#sunflower ivf

[ivfsunflower]

Best Gynaecologist for Women’s Health Care in Ahmedabad

Sunflower Infertility & IVF Center is one of the most trusted gynaecology hospitals in Ahmedabad. We help patients in identifying and mitigating a number of reproductive health problems, from menstrual irregularities to complex conditions that require surgery. Our labs are equipped with state-of-art machines to make the diagnosis efficient. Book your appointment today and consult with the best gynaecologist in Ahmedabad. 

[baronessblixen]

A Ring and a Promise

Today's the first day of the Eight Nights of Mulder. We're starting with: gold.

I snuck in a 24 Days of X-Mas Files Challenge prompt: family heirloom

Summary: Mulder has a very special gift for Scully. (Fluff, set in season 7; wc: 1,097)

Tagging @today-in-fic @eightnightsofmulder

With the last snow melting and Spring tiptoeing in, Mulder decides it's time for a change in his life, too. For weeks, he's been trying to find the right moment. Seeing Scully lift her face to the sun, a small smile playing on her lips, he can't wait any longer.

"I have something for you," he says.

"What did you say?" Scully turns to him, shielding her eyes from the sun.

"A gift. For you. Maybe... consider it a very late or very early Christmas gift."

"Is that becoming a pattern with you?" He loves her teasing. Lately, she's been doing it more often. And she's smiling more. A sight Mulder can't get enough of. "Christmas was months ago. I've had a birthday since then." She gently nudges his side.

"My present wasn't ready then."

"I admit I'm curious," she admits. "Where is this present?"

"In my pocket." It's been there for months. A few years ago, he considered giving it to her for the first time, afraid he was going to lose her. This time he's not afraid. He's not going to lose her. This is just to show her that she's his choice. That no matter what, he wants to be by her side. Wants her with him. For always. His smile is as shaky as his hand as he reaches into his pocket to take out the small box. Scully looks at it, then back at him.

"Mulder, I'm not sure that-"

"Relax," he says, "I'm not asking you to marry me. Unless you want me to." His wink is met with an amused eye roll.

"But I want you to have this." He puts the small box into her palm and closes her fingers over it.

"Can I look?" she asks him.

"Of course." He waits, watches her as the box comes open with a soft squeak. Scully gasps and stares at him open-mouthed.

"This is a- I can't accept this."

"It's yours."

"Mulder, this is a ring."

"Oh, is it? I thought it was sunflower seeds."

"This isn't funny."

"No, it isn't. I- Scully, I meant what I said. I want you to have this ring. After last year and the whole thing with Diana, with us doing IVF and- I found this again after my mom's death. Have I ever told you about my grandmother?" Scully, still staring at the ring, shakes her head.

"Let's sit down on that bench over there." His hand lands on the small of her back and they walk the small distance together, the golden ring catching a ray of sunshine as they do.

"My grandmother on my mother's side was Jewish. She and my dad never got along and after Samantha... I didn't see her often. The last time I did was shortly before I went to Oxford. She was old by then and sick. I was too young, or too much in denial, to understand that she was dying. She gave me this ring, making me promise that I wouldn't sell it, and would never let my dad have it. I thought she was crazy." He chuckles softly.

"She said this ring has been in her family for ages. I wasn't listening. You know me. I just wanted to get away from everything, even her. She'd always been good to me but I was young and dumb. What I remember is that she wanted me to give it to someone special. Someone I consider my family. I took the ring with me that day, barely looking at it. I left it with my mom. She asked me once if I wanted it back."

"Diana?" Scully asks, reading between the lines.

"Yes," Mulder admits. "But I laughed it off. I never wanted Diana to have it. My mom gave it to me after her stroke. Said it was time. Said that maybe I'd need the ring soon. And I almost did." Tears shimmer Scully's eyes when he glances at her face.

"I almost gave it to you back then." His voice cracks. "I would stare at this ring, thinking I should give it to you. But I was scared, Scully. I wasn't ready to admit it. I wasn't ready to stop fighting. It seemed too final. I could have - maybe should have - given it to you after you beat your cancer. But I- I didn't. But it's time, isn't it?"

"You said this wasn't a proposal." Scully sniffs and he puts his arm around her, pulling her into his side.

"It isn't, it's... a promise." Scully laughs and when their eyes meet, all he sees is love. It's no surprise to him. They don't need to speak the words to know they both feel it. Though he has said it. Even if Scully never says them, and he never dares to repeat the sentiment, it's there in everything they do. And he wants her to have something tangible to remind her.

"A promise to never ditch me again?" There she is again, teasing him.

"A promise to always come back if I do?" he offers in return.

"If I wear this, people will notice," Scully says, taking the ring out of its box. "I still can't believe it, Mulder." When she tries it on, she gasps, realizing it fits perfectly.

"I had it fitted. But I don't expect you to wear it. I just want you to have it. No matter how we define this - us -, you're my best friend, Scully. You're my family. There's no one else I can imagine giving this to. I don't want to either. It's you." Forever, he adds in his mind.

"I did not expect this," she says. "But- I love it, Mulder. The ring is beautiful and I appreciate the thought."

"Do I hear a but?"

"No buts, Mulder," she says, observing the ring on her finger. He does, too. It looks good. More than that, it looks right. His grandmother was right. There was a special person waiting for him all along.

"Thank you." She touches the side of his face and presses a long, lingering kiss to his cheek.

"No kiss on the mouth for a ring?" he jokes, grinning.

"Not in public."

"Does that mean I'll get another one later when we're alone?"

She gets up, the ring still on her finger. She offers him her hand and he takes it. Neither lets go as they start walking.

"You'll get another thank you later," she promises him, and he can't wait. For later, for tomorrow, and for every day he gets to spend with her.

[television-overload]

Not sure how many Mulder and Scully shippers have seen the movie The Switch starring Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman, but occasionally I like to imagine an X-Files AU fic along the lines of that movie, even though it means separating Mulder and Scully for a few years

She decides to do IVF, finds an anonymous donor, through a weird series of events, Mulder drunkenly replaces the sample with his own, unknowingly fathering her child, and she leaves to move somewhere safer and quieter and closer to family at his urging.

Then some 5 years later, they reunite. She's moving back to DC, and introduces him to her son, who is... a little odd, but adorable, and she loves him.

"Mommy, I think my new kindergarten teacher is a kraken."

"What? William, you know there's no such thing as kraken. Now, why would you say that?"

"No, hold on, Scully, let's hear him out."

And then Mulder starts noticing these similarities they share. Hair color. Mannerisms. A love of sunflower seeds. Proclivity to get picked on at school.

And eventually it all comes back to him, and he realizes William is his son.

Basically, I just wanna see one of my favorite off-the-rails romcoms mashed up with X-Files

[sciivfhospitaldelhi]

Diet Advice for Improving Female Fertility

A healthy diet plays a pivotal role in boosting fertility for women, whether they are trying to conceive naturally or through assisted reproductive methods like IVF. The foods you consume can have a direct impact on hormone levels, egg quality, and overall reproductive health. Here is a comprehensive guide on diet recommendations to help improve female fertility.

1. Incorporate Antioxidant-Rich Foods

Antioxidants such as vitamins C and E, folate, and beta-carotene help to combat oxidative stress, which can damage eggs and reduce fertility. Including antioxidant-rich foods in your diet can support reproductive health by protecting cells and improving ovulation. Some excellent choices include:

Berries (blueberries, raspberries, strawberries)

Leafy greens (spinach, kale)

Nuts and seeds (almonds, sunflower seeds)

Dark chocolate (in moderation)

2. Prioritize Complex Carbohydrates

Complex carbohydrates are essential for maintaining stable blood sugar levels, which is crucial for hormonal balance and regular ovulation. Refined carbs, such as white bread and sugary snacks, can lead to insulin resistance, which may negatively impact fertility, especially in women with conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). Instead, opt for:

Whole grains (quinoa, brown rice, whole wheat bread)

Vegetables (sweet potatoes, broccoli)

Legumes (beans, lentils)

3. Incorporate Healthy Fats

Healthy fats are essential for hormone production, which plays a vital role in regulating fertility. Omega-3 fatty acids support reproductive health by reducing inflammation and promoting blood flow to reproductive organs. Include these healthy fat sources in your diet:

Fatty fish (salmon, sardines)

Avocados

Olive oil

Chia seeds and flaxseeds

4. Choose Plant-Based Protein

Studies have shown that plant-based protein sources may support fertility more effectively than animal-based proteins. Plant-based options are lower in unhealthy fats and provide vital nutrients that enhance reproductive health. Some great sources include:

Beans and lentils

Tofu and tempeh

Nuts and seeds

Quinoa

While lean animal proteins like chicken and turkey are fine in moderation, adding plant proteins can offer a more balanced approach to fertility-focused nutrition.

5. Focus on Micronutrients

Certain vitamins and minerals are essential for optimizing fertility. These micronutrients ensure healthy ovulation and support a successful pregnancy. Key fertility-boosting nutrients include:

Folic acid: Important for fetal development and preventing birth defects. Foods rich in folate include leafy greens, oranges, and fortified cereals.

Vitamin D: Promotes healthy hormone production and supports egg quality. Sunlight exposure and foods like fortified dairy products, fatty fish, and eggs are excellent sources.

Iron: Ensures proper ovulation and prevents anemia. Incorporate iron-rich foods like spinach, lentils, and lean red meat.

6. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol

High caffeine and alcohol consumption can negatively impact fertility. Women trying to conceive should limit caffeine intake to 200 milligrams per day (equivalent to one cup of coffee) and avoid excessive alcohol, which can interfere with hormonal balance.

7. Stay Hydrated

Proper hydration is essential for overall health and reproductive function. Drinking plenty of water supports cervical mucus production, which is necessary for sperm transportation and fertilization. Aim for at least 8 glasses of water per day to ensure adequate hydration.

8. Maintain a Healthy Weight

Weight plays a crucial role in fertility, as both underweight and overweight women may experience hormonal imbalances that disrupt ovulation. A diet focused on whole foods, healthy fats, and balanced nutrition can help maintain a healthy body weight, optimizing the chances of conception.

Final Thoughts

Improving fertility through diet involves making nutrient-rich food choices that support reproductive health. Incorporating antioxidant-rich foods, complex carbohydrates, healthy fats, and plant-based proteins can significantly improve your chances of conception. By adopting these dietary habits, women can create a fertile environment for successful pregnancy.

For more tailored advice, consult with your dietician or an IVF specialist doctor who can guide you through personalized dietary recommendations to optimize fertility based on your specific health needs.

[best-multi-speciality-hospital]

How to Boost Your Immunity Naturally: Tips from Preethi Hospitals, Madurai

If you need the Best IVF Treatment in Madurai then Preethi Hospitals is the perfect choice. Maintaining a robust immune system is essential for overall health, especially in today's fast-paced world where exposure to various pathogens is common. Preethi Hospitals, Madurai, offers practical and natural methods to enhance your immunity and keep illnesses at bay.

Understanding the Immune System

To protect the body from dangerous intruders like viruses and bacteria, the immune system is an intricate network of cells, tissues, and organs. A healthy immune system can effectively recognize and neutralize these threats, ensuring you stay healthy.

Why Choose Natural Immunity Boosters?

Opting for natural methods to boost your immunity is beneficial because they are safe and come with additional health advantages. Unlike synthetic supplements, natural boosters support overall well-being without adverse effects. Here are some effective ways to naturally enhance your immune system:

Eat a Balanced Diet

A balanced diet forms the cornerstone of a strong immune system. Your daily meals should contain a range of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Nutrient-rich foods, especially those high in vitamins and minerals like vitamin C, vitamin D, zinc, and antioxidants, are vital for boosting immunity. Some immunity-boosting foods include:

Citrus fruits (oranges, lemons, grapefruits)

Leafy greens (spinach, kale)

Nuts and seeds (almonds, sunflower seeds)

Yogurt and fermented foods (kimchi, sauerkraut)

Garlic and ginger

Stay Hydrated

Staying hydrated is essential for immune system support and general health maintenance. Water keeps cells functioning at their best and aids in the removal of toxins from the body. Make it a daily goal to consume 8–10 glasses of water. Drinking fresh fruit juices and herbal teas can also help you stay hydrated.

Engage in Regular Exercise

Regular physical activity benefits both your body and your immune system. Exercise improves cardiovascular health, lowers blood pressure, and helps control body weight. It also promotes good circulation, allowing immune cells to move freely and function effectively. Strive for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise, such as walking, cycling, or yoga, on most days.

