweries, and several beer-related vendors. This is a fundraising event for charitable efforts – such as scholarships for students and growing literacy. The event is in conjunction with the Missouri Mashers Brew Club. This is located at 1520 Clay Street, North Kansas City, MO. It costs around $10-$40.

April 6 – 4th Annual Spring Fling in the Vines: includes cotton candy cocktails made with Muskrato de Missouri wine, mini strawberry shortcakes, and games like redneck golf, washers, yard Yahtzee, and Giant Jenga. It is free to attend and no reservations are required. Come out between 11:00am and 6:00pm. It will be held at the Jowler Creek Vineyard & Winery.

April 6 – Let’s Celebrate Spring: in April the American Wine Society Kansas City Chapter will dive into sparkling wines and champagne to toast the new season. You’ll have the chance to learn about how wines are made, stored, and learn about unique wine aromas and flavors. Visitors are welcome to attend. The cost for members and guests is $10. Tickets must be purchased prior to the event due to venue space and regulations. This will be held at the Sylvester Powell Jr. Community Center in Mission KS. The event is from 2:00pm to 4:00pm.

April 6 – Sans Bar KC Spring Booze-Free Bash: ticket includes hand-crafted alcohol-free drinks and live music by the E&M Sound initiative. The event is for people who want to gather without alcohol. It is for anyone 17+ years of age. It will be from 7:00pm to 10:30pm at the Yoga Patch located at 7235 Central Street, Kansas City, MO.

April 7 – Say Cheese Fest Kansas City: you’ll have the chance to sample some of the best cheese dishes in Kansas City and the surrounding area. Enjoy mac & cheese, cheese pizza, grilled cheese, and more. It costs around $25-$45. VIP admission gets you in at 3:00pm. The first general admission is at 4:00pm to 7:00pm. The second general admission is at 7:00pm to 9:00pm. There are several vegetarian options at this event. Children are welcome, but strollers are not allowed. You’ll receive one sample ticket for each food vendor. Each guest receives around 8-10 food tickets.

April 10-14 – Kansas City FilmFest international: the film festival will include a variety of films at different lengths, including fiction and documentary style movies. The Heartland Student Short will include movies from college students and high school students from Kansas or Missouri. These films will be 40 minutes or shorter in length and in any genre. The festival includes 120+ narrative and documentary shorts and features. It covers all topics from jazz, Latin cinema, Black Voices Matter, alternate stories, world cinema, and more. It is the longest running and largest film festival in the Kansas City metro.

April 11 through May 2 – 2019 Italian Film Festival: the event includes four critically-acclaimed Italian films at the 2019 Italian Film Festival USA of Kansas City. All films will be shown in English subtitles. This is sponsored by Volpi Foods and the Italian Cultural Institute of Chicago in collaboration with Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art. The festival is free. Movies are shown on Thursdays. On April 25 the museum will show seven short film programs.

April 11 – German Film Festival: Showing “Bonhoeffer” and “The Sorrows of Young Werther.” This will be at the UMKC Student Union Theater, first movie at 6:00pm, second movie at 9:00pm.

April 11 – Just Between Friends Shawnee Spring 2019 Sale: this is a community event where families can sell items their children no longer use and buy items that fit for them now. The spring event features clothing for boys and girls, shoes, baby items, maternity clothes, feeding and bathing gear. You can also find toys, electronics, books, games, strollers, and more. Items have reduced prices. The idea is that since children grow fast, the community can come together to exchange items. The event is free to attend. It is held at the Wyandotte County Fairgrounds in Kansas City, KS.

April 12 – Alphabet Soup: Stories from Queer Voices LGBTQ Short Play Festival: this is the 4th year for the festival. Tickets cost $15. This year it will include seven plays centered around LGBTQ matters. The show is suggested for people 17+ in age. This will be at the Squeezebox Theatre in Kansas City, MO. Plays include a wide range of matters: from science fiction, family issues, college life, individuality, and the consequences of research. Doors open 30 minutes before the show. The plays start at 8:00pm and will end around 10:00pm.

April 13-14 — Cider Hill Apple Blossom Festival: located at the Cider Hill Family Orchard in Kansas City, KS. It includes hayrides through the orchard, apple blossoms, spring flowers for sale, vendors with handmade items, a train, classes, BBQ lunch, cider donuts, slushies, kettle corn, and more. It is from 12:00pm to 5:00pm both days.

April 13 – Community Egg Hunt: if you have kiddos and are looking for somewhere to celebrate Easter, this event is free and put on by Cross Points Church. The hunt includes a bounce house, cotton candy, games, and music. It will be held at the Lion’s Park in Bonner Springs, KS. It is meant to be a community event and just for fun.

April 13 – FSE Spring Craft & Vendor Fair 2019: the craft fair supports local businesses and shops for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, graduation, prom accessories, and wedding shows gifts. The event is free and will include authentic Mexican food, a raffle, face painting, pony rides, and a clown. There will be over 50 booths for you to explore. It will be held at the Franklin Smith Elementary Gym. All proceeds raised benefit students. Money will go to field trips, special person days throughout the year, reading programs, playground equipment, and other important necessities.

April 13 – Turkish Food & Art Festival: the food festival includes Turkish favorites such as gyro, baklava, Turkish pizza, stuffed flatbread, and cakes. There will also be personalized book and pottery for sale. It is hosted by Dialogue Institute Kansas City. It is from 11:00am to 3:00pm at 4215 Shawnee Drive, Kansas City, KS.

April 14 – Spring Cheese & Wine: it costs $50 to sample multiple cheeses, wines, and other items. Tickets are available for purchase through www.thebettercheddar.com under the event tab. You can also purchase a ticket in store or by phone: 816-561-8204. The event is located at The Better Cheddar in Kansas City, MO. It is hosted by Matthew McDowell & Lincoln Broadbooks.

April 14 – Festival Passport to India: the event includes South and Southeast Asian art and culture. You’ll have the chance to learn from teachers about art and dance. There will be live music, fashion shows, and a variety of dance performances. This will be held at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art from 10:00am to 4:00pm. Food will be available for purchase. The full schedule is listed on the museum website. It includes a fashion show, traditional string and percussion music, and art activities.

April 18 – The Pitch’s Bacon & Bourbon: for those who love bacon and bourbon this is going to be heaven. Last year’s event sold-out. You can sample over 20 bourbons and sample treats from local restaurants, including Aladdin, Homesteader, Pressed Penny Tavern, Pickens Sweet Treats, and several other eateries. The event will also include live music. Also, bacon. There will be lots of bacon, and probably no Kevin Bacon. It will be held at the Truman and starts at 7:00pm. General admission is $38. VIP and early bird entry is $48.

April 18 – Spring Vegetables: if you want to learn more about cooking and vegetables than this class is perfect for you. Join Renee Kelly aka “Sassy Chef” for cooking classes at Portfolio Kitchen and Home located at 215 W. Pershing Rd, Kansas City, MO. All classes are interactive. Renee will share with you over 20 years of practice. Food, beverages, and recipes will be provided for all classes. Some of the vegetables in the class are: watercress bisque, shallots, roasted carrots, braised radish, and asparagus. It costs $75 and the class is from 6:30pm to 8:30pm.

April 20 – Asia Cultural Festival: the festival showcases a wide variety of Asian food, performances, and music. There will be a martial arts workshop in the afternoon. The Miss Asia Contest kicks off at 10:00am. The Mid-American Asian Culture Association is hosting the event. It costs $0-$5 to enter. It will be held at the Overland Park Convention Center from 10:00am to 6:00pm.

April 20 – Finally Spring and Pretty Flowers: join the lead designer at D&R Flowers for a fun class on arranging flowers with fun textures and pastel colors. The event includes cocktails, wine, and small bites in the Solarium Lounge at The Fontaine Hotel in Kansas City, MO. Workshop tickets include all materials necessary for the class and a vase with flowers to take home. A floral arranging kit will be available for purchase during the class. It costs $25 and includes floral clippers, sheers, floral tape, D&R Flowers, a personalized apron, rose/stem stripper, etc. The floral arrangement class is from 2:00pm-4:00pm and costs $65.

April 26 – UMKC Conservatory Spring Dance in Kansas City: dance students and Conservatory musicians will perform for the general public. Tickets are free for UMKC faculty, staff, and students with a UMKC ID. It costs $12 for the general admission.

April 27 – Douglas County Fair Spring “Total Knockout” Demolition Derby: the spring demolition will be held at the Douglas County Fairgrounds in Lawrence, KS. It starts at 6:00pm and ends at 11:30pm. It costs $10 to enter.

April 27 – Spring Craft Fair: the Riverstone Retirement Community will host the handiwork and crafts of some of Kansas City’s finest. It will include art, vendors, jewelry, gifts, home décor, and other activities. RSVP by Tuesday, April 23. If you have questions call 816-741-2555.

