#sugary thing and it fucked me up but idk if that’s possible?? but also

[ultravioletlesbian]

i realize now that actually i do get the pins and needles feeling in my head and my face sometimes and it’s just random no stress. and i only realized this bc today i got nauseous Right after eating something, followed immediately by my vision involuntarily going out of focus, followed by a pins and needles sensation building in the back of my head, and then hyperventilating 10 seconds later bc i realized the blurring and tingling wasn’t stopping and was getting worse. so that’s fun. (i’m fine)

[audinosaur]

aoba johsai <3 lover

hi here’s some songs from taylor swift’s lover album that i think match each seijoh pairing :)) 

iwaoi <3 lover

i mean c’mon

it’s IWAOI ofc they get the title track

“and you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me / and at every table, i’ll save you a seat” 

AHSJDJ it’s them !! they don’t even have to say anything, if there’s a chair open next to iwa/oiks, everyone automatically knows who it’s unofficially reserved for

“and i’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you”

^ i think this covers both oikawa’s natural jealousy as well as how iwaizumi’s watched time after time again as countless amounts of people crush on his tooru

just the term “lover” for them. i think it’s the word they’d use in the timeskip when describing their “secret relationship” during interviews, it reveals as little as possible about the “mystery person” while still properly communicating just how important they are :)

matsuhana <3 it’s nice to have a friend

makki and mattsun genuinely have no fucking clue how they got together, they just sorta slowly shifted from being friends and doing friend things to doing boyfriend things and being boyfriends

bc of this they just picked a random ass day as their anniversary and just rolled w it

matsuhana’s so interesting to me because they’re friends to lovers like iwaoi/kinkuni yet each of them is a different FLAVOR of friends to lovers that i can’t quite explain but i love em

“something gave you the nerve / to touch my hand”

THEY!! YES! doing all their coupley shit all the while saying “it’s nice to have a friend” even though they both realize it’s faded into something much more

“twenty questions, we tell the truth” idk they just seem like they’ve never lied to each other before bc they’ve never had any reason to hide what they’re feeling

kyouhaba <3 afterglow

*deep inhale* OKAY there’s a LOT !

it should be noted that literally so fucking many of the other songs fit them but i want something slightly kinda happy pls :’)

i really love this song and it’s portrayal of arguing w your loved one and then taking the time afterwards to apologize and take accountability 

and there are so so many kyouhaba fics where they fight and then make amends (although i still think there should be even MORE)

i just love them having so many feelings and not enough ways to deal w them and the vulnerability when they own up to their mistakes and AAHHHHHHHH

“i don’t wanna do this to you / i don’t wanna lose this with you” and “hey, it’s all me, just don’t go” 

(^ examples of them being VULNERABLE AND OPEN)

also “tell me that you’re still mine / tell me that we’ll be just fine / even when i lose my mind”

i am normal about them! (lie)

side note i like how when perusing the seijoh couples gallery you just see “childhood friends to lovers!”, “best friends to lovers!”, “pals to lovers!”, then you turn the corner and see the most aggressive, tension-fueled enemies(?) to lovers pairing you’ve ever seen for no goddamn rhyme or reason

kinkuni <3 paper rings 

paper rings has a childlike whimsy that suits kindaichi & kunimi’s relationship perfectly 

half of the lyrics seem like things kindaichi would say to kunimi w full earnesty too

“i’m with you even if it makes me blue” and “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” !!!

(kunimi calls it “corny”, kindaichi calls it “romantic”, both with dumbass, lovestruck smiles on their faces)

“i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this” is 100% kunimi though, he doesn’t like surprises and events that require him to exert extra effort, but for kindaichi? he’s more than okay with it

the whole song is just so sugary sweet and shamelessly adorable and at the end of the day that’s what kinkuni is! (at least behind closed doors, bc they get embarrassed sometimes)

and bc i can’t leave my boy out, it should be noted that watari shinji is a red man to his very CORE. you bet your ass on his twenty-second birthday he was blasting 22 like his life depends on it

[fearevillikefire]

u wont ever catch me overconsuming lmfao. i still regret purchasing a couple tshirts for $20 7 years ago. although... i do go a little hard when it comes to gifts. but that's just because i love everyone and i'm generous. anyways i bought a suit today for a job interview and that was a big purchase. first 1 i've made in a while. but necessary. anyways my point is i'm not someone who ever ever 'gets a little treat' or whatever the fuck, i don't really understand what that means, afaik it means starbucks but dude, boycott that shit anyway. i really hate iced coffee lmfao and that's one thing i will NEVER, ever, ever give a fair shot to. because imo the only reason im not fat asf is because i don't ever drink sugary drinks, except some sparkling cider once in a while. so i must preserve my health. but yeah my point is that i will be a consumer as little as possible. my collection habits are exceedingly inexpensive, unless i'm purchasing art which is rare for me currently. although i can see a wealthier, grown version of myself becoming an art collector. damnit. i'll probably be pretty rich when i'm old tbh... cause i won't have had any kids to provide for :( i hope i can have kids somehow in my future... my life would be so full of meaning then. my current hope is to marry someone who is already a parent & separated from their baby daddy/mama. it's common, so i think it could happen. i think that's a lot more ethical than adopting a kid given up by their parents for whatever reason. and i fear getting into foster care because i know it's very difficult, and takes a bigger space in your life than having a kid normally for less 'family connection' i guess. although it would be a good thing for me to do for those kids. i just dunno if i wanna put my whole life into that, i currently have no plans to. it really sucks being transgender because i know there's not really a feasible way for me to have a biological kid without me being pregnant which isn't something i'm willing to go through even in order to have a kid. i gotta say, that's definitely one regard where transgender women have a serious advantage.. they can still have kids without pretty extreme personal sacrifice, at least with cis women, or i guess a trans man lmfao. but anyways i also don't think it's a good idea for me to ever have a kid biologically cause they'd probably be unhealthy, since T causes issues with offspring i think. but anyways i'm just hoping to marry a milf who's baby daddy is out of the picture.. yes i know that's not like a situation u can just get, love would come first, but i'm just saying that would really work out for me. Or tbh i haven't thought about this before, but if i just marry a woman, she could have a baby using a sperm donor and i'd basically be the dad... that sounds awesome although i don't know how you'd explain that to a kid without lying to them lmfao. i'm sure it's perfectly possible and fine. anyways i obviously have the same evolutionary urge as everyone else to pass down my genes, i just have no idea how i'd do it lol, and it's not logically important to me. i just think about my family and how i would hate to have the line end here, basically. but my cousins and even my sister will probably have kids since they're straight. if my sister has kids i'll be so, so happy since we're of course 50% the same person, but the pressure would be off of me to give my mom grandkids. idk why i never thought of the sperm donor idea before, that sounds so good. i'm pretty glad to be bisexual because i can marry a man or a woman & have the different options for having a kid. if i do marry a man, i could probably have a surrogate- i have a friend or two who might even be up for the job. that actually could be super super cool, having a surrogate i mean. Well anyways i hope i can meet the right person in my future to start a family with, or even join a family already existing. i just wanna have kids lolll i would be an awesome parent and my mom would be so happy and proud if i had grandkids for her, biological or not.

[toxicshipsincorporated]

potn anon again: part of me is curious about it because I feel like the themes are not as bad as I think they would be (I tend to imagine the worst scenarios possible).

also, I think the characters are pretty. (★ ω ★)

if I do pick it up, I'll probably read one chapter a week or so, just to gauge how I feel about it (and I'm very guilty of finishing something I don't like just because I started it. I often choose to not watch/read new things because I'm afraid of the commitment). Though I don't know when that's gonna happen; getting into new stuff in general is very difficult for me. Feels like a Major Life Decision™ every time.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. :D

I will say that its definitely........according to taste tbh. as someone who likes darker fiction, potn is downright sugary fluff to me. So I think if you're someone who does like darker fiction, potn won't be too bad. I think the hardest part about it that would generally disturb people is the steep power imbalance between Seungho and Nakyum and how that's constantly in play and results in some reeeeeeal dubious moments.

fully??? like I am so shallow when it comes to how pretty the art in a manga/hwa/hua is. if the art is pretty, I will usually give a work far more leeway than I would if I didn't like the art. Byeonduck is CRAZY talented. Their art is so incredibly clean and pretty and detailed.

seungho is......a hot slut. lemme tell you. that mans vibes??? rotted, nasty, moldy, WACK...but his look???? his bod??? immaculate.

and nakyum is just so darn adorable. and sometimes very funny?? actually they both can be kinda funny. I think what I like about potn is that there are some genuinely funny moments put in there as well and Byeonduck themselves seems pretty funny.

but yeah! if you ever do pick it up, feel free to come talk to me about it cuz no one in my circle wants to read it T_T

spoilers under the cut if you don't mind those but some of my thoughts on what I like or appreciate about the series and why it isn't all that dark for me, personally.

I think one thing that really lightens up the darker aspects and more dubious consent moments is how genuine Seungho's feelings seem for Nakyum. He struggles a lot with accepting and then expressing those feelings which leads to him doing some pretty.......fucked up stuff.

As for Nakyum (or...Na-kyum??? idk i've seen it done both ways) I think it can be difficult because he....clearly does not consent to some of their sexual interactions. He's manipulated and Seungho threatens and hurts him but I think Na-kyum is also miserable before he met Seungho as well. Which....isn't me saying anything about real life but I think the reason why I understand Nakyum's whole narrative is because he too is struggling with understanding his sexuality and his desires and while his relationship with Seungho is definitely.....fucked up at first, I think he eventually finds a lot of....acceptance? and a level of sexual freedom and eventually it seems like he gets the chance to feel desired and gets to face his sexual desires without feeling ashamed of them.

[bigskydreaming]

About all the stuff you were talking about, do you know any fics that handle those things well? It is exhausting trying to go through the Dick Grayson tag to try and find ones that handle even one of those remotely well so any you can tell me would be wonderful.

I use my Bookmarks page as a go-to for people looking for that sorta thing. I haven’t added to it in awhlie which is like, a useful reminder for myself to rectify that.

I’m not sure off the top of my head what fics on there address these particular areas of canon or fanon issues, but they’re in there, and I don’t bookmark anything I wouldn’t reread since that’s....the only reason I bookmark stuff lol. Aka nothing that contains elements or fanon tropes/issues that would’ve pulled me out of the read on the first go-through.

