#sumcpWC

[dylanobemineforever]

Do You Love Me? - STILES STILINSKI

Author’s Note: This is my submission for @sumcp ‘s Writing Challenge with the prompt: “Why didn’t you ever say anything? Why now?” Really hope you like it Summer!

Warnings: none really

Word Count: 5,6k

Additional Note: The ending was somewhat inspired by Grey’s Anatomy

Listen to this: F*ck it - BoTalks  (fits loosely, maybe not really, idk. It’s good though!)

“You kinda look like this Stuart fella.” You pointed at the TV screen with your spoon and then dug into your pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream again, moaning as you took another spoonful in your mouth.

“What?!” Stiles looked at you bewildered and seemingly offended. “We look absolutely nothing alike.” He said as he himself took a spoonful from his own pint.

“Switch.” Without looking at one another you exchanged your pints and simultaneously dug into the new flavor. “It’s not an insult, Stiles. It’s just, I don’t know, the eyes and nose I guess.” You shrugged. “He’s cute though.”

“Meaning I am cute?” He gave you a shit-eating grin.

You laughed as you bent forward and placed the pint on the coffee table, exchanging it with your half drunken glass of wine. “I didn’t say that.”

Stiles rolled his eyes, took another spoonful of his cookie dough ice cream and then reached for his wine glass himself.

After a while of no one saying a word, Stiles looked over at you, expecting you to look at the TV screen, but you were already looking at him with a raised eyebrow, as if you knew something that he wasn’t aware of. “What? Why you looking at me like I just stole all your cookies?”

“Eva is cute, right?” You said completely out of context and Stiles’ frown deepened.

“Yeah, I guess.” Now you were the one with the shit-eating grin. “Why you asking me that?”

“You like her.” The question rather sounded like a statement and he wondered if it was even meant to be a question. Stiles turned bright red under your staring eyes and he didn’t even know why.

“Why’d you think that?” He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, while averting eye contact with you and sipping some more on his wine. The liquid numbing and clouding his thoughts a little, but it definitely didn’t help him with his burning cheeks, it only added to it.

“So, you do?” Your smile grew bigger and you bumped his shoulder lightly. “You really like her! Why haven’t you made your move already?”

Stiles put his wine glass down and sat up a little straighter, begrudgingly turning away from the TV screen to meet your eyes. Why did he feel like you caught him? Why did he feel his heartbeat increase and his hands getting clammy?

He looked at you, your face only illuminated by the flickering lights of the TV screen and his throat went dry. He’s been seeing your face nearly everyday now, since High School and still his stomach did somersaults whenever he looked into your eyes. Although you wore some old and worn out sweats, combined with a washed-out Star Wars shirt, your hair up in a messy bun, he still thought you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen and it still left him breathless until this day.

“No, I don’t like Eva.” He shortly paused, before he added, “Well, at least not like that. I mean I like Eva, she’s nice, but there’s nothing more.” He shrugged, but he could read from your facial expressions that you weren’t buying it. “Really, Y/N. That’s all there is. We’re friends, nothing more!”

“Then who is this mystery girl that you told Lydia about, but not me?” Yup, he was definitely trapped. Why couldn’t Lydia just keep something to herself for once?! He made a mental note that he would definitely complain to her about this and remind her of the word ‘confidential’. “Why can’t you tell me who she is? Why Lydia?”

“Because there’s nothing to talk about, Y/N. She’s taken, okay? I don’t have a chance with her anyway, so what’s the point?” His voice sounded rather irritated. Maybe because he was once again reminded of never getting the girl of his dreams. The one that was sitting right next to him.

“The point is, that she’s stupid if she’s taking any man over you, Stiles.”

Stiles laughed bitterly. If only you knew. “Yeah, right.”

“I am serious! Any girl would be so happy to have you as their boyfriend! Heck, you’d even make the best husband and father! You cook, you’re funny, you have a steady job, you’re smart and charming and you’re handsome. Honestly, who wouldn’t want that?” You downed the rest of your wine and poured yourself in another glass.

“Yeah, tell her that!”

“I would if you’d finally tell me who she is!” You exclaimed. “Is it someone I know? Is that why you don’t want me to know who she is?” You knitted your eyebrows together. “Or he?”

Stiles glared at you. “It’s not a he!”

You held your hands up defensively. “Hey, I am not judging! Derek is hot.”

Stiles’ face fell. “What? I-I, what the hell does Derek have to do with this?!”

“I am just joking, Stiles. Calm down.” You snickered. Maybe you had too much to drink.

“Well, good.” Stiles huffed and turned his attention away from you again, hoping that you would just drop the matter already, but you didn’t. Instead you reached for the remote and turned the TV off. ”Hey! I was watching that!” Stiles exclaimed.

“Yeah, sure, now that a bunch of strippers run around topless, this movie suddenly peaks your interest.” You rolled your eyes, so did Stiles. “Now, Stiles, you know I won’t let this go until you tell me her name! You can at least give me her name, right?!”

Stiles shortly thought about giving you a fake name, so you would drop the matter already, but he knew that this would only lead to more lies and would trap him eventually in a web of dishonesty that could endanger your friendship if you would ever be able to untangle it. And knowing you, he knew that you would.

Maybe it was the wine getting to his head or it was the fact that this was a weight that he finally wanted to get off his chest, he told you.

“It’s you, okay?” He blurted out. “Happy now?”

For a long second you just stared at Stiles, questioning if you heard him right, then you just started laughing hysterically. “Yeah, good one!”

A wave of hurt washed over Stiles, being reflected in his eyes. One look at him and your laughter died down instantly. “That was a joke, right?”

You half expected Stiles to start laughing now, mocking how concerned you looked in that moment. Mocking you for actually believing something so ridiculous.

He didn’t.

Instead, he just shook his head, looking into your eyes while his heart raced in his chest as if he had just run a marathon.

Your mind went blank, every thought suddenly erased. Stiles looked at you like a deer caught in headlights, waiting for you to say something – anything! But you couldn’t. Your mouth opening and closing like you were a fish out of water. Nothing made sense to you in that moment. Was he being serious? What was he expecting you to say? Why now? Why? Why did he do this to you?

“Y/N? Please, say something!” He pleaded as he reached out for your right hand, but before he could take it you snapped out of whatever trance like state you just had been in.

“What the fuck, Stiles!” You jumped up from the couch, pacing through your living room, fingers tangled in your hair. “What the fuck?!”

“Y/N, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say-“

“Tsh!” You cut him off and stopped your pacing to look at him. “For how long?” You mumbled, afraid that if you talked normally you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself from yelling.

“First year in college.” He admitted, getting up from the couch and trying to take a step in your direction, but you just took one back and shook your head. “I am sorry, Y/N. I really a-“

“Stop!” You cut him off again. And like you had anticipated you couldn’t keep from yelling anymore. “STOP IT! I don’t wanna hear it!”

“Let me explain-“

“NO!” Tears were forming in both of your eyes and it physically hurt you to see Stiles like this. “Just, why?” You managed to lower your voice. Seeing Stiles like that broke your heart and as the first tear spilled something was triggered within you that caused all the anger to subside. “Why didn’t you ever say anything? Why now?!”

