#suggie bear

[willard--stiles]

PLEASE FORGIVE ME POOKIE WOOKIE SUGGIE BEAR (I'm so sorry)

Refrain from calling me that.

Also, leave me alone, please. I want to go to bed.

[yourfavouriterival]

the slow descent from reality (and how to find your way back)

shoko x platonic!fem!reader, gojo x platonic!fem!reader, geto x platonic!fem!reader

warnings: slightly au (not concrete on whether it is canon-compliant), puking, crying, mentions of wounds, mentions of death, hurt/comfort

note: idk if this is good :( but it came out and this is the first thing i've written in months so do give me criticism

-

There must be something in the air. That must be it, because she must’ve been imagining things. Surely, the two loves of her life were still very much the loves of her life. Surely, her closest and longest friend was still her closest and longest friend. Surely, their choice of school and choice of career hadn’t changed their souls so much that she flinched away from their touch. Surely, she could still stand her three best friends' gaze on her and not need to shrink from them. 

And yet. 

Her best friends—her three only ones—that she couldn’t bear to be away from had suddenly become the only ones she couldn’t bear to be close to. 

It’d all started in the beginning of the colder months. She’d yanked her coat over her thin hoodie and held the sleeves to stop them from rolling up her arm. She’d pulled a hat onto her head, avoiding the mirror to be able to ignore how egg shaped she must’ve looked. She’d double-tied her shoes to keep the cold out. 

She’d even grabbed an extra knife to stuff in her boot. 

And still her hands shook and her heart blistered from the cold. 

How long had she grasped onto this feeling within, trying to breathe it into existence only for it to not matter in the slightest? Years, at this point. How long had she wanted to fight stronger curses, to show how strong she truly was? How long had she longed for the chance to prove herself, to finally protect something that mattered?

Yet this past mission. She might've very well signed her resignation papers on the train ride home. 

Her train compartment had been isolated, just her and the sound of metal on metal as she turned her head away from the windows. Her phone lay silent in her pocket, the headphones she usually wore haphazardly thrown into her shoulder bag alongside the knife she’d stuffed in her boot. 

She’d come home, though. As she walked the steps leading to her dorm room, she thought she might just pass out, not from exhaustion. Every step hurt her lungs, and she felt the world was spinning before her eyes, and she couldn’t seem to stand on her own two feet, having to support herself on the wall next to the door. 

She’d never felt so weak. 

Her phone buzzed. 

She opened it. 

suggy: me n dumbass r watching lotr. come over

suggy: realising that sounds like a fuck boy dont come over

suggy: i give up. bye. 

suggy: shoko wants u here. i will not fuck u. 

sat on as a child: sugu soooo wants to hit

sat on as a child: ok sorry hope ur mission went well :3

cigarette girl: hello can u bring me a pack i think i left it in ur room

cigarette girl: omg wait how did the mission go!!! ur so professional now

And for some reason, she closed the door and slid down, numb to the feeling of the wood door digging into her back and somehow unable to close her eyes. The room was dark, the candle she had in the corner cold and dry, the light switch on the wall above her seeming to move further and further away from her hand that felt like forty pounds resting on her leg. 

She felt sick. 

-

For two days she couldn’t eat. She avoided Suguru and Satoru’s invitations by saying she had a stomach ache and she avoided Shoko by saying she had plans with the boys. For four days she couldn’t sleep. 

Nausea wracked her body with each breath and her head was spinning even though she hadn’t moved from her pillow for days. Her body felt oily, the idea of taking a shower too hard. 

I failed. I quit. That’s all she wanted to say. She just wanted to close her eyes for a moment and not see what haunted her mind. 

But if she really quit, what else would she do? Maybe she’d become a doctor, and try to save some lives for once. But why should she try to save people who rarely wish to be saved? Similarly, why was it in her DNA to see curses? Was it not non-sorcerers who should pay the price for their own doings? Should she need to watch yet another child die—

“Oi! Let us in, we’ve got take-out!” 

Satoru was the voice, and two smacks were heard, so that meant Shoko and Suguru were with him. 

But she couldn’t move a muscle. The blankets seemed to consume her, and she might’ve fought against it if she had any energy left to give. But her legs were made of cement and her stomach was filled with glue, sticking her insides together, and hindering her ability to feel her own legs. 

She didn’t want them to come in. She didn’t want them to see her like this. What would they think of her now? Her room was a mess, reflecting a fraction of what her mind was, and her bed looked like someone had fought a war in it. 

“We’re waiting! Hello,” Gojo drawled, voice almost like a melody through the door. 

She kept staring at the wall, curled into herself and breathing much too shallowly. 

