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natalievoncatte · 6 months ago

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There was a knock at Lena’s door, and it startled her awake. She was awake, but also wasn’t, sitting in a side chair beside her sofa with a glass of whisky still in her hand, loosely held by tired, nerveless fingers. It nearly fell from her palm when the sound jolted her from the twilight between fitful wakefulness and falling asleep sitting up. By her side was that goddamn picture, the glass still cracked. She grabbed it and forced it down so she didn’t have to see her grinning face, feel the ghost of a warm soft cheek lightly grazing hers.

The whisky made a fiery stab at her heart as she finished it and went to the door. She already knew who it was, the only person who’d dare disturb her at this hour, and who could get past her security.

Kara stood in the hall, clad in fluffy pajamas and disbelieved, tracks left by hot tears still cut into her soft rosy cheeks. There she was, the pretty little crying princess again.

It was an act. It was bullshit. The real her was hiding behind it, standing tall, appraising Lena’s faults with eyes that could burn mountains, the cold judgment of an extinct empire carved into her godlike, inhuman beauty. Lena made herself see that, refused to let her guard down.

“What, Kara?”

“Can I come in?”

Lena didn’t even answer. She began to close the door, only for her movement to be arrested by a single word.

“Please.”

Part of her made her stop. She seethed against it, hated it. She had carved icy knives of vengeance to carve it out herself. Alcohol had failed to drown it and the sharpest logic was dull against it. It was both too hard to crush and too soft to squeeze, this hateful thing that coiled around her heart and made her feel when she had sworn never to feel again.

Kara took a halting step forward. Lena threw out her palm and pressed it into her chests, stopping her.

She shouldn’t have done that. There was something heady and intoxicating in it. Kara froze in place, and Lena could feel her pulse along her collarbones. The pinnacle of alien might, strength so vast that nothing could stand as her equal, and she stopped from Lena’s lightest touch. That was power.

“What do you want?”

“Just to talk.”

“I’ve heard your apologies. Don’t waste my time unless you have some new material.”

Kara licked her lips. “Maybe.”

They couldn’t stay like this. Resting a hand on her chest had too many possibilities. Touching her had too many implications. It would be so easy to let the soft thing win and bring her hand up and hold her palm to that soft cheek and seek to balm those tears, make it better, care.

She let herself remember that Kara’s pain was a shoeld for Supergirl’s judging wrath and pulled back, but she didn’t close the door. Kara did as she slipped inside.

Thee was a heavy pause of silence, where Kara just breathed, soft and ragged.

“Why are you here?” said Lena.

“I needed to see you. I needed to know you’re safe.”

“Nightmares?”

“Worse,” said Kara. “It was so much worse.”

The agony in her voice shook Lena.

Forcing herself to composure, she poured another three fingers of single malt and flipped into her chair, extending neither drink nor invitation to Kara. The drink was a bad idea. It was dangerous. The smokey, hazy heat of it burned the soft bitter taste of regret from her teeth. Lena didn’t look at her.

“It was the imp.”

“Excuse me?”

“It calls itself Mxy. It says it’s from the fifth dimension but I have no idea if that’s true or not. All I know is that it has vast powers, even godlike. The last time it… it tried to force me to marry it.”

Lena knew what darkness in her birthed the hot rage in her gut, the possessive jealous fury that welled within her at those worse. This thing, how dare he.

She took a drink.

“It… he came to me tonight and said he wanted to make amends. He offered to let me change the past. I could fix whatever I wanted.”

“Hmm. Must have been a trick,” said Lena. “Let me guess, restoring Krypton had some ironic Twilight Zone twist.”

Kara blanched, blinking. “No, I… I didn’t even think of that. I asked him to help me fix us.”

There is no us, Lena began to say, but the words died on her tongue. She washed the taste away.

Something in her twisted, a cold shiver like a water dumped over her head. She knew Kara’s bullshit super senses would pick up on it and steeled herself.

Rubbing her arms, Kara paced.

“I tried telling you at different times, so you’d hear it from me and not Lex or someone else.”

“What happened?” Lena said, trying to look more interested in her whisky than the answer.

It was purely an intellectual curiosity, she told herself.

“You died,” Kara said, blunt. “You died every time.”

“How?”

