#summertime saddness

[eerievoid]

The thunder rumbles in the distance. The rain has slowed to a soft drizzle. The lightning is sporadic but the lightning bugs are constant, flirting about under the cover of thick bushes and trees.

I always wanted to sit under a covered porch, my covered porch, in the rain, and enjoy the ambiance. Ambiance. What a ridiculously big word I learned from a ridiculously simple woman. I miss what our relationship once was. I miss it a lot. Like the death of a mother, one who actually gave a shit about her kid and who the kid actually gave a shit about. I found that so late in life, and lost it too soon.

My actual mother apologized recently. She said all the right words, had the right tone, meant the right things. It was, at its core, exactly what I wanted. But now that I got it, I hate that she did. Things are messy now. The guilt and shame I managed to shake off is back, even if it’s not valid. I think I never wanted to forgive her. I think I just wanted the past to never have happened. Those thoughts bring a whole different kind of guilt and shame to the party.

It’s been nearly 11 years since I tried to check out and really meant it. Although I’m not looking to turn in my room key anymore, I had hoped that I would have forgotten what it’s like to want to by now. I haven’t. I think that’s why it’s been 2 1/2 years since I got this covered porch and just now got around to experiencing the chaos of the summer under it’s protection. I still don’t feel like I deserve it’s protection. I still feel like I deserve the heart of the chaos.

Things are different but they’re not. The porch was my favorite part of the house when we viewed it. I dreamed of this moment before we even had the keys. I never thought we would have this. Could have earned this. Would had survived to get this. I cannot explain how thankful I am that we have this, together, we have this life. My greatest fear was always that I’d turn out like my mother. Now that I realize I became her anyway, my greatest fear is that I’ll ruin what we have together. These beautiful things that I’ve got. Please, I want you, I need you, oh god.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop being 16. I don’t think I’ll ever shake those feelings. I don’t think those wants will ever fade. I think I will always, at my center, be scared, angry, cruel, lost. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being 16. But I’m hopeful there’s room for me to be someone else too. Someone who doesn’t say shitty things to bring others down just to gain 5 whole seconds of satisfaction. Someone who doesn’t refuse to communicate and plays mind games. I’m trying, so fucking hard, to be someone worth coming home to. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being 16, but I want to bury her under someone who’s 30. 40. 50 still sounds like I’m asking too much, but if we get there, I hope she is strong enough to forget where 16 was buried. And more than anything, I hope she still has Magpie.

Things are different but they’re not. It feels like reality is a ball hanging from a string. The wind flings it around, but in the calm, it always comes back to the middle. Reset to default. The rain has stopped. The birds are back out and singing. And I want to ask the front desk where I place my room key at checkout.

I never liked talking to people though, anxiety and all that. So I guess I’ll blow on the ball that is reality, set it adrift, and enjoy the sunset on my covered porch.

[marlasingeruniverse]

[energon-with-a-curly-straw]

Not dead just returned to a dormant depression-cocoon state

[isaut]

feeling exceptionally like a failure today!

[headgehug]

listening to lana del rey born to die the paradise edition in a far gayer way than you could ever imagine.

[uravitsy]

☆ 01 MASTERLIST ☆

ONESHOTS

“SUMMERTIME SADDNESS” w/ kyojuro rengoku

HEADCANNONS (coming soon!)

SHORT STORIES

“NEIGHBORS” w/ miguel o’hara

“YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL” w/ satoru gojo

“LOVE FOR SALE” w/ satoru gojo and kento nanami (coming soon!)

“THREE HOLES” w/ satoru gojo, kento nanami, sugary geto

“BLESSED BE THE FRUIT” w/ ryomen sukuna

BYF + RULES

SOCIALS

[asserine]

kiss me hard before you go summertime saddness

[kiefbowl]

do you have a favorite lana del rey song

summertime saddness I guess cause that's the only one I know off the top of my head

[asublimehimbo]

experincing in vivid detail everything described in summertime saddness by lana del rey. thank you for your patience in this trying time

[thespiritoflife]

hii! how are you?! im here for the exchange game!!

