#super bulk bags

[wwwquickpakinccom]

FIBC and Food Grade Bulk Bags

What are FIBC bulk bags?  When transporting or storing free-flowing materials, its packaging needs to be practical, easy to lift and maneuver with the ability to withstand movement whilst filled without damaging the materials they contain. Using poor quality, or the wrong type of bulk packing, can lead to the spillage of free-flowing materials. This highlights the importance of choosing the correct type of high-quality bulk packaging for the free-flowing materials you need to transport or store.

FIBC (Flexible Intermediate Bulk Container) bulk bags are industrial containers specially designed for transporting and storing free-flowing goods and materials. FIBC bulk bags can also be referred to as jumbo bags, big bags, super sacks, or even ton bags.

FIBC Bulk Bags from Quick Pak Inc, we supply a full range of FIBC bulk bags including builder bags, food bags, anti-static bags, and UN-certified bags for single or multi trips.

FIBC Types:  Food Grade bulk bags, Anti-static bulk bags, Aggregate and Builders bulk bags, Q-bags, or baffle bulk bags, Ventilated bulk bags.

Whatever your bulk bag packaging requirements, we have the solution and product for you. Our bulk bags can be manufactured to match your specifications, filling spout, discharge spout, skirt top, open top, single or multi trip and with various lifting solutions.

We supply FIBC 1-tonne bulk bags for many industries which are ideal for scaffolding and builder’s materials, aggregates, firewood & kindling, and even for the home & garden as they are both durable and high strength. Exceptional quality, these heavy-duty bags offer great value for money. The open-top flat base ensures easy fill and extraction of free-flowing materials as well as stability and strength.

If you are looking for bulk bag packaging, we can advise you on what best suits your needs in terms of style, design, and options. For more information on our bulk bags, call 813 242 6995 or reach us at sales@quickpakinc.com

[avnid]

FIBC Bulk Bags: What They Are and Their Uses

Flexible intermediate bulk holders, or FIBCs ( also known as big bags or super sacks), are large bags that can hold up to a ton, or in some cases indeed up to,1000 pounds, of dry goods. They're used for transporting “ flowable ” accoutrements like maquillages, grains, plastic bullets, beach, toxin, cement mixes, minerals, or spices.

FIBCs come in several types of designs, including four- panel,U-shaped, or cocoon designs. Filling ( or evacuating) is through an open top, spout, or duffel- style opening. These bags generally have handles on the corners through which the prickles of a for lift can be fitted for lifting.

FIBC bags are veritably strong but also featherlight, so they can contain nearly 300 times their weight in material. Indeed small reductions in weight can save on transportation costs and make payload and storehouse easier.

Grading

Utmost FIBC bags are made of woven polyethylene or polypropylene ( plastic) filaments. These filaments may or may not be carpeted. Specialty bags may be rated as food or pharmaceutical grade, voiced or agrarian bags (for transporting effects like bulk foods, which allows the material to “ breathe ” and help corruption), or bags tested to repel strict conditions to help discovering dangerous accoutrements.

Electrostatic Types

FIBC bags fall into four groups grounded on their electrostatic parcels. When lading or unloading accoutrements , disunion can beget stationary electricity, which can be veritably dangerous in surroundings that contain ignitable accoutrements or feasts.

FIBC bags are sorted into four groups grounded on whether the bag can dissipate stationary electricity to make them safe to use with ignitable accoutrements or in an terrain where combustive feasts or maquillages may be present

Type A no electrostatic parcels. These bags MUST NOT be used in combustive surroundings or to transport ignitable or combustive accoutrements .

Type B no means of dissipating stationary electricity. still, they're made of accoutrements with a low breakdown voltage, intended to drop the probability of dangerous encounter discharges. still, normal encounter discharges can still be, so these bags mustn't be used with ignitable accoutrements or in surroundings that contain them.

Type C these bags have conductive vestments or yarns woven in, which can dissipate stationary electricity when duly predicated. Although these bags can be used to transport some ignitable accoutrements , grounding is subject to mortal error. The bags wo n’t base duly if damaged, so these bags can still be dangerous in combustive surroundings.

Type D these are antistatic bags made from fabric that protects against stationary electricity, and they do n’t have to be predicated in the same way as Type C bags. still, if pollutants like grease or other ignitable or combustive accoutrements get on the face of the bag, the defensive parcels are compromised.

[ethan-fibc]

When a FIBC bag has a safety factor of 5:1, it means that the bag is designed and rated to hold a load that is five times greater than its working load limit (WLL). The working load limit is the maximum weight that the bag is intended to carry during normal use. For example, if a container bag has a WLL of 1000 kg, then its safety factor of 5:1 means that the bag is rated to hold a maximum weight of 5000 kg without failing or breaking. Having a safety factor of 5:1 is considered to be a high safety margin and ensures that the container bag is strong enough to handle unexpected or sudden loads without compromising safety. It is important to always follow the manufacturer's instructions and not exceed the WLL of the container bag to maintain safety.

[burstinn]

brother, brother. since you wrote the one for the very tall male reader, up to do one about a short guy who’s built as a bulk? champ’ll be like 5’6 but able to lift a man Ghost’s size

the guys teasing him about it but then he just challenges them and BOOM super strength

slight nsfw if possible, please, it’s 03:42am and I don’t want blue balls :(

dk mate just a thought, sorry for bothering

SHORT READER, STRONG AS FUCK THO-

((Headcanons))

People mentioned: Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Alex, Farah, Rudy, Alejandro.

Warning: slight nsfw that's it, I got lazy with Farah bbg Farah and Ale and Rudy.. AUGHH

Note:Readers height is not mentioned.. So just think of reader just shorter than the boys.

And this is only for the 141 team and associates hcs

No Kortac but will be adding the Mexican special forces I.e Alejandro, ++++

Hope you don't mind-

You have trained hard though you were shorter than most of your colleagues you were just as strong as them maybe even more.

Which caught the attention of the wild renowned John Price. When he saw you with your team during a mission and watched how you worked well, you could get into small spaces and could take out just as much men.

You were swift and efficient at your job and when he offered you to work for 141, you spent no time to think and immediately agreed.. I mean like YOU in the 141?!? With the high leagues?!? You wouldn't even pass up the chance!

PRICE

-Already impressed when he first saw you, he swiftly went to speak too laswell about you.

-Not to say she wasn't impressed as well though

-So you got an offer on the spot after your mission. But Price did give you time to think about it

-When you said yes he simply nodded his head an said "Can't wait to have you be part of the team"

-He gave you time to change your mind, pack up, say goodbye to your former teammates and superiors before hopping on the heli and flying off to your new team. Excited and nervous.

-When you hopped off the Heli a hop in your step as you approach the highly revered team. Price immediately walks up beside you patting you in your back and pushing you forward.

-Happily letting you introduce yourself.

- He knows how strong you can be he's just waiting for you to finally show your potential so the team can see why he let you join the team

GHOST

-He immediately frowned under his mask.. There's no way.. Well it's not that he's very judgy with recruits... But.. Goddamn you were short.. Hell shorter than Gaz.

-But he shook off those thoughts there must be a real good reason Price chose you.

-And he won't doubt his captains choice.

- Don't judge a book by its cover or something

- When you got around base, meeting everyone getting comfortable. He comfortable with you as well you're a neat guy.

- Though when it came to training. He saw how you worked.. Like shit you broke the punching bag for fucks sake. No one was expecting that not really, so now Ghost's got really interested in seeing you train.

- When people asked you and Ghost to spar with each other he is hesitant. I mean look at you and look at him. You breaking the punching was not expected yes, but people break shit all the time.

- Thinks he could easily beat you. Worst case he would probably break something of you

- You actually seem to encourage him to fight with you until he says yes.

- Eventually said yes and quickly tried to take you down before you roll under him and lift the fuck out him and throwing him.

- face under mask went like 😨😦😐🤨

- Yoo? Tried to tackle you fails miserably now your on top of him. Sitting down on his neck cuz 😏😏 Your holding his hands on top of his head too BECAUSE RAAAAAAA

- " You're going easy on me lieutenant.."

- Going easy on you huh? YOU WANNA KNOW WHERE ELSE HE WON'T GO EASY ON YOU?!?

GWHWBWBSNSJWAAAHAHAHAHA.

SOAP

-He furrows his brow, eyes really wide when he saw you.

-Then as if there was no more other thought in his head.. He just walked up to you and picked you up.. Like a cat.

-Earning him a smack on his head from Price then Ghost. He puts you down after that. Saying a short sorry.

-He gave you a small smile. Though small doubts trickled in his thoughts. He brushed it off. You looked cute anyway not like he would pass up another cute guy that atleast won't hide their face 😒😒. Ehem ehem..

-So when you got comfortable around base he swiftly started chatting you up. Pleasantly having a nice conversation as always with you.

- He likes picking you up like a cat

- when you can't reach something, he'd pull you up to his shoulders so you can reach it

- Gets infatuated with you.. Thinks you're so cute.

- Height Jokes

- When you called him over to see how you pull up weights. Putting fucking 4 HEAVY ASS weights on each side. And you FUCKING LIFT IT

- He got so hard it's unbelievable.

GAZ

- Oh.. Uh?

- 🤨

- He thinks you're cool.. Non chalant about your height.

- He would bully you sometimes.. But it's all no harm.

-Height Jokes

- Would keep stuff out of your reach he thinks its funny, except for the part where you kicked him straight in the balls.

- One day he did that again keeping something out of your reach dangling it over your head..

-You suddenly picked him up. It made him scream and he waddled in your arms and fell off.

- Falling in his ass. HOW DID YOU CARRY HIM? LOOK AT YOU!! HOW'D YOU DO THAT??