Prioritize Sleep

Adequate sleep is essential for a healthy immune system. During sleep, the body repairs and regenerates cells, including immune cells. Insufficient sleep can weaken your immune response and increase susceptibility to infections. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night. Establishing a regular sleep routine and creating a restful environment can improve sleep quality.

Manage Stress

Chronic stress negatively impacts the immune system by releasing hormones that suppress immune function. Include stress-relieving activities in your everyday routine, such deep breathing exercises, meditation, and time spent in nature. Effective stress management is essential to having a robust immune system. 

Maintain Good Hygiene

Good hygiene practices prevent the spread of infections and keep your immune system strong. Wash your hands regularly with soap and water, especially before eating and after using the restroom. Avoid touching your face, and cover your mouth and nose when coughing or sneezing. Keeping your surroundings clean also plays a significant role in infection prevention.

Consider Natural Supplements

While a balanced diet typically provides necessary nutrients, certain supplements can give your immune system an extra boost. Consult with healthcare professionals at Preethi Hospitals before starting any supplements. Commonly recommended supplements include vitamin C, vitamin D, zinc, and probiotics.

Conclusion

Boosting your immunity naturally involves a holistic approach that includes a balanced diet, regular exercise, adequate sleep, stress management, and good hygiene practices. By adopting these healthy habits, you can strengthen your immune system and enhance your overall health. Preethi Hospitals, Madurai, is committed to promoting wellness and offers comprehensive healthcare services to help you stay healthy. Start making these positive changes today and enjoy a stronger, more resilient immune system.

[newlifefertilitycentre]

10 Foods to Boost Fertility before IVF

You might have many queries regarding the best diet to enhance the success rate of your IVF. You can get some good suggestions regarding the diet for a fertility boost from the best IVF centre in India. This will help you to understand which food to consume and which to avoid before, during and after the IVF procedure. 

You will want to boost your pregnancy rate with the IVF process. This can be achieved to some extent by following the best dietary plan. Food creates a significant impact on the body especially after the embryo transfer thus boosting or reducing the chances of pregnancy. 

Many studies have shown that the Mediterranean diet is the best for IVF. Even in some cases, it is seen that more embryos can be retrieved from women who follow the Mediterranean diet. 

This diet follows the cuisines of countries such as Greece, Spain and Italy bordering the Mediterranean Sea. 

This diet plan focuses mainly on whole food items such as fresh vegetables, abundant fruits, poultry, fish, avocado, eggs, seeds, whole grains, nuts and healthy oils. You can make some adjustments to this diet plan if you have some food sensitivity. 

Your unique need might also require some modification in your diet plan based on your health conditions, allergies or hormonal conditions. You will not have to make some drastic changes in your diet such as suddenly starting to consume gluten-free food items unless you are gluten intolerant.

 Opting for a meal filled with a variety of colours that can give you enough nutrition will give you much help. The sperm count also increases with a Mediterranean diet.

Best food to boost fertility

Some of the top food items that should be consumed during the IVF procedure recommended by the best IVF centre to increase your chances of pregnancy by boosting your fertility are-

 Fruits- Berries and fruits are those food items which are rich in antioxidants. They have high amounts of folic acid and vitamin C which helps in the growth of the fetus during conception. 

Anti-inflammatory phytonutrients and Natural antioxidants are present in strawberries, blueberries and raspberries. These two components play a very crucial role in the fertility of both women and men. 

Beans and lentils- They have a high amount of protein and fibre present in them which plays a great role in the improvement of ovulation. In many cases, it is seen that taking plant based protein rather than animal-based protein has reduced ovulatory infertility to a great extent. 

These legumes also serve as a brilliant source of certain vital components aiding with the process of conception and legumes help in the process of healthy development of the embryo. 

Sunflower seeds- The proper level of sperm can be maintained by consuming sunflower seeds. The kernels of sunflower which are unsalted and roasted have a good amount of Vitamin E present in them, which is a good component for sperm motility and increase. 

Some potent fertility nutrients such as folic acid, selenium and zinc are also present in these seeds which have stellar benefits. 

Avocados- Potassium, folate and Vitamin K are present in the Avocadoes which help the body in the absorption of the vitamin, regulating the blood pressure and so on. Lots of folic acid and dietary fibres can also be achieved from the avocados as they have healthy fats or monounsaturated fat present in them which is important for the early pregnancy stage.

Salmon-You can get a sufficient amount of omega-3 and protein from the salmons to pile up your healthy fat level. By consuming this food item it will help in the process of fetal development during pregnancy. They are rich in Vitamin D which plays a crucial role in raising the level of the semen and enhancing its overall quality. 

To avoid the high quantity of mercury which can be present in the salmon, it is advised to always consume those which are wild-caught. Consuming too much mercury can be dangerous during pregnancy. You can limit your consumption to two times a week to remain safe. 

Asparagus-This is a powerhouse food for people hoping to get pregnant. By consuming a single cup of boiled asparagus you will be able to strengthen your reproductive health. You can also achieve 60% of your recommended folic acid amount, vitamin K and 20% of vitamins A, B and C from Asparagus. 

Walnuts- Omega-6s and Omega-3s present in Walnuts help in the regulation of hormones and maintain proper brain function. It is seen in many cases that men get improved semen health and better quantity, morphology and motility after consuming walnuts regularly.

Egg Yolks- You might want to avoid the egg yolks while consuming eggs to check on your calorie intake. However, egg yolks are rich in Omega-3s and Vitamin B which are beneficial during pregnancy. The folic acid present here helps in creating red blood cells to improve embryo development during pregnancy. 

Whole grains- They are rich in complex carbohydrates which help the body to achieve sustained energy. A good amount of fibre is also present in this food item which will help you in feeling full and thus prevent constipation. 

Quinoa-This amazing whole grain is carb-free. It is rich in zinc, folic acid and protein which help in prenatal protection. You can also achieve healthy fetal growth after conception with this food item. 

If you are a vegetarian you do not have to adapt to take animal-based food during pregnancy as Quinoa has all the essential amino acids that can be present in any meat-based product.

Becoming a parent is the dream of many individuals which can sometimes be disrupted due to many medical and other conditions. If you are suffering from some issues and are not able to conceive you can visit the best IVF Center in India and consult with them about your chances. While undergoing the process you must also follow a strict healthy diet recommended by your specialist to boost your fertility rate and increase your chances of pregnancy.

[nectarplus]

Top Surrogacy Centers in Surat with Affordable Costs

Surrogacy has become a beacon of hope for many couples facing infertility. In Surat, several top-notch surrogacy centers offer world-class services at affordable costs. Here's a comprehensive guide to the leading surrogacy centers in Surat that combine expertise with affordability.

1. Nectarplus Health

Nectarplus Health stands out as a premier surrogacy center in Surat, known for its state-of-the-art facilities and a team of experienced professionals. The center provides a wide range of fertility treatments, including IVF, IUI, and surrogacy, ensuring personalized care for every patient. Nectar Plus Health offers comprehensive surrogacy packages that are transparent and surrogacy at an affordable cost. These packages cover all essential aspects of the surrogacy process, including medical procedures, legal formalities, and surrogate care.

2. Bliss IVF Fertility and Andrology Institute

Bliss IVF Fertility and Andrology Institute is another leading surrogacy center in Surat, renowned for its high success rates and compassionate care. The institute boasts advanced reproductive technologies and a dedicated team of specialists. Bliss IVF offers cost-effective surrogacy plans that cater to the financial constraints of couples while ensuring quality medical care. They provide detailed financial counseling to help prospective parents understand the costs involved.

3. Sunflower Hospital

Sunflower Hospital is a trusted name in the field of reproductive medicine in Surat. With a strong focus on patient-centered care, the hospital provides a range of fertility treatments, including surrogacy, at competitive prices. Sunflower Hospital offers tailored surrogacy packages designed to meet the needs of various patients. Their pricing structure is transparent, with no hidden costs, making it easier for couples to plan their finances.

4. Bavishi Fertility Institute

Bavishi Fertility Institute is well-regarded for its comprehensive fertility services and high ethical standards. The institute offers personalized surrogacy plans and leverages advanced technology to maximize success rates.Bavishi Fertility Institute provides affordable surrogacy packages that include all necessary medical and legal services. They also offer flexible payment options to ease the financial burden on couples.

Conclusion

Surat is home to several top-tier surrogacy centers that offer affordable and high-quality fertility treatments. Nectarplus Health, Bliss IVF, Sunflower Hospital, and Bavishi Fertility Institute are leading the way with their advanced medical services and compassionate care. These centers provide a ray of hope for many couples aspiring to start a family, making surrogacy a viable and affordable option.

For more information on surrogacy options and detailed cost breakdowns, it's advisable to contact these centers directly and schedule a consultation.

[understandingfertility]

Fertility-Friendly Recipes and Nutrition Tips

Nutrition plays a pivotal role in optimizing fertility, and adopting a fertility-friendly diet can enhance the chances of successful conception, especially for those undergoing fertility treatments. In this guide, we explore nutritious recipes and provide valuable nutrition tips to support your fertility journey, considering the importance of overall well-being and factoring in considerations such as IVF treatment cost in Indore.

**1. Balanced Nutrition for Fertility:

Essential Nutrients: A well-balanced diet provides essential nutrients such as folic acid, iron, omega-3 fatty acids, and antioxidants crucial for reproductive health.

Holistic Approach: Nutrition impacts both male and female fertility, influencing factors like egg quality, sperm health, and hormonal balance.

**2. Fertility-Friendly Foods:

a. Leafy Greens:

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- *Spinach, Kale, and Swiss Chard:* Rich in folate and iron, these greens support healthy ovulation and egg quality.

b. Berries:

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- *Blueberries and Strawberries:* Packed with antioxidants, berries help combat oxidative stress and promote reproductive health.

c. Fatty Fish:

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- *Salmon and Mackerel:* Omega-3 fatty acids in fatty fish contribute to improved egg and sperm health.

d. Whole Grains:

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- *Quinoa and Brown Rice:* High in fiber and essential nutrients, whole grains stabilize blood sugar levels and support hormonal balance.

e. Nuts and Seeds:

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- *Almonds and Sunflower Seeds:* Provide healthy fats, zinc, and vitamin E, benefiting both male and female fertility.

**3. Recipes for Fertility:

a. Fertility-Boosting Smoothie:

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- *Ingredients:* Mixed berries, spinach, Greek yogurt, and a teaspoon of flaxseed. - *Instructions:* Blend ingredients for a nutrient-rich smoothie supporting overall fertility.

b. Quinoa Salad:

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- *Ingredients:* Cooked quinoa, mixed vegetables, olive oil, lemon juice, and feta cheese. - *Instructions:* Toss ingredients for a wholesome salad rich in fertility-friendly nutrients.

c. Grilled Salmon with Avocado Salsa:

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- *Ingredients:* Grilled salmon fillet and salsa made with avocados, tomatoes, onions, and cilantro. - *Instructions:* Combine grilled salmon with avocado salsa for a delicious and fertility-boosting meal.

**4. Hydration and Fertility:

Importance of Water: Staying well-hydrated supports overall health, including reproductive health.

Herbal Teas: Non-caffeinated herbal teas like peppermint or chamomile can be a hydrating and fertility-friendly choice.

**5. Supplements and IVF Treatment Cost in Indore:

Folic Acid: Folic acid is crucial for preventing neural tube defects and supporting early fetal development.

Vitamin D: Adequate vitamin D levels are associated with improved fertility outcomes.

Consultation with Healthcare Provider: Discussing the need for supplements with a healthcare provider is essential, considering individual requirements and IVF treatment cost in Indore.

**6. Meal Planning and Portion Control:

Regular, Balanced Meals: Eating regular, balanced meals helps maintain stable blood sugar levels.

Portion Control: Moderation in portion sizes contributes to weight management, a factor impacting fertility.

**7. Limiting Processed Foods and Sugar:

Processed Foods: Limiting processed foods reduces exposure to additives and preservatives that may impact reproductive health.

Refined Sugar: High sugar intake can contribute to inflammation and hormonal imbalances, affecting fertility.

**8. Cooking Methods:

Grilling and Baking: Opting for grilling or baking over frying preserves the nutritional value of foods.

Healthy Oils: Using olive oil or avocado oil in cooking provides healthy fats beneficial for fertility.