Specific authors who I consistently like for their takes on all of that, hmmm....off the top of my head, @dustorange only deals in Quality Stuff and her Hierarchy of Needs for Dick’s characterization has similar enough rankings to my own personal one, that I’m always like, yes, this hit all the beats I was hoping for from this summary, I am full, I could not eat another bite. But maybe a dessert course later. I guess. If you insist.

In terms of specific takes and tropes I’ve been talking about tonight, @themessofthecentury has a fic that delves into all the Spyral aftermath in a really satisfying way. Y’ever been like, ugh can someone please write a lengthy beast of a multi-chapter that takes all of that and says ‘Lo, there is Gold in these hills” and has a range of POVs but that all consistently prioritize and center Dick in the areas and matters he should be the one prioritized? That’s the one, that’s Fault Lines, its a WIP but its alive and kicking and very much what you’re looking for to read something actually catharctic after the way all of that was handled in canon and most related fics.

Umm, lessee.... @hood-ex is all about Top Notch Tropes, especially for great scenes where Dick’s with a wide range of characters, and its like, casual slice-of-life stuff, but delivered in a way that Just Says No to fanon and even when writing Dick as light-hearted and having a good day, its like...actually in character for him and he’s not Dick Grayson, The Balloon Animal That Walks Like A Man (but is actually 70% sugary cereal). You gotta follow her on tumblr though to get all the fics, cuz she’s like me in that she writes a lot of done-in-one scenes that never get moved over to Ao3 because eh, we’ll do it tomorrow but also we’ll forget about it by tonight so no actually we won’t. And thus there’s a lot of hidden gems to be found there.

@ckbookish writes a lot of stuff set in the early Nightwing days when Jason was Robin, and from what I’ve read there’s a lot of focus on Dick and Jason bonding and also exploration of Dick’s thoughts and reactions to Bruce’s “Bruce NO” behavior of that era that’s very much in character and IMO hits all the right notes in the complicated arrangement of allowing Dick his Feels there and placing the appropriate blame where appropriate but without demonizing Bruce and over-embellishing the more than enough to work with fuck-ups canon helpfully provided for that era. 

In fact, in general I’m inclined to say the author sticks as closely to canon as possible while just....making it better by just adding the little ingredient that is ‘Actual Exploration of Dick’s Feelings and Choices As Viewed Through Empathy-Colored Glasses By Someone Who I Feel Actually HAS Met or Been A Teenager At Some Point in Their Life and Thus Is Aware They’re Not Actually Unreasonable Wild Animals Whose Behavior Even When Rational Is Actually Irrational Cuz Hormones Yeah I Know I Was Surprised Too’. So I’d say their work consistenly delivers the story and emotional beats I look for from Bruce, Dick and Jason in that era, actually humanizing all three of them without going overboard with adding flaws all willy-nilly just cuz.

The only reason its not on my bookmarks page is cuz unfortunately, the sticking close to canon means Dick joining the Bludhaven police force to try and clean it up from the inside, and like.....not a criticism or condemnation of the execution of that premise at all, like, Dick’s clear in his reasons and from what I read goes about it in a way that actually fits if Dick had criticisms of the institution as a whole and an earnest belief he can effect change to it from the inside, its just like, purely as a personal subjectivity thing, Dick Grayson and Being a Cop is like my ultimate NOTP, I see it and I reflexively hiss like a vampire who forgot the sun was a thing. Its just not for me in any execution, but if that’s not true for you then its got everything else I’d look for in fic and thus while I can’t vouch for his characterization or the dynamics in later stories, like, I’m pretty sure you’d still be in Primo Characterization territory. 

There’s stuff on my bookmarks page from an author named discowing(amelia from a fairytale) - something like that. I can’t recall their tumblr off the top of my head but I know she says it somewhere in some of her author’s notes. Anyway, her stuff runs the gamut but consistently delivers on moments I really wish we could see in canon, so def worth a read. And I know her views on the Spyral aftermath and what’s needed for actual catharsis there are right in my wheelhouse, just in general, so if that’s the barometer you’re going by, then like.....idk whatever a barometer says or does when it gets the readings its supposed to, look its late, that’s the metaphor I’m going with, just pretend it was solid.

Those are just some of the authors where I’m familiar with more than one of their works off the top of my head and tend to like their focus and narrative/character choices across the board. I don’t know the full extent of work of every author linked on my Bookmarks page, like a lot of people write a lot of fic in a lot of fandom and I see a long list of fandoms and fics all organized by date posted so its more like one DC fic per page, and my ADHD self is like hahaha what if it was naptime tho zzzz.

But yeah, that’s not nearly enough to sate my greed and want for Good Dick Grayson Takes but it should get you started. There’s some good stuff out there, that’s never been in question, its just that like you said, it can be exhausting trying to wade through fics that you can’t tell at a glance if they’d be to your liking or not because the tags are all complimentary of Dick but two chapters in you’re like wait is this the other kids’ brother or is this their nanny, I feel like I’m reading about what if Fran Drescher wore tights and fought crime with flippity-flips. Which I mean, that’s a Premise right there, alright, its just not remotely the premise I look for out of fic where I have the weird expectation that Dick should be treated and regarded more like equal family to his siblings than like, okay what if he was actually just an au pair that was mostly hired to be eye candy.

[fekst-fucker]

Not me sending a bunch a asks for the girls cuz no one really does them. But. Headcannons for them? Can be about anything!

I hope you don’t mind that I saved Judge Angel and Nurse Ann for this post, I’ve never written for them so I wanted to flesh out their characters :)

Jane the Killer

- Mom friend of the group

- In like, a detached, cool biker mom way

- She likes coffee and tea equally! She’s just not a huge fan of anything super sweet, she’d prefer to have a piece of cake instead of a sugary drink

- She speaks a little French, I think. She probably learned it in high school and is still studying it casually

- She and Nina don’t get along too well but she’s still very protective and watchful over her regardless

- I know I’ve mentioned this before but she ALWAYS has shit-talking sessions with Tim and sometimes EJ. They have a lot of steam to blow off

- Her Vespa is orange :)

- She hates supernatural horror, but is a big fan of suspense or murder films, if they’re done tactfully and not too gory. She sees enough blood in her line of work

- The one exception is the movie The Autopsy of Jane Doe. She really sympathizes with the girl in it

Clockwork

- Does this woman every brush her hair

- Yes but it sticks out in every possible angle, she cuts it herself and tried to give it “layers” but it literally looks like choppy anime hair

- She does wear an eyepatch when she goes out, and she doesn’t just discretely shy away from people staring at it, she’s ready to pick a fucking fight

- Drinks black coffee with a ton of simple syrup. Iced. She’s gay

- She dreams of having a steampunk aesthetic but it’s way too impractical. She tries to brush it off as “nah that was just a stupid middle school dream”

- She doesn’t speak any other languages, though she has picked up some ASL from Brian. EJ kinda scares her so she doesn’t interact with him much but since she started trying to sign to him their friendship has really blossomed

- Her shoes cycle between beat up tennis shoes and clunky Wolverine work boots. There’s no inbetween

Judge Angel

- Never talks to anybody. Keeps her head down and lips sealed. It’s not a huge loss, no one’s exactly itching to talk to her, either

- And the hood she wears is always covering her eyes, nobody has ever seen them. They’re kind of afraid of what would happen if they did

- She doesn’t really live at Slender mansion. She has a very secluded cabin a couple miles off, and the interior is very well decorated and surprisingly warm. Lots of those white tiny minimalist deer statues

- She always carries her sword in a hilt on her hip, it’s mostly for show. She’s powerful enough to not need to use it against any of the other creeps

- A nasty habit of hers is scaring the demons at the mansion. It’s 100% intentional and it’s a very bitchy thing to do

- EJ, Dark, Kageko, and even Zalgo hate her

- She doesn’t really have any hobbies besides fighting and tearing shit up. Maybe reading criminal justice novels in her little cabin

- She respects three people at the mansion. Slender, Tim, and, for some reason, Ben

- She’s a little bit of a pick me girl tbh

Nurse Ann

- I know she’s supposed to be cruel and demented and sadistic but that’s tired. What’s wired is that was a temporary state that demons and the undead get sent into, for a couple months max, and now she’s back to her pretty calm, timid self

- Maybe a little less timid now that she kills people, but she’s still very reserved, soft-spoken, and sweet

- She’s best friends with EJ. Quiet? Medical students? Undead? Oh babey

- Don’t get me wrong, she was a couple years older than he was when they both died, so she thinks of him more as a student or peer

- She loves to read. Anything and everything. Romance and typical textbooks are her favorites, she loves to learn

- Prefers just a cup of tea. She has a nice collection of teacups and saucers in her room

- She does speak a little bit of Spanish, she learned it to better communicate with her patients. She’s still kicking herself for never learning Mandarin or Punjabi, but it’s never too late to start!

Nina the Killer

- Idk why but I’ve always thought of Nina as Hispanic

- So she can speak Spanish, and I think she probably speaks a Dominican or another very quick dialect when she does

- She’s not very good at cooking, and it really upsets her, because she does miss her traditional meals from home

- So, even though she pisses Tim off, they team up and she tells him how to make stuff like tamales, tacos, sopa, maybe empanadas, plantains, stuff like that

- She’s an incredibly picky eater, actually. Tim is secretly honored that she eats his food

- Queen of scene! She has NEVER given up her scene aesthetic, being bullied never even phased her

- When she puts lipstick or anything on, she puts it all the way up the slits in her cheeks lmfao

- She’s tried the e-girl aesthetic a couple times, it doesn’t go nearly as hard as scene so she kinda gave it up

- She’s awful at gaming but still loves it, she plays with Ben and Jeff and even though they obliterate her she has a great time

- She’s the one that gets the snacks and refreshments, during gaming and during movie night

- She goes out into public without any like disguise on. People assume the silts are just SFX or a hardcore part of her aesthetic

- She is NOT as obsessed with Jeff now! She’s a little more grown, plus there’s wayyyy hotter people at the mansion

Honorable mention for Sally:

- Likes choccy milk :)

- Will ONLY be babysat by EJ or Slender. Everyone else is very upset about this

- She watches Sesame Street in the living room and everyone just kinda… watches with her

- She’s very glad everybody is participating with her, she may be a ghost child but she still needs enrichment!!

