#super epic cookie system

[en8y]

[IMAGE ID: two horizontal flags with nine stripes; each flag has a black and white icon of a fist in the center. the middle stripe is twice as large as the rest of them, which are equally sized. the first flag has these top three colors: pink-red, burnt orange, and bright cool pink. the second flag has these top three colors: pink-purple, burnt orange, and pastel yellow. each flag has these bottom six stripes: warm light yellow, off-white, yellow-orange, bright warm pink, medium red, and dark red. END ID.]

chargetypepikuki: a gender connected to being a charge epic cookie; this gender is connected to the charge type from cookie run kingdom, charge aesthetics, unique aesthetics, and being a cookie in the cookie run sense!

chargetypesupikuki: a gender connected to being a charge super epic cookie; this gender is connected to the charge type from cookie run kingdom, charge aesthetics, standing out, and being a cookie in the cookie run sense!

@radiomogai @liom-archive @obscurian

[en69y]

[IMAGE ID: three horizontal flags with nine stripes; each flag has a heart in two colors, the left side orange-pink, and the right side hot pink. it appears drippy. it is in the center. the middle stripe is twice as large as the rest of them, which are equally sized. the first flag has these top three colors: dark blue, burnt orange, and bright blue. the second flag has these top three colors: pink-red, burnt orange, and bright cool pink. the third flag has these top three colors: pink-purple, burnt orange, and pastel yellow. each flag has these bottom six stripes: peach, off-white, pastel orange, hot pink, medium warm purple, and dark cool purple. END ID.]

hypersexulirakuki: a gender connected to being a hypersexual rare cookie; this gender is connected to being hypersexual, hypersexual pride, hypersexual aesthetics, domestic or non-flashy aesthetics, and being a cookie in the cookie run sense!

hypersexulepikuki: a gender connected to being a hypersexual epic cookie; this gender is connected to being hypersexual, hypersexual pride, hypersexual aesthetics, unique aesthetics, and being a cookie in the cookie run sense!

hypersexulisupikuki: a gender connected to being a hypersexual super epic cookie; this gender is connected to being hypersexual, hypersexual pride, hypersexual aesthetics, standing out, and being a cookie in the cookie run sense!

@mogaigonewild @liom-archive

[empyrangel]

So much for stardust…

We thought we had em all thought we had em all thought we had em all thought we had em all thought we had em all

[brittle-doughie]

Going to outright admit it, this is my first time doing a request, but here goes:

This request is based on an April fools event in a game called Nikke: Goddess of Victory.

https://youtu.be/l1pWg-ujU-o?si=GKV12WISdeGSsluR

The above link may seem 18+, it’s not lol, it’s April fools and thus it’s simply chaos happening due to a harem of jealous women. (Although yanderes DO butter my toast very nicely.)

Basically my request goes:

Y/n pranking legendaries by sending letters to said legendary figures. Beasts, ancients, dragons, you can add whoever you want, just pls add Elder Farrie I am STARVING for content of this faerie fella, Y/N is terrified by the sheer amount of powerful cookies busting through their door, ceiling, etc etc, but also goes “welp, I’ve come this far, if I die, I’ll die with a bang” and pranks the godlike cookies because ✨CHAOS✨

Apologies if I seem too formal, too vague or just plain weird by the layout or wording of this request, it’s my first time and due to a change of events in my life, I’m currently very giddy and wish for chaotic joy by sending a request to my favorite reader x cookie run writer, thank you brittle!

I saw you mentioned two characters specifically, so I’ll focus on them.

Elder Faerie would’ve shook his head at your attempt of a prank. You know how risky it is to send a message like that to the entire Legend Chat, cookies with not so pure intentions could’ve gotten to you first and had done unspeakable things.

You were lucky he was quick to prepare his attire and weapon as well as making it here on time. If you had simply wanted some time with someone, you should’ve just brought the matter to him only and he would’ve came over.

Why he was in the Legend Chat when he’s a Super Epic was beyond you.