Conclusion:

Embracing fertility-friendly recipes and nutrition tips is a proactive step towards optimizing reproductive health. At the best IVF center in Indore, we recognize the significance of nutrition in the fertility journey. Our team of experienced fertility specialists, along with nutrition experts, collaborates to provide comprehensive care, considering individual needs and IVF treatment cost in Indore. By integrating a fertility-friendly diet into your lifestyle, you contribute to creating an environment conducive to successful conception and a healthy pregnancy.

[randomfoggytiger]

X-Files Collector's Edition:  The Fics That Started It All

Sometime into quarantine, I ran across The X-Files while watching YouTube reacts. Frustrated by the vague clips and loose connective tissues these vids gave, I pulled up Wikipedia and decided to venture forth on my own. My first solo episode was either Ice or Squeeze, can’t remember which. From there, I raced through the seasons at breakneck speed, but stopped cold turkey after Existence (and refused to finish the rest.) It was either a Reddit link or a Google link that brought me to Tumblr for fill-ins after S8-- and from there, magic. 

The First Three (in loose order): 

 skuls/@ghostbustermelanieking

ghostbustermelanieking writes the best short and punchy fics; in fact, it was through perusing her Tumblr that I came to the radical realization that I love shorter fics over larger ones. Her AUs are probably her best work, period, especially if you like to-the-point stories that speak pages of meaning through a handful of words. I have (probably) all of skuls’s fics saved, but my favorites are her tiny fics on Tumblr. I fear everyday they shall be nuked into the void. (Updated: I copy-pasted them all into Google Docs, so I’m prepared for the apocalypse. >:) )

IVF Christmas is that fic that will get me goofy smiling every. single. time. Can’t help myself-- must include quote and summary: 

“...But when she gets back, she finds Maggie and Mulder engaged in polite conversation, probably spurred on by the fact that he’s been in an incredibly good mood since some time this morning. He keeps catching her eyes over Maggie’s shoulder and grinning dopily. Scully smiles back.”

Scully and Mulder have just celebrated positive IVF news; and Scully, due to fly out to Cali that morning with Maggie, cannot leave Mulder behind. What follows are poignant one-off moments throughout their trip. The dialogue is stupendous. skuls is blessed with the ability to use every. tiny. detail. to flesh out her characters into fully formed, realistic people.  This fic is tiny in size, but mighty in content. Many a longer fic has paled in comparison to this giant.

@baronessblixen (Ao3) 

I cannot remember if I found skuls or Baroness Blixen first; but they were the anchors that locked me into this wonderfully varied world of stories. I DO know Baroness (or Anika) is the sweetest responder to anons, and got me interested in opening my own blog. I have no idea which of her fics I read first (except that it was either IVF or S8); so there’s nothing specific to link. Her fics cover all fic genres, all XF eras, all possible ins and outs. To pick just one is a crime; but I had to settle on Five Minutes (Ao3)--

“It’s time.

“I took one five minutes ago.”

“Oh,” he says. Then, once realization kicks in, his eyes grow wide. “Oh!”” 

--because it’s the perfect pair to skul’s above IVF fic. 

(Also: if I remember correctly, this is her favorite fic: a perfect blend of complex, unavoidable pain and happy endings for Mulder, Scully, and Will on the run.) 

@wexleresque/hllsteeth 

I can’t remember how or when I found hllsteeth’s fics; but she has Mulder’s special brand of snark and Scully’s subtle duality down to a science. My heart immediately knit itself onto her stars fic; and I had a mini heart attack when I lost it briefly-- but LO AND BEHOLD, I have recovered it! (She’s currently writing an AU for Requiem that captures S1 Mulder and Scully to a T. Highly recommend.)

““You said you’d take him for the next two weeks,” his mother hisses into the phone from the kitchen, hardly making an effort to conceal her voice. “What am I supposed to do now, Bill?”

Fox plays with the frayed edge of his t-shirt as he sits on the stairs and listens. Upstairs, his well-worn suitcase is stuffed full of the necessities for two weeks at his father’s Vineyard house. He should be on his way there by now, listening to the sound of his father spitting sunflower seeds out the window as they carve through the New England roads. According to his mother, there’d been a hold up, something about his father’s job and a meeting with the Secretary of State. Thinking back to the feeble explanation, Fox snorts and shakes his head. He’s heard that particular line half a dozen times by now.”

This is brilliant. Mulder’s intelligence and miserable affectation in the face of his parents’ bitter back-and-forth is incredibly well-depicted. Bill’s and Tena’s emotional neglect of their son is more powerful than other fics I’ve read, which are peppered with overt physical abuse. This speaks to that cold vein of an upper-crust, older generation, where disapproval is a defter weapon than a fist. Mulder going through the motions for his father’s sake is so poignant that it hooked me forever on fanfic. (Lost this once and was immediately heartsick.) 

These authors are the ride-or-die for me. Every piece they’ve written is nuanced and worth its weight in gold. But, more importantly, without them I would never have ventured into fic as entertainment, or spent a year elbows-deep into the guts of Ao3, Gossamer, and Tumblr mini-fics. May they live forever.

This was long-winded-- rest assured, from here on out my posts will be far tidier and far less rambly.

Enjoy! 

[queenshelby]

Roommates – Part Fourteen

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 1,580

Warning: Fluff

Note: This plays in 2020. It’s all fiction and not based on Cillian’s real life and family.

It has been a week since Cillian found out about Laura’s lie and, as expected, it took him some time to come to terms with it. Whilst, on one hand, he was relieved that she wasn’t pregnant after all he had been through with her, he was also somewhat disappointed by it. After all, he had been looking forward to finally becoming a father after him and his ex-wife Lindsay went through IVF for many years unsuccessfully.  

Luckily for him, you knew that he was struggling and you were there to pick up the pieces and support him through this horrible initial week after he had found out.

Unfortunately for you, Laura had also since found out that you were involved with Cillian and ceased the opportunity to seek revenge which, for some reason, she still thought she was entitled to. Her friendship with most of your mutual friends had been destroyed after it was found out what she did. But this wasn’t your fault you thought. It was hers alone.

After sending you at least ten text messages, telling you how you were the most horrible person who had ever walked this earth, she informed James and most of your other friends and Cillian’s family about your relationship with Cillian in order to get them to turn on you instead of her.

As a result, James kept calling, messaging and emailing you constantly and you ran out of options on how to block him after he obtained several new phone numbers and email addresses so that he could harass you, thinking that you had been involved with Cillian for years.

As for your family and friends, you found it difficult to explain to them that there was only some truth to what Laura was saying. You tried hard to make clear to them that you were not in a relationship with Cillian and it was Cillian’s mother herself who didn’t take your and her son’s explanations serious.

‘I think my mother is set on the idea that we are together’ Cillian chuckled as he handed you the invitation to her 70th birthday which specifically mentioned you as his plus one.

‘She told me about it already. She also enquires about your wellbeing on a daily basis, darling. Apparently, you aren’t very forthcoming to her about your feelings. Luckily, her birthday not until after Christmas’ you laughed.

You had always gotten along well with Cillian’s mother since you met her almost ten years ago.

‘I am not sure if I should be more amused by the fact that my mother talks to you more often than to me or that she thinks that we will be out of lockdown by January next year’ Cillian then said, smiling before offering you a cup of tea.

‘Well, you know your mum and I get on like a house on fire, sweetheart’ you then joked before approaching Cillian and kissing him gently.

You didn’t usually kiss. Kissing was only to initiate sex which you have had plenty off over the past week even while Cillian was feeling rather depressed about what happened.

You knew that sex would get his mind of the pain Laura had caused him and you were more than willing to distract him from all the madness in his life.

In turn, sex led to you sharing a bed and, since you had sex every night and sometimes even during the day, you pretty much slept in the same room continuously for weeks on end. Sometimes you would stay in Cillian’s room while, on other nights, he would come to yours. It was almost like musical chairs.

But tonight, this was all about to change as, in the morning, you had just gotten your first period since you started being intimate with each other.

As such, you quickly apologised for the kiss you had just given him to ensure that he wouldn’t get the wrong idea about your intentions.

‘Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to initiate anything. I was just sneaking in a cheeky little kiss’ you said somewhat embarrassed as you quickly pulled away from the kiss.

‘No period sex then I suppose?’ Cillian joked, knowing very well that this was off the table for you even though he had explained to you that it wouldn’t bother him.

‘Absolutely not Cillian’ you giggled before reaching for some more of the pain killers on the kitchen counter.

‘Well, if you change your mind tonight, you know where my bedroom is’ Cillian winked and you couldn’t help but shake your head in disgust.

‘Trust me Cilly, I won’t’ you chuckled.

‘Alright then. No sex tonight. Got it’ Cillian chuckled before offering you to fill up your hot water bottle. ‘How about I fill this up for you, we have some wine, order some pizza and watch a movie?’ Cillian suggested as he took the hot water bottle from you.

‘That would be nice’ you said, smiling and wanting to kiss him again, but refraining from doing so for obvious reasons. You reminded yourself that you weren’t more than friends with benefits, regardless of the rumours out there which Laura had spread.

***

Half an hour later, you finally settled in the living room with your hot water bottle and two glasses of red wine.

Being so close to Cillian and unable to be intimate with him bothered you and you could see that it bothered him too as he tried hard to keep his hands to himself.

Occasionally, you felt his hand brush over the top of your cotton pants and then move away quickly as if he was a shy little school boy who was doing something naughty and who thought you wouldn’t notice.

It was strange, the fact that you both only ever showed affection towards each other while, before or after you were having sex. But then again, of course, it was normal considering your arrangement. You were friends and, if kissing wouldn’t turn you both on so incredibly much, you probably wouldn’t even be doing that in the bedroom.

But even just in that moment, where he was sitting next to you and was watching a movie with you, you wanted to kiss him desperately and a kiss was all you wanted.

You felt the urge to snuggle up against him and rest your head against his chest but you thought that this also would be inappropriate you restrained yourself from it for the remainder of the evening.

***

At around 10 o’clock, you finally called it a night. You were tired and exhausted and needed a good nights’ sleep.

Unfortunately for you, sleep was something you struggled with and it was when you lay in your bed for an hour, tossing and turning with your eyes wide open, that you realised what was missing.

It was the warmth which would normally radiate from Cillian’s body when you cuddled up against him and it was the scent of his skin you breathed in when laying in his arms.

Even if you couldn’t be intimate with him, you wanted to be near him, kiss him and cuddle him and feeling this way about him wasn’t something you were prepared for.

***

Little did you know that you weren’t the only one craving this kind of closeness and non-sexual intimacy. Cillian also was laying on his bed, restless and unable to sleep, realising that something was missing.

He adored the smell of your hair and the softness of your skin pressed against his. He loved spooning against you while you held his arms tight as he wrapped them around you.

He also loved the little sounds you were making in your dreams when there was clearly something pleasurable on your mind.

He soon realised that his efforts to simply fall asleep like this on his own were going to be futile and he decided to get himself another glass of water from the kitchen and settle with a book until he would be tired enough to go back to bed and try again.

***

‘Still up?’ Cillian asked as he walked into the kitchen and saw you filling up your hot water bottle again.

‘I can’t sleep’ you pouted while moving aside and allowing Cillian to fill up his glass.

‘Me neither’ Cillian then said before making a suggestion which could possibly change that.

‘Do you…uhm…want company…in bed?’ Cillian then shuddered somewhat reluctantly.

‘Cillian, I am not going to have sex with you, I told you that’ you said somewhat amused by the fact that he was still trying to convince you otherwise.

‘I didn’t mean for us to have sex Y/N’ Cillian then explained and your eyes widened immediately.

‘So, you mean just us sharing a bed to sleep?’ you asked confused, causing Cillian to nod.

‘Just to sleep and maybe kiss…if you want to’ Cillian said almost shyly.

‘Just kissing?’ you asked again, unsure about his motives.

‘Just kissing’ Cillian confirmed.

 Tag List:

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @ @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​

@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  

[ivfsunflower]

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[enigmaticxbee]

✖️✖️✖️ 8x16 Three Words

The one where... poor traumatized Mulder is trying to figure out where he fits in now that he’s back from the undead.

Best: Scully’s on the verge of tears Mulder after he distantly congratulates her on the pregnancy conveys so much about what she’s holding back because he’s not ready to deal with it.