“Suguru, you literally have a key. Use it.”

“For emergencies.”

“This is an emergency. I need to sit. My legs are numb,” he whined. Their voices were all muffled and she couldn’t really figure out if it was due to the door between them or how her ears were ringing. 

“Fine,” Suguru groaned, and she heard the sound of the key scraping against the keyhole before the door opened. 

“Your favourite people are here!” yelled Gojo. 

But it was so quiet. 

Her name was called out, or she thinks she heard it. But she didn’t move, only her back facing them. For a moment, she worried about the fresh scars on her back that couldn’t be healed fast enough, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. 

The bed dipped by her legs, and then a hand was placed on her knee over the blanket. The hand was warm, like a furnace under someone's skin, so it had to be Suguru. 

Her name was said again, and the bed dipped twice more—once by her head and lastly by her back. 

“What’s happened?” 

She didn’t speak, but she did start coughing. And then she spoke the first thing she’d spoken in days. “I—I’m gonna throw up,” she warned frantically, and within a second there was a metal bucket by her head where she’d shot up to sit. 

“Go away,” she cried between gags, but all that happened was Shoke pressing a wet towel to her neck and someone rubbing her back. “Please, j—just go away,” she cried, tears springing to her eyes when the gags turned to dry heaving. 

“Not right now,” Satoru said, unusually soft when he took the wet towel from Shoko to wipe around her mouth as she sat up. 

Without a word, Suguru took the bucket and disposed of it and it’s contents in the bathroom attached to her room, and then returned to kneel on the floor beside the bed. “We heard what happened.” 

It just made her cry harder, body so weak that she had to lean against Shoko behind her. “Then you should leave.” 

“Never,” Shoko finally said, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her head. 

The tears that fell from her eyes dripped onto her shirt, but she couldn’t seem to close her eyes from the onslaught. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Suguru promised. “Do they hurt?” She didn’t know what he meant, so she shook her head regardless. “Your back.” 

Oh. Right. The two slashes running across her lower back throbbed at the reminder of their existence. 

“A bit,” she said finally. “I feel… gross.” 

“Then do you want to shower?” 

“Y—yeah,” she said, but when she stood (disregarding that she was only clad in underwear and a t-shirt) her legs buckled beneath her, and she would have crashed to the floor had her three best friends not caught her. 

“Okay, I’m carrying you,” Satoru said, and no sooner than the words left his mouth was she in the air, not without yelling a bit. 

As they entered the bathroom, she realised what a conundrum she was in. Was she to strip naked? Or should she somehow hold herself up—

“Stop thinking so much,” Satoru chastised, and set her down on the closed toilet seat as Suguru and Shoko joined them. “Which one of you wants to? I would but—”

“Yeah, yeah, your six eyes and whatever,” Shoko grumbled, but it was Suguru who took whatever Satoru was holding.

“A blindfold?” she laughed suddenly, even though it tore up her throat to do so, and she lost her breath when Suguru tied it around his head and stood in the shower, arms open. 

“Won’t look. Just here to help,” he said. And then Satoru was guiding her into the shower, and taking Shoko out and closing the door, and then it was just her and Suguru. 

“Sugu,” she said softly. And then she was leaning forward, resting her head on his collarbone and just breathing him in as she reached behind him and turned the water on. She flinched at the coldness first, but leaned back anyway to take off her shirt. “Can’t get my underwear off,” she mumbled, and even with his gentleness of finding her hips and pulling them down, she couldn’t help but feel her face and neck warm. 

“We’ll take care of you.”

-

When Suguru clambered out of the bathroom with his soaking wet clothes to change, he also threw in an oversized shirt and underwear and pants, but as she yanked them on she noticed the smell—Gojo Satoru. 

She remembered, suddenly, buying them. They’d gone to a second-hand store, and Satoru had taken the biggest shirt he could find “just for funsies” and the softest pants, and then proceeded to never wear them. Shoko had complained and offered to take them, but Satoru refused, saying that someday he would want to wear them.

And now she was wearing them and tentatively stepping out of her bathroom to a very clean room. 

“Um—”

“I cleaned!” Satoru yelled. Shoko hit him in the shoulder, and walked towards her to guide both of them into her newly made bed. 

“I cleaned,” Shoko whispered, curling her body around her best friend’s. Then Satoru joined, flopping down next to Shoko whilst Suguru pressed his chest to her back. 

“I know.”

[keii-starz]

answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

1. I wish (no) 😔

2. I drink both!!! but I don't drink coffee that often, and when I do, it's only if it has milk and sugar in it! when I drink tea, I usually drink milk tea, or I add milk to my matcha tea, but sometimes I just drink regular tea!

