#sunny making shit dead memes again
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#spamton#spamton neo#sneo#sunny screams#I get so much gender envy from that freak#but also weird biomechanical creature friendâŠ#sunny making shit dead memes again
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Excerpts from Sunny and Iâs DMs about The Drakes Spoiled Brat, in no particular order
Sunny = @batfambrainrotbeloved
Bryn = me
Sunny: âYes pretty!! And Deadly-â
Sunny: âQuick opinion question-â
*About 30 messages of me talking about interior design follow*
Sunny: âBecause I need the VIBE-â
Sunny: âI keep trying to find reference images of "giant ass creepy painting on a wall" BUT Pinterest keeps giving me live laugh love style shitâ
Bryn: âJUSTICE FOR ALFREDâS PIS
*PUE
*PIE
đ apparently I canât spell today lmaoâ
Sunny: "The pie deserved better"
Sunny: âAnd I shall, after I finish this fucking pie chapterâ
Bryn: âOkay but odds on on the Wayneâs actually looking out a window in the right direction in that massive ass houseâ
Sunny: âPlot convinence oddsâ
Bryn: âFair, fairâ
Sunny: âTrue- I underestimated Tims utter need to throw handsâ
Sunny: âALSO ALSO- another debate scne
sene
jesus okayÂ
s c e n eâ
Sunny: âOkay ignore the fact its mlp- BUT this vibe basically
WAIT NO WRONG SONG
...Its still mlpâ
Bryn: âOh nooooooooooâ
Sunny: âI can see the memes already <333â
Bryn: â[redacted] not doing his fuckin research: this is fineâ
Sunny: âit just fucking DIED- thats not importantâ
Bryn: â[redacted]: I wish I could be happyÂ
The universe: you wonât be happy unless youâre dead bitchâ
Sunny: âNOT THAT H E KNOWS THATâ
Sunny: âhuh... so THATS what happenedâ
Bryn: â[redacted]: âI wish to be remembered as greatâ Tim: âyeah a great PAIN IN THE ASS-ââ
Bryn: âI can and will contribute ideasâ
Sunny: âIM COPY PASTA INTO THE OUTLINE DOC DONT WORRYâ
Bryn: âD OÂ I Tâ
Bryn: âSome much needed humor before you break Tim againâ
Sunny: âHUMOR TIME BABYYYâ
Bryn: âDAMNIT IM MAKING MYSLEF CRYâ
Sunny: âGOD IM MAKING MYSELF SADâ
Bryn: âTIM WOULD SO BE SPIRALING, THE POOR BOY đâ
Sunny: âBECAUSE AGAIN- HES AN IDIOTâ
Bryn: âYES YES YES ABSOLUTELYâ
Sunny: âAHHHHHHHâ
Bryn: âOH NO TRAGIC IDEAâ
Sunny: âDO TELL???â
Bryn: âOh noooooo Iâm too good at angst ideas sometimesâŠâ
Sunny: âNo no you gotta share nowâ
Bryn: *shares an idea, idea redacted for your sanity*
Sunny: âFUCKOÂ
OH MY GOD
Shock factor is THEREâ
Sunny: âIf not that's totally fine- I'll just do some FBI flagged list worthy researchâ
Bryn: âI love that, I hope we can see the instant regret in the actual story :)â
Bonus: a comment from the Google doc for Chapter 11!
Bryn: âJason, having found one of Tim's broken birds, running into the batcave with it in his hand: THE BIRDS WORK FOR THE BOURGEOISIE GUYSâ
An unredacted version will be posted when we eventually get to the point in the story where the redacted stuff no longer spoils anything!
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 178
Many Happy Returns/The Empty Hearse
âMany Happy Returnsâ
Plot Description: John and Lestrade try to move on with their lives after Sherlockâs apparent death. However, Anderson believes heâs still alive
I didnât WANT to have to go to youtube to actually find Many Happy Returns, but itâs apparently not on my dvds, which is bullshit
Would you consider Anderson to be the original Charlie Day meme because we used him in these episodes as a âperson goes mad over complicated theoriesâ meme first? Or would would whichever episode came out first (Always Sunny) to be the origin of the meme? Or neither because I feel like people have been going mad over complex theories for a LONG long time
Poor Greg getting absolutely RIPPED APART and so CASUALLY by Anderson
Oh these poor boys. Theyâre very awkward together because the thing that held them together WAS Sherlock. Itâs like that episode of New Girl where Schmidt and Winston have to hang out together without NickâŠexcept in this case, they both think Nick is dead instead ofâŠâŠâŠon a date? Maybe? I dunno, itâs been a while since I watched it
Does John just have a degradation kink? Sherlock, on a video for Johnâs birthday (though this is the uncut version), went on and on about how all of Johnâs friends hate him, how he wrote a paper on that sort of thing based on spending time with John and his friends, and all John did after is ask him again to stop being deadâŠâŠ..
âThe Empty Hearseâ
Plot Description: Mycroft calls Sherlock back to London to investigate an underground terrorist organization
The bungee cord, the hypnotist, Sherlock kissing MollyâŠthis is all just very absurd
Oh PLEASE. The height difference between Jim and Sherlock alone should prove that Sherlockâs corpse wasnât Jim with a maskâŠ
Itâs weird to have Greg tell Anderson that all his theories are guilt over what he and Donovan did. BecauseâŠit likely IS but also HEâS RIGHT, at least that Sherlockâs been behind a lot of foreign cases getting solved lately and that his death was faked. Maybe not the exact way it happened but still. I wish they explored Andersonâs guilt more without us knowingâŠthought, that WOULD be difficult to sell. The series is called Sherlock and how do you have season three without the title character?? AnywayâŠ
God. How did I forget about the mustache???
Iâll never not be in favor of things in languages I donât speak, but mannnn do my eyes hate reading subtitles on my tv screens. The squinting I have to doâŠ
Oh. Mycroft didnât just CALL Sherlock back. He went to whatever Eastern Europe prison Sherlock was in and, posing as some kind of authority figure there, dragged him out himself. There is a DIFFERENCE
John deciding toâŠvisit? 221bâŠI donât like how confused Mrs Hudson was to see him. He stayed in touch to some extent with Greg but not Mrs Hudson?
THATâS WHAT IâM SAYING!!! Mycroft is MUCH more likely to make calls and decisions to get shit done, not go out and do it himself. Thatâs what he has spies and Sherlock for. Though, you canât exactly SEND Sherlock to retrieve Sherlock
I love that Sherlockâs accusing Mycroft of enjoying watching him get beat up in prison. For all the pain Sherlock has caused his brother, let him enjoy it a little
YeahâŠâŠ..sheâs pissssssssed at him. Omg sheâs so passive aggressive about it.
Obviously. Youâre bi, John. Happy Pride. Itâs nearly over now
Ok thereâs near NO WAY you could have known thatâŠyou literally just walked in
When we call John unobservantâŠor, well, Sherlock doesâŠthis restaurant scene is the epitome. He wants Johnâs attention SO BAD. And John WILL NOT LOOK AT HIM
The music building as John stands there frozen in anger before he can actually speak
Sherls, girl, you GOTTA learn to read the room. This was not a âlighten the mood by mocking the mustacheâ kind of moment. Heâs very right to throttle you
I donât care. The number of restaurants they get kicked out of is absolutely hilarious. Martin Freemanâs âTHIS BITCHâ face when Sherlock asks John for his help after all the past two years of silence and this entire nightâŠunmatched
Greg just lost a bet with AndersonâŠheâs so happy to see Sherlock
Oh godâŠis this the Sheriarty theory? I wanna befriend that girl. Or at least find her ao3. It ISSSSSSS
God I miss Jim
I wish theyâd done better by Mary. I love how she is in this episode. I love her teasing John about Sherlock
Mycroft getting uncomfortable and offended and insisting Sherlock change the subject when it was suggested that he maybe should have gotten a âgoldfishâ *wink wink nudge nudge* while Sherlock was absent for two years. Itâs giving đ§Ąđđ€đ©”đ ya know? With possibly aplatonic too?
Bitch, fuck you. You played that entire deduction game to insinuate that your extremely aspec older brother is lonely only to then throw it in his face that âhow would you know?â Get the fuck out of here. Look. I know Iâm being a little jokey when I diagnose Mycroft aspec butâŠ.he has the vibes, my dears. I know neither Moffat nor Gatiss would ever confirm it, so itâs all headcanon, but Iâm protective of my aspec headcanons
The way they get around censoring out âfuck off,â it was very good
I have so little interest in the cases Sherlock and Molly are solving
The episodes are better when thereâs one big case or a bunch of small ones but they are explicitly connected from the beginning
Youâre right. Molly does deserve better than you
Oh shit. I forgot this part where Sherlock and Mary have to go save John from brewing burned alive
Aw, happy November 5th (in universe) from six years before that date meant EVERYTHING to tumblr
Itâs nice to see them getting along again
(OMG THERES HALF AN HOUR LEFT. HOW)
Oh. Right. The train caseâŠsee, this is why we need shorter episodes. I forgot about it in the time I was watching it
These stakes are too high and concrete. We need lower or more nebulous stakes. Like, theyâre literally trying to keep Parliament from blowing up by train car bombâŠis this the moment they out the skis on the ramp in order to make the jump fully over the shark?
How does Sherlock have Icelandic sheep wool facts stuffed away but not something useful like diffusing a bomb? Honestly, I donât blame John for not believing this or the apology. I certainly donât believe he doesnât know
I canât believe Anderson is disappointed in the (perhaps) real way Sherlockâs death and resurrection went downâŠexcept maybe not?? Who knows, honestly
It justâŠ.had an off switch?? Wtf? Punch him again. Do it, John.
Maybe itâs not just a degradationâŠperhaps itâs humiliation too.
So Molly has a type. Thereâs nothing wrong with that. She can move on with a guy who looks and dresses like Sherlock as long as he treats her miles better
You know, itâs nice heâs leaning into the deer stalker cap look
Our first look at Magnussen
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Hello, this is what happens when two people who can't shut the fuck up scream at each other about fictional boyfriends. if you're one of my random followers and you actually wanna read this, please enjoy the memery. as for Star, hello <333
Star: Iâm reading this on AO3 â mostly for comfort, tumblrâs post view is weird on the computer â but I just have to say that I LOVE the cover you make for the fanfics !!! theyre so fucking cute and aesthetically pleasing ! The ring is just absolutely gorgeous đ„ș and genuinely suits Gar so much đ„ș
Sunny: Omg thank you <3 I actually work really hard on the covers - maybe I should start putting them on AO3 because I know you can ?? but I usually forget to do it because I think you have to insert them before you copy/paste the text. And like okay - this sounds so weird, but I sometimes get NERVOUS about posting on AO3?? Like the format for posting on there is intimidating, and Iâm like âugh, Iâm gonna forget a tag, Iâm gonna accidentally mark something wrong, the copy/paste isnât gonna workâ and I fret SO HARD for the ten minutes when I am trying to make my AO3 post - as opposed to when I am posting on tumblr. On tumblr, Iâm like âthis is my house, fuckers, HEREâS YOUR PORNâÂ
Star: âYou felt lucky that Doctor Caulder had taken you inâ cracks knuckles where is that piece of shit? âAt the time, Doctor Caulder was a savior to youâ I really do hope his dead, I canât remember the actual show but I think so (?)
Sunny: I am SO GLAD you finally share my beef with Doctor Caulder omg. I hate him so fucking much. (It will get even worse when you watch Season 4.) And for reference, heâs not dead in the show. Idk what happened to his character in Doom Patrol (which I have been wanting to watch so badly because of Titans, but I havenât gotten over the autistic brain hump lmao) but when we leave his character in Titans, Rachel broke his back and left him partially paralyzed, but Cliff said that his back was broken âagainâ so itâs heavily implied that his serum/advanced medical ways can solve that kind of paralyzed state (because inferring - it had happened to him before and he made himself able to walk again with the serum). So there are no consequences for his actions, no death. He gets the notoriety and advanced medical science that he wants by taking advantage of people who are very vulnerable and in need with no where else to turnÂ
Star: âYou had no other options, after allâ This makes me so angry, specially cause its just fucking reality, I think I could write an entire essay on how fucked the US healthcare system is And not to say here things are perfect but WE DO HAVE A UNIVERSAL FREE HEALTH CARE!!! IT'S NOT PERFECT BUT IT'S THERE !! PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR SHIT THEY NEED TO SURVIVE (i don't know much about Canada, which is where I think youâre from, based on context clues, but I'm pretty sure there is a free health care system there too, right?)
Sunny: I am so deeply resisting the urge to go on a long rant about Canadian health care lmao. I am Canadian and because of my chronic illness, I have a very unique perspective on our particular universal health care. Most people just say that our health care is BETTER because itâs free - but itâs really not. There are so many issues - apathetic, undertrained doctors, certain medications and procedures not being covered, people with chronic ânon-emergentâ conditions being pushed back and minimized because our problems are multi-systematic and not easy to solve. Like so much that I CANNOT explain or encapsulate in one short section of this post. But this fic takes place in America, so the whole âmedical debtâ thing is a very obvious plot point to use (and a very realistic one), and their health care is probably overall worse than Canada.Â
Star: âThatâs a really pretty name. It matches youâ I love that Gar is actually a really good flirt, but heâs also his own worst enemy and will second guess himself at every opportunity
Sunny: Gar is that meme âYou look pretty!â âwhat did you say?â âI said you look shitty, goodnight!â - he will flirt with someone, and the second they show any kind of interest back, he gets nervous and immediately backs down from itÂ
Star: âbecause Gar spoke about it with so much enthusiasmâ okay but I can't help picturing Gar and I infodumping about different horror movies to Rachel and Jason cause they know so little about it (Jasonâs reasoning is obvious â but i personally headcanon Rachelâs adoptive mom didn't really let her watch anything that seemed too scary or dark, incase it triggered something in her or her powers)Â
Sunny: Gar is the infodumping KING. I can imagine him just rambling on and on, and he would get Jason to watch his favorite 00s horror movies by telling him thereâs topless scenes lmao (yes, thatâs my JayGar shipper coming out)
Star: âDo you need a kiss from a handsome prince to get it back?â THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT !!!
Sunny: this was such a last minute addition but I recently saw the new little mermaid movie and I was like I HAVE TO ADD THIS
Star: âthe mounting medical debt became too stressful for your parents so they abandoned you and disappeared with no way for creditors to track them downâ WOOOOW TWO CHALLENGERS APPROACH !!! I hope. they're. dead : )
Sunny: tbh in my imagination, theyâre not dead. But I wanted to do something other than the typical âmy parents died and left me alone in the worldâ backstory. Because something like âmy parents abandoned me on purpose and left me alone in the worldâ can be more painful and it can show the importance of a new found familyÂ
Star: âcringed slightly when you heard what sounded like the cracking of bonesâ ⊠why would you make me think about the implications?
Sunny: I said this because this is what the show makes his transformation sound like, but in all honesty, I really donât think that his transformation hurts him! I think that itâs something that feels natural for his body and it doesnât hurt himÂ
Star: âthis was the first time that Gar had ever gone against the man on anythingâ GO STINK, FUCK IT UP ! GO STINK, FUCK IT UP !!
Sunny: I wanted it to be a realistic characterization so that when the show catches up with him and he brings Rachel home - which is very much against the rules, and he tries to attack the Chief because Rachel is scared and wants to stop the process of her âtestâ, it is very realistic. Also: FUCK DOCTOR CAULDER GAR SHOULD BITE HIM
Star: âGar put a hand on your lower backâ am I touched starved, or is this the single most intimate, heart warming casual touch ever ??? âhe leaned down and laid a gentle, timid kiss on your foreheadâ second most heart warming casual touch ever
Sunny: I just kept IMAGINING how comforting Gar would be when youâre not feeling well like omgÂ
Star: âGar snuck out to town and picked up a book on ASLâ AAAAAAAAAAAAA YES HE WOULD, IMMEDIATELY !!!! âhe signed the words âgood morningâ to youâ
Sunny: I am obsessed with the idea that he would work so hard to communicate on someone elseâs level - he would want to understand the person he loves because he would love the feeling of being understood (knowing and being known is one of his love languages)Â
Star: âHe set it up as a gameâ Yeah yeah, yoU KNOW WHAT WAS ALSO A GAME SET UP BY A CREEPY OLD MAN ??? it's Saw, Iâm talking about the Saw movies (iâve never seen them tho, but I think it was an old man right?)
Sunny: Idk if you have seen any of it on my blog, but I am obsessed with the Saw movies. And I think that old man (John Kramer) is infinitely better than Caulder lmaoÂ
Star: âfired up his X-Box so he could teach you how to play Cupheadâ I don't think I have the emotional maturity to play a game like this SKSKKS thing would either get ugly fast OR iâd just cry outta frustrating and give up on it forever (I'm also NOT GOOD AT VIDEO GAMES !! SADLY ;-; I KNOW)
Sunny: itâs a good thing that Cuphead is a co-op game and Gar would be really encouraging about it and he would teach you all the tricks to do well at it so you can beat the enemies together <3Â
Star: âIf Iâve never seen the movie before, I should get a new question!â Iâm willing to side with him on this one, especially if US history is one of the categories KSKSKS cause I'm gonna need that excuse for my turns âTrivia is a test of memoryâ HEâS GOT A POINT !!!
Sunny: hOW DID I KNOW YOU WERE GONNA SIDE WITH JASON HERE
Star: âHave you ever accidentally seen something you regret?â feels like a trick question KSKSKS â her eyebrows knitted tightly, a mixture of confusion and deep thoughtâ THAT one is on us, more context next time yep âI accidentally walked into the bathroom when Jason forgot to lock the door-â NO TIME TO UNPACK, NOPE SKSKSKS LETS KEEP THAT BOX CLOSED FOR NOW
Sunny: how do you know he wasnât singing showtunes in the mirror??? Maybe Rachelâs regret was seeing a GIANT FUCKING NERD in the bathroomÂ
Star: âWhatâs normal for the spider is chaos for the flyâ I LIKE THAT !! Never heard it before either, but I LIKE IT !
Sunny: I donât know where I originally heard this phrase ??? but when I first heard it, I LATCHED onto it, cause I am a freak weirdo (like I never wear pants because I donât find them comfortable, if I have to go in public, I literally ONLY wear dresses/skirts and people think I am a weirdo for it) and like so many things about me are not ânormalâ but I always wanna be like âthis is MY version of normalâ. Same for so many other peopleÂ
Star: âYou didnât bother with socks or slippersâ Iâd rather die KSKSKKS SORRY TO BE SUCH A SOCK SNOB, BUT I WOULD RATHER DIE
Sunny: okay but ME TOO??!! I ALWAYS wear slippers, idk, it was just something random in the original draftÂ
Star: âAnd he was quite a sight to behold⊠nothing but a pair of black boxing gloves and black sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hipsâ yeah đ„”𫣠âHe was pounding awayâŠâ hELLO â...at the heavy punching bagâ oH âslight bit of pubic hair where he hadnât properly tied up his sweatpantsâ dear lord âIt swung around freely as he worked, punching hard at the weight bagâ and itâd be a damn crime to keep it contained
Sunny: this entire section of the fic is what I like to call âthe female gazeâ. Look at Gar with my slutty slutty feminine eyes and slutting him up the way that a female character would be examined in a piece of work that a man wrote. And I had SO MUCH FUN writing itÂ
Star: âIf you came to train, donât let me bother you. Apparently thatâs all I am to you latelyâ WOOOOOOW ALRIGHT JESUS â„ïž HERE ! JUST KEEP IT, NOW THAT YOU FINISHED RIPPING IT OUT (not uncalled for but GODDAMN)
Sunny: I really wanted Gar to come off as broken down and defeated because he is the type of person to be emotionally bruised and LONELY. He gets sad boy and upset if his friends donât give him the right attention/enough attentionÂ
Star: âhe was taking off the boxing gloves, throwing them somewhere on the floorâ which is SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFICULT TO DO WITH BOTH OF THEM ON !! I always have to use my teeth on the first one đ
Sunny: I LITERALLY DID NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS?!?! CAN YOU TELL THAT I HAVE NEVER GONE ANYWHERE NEAR A GYM IN MY L I F EÂ
Star: âUtmostâ I'm embarrassed to say that genuinely I thought for years that it was UPmost (https://www.tiktok.com/@favclipsnewgirl/video/7128101049117789445 ⊠what is an âutâ? Nick is right)
Sunny: okay but this is me. I used to think it was âlick a gift horse in the mouthâ when the real one is: âlook a gift horse in the mouthâ and I was like WHY ARE WE LICKING HORSES (and I am a native English speaker)Â
Star: âYou didnât think his growling would ever be so sexy to youâ WELLâ ONE OF US CAN SAY THAT (Iâve thought about it extensively)
Sunny: the original version of this is one of the first Gar fics I ever wrote, and this is where the growling thing started for me lmaoÂ
Star: âvaguely aware of the fact that there was probably a camera somewhere in the roomâ well lets hope Jason is the one on security room duty tonight and not Grayson đ«ą
Sunny: THIS NEEDS TO BE ITS OWN FIC. like omg I can so perfectly imagine Jason being in the security room because Dick wants him to wade through a bunch of files (really tedious shit) and then Jason starts going through the cameras out of boredom, and he sees THAT happening in the training room and he starts watching and touching himself and then later he just says the most âlittle shitâ thing to Gar like âyou know thereâs cameras in thereâ and AAAAH I need to write this soonÂ
Star: âHe soon brought a whole new definition to the words âeating pussyââ this is another subject I could write an entire essay about⊠ooooohhhh ranking the titans from best to worst head (we must discuss this in length, I beg you please)
Sunny: I need to do an in-depth post about what I think their kinks are, describing their dicks for the guys, and ranking all of them on sexual performance and whether they enjoy giving or receiving more (which might fall under kinks? idk)Â
Star: âYouâre so fucking perfect. Fuck, Y/N.â OKAY I HAVE THE FUCKING YN NAME CHANGER EXTENSION ON MY LAPTOP AND YOU DONT USE YN THAT OFTEN, I FORGOT IT WAS ON AND THIS HAD MY REAL LEGAL NAME ON IT !! I NEED YOU TO THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS NOWÂ
Sunny: THIS IS WHY THE INTERACTIVE FICS EXTENSION PAYS OFF. the girlies who say âusing y/n is cringeâ THEY DONâT KNOW WHAT THEYâRE FUCKIN MISSING
Star: âWas he seriously saying that he didnât love you?â on all levels except physical, I am bonking their heads together âThese were Garâs last words to you before you stormed out of the training roomâ IM GONNA KILL THEM PLEASE !!!!
Sunny: this genuinely made me laugh snort omg. They NEED their fucking heads bonked togetherÂ
Star: âate your pussy like it was his fucking jobâ it is
Sunny: TRUE
Star: ââWe donât get days off, Garâ Dick pressed ââ and you need to stop making yourself my enemy
Sunny: one of these days I am going to write enemies to lovers with Dick where the reader calls him out on all his BS and then edges him until he cries and we will finally have our revengeÂ
Star: âDo you really think some psychotic asshole is gonna care if you have a little headache while theyâre trying to kill you?â he remains the worst, friendship with Grayson over, again⊠whereâs Hank when you need him?
Sunny: WHERE IS HANK I MISS HIMMM. Like the whole time I was writing this I was thinking about how Dawn and the reader would get along so well because theyâre both soft and sweet and Dawn canonically knows ASL
Dreaming Of You
Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader
Part Two: Our Past, Our Present, Our Future
Summary:
After having an argument with Gar that nearly ends your friendship, you decide to finally get over your fear of using your own powers and finally embrace them. If you do things just right, you could finally get everything that you (and Gar) have ever wanted.
Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Smut, (Slight) Angst and Fluff. Set during Season 2.
Word Count: 18,000
Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist
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List of detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: general emotional angst (due to the reader and Gar having emotional distance from having an argument at the end of the other chapter), (very light) canon level violence, mentions of medical experimentation/medical torture, the reader character has medical trauma from years of illness, mentions of medical debt, manipulation and emotional abuse (from Doctor Caulder toward Gar and the reader), mentions of burns/burn scarring, mention of the reader being abandoned by her parents, mentions of vomit (no graphic descriptions), the reader character has a seizure, (likely) improper first aid performed for a seizure, the reader has chronic illness/chronic pain, use of prescription medication, the reader is more feminine (wears lacy underwear), the reader has a vagina and uses she/her pronouns.Â
This chapter contains smut - both dream fantasies and played out sexual acts. The reader character is mute but all consent is enthusiastic and clear, biting/marking kink, some dirty talk, semi-public sex (having sex in the communal area of a house - also, coincidentally, the sex fic I have read where characters have sex in a space that just happens to have a camera in it), scent kink, oral - reader receiving, multiple orgasms (reader receiving), (slight) overstimulation (reader receiving), hair pulling kink (Gar receiving), itâs implied that the reader and Gar are virgins but itâs not lingered on and itâs not a plot point of the fic, unprotected sex, creampie, penis in vagina sex, rough sex, (idk how to phrase it?) marriage kink/commitment kink, passionate sex/love making, Gar calls the reader âwifeâ (in a fantasy sequence), some mentions of blood (the reader scratches Garâs back and draws blood by accident), I believe thatâs it.Â
A/N: This turned out way longer than I intended. But I love it and I really hope that you guys do too!!
...