Worst: It’s not that Mulder’s reaction doesn’t make sense, that he wouldn’t be having a little trouble... processing... everything (everything encompassing his abduction, torture, death, missing 6 months, Scully’s miraculous pregnancy), and that Scully (also coming off a traumatic 6 months and the death of her partner and baby’s father) wouldn’t emotionally retreat to give him space to process. It’s that as viewers we spent almost a year waiting for this reunion and to see Mulder’s reaction to finding out about the baby and it’s frustrating as hell that because they want to play coy about the paternity and draw this out to the end of the season we get these stilted interactions without the subsequent emotional catharsis we’ve been waiting for.

❌ Flashlights

❌ Woods/Desert

❌ Slideshow

❌ Autopsy

✔️ Evidence Disappears

❌ Scully Misses It

❌ Mulder Ditch

❌ Sunflower Seeds

❌ Voiceover

❌ Catch Phrase

❌ Scully is a Medical Doctor

❌ Mulder is Spooky

✔️ Scuuullllaaaaayy!

❌ Fox/Dana

❌ Inappropriate Touching (that I am here for)

✔️ Casual Scully

✔️ Casual Mulder

❌ Trench Coats

❌ Bad Tie Watch

❌ Glasses Watch

✔️ Taking! It! Personally!:Mulder

50 States: DC x80 (42/50)

Investigate: Together & Apart

Solve Rate: 69%

❌ Bechdel Test: No other women in this episode 😐

MSR: 🐝🐝🐝

Goriness: 👽👽

Creepiness: 👽👽

Humor: 👽👽

Rewatch Thoughts:

Doggett check-in: He’s a good egg this episode. Not that Mulder’s there to see it but Doggett is very defensive of Mulder’s right to the X-Files with Kersh. And then he’s so pleased to see Mulder when he walks into Skinner’s office and Mulder just shoves him and accuses him of stealing the X-Files to cover up the truth. He still goes after Mulder at the census bureau, not just for Scully’s sake, but because he unwittingly played a part in setting Mulder up and he has to try to save him, no matter how resistant he is to Doggett’s help.

Pregnancy check-in: Lotssss of awkward who’s the daddy stuff 🙄. I don’t think Mulder thinks he’s not the father - just that he’s not ready to deal with it, plus I’m absolutely sure they never discussed what his role would be if the IVF worked so he’s unsure of what she wants now. And she doesn’t want to put pressure on him when he told her he’s not ready and is dealing with his trauma by being distant and glib.

You can tell that GA has actual experience being pregnant - unlike a lot of actresses with fake baby bumps she walks and sits like it’s realistically changing her center of gravity.

First of all: the episode title is a giant troll - evoking “I love you” but then frustrating the hell out of shippers; actually referring to the title of txf movie 🙄

It’s wild how they don’t even try to come up with an explanation for Mulder’s apartment still being there, let alone still fully furnished exactly how he left it 3 months after his death (fanfic has certainly tried)

A Harry Potter reference 🤔 - logically I know HP and txf overlapped in time but somehow they don’t in my mind

Scully is very anxious to get Mulder back on the X-Files 🥺

Kersh’s assessment of Scully and Doggett’s success rate (by my calculations 73% after 6 months) vs Scully and Mulder’s (62% after 7 years) is technically correct but pretty unfair to Mulder - their season 7 solve rate for example was also 73%.

Ahh, falling right back into old patterns. Mulder: Come on Scully, break the rules with me. Scully: Reminds Mulder of the consequences of breaking the rules. Mulder: We better not get caught then. Scully: Shuts the door and helps him.

I like this as new motivation for Mulder: Look, Scully, I need to make sense of what happened to me. So that I can stop it. Because if I can’t stop it, it could happen to anyone. It could happen to you.

Frohike’s reunion with Mulder 🥰

Where was Scully going after the scene with the Lone Gunmen? That scene took place at her apartment and then as far as I can tell she was about to leave in a taxi when Doggett finds her. And then she goes back up to her apartment where Mulder is sitting alone in the dark and he asks why she’s back at her own apartment? 🤔 I feel like I’m missing something.

Scully calling the Lone Gunmen Gunmen 🥺

If Super Soldiers are identifiable by those bumps on their necks you’d think they’d make a little more effort to conceal them...

Episode-Related Fanfic Recs:

Slow Returns by @o6666666 - helps make sense of Scully’s behavior in this episode especially that awkward scene in Mulder’s apt (because she is not fine) and then fixes it. The post TINH part though, oof, rip out my heart why don’t you.

Untitled drabble post-Three Little Words/pre-Empedocles by @wtfmulder - What happened between Three Words and Empedocles to change Mulder’s detached response to Scully and the baby.

The Long Way Home by Blackwood - missing scenes, Mulder working through his shit. (On Gossamer so if the link doesn’t work you can search for it there.

Home Run by @kittenscully - in which John gets involved in something that is none of his business. I like this Doggett.

[freckleslikestars]

The Road to Family

(named by GillianG86 on AO3)

Mid-season 5 start of the IVF-arc. A discussion in a car about menstruation and sperm.

1800 words, read here on AO3

‘I need to use the bathroom at the next rest stop,’ Scully said absently as she scanned through the casefile on her lap.

‘Sure, no problem. We should probably fill up, anyway: we’re heading into the wilds.’

Eye-rolls abound, ‘it’s Tennessee, Mulder, not Outer Mongolia. There will be gas stations and civilisation in close proximity should we run out – we’ve been to more cut off places in our time.’

They settle into their usual amiable silence, the occasional snick of a sunflower seed husk or the turning of a page their background music until Mulder pulls into the gas station. ‘You need anything?’ he calls as she disappears around the back to the bathrooms, purse slung over her shoulder. She shakes her head, as she always does. She’s Scully; always prepared, always packed well in advance. She never needs more than what she’s got with her because when she’s packing she’s thinking about packing, rather than thinking about aliens.

She was back in the car by the time he was done paying, knocking back two Advil with a bottle of water.

‘You good?’

‘Yeah. Only three more hours of driving left,’ she sighs, dropping her head back and closing her eyes.

‘You love it really,’ he murmurs as he pulls back onto the highway, glancing across at her as her brow furrowed, expecting a sarcastic comment and receiving a pensive silence.

He wasn’t stupid - well, okay, not entirely stupid – he knew she only asked for a bathroom break when she was on her period, knew she only took her bag to the bathroom with her when she needed tampons. She fidgeted more, too, when she was on her period, never able to find a comfortable position whether she was sat in a car or at a desk. But that didn’t normally prevent her from quipping back. He blindly reaches a hand into his pocket and pulled out a double Snickers, tearing the wrapper and removing one with his teeth before proffering the other to her, ‘I ownwy wan’ wawn.’

‘Thanks,’ she smiles as she takes the candy, knowing that he brought it for her but didn’t want to say anything, worried she’d reject him. He did this every time, his MO.

‘Can I ask you something, Scully?’

She looks over at him, cautious as she chews the chocolate; Mulder never asked to ask, ‘sure…doesn’t mean I’ll answer, but go ahead.’

‘Why do you still get your period?’ her eyebrows raised, and before she could squeak out an indignant excuse me? around caramel and nougat glued teeth, he was hurrying on with an explanation, ‘I mean, since they took your eggs, surely there’s no reason for your body to go through this every month…?’

Her indignation fades slowly as she thinks about her answer, taking the last bite of her chocolate whilst figuring out how to explain. ‘Just because there isn’t an egg, doesn’t mean there aren’t still the hormones that regulate menstruation. As far as my body is concerned, it still thinks there are eggs to release each month, still thinks my uterus needs preparing to take that egg and fertilise it, and so still needs to shed the lining every month. Technically, I don’t menstruate – it’s called an anovulatory cycle. It’s why I didn’t-’ she pauses, staring down at her lap, the piece of skin she’s tearing at around her thumb ‘-it’s why I didn’t notice, after I was returned. Not until I was having my check-ups after remission.’

‘They don’t…you can’t tell at all? They don’t feel any different?’

A slow headshake, ‘no. They’re slightly more irregular now, but not so much that it was a concern.’

‘Can’t you stop them? I mean, if you can’t, you know, get pregnant, can’t you just stop them?’

‘My doctor suggested various forms of birth control, but none of them is without their side effects, so I don’t see the point,’ she shrugs then looks over at him, a small smile touching her lips, ‘besides, I uh, I’m looking into IVF.’

He stares at her. So many thoughts flash through his head he barely has time to grasp onto them. Some of them he misses altogether.

Her eyes are widening and her arm is reaching across him to pull the steering wheel just as a horn blares, ‘Jesus, Mulder, are you trying to get us killed?!’

‘I…I…shit,’ he pulls onto the shoulder and drops his head to the steering wheel, trying to slow his heart down. ‘You need to leave the X-files.’

That…probably wasn’t the right thing to say. Not judging by her open mouth and the hurt expression plastered across her face. ‘I tell you some of the best news I had in the past few years and you tell me I need to leave the X-files? Fuck you, Mulder. This is my quest just as much as it is yours now. It’s my body they screwed with, my ova they stole, lest you forget. I’m not leaving just because you think I’m lesser, just because you don’t value family, just because I’m a woman and I want a child-‘

‘Scully, stop. Stop. I just-‘ he heaves a sigh as he tries to order his racing thoughts ‘-I meant that you can’t be doing this, travelling across country, driving for hours on end, running through forests and bullet fire, whilst trying for a baby. And when you get your baby, you need to spend all of your time being a mom – a great mom. Just…I’d have said the same if you’d been able to keep Emily, too. I don’t think you’re lesser, or weak. I just want to protect you, because you’re my family. Okay? That’s all I meant,’ he reaches a hand over and takes hers, ‘I promise. It’s really great news, Scully.’

She nods, slowly, the smile that had brushed across her lips blooming fully, ‘thank you.’

‘No problem,’ he smiles, pulling away again. ‘So, you, uh, you get to choose a guy, like out of a catalogue? Sort of like buying a couch?’ he’d meant it as a joke, but the images of Scully and a little boy, a thatch of blond curls and her startling blue eyes, some other man’s DNA mingling with hers, betrayed him with bitter, jealous thoughts, letting the humour fall flat.

A frown crosses her previously happy face, ‘well, I think there are a few more things to consider than when one buys a couch, but yes, that is essentially how it works. But there are other options, too. I can ask someone I know, someone I trust.’

‘And that would be your preferred choice?’

‘Yes, I think so. If I can’t do it the old fashioned way, I would like to at least try to have a child with someone I already have a connection with. Just to make it a little more personal, a little less like a science experiment.’

‘You got someone in mind? I’m sure Skinner would jump at the chance,’ another joke that never even got off the ground.

‘I don’t think asking my boss for his sperm is a particularly good idea. It would probably make budget meetings uncomfortable.’

That elicits a snort from him, and he thinks that maybe she’s okay with joking about this after all, ‘what about Byers? He’s smart, likeable. And not unattractive in a certain light.’

She laughs, ‘I’ll tell him you said that. But alas, I think perhaps Frohike would be jealous.’

‘You could always get all three of the Gunmen to, you know, all into the same…and then it would be kind of like a pot lu-‘

‘Mulder!’ a horrified look is on her face when he glances over at her with a smirk, ‘you’re disgusting. Truly, truly disgusting. Ugh, I’m never going to be able to go into their office again now, you know that right?’ she was shaking her head, but her scowl couldn’t hide the grin she was attempting to stifle.

He lets the subject drop whilst she’s happy, not wanting to actually know who he’d have to accept as the father of her child. He couldn’t think of many more men she knew, though that wasn’t to say she didn’t know other people outside of work she’d never bothered to tell him about. She didn’t really talk about her life away from him; what little time there was for that to commence. He only got dribs and drabs about her family. The occasional mention of old school friends, few and far between. For all he knew, she was seeing someone and she’d never told him, never introduced them. Perhaps she was too ashamed of her spooky work partner. Perhaps she didn’t want him to feel bad about all the times he dragged her away for work. She probably went home to this guy and bitched about him each night. It would explain why she was thinking about having a child, and why she wasn’t just using an anonymous donor.

‘Actually,’ she breaks him from his thoughts with a soft, quiet voice – if he didn’t know her better, he would have said she sounded shy – ‘I was going to ask you.’

The breaks squeal as they burn rubber into the tarmac, one of Scully’s arms automatically reaching across to brace him as her other lands on the dash. They’re both breathing heavily as the second blast of a horn echos around them. ‘Scully,’ he says, voice forced into a quiet, calm, controlled tone, ‘please repeat what you just said.’

‘I said that I was going to ask you about being my donor.’

‘Okay. Okay, that’s what I thought you said,’ and with that he was turning the engine back on as he put the car into reverse, swinging it back and pulling round to head back in the direction they came from.