- Loves to help bread stuff whenever Tim deep fries food, he nearly has a heart attack letting such a small child near boiling oil but he’s responsible

- She doesn’t like soda because it hurts to drink

- Doesn’t need to be tucked into bed or be read a bedtime story but she does need a lil nightlight

- Usually ends up scampering off to spend the night in someone else’s bed if the power is off

- She and Nina are buddies :)

- She and Ben are also buddies, he lets her play video games with him with the controller plugged in cause he’s not a meanie like Jeff

[mc-dude]

gabe hc

im making a list of gabe hc that i have thought of in the past few days for future reference if i ever start to write some gabe fics or somethin

gabe’s go-to order at starbucks (which im assuming will survive into the year 2050 bc.. y’know.. coffee is eternal) is pumpkin spice latte during the fall, green tea latte the rest of the year. he likes his fukin sugary drinks and when someone tells him they thought he would like black coffee like all those soldier types he sips on his latte and raises an eyebrow and deadpans ‘that’s racist’

ive embraced the fandom hc that gabe is always cold. im from cali and am also always cold. my anecdotal evidence is pilin up. beneath his wrinkled faded motorhead hoodie is another, equally faded and wrinkled band hoodie. when jack wants him to get naked it takes him like 10 minutes to get all the layers off

wears his beanie partially bc his ears are cold but mostly because he just doesn’t have the gotdamn time to fix his hair in the morning so he just shoves a beanie on his head and calls it a day. on the rare occasion where he has the time to style his hair people are Stunned

gabe is a super sarcastic asshole but will only joke around with you if he trusts you, which leads to a lot of scenarios where someone tries to shittalk with gabe and he just turns to them very slowly and menacingly ‘.. what did you say’ ‘i- i didn’t-’ ‘... im just fucking with u lol’

doesn’t like being called gabe unless its from people that he knows really well. ‘that’s sir to u’

the longest HC i have which i was gonna write as a fic but probably never will is that gabe wasn’t actually bitter abt jack getting command of overwatch over him, in fact he was kind of relieved because he hates being in the spotlight. he’s proud of his boo and lets him know it all the time when jack’s feeling insecure. i hc (and theorize) that the most likely scenario to turn gabe against jack was talon infiltration overwatch from the beginning.

it starts off with just little things- scheduling changes so gabe is cut off from his team he had during the omnic crisis. talon basically chooses him as the greatest potential asset and tries to prey on his insecurities as much as possible to turn him against jack (who is his life partner & love so it’s gonna take a while)

moira was a plant by talon from the get-go whose mission was to try and corrupt gabe and isolate him as much as possible. mccree and genji sort of stave off the isolation for a while but being separated from jack, ana, reinhardt & co really starts to weigh on him. his insecurities start to spring back up– they’re all too busy for him, they got better shit to be doing than to come see how their old commander is doing, etc. :( it’s exactly what talon wants; him to feel isolated, to start feeling a little bit bitter. they can foster that bitterness into what they need.

there’s a mission where mccree loses his arm (he was only 19) and gabe takes it really hard– he blames himself, wishes he could have been faster, stronger etc. moira uses this opportunity to introduce the possibility of genetic experimentation, tells him with her unorthodox methods he could be faster, could better protect his team and the people he cares about.

gabe thinks about it for a long time, and he really wants to ask jack what he thinks but he hasn’t talked to jack for a long time–he’s been stationed out in god knows where for months. he doesn’t have anyone to confide in, doesn’t want to burden anyone when he’s such a failure, so he accepts. this gives talon direct access to mold gabe however they want.

he degenerates slowly over time, becoming more and more of a ‘monster’ in his eyes but it’s all worth it for him because no one else has gotten hurt on his watch, just him. he’s pleased with the results in terms of efficiency and allows moira to keep on doing her experiments. he reasons that if SEP and the omnic crisis didn’t kill him, a few little experiments won’t either. he hides his new abilities from jack and the rest of his friends because he doesn’t want them to see him like this.

after a year or two of genetic altering the widowmaker incident occurs. talon has gained the ability to completely brainwash someone and remold them to how they like. widowmaker was a test, one that succeeded, and gabe is the final target.

all the meanwhile moira is saying tiny things, just little mentions like ‘looking a bit monstrous today, aren’t we?’ to get it in gabe’s head, to make him think he’s a monster. it starts to work. during her sessions she introduces phase 2 of his genetic altering, which includes, unbeknownst to gabe, the start of a long brainwashing regime prescribed by talon. they don’t want to do it all at once, they want to keep overwatch functioning in their best interests for as long as possible

he begins to lose things-- he’ll find himself standing somewhere he doesn’t remember going, doing something he doesn’t remember starting, and it freaks him out. he thinks it’s a side effect of his genetic altering and confronts moira, who feigns concern and promises to figure it out. little does gabe know but moira is being funded on the side by talon during all of this on the condition that gabe be delivered when he’s ready to work under talon.

gabe becomes more paranoid the longer the momentary lapses in his memory goes on. he feel like he needs help but none of his friends call him, no one checks on him. he’s been purposefully isolated from everyone and the walls start to close in around him. he hates what he’s become, finds himself ghosting as a bunch of particles more often, finds it harder to keep his form.

one defining moment is when he goes to speak to jack after not remembering the last few hours and waking up in a panic. he has to tell him that something’s wrong. but jack has a meeting, he promises they’ll talk afterwards, says he misses him, etc. and walks away, right when gabe needed him the most. gabe realises that he’s alone.

he knows talon is planning something. they’ve been increasing their presence lately and he knows they have an informer somewhere in overwatch. he doesn’t suspect his team because he trusts them; they’ve been here for so long, it couldn’t possibly be them. he gets a nagging sensation that something big is about to happen, something is going to go Down- has some half-remembered dream of someone planning something (which is a memory from a talon meeting he attended when he was in a brainwashing episode) and so he sends genji and mccree away on some bullshit mission; it’s the only thing he can do. he tries to see jack one more time but he’s not due back until tomorrow.

talon brainwashes him into planting the bomb in the swiss hq. they recover him from the carnage, brainwash him into thinking that it was mercy who did this to him and not moira (which explains all of his voice lines in game); that overwatch left him to die alone and forgotten. that jack was against him. he’s lost everything and everyone, and he works with talon willingly, memories of his past life almost forgotten but still there, like some half-remembered dream.

ITS ALL VERY TRAGIC OKAY BASICALLY gabe really needed help but talon made is so that he was completely isolated from all of his support while simultaneously turning him into a vapeman

gabe family HC:

gabe has 3 sisters. idk why this is widely accepted as canon in fandom but i like it so i accept it in my heart. he would die for all of them and would sew them shit all the time back at home. his dad died when he was young and his mom and grandmother raised him while he helped to raise his sisters.

this also makes me have feelings for that christmas comic where gabe is stalking that family in the rain because in my mind he’s vaguely remembering some sort of family but can’t remember the specifics and it makes his heart ache

gabe was part of the theatre club in high school and always hung out at the skatepark doing tricks on his shitty 2nd-hand bmx bike

gabe joined the military so that they would pay for his college. he majored in design, but decided to stay in the military after because he realises that he’s good at what he does and he can make a difference. he gets promoted quickly bc of his tactical genius and is quickly nominated for SEP. he accepts because of the war he can see brewing and the shitstorm he knows is about to come. he hates being separated from his family and not being able to contact them

gonna add more later when i think abt them

[herdustisverypretty]

AND ANOTHER TAG THING {warning: strong and possibly strange opinions, LONG ASS RAMBLES (which most definitely include strong and possibly strange opinions), frequent oversharing}

tagged by the lovely Angel <3

1. If you could go backward in time, what would you do first? #2008 Log- Don’t pretend to not be bothered by HC and co’s behaviour and actually call them out on their shit. Note to self: You don’t owe anyone anything. #2009-2014 Log- Start homeschooling earlier. Maybe actually tell people how you felt too? You might have gotten a diagnosis, and thus the treatment that has drastically improved your life, sooner and you’d probably have a lot less scars. Maybe none. And also might not be immune to the effect of regular painkillers. Also maybe then you’d be able to just get said painkillers from the cupboard where they used to be instead of having to ask your mother permission on whether you can have some- at age 22- and having to swallow them there to prove you’re not hoarding them for later (cause that’s right, you did that once, ya dumb little bastard). #2012-2013 Log aka You STILL don’t owe anyone anything- Also do not engage with HS AT ALL. Just nip that one right in the bud. Don’t even go there. PTSD ain’t fun. Also do not allow HC to worm their way back in later. PTSD still ain’t fun.  Though then you probably wouldn’t have written that one VIXX story and not only was writing that story enjoyable (sometimes???? ... maybe?????????), that story did also apparently help a lot of people too...so... maybe don’t fix yourself for the sake of those people who told you your writing helped them through a lot of their own shit. **Particularly never forget the one person who said they hadn’t cried themselves to sleep a night since finding your story. Taking that back from someone is not a nice idea.  LOTS OF SHIT THAT BASICALLY MEANS: stop trying to kill yourself, dumbass. people aren’t lying when they say things get better. well, somewhat. also don’t let people take advantage of and abuse you. or maybe do a bit. because your suffering has helped others and that’s all that really matters right? BUT JUST A BIT. definitely not all of it cause that was Shite. 

2. Conversely, if you could go forward in time, what would you want to see? Dumb men (I was going to say ‘straight, white, cis, American’ men but realised I’ve seen other types of men also being equally idiotic, SO I GUESS JUST MEN) being deleted from all youtube comments please. Also maybe shut down tumblr. I think we’d all benefit from that tbh. Also while I’m at it, can we have a game similar to Pokemon GO but instead of catching Pokemon you catch hot anime bishies. Get exercise and also get five thousand hot boyfriends :D Also retaining the nickname feature. Because that’ll be entertaining. 

3. What’s your favorite word and why? I’ve always been fond of kerfuffle. It just sounds so cute and happy. A kawaii way to say you fucked someone’s shit up. Petrichor is also a DAMN FINE word. It sounds satisfying and the meaning is EVEN MORE SATISFYING. 

4. Hot chocolate with milk or with water? Toppings? Marshmallows? It tastes better with milk, but as I at times have more than 3 a day (since I don’t drink coffee and need caffeine), if I plan to have more than 2 I will make them with water. I believe I have already stated my opinion on marshmallows as well lmao. 