“I was afraid of losing you, okay?! You’re my best friend and I just-… I couldn’t lose you!” He threw his hands up in the air out of frustration. “I guess, I just now realized that with the wedding closing in I just… I am gonna lose you, okay?!”

“What are you talking about?” You really thought you were finding yourself in the wrong movie and that there was a hidden camera in your living room somewhere. You wanted to laugh out loud, applaud Stiles for his great acting abilities, give him a hug and forget that this ever happened, but you knew that it wasn’t that easy. Stiles was being serious, you could tell by how his brows knitted together in a certain way and the way he was carrying himself, more calculated than usual and arms not flailing around aimlessly, but with intention. All these points combined caused you to feel sick to your stomach, like you could throw up any second.

He was being serious.

This wasn’t a joke.  

Why wasn’t he joking? Why wasn’t this a joke?!

“You’re not losing me, Stiles.” Your voice sounded calm as the words left your mouth. You didn’t know how you did it because your insides were burning and shaking. “I am getting married, not buried. I am not gonna be out of this world! Nothing’s gonna change!”

“No, you don’t get it!” He was pulling at his hair, frustrated, the veins on his neck protruding. “Everything’s going to change, because I won’t be able to be around you, not when I know that I will never have you!”

“Are you kidding me?!” Well, there the boiling anger was again. “What the fuck do you expect me to do now? Throw everything away that’s been my life for the last four years? Go running off with you and leave everything behind? Because I can’t do that, Stiles! I can’t!”

“I am not asking you to give your life up! I told you this because I thought it might change your mind… you deserved to know!”

“Damn right I did! I deserved to know that nine fucking years ago! You waited nine fucking years to tell me that you fucking love me?” You grabbed a pillow off the couch and threw it in Stiles’ face.

“Yup. I deserved that.”

“Fuck off!” You screamed. “Just fuck the hell off, Stiles!” You started to sob violently now. Your entire body shaking due to your heavy crying. Stiles tried to get closer to you yet again, but you just took another pillow and threw it in his direction, missing miserably and under normal circumstances he would have laughed, but now everything he wanted to do was cry, scream and never stop. He fucked up. Big time. How could he ever make this right again? “Leave me the fuck alone, asshole!”

“Y/N, please how can I- “

“Go! Just fucking go!” You turned your back to him, only to take big strides towards the front door which you then yanked open. “Fucking leave! Now! And I don’t wanna see you again! Not for some time at least.” The last part only came out as a whisper. It hurt you to utter these words, but you couldn’t have him around, not with the wedding just ahead. You couldn’t because you were afraid that he was right. You were afraid that you would change your mind. And you couldn’t do this to Dave. You loved him, dearly. But what Stiles didn’t know and what you didn’t dare say was that you had loved Stiles just as long as he had apparently loved you, maybe longer. Everything could have been different if one of you would have just confessed their feelings to the other. But that hadn’t been the case. And now you were committed to another man. A man that you pictured a future with. A man with whom you coud have a happy life with. Was that worth giving up for the unknown future that awaited you with Stiles?

“Don’t do this, please.” Stiles’ voice cracked, but nevertheless he took a hesitant step forward.

“Stiles, the wedding is in two weeks! Two fucking weeks!” Tears were streaming down your cheeks like the Niagara Falls.

“I know, I know…”

“Then please leave.” You felt defeated, tired. Exhaustion kicking in. You just wanted this terrible night to end already. Crawling in your bed, waking up the next day and realizing that it was all just a bad dream. A really horrible nightmare. Then you would call Stiles and tell him all about it and the two of you would laugh your asses off about how ridiculous the thought alone was and everything would get back to normal.

Stiles’ head hung low as he walked through the door, not being able to look into your eyes. “I am sorry.”

You didn’t watch him get into his Jeep like you usually did, instead you just slammed the door shut right as he passed the threshold, leaning against it afterward and letting the tears fall freely. Why did he have to make everything so impossibly complicated?

After a good half hour of crying your soul out you got up from your place by the door and went back to the living room, gathering all things that reminded you of the awful night. With shaky hands you took the half drunken wine glasses and gulped the remaining liquid down greedily, letting the alcohol numb your thoughts, at least for a bit. Then you took the long-forgotten ice cream pints and two spoons and walked over to the openly attached kitchen.

Just in the process of cleaning the glasses and spoons, you saw the front door being opened. It was Dave.

“Thought you wanted to go out with the boys after work?” You asked him as he walked over to you and gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek.

“Chris is sick and Tom needed to get home early, so we said that we were just gonna go next week.” He answered while grabbing a beer out of the fridge. “What happened to your date though?” He asked as he opened the lid of the bottle and took a swig. “I thought Stiles wanted to come over?”

“He left early.” Your voice came out shakier than you would’ve liked. You didn’t want to talk about what had happened between the two of you and especially not with Dave. Usually you could talk with him about anything, but this was different. How could you tell your fiancé and soon to be husband that your best friend had just confessed his undying love to you? There was no way that you would let him know that. Dave was a good man and he didn’t deserve this.

Anger was getting the best of you again. How could Stiles do this to you? How could he be so selfish and just throw these damned words right in your face? He knew that his confession would turn your world upside down and not in a positive way. Stiles was well aware that you loved Dave and wanting you to choose between him or Dave was just plain cruel! You knew Stiles for nearly a decade now. He’s been your best friend ever since High School… and he’s been your first crush. You fell madly in love with him. He was smart, kind, loving, funny and always there for you. The two of you had been through so much together, but this was definitely your biggest challenge yet.

“That’s unusual for him.” Dave frowned, looking you up and down as you began scrubbing the kitchen counter, even though it didn’t need scrubbing. You needed to distract yourself with something, in order to not break down crying again just talking about your former best friend. You didn’t even know what status he had in your life anymore. Everything had changed in a matter of seconds. “Usually I need to kick him out before he even thinks about leaving the house. You sure everything’s alright? Did something happen between you two?” Dave laid his hand atop of yours gently, causing you to halt your actions. You looked up at him, his eyes concerned.  He knew how much you cared about Stiles, that you loved him with all your heart, although he hadn’t been fond of the idea at first, but he grew to like the hyperactive and clumsy spaz that Stiles still was. Even in his mid to late twenties.

You shook your head, forcing yourself to not let the tears spill that were building up behind your eyes once again and instead flashed Dave a toothy smile even though it hurt a little. “No, don’t worry. Everything’s fine, he just had to leave early because he has work tomorrow and needs to get up early.”

Dave could see that you weren’t entirely honest with him. Not once had work stopped Stiles from staying until late at night. Something was up, he could tell, but he let it slide nonetheless. You would talk when you were ready. “Okay, if you say so.” He placed a gentle kiss on your cheek. “I am gonna take a shower, you don’t have to stay up for me.” You nodded. “I love you, Y/N. So much.” Dave began to pepper your face with soft and sweet kisses that made you giggle.

“Love you too.” You said with a genuine smile on your face. You did love him. He was good to you, kind and gentle, but you couldn’t shake the feeling off that you yearned for Stiles’ lips to caress you like that and you hated yourself for it.

You couldn’t do this to him.

You couldn’t break his heart like that.

Right?

Needless to say, you didn’t sleep at all that night. Instead you pictured the different future you could have with Stiles while Dave slept peacefully next to you.