April 27 – Kegs N Eggs: thousands of Easter eggs will be hidden across the Kansas City Renaissance Festival grounds. Each egg contains tickets to be redeemed for prizes. There will be free t-shirts, live music, craft beer tastings, 10 food trucks, and the chance for cash prizes. It occurs at 11:00am to 4:00pm.

April 27-28 – Kansas City Homes Tour Experience: 2019 Spring Urban Core Home Show and Bus Tour: this event includes a home-buyer’s seminar, with on-site approval, raffles, and a kids’ zone both days. Bus tour registration begins at 11:00am and buses leave at 12:00pm. This will be held at the Mohart Multipurpose Center in Kansas City, MO. It is free to attend.

April 28 – The Kritiq Spring Fashion Show: the fashion show is a platform for local talent to show off their creativity. The show is a blend of casual street glamour and high fashion. It costs around $40-$65 to attend. It will take place at the Airline History Museum in Kansas City, MO. The show starts at 5:00pm and ends at 9:00pm.

April 28 – William Baker Festival Singers at Holy Angels Basehor: this is a one-hour concert featuring American folk hymns and African-American spirituals. It will be held at the Holy Angel Catholic Church in Basehor, KS. It will feature several composers. There will be a 50-voice a cappella chorale. The event is from 4:30pm to 6:00pm. A donation is suggested. The William Baker Choral Foundation is a not-for-profit 501(c)-(3) arts organization of the state of Kansas licensed to operate in Missouri and Georgia.

May 2-4 – Mushroom Festival: Thursday evening will kick off the 39th year of this event with kids night at the carnival. On Friday over 200 craft and food vendors will be at the event. Saturday will include live entertainment, a children’s talent show, and a demolition derby. The Grand Parade will showcase floats and entertainers such as the Richmond Marching Band. There will also be a corn hole tournament, morsel contest, National Guard Military display, a basketball tournament, and much more. It will be located at the intersection of 10 & 13 Hwy.

May 4 – KC Brew & Chew: attendees have the chance to sample from the area’s top food trucks and local brewers. There is a kid friendly zone, along with vendors, and live music. A percentage of the proceeds will go to help police agencies and first responders. The festival is free to attend. Craft beer sampling is from 2:00pm to 6:00pm and requires a $20 ticket. You must be 21+ to participate. The festival as a whole is from 2:00pm to 10:00pm. The event will take place at East Forty Brewing in Blue Springs, MO.

May 11 – Strawberry Swing Indie Craft Fair: the fair brings together experts on ceramics, clothing, printing, painting, photography, woodworking, leather working, fiber arts, and more. The Strawberry Swing has a fair for every season. The event will be held from 10:00am to 6:00pm at the historic Alexander Majors Barn & Grounds at 8201 State Line Road, Kansas City, MO.

May 15 to May 19 – International Quilt Market Spring 2019: the event will feature 1,000 booths showcasing the latest products. Located at 301 W 13th St, Kansas City, MO.

May 17 to May 18 – Bluegrass in the Bottoms: bluegrass musicians from across the country will play. It will take place outside the Knuckleheads Saloon. The area is known for vintage antique boutiques, bistros, and cocktail bars.

May 18 – 2019 Kansas City Nanobrew Festival: for those wanting to try out some local home brewing, this is your chance. Admission includes unlimited tastings from 350 home brewed beers, a full-size souvenir glass, food, and entertainment. You must be 21+ to participate. You must have a valid ticket to enter. It will be held at the Berkley Riverfront Park in Kansas City, MO. The festival is from 2:00pm to 6:00pm.

May 18 – 4th Annual Weston WineFest presented by Pirtle Winery: the festival will be held on adjoining space with the Weston Brewing Company. Wines will be available for purchase. A souvenir wine glass and a gift is included with tastings. Ticket sales are limited. Carpooling is suggested — there is limited parking. You must be 21+ years of age to attend. No pets or coolers are allowed. This will be held at Pirtle Winery in Weston, MO from 12:00pm to 7:00pm.  The event includes wine from 10 different wineries from around the area including:

Pirtle Winery

Ladoga Ridge Winery

Windy Wine Company

Riverwood Winery

Fence Stile Winery

Tipple Hill Winery

Vox Vineyards

Jowler Creek Winery

Weston Wine Company

Van Till Family Farm Winery

May 31, June 1 – Tumbleweed Real Country – it’s considered one of the best country music and camping festivals in the United States. The whole experience lasts three nights and 2 days. Besides country music, it also includes a pool party, hot air balloon rides, horse drawn carriage rides, camping, fishing, helicopter rides, archery, and live music. Kids 10 and under are free to enter. Camping is optional. Camping spots are not reserved; it is first-come, first-served. Lawn chairs are permitted. RV camping is adjacent to forest camping. Tumbleweed is a family-friendly festival. Prices vary.

June 8 – 15th Annual Kansas City International Dragon Boat Festival: opening ceremonies begin along Brush Creek on the Country Club Plaza. There will be dancing, singing, drumming, magic, acrobatics, skits, and martial arts performances. Arts and crafts activities are available for both children and adults. Booths offer a wide range of goods from jewelry to dragon parasols. Food trucks will be at the event. The sidewalks will be decorated with Chinese Lanterns and banners. The festival begins at 8:00am with the boats heading into the waters. It ends at 4:00pm.

June 21, 22 – Heartland Yoga Festival 2019: celebrate the summer solstice and International Yoga Day. Several yoga teachers will attend the event for demonstrations and guidance. It will include beverages, food, and vendors. The event hopes to connect people who like yoga to each other. It includes 3 community classes, 3 breakout workshops, music, and more. It will be held at the Unity Village Hotel and Conference Center in Unity Village, MO. It starts on Friday at 4:00pm and ends at 10:00pm the next day. Costs vary.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2019/03/31/spring-festivals-in-the-kansas-city-area-for-2019/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2019/03/31/spring-festivals-in-the-kansas-city-area-for-2019/

[nancygduarteus]

The White Flight From Football

Shantavia Jackson signed her three sons up for football to keep them out of trouble. As a single mother who works the night shift at a Home Depot warehouse 50 minutes away from her house, Jackson relies on the sport to shield the boys from gang activity in her rural Georgia county. They began in a local league five years ago when they were still little, their helmets like bobbleheads on their shoulders. Now 11, 12, and 14, they play in games across the region. Jackson says she passed up a daytime shift at Home Depot so that she can drive them to games and cheer them on.

Over time, the boys’ coaches have become mentors, making sure their athletes get good grades and stay off the streets. They take the boys on field trips to the beach and to Busch Gardens. Jackson’s eldest son, Marqwayvian McCoy—or Qway, as she calls him—has particularly thrived. Jackson says Qway has been diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar disorder, which sometimes manifests in bursts of anger and an inability to focus at school. Now his teammates help him when he gets stuck in his studies and look up to him for his prowess on the field. They’ve nicknamed him Live Wire because he can hit so hard.

Jackson dreams that Qway will soon make it out of their home in Colquitt County, a place marked by fields of crops and cotton bales the size of Mack trucks. Football could help him do that. As a middle schooler, he’s already been asked to practice with the high-school team, the Colquitt County Packers, a national powerhouse that in 2016 sent two dozen boys to college with full scholarships. Qway knows his mother doesn’t have the money to send him to college, so he studies websites that track top high-school-football athletes and watches all the football he can online, hoping to get better at the game.

Marqwayvian McCoy at home in his jersey (Dustin Chambers)

As Qway throws himself into football, the sport is facing a highly publicized reckoning more serious than any it has confronted since the Pop Warner youth-football program was established in 1929. Research suggests that tackle football can cause long-term brain injury, and as a result, many parents are telling their kids they can’t play. In the 2017–18 school year, 6.6 percent fewer high-school athletes participated in 11-player tackle football than in the 2008–09 school year, according to the National Federation of State High School Associations.

Yet not all parents are holding back their kids from tackle football at equal rates, which is creating a troubling racial divide. Kids in mostly white upper-income communities in the Northeast, Midwest, and West are leaving football for other sports such as lacrosse or baseball. But black kids in lower-income communities without a lot of other sports available are still flocking to football. In keeping with America’s general racial demographics, white boys continue to make up the majority of youth-tackle-football players, according to data from the Sports and Fitness Industry Association. But proportionally, the scales appear to be shifting. A recent survey of 50,000 eighth-, tenth-, and 12th-grade students found that around 44 percent of black boys play tackle football, compared with 29 percent of white boys, as analyzed by the University of Michigan sociologist Philip Veliz. Football at the high-school level is growing in popularity in states with the highest shares of black people, while it’s declining in majority-white states. Other recent studies suggest that more black adults support youth tackle football than white adults.