Xylitol Nova Cookie would show similar concerns when it came to just messaging something that outrageous in the board. Having to be alone with cookies Like Timekeeper or even one of the dragons would’ve been bad, you’d have to be decontaminated from head to toe!

It just so happens that he had been working on a security system that will ensure that nothing short of a Beast will be able to break through the made defenses. Of course, he’d have the clearance to enter the room unopposed if you ever messaged seriously about being lonely again.

[insomni-frog]

its cookie of the year time boys and wouldn't you guess it

The ancients, beasts, legendarys, and a super epic are dominating the top ten. (At the time of writing/posting.)

I thought this year might've been structured differently, cause in ovenbreak they had a vote for the legendary cookies and now they're doing one for all the other rarities. But it's the same free for all like the previous years, all cookies lumped into one category and having to choose between two cookies of sometimes vastly different rarities.

I know its meant to be a popularity contest, but when there's a reward in the winner getting a legendary costume it kinda takes away from it being a fun contest—especially when previous winners can still be voted for. (Even if you did exclude previous winners, this is a once a year event, there'd be new legendarys, beasts and super epics come next year that an epic would never have a chance against.)

I understand why its like this, there's a lot more that goes into making a costume for kingdom than there is in ovenbreak But for funnies I thought of a new hypothetical way things could done.

First of all separate the cookies into categories by their rarities, although the rarities above epics would all have to be grouped together (although you can change the grouping as you see fit). Then you take the highest voted for cookies from each category (first place out of the ancients, beasts, etc. First through third/fourth of the epics/special cookies. First and second from the rares and commons.) And then this is the fun part, all of those cookies get a costume.

Not all legendary of course, but based on their rarity category. Epic costumes for the epics/specials, and rare costumes for the rares and commons.

And those costumes would be based on a theme (perhaps also voted on), creating a set of costumes for the winners. That way more cookies have a chance of winning, instead of being drowned out by the higher rarities.

And that, my dear reader who made it this far into my ramble, was actually my long winded explanation on why the system should change so Captain Caviar could have a chance at getting a costume—PLEASE DEVSIS I'LL TAKE ANYTHING, EVEN A RECOLOUR AT THIS POINT PLEASE-

[jtweird-brainrot]

My Cookie Run Kingdom Hot Takes I’ve wanted to bitch about Part 1

There are too many Epic Cookies and not enough Commons and Rares

As of right now, with the addition of Peach Blossom, there’s 132 playable cookies

7 are Common

14 are Rare

You know how many Epics we have?

80!!!

That’s over 10 times as many Commons!

It’s more than all of the other rarities combined (yes I make a pie chart just for this post)

“Oh but why is that a big deal?”

First of all, it completely negates the point of the rarity system

The point of Common cookies is to be just that, common

Having too many epic cookies diminishes their value

Also, let’s be honest with ourselves, half of the epic don’t deserve to be epic

A lot of them suck and are completely forgettable

How often do you use Fig or Caramel Choux or Butter Roll?

Honestly you could downgrade half of these epics and no one would care

You could downgrade some of the SUPER EPICS and that would be fine cause let’s be real, some of those guys suck too

Not every new cookie needs to be an Epic, you can add a new rare or common every now and then

TLDR: too many Epics, new more Rares and Commons, Devsisters need to start downgrading some epics

[guardiansvalor]

soirée of the silent stars — a fanmade cookie run: kingdom update project.

GUESS WHO MADE THE TITLE SCREEN FUCK YEAH!!!!

a rough telltale of how the update's story plays out. oh, we're progressing! and yet this is still a heavy wip 💧...

ingame mechanics.. we're uh still a bit at a standstill, but Okay

soirée of the silent stars is a special episode, unlocked after the player finishes episode 16 OR unlockable by 3000 crystals. during the update's period (november 3rd — december 7th 2024 would be the date released.) it'd be 300

ACT I :

- sablé cookie (super epic, support)

epic costumes :

- stardust cookie

- kouign-amann cookie

- financier cookie

- sablé cookie

— costumes essentially will cost less rainbow cubes to pull and rainbow stars to buy, for a good reason @-@.....