- He opened his mouth to idk.. Scold you. Asked you how you carried him..

- Then he shut himself up when you carried him princess wedding style and moving him while looking down at your stuff finding wherever he fell your stuff.

- Blushing hee hee a little princess being carried

- You eventually set him down and he silently walked away

- Would do it again more frequently.. He just wants to be carried wedding style again.

ALEX KELLER

- Huh? 🤨

- Confuckled

- Talked to Price about you.. Asking questions then finally confirmed that you are part of 141

- Thinks of you like a small lost child sometimes

- If he sees you walking around base has to do a double take then remembers it's you.

- You're short he sometimes forgets to look down too see you. It's not like you're that short.. It's just he keeps his head up since the team is yknow... Tall.. Well taller than you.

- one day he got mad because " you weren't there" when he was looking for you.. Even though you were literally near him.

- So you reached over and grabbed his collar to pull him down. He got shocked and tried to pull away..

- But goddamn you were holding his collar like a fuckin' champ.

- Blood immediately pumps to his face.. And pumps somewhere down there YK YKKKK! ! ! WAAHAHAHAHHA

FARAH

-Bro is an inch taller than her

- Side eyes you for a moment before nodding her head to herself.. She knows you're strong but she still judging you tho

- Calls you gay.

- Plays with your cheeks.. Stress reliever face cheeks. You're the easiest to reach anyway

- She did nun wrong to you really.. She just saw how you beat everyones asses literally

- like?? Huuh?

- Wants to be like you too. Small but strong asfuck

- Not like she's not like that anyway

- Strong woman real real

- Slay

- Just gives you a small smile everytime she sees you.. Just impressed..

ALEJANDRO

- Thinks you look like a child. Even asked about if you were a child.

- Also doesn't see you sometimes.. Especially when there are other taller people in the room probably covering you from his line of vision.

- Spanish word for small, tiny, mini, short, Gremlin... Yeah..

- If he's upset with you and you get the fucking balls to turn your body away from him. Hell if you even think to walk away

- He grabs you by the back of your shirt/ collar. And turns you to face him. Close so you can see how upset he is by you.

- You even dare to give him a scowl.. Oh my god.. He'd either want to slam you on the floor or wall. Maybe scream in Spanish on you.

- May or may not still be angry with you. Or he let's you run off because he doesn't want to deal with you.

- ..... (make up sex..)

RUDY

- Treats you like a child even though he knows you aren't

- Asks you if you're okay if you even graze a shoulder, would put a hand on your head and ruffles it

- Also Spanish nickname for small... Bla bla bla

- Sometimes he picks you up and carries you around on his shoulder. Even with your protests, telling him how it's so damn embarrassing.

- it is but he don't care.. He thinks it's funny.

- Then if you turn the tables spinning him around with your legs. And flipping him over making him hit his head on the floor.

- Audible groan.. And looks at you like 😧🙁☹️

-Why'd you do that? ☹️☹️ kinda face

- Then Wait how'd you do that? 🤨🤨 face

- Now you show him your amazing ass Strength even though you're small asfuck

[sanjifucker42069]

Looks Like Lingerie to Me - Sanji x Reader

Word count: 854

We gender-neutral and short af today boys. This is crack treated semi-seriously lmao, and an actual drabble. I love idiot!readers, there isn't enough rep for us dumbasses. This is written with OPLA!Sanji in mind bc I dig the super effective suave vibe

Suggestive, there's swearing, the word cock is used once. Brief description. (Ha! Brief!)

Let's be real...Sanji might wears shirt stays....and that's hot as fuck

It was midday when you found yourself outside the men's quarters. You had been lounging around on the upper deck when Usopp had asked you to grab a wrench he'd left in his room. Fair enough, you weren't doing anything, wouldn't hurt to help. And so you padded off, making your way to the bedroom. It was the middle of the day, no one should be in there. You'd passed Zoro napping against some bags, you could still hear Luffy. Sanji definitely had to be in his domain of the kitchen. Still, you offered a quick courteous knock as you flung open the door to the men's quarters, wandering into the space with no preamble.

"Sorry boys, I gotta grab Usopp's- Holy shit!"

Sanji's head shot up to stare at you, cheeks lightly pink. He was stooped over, pants pooling at his knees. Sure, his thick thighs were enticing, and his position stuck that gorgeous ass out at a delicious angle, but your eyes were fixated on the crossing fabric that adorned his upper legs. Was that…a garter belt? You felt lightheaded at the view before you. He looked delectable. The cook quirked an eyebrow at your staring.

"See something you like, love?" He drawled, sending you a cocky grin. Sanji felt his ego swell when you tripped over your words. Had you actually paid attention, you'd notice how his usual clothes were covered in flour, but you weren't exactly the most perceptive.

"I…thighs." You spoke dumbly, causing you to mentally smack yourself. "I mean, sorry. I didn't think anyone would be in here at this time." 

With great hardship, you tore your eyes away from the garment. It looked like a garter belt, had to be! You always knew Sanji liked fashion, and that he could be a pervert, but you didn't expect him to be unembarrassed at being caught wearing lingerie. As if they were possessed, your eyes trailed their way back to his thighs. The elastic was biting into his thigh meat, bulk deliciously spilling over the edges. Saliva flooded your mouth. What you wouldn't give to touch them. To bite them. Fuck what if you-

Wait. 

Sanji had said something.

"Wha?" 

Nice going idiot.

Sanji had abandoned his grip on the trousers, gracefully dropping them and stepping out of the puddle of fabric. Your breath hitched as he turned to you.

Abort mission! 

Fuck you didn't even look at his underwear. Shit, fuck, that…that was clearly the outline of his cock, a pair of grey boxer briefs doing a horrible job at hiding his silhouette. You were thankful that the length of his dress shirt covered the majority, or you'd be due a visit to chopper from fainting.

"I said can I help you, love?"

An awkward cackle escaped your throat and you blushed. Oh, he could help you alright. Instead, you opened your dumb mouth again.

"Is that…why are you wearing a garter belt?"

Sanji froze. An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

Oh shit! Oh fuck!

You opened your mouth to apologise when that bell-like laugh permeated the awkwardness. 

"What?" He laughed incredulously. "They are shirt stays."

Sanji felt his heart squeeze when you cocked your head confused. You really had no idea how cute you were, did you? Trying to be polite and stop laughing, he coughed into his fist.

"They keep my shirt tucked in sweet thing. Can't be looking unprofessional around you cuties." Sanji winked, smirking with satisfaction as your face grew redder. He expected an 'oh' or a 'sorry'. He certainly didn't expect a;

"I'd call having no pants but lingerie on unprofessional."

"You were the one who bust in here!" He argued. "And it's not lingerie!"

"Ah…sorry about that. I meant to grab a wrench Usopp left in here. I…uh…I should go."

"Mmhmm." 

You wandered stiffly to where Usopp slept, finding the tool with ease, and trying desperately to not look at the cook. Sanji watched you, amusement clear on his face at your robotic movements. Wasting no time, you rushed back to the door. 

"Oh, uh, Sanji?" The man hummed in response. "I, uh, I'm sorry for thinking you were wearing lingerie. Not! Not that there's anything wrong if you were, you'd look hot in it. I mean! I….uh…no, you'd definitely look hot in it. What was I saying?"

Silence. Sanji was staring at you with wide eyes, face now red from your comments. You clicked your fingers.

"Right, right! You should probably put some clothes on. Don't want you catching a cold ha ha." You forced out a robotic laugh. "Sorry again."

You slammed the door shut, leaving a confused and slightly aroused man in your wake. Sanji sighed, making his way back to his sleeping area to change into clean clothes. The door creaked back open. Sanji groaned quietly. Who now?

"You have to admit, they are kinda slutty though, right? Sorry! Bye again!"

You were gone before Sanji could even process your words properly. He groaned audibly this time, raking his hands down his face. He needed a fucking smoke. You were going to be the death of him.

[certifiedbueckethead]

horror film 🎞️ ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

paige bueckers x horror movie fan!reader

warnings: public sex, fingering

word count: 2.1k

a/n: hey <3 this was a request, I hope I wrote this to your liking :) please let me know if you have any other requests <3

readers pov:

For months you’ve seen trailers and you’ve gotten super excited for the release of the film, "Smile". You knew Paige can barely sit through Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, so even asking her to see an actual horror film wasn’t something you were planning on doing. 

After straightening your long dark hair and putting on a simple, comfy outfit consisting of one of short, black cropped tank top and a pair of sweatpants you walk out of your room to your living room of your shared dorm. You shared it with Paige and a few of her teammates, so when you walk into the room it’s filled with voices and laughter. Paige, who is sitting on the couch glances up from her phone and gives you a warm smile. She gets up and walks over to you and brings your hips closer to you. “Hi there, pretty.”, she says, grinning widely. “Hi there Paigey”, you reply, pecking her lips. She places a soft kiss on your forehead before pulling you closer to her in her arms. “What's up my sweet girl, you going out? Your hair is so nice.”, she says, reaching up to play with it. 

You debate telling her where you’re going because you’re afraid that she’ll want to come along and you didn’t want her to get scared. But, you couldn’t lie to save your life. “Just going to see a movie.”, you say, hugging her back. “Oh which one, let me get changed and we can go together, no need to go alone.”, she says, pulling away from you to go get changed. “P, it’s a horror film, it’s okay you don’t have to come, I just really wanted to see it, I don’t mind going alone.”, you say, in a reassuring tone. Paige turns around to face you and blinks a few times, you can tell she is trying to decide if she wants to come in her head. “Uhm, maybe we could see something else that’s not too scary you know, horror films have bad acting and it’s just really lame.”, she says, clearly wanting to spend the evening with you. 