Every which way. Reign killed you five or six times. Mercy blew your brains out all over my chest. Lex… Lex could be creative. Poison, blades, fire once. He was fond of sadistic choices and clever tortures. Say, use red wavelengths to negate my powers and set up a sadistic challenge I could never pass, that sort of thing. It got so bad I stupidly wished I’d never met you.”

Her voice was ragged, breathing uneven. Fresh tears glittered on her cheeks and Lena felt herself lunge, start to stand. Kara’s pain called out to something in her, something beyond the physical or even the emotional. It was like something in Lena’s soul yearned to stop that terrible pain.

“The worst was when you drowned. Almost.”

Lena looked away, swirled her drink.

“Sounds like you kept trying.”

“I did. The timeline where we never met was one of the worst. I wasn’t there when your chopper crashed. Your mother… you tried to kill me and I couldn’t even fight back.”

“Is this where we segue into the ‘I would never hurt you’ lecture?”

“No. I did hurt you. I deserve your hate. If someone else did to you what I did, I’d snap their neck.”

Lena flinched. There was something cold in that admission, something brutal and beyond even Supergirl. Raw.

None of her rules matter for me.

A tiny voice in that darkness whispered to her: And if some poor bastard locked her in a Kryptonite cage the way you did, they’d be begging you for death. They’d know you’re a Luthor.

Lena shuddered.

“What do you do?”

“I kept trying. I thought… I felt… I had to keep trying.”

“Well, you gave up and came here eventually. You…”

Kara swallowed hard. “It thought it worked, finally. I picked the night I reached you from Corben. Remember that?”

“I remember,” Lena said, hesitant.

Kara Danvers believes in you.

“I told you when you asked me why I saved you. I took you home, made sure you were safe. Life went on. These… these timelines or whatever they were, Lena, they were real. I lived them. That one was, it was…”

“What?”

“A few days later after things calmed down we went to lunch. We were just chatting about something unimportant and you looked at me and our eyes met and it was like…”

Kara looked away from her, wrapping her arms around herself the way she did, not a smug Supergirl pose but a woman shielding her heart from the world that clawed at it.

“When I first arrived on Earth there was a night where my powers had just kicked in and I looked at the sky. I could see more than stars. There was an aurora that was invisible to humans. I could see invisible lines of energy crackling between the stars, the cosmic background radiation shimmering on the dark. Can you imagine that? I can see the remnants of the Big Bang when I stargaze.”

Lena’s had trembled, the dregs of her booze shaking in the bottom of the glass.

“It was like that,” said Kara. “I knew I’d never be the same. I was staring at you like a big goof and you just stopped talking and stared back. I blurted out ‘is this a date?’”

Lena clutched the glass so she wouldn’t drop it and forced the tears back with all her might, but she was weak. Always weak.

“I take it I said yes,” she managed to say, voice quivering.

“We got married three years later. Lori was born a year after that.”

“Kara,” Lena began.

“Then it happened.”

“Kara, shut up.”

“Kalibak killed you. My sister. My little girl. My everything.”

Lena hurled the glass and Kara snatched it from the air in a superhuman blur. Lena was already on her feet, stabbing an accusing finger.

“So what?” Lena demanded. “We’re star-crossed lovers, now? Is this your ploy to fix it? Make me realize how in love we are? It’s a sick joke, Kara.”

“I know I can’t fix it,” said Kara. “I don’t want to.”

Lena blinked, her rage momentarily cooled. “What?”

“I would rather live in a world where you hate me as long as you’re still in it.”

“Kara,” Lena said.

“We are star-crossed. I don’t know want I did to deserve this but I can’t fix it. There was never a right time to tell you. It was doomed from the start. I’m here to tell you to let me go, Lena.”

She blinked. “What?”

“I know about Non Nocere. I know what you’re trying to do. I’m here to ask you to stop. Please. Don’t do this. Don’t ruin you life over me.”

“Why couldn’t you just save me and leave?” Lena demanded. “That’s what everyone else gets. A quick rescue and a wave and a wink and you’re gone. Why did you have to drag yourself through my life and wreck everything?”

“I tried that.”

Lena screamed, bellowed at the top of her lungs.

“So what? So fucking what, Kara?”

Kara just stood there.

“I don’t know. I just… I just had to see… all I want is for you to be safe.”

Lena turned away from her.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” Kara choked out, behind her. “I did go back to Krypton one time. I told him I wanted to stay and die with my world, that it was the only way.”