After the argument, you didnât see Gar for the rest of the day.Â
When Dick came in to check on your progress with training, he immediately questioned why Gar was missing. You made up a lame excuse about how he had been feeling sick (which had to be translated to Dick by Jason) and Dick complained that all of you had to learn to âwork throughâ things like illness, but at least he didnât question why Gar had locked himself in his room for the rest of the night and didnât come to dinner.Â
After you had washed the dishes and sulked through the rest of your nightly routine, you considered knocking on Garâs bedroom door before finally going to bed yourself - but you just couldnât bring yourself to face him.Â
You had truly hurt him, and you werenât sure how you were going to recover from it.Â
As you laid in bed that night, so strung up with guilt that you couldnât sleep, you stared at the ceiling. Of course, all you could think about was Gar.Â
You thought back to when you had first met him - going over those first days of your friendship in your mind. The undeniable way that the two of you were drawn so close together. In friendship or in that unutterable, constantly denied romance - the two of you were soulmates.Â
And you had fucked it all up.Â
You missed your best friend so badly. You wondered where it had all gone so wrong.Â
âŠÂ
You felt lucky that Doctor Caulder had taken you in.Â
Before him, before the serum, your last chance at moving out of the palliative care ward would have been offering your body as a live cadaver up for experiential treatment. It was something that might have put a dent in your medical debts, but it also would have meant a lot of pain and torture as your body was used as a trial for vastly experimental medicine and treatments - none of which were guaranteed to prolong your life as the deadly brain tumors grew to consume your brain, seemingly trapping you in a loop of pain and torture for those last few years that you had.Â
At the time, Doctor Caulder was a savior to you.Â
He used the money he had from his dense inherited wealth to pay off all of the medical debt you had acquired from your lifetime of illness, giving you only one very small catch in the face of this intense generosity. He wanted your consent to try out his serum on you, claiming that it would either do nothing to change your condition, or it would be the magical cure-all that you had been looking for.Â
(He conveniently let out the fact that in your state of unwellness, with your weakened body, there was a large possibility that the serum could overwhelm your senses, stopping your heart - but that was a risk he was more than willing to take.)Â
Honestly - while you didnât believe him - you couldnât bring yourself to turn him down.Â
You had no other options, after all.Â
After he injected you with the serum and you woke up with your sight fully restored, you were shocked. It had somehow shrunk down the tumor in your brain enough that it was no longer pressing on your optic nerve, and you could once again experience the world in full, glorious vision.Â
It was something you were entirely excited by as you arrived at what would be your new home. Doctor Caulder had described it as a âvacuum of scientific advancement against the bureaucracy of the worldâ. Naturally, you had expected some kind of cold looking industrial building, another medical center that you would be trapped inside for years to come.Â
You certainly hadnât thought that it would be a sprawling, gorgeous Victorian mansion in the secluded, peaceful countryside.Â
He brought you inside and set down your bag. You were too busy marveling at the details of the architecture, the stunning antique decorations, taking it all in after years of being deprived of sight to truly notice anyone else in the building at first.Â
You didnât notice anyone else there until Doctor Caulder spoke to him.Â
âAh, Garfield, Iâm glad I caught you.âÂ
You turned at the sound of someoneâs name being called. Caulder had warned you that you would be living with several other people - people who he had helped and was continuing to help with their âunique conditionsâ.Â
When you looked over at him, the person that Doctor Caulder had called Garfield, the only truly unique thing you spotted about him was his bright green hair. That, and the fact that he was startlingly attractive.Â
Garfield paused his footing halfway down the hallway as Doctor Caulder spoke to him. When he turned back around to give the man his attention, you noticed that he had a candy bar poking out of his mouth as he held it there between his teeth, and a pair of large headphones over his ears with some kind of handheld gaming system in his hands. He reached up and moved one half of the headphones off to the side when he realized his full attention was needed. Then he bit off the candy bar, moving to shove the rest of it, mostly still wrapped, into the pocket of his large green hoodie.Â
âWhatâs up, Chief?â He asked, his mouth obviously stuck together by the candy and some chocolate slightly smeared on the side of his mouth.Â
âGarfield, please donât talk with your mouth full.â Caulder - apparently the Chief, quickly scolded him.Â
You guessed that he found it rude because he was more uptight and proper, more old fashioned. But it was something that you easily found adorable and charming.Â
Garfield hung his head in shame and made a clear effort to swallow, running his tongue over his teeth to somewhat clean his mouth before he spoke again.Â
âSorry.â He mumbled quietly. âDid you need something?âÂ
It was then that he really eyed you up and down, as though he had just noticed you standing there.Â
You felt entirely out of place, but tried your best not to look nervous, and simply smiled as his eyes landed on your face. You noticed a small tinge of pink come over his cheeks when he finally made eye contact with you. His eyes made a quick jolt back to the carpet, obviously nervous and not wanting to linger on you.Â
âIâm sure youâve heard Cliff mention my newest patient.â Doctor Caulder told him, gently motioning toward you. âY/N will be staying with us for the foreseeable future while I explore her condition and any affects the serum has had on her.âÂ
Garfield nodded at this. The wild tendrils of his green hair bobbed in a very adorable way with the motion, and you suppressed a giggle because of it.Â
âIâll need you to show her around and help her get settled in for now, because I need to go up to my office and work on some notes while everything is still fresh in my mind. Iâd like not to be disturbed for the next few hours, is that clear?â Doctor Caulder ordered, his voice calm, but oddly stern.Â
Garfieldâs face twisted slightly into a frown, as though he was afraid of the possible consequences if he did disturb the man. But nonetheless, he nodded once again.Â
âUnderstood.â He said simply.Â
Doctor Caulder gave him a curt nod and then walked up the stairs, leaving you in the hands of your seemingly meek, very handsome tour guide.Â
He stepped toward you, and then realized the game console was still beeping in his hands. So he pushed a few buttons, shutting it off, and then he shoved it into his pocket as well before he slid his large headphones to sit around his neck.Â
âHi, Iâm Garfield. You probably heard that. But you can just call me Gar. I prefer it.â He rushed these words out in a puff of air, seemingly still very nervous to be in your presence.Â
You nodded at this. Before you could communicate in any way that you wouldnât really be âcallingâ him anything because of your mutism, he let out a huff - something akin to a nervous laugh and steamed rolled right into more conversation. He didnât really seem to mind your silence.Â
âY/N, right?â He posed, easily remembering your name from when Doctor Caulder had introduced you.Â
You nodded once again, giving him a small smile.Â
âThatâs a really pretty name. It matches you. I mean- I-â He stumbled over his words, clearly nervous that he had unintentionally said something flirtatious. âIâm supposed to introduce you to everyone, right? Come on.âÂ
He then took you on a tour of the sprawling house, his chatter filling the air in a most perfect way. The more he talked, the more he seemed to gain confidence around you. He became filled with energy, fueled by the things he was saying. Especially when he spoke about the house and the daily life that he lived there, pointing out the different rooms and where you could make yourself comfortable. His words filled the space so well that he didnât seem to notice the fact that you couldnât talk.Â
As he took you on the tour, you came across the different eclectic members of the household and Gar introduced you to them. And you very quickly came to realize what Doctor Caulder had meant by âunique conditionsâ.Â
If you didnât have your vision freshly restored in order to see it, you likely wouldnât have believed it. But they were very real.Â
Gar introduced you to Cliff - someone who looked more like a machine than a man, squeaky joints and all. But it quickly became apparent to you that he had a shining personality underneath all that metal, and his humanity wasnât easily defined by something like rust and bolts. He was working on a half-disassembled car in the large garage, and Gar explained to you how the mostly mechanical man was an ex-racer who had gotten into a bad accident and been put back together by The Chief.Â
He then introduced you to Larry - who was in the kitchen, baking some kind of very tall, very impressive multi-layered cake (apparently in celebration of your arrival). He made a comment about you âbeing rather quietâ and you just shrugged. They would probably be amused later when they found out why.Â
Larry didnât want to comment much or explain the reason that his entire body was covered in bandages, and you understood why. In your mind, you assumed that he had been badly burned and the bandages covered some kind of scarring. The visual reminded you of people who had passed through the palliative care ward with severe burns over their bodies and didnât survive long because of it. But he seemed to move without pain and he was obviously thriving, so whatever Doctor Caulder had done for him - it had worked.Â
Gar tried to introduce you to the last member of the household - Rita - but when he knocked on her bedroom door, he was met with silence. He simply told you that she likely wasnât feeling well. And that you understood deeply as well.Â
The house tour extended down into the basement, because Gar was very excited to show you his room. You couldnât bring yourself to disrupt his rolling speech or dampen down his swell of excitable energy.Â
He was showing you some of his movie posters - something for a movie called Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. It was a movie you had never heard of before, and you only found yourself truly paying attention in order to learn about it now because Gar spoke about it with so much enthusiasm.Â
â-itâs considered one of the first examples of parody ever in cinema, an effort to take horror, something that truly terrified audiences at the time, and turn it comedic. Like shining a light on that monster under the bed so heâs no longer scary. Itâs brilliant.âÂ
Gar rambled on, his breath almost entirely escaping him as his enthusiasm overpowered his lungs.Â
You couldnât help but to feel a swell of fondness as you looked at him.Â
His passion was so intensely palpable, it gave you goosebumps. It was a very old film that you likely wouldnât have taken an interest in. But the way he talked about it - like it was revolutionary, like it was the most interesting thing in the world. It made you want to watch it ten times just to get to know him better, just to have a small taste of the passion that he felt so epically for it.Â
You didnât know it then, but feeling his overwhelming enthusiasm spreading in the air was the beginnings of your very intense crush on him. It was the moment that you started falling for him.Â
âYou know originally, Lou Costello scoffed at the idea of even making-â Gar suddenly cut himself off, a look of dawning crossing his features. âWoah, Iâve been talking for such a long time, havenât I?âÂ
Technically, yes.Â
But you would have been perfectly content to stand there and listen to him talk for hours more about this film or any of the others related to posters that he had on the wall. His enthusiasm and the way it was backed up by factual knowledge made him endlessly interesting to listen to.Â
In response, you simply shrugged.Â
Yes, he had been talking for a long time. But - you enjoyed listening. His tone and the abrupt way he had cut himself off made it sound like he had burdened you with his ramblings, and you werenât sure why.Â
âSorry.â He giggled, scratching the back of his neck nervously. âIâm probably being so annoying. I havenât even let you talk about yourself at all. What - what kind of movies do you like?âÂ
He seemed nervous suddenly, as though he had become self conscious in the conversation.Â
You filled with nerves as well, coming to the realization that you would now have to communicate to him that you couldnât talk.Â
You motioned toward your throat, hoping he would be able to see the scar from the surgery that had stolen your ability to speak so long ago. Rather than understanding, Garâs face knit with confusion.Â
âWhat, did the sea witch steal your voice?â He asked. The action reminded him a lot of that cartoon mermaid, desperately tapping on her throat, trying to explain to others why she couldnât speak. âDo you need a kiss from a handsome prince to get it back?âÂ
The words escaped him before he could stop it - and then he realized that it sounded entirely more flirtatious than he intended.Â
He bit his lip nervously and you let out a giggle. You became entirely overwhelmed by your own nerves, and your undeniable attraction toward him. If you were feeling at all bold, you might have leaned over and kissed him in that moment. But something in the back of your mind told you that it was rude - that he hadnât truly meant it, that it was strange to come onto him so soon after meeting him.Â
When the awkwardness swelled inside of him, he rushed to speak again.Â
âSorry,â He blurted out. âThat was probably insensitive. If youâre really mute, thatâs like a disability, and you shouldnât make jokes about peopleâs disabilities-âÂ
You vigorously shook your head, meaning to tell him that âno, I liked the jokeâ.Â
But his eyes instantly grew wide, believing that you were shaking your head negatively, believing that he was truly being insensitive and rude.Â
You raised your hands and began explaining it in sign language, and he sighed in defeat.Â
âIâm sorry.â He said. âI donât - I donât understand.âÂ
Then, a look of dawning came over his face so strong it was almost as if a cartoon lightbulb appeared over his head. He then rushed into the other room - there was some ripping of paper (what you didnât know was him ripping pages he had used out of a notebook so that you wouldnât see them). After a moment, he rushed back toward you, thrusting a notebook and a pen in your direction.Â
You took it happily, and began writing.Â
âYes, I am completely mute. Yes, it is technically a disability. And yes, I did think your joke about the sea witch was funny. But⊠I donât think a kiss from a prince will fix me.âÂ
You passed it to him and after he read it, he gave a small chuckle.Â
âYeah, that wasnât so smooth on my part.â He said. âWhat happened? To your voice?âÂ
You explained it to him. You spent a long time passing the notebook back and forth, explaining things to him about yourself and your life.Â
You told him how you had been ill for as long as you could remember, and it had only gotten worse as you progressed into your teen years. And eventually, the mounting medical debt became too stressful for your parents so they abandoned you and disappeared with no way for creditors to track them down. They had left you orphaned in the most cruel way.Â
Garâs eyes danced with tears when he read this. You didnât know it then, but he vowed to himself that he would always be by your side. He would be the one person who never left you, no matter what happened in life that might try to draw the two of you apart.Â
âCan I ask you something?â You scrawled out, passing the notebook to Gar with careful curiosity on your mind.Â
âYeah, anything.â He replied.Â
âWhy are you here? What is Doctor Caulder helping you with?âÂ
You were tempted to add on something about how he âlooked normalâ - but you didnât want to accidentally insult him.Â
âMy condition⊠itâs uhâŠâ Gar stuttered through his attempt at an explanation, and confusion flooded your features. âItâs probably just easier if I show you?âÂ
You nodded in acknowledgement that you understood, and Gar put the notebook aside and stood from the couch where the two of you had been seated, talking for hours.Â
âWould you - uh - would you mind closing your eyes for a second?â He asked, once again draped in that nervous energy.Â
You hesitated for a second, but then complied. You werenât sure how him âshowingâ you would go if you had your eyes closed. But you trusted him to harness in that condition - whatever strange ability the serum had given and not let it hurt you. You felt safe around him even though you had only known him for a short time. And you wanted to make him comfortable rather than arguing about it.Â
You were curious when you heard some gentle rustling, and you cringed slightly when you heard what sounded like the cracking of bones. You hoped that whatever he was doing, it didnât cause him any pain.Â
Your curiosity became too great and you opened your eyes when you heard a low rumbling. If you werenât mistaken, it sounded like the purring of a very large cat.Â
Shock instantly overtook you when you opened your eyes to see that standing in front of you in the middle of the carpet - rather than Gar - there was a very large tiger with bright green fur. When your sight had been restored, you never, ever thought that this would be one of the first things you would get to see.Â
Your first instinct was to pull your feet up onto the couch, and the tiger - which you quickly had to reason was Gar, who had somehow shifted his body into a different form - hung his head in shame when he saw the fear overtake your body. You didnât want to be afraid of him. You shouldnât be, right? He had been nothing but kind to you since the two of you had met. He wouldnât use this odd power to endanger you.Â
When you looked into those large animal eyes, you saw nothing but kindness. And you couldnât resist the urge to step off the couch and lean out, petting a hand gently under his furry chin.Â
It was then that you were struck with the realization. The dream you had of being married to a large green tiger - it had likely meant something.Â
But you couldnât bring yourself to linger on it.Â
Instead, you scratched under his chin and he purred, and you giggled at the fact that such a large, possibly terrifying animal was so docile under your touch.Â
(When Gar transformed back, you would deny that you snuck a glance at him changing back into his clothes. And you would definitely deny that you became obsessed with what you saw.)Â
âŠÂ
Later that night, you met Rita when she came down to join everyone for dinner. She was a lovely, sweet woman. She was actually the only person (aside from Doctor Caulder) at the table who understood your ASL, though she didnât seem eager to explain where she had learned it. You knew that everyone in the house had somewhat of a painful past, so you didnât bother to ask.Â
The cake Larry had made turned out beautiful. A towering masterpiece that everyone had to purposefully crane their necks around as they spoke to each other. You couldnât help but marvel in wonder at it and the rest of the amazing spread he had made. Gar told you that it really wasnât that out of the ordinary, seeing as cooking was Larryâs favorite hobby.Â
You felt slightly bad for Cliff - seeing as he sat with an empty plate in front of him. But he seemed to show up to the meal mostly out of habit, family obligation, and a slight curiosity to get to know you. So you tried your best to answer everyoneâs questions and be welcoming to the new friendships.Â
You enjoyed the meal well. Everything was delicious, and compared to the food you once ate on the ward - it was heaven. Everything seemed to be going perfectly.Â
Larry cut the cake and made sure that you got the first slice - which you selected from the towering variety of many different flavors. He cited that he didnât know what your favorite flavor was, so he made a good variety as insurance. The taste of lemon was sweet on your tongue and you were enjoying yourself - when one of the lights began flickering.Â
It was just a few flashes above your head, just for a few moments, but it was enough to send a sharp pain shooting through the middle of your forehead and instantaneously cause a wave of nausea through your stomach. You dropped your fork onto your plate with a clatter, and everyone craned their necks around the towering cake to look at you. Gar immediately got up from his chair to rush to your side, wondering what was wrong.Â
âAre you okay?â He asked quietly.Â
Your senses were overwhelmed by dizziness, a horrid feeling that your eyes were churning inside of your skull. Sharp waves of pain radiated out from the middle of your forehead and seemingly caused the world to turn wildly underneath your feet.Â
You didnât know that the harsh unwellness was visible all over your face - from your unpleasant expression to the light layer of sweat that had so quickly formed over your skin.Â
You shook your head, attempting to confirm to him that you were not okay. But this only caused the pain to worsen, and you held back a harsh gag, trying your hardest to keep the amazing dinner inside.Â
âYou need to lay down.â Gar said quietly.Â
You felt safe under his touch and you let him guide you as he pulled out your chair. He put one hand around your back and used the other to take your hand as he helped you up and guided you away. You let your eyes fall closed against the harsh light as his hand came to rest on your waist, a calming comfort against the harsh pain throbbing through you. You let yourself lean on him for support as he did as promised - took you to lay down.Â
You were partway up the stairs when a voice disrupted you.Â
âGarfield.âÂ
Doctor Caulder called after him harshly, causing Gar to pause his movements. You leaned on the bannister and kept your eyes closed. You had to concentrate hard on willing yourself not to vomit while Gar was distracted with the conversation.Â
âThis is an important opportunity to study her condition, you should be taking her to-â Caulder began to argue against Garâs actions, but he was cut off.Â
âShe needs to lay down.â Gar argued quietly. âSheâs had a long day. She needs rest. You can do your studies tomorrow.âÂ
You didnât know it, but this was the first time that Gar had ever gone against the man on anything. Doctor Caulder stood there in shock at Garâs sudden shift in attitude while Gar put a hand on your lower back once again and helped you the rest of the way up the stairs.Â
He helped you into bed and pulled the covers over you. And then he got a hot cloth to put on your forehead, and got a bucket to put beside the bed in case you did throw up. It was then that you knew you would never feel properly cared for again unless it came from him.Â
When he thought that you werenât paying attention, half sleepy and half drowned in the pain, he leaned down and laid a gentle, timid kiss on your forehead, right above the cloth.Â
âŠ
Later that night, after everyone had fallen asleep, Gar snuck out to town and picked up a book on ASL. He was especially careful that his teeth didnât pierce any of the pages.Â
He used the rest of the night to study, and he greeted you the next morning with a tray of gentle breakfast food (porridge, hopefully something that wouldnât aggravate your upset stomach) and Advil. Despite the pain throbbing through your head, you broke into a beaming smile when he signed the words âgood morningâ to you.Â
It was then that you realized just how much you were going to have to suppress your feelings for him.Â
âŠÂ
Later in the day, Doctor Caulder was carrying out his tests as promised.Â
He had you in a different part of the basement - in an area that essentially looked like an operating room. Just seeing the tables and all the cold medical equipment triggered a lot of your fight or flight instincts, but you tried your hardest to remain calm. Especially because Gar was by your side, even though he likely could have been playing video games or doing something else a lot more fun. He told you that he would stay by you the entire time to make sure that you were comfortable.Â
You tried to relax and trust the process.Â
Doctor Caulder had adjusted the table, propping up the top of it so that it was much more like a chair. And he had wheeled in a large machine that consisted of a series of lightbulbs - something that turned out to be a strobe light, set to make specific patterns. He had taped several electrical probes to your head, ones connected to an EEG machine. Although he knew that this procedure was likely to trigger a seizure, he said that it was important for it to occur because your neurological problems were closely tied to your powers, and the areas of the brain that the serum had affected. He said that it was something important to measure - even if a seizure happened.Â
âJust face forward, and keep looking into the light.â Doctor Caulder explained. âIt will go through a series of flashing patterns. I need you to try your hardest to keep your eyes open, and stay focused. Itâs important that we record your brain activity while this is happening without disruption.âÂ
You nodded in affirmation. You werenât looking forward to the pain that it would cause considering that your head was still thumping with a migraine from the night before, but if he considered it necessary, you would do it.Â
âAre you sure this is a good idea?â Gar asked. âHow do you know this isnât just gonna cause more harm?âÂ
He was standing beside the table, holding your hand, and you were entirely grateful for his presence there.Â
He had seen the way you had reacted to a relatively dim chandelier bulb flickering at dinner the night before. He thought that this would be disastrous.Â
âGarfield, if you continue to question me, then Iâll have to ask you to leave.â Doctor Caulder told him curtly. âYou canât keep disrupting the process like this. We need to move forward.âÂ
Doctor Caulder glared at Gar, giving him a moment to make his choice. To see if he was going to speak up and argue or remain quiet. Gar looked to you, wanting to see if you were truly okay with all of this. Nerves boiled in your stomach, but you feigned a smile, and squeezed his hand tighter, assuring him that you needed him there - right by your side.Â
Gar then nodded at Doctor Caulder, who stood behind the machine with the lights and turned it on. Gar flinched hard against the lights as they began to flicker. He turned his head away and closed his eyes, but he kept a tight hold on your hand.Â
Though it went against every screaming, pained nerve in your body, especially the ones pulsing through your head - you fought to keep your eyes open. Your carefully tuned hearing picked up on the scribbling needles of the EEG machine, Garâs breathing. You could even hear the electricity sizzling in the bulbs as they went through three long flashes and then turned off. Three long flashes, and then off.Â
You survived the first pattern well before it switched to two quick flashes and then a period of seemingly prolonged darkness - something that wasnât any more than three whole seconds in reality.Â
The moment that it switched to the intense, rapid strobing - you felt it. The tingling in your hands, the dizzying haze that said you were only moments away from having a seizure.Â
You had no time to warn either of them, especially considering that this was the first seizure you had post-serum, and it had unexpected size effects.Â
As your muscles became tight and your body began to violently seize, the house itself began to quake around you. It was as though the building were at the epicenter of a violent earthquake. Later, Doctor Caulder would come to the conclusion that your seizures now caused ârapid bursts of psychic energyâ to be released from you, completely uncontrolled by you. He realized that you would be needed to put on a high dose seizure medication to prevent any further incidents.Â
In those moments, though, it was chaos.Â
Between the shaking of the house underneath you and the unpredictable seizing of your muscles, you quickly rolled off the table. Gar easily caught you in a momentâs notice. Across the room, Doctor Caulder made a similar movement - reaching urgently to catch the EEG machine before it fell off of its own table.Â
When the quaking stopped, and you were left quivering in Garâs arms, he couldnât help but to feel a rush of disappointment as he saw the obvious play out before his eyes - Doctor Caulder was far more eager to save his data, to preserve the research that you had given him than to actually take care of you - his patient who was clearly in need.Â
âWhat was that?â Gar breathed out, looking from your unconscious face to the surrounding room. He didnât think that it was a large coincidence that an earthquake had struck at the exact same time as your seizure and had lasted exactly as long.Â
âI believe that her powers were responsible for that.â Doctor Caulder theorized. âWeâll likely have to do more research to fully comprehend it-âÂ
He abruptly cut off his own words when the scribbling needles of the EEG machine stopped.Â
Gar began peeling the probes off your forehead and Doctor Caulder only looked up toward you when the EEG flatlined as it was disconnected.Â
âGarfield, what do you think youâre doing?â Caulder barked at him.Â
âWeâre done right now.â Gar said, his voice choked off by his anger. âClearly, this isnât helping. She needs rest.âÂ
Gar resisted the urge to say more. He resisted the urge to berate Doctor Caulder for harming you. He resisted the urge to swear. He resisted the urge to threaten to run away with you - taking away Doctor Caulderâs precious source of research so that the two of you would never be seen again.Â
He had no clue that his anger was so intense that it flared up in his eyes, threatened to invoke his transformation against his will.Â
He felt calmer when he looked down at you, and petted a hand across your forehead. Although you were forced into unconsciousness because of the seizure, you looked peaceful and calm with your face so still, your eyes closed and your muscles finally relaxed. He hoped that you would feel better soon.Â
That was the day Doctor Caulder decided to start keeping a tranq gun near the operating table.Â
âŠÂ
Things were quiet for a few days after that.Â
Doctor Caulder said that he needed time to go over the results of the EEG, and he didnât want to induce anymore seizures in you for fear that it might bring down the house. So he did let you rest.Â
But in the interim, he didnât check up on you or attend to any of your medical needs. He locked himself in his office to contemplate the science of it all while Gar stuck by your side. He held the bucket and rubbed your back while you puked, he held a hot cloth to your forehead when you needed it. He held a spoon up to your lips to feed you because your hands were too weak after being rocked by such a harsh seizure.Â
After a few days, you were almost thankful to Doctor Caulder for it. You and Gar were growing incredibly close so quickly because he refused to leave your side, and you had never felt so lucky to have someone like him in your life.Â
You hesitated when Doctor Caulder called you into his office upstairs.Â
He made a poor apology for the incident with the lights. He said that he was sorry for causing you pain, but it was ânecessaryâ to explore your condition, to map your brain and find out how the serum had affected you.Â
He said that the next step would be further exploring your strange powers. The powers you had accidentally discovered while transitioning out of the hospital. When one of the nurses had been attending to you, you had looked into her eyes, and you couldnât even fully identify the feeling at the time. But suddenly, you knew this shocking, painful information. One of the other patients on the ward who you had come to know as a friend wasnât going to live much longer. And when you had asked the nurse about it, she had accused you of snooping, reading through files - because the information was supposed to be confidential.Â
But Doctor Caulder - who had witnessed the conversation - easily saw it for what it truly was. An unnatural power given to you by his serum.Â
He then called Gar into his office as well - someone you obviously trusted and could work well with.Â
He set it up as a game.Â
He had written down several things on flashcards. You and Gar would sit across from each other, and Gar would read one of the flashcards, fully capturing the idea in his mind. And then you would use your powers to try and push into his mind - figuring out what was on the card without him ever speaking a single word or giving any hints.Â
As you sat across from him, preparing to begin, you were incredibly hesitant.Â
âAre you sure about this?âÂ
You wrote this as a message to Gar on one of the blank index cards. They were intended for you to write the answers that you retrieved from his mind during the âgameâ. You intentionally held back with the message, not fully describing your worries. You wanted to ask if he was okay with you breaching the privacy of his mind, but you were worried about Doctor Caulder seeing it, because you knew the man didnât like to be questioned.Â
You flipped it around to show Gar, and he simply nodded after he read it.Â
âYeah, Iâm fine.â Gar assured you with a smile. âItâs just a game, right?â He grinned. âItâll be fun.âÂ
You didnât quite think so. But you tried to take on his positive attitude.Â
âLetâs begin.â Caulder said. He was standing behind Gar in a very imposing manner, reading the cards as well to ensure that he didnât flub the answers just to please the Doctor.Â
Gar picked up the first card and read it, and he concentrated on it for a moment, making sure that the idea was focused in his mind. He gave a small nod, and then looked up toward you, knowing that he had to make steady eye contact with you in order for you to use your powers.Â
Pushing past your discomfort, you did as you had been instructed. You stared deep into those big beautiful brown eyes, and you purposefully breached the surface into his mind. The first thing you were met with was a rich visual of several golden retriever puppies frolicking in a field of grass, happily yipping and prancing around, almost tripping over their clumsy new feet.Â
You soon withdrew - even though it was a happy scene that gave you joy, you knew that you had the answer. You had an unconscious grin on your face, and that easily made Gar giggle as you flipped over the message you had made to him and wrote down your answer on the other side.Â
âPuppiesâ
You lifted up the card and showed it to Doctor Caulder, who took a glance down at the card in Garâs hand (which said âDOGâ). He nodded at you, his stern face not flexing for a moment to show any sign of positivity. He picked up a clipboard from a small table on the chair beside Gar and began furiously scribbling.Â
âContinue.â He said, not looking up from his fast paced notes.Â
Gar looked down at the next card, took the same moment of concentration, and then looked back at you with a small grin on his face.Â
This time, rather than feeling like you were committing some kind of crime or doing him a grand disservice, you looked into his eyes and pushed into his mind with a gleeful joy - as though the two of you were sharing a delightful secret.Â
The next rich visual you saw featured Gar himself. He wore a pair of tight jeans and a leather jacket with some red tee shirt underneath, and he walked up to a red car - a very fancy, vintage looking car. He opened the door, got inside, and adjusted the mirror to look at himself before he stomped on the gas pedal and the car sped away with a screech. It was a very âcool guyâ moment, something that made you giggle because of the stereotypical absurdity of it.Â
When you drifted back into the real world, you went to the next index card, and had more of a difficult time figuring out how to phrase your answer.Â
You went with:
âDriving a car?âÂ
When you held it up to show Doctor Caulder, he checked Garâs card, which simply said âCARâ. He frowned, and you thought that you had gotten the answer wrong.Â
âYou have to concentrate more, Garfield.â Caulder scolded him.Â
Garâs face dropped into a frown, and it made your chest twinge with sourness. You thought that a face as sweet as his should never have to frown.Â
âYou got it right.â He told you quietly, before flipping to the next one.Â
You nodded. You hated the way that Caulder treated him. If you could scream at the man, you would.Â
Gar waffled for a few moments, looking at the card with blank eyes before he then looked up at you. There was a slight glassiness swimming there that told you he was ready to cry, along with the hesitation of a quivering lip. You wanted to end the entire exercise and simply retreat to the basement to play video games with him, but you knew that Caulder likely wouldnât let you get away with that.Â
So you continued.Â
You used your powers once again, purposefully entering Garâs mind.Â
You were surprised by the scene you were met with.Â
It was a vision of you and Gar - it was almost like a beautiful painting, like a fantastic daydream.Â
You were off in some grassy field, seemingly the same place the puppies had been. Lush greenery, boundless blue skies, warm sunshine that you could almost feel tingling against your skin. The two of you were holding hands - and the most peculiar thing that stuck out to you?Â
Your attire.Â
Gar was wearing a formal black suit with a green tie and a green vest to match his naturally wild green hair. You were wearing a long, lacy white dress that you couldnât mistake for anything other than a wedding dress. There was a bundle of flowers looped around your head in a large crown, with a long, flowy lace veil going down your back, and a bundle of flowers in your free hand that wasnât holding his.Â
It was a wedding, a marriage.Â
At the time, however foolish it was, you didnât consider the scene to be any specific desire on Garâs part. You simply thought that he was trying to communicate the idea - the concept to you. You thought that it was just part of the game.Â
When you pulled yourself back to reality, you felt entirely confident in your answer as you wrote it down.Â
âA weddingâ
When you flipped it over to show them, you were grinning proudly.Â
Garâs face immediately dropped - embarrassment clutched at his stomach and panic overtook him. Caulder sighed with annoyance as he looked at Garâs card, which said âWATERâ.Â
Before any further discussion of it could be had, Gar dropped the cards and they scattered over the floor. He rushed out of the room, moving so swiftly that he was practically a blur. Doctor Caulder called after him, complaints wafting through the air.Â
You didnât care to listen to the man. You got up and chased him, almost tripping over your own feet to get to him.Â
You caught him as he zipped up his jacket, clearly ready to escape out the basement door and go into town (something he told you he was not permitted to do, but often did anyway). You stepped right in front of his path. He sighed hard through his nose and tried to dodge you, and you stepped in front of him and kept blocking him. Eventually, he was forced to look up at you.Â
It was then - when you saw the look of a truly kicked puppy spread across his features, naked embarrassment lingering in his eyes - that the truth clutched at your stomach. You got the sense that what you had seen was truly private.Â
Part of you wanted to prod at him about his desires and ask why he had been thinking about that. But a larger part of you worried far more about the fact that you had upset him with the freakish invasion by your powers, and you wanted to remedy it. You wanted to save this amazing new friendship.Â
With the index cards and pen still in your hand, you quickly wrote a message to him.Â
âIâm sorry.âÂ
You wrote down, and then quickly flipped it to show him.Â
âItâs fine.â He huffed, clearly eager to escape the conversation.Â
Once again, he tried to dodge around you.Â
Once again, you blocked his path.Â
And then, you wrote down something else to show him.