5. If you could change one thing about your favorite fandom, what would it be? Tbh delete all appreciation for my absolute NOTP. And no, I don’t actually mean Akashi/Furihata like most other Akashi/Kuroko shippers; I occasionally state I don’t particularly care for that ship, but I tend to just ignore it and its existence for the most part. Whereas my actual ‘I FUCKING HATE THIS’ ship, NOPE I WANT THAT OBLITERATED> DELETE ITS EXISTENCE. WIPE IT CLEAN OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. This can also be said to apply to one particular person in said ‘FUCK NO’ NOTP. I have frequently expressed my disdain for this character, I do not make it a secret, so it should be no leap to assume who, and which ship, I’m talking about here. 

6. You now have the ability to permanently alter one character from any fandom. Who do you pick, and what do you change? -Lmao. Okay. Well, I’ll name some names after all then, shall I?  -Can I just. Completely erase Momoi’s existence from KnB entirely? Jfc I cannot fucking stand her one bit. The only redeeming quality of her very 2D, bland, and at times downright offensive character, is her desire for the GoM to be friends again. And I could live without that somewhat nice sentiment if it meant the remaining 99.9% of her shittiness was gone. I will never like her. -I can occasionally stand her in fanfiction if she does’t have a major appearance, and also if she’s not being monumentally annoying. And even then I don’t feel any issues with killing her off due to dislike of her canon characterisation. I could literally care less what happens to her. Harsh, maybe, but I personally feel she brings nothing of value to this series, and tbh it would be far better, and certainly less cringey, without her.  -I have essentially been awake for 3 days so this is probably said with much less delicacy than I would normally use, though regardless of insomnia-induced aggression levels, the base feeling is the same. 

7. What is your philosophy on life? (Is it pointless, is it meaningful, is it what you make it, etc…) I honestly don’t care about things such as ‘the meaning of life’. We’re never going to know who put us here, if anything did, or what we’re meant to do, if there is anything, or why we are here at all. Just do whatever you want. Everyone’s going to die and the sun will turn into a black hole and swallow the earth and the universe will ultimately end in a rather unpleasant manner anyway. As long as you’re not harming anyone’s way of life, do what ever you want I could care less.  (that got kinda dark... I guess that’s what happens when people ask philosophical questions)

8. Would you consider getting a tattoo? If you would, what would it be and where would you put it? -Well the first tattoo I ever planned on getting (decided upon when I was 15), and the one I still want to be my first, is my recently passed dog’s pawprint tattooed on my left wrist; where I used to frequently self harm. The original idea was to get a tattoo of something meaningful there that would remind me every time I went to hurt myself that there’s still reasons for living. I stopped self harming around the same time my dog died in 2015, and even though I didn’t really need the reminder to not hurt myself in that way, I decided that getting his pawprint (which I was given a print of when he passed) would be especially nice, and would serve as a reminder of things I survived, and should I ever need a reminder in the future. My plan is now to get his paw on my left wrist (where the majority of damage was done, as he was my first pet), and when my cat also passes (hopefully not for a while still), I will get her pawprint on my right wrist.  -In less meaningful directions, I’ve also wanted the Grey Warden’s emblem tattooed on me for the longest time. I’m thinking thigh in terms of placement. idek what it is about them, or about the DA series in general. I mean, being a Grey Warden is arguably (is it tho) kind of a shitty thing?? You don’t really want to aspire to that if you enjoy, idk, LIFE? But their tagline of ‘In war, Victory; In Peace, Vigilance; In Death, Sacrifice’ IDK BUT IT JUST GOT ME.

9. What’s your favorite headcanon? (Could be your own or someone else’s) Shit, I have A LOT. *These are all mine as well! (mostly lol) -One that I’m still fond of is the hc that Kuroko becomes sleepy after eating a lot (particularly sugary things) which is one reason he eats quite lightly, and that the GoM during Teikou would always be attempting to overfeed him because they thought it was adorable when he curled up in their laps and went to sleep.  -Another I came up with is Akashi not being allowed to play videogames (and probably also not watch much TV) after his mother died. Thus, the GoM (and later Rakuzan regulars, YES YOU TOO MAYU WITH UR LOVE LIVE RHYTHM GAMES) would bring in their DSs and PSPs to school to let him play them as a much needed break from all the pressure being put on him.  -Ideas conceived with 6ubblegum earlier such as Masaomi actually having an unrequited interest in Kuroko’s dad when they were younger, and obviously him becoming quite upset when Kuroko’s dad married Kuroko’s mother. We also came up with the idea that Masaomi and Shiori’s marriage was arranged by their parents for mutual family benefits and that the pair never cared much for each other, and also that Shiori was aro (also I angstily suggested ‘imagine her crying under her veil as she walked down the aisle tho’). Then I also suggested the idea of what if Shiori and Kuroko’s mother were friends, going on playdates with their sons (and also the humorous idea of them putting baby Akashi+Kuroko in matching dresses). So in the end, Masaomi has never been much interested in his own son, and the only person who cared about Akashi truly was his mother, who is now gone. Also Masaomi becoming understandably VERY opposed when Akashi begins dating Kuroko in school.  -Anything involving mentally ill GoM + others (though a chunk of these aren’t even headcanons and more: I am 100% convinced these characters actually have these conditions). Especially fond of self-harmer Akashi.  -Also literally any hc where any particular character is either aro, ace, or both. I reeaaaally love ace Kise actually.  -AGENDER REO!!!!! -I’ll end it with a somewhat nsfw one. The shameless guilty pleasure with 6ubble of Kise and Kuroko being known as the sluts of the Teikou. They’ve definitely boned all the regulars (including NIji) at least once. Probably more. definitely more

10. Do humans have souls? Do animals? I’ve been awake far too long for these kinds of questions XD UHHH in my personal belief I’ve always maintained the idea that all living creatures (this includes humans, as humans are primates) have a sort of.. living energy?? My belief is that once a creature dies, of its lifeforce/energy/soul/the magic keeping it alive/whatever you fancy calling it, the personality part (which I would say comes from the brain and is made up of memories and of course the individual’s unique personality) goes to a plane with other deceased energies (suppose you could call this heaven of a sort - tbh I always pictured it as kinda like the pyreflies in FFX), while the rest of the energy (which I would say comes from the heart and is, I guess, the emotions the individual has experienced through life) is recycled and returned to the earth to be used again. SOOO a sort of somewhat logical theory that combines both afterlife and reincarnation. I also think that the recycled energies can recognise other energies they knew in previous lives. Not in a literal sense, but more like, they might feel an inexplicable connection, be it between two people, a pet and a human, etc etc. I kinda like the idea of this also explaining real life cases of supposed ‘soulmates’. Two energies meeting that once knew each other and were compatible in a previous life (sounds really YA romance I know). This could also be potentially used to explain some conditions or mental illnesses. Recycled energy that previously had lots of negative experiences may be renewed as someone who is also troubled (blame ur disorders on your energy ancestors lmao). This could explain troubled people who have no family history of any similar experiences. IT ALL SOUNDS VERY FANTASTICAL BUT YE. This has all come together after years of viewing and researching many different spiritual beliefs and recounts of spiritual or other ‘incredible’ events, in an attempt to kind of merge everything into something that could potentially be real and/or believable. Idk if scientifically this would make any sense, but I feel it’s logical enough to suit me anyways. 

11. What’s your favorite holiday and why? Well I have mentioned I’m pagan before, sooooo, my answer to this will probably be weird? XD LONG AND BORING BACKSTORY TIME: I didn’t really become self identified as pagan until the age of 13-14, and before that I grew up typically celebrating Christian holidays (Easter, Christmas) despite my immediate family not being religious at all. I always saw these holidays as more just time to be with family than anything else. So I do still celebrate Easter and Christmas as I’ve grown up with them in a culture that celebrates them whether you’re religious or not. I guess Christmas was always my favourite? It’s roughly a month after my birthday, far enough that I get double presents, but close enough that there’s still lots of ongoing excitement. And growing up it was typically the only time each side of my family would all be together (we’d alternate, one year at my mum’s parents, the next at my dad’s). But as I’ve gotten older, and grandparents have died and families have drifted apart, I’ve become less interested in both Easter and Christmas, seeing them now more as just times to buy stuff for people when you really can’t afford to, and tbh now I find myself more drawn to things such as Samhain (also ref that if you have seen spn, they butchered the pronunciation. it’s more akin to ‘sah-ween’ it’s an Irish word I think, which explains everything tbh) in particular. Before last year I had never sought out other pagans in my area and thus was a bit lax in my celebration of sabbats, so when I actually started meeting up with other people in my city early last year, it actually really changed things for me (so emotional sobsob). The Samhain I celebrated with this group earlier in the year (as I’m in the southern hemisphere, Samhain for me is in May) was actually a really really special thing that I did. It also happened to coincide around the 2 year anniversary of my dog’s death, and as Samhain (which has become modern Halloween to most) is a day for celebrating loved ones who have died, it was just a really nice experience to think about my dog, as well as my grandmother who died 3 months before him.  THAT WAS A LONG, BORING, AND MUSHY WAY OF SAYING THAT BASICALLY: ‘pagan Halloween’ (tho that term doesn’t even make sense lmao) is actually really lovely and memorable compared to almost every other ‘traditional’ holiday of my life. 

Geez you just happened to ask all The Big Questions. And you literally went from 100 to 0 to 100 and then probably to 1000. Or maybe that was just me. I AM VERY TIRED AFTER VOMITING ALL THAT OUT. also my finger joints hurt. 

WELL, if you got all through that, here are my own questions, which I totally Did Not steal from other question memes already in existence. I’m definitely not lazy. No I’m actually just very tired lol. These are all going to be fandomy/OTPy questions because WE REALLY NEED SOME LIGHT CONTENT AFTER ALL THAT. Plus everyone loves talking about their fandoms and shit. 

1. A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind? 2. What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? 3. Your favourite fandom {for the people, not the thing you spazz over}? 4. Are there any fandom popular ships that you don’t like or just don’t get? Alternatively, are there any typically overlooked minor ships that you think are really underappreciated?  (hay this one i made up myself lol) 5. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? 6. What’s a popular romantic/sexual ship that you can only ever see as a brotp? (also me!) 7. If you had the chance to make your OTP canon, and your NOTP very clearly stated as ‘definitely not canon eVER’, how would you express this in your ‘new canon’? (i’m on a roll) 8. Which character is Daddy Material? (there’s always at least one, admit it) 9. Character you relate to and why? (please share all tragic similarities) 10. As either a reader, writer, or both!, what’s your favourite fanfic genre and/or tropes? Are there any you always stay away from? 11. Opinions on omegaverse (in any and all forms, ranging from early spn fics, to the surprising amount of BTS/kpop fics, or have you tried the Japanese manga take on omegaverse - or even.... Life From the Ashes)? 

