#sunshine starlight sweetheart brightside

[romanarose]

RomanaVerse birthday bash

Hi friends!!!

My birthday is this upcoming weekend, and o wanna party with my pals!

I do not have it in me to do a whole lot seeing as I still have several obligations I gotta catch up on and I still have not finished everything for my 2000 followers celebration ha ha

So I decided to do stuff a little bit easier, but I hope we’ll still be fun!

The main event is what I call RomanaVerse What If…?

It’s simple! Got a story of mine, whether a series a one shot or a two-parter or whatever and you wonder how things might have been different if there was a change?

Send it in!

Wonder, sunshine starlight sweetheart, bright side would have gone if Sam met Mark first? Or how the wrong way would have gone if little one hadnt gotten pregnant?

I’m going stories are also open to questions like rooms on fire, puppy, girl, guard, dog, or about a girl

Anything I’ve written is open, for work or not safe for work, dark or not all that

Other fun stuff to send into my ask box…..

Fuck Marry kiss

Would you rather

Ship me! (Send in sone things you like and like to do and all ship you with any of the characters I write for. If I know you or you are a regular interactor I might ship you with a universe specific version, so if you e read several universes, send it in too!

Thank you all so much for all the fun times, the kind words, and especially the encouragement this last year. Everyone who was there for me with what happened in April, as well as my own personal issues the last year that I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to make it out alive, I love y’all more than you could ever know. every, every like every comment and every kind ask means so much to me, more than you could ever know

Series on either here or listed below, but anything on my blog is up for grabs, including one shots. that would be fun for a what if are listed below, but anything on my blog is up for grabs, including one shots.

Sunshine starlight sweetheart, Brightside

Seattle

Leather and lace

Take your time

For the longest time

The wrong way

Puppy girl

Guard dog

Awakening

boys of summer

About a girl

Rooms on fire

If you wanna be wild (I will consult with @my-secret-shame )

And more!

Consider reblogging if you’d like!

[romana-after-dark]

the way i will fist fight anyone being a dick about your fics???? like i understand if dark fics make people uncomfortable but just don’t read them??😭you’re writing is seriously amazing and i hope you know that!!!🩷

thank yooooouuu!!!

I made a side blog specifically so I wouldn't jumpscare my readers on my main blog, since that blog built a rep for fics with nothing explicit consent (largely though Awakening series) and writing about rape recovery (Like in Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside) and I thought it would be disingenuous to start writing non con after all that, so I made a side blog specifically to be safe lol

Than you for your kind words, I do love my writing and I think I have a skill for it, it's nice to see this platform enjoys my work!

[wand-erer5]

Hiiiii!!!! I see you liking your way through Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside and I just wanted to say welcome! It’s a wild wild to be sure but I’m so proud of it and I just hope your enjoying it!

Omg hi!!! Yes I literally stumbled across and I’ve been dying for some more fanfic on Oscar Isaac characters and the moon boys are my favorite! Especially as someone who can relate to some of the issues the main character goes through, it’s so amazing! 🤎🤎🤎

[ao3feed-moonknight]

Jake Am I Gay?

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/a6wTzDW by romana_rose Takes Place after my series Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside, my first moon knight series from like 2 years ago. A month or so after Teresa's wedding, when Sam is still figuring herself out but with so much support, Sam asks Jake is he thinks she's bisexual. Jake has a surprise too. Words: 541, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Moon Knight (TV 2022) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Jake Lockley Relationships: Jake Lockley & Reader Additional Tags: platonic jake lockley, bisexual oc, Bisexual Jake Lockley, Aromantic Jake Lockley read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/a6wTzDW

[romanarose]

Me at every family function

[cricket-reader]

Cricket-reader’s Recommendation List

A03 | Wattpad | Main Masterlist | Inbox

Series

Your Hands Have Made Some Good Mistakes by @thenhewaswrongaboutme

Two Sides of the Same Coin by @anonymityisfunwriter

Drifting by @real-jane

Anachronism by @Itbarnes

The Colliding Tides of You by @missmonsters2

Ruins by @littlemissmarvelous

unconventional methods by @marvelouslizzie

Misunderstandings by @preciousbarnes

past lives by @helvonasche

Safe with me by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Seeing Red by @mypoisonedvine

Oneshots

worth it. by @creativebeang

Shrapnel by @real-jane

You Drew Stars Around My Scars by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

How’s Your Head? by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

Dear January by @writing-for-marvel

Redemption by @buckyalpine

Aching by @bbyboybucket

I Wanna Be Yours by @buckybabesonly

Warrior/Worrier by @delaber

the right partner by @bucky-bucket-barnes

From Your Smile to Your Soul by @orions-athenaeumficlibrary

Glutton for Punishment by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

Purgatory by @wkemeup

The Color of Blood by @theidiotwhowritesthings

Protect me by @theeleggymeggy

Daffodils by @gaysindistress

The Ultimatum by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

The Rain is Always Gonna Come if You’re Standing With Me by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

Love Hurts by @theeleggymeggy

Series

Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside by @romanarose

Tales Untold by @softlyspector

Series

Trust Fall by @darsynia

Stolen by @theidiotwhowritesthings

Oneshots

Even Heroes Can't Always be Strong by @larcenywrites

Falling in Love by @larcenywrites

bad reputation by @imperialstark

Series

Beauty and the Snake Prince by @ijuststareatstuffhereok89

Oneshots

all i wanted by @andsheloved

Oneshots

Gifted Kid Burnout by @farfromstrange

Safe and Sound by @devils-dares

Kissmas Day 8 by @promptthebear

Emotional Support Teddy Bear by @farfromstrange

Series

holding them gently (these confessions) by @privateanxieties

You’ve Been Gone For So Long, Baby by @bellaxgiornata

Wake Up by @sunflowersandsapphires

Series

Nothing but the Truth by @anika-ann

[jake-g-lockley]

I havnt drawn in about a decade. I primarily drew in 2012-13 when I found out I was moving in high school. Drew my friends in a similar style, something I call “munchkin” it’s super simple, not meant to be very much (hands and feet are blurred out, little facial structure. Just something to remember my friends.

I dabbled in a bit of doctor who fan art with this style just gif fun. Anyway, decided to draw out if no where. Semester has been long and difficult, needed some time to just,,,, exist away. Put on case 63 on Spotify and whipped this up while I listened:

It’s Sam and Steven Grant from Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside 😃

It was nice, took my mind off finals for a bit, got to listen to oscsr, his voice calms me even if the podcast is a little Covid triggering 😂

Anyway, enjoy my first drawing in 10 years

HAAHHA I SAW THIS FIRST AND I WAS A LIL CONFUSED ⬇️

BUT AHHHH SO SO SO CUTE, love their curls and eyes and how they are so much like how you described them in Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside

And yes omfg Oscar’s voice in that podcast is *chefs kisses* (although kinda wished it would be a British accent for the sake of my mental health)

Hope your sem gets a lil bit easier, I understand the struggle sometimes 🥹🥹

[romana-after-dark]

Tagged by @whatthefishh

I did receive fan art for leather and lace as well as sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, and mood boards abd calligraphy art for leather and lace, take your time and Seattle 🥰

@toxicanonymity @miraclesabound @melodygatesauthor

[romanarose]

Almost didn’t finish sunshine starlight sweetheart Brightside bc readership dropped so drastically

Had a couple readers enthusiastically pick it up and it gave me to push to put the last chapter out

I have seen more and more readers on Ao3 mentioning that they don’t read non finished fics.

And I am not here to tell you to read fics that aren’t completed yet, because it’s not my job.

But please, if you subscribe to this policy, be aware that this absolutely contributes to fics never being finished.

Because writing a fic, especially a multi-chaptered-one, takes a lot of time and effort and writers need positive feedback to make it worth it. So if they aren’t getting it, the chance of them dropping the project altogether is significantly higher.

[ao3feed-moonknight]

Jake Am I Gay?

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/6G1FT8C by romana_rose Takes Place after my series Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside, my first moon knight series from like 2 years ago. A month or so after Teresa's wedding, when Sam is still figuring herself out but with so much support, Sam asks Jake is he thinks she's bisexual. Jake has a surprise too. Words: 541, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Moon Knight (TV 2022) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Jake Lockley Relationships: Jake Lockley & Reader Additional Tags: platonic jake lockley, bisexual oc, Bisexual Jake Lockley, Aromantic Jake Lockley read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/6G1FT8C

[romanarose]

If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 6

Co-written with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction my beloved Fen, who I could not do this without. Thank you for being my emotional sounding board, my dear friend, my wonderful cowriter and helpful beta reader. I adore you.