3. DAYDREAM by HIGHLIGHT!!!

4. I sleep on my back, but I actually prefer sleeping on my side!! I just dont sleep on my side most of the time because I sleep with headphones on, and its kinda uncomfortable sleeping on my side with headphones on

5. yes!! my little teddy bear that I got from my bestie!!! I named him lucy

6. hmm I love both a lot, but I'd say drawing!

7. ummm it doesn't really matter for me but I'll say teo because of my blanket I've had since childhood (its too small to cover me now so ofc I have to use another blanket)

8. hmm for band, it'd be LUCY!!! (K-band) I think the violin in their music makes their songs sound even nicer! but my fav part is obv sangyeop's soft voice :3

but for artists in general...hmm there's quite a few, so I'll name them by language! 1. CRAVITY (korean boy group), ZICO (korean soloist, k-hiphop), COLDE (korean soloist, k-r&b), 2. yoh kamiyama (japanese), TUYU (japanese band), 3. jeremy zucker, suggi (english)

9. february 11!

14. sage green!!

15. autumn! not too cold or hot, and not as much bugs!

19. I do! we've been friends since 4th grade!

21. it was great!!! I had so much fun and got to eat a lot of good food!!

24. sometime last week, I think tuesday..I think it had smth to do with my insecurities or like. how I keep getting the feeling I'm not wanted

28. my mental and physical states both suck a ton, but since I've returned home for spring break, im trying to convince myself to not worry about anything and just think of this as a lil vacation just until this is over

31. im definitely looking forward to moving out of my mom's house or just not staying with my family in general...I want to get an apartment where I feel relaxed at when I turn into an adult

32. if I could go anywhere right now...I would probably go to my aunt's house in florida..tbh, I wouldn't say her cooking's (sorry auntie 😔) the best, but I'd probably feel way...calmer? there and less likely to cry so often

34. my favorite flower is the star of bethlehem!!! it's really really pretty!!! im pretty sure it's a poisonous flower tho lol

39. all the time 😊

42. I prefer cloudy days! sunny days are nice, but I don't like getting the sun in my eyes very much, plus the sky is prettier with clouds :3

44. 5 of my fav blogs: @azulashengrottospiano @dove-da-birb @twistwonderlanddevotee @alexisomnias @l7k-a

45. I have 2 siblings! an older brother and younger sister, who is the youngest, but if I didn't tell u this and you met us both irl, you'd probably think shes the older one based on height and personality lol

47. I would die for any of my friends in a heartbeat

48. music!!! I CANNOT go without my music I tell u!!!

49. nope!!! you see, my phone doesn't tell me my phone number, so I always have to ask other people what it is 😐 (my other phone did tho)

50. uhhh hmmm this one is really hard bcuz I don't think I know anyone irl who I can trust with my life but probably...no one..?

[starchild--27]

🎶✨️when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)🎶✨️

ahh thanks for this <3 but oh god it's so hard to name only 5 these days, i have a lot i listen to an equal amount these days so pls bear with me- xD

* Hear Me Out and Let Me In by EXO (who would have thought), also Alive by Lay

* Bouncy by Ateez and Hard by Shinee, also The Feeling by Shinee

* the entire 5 Star Album by Stray Kids

* Am I Dreaming by Metro Boomin, A$AP Rocky, Roisee (i loved Across The Spiderverse, what can i say-)

* blueblueseOul by OnlyOneOf and bunny by suggi, then summer and i swear i'll never leave again by keshi

* The One I Love and Low by R.E.M. also Every You Every Me by Placebo and Vandalize by One Ok Rock

+ honorable mention: Kingslayer by Bring Me The Horizon feat Babymetal

ajdhs hope that helped

(also tagging @guardians-of-exo bc i think you tagged me jn sth similar one of these days and i hadn't gotten to it yet ^^')

[priyastandon]

Bask in the Sun’s benevolence upwards and onwards

Benevolent Sankranti

Most of the festivals we celebrate are calculated in accordance with the Lunar calendar. Hence their dates are not fixed. However the Makar Sankranti festival is celebrated as per the Solar calendar and falls on January 14/15 every year. We offer obeisance to the Sun on Makar Sankranti. Why is that so? It seems that when man sought to find proof of God, he found it in the Sun. The Sun is said to be a Pratyaksh Devta because we can see it and feel its warmth and energy. We chant the Gayatri Mantra while praying on Makar Sankranti. Emulating the Sun’s benevolence towards all, we donate food, clothes, milk etc. The Sun doesn’t emit light for itself, plants don’t bear fruit for themselves … let us follow suit!