KK shouts out from the couch, “AWE IS PAIGE AFRAID??”, giggling, very much trying to rile her up. Azzi joins in and decides to tease her as well, “It’s okay Paige if you’re scared, we can put some cocomelon on until Y/n get’s back.”, she jokes. Paige, competitive as she is, refuted back, “No I know the film is scary, I don’t want her getting scared you know.”, she says, crossing her arms. You laugh to yourself, you know her well enough but you decide to see how far she’ll go. 

Paige gets ready and you both head out, you driving in case the movie really shakes her up. You’ve seen reviews on the film since it came out a few days ago and you know it’s pretty terrifying. You stop at the nearest bulk barn, running in for a minute while leaving Paige in the car - as much as she tries to convince you to let her go in, you know she’ll take her sweet time. You get a few of her favorite snacks and put them in your bag so you can sneak it into the movie theater. Let’s be real, movie theater food is overpriced, and as a college student you weren’t willing to drop $100 knowing that you and Paige love your snacks. 

You drive over to the theater and Paige gets a blanket that she had put in the backseat to bring in and a plushie. She’s absolutely adorable, and you both know she is scared but you don’t mention it. It was clear enough she didn’t want to damage her ego in front of her teammates over a simple movie. She reaches for your hand as you walk towards the building, and you squeeze her hand to reassure her. “Paigey, I got some snacks for us and I got the tickets while I waited for you to change so all we have to do is scan.”, you tell her and she hums in response, probably nervous. 

The movie starts and you both sit in the back corner, away from most of everyone else. It’s semi packed, which isn’t surprising because it’s a bit later in the evening on a weekday, people have work or school in the morning so you were glad it wasn’t too packed.  

The usual movie advertisements start to play and you pass Paige her snacks, seeing her wrapped in the blanket she brought, shoes off and had taken advantage of the fact that the armrest could move up and she had her feet on your lap. She’s scrolling through her phone, still nervous and you decide to say something. “Paigey, come on you don’t have to sit through this, you won’t be able to sleep through the night.”, you tell her, concerned. She shakes her head, not taking her eyes off her phone. You feel your phone buzz a few times, and she’s going through your highlights on instagram and reliking all the photos in them. How cute. 

The movie begins and Paige is okay, until it starts to pick up. She had moved her feet off of you and was curled into a ball, hiding her face under the blanket. You set a hand on her knee, to give her a bit of comfort. A few jump scares later, she is hiding her head in your shoulder and you feel her body shaking a bit. You laugh, she chose this for herself but let her confidence overtake her. You rub her back gently, and the movie is about halfway finished when she looks genuinely terrified. 

“Paige, okay come here.”, you stand up and grab her shoes, leaving the rest of your stuff on the seats. To your dismay, those damn theater chairs flip up when you get up, suffocating all of your stuff. Paige, finding this funny giggles a bit, and you are glad that she took her mind off the film for a moment. You take her hand and lead her out of the screening room and to the bathroom. Once you both find an empty stall you go into it together and you pull her into your arms. “Paige.”, is all you say as she clings to you, and you rock side to side. It was a wholesome moment for the both of you, you usually don’t see her like this - but the fact that people are flushing the toilets around you slightly ruined it. 

You peck both of her cheeks, her nose, her forehead and then her lips and you can tell she is already feeling a bit better. “We don’t have to finish the film lovely, I can grab our stuff and we can go, would you like that?”, you suggest and Paige returns with a nod, staring at the floor. “No honey, it’s okay don’t be upset okay? I swear, I can see this film another time.”, you tell her, looking her in her pretty eyes to make sure she understands. She clears her throat, “Can I.”, she pauses and looks up to you. “Can I make it up to you perhaps, I don’t know it doesn’t sit right that you had to miss your movie so at least let me make it up to you.”, she tells you and you cup her cheeks. “No sweetheart, you don’t have to worry about anything okay?”, you tell her, not knowing what she was even referring to. Before you know it, she's getting down on her knees and playing with the strings on your sweatpants. Looking up at you for your approval, you pause. “Paige really, it’s alright.”, you try to reason with her, you didn’t want to force her to do something especially when she was just having a rough time. “It’ll take my mind off the movie mamas, I like seeing my pretty girl get weak under my touch and I like tasting you. It’s so much more sweet than the candy.”, she says, whispering. 

Considering that you were talking pretty normally beforehand in the washroom , you are surprised she decided to speak quieter, but it would be pretty embarrassing to get caught like this. You agree with her, and let her do her thing. 

Paige pulls down your sweatpants, letting them pool at your feet. She gently grabs your hips, pushing your back against the stall. She begins to run her hands against your now naked thighs, and you shiver. How is it April and the air conditioning is on like it is mid-July? Paige lifts your tank top up just over your belly button and places warm kisses against you. Suddenly, all that you need is her touch. She makes her way to your underwear, plays with the pastel pink lace and lovingly runs her tongue against your clothed clit. You feel yourself shiver a bit and she reaches for your hand, holding it softly. She uses her other hand to slide down your lace underwear, pooling at your feet along with your sweatpants now. She takes this as an opportunity to slide a finger between your folds, feeling the pool of wetness that occurred to all of her gentle advances. Her lips meet your clit, and you feel yourself buck your hips due to the lack of touch. You and Paige haven’t fucked in a while, it’s been hard since all of your roommates are in the off season and all enjoy rotting in the house. Every time you tried something, you were always interrupted. So this, this is what you need. 

Paige begins to suck slowly on your clit, and you use the hand that isn’t holding her’s to cover your mouth to quiet yourself. You are starting to feel glad that she didn’t listen to you earlier when you had told her she didn’t have to do this. You let yourself unravel under her touch, you let her do her work as she makes you closer and closer to finishing, dipping her tongue into you whilst looking up at you, in your eyes. You could barely take it, she was doing so well. You loved being talked through it, but this was different. The fact that anyone could catch on and figure out what the two of you was driving you over the edge. Paige has switched from using her tongue in you, to curling 3 fingers into your dripping wet cunt. You start to panic and the wet noises become too loud, but you couldn’t control it - it was all of her doing. Paige, no longer looking distressed like she did earlier, looked so hot. Cheeks flushed pink, hair in a messy ponytail so it didn’t get in her way and her lips glistening with your wetness. The two of you couldn’t help smiling at each other as you were reaching your high. 

You feel yourself getting closer and you finally get that familiar feeling in your stomach as Paige is slowly fucking you with her long fingers. Her nails are fairly short, but  since it has been a while they’ve grown out a bit more than usual and you could feel them inside you and it felt absolutely heavenly. You needed to cum, you had to, it's been too long since the last time you had the chance to. You grip her hand and try to move it away, you were going to be loud no matter how hard you tried. Paige, looking back at you, took out her fingers, and finished you off with her tongue. Before you knew it, you had finished on her face and gasp left your lips. Paige had the most goofy grin on her face, knowing that she was able to do this for you.

You finally calmed down and reached down for some toilet paper, and cleaned her face for her and she helped you pull up your bottoms, and when she finally stood she kissed you. It was so loving, not as needy as she had made you earlier. “Paigey, you did so well.”, you tell her, rubbing her nose against her’s. You feel her smile against your lips when you kiss her again, and she holds your hand as you leave the stall to retrieve your stuff. 

You both end up giggling, seeing everyone leaving the screening room, knowing the movie was over. Paige calls out from behind you, as you are walking up the steps to get your stuff, ‘Please ma, don’t tell the team I got scared, it’ll make me look weak.”. You continue to giggle and pick up your stuff. “Sure P, whatever you say.”, you tell her, while passing her the blanket. “Maybe you should take Azzi and KK next time to see a horror film, because if I tag along, I will be expecting us to do this again mamas”, Paige says, poking your waist. You playfully push her and shake your head, “You know, that may not be a bad idea P.”

[themindofachronicdaydreamer]

The Cat Distribution System

fluffy fluff fluff plot: you find a stray kitten and bring it home to Gojo content: alludes to smut, cats, mentions of violence (curses), established relationship, reader referred to as girlfriend word count: 3.1k satoru gojo x reader note: thank you for readingggg :) this is my first so be patient with me. it is purely self indulgent & I am still learning and trying to improve! not proofread super thoroughly so sorry for mistakes! love you <3

Of anything in the world, Gojo was certain he was cats were your favorite. 

This might be able to explain why you start smiling at your phone every time there’s a cat on it. 

This may explain your constant stream of texts to him of pictures of the most adorable cats from the internet or funny TikToks starring kittens being absolutely hilarious. 

It could explain why you constantly dragged him to places that have cats, whether it be a pet shelter or a newly popular cat cafe in the area. 

This might explain why you absolutely broke down when seeing a stray little kitten crying in an alleyway of Tokyo. 

It may explain how, in the middle of a mission, you dropped everything to go to the nearest convenience store, bought a bulk-sized pack of churu sticks to feed the lonesome kitten, and gave it all the pets it ever wanted. 

That also may explain why you just arrived back home earlier than expected - but with a cat. 

Walking into the door of yours and Gojo’s shared apartment, you shout, “I’m home!”

Gojo, who is sitting on the couch watching an old movie while eating a bag of gummy worms, is confused. It was his day off and he had been bored all day, not having you or anyone else available to bother relentlessly for his own entertainment. He had gone for a walk, tried a new restaurant, and came back home just as bored and with many more sweets. He could always sense your specific cursed energy from afar, so he knew you were nearing him before you even reached the door. While he’s in no way complaining about having more time with you, he’s still curious as to what cut the mission short. Before he could vocalize his question, you continue on. 

