#supercorpficlet

[thornedrose44]

supercorp prompt: kara gravely injured, lena at her bedside waiting for her to recover, leading to soft confessions

“It was always you. Always. Even when… even when I burnt everything to the ground. Even when I stood and cried in the ashes, wishing to burn it all down again. It was you.” Lena inhaled shakily, lifting Kara’s limp hand to her lips and placing the softest of kisses to the cool skin that used to radiate ridiculous warmth.

“I felt it from the moment you walked into my office, trying to shift back into Clark’s… Superman’s shadow. But you were never meant for anyone’s shadow. Never meant for darkness and hidden away places. You shine. Did you know that? That was my first thought when I saw you. That you were brighter than the sun. That you glowed.

“My heart skipped a beat when I saw those… baby blues of yours. Later on… when I knew… I always wondered if you heard it. Did you think it was just nerves? A flicker of a lie? It was you. I felt so seen in your gaze. I always feel seen in your gaze. And the thought that I might never… that I may one day have to go without that… without you.”

Her voice cracked, splintering like her heart had when Supergirl fell to the ground and didn’t get back up again.

“It’s tearing me apart. I don’t know what kryptonite feels like and I know you would never want me to know but I wonder if it feels like this. Draining, destructive… I feel so helpless, nauseous whenever I consider-“ Lena cut off, she wouldn’t say the word, not even hint at it, not with Kara still recovering from the precipice her life had dangled on. She wouldn’t risk it, wouldn’t entice the reaper to turn his empty sockets to their sanctuary. “I feel like… someone cut my heart out of my chest and left the wound open and raw. Rubbed salt into it and keeps cutting back in whenever it considers healing. It will heal. It is healing… with every continued breath you take, every beat of your heart… it’s healing as you heal. Intrinsically linked.” Lena chuckled hollowly to herself as she defined their melded hurts. “Quantum entanglement.

“You hurt l, I hurt. I get it now…” Lena revealed softly, eyes focusing on the rhythmic way Kara’s chest rose and fell with the ebb and flow of life. “Why you didn’t tell me… you knew it would hurt, truly, deeply hurt. The sheer enormity of it would create a negative feedback loop between us so overwhelming that… all that would be left is ashes…” Lena wiped an inconspicuous tear that had managed to escape off her own cheek. “I hurt which hurts you which hurts me and on and on and on it goes.

“It was you even when there were others. It was you when I was scared, it was you when I was happy, angry, jealous, irritated, delighted, wistful, amused… everything. It was always you. I just want you to know that. Everything I have is yours. Everything I am is yours. I know that-“

Lena bit her lip, teeth digging into the soft skin, ripping into it and staining everything with the smallest drop of crimson.

“I know that it’s not the same for you. That I’m your best friend and that… that’s all you’ll ever see me as and I’m okay with that. Genuinely because that… that position is still sacred, a blessing from the heavens. I get to bask in that… radiant glow of yours and it means everything to me. But you should know - though I will never be brave enough to say these words to you in person - that it's you. For me: it’s you.

“My port in the storm. My lantern in the night. My best friend. My love. My true love. It’s you. It’s always been you and always will be you. I love you, Kara Zor-El.”

And with that, Lena leaned forward out of her chair - still cradling Kara’s hand - and pressed her lips to the uncreased forehead.

“Lena?”

Lena didn’t jump or jerk away at the sound of Alex’s soft voice from the doorway. The redhead knew, had seen the way Lena would blossom under Kara’s light - this little tableau the youngest Luthor had created wouldn’t have taken any of the Superfriends by surprise. They were kind enough - or discreet enough - never to mention it. It was Lena’s secret.

They had carried Supergirl for Kara.

They would carry this for Lena.

Lena stepped back, carefully settling Kara’s hand by her side and tucking the blankets tenderly around her form before turning to face the older Danvers with a raised eyebrow. Alex wouldn’t interrupt unless it was important, wouldn’t even consider pulling her away from Kara unless lives were in the balance or she could assure the task was quick - Kara’s hand not losing all contact heat in the time it took for Lena to complete the task and return to her side.

“Brainy needs your help. Just a quick review of the neutraliser design to make sure it works, he doesn’t want to send us in without being certain it will do the job.”

The ‘after the alien took down Supergirl’ goes unsaid.

“Right, of course.” Lena nodded, making her way to the door, head bowed only to be stopped by a light touch to her wrist.

“Lena.” Alex murmured; it was the gentleness of her tone that made Lena stop, it was a gentleness Alex only ever gifted to Kara, Kelly and Esme. “You should tell her.”

Lena pursed her lips at that, already shaking her head without the need for clarification.

“I appreciate the advice, but I can only stand to lose your sister so much.” Lena confessed. “I’ve already gone without once and I’m not brave enough to risk going through that again.”

“But-“

“I’ve made my choice.” Lena asserted, voice firm yet kind.

“And what about her? What if it’s you for her too?” Alex questioned, brown eyes only showing the smallest slither of regret for eavesdropping.

Lena didn’t have it in her to reprimand for the trespass, Alex’s understanding of boundaries always got murky when it came to her sister - and considering everything the family had suffered, Lena could understand where that moral greyness originated from.

“I highly doubt that.” Lena replied, unable to hide how her shoulders dipped with loss at the prospect.

“But what if?” Alex pressed, hand squeezing Lena’s wrist tighter - not restricting, just reassurance of something solid and tangible to make this real and grounded.

“Then you should do everything in your power to change her mind.” Lena said bluntly. “She can do better. She deserves better.”

“No, Lena-“ Alex spluttered, jaw dropping open as the raven haired woman tugged her hand free and marched out of the room.

“Keep an eye on Kara for me until I return.” Lena ordered, not daring to turn back.