The Sun provides sustenance to all forms of life. It provides energy to plants for  photosynthesis. We get our food from the plants. So the Sun is an inexhaustible powerhouse of abundance and energy for all forms of life.

Makar Sankranti is considered most auspicious as it marks the upward movement of the Sun away from the Tropic of Capricorn; from the Southern Hemisphere, towards the Northern Hemisphere. It is also called Uttarayan i.e. the Sun moving towards Uttar Disha (North direction). It marks the entry of the Sun into Makar-Rashi i.e. Capricorn. This being the harvest festival in many states, the farmers celebrate their new crops and offer them to the Gods as thanksgiving and also share them with each other.

Makar Sankranti is also called Maghi, Bihu, Pongal, Shishur Saenkraat, Suggi Habba, etc. 

The celebrations vary slightly from state to state all over India. But they centre around prayers, feasting, dancing and singing. In the North, Makar Sankranti day is the day next after Lohri. We usually consume a lot of Til, Bhugga, Peanuts and Gacchak on Lohri as we huddle around a bonfire, sing and dance with family and friends. My mother would always make Chane ki dal ki khichdi and serve it with curd for breakfast on Maghi day. Til-Bhugga etc. generate a lot of heat in the body. And khichdi acts as a coolant thereafter!

This year being the International year of Millets, you can experiment with Bajre (pearl millet) ki khichdi which is definitely the yummiest khichdi in the world! Temper it with hot ghee and red chilli powder and have it with curd! Delicious!

In the run up to Makar Sankranti kite flying is another tradition. Besides the fun in flying kites, it compulsorily exposes us to the Sun. Having stayed indoors in the cold, foggy days of the North Indian winter, kite flying on a sunny Sankranti day is like applying balm on a wound! In the garb of culture and tradition, our health is also taken care of!

The best explanation of the word Lohri is Lo-Hari (Take Lord!), which translates to a prayer written by Sri Sathya Sai Baba, “Oh Lord! Take my Love and let it flow in fullness of devotion to Thee. Oh Lord! Take my hands and let them work incessantly for Thee. Oh Lord! Take my Soul and let it be merged in One with Thee. Oh Lord! Take my mind and thoughts, and let them be in tune with Thee. Oh Lord! Take my everything and let me be an Instrument for Thee.”

Our culture is designed such that after every few days/months there is a festival that brings an opportunity to celebrate life as well as thank God for His bounties and contemplate on the purpose of our Earthly sojourn.

The North is considered to be the direction of everything auspicious, so we celebrate the Sun journeying towards the North. Moving northwards means moving towards positive thoughts, good deeds etc. If man too starts moving towards thoughts of God, it amounts to the same thing. The real northward journey happens inside us!

What do you think? 

This article is published in Hindustan Times on 15.01.2023.

[kiryucutie]

AWW~! It’ll be like a little party!! Don’t worry suggi bear! I got an extra set of keys <33

If pinky is coming over so am I…

@sugiiis

WHAT?!

[lordgraceart]

Pidge doing what she does best. Being a gremlin

[0melancholy]

14/11/17

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

Absolutely lost in the sauce

[treycos-sugar-gliders]

Food thief

[bri-harris]

Phoebe in the ball pit.... my heart 😩

[shinysuggie]

Helllloooooooo!

[datglider]

Ithil says “Good morning.” Gili says: “G’night.. Zzzzz.” <3

[noodlehug-doodlebug]

Alert Doods

[croctears]

0243 hours.

tags ain’t working so i’m reposting it ):

 anyway, here’s a little something, i used two songs for reference if it was not obvious yet! soon you'll get better by taylor swift and bell's palsy by suggi were used. i hope you'd give them a listen, those pretty much summed up my experience in a better and much more interesting way.

tw// death

I wonder if You hear me.

Desperate people grasp at any shred of faith they could get their hands on, so each night now I pray to You. The orange pill bottles weren’t as divine as I thought, and I no longer had anyone to turn to. Mother said, You’re omnipresent, so can You hear me?

The window sill is a bitter place to be at this time, yet my chest warmed. Golden stardust sprinkled the velvet blue expanse, glittering with a promise of life in the darkness. It was oddly comforting, knowing that there were many other souls out there like myself; lost and grieving, my problems magnified and appearing minuscule in the universe at the same time.

I wonder if You see me.

I tell myself it was going to be okay, but I know delusion when I watch my empty eyes staring back from the reflection on the windowpane. I also know better than anyone else that pretending everything isn’t real isn’t the right way to cope, but could you blame me?

Where was I supposed to go? Who am I supposed to talk to?

What was I to do since there’s no more you?