‘Mulder, what the hell are you doing?’

‘Going home. We’re going back home and we’re going to sit down with tea or coffee or vodka or whatever we need and we are going to discuss this. Not in a layby or a motel. We’re going to talk all of this through.’

‘Mulder, we’re on a case! We’ve just driven five hours and now you want to drive five hours back without even meeting with the local PD?’

‘Scully, I will not be able to concentrate on anything until we’ve talked about this. And I don’t want to have that talk somewhere we’re both not comfortable with. So we’re going home. We can go to your place or mine, but we’re going home and we’re going to think about this. Okay?’

‘Okay. Well, what do you want to know?’

He shakes his head, ‘we’re not talking about it in the car.’

Ten miles later, he looks over as she stares pensively out of the window. ‘Why me, Scully?’

‘Because,’ she says, reaching over to take his hand, ‘you’re my family.’

[megalony]

Growing soft

This is a Ben Hardy mini-series I am going to be working on, based off of a request from the lovely @storiesfrommirkwood​ I hope you all like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem​ @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid​ @jennyggggrrr​ @rogermeddow​ @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me​ @peterquillzsblog​

Ben Hardy masterlist

Part 2

Summary: Ben has always been set on the idea of not having kids, but when (Y/n) becomes a surrogate for Gwilym and his wife, Ben wonders if he really is sure about no kids after all.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Despite the apprehension and concern in his voice, there was no denying the small surge of anticipation and excitement that could be heard in Gwilym's voice. He was trying very hard not to let that excitement get the better of him in case this didn't end up going in the direction they were hoping for, but he couldn't dull it down completely.

His hand tightened around the glass resting on the table but it did nothing to stop the way his whole frame was beginning to jitter from nerves. They had never gotten this close before, they'd never reached this point in all the other times they had tried and somehow it just seemed too good to be true.

"I'm sure."

Those two little words made Gwilym's heart feel like it was rising into his throat and caused a huge swarm of butterflies to erupt in his chest like his body was being pumped full of helium and he was rising to the ceiling. He knew there was still a long way to go and things could happen and go wrong along that journey, but the fact was this journey was finally taking off. They were no longer planning and daydreaming about this, it was actually happening. All because of (Y/n).

Lifting her eyes from her glass that her fingers very lightly tracing around, (Y/n) couldn't help the way she began to shake from the bubbling excitement inside of her like she was about to explode. A grin slowly but surely took over her features and a laugh escaped her lips when she looked at two of her closest friends sitting opposite her at the table.

The pure joy she could see in Amy's eyes was nothing like she had ever seen before and her smile widened as she watched Amy's arms wrap around Gwilym's bicep and she shook his arm like she was desperate for his attention.

"We're having a baby." Amy whispered the words in ecstasy to the man sitting beside her before her eyes darted over to (Y/n). Without even thinking, she reached across the table and took (Y/n)'s hand very tightly in her own to the point she was cutting off her circulation to show her just how happy and thankful she was for what (Y/n) was about to do for them.

Amy and Gwilym had tried for a year after getting married to have a baby before switching to IVF but every effort had either been dashed or ended in heartache. Needless to say, it had been a harsh blow to the stomach when they had to come to the conclusion that having a baby of their own wasn't going to happen naturally. But they just couldn't think about adopting until they'd explored every possibility and their last effort was a surrogate.

Having someone else go through the pregnancy for them wasn't what Amy had initially wanted, she wanted to be the one to experience the scans and the kicks and the labour. But this was the only way she and Gwilym were going to get a child of their own.

They'd talked with three other people before (Y/n) had offered to help and now it seemed like they were going to get their wish.

"What about Ben? Is he gonna be okay with all of this?" Gwilym's smile dimmed down just a little when his friend suddenly came to the front of his mind. Gwilym knew Ben well, he knew he could be both laid back and passionate and involved in everything at the same time and he knew Ben had different views and opinions and was broad minded. But he had no clue how Ben would react to this kind of situation, after all it was his wife who would be having a baby for someone else.

"We've talked about it and he's completely fine with this, I swear. He even said he'd come to the scans, so..." (Y/n) trailed off with a shrug of her shoulders and a small but gentle smile on her lips.

She knew what she was walking into here and everything that would come with this.

She would be going through nine months of changes and then labour, all to end up without a baby, but that was okay with her. (Y/n) also knew it was going to be in the media a lot when people eventually found out she was pregnant but then realised after the birth she wouldn't be walking around with a baby at the end of things. It would be awkward for Ben too if he had interviews during the pregnancy and ended up telling people it wasn't really his or (Y/n)'s baby.

But (Y/n) wanted this, badly.

Ben didn't want kids. He didn't feel he would be a bad father, he actually liked kids and was great with his niece and nephews and he knew he would be a good dad. But it simply wasn't what he saw for his future, at first he put it off because he wanted to focus on his career but now it just wasn't what he wanted. Ben liked things as they were, he liked being married to (Y/n) without kids in the mix and he liked travelling and working a lot, kids didn't come into the dynamic at the moment and he wanted to keep it that way. He had no need or craving for kids like his friends all did.

(Y/n) knew from the beginning that kids wasn't likely to happen for her and Ben and that was okay. She and Ben were busy, they had work and they did a lot of travelling together and it was nice, just the two of them so she tried her best not to think too much about not having kids.

But (Y/n) couldn't deny to herself that she wanted a baby someday, and giving Gwilym and Amy a child was the perfect situation. Ben didn't have to worry about changes or think about kids because the baby wasn't theirs and (Y/n) knew things would be the same after the baby was born. She could experience a pregnancy like she always wanted and give herself a small taste of motherhood as well as the satisfaction that she had helped her closest friends in the best way she possibly could.

It was a win win situation for everybody.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Baby, you okay?" A soft smile formed on Ben's lips when his eyes found (Y/n) standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Ben placed his cup down on the counter he was leaning against before he straightened up instead of being slouched over the counter.

(Y/n) didn't look upset or confused or hurt but she did look a little off, like there was something playing on her mind and she felt she had to talk about it. The smallest, kindest of smiles pulled at her lips and it made Ben's heart both melt and jump at the same time. He couldn't tell if her smile meant she was okay or if there was actually something wrong she was trying to dull down or ignore. His eyes watched her contently as she leaned her head against the door frame and crossed one leg over the other in a manner that always managed to capture his full attention without meaning to. A few seconds passed without any words before (Y/n) sighed and moved one of her arms that had previously been held behind her back.

"It worked." (Y/n)'s smile turned to one of both worry and nerves as she placed the positive pregnancy test on the counter for Ben to see.

(Y/n) had been more than surprised when she first brought up the subject to Ben and he seemed almost absolutely fine with it. He admitted it was going to be weird if (Y/n) decided to go through with it but he was by no means opposed to the idea. It was her body and her decision and Ben thought it was one of the most generous things for (Y/n) to do for Gwilym and Amy.

The smile that formed on Ben's lips relieved a weight that was beginning to press down on (Y/n)'s chest and when he motioned for her to come over to him, she obliged immediately. Walking the small distance over to where he was standing, (Y/n) pushed her head into his chest as her arms bound around his torso. Shivers ran down her spine when his arms wrapped around her and she felt him kissing her temple but he was smiling into the kiss.

In all honesty, (Y/n) hadn't expected to get pregnant the first time around, they had all been told that it had a probability of not working on the first go. But she was relieved that it had worked, she didn't fancy having to try again and again until the embryo finally started to form. The quicker this whole process went the better it would be. (Y/n) knew there was still a long way to go since she was only two months pregnant and there could be any number of complications or she could lose the baby. But she was going to relish in the relief and delight she was feeling right now.

She couldn't wait to see Gwilym and Amy and tell them the good news.

"Are you sure you're okay with all this? It's not going to be easy or very fun..." (Y/n) tilted her head up until she could rest her chin on Ben's chest in order to look at him properly.

"Sweetheart, I promise you that this is okay with me. I may not want kids of my own, but this isn't our baby, I've got nothing against you doing this." At the end of the day, Ben couldn't tell (Y/n) what she could or couldn't do with her body, he would never dream of doing that. He knew she was giving him a lot of say in this decision because it involved him and they were married, but it didn't affect Ben.

Ben may not want kids himself but he had nothing against kids or babies in general, he was very good with the children in their family. He thought t was admirable to have a baby considering all of the things it would put a woman's body through. It just wasn't something he could see for himself.

This wasn't their baby and he didn't think of it as if it was their child. They didn't have to get anything prepared or buy and baby clothes or change their lives for this, it was just nine months of a few moderate changes. Ben thought it was both admirable and brave of (Y/n) to put herself through this all for someone else so they could be happy. There were far too many people who wouldn't even consider being a surrogate to help others out.

Leaning up on her toes, (Y/n) moved her arms that were previously around Ben's waist so she could cup his face and press her lips to his own. She had known from the beginning that Ben wouldn't be angry or annoyed or downright refuse her doing this, but it made her heart explode knowing just how easygoing he was about this and how caring he was. Ben wasn't the slightest bit uncomfortable or resentful or put off about this and that was more than she could ever ask of him in this situation.

After all, he was going through this process with her, Ben was going to see his wife have a baby for someone else and that wasn't exactly normal or an everyday occurrence.

"Thank you." (Y/n)'s voice was quiet and gentle and a genuine smile formed on her lips when they pulled back. She brushed her thumb over his cheek as she felt his hands moving to hold her hips. They stayed like that for a few minutes in a peaceful silence until (Y/n) pressed another kiss to his lips before eventually pulling away so she could go and get a drink.

Ben turned around and leaned his back against the counter before he picked up his coffee, his eyes following (Y/n) as she headed over to the fridge.

"I'll have to book the twelve week scan soon." (Y/n) mused quietly whilst she grabbed the juice and got a cup from the cupboard on her left. Thinking about the scans really made it sink in that this was happening but (Y/n) didn't quite know how to feel about this. Growing up she had always told herself she didn't want kids but that had changed when she got older. When she married Ben she was fine with not having kids and now she could have the experience just once, even if she wouldn't get a baby at the end of it.

It was going to be weird going to scans and having to remember it wasn't really her baby she was having. It shared none of her DNA and none of Ben's either, it was Gwilym and Amy's baby that they had longed for since they first got together.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Ben noticed the way (Y/n)'s hand tightened around her glass like she thought it was about to slip through her fingers before she spun round on her heels to face him.

When they had first discussed this and Ben had said it was fine with him, he had offered to go along to any scans or checkups so (Y/n) wasn't doing it alone. (Y/n) had already talked about this kind of thing with Gwilym and Amy and they had agreed when (Y/n) asked if she could go to the scans alone. She would obviously tell them all the updates and give them the scan photos and such, but she wanted to do it on her own. It would feel too awkward with them there and they had said that it was perfectly fine because this was (Y/n)'s experience too and they didn't want to make it uncomfortable for her.

But when Ben first offered to come along, (Y/n) didn't think he was serious or that he would actually go through with it. She thought he was trying to be supportive but when the time came, he might feel too awkward to actually come along.

When (Y/n) turned around to face him, she saw the genuine look in his eyes and the almost cheeky smile on his lips showed he wasn't messing her around or asking out of nervousness or because he thought he should. He genuinely wanted to if she wanted him there.

"Really?"

"I can't have you going alone, what will the doctor think?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, if you'd like to take a seat we can take a look at your little one." The slightly aged but very bright midwife moved her hand to gesture to the bed she wanted (Y/n) to lie on before she moved to set up the monitor.

Both (Y/n) and Ben shared a silent but knowing look between them before they walked over to go and sit down. It had already been agreed between the couple that if the midwife or doctors didn't know about this being a surrogate pregnancy, they wouldn't correct them. It would waste too much time and be too annoying to have to explain that this wasn't their baby, it was actually their friend's baby they were just 'looking after' temporarily.

(Y/n) knew it was going to be so much easier to just turn up to scans and checkups with Ben and just pretend this was their baby. It saved a lot of hassle and awkwardness.

Moving over to the bed, (Y/n) sat up and stretched her legs out whilst Ben sat down on the seat next to her. When she turned to look at him, (Y/n) could see the curiosity in his eyes that were flitting between her and the monitor. He'd never been in this position before and he never imagined that he would be, but he couldn't deny that it made his stomach burst with adrenaline.

Ben watched (Y/n) roll her shirt up but when he noticed her dragging her nails across the bed she was lying on, he reached over and took her hand. He could see the nervousness rattling through her whole body to the point she was almost shaking and he knew why.