This trend has become particularly visible as majority-white towns such as Ridgefield, New Jersey, and Healdsburg, California, have dropped their varsity-football programs due to a lack of interest. Meanwhile, in Lee County, Georgia, a majority-black area near where the Jacksons live, a coach recently started a new travel football team for kids to provide them with guidance and mentorship. These racial divides show up in the football that America watches: Today black athletes make up nearly half of all Division I college-football players, up from 39 percent in 2000. White athletes make up 37 percent, down from 51 percent.

This divergence paints a troubling picture of how economic opportunity—or a lack thereof—governs which boys are incentivized to put their body and brain at risk to play. Depending on where families live, and what other options are available to them, they see either a game that is too violent to consider or one that is necessary and important, if risky. Millions of Americans still watch football; NFL ratings were up this season. That a distinct portion of families won’t let their children play creates a disturbing future for the country’s most popular game.

Sam and Megan Taggard’s colonial-style home in West Simsbury, Connecticut, has no shortage of sporting equipment. The couple’s four children stack bikes in the garage and clutter the wooden living-room floor with footballs and tennis balls. On the day I visited them last October, the Taggards’ 13-year-old son had two hockey games and their 7-year-old daughter had a basketball game. The family’s two younger sons horsed around a hockey goal in the living room.

Tackle football, however, was not on the agenda. “My kiddos aren’t playing,” Sam Taggard told me. Taggard played football years ago at Babson College, and he says his 44-year-old body is still bearing the damage: He had back surgery two years ago and is slow to get out of bed in the morning. He also did a clinical doctorate in physical therapy and has seen how debilitating head and neck injuries can be. Football requires kids to endanger their brain every single game, he said: “In football, you’re literally trying to decimate the person in front of you. If you’re not, you’re not playing well.”

Sam Taggard played football in college and had to have back surgery later in life. (Monica Jorge)

The Taggards aren’t the only family in their neighborhood pulling their boys from tackle football. At one of the day’s hockey games, I chatted with five other parents—all of whom were white—in the frigid stands of an ice-hockey rink on a private-school campus as their sons skated past. Four told me they wouldn’t let their son play. The fifth, a mother named Sharon Walsh, said she had objected, but her husband and son overruled her. She hated signing the waiver saying that she understood her child might die. Thankfully, she said, her son recently decided to give up football on his own.

Ron Perry, another hockey parent, echoed the sentiment that he wouldn’t let his son play tackle football, because of concerns about concussions and head injuries. A friend of his coaches a rec-football team and is always looking for players, Perry told me. But he wouldn’t recommend his son. “There’s just constant hitting,” he said. (Hockey, it should be noted, can also lead to head injuries. USA Hockey, which oversees high-school and club hockey in America, has been relatively proactive about safety, deciding in 2011 to ban bodychecking in games until age 13.)

A huge amount of evidence shows that football poses a risk to developing brains. Athletes who begin playing tackle football before the age of 12 have twice as much of a risk of behavioral problems later in life and three times as much of a risk of clinical depression as athletes who begin playing after 12, according to a 2017 Boston University study. A separate study from Wake Forest University found that boys who played just one season of tackle football between the ages of 8 and 13 had diminished functions in part of their brain.

One of the biggest risks of repeated head injuries is that players could develop CTE, or chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a condition that occurs when a protein called tau spreads through the brain, killing brain cells. CTE is linked with behavioral and personality changes, memory loss, and speech problems. Conversations about CTE tend to focus on the dangers of concussions, but brains can also be damaged by frequent hits to the head. A February 2018 study found that mice with repeated traumatic brain injuries, regardless of concussive symptoms, still had CTE. The condition has been found in the brains of many high-profile football players who committed suicide in recent years, including Junior Seau, Andre Waters, and Terry Long. One 2017 study of the brains of 111 former NFL players found that 110 of them had CTE.

Because of this research, a growing number of elite-level football players are trying to get kids to wait until high school to start playing tackle. By then, kids’ bodies are developed enough that head trauma may not be as detrimental, and the kids can better understand proper tackling procedures and control their body to follow them.

[Read: The future of detecting brain damage in football]

Even if kids wait until they’re in high school to play tackle football, though, they’ll need something else to do in the meantime. And that’s where Sam Taggard’s kids have an advantage over Shantavia Jackson’s. Throughout the country, affluent school districts offer more extracurricular activities than poorer districts, and upper-income parents can pay for more activities outside of school. On top of hockey, the Taggard’s oldest son, Jack, plays trombone in the band, volunteers to teach music to disabled kids, and participates in the chess and ski clubs. Jack expects to go to college whether or not he excels at sports. Both his parents did, and his father has a master’s in business administration. Shantavia Jackson is still working on getting her GED.

As brain-damage fears have grown, upper-income boys have started decamping to sports such as golf or lacrosse, which are less available in poorer communities. The kids are influenced by adults who have their own biases about the safety of football. Just 37 percent of white respondents told researchers that they would encourage kids to play the sport, while 57 percent of black respondents said they would, according to a working paper by the sociologists Andrew Lindner of Skidmore College and Daniel Hawkins of the University of Nebraska.

The Taggard family outside their home in Simsbury, Connecticut (Monica Jorge)

Now getting white kids just to play flag football can be a tough sell. Jim Schwantz, the mayor of Palatine, Illinois, and a former linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys and San Francisco 49ers, tried to start a flag-football league as an alternative for families in his area worried about concussions. Despite a strong start in 2012, interest fell each year in the mostly white suburbs where the league operated, because parents saw the sport as a gateway to tackle football. Schwantz decided to scrap the league in 2017.

Meanwhile, in Colquitt County, where the Jacksons live, football remains the biggest thing around. The county’s population is just 45,000, but it’s not unusual for the 10,000-seat high-school stadium to be full of local fans for Friday-night games. Timmy Barnes, a former player who later traveled with the football team as a police officer, has called Colquitt County “a community who only has football.” He wrote that after Rush Propst, the high-school coach, was nearly suspended after head-butting a player but saved when he apologized and the community rallied around him.

On a fall afternoon, I sat with Shantavia Jackson on the metal bleachers of a high-school stadium in Thomasville, Georgia, a town in a neighboring county near the Florida border, as successive teams of boys came to play in a tournament branded “The Battle of the Babies.” Jackson was there from the start. She wore a gray long-sleeved Colquitt County Cowboys T-shirt to support her youngest son, Chance, whose Pop Warner team played in an early game. She cheered for him while keeping her 12-year-old, Jyqwayvin, entertained in the stands. Qway’s undefeated team was playing a team from Atlanta in the last game of the day, so the family’s day was dominated by football.

The stands were mostly empty when the 6- and 7-year-olds played around noon under a scorching Georgia sun, but they began to fill up as games featured older boys, who could run, jump, and hit harder than the little kids. Amid the sounds of the tournament—the cowbells and hollering from the parents, a DJ blasting Drake from the end zone, the referee’s whistles and the grunts of adolescent boys counting jumping jacks behind the stands—no one seemed bothered by the thuds of the hits. These happened constantly: when the 6- and 7-year-olds ran smack into one another trying to get a fumbled football, when a 9-year-old caught a pass and got leveled by a boy twice his size, and when an 11-year-old got yanked around the neck and tackled by another 11-year-old.

[Read: How students’ brains are in danger on the field]

“Get him, come on!” a grandmother yelled at her grandson, a tiny 61-pound 9-year-old named Zain who was flattened by a boy 40 pounds heavier. Zain came off the field crying and his mother went to stroke his head. With the exception of Zain and his family, nearly every other player and family in the stands was black.

By the time Qway’s game rolled around, the stands were packed and the sun had set, turning the sky a purplish blue. The game was a rout; the team from Atlanta was faster, bigger, and more organized than Qway’s team, and so the boys started getting violent in frustration, tackling one another after the whistle, grabbing at necks to pull one another down. Parents yelled at the referees for what they perceived as missed penalties, and then turned on one another. “We’re in the sticks now!” one Atlanta parent yelled, taunting. Qway got hit in the groin, and Jackson stood at the bottom of the bleachers, her hand by her mouth, waiting to make sure he was okay.

Shantavia Jackson (Dustin Chambers)

Jackson knows football is dangerous. Her father broke his neck playing football when he was in high school; he was in the hospital for weeks and had to get screws in his spine. But she has a fatalistic attitude about injuries. Her boys could get injured in a car accident or a drive-by shooting. They could get injured if they joined gangs. “If it’s meant to happen, it’s going to happen. We can’t stop it,” she said. “You can get injured in any sport.” All she can do, she told me, is hug her boys and tell them she loves them before each game.