— the star dreamers are chance up, though only for this half because adding that onto the second half would be dizzying! even i know what too many costumes is!!

— sabs wouldn't be my cookie of choice but i dug my grave for this back in early 2023 i can not go back now

mechanics :

don't actually fucking ask me that but there'd be Some form of new gamemode... one that would make cubes easier to obtain cause girl you're gonna need them

resonant toppings i haven't figured out yet eitger, told ya this was a wip still😭

the super epic system used with clotted cream, oyster and sherbet would apply to sablé.

ACT II :

- moonstone cookie (epic, magic) (tje name is a link to the wiki)

( moonstone is ... kinda work in progress? but she's got a basis, take that at least. )

epic costumes :

- clotted cream cookie

- oyster cookie

- captain caviar cookie

- pastry cookie

( costume set : nightfall upon the republic )

obtaining the full set within the update's duration rewards crystals and a title , a ray of pale moonlight

other mechanics :

- milky way cookie's magic candy

- CLOTTED CREAM GETS A FUCKING BUFF

i do NAWT know how updates work, so this might be a bit Crappy in the long run, but hey! i'm having fun w this project! and i hope at least some people will enjoy 💫

[whitepearlcookie]

You can't seriously look at Ovenbreak and Kingdom's recent updates and say that Ovenbreak is worse off than Kingdom with a straight face.

YES we are getting a legendary release with a magic candy three months after the last one but at LEAST Ovenbreak doesn't have a monthly super epic cookie release (which just means Legendary Lite and it's a scam to milk whale's money may i remind you). Hell, kingdom has it's own problem with the equivalent to magic candies for legendaries, Crystal Jams which are arguably WORSE and harder to level up as a f2p! And don't get me started on how they just keep amping the max levels for cookies, or how the costume gacha is mad unfair with a shit pity system that doesnt include a single legendary costume.

I don't like the way CROB is being handled either, just don't say that it's worse off because it really isn't 😭.

Like im sorry if I'm raining down on your hate-boner for ovenbreak but it's the truth.

[ashuribbon]

Happy New Year Ashur! What do you hope to happen to Cookie Run Kingdom in 2025?

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO, FELLOW ANON!!!! :DDD

I kind of had a lot on my mind, but I'll try to predict what'll happen in CRK 2025 given the context of everything we got from the streams thus far, and some of my own theories! All of it under the cut!

Most likely we'll get to see a backstory of how exactly Shadow Milk Cookie got corrupt! With his debut slowly approaching, it makes sense we get more backstory on him and what led to him becoming who he is now!

My biggest wish is for a corrupted Pure Vanilla! I saw the devs mention that they were adding a new twist in the story, so while I feel we may end up with an Awakened form, I really REALLY want to see Pure Vanilla Cookie become corrupt and have that be a huge twist in the story!

I am honestly hoping that A Mermaid's Tale isn't the last of Abalone Cookie, and am betting that he is a super epic if he shows up again (I still stand by my theory on him)! A part of me does hope we get another sea-themed update, and perhaps get the chance of seeing any sea-themed characters from Ovenbreak come to Kingdom! Seeing Pirate Cookie make a brief cameo in the Crunchy Dreams event and now in the Chinese promotion for Sea Fairy Cookie's debut is giving me a tint of hope! I know Twitter wants Captain Ice as well, so I hope to see her too! :DDDD

Definitely not saying it because I love all the CR Captains and want them to be together in Ovenbreak and Kingdom... Noooo...

A little bummed out that Captain Caviar Cookie didn't win COTY, but that's okay!!! I just hope he gets a new costume in the future! I do feel they should update the voting system for COTY, similar to how it's done in Ovenbreak nowadays where legendaries are voted separately!

Speaking of COTY, I hope Mystic Flour Cookie's costume is that of what she looked like in the past! I really want to see it!!!

With the confirmation of Timekeeper Cookie, I hope we get to see TBD Cookies showing up later down the line after Dark Enchantress Cookie! One of my DnD campaign buddies loves Croissant Cookie, so he was just as giddy as I was! A huge chance her legendary costume from CROB will be in CRK as well!