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader x Santiago Garcia

Join my general tag list (Comment to join the tag list for this fic)

Triple Frontier Master List

Spotify Playlist

Series Masterlist : Read on AO3

Summary: Santi takes Candy out, and Javier gets jealous, but still he defends them both. Drama erupts, and Santi finds something out about himself.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it. Covert/emotional incest in the past, Santi's mommy issues, m/m dynamics, internalized bi/homophobia

For the record, this is a fic that takes place in the drug trade and deals with the darker side of humanity, so anything from Narco's and Triple Frontier is liable to be discussed or mentioned here. This is your warning. This is not a dark fic nor is it centered around dark themes like Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, but they are open to be talked about.

Reader has a nick name: Candy. Not her real name just what she goes by on her profession. Much of the inspo for this and for the title came from the Bruce Springsteen song “Candy’s room” so check it out for the vibes.

Reader speaks Spanish and has hair. I've decided Candy is just latina bc she's a sex worker in Colombia so this is what I'm doing. Reader also has curly hair and dark skin.

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS!: Santi's panicy trauma response. Santi's mommy issues in full swing. Javier is jealous, lots of arguments. Cumming untouched, titty sucking. We're in for it boys!

THE SMUT WAS 100% WRITTEN BY THE AMAZING @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction i knew i needed mommy kink and he was the one to go to. If you like subby men, Fen, my dearest cowritter, writes great fics esp with Steven Grant <3 What Fen said when they wrote it "Yoooooo, what am I writing Romana? Madness? I think so."

6.7 words (I'm so fucking sorry okay A LOT WAS HAPPENING)

A/N Since I am apparently an incomprehensible writer, please know that the smut scene in the last chapter was not a threesome, it's Javi fingering Candy and Candy flashing back to her giving Santi a reach around handjob. I wanted to compare and contrast the way the two pairs care for and pleasure each other. but it came across as a threesome :(

Support writers! Reblog and comment!

***************

Santiago didn’t know why he was so nervous.

“What we need is to get out into the actual field!” Javier exclaimed, setting his mug down loud enough to make Santi jump. “Sorry, Garcia.” He muttered, wiping a bit of spilled coffee with his sleeve.

Santiago rolled his shoulders, reaching back to rub his spine over the scar. The surgery saved his life, but damn did it hurt. “S’alright. Listen, I had an idea, but I don’t know if it’s going to be anything. It does get us out of the office next week.”

“I’ll take it, what do you have, Pope.”

Santi smiled. “Well, the nickname is fitting. It’s a rally for the beatification of Laura Montoya.”

A smile quirked up on Javier’s grumpy face. Unbuckling his belt after a second round of stress donuts, Javi kicked his legs up on his desk. “Of course you would know that.”

“My tia invited me.” He shoved Javi’s boots off, then wiped his hands on his pants. “We know what his family looks like now, maybe they will be there? It’s something.”

Javier agreed, it was something. Tracking Lorea had not gone as well as Escabar had. Not that that was a flawless mission itself, but at least it had traction. Martin Lorea was far less public.

The pair settled into an easy rhythm of planning the event. Santiago would have to avoid his tia’s, he thought. That may be hard, considering he had 4 and several cousins who will likely be attending the event. Colombia doesn’t have a canonized saint yet, and she was recognized as venerable so her potential beautification was a big deal for Colombia. Still, he couldn’t be recognized at the rally, his family would want to talk and talk and talk and ask why he didn’t have girlfriend and talk and ask who Javier was, and Tia Lupe would ask him if he had a ‘modern arrangement’ with Javier which would make Santi sick to his stomach with anxiety and- fuck he felt like the donut he stole from Javi was coming back up.

“Gotta go, be right back.”

“I’ll be timing you.” Javier kicked his legs back up on his desk and closed his eyes.

Over the toilet, Santi dry heaved, unsure if he was really going to puke or just felt like it. What the hell was it with Javier these days that made him so anxious? Things had been going well, their friendship repaired in the months since Javier caught him and Candy together. Other than Frankie, who would always be his number one, Javi was his best friend. He’d die for him the way he’d have died for Will, Frank or Ben… but there was something more. Since the day they met, Santiago wanted nothing more than Javier’s approval, he strived for it… maybe it was that he saw Javi as a father figure, almost 15 years older than him… that wasn’t right either. He couldn’t place it until earlier this week.

The DEA ball was coming up, Javier had asked Santi if he wanted to carpool since they both didn’t have dates and lived near-by… to which Santi said he actually had a date. She was a surprise. So was the fact Javier wanted to go.

The “Oh” that had fallen out of his mouth though Santiago off. It sounded disappointed. Santi couldn’t stand Javier disappointed in him. That’s when the thought happened. ‘I wish we could just go together’ Not arrive together. Go together. As a couple. His first thought was no, that’s illegal. His second thought was no, he’d go to hell. His third was him mami, god rest her soul, would roll over in her grave.

He shook the thoughts away, but ever since then he began noticing the way he stared at Javi, the way his body buzzed with any incidental touch… He had to shove it down.

Certainly, Javier was open-minded, but he would to spend as much time as he did with him if he was gay, right? He wouldn’t incite Santi over for futball games on the tv, he wouldn’t take him with him to get lunch… he wouldn’t even want to work with him. It would all be over.

That’s what made Santi sick.

That, and the anxiety over who his secret date was.

*

You didn’t know why you were so goddamn nervous.

You had to admit, you were very surprised when Santiago showed up for his regularly scheduled appointment, flowers in hand, asking you to join him at the ball.

“Santi… sweetie… I don’t know…”

His large eyes looked nervous. “It’s a job! I’ll pay you, I’m not expecting anything free! And I I know what you’re gonna say, I don’t care about Javi freaking out. Imean, if you care I don’t wanna pressure you of course! I’m not trying to come between you guys, but I doubt he’ll even show. He hates these things.”

“It’s not that I’m worried about…” You take the flowers, thanking him genuinely, and walking to your kitchen. Santiago anxiously paced your walls, trailing his hands over your posters. “Sweetheart, I know we have a good time, but I am a prostitute, you know this.”

“I swear, I don’t have any notions about us being in love… I just want you there.”

Placing the flowers in the vase, you turn to look at him. “I just… well…” You hesitate, unsure how to not freak the poor kid out. “oh my god, there's no polite way to say this, but, Javier is far from the only DEA agent I’ve slept with. Hell, I slept with the janitor once.”

“Mario’s a cool guy, I don’t blame you.”

“What I’m saying is,” She sighed out her words. “You’re a sweet young man, and I know you’re a lot younger than most of the guys there. I don’t want to cause you any trouble-”

“Candy-”

“And I know I’ll cause you trouble if I’m there. They are going to make fun of you for bringing a hooker to a ball.”

He shook his head. “I don’t care. There’s no one else I want there with me but you, and I don’t care what Javier says, or any of them for that matter.”

You smile softly at the young man. He was earnest, but although you believed he didn’t care about the other guys at the precinct, you didn’t believe him for one second about Javi. Santiago worshiped the ground Javier walked on, it was clear by the way he talked about his partner.

“If you really don’t care, then yes, I’d love to go.”

His youthful face lit up. “Really?!”

“Yes” You giggle. “It sounds like a great night.”

Santiago ran to you, making you squeal as he threw you over his shoulder. “I’m gonna make you cum so many fucking times on my face, Candy, you don’t even know.”

You had to admit you were a little nervous. A lot nervous. He said he didn't think Javier would be there, but you weren’t sure, and hadn’t had a chance to try and prod him for information. You’d asked around, and Javi had been spending several nights with Gabby. This was not unusual, he was known to bounce around women, but he always came back to you. Today, though, it made you jealous as all hell. Santiago made you nervous too.

You wanted to at least make a good impression for him, so you went out and bought a brand new evening gown for the occasion, something classy, showing the curves but not your tits. Your big Farrah Faucet curls that usually accompanied a night with Lorea and his men were dialed down more to a simple look, your make-up more natural that a night on the town with high rollers would see. Still you were beautiful and you knew it. Just less like a hooker.