Other parents in the stands said similar things. One mother: “Boys will be boys. They need a little roughness.” Another: “You have to keep your child busy so they don’t have time to get in trouble.” One woman, Hope Moore, started her son in football when he was 6. At first he wasn’t interested in playing sports, Moore said, but she wanted to get him off the couch and away from video games. He fell in love with football from the moment he started playing. Moore used to worry about the hits, pulling him from games if she thought he was getting hurt. But the coaches told her that her son needed to learn to make mistakes, and how to get hit, she told me. Now he’s getting invited to live in other school districts so he can be on their teams. “It’s going to help him in college,” Moore said.

Even as the dangers associated with tackle football become more evident, the sport is growing more lucrative. Universities can make money from football on ticket revenue, broadcasting fees, licensing opportunities, and sponsorships through bowl games. Some of the biggest schools have doubled what they make from football over the past decade, according to Forbes. The football program at Texas A&M University, one of the nation’s top teams, brings in $148 million annually.

Seeing the revenue opportunities, many schools have expanded their football program and started offering more scholarships. Since 1988, the NCAA has added 62 Division I schools that are eligible to offer full-ride football scholarships, representing about 3,000 more scholarships available. By contrast, 31 fewer schools offer NCAA Division I scholarships for men’s swimming and diving than in 1988. “If [universities] started giving boys the same amount of scholarships in swimming, you’d see a whole bunch of poor kids jumping in the pool,” Robert W. Turner II, a professor at George Washington University who briefly played in the NFL, told me.

In communities like Colquitt County, many families see high-school seniors get full-ride football scholarships and aspire to something similar. Jackson’s boys, for instance, look up to Ty Lee, a former Colquitt County football player who was recruited to Middle Tennessee State University. They visit him when he’s home from school. Around 78 percent of black male athletes in the lowest income quintile expect to qualify for financial aid through an athletic scholarship, compared with 45 percent of white males in the same income bracket, according to a forthcoming paper by the Portland State University sociologists CJ Appleton and Dara Shifrer.

[Read: Football has always been a battleground in the culture war]

College recruiting can happen as early as middle school, which means kids can feel pressure to start playing sooner to hone their skills. If parents in Colquitt County were to prevent their kids from playing until they’re 14, their kids’ athleticism and knowledge of the game would be far behind that of boys who have been playing for years. Chad Mascoe Sr., who played football at the University of Central Florida and in the Arena Football League, and who now lives in Thomasville, Georgia, told me that his 14-year-old son, Chad Mascoe Jr., had three recruiting offers before he got into high school. Now, as a star freshman, Chad has 13 offers, according to his father. He was recently recruited to transfer to an elite boarding and sports-training school in Florida later this year.

The NFL starts marketing to children when they’re young, which has attracted criticism from groups who say the league’s material portrays football as safe and healthy, even as research shows that it is not. The league runs a website and app for kids that has 3 million registered users, and it has funded NFL-branded fitness and healthy-eating programs in more than 73,000 schools. A study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that the short-term health of students improved more in participating schools than in those not enrolled. In Colquitt County, schools got a visit from an Atlanta Falcons player through one of those programs in 2014. (The NFL declined to comment for this story.)

Even without the NFL’s presence, though, Colquitt County prioritizes football. In 2016, Colquitt County voters approved a ballot question that allowed the school board to use some proceeds of a sales tax for education funding to build a $3.7 million, 73,000-square-foot indoor multipurpose space that allows the football team to practice even in the heat of a Georgia summer. Propst, the high-school coach, made $141,000 last year, according to Open Georgia, which provides salary information for state and local employees. Most teachers at Colquitt County High School make less than half of what Propst does.

Colquitt County High School (Dustin Chambers)

Without football, the options for boys in Colquitt County are limited. Only 80 percent of incoming freshmen at Colquitt County high schools end up graduating. Of those who do, just 29 percent go on to four-year colleges. For those who stay, job options are bleak: More than two-thirds of households in Colquitt County make less than $50,000 a year. That’s less than half the median household income in Connecticut’s Hartford County, where the Taggards live.

The people who do seem to be pulling their kids from football in Colquitt County are the ones who can afford other opportunities. I talked to Todd Taylor, who is white and lives in Moultrie, Georgia, a few miles from Shantavia Jackson’s hometown of Norman Park. He played football and baseball at Colquitt County High, and his family has season tickets to Colquitt County Packers football games. But his wife really doesn’t want their 8-year-old son, Jud, to play, because of concussion dangers. Instead, Jud plays baseball and dives at Moss Farms Diving, a powerhouse facility in Moultrie that has trained dozens of divers who get college scholarships. Moss Farms offers training tuition-free to those who need it, but diving remains an expensive sport in America, requiring pool time and lots of travel. Sixteen percent of the Moss Farms roster is made up of people of color.

The divide on the football field makes it hard not to see how inequality in America is worsening health disparities and raising the specter of another, darker era of American history. In the early part of the 20th century, black Americans were prevented from buying homes in well-off neighborhoods by racially restrictive covenants, excluded from trade unions and the jobs they guaranteed, and paid less than their white counterparts. The segregation that resulted has long had health implications. Today simply the fact of being black can be hazardous to one’s health. Low-income black boys are more likely than low-income white boys to live in neighborhoods with persistent poverty, violence, and trauma. These neighborhoods also have little access to healthy foods.

Despite the benefits football can provide, it may also be worsening these health disparities. The medical care accessible to low-income families in poor neighborhoods may be helping to obscure the dangers of brain injuries. Low-income black communities have less access to good medical services and information that would emphasize the downsides of playing football, says Harry Edwards, a civil-rights activist and emeritus professor of sociology at the University of California at Berkeley. “Nobody advises them as to the long-term medical risks,” he told me. “They are out of the loop.” Black people who said they had followed news about concussions were less likely to encourage children to play football than others who hadn’t been following the news, according to Lindner and Hawkin’s study.

[Read: The worst part about recovering from a concussion]

When black boys from low-income families look for examples of men who have come from similar backgrounds and succeeded, they don’t have as many positive role models outside of sports and music. Black NFL players who came from poverty are featured in commercials selling products, sitting behind desks at halftime in tailored suits, holding up trophies. They’re in newspaper stories and TV specials in which they talk about growing up poor in the South, raised by a single mother, and making it big in the NFL. “The media serves up encouraging stories for black kids to consume,” says John Hoberman, the author of Darwin’s Athletes: How Sport Has Damaged Black America and Preserved the Myth of Race. Low-income black boys do not see the hundreds of athletes suffering in silence as their brain deteriorates, who ache when they get out of bed every morning, who damaged their body playing in high school or college but who didn’t even make it to the NFL.

While black boys are disproportionately getting channeled into a violent sport, white people are making the most money off of it. Seventy percent of NFL players are black, but only 9.9 percent of managers in the league office are. The NFL was just 52 percent black in 1985. Only two people of color are majority owners of NFL franchises: Shahid Khan, the Pakistani American owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars, and Kim Pegula, a Korean American businesswoman who is a partial owner of the Buffalo Bills. “If you’re going to avoid 21st-century gladiator circumstances in terms of football, the teams have to look something like the demographic representation of this nation,” Edwards told me.

Last year, the NFL expanded its Rooney Rule, which was first implemented in 2003 and seeks to diversify teams’ coaching and front-office staff. Still, the gladiatorial overtones are hard to overlook. Players who want to get recruited by NFL teams must attend the NFL Scouting Combine, a week-long showcase in which they perform mental and physical tests. Athletes’ hand size, arm length, and wingspan are measured during this event, and players are asked to stand naked but for their workout shorts so that team recruiters can see how they are built, according to Edwards, who also works as a consultant with the San Francisco 49ers. NFL and team executives, mostly white men, are evaluating the bodies of black players, deciding whether to make an investment.

Even as broadcast networks lost viewers generally, NFL ratings were up in 2018. Americans still appear to have a growing fascination with the sport, even if a majority-white segment of the population doesn’t want their children to play it.

Without a reversal in economic fortunes for poor communities across the country, football could one day become a sport played almost exclusively by black athletes, while still enjoyed by everyone. Black athletes—who already make up the majority of players in the most dangerous on-field positions—would continue to suffer from long-term brain damage, their life cut short by dementia and the scourge of CTE. Black boys would continue to be drawn to a sport that could make their life painful and short. Everyone else would sit back and watch.

Efforts are under way to try to make football safer. Youth leagues are implementing concussion protocols, lessening the amount of hitting players do in practice, and even distributing helmets with special sensors that analyze whether an athlete has gotten a concussion. Dartmouth College eliminated live tackling in all practices in 2010; other Ivy League schools adopted similar rules in 2016. The NFL has made some changes, too, adding a concussion protocol in 2009 and altering kickoff and tackling rules to lower the risk of injury. The 2018 NFL season saw a 28 percent decrease in concussions, compared with the previous year.

Still, the league can’t do much about the fact that football, more than any other sport, requires players to run into one another over and over again and fall to the ground. “Football at the elite level is about as close as you can get to war and still stay civil,” Edwards said. Concussion protocols can’t erase the research that suggests that primarily brain trauma, not concussions, leads to CTE.