Tagging: @6ubble-gum AGAIN LOL cause these are new questions and I want to see your answers | @the-chibi-sempai | @justsimplyl | @humanitys-shortest-soldier | @kelandry5 | @seijuurouus | @sugaless-coffee bro r u still alive | @kagabutt bcuz we still need to talk moar |

[ravenvsfox]

hello, i love ur fics! can u write something where neil uses the "do u play exy bc ur a keeper" or something like that pick up line to andrew in front of the foxes maybe hes drunk idk i think itd be super funny xx

(so uhhhh I made this not funny at all and also an au but hey! it’s a thing!!)

Neil’s blearily grateful to be wedged into the dark embroidered fabric of a low-slung couch, pushed away from the sweat and throb of the dance floor. He feels enough like a raw vein without the club sucking the blood from him.

He knows he’s drunk because the blue lights are making him see ghosts in strangers’ faces. When he speaks it feels like he has a marble tucked into each cheek, just enough to garble his words. He knows that his legs won’t come with him if he stands, and it scares him.

Dan and Matt are crooning into each others’ ears, rocking to the sugary remix overhead, stacked next to him on the couch. He wonders how long he’s been swallowing shots to drown the taste of the last shot, trying to raise his pulse, trying to feel something. He opens his mouth to ask for the time and realizes, unsettled, that he’d asked less than a minute ago. He makes an aborted sound, smothering the stupid question before it can find oxygen and catch.

His friends notice anyway. Dan breaks away from Matt’s mouth at the noise, both of them gasping, adjusting to life on land.

“You look fucked,” Dan tells him. Neil nods seriously. He can taste so much salt. He’s drowned it in tequila and limes and rum and ice but his mouth still tastes savoury and sick.

“You need to get out of here?” Matt offers. Neil zeroes in on where Matt is rubbing circles into Dan’s bare thigh with his thumb. He knows they don’t really want to leave. He knows what their kindness tastes like because he’s gorged himself on it. He shakes his head, but it feels like his brain sloshes one way and his skull the other.

“I need a cigarette,” Neil says. He puts all his focus into standing without knocking over empties. Matt reaches out to steady him anyways but Neil pulls back hard, overcorrecting and falling into the wall. He stays there for too long, face pressed to the dark wall-paper, swallowing over and over again. He feels along the wall, liking the way it holds him up.

He finds himself on a short staircase down to the exit, and his feet and eyes are attached on a string. He can’t stop looking down because he can’t stop moving, and he doesn’t trust his body to do what he asks unless he’s watching, holding it accountable.

He’s struggling to light up before the door’s even open, hands shaking, lighter circling and sparking and coughing out in cycles.

Someone’s hand swims into view, and Neil watches his cigarette come alive like it’s happening to someone else. There’s a sharp-featured face and a pink mouth and moonlit hair and smoke peeling out of a mouth when it breathes.

“Thanks,” Neil mutters. The face doesn’t respond. Neil gives him a rare second look, squinting. “Did I thank you out loud?”

“You did,” the face says simply. His voice is cool and deep; it reminds Neil of cold patches in open water, and he gets phantom goosebumps.

Neil takes a drag of his cigarette. He sees his mother’s hair on the pillow next to him when he closes his eyes, and when he opens them, the stranger looks the same somehow: comforting, smoky, eaten by darkness, a good memory made painful.

It’s Andrew Minyard, he realizes suddenly. It’s the best goalkeeper in the world, smoking vacantly outside of a random seedy club in the middle of the season. The alcohol pitches and tries to come up his throat. Neil remembers that Minyard’s life intersected with Kevin’s somewhere in the timeline that he’d made himself put together half a dozen years ago. He remembers wishing for a way to be hidden but also to have Exy, his most treasured, unattainable obsession.

He looks at Andrew again, this time with recognition needling him so much that it hurts. He drops his cigarette on the ground and walks stiltedly away, feeling that old wish effect him more than the booze ever had. He keeps seeing steely brown eyes and that puzzling mouth even though he’s facing the other direction now.

Before everything, before he’d met Dan interning as a coach at his university, before Matt and Allison and Renee and Seth had become the only social circle he’d ever had, before he’d scared them and left them and killed his father, he’d thought of Kevin Day like a key, and Andrew like a keyring.

He’d watched them in black and red and scowls from afar and thought, things could’ve been different.

He stumbles back into the club with his past trying to introduce itself to the forefront of his brain, his eyes glued to his friends. They’re all bunched on the couches now, craning their necks for him, and things feel easier now that he’s focused on something other than the alcohol for a minute. He finds his way back through the masses, steadying himself on the arm of the couch as soon as he’s near enough.

“There you are, Christ Neil,” Matt says. “We were about to send out the world’s drunkest search party.”

“It’s fine,” Neil says. He wants to say more but he doesn’t know how to articulate that a professional athlete and former Raven just lit his cigarette for him, and he certainly doesn’t know how to explain why the thought of it makes him sick to his stomach.

“He’s fine,” Allison repeats. “He needs another drink.”

Matt goes to respond, but his mouth goes suddenly slack and his hand claps automatically to Dan’s arm. Neil’s throat closes up. “You’ll never guess who just walked in.”

All eyes swing to the door but Neil closes his, feeling the room tilt angrily around him, trying not to listen to the whispers spreading like a disease.

“No way, the monster?” Dan says. “Haven’t seen him since we played the Ravens in senior year. God, he’s hell in goal, remember?”

“He’s hell everywhere,” Seth says snidely.

“Maybe we should evacuate,” Allison says consideringly. “He’s an unpredictable little fucker.”

“I heard he stopped taking his meds when he made court,” Matt says. “—And he hasn’t said a word since.”

“He has,” Neil says unthinkingly, mouth cottony dry.

“What?”

“Nothing. He— nothing.”

“Oh,” Allison laughs. “I forgot that you were like— an Exy groupie.”

“I’m not,” Neil says firmly. He finally gives in and looks back towards the entrance, and he sees flickers of pale blond hair over a black ensemble. He feels himself sliding off of the arm of the couch and onto the cushion. Renee is a gentle pressure at his side.

“I think it’s good,” Renee says. “That you’re defending him. I have the feeling that he needs friends.”

“Maybe if he didn’t look like a serial killer,” Allison muses.

“Maybe if he didn’t act like one,” Seth agrees, and they exchange a mean, knowing glance. Neil always hates it when they agree.

“Anyways Neil,” Dan says pointedly. “We’re playing truth or dare, and you can’t get out of it.” Neil rolls his eyes and she flicks him in the face. “Whose turn was it?”

“Seth’s,” Matt tells her, and Seth succinctly tells him to fuck off.

They jump back into the rhythm of the game that they’d started while Neil was away, and he tries to focus on anything but the phantom panic in his stomach. The memory and the alcohol don’t want to coexist inside of him.

The group cycles past an uncooperative Seth and a sweet truth from Renee. Neil watches Andrew, a complex shadow on the opposite side of the room. He slips in among a group of people jostling around a table and Neil looks hastily down when a head turns and he narrowly avoids Kevin Day’s eye.

He recognizes the group now, Kevin and Andrew and Aaron, the infamous duo and the twin who didn’t make the cut. There’s someone else too, tall and dark and visibly enthusiastic.

“Neil,” Matt says abruptly. “You’ve gotta go try to pick him up.”

“Who?” Neil asks woozily. His focus is ice and Andrew and Kevin are salt.

“Minyard. Of fucking course. Don’t tell me you’re not in love with the way he plays at least, Neil.”

“No,” Neil replies, agitated, rubbing his own arm and feeling the weight of his scars beneath his sleeve.

“Uh, yes,” he says. “I dare you.”

“I choose truth,” Neil says petulantly, and Allison snorts.

“That’s new for you.”

“I’m not doing it,” Neil reiterates. He’s drunk enough that he would, though. He’s twitchy and unfiltered and he wants to know why Andrew did something for him without asking for anything in return.

“Then you lose,” Dan tells him. Neil glares at her. The club seems to get louder around them, an ocean reacting to a charged sky.

“Fine,” he says, and makes to get up with his glass limbs and his jelly focus. Somewhere in his sweaty palms he remembers to be terrified that Kevin might remember his face. Neil’s stopped putting in the effort to dye his hair since the butcher died. It’s grown out auburn, darker at the tips, curling around his neck. He still puts in brown contacts, scared of the ice in his own eyes.

Matt tugs him down. His expression is gleeful when he says, “wait, wait. We’ve got to give you your script.”

“Script,” Neil repeats, incredulous. Dan starts to reply but then Matt ropes her in close, whispering in her ear until something surprises a laugh out of her. She takes his phone and passes it along to Neil, grinning.

“We’ll be here, if he tries anything.”

“Fine,” he hears himself say again. He doesn’t know why he’s agreeing to this. He doesn’t know why he can’t disconnect the smoke on his tongue with Andrew’s face, soft but still in the light from his cigarette. He’s not used to wanting anything except adrenaline, but its possible Andrew’s just a version of the same thing.

He pushes through the crowd with the phone clenched in his hand, dizzying colours flashing over Andrew’s bowed head, his brother’s a shocking mirror across the table. Neil can hear his own breathing, curiously loud in the thunder and rain of music and voices.

He stops a couple of feet away from the four of them, eyeing Kevin’s tattoo and feeling very very foolish. He paces the last handful of steps closer and feels their eyes land on him like a coffin door closing. He looks down at the phone in his fist, trying to find meaning in the glaringly bright screen.

“Do you play Exy,” Neil starts, watching despairingly as Andrew’s interest fizzles out. “Because you’re a keeper.” He turns to go immediately, suddenly uninterested in a response, throat burning with humiliation. He should’ve read the note first. He shouldn’t have engaged. He shouldn’t have made friends with a bunch of malicious former Foxes. He can hear someone laughing in Andrew’s group, something about boys being too scared to even wait around for rejection.

“You,” he hears. Neil stops short. He breathes through his nose and rolls his shoulders.

“Don’t worry,” he says over his shoulder. “It was a dare. I didn’t come looking for a ‘you’re welcome’.”

“I wasn’t offering one,” Andrew says. Then, “come here.”