âItâs not fine. I shouldnât use my powers on you like itâs a game.âÂ
âThe Chief needs to explore your abilities, right?â Gar sighed quietly.Â
ïżœïżœNot at your expense.â You reasoned.Â
Gar was silent when he came into this information - like this was the first time he had ever truly considered that the Chiefâs methods were unethical.Â
âWe should make a deal. I shouldnât use my powers on you unless itâs an emergency. Your mind should be your private space. I donât get to go poking around in there for fun.âÂ
You scribbled this down with haste, feeling very emotional about it. Then you handed it to Gar.Â
He gave a small smile and nodded after he read it.Â
âThat - uh - that sounds fair.â He said, chuckling nervously. âAnd we⊠we donât have to talk about what you saw.âÂ
You both nodded and dissolved into giggles at this. And then, he took off his jacket, and fired up his X-Box so he could teach you how to play Cuphead to help the two of you forget about the whole thing.Â
âŠ
Back in your room at Titans Tower, so long after those first amazing days of your friendship with Gar - you fell asleep deep in thought about him. You couldnât stop going over those early days in your mind. Thinking about all the intense kindness he had given you when the two of you had first met.Â
Thinking about all of it truly made you realize how badly you had fucked up. You genuinely wondered if your friendship with him would ever have any chance at recovering from the cruelty you had shown him.Â
You were genuinely stuck between a rock and a hard place. You thought that if you told him about the things that had happened - about the visions you had seen - even if you stressed to him that it had been by accident, then he would feel that you had violated his privacy. He would be wounded by you seeing into his mind and not reporting it to him right away. He would be upset that your powers had put a wedge between the two of you. And now, he was upset because you had stolen his secrets and you werenât confiding any of yours in him.Â
You were a bad friend. And you didnât know how to make it up to him.Â
You woke up the next day feeling like crap. Â
You quickly realized that Gar was avoiding you. He did finally come out of his room because Dick banged on his bedroom door, demanding in a harsh voice that if his illness was really that serious, he needed to get it checked out. And Gar came out shoving a hoodie over his head saying that he was fine - while wearing the saddest expression you had seen over his face in a long time.Â
When you placed a coffee cup down in front of him as a peace offering - dark roast filled one third with vegan marshmallow flavored creamer, just how he liked it - he distinctly ignored it. He didnât even look at you as he got up from the breakfast bar stool, taking nothing more than a dry piece of toast for breakfast before he stormed off toward the training room.Â
He placed himself in a secluded corner of the gym with his headphones blasting music, doing harsh pushups and pummeling the punching bag. He was making it very clear that he wanted to be left alone. And even when Dick called all four of you into another room for a verbal quiz on The Art of War (where you wrote down your answers on a white board) - Gar refused to make eye contact with you.Â
Even when you drew a satirical comic of Dickâs Robin cape being propelled by a fart (that you labeled âpent up aggressionâ) - Garâs face didnât flinch from the hard stone it had been set into. It made Jason snort water out of his nose and caused Rachel to call you both âimmatureâ. And it got you a verbal lashing from Dick and three weeks of washing the dishes - by hand. So not worth it considering that Gar hadnât even cracked a smile.Â
Garâs cold indifference toward you rolled right into dinner. Gar didnât flinch or try to take sides when Jason and Rachel broke into an argument about what had happened during game night. Jason brought up how stupid the concept of the game had been and he and Rachel began arguing about the rules.Â
(âIf Iâve never seen the movie before, I should get a new question!âÂ
âThatâs not how it works, dickweed! Trivia is supposed to be difficult because you donât know the answers!âÂ
âSo not true. Trivia is a test of memory. How am I even supposed to remember the answer if I donât know the damn source material?!â)Â
The argument lasted long enough for you to finish your meal.Â
When Dick realized they were debating who was the true loser of the bet you had made, he pointed out that regardless of any bets, you had to do the dishes as punishment for the dumb little drawing you had made. You didnât care all that much as long as it got Jason and Rachel to shut up - but Jason was all too smug about it as he handed you his plate. Once you had finished cleaning up, something you found oddly calming, a nice distraction from the chaos of the last few days - you found yourself wandering to Rachelâs door.Â
Much like you, she didnât talk about her powers often.Â
Especially not since she had been tricked into summoning her demon father to earth and then she had been forced to kill him because of what he did to all her friends - the people she considered family. But you knew that like you, she had some kind of capability to see into other peopleâs minds - to delve into their memories or walk the long, winding halls of their thoughts. You knew she might be the only other person on earth who might be able to understand what you were going through. Someone who could give you some kind of solid advice about it.Â
After steeling yourself with a sharp breath, you raised your hand and knocked, waiting to see if she would even answer. The music that she was playing stopped, and after a moment, she opened the door, a look of surprise knitting over her features when her eyes fell upon you.Â
âY/N.â She greeted you in a quiet voice. âWhat is it?âÂ
âI need to talk to you.â You signed to her. You had some hope that she would understand what you meant, but her face was immediately overtaken with confusion.Â
âIâm sorry - I.â She sighed, quickly cutting herself off, looking for the right words to explain it. âBetween Dickâs whole list of mandatory reading stuff, and the sparring practice⊠Iâve been meaning to, but I havenât had any time to study sign language,âÂ
She had genuine regret in her voice, which you could appreciate.Â
You exhaled through your nose, a deep sigh.Â
You gently pushed past her, inviting yourself into her room to settle in for the conversation. It did frustrate you that ASL wasnât just a common language that was taught in schools, especially because it was psychologically proven that it was easy for toddlers to pick up on it with their brains being at a developmental age for it. It frustrated you that sometimes it was difficult for you to communicate with the people around you. But you tried not to let it get to you often.Â
You got your cell phone out of your pocket, gesturing with it to let her know you would be texting her the things you needed to say. It was a simple, easy system. You invited yourself to sit on her bed, flopping back among the messy, unmade dark sheets as you carefully chose and typed out the words you needed to say. Rachel settled back into her desk chair, turning on her music once more, adjusting the volume to a low hum that settled into the background. You recognized it as the Arctic Monkeys and silently admired her taste in music.Â
âHave you ever accidentally seen something you regret?âÂ
You sent the message. It took only a moment to race through cyberspace and you heard Rachelâs phone ping where it sat on the desk beside her.Â
She picked up the phone and looked at your message. She then looked back at you with her eyebrows knitted tightly, a mixture of confusion and deep thought pulling them tight together.Â
âWell there was that one time I accidentally walked into the bathroom when Jason forgot to lock the door-â She began.Â
You cut her off with a raised hand and a pair of wide eyes glaring her down.Â
You looked back to your phone and began typing another message, wanting to clarify what you meant.Â
âWith your powers. Have you ever seen something with your powers that you didnât want to see?â You typed it out quickly, hitting send.Â
Rachel read it over, placing her phone against her chin pensively as she contemplated the answer.Â
âI⊠I donât know.â Her voice was thick with thought. âI used to have these horrible nightmares. Almost every single night. And now I realize that those nightmares are what led me here. And I wouldnât have been able to stop Trigon if I hadnât seen those things.âÂ
Your throat tightened up.Â
You and Rachel had never really talked like this before. You almost felt bad asking her for advice, knowing your problems were very different from hers. Quite pedestrian compared to the woes of somebody who had literally stopped the apocalypse and saved your life, and everyone elseâs. You were worried about a school girl crush and she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.Â
âWhy, what did you see?â Her curiosity leaked through her lips. She had quickly connected the dots to realize that you wouldnât be asking questions like this if you hadnât seen something of significance.Â
Naturally, you werenât going to tell her the details. Not only because the things you had seen were incredibly graphic, revealing, and private, but because you did suspect that she had some kind of small crush on Gar. And you didnât want to crush her small hope of being with him and make her upset. Especially considering you had seen what she could do when she was upset.Â
You opened the one-way text conversation and thought for a moment, carefully contemplating what you would tell her.Â
âI saw something private. Something I probably wasnât supposed to see.â You sent the vague words, and she read them over quickly.Â
âWhat, like a sex dream?â She posed.Â
There was a laugh on the edge of her voice, as though she was only joking. But the accuracy of the comedic prod scared you. You wanted to change the topic quickly - before she truly sniffed out the truth.Â
âDoesnât matter.â You sent quickly. When she saw the three small bubbles pop up, indicating that you were typing more, she simply waited. âHave you ever felt weird acting on information youâve gotten from your dreams? Doesnât it feel like cheating the system? Like you should just shut up and pretend to be normal?âÂ
Rachel sighed, a sharp breath that clung to the insides of her throat. She placed her phone down in her lap and leaned back in her desk chair, swaying slightly with the swivel of the rolling chairâs base.Â
âI donât think any of us can just pretend to be normal.â She noted quietly.Â
Rachelâs words were calm and wise. It was something she had probably realized about herself a long time ago. It was a truth you had yet to fall to. You caught glimpses of the future in your dreams, you could see things about people they never dared to admit to themselves. You were in love with a man who could turn himself into a tiger at will, and yet, your heart still cried for something that resembled ânormalâ.Â
Rachel saw it written all over your face - that warring. And more of that oddly aged wisdom came pouring from her lips before she could stop it.Â
âWhatâs that saying?â She pondered aloud. ââWhatâs normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.ââÂ
It was a saying you had never heard of before, but it was oddly comforting in those moments. The idea that ânormalâ means something drastically different for everyone.Â
When you didnât say anything, didnât pick up your phone to start typing, Rachel continued.Â
âI mean, I donât know if Iâm supposed to be the spider, or the fly, butâŠâÂ
She trailed off for a moment, getting lost in thought. She looked up at you when she had found the proper words, her eyes filled with a steely determination.Â
âLook, somehow, I saved Dawn from a coma.â She firmly reminded you. âShe didnât give me an open invitation to go poking around inside her brain, but she needed me. And I needed her. I know having the ability to see inside peopleâs minds can be weird. But you shouldnât just go around pretending you canât do it because youâre afraid youâll hurt peopleâs feelings, or whatever. You could save their lives.âÂ
You knew the information you had obtained wasnât exactly life saving, but she had a point. An excellent one. Maybe the reason your powers were acting up like this was because Gar was reaching out to you. Maybe it was because he had felt the same way about you for a long time now and he didnât have the guts to tell you either. So unconsciously, he was reaching out, trying to show you his feelings so he wouldnât have to risk getting hurt. Â
âThank you. That actually really helps.â You sent the message and gave her a smile, hopping off the bed and leaving the room once again.Â
âŠÂ Â
You had some time to kill before going to talk to Gar.Â
You really wanted to talk to him this time - truly wanted to conquer everything you had been holding back over these past few days. So you were hoping that everyone else would be in bed asleep so they couldnât interrupt the two of you.Â
You took up some of the time with a nice, long shower. Which was partially interrupted by Jason banging on the bathroom door, complaining about how long you were taking - once again. And you took your time getting ready afterwards.Â
You did your hair neatly and smoothed nice smelling lotion all over your skin. Of course, the thought did occur to you that the âconversationâ could lead to you and Gar having sex. Thatâs what had been so prominently on his mind for the past few weeks. That thought likely did influence your decision to put on a pair of skimpy, cute lace underwear and forego wearing a bra underneath your pajamas. A thin matchy cotton tank top and shorts set.Â
Your stomach was ripe with bubbles, absolutely full of air and anxiety as you sat on your bed, waiting for more time to pass. There was a book in your hand that you barely knew the name or contents of as you tried to kill more time. Your eyes flicked over to the clock. It was almost one in the morning. Surely you had waited long enough.Â
You didnât bother with socks or slippers, your cold feet eager and quiet on the floor as you sneaked your way to Garâs room. You were surprised to find empty, his wide open door revealing a messy, unmade bed without him in it. You hovered in the doorway for a moment, almost losing your courage and going back to bed.Â
But then your eyes landed on his nightstand.Â
There was a wide picture frame holding the picture of him and his parents. And tucked into one of the outer creases of the frameâs wood was something else - two photobooth pictures of the two of you. The pictures were from the first time he had snuck you out of the house to take you to the arcade at the roller rink. You had taken the other two pictures off the set of four, and always kept them in whatever journal you were currently working on.Â
Seeing the memento kept so close to him, so dear - it filled you with a fresh wave of confidence and desire. You turned around, determined to find him. Luckily, there werenât that many places to check.Â
The kitchen and living space were empty. The bathroom was empty and the doors to the security room were shut - meaning Dick was likely in there, researching something, occupied. The only other place to check was the training room.Â
Gar was in there, putting himself through another rigorous training routine. Clearly he couldnât sleep with the fight the two of you had still weighing on his mind. And he was quite a sight to behold.Â
He was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxing gloves and black sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. He was pounding away at the heavy punching bag, clearly trying to take out some of the frustrations that you had caused to run ramped inside of him. He was aglow with sweat, the tips of his green hair hanging down in his eyes, sticking to his forehead. His tight abs were slick and shiny in the light in a way that made you want to lick your lips.Â
His attire easily revealed the delicious cut V of his hips and even a slight bit of pubic hair where he hadnât properly tied up his sweatpants, and they were beginning to slip slightly due to his activity. You could see a rather impressive bulge, signifying that he was definitely not wearing any underwear. It swung around freely as he worked, punching hard at the weight bag. You had to force yourself not to become distracted by the movement of that mighty snake inside his pants - especially now that you knew what it felt like against you when it was throbbing and hard.Â
He either hadnât noticed your presence yet or didnât care to interrupt his workout to acknowledge you.
âIf you came to train, donât let me bother you.âÂ
Gar huffed quietly when he finally paused his movements for a moment. He sounded so entirely wounded, and the words caused pain to radiate through your chest. He leaned down to pick up his water bottle between the two clunky foam gloves without taking them off. He took a large gulp from it while he not-so-subtly eyed you through his peripheral vision, clearly waiting for your reaction.Â
âApparently thatâs all I am to you lately.âÂ
He added on after he swallowed the water, deadly quiet. His words were barely louder than the metal creaking as the punching bag continued to swing from the residual momentum. But you heard him absolutely clear.Â
The sentiment weighed on your heart like a pound of bricks.Â
You knew there were no words to explain it to him. You knew he would still be angered at you for using your powers on him without permission, even if it was by mistake. You couldnât explain how it had been a mistake, how it had only been with him. You still didnât know exactly why or how it had happened.Â
After he gulped down a healthy dose of water, he tossed the bottle aside and rose to his full height. For the first time all day, he finally cast his attention over toward you. His face was set with one of the most sullen expressions you had ever seen. You hadnât seen him this upset since he had attacked that man back at the asylum. Every bit a kicked puppy, as you looked at him, you tried to find the right words, but came up empty. You almost turned to walk away, almost burned dry of the courage you needed to face this.Â
But with Rachelâs words still ringing in your ears, you looked into his glassy eyes, and for the first time in a long time - you pushed into the quiet realm of his mind purposefully. You needed to dig to find something that would help you. Something that could remind you of how perfect you were with Gar.Â
You were surrounded once again by the thick, plush world of his own imagination.Â
Even if it wasnât that different from the world you lived in.Â
The two of you were in the training room, with him wearing a blindfold as you practiced the unorthodox drill that was assigned to you. You got in a few good hits with the practice sword in your hands, and ultimately tackled him to the ground.Â
The two of you ended up in a position that wasnât too different from the reality of the day before. Though it was playful and light, rather than hypersexual and startled.Â
You pinned him down with your thighs on either side of his waist, your hips sitting dangerously above his. Your body weight was balanced partially on your knees and partially on him. You held your wooden sword to his throat, poised in a threat you would never carry out against him.Â
He swallowed hard, his throat muscles jerking underneath the wood. You knew it was more because of the rising heat your compromising position was causing him and not because he was actually afraid of you. Or perhaps him being just a tiny bit afraid of you turned him on that little bit more.Â
You let out a laugh as you tossed the sword away, leaning in to take off his blindfold and give him a kiss on the cheek.Â
âWhat was that for?â He asked, regarding the unique new affection you had never really shown him before.Â
âKiss it better.â You signed, before leaving in and leaving a deeper, more heated kiss fully on his mouth.Â
You forced yourself out of the thick, hazy daydream then.Â
This was the answer. No words would be able to fix this - you needed to kiss it better.Â
âKiss it better.âÂ
You repeated this to yourself in the real world, confirming it as the truth.Â
Gar read the signs you performed and - out of context - it draped him in hopeful confusion.Â
He continued to stare you down with that delicately confused look enveloping his features as you marched across the room toward him, your steps over the cushioned mats of the floor filled with pure determination.Â
He wondered if he had read your signing wrong, or if you were really planning to kiss him. Part of him thought you were going to hit him, or finally flip out on him for whatever perceived crime he had committed. And when you did it - he could hardly believe that it was truly, finally happening. That it wasnât some dream.Â
You reached up and grabbed him by both sides of his sweat damped head. And after years of waiting - you pulled him into your lips.Â
Without hesitation, going on the pure fire in your belly, you kissed him.Â
You channeled every ounce of raw need that had built up since the first time he had sucked you into a daydream where he so ferociously kissed you. His shock was evident at first. His whole body went stiff under your touch, which almost caused you to pull away. But a small moan rang out from the back of his throat - something that made you instantly dizzy with need. It made your lips seek out his with even more force, making your grip on his head clamp down as if to not let him escape.Â
He began to kiss you back with just as much ferocity as he had in his dreams - echoing out another moan as he truly appreciated the taste of your lips.Â
You felt him move but you didnât open your eyes to look. You heard the tearing of velcro as you gnashed your teeth across his top lip and then latched onto the bottom one. Behind your back, he was taking off the boxing gloves, throwing them somewhere on the floor with a careless, quiet thump. Then his arms were around you, snaking around your waist. His flat palms went up the back of your shirt like impossibly hot magnets and pulled your body to his. He closed the small gap you had left for fear of being rejected - he welcomed you into his world with the utmost sincerity.Â
Your shirt stuck to him because of the sweat he had worked up, and you wanted it off immediately. You wanted all your clothes off. You wanted to feel the naked rawness of the bulge you could feel swelling against your hip. But for now, you were too distracted by the other sensations he drowned you in to even consider pulling away to strip down.Â
You were too caught up in the wicked work his tongue was doing as it snaked past your lips. You were obsessed with the loving way his hands held you. You lavished in the heat of his body as it radiated out against you like a wildfire. One of his hands was sprawled out in the middle of your back underneath your shirt. The other cupping the back of your head like you were the most beautiful, delicate doll he had ever had the pleasure of holding in his life.Â
Eventually, both of you were forced to pull away from the kiss - succumbing to that formidable human breath.Â
âIs this real?âÂ
Gar said quietly, seemingly almost more to himself as he pulled away from your lips.Â
You opened your eyes, running a hand down to gently cup his cheek. He felt your gaze on him and opened his eyes. For the first time in days, he stared into your eyes so intimately and the dream became real.Â
âAre you forreal right now?âÂ
These words were a bit louder.Â
Not loud enough to break the sacred bubble of hot mingled breaths, spit, and sweat you had created. He wouldnât dare do anything to shatter this if it was just another sleepy fantasy. But even if it was a fantasy, he still wanted to ask for your consent. That much you realized.Â
Hesitantly, you tore your hands away from his glistening, flushed skin to formulate your reply.Â
âI want you.â You told him simply.Â
Without another moment of hesitance, he used the strong hold of his arms around your torso to take you to the ground.Â
You wrapped your legs around him upon instinct. Your arms came up to clasp around the back of his neck as your ankles fumbled somewhere on his back. The action unintentionally drew your hot centers closer together.Â
Gar bringing you down elicited a surprised squeak from you, which staved off into light laughter as your back met the mats. The laughter was easily echoed by him, deep and hardy. The sound turned into a playful, pleasurable growl into your neck as he ran his teeth along the skin there, nipping, marking his territory. You didnât think his growling would ever be so sexy to you - but fuck, the noise ran a shock up your spine. It made your pussy clench around nothing and sent a wave of wetness into your underwear.Â
This was going to be fun.Â
âYou have no fucking idea how long Iâve wanted this.âÂ
Gar grunted into your neck, his voice already deepened by the cloud of his lust. His tongue licked a hot path down your skin into your cleavage. His hands ran down your sides to grip your hips through your shorts, his touch feeling blazen through the material.Â
âWanted you.â He groaned, sounding so lust-drunk already. âYouâre so fucking perfect.âÂ
You had some idea.Â
But just hearing him say it, feeling the words vibrate against your skin made you moan for him. It made your fingers dig into the flesh of his shoulder blades. You were desperate for some kind of anchor on the plane of reality to assure yourself that you werenât lost in the depth of another beautiful dream.Â
You were vaguely aware of the fact that there was probably a camera somewhere in the room. Maybe multiple cameras seeing what Dickâs personality was like. Hell, Batman was the one who had designed and built the place and Dick was only teaching you guys what he had been taught. He probably used the footage of you guys training to review your weaknesses so he could make you better - build better soldiers.Â
But all those thoughts melted out of your mind the moment that Gar lifted up your shirt. He continued the wet trail with his tongue down the middle of your stomach, stopping once and a while to make sloppy kisses against your skin. You knew exactly what his intentions were when his hands curled into the waistband of your shorts and underwear all at once.Â
Your legs fell limp as he started to pull them off.Â
A fresh wave of heat surged through you, making you absolutely drunk as he tossed your clothes behind him. He poised himself between your bent knees, kissing up your thigh with a tight hold on it, holding himself up with the other hand.Â
âYou smell so fucking good.â He growled out, low, heavy under his breath. You moaned out, only getting drunker with his words. âFuck, I canât wait to taste you.âÂ
You didnât have a moment to sign to him, to give him some kind of encouragement or permission before he was diving in. He got low on his knees, wrapping both his hands possessively around your thighs. He leaned some of his weight on his elbows and from what you could see - canted his hips toward the mats, fruitlessly humping against the softness, seeking some kind of relief.Â
He used his hands to spread your legs - not that it was much of an effort. Your legs practically fell open at his touch. You whimpered hard in the back of your throat as you felt his breath fanning out over your wet pussy. A heavy moan swelled on your tongue when he licked a broad stripe across you from your hole to your throbbing clit.Â
âShit, you taste so fucking good.âÂ
He hoisted your legs over his shoulders so your feet rested comfortably on his back, laying so he was more flat on his stomach, clearly getting comfortable. He laid a few tender kisses on the inside of your thigh. Then he looked up at you with dark, ferocious eyes.Â
âJust, ah⊠smack me on the head if you want me to stop, okay?â Gar told you.Â
Clearly, he was saying this for your safety - putting in a failsafe in case you changed your mind or became overwhelmed. But it came off as a sharp, pleasant warning of what was to come.Â
Your pussy throbbed and you only ached for him to hurry up, biting your lip as you looked down at him. You nodded briskly, communicating that you understood his words. You had a feeling you most certainly wouldnât want him to stop.Â
Garâs fingers dug into the tenderness of your thighs as he ducked his head down, latching onto your swollen, needy flesh. He soon brought a whole new definition to the words âeating pussyâ. Like with everything he did in life, he did with the utmost enthusiasm and passion. He lapped at you, put his beautiful pink lips around you and sucked. He kissed your pussy just as passionately and wholly as he had your mouth.Â
He shoved his tongue between your folds and dragged it in long, languid strokes. Clearly he was eager to lap up every last bit of your essence that he could - eager to devour you. He moaned into your pussy, moaned just as loudly as if he were the one being pleasured. It made the vibrations of his tongue on your clit even more deadly. Your hands were on his hair in a minute, both of them grabbing up as much of the gorgeous green as you could and holding tight. The action pulled a rumble from deep in his chest as he was satisfied by the pleasant pain of you tugging at his roots.
âYouâre so fucking good.âÂ
He moaned into you, and you echoed back a high pitched noise that you hardly recognized as your own.Â
âEverything about you is perfect. Every inch of you is perfect.âÂ
His grip around your thighs became even more possessive, his fingers digging into you hard enough to leave marks. Your lust clouded brain couldnât clock the pain. You could only enjoy the view of his gorgeous hands gripping your skin. He labored over your clit, determined to make you cum. He flicked his tongue hard and fast over your clit as his hot breath fanned over you in quick, lustful pants. The orgasm washed over you so suddenly, a rubber band snapped from his actions. The tension had been built up over weeks of him living inside your mind, torturing you through lustful dreams. Â
Your back arched, every muscle in your body pulled tight. Your thighs quivered and spasmed around his head as he continued to grip them hard. Your mouth became a mess of foreign noises that sounded daft and dumb to you but were absolute music to Garâs ears.Â
He chased you hard the whole way through it, shoving his tongue deep inside your throbbing cunt so he wouldnât miss a single drop of your juices as they flowed out of you. You thought perhaps he might come up for air when your orgasm subsided. The aftershocks were still shaking your thighs, one of your hands falling to lull by your side, the other petting fondly through Garâs now even messier hair. But it seemed you were wrong. He was just getting started.Â
He growled with a feral hunger, the noise making your hips jolt, unintentionally canting toward his face as a whimper fluttered from your lips. He lapped at you in a drunken, lazy way for a few moments before he went back to eating your pussy with a renewed kind of starvation.Â
Nipping at your swollen pussy lips in a way that made your entire body jolt, forcing his tongue inside you and fucking you with it while his nose bumped at your thrumming clit. Your second orgasm built up so quickly on top of the first. Your fingers curled in his hair as an unspoken signal to it. The feeling of your nails digging into his scalp only driving him to makeout with your cunt with an even deeper desire.Â
He soaked up your practically pornographic moans with reverence. The wear and tear on your extremely damaged vocal cords began to hurt your throat, but the noises were absolutely unstoppable as they poured from your lips. His talented tongue was forcefully driving the moans and whimpers from you. He loved the feeling of your fingers ripping at his hair, leaving a pleasant sting across his scalp. He didnât let up at all as your second orgasm plowed through you.Â
He wasnât satisfied even as your voice was echoing the wrecked, harsh moans of a third.Â
He had you panting, your lungs struggling for air. Your muscles twitching with the excess of adrenaline and electricity. You whimpered pathetically as he tongued over your intensely sensitive clit again. Deciding it was time to give in, you reached over and tapped him gently on the top of the head.Â
He looked up at you with those beautiful, wide brown eyes. This time not a lick of innocence or confusion anywhere to be seen - his irises completely overtaken with a deep, primal lust.Â
You crooked your finger at him, motioning for him to come back towards your face. He kissed the inside of your thigh a few more times. He unintentionally smeared your sticky wetness, which had gathered on his lips in a heady, thick coating, across your skin.Â
âI love your pussy so fucking much.â He murmured into your skin.Â
Hearing him spout such filthy words without shame sent another wave of heat rolling through your belly. You had no idea how you were still so needy after cumming so many times, but Gar had easily done that to you.Â
You reached over and gently tugged on his hair again, bringing his attention back to you. You suddenly became very aware of the fact that you knew exactly what you wanted, but you didnât know how to ask for it. Surely, there had to be a sign in ASL for intercourse - but you just didnât know what it was. You had never felt the need to look it up before now. You decided to improv, knowing that Gar would get the meaning either way. He always understood when it came to you.Â
You raised your hands, making a partially closed fist with one hand and sticking your finger into it. You knew that it was probably a rather juvenile motion. To make your point perfectly clear, you mouthed the words âfuck meâ in an exaggerated way, hoping it would be easy enough for him to pick up on.Â
âYou want me to fuck you?âÂ
He gently shucked your legs off his shoulders, sitting up on his knees. He wiped your essence off his mouth with the palm of his hand, a delighted, surprised expression falling over his features.Â
You nodded swiftly, enthusiasm spreading across your face, biting your lip as you could barely contain a giddy smile.Â
âI mean, I donât have a condom or anything⊠should I go find one?âÂ
He moved slightly as if to get up and leave you, but you were quick to trap him, hooking your knees around his thighs and squeezing tight. This touch was a good enough signal to bring his attention back to you.Â
âDonât worry about it.â You signed to him, firm and final.Â
He clearly wanted to question you, but there was something heavy dancing in your eyes, and he didnât want to ruin the moment by pushing it.Â
(You were infertile. Just another thing your illness had taken from you. If it meant this moment with Gar would be a bit more worry-free, then youâd take it. If it meant he would break up with you down the road because he wanted kids that you couldnât have⊠then youâd just enjoy the time with him that you were given.)