*

Javier didn’t know why he was so fucking nervous. He never went to these stupid things, much preferring to spend a night undressed with his cock buried between a pretty woman’s legs than stuff himself into a suit that had only gotten tighter in recent years. But, Pope was gonna be there, he was gonna be dressed up in some overdone suite, Javi just knew it. And his stupid curls would be slicked back and inevitably a few would pop out and he’d spend the night trying to keep them back but they would want to be wild and he’d eventually mess with his hair too much and it’d be all every-which-way and, and, and…

So maybe he was late. So maybe he was a little tipsy. Maybe he had been taking pulls of a flask in the back of a taxi but there was coke baggie and a cum stain on the seat so was it really the worst the car had seen? He pulled up to the dance in his too-tight suit, stumbling out a bit, and attempted to find his way inside. He didn’t really want to see Santi dancing with a girl, but if he didn’t show, Santi would worry, and Javi didn’t like Santi worrying.

Javier hoped she was nice. A nice girl because he was a nice young man. Someone to take care of him in some ways, to let him care for her in others… Javi knew he could take care of Sant. He had when he was sick, hadn’t he? Therein lied the reason Javi was drunk. The burn of the liquor was to press down the feeling he couldn’t ignore sober. He wanted Santiago.

“Buenas noche, amigos. ¿Has visto Santiago?”

Javi asked as he stumbled on a few men from the DEA chattering in a corner

One of the men, Freddy, chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “Oh, you haven't seen him yet?”

This caused all the men to laugh, but Javier didn’t get the joke. He got the feeling whatever it was, they were laughing at Santi. Javier knew Santi hadn’t really clicked with the men. He was too straight laced, too honest… too good.

“The fuck does that mean?” Javier asked with an obvious bit of bite. Santiago was his to protect.

“Young Garcia came here with a whore on his arm.” Another man, Josue, with a patchy mustache he should just call it quits on attempting to grow replies. “Wonder if he knows what she is, or if he’s going to wake up to a nasty bill in the morning.”

The group laughs, and Javier feels panic rising inside him. No. No way. Santiago couldn’t possibly be that stupid, could he? He was the smartest man Javier knew. He’d never risk her like this… 

Freddy continued when he saw Javi’s confused look. “Yeah, Pena, thats what I thought too!” He said with a laugh that Javier knew was not the good natured ribbing he gave Santi. “You know Candy?”

“Uh, yeah, sounds familiar.” The room was spinning, lights and smoke and colors starting to blur.

“The whore on 7th that lets you play rough? Yeah, her.”

Javier snapped to attention again. “What did you just say?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either!” He turns to another man Javier doesn’t have it in him to focus on. “I bet Virgin Maria thinks he’s in love.”

Grabbing him by the shoulder, Javier turned Freddy to him. “What the fuck did you say about Garcia?”

“Relaje, Pena. You call him Pope, different name, same meaning.”

But it wasn’t. Santi was Javi’s friend, Javier cared about him. Javier called him Pope to his face and if he thought it upset him, Javi wouldn’t do it. Freddy and the guys were calling him Virgin Maria behind his back, intending on being assholes. It was meant to hurt, it wasn’t true (Santi wasn’t a virgin even before Candy), it was meant to make a mockery of his good nature, his religion, and his morals. The effeminate name was meant to mock his slight build and stature as well as his passive nature. None of them knew the Santiago that Javier knew. They didn’t know the intelligent, compassionate, incredibly capable young former special opes agent who had saved his life multiple times and had given more break throughs on Lorea than he could could.

“Tell me again what you said about Candy.”

*

Despite the fact everyone was staring at them, you had never seen Santi so happy, so relaxed. He had a few drinks and for his small body it probably left him feeling warm and content. You had opted to stay mostly sober, only drinking one glass of white wine from the open bar; Santiago’s generous and soft smile to the bartender only endeared him to you more. 

He was so much fun like this. You loved the time you spent with him in bed, that was fun too, but you’d also come to genuinely enjoy the moments where he wasn’t making you orgasm on his lips again and again. You genuinely cared when you asked him about his day, and had made a mental note of all the names he mentioned at the precinct that were causing him problems that you recognized. You weren’t sure how without outting him, but you’d figure out some way to fuck with them. One who was a massive dick to him, Freddy, was also a massive dick to you too.

Santi was indulging in a cupcake, telling a story of his friend Benny hitting on a woman only to realize her husband was standing next to her.

“It took me, his brother Will, Fish and Redfly to break the fight up. He still won’t go in that neighborhood anymore!” Santi giggles, taking a bite of the vanilla.

You laugh along; he’s an entertaining story teller. “Did he learn his lesson?”

“No! No! That’s the best part!” Santi said as he waved his hands excitedly. “He immediately, and I mean as soon as we cleaned the blood off his face, went and hit on another girl! And you wanna know the worst part?”

“It worked?”

“It work- how did you know that?”

“Women are easy, Santi.” Swaying to the music, you set his cupcake down. He has frosting on his upper lip, just under where his mustache sat.. “We love our men bloodied.” You pull him in close, eyeing his upper lip for the frosting, but he looks like he’s going for a kiss, and who are you to deny such a handsome man?

“Even when they lose?” He speaks, voice soft and sultry. Santi’s eye flick to your lips, his own push pillows parting to receive you.

“Especially when they lose.” You close the gap, taking his lips in yours and licking your tongue over his sugar-covered upper lip, brushing over his mustache. Sweet, just like him. Your sweet man. 

For a moment, you are lost in him, the sounds of the Jim Croce floating in the air.

'Cause every time I tried to tell you

The words just came out wrong

So I'll have to say I love you in a song’

*

CRASH!

Immediately, at the sound of excitement, Santiago is in front of you, guarding your body with his. He doesn’t move, thinking clearly and assessing the situation; looking for where the danger is at and where the best exit points may be. Keep Candy safe. Keep Candy safe. His only goal was her, keep her away from any narcos, terrorists, freedom fighters or drunken men that might be causing a stir. When the center of the commotion was coming from the north, Santiago took Candy’s hand and began to take her to one of the south exits, a lesser used one with less potential for a second assailant, when he felt her tug away.

“JAVI!” She shouts, running towards the danger in high heels, rust colored skirt fluttering just as her flowy sleeves did.

“CANDY!” Running after her, he catches up with ease without the hindrance of heels. Santi tries to stop her, not wanting her near the drunken brawl, but she is on a single minded mission. Javier was under Freddy, who Santiago did not like, and getting the shit beat out of him. If he had a second more, if his focus wasn’t so on Candy, he would have beat her too it… but Candy was quicker

Santiago watches in surprise as she lifts her skirt, pulling a knife out of her garter, getting behind Freddy and gripping his hair hard, knife to his throat.

Everything was a deadly calm, everyone saying so, so still to not disturb the crazy woman with a knife. When Santi looked to Javier to check if he was okay, he saw Javi looking up at her with his big brown eyes, clearly fucking enamored.

“Freddy, get off of him before I tell everyone the weird shit you’re into.”

The next few minuets were a blur. As soon as Freddy was off Javier and Candy’s knife was off him, he was a big man again and the group began arguing. Santiago couldn’t quite pick up what it was about except “KEEP HIS NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” From Javi.

They were all three escorted out by security; weapons weren’t allowed at the ball.

Outside the doors, a second argument erupted.

Candy tried to approach Javier. “Javi, baby, are you-” But as her hands reached for his swollen face, the older agent stepped back and turned his attention to his mentee. “Are you fucking stupid, Garcia?!”

Santi and Candy both are taken aback by this, but it’s Candy that speaks first. “Don’t talk to him like that!” 

Javier’s anger is turned back to her. “And you! You should know better than this! Than coming here!”

She rolls her eyes. “Javi. It’s literally a part of my job, I’m an escort.”

“FOR DRUG DEALERS!” Javier shouts, throwing his hands in the air and stumbling back. “Not for YOU!”

“So what, he’s too good for me to take out? Dirty whore like me belongs in dirty nightclubs and dirty crackhouses?”

“Oh for fucks sake THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

Instinctively, Santi places himself slightly in front of Candy. “Tone it down, Pena.”

His icy glare turns condescending as a short, drunk, sardonic laugh escapes him. “HA! Do you think you’re in love, Santiago? Do you think you’ll be the magical man that can ‘save her’? That’s not how this works! You aren’t supposed to be bringing prostitutes to government functions, you absolute IDIOT! And you’re especially not supposed to bring HER!”