“Let me guess, you did that and…”

“Car accident.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Lena cried. “You have to be kidding me.”

“He made me watch. Not just you, everyone else that died because there was no Supergirl. I… I think I’m in Hell.”

Lena blinked. She turned slowly. A memory came flooding back to her from another time, a closed casket in a small Irish church with Lionel Luthor lurking, waiting for her with an entourage. She’d asked the priest in her precious child voice, am I in Hell, Father?

A sob forced itself out of her. She let herself look at Kara, standing there bedraggled and teary eyed in rumpled Hello Kitty pajamas and felt sick, like she’d swallowed a belly full of rancid oil. All she could see was the hurting, and she wondered if that was it, if this pain was the source of the unbreakable quantum entanglement that had dragged this alien being across a gulf of stars to fuck up her life.

Or save it.

“Kara,” Lena whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I dragged you into my life.”

“I’m not,” Kara whispered. “It was a gift, every minute of it. I wouldn’t trade a single moment for anything. Even the ones that didn’t happen.”

“What the hell do we do?” said Lena.

“I leave. I keep saving you. You find someone else, live your life, be happy. I do everything I can to keep you in this world and watch you grow old. That’s it. I should go.”

Kara turned and Lena screamed, balling her fists.

“Don’t you fucking dare leave this penthouse, Kara Danvers.”

Kara froze.

“I went back.”

“Went back to what?” said Kara.

“I went back to let you out of the Kryptonite cage. I couldn’t stop thinking of you lying on that cold floor in pain so I had to go back, but you weren’t there. I… I… I don’t know what I’m doing. I want to stop this but I just keep going and I don’t know what to fucking do anymore. I’m so lost.”

Kara’s shoulders slumped.

“I would take it back if I could.”

Kara turned back to her.

“You don’t have to.”

Lena backed away, unable to look at her. Kara crossed the gap in seconds and tenderly rested her hands on Lena’s arms.

“I’m sorry. I mean it. I am truly sorry from the depths of my soul. I would fix this if I could.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” said Lena. “It makes my soul hurt, and I don’t believe in souls.”

Lena pulled her in, clinging to her as if she might disappear. Kara was tentative, testing with every movement.

God, they had a daughter. A child! Lena could imagine, almost see… what had she done?

“It’s going to be okay,” Kara said. “I think this is what I was supposed to learn.”

“What?”

“To own my mistakes, and if I don’t want you to be a villain, I shouldn’t treat you like one.”

“I’m so tired.”

“I should go home and let you rest. This is a lot, I know, and it’s late. I…”

Kara trailed off, and Lena looked up at her. Their eyes met, and Lena… knew.

“Will you come back?” said Lena.

“Always.”

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afaims100arrowversefavs · 4 months ago

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My 250 Favorite Arrowverse Episodes: Part 6: 125-101

Taken from „Arrow“, „The Flash“, „Supergirl“, „Legends of Tomorrow“, „Constantine“, „Black Lightning“, „Batwoman“, „Stargirl“ and Season 1-3 of „Superman & Lois“:

In honor of Seaosn 4 of "Superman & Lois" being the end of the Arrrowverse, the end of DCTV like we knew it and the end of The CW like we knew it, a final time before the final season all Seasons ends of all the 250 best Arrowverse Episodes (according to me):

I did include "Stargirl" this time, since it has as much connection as "Superman & Lois" to the rest of the Arrowverse, but One Hit Shows like "Gotham Knights" and "Naomi" (anyone still remember this one?) are not on this list, neither are Arrowverse unrelated DC shows:

125 .Reign (Supergirl 3x9)

The One in which: Reign beats Kara up at Christmas.

51, Written by: Paula Yoo, Caitlin Parrish, Directed by: Glen Winter

124. Turncoat (Legends of Tomorrow 2x11)

The One in which: Rip is brainwashed and terrorised Jax and Sara.

27, Written by: Grainne Godfree, Matthew Maala, Directed by: Alice Troughton

123. Running to Standstill (The Flash 2x9)

The One in which: The Trickster teams up with Weather Wizard.

32, Written by: Andrew Kreisberg, Directed by: Kevin Tancharoen

122. The Book of Apokalypse: Chapter 2: The Omega (Black Lightning 2x16)

The One in which: Jace tries to shoot Black Lightning and Jen comes into her own.