Also excited for the dragons, too! Makes me glad that they didn't neglect the dragons and are going to go through with it this time!!! I'm a little happy for my friends who love the dragons!

I also hope that we get more Cookie Run songs. I had a blast listening to Bad and Dark and some other CR tracks from their collection!!!!

In general, I have a lot on my mind! c:

[stealerofnames]

Rambling about the recent CRK livesteam

So CRK recently did a livestream regarding future updates, and Youtuber Royal Mike google translated the Korean text into English text, so I'm going go though what was revealed

Read on under the cut cause it's going to be long

Regarding the next update for October:

Episode 5 of Beast Yeast

NEW COOKIES: Burning Spice (Beast) and an unnamed tiger centaur (Epic) (The translation says they are called Nutmeg Tiger Cookie, but I'm taking that with a grain of salt)

The return of Beast Raid

Monster Mayhem. What exactly this is IDK yet

A hidden picture game

The ability to pick a group of attributes. IDK what this is, maybe picking cookies based of their element? I mean, all the cookies shown in that picture all share the water element

The probability of drawing Epic+ cookies in the gacha will be increased

Improvements to the nether-gacha

Burning Spice themed icings for MyCookie

The return of the virtual mine exploration

3 New costumes for Sorbet Shark, Peppermint, and Frilled Jellyfish

Regarding the update for November:

Episode 6 of Beast Yeast

NEW COOKIES: Awakened Golden Cheese and Smoked Cheese (Epic)

If the translations are right, Awakened Golden Cheese will 100% free via in game events. We also got a silhouette of this form

Beast Raid: Master Mode

A new mini-boss

Awakened soulstones are being added to Beast Yeast

Construction and research times are being reduced

Improvements to the kingdom pass

Legendary Beascuits

The additions of Burning Spice and Awakened Golden Cheese to the gacha of fate

The handling of duplicate icing sets will be improved, and it unofficially confirmed another new icing set

A new town square event and an addition of a golden bell system

Box of Abundence Ver. 2

Improvements to both the seaside market and the rainbow shell gallery

The number of production buildings will be expanded and the production bundles will be increased

Corner fences will be added

Regarding the update for December:

An arena based story, as well as 3 new epics

Two new (limited time) arena modes, one where you can only use epic cookies (and one super epic), and the other one is a free for all, no holds barred fight

An increased skip interval, whatever that means

You can turn the enemy teams effects off, as hide your buff/debuff buttons

2 new legendary skins for Moonlight and Frost Queen (and there was much rejoicing)

An expansion of the cake towers

A new town square minigame, as well as a new winter theme

I would say more but has gone on long enough, thanks for reading this far

[en8y]

[IMAGE ID: two horizontal flags with nine stripes; each flag has the striking lightning artifact icon in the center; a flame-shaped icon in bright yellow, with a lightning bolt in the middle. the middle stripe is twice as large as the rest of them, which are equally sized. the first flag has these top three colors: pink-red, burnt orange, and bright cool pink. the second flag has these top three colors: pink-purple, burnt orange, and pastel yellow. each flag has these bottom six stripes: warm green, off-white, dull yellow, golden yellow, warm yellow, and light yellow. END ID.]

strikelightnepikuki: a gender connected to being a striking lightning epic cookie; this gender is connected to the striking lightning artifact from cookie run kingdom, electricity aesthetics, unique aesthetics, and being a cookie in the cookie run sense!

strikelightnisupikuki: a gender connected to being a striking lightning super epic cookie; this gender is connected to the striking lightning artifact from cookie run kingdom, electricity aesthetics, standing out, and being a cookie in the cookie run sense!

@radiomogai @liom-archive @obscurian

[musesofthesun]

MUSESOFTHESUN ≡ this is a semi-selective, mutually exclusive para multimuse roleplay blog. this blog contains muses from a variety of media, including obscure ones. not spoiler-free, and uses the beta editor. read rules before interacting. affiliated with @musesofthemoon and @starmuscd!

a study in: the psychology & cognition of characters, friendship & hatred, atypical bonds, second chances, horror & trauma, & the recovery from horrible past experiences — there will be dark themes, such as horror, violence, mental illness, and trauma on this blog.