Neil glances back at his assembled friends without really seeing them, like feeling for the shape of your phone in your pocket. He weighs his options as best he can through the gauze of alcohol and exhaustion, and returns unsteadily to the group clustered around Andrew. He knows it doesn’t make sense for them to be assembled around someone as explosive as Andrew, but he seems to manufacture his own gravity.

Andrew regards him for a long moment. He’s pristine on the outside, like a stainless steel fridge with all manner of rot and vitality inside.

“I know who you are,” he tells Neil calmly. The tall boy titters nervously. The fine hairs on Neil’s neck stand straight up.

“You too,” Neil says as clearly as he can. It still comes out dirty. He can’t keep his past out of his voice tonight.

“Lots of people know who I am,” Andrew says, uninterested, and Neil gets a knick of pure anger. He wants Andrew to care.

“I’m sure,” Neil says. “I’d reckon that not quite as many know about the murder of your mother. Or about the real reason for your armbands.” He’s blowing smoke on that last one, but he enjoys the way Andrew’s face leaps, for a minute, barely able to strangle his own feelings before they get loose.

“Nathaniel,” Andrew tries, vindictive and crystal clear. Kevin’s gaze snaps in his direction, and Neil ducks his head, turns, trying to be lost again like he always is.

Andrew catches his arm in a shockingly strong grip, and Neil wrenches it around. He gets an inch of surprise, but Andrew outmatches him for strength and clearheadedness. He finds himself pinned to the bar, the room swimming but Andrew fixed.

“Pretty convenient that Tilda’s side of the car went non-functional and yours was untouched. Were you even trying to cover it up?” Neil hisses.

“Who are you,” Andrew says, jostling him hard so that his shoulder digs painfully into the lip of the bar.

“I thought you knew?” Neil mocks. He’s running on fumes, using every un-loaded gun in his arsenal until he finds a bullet. He half hopes that Andrew will knock him out before he finds one.

“I’ve seen your face. The runaway killer. You were on the news for patricide,” he says the last word like he’s tasting it and daintily spitting it out again.

He doesn’t bother denying it, Andrew’s eyes are too clever, even in the slur of the club. They’re all murderers here, anyway. “Two years ago,” he says instead. “A grainy photo on the Maryland news two years ago.”

“I do not forget faces.”

They stare at each other, Neil breathing hard, Andrew’s hands flexed tight in Neil’s shirt. He spots the club’s security shoving their way towards them over Andrew’s shoulder, looking grim and important.

“Let go,” Neil says, and Andrew does, instantly. He gives himself a moment to be impressed and then he’s being hauled up by a heavy hand on his bicep.

“You guys going to continue to destroy property?” He understands dimly that Andrew must have broken something on the bar with Neil’s body.

“Might,” Andrew says, and Neil’s mouth twitches. The hands get tighter, and he lets himself be manhandled towards the exit without digging his heels in too much.

“No way,” he hears, and when he looks up he sees Matt’s face on the outskirts of a distracted crowd of dancers, flushed drunk and obviously horrified. He spots Allison laughing into Renee’s shoulder just beyond him, the whole group navigating the line between amusement and horror. Renee gives him a thumbs up, and Neil follows her gaze to where Andrew is already looking at him.

They’re dragged the rest of the way out of the bar and deposited on the curb, and the whole affair is ridiculous: their utter silence and stiff compliance, security’s over-performing, the way the lingering smell of smoke calms Neil down so much that he sinks into the wall as soon as arms are gone from around his body.

His head lolls towards Andrew when he hears the twist and spark of a lighter a minute later. Andrew looks at him and then out into the street when he extends a second cigarette in Neil’s direction. Neil shakes his head, mostly to clear it.

“I just like the smell. Thanks, though,” he mumbles.

Andrew accepts this, tucks the cigarette back into the pack, and leans up against the wall beside Neil.

“Nathaniel,” Andrew starts, not cocked to hurt this time, but Neil still flinches.

“Neil. Not—“ God, he’s still drunk. “That’s not my name anymore.”

“Neil,” Andrew corrects smoothly, blowing smoke just right so that the wind carries it into Neil’s face. “You’re welcome.”

[sadrien]

prince of cats

chapter three: the gentle fine is this

on ao3 || on ffnet 1 | 2 | 3

two things:

1. i remembered what i was going to say last week: this is a really REALLY cliche fic, so if you're not into that you may want to rethink your reading, but also, this is me so i think everyone expects dcom 2. i accidentally put the wrong tags in ch1, and that's been changed, but just so we're clear, i'm using #proc ml and #prince of cats ml for this fic

enjoy~

“You are not my cat,” Marinette says simply.

Plagg meows in response.

She sighs and drags a hand through her hair. She now has to add ‘return cat’ to her list of things to do today. She would just leave Plagg be and let him run back to Adrien, but something tells her Plagg isn’t much of an outdoor cat. That something being Adrien’s reaction to Plagg making a break for it.

Also, Plagg looks comfortable in his patch of sun. If Marinette knows anything about cats, it’s that Plagg isn’t moving any time soon.

She crosses her arms. “You’re going to have to wait for me to change,” she tells him. She refuses to go knocking on Adrien’s door in a pair of ratty old pajamas with Sailor Moon on the pants.

Plagg just closes his eyes and turns his face toward the sun.

✦ ✦ ✦

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Sos I have his cat

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      what      ninos too lazy 2 get his phone he says what too

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      My neighbor      Adrien      I have his cat

From: spielberg / heart eyes To: holy trinity      what the fuck

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Did you go get your phone just to say that

From: spielberg / heart eyes To: holy trinity      its an important question

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Ok well I opened my kitchen window and now…      Now Ive got a cat

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      r u keeping the cat

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Of course Im not keeping the cat!!!!!!!

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      rip

From: spielberg / heart eyes To: holy trinity      ive always seen you as more of a cat person anyway mar      are you going to let the cat do whatever or???

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Im gonna bring him back to adrien

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      oooo contact!!!

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Oh my god shut up

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      idk what u were expecting when u texted me tbh

From: spielberg / heart eyes To: holy trinity      please snapchat me lots of cat pics

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      please snapchat me pics of the cute neighbor

From: fashion goddess / bread To: holy trinity      Yes to the cat pics no to the creepy pics

From: the Most Beautiful / queen of my heart To: holy trinity      :’(

✦ ✦ ✦

Marinette scoops Plagg up in her arms and he immediately starts nuzzling against her. “I’m going to be covered with cat hair, aren’t I?” she mumbles, scratching behind Plagg’s ears. “You’re lucky that you and your owner are both cute.”

Plagg purrs happily.

“You’re just lazy, aren’t you?” Marinette muses. She carefully pulls her front door open with Plagg still in her arms and tries the knob once to make sure it doesn’t lock behind her. Then she knocks on Adrien’s door as Plagg climbs out of her arms and attempts to get up onto her shoulder.

It takes a few moments for Adrien’s door to open. His hair is a mess and he’s still wearing the clothes she saw him in the day before, they’re just more rumpled.

Marinette gives him a weak smile and pulls Plagg off her sweater. “I found something that belongs to you.” She holds a squirming Plagg out to him.

Adrien stares at Plagg for a moment. Plagg hisses and Adrien rolls his eyes and takes Plagg from Marinette. “How did you get out?” he asks Plagg as the escapee swipes at his nose.

“He was sitting in my kitchen,” Marinette explains. “Found a spot in the sun after I opened the window.”

Adrien frowns and looks back over his shoulder into his apartment. “I don’t think I…” He turns to Marinette with wide eyes. “Can cats open windows? Is this something that no one ever tells you?”

Marinette bites back a smile. “I’ve never had a cat, I wouldn’t know.”

“I’ve only had Plagg for like three months,” Adrien admits. Plagg squirms and jumps out of Adrien’s arms, disappearing into Adrien’s apartment. Adrien sighs. “Plagg is definitely a cat. I don’t know if he likes me that much, but I feed him, so he sticks around.”

Marinette grins awkwardly. “You know how you said you washed all of the glitter out?”

“Yeah?”

She rocks back on her heels. “Well, um…you didn’t. He sparkles in the sun.”

Adrien squints at her. “Are you telling me my cat is a hundred seventeen year old vampire?”

Marinette blinks at him in surprise. “That’s a big secret for your cat to keep from you.”

Plagg meows loudly.

“Do you think that’s confirmation or denial?” Adrien asks.

She laughs. “I don’t think you have enough information yet.”

“I’ll keep a close eye on him,” Adrien promises with a brilliant smile. Marinette’s heart swoops and she feels some more of her resolve melt. Adrien glances into his apartment. “Uh…would you like some…coffee or something? For returning my cat?”

Marinette feels her cheeks grow warm. “I appreciate the offer but I’m not really a coffee person.” She hates herself. She should’ve lied and forced herself to drink bitter bean water. Alya’s going to be disappointed in her.

He rubs the back of his neck. “Not your thing?”

“If there’s enough sugar to mask the taste?” She shrugs. “I drank a lot of really sugary coffee drinks in university and I’m just—” she gestures randomly with a hand. “I probably don’t need that much caffeine or sugar.”

“Fair enough.” Adrien steps out of the doorway and for a second, Marinette thinks their brief conversation is over. “Do you want to come in for like… I think I might have orange juice? Or milk?”

Her heart leaps to her throat as she tries not to nod too eagerly. “I’d like that a lot.”

✦ ✦ ✦

Marinette has always thought that you can learn a lot from people’s living place. What they surround themselves with, how they interact with it— What she learns about Adrien is that he either isn’t a fan of interior decorating or he still hasn’t gotten around to unpacking boxes several months later.

His apartment is relatively bare, bar for the furniture and a few sticky notes stuck to a wall. The layout is similar to her own, but it feels so foreign and strange. A bit empty and sort of sad feeling.

Plagg leaps up onto the couch and makes himself comfortable on a black blanket draped over the back.

“I learned early on that if I’m going to have a black cat, everything might as well be black,” Adrien says as he wanders toward the kitchen. “It’s just not possible to keep the fur off anything.”

“I can imagine.” Marinette leans against the counter as Adrien opens the fridge. The kitchen looks significantly more lived in than the actual living portion of the apartment. There's a laptop on the small table in the center of the kitchen, papers scattered around it and thick leather bound books stacked high. There are a few highlighters and pens on top of the papers, a pink one resting in the spine of an open book.