Gwilym and Amy had been waiting for this moment for years and they truly didn't think this would ever happen. Ben could see how nervous (Y/n) was in case the midwife told her that there was a problem or she'd lost the baby or had had a phantom pregnancy. She didn't want to upset or let her friends down and it was making her panic when she had no reason to.

(Y/n) barely felt the cold gel pressing onto her stomach, her eyes simply zoomed in on the monitor and waited for the black and grey picture to become as clear as it would to her untrained eyes. This had to of worked, she didn't want to go back to the hospital to try again, she didn't want to feel the disappointment or grief and she certainly didn't want to see her friends heartbroken at her failure.

"There's your baby."

Ben couldn't feel his chest moving or any breaths leaving his lips when those three little words hit his ears. They felt so odd in his mind because this wasn't his baby, it wasn't even (Y/n)'s baby despite her carrying it. But those words made his heart clench so tightly he thought for a brief moment that he was having some kind of heart attack.

This wasn't their baby... but what if it was?

What if they had been sitting here waiting for their baby to come on the screen, what if they were actually seeing their own baby on that screen?

Ben had never thought about it like this before, he'd always just had a feeling or a knowing sense that he didn't want kids. He loved (Y/n) to the ends of the Earth and he didn't feel a yearning for a baby, he just liked it being the two of them. But there was something about the small little blip on the screen that was tugging at his heartstrings. He couldn't help but wonder what this would all be like if they weren't here solely for Gwilym and Amy.

It never escaped Ben's notice that (Y/n) was in two minds about children. He could always see how on some occasions she looked at kids and it just didn't click in her mind, she didn't feel anything. But then other times, on small occasions, he could see that yearning in her eyes that he'd never felt before... until now.

Why was that one little blip on the screen making Ben question something he thought he knew for certain?

[notthe-latte-hottay]

Sunflower for the ask game

Sunflower: Is there a mystery from your life that you still haven't figured out? Do you have any theories?

Ok, this might not be as strange as I think it is but I couldn't think of anything else.

I'm a product of IVF. To make it sound cooler than it is, I was made in a lab rather than the *cough* usual method. But I don't go round telling people that, it's just not particularly interesting to me.

So in my senior year of high school I'm walking to class when a guy called Josh pushes through the crowd of students to reach me. He stops me and says, "Were you an IVF baby?!" I say I was, and ask him how he knew that. He says, "It doesn't matter. I just know." And he walked away. I asked my friends if they mentioned it to him, but most of them didn't know themselves, and the one that did had never spoken to Josh.

Idk maybe "test tube babies" as my friend puts it, can sense each other except me 😂

[peacenik0]

A Painful Path

Chapter 5

Prompt: You’ve got the most fantastic style. Could you write something where Scully is on her period the first time they have sex? She’s super nervous about it and Mulder’s like: It’s fine. Let’s do it. (prompt courtesy @pearsalot)

Summary: Mulder and Scully struggle to define their relationship as they come to terms with the difficulties of infertility.

Rating: NC-17/ NSFW/ MSR/ Angst and Feels

Tagging @today-in-fic, @improlificinsarcasm, @xfpornbattle

Events happen after Amor Fati and before Rush, circa Summer 1999

---

Last time on “A Painful Path” ( Chapter 4)

“Hey, Scully.”

“Mmmhmm,” she hums sleepily.

“Have you been back to see Dr. Parenti recently?” Scully’s eyes go wide in surprise.

“Oh, um, no, not recently.” Her eyes shift down to where their hands touch. “After everything that’s happened…” she drifts off. “There just hasn’t been time.” Mulder hears the sadness and repressed longing in the space between her words. He thinks of all that they’ve been through together, of all that might lay waiting for them in the future.

“How many tries do you have left?”

“Um, two, I think.”

“Well, don’t you think it’s time to call and make another appointment?” He says softly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyes shine with unshed tears.

“Why’s that?” She asks, her voice on the razor’s edge of hope. Mulder thinks of the boy on the beach, of tiny Scully with a big round belly, of a completely different kind of life.

“Because I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” his voice is tight with emotion. “And I think I’m ready…” he pauses and whispers softly; “I want to try again with you...”

---

June 15th, 1999

Scully’s Apartment

Georgetown

“Oh… “

Once the words leave his mouth, Scully is in shock. She sinks back into the couch and pinches the bridge of her nose, her emotions swirl inside of her leaving her almost unable to speak. Did he just say he wants to move forward with the IVF together?

“This is not the reaction I was anticipating.”

“Mulder, I’m sorry, I’m just in shock right now...” Scully can’t seem to get a handle on her emotions, and that terrifies her. “I don’t know what to think.”

“Maybe I’m getting my signals crossed,” Mulder pauses, a note of disappointment in his voice.  “But I thought you’d be a little happier about it.”

“No, no, I am happy about it…” Scully pauses and wipes a tear away from her eye. “This is just a lot to process, I wasn’t expecting this.”

“I suppose it was a little out of the blue, but seeing that father in the hospital kinda got me thinking. I never thought that being a parent was in the cards for me. But now… I don’t know, maybe it is.”

“Mulder, I appreciate this, I really do. Hearing you say that means a lot to me…  However, there are some other considerations that may prevent us from going forward with the process.”

“Such as?”

“Well, for one, the cost of the treatment.” Mulder is an impulsive person, he often makes decisions based on whatever he is feeling in that particular moment. Scully is usually the one to bring him back to earth, and help him to see the reality of the situation. “The last implantation was quite costly,” Scully pauses. Discussing her personal finances makes her feel extremely uncomfortable. “I nearly wiped out my savings account to pay for the first round.”

“Oh…” Mulder looks down thoughtfully and places his hands in prayer position at his lips. Scully knows that Mulder probably didn’t even consider the financial strain a process like this could put on someone. “I knew it was expensive, but I figured that our insurance would at least cover some of it.”

“Our insurance only covers the infertility drugs themselves, it’s a series of self-administered hormone injections. The rest of the treatment is out of pocket, I’m afraid.”

“How much?”

“Eight thousand dollars.” Her shoulders seem to slump further with each word.

“Oooof that’s a lot of cash to pony up,” Mulder runs his hands through his hair.

“It is... I’ve been slowly putting some more money away, but at this point, I barely have enough to cover one more round.”

“Well…” Mulder pauses in thought for a moment, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Scully is on the edge of her seat, wondering what he will say next. “Then I will pay for one of the rounds.” Now it’s Scully’s turn to be in shock.

“What?” The very thought of Mulder paying for the IVF makes her stomach tie up in knots. He is notoriously cheap, choosing to live on sunflower seeds and hungry man dinners in his tiny crappy apartment. Plus if he pays, this opens up a whole set of other issues that she is not sure she is ready to deal with. “Mulder...no I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking me, I offered…” He begins, but Scully cuts him off.

“But, Mulder, it’s a lot of money to spend on something that may not even work.”

“Scully, I want to do this.” He sits next to her and takes her hands in his. “Listen, I have the money. My dad left me a fairly sizable inheritance when he died, and right now it’s just sitting in my savings account, essentially collecting dust.”

“I would feel like I was taking advantage of…” Scully pauses searching for a word. As usual she remains unsure of exactly where they stand, and it feels too awkward to discuss the status of their relationship right now. “What we are to each other,” Scully finishes weakly.

“But you’re not, not at all. Look, Scully, so much has been taken away from you, and I can’t help but feel my part in that. But that’s not why I want to do this, I want to do this because if anyone deserves a chance at motherhood, it’s you,” he says earnestly. “Besides, what am I going to spend it on, more porn?” Scully can’t help but chuckle. “At least this way I’ll know it’s going to a good cause.” Mulder is offering to help her achieve her dream of becoming a Mother, yet she still feels a tinge of guilt for wanting to accept his charity.

“Okay,” she says looking into his eyes. “But I’m going to pay you back though.”

“Nah,” he waves his hand in the air. “You’ve had to put up with me for the last seven years, so I say we call it even.”

“If you insist,” she says, a grin teasing the corner of her mouth.

“It’s too bad we can’t just try our luck the old fashioned way, it’s free... and a lot more fun.” He says with a wry grin, she tsks and pinches him lightly.

“Believe me, if there were a chance in hell that it could work… I would have tried it ages ago,” she says with an eyebrow raised towards him. Mulder’s mouth falls open.

His eyes stay on hers, the intensity could warm up her hands on a cold day. Warm up her heart. Her hand finds his cheek, and slides up to his temple, then presses her forehead to his. A physical manifestation of how their minds meet, how they meld together.

“Never say never.”

For a moment, his recent most recent brush with death springs to her mind. Pulling back to look upon his face, she touches the space between his eyes with her fingertip. This is what Mulder would call the third eye, the center of wisdom. To know that his mind is whole, that his body is once again safe in her hands...

“I don’t when it comes to you.”

There are little niggling concerns, tickling the back of her heart. What if it doesn’t work? What if we don’t work? But then Mulder kisses her, and she forgets everything except for the feel of his lips against hers. His heart beats under his palm. Scully worries about many things, but wishes for many more. Maybe… maybe...

For the first time in months she feels a sense of hope for the future.

---

Later that evening, Mulder has decided that a movie night is in order. Scully wouldn’t like going out to some fancy restaurant, so instead Mulder brings her a beer and some salt-free pretzels from the kitchen. It’s not much to celebrate with, but Mulder figures they need something to mark the occasion. He hands Scully a beer, and she twists off the cap.

“What should we drink to?” she asks, tipping her bottle towards him.

“Oh, I don’t know. I just feel lucky to be sitting here next to you.”

“But I don’t believe in luck.”

“Well, maybe you should start.”

“Hey, I saw an ad in the paper this morning, it looks like Chippendale's needs some new dancers, maybe I could moonlight there on the weekends?” Scully huffs and rolls her eyes at him. “Come on, Scully, you’d throw down some cash to see these assets, wouldn’t ya?” Mulder shimmies his shoulders at her teasingly. Scully blushes, but recovers quickly. Mulder notices.

“Pennies, maybe,” she says dryly, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Ah, you wouldn’t throw few dollars my way, even out of pity?”

“Certainly not out of pity.” All the sudden her voice is sounding a bit coy. Mulder decides to see where this might lead him.

“Actually, I don’t think you could stand it.” Mulder begins, baiting her.

“Stand what?” Scully tilts her head towards him. If she isn’t intrigued already, then she’s doing a great job at faking it.

“Me… showing off my body to a room full of women who are already drunk… and horny, I might add.” Scully now blushes a deep red, he’s got her hooked. So he gets a little closer to her. “You’d be so jealous.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she shrugs her shoulders. “I have never been jealous over you.”

“Oh really?” Mulder raises his eyebrows, and strokes his chin.

“Not in the slightest.” Her tone is on the edge of teasing and flirty. She shyly draws a circle on his thigh with her index finger.

“Maybe I should get myself one of those speedo-like things… something that will really accentuate my package.” He gestures towards his crotch. “Come on, Scully, I know you’d love to see me in a banana hammock.” Mulder teases wiggling his eyebrows at her. This time she giggles, her body is close to his.

“You already have one of those,” she breathes out, her fingers have moved further up his leg, it sends a charge over his skin. Mulder feels a stirring in his jeans… it’s been too long. The spark between them is ignited, and Mulder knows by now, that it will never go out.

“Ah, so you have been paying attention,” he pauses to kiss her cheek, then her hairline. She shivers, it spurs him on to kiss the spot behind her ear. “Admit it, you have been checking me out all these years. Just dying to get your hands on me.” Her face is bright red now, she looks down in embarrassment. “It’s okay, Scully,” He tips her chin up to look into her eyes. His nose is almost touching hers, her cheek is warm under his hand, his mouth is a scant inch from hers. “I have to say, the feeling is mutual.”

Mulder finally brushes his lips against hers, and she responds immediately, searching for his bottom lip with her tongue. Scully must have been feeling the strain of their nine month self imposed sex drought, because before long she is catapulting herself into his lap, and thrusting her tongue against his.

Mulder is hard already, so ripe, he’s rotten.

Pulling her flush against his body, his greedy hands quickly unhook her bra under her shirt. He loves the feel of her breast, soft and perfect against his palm. When his fingers find her nipple he pinches it, then sucks it between his lips, leaving a wet spot on her shirt.

“Mmmm, I like that,” she moans. Her hands are everywhere, under his shirt, tracing his pecs and stomach. To see her this aroused, only feeds his own desire. She is already thrusting against his erection, and he is moaning incessantly into her mouth. There is a distinct possibility that he might lose it right then and there, and he needs to warn her.