29, Written by: Charles D. Holland, Directed by: Salim Akil

121. Lawanda: The Book of Burial (Black Lighting 1x3)

The One in which: Anissa searches for herself and Kahlil gets shoot.

3, Written by: Jan Nash, Directed by: Mark Tonderai

120. The Book of Markovia: Chapter 4 (Black Lightning 3x13)

The One in which: Black Lightning and his team infiltrate Markovia.

42, Written by: Charles D. Holland, Asheleigh O. Conley, Directed by: Salim Akil

119. Dead to the Rights (Arrow 1x16)

The One in which: Tommy finds out the truth.

16, Written by:Geoff Johns, Directed by: Glen Winter

118. Star City 2046 (Legends of Tomorrow 1x6)

The One in which: Old Man Oliver meets the Legends.

6, Written by: Marc Guggenheim, Ray Utarnachitt, Directed by: Steve Shill

117. It’s a Super Life (Supergirl 5x13)

The One in which: Kara sees „What if?“-Episodes of her own life.

100, Written by: Robert Rovner, Jessica Queller, Derek Simon, Nicki Holcomb, Directed by: Jesse Warn

116. Truth and Consequences (Superman & Lois 2x11)

The One in which: Jon-El makes trouble.

26, Written by: Andrew N. Wong, Directed by: David Ramsey

115. Lowest Common Demoninator (Legends of Tomorrow 7x9)

The One in which: The Legends are stuck in an Reality-Show.

106, Written by: James Eagan, Emily Cheever, Directed by: Eric Dean Seaton

114. Broken Trust (Superman & Lois 1x6)

The One in which: Lois gains a new partner and Tag Harris is a new man.

6, Written by: Katie Aldrin, Directed by: Sudz Sutherland

113. Take your Choice (Batwoman 1x12)

The One in which: There can only be one.

8, Written by: Ebony Gilbert, Directed by: Tara Miele

112. An Un-Birthday Present (Batwoman 1x11)

The One in which: Kate gets her wish, but other than she expected.

11, Written by: Chad Fiveash, James Stoteraux, Directed by: Mairzee Almas

111. Deathstroke Returns/Promise Kept (Arrow 6x5-6)

The Ones in which: Slade asks Oliver for help concerning his son.

120/121, Written by: Ben Sokolowski, Spiro Skentos, Oscar Balderrama, Rebecca Belotto, Directed by: Joel Novoa, Antonio Negret

110. The Magnificent Eight (Legends of Tomorrow 1x11)

The One in which: The Legends meet Jonah Hex.

11, Written by: Marc Guggenheim, Greg Berlanti, Directed by: Thor Freudenthal

109. Back from the Future 1-2 (Supergirl 5x11-12)

The Ones in which: Winn is back, more than once.

98-99, Written by: Dana Horgan, Katie Rose Rogers; Rob Wright, J. Holtman, Directed by: David Harewood, Alexis Ostrander

108. Girls Night Out (The Flash 4x5)

The One in which: Iris‘ bachelorette party goes south.

74, Written by: Lauren Certo, Kristen Kim, Directed by: Laura Belsey

107. The Ex-Factor (Legends of Tomorrow 6x3)

The One in which: Zari fights for the throne.

85, Written by: Grainne Godfree, Tyron B. Carter, Directed by: David Geddes

106. A Girl Named Sue (The Flash 6x12)

The One in which: We meet Sue Dearborn.

126, Written by: Thomas Pound, Lauren Certo, Directed by: Chris Peppe

105. Impulsive Exessive Disorder (The Flash 8x6)

The One in which: Nora and Bart stumble in the Pilot.

157, Written by: Thomas Pound, Directed by: David McWhirter

104. The Satanist’s Apprentice (Legends of Tomorrow 6x5)

The One in which: Astras goes Disney Princess.

87, Written by: Keto Shimizu, Ray Utarnachitt, Directed by: Caity Lotz

103. Cause and XS (The Flash 5x14)

The One in which: Nora is stuck in a time loop.

106, Written By: Todd Helbing, Jeff Hersh, Directed By: Rachel Talalay

102. Cause and Effect (The Flash 3x21)

The One in which: Barry can’t remember anything.

67, Written by: Judalina Neira, Lauren Certo, Directed by: David McWhirter

101. Armageddon Part 4 (The Flash 8x4)

The One in which: Barry lives a nightmare.