so, for you: i got more of the vibe and how they would be like in the relationship

i feel like they would be someone protective, who would put you first and take care of you, always thinking of you. like if you scraped your knee they would bandage it up and treat you like you were a kid who got hurt while running. even though he is protective, he would also have his side of jokes with you that would stay in your head all day.for them you are someone worth caring for and prioritizing! they remind me of simon of bridgerton and logan of gilmore girls!! (i put the pictures here in case you don't know what they look like)

my initials are CBO and im bissexual! but with male preference!

have a great day/night <3

Oooh my, thank you so much for exchange! I love that part where you're describing how my FS will treat me🥹 it's so cute, it makes me want to cry and it warmed my heart so much!! 🤎🤎❤️

Thank you once again! And how did you know my crushes?? I love Simon from Bidgerton and Logan!!! They're so different and so handsome, oh my good!❤️

Thank you so so much!! 🌟🌟

For you I got Simu Liu and Benjamin Bratt.

Like I feel like this person will maybe be foreigner for you? They will seem maybe exotic to you? I don't know but I seem here some unknown? Maybe it will be someone who would you least expect to be your FS. Like troph strangers to lovers, nothing in between. And you don't know them yet. I sense this person will have dark eyes and dark hair. Maybe darker skin? I think you will meet your FS in summer cause I heard in my head song Summertime saddness by Lana Del Rey. You or them will maybe be in self discovering and not looking for relationship. And that's beatiful, this love will come when you won't look for it. This quote speaks to me: i found you when i wasn't looking for you. I also think this will take time, but it will be big love for you ♡

Have amazing day/night too! <33

[ao3feed-nalu]

Think I'll Miss You Forever || an mha crossover

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/xNDB6qW

by Addilynn

(Title from Lana Del Ray's Summertime Saddness)

Spanning over a time period of 5 years, 22 Pro Hero couples reported their children missing.

Spanning over a course of 8 months, they get their closure.

(It's set in the universe of MHA, but none of the characters will really be mentioned unless it's like a small thing or phrase. The main characters are all going to be a friend and I's OCs.)

Words: 1, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Durarara!!, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 天官赐福 | Heaven Official's Blessing (Cartoon), Tokyo Ghoul, 未来日記 | Mirai Nikki | Future Diary, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Fairy Tail, Shall We Date?: Obey Me!, 約束のネバーランド | Yakusoku no Neverland | The Promised Neverland (Manga), Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, 東京卍リベンジャーズ | Tokyo Revengers (Manga)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: A lot of OCs, look at the relationships - Character

Relationships: Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Cyno/Tighnari (Genshin Impact), Edward Elric/Envy, Hyakuya Mikaela/Hyakuya Yuuichirou, K1-B0/Oma Kokichi, Scaramouche/Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Hè Xuán/Shī Qīngxuán, Huā Chéng/Xiè Lián (Tiān Guān Cì Fú), Luò Bīnghé/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Nagachika Hideyoshi, Amano Yukiteru/Gasai Yuno, Akise Aru/Amano Yukiteru, Canada/Prussia (Hetalia), England/France (Hetalia), Bennett/Fischl/Razor (Genshin Impact), Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia, Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, Emma/Ray (The Promised Neverland)

Additional Tags: Takes place in mha but doesnt really invovle any charaters, Some angst, a lot of innuendos, big crossover, the jizzler is crying in the bathroom, plot heavy, never not traumatized, Kidnapping, mentions of illegal activities, some sexual jokes, lots of lore sorta

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/xNDB6qW

[justagaymoth]

Happy first day of spring one more season till the season of hell

Aka summer man i hate summer

1. Too hot

2. No school :((

3. I dont see my freinds as much

4. Boring

5.more depresion (summertime saddness)

6. More free time:((

[ao3feed-danganronpa]

Think I'll Miss You Forever || an mha crossover

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/1N4Smde

by Addilynn

(Title from Lana Del Ray's Summertime Saddness)

Spanning over a time period of 5 years, 22 Pro Hero couples reported their children missing.

Spanning over a course of 8 months, they get their closure.

(It's set in the universe of MHA, but none of the characters will really be mentioned unless it's like a small thing or phrase. The main characters are all going to be a friend and I's OCs.)