âOkay.â He breathed quietly.Â
Your attention shifted dramatically when his hand moved to adjust his cock in his pants, which was straining harshly through the fabric. It was a long, thick outline like a shadow beaming out from the black fabric, with a damp spot at the tip. Fuck.Â
Eating you out had turned him on so much that he was leaking precum into his pants, quite a lot of it. You latched onto your bottom lip at the sight of it. You couldnât help but to outright stare now that you were allowed to look - lavishing your eyes over the thick, magnetic outline of his beautiful cock. His hand gripped it once more, adjusting himself, trying to make his throbbing cock more comfortable where it strained against the fabric. It made the sight even hotter somehow, and your eyes jumped up to his to see the almost shy look on his face. Even after what heâd done, he was shy about you staring at his bulge.Â
âShow me.âÂ
You egged him on, trying to be encouraging. You wanted to play up the obvious desire that you knew was prominent on your face by pouting your lips and batting your eyelashes for him. He raised his hand to the edge of his pants, but his muscles strained, hesitant still.Â
As a show of good faith, you sat up slightly, peeling off your tank top, which was now stuck to you with sweat. Your skin appreciated the cool air of the room, and your ego preened at the way Garâs eyes devoured the newly revealed skin.Â
He let out a harsh breath before he stood up on the spot and took his pants down, letting them fall to his ankles and kicking them away.Â
âI thought you might laugh at me.â He said quietly, insecurity racking his voice. âBecause⊠ya know⊠the carpet matches the drapes.âÂ
Laughing was the last thing you were thinking about doing.Â
As you laid there, propped up by your elbows, staring at him, your mind could only focus on how entirely fantastic he looked. His body was so perfect, his muscles built, building up more each day with the training. His whole body covered in perfect, smooth skin, surrounding a gorgeous, filthy prize that you had only dreamed about being this amazing in real life.Â
His cock sprang out from a nest of green pubic hair - which yes, âthe carpet does match the drapesâ. But you found that to be nothing to laugh at. There was absolutely nothing laughable about the gorgeous, nine inch monster that stood proudly in front of you - smooth skin covering hardened, gorgeous flesh just like the rest of him. With a drooling, bright pink tip just ready for your lips to be wrapped around it.Â
âWhy would I ever laugh at such a beautiful prize?â You told him, assuring him that you held nothing but admiration and lust for his body.Â
A light dusting of pink came over his cheeks, absolute flattery from your words. He dropped down to his knees once again. His cock bobbed so deliciously as he moved, and you knew that would be so whipped by the ability to have it. When Gar realized the power he could hold over you with sex - you would be done for.Â
âJason thought it was pretty funny.â He shrugged, his voice gruff with the memory of it.Â
âJason is a clown.â You assured him.Â
The conversation was cast aside when he gripped your ankles, playfully tugging you across the mats toward him - something that caused more giggles to erupt from your throat.Â
Then, he was hovering over you on his hands and knees once again. With one hand beside your head, the other came over to grasp your chin with two fingers. It was so light and careful compared to his previous touches. He peered down into your eyes, making your stomach seize up with the sheer amount of love and affection he stared you down with.Â
If you didnât feel the same way for him, you might have backed down from the towering might of his feelings. You might have been tempted to run from something so divinely grand and beautiful. But no - you wanted to be his. You wanted to make him yours.Â
âTake me.â You mouthed.Â
Your hands were numb and useless at your sides. Your body was stilled by the cosmic depths of his affection, hoping your silent lips alone would be enough.Â
Gar leaned down and swept your mouth into a kiss. His thumb on your chin rubbed sweet circles on your skin as his lips smoothed into yours. Your tongue reached out to eagerly dive into the cavern of his mouth. Soon his touch was gone from your face as your hands woke up to find him, to reach out for the perfection of his body.Â
You eagerly sought out to touch his arms, his back, his ass, anything you could reach. He used his hand to hoist your knee gently over his thigh, opening you up to him. Then he poised his cock perfectly at your hot, leaking entrance.Â
âYou sure about this?â He breathed across your cheek, pulling away from the kiss to ensure your consent one last time.Â
You nodded with the most frantic posture you could muster, impatient breaths spilling from your nostrils and pouring across his clammy skin.Â
Satisfied with this, he rolled his hips forward. Finally, after weeks - no, years - of waiting in quiet agitation for him, you became complete.Â
Even with his massive size, his cock slid easily inside you.Â
Your pussy was readied by the many orgasms he gave you, your muscles relaxed and naturally slicked up for him. He fit perfectly like he belonged there, your hot inner walls pulling him in. Your hot cunt clung to his cock in a way that made him groan deeply into your neck. The feeling made his buttocks tense as he pulled together his last ounces of self control to not lose it - to not pound into you like a careless sex doll. You were perfect, and you deserved to be treated perfectly.Â
âFuck, you feel so good around my cock.âÂ
He groaned, leaning down on his elbows. He trapped you completely in his warmth, pressing his body firmly into yours from chest to chest to where he was smothered deep inside you.Â
âYouâre so fucking perfect. Fuck, Y/N.âÂ
You dug your nails into the muscles of his back - hearing your name on his lips with such a gravelly desire making your pussy squeeze around him. After a few restrained moments, he finally pulled his hips back and began to move. It started off as a slow, deliberate grind, a slow drag of his hips into yours, but it quickly became unhinged. Not that you minded one bit. You wanted to tempt that animal inside him - you wanted to see his rougher side. Â
The sloppy sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the room as he hammered his hips into yours. The sounds almost completely drowning out the quiet wave of your pathetic whimpers and his possessive growls. He tried to trap the sounds in the skin of your neck, while gnawing mindlessly at your skin, sure to leave some kind of mark on you.Â
He was impossibly heavy and hot inside you, hitting all the best spots. His cock drove more electricity into your nerve endings and absolutely milked you for everything you could give. His knees pinned open your thighs where they jolted and jumped, your body so overstimulated from your previous orgasms that they wanted to clamp shut on his hips to keep him from moving. Your unconscious wanted to pin him down and hold him there - wanted to hold him inside you so that you could feel so impossibly full forever.Â
And then, just as you felt another orgasm coming to form like a screeching fire in your belly, he dared to raise his head from your neck, dared to look into your eyes.Â
Before you knew it, you were tumbling once again through the thick curtain of reality and into his mind. You were pulled against your will into another one of his fantasies.Â
In the fantasy, you were on your back, still, completely naked. You were slicked with a sheen of sweat with his thick, pulsing cock deep inside you. But this was slightly different. The material under your back was most certainly a mattress - plush, more giving than the stiffness of the padded floor of the training room. It had an almost too soft layer of silk sheets covering it that your skin stuck to unpleasantly with the sweat.Â
Your hands were poised on Garâs chest, your nails digging into the skin there, leaving light marks. One of the things that stood out most to you about this picture was not the fact that Gar was having a fantasy about fucking you, but the ring on your finger. Seeing as this was his mind, he was the one who had put it there. Quite clearly a wedding ring or an engagement ring. It was beautifully ornate, poised on the correct finger for marriage. It held a bright green stone in the middle - green like a certain someone special to you.Â
âFuck, I love you so much.âÂ
Dream Gar moaned as he pounded into you, his hips taking on a sloppy rhythm as his orgasm drew near.Â
âMy beautiful wife. Mine. Finally fucking mine. Youâve always been mine, havenât you?âÂ
âIâm yours.âÂ
You found yourself mouthing the words without even realizing it, whipped out of the fantasy world so harshly once again. A very small part of your mind wondered if it had been a small slice of the future that you had seen or if it was simply a conjuring from Garâs imagination.Â
You didnât have the time to think or care, because your body went into overdrive. The Real Garâs forehead was now resting on your tits. His hands created a tight grip on your hips as he pounded into you harder, harsher, deep grunts spewing from his lips each time his cock settled back inside you.Â
âPlease cum for me, Y/N.â His words came out as a whining beg, something so wonderfully small from the man splitting you open on his cock.Â
He kissed between your breasts, his thumb coming to rub harsh circles on your clit, sending jolts right through you.Â
âCum on my cock. Please.âÂ
With the vision still hot on your mind and his words searing through you, the orgasm tore you up like a rabid animal. It was like nothing else you had ever felt in your life - like your entire body was on fire, being entirely consumed by Gar, by his touch, by his love for you. Finally being owned by him, finally having the one thing you wanted, needed most. Finally having him, full and whole.Â
You screamed so loudly it hurt your throat, something you knew youâd be feeling for days afterward. Your whole body shook around him while your eyes screwed shut, your head tilting backwards as the pleasure was exorcized from you.Â
You felt a hot dampness under your fingertips that you recognized as blood. In the back of your mind, you realized that you had gripped him hard enough for your nails to cut him - but he didnât seem to care. In fact, it only spurred him on more, if the deep, ferocious grunts pouring from his lips were any indication. He was absolutely wild as he chased his own orgasm, breath fanning out in hot grunts against your breasts as he bucked wildly into your spent, tired hips, making your muscles twitch with bitter overstimulation.Â
âFuck! Y/N!â He cried out as he came, finally spilling his thick, hot cum inside you.Â
You let out a small moan at the feeling. It became even hotter when you felt his cum pooling around the base of his cock, where you were connected, and leaking down between your cheeks. He lingered inside you for a few moments, petting his hands up and down your sides while your hands laid numbly on his back. He pecked small, delicate kisses across your clavicle that were almost an irony to the whole interaction. It made you smile.Â
You were quickly falling tired from the massive aerobic exercise and post-orgasm haze, disappointed by the fact that you had to get up and make your way back to bed. You hoped Gar would let you sleep in his. It came as a bitter shock when he pulled out of you, leaving you empty and cold as he moved away from you so suddenly. When you blinked, he was standing, bending over with his back to you as he picked up his pants and righted the legs so he could put them back on.Â
What he did next came as even worse of a shock to you.Â
âI - uh⊠I understand if you donât want this to affect our friendship.â He said, just loud enough for you to hear him. His tone was flat, completely void of emotion.Â
âI totally get being horny and just⊠needing someone. Weâve been locked up here for weeks, and like. Like you said, Jasonâs a clown.â He let out a laugh, but it was hollow and tired. He clearly didnât even think his own words were funny.Â
The words were so strange in those moments they took far too long to process through your sex-hazy brain.Â
Was he really insinuating that you might go to Jason for sex? Was he trying to⊠let you down easy? Was he saying that he only wanted to be friends? Friends with benefits?Â
Was he seriously saying that he didnât love you?Â
Your head was spinning with questions as you propped yourself up on your elbows, your whole body stiff as those beautiful, orgasmic chemicals faded away. It left you tired, shocked, and⊠feeling used. Your eyes scanned over Garâs back as he tied up the drawstring of his pants. You focused on the dark red, deep, partially bleeding marks you had left. You had marked him, whether he liked it or not. You had some claim to him. You should.Â
âIâm gonna stay for a while and finish my workout.â He told you quietly. âDo you need help getting back to bed?âÂ
When he came over and offered you a hand, you brushed it away. For the first time ever, you felt cold and unaccepting of his touch. You felt angry with him. How dare he invite you into his mind, show you how much he cared about you - how dare he fuck you with so much love and passion and then try to brush it all off as if it were nothing?Â
âIâm fine.â You told him, hoping your coldness could come across in tired, limp handed signing.Â
You forced yourself up on quivering knees and then onto your feet. You gathered your clothes where they had been carelessly tossed and shoved them back onto your used, dirty body. You would have preferred a shower first, but you preferred the precaution of drapery in case you did run into anyone on your way to the bathroom.Â
âOh. Okay. Cool.âÂ
These were Garâs last words to you before you stormed out of the training room, going to the bathroom to ruminate on the whole experience by boiling yourself in hot, steaming water.Â
âŠÂ Â
You thought about it for a long time while you were in the shower.Â
Just stood there, under the hot spray and let your mind concentrate on the things Gar had said. He had fucked the living daylights out of you, ate your pussy like it was his fucking job. He was apparently having daydreams about doing so while calling you his fucking wife, and then once it was all said and done - he backed down from it. He told you that he âunderstoodâ if you only wanted to be friends.Â
He was afraid.Â
It was like everything else in his life. He could transform into a fucking tiger, but he was afraid to bite people. He didnât want to use the fantastic power that had been given to him. For years, he hid away with Doctor Caulder, a man who emotionally abused him and manipulated him. He had been too afraid to stand up for himself, too afraid to leave the house and chase the things he really wanted.Â
And with you. He was clearly terrified you were going to reject him. He wanted a life with you, he wanted to worship you. He wanted you and your heart, he wanted your everything. But he was too afraid to voice it. He was too afraid heâd look like an idiot if you didnât feel the same way.Â
Thatâs probably why he had unconsciously reached out to you, unconsciously broadcasted his fantasies to you whenever you were near. And youâd thought it was your stupid powers acting up.Â
Just like with kissing him to initiate that amazing sex - you were going to have to shake off your fear of rejection so that the two of you could be together already.Â
âŠÂ
You woke up the next morning with a pounding migraine.Â
Even with the preventative medications Doctor Caulder had prescribed to you to help with your seizures and migraines, the tumor that still lived inside your brain did get to torture you occasionally. When you lifted your head from your pillow and saw the gray, gloomy sky looming over San Francisco, the raindrops racing down your window, it didnât take you long to figure out the cause of your pain. You groaned, falling face first back into your pillow, not wanting to get up.Â
The ever present pain from coming from your head was topped off by soreness that had spread through your whole body - undeniable evidence that what happened between you and Gar last night wasnât just another dream. Dreams donât have consequences. Especially considering that your pussy was aching hard, still sore from having his impressive length splitting you open. On top of it all, your throat was stinging with an almost flu-like ache from having screamed so much through your surgery damaged vocal chords.Â
You really hoped Dick would let you have one day off from training. You probably could have gotten through it with just your body being sore. But the migraine was already ravaging you, already turning your stomach sour with systematic nausea.Â
You heard a knock on your door and sighed quietly.Â
You had just barely hoisted yourself into a sitting position by the time the person entered. Squinting through your tired eyes, you were able to makeout a flash of green and immediately knew that it was Gar.Â
âHey, you donât look so good. You feelinâ alright?â He knew the look that always settled upon your face when you were overtaken with such intense pain. He hardly needed to ask. âWhereâs the bottle?âÂ
You motioned toward the drawer that held the item he spoke of - your hot water bottle, which you used to help ease the bitter pain of a migraine. He opened and closed a few drawers before he found it. Your eyes gently closed against the harsh light pouring in from the hallway, too sensitive to the light to actually look at him.Â
âItâs okay, lay down.â He told you, his voice a comforting lull past the aching thrum in your forehead. He patted your thigh gently through your blanket, and you eased back onto the bed, throwing a forearm over your eyes to block the light. âI got it.âÂ
He went to the kitchen and filled the rubber bladder with boiling water, returning quickly with it and a glass of water. You took the now very hot water bottle. You gave him a small moan of gratitude as you placed it down on your pillow and pressed your forehead into it.Â
In a practiced routine that only spoke to how much he loved you, he closed the bedroom door, blocking out the harsh light of the hallway. And then he walked around the bed to close the curtains, blocking out any potential light from the outside. He placed the glass of water down on your nightstand with a harsh clink that only radiated through your skull so painfully because of the migraine. Then you heard him open the nightstand drawer, digging around for your medication.Â
You trusted that he knew which ones you needed right now. You trusted that he didnât need your advice on how to take care of you. It was something he knew well after so long.Â
You felt his fingers brushing your open palm, then felt the round tablets of your medication left there as he pulled away.Â
âSit up and take these.â He said quietly, voice barely above a whisper, as if he was afraid to hurt you with a single decibel.Â
He used a gentle grip on your forearm to hoist you into a sitting position, and you swallowed the medication dutifully with the water heâd brought.Â
âIâll tell Dick you need to sit out of training today.â He explained quietly. âYou need anything else?âÂ
âOne thing.â You signed to him, your hands weak and tired.Â
Though your pain was disruptive, and you were glad Gar was not acting any different after what had happened last night, you couldnât wait any longer before doing this.Â
Before he could question what that thing was, you leaned in. Your lips easily found his in the darkness and you planted a smooth, gentle kiss on his mouth.Â
âDonât wanna just be friends.â You signed, opening your tired, painful eyes to see his reaction to your words. âI love you. I have loved you for a long time now.âÂ
A broad smile came across his face, his expression of pure joy practically glowing in the darkness.Â
âYeah. Awesome. That sounds amazing. I love you too.â His voice was slightly louder now, his joy overriding his caution for your hypersensitive, pained ears.
He felt absolutely giddy - this was what he had been waiting for, dreaming of for so long. He wanted to climb in bed with you and lay by your side for the rest of the day. But he knew that he needed to attend to other things, and more importantly - you needed your rest.Â
âGet some rest now, okay?âÂ
He tucked you into bed, made sure the covers were up over your body, full and warm with the hot water bottle under your head before he left the room once again.Â
It wasnât long before you heard voices coming from down the hall.Â
âWhereâs Y/N? Weâre doing balance drills in ten minutes.â Dickâs gruff voice echoed down the hall, very obviously directed at Gar, who heâd sent to wake you up.
âShe needs the day off. Sheâs got a wicked migraine and she needs rest when it gets like this,â Gar told him simply, hoping Dick would respect him at his word.Â
âWe donât get days off, Gar.â Dick pressed. âAll of us have to train through pain, or injury. Do you really think some psychotic asshole is gonna care if you have a little headache while theyâre trying to kill you? Do you think theyâre just gonna come back another day? Do you think theyâre gonna stop shooting at you if you have to stop and bandage your boo boo?â
His words cut through you, causing a sallow pain to rise up in your chest. It was something youâd been hearing since your childhood - since your treatments and hospital stays had caused you to miss too many days off and your teachers quickly stopped taking pity on you. You had always been told to just work through your pain, that the world wonât stop for you. You considered getting up and just going to training. You wanted to tough it out just to show Dick that you could, that you could puke into a garbage can and keep going, that you could boot and rally.Â
You heard footsteps coming down the hall, and in your pain heightened sensitivity, you heard the metal of the doorknob shift as someone put their hand around it. The sound of Dick coming to get you out of bed anyway.Â
He didnât get the chance, though.Â
âLeave it, Grayson.â Garâs voice growled - a harsh, sharp sound that you had rarely ever heard from him before. âYou donât understand what sheâs going through, and I wonât have you pushing her until she pukes on the floor just to satisfy your ego. She already trains harder than you ask and you know she could probably kick your ass,âÂ
You heard a harsh sigh, a deep breath through nostrils - Dickâs surrender. His footsteps disappeared down the hall, and Garâs followed shortly after.Â
Your heart bloomed with affection, awed by the blanket of protection he had put around you.Â
You really were his. You always have been.Â
...
When Gar was getting dressed after his shower later that day - he came across a small box in his underwear drawer. It was the ring that Rita had given him before he left Caulder House, a very expensive looking vintage piece from her days on set. Gar tried to insist that he couldnât take something so nice, so sentimental from her. But she had closed it tight into his palm with the promise that it would be yours someday - that he would use the polished emerald ring to propose to you.Â
Of course, she saw that big, beautiful, dangerous thing brewing between the two of you from a mile away. Gar considered marching down the hall and giving it to you right then there. But he tucked the box back into his drawer. In honor of Ritaâs vision - he would make it old Hollywood, romantic.Â
He had plenty of time.
THE END.
...
Final note: yes, I used to be @/pinkchubbiebunnie.That is still my username on AO3, and this is my new blog. This is one of my old fics, so please donât accuse me of stealing it if you see this. I have added some new scenes and elements to it (hence, why I have split it up into two parts) so if you recognize me by this fic and if youâve read it before, I hope you enjoy re-reading it in its newly improved form. Feel free to follow me if youâre interested in my fanfiction and thoughtful discussions of the media that I enjoy.
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hi babe đ€ back on my sunny ocean bullshit đ€ ⊠apercy or michaercy for the rarepair meme? đđ
My love, anything for you đ
For Apercy, we couldn't hope for better start than the undercurrent attraction between both of them. Percy notices the handsome god - even if he is annoyed by him -, and Apollo shows it time and time again how much of a simp he is for the pretty demigod.
I think the best moment for them to get together as a couple that could work for long term, is after Apollo turns into a god again. He is not a mortal anymore, he doesn't have to be afraid that he stays like that way forever, while he is not the same egoistic, uncaring god anymore either.
He is more empathetic, and compared with his great looks, Percy can't fight against his attraction anymore. The god likes to visit him, just chitchat, drive around a bit, invites him out to taste different food from different countries, accompanies him when he goes to visit his mom-
"Oh, shit. I'm dating with Apollo."
It's a funny realization, at least for his friends and family, who just laughs at him, because Apollo couldn't have been more obvious about it.
Percy freaks out, because it is a god, and it is APOLLO, whose dead lovers can literally fill up a garden, but he can't deny the happiness from himself, from Apollo.
And they live happily ever after, without any turning-into-a-plant end for Percy.
-
Michael is a tricky one, but it would happen during the Titan War. Because obviously, the battlefield is the best time and place for getting together.
Percy just saw Michael falling into his death, which, he just can't allow. He is the fucking son of the fucking sea god, he can't, he won't allow Michael to die in the WATER!
And Michael doesn't, because Percy saves him, and everything. He can't stay, obviously, only for a few moments just to make sure he will stay alive, then he does his thing. He can't help it, his mind keeps getting occupied with the son of Apollo, whatever he does. It's a surprise that he can stay alive and pay attention to the things happening around him, honestly.
After Luke dies, gods win, all the promises are made by those lying liers who are constantly lying, when Percy finally escapes from Olympus, the first place he visits is the infirmary.
When Michael sees him - who was tending the injured demigods instead of taking care of himself, obviously -, he immediately throws himself on Percy, half trying to suffocate him for making him worried, and half kissing him because fuck, they are both alive, and enough about this flirting with each other thing they had before.
Michael demands a proper relationship, and he gets one. Obviously.
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For the headcanon ask game - Romione + rain?
For the headcanon ask meme <-feel free to send a couple and a prompt- i'll either write a short blurb of headcanon or write a drabble my headcanon is that Hermione loves rainy days and Ron doesn't- she wins him over to them eventually:
RAIN
Hermione had always loved the rain. None of the other children in her class did. They'd moan and wail when they had to stay inside during playtime. As they all mourned the loss of their beloved tag, Hermione would squirm in delight.
While everyone else would suffer through checkers and building blocks, adventures and deserted islands waterfalled into the room with every drop of rain. Why deal with getting actual dirt under your nails, when you can imagine walking on beaches. Why deal with lines for the swingset and being elbowed off the climbing frame she could barely manage to stay on for more than a few seconds, when there were chapters of friends to spend her hour with.
-------------------------
Rainy days were absolutely, without a doubt, miserable! That's what they were. On a sunny day Ronâs brothers would let him come along and maybe even hang out a bit. He might just be target practice for an apple, but at least he was on a broom, and at least he was having something akin to a nice time with them.
Instead he was locked in, roped into chores, and no one would play him chess anymore. He'd just finished helping his mum mucking out some of the junk from under the sink when he felt his leg get crushed and he let out a string of curses.
âGet your legs out the way!â Fred hissed, giving him a light kick for good measure.
Utterly miserable.
-------------------------
Hermione wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck as a gust of rain-loaded wind made her umbrella quite pointless. The Quidditch Pitch was so misty she had no idea how the players were able to avoid colliding.
âDamn this weather is shit!â
A warm cloak was draped around her shoulder and she hurriedly leaned into Ronâs side.
âYou shouldnât curse.â She did her best to school her smile into a formidable frown of disapproval.
Ron laughed and shook his head. Droplets from his hair flicked onto the last dry bit of her face.
âYâknow, weâve been friends for two years. You should probably get over my cursing. Iâm not going to stop.â
âItâs impolite!â
âWorse things to be than impolite, arenât there? I could be an arse like Malfoy.â
âAnd thatâs the scale youâre grading yourself on? âNot as bad as Malfoy?ââ
âDonât be jealous of my lofty goals,â he said, putting his nose high in the air before squinting. âI hope Harry catches the Snitch soon. My bumâs going dead from the cold. Know anything that could warm it up?â
Hermione tucked her head behind her hair as heat radiated through her.
âThereâs a hot-air-charm.â
âOh yeah! Blow some hot air on me!â
âI donât know it yet⊠Iâve only seen it.â
âSame.â
âAnd warming charms arenât until fourth year.â
âBit shit, that. Itâs getting colder by the second out here. We should all know a good warming charm. Plus we live in a castle in Scotland! Itâs bloody cold!â
âRon!â she said, giving him a small elbow in the side.
âSorry! Iâll try not to curse so much, I sweaââ
âNo! Whatâs that over there?â
A swathe of darkness rushed the field, undulating like a dark ink spill across the Quidditch field.
âOh noâŠâ Ron moaned. âDementors!â
He gave another string of curses as they rushed towards the field.
Despite the cold, misery and terror encroaching, a bit of warmth kept the Dementors from fully affecting her as they had on the Hogwarts Express. It was Ronâs large hand holding hers all the way to the field.
She loved rainy days.
-------------------------
The wet squelch of his shoes echoing off stone hallways was the only sound left in the castle. Ron was alone, which was all for the better. Heâd always loved Quidditch, but now it felt like a scimitar ready to come down and end him. At this point heâd welcome a good beheadingâ at least then he wouldnât feel so bleeding miserable.
His sodden robes left tiny droplets, and heâd wrung out one giant puddle, in the halls. If Filch caught him, heâd probably give him a good dressing down, but Ron didnât care. He deserved one.
How could Quidditch abilities have passed him by so thoroughly? He thought heâd been a good Keeper at home. He always got stuck in the position, but over time he grew to like it quite a lot. Not anymore.
His robes thwarted against the portrait whole as he drug himself through to an empty Common Room. Not wanting to face his dormmates he went for a seat by the fire, but found Hermione. She sat in one of the larger plush chairs, her little legs curled up under her in a way that would make his long limbs go numb in under a minute. All around her were parchment and books. She was working on a Charms assignment he knew was not due for another three weeks. She looked up from the work and gave a warm smile. Despite himself, he smiled back.
âItâs miserable enough with all the rain. Why compound it with Charms?â he asked.
âI wanted to wait for you. I donât like the idea of you practicing in a storm like this. Especially by yourself! Itâs not worth it.â
âWell I canât quit,â he said, feeling mulish again and collapsing into the opposite chair with a great heave.
âI wasnât suggesting you quit. Just maybe wait for nights where there isnât a maelstrom?â
âAh, but then thereâd be loads of other people wanting to practice, and then theyâd all see how I suck eggs.â
âIâve seen you fly and you donât âsuck eggs,ââ she said, finishing her sentence with a flourish of her quill.
âThereâs a whole song about it.â
âThat songâŠâ she growled, casting a charm on her paper to dry the ink.. âMalfoyâs the one who sucks eggs! Heâs a little monster and Iâm a bit in shock the professors have done absolutely nothing to stop him.â
âWhy would they?â he said with a shrug.
âBecause itâs a monstrous display of bullying? Because itâs targeting a student and making the whole school absolutely toxic? Itâs wrong? Itâs harmful? Take your pick!â
Ron straightened in his seat as she pointed her wand at him. Suddenly he was hit with the most satisfying warming charm, followed by a water wicking spell.
âYouâre good at Keeping! Iâve seen you do it every summer up against the twins, Ginny, and even Charlie. But youâre no good to anyone if you get struck by lightning, fall from your broom, or catch pneumonia from being out in this weather! And what are you smiling at?â she asked, brows furrowed enough to make that cute little line appear between them.
âYou.â
âYou should take what Iâm saying seriously!â
âFine, I wonât fly in this weather alone.â
âWell who will accompany you?â
He hesitated a moment then replied, âYou, if youâll come.â
âI can. As long as Iâm ahead on my revising.â
âThen you can always come, as youâre always ahead,â he said putting his feet up on her arm rest.
âI also meant it about the Keeping. I think youâre good.â
âYeah, well⊠Quidditch isnât your strong suit.â She shoved his feet off the chair and he gave a chuckle. âBut, Iâll try to keep that in mind.â
Despite wanting to be so ahead in her studies, Ron noticed how she ignored her parchment the rest of the evening for him. For a rainy evening, it was quite nice.
#romione#hermione granger#ron weasley#rain#my writing#harry potter#hp fan fiction#romione fic#drabble#fan fic
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Omori fandom i have made a BIG BRAIN fic idea and everyone needs to look at it
OKOKOK so picture this:
~KARAOKE FIC~
- post game in Omori, relationships between the gang have gotten better and everyone has now forgiven Sunny and Basil by now (and they all go to therapy now, its essential)
- Kel has decided to drag the group along to a karaoke place in the city Sunny lives in
- yknow what? ill be nice and say that the Hooligans joined as well. There isnt enough content of them, its a damn shameÂ
-Â Almost everyone decides to have a go at singing one song! Kel is,,,uh,,,,ok at it to put at it lightly, Aubrey is pretty good at singing! Kim ends up going heart eyes at that despite the fact theyâve been dating for months (theyre lesbians Dave you cant convince me otherwise) Basil has a soft voice when singing and everyone loves to see it, and everyone overall has a good time!!
- there are Kel and Aubrey bickering moments, there HAS to beÂ
- then you have Sunny, who no one really expected him to sing which was fine by them! But woah! Sunny is going for it? and Kel ends up creating a betting pool to see how good Sunnyâs singing skills are while Sunny is away to grab a drink, Heroâs hosting it with reluctance bc âwe shouldnt do things like this but itâll be interesting to see how this goes.
- Sunny is a SURPRISINGLY REALLY GOOD singer despite that fact you hardly hear him talk at all, it secretly came w the violin practices bc he genuinely wanted to (hcâs go brrrr)
- nobody knows this  only mari did, add that to the Things Sunny RepressedÂ
-Â So imagine the fucking sheer AWE AND SURPRISE that the gang gets when Sunny ends up BELTING IT OUT in the most beautiful voice theyâve ever fucking heard, what the fuck????
- Heâs singing first love / late spring by Mitski and is KILLING IT donât think too hard about the song choice just imagine that I thought that Sunny would listen to her music & NOT because the other song choices i had written werenât that good to pick
- everyone is speechless. Kel and/or Basil are having a Gay Panic Attackâą(havent decided yet but Sunny has two [2] hands), Aubrey has gained more respect for Sunny (âhe sings? and has good taste? respectâ), Hero is the equivalent to the Surprised Pikachu meme,and The Hooligans go :O during the entirety of the song
- then Sunny finishes, looks up with an embarrassed look on his face and quietly goes: â...how did i do? i havenât practiced singing in awhile...â and everyone collectively goes âYOU CAN FUCKING SING??? HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING!!â in varying intensities
- Hero goes all Big Brother Mode and give Sunny a little head pat
- Aubrey looks at him dead in the eye and nods, Sunny nods back. they are Communicating. No one knows what.
- Kel being Kel hypes him up about his skills n shit
- Basil smiles and says his voice sounds like an angel (cue blushy blushy moments lmao)Â
- The fic ends with âman i cant believe i lost the bet! i was so sure that he would be bad at it..â and Sunny goes âYOU PLACED BETS?????? O-oâÂ
- Basil won the bet
i would write this but i dont have an ao3 account and my writing skills are ok at best ;-; but if im ever in a âfuck itâ mood theres a MIGHT be a chance i will write/draw this shit out
tho ppl are free to make a fic outta this! i might reblog this again w more thoughts about it later
#omori spoilers#omori sunny#omori kel#omori aubrey#omori basil#omori hero#omori the hooligans#sunnflower#omori suntan#<- thats the ship name for kel n sunny i found in twitter#oooo ideas go brrrr#omori fic#omori
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Soulmate September - Day 10
Day 10 - You are born with a birthmark, similar to a tattoo, that is shared by your soulmate.
Pairing(s): Romantic Anaroceit, Romantic RemSleep, Ambiguous Poly Glasses GaysÂ
TWs: Swearing, Remus being Remus, animal death metions briefly, implied sexual mention once I think?Â
â
Why was it so difficult to simply bring together two handsome, obnoxious soulmates?
How could grown men be this dense?!Virgil had been trying for MONTHS at this point to get these idiots to date, yet for some reasonÂ
Instead of wanting to date each other, they both seemed far more interested in someone else.
In him.
Why, why did this have to be his life? Tormented by such stupid, handsome men?
Okay, maybe he had a teeny crush on both of them but Virgil was getting ahead of himself.
Working at the local theatre was doing some real good for Virgil; being a techie meant he was mostly out of the spotlight - so no chance of any performance anxiety - and it meant he had to actually wake up and be a functional human being but was flexible enough that he could call in sick pretty easily if he needed a mental health day.Â
Thankfully, things had been going well until Virgil looked down from the catwalk to note that the two best actors in their troupe, Roman Prince and Janus D. Lyre, both bore each otherâs soulmate markings. Both on the backs of their necks, all too easy to miss. Ever since, Virgil had been trying to subtly get them to realise they were soulmates. Of course, given the intimacy of the soulmate marks, it would be entirely outrageous for Virgil to simply tell them they were soulmates; social etiquette wasnât his forte, but his anxiety really didnât want the possible shunning he might receive if he broke that rule. Knowing that Janus and Roman were often together for rehearsals and were similarly self-obsessed, Virgil assumed getting them interested in each other would be a piece of cake.
And yet. Somehow. The man they were both interested in was Virgil himself.
Every time he tried to get the two talking, Virgil wound up being flirted with or found himself stuck between two arguing idiots. If anything, Virgil wondered if his interfering had made things worse. Now instead of kidding and being perfect and gorgeous together, they were absolutely straight up enemies. Janus did his best to interrupt - and one-up - Romanâs stellar attempts at flirting, and Roman often tried to out shine Janus by giving Virgil anything from his favourite chocolates to gothic black roses to new headphones.
Not that Virgil didnât secretly love being the object of their mutual affection, if anything it gave him hope that perhaps whoever his soulmate was would dote on him just as much. But just like his non-existent soulmate mark, this just wasnât meant to be. He still wasnât sure why he didnât have a soulmate mark like everyone else; even his ace and aro friends confirmed they had soulmates too, so why was he skipped over? Probably because no one would ever want to be his soulmate.Yeah. Probably.