You felt like the biggest hypocrite, but you couldn’t stop your mind from running back to Stiles and a realizable future with him. A future you once thought unreachable and unrealistic was within your reach now.

All you had to do was say the word.

No matter what side you picked though, you knew you would lose. If you chose Stiles you would lose Dave. If you chose Dave you would lose Stiles.

So, the question wasn’t really about choosing your preferable future but rather who you could live better without.

You already knew the answer to this, but you tried to push the thoughts aside.

Sometimes it wasn’t about what you wished for, but what would be best for you.

Dave.

Dave was best for you.

Right?

“You fucking what?” Your eyes went wide as you looked at your friend in utter disbelief. “You fucking knew for all those years and never uttered a single word to me?”

You had called Lydia first thing in the morning as Dave went off to work and called her in for an emergency meet-up. You needed to tell someone, talk about what had happened, because you couldn’t keep this bottled up. Maybe you also hoped that Lydia would know what was best for you and give you a little advice. What you came to know though was that she had known about your crush on Stiles and vice versa since the very time it had developed, although you had never told her that.

“Y/N, don’t look at me like that!” She brought her coffee mug to her lips and took a sip, seemingly not bothered about this whole mess.

You didn’t know how to feel about any of this. You were angry, confused and a gut wrenching feeling of dread started hunting you. “Why didn’t you ever say anything!” You exclaimed as you paced up and down in your living room for the second time in under twenty-four hours. “If you knew that I felt like that, why didn’t you ever tell me that Stiles liked me that way too?”

Lydia sat her mug down. “It wasn’t my secret to tell! And honestly it was so obvious that I thought you just had to get it sometime, same goes for Stiles.” She paused and looked at you with her big green eyes that made it hard for you to stay angry at her any longer. “And then you met Dave and I thought that you were over Stiles and I don’t know… You were genuinely happy. I didn’t want to ruin that for you.”

You wanted to say something as your phone started ringing obnoxiously loud. Your step faltered and you anxiously reached to take it out of your pocket, already knowing what you would see on the screen. “It’s him.” It kept ringing, you just blankly staring at the screen in your hands, feeling like the dorky picture of Stiles’ face was mocking you somehow.

“Aren’t you going to get it?” Lydia asked you, sounding somewhat sad at the prospect that you might not.

“I don’t know.” Your thumb hovered over the green button, but you didn’t make a move to actually press it. Then the call ended, going straight to voice mail. You sighed, but not out of relief. It was rather feeling that with every breath you took a new brick was loaded atop your heart, crushing it under its weight. “Lydia, I don’t know what to do.” You looked at her with tear filled eyes, then back down your phone which was receiving another call from Stiles. Knowing him this would probably go on for a while. After you muted your phone, you shoved it pack in your pocket. You couldn’t keep looking at his face smiling back at you. “Please, tell me what I should do.”

Your friend looked at you with pity in her eyes. “Y/N, I can’t tell you that, you know that. That’s your decision to make.” She sighed. “But whatever your choice is, I’m on your side, okay? I’ll support you no matter what.”

You nodded as you sunk down beside her and she pulled you into a much-needed hug. “I know.” You sniffled. “But I just don’t know what to do.”

She rubbed soothing circles on your back. “I know.”

You unlocked your phone, finger hovering over the caller ID for the hundredth time that day. The wedding was tomorrow and you still haven’t spoken to Stiles since that dreadful night. It was weird not having him around and you couldn’t help but feel like a crucial part of you was missing. You wanted to call him, hear his voice, apologize for overreacting and ask him if he wanted to come over for a lazy evening.

But you didn’t.

Instead you threw your phone on your bed again, paced a little more and picked it up one more time. Finger now hovering above his various voice mails. You haven’t even found the strength to listen to these yet. You desperately wanted to hear his voice, but you couldn’t listen to these. What if they would change your mind? The wedding was so close and you couldn’t chicken out now, right? You thought about postponing it, wanted to tell Dave that you needed a little more time, but whenever you wanted to tell him you backed up again, changing the subject. You couldn’t do this to him. You wanted to marry Dave, you really did. You’ve been happy these last four years and now everything seemed to fall apart suddenly.

The phone slipped out of your hands again.

Why was this so hard?

“Is he here yet?” You asked Lydia for the hundredth time as she closed your white wedding dress. This was it. You were all ready to go, only a few minutes left before you would stand in front of the altar.

You looked into the full body mirror. The dress was relatively simple. It was tight around your chest and stomach, complementing your curves in a nice and subtle way and eventually puffed out around your hips and there were a few delicate floral accents at the bottom. You fell in love with it instantly, but now all you wanted was to burn it down at the stakes.

Lydia had helped you with a simple make-up that complemented your features nicely and your y/h/c was tied atop your head in a loose bun with a few strands hanging down to frame your face.

If you were being honest, you never felt prettier, if it weren’t for those damned worry lines between your knitted brows.

“I haven’t seen him anywhere. I am sorry.” Lydia gave you an apologetic look, but you tried to shrug it off.

This was it then? You’ve been best friends with Stiles for nearly a decade and now he wasn’t even part of one of the most important days in your life. Frankly, you didn’t know if you should be relieved at that or crushed. You didn’t know how you would react if you would see him among the crowd. Your emotions were all over the place and unpredictable.

You sighed and shook your head, trying to give her your best fake smile. “No, it’s okay. Maybe it’s better that way.” It probably was.

“You sure about this?” Lydia asked you, clearly seeing the discomfort in your face.

Unconvincingly you nodded weakly. You were, right?

“Okay.” Lydia opened the door and escorted you down the hallway to the chapel where the ceremony would take place. You fell a few steps behind her, both your heels clicking on the marble tiles, the sound echoing off the high walls, sending chills down your spine.

You looked around you nervously, feeling like Stiles could be waiting around any corner. But he wasn’t. And you felt bad for wishing that he was. Were you doing the right thing? Did you make the right decision? Or were you just too scared to admit that you actually knew who your heart belonged to all along?

Lydia halted in front of the huge double doors, looking over her shoulder to look at you. Your eyes were teary, but not because of joy how it should have been. You were scared that this was the wrong decision. Your heart was pounding in your chest at such a high pace that you could feel it in your throat and you were sure that Lydia could hear it.

“You can still turn around, Y/N. You don’t have to do this.” Her eyes mirrored yours pretty much. They were slightly glazed-over from suppressing inevitable tears.  To you it seemed like maybe she wanted you to not go in there, but of course she would never say that to your face. This was your decision and not hers, she told you that already. She respected your choice and would stand by your side no matter what.

“Please, Lydia, just – just open the damn doors.” Lydia nodded sadly, looked you up and down one last time and then finally opened the big double doors to walk down the aisle before you. She was now smiling brightly and was definitely better to cover up her worried frown than you were. The music got louder as it was your turn now. You took a last deep breath to calm your nerves and then took all your courage together to take the first step, the others followed automatically.  

All eyes were trained on you suddenly and you had to put on your best façade, eyes still teary, but everyone just thought that it was because of joy and excitement.

You ignored the stares, you tried avoiding looking through the crowd all together, because you knew that you would only be looking for him.

Dave was patiently waiting in front of the altar, the biggest smile on his face. He was so happy and proud to soon be calling you his wife and all you were feeling was dread. Pure dread that this would be the biggest mistake of your life. That you would regret it.