“Sorry about the mess,” Adrien says. He pulls out a carton of orange juice and a cup from the cabinet right next to the fridge. “I don’t have visitors… Well, I don’t have visitors, actually.”

“My apartment is a bigger mess,” Marinette promises. “I have fabric all over my bedroom. It’s kind of a disaster.”

Adrien gives her a curious look as he hands her the glass of orange juice. “Fabric?”

“Thanks.” Marinette takes the glass. “I’m a fashion designer and I might’ve drowned myself in fabric.”

She catches the beginnings of a smile as he turns around to start a pot of coffee. “I work from home, so I don’t really have much incentive to leave the apartment other than to buy food.”

She raises an eyebrow. “What about friends?” Whoops. Now he’s going to think she’s judging him. Good going.

Adrien shrugs and turns around once the coffee is started. “I have a cat,” he says, motioning to the couch.

Marinette takes a sip of her orange juice.

“Okay, so my social life is a little sad. Doesn’t change the fact that I have a cat.”

“Fair enough.” She glances to the papers on the table. “What do you do? You said you work from home?”

“I work for my father,” Adrien says. “I do a bit of everything, since he runs his own company, but most of it is financials and accounting. I have a brain for numbers.”

“Do you like it?” Marinette asks carefully.

Adrien shrugs. “I like it fine enough.”

“And it pays the bills,” she supposes.

He nods. “Yes, exactly.” He pulls one of the chairs out from the table and motions for her to sit down as well. “Okay, so you’re a fashion designer and hate coffee. Anything else I should know about you?”

Marinette smiles and takes a seat. “I’ve got plenty of coffee related stories. Including how my two best friends met.”

Adrien raises his eyebrows. “Really?”

She puts down her glass. “Well, it was finals and Nino had a coffee and a Monster…”

[pariswrites-blog]

So I decided to make a large list of plots / faces / ships that I want, which you can find below the cut. It’s long. Check it out and message me/like this if you’re interested in any of them!

MOST WANTED

So I’ve got 3 ships that I want most of all: Niels Schneider x Xavier Dolan, Daniel Sharman x Frank Dillane, and Niels Schneider x Daniel Sharman. I’m completely open plot wise for any of these though for the Niels x Daniel one, I did make this post earlier and still 100% stand by it. I will love you forever if you do one of these with me.

CANONS

TEEN WOLF

I love this show too much and am so sad to see it go so why not do some 1x1s for it? 

I love playing Isaac tbh and would love to have some ships for him. Allison x Isaac is like my OTP so if someone did that with me I would scream? I’ve also always been intrigued with the idea of Lydia x Isaac so I would totally love it if someone did that one too (and I’m cool with changing Holland’s face if you’re uncomfortable with her). Scott x Isaac, Stiles x Isaac, Jackson x Isaac are all some other suggestions. I’m intrigued with Boyd x Isaac as well so that’s a suggestion there too.

Also, sorry Thiam shippers, but I’m 100% forever on the Briam train so if someone would play Liam against my Brett, I’d be in heaven.

IN THE FLESH

Okay so, fun fact, this blog was re-purposed from an rp blog for a group that sadly died. It was an ITF inspired rp and I loved the character I played there and would love to bring him back. There was also a wanted connection I had for him that never got filled but that would be really great as a 1x1. You can read about my character Apollo Bellerose (Niels Schneider fc) here but here’s also a summary of the idea.

(Muse A is Apollo, Muse B would be your character.)

M/M -- Muse A was a wild child, a feral animal of fire and rule-breaking. Hopes for him were dashed at an early age as he set himself up as the trouble-maker. Muse B was the opposite -- tempered and popular. The only reason their paths crossed was because they grew up in the same small town, in the same class. But that should’ve been it. It was a surprise to everyone when Muse B and Muse A started hanging out together, soon becoming inseparable. They were just children but they were attached at the hip, growing into adolescence and teenagers. Muse A was still wild, Muse B was still calm -- fire and water, red and blue. When they were sixteen, their friendship evolved into something more intimate. Though the relationship could be fraught at time -- Muse A to blame in almost every case -- their bond ran deep. Or it did, until Muse B died suddenly. It was an accident or heart failure or something similar, sudden and unexpected. Too soon. One might’ve expected Muse A to go off the deep-end but, rather, he was numb, going through the motions. That was until the Rising happened and the dead came back. The world ground to a halt but with the PDS sufferers in treatment centers, the world is returning to normal and Muse A is getting back on his self-destructive track. He refuses to acknowledge that overwhelming possibility that Muse B would be one of those PDS sufferers, going so far as to avoid Muse B’s grave. With the PDS sufferers returning to Roarton though, it’s only a matter of time before Muse A wouldn’t be able to deny to it. But will an apocalypse be enough to sever their bond? Probably not.

My main suggestion for B was Xavier Dolan though I also originally suggested Daniel Sharman and Keith Powers. Matt Daddario, Bob Morley, and Dominic Sherwood would also work though Xavier and Daniel would be preferred. This is, like, one I really, really want to do still.

XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS

Campy 90s shows for the win (oh, and fuck you Looper -- it’s still perfectly watchable now). Anyways. I really want a Xena x Gabrielle plot, two bad-ass women travelling through the ancient world, kicking godly asses. As much as I love Lucy Lawless and Renee O’Connor, I realize that they’re not really usable so I’m totally down for changing the faces. Just... Please. Badass women and a canon that totally allows for AUs in all time periods -- it’d be awesome.

THE ORIGINALS

So um... I don’t want like a really super canon 1x1 here but like, after Koleb died, I got in my head this idea of what if, when Davina brought back Kol, Kaleb hitched a ride back. Kaleb’s bitter af but he was always kind of the way in my mind. The pairing would be Davina x Kaleb and we could also make this an OT3 if there was someone who’d like to play Kol as well but that’s not necessary for me.

LES AMOURS IMAGINAIRES

Uh... Indie French cinema for the win? Yeah, I know this won’t get any bites but I’m gonna try anyways. Basically a few years after the end of the movie, Francis and Nicolas meet again. There’s been some maturing, maybe Francis isn’t as close to Marie anymore (or maybe she got married or something). It’s slow-burn reconnecting and falling in love.

FEAR THE WALKING DEAD

So... I know Troy’s a POS person but I think there was potential for evolution in his character. He was isolated from a young age with an abusive father and alcoholic mother which didn’t give him much of a fighting chance in becoming a better person. Off the ranch though, I think he could have evolved. He also had a ton of useful information about walkers. Anyways, I’d like to give him that arc. Also I want to explore that mad chemistry between Nick and Troy so yeah. This masterlist might be good for some general plot ideas and tbh the “Who’s baby is this?” one just screams Trick to me.

GREEK MYTH

This can be like modern or actual myth -- either’s cool. 

Zeus x Ganymede. Either historical like Zeus kidnaps him to be the wine-pourer and Zeus wants him but Ganymede is just perpetually pissed with him for KIDNAPPING him and Zeus has to win him over. Or maybe something modern that’s more sugary daddy/baby-ish?

Telemachus. I really love my baby Telemachus? Or Telemaque as the French would say. But, basically, there’s this suitor and he’s one of the younger ones, probably 25 or less, and not really in the running to win Penelope’s hand but eh. He doesn’t really care. He likes to tease Telemachus but as things get worse in Ithaca, he realizes he’s worried about Telemachus and starts teaching him how to fight and defending him and they start falling in love. He be all like ‘I’ll go with you’ when Telemachus goes to find his father (even though he doesn’t) and, when Odysseus returns, Telemachus has to defend him because he was technically one of the suitors and just... Please. (I’d play Telemachus.)

Odysseus x Penelope. Clever Odysseus and clever Penelope, dominating and tricking the world with their superior minds. A modern!AU.

HARRY POTTER

I love this universe so I’m super down for anything. I won’t do anything set at Hogwarts because I can never remain interested in that tbh but other stuff is cool. I highkey ship Remus x Sirius and would love to write them as long as the faces aren’t Andrew Garfield or Ben Barnes. I also love all the potential in the fucked up dynamic between Fenrir and Remus. I usually end up playing Fenrir but if someone wanted to let me play Remus in that, I’d adore you forever. A Regulus x Remus one would be awesome too. A Nymphadora x Remus ship would be cool too, as would a James x Lily or Lily x Marlene. Outside the Marauders era, someone needs to give me a Ginny x Cho ship. I also wrote a next gen son of Greyback (Lycus Greyback) once that I’d love to bring back. Maybe with Teddy? Or OCs -- OCs in the HP universe are totally okay with me.

PLOTS

So this tag has the plots I want but some I particularly want.

X. I’d like to be Muse B and maybe like have Tom Ellis as A? Or Jason Momoa? Idk. I’m open but I think it’d be super fun.

X. I’d be cool with playing either in this plot; I’d love to see Troye Sivan as A but again open but fun sounding.

“you’re supposed to be on a blind date with someone but you sat down at the wrong table and i haven’t been able to get a word in edgewise to tell you that and it’s been thirty minutes” from this post. I’ve no preferences on genders or faces just I think this could be cool.

Yo I’ve mentioned this multiple times not but THIS PLOT with Daniel Sharman as A and Niels Schneider as B -- let me play B and love. me.

“what is the ONE thing i asked you NOT to do tonight?” “raise the dead…” “AND WHAT DID YOU DO?!” “…raised the dead…” from this post. I really want to play a necromancer? Maybe we could do a Trick!AU where the walkers are because of necromancers and Troy has had to repress the fact he’s one his entire life and then Jeremiah and Jake are dead and yeah. But we could also do this as entirely OC. I’d still love it be necromancer-caused zombie apocalypse but I’m cool with other stuff.

“i’m a ghost and i’m trapped in the graveyard and i don’t normally talk to mortals but bro i have to ask wtf are you doing hanging around a graveyard is your life really this sad” from this post. open and fun again!

X. PLEASE. Any sort of serial killer plot would be awesome. Which is a weird fucking thing to say but okay.

“you and your friend always sit at the table a couple down from mine and gossip in [insert language here], which happens to be a language i’m currently learning. i’ve been eavesdropping to try and improve my listening comprehension and oh my god are you actually talking about how hot i am???” -- this please, from this post. maybe like a daniel sharman x tyler posey? or idk.

literally anything from this post but like i mention “who’s baby is this? au” for Trick in a canon divergent plot (ie. after they leave the ranch, before they get to the dam)

also this could also work for xavier dolan x niels schneider.