“ENOUGH!” Candy shouts at him, eyes flashing in anger. “You don’t get to tell him what he can and can’t do, Javi! And you certainly do not have possession over me! I am not yours! Just because we fuck does not mean you own me, and you don’t get to decide who I sleep with. Like you said, I am a prostitute, one of SEVERAL you frequent, so I wouldn’t be getting too high and mighty about being careful when everyone knows Helena nearly died working for you! I am not yours!”

Javier scoffs. “Oh, and he is? You think he’s your little lover boy, someone to play pretend that you are having a normal relationship with? He’s a scared child, he’s terrified of intimacy and thinks a finger in the ass will send him to hell!”

“Javier, fucking stop it right now.”

“He can’t protect you! He can’t take care of you!”

“Oh, and you can?”

“YES!”

Javier’s shouted words hung in the air, dripping with anger and venom. Santi simply watches, watches them like a scared child watching his parents fight, wishing it would just fucking stop, but it won’t. Not between them. Javier doesn’t back down and Candy isn’t scared of him.

Then, Candy starts to laugh. It’s short little laughs at first but grows louder. “Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME JAVI!” She laughs once more before shaking her head, tugging a bit at her hair as she walks a short circle. Candy shook her head, suddenly calm. “Thunder only happens when it’s raining, players only love you when they’re playing.”

Javi blinked, his voice now noticeably slurred. “What the actual fuck was that.”

Santi stepped up, sliding an arm around Candy’s waist. If she said what she wanted to say, he wanted to guide her away from Javier before he could be more hurtful to her. “It’s from Fleetwood Mac, Javi. You’d know that if you cared enough about her to look into her interests.”

Candy turned to him then, surprised, her soft eyes looking towards him; the hint of a smile on her face.

Javier, however, looked bewildered. “Her interests?You. Are not. DATING HER!”

“I still care about her!” Santiago defended himself. “Just because I’m not a sad slut who can’t emotionally attach to anyone anymore doesn’t mean I treat her like she’s not a person!”

Javier looked like he was about to speak, then shook his head. “This is fucking insane. This is not a Hollywood movie, there is no happy ending here, FUCK YOU GUYS and FUCK THE GODDAMN PRESINCT”

With that, Javier stormed off, angrily mumbling about one thing or another and his broad form shrunk down the street.

It was then Santi felt her begin to shake. Thinking quick, he took off his sports coat and wrapped it around her. “Hey, hey bebita,¿Estás bien?”

“Si” She shook her head a bit, then turned to him with an irritated look “He just really pisses me off sometimes, you know?”

Santi chuckled. “I know. He’s an asshole, let’s not worry about him, okay?” He wrapped his arms around her, and Candy allowed herself to sink into him. Santiago felt her relax, laying her head on him. He was angry, so fucking angry at Javier for the things he said to Candy, the way he spoke to her, it was hurting with jaw with how much he was clenching it… but it was clear Candy was upset too. His feelings didn’t matter, her’s did. He needed to be her man, be her strength, so he pushed his feelings aside.

Through the doors of the ballroom they could still here the live music playing, and he felt Candy gasp as The Eagle’s hit song, Peaceful Easy Feeling, began.

“I love this song…” She whispered, beginning to sway to the music. The stars were out, shining on her. It felt like they shined for her alone.

‘I like the way your sparkling earrings lay

Against your skin, it's so brown’

“I know.” Santi whispered against her skin. “I asked them to play it.” He sang the next line into her skin.

‘Y quiero dormir contigo en el desierto esta noche

Con mil millones de estrellas alrededor’

Candy took her head off him to look into his eyes. Fuck, she was pretty. So so pretty. He wanted her with him all the time, even though he knew it wasn’t possible. He wasn’t in love. Santi wasn’t sure he was capable of romantic love, honestly. He wasn’t sure he was capable of a love that was safe. But whatever he had with Candy right now it was good.

“You requested this song for me?”

‘'Cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

“Of course I did… wanted to make sure there was music you liked.” Santiago stroked her hair, careful to not mess it up, just enough to feel her. He began to dance with her in earnest.

“You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met, you know that?”

“And I found out a long time ago

What a woman can do to your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anyway

You don't already know how to go”

Santiago twirled her, making Candy giggle. 

“You listen to Fleetwood Mac?” She asked him through her laughs.

‘And I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

He shrugged. “I didn’t until I saw you had three albums, a Fleetwood Mac poster AND a Stevie Nicks poster.”

“So you… just decided to listen?”

“They're clearly important to you.”

He sings to her once again in Spanish

‘Tengo este presentimiento de que te conozco

Como amante y como amiga’

Candy whispers in his ear. “I enjoy our time together. I hope you know that. I do consider you a lover and a friend, Santiago.”

‘But this voice keeps whispering

In my other ear, tells me

I may never see you again’

Santiago believed her, but the ever-presant anxiety inside him told him this was temperary. Don’t feel safe, don’t feel comfortable. You are expendable. You are only loved as long as you are useful. You are only loved as long as you are perfect and good and right all the time. You can never mess up. If you do, WHEN you do, she’ll walk away just like Javi did. Still, he shakes these thoughts off and tries to focus on her. Focus on Candy. 

‘Porque tengo un sentimiento tranquilo y pacifico

Y se que decepcionarás

Porque ya estoy parado

En el suelo’

As the song ended, Santi dipped a giggling Candy down low, admiring the way the dress flowed over her beautiful body.

“Hey Candy, they aren’t gonna let us back in there, wanna hop some shitty bars?”

“I’d like nothing more, Santiago.”

*

Back at his apartment, Candy and Santi giggled their way into his bedroom. A slightly tipsy Santi flopped down on his bed, sighing out a declaration that this was the best night of his life. When he opens his eyes again, he sees you smiling at him. He thinks that he wants to see you in his home more often.

“You look really pretty in that dress, you know that?” Santi says with a love-sick smile plastered all over his face. 

You can’t help but smile back, unable to hamper the little laugh that lightens your chest. He was a bit more tipsy than you’d thought. 

He pouts a little, being overly dramatic on purpose as he leans up on his elbows, his left leg half hanging off the bed as you stand watching him. 

“Don’t laugh.” He pulls a face that has the opposite effect. 

You don’t give him the chance to retort again and poke his foot with your index finger, while you school your face into a mock disapproving scowl. “Shoes on in bed?” You tut, expecting another pout and tease back from him, a shrug and a chorus of ‘Well it’s my bed, I can do whatever I want.’ 

But instead, his eyes widened a little, a small dusting of light pink blossoming over his brown cheeks and nose and highlighting his faint freckles. “S-sorry.” He mumbles quickly, scrabbling up into a sitting position to undo his laces. He’s pulled off one shoe and dropped it carefully to the floor before you even have a chance to register what he’s doing. 

“Hey, hey,” you sit down next to him, your thigh touching his, and stroke your left hand through his curls. They’re a little stiffer than usual from the product he used for the occasion; it hasn’t stopped more than a few rough strands from breaking free though. 

Santi leans into your touch instantly, instinctively closing his eyes and sighing, a weight lifting from his ribs. You wouldn’t be surprised if he started purring. 

“You okay?” You whisper, continuing to run your fingers softly through his hair. 

He nods and hums an affirmative. 

You’re about to ask again, unable to stop yourself from double-checking his well-being. That seed of affection for Santi that first settled in your heart weeks ago has now grown and rooted into your chest, its vines and leaves twisted around your rib cage, seeking out your love like sunlight. 

Just as the words form on your tongue you notice the not-so-subtle bulge in his trousers and bite back a smile. 

Ah.

Not distress. Not panic. Nothing like that at all. Not right now, anyway.

Santi can’t see your expression with his eyes closed. He’s shifted closer, his temple gently against your shoulder as you stroke his hair. He sighs happily, almost dreamily. 

It’s nice to see him like this, relaxed into your touch. He too often seems anxious, worried, worrying about his military friends, worried about Javi, worried about his family although those details remain vague. He’s mentioned his sisters lives in the US, Atlanta she thought, his tia’s he saw so often here, and every now and then a brief mention of his mom but only in passing. You place a soft kiss on his forehead, leaving a faint lipstick stain on his skin and he presses closer to you, nuzzling into the nape of your neck. 