You stopped in front of him and he took your hands in his, kissing you on the cheek and whispering sweetly in your ear. “You look beautiful! I love you!” You tried to flash him a convincing smile and as his smile faltered slightly, you knew that he could see the worry in your eyes. He squeezed your clammy hands reassuringly and you squeezed back weakly. That seemed to calm him down a bit though.

The pastor began his speech, welcoming everyone for coming and then starting to initiate the actual ceremony. You didn’t really follow though. Your mind was reeling and all your effort was put into not breaking down crying in that moment. You had made the mistake to roam the heads in the crowd with your eyes.

He wasn’t here.

Stiles wasn’t here.

You had wasted your chance, but why did your mind still wander off to think of him standing in front of you right now?

You snapped back to the real world as Dave began to say his vow.

That was it.

It was nearly done.

Over.

“I, Dave Nash, take you, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my wife, in equal love, as a mirror for my true self, as a partner on my path, to honor and to cherish in sorrow and in joy, till death do us part.”

Now it was your turn. Everyone was looking at you expectantly as your eyes always seemed to be flitting back to the door, when suddenly they burst open.

Stiles.

He looked at you, dressed in a black suit, handsome as ever. Your heartbeat skyrocketed as he took one determined step in your direction, then another. He was only looking at you, no one else caught his attention. “I love you, Y/N.” He paused as he took another step. Everyone was dead silent. “I always have. I love everything about you. Even the things I don’t like… I love. And I want you with me. I love you and I think that you love me too.” Another short pause, another step in your direction. “Do you?”

Your heart skipped a beat, then beating twice as fast as if it would jump out of your chest any second. For the first time you smiled. Genuinely smiled, because you could feel how that empty void inside your chest was out of a sudden filled again.

You felt complete just looking at him.

Now you felt stupid for pushing him away for the last two weeks. You were scared of looking at him like you were looking at him in this moment, only to find out now that this was everything you always desired.

Here and now you were sure that this was the right decision. In that moment, nothing felt more right.

You could feel everyone’s stares burning into your skin, but Stiles’ was the one that set you aflame. His eyes shone golden, even from the distance and they looked at you with so much admiration and love that you just wanted to run over to him and kiss him.

Unwillingly you broke eye contact with him to look at Dave whose expression went from confusion to utter hurt. You hated to be the one to cause him that much pain, but you realized now that the decision wasn’t just to protect yourself from a fatal decision, but also him. It wouldn’t be fair to him if you mourned after a man that wasn’t him.

He would understand.

Maybe someday.

“I am sorry.” You whispered as he squeezed your hands tighter, but eventually he released you.

“I know. Me too.”

You looked over to where Stiles was still waiting and without any further thinking you ran down the aisle, grabbed his hand and dragged him out the doors and into the pouring rain with you.

As you came to halt by his jeep you were both soaked, but neither of you cared. He took a moment to admire you from up close until finally he pressed his lips to yours.

The kiss was overwhelming. It was desperate, all kinds of emotions mixed together and were put into that one kiss.

Here and now this was everything you needed. And by the way your heart pounded in your chest as happy as ever, you knew you made the right choice.

This felt right.

“Yes, Stiles.” You breathed out as you both broke the kiss to fill your lungs with oxygen again. “Yes, I do. I do love you with all my heart! I love you, Stiles!”

And you’ve never been surer of anything in your entire life.

He was the one.

The only one for you.

The problem is, the epically great decisions and the epically bad ones look exactly the same when you’re making them.

Looking back, it’s easy to see when a mistake has been made.

To regret a choice that seemed like a decent idea at the time.

But if we used our best judgment and listened to our hearts, we’re more likely to see that we chose wisely.

And avoided the deepest, most painful regret of them all.

The regret that comes from letting something amazing pass you by.

Forever: @koizorahana @eddies-gazebos @colette2537 @rissyrapp20 @evanesdust

GET ADDED TO ANY OF MY FICS HERE

[redbrickisaac]

Author’s Note: This is my attempt to get myself out of my teen wolf writing slump and also my submission for @sumcp ‘s Writing Challenge. 

Prompt: “It’s okay, you don’t have to love me.”

Pairing: Isaac x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: angst, curses, near-death experience, cheesiness

Word Count: >1K 

Musical Inspiration: “Earned It” - The Weeknd

  It’s spring when you notice it.

The pack is different than it used to be. It’s not just a bunch of scraggly teenagers forced to group together for the sake of survival anymore. There are cliques within your clique, pairings. Erica with Boyd, Liam with Hayden, Mason with Corey. There’s not one but two love triangles going on. One between Stiles, Lydia, and Derek and the other containing Scott, Allison, and Kira. Even Theo and Malia have a strange sexual tension that seems like it’s leading somewhere. The only people who aren’t paired up seem to be you and Isaac.

He notices you noticing and he takes a long, contented look at the group with a serene tilt to his lips. This is his family, the only one he has anymore and he seems unbothered by the pairings. His gaze returns to you and he smiles.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to love me.”

He says it as a joke.

You smile and look away. At the time, you don’t expect those words to come back to haunt you.

*

It’s summer when things change again.

A massive heatwave hits Beacon Hills causing temperatures to spike and tempers to flare. Theo and Malia finally fall into each other after an explosive argument in front of the whole group. Their tension culminating in something passion-fueled and hungry. You knew it was inevitable but somehow, it still surprises you.

The pack spends a lot of time at the pool Stiles and Lydia talked Derek into behind his newly rebuilt house in the Preserve. The pack’s house now. You suspect he could have held out against Stiles alone, but no one says no to Lydia, especially if she’s got them by the dick (which she decidedly does).

Lounging by the pool would be a lot more comfortable if there weren’t so much exposed skin. So many lingering touches as packmates pass each other. And there you are alone on your deck chair. You try to swallow your envy but it’s not as easy as you wish it was.

“Hey.” A shadow falls over you and you lift your sunglasses to see Isaac looking down at you, something tense about his expression. “Wanna swim with me?”

You could say no and keep wallowing in your self-pity, or you could accept his offer and allow yourself to have a little fun. “Sure.”

You follow him to the pool and splash in beside him. He spends the next couple of hours entertaining you.

Later, at night, when the rest of the pack slips into each other’s rooms, you know it’s still just a distraction when Isaac shows up at your door. He looks at you without expectation and you open your door wider, inviting him inside.

When he kisses you, it helps you forget how alone you are. When he touches you, it helps you feel something besides cold desperation. And when you pull back, worried that you can’t do this, can’t use him this way, he licks his lips and promises that ‘it’s okay, you don’t have to love me’.

You search his gaze as he waits for you to decide, to figure out if you want this. You don’t just want it, you need it, need him. So you kiss him and then just… don’t stop.

*

There are flowers blooming on the ground again when the Fae attack the Preserve. They like their curses, the Fae, and they hit half the pack with a killing curse before the rest of you run them off. It’s slowly draining the life from the affected members of the pack and Kira is nearly lost before Stiles’ research reveals how traditional Fae magic is and well, every story starts with a kernel of truth apparently. Even fairytales it seems. It turns out ‘true love’s kiss’ is actually a plausible cure for a curse if it’s brought on by Fae magic. Luckily, everyone in the pack has someone to kiss them to put a stop to their curse. Everyone, that is, except Isaac.