Words: 1, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Durarara!!, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 天官赐福 | Heaven Official's Blessing (Cartoon), Tokyo Ghoul, 未来日記 | Mirai Nikki | Future Diary, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Fairy Tail, Shall We Date?: Obey Me!, 約束のネバーランド | Yakusoku no Neverland | The Promised Neverland (Manga), Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, 東京卍リベンジャーズ | Tokyo Revengers (Manga)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: A lot of OCs, look at the relationships - Character

Relationships: Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Cyno/Tighnari (Genshin Impact), Edward Elric/Envy, Hyakuya Mikaela/Hyakuya Yuuichirou, K1-B0/Oma Kokichi, Scaramouche/Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Hè Xuán/Shī Qīngxuán, Huā Chéng/Xiè Lián (Tiān Guān Cì Fú), Luò Bīnghé/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Nagachika Hideyoshi, Amano Yukiteru/Gasai Yuno, Akise Aru/Amano Yukiteru, Canada/Prussia (Hetalia), England/France (Hetalia), Bennett/Fischl/Razor (Genshin Impact), Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia, Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, Emma/Ray (The Promised Neverland)

Additional Tags: Takes place in mha but doesnt really invovle any charaters, Some angst, a lot of innuendos, big crossover, the jizzler is crying in the bathroom, plot heavy, never not traumatized, Kidnapping, mentions of illegal activities, some sexual jokes, lots of lore sorta

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/1N4Smde

[gumballrightfoots]

SUMMERTIME SADDNESS GOT THAT SUMMERTIME SADDNESSS

oh… ohhho

[utterly-disappointed]

ty for the tag❤️

u- Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey

t- This Is What Makes Us Girls by Lana Del Rey

t- Trash Magic by Lana Del Rey

e- Enchanted by Taylor Swift

r- Radio by Lana Del Rey

l- Lolita by Lana Del Rey

y- Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey

d- Dying Star by Ashnikko, Ethel Cain

i- It Almost Worked by TV Girl

s- Summertime Saddness by Lana Del Rey

a- Art Deco by Lana Del Rey

p- Pretty When You Cry by Lana Del Rey

p- Peppers by Lana Del Rey

o- Off To The Races by Lana Del Rey

i- In My Feelings by Lana Del Rey

n- Not Allowed by TV Girl

t- The Other Woman by Lana Del Rey

e- Easier To Cry by TV Girl

d- Doin' Time by Lana Del Rey

i am not tagging that many people, sorry

tags: @mlpvsbojackhorseman @kimanukii @shadowismybias @literatureisdying @ohlookparker

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your URL and tag that many people.

Tagged by @sailforvalinor, and thank you this looks like fun!

Remember and Proclaim (Andrew Peterson)

All I Ask of You (Jackie Evancho)

Innocence (Nathan Wagner)

Níl Sé'n Lá (Celtic Woman)

I Still Need a Savior (Billy Sprague)

No Strings (Ed Sheeran)

Take Me Back Road (Tim & the Glory Boys)

How Great is Our God (Chris Tomlin)

Everything Sad is Coming Untrue (Jason Grey)

El-Shaddai (Amy Grant)

Voice of Truth (Casting Crowns)

Endlessly (Amaranthe)

Not Alone (Red)

I'm an Open Road (Paul Brandt)

Never Leave Your Side (Sam Tinnesz)

Good to Be Alive (Skillet)

Hoo boy, can I think of sixteen people?

@griseldabanks @kraytwriter @kingofattolia @catkin-morgs @clawedandcute @nerdychristianfanboy @steampunk-archer @sergeanttomycaptain @smhalltheurlsaretaken @scribblermerlin @authortobenamedlater @stainedleather @mrtobenamedlater @mrgartist @get-loved-nerd @a-fount-of-blessings (Ignore if this is a repeat tag. Unless you want to do it again. Up to you. :)

[dystopiandramaqueen]

Kumbaya makes me get violent

I just want this summer to end

It's just like a curse, you see

This bummed out feeling that she's over me

My heart is so landlocked

nothing but tourist shops

I can't even dance in the dark

Cause my headphones are still on the seat of her car