155, Written by: Lauren Barnett, Directed by: Chad Lowe

#Arrowverse #Favorite Episodes #Arrow #The Flash #Supergirl #Legends of Tomorrow #Black Lightning #Batwoman #Superman & Lois

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afaimsarrowverse · 2 years ago

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250(ish) Favorite Arrowverse Episodes: Part 2: 225-201

Picked from „Arrow“, „Black Lightning“, „Supergirl“, „Legends of Tomorrow“, „The Flash“, „Barwoman“ Season 1+2 and „Superman & Lois“ Season 1+2. I did consider kicking „Superman & Lois“ of this list, but since it pretended to be part of the Arrowverse for its first two seasons I left it on here.

225. Second Chances (Arrow 5x11)

103, Written by: Speed Weed, Sarah Tarkoff, Directed by: Mark Bunting

"Yeah. Maybe this team is all about finding second chances."

224. Hell No, Dolly! (Legends of Tomorow 4x7)

58, Written by: Grainne Godfree, Morgan Faust, Directed by: April Mullen

"Sara? Is it possible that our fugitive killer is a possessed doll?"

"Horror movie 101."

223. Exodus (Supergirl 2x15)

35, Written by: Paula Yoo, Eric Carrasco, Directed by: Michael Allowitz

"'A halb emes iz a gants lign', as my grandmother from the shtetl would say: A half-truth is a whole lie."

222. Streets of Fire (Arrow 2x22)

45, Written by: Jake Coburn, Ben Sokolowski, Directed by: Nick Copus

"You honor the dead by fighting and you're not done fighting! Malcolm Merlyn, The Count, the Clock King, the Triad... everyone who was trying to hurt this city, you stopped them. And you will stop Slade."

221. The Trap (The Flash 1x20)

20, Written by: Alison Schapker, Brooke Elkmeier, Directed by: Steve Shill

"You look so young. And I could kill you right now so easy. What I wouldn't have given? All those times before to have had you like this. So helpless. But fate, it's tricky, isn't it? I come here to destroy you. And then to get home, I have to be the one who creates you. But I will say, it's been an education. Watching you grow up all these years. Science fairs and soccer games. No hint, no sign, no trace of the man you will be one day for whom I have nothing but hate. And to be clear, nothing is forgiven. There will be a reckoning. I promise you, Barry Allen, that you will die."

220. There Will be Blood (The Flash 6x4)

118, Written by: Lauren Certo, Sterling Gates, Directed by: Marcus Stokes

"Everyone dies, Ramsey. Maybe the only thing that makes it bearable is to find some meaning in it."

"Well, that means I'm making the greatest sacrifice of all. Don't you see? What I'm becoming, this is the cure. I am the answer, Flash, to the greatest mystery of all. Life eternal."

219. Leap of Faith (Arrow 8x3)

163, Written by: Emilio Ortega Aldrich, Elizabeth Kim, Directed by: Katie Cassidy

"You know, I've been thinking a lot about mom and dad lately, wondering what they would think about the lives we've chosen. All the mistakes they made, all the lies they told in their own very, very messed up way. They thought they were protecting us."

"They weren't. They didn't." "No, but it did help us become the people we are today. They turned us into heroes."

218. Tender is the Nate (Legends of Tomorrow 4x6)

57, Written by: Phil Klemmer, Matthew Maala, Directed by: Dean Choe

"When I first stepped on to this ship, I was, you know, trying to get away from all my baggage back home, and I can't believe I'm gonna say this.... Hemingway once wrote 'Can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another.' And thanks to you guys, I don't have to run anymore."

217. Through the Looking Glass (Batwoman 1x16)

16, Written by: Nancy Kiu, Directed by: Sudz Sutherland

"When I was under the influence of Fear Toxin, out of all the horrible things I experienced, worst was being left behind by you."

216. Homecoming (Supergirl 2x14)

34, Written by: Caitlin Parrish, Derek Simon, Directed by: Larry Teng

"I'm not being paranoid here, I'm not. When's the last time we were this lucky? Lucky enough that Cadmus was moving their most valuable prisoner, a guy that the D.E.O. has been unable to find for 15 years, and he just lands in our lap?"