“Satoru! Where are you? You’ll never guess what happened. You’re a dad now!” You excitedly wonder aloud, knowing he’s home and that will catch his attention if you hadn’t already. 

Gojo is immediately confused. His mind runs a through a long list of possibilities to solve what riddle you just set in front of him. A dad? Yeah, you two may practice creating kids every now and then, but he was certain you weren’t pregnant the past nine whole months. He would know that, right? Wouldn’t it be noticeable? Not in a bad way, just in the nature of growing a human in you and the way your body would adjust to that. He’s sure you would tell him you were pregnant though, or that he would figure it out before eventual labor. Well, he knows you would tell him. You definitely would. You’ve talked about that before. So what isn’t he getting here?

“Sweetheart?” Gojo calls for you while quickly standing up and making his way toward the hallway at the entrance. He stops not too far from the couch when he hears a little squeak. 

Was that… a meow?

He doesn’t have time to think through the noise as you exit the hall and turn the corner toward him. A tiny fur ball is cradled in your arms, eyes wide in curiosity of its new surroundings. Immediately, any question in Gojo's mind was answered.

“Meet Suki!” Your face lights up as you move your arms toward your boyfriend, displaying the cat the best you can. Gojo smiles widely as he looks at your new little bundle of joy - a likely malnourished tiny kitten with a goopy right eye, dirty fur, and potentially (probably) fleas. Immediately he starts fawning over it. 

“Awwwwwwwwwe!“ Gojo said coos as he tilts his head and forms grabby hands reaching toward you and the kitten. With the sudden movement, the claws of the kitten dig into your skin a bit out of fear. She looks up at you, pupils dilated, seemingly asking for help. 

“Saturo, be slow and gentle with her, please! She’s a little nervous still,” you explain to him. The kitten was found alone and while she was not feral, it was obvious she had not had much interaction with people. Plus, when you stumbled on her, you were mid-fight. While the chances of her being able to see the curses are quite low, it felt like she could sense the tension in the surrounding atmosphere as she was cowering behind a dumpster, only coming out when she smelled the delicious churu you had in your hand.

“I’m sorry, baby. She’s just so cute!” Gojo exclaims, causing you to giggle and nod your head in agreement.

Gojo slowly and ever-so carefully reaches his hand toward Suki to allow the cat to sniff him. She recoils a bit, untrusting of the stranger. After thinking about it for a second, Suki sniffs Gojo’s hand, looking quizzically at his snowy white hair. She then turns and snuggles back into you and away from Gojo. He freezes in his position, mouth slightly agape due to the rejection. A small huh? escapes him. 

“I think she’s exhausted. She had a long day. Maybe she’ll be more comfortable after a nap,” you explain after seeing Gojo develop a pout from the rejection. You figured she was still sensitive to new people and was already tired, so you didn’t want to push her more than you already had when trying to feed her earlier. “I bought some stuff at a convenience store and stuffed it in my purse to take care of her before taking her to the vet tomorrow, so I’m gonna go run her a bath.” 

“Wait, wait!" Satoru exclaimed. He was already beginning to miss your attention being solely on him, so he prolonged talking to you and you leaving him to bathe the cat. "Let me guess - you were fighting, saw her, quickly ended the fight because you were only entertaining them to cure your boredom as the typical sorcerer does, helped her, and now you’re here?” Gojo guesses, causing you to gasp and shake your head no.

“No! That is absolutely not what happened. I saw her, immediately exorcized the curses, got her some food, and then I called Nanami to take over for me because of a ‘family emergency’,” you said while using finger quotes. You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance as you continued, exasperated, “I wasn’t done with my mission, but I wouldn’t just leave it unfinished, Satoru! What kind of sorcerer do you think I am?” 

“Sorry, princess,” Satoru responds as he shakes his head with a chuckle. He watches as you lovingly look at the creature in your arms, mesmerized by the shape of your jaw and the soft smile on your lips. He gives your hair a quick tousle before continuing, “You’re m’favorite sorcerer. The best one out there. Other than me, of course.”

You look up at him, a faint blush spreading across your features. You gave him a disapproving look for his last comment, but the hue of your cheeks gave away the fact that you still get flustered when he compliments you. You gently push on the tips of your toes, lifting yourself up enough to lean toward your boyfriend. After a chaste kiss on his cheek, you hear a meow from your arms. Looking at the kitten, she repeats the same little sound. 

“What, you jealous?” Satoru teases the animal. “You want her attention? Can’t stand to spare a second for a kiss on my cheek?”

You let out a laugh as Suki gives Gojo what you would consider a dirty look. He picks up on it too, clicking his tongue at the kitten and again turning his attention to you. “Friendly, isn’t she?” he states, sticking his tongue out at Suki. 

“Right now, she's shy and nervous,” you answered, heading toward the guest bedroom in the apartment. You knew that at this rate if you did not leave now, you would never be giving her a bath. “I’m gonna use the guest bath.”

“Do you need help?” Gojo asked. He followed behind you, a puppy craving the attention of its owner.

“Actually, yeah. Look, I know it’s late and that this is a big ask, but I didn’t have the hands to get her more food and essentials. Can you go out for me and get some things? I’ll send you a list,” you give him pleading eyes you know never fail to make his knees weak and heart flutter. You wanted to grab these things before, but you could not bring yourself to leave the kitten alone for a second longer than she already had been for who knows how long. You were going to go later that night so as to not bother Satoru - but since he offered and you are a little tired, why not have him do it for you? A quick run to the pet store for some scratching boards, dry food, wet food, and other basics wouldn’t be the worst you’ve ever asked of him. 

“Yeah, honey, of course. Text me the list, yeah? I’ll get going now,” Satoru, your savior in flesh and bone, agrees as he flashes you a big, toothy smile, then moves to grab his keys.

“Thank you, Toru,” you say as you cuddle the kitten closer. 

Satoru smiles at the sight he knows he is going to grow to love; you looking at the kitten like she is your entire world, while he looks at you knowing you are his.

"Anything for you. I love you," Satoru says as he walks around to hug you from behind and not disturb Suki. He presses a kiss to your head, you melting into his touch.

"Alright, let me give her a bath! Stop stalling me," you say. Satoru releases you from his grasp. You turn to face him to see his face has a pout once again.

"Gimme a kiss before I go, please?" He says, then puckers his lips and leans forward.

"You're a dork," you say, but continue to lean in and kiss him. "But I love you too."

------

With Suki now bathed to the best of your ability and eating another churu stick while in a big fluffy blanket, you are beginning to wonder what is taking your boyfriend so long. The pet store is not a far walk and is an even closer drive, yet you finished the bath about an hour and a half ago.

Just on cue, you hear the front door open after a slight struggle. Suki's ears perk up, but she is too tired and invested in eating the churu that she does not even bother to glance in the direction.

You hear quick footsteps until Gojo appears from the hallway. With a big box under one arm and a couple tote bags full of things that you can't quite tell what they are, he stumbles into the kitchen. He quickly sets everything down, giving you a better sight of what all he has. You see the big box was a cat tree, and in the bags is a variety of canned food, wet food, treats, toys, tunnels, collars, more treats, multiple automatic food and water bowl sets, and a couple of outfits. This is why you never send Gojo on errands.

"Satoru, you bought way too much!" you say. You motion to the bags of stuff he put down as he walks toward you with an innocent smile on his face.

"I actually think I didn't buy enough. I figured you would want a say in some things though, so I held off. A little bit," the man in question responds. He then pulls out a little box of icing covered treats with sprinkles on them. "I even got her sweets!"

Suki - coincidentally - now decides to acknowledge her new father's presence, meowing at him from across the room in her blanket. Gojo looks over and coos as he walks over to her.

"Hi sweet girl, did you have a scary day? Do you want some delicious treats to celebrate you coming home today?" He opens the box toward the kitten, who stares at it, sniffing the aroma she finds so enticing. She then walks forward, rubs her head against the hand holding the box, and meows again. Gojo giggles as he takes the treat out of the container to help the cat.

Your heart feels like it is about to burst. Watching the two interact brings you so much joy, and with how welcoming Gojo has been ever since you spurred this on him, you could not be more excited. He takes his phone out of his pocket and takes a billion pictures of the new addition to the family.

"Tell me everything, baby. How'd you find her? How was the mission? I'm sure Nanami is pissed," Gojo says to you after he puts his phone away.

You had wanted a cat for a while, but it never seemed like the right time. With you and Gojo being jujutsu sorcerers, you had been worried about leaving a new cat alone for an extended period of time or not being able to come home to it. You had considered it once you and Gojo finally moved in, but life never seemed to give you a break, and here you are now.

Still, you did not yield even a single hesitation about leaving this kitten behind. The second you saw her, you were hers.

"Mission was easy, just annoying. Found her behind a dumpster in an alley. Nanami was only slightly irritated. I told him that it's just the cat distribution system, and that no one could deny fate," you shrug your shoulders.

"Oh yeah, like those videos you send me? Where cats just choose their new owner?" Gojo says, causing you to smile.

"You actually watch all of those?" You questioned.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" he says, appearing genuinely confused.

"Dunno, I just send them a lot. But yeah, you're right. The second I saw her, I had a feeling," you elaborated. "She was mine!"

Satoru thinks to the first time he saw you back at Jujutsu High on the first day there. He remembers every detail: how you did your hair that day (two braids with black bows at the ends of them), who you were with (Shoko, a childhood best friend of yours), the way you laughed (a cute little laugh, throwing your head back at Shoko's joke). He remembers time moving so slowly, he felt like he was staring at you for hours. Suguru Geto, his new friend, stared at Gojo's frozen features and sighed, waving Shoko, another new friend, over.

Gojo can recall clear as day how your hair framed your face, your eyes stared into his icey ones hidden by black shades, and how you introduced yourself to him.