The Colquitt County Packers practice field (Dustin Chambers)

Some lawmakers want the government to get involved by prohibiting kids from tackling in football before high school, or by banning youth tackle football entirely. Bills introduced in five states to restrict tackle football have faced backlash. “To demonize just this sport is unfair. It’s illogical, and frankly, it’s downright un-American,” Mike Wagner, the executive commissioner of Pop Warner’s Southern California conference, said in reaction to the Safe Youth Football Act, a failed California bill introduced last year that would have set a minimum age for organized tackle-football leagues.

The disappearance of tackle football could be a real blow to some communities, unless something changes so that those places offer more opportunity and less peril for low-income black boys. If tackle football were banned, for instance, Shantavia Jackson’s boys would lose the coaches who look out for them. Without football, they wouldn’t have something to look forward to on weekends, or as big of a community of teammates. They might not have a dream they can pursue that’s quite as tangible and achievable as playing college football.

Before she had kids, Jackson wanted to leave Colquitt County, but she ended up staying in the same town where her father and grandmother still live. The stakes are higher for her sons, she says, especially for Qway, whose mental-health condition sometimes sets him apart. He needs to be somewhere bigger, with more people like him, she told me. “There’s really nothing much here for him,” she said.

White parents may be doing the best thing for their sons by pulling them from tackle football. But parents of black boys in the rural South are facing a different reality, Jackson says. She believes that she is being a good parent if she gets her sons excited about tackle football. Their opportunities grow if they learn how to hit and tackle and run—how to be as much of a live wire—as well as they possibly can.

from Health News And Updates https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/02/football-white-flight-racial-divide/581623/?utm_source=feed

[ionecoffman]

The White Flight From Football

Shantavia Jackson signed her three sons up for football to keep them out of trouble. As a single mother who works the night shift at a Home Depot warehouse 50 minutes away from her house, Jackson relies on the sport to shield the boys from gang activity in her rural Georgia county. They began in a local league five years ago when they were still little, their helmets like bobbleheads on their shoulders. Now 11, 12, and 14, they play in games across the region. Jackson says she passed up a daytime shift at Home Depot so that she can drive them to games and cheer them on.

Over time, the boys’ coaches have become mentors, making sure their athletes get good grades and stay off the streets. They take the boys on field trips to the beach and to Busch Gardens. Jackson’s eldest son, Marqwayvian McCoy—or Qway, as she calls him—has particularly thrived. Jackson says Qway has been diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar disorder, which sometimes manifests in bursts of anger and an inability to focus at school. Now his teammates help him when he gets stuck in his studies and look up to him for his prowess on the field. They’ve nicknamed him Live Wire because he can hit so hard.

Jackson dreams that Qway will soon make it out of their home in Colquitt County, a place marked by fields of crops and cotton bales the size of Mack trucks. Football could help him do that. As a middle schooler, he’s already been asked to practice with the high-school team, the Colquitt County Packers, a national powerhouse that in 2016 sent two dozen boys to college with full scholarships. Qway knows his mother doesn’t have the money to send him to college, so he studies websites that track top high-school-football athletes and watches all the football he can online, hoping to get better at the game.

Marqwayvian McCoy at home in his jersey (Dustin Chambers)

As Qway throws himself into football, the sport is facing a highly publicized reckoning more serious than any it has confronted since the Pop Warner youth-football program was established in 1929. Research suggests that tackle football can cause long-term brain injury, and as a result, many parents are telling their kids they can’t play. In the 2017–18 school year, 6.6 percent fewer high-school athletes participated in 11-player tackle football than in the 2008–09 school year, according to the National Federation of State High School Associations.

Yet not all parents are holding back their kids from tackle football at equal rates, which is creating a troubling racial divide. Kids in mostly white upper-income communities in the Northeast, Midwest, and West are leaving football for other sports such as lacrosse or baseball. But black kids in lower-income communities without a lot of other sports available are still flocking to football. In keeping with America’s general racial demographics, white boys continue to make up the majority of youth-tackle-football players, according to data from the Sports and Fitness Industry Association. But proportionally, the scales appear to be shifting. A recent survey of 50,000 eighth-, tenth-, and 12th-grade students found that around 44 percent of black boys play tackle football, compared with 29 percent of white boys, as analyzed by the University of Michigan sociologist Philip Veliz. Football at the high-school level is growing in popularity in states with the highest shares of black people, while it’s declining in majority-white states. Other recent studies suggest that more black adults support youth tackle football than white adults.

This trend has become particularly visible as majority-white towns such as Ridgefield, New Jersey, and Healdsburg, California, have dropped their varsity-football programs due to a lack of interest. Meanwhile, in Lee County, Georgia, a majority-black area near where the Jacksons live, a coach recently started a new travel football team for kids to provide them with guidance and mentorship. These racial divides show up in the football that America watches: Today black athletes make up nearly half of all Division I college-football players, up from 39 percent in 2000. White athletes make up 37 percent, down from 51 percent.

This divergence paints a troubling picture of how economic opportunity—or a lack thereof—governs which boys are incentivized to put their body and brain at risk to play. Depending on where families live, and what other options are available to them, they see either a game that is too violent to consider or one that is necessary and important, if risky. Millions of Americans still watch football; NFL ratings were up this season. That a distinct portion of families won’t let their children play creates a disturbing future for the country’s most popular game.

Sam and Megan Taggard’s colonial-style home in West Simsbury, Connecticut, has no shortage of sporting equipment. The couple’s four children stack bikes in the garage and clutter the wooden living-room floor with footballs and tennis balls. On the day I visited them last October, the Taggards’ 13-year-old son had two hockey games and their 7-year-old daughter had a basketball game. The family’s two younger sons horsed around a hockey goal in the living room.

Tackle football, however, was not on the agenda. “My kiddos aren’t playing,” Sam Taggard told me. Taggard played football years ago at Babson College, and he says his 44-year-old body is still bearing the damage: He had back surgery two years ago and is slow to get out of bed in the morning. He also did a clinical doctorate in physical therapy and has seen how debilitating head and neck injuries can be. Football requires kids to endanger their brain every single game, he said: “In football, you’re literally trying to decimate the person in front of you. If you’re not, you’re not playing well.”

Sam Taggard played football in college and had to have back surgery later in life. (Monica Jorge)

The Taggards aren’t the only family in their neighborhood pulling their boys from tackle football. At one of the day’s hockey games, I chatted with five other parents—all of whom were white—in the frigid stands of an ice-hockey rink on a private-school campus as their sons skated past. Four told me they wouldn’t let their son play. The fifth, a mother named Sharon Walsh, said she had objected, but her husband and son overruled her. She hated signing the waiver saying that she understood her child might die. Thankfully, she said, her son recently decided to give up football on his own.

Ron Perry, another hockey parent, echoed the sentiment that he wouldn’t let his son play tackle football, because of concerns about concussions and head injuries. A friend of his coaches a rec-football team and is always looking for players, Perry told me. But he wouldn’t recommend his son. “There’s just constant hitting,” he said. (Hockey, it should be noted, can also lead to head injuries. USA Hockey, which oversees high-school and club hockey in America, has been relatively proactive about safety, deciding in 2011 to ban bodychecking in games until age 13.)

A huge amount of evidence shows that football poses a risk to developing brains. Athletes who begin playing tackle football before the age of 12 have twice as much of a risk of behavioral problems later in life and three times as much of a risk of clinical depression as athletes who begin playing after 12, according to a 2017 Boston University study. A separate study from Wake Forest University found that boys who played just one season of tackle football between the ages of 8 and 13 had diminished functions in part of their brain.

One of the biggest risks of repeated head injuries is that players could develop CTE, or chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a condition that occurs when a protein called tau spreads through the brain, killing brain cells. CTE is linked with behavioral and personality changes, memory loss, and speech problems. Conversations about CTE tend to focus on the dangers of concussions, but brains can also be damaged by frequent hits to the head. A February 2018 study found that mice with repeated traumatic brain injuries, regardless of concussive symptoms, still had CTE. The condition has been found in the brains of many high-profile football players who committed suicide in recent years, including Junior Seau, Andre Waters, and Terry Long. One 2017 study of the brains of 111 former NFL players found that 110 of them had CTE.

Because of this research, a growing number of elite-level football players are trying to get kids to wait until high school to start playing tackle. By then, kids’ bodies are developed enough that head trauma may not be as detrimental, and the kids can better understand proper tackling procedures and control their body to follow them.