“Uh, Scully,” he gasps against her lips. Her desperate kisses take his breath away. “I just um...” Kiss. “Might not..” Kiss. Mulder is barely able to talk because, she won’t stop kissing him. He loves it. “Scully, Scully, wait a minute…”

“I don’t want to wait...” she pouts, breaking away from him to nibble at his jaw. She’s so damn sexy, he he can hardly resist her.

“I know, me too…” His voice rasps, as he takes her face in his hands. \ “But that’s part of the problem. I just want you so much and it’s been a while…” Mulder drifts off, and presses his forehead to hers. “I just don’t think I’m going to be able to control myself for very long.” Mulder says earnestly, a little embarrassed. Scully nods in understanding, then nuzzles his nose with hers.

“It’s okay, me either,” she tells him, this time kissing his lips tenderly. Mulder feels relieved. They don’t always communicate well, but sex has opened up a whole new way to express themselves.

“I just… I just want to make sure this is good for you.” He palms her heated cunt through her jeans, eliciting an audible gasp. There is an aching desire within him to please her, to hear her make that sound again and again. Though they have only made love a handful of times, he has been able to experience the joy of making her come. It is a sight to behold. When they achieve climax together, the feeling is beyond comprehension. Otherworldly. Extraterrestrial. Cosmic.

“You will,” she says earnestly, grinding her heated cunt against him. They are desperate for each other that he paws her trousers inelegantly, searching for a button he cannot find.

“Here let me,” she bats his hand away, and quickly jumps off the couch to stand in front of him--giving him her own kind of lighting speed strip tease. His shirt is off, his pants, his boxers, all he wears is a smile now.

“God, you’re so hot,” he looks at her, mouth slack, chest heaving, hair wild and untamed.

He reaches a finger into the elastic of her panties, pulling her towards him. His nose finds her sex, and he inhales her arousal, it triggers something neanderthal in his brain. Scully’s fingers grasp and pull at his hair. He sucks her slit through her panties, savoring her flavor, longing for more.

“I want you inside of me now,” she croons into his ear. Her breath tickles the fine hairs in his ear canal, making him even more aroused.

“Well… you don’t have to tell me twice,” he says hoarsely.

“Is this okay?” Scully reaches towards his erection, but stops before her fingers come in contact with his body. He shudders. For a moment Mulder remembers the incident with Diana, the way she touched him when he was barely conscious. It left a bad taste in the back of his throat.

“Just let me touch myself,” Mulder chokes out. Grasping the base of his length he strokes himself upwards. As he looks into Scully’s luminous eyes, all thoughts of Diana are pushed away. There is only Scully. He aches for her. “Get over here,” he husks and pulls her to him roughly. Once their naked bodies meet they both feel the electricity.

Their kiss is sex.

Mulder feels his own sense of masculine pride when he touches her and finds his fingers wet and hot. She teasingly slicks her folds up and down his cock, mingling his pre-cum with her arousal.

All the sudden she is sliding down his shaft, and he feels her tight heat squeezing around him. It takes him by surprise.

“Oh, oh.” Scully breathes out as her eyes slide closed in pleasure.

Mulder wants to go slow, but he can’t, his cock surges forward like a heat seeking missile. He feels his shaft spreading her open, making room for them to fit together. Every nerve ending in his body sings. They both moan in unison as he is finally fully sheathed inside of her. His eyes roll back into his head in ecstasy. There is the feeling of home being with her like this, but his home never made him feel like Scully does.

“You feel so good.”

“Yeah?” She starts to move, riding his shaft up and down, her breasts bounce in his face. The pleasure is overwhelming.

“Fuck,” his glottis clicks. God, he should have insisted on going down on her, it would have at least bided him some time. He won’t last long, he needs to make her come.

Mulder feels her clit under his thumb, slick and swollen. He rubs back and forth, up and down. Her inner muscles clench around his cock, as she still continues to ride him.

“Tell me you belong to me,” Scully pulls his hair back and sucks on his Adam’s apple. His fingers still on her clit for a moment, and she bucks against his hand, attempting to increase the friction.

“I belong to you,” he rasps, grasping her wrists in his hands, forcing her to look at him. “And you’re mine.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement.

“I’m yours,” she whispers sucking his bottom lip. Scully yells out as he pinches her clit between his fingers, hard, finally he giving her relief. As soon as Mulder feels her inner muscles begin to spasm around him, he allows himself to let go. Wildly he grunts and buries his seed deep inside of her. Scully moans loudly as her cunt squeezes every last drop of come out of him. It’s euphoria beyond anything he’s ever experienced.

She falls forward and her hardened nipples press into his chest, his arms go around her. They kiss languidly, his softening cock still inside of her.

“Oh, I needed that,” Scully breathes out, sated and happy.

“Me too,” he chuckles, and kisses her again.

“Just let me know when you’ll be ready for round two,” she winks.

“Ha!” he chuckles, his hands go to her face. “You are going to be the death of me woman.”

  ---

June 28, 1999

Mulder’s Apartment

Hegel Place, Alexandria

It’s the night before the implantation, Mulder sits at his desk in the dark, there is only one lamp lighting the room. Scully told him that she needed time to prepare for their visit to the fertility clinic the next day. Mulder feels a nervous sense of anticipation, what if the treatment doesn’t work? What if it does? He and Scully have not taken any time to discuss the possibility, leaving him in the dark about what his role to any future child might be.

The phone rings, jolting him out of his thoughts.

“Hello, Fox, it’s your mother,” the voice of Teena Mulder comes softly over the phone line.

“Oh, hey Mom.” Mulder’s tone is polite, but not affectionate. His relationship with his mother has been strained for a long time.

“I’m just calling to see how you are doing after your... ordeal.”

“I’m fine, thank you. The doctor gave me a clean bill of health.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I was quite… worried about you.” Teena Mulder’s voice is soft, but her statement triggers something in him.

“You were?” Mulder huffs and shakes his head. “Well that’s news to me Mom.”

“Fox, don’t be disrespectful.” His Mother says in a clipped tone.

“Well, how am I to think any differently when you were the one who checked me out of the hospital against medical advice.” Mulder hears himself getting louder. His Mother’s constant elusiveness, and the way she dodges answering his questions is beyond frustrating. Can’t she just give him a straight answer?

“Fox, I…” there is a pregnant pause, Mulder can hear the guilt close around her voice. “I did what I thought was best.”

“Oh, really? You thought it was best?” His temper is escalating, he needs answers, real ones. “The security footage showed you talking to him!” Mulder recalls Scully telling him about the his Mother’s meeting with the smoking man. He feels a surge or anger rise in his chest propelling him to stand up and start pacing. “What did he say to you, Mom?”

“He told me you would die if I didn’t get the hospital staff to release you into his care.” Her voice is desperate, yet still defensive. ���He said he had the cure…” Mulder doesn’t wait for her to finish before he cuts her off.

“So you just handed me over, like you just handed over Samantha!?” His mother gasps at his words. “How could you do that, Mom? How could you trust him after all that he’s done?”

“I felt I didn’t have a choice...there is so much that you don’t know…”

Years of secrets and lies held tight within him boil over.

“Yeah like the fact that you had an affair with him, and I am a product of that.” The veins are popping out of his neck, his mother’s breathing sounds distressed over the line. Yet still she doesn’t answer his question. “Aren’t I Mom? Aren’t I?” He pauses to wait for a response, when she doesn’t say anything he kicks his trash can. “Your silence tells me everything I need to know.” Mulder hangs up and rips the telephone jack out of the wall.

He slumps down against his couch and puts his head in his hands. Sobs wrack his body as the floodgates within him open up. Mulder cries for a lifetime of unanswered questions,  a lifetime of decisions made for him, a lifetime of secrets kept in his best interest.

All he ever wanted was the truth, and all he ever got were lies.

---

July 30th,1999

CVS parking lot

Georgetown

It’s been thirty-two days since the implantation. Thirty-two days and five hours to be exact, and Scully still hasn’t started her period. For the entire day she has been on the edge of catastrophe and joy, a strange kind of nervous excitement. She can hardly think of anything else. Now, right now, she could be pregnant. She can hardly stand not knowing, it’s maddening for her. Dana Scully doesn’t like surprises.

Scully and Mulder sit in her car in front of the pharmacy, she is debating whether or not to go in and pick up a pregnancy test. The phrase being on pins and needles is an understatement.

“Do you want me to go in?” Mulder asks from the passenger’s seat.

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Well, why not?”

“Because... I wouldn’t feel right sending you in there.”

“Scully… this isn’t the same as picking you up a box of tampons.”

“Yes, I suppose you are right. I just can’t stand this uncertainty. Besides these home pregnancy tests are notoriously inaccurate, I don’t want to get my hopes up over what may end up being a false positive.” Scully looks down at her lap, and sighs. “Uh, maybe I should just wait until Monday when I have my appointment.”

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to come to the appointment with you?”

”I’m sure. It was my idea to try this route in the first place,” Scully says. Something in her wants to give him an out, wants to relieve him of any responsibility in her quest to get pregnant. “I don’t want you to feel obligated.” Her tone is soft, and she can’t bring herself to look at him. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Mulder shake his head in disbelief.

“You think I’m doing this out of some perfunctory sense of obligation?”

“I uh, I don’t know…” she pauses and shifts in her seat. Scully has never been comfortable discussing these sorts of things, she wants to jump out of the car right now, just so she can get out of this conversation. “Everything is just so complicated…” she drifts off, looking out the window.

“So it was easier for you when I was just a sperm donor? That’s just like you, Scully, everything’s got to be clinical and sterile. It was okay when I was just shooting my load into a cup, but now that I want to be involved all the sudden it’s too complicated.” His words sting her, and sees the passion flash behind his eyes. “I was under the impression that we are in this thing together.”

Scully feels tears prick at the corners of her eyes. A flash of Mulder holding a baby with his eyes and her nose flashes unbidden into her mind.

“I’m sorry...I didn’t realize…” Scully pauses in an effort to control her emotions. “My chances of getting pregnant are very low, and I just figured it were better for me to face this alone. There could be a lot of difficulty and disappointment ahead, I didn’t want to put you through that.”

“Haven’t we been through worse?” In some ways he’s right, but this is a new kind of challenge that they have never had to face. What if this is their undoing? Most couples don’t start out their relationship with a series of infertility treatments, but they aren’t most couples. In fact, Scully isn’t even sure what they are. “And haven’t we always made it through together?” He looks at her intently now, and she nods.

Questions swirl above her head, but she can’t seem to grab them from thin air. She longs to find the concrete answers to her questions through science, but being with Mulder has always turned her carefully crafted world view on it’s head. There is nothing she has ever read or ever studied that could prepare her for this. Nothing that can explain away the intricacies of the human heart. This scares her.

“I just don’t know where we go from here. I’m frustrated because I don’t have any answers for you or for myself.”

“We don’t need all the answers right now.” Mulder’s voice is soft, reassuring. “I will be here in whatever capacity you need me to be. But I am in this with you, don’t forget that, okay?”

“Okay.” Her voice is a note above a whisper, she is overwhelmed with emotions. She leans her body against his, like she can take some of his strength. Scully decides that it's worth to wait for certainty, she’ll get her answers from a blood test.

“Well I need to go in there anyway and pick up some sunflowers seeds so… you want some ginger ale, Twizzlers, adult diapers?” He smirks at her, effectively breaking the tension. Scully marvels at the way he knows her, the corner of her mouth turns up just slightly.

“Just some Twizzlers thank you.”

“Okay, just Twizzlers, got it.” With a wink he bounds out of the car, Scully exhales and cracks her neck. She thinks of his words to her; haven’t we always made it through together.

Rolling down her window, Scully calls to him.

“Oh and Mulder…” He turns back towards her, the evening sun lights up his face.

“Yeah?”

“The appointment is at noon on Monday.” Scully looks at him expectantly. “So I figured that we could take an early lunch.” He grins and points towards her.

“It’s a date.”

---

When they get back to her apartment, Scully busies herself in the kitchen, Mulder can see her shoulders tense as she scrubs an already fastidiously clean counter-top. He comes up behind her in the kitchen, his arms circle her waist, and she leans back into him.  

“I think I know something that could relax you.” Mulder says, brushing the hair away from her neck and placing a kiss there. Scully sighs as the sponge and and spray bottle drop out of her hands.  