He knew then that you were different. He knew you were going to be in his life for a while. You were his, and he was yours. He just had a feeling.

Who knew that one day comparing his love for you to your love for your new kitten you found, mid-fight and in a dark, Tokyo alley?

He just can't contain his giddiness toward you anymore. You were so cute, so soft, and so sweet. He wanted to dote on you and shower you in all of the love he could.

"God, baby. You are the cutest thing I have ever seen!" He exclaims as he pinches your cheeks.

"Stop, Toru," you wave him off. "I thought we were talking about Suki?"

"You were. You just distract me," he says, a hand coming up to stroke your cheek. He leaned in and placed a kiss on your forehead. "How could you not when you look so adorable?"

A little meow echoes throughout the room.

"Do not flirt with me in front of our child! She is clearly uncomfortable," You jokingly tease your beloved boyfriend.

Gojo glares at Suki, who is still eating her treats, content with her new life of luxury.

"Ugh. Way to cockblock, Suki," Saturo groans as he flashes the innocent kitten the finger

"First of many," You add, smiling. You swat at his outstretched hand, grabbing it and pulling it into you. You smile up at him, pulling his blindfold up so you can see his eyes, and giving him a loving kiss. "I love you, Toru."

"I love you more, cutie."

As much as you cats are your favorite of anything in the world, you know it is impossible to love anything more than you love Satoru Gojo. As you stare into his eyes, you know he knows that too.

Cats are a very near second place, though.

Bonus

Your phone rings with a familiar ringtone. You look down to see Megumi's contact staring back at you and press answer, lifting the phone to your ear.

Before you could even say hello, you hear, "Now why the hell did you get a cat?"

"Hello to you, too, Megumi. My day has been great, thanks!" You tease. "Yeah, yeah. Now why?"

"How do you even know? I was gonna tell you next time I saw you," you ponder, already having an idea of the answer to your question.

"Gojo posted it everywhere already. Every story. Every single one," Megumi confirmed your suspicions. "Answer my question, please? I am not the most fond of those things."

"It's the cat distribution system," Megumi hears another voice in the background say.

"The what?"

Suddenly, the phone is lifted from your hands, your boyfriend having replaced you in speaking to Megumi. "Hey, Gumi!"

"Gojo? I said not to call me that," Megumi groans, although you know he doesn't really mind the nickname.

"The cat distribution system is a phenomenon where stray cats choose a random owner, and the new owner must take care of the cat because simply, the cat decides it will!" Gojo explains. "Isn't that cool? My Suki-bear was all alone and my lovely girlfriend here brought her to the safety of our humble abode."

Megumi is silent for a moment before huffing, "There is no way you actually believe that."

A mischievous smirk appears on Gojo's face as he says "Megumi, are you afraid of cats?"

Megumi began stuttering nonstop as he said, "N-No, I... I just... I don't like them. Um. I... I'm allergic?" Gojo laughs at this response, causing Megumi to scoff. "Whatever."

The line goes silent, and Gojo hands you the phone. He looks at your irritated expression with an unwavering smile.

Before you could say anything, a little meow is heard, causing Gojo to laugh before saying, "Right, Suki? What a loser! Who wouldn't love you?"

-----

the ending isnt my fave but i hope you enjoyeeddddd thank you for reading all this way ilyyyyyy

[brossession-collection]

Becoming His Type (Male Possession)

"Ur a nice guy man! Seriously. But ur just not my type. Like 'em beefier haha. Happy to train ya still if you're okay with that."

Jason read the text over and over. "What a fucking douche" he thought, teeth clenched, as he gripped his phone.

Two weeks ago Jason had built up the courage to talk to his beefy gym crush, Carson. Jason wasn't the biggest dude. His 5'8 frame and 155lb stature wasn't anything to brag about, but he had gotten to a lean athletic build that he worked on for months. He thought, atleast, Carson would hold a conversation with him now that he was kinda lean.

And he did. Carson nodded at Jason as he walked up, Jason quivering as he asked the big guy if he had any diet tips.

The two hit it off, or at least that's what Jason thought. "Hey I gotta get back to my set bro, but what say we keep chatting later? You free tomorrow morning?" Carson's deep voice put Jason into a horny stupor. He repeated his question which brought Jason back to earth.

Later that night...

Jason sat up in bed, rubbing his b*ner, as he thought about Carson's thick biceps and pillowy pecs. "I can't believe he fucking TALKED to me!" Jason squealed as he tweaked his nipples, imagining Carson wrap his arms around him, the smell of his musky armpits wafting into his nose. He barely remembered anything that the big jock actually said, but he couldn't care less. Jason drifted off as his fantasy turned into a dream.

The next morning at the gym...

"And that's all there is to it bro. Track the macros, eat a ton of protein, and don't stop bulking for a year. Then you'll get a belly like mine heh." Carson gave his protruding stomach a slap as Jason winced while he watched the strong mass jiggle.

"W-wow uh yeah I'd love that..." Jason managed to get whimper out. "I-I mean... yeah! I'll definitely do that! M-m-maybe you could also show me some exercise tips?"

"Hah sure little guy we can have a first sesh. On the house." Carson got off the bench he was sitting on and nudged (pushed) Jason down. "Let's see what you got baby. Bench presses first.

Jason then worked his ass off the entire morning to try to impress his crush. Every once in a while, he'd notice Carson looking off across distance, obviously eyeing a big bear slightly older than him. Carson would eventually get back to Jason, but the lean man knew something was up

Later that night...

"What the hell should I text him? 'Thanks for hanging with me earlier big guy wanna date?' 'You're super cute wanna cuddle?'" Jason lied in bed anxiety-ridden.

He saw a text come in instead.

Carson: "Sup Jason how ya doing?"

Carson: "Muscles aching yet? Srry if it was too much for ya."

Jason flinched for a second before typing back. "Oh sup Carson. Yeahhhh haha kinda hurts."

He waited for a second before sending another text.

Jason: "oh and thanks for the session today dude I appreciate it"

Carson: "yea bro anytime. Need more good looking guys like you getting big"

Jason blushed as his boner came in. "Should I just ask him out?" he thought. "Fuck it."

Jason: "Yeah! I'd love to keep doing this with you man. You're super hot. Honestly could be fun to date if you're down."

Jason put down his phone in fear. He felt a vibrate and slowly picked it up.

Carson: "Bro what lol"

Carson: "Shit sorry man didn't realize you felt like that."

Jason gripped his phone as he watched Carson type.

Carson: "Ur a nice guy man! Seriously. But ur just not my type. Like 'em beefier haha. Happy to train ya still if you're okay with that."

Jason felt his teeth clench. He stopped texting and threw it onto his night stand. "What a fucking douche," he thought. "Dude just saw me as another client. As a walking fucking money bag." Jason felt tears start to streak down his face.

The next morning at the gym...

Jason watched from a distance near the locker rooms as he saw Carson laughing with the muscular daddy bear he was eyeing yesterday. "He already fucking forgot about me" Jason muttered under his breath.

He squinted as he watched the two big men take their phones, possibly to exchange numbers. With a grin, Carson gives the man a hug before the two walk off in opposite directions.

"Oh shit he's coming this way!" Jason started to whistle as he the big bearded daddy strut past him to go into the locker room. Jason shuddered as he noticed the pure gargantuan size of the man. "Fuck... He's huge."

For some reason, Jason felt compelled to follow the bear. He hopped into the locker room and watched as the man posed in front of the mirror and took a selfie.

"He's probably sending that to Carson..." Jason thought.

Suddenly, the big guy turns around and sees Jason stalking him.

"What the fuck do you want twink? Been seeing you follow me around all morning."

Jason flinched from how direct the huge man was. "U-uh fuck I'm sorry man!" Jason wished his voice was more threatening.

"Answer the question: what the fuck do you want?" The bear came closer, ready to shove Jason. "Get the fuck outta my way!"

Jason felt his frail body smash into the wall, his back taking the full brace of the impact as his vision started to blur. He saw the big feet of the man step next to him before he blacked out.

...

...

In a snap, Jason felt his torso lurch up as he came back into consciousness. But something felt off. Jason looked down.

"WHAT THE FUCK!? Wh-why are my hands... BLUE?" Jason looked at his palms incredulously before glancing further down at his physical body slumped beneathe him. His blue ghostly form sticking out from the pelvis-up.

In the corner of his eye, Jason saw the big bear standing around. "Fuck. Didn't realize he'd go flying." He heard the man say.

Jason got up with virtually no pain, seeing his ghostly ectoplasm oozing off his limbs as he leaves his physical form. He looked up at the big man, anger seething through his ephemeral form.

"Oh you're gonna fucking pay for that man! I don't care how big you are!" Jason yelled. The big man, completely unaware of Jason, just picked at his nose before kneeling down to check on his victim's pulse.

"Kid's still got a heart beat. He'll be fine." For a split second Jason felt some compassion come from the bear, which all shattered as he saw him spit at his corpse. "Fucking stalker. Better not be here when by the time I'm done showering."

Jason pounced at the man, attempting to claw at his big shoulders. The bear fell forward onto all fours before looking around in a panic. "What the fuck was that!?" he yelled into the empty locker room.

Looking down at the beefy bear with his ass up in the air, Jason had an idea. "If I'm a ghost, maybe I can..." Jason connected the dots in his head before acting out his plan.

The big man started to get up before he felt his body get pinned down by something that felt like a foot. "OooFFF" he groaned as the air left his lungs.

Jason had to work fast. He reached down and carefully attempted to grab the man's waistband. He felt a tactile sensation and grinned before pulling it down to expose the man's bulbous cheeks.