He lies on the couch while the whole pack stares at the two of you. They know you’ve been sleeping together for a while now, but they don’t know the promise Isaac made. The one he still makes now when he grips your hand weakly and tells you, voice cracked and dying, that ‘it’s okay, you don’t have to love me’.

Tears fall from your eyes because every time he said those words, you heard ‘I don’t want you to love me’. And you thought that maybe it was because he could never love you back. It’s only as he’s dying, letting you off the hook for not loving him, that you realize, maybe he thought he wasn’t worth loving either.  

You lean in slowly and press your lips to his, a dry, chaste little thing that still manages to convey the depth of your feelings. Because it brings the color back to his cheeks, the breath back to his lungs. He stares at you in wonder as he slowly regains his strength.

“You love me?” He asks as though he can’t believe it.

“It’s okay,” you say with a watery sigh. “You don’t have to love me.”

“I do,” he confesses, gathering you in his arms. “God, I love you,” he breathes out like it’s a relief to finally say it.

It’s a relief to hear it.

He holds you for the rest of the night, gazing at you with all the love he possesses and you wonder how you missed it for so long.

It’s the way he’s always looked at you. Right from the start.

[chaotic-wanda]

Want You Back

author’s note: This is my first imagine for @sumcp writing challenge and I hope I did it justice for all of you! It’s kind of an AU where Allison is alive and Isaac never left cause I love them. I also got some inspiration from 5SOS-Want You Back, so i suggest maybe listening to it.  And so so so many thanks to @fandombishness for reading over this and giving me some tips. You’re a literal angel.

prompt: “I used to miss you so much, but it never seemed like you missed me, and I guess because of that I stopped missing you.”

warnings: super angsty and maybe like one curse?

word count: 1769

Stiles had been drowning in his own thoughts until he heard her laughter echoing down the hallway, his head immediately snapping up and towards her direction. He couldn’t remember the last time he had heard her laugh, or the last time she had looked so genuinely happy. His gaze was full on longing as he silently begged for Y/N to look his way, to spare him a glance, even if he knew he didn’t deserve it. Throughout their whole relationship, Stiles managed to keep the supernatural away from her. But not without cost. The beginning of their relationship went by smoothly. Sure, some of his stories didn’t add up or make sense, but Y/N trusted him and knew he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt her. It became more difficult after a year of being together. The fight with Jennifer and the Alpha pack took a toll on him, and things only went downhill from there. He started pushing her away slowly after that. The fear of not being able to protect her consumed him. The only good thing that came out of it was he had pushed her away before everything with the Nogitsune went down.

“You know, just staring at her isn’t going to make her magically come back to you,” Isaac mumbled as he came up behind Stiles.

“Shut it Scarf Boy, no one asked for your opinion anyway,” Stiles grumbled in response while slamming his locker door. He turned and leaned against it as he saw the looks of pity coming from the pack. He rolled his eyes as he pulled his backpack straps further up his shoulders, “Is there something you’d all like to say?”

Everyone glanced at each other to see who would speak first until Allison took the lead, “It’s been months since the Nogitsune Stiles. Maybe you should go talk to her.”

The rest of the pack nodded along in agreement. Stiles just scoffed at their response. How could they even suggest that after all he had done? He’d never even technically broken up with her, just pushed her away and stopped talking to her. She’d never forgive him… would she?

Scott could see the struggle his best friend was having with himself. He slowly placed a hand on Stiles shoulder to make him look up at the alpha. “At the very least, you owe her an explanation. And who knows, maybe something good come out of it.”

Lydia agreed as she stepped closer to Stiles before saying, “You have been miserable since you pushed her out of your life. We all get you’re trying to protect her, but you were such a great couple. You deserve to be happy in life, and if that’s with Y/N, you deserve to as least give it a shot.”

“Just promise us you’ll at least think about it?” Allison asked with such hopeful eyes. Stiles couldn’t squash that hope, all he could do was nod as if saying yes.

Maybe that’s why Stiles found himself walking towards her door that night, one that use to seem so familiar to him but now felt foreign and strange. He hesitated before he lifted his hand to knock, praying she wouldn’t slam the door in his face. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him when she opened the door and he looked at her, really looked at her, for the first time in a long time. Y/N’s face fell into shock seeing the last person she thought she’d ever see standing there. He shook his head trying to regain control of his scrambling thoughts then looked back up at her, barely mumbling out a hi. She looked at him with a pained expression before asking, “Stiles what are you doing here?”

“Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and just thought I’d stop by,” he replied with a chuckle trying to lighten the somber mood while rubbing the back of his neck.

Y/N leaned against her doorframe with her arms crossed as she looked at Stiles with a skeptical look. “What could possibly be so interesting in this neighborhood to have you around?” She asked with an amused tone to her voice.

He tried to fight the smallest smile as they briefly fell into their old bantering habits. She did as well until she remembered everything that had happened between them. With a frown she looked down to the ground which caused Stiles to step closer, “I was wondering if maybe we could talk?” He had never felt more anxious than he did in that moment, scared she would tell him to go to hell and leave him standing on her porch. Instead she did the opposite and motioned for him to follow her inside.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” She halfheartedly asked him. You could feel the awkward tension in the air.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled as he ringed his hands out over and over. He wasn’t sure where to start the conversation. If he was being honest, he didn’t think he would have gotten this far.

She couldn’t help but smile at the nervous tick he obviously hadn’t outgrown. The first time she saw it was when he was trying to ask her out on their first date, stumbling over his own words. She had found it so cute and adorable at the time, now it just broke her heart. “Some habits die hard, huh?”

He looked at her with a tiny grin, feeling some of his nerves melt away. “What can I say? You still make me nervous after all this time.” He thought it was a sweet comment, that maybe it’d make her grin. Instead she looked down, suddenly finding the floor more interesting and ignoring the ache in her chest.

He frowned and felt the anxiety slowly creeping back in, eating at his thoughts. The quiver of her voice is what brought him back to reality. “Why are you really here Stiles?”

Stiles hesitated before finally starting the speech he had rehearsed so many times in his head. He looked at her with such sadness in his eyes before starting, “I’m really sorry Y/N. I pushed you away without any explanation. I don’t think I could even begin to explain the things that happened.”

Y/N sighed heavily before she sat on the couch, “You never tried to Stiles.”

He cautiously moved closer and sat across from her before diving into his explanation, “I know, I know and I’m so sorry. But I want to try and fix this, I want to try and fix us.” He reached for her hands, but she wrapped them around herself, trying not to let the walls she had worked so hard to build crumble around her. Stiles tried to not let the hurt flash over his face.

“You know, I don’t think I ever told you, but I knew from the moment I laid my eyes on you that I was in love with you Stiles. You were this bizarre, sarcastic, nerdy guy who had the biggest heart. You were so protective of the people you cared about. I loved you so much,” Y/N whispered just loud enough for Stiles to hear.

Stiles felt himself choke as he whispered, “Loved?” He felt all hope he had built up chip away, piece by piece. Y/N looked down as if she was trying to find an answer. He could see the internal battle she was having before she snapped her head up and met his eyes with her own.