“What’s that?” she asks incredulously.

“A massage.”  His fingers go to her shoulders, and he begins to knead the tight muscles there. Scully sighs and leans back into his touch.

“By whom? You?” She turns in his arms and raises an eyebrow. Scully looks like she needs a little more convincing, but just a little more.

“By yours truly… didn’t I ever tell you that I have magic fingers?” He smirks waving his fingers back and forth like he is “tickling the ivories.”

“Well you do have a magic something…” she points to the tip of her tongue.

“Well, I could do that too… but I figured that you like it better when I work up to it.” Mulder leans down to kiss her, and his hand goes to the base of her neck to rub the knots away.

“Sounds good to me.” Scully says, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. “There is some lotion on the sink in the bathroom.”

“Okay great, just get naked and I’ll be right back.” Scully tsks at him, but begins removing her clothes anyway. When he returns, she is in her underwear laying face down on the bed. Her skin glows in the soft light of her bedside lamp. Mulder certainly hopes that this massage will lead to other things, but he will be content if it only leads to more massage, and a relaxed Scully.

He squirts some lotion out, and rubs both hands together to warm it up. Starting with light circles, he works her neck and shoulders, as usual he is eager to please. It is easy to see from her posture that this is where she carries a great deal of her stress.

“Just relax,” he says in a soothing tone. Mulder presses deeper into her flesh, attempting to relieve some of her worries.“Maybe I should’ve put that Enya CD in the CD player.”

“You mean the Enya CD that I don’t have?” Scully snarks. His palms press into her her shoulder blades lightly, then slightly deeper.

“Yeah, you know, the one that I didn’t see in your bathroom drawer.”  A knuckle work works out a knot in her neck. “Sail away, sail away, sail away,” he sings in a ridiculous off key falsetto. Mulder can feel the vibrations of a stifled giggle rumble under her ribs.

“I thought this was supposed to be relaxing,” she says dryly.

“Okay, okay, no singing, I don’t want to upset my one and only client.” His voice is tickles her ear, his fingers trail like feathers over her spine, eliciting a shiver and a rash of gooseflesh.

“Now that’s what I like to hear.” Scully sighs, finally melting into the bed. Mulder feels a swell of pride, that she is finally relaxing under his touch. Once he reaches the small of her back, Scully whimpers, so he caresses her in light strokes. Something tells him that Scully enjoys him touching her there as much as he does. Now his fingers slide down further, finally landing at the top of her panties.

“Can I take these off?” Mulder asks, hooking his index finger under the elastic of her silky beige panties. “I need to get at these tight glutes.”

“I suppose so,” she says coyly. Trying to keep his excitement in check, Mulder shimmies her underwear over her hips and down her legs. Scully shuffles on the bed, and opens her legs a little wider, allowing him the barest glimpse of her pink pussy. Mulder gulps.

“Okay,” he clears his throat. “Back to work.” Focus, focus, he tells himself. Scully sighs again, as his fingers knead the tight muscles of her ass.

“Mmm, that feels so good,” she moans. His cock hardens instantly. With his dick leading the way, Mulder spreads open her ass cheeks, and he groans. He places a kiss on the dimple just above her tailbone, then another slightly lower. He feels Scully stiffen a bit underneath him.

“Is this okay?” He asks tentatively.

“Uhh, well to be honest, I’ve never done it...” Scully drifts off.

“Hmm, me either, but I’ve seen it done quite few times.” Mulder says teasingly, kissing right next to her ass crack.

“I’m sure you have,” she says dryly. “In any case, I suppose we could try it.”

“I’m sure you’ll let me know if this kind of thing is not your bag… baby” Mulder intones, imitating Austin Powers.

“Call me baby again, and just see what happens…” she says sternly. Certainly, Scully would not let him live long enough to see the sequel.

“Okay, okay,” he mumbles, spreading her open again, he feels a bit nervous, but he figures he’ll just start slow and see where it leads him. He kisses the tight circle of muscle, then darts out his tongue slightly. Scully jumps. “Everything alright?”

“Yes, I just wasn’t expecting it… it feels nice.” His tongue traces around the puckered hole tentatively, and Scully sighs. So he does it again, and again. She begins to moan now, and Mulder is encouraged by this, so he hums against her. Scully yelps. “Oh, oh, oh, “ she whimpers. Now he draws a line down over her taint and back up again, he tastes the arousal dripping out of her. Scully is like melted butter on warm toast. Mulder is so turned on right now, that his erection is pulsing in his pants. They are feeling too tight, so he backs away to remove them and his shirt. Scully looks back to see where he has gone.

“Uh, sorry I was just getting a little uncomfortable.” Mulder says gesturing to his hard-on tenting in his boxers.

“Oh, well..” Scully gets on her hands and knees, opening her thighs to make room for him. “Let’s see if I can help you out with that.” It’s clearly and invitation he cannot refuse.

“Well, if you insist.” Mulder drops his boxers quickly, and moves to take her from behind. She reaches back to rub the head of his cock against her slit, and he gasps at the sensation. Finally, she positions him at her entrance, and rocks her hips back to push the tip just inside. Mulder pulls out, then plunges back in moving in a little further. Scully gasps, so he does it again, this time he looks down to see where they are joined. They have not tried this position very many times, but he loves to watch his cock pistoning in and out of her. It’s incredible. He withdraws again, but this time he gasps, but for a different reason.

Blood.

Looking down he sees his cock coated in dark red. Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue for him, he has never been bothered by period sex. After all, he’s seen all manner of bodily fluids and other liquids. Plus, it’s just a natural part of the human experience for women.

“Ugh, Scully…” He tries not to alarm her, but she needs to know, he wouldn’t feel right not telling her. “You...um…”

“What, Mulder?” she asks, looking back, clearly concerned. “Just tell me.”

“Uh… I think you started your period.” He says softly, trying to ease the blow.

“Oh…” Mulder can tell she is in shock now, his erection withers at the heaviness of the moment. “So I guess I wasn’t…” Scully stops the realization dawning on her. Mulder reaches for her, attempting to pull her into his comforting embrace, but his arms clutch at the empty air. He watches as Scully gingerly rolls off of the bed, and heads towards the bathroom.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”

“It’s okay, I just um… I think maybe I need to take a shower.”

“Do you want me to come in with you?” he asks, but she just shakes her head and closes the door softly behind her. Mulder doesn’t know whether or not he should follow her, or let her be. Walking slowly, he softly knocks on the door, and waits for her to invite him in.

“You can come in.” Mulder hears a catch of tears in her voice. Scully is sitting hunched over on the toilet, her robe is askew and falling off her shoulder. Her body curls in on itself, as if she could somehow protect her own heart.  

“Are you okay?” Softly, he strokes her hair away from her face.

“I.. uh… I don’t know,” Scully wipes her noses with the back of her hand, a tear leaks out of the corner of her eye. “I did everything I could to prepare myself for this eventuality. But when my cycle was late… it gave me some hope that maybe… maybe it would work out this time. But now I can see that I was being foolish.” Her voice is soft and sad, her eyes cast downward.  Mulder crosses over, and sits on the tub to face her.

“Dana,” he says softly, tilting her chin up to look at him. The use of her first name sounds strange on his tongue, but the intimacy of it seems appropriate right now. They are trying to have a baby after all. “Just because you knew this might happen, doesn’t mean that you can’t be sad when it does. Hope isn’t foolish, Scully.”

“But what if it is? What if all of this is for nothing?” Mulder’s heart breaks as she says this, feeling the guilt at his responsibility for her condition, but his guilt won’t help her now. He wants so desperately to make this possible for her, if he could do anything to change the past, he would.

“It’s not.” Mulder places a hand on her shoulder. “Because we still have one more chance, right?”

“Yes, but it’s a long shot.” Her voice is still tearful. Mulder remembers at the end of his dream, how Scully told him the truth, how she gave him the strength to keep fighting. Maybe he can give her some of that strength now.

“Look, I may not be able to understand exactly what you are going through right now, but if there is one thing I know about you, it’s that you don’t give up.” His hand goes to cup her jaw, and he strokes her cheek with his thumb. “It’s one of the things I love most about you.“ He finishes softly, unable to keep the sheer emotion out of his voice. Mulder almost covers his mouth because every time he’s ever said the word love to Scully, it has backfired in some way. She looks up at him now, and he sees the surprise and adoration behind her eyes. “If you need to lean on me now, then lean on me.” Scully falls forward into his open arms, he cradles her against the cold hard ceramic tub.

The world seems dark and brutal, visiting a myriad of misfortunes upon them. If god exists, isn’t he supposed to be kind and benevolent? Surely he could look at Scully and see that her heart is good, her motivations pure. Surely he could see that she deserves this one small bit of happiness.

God, he thinks bitterly. If you’re out there, maybe you could cut us a break just this once? Don’t do it for me, do it for Scully, she’s the one who needs it right now. She’s the one, god, she’s the one.

---

That night Mulder has a dream.

He’s on the beach again, but this time Scully lays next to him on a blue towel. When Mulder looks down he sees a baby napping contently between them. Scully seems lighter, unburdened by the weight of all that has come before. She smiles at him, a dusting of freckles across her nose, she’s a sight to behold.

“It was a lot work to get here, but don’t you think it’s worth it?” she asks, gently stroking the baby’s face. There is a sense of joy and accomplishment, of love and contentment that he’s never felt before.

“Definitely.” Mulder smiles and looks at the child, a swell of love fills him up. He looks out at the ocean, a seagull cries in the air as the salty wind hits his face. Scully’s hand goes to his and for a moment all is peaceful, all seems right with the world.

Suddenly, the light around him changes. The sky goes dark, the wind goes dead, the seagulls stop crying. Scully and the child disappear into thin air.

“Scully!” When he looks up, the Smoking Man stands before him, lighting a cigarette.

“I thought you gave up on this kind of life? Perhaps the one I gave you proved to be unsatisfactory.”

“It wasn’t the right life for me.”

“But one with Agent Scully is? You know you can’t give her those things. You’d never make a good Father. You’re too selfish.”

“You’re one to talk. What kind of Father are you?”

“Admittedly I haven’t always been around. Perhaps I haven’t always shown you what you needed to see.” The Smoking Man takes a drag of his cigarette, and exhales slowly. “But despite all that, you’re my son, and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, as they say.” Mulder feels a surge hatred at his words. “Someday you’ll see the bigger picture.”

“What’s the bigger picture?”

“That you and are I the same, whether you like it or not. We share the same blood, the same DNA. We both sacrifice to our quest, we both want to save the world.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“That any child of yours will be mine.”

---

“NOOOOO!!!” Scully hears Mulder’s voice, and it wakes her instantly. She feels him thrashing and kicking next to her on the bed. Her heart jumps into her throat. Disoriented she reaches for her gun, but quickly realizes that Mulder is having a nightmare. “Scully...Scu-lly!” he shouts in desperation.

“Mulder, Mulder!” Her hands are gentle on his face. His legs twist further in the sea of blankets surrounding him, cold sweat forms on his brow. “You’ve got to wake up!” Now she shakes him gently, attempting to rouse him from whatever evils thwart his dreams. He sucks in a loud desperate breath as his eyes finally pop open.

“Scully?” His eyes look around wildly.

“Yes, it’s me. You were having a nightmare.”

“You were gone, the baby was gone…”

“The baby?” Scully can’t help the shock and sadness the edge into her voice.

“He took you… just like he takes everything from me.”

“Who?”

“The Smoking Man. I’ll never have anything good, not while he’s around. Anyone I care about just gets hurt… or worse.” His face falls into his hands, his body defeated. “And that’s why we can never have a baby.”

To be continued in chapter 6.

---

Many thanks to @illnevermeettheground, for her continued support and amazing insights. She has been a huge asset over the last few chapters, and I am super grateful for her. 

Also, I am so lucky to have had @monikafilefan to have helped me with not only grammar beta, but also with the IVF stuff ( which is a bit mind-boggling, and those of you who have written IVF timeline know what I am talking about). I am really lucky to have her knowledge and expertise in these areas.

Tagging internet wife @i-gaze-at-scully ( because even though smut is not her thing, she is definitely my emotional support <3)

Also, tagging friends who have been following this. @defnotmeyo, @scully-eats-sushi, @storybycorey, @msraddicted, @country3living, @lifeisshortdrinkthewine, @danaedaniels, @gaycrouton, @vespagirl04, @xfilesgayepisode, @xfilesobsession @baronessblixen, @skullsmuldon@spiritedballroomdancer