PRIORITY MUSES: yui, siffrin, sherbet cookie, N

muse list — promo — @sisturn (abigail dst sideblog)

RULES BELOW CUT.

RULES. hello, hello! I’m Ender, an adult (19) and an extroverted gal with autism and ADHD. Thanks for taking the time to read this! There’s no password to send in, so no need to look for one! Please read these carefully. Be 16 or above to interact.

TRIGGERS. (i NEED these tagged. i have a physiological and psychological response to these topics that can greatly affect my mental health. My catch-all tags are "ender dont look" and "ender don't look".)

any religious themes and/or religious intolerance.

use of the word “god” in reference to powerful beings. Replacing such things with “ruler”/etc and generally making relations akin to king/subjects are good buffers that I can work with.

excessive verbal swearing

craneflies and daddy-long-legs

Extremely heavy organic gore visuals, especially in regard to the nervous system, organs, guts, and the heart. child (under 4years old) gore

vi.vziepop, good om.ens, supern.atural, c.ult of the l.mb

SQUICKS. i'd appreciate these being tagged as well, but they do not spawn a severe reaction from me. i just want to avoid them.

any deep, in-depth descriptions of non-fantasy occult/magic + occult in general (like direct mentions of ouija boards, details of rituals, and stuff)

all smut and lewd content

Politics/Drama

TAGGING. I tag writing and fictional-related talk of potentially triggering topics as #trigger cw. Images are tagged as #trigger image cw— various medias are tagged as #☼ = media. If I miss anything or you need something tagged, please tell me in DMs! I’m happy to help you curate your experience and I want everyone to stay safe. /gen

INTERACTIONS.

non-roleplay blogs, please do not reblog any of my posts. if it's someone else's art/musing/photo/etc I've reblogged, those are free game! but please do not touch posts made by me whether they are in-character, out-of-character, or just my sketches. thanks!

I am mutually exclusive but am generally super friendly! I'll give nearly everyone a chance, even if I don’t know the muse or media! Crossovers, even with no plotting beforehand, are really fun.

I require a rules page to read before I follow, and won’t follow until I’ve read the rules. I tend to like promos to bookmark them so I can read the person’s rules later.

I won’t follow people who do not tag any of their posts. even basic “ic” or “ooc” or “musing” tags and such are good! I don’t care how fancy or simple your tags are, I just care that you have them and use them consistently.

Specifying muse when you send things in is appreciated. I will skip those who do not specify on starter calls, but if it’s an ask or meme then simply expect my current highest muse if you do not specify.

I am duplicate and OC-friendly! For OCs, I require at least a simple About page to look at ‘cause I prefer to know your character a little before interacting! Duplicates are also fun for me to plot with ‘cause past/future meetings, AU meets canon, etc. are SUPER epic plots and very fun! I’m very used to duplicates and have been for years across different RPCs ^.^

I do not roleplay in “character: text” or *action* format. I prefer to interact with people who roleplay paragraph style and have a basic grasp of grammar, punctuation, and spelling; I completely understand if English isn’t your first language, though!

I do not mind unplotted violence against my muses, but make sure you are prepared for the consequences. I love action and battle threads, but any permanent kills must be plotted.

MUN POLICIES.

Mun does NOT equal muse. Just because I, the mun, think or know something does not mean that my muses will. I’m an omnipresent narrator, they are characters in-universe. They each will have different thoughts and opinions than I will. It should go without saying that I do not condone everything any of my muses do.

I am a slow writer. I have college and several other things that take up my time, so I can’t be here twenty-four-seven! Also, my muse fluctuates. I may reply to something instantly if I have the muse for it, or I may get to it weeks later. I hoard drafts and asks like a dragon to get to them eventually! BUT feel free to nudge me if you want to remind me, I won’t mind!

Importantly, I match my partner’s energy. If someone frequently engages me to talk about our characters, I’m likely to do the same! Unfortunately, the same applies if we hardly interact or talk at all; I’m good at interacting and communicating first, but I have a limited pool of energy.