She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to fight the tears before looking at him with extreme insecurity. “I used to miss you so much, but it never seemed like you missed me, and I guess because of that I stopped missing you.” She wrapped her arms tighter around herself, as if it would keep her from falling apart. “I spent weeks, months even, wondering if you ever cared about me or if it had all just been a game. I felt like I was a chore for you, as if you were forcing yourself to be with me. Do you know how that made me feel?” she looked up at him as she asked.

The tears were flowing freely from her eyes now and Stiles would give anything to wrap her up in his arms and wipe them away as he told her it was ok, that they could work this out. But he couldn’t, so he stayed in place as he restrained himself from holding the one person he loved most in this world.

“Please just give me a chance Y/N. Give us a chance. I miss you and I don’t want to go another day of not having you in my life anymore because it’s hell,” Stiles was pleading. He was begging with every nerve in his body for her to take him back. He’d get on his knees if he had to.

“What did you expect me to do Stiles? Just wait around until you decided I was worthy of your time again? I wasn’t the one who pushed you away!” She felt the anger building inside her with every word as she looked at the boy she once loved so much.

Stiles shook his head while replying, “It wasn’t like that.”

Y/N quickly stood up at that and yelled, “Then what was it because I nearly lost my damn mind trying to figure out why I wasn’t good enough for you!” Every emotion she had worked so hard to keep locked up came pouring out.

He stood to meet her and grabbed her hands, “Y/N please… I can’t tell you, but you have to believe me when I say you meant the world to me. You still do.” Stiles felt tears rolling down his own cheeks as he felt his chances slipping further and further away.

She yanked away from him and took a few steps back before looking down, barely whispering, “I think you should go Stiles. There’s nothing left for you here.” It broke her heart to say it, but she couldn’t risk the loneliness that came last time she let him in and he left.

In that moment, he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He slowly nodded as he gradually made his way to the door. Stiles paused at the doorway, his hand just barely holding onto the handle. He turned around and gave her one last pleading look, “This can’t be it for us,”

She glanced up at him with a hopelessness he’d never seen as she whispered, “Then how come it is?”

[madjor99]

Mistakes and Regrets

Author: madjor99 Characters: Stiles Stilinski x Reader / Scott McCall x Reader Warnings: Lots and lots of angsts, character death, some cussing. Word Count: 3,810 A/N: Okay so this is the first thing I’ve written for Tumblr, so I’m sorry in advance for this mess. This is for Summer’s Writing Challenge (aka @sumcp​.) My prompt was “You look happier with him.” I’ve always wanted to write stuff and post it on here, so this is my first shot at it, hopefully people like this and I can post more. This also hasn’t really been edited for grammar. This follows the show until the very end where I changed it up a bit.

Growing up I only had two worries in life. They came in the form of my two best friends. Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski. Somehow, they always managed to get themselves into trouble, and inevitably dragged me along with them. When we were younger it was mostly harmless fun, but when we entered high school things got more complicated. Supernaturally complicated. First it was Scott getting bit. Then it was Peter. Then Jackson being a kanima. The list went on and on. It never seemed to stop. Somewhere in this whole mess of Supernatural shit, Stiles and I became closer. I don’t really know when or how it happened, but I guess as the two humans with no discernable skills or talents we were drawn to each other. It wasn’t passionate or crazy, it was comforting and safe. We made each other happy. Eventually I fell in love with the spastic boy I called my boyfriend. Until, something happened that would change our relationship forever.

“Please stop,” I choked out, tears soaking my face, “please just let me go. You don’t need me.” “He’s screaming in here you know,” Stiles responded dragging his fingers down my face, “begging me to stop hurting you.” it wasn’t actually your boyfriend talking to you though, it was a demon with Stiles face. His grip on my neck only tightened. “Before I let you go were going to play one more game.” “Please no,” I whimpered, “no more.” “Don’t worry. It’s not really a game, more of a revelation. My final way of getting into that pretty little head of yours.” He leaned in close and began to speak into my ear, “I can hear all of his thoughts you know. Even ones he’s had in the past. My favorites have been about his relationships and who he cares for. You’re his girlfriend so of course he cares for you, but not like he cares for that red head.” For a moment I hesitated in my struggling. “Don’t get me wrong, he cares for you, but the thoughts he has about Lydia.” He tsked, “Who know Stiles was so dirty.” “Shut up.” I muttered under my breath. “What? You don’t want to know about how Stiles imagines pressing Lydia’s cute little ass up against a wall and absolutely ravishing her? How he’d bend her over a desk and-” “Stop! You’re lying!” I shouted, then quieter I muttered, “you’re lying. He never liked Lydia, he lied about liking her to hide his feelings for me. He told me!” The false Stiles stepped away from me, allowing me to crumple to the ground. I could see the victory on his face, he had gotten to me. “Oh, Stiles is that what he told you?” With Stiles face he laughed at me. “Oh (Y/N), you’re such a fool. You were his SECOND CHOICE! Don’t you see? He chose you because you were there. You were safe, you made him feel good about himself. But Lydia, oh the things she does to him. Lydia is his passion. You’ll never make him feel like that. You may make love to him, but you’ll always be second best thing.” And with that he left. Still laughing. That’s how they found me. Leaning against the lockers a blank look etched onto my face. Scott ran up to me, “(Y/N) thank god.’ He pulled me into his arms. “I thought we lost you.” He pulled back a bit. “(Y/N) what happened?” I just stared of into space, a dead look on my face. “(Y/N) are you okay, what’s wrong.” Scott held my face. “What did he do to you?” Tears began to well up in my eyes again, and Scott panicked. “(Y/N) talk to me!” Allison looked at me then whispered to Scott, “She’s been though a lot let’s just get her home, we’ll talk once she’s slept.” Scott paused, but only for a moment, “You’re right.” With that, Scott scooped me into his arms and carried me home.

I stayed in my room after that. I didn’t want another encounter with Stiles, real or fake. I tried to process what the nogitsune had told me. I tried to tell myself he was lying, but deep down I knew, he wasn’t. I think a part of me had always known. I just never wanted to accept it. Eventually Scott came to over, he told me how they saved Stiles by separating him from the nogitsune then giving the nogitsune the bite. “(Y/N) there’s one more thing.” he muttered. Scott had a look in his eyes, that scared me because I had never seen so much pain in Scotts eyes before, he was always so strong. I knew in that moment that someone had died, and there was only one person who could cause him to look as though his soul had been shattered. “No,” I could see the tears in his eyes, the absolute pain and suffering he was experiencing. “She can’t be,” tears began to well in my eyes. “An Oni, he- he-” I pulled him into my arms. Allison had died, he didn’t need to say anymore. We wept together for hours. We fell asleep on my couch holding each other, mourning the loss of a beautiful soul.