[Read: The future of detecting brain damage in football]

Even if kids wait until they’re in high school to play tackle football, though, they’ll need something else to do in the meantime. And that’s where Sam Taggard’s kids have an advantage over Shantavia Jackson’s. Throughout the country, affluent school districts offer more extracurricular activities than poorer districts, and upper-income parents can pay for more activities outside of school. On top of hockey, the Taggard’s oldest son, Jack, plays trombone in the band, volunteers to teach music to disabled kids, and participates in the chess and ski clubs. Jack expects to go to college whether or not he excels at sports. Both his parents did, and his father has a master’s in business administration. Shantavia Jackson is still working on getting her GED.

As brain-damage fears have grown, upper-income boys have started decamping to sports such as golf or lacrosse, which are less available in poorer communities. The kids are influenced by adults who have their own biases about the safety of football. Just 37 percent of white respondents told researchers that they would encourage kids to play the sport, while 57 percent of black respondents said they would, according to a working paper by the sociologists Andrew Lindner of Skidmore College and Daniel Hawkins of the University of Nebraska.

The Taggard family outside their home in Simsbury, Connecticut (Monica Jorge)

Now getting white kids just to play flag football can be a tough sell. Jim Schwantz, the mayor of Palatine, Illinois, and a former linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys and San Francisco 49ers, tried to start a flag-football league as an alternative for families in his area worried about concussions. Despite a strong start in 2012, interest fell each year in the mostly white suburbs where the league operated, because parents saw the sport as a gateway to tackle football. Schwantz decided to scrap the league in 2017.

Meanwhile, in Colquitt County, where the Jacksons live, football remains the biggest thing around. The county’s population is just 45,000, but it’s not unusual for the 10,000-seat high-school stadium to be full of local fans for Friday-night games. Timmy Barnes, a former player who later traveled with the football team as a police officer, has called Colquitt County “a community who only has football.” He wrote that after Rush Propst, the high-school coach, was nearly suspended after head-butting a player but saved when he apologized and the community rallied around him.

On a fall afternoon, I sat with Shantavia Jackson on the metal bleachers of a high-school stadium in Thomasville, Georgia, a town in a neighboring county near the Florida border, as successive teams of boys came to play in a tournament branded “The Battle of the Babies.” Jackson was there from the start. She wore a gray long-sleeved Colquitt County Cowboys T-shirt to support her youngest son, Chance, whose Pop Warner team played in an early game. She cheered for him while keeping her 12-year-old, Jyqwayvin, entertained in the stands. Qway’s undefeated team was playing a team from Atlanta in the last game of the day, so the family’s day was dominated by football.

The stands were mostly empty when the 6- and 7-year-olds played around noon under a scorching Georgia sun, but they began to fill up as games featured older boys, who could run, jump, and hit harder than the little kids. Amid the sounds of the tournament—the cowbells and hollering from the parents, a DJ blasting Drake from the end zone, the referee’s whistles and the grunts of adolescent boys counting jumping jacks behind the stands—no one seemed bothered by the thuds of the hits. These happened constantly: when the 6- and 7-year-olds ran smack into one another trying to get a fumbled football, when a 9-year-old caught a pass and got leveled by a boy twice his size, and when an 11-year-old got yanked around the neck and tackled by another 11-year-old.

[Read: How students’ brains are in danger on the field]

“Get him, come on!” a grandmother yelled at her grandson, a tiny 61-pound 9-year-old named Zain who was flattened by a boy 40 pounds heavier. Zain came off the field crying and his mother went to stroke his head. With the exception of Zain and his family, nearly every other player and family in the stands was black.

By the time Qway’s game rolled around, the stands were packed and the sun had set, turning the sky a purplish blue. The game was a rout; the team from Atlanta was faster, bigger, and more organized than Qway’s team, and so the boys started getting violent in frustration, tackling one another after the whistle, grabbing at necks to pull one another down. Parents yelled at the referees for what they perceived as missed penalties, and then turned on one another. “We’re in the sticks now!” one Atlanta parent yelled, taunting. Qway got hit in the groin, and Jackson stood at the bottom of the bleachers, her hand by her mouth, waiting to make sure he was okay.

Shantavia Jackson (Dustin Chambers)

Jackson knows football is dangerous. Her father broke his neck playing football when he was in high school; he was in the hospital for weeks and had to get screws in his spine. But she has a fatalistic attitude about injuries. Her boys could get injured in a car accident or a drive-by shooting. They could get injured if they joined gangs. “If it’s meant to happen, it’s going to happen. We can’t stop it,” she said. “You can get injured in any sport.” All she can do, she told me, is hug her boys and tell them she loves them before each game.

Other parents in the stands said similar things. One mother: “Boys will be boys. They need a little roughness.” Another: “You have to keep your child busy so they don’t have time to get in trouble.” One woman, Hope Moore, started her son in football when he was 6. At first he wasn’t interested in playing sports, Moore said, but she wanted to get him off the couch and away from video games. He fell in love with football from the moment he started playing. Moore used to worry about the hits, pulling him from games if she thought he was getting hurt. But the coaches told her that her son needed to learn to make mistakes, and how to get hit, she told me. Now he’s getting invited to live in other school districts so he can be on their teams. “It’s going to help him in college,” Moore said.

Even as the dangers associated with tackle football become more evident, the sport is growing more lucrative. Universities can make money from football on ticket revenue, broadcasting fees, licensing opportunities, and sponsorships through bowl games. Some of the biggest schools have doubled what they make from football over the past decade, according to Forbes. The football program at Texas A&M University, one of the nation’s top teams, brings in $148 million annually.

Seeing the revenue opportunities, many schools have expanded their football program and started offering more scholarships. Since 1988, the NCAA has added 62 Division I schools that are eligible to offer full-ride football scholarships, representing about 3,000 more scholarships available. By contrast, 31 fewer schools offer NCAA Division I scholarships for men’s swimming and diving than in 1988. “If [universities] started giving boys the same amount of scholarships in swimming, you’d see a whole bunch of poor kids jumping in the pool,” Robert W. Turner II, a professor at George Washington University who briefly played in the NFL, told me.

In communities like Colquitt County, many families see high-school seniors get full-ride football scholarships and aspire to something similar. Jackson’s boys, for instance, look up to Ty Lee, a former Colquitt County football player who was recruited to Middle Tennessee State University. They visit him when he’s home from school. Around 78 percent of black male athletes in the lowest income quintile expect to qualify for financial aid through an athletic scholarship, compared with 45 percent of white males in the same income bracket, according to a forthcoming paper by the Portland State University sociologists CJ Appleton and Dara Shifrer.

[Read: Football has always been a battleground in the culture war]

College recruiting can happen as early as middle school, which means kids can feel pressure to start playing sooner to hone their skills. If parents in Colquitt County were to prevent their kids from playing until they’re 14, their kids’ athleticism and knowledge of the game would be far behind that of boys who have been playing for years. Chad Mascoe Sr., who played football at the University of Central Florida and in the Arena Football League, and who now lives in Thomasville, Georgia, told me that his 14-year-old son, Chad Mascoe Jr., had three recruiting offers before he got into high school. Now, as a star freshman, Chad has 13 offers, according to his father. He was recently recruited to transfer to an elite boarding and sports-training school in Florida later this year.

The NFL starts marketing to children when they’re young, which has attracted criticism from groups who say the league’s material portrays football as safe and healthy, even as research shows that it is not. The league runs a website and app for kids that has 3 million registered users, and it has funded NFL-branded fitness and healthy-eating programs in more than 73,000 schools. A study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that the short-term health of students improved more in participating schools than in those not enrolled. In Colquitt County, schools got a visit from an Atlanta Falcons player through one of those programs in 2014. (The NFL declined to comment for this story.)

Even without the NFL’s presence, though, Colquitt County prioritizes football. In 2016, Colquitt County voters approved a ballot question that allowed the school board to use some proceeds of a sales tax for education funding to build a $3.7 million, 73,000-square-foot indoor multipurpose space that allows the football team to practice even in the heat of a Georgia summer. Propst, the high-school coach, made $141,000 last year, according to Open Georgia, which provides salary information for state and local employees. Most teachers at Colquitt County High School make less than half of what Propst does.

Colquitt County High School (Dustin Chambers)

Without football, the options for boys in Colquitt County are limited. Only 80 percent of incoming freshmen at Colquitt County high schools end up graduating. Of those who do, just 29 percent go on to four-year colleges. For those who stay, job options are bleak: More than two-thirds of households in Colquitt County make less than $50,000 a year. That’s less than half the median household income in Connecticut’s Hartford County, where the Taggards live.

The people who do seem to be pulling their kids from football in Colquitt County are the ones who can afford other opportunities. I talked to Todd Taylor, who is white and lives in Moultrie, Georgia, a few miles from Shantavia Jackson’s hometown of Norman Park. He played football and baseball at Colquitt County High, and his family has season tickets to Colquitt County Packers football games. But his wife really doesn’t want their 8-year-old son, Jud, to play, because of concussion dangers. Instead, Jud plays baseball and dives at Moss Farms Diving, a powerhouse facility in Moultrie that has trained dozens of divers who get college scholarships. Moss Farms offers training tuition-free to those who need it, but diving remains an expensive sport in America, requiring pool time and lots of travel. Sixteen percent of the Moss Farms roster is made up of people of color.