I do not ship romantically on this blog, minus with mixed-up-multiverse/gracie. I don’t mind others’ romantic content, I simply personally abstain from writing romantic ships due to being harassed over them in the past. However, I love familial ships, platonic ships, rivalries, work relationships, enemy/antagonistic dynamics, and relations that can't necessarily be defined with words!

ON FANDOMS & MEDIA.

Expect headcanons to sometimes fluctuate and also expect canon divergence. I also am keen on plotting when interactions take place, but no pressure!

I am unaffiliated with any fandoms or creators.

I will interact with/make AUs for the following fandoms. Still, they can be tagged upon request: Final Fantasy(i know the most about VII, VIII, IX, X, XV, Unlimited, Dissidia, Dissidia 012), Sonic The Hedgehog, Pokemon, Portal, Gravity Falls, Ducktales 2017, A Hat in Time, Little Nightmares, Over The Garden Wall, OMORI, IB, The Legend of Zelda, Don’t Starve, Pocket Mirror, Super Mario Bros., Spiderverse, and Overwatch. I am very selective but not opposed to Five Nights at Freddy's, Murder Drones and The Amazing Digital Circus interactions. For these, if I followed you first/we’re mutuals, then we’re chill!

& that's all! Please check out the muse list ^v^!

[brittle-doughie]

(I wanted to put some lore on this character, so let me yap for a while. Also, I may change this in the future so yeah.)

Blood Orange is the secret Ride or Die friend of Y/N cookie. He and Y/N have a sibling like relationship, always looking out for each other with a little of teasing every now and then. Blood Orange has a slew of personal problems. One being that his nerve system is completely destroyed and, most importantly, most of his emotions are gone. So it’s really hard to tell if he is actually carrying or not. (He does. DEEPLY)

Timeline wise Blood Orange would technically appear in Forgotten Academia as an illusion or Y/N mentioning someone who taught them about history. but officially in Snow on the Black Wall or Citadel of the Frozen Cliff. In those stories Blood Orange cookie would save Y/N at a certain part of them. 

In Snow of the Black Wall it would be repealing an attack from the Living Licorice Abyss. In Citadel of the Frozen Cliff it would be when Dark Cacao goes berserk and tries to attack Y/N.

From an outside perspective, it looks as though they were complete opposites. One being kind and caring while the other is cold. But in fact they’re both relevantly the same. 

As stated before most of his emotions are gone. The only ones remaining are fear and (some) anger. Meaning it’s extremely hard to trust anyone or for anyone to trust them…BUT. If one was to actually develop a relationship with Blood Orange. They’d find they’re like a more introverted Y/N and someone that DEEPLY cares about everyone. Trusting or not.

The only ones that he trusts the most are Y/N, Croissant, Dumpling, and Dark Cacao. Ones that he trusts the least are anyone above Epic…Especially two. White Lily and Pure Vanilla.

Blood Orange doesn’t trust ANYONE with any form of higher power out of fear they will abuse the hell out of it. Doesn’t if they’re the sweetest cookie around, they won’t be trusted as much like any epic or some Super Epic cookie.

Croissant cookie is an interesting case, as Blood Orange will be quick to notice her dislike of how he is Y/N’s Ride or Die. So he will temporarily drop it and would be called “Y/N’s old pall” instead. As a way of respecting Croissant cookie. Tho he will return to his old Status if she’s gone or allows it.

If you think Blood Orange is weak. Then you’d be in the afterlife or worse if you fought him. Blood Orange is grossly overpowered compared to the other powerful cookies. Here’s a list:

Time Stop - can stop the flow of time for 30 seconds or less

Space Manipulation - can change any physical thing he wants in a 15 meter radius. But has to made contact with something that has life in it in order to change it.

Life Energy control - has the ability to control life energy. Also comes with being able to bring back the dead and control life to a small degree.

Super Strength - explanatory 

Yeah, if anyone, or White Lily, wants to fight Blood Orange. Be prepared or PRAY that he spares your life. Cause you’ll basically be fighting against a god.