The next morning, I pulled myself out of Scotts arms and went to get myself a glass of water. I was still trying to wrap my head around what had happened. Allison was gone. Dead. Killed because of the nogitsune. I didn’t want to believe what he had told me about Stiles, trying to come up with excuse after excuse, but deep down I knew. I think I had always know. It was the truth. I felt the pain in my chest grow, my legs no longer supporting me, I collapsed to the ground. Choked sobs escaping my lips. “(Y/N) …” My entire body tensed up. I slowly stood up, trying to regain my composure. “How did you get in here.” I whispered. “Scott let me in.” He paused. I refused to look at him. I refused to look at the broken look I knew was on his face. I couldn’t help but for a brief moment blame him for Allison’s death. “(Y/N) we should talk.” I felt his hand brush mine. “Don’t touch me!” I screeched, slapping his hand away from mine. “Don’t you dare touch me.” I glared finally looking at him. He looked like shit, still pale, hair a mess. But there was no doubt it was Stiles. My Stiles. The broken look that I knew was he was going to have, gave that away. “(Y/N) I know you’re upset but-” he stared. “But what? What could you possibly know? Do you have any idea what I went through?” Stiles looked down. “He kept me prisoner for WEEKS. Taunting me, using me as bait.” I began to cry again, “touching me. Torturing me. I thought it couldn’t get any worse. And right before he lets me go, he tells me you still have feelings for Lydia!” I began to pull at my hair. “I’ve been trying and trying to get it out of my head, but I can’t.” “You have to know he was lying.” he tried to reach for me again, but I stepped away. “(Y/N)” “I’m not an idiot Stiles. The nogitsune was a trickster, he loved to deceive and cause strife. But never did he lie. He twisted the truth. So, no, I don’t think he was lying. I think you chose me because I was there, and I wanted you. I think every time we slept together you were imagining me with red hair and not (y/h/c)” I tried to take a deep breath. “I can’t even look at you.” Neither of us said anything, I knew I was being irrational, I knew I was being dramatic. I didn’t care. A sick little part of me wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. Even though it wasn’t actually Stiles. I heard him take in a deep breath, “(Y/N). I love you. I love you so much.” For a moment I thought I had misheard him. In the months we had been together, we had never said the “L” word. I had wanted too, but I never had the guts. My fears getting in the way. I felt my chest begin to tighten. “How dare you. How dare you stand here and say you love me, Stiles.” He opened his mouth to speak. “Get out.” He made no move to leave. “Get out!” I grabbed my hair. “Get out, get out, get out!” Scott ran into the kitchen, “What’s going on?” Stiles tried to grab my hands for a second time, “I said don’t touch me!” I shoved Stiles away from me, causing him to fall to the ground. Everything began to go fuzzy, and for a moment I didn’t know where I was any more. For a moment, I was back with the nogitsune. Curling myself into a ball I slowly began to mutter, “let me go, please let me go. Please, please. I’m sorry.” Scott ran over to me, “(Y/N) okay, you’re in your house. You’re safe.” He began to run his fingers through my hair, and slowly I came back to reality. Scott looked at Stiles, “I think you should go.” “Scott-” “Stiles. Go.” Stiles began to leave but paused at the kitchen doorway. “When she has a panic attack you have to-” “Brush her hair. Stiles. I. Know. Now go home. I’ll call you later.” He hesitated, but finally. He left. As soon as I heard the front door slam all the flight left my body and I collapsed into Scotts arms. He picked me up, carried me up the stairs and into my room. He placed me into the bed, on my side and pulled the covers over me. He then got my brush and began to brush my hair out onto my pillow. After a while I was nodding off, I felt him get up and put the brush away. He began to leave my room, when I called his name softly. “Scott?” He turned around. “Stay.” I could see the hesitation on his face. “Please. I can’t be alone right now.” He took a deep breath and nodded, “okay.” Scott pulled back the covers and crawled into bed. I turned over and he pulled me into his chest. For the second time I fell asleep in my best friend’s arms.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD. That’s what Ms. Morrell said I had. “You were help captive, for weeks, by a monster with your boyfriend’s face. He did unspeakable things to you,” I absent mindedly rubbed one of the many scars that littered my body, thanks to the nogitsune. “This is going to be a long recovery. You’re going to need your best friends.” “Friend.” I muttered. “Excuse me?” ‘I only have one best friend.” I looked up from my hands, “His name is Scott McCall.” It was true. Stiles was no longer part of my life. I just felt numb about the entire situation. Scott and I on the other hand had become extremely close. He was consistently there for me, taking me to and from school, helping me with all the work I had missed, and helping me deal with my increasing amount of panic attacks. I felt as though I was getting better bit by bit. Soon though Scott and the pack had to go to Mexico to try and find Derek. Scott had asked me to come, but I told him I wanted nothing to do with the pack right now, as I would be more of a liability than a help. With the pack gone, so was my entire support system. So, I spiraled. I stopped going to school and therapy and I took up drinking. It was the only thing that successfully helped me forget for a while. One day I was drinking and dancing around my house just in a t-shirt and underwear. I had a large, half empty bottle of vodka, in my hand. I had woken up screaming, because I had a nightmare about the nogitsune coming into my room and taking me again. So instead of dealing with the fear coursing through my veins, I decide to get a drink. That was at 4am. It was noon now. I felt great, I felt free. No more fear, no more sadness, just numb nothingness. I was in the middle of dancing to whatever song was playing, when the music cut off. “What the fuck?” I stopped in my dancing. When I looked over, I saw Scott holding my phone. An angry look on his face. “I have been calling you all morning, and this is what you’ve been doing?” I rolled my eyes, “Lighten up Scotty,” I took a drink, wincing at the familiar burn or the alcohol making its way down my throat, “have a drink. Relax.” “Are you drunk right now?” He asked. “Me? Drunk? Nooooo?” Putting the cap back on the bottle, I began to walk away. “(Y/N) give me the vodka.” Scott began to walk towards me. “Noooooo! I don’t wanna.” I danced away from him, giggling. “(Y/N),” he practically growled at me. “Stop running away from me please. I’ve had a long day.” I stuck my tongue out at him, “if you want the bottle you’re gonna have to catch me.” I ran up the stairs and into my room. I heard him sigh and begin to follow me. Because he wasn’t running or trying I made it to my room before he did. I shut my door and got under the covers giggling. I could hear the door slowly creek open, and another giggle slipped past my lips. “I wonder where (Y/N) is?” Scott made his way across the room. I could hear him approach the bed. I waited for him to find me, but after a moment nothing happened, so I slowly pulled the covers back and saw Scotts face hovering over mine. “Gotcha.” I squealed and tried to pull the covers back over my head, but Scott pulled them off me and began to tickle my sides. “Scott stop!!” He persisted in his tickling torture. “You know I hate being tickled. He paused, “are you gonna stop drinking?” I began to pout and hug the bottle to my chest. “Why do I have too.” “Because you don’t need to be drinking this early in the morning (Y/N).” He grabbed the bottle. “Scott no.” I tried to pull the bottle back, but he had supernatural strength, so he pulled it away from me. Suddenly I felt all the negative feelings I had been trying to drink away flood back.

“Give it back.” I began to hit Scotts chest, “Give it back. You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do.” “(Y/N).” ‘Not when you left too. You left me and went to Mexico.” I was hitting his chest harder and faster. “You left me when I needed you most. I hate you. Leave me alone, just go!”