Virgil was lost in that downward spiral when Remus leapt off of the set he was painting and landed just shy of crushing the poor emo.
âWow you look like shit,â, the trash rat greeted, sitting and slinging an arm around Virgil before he could protest, âAre the girls fighting again?â
Virgil tried to stifle a snicker. Itâs a stupid meme reference, Virgil, donât laugh.
âOf course it fucking is, when is it not?â
Remus nodded, though he looked more bored than sympathetic, âWell, how about I offer you some advice, my good bitch?â
Virgil squinted at him in both annoyance and suspicion. âIf itâs going to get me arrested, itâs a solid âfuck noâ.â
âRelax, asshole, itâs totally legal and requires zero body bags and or falsified witness statements!â
Well. Thatâs about as good as theyâre going to get. Virgil huffed, âFine, give me the deets, Ratman.â
Remus snickered at the old nickname; A decade had passed but still the memory of the two of them graffitiing their high school gym with their tags on their last day still lived on.
âAlright, Stitch Bitch, hereâs how you do it,â, Remus ignored Virgilâs eye roll and continued, âAsk them both on a date, same place and time. Talk about your interests, since youâre probably not gonna actually have that much in common, then you can just reject both of them! Theyâll be driven into each otherâs arms, or some shit. You know what theyâre like, theyâre dramatic as fuck. Itâll be perfect.â
Virgil wasnât amused, âBut what if they donât? What if I just end up breaking both their hearts and they wind up all depressed and-?!â
âThen it solves your problem anyway, dipshit.â, he rolled his eyes, âJeez, youâre worse than Roman with the dramatics! Think of the middle ground, you turn them both down, they go home sulking, but theyâre big boys! Theyâll get over it and get together some other day! Big deal!â Remus affectionately ruffled Virgilâs hair and didnât stop until Virgil all but threw him off, âAlright, alright, fine! Iâll try, but if it all goes wrong, youâre helping me pack to move across the fucking globe.â âOoh, alright! Or I can hide your body if it goes REALLY badly! I know how to make sure the police never find it, after all! Did you know you just need to bury it vertically and put a dead animal on top-â
Virgil tuned him out, already trying to narrow down locations for dates in his head. Heâd need to pick somewhere both Roman and Janus would agree to go. He didnât exactly doubt either of them would turn him down, but he needed to be sure theyâd both attend. Perhaps the local restaurants would be a good place to start? Itâd be easy to Mrs.Doubtfire that shit. Minus the clothing change, of course. Maybe the Golden Palace might be a good idea? Itâs bougie enough for Roman, classy enough for Janus, and if Virgil got lucky enough, perhaps theyâd both be the ones to pay for dinner.
â...And so I told Roman about it and then Roman tells me âRemus, you dunce, you got arrested because you were caught carrying a dangerous weapon in Starbucksâ but I personally think that cop was just an asshole. I mean, it was just a baseball bat for fuckâs sake, so WHAT if it had a few nails in it-â
The techie noted that Remus was still babbling to himself so he clicked his fingers just shy or flicking him in the ear,
âWhenâs Roman free? I know Janus is pretty flexible-â
âIâll bet.â, Remus snickered. âDude. You have your soulmate, donât be a dick.â
âHey, that doesnât mean I canât mentally rank every guy here on how bendy I think theyâd be in bed-â
âTHAT ASIDE.â, Virgil interrupted, rubbing his temples like it would squeeze out the horrible mental image and several questions he never wanted answers to, âIâve nailed down the where, I just need the when. Janus is free most days, but Romanâs pretty enigmatic about that shit. Do you know if heâs free tonight? Might as well get this shit over with.â
Remus mulled it over, âHe should be. But you should probably just ask him first then Janus. Yâknow, save yourself the trouble.â
Ah. That did make sense. Virgil tried not to let it show that he hadnât thought of that and nodded, âRight⊠Okay. Just, if I fuck up talking to either of them, be ready.â
âWith the car or a shovel?â
âBoth.â
The trashrat snickered and let Virgil stand up, giving him an âaffectionateâ jab in the back of his knee just to get a reaction out of the techie. Virgil wasnât sure why Remus did that sometimes, he figured it was just another one of the demented twinâs eccentricities.
Inhaling deeply, Virgil sought out Roman, careful to avoid Janusâ line of sight as he tapped the flamboyant twin on the arm. Roman spun to face him, his expression lighting up in a way that made Virgil shamefully wish that he was his soulmate. That he was worthy of all his doting.
âVirge! What can I do for you, my dark and stormy knight?â
Stop being so fucking charming perhaps?
âUh, itâs kind of an embarrassing request, so bear with me.â
âOf course! Whatâs up?â
Just ask him, ignore the butterflies, heâs not your soulmate.
âI was wondering, if youâd want to go on a date with me tonight-â
Roman positively swept the emo off his feet, his beaming smile could have burned itself into Virgilâs eyes.
âYES!! YES, IâD ADORE-â
âYEP! Okay, thatâs great!â, he shushed him, trying to keep things as quiet as possible, âListen, I know youâre excited but Iâm really anxious about this-â
âNothing new there.â, Roman chuckled affectionately as he put Virgil down.
âOh shut up,â, Virgil smirked, pushing down the sunny feeling that chuckle brought out, âLook, Iâll text you the details so can you just keep this between us? I donât want anyone gossiping. Not that Iâm ashamed of you or anything I just-â
Roman carefully halted his word vomit with a gentle caress of Virgilâs cheek, âItâs alright, I understand. After all, with such an honour, Iâd do good not to betray the trust of my charming prince.â
Virgil flusteredly averted his gaze, âHmph. What happened to your âdark and stormy knightâ?â
âWell, if things go well, Iâd hope to promote him.â
The wink Roman shot Virgil should be illegal, that thing could have killed him. The techie just gave him an attempt at an âoh fuck offâ smirk that came out more as a âfuck I have a crushâ shy smile.
No time to dwell on it, he had another stupidly handsome man to ask on a fake date.Â
Virgil checked with the stagehands and made his way over to the backstage dressing room area, finding Janus sat on one of the makeup tables while their dramaturg was busy going over some directions for their next rehearsal. Upon looking up and noticing him, Janus smirked - another expression that should be outright banned for itâs lethality - and politely requested the dramaturg âbother him another timeâ. They did exactly that, leaving Virgil and Janus alone to talk,
âVirgil,â, Janus purred with a voice like sweet honey, âwhat brings you here?â
Donât think about that sexy voice, donât think about that sexy voice, donât-
âYou, actually.â Play it cool, Virge. Be suave and charming. âI wanted to ask you out on a date.â
Janusâ eyes widened slightly in surprise. Virgil felt pretty proud to have finally stunned the silver-tongued gent, though he knew itâd only be a fleeting victory. If anyone would out-smooth even the most flirty person alive, it would be Janus.
With a snake-like fluidity, Janus slunk off of the table and made his way over to Virgil; whereas Roman was only an inch or two taller than him, Janus had a whole six inches at least. Virgil found it semi-intimidating, but that just made the taller man more attractive if he was being honest. Janus softly ran a hand through Virgilâs purple-dyed hair,Â
âThatâs rather a bold request, Virgil. What brought this on, if I may ask? Not that Iâm complaining..â
Virgil had to work extremely hard to resist the urge to nestle into the warmth of his palm. Not your soulmate! Stop it! âI uh, I figured I would take a risk for once. Itâs alright if you donât wanna-â
âNo.â, Janus interjected, the hand in Virgilâs hair sliding under his chin to lock their eyes, âIâd very much like to go on a date with you. When and where?â
Virgil swallowed nervously, âThe Golden Palace, tonight? Iâll um, Iâll book the table and text you the time-â
âPerfect.â, Janus smirked, gently releasing Virgil. He hadnât realised how much heâd been subconsciously leaning into Janusâ touch until he almost felt himself sway. âIâll be sure to wear my best suit for you. Really give you something to blush over.â
Shit.
Virgil had no rebuttal, he simply nodded and hastily headed back to his usual breakspot to work out just how he would survive tonightâŠ
--
It turned out the answer was simple; he wouldnât.
Thankfully Virgil had settled on an outfit that was just the right mix of fancy and casual; his black leather jacket hugged his shoulders which his dark purple button up sat under. Heâd gone back and forward between his options for bottoms, but in the end, he preferred his black short pencil skirt and a pair of sheer black tights that matched his black ankle boots. It was a bold choice, but Virgil felt far more powerful in that combination. Like he could kick ass and get away with it.
Virgil neednât have bothered, however, as the second he showed up at quarter to seven to meet Roman, any semblance of confidence in his ability to control the situation went right out the window. It should have been illegal to look that handsome. A white waistcoat and pants bearing gold trim, combined with a burgundy button up shirt with the sleeves rolled? How dare Roman look that beautiful-
Oh god, now heâs smiling at him from across the room. Too late to back out now.Â
Swallowing nervously, Virgil returned the smile and headed over to the table heâd booked; far enough from the door for Roman to miss Janus arriving, and out of the way enough so that they wouldnât see each other too soon. If he wasnât so nervous, Virgil would have pat himself on the back for the trouble he went to securing two tables over the phone, but the last thing he wanted to focus on was the person on the phoneâs sassy remarks as he did so. Instead, he focused on Roman politely getting up to pull out his chair for him.
âYou look stunning, Virge! Did you change up your eye shadow too?â
Virgil gave an anxious nod, âYeah, I thought maybe Iâd try the purple instead of solid black like usual. Do you like it?â
Romanâs grin couldâve smothered him in the night and heâd have thanked it for the priveledge, âI love it!â
While keeping an eye on the time, Virgil let himself roll into conversation with Roman; he was surprised by not only how smoothly the conversation went, but how much they had in common. Sure, there was a tiiiiny heated exchange as to which Disney movie reigned supreme, but their mutual love of Nightmare Before Christmas and the artistic pursuits made for some wonderful discussion. It was a shame Virgil had to remind himself of just why he was doing this.Â
He was supposed to be making his rejection of Roman easier, not more difficult.
Finally, as 8 Oâclock rolled around, Janus walked in followed by a few other smartly dressed patrons. Of course, Janus very much stood out among them wearing a black dinner suit with an obsidian waist coat and golden coloured button up underneath. His usual bowler hat had been replaced for a much fancier one with a larger brim that held a marigold flower. The sight was so enticing, Virgil had to will himself to stop staring as he got up from the table,
âExcuse me, Roman, mind if I go use the bathroom?â
Roman gave a nod and Virgil made haste towards the restroom area; thankfully heâd planned ahead and knew he could use the corridor that went along behind the bar to emerge on the other side of the room without being detected. However, a new obstacle proved to be a challenge; Janus hadnât taken his eyes off of the door since the moment heâd walked in and removed his suit jacket.Â
Damn. Virgil hadnât anticipated that.Â
Luckily, one of the men whoâd come in behind Janus - a man adorned in an off-black suit wearing a beanie, a pair of sunglasses, and a face mask - had just come out of the bathroom door behind him. Without the time to let his social anxiety kick in, Virgil stopped the man and asked quietly, âHey, sorry to be a bother, but if you can distract the handsome guy at that table for a couple minutes,â, he began, gesturing to Janus, âIâll give you ten bucks, howâs that sound?â.
The man seemed to stare for a moment behind the shades then silently gestured with his hands in a motion of âmoreâ.
Of course.
âOkay, uh, fifteen?â
More again. This asshole..
âUgh, fine, twenty! That's as much as I can spare!â
The man shrugged and nodded, gladly taking the money and, to his credit, doing exactly as was asked. Virgil watched him approach Janus, asking for the time if the way Janus took his attention and turned it to his watch was an indication. It bought Virgil enough time to âarriveâ just as the man gave a thank you nod to Janus.
âSorry Iâm a little late,â, Virgil apologised, taking his seat, âI hope I didnât keep you waiting?â
 âNot at all,â, Janus assured him, smirking delightedly in a way that made Virgilâs knees feel weak even in a sitting position, âYou look beautiful, Virgil, if Iâd known youâd look so good, Iâd have picked out an even better suit.â
This fucking guy, oh my god. âOh shut up, you look handsome as is.â, Virgil shot back, doing his best to remain calm even as Janus leant in close to strike up conversation.
--
âIâm telling you, babes, heâs either a cheater or heâs crazy.â
Remy aimed the stirrer heâd been using to push back his cuticles towards Virgil and Janus, then trained it on his stoic co worker, âLook, heâs got two gorgeous guys here and neither of them have noticed yet.â
The aforementioned co worker rolled his eyes, âRemy, you have once again utterly misread the situation for the sake of needless dramatics. Itâs rather obvious whatâs going on here if you take the time to pick up on subtle body language clues.â
âWhatâs this about clues, Logie Bear?â, questioned a rather eager waiter carrying a tray of glasses back behind the bar. âAre you playing Sherlock again?â
âPatton, please, refrain from the pet names during working hours, Iâve told you before-â
âWhile theyâre perfectly suitable and welcome at home, we must remain professional at work.â, chimed in another bespectacled man who was manning the till, âItâs fine Logan, honey, let them off the hook this once, okay?â
Patton put down the tray and wrapped their arms around the man whoâd just spoken, âEmileâs right! Câmon Logan, you canât deny it, you like the name too-â
Logan cleared his throat to throw off the peachy blush that threatened to give away his adoration for his soulmates, âAs I was saying before, itâs obvious as to what this rather anxious individual is up to. His body language isnât that of a cheater, Remy,â, the server flipped Logan the bird, âIn fact, Iâd hazard a guess that the poor lad is simply attempting to work out which man is his soulmate. I read a fascinating journal that talked all about this phenomenon where some soulmates are unable to see their soulmarks and thus rely on a technique comparable to sensing oneâs aura-â
âOkay so like, you think heâs trying to get a read on these two to narrow it down?â, Remy interrupted before Logan could further explore his tangent, âWell then, itâs obvious which one heâs gonna pick.â
Remy gestured lazily over his shoulder at Roman, who was currently twirling his fork between his fingers, âItâs gonna be Tall, Dark and Dumbass over there, babes.â
Logan scoffed, âFalsehood. Clearly the gentleman heâs sat with currently is a much more appropriate option.â. The server nodded his head in their direction, âAll factors point to the man in black not only being the more suitable option, but his body language is far more open and receptive to our subject.â
âSubject. Christ itâs like Iâm back in science one.â, Remy groaned, but continued to argue, âBesides, youâre ignoring how heâs like, totes more comfortable with my boy in white, sweetie. Look at him, he canât wait to get away from your boy in black.â
Sure enough, Virgil had gone to switch partners again, returning to Roman with a sweetly shy apologetic gesture.
Patton piped up, âWhat if theyâre like us, Logie Bear? Yâknow, more than one soulmate?â
Logan shook his head, âRidiculous, itâd make no sense to have such a date if that were the case.â
Remy nodded in agreement for the first time, âYeah, either way, youâre wrong on this one, Logan. Trust me, I know what a fellow morosexual looks like.â
Emile and Logan both sighed at that one while Patton tskâd, âRemy, come on, thats your soulmate youâre talking about! You shouldnât be mean!â
Remy quirked an eyebrow at Patton, âBabes, have you met Remus? I love the big sap but heâs a certified dumbass with a heaping dose of cryptid.â, he opened the drinks cooler and took out a lemonade bottle, not giving a shit that the three soulmates behind him were absolutely unamused. âAnyway, if youâre so sure over who our âsubjectâ will end up with, how about we bet on it? Loser has to work two weeks of overtime and the winner gets thirty dollars or some shit. You in?â
Patton and Emile both declined, both more focused on their work and simply enjoying the dates being had, while Logan agreed wholeheartedly, âI do hope your next two weeks are free, Remy...â
--
He couldnât take much more of this.
The longer Virgil kept going back and forth between the two of them - using his anxiety to buy himself time without too much suspicion - the more he was getting tangled up in feelings he knew he couldnât indulge. Every second with Roman made him smile, even when trading verbal jabs. Every second with Janus made him feel more bold, able to flirt back every once and a while. But this wasnât right. Janus, Roman, they were made for each other. Not for him.
He wouldnât get to curl up next to Roman on a cold night, watching Disney movies, baking together, or following along to Bob Ross tutorials only for one of them inevitably would start painting on the other until they were both paint splattered, cackling messes.Â
He wouldnât get to dance quietly in the living room with Janus while their favourite music plays, swaying softly to his favourite Jazz music, or lazily draping himself over Janusâ lap while they read their favourite books long into the night.
Virgil stared into the bathroom mirror; his âdatesâ had been so sweet as to compliment him, but all he could focus on was how much of a mess he felt. Heâs going to break their hearts beyond repair, all because he couldnât just tell them they were soulmates. Social etiquette be damned, why had he let it go on like this?
Feeling his chest constricting, Virgil quickly grabbed his phone and texted Remus.
V: [help. Having a panic attack. Distract me]
He tried to remember his breathing exercises, chewing his free handâs thumbnail anxiously until he got the text notification;
R: [Cool. Did u kno rabbits eat their babies when theyâre stressed?]
âŠ. Virgil heavily regretted asking Remus to distract him.
V: [Horrifying. Thank you.]
R: [Anytime, Stitch Bitch. Now what happened?]
V: [Dates backfired.]
R: [U caught feelings didnt u]
Virgil groaned and kept typing.
V: [fuck u]
R: [fuck me urself coward.]
Well at least that got a laugh out of him. Remus followed up that text before he could reply:
R: [Just go out there and tell them the truth]
V: [nope, no way, theyâll hate me]
R: [Bitch theyâre both smitten w/ u itâll hurt but theyâll live, theyâre sat there worried about u]
V: [how the fuck do you know that?]
R: [Remyâs on shift tonight, he and Logan are taking bets on how things will pan out. Theyâve been texting me non stop.]
That did explain a few things. Namely the one server with the sunglasses and sassy attitude who gave him and Roman extra desserts âfor like, the cutest couple in this bitchâ, and the other more stoic server who brought him and Janus a bottle of champagne âto celebrate a wonderful partnershipâ. When would his life stop feeling like a goddamn circus?
Virgil was pulled from his thoughts as his next text sent his blood running cold,
R: [u might wanna get back to em, theyâll be worried about u by now]
Dammit. Virgil had just left the bathroom to be met with a worried Roman, âVirgil, are you alright!? You were gone so long, I thought something had happened!â
Stomp down that affection youâre feeling, Virgil. Itâs just gonna hurt more.
âIâm fine, its just my nerves-â
âVirgil?â
Both men turned to spy Janus entering the hallway with an expression of shock and disgust upon seeing the two of them. He promptly strode over and with surprising gentleness moved Virgil to his side,
âItâs bad enough I canât avoid you at work, Prince, but Iâll not have you ruining our date night.â
As Janus went to lead Virgil away, Roman held onto Virgilâs hand, âActually, Lies and Dolls, heâs with me tonight, so kindly take your delusions and leave.â
Oh my god, why did he trust Remusâ plan in the first place?! Janus smirked dangerously, âOr what, you dramatic hack?â
Roman took exception to that, and while Janus had the height advantage, Roman still knew how to be intimidating when needed, âIâll make you leave!â
Before either of them could come to blows, Virgil got in between them. He might as well come clean,
âBOTH OF YOU STOP!â
Janus and Roman faced him, sporting stunned but ever attentive expressions. Ugh, this was gonna hurt.
âI canât do this anymore! Yeah, I did ask you both here, and yeah! Youâre both wonderful but youâre not meant to be with me! Youâre meant to be with each other! Ugh, this was a mistake! I canât-! I canât be here, Iâm sorry-!â
Virgil wrenched himself from between them, making a beeline through the tables and just getting out of the door before the two caught up to him. In the back of his mind, Virgil assumed the serving staff that followed behind were either desperate to see this unfold or just making sure this wasnât going to be a dine ânâ dash scenario.
âVirge, come on, youâre not making any sense! Iâm not meant to be with Janus,â, Roman assured him, rolling his left sleeve up the whole way and revealing Virgilâs soul mark, âIâm meant to be with you! Youâre my soulmate, Virgil! Surely you knew-â
âThatâs,â, Janus interrupted, âThatâs not possible, because Virgil is my soulmate.â
Both Roman and Virgil turned to face him, watching Janus roll up his right sleeve to reveal Virgilâs soul mark in the exact same place as Romanâs had been.Â
To say Virgil was confused was an understatement, âW...Wait, no, thatâs...â
Roman and Janus stared at each otherâs soul mark then looked to Virgil, âYou⊠really didnât know that I- that we were your soulmates?â
Virgil shook his head, âI donât have your soulmarks though! It doesnât make sense...â
He turned away, grasping his arms as he tried to make sense of all this. All his life, Virgil had looked in his mirror and wished - God, how heâd wished - to find just one mark. Something to prove that he was indeed someoneâs soulmate. That the universe hadnât forsaken him. And now he had two of the most wonderful men heâd ever met sporting his soul mark while he had nothing to reassure him this wasnât some cosmic fluke?!
Janus and Roman stood in awkward silence, the latter giving the servers an apologetic look and pulling out his wallet to pay when the former noticed something about Virgil that had him squinting to get a look. â.... Virgil, do forgive me for this.â
Without hesitating, Janus whipped out his pocket knife - why he brought it on a date, Virgil had no idea - and cut a hole in the back of Virgilâs tights, careful to avoid his skin.
âWhat the FUCK, Janus!?â, came the obviously horrified reply, only for Janus to take a picture with his phone and hand it to Virgil, rendering him speechless.
Sure enough, there on the inside of his right knee joint was Janusâ soul mark.Â
âI just happened to spot the same shade of yellow showing through and, wellâŠ.â
He didnât need to finish, Virgil was stunned to silence. All this time, how could he have missed it!?Â
Well, it wasnât in the easiest to see area, and come to think of it, his mirror was a little too high off the ground for that kind of angle, and with the marks being so small..âŠ..
The revelation was met with a shocked gasp from Roman.
â... Virgil, may I-â
âIâll just take them off, fucking hell!â
Both men turned away to let Virgil remove his shoes and tights in peace. When he gave them the all clear, Roman was ecstatic to note his own soul mark adorning the left knee joint. Virgil glanced towards his two soulmates, letting out a soft sigh of adoration at their delighted faces. He was feeling a whole rush of emotions, but right now? The last thing he wanted was to waste any more time.
âGimme a second to pay these guys,â, Virgil gestured to the gaggle of servers set in various expressions of celebratory delight, âThen we can go back to my place and have a movie night.â
Roman and Janus offered sweet smiles to their soulmate; that sounded like the perfect end to a wild night.
---- Bonus (Because I got attached to this universe, fight me) ----
With the cafe clearing out aside a few stragglers, Remy sighed distantly, âWell, itâs a good thing we both won, babes, I didnât wanna get stuck with all that overtime.â
Logan gave him a perplexed look, âActually, we both lost, therefore we both should work overtime.â
Remy pulled down his shades to glare at Logan, â.... Are you fucking kidding me? Bitch, we WON, and we get to keep our money, babes. What part of that makes you think ânope, overtime sounds betterâ!?â
Logan was about to go into the technicalities when he chanced a glance back at his soulmates, watching as Patton excitedly gushed over the nightâs events, stimming excitedly with their apron while Emile folded his own and put it away for the night, glad to listen to Pattonâs bubbly rambling. Logan couldnât deny, the idea of staying late while his soulmates were home without him wasnât an appealing idea. Maybe this once heâd spare Remy a lecture.
â.... You know what, youâre right. Excuse me.â
With that, Logan went to join his soulmates while Remy stifled a fond smirk and went to go ask the last patron to leave. He wanted to just go home and collapse into Remusâ arms. Ugh, he just hoped this dude wasnât going to make a fuss. He wasnât sure what kind of guy combined a suit, a beanie, shades, AND a face mask, but Remy just hoped he wasnât here to rob the place.
âAlright sweetie, you gotta go. Weâre closing and I wanna get home to my loveable dumbass. Letâs go-â
The man gestured to his ear. Ah. Remy rolled his eyes and leant down to speak closer,
âI said-â
The man quickly pulled down his face mask and stole a peck from Remy, a grin spreading across his face that curled excitedly to match his moustache.
âYou gotta get home to meeeee~.â
Remus took off the sunglasses and beanie, revelling in the surprise that painted itself over Remyâs face. He stood up, wrapping his arms around Remyâs waist as his soulmate tried to form a sentence, âHow long have you just been sitting here?!â
âEver since I figured itâd be funny to watch Virgil realise he was trying to set up his own soulmates-â
âYou- Wait, Virgil!? Thatâs the guy youâre always telling me about?!â
âYep!â, Remus grinned.
Remy wrapped his arms around Remusâ neck, unsure if he wanted to strangle him or hold him closer, â...Did you know he-â
âHad two soulmates? Yep~!â
Remus chuckled and kissed Remyâs cheek, âVirge and I used to have gym together. He kept saying he couldnât find his soulmarks, Iâm surprised he never got my hints...â
Sighing annoyedly at his soulmate, Remy pulled him in for a proper kiss before he could go on more of a tangent. Once they broke apart, Remy poked Remusâ chest,Â
âYou made me lose thirty bucks, yâknow.âÂ
Remus grinned harder and pulled out twenty dollars âWell then, I better take this generous donation from my best friend and treat you to a milkshake on the way home then...â
-----
Itâs finally doooone!!
This was a long one for sure, but sue me, I got super into this one!!
Iâll be playing catch up for a while so get ready for Day 11, I ended up with a last minute change and itâs gonna be a tear jerker. @tsshipmonth2020
Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses @fandomsofrandom
#anaroceit#remsleep#glasses gays#lomile#patmile#logicality#idk what their poly ship name is#soulmate september#my fics#fanfics#roman#virgil#logan#patton#janus#remus#remy#emile#can we just make the logan patton and emile ship name like#smth like functional therapy#idk they're just vvv cute
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best friend headcanons for korekiyo
i realized half way into writing this that my actual best friend is a little like him so now iâm never going to stop calling her kiyo just to get on her nerves - mod kokichi
- firstly, he's going to make you read what he reads
- okay, he won't ' make ' you read it per say
- but he will recommend it over and over and over until he gets annoying and you give up and get the book
- most of the time you're hanging out at home lmao
- after school you're often coming over at his place
- it's kind of quiet there, and the lights are dim
- some people would probably be creeped out a little bit
- but not you
- because what do you have to fear about your best friend ? that he may get gum stuck in his hair again ? cute
- you're not overprotective of him or anything
- but it does bother you when people call him creepy
- if they only took the chance to get to know him, they wouldn't think that
- he's actually pretty fucking funny when you listen to him to talk
- like, his jokes are slightly outdated, but that's what makes them funny
- he brings memes that weren't even memes back from the dead and it's the funniest shit ever
- more than often, he's the one who's talking in the conversation
- he has a lot to say, and you're a pretty good listener
- he's the kind of guy who wants someone to talk to in the middle of the night about why the prussians fell
- and so he's going to text you while you're asleep long paragraphs worth of information
- and he expects a response in the morning or else you're on his bad side
- his bad side is literally just him not acting any different but being slightly pouty about everything
- like yeah, he's still doing everything the same way, but can't you / feel / the upsettie in him ?
- if you force him to go outside for some sunlight he may try to hunt you down and kill you
- you often bring two pretty umbrellas when it's a sunny day and you want to go outside
- one for you so you don't burn, and one for him
- and before you ask, yes they're matching
- since he's really tall, if you're shorter than him he will use his height to his advantage
- if he wants your attention he'll just fight for it
- by holding your book that you were reading above  his head and watch you try to climb him like a monkey to grab it
- every time you make him laugh it's like leveling up in a game, it's such a refreshing feeling
- ya'll are a pair of chaotic best friends who stay inside most of the day but it's fine because you're having fun
#danganronpa#danganronpa v3 killing harmony#killing harmony#korekiyo shinguji#danganronpa korekiyo#danganronpa imagines#imagines#mod kokichi
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i think someone already asked for paz and kaz?? if not then them, in case someone asked for them, kandori and maki for the hc meme!
MY TWO FAVE DUOS EVER. iâll do them all bc i could fill out a hundred prompts about them
Persona 1, Persona 2EP, general Metal Gear spoilers incoming
Putting under a read more because it is loooong (sorry in advance)
Kandori
realistic: Oh, Kandori was absolutely the one who alerted Nanjo to his existence in p2ep. Iâve written multiple posts on Kandoriâs motivations, but bottom line, Kandori wanted to work against Nyarlathotepâs plans as much as he believed his fate would allow him to. Kandori had infinite strength and should have been the impenetrable stronghold that kept Tatsuzou safe. He is the only boss in the entire game to not have a low health stance, and he resists everything. Heâs able to catch Tatsuyaâs sword with one hand, as Tatsuya says:
âKandori tilts his face out of the way, and when my blade grazes his ear, he grabs it with his left hand. All I have to do is pull back, and itâll cost him his fingers. He gives me a broad, natural smile. However, even when I yank it with all my strength, my sword doesnât move a centimeter. Itâs like itâs caught in a vise.â
Kandoriâs revival should not have been found out by anyone (especially since everyone watched him die the first time). But somehow, the word leaked back to Nanjo. Itâs not impossible to think that it was Togashi who leaked the information, but thereâs a line of Kandoriâs that really makes me think Kandori himself was the source.
Once Maya et. al + Tatsuya arrive on the Nichinmaru, Kandori says that âall the players are in placeâ, implying that heâs the one who brought them all together like this. This was a very meticulously crafted plan, and it only couldâve worked if Nanjo heard of Kandoriâs revival, which leads me to believe that it was Kandori, not Togashi, who spread the rumors of his own revival.
while it may not be realistic, it is hilarious:Â Due to the high levels of contempt he feels for Tatsuzou, Iâd love to think that Kandori just fucks with Tatsuzou constantly. Heâll move all the furniture in Tatsuzouâs office just a few inches to the left, or heâll swap the position of some of the books on his shelf. Itâs infuriating to Tatsuzou bc Kandoriâs antics are just enough that he knows something is off, but he can never pinpoint exactly what it is. Kandori, meanwhile, insists that nothing is wrong, and convinces Tatsuzou that itâs just his old age getting to him.
heart-crushing and awful: I bet Kandori kept tabs on the P1 crew during his time under Tatsuzou. While heâs said to have an obsession with Tatsuya, thereâs no reason to believe that the care he showed for Maki in P1 went away, and heâs grateful to the P1 cast for saving her. I like to think that Kandori found out that Reijiâs going to have a child, and stashed away a large amount of money (bonus points if he embezzled from Tatsuzou) to send to him, especially since Reijiâs girlfriendâs house collapsed. Kandori doesnât sign his name on it or anything, so the money arrives to Reiji in an unmarked envelope, with only Reijiâs name written on it.