"AAHHH wh-what's going ON!?" the bear whimpered as he felt a cool air skim his cheeks.

Jason eyed as the sweaty, hairy, musky mounds jiggled before slowing to a stop. He'd never been this close to such a big *ss before, and it was causing Jason to get a huge ghost b*ner.

The bear started to panic as he felt a slimy, cold finger run down his tight crack. "A-ah f-fuck!" he moaned as the finger playfully pushed in and out.

Jason grabbed both of the bear's *ss cheeks and ripped them apart, exposing his surprisingly loose *sshole. He glanced down at the pulsating hole, questioning for a second if he was really going through with this.

"Hope that Casper movie wasn't bullshit! Coming through!!"

The bear winced as he felt something larger than a d*ck shove itself into his *sshole. "Ho-Holy SHITTT!!!!"

Jason gripped onto the bear's cheeks as he used them to push into the man's tight hole. Suddenly there was a "POP" and he realized he was in. "Fuck yes! Here I come big guy!!!" Jason yelled happily.

The bear looked around in a panic as he heard a familiar voice echo in his mind. His mind quickly turned to his physical sensations, though, as he felt slimey shoulder squeeze in. "OOOOF!" he groaned.

With a giddy smile on his face, Jason tunneled through the dark expanses of the bear's body. His arms and tight lean waist slipped in as the bear groaned uncontrollably.

The big guy mustered all his strength to turn his head, only to see blue lean legs and feet protruding out of his asshole, inching their way deeper and deeper in. "F-f-fucking HELL!" was all he could yell as the crammed sensations worked their way up his torso.

Jason, torso-up inhabiting the bear's body, reached down to pull his small dick through the asshole. Suddenly, he felt the rest of his legs slurp themselves in too.

The bear felt himself getting filled up to the brim as another being literally shoved himself into all the crevices of his fat body. His yells reaching it's loudest as he felt the blue ectoplasmic feet slide in with a "PLOP!"

The bear reached back and pawed at his loose asshole, scooping up the ectoplasm that was left behind. He tried to get up but lost his balance as he felt the ghost inside of him lurch forward.

"Here comes the fun part fatty!" Jason yelled with a mocking chatter. Jason wasted no time shoving his limbs into the man, pressing his arms and legs into his vessel's like gloves and boots.

The beefy bear, finally having gotten up, felt his body start to dance around beyond his will. His right arm flailed as his left hand tried to stop it before betraying him and slapping him on the face. "Fu-fuck! GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME" he yelled at his belly wiggled uncontrollably.

Jason shoved his hard c*ck into the bear's girthy one, filling it up like a sheathe. His lined up his ghostly balls with his host's tennis-ball sized one, feeling them expand with a "POP" "POP".

The bear, pounding at his belly to get the invader out, suddenly lost control of his arms and hands as they reached down to stroke his huge 8in d*ck and finger his fat ass. He heard a laugh followed by a "BOOM" as his butt and legs filled up with ectoplasm.

With the bear's hands and feet under his control Jason realized there was only one step left.

"Puh-puh-please m-man! G-get out of- *gurgle*" The bear's neck started to bulge as Jason hurriedly squeezed into his host's head. The bear gasped for air as he gagged on ectoplasm, the pressure in his brain close to popping before-.

...

Jason opened his eyes and took a deep breath, his belly filling up and stretching out the tank top he was now wearing. "Oooh fuck yeah" he cooed, using the bear's sexy voice for the first time. He looked down and immediately reached for his beefy pecs, massaging his new nipples with his host's stubby fingers. They were sensitive, hard-wired to his new girthy c*ck as he felt his sweaty jock stretching to the limit. He pulled his waistband back up and felt the airy fabric wrap around his fat ass, immediately nesting between his cheeks.

"Can't believe it fucking WORKED. Hell YEAH BABY! I'M A FUCKING BEAR!" Jason danced around a bit, waving his new jiggly belly around in the air before he heard the door to the locker room open.

Jason watched as one of the bodybuilders stumbled in, so distressed from the workout that he didn't even notice Jason's lean body slumped against the wall. He tiredly glanced at Jason, who was at eye-level with him, and muttered a "How's it going Roy" before walking deeper into the locker room.

Jason's heart skipped a beat, but then calmed down as he realized that no one can tell. He walked up to the mirror and grinned at his reflection as he crossed his arms. He was fucking HUGE.

Jason felt sweat drip down from his forehead, chest, and pits. He carefully lifted his new beefy arms and immediately got hit by a wave of ripe musk. "Fuuuuuck. I smell so... GOOD" he moaned, using Roy's vocal chords. "Not gonna wash these pits" he chuckled.

In the corner of his eye, Jason glanced at his old slumped body. "Damn. I'm so fucking tiny... No wonder I flew into the wall" he reflected. Jason daydreamed for a second, then realized he could live out a huge k*nky fantasy of his. He picked up his old body with ease and took him to a secluded part of the locker room.

Jason started to eagerly rip off his old body's clothes, pulling down his pants and revealing his musky thin yellow briefs. He slipped them off and took the briefs up to his nose, taking a deep inhale of his old musk.

With a smirk, Jason dropped his host's Size XXL gym shorts and jockstrap, revealing his girthy hairy cock. He then started to slip on the Size S yellow briefs up his thick tree trunk legs, making sure the fabric didn't rip. Jason grinned as he felt the tiny briefs get eaten by his new gigantic asscheeks. He grabbed both of his cheeks with his meaty paws and ripped them open, making sure the fabric would touch his new musky *sshole like a thong.

"Ohhhh fuuuck yeah!" he groaned, as he sealed the entrance that he came in from. His d*ck was leaking profusely, more so than his old one did.

Jason pulled his host's shorts up. He grinned at the fat *ss in the mirror before he felt his new phone vibrate. "That who I think it is?"

He unlocked his phone and saw "Carson" had texted him.

Carson: "Hey handsome. What are you up to tonight?"

Jason couldn't help but chuckle, his big belly jiggling with every heave. He pawed at the keyboard with a huge grin.

Roy: "Hey baby. Nothing much. You wanna get k*nky tonight?"

Jason shoved Roy's phone into his pocket before running out of the locker room in a hurry, his big a*s jiggling with every step. His phone vibrated a ton, but Jason knew he needed to do something before he replied.

Later that night...

Jason stripped naked and laid in bed. He opened up his camera and saw the handsome grizzly face of the man he possessed. "Don't know how much time I have in you man but I'm gonna take advantage of it. Gonna get you real k*nky. Make you say shit you'd never say. And I bet Carson would do anything to fuck your musky fat*ss." Jason reached down to finger Roy's *sshole before giving his finger a lick.

"Haha. Alright alright enough fun. Got a video to send to a lucky guy."

Jason started to record.

FIN

[enkvyu]

HIII I HEARD UR TAKING REQUESTS!!! (I think if not jus ignore this) bf headcanons with geto plzzzz :( hes just a silly lil guy (I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOD) anwzzz have a gud day :33

getou as your bf headcannons

thanks for the request anon, i hope you have a good day too !! btw ure so real he is just a lil guy ☹️ he isn’t defined by his actions (what murder?) he’s just a babygirl ! i wrote this for teen getou but then i thought might as well do a few thoughts on adult getou. i hope this is okay!

teen getou

you confessed first and getou laughed it off, thinking you just wanted to copy his homework. but when he saw you slowly turn red, he realised that this was the real deal. super awkward confession and you tease him about it all the time, professing your love to him every time you need something from him just so he can recall the embarrassment he caused on that day

in the beginning of your relationship, he really wanted you to wear his clothes and have it be a causal thing. but because he's nervous, and because shoko and gojo are bad influences, he decides the only way for you to comfortably ask for his shirts and jumpers was to wear yours first. gojo assures him you'll find it funny and realise that boundaries such as "yours" and "mine" will be blurred this point forward. taking his friends' advice, getou shimmies into your jujutsu uniform and knocks on your dorm door, posing to make you laugh. it's only when he sees the disbelief on your face that he regains his senses

the type to be looking at you no matter what he’s doing. you’re telling him about your day and he’s drinking water? he’s looking at you over the rim of the glass. you get called in class to answer a question you weren't paying attention to? getou is already looking at you, mouthing the (incorrect) answer. you’re comparing hand sizes? look up and you’ll find him looking at you instead of your interlocked fingers. it’s natural that he’s the first to notice when things are wrong, and the first to tease you

the type to smile when he gets angry and make a face that says "what (kind of nonsense) are you talking about?" he deflects a lot in arguments and never yells, but his low voice is honestly scarier

no sense of personal space whatsoever (blame gojo) so if you want to make a move on him, you have to be very direct. it's a double-edged sword because he'll be teaching you boxing and cover your hand with his to reposition your posture, and only you will think something of it. but at the same time, you can simply wrap your arms around his neck, lean in, and he'll break out in a cold sweat and a blush. he's simple in that way

a girl's kind of guy. he'll hand you a cushion or a plushie if you sit down wearing a skirt or a dress and if there isn't any, he'll wordlessly take off his jacket and hand it to you. always has a spare hairband around his wrist but he doesn't tell you that he also uses it to close off open chip bags when he can't finish them in one sitting. sometimes you do wonder why it smells like salt and vinegar

will take something of yours just so you can ask him for help. if it's raining, he'll take your umbrella so the two of you can walk home under his. of course, he'll be the one walking on the outer edge of the path

getou's a gym rat. wakes up chugs a protein shake (doesn't use a blender, shaking it super hard is enough). usually focuses on arms and abdomen and loves to show off whether it's through boxing or doing push ups with you on his back. objectively, he's really fit but there's something about him walking around his dorm shirtless just to catch a glimpse of himself being Buff that's annoying