The divide on the football field makes it hard not to see how inequality in America is worsening health disparities and raising the specter of another, darker era of American history. In the early part of the 20th century, black Americans were prevented from buying homes in well-off neighborhoods by racially restrictive covenants, excluded from trade unions and the jobs they guaranteed, and paid less than their white counterparts. The segregation that resulted has long had health implications. Today simply the fact of being black can be hazardous to one’s health. Low-income black boys are more likely than low-income white boys to live in neighborhoods with persistent poverty, violence, and trauma. These neighborhoods also have little access to healthy foods.

Despite the benefits football can provide, it may also be worsening these health disparities. The medical care accessible to low-income families in poor neighborhoods may be helping to obscure the dangers of brain injuries. Low-income black communities have less access to good medical services and information that would emphasize the downsides of playing football, says Harry Edwards, a civil-rights activist and emeritus professor of sociology at the University of California at Berkeley. “Nobody advises them as to the long-term medical risks,” he told me. “They are out of the loop.” Black people who said they had followed news about concussions were less likely to encourage children to play football than others who hadn’t been following the news, according to Lindner and Hawkin’s study.

[Read: The worst part about recovering from a concussion]

When black boys from low-income families look for examples of men who have come from similar backgrounds and succeeded, they don’t have as many positive role models outside of sports and music. Black NFL players who came from poverty are featured in commercials selling products, sitting behind desks at halftime in tailored suits, holding up trophies. They’re in newspaper stories and TV specials in which they talk about growing up poor in the South, raised by a single mother, and making it big in the NFL. “The media serves up encouraging stories for black kids to consume,” says John Hoberman, the author of Darwin’s Athletes: How Sport Has Damaged Black America and Preserved the Myth of Race. Low-income black boys do not see the hundreds of athletes suffering in silence as their brain deteriorates, who ache when they get out of bed every morning, who damaged their body playing in high school or college but who didn’t even make it to the NFL.

While black boys are disproportionately getting channeled into a violent sport, white people are making the most money off of it. Seventy percent of NFL players are black, but only 9.9 percent of managers in the league office are. The NFL was just 52 percent black in 1985. Only two people of color are majority owners of NFL franchises: Shahid Khan, the Pakistani American owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars, and Kim Pegula, a Korean American businesswoman who is a partial owner of the Buffalo Bills. “If you’re going to avoid 21st-century gladiator circumstances in terms of football, the teams have to look something like the demographic representation of this nation,” Edwards told me.

Last year, the NFL expanded its Rooney Rule, which was first implemented in 2003 and seeks to diversify teams’ coaching and front-office staff. Still, the gladiatorial overtones are hard to overlook. Players who want to get recruited by NFL teams must attend the NFL Scouting Combine, a week-long showcase in which they perform mental and physical tests. Athletes’ hand size, arm length, and wingspan are measured during this event, and players are asked to stand naked but for their workout shorts so that team recruiters can see how they are built, according to Edwards, who also works as a consultant with the San Francisco 49ers. NFL and team executives, mostly white men, are evaluating the bodies of black players, deciding whether to make an investment.

Even as broadcast networks lost viewers generally, NFL ratings were up in 2018. Americans still appear to have a growing fascination with the sport, even if a majority-white segment of the population doesn’t want their children to play it.

Without a reversal in economic fortunes for poor communities across the country, football could one day become a sport played almost exclusively by black athletes, while still enjoyed by everyone. Black athletes—who already make up the majority of players in the most dangerous on-field positions—would continue to suffer from long-term brain damage, their life cut short by dementia and the scourge of CTE. Black boys would continue to be drawn to a sport that could make their life painful and short. Everyone else would sit back and watch.

Efforts are under way to try to make football safer. Youth leagues are implementing concussion protocols, lessening the amount of hitting players do in practice, and even distributing helmets with special sensors that analyze whether an athlete has gotten a concussion. Dartmouth College eliminated live tackling in all practices in 2010; other Ivy League schools adopted similar rules in 2016. The NFL has made some changes, too, adding a concussion protocol in 2009 and altering kickoff and tackling rules to lower the risk of injury. The 2018 NFL season saw a 28 percent decrease in concussions, compared with the previous year.

Still, the league can’t do much about the fact that football, more than any other sport, requires players to run into one another over and over again and fall to the ground. “Football at the elite level is about as close as you can get to war and still stay civil,” Edwards said. Concussion protocols can’t erase the research that suggests that primarily brain trauma, not concussions, leads to CTE.

The Colquitt County Packers practice field (Dustin Chambers)

Some lawmakers want the government to get involved by prohibiting kids from tackling in football before high school, or by banning youth tackle football entirely. Bills introduced in five states to restrict tackle football have faced backlash. “To demonize just this sport is unfair. It’s illogical, and frankly, it’s downright un-American,” Mike Wagner, the executive commissioner of Pop Warner’s Southern California conference, said in reaction to the Safe Youth Football Act, a failed California bill introduced last year that would have set a minimum age for organized tackle-football leagues.

The disappearance of tackle football could be a real blow to some communities, unless something changes so that those places offer more opportunity and less peril for low-income black boys. If tackle football were banned, for instance, Shantavia Jackson’s boys would lose the coaches who look out for them. Without football, they wouldn’t have something to look forward to on weekends, or as big of a community of teammates. They might not have a dream they can pursue that’s quite as tangible and achievable as playing college football.

Before she had kids, Jackson wanted to leave Colquitt County, but she ended up staying in the same town where her father and grandmother still live. The stakes are higher for her sons, she says, especially for Qway, whose mental-health condition sometimes sets him apart. He needs to be somewhere bigger, with more people like him, she told me. “There’s really nothing much here for him,” she said.

White parents may be doing the best thing for their sons by pulling them from tackle football. But parents of black boys in the rural South are facing a different reality, Jackson says. She believes that she is being a good parent if she gets her sons excited about tackle football. Their opportunities grow if they learn how to hit and tackle and run—how to be as much of a live wire—as well as they possibly can.

Article source here:The Atlantic

[tyleroakley-obsessed]