Reiji first thinks that it might have been Nanjo who sent the money (because that envelope is packed, and Nanjo is the only person he knows rich enough to send that much). Nanjo denies this, and after a while, the two of them come to the conclusion that the only other possible person could have been Kandori. Reiji thankfully accepts the money, and this whole incident reinforces in his mind that âTakashiâ was the right name to choose for his son.
unrealistic: In order to cope with the boredom and emptiness he felt as SEBECâs Mikage-Cho branch president, Kandori set up a secret room in SEBEC filled with video game consoles. During the height of his depression, Kandori would just be so engrossed in his games that he would forget he has actual meetings to go to. Cue Takeda apologizing profusely to clients, saying that Kandoriâs running a bit late, and Takeda has to practically drag Kandori by the collar out of the little gamer den that heâs created for himself.
Maki
realistic:Â After her training under Eriko, she realizes that she misses painting and wants to pick it up again. She eventually incorporates that into her profession, becoming an art therapist.
while it may not be realistic, it is hilarious: Maki really wants to be good at baking, but sheâs terrible at it. You know, like this:
She knows that sheâs created a monstrosity but at least itâs still edible, right? So she brings these to P1 cast reunions. Nanjo is just appalled, and has to excuse himself because he knows heâs just going to be too blunt (prompting Mark to call him a âdickweedâ again). Yuka, having no filter, just straight up says how horrible they look, but then she offers to teach Maki how to bake, since sheâs pretty damn good at it herself.
heart-crushing and awful:Â Maki definitely regrets not accompanying Maya to the Nichinmaru. She doesnât blame Nanjo/Eriko for not being able to save Kandori, but ever since she heard that Kandori was alive again, sheâs wanted nothing more than to talk to him again.
She thinks that if she were there at the undersea ruins, maybe she could have convinced him to come along with her. This regret is just going to add to the massive amounts of guilt she feels over the Mikage-Cho incident.
unrealistic: It took ideal Maki a while to perfect her âcringeâ negotiation. When she first tried it, she would burst out laughing too much, absolutely ruining it, and angering a lot of demons along the way.
Paz
realistic:Â Kaz has constantly asked her to come feed treats to Nuke with him. Sheâs always agreed, because thatâs the role sheâs supposed to play, but she really hates it at first. Eventually, as she comes to like Kaz more, it becomes the highlight of her day, and she begins to really look forward to it. She finds herself prolonging Nukeâs feeding sessions, just so she can spend more time with Nuke and Kaz.
while it may not be realistic, it is hilarious:Â So you know how Paz couldnât stand Kaz at first? She wasnât exactly subtle about it, so everyone at MSF knew that Paz thought Kaz was an enormous idiot. Cecile was so happy to find someone else who felt that way about Kaz (and sheâs always wanted a reason to get closer to Paz), so she goes to Paz to air her grievances about what a pest Monsieur Miller is being. Paz, meanwhile, does not give a single shit. She still thinks Cecile is just a ditz, and now sheâs irritated that she has to deal with both Kaz and Cecileâs annoying antics.
heart-crushing and awful: Iâve thought about this for a long time. I really have. But there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can be any more awful than what we got in canon. I have a lot of characters that fall under the âdeserved betterâ category, but Paz takes the top of that list.
Paz is a unique character in Metal Gear in that she was not supposed to have anything to do with war. Other charactersâ lives in the series were intertwined with war, whether by choice or by fate. Even characters like Chico or Sunny were born into it, given their parents and upbringing.Â
Itâs never clear how Zero was able to come in contact with Paz, but I think it was intentional to never specify it. Itâs not important to know how Zero found Paz, because fundamentally, Paz is not an important person. Sheâs nobody special. She was literally just some random orphan living in the US, and Zero went out of his way to drag her into his plans.
To me, Pazâs character parallels the child soldiers in Zanzibar Land. Theyâre both representative of how ruthless Zero and Big Boss were in their quests to fulfill their interpretations of the Bossâ will. Zero and Big Boss were both willing to employ any tactic possible to reach this end goal, and they didnât care about the pain and destruction they left in their path.
But I digress...
That being said, I think Paz felt sick when she saw MSF soldiers playing with the mini remote-controlled ZEKE that Huey had built. For her, it was just a reminder of the duty that she had to carry out. She wasnât allowed to be happy at MSF, and she eventually would have to fight to the death with Snake.
unrealistic: Writing Love Deterrence with Kaz and Zadornov made her want to learn how to play the guitar. In my totally self-indulgent âZero and Skull Face both get brain aneurysms and drop dead 4 days before Peace Dayâ AU, Paz approaches Kaz and asks him to give her guitar lessons.
Kaz
realistic:Â The morning after the monthly birthday party at MSF (you know, where Kaz invited everyone to see the real Kazuhira Miller?), heâs embarrassed as hell. He been so protective of Paz the entire night, and it turned out he was the crudest person at the party. He goes to apologize to Paz, and can barely look her in the eyes as heâs doing so. Paz, meanwhile, canât stop laughing. Her opinion of Kaz had been softening ever since he visited her when she was sick, but interacting with him during the party had really made her like him. Kaz still feels a bit of shame, but upon seeing Paz genuinely laugh for the first time, he canât help but feel so publicly embarrassing himself was all worth it.
while it may not be realistic, it is hilarious: MORE 90S FOXHOUND PETTINESS
The first year that both Big Boss and Kaz are at FOXHOUND, Kaz bakes a cake for BBâs birthday. As BB accepts the cake, he wonders if Kaz has forgiven him, but then he looks down at it and sees
And these are the cheapest, shittiest cigarettes that Kaz could make, because you know his petty ass rolled them himself. BB picks up a cigarette and itâs so sloppily rolled that it immediately falls apart and the tobacco spills all over the cake and the floor and BB looks up to Kaz and Kaz is just smiling back like
heart-crushing and awful:Â Ohoho, I have many thoughts as to Master Millerâs life post-Zanzibar Land and his final moments. Now that Big Boss is finally dead, Kazâs life loses all meaning. Skull Face, Huey, Big Boss, theyâre all dead, and suddenly, the decades of anger he carried with him has nowhere to channel itself to. I think he becomes an empty shell of a man, just sort of running on autopilot.
So when Ocelot breaks into Kazâs house to kill him, you absolutely know that Ocelot wasnât discrete about it. Thereâs no way that Ocelotâs overdramatic cowboy ass didnât gloat about it, to show that he was able to get the upper hand in the end.
Kaz just doesnât care.
Kazâs life is plagued with regrets. While none of it was intentional, his impulsivity and short-sightedness has really screwed over a lot of people and absolutely destroyed so many peopleâs lives. I think when Ocelot came to kill Kaz (and Iâm going to toss in a bit of torture, just because Ocelotâs petty ass remembers Kaz complaining about Ocelotâs getting âtoo many kicks from his âart of interrogationââ), Kaz just resigned and doesnât even attempt to fight back. He knows that this is a sad and undignified way to die, but he believes that this is karma and he deserves it.
unrealistic: Okay Iâve talked about this a little, but I want to add to it.
Kaz absolutely kept a Burn Book like in Mean Girls.
After MGSV, Big Boss and Ocelot make their way in the book as well. Underneath Ocelotâs picture, Kaz writes âToo gay to function. Also, cowboys are stupid.â BB has got 5 whole pages dedicated to him, but the line that Kaz is most proud of is âDidn't shower for a month... during SUMMER, and to this day still hasn't washed his hair.â
Thank you for asking!
send me a character and iâll give you some headcanons
#OH LORD THIS IS SO LONG I'M SORRY#mg#p1#p2#takahisa kandori#maki sonomura#paz ortega andrade#kazuhira miller#also now i want to rewatch mean girls#i saw the shower quote in the burn book and immediately thought of bb#also how can you not hear the 'too gay to function' line and NOT think of ocelot#90s foxhound x mean girls crossover#is it a surprise that these two are my fave duos ever?#the parallels between them#heartbreaking#thinking of zero as nyarlathotep#very juicy food for thought#answered
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Pssst. What's your favorite dumb image/meme?
Aww geeze i dunno if I have just one. I love a whole bunch of classic vines. Memes though oof there so many let me think. Thereâs so many. âThey had us in the first halfâ & âso that was a fkn lieâ & the âwackâ and âwhy would X do this?â Eric Andre meme, free real estate, sometimes things that are expensive are worse, âthat doesnât sound right but I donât know enough about X to dispute it,â the conspiracy itâs always sunny thing, the blinking white guy & the judge mental/disappointed 3-part image of the same dude. âWhy werenât you at elf practice?!â The Kronk âitâs all coming togetherâ and âby all accounts, it doesnât make sense.â âLooks like X is BACK ON THE MENU boys!â & âNever thought Iâd die side by side with an X,â Cat reaction pics, âThis is beautiful. Iâve looked at this for five hours now,â âAh shit here we go again,â the gif of that basketball player shaking his head & then being like âoof wait u rightâ and nodding, the gif from the black bush skit where he knocks over a pitcher of water & flees a conference table, Paul Rudd going âOH SHITâ while the screen wobbles out of control then zaps back to normal & he goes âIâm fine,â âarenât you tired of being nice(and/or tired of going ape shitâdonât you wanna be nice? Both vers good), emotional support X, act natural. âYou are all so stupid,â âitâs about the cones/itâs about the X,â The list goes on. Iâm just a big slut for memes. >u< I think these are my two faves Iâve ever made myself:

The Michael & Laurie & Loomis one took a while lol. But tbh I donât have a fave reaction image or meme Iâm sorry thereâs too many good ones. I love Toby Maguire spider-man crying. The Ben Wyatt: Human Disaster turned into X other character Human Disaster is great. Sometimes it wonât even be a meme itâll just be a super fun funny image one person made/drew that shoots me so dead I add it to my phoneâs camera roll eternally to just have on handâcase in point, these 3:



Also shoutout to this image for capturing like no other a mood Iâve felt a lot this year lol.
So yeah I know âI donât have oneâ is like the literally worst answer to âwhatâs your favoriteâ but my heart is just very full of memes I love them allâwell, noâbut I love so many. TuT if I have an epiphany Iâll add it later but as far as my brain will inform me, I just have like 50 faves. At least you got to be reminded of like a whole household of funny images reading this though! đ
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no one else has reblogged ask meme Mondays so I'm just going fucking apeshit with u. from the big boy: b7 for raini bc it's funny, c1 for cog bc it's inchresting, h3 for brilliance bc I know there's some gay shit going on and I want to hear more, then a17 (character proud of themselves or ur proud of ur rp as them) L5 and L6 for whomsoever u want to talk about
I wonât need a readmore for this one, I tell myself. Thereâs not that many questions, and theyâre not proseboys. I was a fool. Sheâs too long to be allowed to run on peopleâs dashboards unrestrained đ Thank you! For going apeshit!!
Raini
B7. How do they respond to babies crying in public? I guarantee the image you have for how Raini would react to a crying baby is 10000% correct. Sheâs unhappy. Uncomfortable. Unimpressed. Can you please make that thing be quiet. Why did you have it if you canât mange it. This is why sheâs never having kids. Like sheâs not gonna say anything to the parents or shoot them dirty looks, because sheâs not that specific flavor of asshole, but sheâs going Mind Her Business and vacate the premises if possible. People who want to take care of something should just get a cat. Goddamn. There is ONE (1) baby that may qualify for an exception, and thatâs Red. This is because (and please, picture Raini, the absolute picture of âfed upâ, squatting down to look a fussy Red in the eye while she says this) âBaby Lent. Youâre better than this. I know you are, and youâre letting me down. You need to stop making that noise.â This is unrelated to the question, but please also picture a Raini who was asked (blackmailed?) into babysitting using her Mage Hand to change Redâs diaper. It has nothing to do with the question but I think itâs a Very funny mental image. Thank you.
Cog
C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it? Absolutely! The way Cog approaches the world is defined by three main mantras: - Kindness is a discipline, not a character trait. - Doing the right thing isnât always easy, but it is always worth doing. - If you are able to help someone, you have an obligation to do so. Between these three things, Cog sees the world in pretty black and white terms. There are right decisions, and wrong ones. The difference between the two is usually clear to anyone who cares to look, and so most of the evil in the world is born of selfishness. Consequently, Cog does very poorly in morally grey situations. She will commit without hesitation to any course of action that she deems ârightâ and âkindâ no matter how drastic or dangerous it is, but she pretty much shuts down the second sheâs faced with a decision that has consequences for someone regardless of what she does. Iâm sure that has not, and will not, come in her life ever at all. Ahah! I think originally, this worldview was born of naivety. She grew up that religious kind of super sheltered where everything in the secular world was dangerous and dirty, and so when Cog began to realize that definitely wasnât the case she made the choice to intentionally see the best in people and the world around her to fight what she was told growing up. When she started traveling with her party and actually seeing more of the world than the extremes of a) shitty cult town b) shiny clean magic school, she began to realize that the true state of the Wasteland was somewhere between what her Mama had told her and what she wanted to believe it was. But Iâve never in my life made a character who is stubborn as hell deep down, so instead of letting the world she found herself in change her Cog took a deep breath, rolled up her sleeves, and settled in to be the one changing it by loving and helping the people around her.
Brilliance
H3. Does your OC believe thereâs only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right? I think Brilliance absolutely adores the idea of two people being made for one another. Two souls, wandering the world looking for one another? Who slot together so perfectly that when they find each other itâs clear they never could have fit anywhere else? Bruh. Yes, she knows love takes work. Sometimes you and your partner are going to disagree, and sometimes thereâs going to be conflict. The world isnât âlove at first sightâ then smooth sailing for the rest of your life. But you put in the work to make your lives better, together, because the universe gave you this person to care for. Maybe there are many people who you could be happy with, and those relationships arenât anything to look down on. But when you find The One, Brilliance thinks, you know. She certainly did.
Donât Worry About It
A17. Whatâs one of your OCâs proudest moments of themselves? Gonna hijack this question to talk about rp moments Iâm proud of because Alex sorta kinda gave me permission to do that! Alright! For Raini, the biggest rp moment Iâm proud of was her âIâm getting our memories backâ speech a few sessions ago, specifically the line, âWeâve been fighting with one hand tied behind our backs for too long. If weâre going to die fighting this thing, I want to know exactly what Iâm fighting for.â Morgan and I had been planning to kick off our return from July Hell Hiatus with Wish Two for a couple of days, which meant I was lucky enough to be able to spend a little while planning what to say. I feel like that line in particular embodies Rainiâs unwavering confidence in her magic, her determination, and her specific brand of caring for the people around her without actually admitting thatâs what sheâs doing. I also really liked the way the scene of her apologizing to the party for being Bitchy post losing Magic for a minute went! Idk if anyone else remembers it, because it was pretty short in game, but! I thought it was a very good moment of Raini finding the most Roundabout way to say âthank you for looking out for me while I was defenselessâ. If I can pat myself on the back a little, my Cog monologues kick Ass. The most recent one was when she was talking to Ace about how War is Bad (radical, I know) and there was a moment where she looked at him and said, â...Iâm not going to ask for your help, because I donât know what Iâll do if I do and you say no.â Which. OOF. That was her and I realizing in real time that she and Ace were very much on different sides of this issue. When the session ended everyone said they Loved how good and hurtful that conversation was and I :â) Also, there was a really small moment when Cog was pleading for Maeloâs life (when Sunnyâs dad had him locked in a cat carrier. Itâs a Long story, made slightly better by the fact that Maelo was wildshaped into a cat at the time) and Cog went Straight for the dad heartstrings by sniffling and asking if, please, would Robert at least let her say goodbye to her friend before he killed him? Please? đąÂ She is using her baby face for EVIL! And oh my god how could I forget! Arcane Timeout! When the party went back to New Alexandria and was confronted by Ace for helping a prisoner escape (which, in fairness, Maelo did do) and Cog brought the encounter screeching to a halt by casting Wall of Stone to make a timeout hut with herself and Ace inside. She then sat herself down, looked Ace dead in the eye, and told him that the wall wasnât coming down until he actually talked to her, or until he broke her concentration on the spell. She banked hard on him not being willing to hurt her, and it paid off. There were tears all around, both in and out of character. It was Wonderful. Also! I do just want recognition for the fact that I did not give into my impulses to be a little Shit as Cog last session by subtle casting Heal in Aceâs face after he Counterspelled my Healing Word. it was what I Rebekah wanted to do more than anything; unfortunately Cog is a better person than I am. There is No worse feeling than wanting so badly to do something you have no choice but to admit isnât in character. Rip. For whatever reason, all of my favorite Brilliance rp moments came during combat. Pressing her forehead to Sabreâs after he died in silent grief, forcefully taking a Narzugon off his Nightmare and then using Misty Step to mount it herself and take off after her friend, planting herself in the chokepoint of a hallway to stare down three minotaurs so she could keep her party safe behind her, pushing deeper into the hellwasp nest to rescue Dembe and Sabre despite knowing that doing so all but destroyed her chance of making it out alive, the list goes on. There were good out of combat moments too (despite the rest of the partyâs best efforts đ), but I feel like for once I made a character who really shone in combat. oh GOD I just remembered one really really good rp moment, when our rogue Zihro died when he got separated from the party during combat. We finished taking care of the main devil we were fighting, then began searching the dungeon for Zihro and the npc he was with. We, instead, found both of their corpses. Dembe looked to Brilliance, our healer, and demanded to know why she was just standing there instead of fixing their friend. We were only level three or four at the time, so Brilliance had to tell Dembe, again and again, that she couldnât fix Zihro. It was too late, she wasnât powerful enough yet, her goddess wouldnât answer a prayer like that- It was a rough scene, and without question one of the best rp moments Iâve had with that group. Tae, if youâre reading this, youâre the only one with rights. Also, please unfollow this blog immediately. Now as a quick pick-me-up after that mess, Pipâs best rp moment was when our barbarian Durokal -who couldnât read and had a habit of running off and causing Problems- found a plaque he could tell had five words on it, and called Pip over to read it for him when Pip finished chasing him down. Pip, annoyed and out of breath and all of two feet tall, looked up at this 7 foot half-orc and told him, âIt says: Iâm. Gonna. Kick. Your. Ass.â Also, he regularly called very powerful figures in Barovia by sweet nicknames with âMr.â in the front. As a sign of Respect. Because heâs the Best. sdfhsdkfj he also he couldnât think of a fake name quick enough one time so he told an npc that is name was Dick and he was Very embarrassed about it. She: bought it!
Brilliance, Again
L5. Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally?  AKA, which is supposed to a âgood guyâ? The answer is Cog, but we already went in depth on her morals this ask. Sheâs HAD enough screen time letâs move on. Brilliance is the only other character who, if asked, would say they saw themselves as a good guy instead of just âa personâ. She strives to do right by the people around her, and to protect the light and beauty found in the world. She doesnât have the same illusions about the world wanting to be a good place that Cog does, and she very much understands that sometimes the best thing you can do for the world is to put the things that make it dangerous six feet under. Whatâs interesting I think is that, despite being a paladin, she isnât Lawful Good! Sheâs Neutral Good, because you know what? She wants to do the right thing, and laws arenât always right. Itâs up to you, as a person with a mind and free will and agency, to look at a situation and decide what you think is the right thing to do. And, for Brilliance, generally the right thing to do is heft her sword, raise her shield, and face trouble head on.
Raini, Once More
L6. Which OC do you think is the worst morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to be a âbad guyâ? I donât have any evil aligned characters, because I personally find things like âgetting along with my party membersâ sexy, but the character whoâs the shittiest and the worst is obviously Raini. Sheâs not a bad person per say, sheâs just selfish and results oriented. Very much âthe ends justify the meansâ and in a party like hers sheâs aware that somebody has to be the bad guy sometimes, and sheâs not afraid to make sure thatâs her. Sheâs also very very likely to fall victim to her hubris making her feel like she definitely knows whatâs best, and acting on that maybe without consulting other people (see: the whole fucking premise of the campaign). She sees a goal, she sees a way to accomplish that goal, so why shouldnât she begin taking the necessary steps to reach it? I think the events of the game have mellowed this flaw out a little bit, but you can still see traces of it in the way she, for example, wordlessly handed Lent a bunch of diamonds before launching her consciousness into the Abeast and very nearly dying in there without consulting with the party first. It happens! Also, behaviorally, sheâs just. I mean. Sheâs like that. The worst. And that, I promise, will never change.Â
#syn-odics#Rainivere#amnesia campaign#cog#wasteland campaign#brilliance#dia#word count: 2273#new tag! just for my own personal edification#answered#mine
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Six Baudelaires AU, Part Three: Reference Guide
A quick guide for everything I intentionally referenced in The Six Siblings, Thatâs Not How the Story Goes.
{ao3} {tumblr}Â {part one reference guide} {part two reference guide}
Without further adoâŠ

Chapter One / Prologue - in which the Baudelaires get lost at the train stationÂ
âWeâre dead as heck.â Nick shrugged.
Considering the younger age of the children here, they use much lighter swear words.
Klaus had his hands over his ears, and he looked on the edge of tears. âItâs too loud! Itâs too loud!âÂ
Klaus is overstimulated.Â
They were in some kind of shoeshop, and a ginger man glanced at them. âOh, hello!â he said. âAre you- where are your parents?â [...] âWhen did you see them last?â [...] âWhy donât you have some snacks? Itâs all vegan, if-âÂ
The shoemaker that helps them out is Drumstick from File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents, who is noted to have made money repairing shoes.Â
âLilac is almost-nine,â Klaus said, âAnd sheâs got two braids cause she wants to be like Wednesday Addams on TV.âÂ
The Wednesday Addams reference should be obvious, though I should point out that Lilac wants to emulate the 1960s Wednesday, which is the one sheâs seen on TV; the older show once again makes the time period ambiguous.Â
âOh my God.â Beatrice was saying. âOh my God, oh my God, oh my God.â âKids, are you alright?â Bertrand asked, the second they pulled away. âDid anything happen?âÂ
Pretty clearly, the Baudelaire parents were terrified that VFD had abducted their children while they were separated.Â
âNo! No, weâre gonna be fine!â Lilac said quickly. âWe just need to find Klaus and Nick. I⊠Iâve gotta find them. Iâm in charge. Iâve gotta find them-âÂ
Ah, Lilacâs already got Anxietyâą.
Rest of the fic under the cut.

Chapter Two - in which Violet saves everyoneâs asses
No major references in this chapter.Â
Chapter Three - in which Sunny cusses quite a bit
âTheir species can completely freeze over in cold temperatures.â Solitude assured him. âSo they may stop moving, almost look dead, but theyâll be alright, and theyâll unfreeze when we get somewhere warm. Weâll have to catch them up on whatever happens.â
Babbittâs based off of a wood frog, which do freeze in low temperatures.Â
Also to note: by this point in the fanfiction, Solitude no longer uses babytalk, and instead speaks in full sentences.Â
Chapter Four - in which the Baudelaires join the Snow Scouts
âOh, yes.â Klaus said. âThose snow gnats behaved like Violent Frozen Dragonflies.â âGuysâŠâ Nick whispered, but none of them heard him.
Nick is not a fan of VFD at this point, but his siblings are too busy trying to get help from this scout that they donât immediately notice his discomfort.Â
As her story continued, Nick pulled on Klausâs sleeve, gesturing that he wanted to talk, but Klaus shook his head; the other Snow Scouts would notice them leaving.
Trying to tell Klaus something about VFD.Â
âI mean it.â Nick shook his head. âThings canât ever go back to the way they were. Even if one- or both- of our parents is up there, and they shove Olaf off a cliff and take us home⊠itâs not going to be the same. We⊠we know too much.â His siblings remained silent, processing this, as Nick wiped his eyes on his sleeve. âThey wonât protect us.âÂ
Nick knows how VFD recruits its âvolunteersâ; his fear is that their parents are alive and consented to them being recruited, and will just turn them over to VFD.Â
Chapter Five - in which Nick gets to climb something againÂ
She hmmed, brushing her bangs out of her face as she considered what she could make with all of this.Â
Sunny already has long hair that sheâll need to tie back while thinking, like her big sisters.Â
Sunny held out the mug of orange juice, and said, âAurantiaco,â which meant, âChip away at the juice until you have shavings, so I can make orange granita.âÂ
âAurantiacoâ is derived from the Latin adjective âaurantiacusâ, meaning âorange.â
Chapter Six - in which Sunny makes a signalÂ
Quigley gave her a smile, and then looked back down, as the Baudeaires crowded around him- all except Lilac, who was still staring at the smoke. âWell, weâll have to go back through the Vernacularly Fastened Door, down the Vertical Flame Diversion, hike the path the Snow Scouts are taking- and they might notice weâre gone by now so weâll have to come up with some excuse, Duncan always said you could never go wrong with an exit pursued by a bear-âÂ
A reference to a famous stage direction from William Shakespeareâs The Winterâs Tale.
Chapter Seven - in which Lilac goes feralÂ
Nick bit his lip and pushed a charred novel back onto the shelf, before moving to scratch his arm.
TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM MENTION
Once again, Nickâs arm scratching occurs whenever Olaf or his troupe are mentioned.Â
Klaus walked over, too, and he pulled his siblings into a hug. âWeâll protect each other.â he said. âOkay? No sacrificing ourselves, no kidnappings, no separations. No more.âÂ
Klaus really wants to make sure Lilac doesnât try to trade herself, like she tried to do with Nick.Â
âLilac, seriously, I canât breathe-â âThen suffocate.âÂ
A reference to the popular meme:
âWe hate to interrupt!â came Lilacâs voice, and Violet and Quigley turned to see her and the twins run back into the kitchen, âBut we found something!â
Lilac: YâALL BETTER NOT BE FLIRTING IN HERE
Chapter Eight - in which the Baudelaires raid the fridgeÂ
Solitude looked up. âSure, hon.â
A reference to the meme:

âI was making them an anniversary present- a map of all the places theyâd traveled.â Quigley sighed. âAnd I never got to tell them that I donâtâŠâ he hesitated, and then said, âI mean, Duncan and Isadora came out to them, but I never told them that whenever I was doing astronomy class and called myself a space aceâŠâ Violet laughed, and Quigley flinched. âNo, no, Iâm not making fun of you, itâs a good pun, Iâll have to make sure Nick knows it.âÂ
Quigley and Nick are both asexual.Â
âI think my parents found out when I told them I wanted to marry both Elizabeth and Darcy.â Violet smiled. âLilac and Nick teased me about that for years. I donât even know if they remember now.â Quigley stared at her. âHoly shit. Vi⊠I said the same thing.âÂ
A reference to Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.Â
Violet is bisexual, Quigley is biromantic.
Nick slid against a half-collapsed wall, screaming into his lap, hot tears springing to the edge of his eyes and streaming down his face.Â
TRIGGER WARNING: PTSD, SELF-HARM
Nick goes away to have a panic attack without his siblings worrying about him; itâs also explained in this segment how his scratching is him desperately trying not to slip into a flashback.Â
Chapter Nine - in which Lilac and Nick are very pissed offÂ
âNocere!â Sunny said, which meant something like, âIâm alright, they havenât done anything too bad.â
âNocereâ comes from the Latin verb ânoceoâ, meaning âto hurt.âÂ
âUncus!â âThe hook-handed man made it so I didnât freeze.âÂ
âUncusâ is the Latin word for âhook.âÂ
And then she asked, âSenio?â which meant, âWhere are the others?â
âSenioâ is the Latin word for âsix.â
âNosra,â Sunny said, which meant, âA man with a beard but no hair and a woman with hair but no beard; theyâre arsonists who burned down the Headquarters.âÂ
âNosraâ is âarsonâ spelled backwards.Â
âCoquus.â Sunny said. âI can do that. Thereâs enough ingredients to make spinach rolls in the trunk, including an eggplant thatâs about as big as I am.âÂ
âCoquusâ is the Latin word for âcook.â
âI know, Vi! I know what theyâll do to her, what theyâre probably already doing to her!âÂ
Obvious reference to Nickâs time as a captive, but subtler reference to the fact that Olaf tortured him with the information of what heâd do to each sibling in turn.Â
âYes, she is!â his voice broke. âI was helpless! I thought I wouldnât be, but I was! And sheâs a baby! I was almost thirteen!â Tears streamed down his face, as he pushed her again. âI was almost thirteen, and I was wrong!âÂ
Reference to a similar line spoken in every All the Wrong Questions book.Â
Chapter Ten - in which Nick spills some Bitter TeaÂ
Title is a reference to Kitâs quote, âTea should be as bitter as wormwood and sharp as a two-edged sword.âÂ
âSure.â Nick said. âWe can be Volunteers who want to recruit our innocent little baby. Theyâll believe that.âÂ
A reference to VFD recruitment tactics.Â
âIsa had a huge collection of what me and Duncan called âgoth poetry.ââ Quigley said, smiling. âShe likes to recite, too. Verbal stim.âÂ
Isadora (and all the Quagmires in my headcanons) is Autistic. Nick has ADHD and also stims with recitation.Â
âItâs not. Snicketâs real. And heâŠâ Nick shivered. âLetâs just say heâs definitely real. Maybe even still alive.âÂ
âHeâs real and he fathered my oldest sister.â
Thatâs when they heard the crash, and Esmeâs scream. They all fell silent for a second, and then Nick let Quigley go.Â
An intentional combination of the Book version of this scene - where they decide to warn Esme- and the Netflix - where she traps herself.Â
There was a flash of recognition, and then she smirked. âWell, well, well.â she said. âIf it isnât Beatriceâs little angel.â Nickâs hand flew to his necklace, as his glare intensified. âFancy seeing you here, I thought you were supposed to be smashed at the bottom of the mountains.âÂ
Something Olaf called him in Chapter Fourteen of Part Two; Nick was very close to Beatrice, whom Olaf and Esme both despise, so you can bet they took a lot of their anger on her out on him.Â
âFancy seeing you here.â Nick said. âI thought you were supposed to be somewhere in the second circle of hell, but I guess you canât have everything, can you?âÂ
In Danteâs Inferno, the second circle of hell is the circle of Lust.Â
âWhy heâs here doesnât matter.â Nick said, and then he smiled very coldly and said, âWhat matters is youâre our hostage now, so Iâd suggest you shut the fuck up and do what we tell you to do.âÂ
Was going to make this more obvious in the text but decided against it, so hereâs a fun fact: this is something that was said to Nick during is captivity. Heâs getting a lot of joy out of saying it to Esme.Â
Chapter Eleven - in which Carmelita gets adopted
Nick took a deep breath, and then said, his voice breaking, âDonât act like I donât know what youâd do to her. If you have laid a single fucking hand on my sister, there will be hell to pay.â
Once again, a reference to Olaf torturing Nick with information on what he planned to do to the other Baudelaires.Â
âWhy are you recruiting us, too?â Colette asked, peering from the net. âWe already work for you.âÂ
Changed from Fernald to Hugo, Colette and Kevin in order to explain their absence in TGG.