thinks he can charm his way out of any situation (he can). he was praised a lot as a kid for being pretty and kind which led him to slipping out of situations he didn't want to be in just by smiling. he thinks the same thing can work on you (usually it does)

late night missions means sleep deprivation for class the next morning, and you carry the bulk of it after three consecutive missions. the next morning, even yaga winces at the heavy bags under your eyes. of course, it’s your boyfriend who’s by your side first. he does most of the talking that day and doesn't say anything when you doze off mid-sentence. he even angles his body so your head can comfortably rest on his shoulder and doesn’t say (much) anything when he sees you drooling. you notice that throughout the day, his hand is always hovering your back

extra — adult getou:

has the habit of talking to you like you're a stray kitten sometimes. there's a benevolent smile on his face and his words are soft, coaxing you out gently as if you were buzzing to flee. it's something he developed after raising nanako and mimiko, but it works just as well on you, too

he still does the same "what the fuck?" smile when he gets angry, but there's a sinister edge to it now, like he's waiting to see how far you can push it before he does something about it

an absolutely terrible chef. perhaps it's because his tastebuds has been destroyed by his technique and cigarettes, but everything he makes is either too salty, too bland, too spicy or everything in between. his culinary skills are fine, and his presentation is frankly award winning but take one bite and you're rushed to the hospital. usually, the two of you just go out for dinner or order uber eats

likes the sensation of someone playing with his hair. whether it's getting you to dry his hair after he gets out of the shower, or allowing himself to be a mannequin to your sudden desire at being a hair stylist, he's satisfied

still likes walking around shirtless or in a shirt that is half open (just take it off at that point) but at least this time, you also get a view. his confidence in his body has skyrocketed, and now it's one of the main thing he uses to get a reaction out of you. if you call him out for it, he'll just :3 "what do you mean?"

[jd07201990]

So… Does anyone know how many bouquets of roses, or how many boxes of chocolates it’ll take to survive my new Wife’s wrath, when she see’s her adorable, creative, intelligent boy… after I accidentally shipped him off to the equivalent of Football Boot-camp, so we could have our honeymoon alone in Cancun. Honestly! We were all going over the options, the two last resorts being we don’t go on our honeymoon, or Jason would have to stay at his grandpa’s house in the middle of nowhere a few states away. Clearly, we were desperate, so when I found the pamphlets for what looked like a regular old summer camp out in the woods, with a lake, and a whole slew of other activities, I jumped on it, especially since the price for the entire summer was $2100 bucks! Where I really screwed up, was not reading the pamphlet I was filling out, which was absolutely not the super happy fun time in the woods experience… It was ROTC for Football Jocks. I learned this only when I drove out to pick him up, 3 months later, and well… you can see what trudged up to me from across the parking lot, huge battered old sneakers pounding the pavement as he absentmindedly gnawed on a protein bar in his meaty, calloused fist, while his other hand absentmindedly adjusted his shorts. Just like all the other bulked up brutes marching off to their dads and coaches, his chest was bare, and bouncing with every step. When he’d crossed the distance, he grinned this dim, dopey grin, and grunted, “Thanks for pickin’ me up Dude. Can we stop by Wendy’s? I’m fuckin’ starving!” He punctuated this by stuffing the last of the protein bar in his mouth and yanking the door to my car open, the fiberglass handle cracked in his hand. He looked at the two halves, chuckled with that deep, rumbling Jock tone, and got in, dumping the pieces on the seat next to him. It didn’t take long for the car to fill the distinct funk of athletic prowess, especially when he kicked off his size 14’s and put his feet up on the dash. I nearly gagged, and despite the heat outside, rolled down the windows to air out. As we pulled into the driveway, my wife was on the lawn, waiting with a little bag, excited to see her boy again. When the sweaty ape of a jock got out lumbered up to her, wrapping his beefy arms around her, she looked terrified… for a second… then her eyes narrowed on me. When Jason finally let go of her, he gave her that same, blank, dopey grin, all the intelligence gone from his big wide eyes, and held his fist out… she looked at it incredulously, and he chuckled, “You’re supposed to bump it, Ma… with your fist” Well, the last 6 months have been tough, but Jason, or, “Jay” as he reminds us often, has absolutely blossomed at school. Although his grades could be better. The shock of his summer “glo-up” or as his oafish, grunting new friends like to tease, “blow-up” hit a few of the teachers harder than others. Although the Coach of the football team had nearly offered me his ’69 Camero to have Jason on the team after seeing him plow through reps in the football team’s gym.  I said it was tough, because our house is essentially a second Locker Room for Jay and his small army of sweating, smelly behemoths. There is a never-ending pile of laundry from countless practices, the gym, and just hanging out with his friends. My wife has somewhat gotten used to her little boy calling her, “Bro” accidentally… every other day… and despite the change, he’s still her boy, there’s just, a good bit more of him to love. I will say, he’s a great kid, kind of dumb, a bit crass, and stinks like a gym bag more often than not, but when you dig a bit deeper into those dim, wide eyes, there’s still that adorable boy, underneath a pile of muscle.

[atom-writings]

hetalia axis & allies (+ canada) xmas headcanons

1.6k words ~ gender neutral headcanons

tw: uhhh christmas obviously. mention of religion and underwear?? uh... i think that's it

a/n: this is my first christmas as a jewish convert so that's been weird. anyway I just wanted something quick, so its mostly a list of gift ideas (:

America

Alfred is SUCH a huge Christmas fan. I mean, canonically he dresses up as Santa, so he goes all out for the entire month of December. He's been working on a huge holiday home display for decades, and it shows.

He plays Santa at his local mall during the weeks leading up to Christmas; and on the night of, he hands out hot cocoa outside his house. It's fun, but it also means he's a little distracted when it comes to you.

What he would get you: Posters of your favourite movies, super comfy pyjamas, expensive figures of characters you like, candy you like but never get for yourself, model planes or Legos for you two to build together, novelty pens, a stupid cowboy costume so you can match <3, those handmade coupons because he 1. Loves you and 2. Forgot about Christmas until yesterday

What he would want: Any video games, Funko Pops, vinyls of music he likes, those big packs of shirts (he is constantly running out of shirts because he rips or irreparably stains them,) Marvel comics, anything with an eagle on it, those mini wacky waving inflatable tube men things, bulk pens and pencils because he also breaks those constantly-

England

Arthur is not big into Christmas and never has been. He'll celebrate with you, but he's not going out when it comes to any aspect. If anything, he finds it a little exhausting getting gifts for everyone

But, he does adore walking around and looking at all the lights. He'll do that a couple times with you in December.

What he would get you: Any novel you’ve mentioned even once, tickets to a concert both of you will enjoy, classy jackets that fit you perfectly, cute keychains, fancy art supplies, fragrances that remind him of you, bags/purses that fit your style, CDs

What he would want: Sewing supplies (thread, new needles, new fabric scissors,) framed photos of the two of you, Doctor Who merch, foreign tea, a book on how to take care of your eyebrows properly (he will not learn otherwise,) slippers, those sarcastic magnets that all millennial women have at least one of, any ridiculous piece of merch with the union jack on it

France

Francis has very mixed feelings about Christmas. On one hand, he hates how consumerist it has become, but on the other hand, nothing makes him happier than seeing the joy the season brings to others.

Plus, he does enjoy giving and receiving presents. The music too? Wonderful. As long as you don't get too stressed out, the holiday should be perfect.

What he would get you: Tons of clothes; stuff that's already your style, and completely new stuff, room decorations (NOT posters,) a reservation at a nice restaurant, bracelets that he made for you, makeup (if you like that kind of thing,) candles that smell like his cologne, CHEESE

What he would want: Fancy fabric, any clothes (he doesn’t care what they are as long as you think they’d look good on him…) paintings or photography, literally ANYTHING creative you’ve made, hair ties (he loses at least 5 a day,) bird stuffed animals, (Basically anything! Francis is not picky)

China

Christmas is a new occurrence for Yao, and he isn't the biggest fan. He'll buy you stuff for it, but he would do that normally. The lights and the music aren't anything special to him either. Basically, he won't celebrate unless you want to.

What he would get you: Elaborate, very expensive jewellery, huge stuff like a car, Chinese cookbooks, traditional clothes that he made specifically to represent you (: luxury handbags (that he got at SUCH a good discount,) tons of weird off-brand merch of your favourite show, probably a nice meal too!

What he would want: Yao is hard to buy for. Soft robes, stuff to help with back pain, face masks, Hello Kitty keychains… reading glasses maybe?

Russia

Although he isn't as excited about Christmas as he is about the New Year, he still loves the holiday. It's a nice excuse to see family, and everyone is just so happy around the season! He's especially excited to celebrate it with you.

He's not the best at giving gifts, but he could be worse. Regardless of whether you like all of it, you're gonna get a lot of stuff.

(Also, he plays Santa for the kids sometimes. It's so cute-)

What he would get you: Random knick-knacks he probably found at a local market, knitted hats and gloves in your favourite colour, a scarf to match his, tickets to go somewhere warm on vacation, stuffed animals! books that made him think of you (usually philosophical or religious novels,) pretty rocks (:

What he would want: SUNFLOWERS! (This works for every occasion,) baked goods, clothes that aren’t 250 years old- new doilies and paintings to decorate his house, pictures of yourself, friendship bracelets, stuffed animals, if you can make a scarf somehow, DO THAT

North Italy

Feliciano cares about Christmas in a more religious way, but he's never mad about getting presents. So, he'll probably spend most of the day in church, but he still did put a lot of effort into getting you stuff you love.