  It’s a bit hard to believe, but we are only a few weeks away from Christmas! Parades, trips to meet Santa and Holiday Markets are in full effect, but just in case you need a little help finalizing your gifting list (who’s been naughty and who’s been nice?!) here’s a round up of some of the coolest local businesses to shop with this Holiday Season. Shopping small during this time of year is not only an amazing way to help support local businesses and give back to your community, but it also ensures that you’ll be able to find some really unique gifts. 17 Berkshire 2094 Trimble Place Memphis TN 38104 Photo Credit Link Sweet treats like rose-flavored macarons and mouth-watering gingerbread cupcakes are this Overton Square shop’s specialty, but you can also find cute calendars, teas, stationary and books here. Just try not to keep them all for yourself. Ha! Cotton Tails Memphis 389 Perkins Ext, Memphis, TN 38117 Photo Link Shopping for your littles and want to find unique clothing and accessories with a hint of nostalgia? Cotton Tails has you covered. Downtown Candle Company 107 G.E. Patterson Ave, Memphis TN 38103 Photo Link Everyone loves candles, and Downtown Candle Company make some of the best around. Natural and soy-based, they have a wide variety of scents to choose from. Grab a few to use as stocking stuffers or for Secret Santa at work! They usually have lumberjack-inspired mandles (manly-smelling candles). Eclectic Eye 242 South Cooper Street, Memphis TN 38104 Photo Link Eclectic Eye is the go to place in Memphis when you’re ready to step outside the box and try something a little more fashion forward with your frames. Whether you’re shopping for new every day glasses or sunnies, every frame you find here is unique. They also have wonderful local art on display – most of their gallery openings are listed on the blog calendar, great holiday decorations, and a cool mural on the side of the business! Falling Into Place 2613 Broad Avenue, Memphis TN 3112 Photo Link The cutest little gift shop on Broad Avenue, Falling Into Place is a great source for smaller, independent jewelry brands, art work, and wellness products (think bath bombs + scrubs). If you’re looking for Memphis-themed gifts or candles made for each zodiac sign (mine smells like a sweet apple cider!) this adorable spot is a great option.  Five In One Social Club 2535 Broad Avenue Memphis, TN 38112 Photo Link The weird little place your friends told you about. You can find board games, adult coloring books and other cool, but off-kilter gifts here. Five In One also offers a ton of the most unique Memphis-themed gifts as well (if you ask me where to get Memphis “stuff” as a gift, I will send you here). They also have gift certificates for arts-n-crafts classes that are – speaking from experience – a super fun friend-date or date-date night idea. Green Goddess Popcorn & Tea 3078 Summer Ave, Memphis, TN 38112 Photo Link When you need a gift that anyone would love (but also isn’t overly personal), specialty flavored popcorn, pastries and teas are pretty legit. Green Goddess’ products are 100% plant-based, so they make for a healthy but still yummy alternative to your normal holiday goodies. Maggie’s Pharm 13 N. Florence Street, Memphis TN 38104 Photo Link For the friends that loves herbs, oils and other mystical things, Maggie’s Pharm the best place to find gifts for those friends who are all about living a more holistic life. They also have my favorite smelling candle on earth: Tomato Plant. I know it sounds weird, but trust me, it’s magnificent. I also appreciate their all-natural lotions, soaps, and shampoos that are created onsite. Mbabazi 2553 Broad Ave, Memphis TN 38112 Photo link Mbabazi House of Style is a Ugandan Fair Trade business that hand-makes unique and beautiful clothes, accessories, and jewelry out of traditional African material. Shop here for the fashionista friend that is bold and loves to experiment with her personal style. Mrs. Post Stationery 3092 Poplar Ave #10, Memphis, TN 38111 Photo Link Add this to your list if you’re shopping for any paper lover (of any age!) that is obsessed with cute stationary, style coffee table books and other little keepsakes. My Cup Of Tea 3028 Carnes Memphis, 38111 Photo Link Created to help promote the enjoyment of tea and the practice of hospitality, a gift basket from My Cup of Tea would be perfect for that “Zen” friend that understands the importance of slowing down and showing gratitude. Herbal teas, black teas, white teas, caffeinated and decaf – you can find My Cup of Tea at their online shop, in-person retail shop, or at one of these local retailers. They have holiday flavors plus fun Memphis flavors like “Bluff City Chai”, “Orange Mound Porch Peach”, and “Memphis Afternoon Chocolate Mint”.  Novel Memphis 387 Perkins Ext. Memphis, TN 38117 Photo Link Have a friend that loves to read? Novel is the place to go for new book releases. They also carry a few small gift options (think candles, notebooks and planners) so you can create your own little gift baskets when you shop. There’s also a Memphis section for books about the city and written by Memphians! Oak Hall 6150 Poplar Ave, Suite 146, Memphis TN, 38119 Photo Link Shopping for someone that loves a little bit of luxury? Oak Hall curates a wide range of designer brands like Rag & Bone, Alice & Olivia, and All Saints, so you can easily scratch your label loving bestie off of your list. Pedaltown Bicycle Company 2547 Broad Ave, Memphis TN 38112 Photo Link You can’t celebrate Christmas without SOMEONE getting a bike, and Pedaltown has some pretty nice options for both the kiddos and adults. Southern Muse 2140 West Poplar Avenue, Suite 104, Collierville, TN 38017 Photo Link The largest women’s boutique in Collierville, Southern Muse offers stylish pieces with a touch of edge. In addition to apparel, they have a wide variety of accessories, home goods, and other fun little gifts to nab for your girls. Stock & Belle 387 S. Main Street, Memphis, TN 38103 Photo Link This downtown based general store is a great place to shop when you need to cover a lot of bases. You can find clothing + accessories for both men and women, artwork, furniture and other little curiosities. The Ivory Closet 2095 Madison Ave, Memphis, TN 38104 Photo Link High style at affordable pricing is what The Ivory Closet is known for, so this cute little boutique is perfect for finding gifts for the friend that wants a wardrobe update. They also carry makeup, candles and other wellness products, so don’t feel bad if you decide to #treatyself while shopping for someone else. plus a few more ideas… Doc’s Wine, Spirits, & More 6645 Poplar Avenue Suite 101, Germantown TN 38138 Photo Link   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Doc’s Wine, Spirits & More (@docsmemphis) on Nov 17, 2018 at 8:07am PST Doc’s is more than just a liquor store – they offer a great selection of local foodie products, from cheese straws to baked goods to candy and other treats. Plus, if you are shopping for someone who likes to drink local, Doc’s has their own line of locally-owned wines and spirits. I recommend chatting with one of the knowledgable staffers and perhaps choosing something from their Doc 52 whiskey line, which is selling like hotcakes. Hot whiskey cakes, maybe. The Peanut Shoppe 24 S. Main, Memphis TN 38103 Photo link   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by The Peanut Shoppe, 24 S. Main (@thepeanutshoppememphis) on Dec 5, 2018 at 3:15pm PST If you need some sweet or savory treats for stocking stuffers, coworker gifts, Dirty Santa parties, or just to eat in your car by yourself while you sit in holiday traffic…go see the friendly folks at The Peanut Shoppe on Main Street downtown. Personal service, a super cool space, and delicious variety of all kinds of candied, chocolate-covered, and savory nuts. Hollywood Feed Various Locations (see the list!) Photo Link   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Hollywood Feed Fresh Bakery (@hollywoodfeedfreshbakery) on Feb 11, 2017 at 12:03pm PST I know some of y’all are shopping for your pets this holiday season just like they’re people. I fully support this, so fill up their stockings with locally-made, all-natural treats and toys from Hollywood Feed. Yes, Hollyweed Feed is a chain, but they’re Memphis based and many of their goodies for cats or dogs are made right here in the MidSouth, i.e., bakery treats, jerky, catnip-infused cat toys, and Mississippi Made Dog beds. See a lot more here. For someone who already has enough “things” there are plenty of Memphis experiences you can gift them this holiday season… Memphis Express AAF Tickets Photo link   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Memphis Express (@aafexpress) on Nov 29, 2018 at 10:31am PST If your gift-recipient is a sportsperson or just a die-hard Memphis homer, go for a ticket package for the brand new Alliance of American Football team, which will play five home games at the Liberty Bowl in Memphis. These folks are passionate about Memphis and are passionate about creating an experience that’s convenient, personalize, and exciting. Season tickets start at $75 for the Family Section and $150 for “The Hub” aka the section for loud and appropriately rowdy fans. 2019 World Golf Championship (July 22-28, 2019) TPC Southwind, Memphis TN Photo link   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by TPC Southwind (@tpcsouthwind) on Jun 10, 2018 at 6:18am PDT It’s no small deal that PGA World Golf Championship is moving to Memphis next summer. Yes, Tiger Woods is slated to be here for this, the FedEx St. Jude Invitational. Though it may be a while before your gift recipient can use this gift – they’ll be looking forward to it (and thinking about your generosity) until July. They’re offering three holiday ticket packages from $99 – $175, plus fees. Get all the details here, and order by Dec. 19 to receive by Christmas. ALSO! If you want to try to win some tickets, I Love Memphis is doing some giveaways. Just be sure you subscribe to blog posts here, and follow ILM on Instagram here (and sign up for notifications so the algorithm doesn’t steal your free ticket chances away). Playhouse on the Square Holiday Packages 66 S. Cooper Street Memphis TN 38104 Photo link.   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Playhouse on the Square (@playhouseonthesquare) on Nov 25, 2018 at 6:51am PST Celebrate the holidays and the 50th (wow!) season of Playhouse on the Square this year by gifting a ticket package. The packages start with half-subscriptions for four tickets starting at $95, and go all the way up to 8-pack, 12-pack, and 16-pack subscriptions for shows like Tuck Everlasting, Cabaret, and Matilda. Memphis 901 FC Season Tickets AutoZone Park Photo link.   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Memphis 901 FC (@memphis901fc) on Nov 22, 2018 at 6:34am PST Welcome our new United Soccer League football club to the Bluff City with season tickets for you and a pal. Y’all can enjoy your gifts all spring; there are 17 regular season games that start in March. Supporters Section season tickets start at $170 for the whole season, or spring for $300 for sidelines tickets. If the matches are anything like the 901 Day exhibition game this year, we’re in for an exciting inaugural year of pro soccer in Memphis. City Tasting Tour Photo link.   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Cultural Food Tasting Tours (@citytastingtours) on Nov 25, 2018 at 6:41am PST The perfect gift for a foodie friend: a gift certificate for a City Tasting Tour. You’ll get personal, guided tour of downtown restaurants and bars. There are a variety of tours available, including brunch and cocktail tours, and a customized version. — This roundup is just a tip of the small business iceberg here in Memphis. Before you head out to a mall, be sure to look around to see how you can shop small! Where are your favorite places to shop for gifts in Memphis? Let us know in the comments. About The Author/Photographer Kim Thomas is a lifestyle blogger + photographer based in Memphis, TN. Launched in September 2010, her blog KP Fusion provides of-the-moment fashion, style and beauty tips + trends with a little Memphis, TN flavor thrown in. Whether it’s high, low, fast fashion, vintage, or something new, like a well-edited wardrobe, there’s a place for it on the blog. Are you a home owner in Memphis, with a broken garage door? Call ASAP garage door today at 901-461-0385 or checkout https://ift.tt/1B5z3Pc

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