Esme glared at him. âWe donât need that ugly girl. Having an infant servant was fun.âÂ
TRIGGER WARNING: CSA MENTION
Esme knows about Olafâs attraction to Lilac/Violet and is jealous, instead of being, you know, disgusted and horrified.Â
Carmelita just smiled and gave Esme a hug. She turned towards Olaf, starting forwards, and just then, Nick thrust Solitude into Violetâs arms and raced ahead of her, pushing her back.Â
Even though Nick hates Carmelita, he doesnât want her suffering like he did.Â

Chapter Twelve - in which Lilac is a Disaster Lesbian
âNo- she can curl up inside a diving helmet! Aye! The helmets have a tiny door on the neck just for such a purpose! Aye! Iâve seen it done!âÂ
Though this doesnât happen in-fic, this did happen in the original book lol.Â
âActually,â Nick sighed, laying his head on Klausâs shoulder as Soli wriggled around to try and get a good view of the captain, âHeâs the researcher, Iâm an⊠well, IâŠâÂ
Nickâs having an identity crisis brought on by the PTSD; heâs not sure who he is anymore.
âCome on, Lilac will be fine in a minute.â Nick said, elbowing Klaus. âShe just needs to time to adjust. You know. Like Sappho.âÂ
Sappho - a famous lesbian poet.Â
Chapter Thirteen - in which I bang my head against a table because I have to pay attention to WiddershinsÂ
âNo, no, we do!â Fiona looked ecstatic, and Lilac let out a squeal as Fiona grabbed her hands. âOne of our previous crewmembers, the one who later turned out to be stealing information on VFD headquarters, she stockpiled a shitton- oh, sorry, I mean a lot of coffee.â
The âspyâ may-or-may-not have been an anti-VFD Ellington Feint...Â
âNow, Iâm sure you have lots of questions.â Fiona said as they walked. âDefinitely.â Nick said. âNumber one, how d-âÂ
A reference to the meme/quote from âThe Officeâ (US) 4x11:Â

Chapter Fourteen - in which the Baudelaires encounter a Great Unknown
âLet Violet work on the wheel,â Klaus suggested, âAnd maybe Fiona can help Lilac with the telegraph.â
These kids are gonna get Lilac a girlfriend if it kills them.Â
âDonât worry,â the captain replied, âWeâll find a spouse for the others, too! Aye! Perhaps weâll find your long-lost brother, Fiona! Heâs much older, of course, and heâs been missing for years, but if Klaus can locate the Sugar Bowl he can probably find him! Aye! Heâs a charming man, so one of the girls would probably fall in love with him, and then we could have a double wedding! Aye! Right here in the main hall of the Queequeg! Aye! I would be happy to officiate! Aye!â âOkay, well,â Nick said, as everyone stared at each other incredibly uncomfortably and he finally made his way to stand beside Klaus, âThatâs not going to happen, for a number of reasons. First of all-âÂ
First of all, Klaus is gay.
Second of all, Fiona is gay.Â
Third of all, Lilac and Fiona are the ones flirting.Â
Fourth, everyoneâs too young to get married.Â
Fifth, Nick is aromantic.Â
Sixth, âyour older long-lost brotherâ is not a good phrase to throw around to a group of children whoâve been trying to escape a man who tried to marry Lilac.Â
Seventh, your children are not fucking prizes to hand out???
Eighth, what the fuck dude.Â
Chapter Fifteen - in which Lilac and Fiona are Gay as HellÂ
âI mean, you could call them King stropharia. I just like the scientific names. Theyâre fun to say.â âOh, thatâs completely valid.â Lilac smiled. âI learned Russian when I was younger just because the boys read Anna Karenina and all the names were fun to say.â
Autistic verbal stims!!
âLentinula Edodes.â Fiona said, smiling at some fungus growing on a hardwood log. âAlso known as Shiitake Mushrooms.â âShiitake?â âDonât start.â Fiona giggled.Â
It sounds vaguely like âshit.â
Lilac and Fiona returned to the dorms very late, arms linked together as they chatted about a book theyâd both enjoyed, about another sugar bowl whose contents were actually very well known.
A reference to We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson.
Nick, meanwhile, was passed out on a chair near the door, almost having fallen over; Lilac recognized this position quickly, from the many times he and Klaus or Violet would sit at the bottom of the stairs waiting for their parents to come home late at night. âHe was waiting for us.â
Nick was waiting up to talk to Lilac, probably to tell her about the Snicket Thing.Â
She carried him to a bunk, lowering him onto it. âGo back to being five years old, okay?â Lilac whispered, reaching over to grab a blanket. âWeâll lock you in the closet again and then make ice cream towers.âÂ
âLock you in the closetâ is a reference to the one-shot.Â
Ice Cream towers are a reference to the prologue of part two.
Lilac sighed and pulled the blanket over him. âYouâll be okay. You want me to sing?âÂ
All the references to Lilac singing someone to sleep are reference to the song âAsleepâ, performed by Emily Browning, Movie!Violetâs actress.Â
âGood or bad cry?â Lilac shut her eyes. âBoth.â she admitted.Â
Chefâs Salad.Â
Chapter Sixteen - in which the Crew goes swimmingÂ
They heard what sounded like a very suspicious watery noise, and Nick said, âIf this submarine is flooding, Iâll take one for the team and die first.â
Reference to this line from Part One, Chapter Four:Â âDo you think if one of us died, the restâd get transferred somewhere else?â Nick asked, hanging upside-down from the rotting couch. âIâll take one for the team.â
âNobodyâs dying.â Lilac sighed, not looking him in the eye.Â
Nickâs lowkey suicidal remark scared her quite a bit.Â
âHow about some of us stay here and do more research,â Violet suggested, squeezing Nickâs hand, âAnd the rest of us look for the Sugar Bowl? I can stay with Nick and try to work with the submarine. Nick, maybe you can dig through books and see if you can find anything on the Gorgonian Grotto, or the Great Unknown, and read it to me while I work.â [...]Â Heâd found something that seemed to be filed under the Great Unknown, but it was probably misfiled as it just talked about a tearoom and a roadster.Â
Probably my most blatant reference to Movie!Klausâs actor, Liam Aiken, narrating the All the Wrong Questions audiobooks.Â
âEkab!â Sunny said, which meant, âI can stay here and cook!âÂ
âEkabâ is âbakeâ spelled backwards.Â
âIâm sure someone did, aye.â Widdershins waved his hand. âWhoever got assigned the job. Perhaps R, or her daughter, they may have been nearby at the time. Or Larry, aye! We werenât told about who was in charge of you, just that we needed to document information and track the Sugar Bowl!âÂ
A reference to Jacquelyn (the Duchess of Winnipeg, making her either R or her daughter) and Larry Your-Waiter following the Baudelaires in the Netflix series.Â
âDonât you worry, Nicholas! Everythingâs for the Greater Good!"
While Widdershins usually calls him Nick, he slips up here, much like Poe always does; Nick hates being referred to as Nicholas.Â
âBesides, VFD wouldnât abandon you! Aye! Youâd be a great volunteer! Youâre a dedicated researcher! Aye! Youâre a saint! Aye! Youâre an angel! Aye! Youâre a-â Nick stared at him in horror, and then said, âI have to go!â and took off running.Â
Nick was already put on edge by this victim-blaming conversation, the revelation that multiple people couldâve helped him, his siblings leaving, the VFD cult stuff, and Widdershinsâs constant bullshit, but the use of the word âangelâ sets him off the edge; it reminds him too much of being referred to as âBeatriceâs Little Angel.âÂ
âOkay, so, I found a box of rubber bands.â Lilac sighed, sitting atop a chest. âAnd half a gun, a broken mirror, what might be a microphone, and a scattered notebook with sketches of some kind of snake.â Solitude peered over her shoulder, her arms full of bottles. âI donât recognize it.â she said sadly. âAlso, itâs not a snake. Itâs got legs, see there?âÂ
Lilac found sketches of the Bombinating Beast.Â
Chapter Seventeen - in which Violet doodlesÂ
âPrecisely.â Lilac said. âItâs something thatâs not a choice at all. Our Mother used to give us Hobsonâs Choices. Sheâd say, âLilac, you can dust the furniture, or I can play polka music all night.ââ
A reference to Lemony Snicketâs dislike of polka music in File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents.Â
âSheâd do that with the others, too.â Lilac recalled. âViolet could clean her room or weâd stand in the doorway and sing Row Your Boat, and Nick could be nice to guests or be made to read that third book about those kids in a maze, and Sunny could have a bath or a pink dress.âÂ
A reference to The Maze Runner: The Death Cure by James Dashner. I hated the entire series, but the third book was the worst.Â
TRIGGER WARNING: Following references for Chapter Seventeen discuss Nickâs self-harm in detail.
She ran a hand over her ponytail, and then she said, âNick, I will be right back, but you have to promise not to lock the door.âÂ
She is scared heâll lock her out and continue self-harming.Â
As soon as she was out of Nickâs sightline, she buried her head in her hands, struggling to remain calm. Donât freak out. Donât freak out. Help him now, freak out later. You need to help, Vi. Just keep moving.Â
Violet knows freaking out in front of Nick will just make him feel worse
Do the scary thing first, get scared later.Â
âNo come in!â Sunny shouted. âSurprise!âÂ
Sunnyâs preparing Violetâs cake.Â
âNodnaba,â Sunny said, and Violet heard her sliding from the counter. âHe and Widdershins stepped out a moment; theyâll be back soon.âÂ
âNodnabaâ is âabandonâ spelled backwards.Â
Widdershins and Phil have âstepped outâ, and either right now or very soon will be abandoning ship.Â
âCrayola,â Sunny said, which meant, âThereâs a whole box of markers right here, for writing labels on cannisters. Can you bring them back when youâre done?âÂ
Very obvious reference to Crayola art supplies.
âAlzatadispalle,â Sunny said, which meant, âEh, fine, I donât care about this submarine much anyway.âÂ
âAlzata di spalleâ is Italian for a shrug.Â
But she swirled the marker- a light blue color- around her brotherâs arm, until there was just a jumble of color. Then, an idea finally coming to her, she took a black marker and drew some squiggles above it, mirroring the shape of their Uncleâs prized snake, the Incredibly Deadly Viper. It felt like a lifetime since theyâd seen him.
A reference to Ink swimming through the sea at the end. Â
Violet took his hands, squeezing them softly. âWhen you feel⊠feel like you want to scratch without an itch, I want you to take these markers and draw where you⊠where you want to hurt. Do that instead. It should help. And if it doesnât, I want you to tell me, okay?âÂ
This is a legitimate coping mechanism for self-harm; drawing on skin with pens or markers.Â
Violet waited until he met her eyes, and she admitted, âAbout two years ago, I asked Father why he had pen drawings on his arm.âÂ
Bertrand dealt with depression and self-harming tendencies, as well. Violet was the only kid who knew, and only because she asked.Â
Chapter Eighteen - in which Solitude catches a cold
âI found a newspaper scrap.â Lilac said. âI, uh, read a bit. Maybe we could discuss what weâve read while we eat.â
She read the stuff about Fernald starting the fire.Â
âLike⊠âpoached eggâ means âhalf the battle.ââ Klaus said. âRemember when Nick used that metaphor and we punched him for it?âÂ
A reference to a tangent Lemony went on in this section of The Grim Grotto.Â
Soli nodded, passing Klaus the wasabi and Lilac two cannisters, and soon they put on their diving helmets, suiting up for their return journey. Solitude hmmed as Fiona helped her put her helmet back on, saying, âSandâs inside, I think.âÂ
The spores.
âSenso-orario,â Sunny said, which meant something like, âI fell asleep in the kitchen, and when I woke up, Phil and Widdershins still hadnât returned, and now I canât find them anywhere.âÂ
âIn Senso orarioâ is an Italian term for âclockwise.â âWiddershinsâ means âcounterclockwise.âÂ
Chapter Nineteen - in which Olaf is a dick
âHa ha ha heepa-heepa ho!â came a villainous laugh from the hallway, and within a few moments, Count Olaf entered, dressed in a similar suit of slippery material, only with a portrait of Edgar Guest instead of Herman Melville. âTee hee tort tort tort!â âNo, no,â Violet looked up, giving him a glare. âDonât do that.â
A reference to me not wanting to write Olafâs villain laughter for like three chapters.
He stepped closer, putting a hand on Fionaâs chin. Lilac gasped and ran forwards, slapping his arm away. âYou must be Fiona.â he said. âWhy, youâre all grown up! The last time I saw you, I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle.â Nick shot up his head, giving Olaf a glare that could have killed him. âGet away from her!âÂ
OLAFÂ đ ISÂ đ AÂ đ CREEP
Lilac and Violet glanced at each other, and then around, trying to spot an escape route. This, however, was a mistake; Olaf figured out very quickly what they were planning, and before they could do anything, he reached forwards and ripped Nick out of Klausâs grasp.Â
Once again, Olaf knows the kind of effect he has on Nick, and how protective of him the others are, and uses this to his advantage.Â
âMy henchperson will simply torture the information out of you.â He smirked down at Nick, who was shaking uncontrollably. âIsnât that right?â Nick didnât respond, barely keeping himself from sobbing.Â
Nickâs been captured again, with his siblings. Olaf is taunting him, heavily implying that heâs going to follow through on his threat to torture Nickâs siblings in front of him before killing him.Â
âUmore,â Sunny said, which roughly translated to, âGod, thatâs a mood.âÂ
âUmoreâ is an Italian word for âmood.âÂ
âWhat did we tell you, you little beast?â she hissed. âYou canât get away from us.âÂ
Most of Nickâs worst trauma came from âpunishmentsâ from when he tried to escape, which is why he panics whenever theyâre about to be caught.Â
âHoly fuck,â said a girl at the oars, âWhat the hell is wrong with you all?âÂ
Not really a reference but I just want to point out that none of these recruits have any context for this so theyâre probably just. seeing all these crazy shits saying whatever they wantÂ
âIâm getting tired of this.â Olaf said, waving his sword and gesturing at Nick. âYou all get to see the first brig, itâs deluxe, as it comes with a noose. I think we should put this one in the second brig for-âÂ
A reference to Netflixâs The Vile Village: Part Two.Â
âI think,â Olaf said, pressing his sword against Nickâs throat, âWe should put those two little rebels in with our little Nick.â Nick finally started to cry, tears streaming down his face as he almost collapsed, and Violet shouted, âYou bastard! Leave them alone!âÂ
Once again, Olafâs planning on following through on the threats that scared Nick so badly. Violet, the only one who knows about what Olaf threatened him with, is the first to start panicking.Â
Chapter Twenty - in which Lilac leads a jailbreakÂ
The title itself is a reference to Chapter Sixteen of Part One: in which Solitude leads a jailbreak.Â
Her younger brother finally pulled away, but only to run off to the corner of the small brig, where he leaned over and vomited onto the floor, barely keeping his own balance. Lilac jumped to her feet and dragged him towards the wall, as he shook more and clung to her arm. [...] Nick shuddered beside her, and he finally choked out, âIâm sorry! Iâm sorry!âÂ
Nick knows exactly what Olafâs threatening, and heâs falling back into a pure traumatized state; he doesnât think they can escape, he thinks heâs going to die while Olaf torments his siblings, and nothing is going to stop him.Â
âIâŠâ Lilac slid onto a hard bench, where Nick sat beside her and refused to stop clinging to her side. âI glanced at the locks on our way in. Theyâre ordinary enough pin-tumbler locks, so- hold on a moment. Nick, Nick, please-âÂ
A reference to a repeated phrase in When Did You See Her Last?
And then Lilac quietly sang, âPretty when the window blows, I love my tree in autumn⊠Like I love my tree in summer, like I love my tree in winter⊠They put me in a room, and I thought of you in autumnâŠâ She shut her eyes, humming the next line, and then she picked up again. Fiona kept working on the lock, and Nick kept clinging to Lilac, terrified to let go, and she kept singing. âPretty when you sing me a new song in autumn, or a new song in winter, or a new song in summerâŠâÂ
The song is âPretty When The Wind Blowsâ, sung by Emily Browning, Movie!Violetâs actress.Â
The line she hums is one that would definitely not cheer Nick up - âAnd Iâm sad I wonât see you again.âÂ
Violet leapt in front of her siblings, and Klaus reached out to grab Sunny, who honestly didnât look too worried.Â
Sunny is friends with Fernald, she knows he wonât do anything to them.Â
âWe could pretend the Great Unknown showed up and is about to eat everyone.â Violet said. âIâm sorry, do you have a small black statue that can imitate its call?â Fernald said. âWhy would I-âÂ
A reference to Violet and Klausâs escape in Netflixâs The Grim Grotto: Part Two. Â
A reference to the Bombinating Beast statue from All the Wrong Questions.
âSmelled like horseradish.â Sunny nodded.Â
Sunny, the chef, would remember.
Chapter Twenty-One - in which Fiona is VolatileÂ
âI-â Nick stuttered. âI know TS Eliot.â âMacavity,â Sunny said, which meant, âWasnât that from your musical phase?â
A reference to a song/character from Cats the Musical, based on a poetry book by TS Eliot. Â
âIâll make this simple.â Olaf smiled. âI could torture you until you tell me, or we can trade information- or a lack of information, if you so prefer.â Then, in a sickly sweet voice, he called, âNick?â [...] âWe donât make deals with bastards.â Lilac crossed her arms. Olaf smirked, eyeing her in a way that made her incredibly uncomfortable. âInteresting choice of words, my dear Lilac.â Nick sat up, horrified, as Olaf took a step closer to his oldest sister, and then he shouted, âItâs in the kitchen!âÂ
TRIGGER WARNING: CSA MENTION
Nick is terrified of Olaf hurting/assaulting Lilac, as well as outing her as Snicketâs daughter to everyone.Â
Sunny sighed and said, âCruciatu,â which meant, âCan they kill us now?âÂ
âCruciatuâ comes from the latin verb âcrucioâ, meaning âto torture.âÂ
âIâll be fine. If we get caught, we have a potential escape plan that involves a seaside town, a train, and a vineyard.â Fiona said. âAnd releasing a bunch of wild new recruits to perform chaos.âÂ
Firstly, a reference to the Thistle of the Valley train that goes out of Stainâd-by-the-Sea.
Secondly, a reference to Netflixâs The Grim Grotto: Part Two.Â
As she moved slowly towards the controls, Violet at her heels, Nick curled up on his chair, and he whispered to himself, âBut they were fucked up in their turn, by fools in old-style hats and coats⊠who half the time were soppy-sternâŠâ He hugged Solitude very close, shutting his eyes and trying not to think about everyone who had left. âAnd half at one anotherâs throats.âÂ
The poem later recited by Olaf in The End -Â âThis Be the Verseâ by Philip Larkin.Â
âMr Poe,â Klaus said, looking from the taxi to Poe, âHave you ever heard of a Hobsonâs choice?âÂ
âYou can either get in the taxi, or go with Mr Poe.â
The woman smiled at Lilac, as if sheâd asked the right question.Â
Another All the Wrong Questions reference.Â

Chapter Twenty-Two - in which Kit cannot drive
âSo,â Nick said, kicking his feet and glancing down at Soli, âAre we in agreement that we are âfuckedâ, a word which here means, âholy shitâ?â
Obvious reference to Lemony Snicketâs way of defining words.Â
They looked to each other, thinking hard. âWell,â Lilac finally said, âIn the few minutes weâve known her, Kit Snicket has broken at least nine safety laws, driven into a hedge, and seems intent on recruiting us to spy for a secret organization.â âI like her.â Violet decided. âMe, too.â Klaus added. âSame!â Sunny said.Â
A reference to similar lines in Netflixâs The Penultimate Peril: Part One.Â
âMother said she purchased it during intermission.â Lilac said. âShe said it was the most interesting time sheâd ever had at the opera, and she never wanted to forget it.â âIâm sure it was interesting.â Nick muttered, curling up a little.
Nick knows about the murder.
She moved behind Lilac, tying back her hair for her. âYou look just like your father.â Kit sighed, not noticing the flinch Nick made as he reached for some food to pass to Soli. [...]Â âReally?â Lilac asked, smiling a little. Sheâd never told that she looked like her parents.Â
She looks like Lemony.
Violet and Nick shared a quiet look, one that their siblings didnât quite understand, but the two of them read perfectly.
Violet and Nick, after Widdershinsâs shit, are very anti-VFD.Â
âThatâs fine.â Lilac assured her, reaching for a cup. âI like my coffee bitter.â âThat is surprising.â Kit said absent-mindedly, still looking through papers.
Considering Lilac is Lemonyâs daughter, and Lemony doesnât like coffee (All the Wrong Questions), this comes as a surprise to Kit.
âThatâs why youâll be together.â Kit said, putting her hand gently over Nickâs. âIâve received reports on your progress, Baudelaires, and while I havenât been able to reach you, I have seen that you take care of your own.â [...]Â Kit gave them all a reluctant and sad smile, and then repeated, almost to herself, âYou Baudelaires take care of your own.â
A reference to a line from When Did You See Her Last?: âWe Snickets take care of our own.âÂ
Chapter Twenty-Three - in which the Baudelaires enter the Hotel DenouementÂ
Nick bit his lip, thinking about everything. VFD. The secrets. The Sugar Bowl. That reminded him of a book Lilac read him. âWeâll live on the moon.â he said quietly, his voice almost blank. âAnd weâll have flying horses.â God, he wished he was still young enough to believe that.
A direct reference to We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson.
When it was time to go in, Klaus and Lilac immediately threw their hands over their ears.
Overstimulation.Â
Exactly six bells were ringing- the extra bell, 371, 547, 674, 781 and 954.Â
371 - Dewey Decimal Classification (DDC) Education and Social Sciences.Â
547 - DDC for Organic Chemistry; Coletteâs mission involves her sneaking in here.Â
674 - DDC for Lumber processing.Â
781 - DDC for Jazz is 781.65; Ellingtonâs career has something to do with jazz. Â
954 - DDC for India and neighboring countries; itâs an Indian restaurant.Â
Chapter Twenty-Four - in which the first three bells ringÂ
The woman smiled, and while Lilac did not recognize the white coat or black uniform underneath, she did recognize the woman standing in front of her, even though she wasnât bending in any unusual positions. [...] âYou see, I am a brilliant chemist, as you can tell from my outfit, but Iâm afraid some of these fumes have gone to my head, and Iâm having trouble recognizing some words here.âÂ
A reference to Cleo Knight, the brilliant chemist from All the Wrong Questions, who only wears black-and-white to honor the family ink business.Â
âI told you theyâd judge us.â Kevin said. âI shouldâve just called up my old gangmate.â âShe wouldnât have gotten here in time, she lives on the other side of-â Hugo began.Â
A reference to the theory that Kevin is Kevin Old from File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents; his âgangmateâ would be Florence Smith, who had a special interest in reading and thus have a large vocabulary.Â
Lilac narrowed her eyes. She recognized the chemical compounds- her and Violet had gone through a celebrity crush phase on a chemist about three or four years before- but she was having trouble figuring out what they combined into. âWhat is this for?âÂ
Another reference to Cleo Knight.Â
He doodled the shape of a pegasus on his arm, beside the moon. He remembered that book. What else had Merricat thought would be on the moon? Rose petals. He could draw roses next.Â
Once again, a direct reference to We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson.
âCan I help you, concierge?â Hal asked. âUm.â Nick froze a moment, panic clutching his chest. Youâve been caught! Youâve been caught! Youâve been caught!Â
Once again, Nick is immediately put into a panic by being caught, due to his trauma from his captivity.Â
Chapter Twenty-Five - in which the next three bells are answeredÂ
The door swung open just as Klaus stepped back, and he saw Charles exit, blinking over at him in a bathrobe. âSorry,â he said, âI was hoping I wouldnât have to call someone just to take me down the hall, but my eyesight isnât what it used to be, and Iâve recently developed a phobia of optometrists.â
This entire scene is based on a scene that had to be deleted from the Netflix adaptation due to Rhys Darby (Charles) being stranded because of a hurricane during filming. It can be read here.Â
âDonât step on the crack, or youâll fall and break your back!â Soli sang, laughing a little as she jumped down to Room 781, trying to imitate Babbittâs hops.
While this is a slight variation on a popular childrenâs game song, itâs specifically a reference to the scene between Ducky and Littlefoot in The Land Before Time.
The woman looked at her very, very carefully, and then said, âItâs alright. Thatâs a fake, anyway.â âFake what?â Solitude turned to look at the statue, as the woman knelt to put it back. âIt looks like a snake, but there are those little claw-shapes there, suggesting hands.â âWell, itâs a replica, made by my foster-brother-in-lawâs sister-in-law. Just in case we need to switch out.â âSwitch out what?â The woman glanced down at Solitude, smiling and brushing the young girlâs hair back; it had fallen a little from her hat. âItâs a long story, and you probably have work to do. Iâm sure you have more important things to get to.âÂ
The woman is clearly Ellington Feint from All the Wrong Questions; she is still very into Jazz music (hence her room), and may-or-may-not have access to the Bombinating Beast statue.Â
Her foster-brother-in-law (Kellar)âs sister-in-law is Ornette Lost, implying Ornette married Lizzie Haines.Â
Solitude blinked. This woman couldnât know her; Soli didnât recognize anything about her, except the record currently playing. She hesitated, and then pointed to the record, saying, âThatâs a pretty song.â The woman smiled slightly. âIt is, isnât it? Do you know the name?â âDo you?âÂ
The song is âSolitudeâ by Duke Ellington and Louis Armstrong; aka Ellingtonâs song in All the Wrong Questions.Â
âReally?â the woman sighed. âOkay, sweetheart, you run along. Now, if youâll excuse me, I have to find my wife before she can fistfight Geraldine Julienne in the lobby.âÂ
Her wife is Moxie Mallahan, a journalist who would definitely get kicked out of the hotel for fighting Geraldine Julienne.Â
âPlumber,â Sunny said, which meant, âYeah, but she writes those shitty articles from The Daily Punctilio about us, so she deserves it.â âI thought that was Ms Poe.â Soli said confusedly.Â
A reference to Katherine Plumber, the journalist from the musical Newsies.
A reference to Eleanora Poe and Geraldine Julienne being combined into one character in the Netflix adaptation.Â
âKlaus Louis Baudelaire, are you suggesting that we have not been having a good time?â Nick said.Â
Klausâs middle name is taken from his actor, Louis Hynes.
âI mean,â Nick said, considering, âThe whole âVFDâ thing totally explains that weird-ass letter they sent us from Europe.â âWhat?â Lilac narrowed her eyes. âYou remember?â Nick said. âWhen they went to Europe for, like, two weeks, and sent us that fucked-up letter about how they loved us and that even if life sucked weâd always have each other and all that bullshit?â Lilac, Violet and Klaus groaned. âOh, fuck, youâre right!â Klaus said. âThat makes so much sense now.â Lilac said.Â
A reference to âThe Letter That Never Cameâ scene from the 2004 film.Â
Chapter Twenty-Six - in which the harpoon is fired
The Baudelaires sighed, and then Nick said, âYeah, a little suspicious, isnât it? Your parents burned to death the same night VFD saw fit to drag you all out.â
Highkey reference to the theory that Volunteers kill the parents who donât want to give their children up for recruitment.Â
Violet nodded grimly, while Lilac and Klaus gave Nick careful looks, and Solitude and Sunny gasped quietly. Dewey scanned him with his eyes. âYou would get along with Ernest.â he said finally.Â
The implication here is that Ernest joined the firestarters partially due to speculation about their parentsâ murder, or at the very least, Ernest is incredibly critical of the way VFD is run. Â
âYou canât rely on associates.â Count Olaf said. âMore comrades have failed me than I can count. Why, Hooky and whatâs-her-face double-crossed me just yesterday and let you brats escape, and then stole my submarine!â âGood for her.â Sunny said, almost unfazed, too furious at Olaf to feel much fear at the moment.Â
A reference to the meme from Arrested Development:
âHow do you know us?â Lilac asked, putting an arm around Violet. The man looked at her sadly. âThatâs the wrong question.â
A reference to All the Wrong Questions.Â
Chapter Twenty-Seven - in which Nick finally spillsÂ
âDiviso?â Sunny asked, which meant, âWhat if they try to split us up?âÂ
âDivisoâ is a Latin adjective meaning âdivided.â
Chapter Twenty-Eight - in which Everything Goes to ShitÂ
The title is a reference to many of my other fanfictions: In the Stranger Things Superhero AU fic Shatter: Pirouette in the Dark, Chapter Nine was titled âEverything Goes to Shitâ, and Chapter Thirty was titled âI already used the title âEverything goes to shitâ but I need to use it againâ, and people thought that was so funny that it became a running joke in basically all of my fics.Â
âLilac Emily Baudelaire.â âViolet Malina Baudelaire.â âNick Liam Baudelaire.â âKlaus Louis Baudelaire.â âSolitude Theodora Baudelaire.â âSunday Theo-dora Bauâelaire!â
The first four children have their middle names from their original actors- Emily Browning, Malina Weissman, Liam Aiken and Louis Hynes.