Scott grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head. Flashing his red eyes at me he growled out, “(Y/N). Stop. Now.” Instead of flinching away from him, or feeling fear, I felt warmth flow throughout my body. Scott took a deep breath and stepped away. “You are drunk and sad. I’m going to take this bottle away and you are going to go to bed. When you wake up we are going to have a serious talk.” He began to leave. “You’re right. I am drunk,” he paused, “but I’m not sad. I’m not happy, I’m not scared. I’m just angry. I haven’t been able to feel anything but nothing or anger in weeks,” I took a deep breath, “please help me.” “(Y/N) …” I stood up and took off my shirt, “Scott please help me feel something else.” I could see him take a sharp breath. He rubbed his face and walked over to me. Scott stood in front of me just looking me in the eyes. I stared up at him. He took my face, gently, in his hands, and my eyes slowly closed. Until I felt his lips on his forehead. Slowly I felt my entire body flush, my eyes slowly peeled open. “You’re drunk (Y/N).” He picked my shirt up off the ground. “Arms up.” I lifted my arms up, and he began to put my shirt on, “I’m not going to take advantage of you in this state.” Once my shirt was back on, Scott pulled back my covers and I climbed into bed. Scott kissed my forehead again and began to run his fingers through my hair. “You’re going to go to bed, and I’m going to go downstairs. Once you wake up, we’ll talk.” I nodded my head. Scott got up walked out, once he shut my door I muttered, “thank you.” I knew Scott heard me. I felt myself fall asleep, thinking about how lucky I was.

Over time Scott and I became closer, we had never made anything official and we never did anything more than cuddling, but still, something was there. I was nervous about having anything serious or physical after Stiles, and Scott had just lost Allison. We were healing each other. It was nice. I was getting better, going to therapy, and school. Scott was great with taking me to and from places. He’d come over to my house and help me with homework or we’d just talk. It was peaceful. But it seems that life wanted me to suffer, because yet again I found myself in the hands of a crazy villain. Some crazy guy named Theo. He kept going on about Dread Doctors and chimera. I was tied to a pole, watching some girl named Hayden get injected with drug after drug. I knew that was going to be me. I would fade in and out of consciousness, never knowing how much time had passed. Finally, I woke up on the table. “This is going to hurt, I was hoping you’d still be asleep for this part, but too late now.” My head snapped towards Theo bringing the needles and tubes towards my arms. And I screamed. No words. Just high-pitched terror screams. I screamed, even when I ran out of breath. I screamed until Theo put his hand over my mouth. “Stop screaming, you’ll do that once I put the drug in.” I begged him with my eyes to stop. Before he could remove his hand, the doors flew open. The pack ran in, and I nearly cried in relief. Theo pulled me off of the table holding his claws to my throat. “No one move.” Stiles stepped forward. “Theo, I swear to god. Let her go.” We locked eyes, but only for a moment, until Scott stepped forward. “(Y/N) are you okay?” I nodded my head, “good.” His eyes shifted to Theo, “give her to me, and you can walk out of here. No one will stop you. But you have to give her to me.” Stiles head snapped to Scott. “What!?” “No one will stop me from leaving?” Theo asked. Scott nodded, “No one. I give you my word. Theo didn’t hesitate, he pushed me onto the ground and while people were rushing me, he ran out. The first one to me was Stiles, he pulled me up off the ground. Once I was standing I ripped myself out of his arms and ran straight into Scotts. Scott grabbed my head and began inspecting my face, “are you okay? Did he hurt you? Did he give you anything? I shook my head and placed my hands over his. “No, I’m okay. I’m okay.” Scott pulled me into his arms and I melted into his embrace, “Thank god. I was so scared.” “I’m glad you’re okay (Y/N).” I looked over at Stiles. His face was soft, and eyes caring. For a moment I saw him as the boy I fell in love with, and not the monster I remembered. I sent him a small smile, “thank you Stiles.” For a moment I wasn’t scared of Stiles, and I thought that eventually, with time, we could repair our friendship. Then I blinked. And there was a giant needle sticking out of Stiles chest. It was like everything was in slow motion. The needle pulled out of his chest. Blood fell out of Stiles mouth, just like the movies. Stiles collapsed onto the ground. I could hear screaming. It was me I was screaming. Scott and the rest of the pack ran over and began to fight the Dread Doctors. I felt myself run over to Stiles. I put my hands over Stiles chest. “Oh god. Oh god. Stiles. There’s so much blood, I don’t know what to do.” I could see Stiles trying to speak. “Don’t speak Stiles, you’re gonna be fine. You haven’t even heard about my brief stint at alcoholism. It sucked.”

Stiles shakily reached up and pushed my hair behind my ear. He then proceeded to wipe the tears off my face. I hadn’t even realized I was crying. He was saying something, so I put my head closer to his mouth. “(Y/FN) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N) I have loved you since they day I laid my eyes on you.” He coughed out. “Stiles don’t tell me this now, save your strength.” I sobbed out. “Just let me say this.” He took a shaky breath, “I love you, but I’m letting you go. I’ve seen you with Scott.” His hand grasped mine. “You’ll always be my first love Stiles, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I couldn’t forgive you.” I squeezed his hand back. “You look happier with him.” He coughed up more blood, “don’t ever let him go (Y/N). Don’t make my mistake.” He took another pained breath, then closed his eyes. “Stiles. Stiles. Stiles wake up! You have to stay awake!” I began to shake him. “STILES. WAKE UP.” I felt someone grab my shoulders and try to pull me away, I tried to shove them off me, but they were stronger. Began to hit the persons chest. They caught my arms, and I could hear them calling my name. “He has to stay awake. He has too.” “(Y/N)!” My eyes snapped to Scotts, there were tears running down his cheeks. “He’s gone.” I shook my head. not accepting it. “No. No no no!” Scott pulled me into his arms and together we cried.

I only had two worries in life. My two best friends. Stiles Stilinski and Scott McCall. One faithful day was all it took for my problems were cut in half, far too soon. And replaced with mistakes and regrets.

[huntersanonymous]

Okay so I have actual tears in my eyes. I know I said I welcome the angst but damn this was INTENSE. I just like put my phone down and sat there for a second because I didn’t know what was going on.. this was so.. it was crazy good and you’ve never written anything? I don’t believe that! This was heartbreaking and fantastic 😍😍😍

Mistakes and Regrets

Author: madjor99 Characters: Stiles Stilinski x Reader / Scott McCall x Reader Warnings: Lots and lots of angsts, character death, some cussing. Word Count: 3,810 A/N: Okay so this is the first thing I’ve written for Tumblr, so I’m sorry in advance for this mess. This is for Summer’s Writing Challenge (aka @sumcp​.) I’ve always wanted to write stuff and post it on here, so this is my first shot at it, hopefully people like this and I can post more. This also hasn’t really been edited for grammar. This follows the show until the very end where I changed it up a bit.

Growing up I only had two worries in life. They came in the form of my two best friends. Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski. Somehow, they always managed to get themselves into trouble, and inevitably dragged me along with them. When we were younger it was mostly harmless fun, but when we entered high school things got more complicated. Supernaturally complicated. First it was Scott getting bit. Then it was Peter. Then Jackson being a kanima. The list went on and on. It never seemed to stop. Somewhere in this whole mess of Supernatural shit, Stiles and I became closer. I don’t really know when or how it happened, but I guess as the two humans with no discernable skills or talents we were drawn to each other. It wasn’t passionate or crazy, it was comforting and safe. We made each other happy. Eventually I fell in love with the spastic boy I called my boyfriend. Until, something happened that would change our relationship forever.

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