The powers are a bit peculiar, but everything I’d say is pretty interesting about Blood Orange, he’s a bro through and through. He’s got Y/N’s back and they’ve got his.

As for the title of bestest pal, yeah, that’s the one fight in his life that he will have trouble on!

[songofmadness]

Ok, Part 2: the Screaming Continues, I guess. Let’s have a quick look at the plot of NWN1. I’ve never actually played it, mostly because I was a bitty thing with no money when it came out, and now I’m old(ish) and the graphics are just below the level that my eyeballs can safely handle. So what I’ve been able to gather is from wikis and off the cuff mentions in various blogs. It was surprisingly hard to piece together, so if anyone can recommend a decent walkthrough, that’d be lovely. Alright, lets go...

Herein lies: an outsiders retelling of the plot of NWN1, with much rage-fueled flailing and confusion. There is a plague.

((This is Fine, I'm sure the subsequent games will at least take vague note of the fact that even a conservative third of the population suddenly dying is going to massively destabilise the economy and might very well lead to a decades long decline...)) Plague is being deliberately caused by BBEG1 Desther, at the behest of BBEG2, who is acting on behalf of BBEG3 the Evil Lizard Queen Morag.

(How do we know she's evil? It's literally right there in her name, in at least half the sources I tracked down trying to figure out this mess. She's a female lizard with epic teeth in a position of power! Of course she's evil. Also a slaveowner, because gods forbid we have a single instance of the Old Ones not being slavemongering shitweasels. That would be like having a Fantasy Desert Kingdom that isn't equally slavery themed! Can't be having that.) Desther's takedown leads to the remarkably stupid miscarriage of justice that is Fenthick's kneejerk execution. Dude just had shitty taste in friends, that really shouldn't be a hanging offence. But still, that's probably the best example of "medieval justice system" I've come across in any Forgotten Realms. Oh, were you standing adjacent to the guy who offended the Powers That Be? Too bad, good sir, you're dead now. And maybe your entire extended family with you! Fun.

Aribeth goes understandably apeshit due to her boyfriend's unjust execution (isn't the main religion of Neverwinter Tyr? Wut?), ELQ Morag whispers some probably quite reasonable sweet nothings in her ear -- "They killed your man, honey. Come to the darkside, we have cookies bloody vengeance!" -- and Aribeth nopes on out to lead an army of Luskans against Neverwinter.

Except. Why is Luskan now involved?? Other than the obvious reason: It Is Always Loki Luskan.

Long story short (and omitting at least six hours of me howling at my laptop), Luskan invades Neverwinter in 1372 as the grand culmination of NWN1's plot. Because.... reasons. IDFK. Why was Luskan even there? 

More to the point, why did Aribeth automatically seize upon Luskan as the best chance of achieving her vengeance? Because: 

1) she’d been in direct opposition against Luskan forces for ages, surely there had to be some kind of pushback against the Great Champion of Neverwinter suddenly showing up to take command, and 

2) Luskan’s kind of at a massive lowpoint right about then. Or at least they SHOULD BE. They’ve been kicked out of Ruathym (yet again) by the all powerful Lord’s Alliance, and they’re just finishing up a wildly unsuccessful five years trying to invade Mintarn and Orlumber. I don’t even know where that is, but I do know that five years of throwing your men away on nothing doesn’t leave you with much of a fighting force to play with.

Actually, also 3) This is right after Arklem Greeth goes full lich and reassumes control of both the Hosttower and the High Captains. Luskan has had a shit few years decades and now Daddy is home, and angry, and no one is getting away with nonsense right now. Why is Arklem F’ing Greeth handing this super a N g E r Y paladin/blackguard lady an army? Even if he wanted to (for the lulz, perhaps) how does he have YET ANOTHER ARMY to spare?

*deep breath* Ok. Ok, backing away from the Luskans for a minute. Before I actually start screaming. The ongoing nightmare that is Luskan can have it’s own post.