Solitude and Sunnyâs middle names are both Theodora, to further confuse people as to what the S stands for. See: S Theodora Markson, All the Wrong Questions
Nick took a moment to respond. âE-Explorer?âÂ
Identity crisis! Getting a bit better though.Â
âHe murderedâŠâ Lilac bit her lip. âHe murdered Jacques Snicket!âÂ
Lilacâs realizing here that that was her uncle.Â
They all turned to look at Olaf, who didnât even look uncomfortable. They wanted him to be uncomfortable. They wanted him to be scared.Â
A reference to a line from Shouldnât You Be In School?:Â Someone cleared their throat and we both looked back at a tall, masked figure, watching us calmly. Too calmly, I thought. I wanted him worried.
Sunny and Soli were crying, too. âAudit,â Sunny said, meaning, âPeople never listen to children.âÂ
âAuditâ comes from the Latin verb âaudioâ, meaning âto listen.âÂ
They stood up, with Nick lifting Solitude and Violet moving to lift Sunny, and then they walked back together, holding their heads high and ignoring the stares and whispers and chills. They sat again in the front row, still holding onto each other and refusing to let go.Â
âBene?â Sunny asked. âIs that good?â
âBeneâ is the Latin word for âgood.â
The elevator shot down to the basement, and as it did, Nick and Violet leapt onto Olaf, pummeling him with their fists and trying to rip Justice Strauss away. Olaf shouted, and Lilac and Klaus immediately jumped help, managing to pull Justice Strauss out of his grip as Soli and Sunny screeched and started biting at his ankles, with Babbitt jumping over to the judge so they didnât get squashed. The siblings had been waiting for this a long while, and they werenât going to waste time.Â
a reference to the original shitpost that inspired this au.Â
Chapter Twenty-Nine - in which Sunny turns to ArsonÂ
âAlexandria,â Sunny said, which meant, âUnless she has a backup, you son of a bitchass motherfucker.â
A reference to the Library of Alexandria.Â

Chapter Thirty - in which the Baudelaires have had ENOUGH
âAnd the only fucking reason,â Lilac said, sitting up and grimacing as her stomach wound flared up, âThat we havenât thrown you overboard already is that we might need bait to catch larger fish to eat.â
A slight reference to âShipwreckedâ by The Gothic Archies, which was inspired by The End.Â
âCazzo,â Sunny said, which meant, âWhich wonât be long, dickhead.âÂ
âCazzoâ is an Italian curse word.
Chapter Thirty-One - in which Nick is not taking Ishmaelâs bullshitÂ
âYou cannot force me to wear white.â Lilac said.
A reference both to Lilac being incredibly goth, and to her trauma from the Marvelous Marriage, where she was forced into a wedding dress.Â
Nick said. âListen up, you- someone cover Fridayâs ears.â Klaus reached forwards and slammed his hands over Fridayâs ears. âAlright. Listen up, you bitchass motherfucker.â
IâVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS A BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER-
âI was drugged up once, itâs not fun.âÂ
I left this to be interpreted in separate ways: one, like Duncan guessed in Part Two: Chapter Twenty, Nick was drugged as part of his torture. Two, like Klaus said in Chapter Twenty-Four, Classical Literature Camp was wild.Â
âYeah, itâs not.â Violet agreed.Â
Reference to her being drugged in The Hostile Hospital.Â
Chapter Thirty-Two - in which the Baudelaires make campÂ
âI feel like we werenât supposed to do that.â Violet said, as they walked away from the beach.
A reference to me going very off-book.Â
Sunny nodded, as they placed them in front of her. âCrusoe,â Sunny said, which meant, âWe can drink the milk inside, so long as we donât allow it to ferment, and I can make us toasted coconut flakes, if you give me some room around the fire.âÂ
A reference to Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe.
âSandstone,â Sunny said, meaning, âCan someone get me something like a bowl?âÂ
A reference to her first line in the Netflix series: âCan you find a rock thatâs not sandstone?âÂ
They were silent again, and then Lilac said, âUm, speaking- speaking of hard things to tell- oh.âÂ
She was going to tell them about her biological father.Â
Nickâs face fell. âYouâre right, we donât wanna kidnap.âÂ
Donât wanna emulate VFD.
Chapter Thirty-Three - in which the Baudelaires begin to healÂ
âWait.â Friday narrowed her eyes. âBears donât live on beaches.â âI know!â Klaus laughed. âShakespeare had no geographical knowledge whatsoever.â
Once again, a reference to a famous stage direction from William Shakespeareâs The Winterâs Tale.
âYeet!â Violet shouted, as she threw herself beside her siblings, and after a second, Lilac flopped over, too.Â
A reference to the vine/meme.Â
Chapter Thirty-Four - in which Friday goes off-bookÂ
âKit Snicket?â Lilac shouted. âNo, Kit Kittredge.â Solitude sighed.
A reference to the American Girl doll, Kit Kittredge.
Friday sighed and stood up, taking a few steps forwards. She looked at her mother, and her motherâs outstretched arms, and then out at the crowd. Watching her. Waiting for her to listen. And then she stepped back. âNo,â she said. âNo, I donât think so.âÂ
A quick rundown of Fridayâs mentality here.Â
Chapter Thirty-Five - in which the Baudelaires plan a mutinyÂ
Klaus nodded. âCinderella. East of the Sun and West of the Moon. The Juniper Tree. Little Match Girl- might skip that one, actually. Do you want to try to read it?â
Skipping âThe Little Match Girlâ because she dies at the end.Â
âSuit yourself.â said Olaf. âBut you know what? I bet those islanders wonât let you back onto Olaf-Land, now that youâve recruited one of their own.âÂ
Intentional use of the word ârecruitâ here, just to taunt them.Â
Chapter Thirty-Six - in which we go surprisingly more off-bookÂ
âI know this.â Nick was the first one to move, stepping towards a tall fish statue, the red paint slightly peeling. He shook quite a bit as he ran a hand over it, and Klaus rushed over to put an arm around him. âWe were trapped in here. How⊠how did we fit in here? Klaus, how did we fit?â
A reference to the fact the Red Herring statue can be seen in the arboretum in the Netflix adaptation.Â
Nick turned to Klaus, eyes wide. âWe did fit? We were in here? I didnât make that up?â
A very lowkey reference to We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson; Uncle Julian sometimes doubts the traumatic arsenic incident that paralyzed him and killed the rest of the family really happened.Â
Chapter Thirty-Seven - in which Lilac has a costume changeÂ
âWhy would I-â Violet asked as Lilac grabbed a knife, drew it up to one of her braids, and chopped it off. Violet leapt to her feet and gasped, while Nickâs dropped his marker in shock. Soli and Sunny let out tiny shrieks, as Friday stared and Klaus said, âLilac!â âI need to think.â Lilac said, and she grabbed another braid and chopped it off. âAnd this hair is getting in my way!â âLilac-â Klaus started forwards, but she held up a hand to stop him, and then grabbed her loose hair and started cutting. Her braids fell to the floor of the tree, as she kept cutting to get rid of the strands that could reach her face. Within a few moments, her hair was cut even shorter than the boysâ, with only a small, thin braid on the side of her head.
Firstly, a reference to the fact the dramatic haircut is my favorite trope of all time.Â
Secondly, specifically and heavily inspired by the scene in IT: Chapter One when Beverly Marsh cuts her hair.Â
âOh, fuck yeah! Deus ex Rana to the rescue!â Klaus said, rushing over first.Â
âRanaâ is the Latin word for âfrog.âÂ
Chapter Thirty-Eight - in which the Medusoid causes a ruckusÂ
âHey!â Lilac shouted, stepping forwards. âWhat in the nine circles of hell is going on here?â
A reference to Danteâs Inferno.Â
âSo are you, my dear.â Olaf said. He eyed her with his shiny eyes. âWhyâd you do that to your hair? It makes you look much less pretty.âÂ
Unfortunately, another reference to Beverlyâs haircut in IT: Chapter One: this was the response it elicited from her abusive father.Â
Chapter Thirty-Nine - in which man hands on misery to manÂ
Solitude looked to her, narrowing her eyes, a seemingly insignificant memory floating back to her. âQuestion mark.â she said, âBeast.â
When she realizes some stuff about Ellingtonâs statue.Â
Kit looked at her, and Lilac saw in her eyes that her choice not to take the apple had nothing to do with her child.Â
TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDEÂ
Itâs often theorized in canon, and confirmed in this fic, that Kit was suicidal, which was why she decided not to take the apple.
Chapter Forty - in which the Baudelaires go on togetherÂ
âWe didnât.â Sunny said, putting a hand on Lilacâs leg. âWe have each other.â
A callback to âWe lost everything.â âExcept each other.âÂ
âWe donât need to escape.â Violet said. She turned to Lilac. âDo you remember that musical, based on that movie, based on that movie, based on that book-â
The song they proceed to sing, âFinaleâ, is from the musical The Hunchback of Notre Dame, which is based on the Disney movie, which takes a lot of inspiration from the 1939 film, which was based on the Victor Hugo novel.
Also I made a gifset with those lyrics and Iâm still very proud of it.Â
âI know.â Violet nodded. âI⊠I guess we canât lock you in the closet anymore, huh?â Her smile only lasted a few seconds. âIâm sorry. Just trying to cheer you up.âÂ
A reference to the one-shot.Â
They never told Bea she had the same shine in her eyes as her father. She didnât need to know.Â
Bea is biologically Olafâs daughter.Â
Solitude found all the herpetology books, which Klaus and Friday read to her. She furnished Babbittâs habitat, and let her hair grow out so that she could braid it.
Just like her big sister Lilac.Â
âA statue normally wouldnât mean anything,â Violet had told Friday, âBut, well, Nick found some interesting accounts, didnât you, Nick?â âLiâs Dad is a wordy motherfucker,â Nick said, tossing a file that had been slipped into a bowl of honeydew melons, âBut yeah, I did.âÂ
Huge reference to All the Wrong Questions.Â

Chapter Forty-One / Epilogue - in which Beatrice leaves the island
âWell, maybe we only have to last a year until Lilac turns eighteen, and then we spend our fortune on pop tarts and PokĂ©mon cards.â Solitude said.
A reference to this Alex Hirsch tweet:
âWeâll have to come up with fake names.â Solitude giggled. âIâll be Sensible.â âYou will not, I called dibs!â Sunny shouted.
A reference to Netflix!Sunnyâs name in @ornettelostsâs Nine Baudelaires AU. Love ya, Sammie! :D
âI still wanna know how Babbitt had-â Nick began, but Klaus slapped a hand over his mouth.Â
âI still wanna know how Babbitt had sex.âÂ
Lilac ran her hands over the title. âYeah. Letâs leave this behind.â She smiled and said, âTime to go. Sound off! One!âÂ
Theyâre leaving their series of unfortunate events behind.Â
Lilac smiled and said, âLetâs go find something new.âÂ
Thereâs always something.Â
Perhaps, in ten years, Beatrice would have a much happier message for her uncle than he expected.
A reference to The Beatrice Letters and, lowkey, the happier version of it in Netflixâs adaptation of The End.Â
#asoue#asoue netflix#asoue movie#a series of unfortunate events#six baudelaires au#six baudelaires official fic#six baudelaires reference guide#six baudelaires bonus#mine
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The hits just donât stop coming!
My May playlist is finished and itâs only almost one month late! Everything you want and nothing you donât from Nicki Minaj, the band that did the OC theme song and Italian Adele. What more could you ask for!Â
Listen here!
Curious - Amerie: Amerie, who sang the world's greatest song 1 Thing and unfortunately never had any other good songs, surprise released a 22 minute album called 4AM Mulholland and a companion EP that was 20 minutes long called After 4AM last year. I don't know why she didn't just release one normal length album but anyway, because she's Amerie people weren't exactly eagerly awaiting a surprise release album from her so it came and went pretty quickly. This song though is really very good and sets a really nice midnight smoky tone that the whole rest of the album/EP unfortunately fails to really live up to. I also found out in my research that Amerie is also apparently a semi-influential book vlogger 'BookTuber' and last year edited a book of YA short stories where other BookTubers 'reimagined fairy tales from the oft-misunderstood villains' points of view. She's got heaps going on.
Vipers Follow You - Amon Tobin: Amon Tobin has lost his damn mind yet again. His last album was 8 years ago and it sounded like a hardware test for a new kind of million dollar sound system. Every single type of sound and frequency was crammed into it and it felt like a sound sculture that could physically attack you rather than an album that you listened to for fun. Now his new album sounds like the direct opposite. There's no drums on it at all and it's all stripped back thick and smooth acoustic-modelled textures and it's very nice. This song is a good example of the album feel overall: not exactly ambient or laid-back, but definite night music from a guy who has gone all the way from chillout trip-hop to walls of hydraulic noise over his career and it's always such a thrill to hear people pushing forward in their sound 9 albums in.
Do The Panic - Phantom Planet: Phantom Planet who famously did the theme song for The OC have reformed and released their first new song in ten years. This isn't that song but there was a bunch of people in the comments on the Stereogum article about it saying they were and underrated band and their 2008 album Raise The Dead has bangers and guess what: they were right!
Roman Holiday - Nicki Minaj: Roman Holiday reentered the billboard charts last month because it became relevant again via people putting it in memes where they would play a sped up version of the song over sped up videos of.. anything really. It's not a very good meme but I thank god for it because otherwise I would never have learned that it's a very good song. I also think there's a very interesting lesson to be learned here about Nicki Minaj because she premiered this song at the 2012 Grammys before Roman Reloaded came out with an elaborate Exorcist routine and everyone hated this extremely weird song and extremely weird performance so it was scrapped as the first single and they put out Starships instead. Nicki Minaj seem to me like an artist that has always struggled to ride the line between pop marketability and doing their own unique thing in much the same way as Eminem, and just like Eminem she's eventually settled in to a very safe and marketable version of herself. Roman Holiday is a glimpse of the Nicki That Could Have been that just starts singing Come All Ye Faithful in the middle of a song and does the chorus in an extremely dodgy British accent. There's a good bit on the wiki for this song that quotes Jessica Hooper's Spin review that says "the pop tracks are a paying of the piper and the too-perfect, Dr. Luke-produced songs are her penance for sneaking deranged yodeling ode 'Roman Holiday' in there." More deranged yodelling odes please Nicki!
Cousins - Vampire Weekend: I've never gotten into Vampire Weekend for an unknown reason. I like every song I've heard of theirs I've just never properly sat down and listened to an album and appreciated it until Father Of The Bride this year. I have however always loved Cousins. Itâs got a completely deranged riff, the drums sound like their going to catch fire and it ends with chiming bells. Itâs completely off the rails and I think the video is one of my favourites ever for just simply matching the tone of the song and the performance.
Lost Your Number - Nu Shooz: On the episode of R U Talkin' R.E.M Re: Me? with Ezra Koenig they were talking about grunge and the early 90s and how music that had 'authenticity' suddently became so popular. Scott's reasoning was that by the late 80s pop music had become so incredibly vaccuous and bad that people were yearning for anything with meaning. He said 'pop was so bad, stuff like Nu Shooz' and I immediately remembered how fucking good Nu Shooz are and paused the podcast to listen to them instead. This is an absolutely great song because the lyrics never rise above linear storytelling. 'I lost your number' is not a metaphor for lost contact or leaving someone or anything like that. This whole song is about trying to call someone but you've lost the piece of paper that you wrote their phone number on. She even describes the paper like maybe you the listener have seen it around somewhere, I absolutey love it.
Paper Trail$ - Joey Bada$$: Joey Bada$$ is a goon but he has good songs sometimes. If he wasn't a famous rapper he would be working full time in reddit arguments where people rank members of the Wu-Tang Clan. He's one of these 'real hip hop' 'lyrical miracle' guys and he even goes so far as to rework C.R.E.A.M in this song to say cash RUINS everything around me :O but this beat is nice as hell and I woke up with the bit where says 'shit is really real out here' repeating in my head.
Julien - Carly Rae Jepsen: I'm really loving this new Carly Rae album. It's not as heavy on hits as Emotion obviously but it's more even overall and has a lot more to dig into I think. I just keep listening to it. This song especially is so nice because it's a great example of how you only need two chords to get something extremely funky going.
Rock Non Stop - Cassius: Cassius finally have another great song! The nearly two minute choral intro is such genius because of how suddenly and forcefully it drops you into the middle of the most boneheaded dance song I've heard in a long time. Two different silly voices going back and forth with each other saying 'rock non stop' and 'gimme the good time', who could ask for anything more?
Just as I was about to publish this I saw the news that Phillipe Zdar died which is so sad! Just as they started releasing fantastic new music! So now this song is tinged with that sort of sadness which is unfair because itâs such a fun and silly piece of music, it doesnât deserve to hold that kind of weight.
DOLO 5 - Dolo Percussion: This Dolo Percussion album absolutely astounded me. No melody! Just drums! For an hour and a half! It's a complete world of its own and you can get totally lost in the depths of it. Every song has a completely unique palette and it never ever feels boring like percussion focused music sometimes can, it's constantly evolving in every track and never settles into anything for too long. Things just come and go so naturally it feels like actually trying to figure out the structure of these songs would be impossible. There's a few moments where there's a hint of a bassline or melody in a some of the later songs and it completely shakes you up, like seeing sunlight again after years of absolutely thriving in the dark.
Song About An Angel - Sunny Day Real Estate: The way he sings 'running behind' in this is maybe one of my favourite pieces of vocal performance ever. He just shouted himself apart. Also the Genius description of this song is one of the best emo sentences Iâve ever seen: "The song is believed to be a conversation between a guy and an angel (possibly a girl)."
This Life - Vampire Weekend: The R U Talkin' R.E.M. Re: Me? episode with Ezra really put this album into a lot more context for me, because he's talking about being influenced by The Grateful Dead - not musically exactly but in the mindset and the idea of being in a guitar band and making guitar music in 2019 which is an interesting thing to think about. Anyway this has such a Dead feel to it and I'm really interested to see what they do live because as I've heard they're really mixing up their reputation of being a band that sounds exactly like the album and really going for it instead and doing absolutely anything which is a lot more fun.
The Past Is A Grotesque Animal - of Montreal: I've been getting heavily into Hissing Fauna Are You The Destroyer? this month and it's just so incredible. This song especially as the centrepiece of this whole album is amazing. The mindset is so intriguing to me: absolutely going though it in the worst way possible, getting divorced and everything like that but also somehow managing to keep it twee. The sorts of things that influenced this album would turn any normal person to heavier or stranger music but somehow he manages to believe so hard in the power of twee indie pop that he pushed it to the limit and create a masterpiece.
The Cascades - Janice Scroggins: You know that tweet about riding the bus and looking out the window and pretending the music you're listening to is the soundtrack to the movie about you riding the bus? That's me except with Scott Joplin rags and pretending i'm in a silent film where I embarrass myself in front of a society lady.
The Governor - Nicolas Jaar: I think iâve probably already had this song on a playlist like three times so Iâm going to stop talking about it but hereâs my favourite thing this time: It could have just ended and been fine but instead it goes to saxophone hell and thatâs what makes this a 10/10 song.
The Less I Know The Better - Tame Impala: My peabrain moment this month was suddenly developing a huge obsession with this song for some reason. Have you guys heard of this band âTame Impalaâ? I really feel like they might blow up! One of my favourite things about this song is that the top youtube comment for a long time was âthis is like the cuck anthemâ. Theyâre right!
New Town - Life Without Buildings: Life Without Buildings feels like indie rock from another dimension. This came out in 2000 and for some reason I can't reconcile that fact with how it sounds. It sounds like it should have come out at least 5 years later. I cannot imagine this style of vocal ever working so effectively but somehow it just does. I'm hanging on absolutely every word and feeling it so intensely when in reality she sounds like something went wrong with the recording. I just love it.
Bang Bang Bang - Mark Ronson And The Business Intl: This is a hugely underrated song and this era of Mark Ronson seems to have been totally forgotten which is unfortunate. This song, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga and OMG by Usher all came out around the same time in my memory and I remember feeling very optimistic for the direction pop seemed to be heading in. Bombastic and unique and unafraid to be structurally different but then it turned out it wasnât really a trend at all, it was just three great songs. So who knows.
Back To The Trees - Adele H: I suddenly remembered this song I completely fell in love with last year and remembered as a moderate hit only to find that it has <1000 listens on spotify and 300 on youtube. Simply not good enough, please listen to this song! Support my friend and yours Adele H: âThe Italian Adelianâ
Out There - Studio: Whatâs so good about Studio is itâs technically an electronic duo but it has the feeling of a jam jam band. Their wiki article is obviously written by their management but it also describes them as an âafrobeat-dub-disco-indie-pop adventureâ which is very true. Itâs an adventure! It just keeps moving on and on through fifty flavours of groove!
Shut Up Kiss Me - Angel Olsen: This really is maybe the best love song ever written! Because it's about standing firm and not giving up on love! Stop pretending I'm not there when it's clear I'm not going anywhere / If I'm out of sight then take another look around!
Through This Town - Mia Dyson: If you ever need an optimistic song to lay down on the floor to then here's one.
Cry Flames - Rustie: I'm on my usual shit about how good Glass Swords was and how that it's a tragedy that this never coalesced into a major movement like it should have. This is such a good sound that just kind of disappeared because vaporwave and everything overlapped with the boring parts of it and the anime chillout version became popular instead. Sad!
Real Truth (feat. Tkay Maidza) - J-E-T-S, Machinedrum and Jimmy Edgar: I love this beat so much. The sort of beat that sounds like it's playing out of a droid that got shot with a lazer and is malfunctioning.
Aute Cuture - Rosalia: me putting these lyrics through google translate: oh my god sheâs right this IS on fire
Self-Immolate - King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard: King Gizz are a metal band now and they're writing the very best kind of metal songs - sci-fi about burning to death in the skies of Venus that's also a climate change parable.
Magic Arrow - Timber Timbre: Timber Timbre feel underrated to me. I never see anyone talking about them but they're one of the most consistently great bands around, I absolutely love them. There's so much space in this song, this whole style of minimal production is underutilised. It feels like if Wicked Game by Chris Isaak was about an 18th century cult leader instead which I think we can all agree is a much improved song.
Kim's Caravan - Courtney Barnett: I love this style of songwriting where you just sit on an extremely heavy bassline the whole time and have no chorus, which affords you the freedom to just get bigger and bigger and smaller as you wish. The Drones cover of River Of Tears works like this too and I think it's just masterful.
When The Movie's Over - Twin Shadow: My belief is Confess is front to back one of the greatest pop albums ever written. Please, please listen to it and be moved.
listen here
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I feel like the Pepe Silvia meme from Sunny rn bc all I can think about is how scourger captive obviously knew of Bren and mentioned him working with the Dynasty, which makes me think other people know about that fact now too... and theyâre going to Nicodranus where itâs theorized that other scourgers could be lurking... and now, if it wasnât before, Calebâs identity could be blown out of the water and thatâs not taking into account group safety/ if theyâre gonna split up and Iâm Stressedâąïž
Haha! Is it weird that Iâm not that worried? I think the Scourger just made a reasonable assumption about the person speaking to her being Bren because he was asking about Bren and Astrid for....no other immediately discernible reason, and the fact that he isnât dead and is safely interrogating her in a max security prison means that yeah, he must be working with the Dynasty. Even though Caleb sort of tried to lie that he wasnât Bren but was looking for him, it wasnât very convincing. But I think itâs pretty unlikely that anyone already knew about his identity here. Matt rolled a die to figure out whether the Scourger would even be able to recognize Brenâs name, I believe. It also looks like the BQ has a pretty tight security on who the M9 are in general, based on the fact that Dairon doesnât seem to know the shit theyâve been up to either (then again, my opinion of Daironâs detectiving is.....not great). My only real concern now is that the Scourger will either escape or manage to find a way to inform on how Bren is working for the BQ--which still gives the M9 a lot of leeway, since the Scourger does not know the alias Caleb Widogast, does not know his face, and does not know his companions at the moment.
I do have reservations with how the M9 sans Caleb (?) seem to think Luc and Yeza will be safer packed away in Nicodranas rather than brought back to Rosohna. From everything Iâve seen so far, the M9 are excessively suspicious of the BQ and her motives, largely without cause. They have allies and protection and a stable residence in Rosohna, while Nicodranas is rife with security risks.Â
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Can You Hear Me?
Archive Link:Â https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43235681
Chapter 6/10 of Itâs A Handheld Disaster
Word Count: 1174
Chapter Summary: Simon has a simple request for Baz, as nerve wracking as it may be.
BAZ
I used to hate mornings. Loathed them. Thought they were the shittiest time of the day--the part where it all started. Except, now that I get daily good morning texts from Snow, accompanied by an odd little meme (usually an obscured, âdeep friedâ one), I canât say I hate mornings anymore.
Itâs so silly, given itâs such a small thing, but additions of something sentimental and small in my day makes me feel more alive.
Good morning texts. Daily updates. Stupid jokes, playful nicknames, and the intimacy of a phone number. Weâre intertwined far enough that Dev and Niall know about him now. Iâve grown proud of speaking about him; heâs rather stupid sometimes, but I always smile at those messages. Sure, I havenât seen his face yet, or heard his voice, but that doesnât matter. It may be an issue one day, but for now, Iâll live with where we are.
Itâs not entirely positive, though. I know he only texts because he canât always afford extra data, and Davy cuts the wifi, but itâs more comforting to hear a mobile tone than to feel just a notif buzz.
When I woke up this morning, though, the space where his message usually sits is vacant, leaving the last received one to be from last night.
im fukcin exhausted goodnight x
Thatâs it. Nothing new, nothing to get excited over. Nothing to smile about.
Nothing in my DMs, and Instagram says he hasnât been online since yesterday afternoon. Itâs mildly concerning, to say the least.
I try to distract myself, but I canât eat (too nauseous), nor can I sit still. My shower is terrible, and the empty, numbing feeling is driving me insane. Itâs nearly 11 by the time I finally get something--a simple, unexpected, heartstopping text.
hey can i call you tonight?
I double check to make sure Iâm not misreading it, then exit out of the app before opening it again. Surely enough, I hadn't read it wrong.
He wants to call me. He wants to hear my voice. I get to hear his voice.
While the circumstances call for a concerned pause, I still throw an answer towards him despite the twisting of my gut.
of course you can
call whenever you have a chance, iâll be here
thank you
sorry i know i usually text sooner
its just a bad day
i know im shitty
youâre not shitty
really donât apologize itâs okay
so long as youâre okay
i cant promise im ok but im alive
good enough for me
I lay my phone face down, hands scrubbing over my eyes as I exhale slowly. Heâs alive. Thatâs more than good enough for me--thatâs a spark of hope. He can always get better, but he canât stop being dead (whatever-the-fuck-deity forbid that ever happens).
Slowly, my eyes drift towards the window. Itâs a sunny day. The weatherâs growing warmer, and he only gets out in a month or so. Maybe⊠maybe I can see him once summer hits. Iâll drive out to wherever he is, and weâll finally get to exist inside the same spaces. Iâll shake his hand. Iâll take him to dinner (maybe go get a drink, if heâs 18 by then). Iâll be stupid for once in my life and make a bold move. Itâll be okay. Weâll be okay.
I look at my phone, repeating it in a soft utter. âWeâll be okay,â I say into the empty room around me, heart speaking differently. Who knows if he'll be okay now. Eventually, weâll find our peace within the world. Heâll stop hurting, and Iâll start living. We just have to make it over this hurdle.
As my fingers drag across the cotton sheets, I let my mind wander off into thought. I wonder what his voice sounds like. I wonder what accent he has (I donât even know what region heâs from). How should I address him? Is it proper to begin with a casual âHiâ?
This is shit. I wish I knew what to do. I wish I knew what we were, so itâd be easier.
A bird chips outside, and I break back into an empty stare out the glass.
Itâs all empty. I feel empty. Everything feels so empty for hours as I drag myself around the house like a spineless ghost, hoping to hear from my distant friend. I barely feel the need to eat, and I canât bring myself to care enough to go for a walk to shake off my nerves. Instead, I sit, stare at the wall silently, making pointless reblogged posts on the occasion I can bring myself to look at my mobile. By the early evening, Iâve updated one of my fics and answered a good handful of asks from a numbers post. Itâs all mindless and meaningless, but itâs a distraction.
Not enough of one, sadly. By early evening, I get antsy enough to drag myself out of bed and find my pack of cigs.
I contemplate the windowsill briefly, then decide against it in favor of going down to the garage. It used to be the stables, so thereâs plenty of room to hide by a window and smoke one or two.
Tucking the lighter and pack in my pockets, I slip out quickly enough. My mobile stays in hand, ready to respond to any buzz.
It doesnât come immediately. Not as Iâm getting comfortable, pillow pressed to my back in the dusty stone and brick building. I settle against the window, cracking it open slightly while my head leans back against the wall. In my mouth lies a cigarette, with another tucked behind my ear. I flick the lighter a few times before it sputters to life
Holding it up, I watch the satisfying glow of the end as my hands tremble. Honestly, I hate smoking. I hate the taste it leaves, I hate the way it seeps into my clothes, but there's a shaking of my nerves that calms it while lighting my insides up.
Carefully, I suck it in, holding back the smoke as I stare out the warped glass. After a slow inhale, I let the tendril of smoke trickle from my lips. I hate this.
I go through the first one, stubbing it onto the stone. About halfway through the second, my mobile starts buzzing nonstop. Looking down, I already know who it is.
offbrand sammy
Fumbling with my cigarette, I switch it to my non dominant hand as I slide my mobile and press it to my ear. âHello?â I say, not even thinking out my answer. Fuck. Wait. Too formal.
The formalities don't even matter, because suddenly, there's sobs on the other line. They break out, coming in muffled bursts as my heart sinks. In all my utter uselessness, I sit completely silent, jaw hanging open as I wait. After what feels like minutes, rather than seconds, of him crying, his voice comes through. It's clear, deep, Northern, and cuts me to the bone.
âHoly shit.â
#it's a handheld disaster#carry on#snowbaz#fanfiction#fanfic#fic#mine#simon snow#tyrannus basilton grimm-pitch#tyrannus basilton grimm pitch#baz pitch#simon#baz#hehe the fic finally hit 10k words on archive#i feel less stressed somehow
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