Languidly you run your free hand up his thigh, just tracing your fingers over his crotch before you squeeze. 

The sharp, low moan that escapes his lips is more than worth it, though the gasped word that tumbles out is a bit of a surprise. 

“Mommy,” 

He freezes instantly, his eyes going wide and teeth audibly snapping shut. In less than a second he’s racking his brain, trying to work out how, why, where did that word come from? What deep, dark recess of his mind forced that word to the surface? Something was wrong with him. Something fundamentally wrong with him, deep down in the recesses of his brain. He was fucked up. He was going to hell.

Maybe you hadn’t heard it. Maybe you wouldn’t notice it. But already Santi knew those hopes were a lost cause. The way your hand had tightened momentarily in his hair the second it slipped past his tongue. He’d had a drink, a few drinks- although they’d mostly worn off throughout the night- that was a good enough excuse right? Oh god. What must you think? What would you-

“You’re my good boy, aren’t you?” Your voice was low and sweet, a caress to his very soul and he shivered in spite of himself, moaning again and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroked his painfully hard cock. 

He nodded his head rapidly, not wanting to disappoint you. He’d be good, he’d be so fucking good for you. His breath hot on your neck as he pressed closer, angling his body completely towards you with a soft whimper. 

You continued stroking him for a moment longer, pressing the heel of your palm firmly against his thick base before you unzipped his fly and flicked open his trouser buttons. You always loved this, loved how needy he got, how desperate for you.

Santi groaned loudly, his lips against your neck, half muffling his words against your skin as he squirmed into your touch. 

“Hmm?” You halted your actions teasingly, waiting for him to repeat himself. 

The small sob and bob of his throat nearly broke your resolve, but he pulled his face away from you a fraction to speak. 

“Mommy, please,” he whispered. 

You couldn’t help yourself, it wasn’t like it was the first man to call you ‘mommy’ in bed, but there was something about sweet, innocent Santi who had blushed his way through your first encounter not that long ago speaking that world that set your blood ablaze. 

“Please what?” You teased. 

He squirmed again, bucking helplessly against your hand. “Please?”

“You’re gonna have to use a few more words than that pretty boy, or I won’t be able to help you.”

Santi let out an anguished sigh, pressing his face into your neck once more.

Quickly, you moved your hand away from his weeping cock and firmly pinched his chin between your fingers, pulling him back ever so slightly so that you could look into his dark brown eyes as you title his face up. 

“If you don’t speak, Mommy won’t be able to help you.” 

Santi audibly moaned, his eyes rolling back for a split second before he shut them tight. His dick twitched uncontrollably. 

“Yes, please, sorry, I’ll be good, I’ll be a good boy.” His words were all rushed together and there was a hazy look to his gaze when he opened his eyes again, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. 

You petted his hair gently. “I know you will be, Mommy’s got you, sweetheart.”

He whimpered, rubbing his thighs together with every word. 

“Now, tell me what you want.” 

“Can I,” he swallowed again, placing his hand on the zip of your dress, “can I undo this?” 

That wasn’t what you expected him to say, and you raised an eyebrow at him lazily as you smiled and nodded. 

Santi let out a little nervous breath before hastily undoing the dress and carefully slipping it off your shoulders and down to your waist. You weren’t wearing a bra.

He held his breath as he gazed at your chest, his left hand hovering just above your skin as he stared with reverence. As if he hadn’t seen you semi-naked many, many times before. 

You stroked his hair again. “You’re such a good buy, aren’t you? Asking for what you need?” You say softly, just to gently break him out of his trance. You did enjoy teasing him, but never for very long. He always listened, always did as he was told, and you were happy to reward him

He nods quickly, never taking his eyes off your breasts. The tip of his tongue pokes out and wets his bottom lip. 

Ever so slowly he leans forward, placing a light, sweet kiss to your lips, the corner of your mouth, your cheek, before trailing down to your neck and collarbone. His kisses get messier, wetter, more urgent the further down he goes and you don’t expect him to pause, panting against your skin. 

He looks up at you with large eyes that send a shudder of heat through your core. “Can I kiss your breasts… mommy?” He adds the name shyly, looking down momentarily so that his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. 

You keep stroking his hair as you nod, hooking your fingers around the nape of his neck and guiding him towards your chest. He takes the small movement and runs with it instantly, surging forward and covering your breasts in desperate, wet kisses. Switching back and forth between them constantly as if he simply had to lavish each with the exact same amount of attention. He moans as he lightly bites and sucks, his hands digging into your skin as he holds onto you for dear life. 

You press him closer, urging him on by digging your fingers into his curls and scratching your nails along his scalp. He rewards you with another muffled groan, the vibrations reverberating along your skin and sending a shiver of pleasure down your spine. 

Santi pushes closer, the force nearly knocking you onto your back as he latches onto your left nipple. You brace your right hand on the bed behind you so that you can keep your balance. 

“Such a good boy Santi.” You whisper and he whines, looking up at you once with lazy, lust-blown eyes as he keeps his mouth against you. He sucks demandingly, the sensation almost bordering on too much, but still somehow not enough, and swirls his tongue around your nipple before lapping at it and starting the process all over again. His hips are bucking desperately, but he doesn’t dare ask for attention. He knows you’ll take care of him. You always will.

He sighs, shifting, simultaneously trying to get something and not knowing what he wants at the same time. 

You know what he needs though. 

You coo at him, soothing and sweet as you pull in closer into your arms, cradling his head as you gently ease him into your lap. He moans so loudly, the sound quickly becoming a whine in his throat as you embrace him.

For a few seconds, he seems to relax into you, all the stress of the day and previous weeks and months draining from his soul and bones as he gently sucks. But then he starts to squirm, his thighs shaking and stomach muscles tensing. He pulls his mouth off of you with a pop and low, desperate groan. His eyes shut tight and eyebrows knitted together as he whines and presses his forehead against your skin.

“Gonna cum.” At the very back of his mind he has a sense that he should be embarrassed, embarrassed that he’s this far gone and going to cum practically untouched. But he can’t fight the pleasure as it bubbles up his spine, doesn’t want to. 

“You can cum Santi,” you whisper in his ear. “You’re such a good boy, cum for Mommy.” 

He shakes his head, unsure why, tears at the very corners of his eyes, “please.”

“It’s okay,” you soothe, holding him tight and kissing his temple. “I’m here.” 

He moans loudly, latching back onto your breast and sucking for all he’s worth.

“Mommy’s here.” 

He groans again, pulling away a fraction to get his words out. His voice is breath and high. “Want Mommy to cum.” 

The pleading in his voice spikes at the throbbing arousal in your core. “Santi, it’s okay-”

His whine is muffled against your chest as he reaches down, sliding his hands between your legs to caress your body the way he knows you like. You’d taught him exactly how you want to be touched, exactly how you touch yourself. He was an eager learner.

“Santi,” you manage to breathe out through his messy desperate kisses. 

“Mommy needs to cum now please,” he murmurs, his speech slurred against your tongue, 

Your breath catches, thighs squirming as he strokes you, the movements soft but sure. It only takes an embarrassingly short time before you’re moaning into his mouth and tensing as your release overtakes you in a rush. 

When it’s clear you’ve cum, he tenses, his orgasm following through him and bursting behind his eyes. His cock throbs as he empties himself into his pants. You smile softly at his face as his forehead pinches in bliss, your hand still stroking his hair. 

There’s a pause, a small moment of quiet just before he sighs deeply, feeling weak and boneless. And then he looks up at you with his dark, dark eyes. The softness, the relief, the adoration… the sleepiness. 

“So good, Santiago… you’re so good. My perfect boy…”

Santi sighs against your skin, relishing in the tender moment as you play with his hair. “Was that weird?” He mumbles into your skin.

“Noooo, no not at all. It’s very common, actually.”

He looks up at you through heavy lids and suspicious eyes. “Really?”

“Oooooh yeah.” You chuckle. “More often than you think. I’m not here to judge anyone.”

He doesn’t seem convinced, but he seems to relax. “Okay. Yeah. Okay.”

You opt to not talk about it anymore, at least for the time being. He’s so tired right now, coming hard and untouched, and you decide it’s time to put him to bed. By the time you lay him from your lap to his pillow, he’s half asleep, so you opt with minimal dress. Gentle, you unbutton his shirt and slowly, carefully slide his shirt off. When you take off his trousers and underwear fully, you replace them with sweats. You think he’s asleep, breathing slowly and eyes closed. He looks positively angelic. When your getting ready to zip up your dress again, and make your exit, you hear his voice once more.