Right, anyway, Luskan invades, is foiled by the magnificent Hero of Neverwinter (very recently the sole graduate of their adventuring class!), Lizard Queen is also vanquished and Aribeth either dies or is later executed by her former friends. Nasher is so hacked off by this entire chain of events that he suppresses all information regarding this fuckery. Nevermind that he’s at least partly to blame - why did the KC get a lawyer despite being accused of mass murder and not Fenthick, who just assumed guilty by association? Excuse me, Tyr? Wut? And then....

World reset, I guess. I just. I have been in or adjacent to the SCA for long enough that even though my focus is very much not combat centred I have learned Much About War. Because that is often all anybody bloody talks about. And because I don't particularly care about combat itself, I generally meander off into "Ok, so there was this battle and this battle and this ten year stalemate in that region... what did that do to trade/the availability of dyestuffs for the next twenty odd years?" Because ultimately I just wanna dye some period accurate wool.

My painfully meandering point here is that the civilizations don't just bounce back after a war. They don't bounce back after a plague either. Especially one as virulent as the Wailing Death was meant to be. Every bit of lore I could scrounge about it keeps saying that "the [majority of the populace of Neverwinter] were dead or dying within a tenday". Wut?

How the hell is the city ever meant to recover from that? How is Neverwinter even functional as a city two years later? Where did all the new citizens come from? Where is the violent economic downturn stemming from the sudden traumatic loss of most of the previous citizens??

And why is Neverwinter accepting Luskan ambassadors TWO YEARS LATER?? Because lets not forget, I got into this mess trying to write a story set in NWN2. WHICH TAKES PLACE JUST TWO YEARS LATER. SOMEHOW.

Further rants about the aftermath of war and/or plague in medieval society to follow…

[cookierun-shipconfessions]

I'm going to be a little opinionated but crk started going downhill when they introduced the super epic gacha system reform. like the change of the system from useful items to useless gacha spins for rare/common soul stones really sapped the fun out of obtaining super epics. the newer pity systems of the nether gachas are good, but it doesn't take away from the fact that since the introduction of the super epic gacha change devsis really upped the pay to win elements of the game, even in they were gradually becoming more p2w by reducing compensation rewards ect. I wish they focused on game play and story mode content more than adding new cookies to pull for because kingdom gets so boring and frustrating nowadays with the amount of high rarity things they add that will only be useful for a short time 🫤

I'm not surprised that a gambling game is ykno...pay to win, but it's still rlly gross

I'm actually so happy they're being sued lol, i hope it ruins them to where they HAVE to get their shit together

[lunalunawillow]

Can we agree the Triple Cone Cup update kinda flopped 💀💀

Like aside from the story (I heard that one's good), the Cookies and the Romance Kingdom stuff everything is kinda...

Like the Triple Cone Cup is a banger concept executed in an awful way.Like who decided that the event for the whole seven weeks of the duration of the update would be just Arena grinding + usually something else that's boring like a repackaged Golden Age of Trade and a run-and-jump thingy?? And also it's seems so... rigged. Like most of the whales and active players just got thrown into Scovillia and now they're winning every season up to now with a big margin💀

The Capsaicin banner is so unnecessary.

First off as much as I like Capsaicin him being made a Super Epic makes no sense. Super Epics are a class between Epics and Legends/Ancients in terms of grandiose and most of the Cookies from it reflect that:

Clotted and Oyster are powerful politicians from arguably the most powerful nation in Earthbread

Sherbet had importance before in Lantern in the Snow and also is directly linked to Frost Queen

Stardust is straight up Moonlight's brother

Capsaicin is... ummm idk???

And also the pity system for his banner (it was also present in the Stardust banner and it sucks as much there as it does in Capsaicin's) is so so so bad. You literally have to really on luck to reach the flipping pity to get Capsaicin??

Oh and also don't forget we had a Super Epic right before this update.Joy /s.

All and all this update blew and I'm glad there's some small changes on the TCC coming out with Kouig Amann (btw very excited for her she's pink and a girlboss and we stan that on this house <3) and hopefully more adjustments to the other many issues plaguing the game are coming but for now I can't wait to move on to the next update and leave this one behind