What he would get you: Pajamas & bath robes, shitty romance novels that he wants you to read, weird hand-made knick-knacks, makeup, strange mugs that he found at a thrift store, a painting of you (: probably a pair of his boxers-

What he would want: New paint brushes, novelty pasta shapes, fancy jackets, any art that you’ve made (regardless of quality,) cat stuffed animals, The Ability To Get A Grip, skincare products, shiny garbage (For art purposes, duh,) those handmade coupon things

Germany

Ludwig does not enjoy Christmas particularly. He's terrible at giving gifts but he wants to so desperately that he spends all of winter stressing out about it. Yes, he's excited to see your reaction to his gifts, but at what cost?!

Although he does still like all the decorations at least. Maybe he just likes re-decorating though.

What he would get you: Puzzles you can complete together, soft sweaters, practical stuff you need (like book bags, lens cloths, that kind of thing,) stationery, reservations for private tours at museums you would find interesting, a subscription to whatever silly service you want (:

What he would want: Books about city planning, nerdy card games, a fun lanyard, a new coffee machine, those aroma-therapy diffuser things, household tools like vacuums and stuff (Get him an air fryer. He’s going to be fascinated.) stress balls, pens (He is boring.)

Japan

Kiku really has no particular feelings towards Christmas. If you weren't there, the most he would do was put up a mini tree. He's stressed out by both giving and receiving presents and is only willing to do that kind of thing if you want to.

What he would get you: Electronics, merch of your favourite Sanrio character, books that he thinks you’ll like, stickers, a bento box, comfy sweatpants, cute hairpins, plushies from your favourite media, a bunch of pillows, some obscure Japanese snacks too!

What he would want: Miku figures, posters, video games, manga, general nerdy stuff, history novels (he likes to correct them,) blackout curtains, cute face masks, a Polaroid camera, a guide on socialization (Seriously.) a knit scarf, if you can knit (:

South Italy

Romano desperately wants to care about Jesus more than getting gifts. He's a devout catholic, g*ddamnit! But... he does just really love eating baked goods and getting gifts more than anything. Getting together with family, the music, the lights, he just ADORES the holiday.

What he would get you: Blankets and pillows, your favourite snacks, clothes that are a little more revealing- cruise tickets (if going on wouldn’t be hell for you,) a journal where he wrote down all of the things he loves about you (completely honestly,) religious items, fancy perfumes

What he would want: Paintings from local artists, post-its (so he can finally remember SOMETHING,) anything with the Italian flag on it, stupid bumper stickers, pictures of the other nations that you’ve written insults on, fancy patterned scarves and fabric

Prussia

Like Alfred, Gilbert loves Christmas in a very childish way. He embraces that side of himself during the holidays and he'd love it if you joined him in that. He constantly insists on going out to see the lights, and he just can't get enough of Christmas movies. Even the bad ones (He's a Hallmark girlie.)

What he would get you: A vintage music box, hair dye, DVDs of your favourite movies (just to have,) stationery, random snacks he picked up from a gas station an hour ago, weirdly sentimental jewellery? Vintage journals, pictures of himself

What he would want: Coupons (???) goofy temporary tattoos, metal CDs, tea (he’s weirdly embarrassed about liking tea and doesn’t buy it for himself?) vintage maps that he can frame and hang up, probably like, WD40? DC comics, novelty trophies, Pokemon cards, video games

Canada

More than anything, Matthew loves winter. So, therefore, he loves Christmas! Seeing you smile when you open your gifts, he looks forward to it all season. It seems like the only time of year when everyone else is either as miserable or as happy as he is, so it's his favourite holiday.

Cuddling up in front of the fireplace with hot cocoa, watching some old Christmas movie, its all he wants.

What he would get you: Comfy hoodies, comfy slippers too, hot cocoa packs, big stuff like a new PC or fridge or smth- decorations for your room, face masks, fidget toys, novelty Canadian keychains, figures of your favourite characters, festive sweets (like candy-canes and stuff.)

What he would want: Anything with a maple leaf (yes, he wants MORE of that,) boring stuff like socks, wood-working tools or like a new snow shovel, fairy lights, DVDs (because he still uses them? Why.) a new phone case, gift cards (HES BORING,) pre-packaged crafts, lotion and cologne that smells like pine

merry christmas if you celebrate! this'll probably be the last full thing I post until 2024, so thanks to all you readers for sticking around this year (: you have no idea how much it means to me. i love yall. and to all a good night or whatever santa said

[wwwquickpakinccom]

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[mollywog]

Roommate

Fake Fic Ask Game by @vasilissadragomir

🐑 (fake set of fic tags): modern au roommates, mutual pining, jealous!katniss, hot chocolate, meddling!Prim, misunderstandings

She’s smiling down at her phone when Prim snaps her fingers in front of the screen, “Are you even listening?”

“Oh! Yeah! Sorry,” Katniss says, placing her phone face down on the table.

“Who are you talking to anyways?” Her sister eyes the phone with curiosity and Katniss covers it with her hand lest Prim resort to snooping, “are you seeing someone?! You’re giddy, it’s weird”

“God no,” she has no desire for that, “Peeta’s doing a grocery run and asked about snacks.” They were going to watch Jurassic Park tonight and he’d sent her a picture of a bag of frozen Dino nuggets.

“Sounds cozy. What does Nutmeg think about her boyfriend Netflix-and-chill-ing with his super hot roommate?”

Katniss rolls her eyes, “Clove’s not in the picture anymore.” She doesn’t get it. Peeta’s the best, but his taste in women is the worst. She’d taken to giving them petty nicknames rather than learning their real ones. The latest had been a real cloven hoofed bitch.

“Oh,” Prim perks up, “So, are you gonna make a move?”

God, not her too! Maybe she’s been talking to Finnick. He keeps insisting she’s in love with Peeta. She’s not and the accusation is annoying, “No,” She says, tone firm, “Peeta and I are friends. Just friends.”

“Hmm” her sister sounds unconvinced.

“Hmm what?”

“I think you like him.”

“Of course I like him, he’s my friend.”

“Come on Katniss. You talk about him constantly, you spend all your spare time together, and you’ve hated every girl he’s ever given a second look.”

“Yeah, because they all sucked.”

“- his dick, and you were jealous.” Prim adds.

Katniss bulks, “don’t talk like that. Who raised you?”

“We all know who raised me. Don’t try to duck the topic! So, you’d be fine with him dating someone you approve of?”

Katniss shrugs, “of course,” it’s a trick question, because she can’t imagine anyone good enough for him.

“What about me?” Prim says, as if following her line of thought, “I must meet your standards. What if I started dating Peeta? You wouldn’t have a problem with that?”

“Didn’t know you were interested.” Why does her voice sound so high all of the sudden?

“I don’t know; maybe it’s all your glowing about how great he is. Answer the question.”

“I mean it would be weird, because you're my sister,” she says haltingly, “but obviously I think you’re amazing,” she briefly imagines Peeta leading Prim to his bedroom, and wants to vomit.

“So you’d be completely fine if I asked him out?” Prim eggs.

Her discomfort is overcome by a flare of annoyance at the challenge. “Want me to put in a good word for you?” She snarks.

“Nah.” Katniss exhales, feeling a little lighter. Maybe this will finally put the whole thing to rest, but then her sister continues with a smirk, “I’m a big girl, I don’t need your help.”

Part 2 | Part 3 or Ao3

[seat-safety-switch]

Things have gotten so bad in North American life that sea shanties have become popular again. That’s right, the music sung by folks dying of scurvy in a cantankerous wooden bathtub about to plunge to the bottom of the ocean. The reason why is pretty simple. Everyone wants to have cool adventures, and make friends, and not be at a fucking desk. I ask: have you considered bus collecting?

A bus is basically the same thing as a tall sailing ship. You’ve got the large, unwieldy bulk, the single pilot, and the group of people vomiting in the back, doing every drug in sight, and wondering if a seagull tastes good. The only difference is that a used long-distance hauling bus is cheap; less than the cost of your average shitbox sedan. And look at what you get with it! Lots of big tires, lots of seats, a very large engine full of things to fiddle with, an extremely long runs of wiring for the packrats to eat. Is it broken? Even better! You can live in it, far more comfortably than your average decrepit Plymouth Fury or half-in-the-bag Asuna Sunfire.

Sure, there are downsides to bus ownership. For one thing, everyone you know is going to want you to give them a lift along with 60 of their closest friends. You won’t be able to merge onto the highway very quickly, or find parking downtown. The fascists in law enforcement will often want you to have ridiculous things like “an inspection,” “working lights,” or “a drivers’ license,” and fixate on it because you’re big, shiny, and can’t pull away from their cruisers very quickly even if you are a halfway decent driver. Small problems compared to the ability to wear a dorky bus-driver hat and open and close the passenger entry door with that cool lever thing.

All this is to say that you should join me down at the industrial equipment auction this weekend coming up. There’s a lot of low-mileage prison buses hitting the block, and I think if we work the crowd together, we can really convince the other bidders that there was a grisly murder in one of them. While they’re busy bidding up that one, we can scoop up the others super cheap, or at least cheaper than a seaworthy boat made out of fucking trees.

[phykoha]

i went to winco a couple days ago (which is like. a super cheap bulk grocery store) and they had these bins full of spices and stuff so now I just have a bag of citric acid.

What will I use it for? Coating my dollar store grandma strawberry candies, of course.

[no-stupid-questions-official]

you know at in like church they have this thing (which i dont remember the word for atm) where you get to take a sip of wine and get a piece of super thin wafer? you know the blood and body pf christ thingy.

can one just buy those thin wafer-thingies in bulk or is it sold for religious practices only?

reason for my question is: im… i rly like them and just wanna eat a whole bag of it like a snack, hopefully jesus wont mind

-