“Stay the night?”

You sigh. “Santi, I dunno if that’s a good idea…”

His eyes open slightly, just enough so you can see him. “Please, I’ll pay you whatever you want, I just don’t want tonight to end…”

He looks so vulnerable in this moment… and you don’t want this night to end either. Rules be damned. Santi was different. Santi was better. Santi was good. And you?  You deserved some damn good.

“Don’t pay me, I’ll stay.”

Santiago sits up ever so slightly. “No, no Candy this is your job. I don’t expect free-”

“It’s not free, honey.” You begin to strip down, Santi’s sleepy eyes drifting down your naked body, staring at the knife at your garter. “We’re going to sleep, just like I would at home. And tomorrow, you’ll make me breakfast. Sound like a fair trade?” The truth was, sleeping with Santi, actually sleeping with Santi, sounded wonderful. You didn’t want it to feel like a transaction. 

So, you slip into his clothes. You wear a tee shirt and sweats and climb into his bed where you think he’s actually asleep this time. He snores lightly. He sleeps on his stomach, so you rub his back. He feels nice. 

You want better for him. You want him to have a stable life, a loving wife who wasn’t a whore, kids if he wanted them, his family and friends surrounding him. He should have to live in danger, work a dangerous job. He should be allowed to be happy. It wasn’t a life you could give him, you knew… but you could imagine.

You kiss the scar on his spine.

******************

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading!!!!

If you're still hear, please drop a lil HI! It's 12 pm here, inching towards 1 but i promised to put this out so i will!!!

Everyone PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLOUSE FOR FEN FOR THE SMUT IN THE COMMENTS AND REBLOGS SO I CAN MAKE SURE THEY SEE ALL THE LOVE

I hope everyone is saying as safe as they can be in these temps, my heart goes out to all those struggling but especially those in war zones, poverty, homelessness, or in areas that were previously never this cold and thus unprepared for a harsh winter. I know us northerners joke about how cold we get, but I know its different when your infrastructure isnt equipped to take this on.

So tell me friends

Did Javier have a reason to be mad at Santi?

Or was he overreacting?

TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE ARGUEMENT AND YOUR THOTS ON OUR DEAR SANTI

@runa-falls @lunar-ghoulie @campingwiththecharmings @whatthefishh @persephone-girl @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @beelzebeth87 @pimosworld @millerscoffee @heareball @thatwonderouswoman @poolb @meveispunk @lovable-liar @millllenniawrites @read-and-wip @missdictatorme @the-fox-den @milkymoon2483 @k-ra @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rosellacwrites @legendary-pink-dot @dreamingofbucky @englandsgray @starsthatwatch @fairlyang @alwaysmicado @theywhowriteandknowthings @casa-boiardi @lostfleurs @ninebluehearts @puglover12 @sub-aro @laiisleiite @itspdameronthings @heareball @comfortlessjoy @csarab615 @calaveramangonda @bit-dodgy-innit @stevngrant @kirsteng42 @mrsjavierp @nanfafnan @lovable-liar @axshadows @cookielovesbook-akie @reallyrallyauthor @solar-fics @criticalarchitecture

[romanarose]

what is the main thing that drew you to joel (answer cannot be everything, has to be one main thing pls <3)

Hello friend!!!

Short answer/TLDR: his protectiveness

Long answer

Before the last of us came out my three main series that I had been working on or Seattle, sunshine, starlight, sweetheart, Brightside, and leather and lace. All three of those series made heavily on the main characters, the moon boys and Santiago Garcia being very protective over Laci, Sam and Becca.

Especially santi over Laci lolololol

I’m SSSB Marc notes that he thinks Sam gets turned on when she feels safe and protected

I am the same way lol

I was a casual fan of Pedro Pascal until the last of us. I loved him in the Mandalorian and as soon as I saw, triple frontier, that movie became my everything lol so I loved Frankie.

Joel is very protective of everyone around him. As soon as I saw episode one I knew it was all over for me the way that he did absolutely everything for Sarah. Similar with Tommy how he was very focused on trying to protect Sarah. Joel tried to protect Tommy, Tess, Sam, Ellie, all the people that were innocent until the hospital scene

I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime, mostly multiple instances of sexual abuse that have forever changed who I am as a person

Because of that, I am very wary around men and anyone that might be a threat to me, which has been women a handful of times too

I love the idea that Joel wouldn’t let anything happen to me. He would protect me with everything he had, but not just my sexual and physical safety but my mental and emotional safety. My dad never physically hurt my mom, but he was always so unkind and I never wanted anything like that.

I know that land tends to get a little muddled because I write dark fiction but for the most part, the Joel series that I write that have complex character narratives, and why he does what he does and who he is. His heart though I think he’s protective. Even dark series like the wrong way, guard, dog, puppy girl. we see Joel taking on a protective roll even in the wrong way it’s a fucking mess, he likes to think that he’s protecting Tommy and little one.

Joel’s character makes me feel safe. Like he would do anything to protect me. Both him and Santiago Garcia are my comfort characters 100%.

Thanks sm for the ask!!!

[romanarose]

Meet my Oc’s!

Samantha Marie Waters

From my series Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, Sam is an energetic, quirky, compassionate redhead from a large family. With a history of child abuse, sexual assault and mental illness, when she meets Steven, Marc and Jake she does a good job at hiding it. She thinks.

Rebecca Levi

From Seattle, this is Rebecca after Marc has to come get her when she finally decides to leave her abusive husband after years of abuse leaving her with scarring on her face. Rebecca is intense, hard working with a strong sense of justice towards everyone except herself. Rebecca is proudly Jewish.

Candy

Candy started as just a reader with a nickname but took a like of her own. A prostitute in 70’s Colombia she is an informant to Javier Peña and Santiago Garcia. She is self sufficient, outspoken and protective of those she holds dear. Candy is Colombian and has worked her way out of brothels to own her own sex work completely.

Lacina Marie Dumas

First picture is when santi first finds her tied up in a basement. Second picture is several months later, Laci is happy and getting better, one step at a time. Laci is a gentle soul, girly, giggly, cried easily and cares deeply for others. Despite being all of 5 feet (barely) she is fiercely protective of 6’3 Ben miller. Her father was an immigrant from French and she speaks French. She’s soft and empathetic.

Jana Abeda Fernandez

Frankie Morales’s “lady” and the mother of his children, Jana never stopped loving him when they broke up after she got sober and he couldn’t just yet. But she never gave up on the love of her life, supporting him until the time was right to get back together. Jana is a highly educated Afro-Latina woman, she’s laid back, teasing, and fun loving ex-military current social worker. Jana has a strong sense of right and wrong and is protective of the vulnerable

Lorelei Ngoc Giang

A lover of all things old Hollywood, Lorelei dresses like something out of a 50’e fashion magazine. Don’t let her classy look and love of flowers fool you, Lorelei doesn’t fuck around. Will swears he fell in love the day he met her when she was Ben’s ER nurse and she didn’t take his shit. When her ex boyfriend slapped her, she knocked out his tooth. Lorelei is calm, self-assured in her abilities and brain but less in her self worth. She’s stunningly beautiful, incredibly intelligent and if she thinks you’re being a dick, she’ll tell you.

Cameron MacDonald

Not introduced yet in the LaL universe, Cam is Ben’s “one that got away” a wondering soul, a stoner hippie, Cam is a seasonal farmhand, working odd jobs during off season and traveling the country in his van. Him and Ben were each others first loves and gay awakening. Cameron is obsessed with Bruce Springsteen and old music. He loves Ben dearly and never found anyone like him since high school. Ben is happy, goofy, hardworking and can match bens high energy

And finally

Clementine O’Niel

Originally a reader in the wrong way known as “little one”, I’m adapting the fic into a dark romance novel. Emmy is Arab and Irish,her father marrying her mother overseas, but where, no one knows.m Emmy is horrifically traumatized from the abuse of her father and other men, but even still she never stops trying. She’s emotional, a frequent cryer but also self sufficient and capable in many ways. She loves Joel very much despite it all, but she loves her unborn child more than anything

[romanarose]

Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside: Chapter 30

Steven Grant x OC X Marc Spector

Story Masterlist

Pervious part : Next part

Fic Summary: Steven meets Sam and they strike up a quick relationship, both kindhearted and loving, they fall fast. But both have a lot going on. Steven had Marc and Moon Knight, and Sam has mental health problems of her own. Slowly, Steven starts to put together pieces of her story as Sam starts to get to know Marc and Jake.