215. City of Blood (Arrow 2x21)

44, Written by: Holly Harold, Directed by: Michael Schultz

"I don't know anything about hoods and masks or...human weapons...or any of this...but I know you. I know you like I know my own name. And I realize it may sound crazy in the light of your secret but I know you in your bones, Oliver. That person doesn't give up. That person...he ALWAYS finds a way."

214. Grodd Lives (The Flash 1x21)

21, Written by: Grainne Godfree, Kai Yu Wu, Directed by: Dermott Downs

"Maybe the accelerator explosion created a meta-gorilla."

213. The Justice Society of America (Legends of Tomorrow 2x2)

18, Written by: Chris Fedak, Sarah Nicole Jones, Directed by: Michael Grossman

"Well, I gotta admit, watching your team work like a well-oiled machine kinda makes me feel like I'm doing this whole hero thing all wrong."

212. What We Leave Behind (Arrow 5x9)

101, Written by: Wendy Mercile, Beth Schwartz, Directed by: Antionio Negret

"There's two types of every legacy, two versions of what we leave behind. There's the good and then the bad. You just really have a lousy habit of focusing only on the bad."

211. Haywire (Superman & Lois 1x4)

4, Written by: Michael Narducci, Directed by: James Bamford

"I've had a lot of time to think about you, obsessively tracking your patterns. I noticed you haven't been around Metropolis quite as much. But that's how I knew that the, um, big shots would move me to a more secure prison. It seems like you're obligated elsewhere. That makes you distracted. Vulnerable. A weakling."

210. Dancing Queen (Legends of Tomorrow 4x3)

54, Written by: James Eagan, Morgan Faust, Directed by: Kristin Windell

"My best friend Nate, he, uh, has a desk job. And Amaya... well, she's gone. I actually really miss her. She was kind of our moral compass. Helped us do the right thing when it wasn't always easy to do the right thing."

"I never knew disco could get so barmy."

209. The Martian Chronicles (Supergirl 2x11)

31, Written by: Gabrial Llanas, Anna Musky-Goldwyn, Directed by: David McWhirter

"This is for every Green you ever killed." "In that skin, you look like a monster." "We're the monsters, Armek. This skin is beautiful."

208. Seeing Red (Arrow 2x20)

43, Written by: Wendy Mercile, Directed by: Doug Aaroniokoski

"Oliver, I know. I know. I've known... since last year, I suppose. The night of The Undertaking, everything became so clear. It was pretty much the night I stopped sleeping."

"Before you say anything else..." "There's nothing else to say. Nothing I need to say. Except I could not be more proud."

207. Rogue Air (The Flash 1x22)

22, Written by: Todd and Aaron Helbing, Directed by: Doug Aarniokoski

"You can't stop me, Flash, and you never will."

206. Out of Time (Legends of Tomorrow 2x1)

17, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Chris Fedak, Phil Klemmer, Marc Guggenheim, Directed by: Dermott Downs

"As flawed and unruly as you are individually, together you are the best crew, the best team a captain could ever hope for. So... stick together. And remember: history is yours now, my dear Legends. Good luck!"

205. Call to Action (Supergirl 4x6)

71, Written by: Gabriel Llanas, Daniel Beaty, Directed by: Antonio Negret

"Well, we did stop the Children of Liberty from hurting innocent aliens. But Agent Liberty is still out there. And the rhetoric of hate is growing. Just haven't figured out how to win this fight yet. With so many people siding with fear, how far will this go?"

204. The Darkest Place (Supergirl 2x7)

27, Written by: Robert Rovner, Paula Yoo, Directed by: Glen Winter

"I've heard that before. Years ago, Superman came to my son, Lex, and promised him the world. A new dawn for mankind. Lex believed him, poor thing. And then he watched as your kinsman infected this country with his propaganda, as his power became unchecked. And when Lex tried to take that power back, Superman convinced the world Lex was evil. My darling boy. My genius son. An actual superman, behind bars for life. Because you and your kind will stop at nothing to poison Earth."

203. Birds of Prey (Arrow 2x17)

40, Written by: Mark Bemesderfer, A. C. Bradley, Directed by: John Behring

„No. He died. And I couldn't deal with it. So I became a drunk. Every problem I had, I solved with a pill or a drink. My friends and my family, they tried to help me, but I wouldn't let them. You don't have to do this, Helena. It's not too late." "Yes, I do. Because once you let the darkness inside, it never comes out."

202. Crazy for you (The Flash 1x12)