You often said I’m selfish, maybe you’re correct. I like making things all about me. I tried most days, but on the others, I was just not able to bring myself to do anything. It’s been years of hoping, crying on our knees—will things even become normal again, if it ever was? I can’t remember a time like that anymore.

Dad, you liked your coffee black, right? I haven’t made a cup for you in such a while, when was the last time we sat together for breakfast?

I know you thought the hospital food is terrible. No matter how much you complained about your own cooking, I know you prefer them more. The pungent smell of steamed fish and white rice was enough to make me sick, but you never made a fuss.

The air conditioning was always too cold for your bony body. You were always shivering under the thin crisp blanket. I wanted to ask the nurse for more layers, but I never did. Was it cold too when He brought you back home?

God, I wonder if You can comfort me right now.

Dusk dragged on, the bare wooden window sill hurt my back. I didn’t want to go back to bed. There was so much left to think, to reflect. There was so much guilt and heaviness that went unresolved. I’m not sure if I could live on like this.

Tears don’t come easy to me, but wrath was simple. I lost my temper with you, always forgetting your limitless patience with me when I was a little girl. It never entered my mind when I changed your diapers, nor did it when I had to help you clean up.

I yelled, I screamed, I threw tantrums.

I’m sorry, you don’t have to forgive me.

I wonder if You can give me another chance at goodbye.

Maybe this time I’ll do it right. If I were to be completely honest, something that I’ve never been able to do in my entire eighteen years of leaving; the truth is I was never ashamed of you. I love you, and I wish I told you even once.

Dad, you lived for me. I should have too, in the last few years of your declining health. You were so strong, yet so fragile. I wish I saw through you earlier. I just wish I had been able to do something, anything.

But I never did.

I wonder if You would’ve let me die for him.

If only I had you for one more day, perhaps, just perhaps, I would be less numb than this.

If only you could’ve walked me down the aisle. If only you could’ve helped name your grandchildren you were always talking about. I’d always frown at the idea of marriage, but this once I’ll entertain it. Time doesn’t heal possibilities that could never be. How could it cure a heart broken from something it never experienced?

Words are as difficult for me as it was for you. I couldn’t even comprehend what my emotions were, I had to refer to songs to know myself. Was that why you listen to music so much? They say I’m a replica of you, dad. Did you not understand what you’re feeling too? Like me?

Maybe we would’ve been best friends if I only gave you an opportunity.

I wonder if this is a punishment from You.

Stars were no longer visible. I continued to look out from the window. The clock chimed thrice; it was 3A.M.

The phone call from the hospital had come around this hour too. I wanted to ignore it, what other news could it bear other than bad news?

Now that I chewed over that fateful day, I think I know why now.

I wasn’t ready to let you go. Death happened to everyone but I never thought of it at my father’s door so soon.

Even now, I think of you in white, under the covers at the government hospital.

They said you went away at 2:43.

I wonder if You hear me.

Prayer seems like the only thing to do. I could still hear the faint strums of your guitar, your voice raspy from cigarettes.

I wonder if You see me.

There was nothing to stare at outside, the sky was empty. Sombre. It was going to rain. It poured, an onslaught expressed beautifully by Him, something that even I couldn’t convey.

God, I wonder if You can comfort me right now.

Mother was right. You hear me. You see me. You’re even crying with me now.

I wonder if You can give me another chance at goodbye.

But I guess another chance was impossible. At least I’ll slowly come to terms with myself.

I wonder if You would’ve let me die for him.

If I can’t, then I’ll live on for you. Hopefully, more filial than when you were still here to see it.

I wonder if this is a punishment from You.

[aroseandapen]

oumaede for the kiss meme?

Fifty ways to kiss someone…

3. …goodbye

A spy au but with oumaede.

“Concert’s starting soon,” Kaede said, tapping her wrist as if there was a watch there.

Kokichi grinned, tucking his hands behind his head. “Looks like it’s showtime for me, too. Knock ‘em dead, Sweetcheeks.”

Kaede winced, shaking her head and laughing it off. “Please don’t.”

“What? But you already banned Suggy-Uggy-Bear...”

She leaned down to peck him on the lips, a quick kiss for luck, for farewell, and for shutting him up. “Forty-five minutes, ok? Be safe.”

His grin only widened. “Aw, but being safe’s no fun.”

“I mean it, or I’m not letting you use my concerts for a mission ever again,” Kaede warned him, though the hint of fondness in her tone diminished the effectiveness of her threat.

“Ok, ok, I get it. I’ll be the safest safe secret agent that could ever be safe. Happy, Sweet-gums?”

Kaede rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling despite her exasperation. “Yeah, good enough.”