Chapter summer: Sam goes missing, the boys find her in a position they had been worried about for a long time.

WARNINGS!!!!! Warnings are gonna have a lot of spoilers so skipa head if you dont want spoilers!!! Drinking, smoking, refernces to sex, but most importantly, hhuuuuuugggeeeee warning for suicidal ideation and a suicide attempt. It like..... it's really rough, y'all. But ngl i think I kinda popped off on it this. Like. I went hard. Might be some of my best work. Anyway, mind the warnings.

How many song references can you catch? Idk why I put so many in this one.

************

"Well, I woke up to the sound of silence and cries were cutting like knives in a fist fight

And I found you with a bottle of wine, your head in the curtains and heart like the Fourth of July

You swore and said “we are not

We are not shining stars” this I know, I never said we are

Though I've never been through Hell like that

I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back”

~Carry on, fun.

Where’s Sam?

“I don’t know, I woke up and she was gone. Sam?” Jake called out her name, hoping he just didn’t see her

Steven took the body, standing up and going to the kitchen.

Her cigarettes aren’t on the counter

Maybe she’s smoking?

At 3 AM?

Steven ran down the stairwell, not patient enough to wait for the elevator Pick up pick up pick up Steven mumbled, calling Sam’s phone again and again. When they reached the bottom of the stairs and out the door, the area where Sam usually smoked outside the building was empty and she wasn’t answering his calls.

Call Jessica and Elena, see if they know

Elena didn’t pick up, probably passed out drunk on this warmer Friday night. Jessica answered, despite the time, but she didn’t know where she was. This only succeeded in worrying Jessica, who insisted on going out and looking for her. Steven refused, saying having Jessica wandering the streets of London would only serve to distract Steven. He promised to text when he found her. 

This is your fucking fault, Jake, fuck you

A pause, as Jake Lockley was uncharacteristically quiet, processing the words. Excuse me?

So you can manage to keep working for Khonshu, being his stupid fucking fist of vengence, but you waited until after Jordan attacked, cut, beat and molested her to kill him?

Marc, that’s not fair but no one was listening to him

I told her before, I would’ve done it if I hadn’t thought it would get you in trouble with her

And after we found out about you? You don’t do it then?

Marc, she didn’t want you guys to kill him, she made that clear

Well she doesn’t always know what’s best for herself

Jesus c h r i s t Marc she’s 25, she’s not a fucking child.

Answer me, Jake

You don’t want to do this

Fucking answer me

I tried, okay? I tried to find him and I couldn’t.

You didn’t think to ask Khonshu?

A long pause

Marc, just leave it alone

Maybe you should listen to him, Marc

Answer me!

Fine, Khonshu was pissed because I couldn’t take the body hardly at all anymore, so he refused to give me any information

Another long pause

What?

Yeah.

So, the reason Jordan hurt her…

Marc don’t do this.

Is because I refused to share the body with you?

Stop! stop feeling so bloody guilty about everything all the goddamn time! I can’t fucking take it!

It’s my fault this happened, and it’s my fault she’s gone!

Can we focus on finding her first? Then deal with this?

A voice Steven knew all too well, but hadn’t heard in nearly a year rang through.

Look up, little bug

Steven did as he was told, not questioning why Khonshu decided to appear at this time, but thankful for him, for once. When his eyeline found the rooftop, he felt the wind get knocked out of him as he saw a single leg dangling over and a body laid out on the top.

Sam

If Jake and Marc were arguing still, he couldn’t hear them through the thrumb of blood rushing through his head. There were no thoughts, just Get to the roof.

He carefully opened the door to the rooftop access, not wanting to startle her.

She was laying out on the wall, a cigarette in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other. She didn’t even look as he tentatively stepped towards her. There was a half empty bottle of vodka on the ground.

“Should’ve known you’d come here. Can’t get shit past you three.” Her voice was derisive as she looked up at the sky.

Steven spoke carefully, trying impossibly hard to hide the anxiety threatening to boil over and scream like a kettle of water ready for tea. “What are you doing up here, sweetheart?” He spoke as casually as if he found her in the kitchen after bed. 

“Deciding whether or not to jump.” Was her blatant answer.

Jesus Christ. Jake’s normally steady voice breathed out with a shake.

Grab her, Steven. Steven, get her away from there.

Be careful, don’t scare her

Steven took a tentative step forward. “Can you maybe step away from the ledge, darling? Maybe we can talk about this?

“Wish you would step back from the ledge my friend” Sam sang to herself. She was drunk.

“Can we… maybe we can go for a walk, take a breath?” He coaxed with a few more steps, so close to her.

She held out a hand. “Stop, or I swear to god I’ll roll over.”

Steven froze. Get. Her. Away. Marc insisted. “You don’t have to do that, can you tell me what’s-”

“Stoooooooop” she groaned out. “Stop trying to fix things, stop trying to talk about things. Sometimes shit just SUCKS, Steven.” Her words were sluring together as she took another swig of the wine.

He nodded slowly, hands up, open palmed. “Okay, right then, shit just sucks. It can suck away from the ledge, yeah? We can suck together”

Finally, Sam turned to look at him. “It’s never going to suck together, Steven. Three of you can try, but you’ll never get it. And y’all got yer own things I’ll never understand either. But you will never understand how this feels. You will never know what it feels like to have your body repeatedly violated for what feels like hours, for it to end, only for him to show up a decade later and violate you again.” She paused, face twitching back tears. “I’m going to sit up now, don’t move. I’m not jumping, but I will if you try to touch me” She warned.

Steven had to physically stop Marc from taking the body as he watched Sam sling her other leg over the edge as she faced the city. He noticed her shoulders were shaking. “I know that… that I can’t understand what you’ve been through, or what Marc and Jake have, for that matter. But I love you, I love you and I need you here with me. Nothing will happen to you again, no one will-”

“That’s what you said last time” She spoke, almost sing-songy.

Steven shut his eyes tight, wishing Marc hadn’t heard that. “I know, love, I know. Maybe that’s not a fair promise to make. And I’m sorry.” He opened them again, forcing himself too, just to make sure she was still there. “And I’m sorry, I am so sorry I wasn’t there, that I couldn’t-

“Doooooon’t” She drawled out, waving her hand. “I know you guys -oof- all feel guilty, especially Marc. Fucker feels guilty for everything, jesus christ…” She muttered off, losing her train of thought. “It’s not any of your fault. None of this.” She glanced back at Steven. “Make sure Marc knows that.” She turned back, distracted by the stars in the sky. Starlight…

“You can tell him, because you aren't going to jump” Steven shook his head as if he were willing it to happen, willing her to safety. “Just let me help-”

“You can’t help, Steven!” She raised her hands, wine flying out of the bottle she was fisting. “That’s the thing!” Sam set the bottle down and lit another cigarette, glancing at him over her shoulder and raising an eyebrow. “There is no help. You can’t just fix this.” She shook her head, looking back again.

“Maybe…” Steven took a silent step forward while her back was turned. She was wobbly, the effects of nearly an entire bottle of wine and some vodka getting to her. He didn’t like how she teetered around the edge. “Maybe there isn’t a way for me to fix you, but maybe we can be broken together?”

She shook her head. She felt like Inspector Javert in Les Mis, trailing the edge of the bridge, debating whether or not it was worth it to keep going. “You all deserve better than me, and I’m too selfish to leave… I don’t know what other options there are.” Sam glanced at the street, so far below her, and shuttered, leaning back again. Javert has his life saved by ValJean, and still decided to throw it all away rather than be wrong. Sam couldn’t help but feel his suicide a bit foolish, comparatively.

Marc took the body. “There is no better than you, Brightside. You’re all I want, you’re all I need, you’re everything…” He tried, for the sake of keeping calm, not to cry. Marc Spector didn’t cry, not hardly ever. But when he was so close to losing her…

Sam scoffed. “There is so much better than me.”

Jake saw it before any of the others, the teeter that went too far. Whether it was intentional and she was jumping, or the alcohol had taken its toll, it didn’t matter. Jake lunged for her, wrapping an arm around her waist, and another as she tried to break free and push herself off. That was intentional. “STOP!” She screamed as they collapsed backwards on the floor of the roof, Sam fighting and screaming to get out of their grasp as Marc took the body. “LET GO!” Sam was in hysterics, no longer fighting to live, but fighting to die. “IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME GO!” She shrieked at the top of her lungs, begging him to give up, let her go, let her die. But Marc never would.

Eyed pinched closed as his heart shattered for Sam, he wrapped her up the way he had done so many times before, only this time he hooked his legs around hers and grabbed her hands, his significantly stronger body keeping her in place. He didn’t like this, he didn’t like trapping her or holding her against her will, but he couldn’t let go, not when he had almost seen her push herself off the roof. She continued fighted even as she ran out of ‘let me go please, let me go’ was her unholy repetition, one that Marc will surely hear in his nightmares from then on. But as long as she was there, as long as he could hold her hand when he woke up at night the way she held his, he’d be okay.

He squeezed her hands. Left, Right, left, right, until she started to calm down. Marc felt her chest starting to heave.

“Are you going to throw up?” He asked.

“Why…” she panted, suddenly very, very, tired. “Why would I throw up?” She asked with a condescending air despite the obvious signs. 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because that’s what you always do when you panic?” He said sardonically, his voice laced with sarcasm. “Or maybe, because of the vodka you were drinking straight?” 

“Oh fuck” She mumbled.

Marc moved quickly, getting her up on her knees and trying to keep her short hair back. Unlike previous times where he simply made a make-shift ponytail, this time he had to practically make a headband with both hands to stop her short, layered hair from falling in her face. Her body shook with violent heaves as Sam threw up her half-digested dinner. Vegan burritos that Steven made. Her favorite. She might never eat one again.

When she seemed done, Marc pulled her back, arm coming back to her waist as he rested against the generator. There they sat in a long silence, Marc’s usual position returned. His hold on her was no longer desperate and fearful, his legs no longer keeping her in place. Sam rested her head against Marc’s chest as she curled up in his arms. Marc started first. “I’m sorry” Came the apology. Sam knew he would do that eventually, about something.

She groaned. “What for.”

“For last night.” He said as if it was obvious.

Sam laughed dryly, borderline mocking. “Are you kidding me, Marc? What could you possible be sorry for, giving me an orgasm?

Marc didn’t appreciate that. “Sam, I fucked you, then you tried to kill yourself!”

Marc… Please stop, I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself

You don’t have to carry the entire world. It’s doesn’t all have to rest on you

Sam rolled her eyes with her whole head. “Oh for fucks sack, Marc, stop! Steven did most of the fucking and you know it!”

Sam’s back

“Not everything thing is about you! And I know, I know that’s hypocritical of me to say, seeing as I make everything about me, all the time” Her initial point was lost, the drunken rambling taking over. “I know I’m not the center of the universe…” She reached back to feel his face; Marc leaned into her touch. “But you keep spinning ‘round me just the same…”

Marc burr tied his face in her new haircut, the smell so distinctly her, despite the salon shampoo “You’re the center of my universe. Our universe. Sam, you are our center of gravity, our nucleus pulling us in, together…”

Sam felt tears pickling in her eyes as she settled further into him, Marc wrapping his arms tighter. “I’m tired. I just… I can’t keep doing this, Marc. I’m fucking exhausted.”

“I know, Sam, I know. But I promise, it will get better. I know it will.”

“How?”

He sighed. “I was going to kill myself, years ago. Things were… really bad. I didn’t think they could be fixed. But I was given a second chance. And I made a lot of mistakes along the way, but things did get better. I’m at a place now that I never thought I could be.”

A dry laugh. “This is better for you?”

He returned it with a small laugh. “Well, maybe not right now. I can’t stand seeing you like this. But overall, yeah. I’m much happier with you, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”

A small smile crept on her face. She turned to look at him ��Even dealing with my family?”

Marc tried to brush the hair from her face, remembering now that she had bangs and that was the point. “Even if it means putting up with Jake.” He felt Sam laugh at that. “I mean it, Brightside, I won’t stop him from fronting anymore, I’ll stop being a dick, and if you love him and you want to date him too-”

How many fucking times do I gotta tell you, pendejo-

Now Sam was really laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

She was still giggling. As much as Marc was confused, he was happy to hear her laugh. She could laugh at him all she wanted as long as she was laughing.

“Marc, you know how you, me, and Steven have nicknames for each other? Steven calls me sweetheart, you call me brightside, I call Steven Sunshine and you, Starlight?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you never noticed what Jake calls me?”

Marc was still confused. “Mija and manita”

“Do yoooouuuu know what those mean?” The alcohol making her toy with him.

Marc shrugged. “I just figured they were his flirty spanish nicknames.”

Sam look up at the love of her life, beaming. “I can’t believe you don’t know Spanish”

“I know some!” He defended, planting a kiss of her forehead. “You gonna tell me what they mean?”

“My daughter and little sister, Marc. He’s like a brother to me. That’s it. Okay?”

It suddenly fucking made sense.

Do you beleive me when I say I care about her?

For once, Marc did.

Can I talk to her, mate?

“Steven wants to talk, is that okay?”

She nodded, feeling sleepy in his arms.

“Hello love” Steven took off his jacket and pulled it on her like a blanket. Despite the warmth of the alcohol, she was shivering. “Gave us quite a scare there, thought we lost you.”

“m’sorry, Sunshine. I love you. I don’t wanna leave you guys, I’m just… I’m tired”

Steven started to massage her scalp, lulling her to sleep after the dreadful evening. “I know, Sweetheart. I know.”

“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to wait years for things to get better. I’m exhausted now.”

Steven thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully. “Mary’s First Communion is next month, yeah?” Steven appealed to Sam’s love of her siblings.

“Yeah…”

“So maybe… maybe you don’t have to stay alive forever. Just try to make it through next month so you can see her and your family for that?” He suggested.

Sam considered this proposition. “Then what?”

“Then, well then you graduate in May! So you can just hold out another month to see all your hard work pay off.”

“Then what?”

“Then… then we’ll find the next thing, then the next thing, then the next, until it’s better. We’ll take it a little bit at a time.”

“Okay… thatsoundsgood.” The words meshed together and she was nearly asleep in his arms. “I love you, Steven with a V”

“And I love you, Just Sam.”

Jake?

Yeah?

Thank you… and… I’m sor-

You’re welcome, hermano.

**************

I genuinely appreciate y'all reading so, so much. 3 chapters left. I swear things are on the up and up now. It's gonna be okay. Sam is gonna be okay. Marc, Jake, and Steven are gonna be okay.

Promise.

I think I wanna do a bonus chapter from either Chris or Jessica's perspective, which would y'all prefer?

Comments mean the world, and reblogs are essential for sharing my work! Love y'all @ahookedheroespureheart @kr-mlk @mt2sssss @cherryvalentine1 @tippycakes26 @missdictatorme @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @nicepeony

[romanarose]

Marc Spector. Chapter 1: no Steven don’t walk her home no don’t go in her apartment this is a bad idea oh no

Marc Spector, chapter 14:

[romanarose]

Oh god so many

1. Chapter two of darkness on the edge of town (Joel miller x oc)

2. Chapter 3 of take your time (Frankie x Jana)

3. Valentine’s Day bonus chapter of leather and lace (santi x laci)

4. Part four of awakening (Benny x santi )

5. Part 5 of awakening (I’m jumping ahead lol, will x reader x santi)

6. All summer long (Benny x Frankie)

7. Sunshine starlight sweetheart Brightside chapter 33 (last chapter!!! Steven x Sam x marc)

8. Addicted, part three of fuck you like an animal (steven x reader)

I need help I can’t focus ☠️☠️☠️

Tagging my loves @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @bit-dodgy-innit @toracainz @howaboutcastiel

WIP Game

tagged by @prolix-yuy and @mindidjarin thank you to both of you <33

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips.   

dark hearted people - ezra x reader x joel

stay in bed

perfectly wrong - joel miller x reader pwp

screwed up and brilliant - max phillips x reader

unnamed brat taming with joel

tagging: @fuckyeahdindjarin @radiowallet @jazzelsaur @littlemisspascal @goodwithcheese @wint3r-h3art @inklore @fluffyprettykitty @queenofthefaceless @welcometostayingawake and anyone who wants to!