SHIPS

So how about a Xavier Dolan x Daniel Sharman? Or Jenna Thiam x Niels Schneider? Also Jack Falahee, Crystal Reed, Kat McNamara, Conrad Ricamora x Daniel Sharman. Other ones that don’t include Daniel, Xavier, or Niels: Eva Green x Caitlin Stasey (I’d also be cool with playing Eva if we used them for Xena and Gabrielle), Riz Ahmed x Fawad Khan (Fawad as a multi-billionaire playboy and Riz as a devoted grad student, maybe?), Charlie Hunnam x Jason Momoa, Marlon Teixeira x Willy Cartier, Andreja Pejic x Hari Nef, Andrew Garfield x Ben Barnes (but not as Remus and Sirius), Sofia Boutella x Charlize Theron.

FACES

It’s very clear that I love Daniel Sharman and Niels Schneider so they will always be most wanted, with Xavier Dolan as a close third. I feel most comfortable with them tbh and have the most muse for them (also I’ve made like 400 gifs of Niels). If you want to make me happy, let me play one of them and play one of the others against me. I would like to branch out at some point though so some others. There are honestly too many for me to list in their entirety so I’ll list only ones I have mentioned already. Bold are ones I want to play, italics I want used against me, plain are the ones I have no preference about (though I’d be open on most of the bold ones too).

Alycia Debnam-Carey, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Samuel Larsen, Adrianne Palicki, Laith Ashley, Elliot Fletcher, Iskra Lawrence, Lisa Teige, Iman Meskini, Hale Appleman, Tarjei Sandvik Moe, Adelaide Kane, Alexandra Daddario, Amber Heard, Josh Holloway, Angelina Jolie, Arden Cho, Barbara Palvin, Alex Saxon, Alexander Koch, Bianca Santos, Caity Lotz, Camila Quieroz, Cara Delevigne, Blake Michael, Avan Jogia, Austin Butler, Diego Barrueco, Bill Skarsgard, Booboo Stewart, Chloe Bridges, Byun Baek-Hyun, Diane Guerrero, Carlos Valdes, Josh Thomas, Dichen Lachman, Christopher Larkin, Eddie Redmayne, Ezra Miller, Gaspard Ulliel, Emeraude Toubia, Emilia Clarke, Famke Janssen, Gabriella Wilde, Halston Sage, Dev Patel, Douglas Booth, Godfrey Gao, Harry Shum Jr., Karen Fukuhara, Kiowa Gordon, Landon Liboiron, Matt Hitt, Matthew Gray Gubler, Keira Knightley, Kiana Lede, Lana Condor, Liza Soberano, Maira Walsh, Jamie Blackley, Jordan Fisher, Jamie Campbell-Bower, Megan Fox, Naomi Scott, Max Irons, Reece King, Richard Harmon, Natalia Dyer, Phoebe Tonkin, Priyanka Chopra, Madelaine Petsch, Seo Kang-Joon, Steven R. McQueen, Steven Yeun, Seychelle Gabriel, Shelley Hennig, Skyler Samuels, Haruma Miura, Lee Hyun-Jae, Thomas McDonell, Toby Regbo, Tom Holland, Tyler Blackburn, Joe Manganiello, Tyler Hoechlin, Cengiz Al, Froy Gutierrez, Tanya Beatty, Victoria Moroles, Zoe Kravtiz, Yoon Jeonghan.

This is not all-encompassing. There are plenty more faces. In fact, I’d love to use model faces without any resources -- just some old-fashioned writing, maybe some static icons if we feel like it.

[david-vetas-rain-boots-blog]

Tag

answer the questions and tag some peeps (20 peeps to be exact) THE LAST: 1. Drink: the crazy sugar tea my aunt made (aka diabetus water) 2. Phone call: someone ;) 3. Text message: sent- good morning recieved- yes i watered your plants calm down (from my dad lmao) 4. Song you listened to: troubled times by green day 5. Time you cried: this morning bc I saw a really cute cat 6. Dated someone twice: oh god id rather not 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: like six months ago 8. Been cheated on: again, like six months ago 9. Lost someone special: a couple weeks ago actually 10. Been depressed: like yesterday 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: ive never gotten drunk lmao

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 
12-14: white, gray, black (so colourful, so happy) IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 
15. Made new friends: hell yes 16. Fallen out of love: good god yes 17. Laughed until you cried: too many times to count my dude 18. Found out someone was talking about you: ooooooh yes 19. Met someone who changed you: yuperdoo 20. Found out who your friends were: yes 21. Kissed someone on your fb list: i dont have a facebook GENERAL: 22. How many of your fb friends do you know ill: <– is that supposed to be irl? if so, none of them because i still dont have an instagram 23. Do you have any pets: yessssss 24. Do you want to change your name: eh kinda 25. What did you do for your last birthday: worked at the zoo with c h i l d r e n and then ate sushi 26. What time did you wake up: 10:00 am 27: What were you doing at midnight last night: texting people 28. Name something you can’t wait for: band camp/ band season in general/ hockey season 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: whenever she went to bed 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: less legs, more torso/ be more porportionate 31. What are you listening to rn: my cousins being loud lil fucks but i love them 32. Have you talked to a person named Tom: yes siree
 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my cousin trying to tell me that the oboes im looking at are actually "recorders for professionals" 34. Most viewed website: a tie between instagram and pinterest 35. Mole/s: so many 36. Mark/s: a crap ton of birtmarks and random scars from me being an idiot 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a veterinarian, still working on that dream 38. Hair color: light brown but i low key want to go to my natural dark brown/ black color 39. Long or short hair: medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone: girl you have no idea 41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they change color drastically depending on the lighting and thats pretty neat 42. Piercings: ear piercing! 43. Bloodtype: i have absolutely no idea 44. Nickname: maddie, sissy, bubby (why), nana (also why) 45. Relationship status: low key taken 46. Zodiac: Gemini 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV show: i dont watch tv unless its a documentary or sports 49. Tattoos: nah fam 50. Right or left hand:technically left but i was forced to use my right hand as a preschooler so now im ambidextrous i guess??? 51. Surgery: one when i was a baby i think and a slim chance i might have one in the middle of band season kms 52. Piercing: again, ears 53. Sport: Marching Band (ITS A SPORT)and hockeyyyy 54. yall what happened to number 54 is nobody going to talk about this 55. Vacation: im on vacation right now but its more of a trip to visit family 56. Pair of trainers: got my marching shoessssssss

MORE GENERAL: 
57. Eating: donuts 58. Drinking: the frickin sugary-ass diabetus water 59. I’m about to: idk prolly watch hockey reruns with wessley 60. YALL 60. WHAT HAPPENED TO 60. 61. Waiting for: my man to get off of work ._. 62. Want: some instruments ive had my eye on and also good grades 63. 63. Get married: preferably 64. Career: veterinarian but if that doesnt work out i want to be an aerospace engineer, mechanical engineer, zoologist, animal rescue worker, or possibly a music teacher 65. WHICH IS BETTER ? 
65. Hugs or kisses: thats a tie my dude 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 
 68. Older or younger: older 
 69. 69 is dead too, yall 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook-up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: a healthy mix of both

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: heh 75. Drank hard liquor: yup 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope…unless you count fake glasses 77. Turned someone down: so many times 78. Sex on the fist date: im a virgin 79. Broken someones heart: apparently 80. Had your heart broken: good lord you have no idea 81. Been arrested: i mean as a joke because my uncle is a cop and he can pull this stuff 82. Cried when someone died: oh yes 83. Fallen for a friend: yep...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: yes but it’s rare
 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss on the first date: YES 89. Angels: yes

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: Katie and Gracie/ Kayla 91. Eye colour: this weird hazel thats like brown in some lights, green in some, blue in some, yea its weird 92. Favourite movie: Princess Bride, Nightmare Before Christmas, any and every Star Wars movie

are you happy now @maroonambivert

[i-amusemyself]

All Emoji Asks.

🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".💭 do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?

[strxwbxnny]

Conversation Hearts

Preview: Dick’s hand was suddenly over his mouth again, with the other boy looking down at him, the smirk that was only peaking out before now in full throttle.

Wally didn’t lick him. He only had enough brain power right now to stare up at Dick. “Wally, are you asking me out on a date?” Dick teased.

Word count: 1675 words

I was gonna post this on AO3 first but it keeps crashing so here we are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyway Here is my fic for @translatinxjasontodd​ for the @yjficexchange​! I tried to follow your prompt but the fic had a mind of it's own. I wrote half this at like 3 am and I barely edited it and I haven't written fic in years so like. Concrit is helpful? idk

Edit: Read on AO3 here

“Rob”

Wally was draped over the couch in Mount Justice, pushing himself onto Robin’s lap as he whined. Robin stared straight ahead (or at least what Wally assumed was straight ahead, it’s always a little hard to tell with those glasses) at the TV.

Not the reaction Wally wanted. He wiggled himself farther into Rob’s lap, pushing his feet against the arm of the couch for leverage. When he was where he wanted, shoulders resting on the other boy’s thighs, he opened his mouth again.

“Rooo-oooob” He pitched his voice in a way that stretched one syllable into two.

This time Dick did actually look down, his bangs falling forward as he stared down at Wally. He did say anything at first, just raised an eyebrow, then after a moment a gently huffed “what?” that was most a puff of air on Wally’s cheeks.

Wally plastered on his most shit-eating grin. “Hi”

Ok so in Wally’s defense, he totally saw the hand coming. Totally.  He just didn’t wanna move ok? Dick’s palm smooshed over Wally’s face, with his nose poking between his fingers. Wally, of course, licked it.

Dick coiled back, nose scrunching. “Dude gross.” He wiped his palm on the shoulder of Wally’s flannel shirt, which Wally supposed was fair, but he still reached up to flick Dick’s nose in revenge. Rob made a gesture that indicated he was rolling his eyes under the glasses, and looked back to the TV.

Shit. He’d have to start over.

“Rob!”

It worked a little better this time. He thinks. Rob is kinda glaring at him now.

“Wally you better not lick me again.”

Wally held his hand above his face, equal parts defense and truce. “I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna. Geez, Rob, I’m not that big of a-”

“Don’t say it”

“-Dick” The shit-eating grin returns.

“Aaaaand you said it. You’re lucky everyone else is out right now” Dick pinched the bridge of his nose, but he grinned a little. Success. “Why are you like this?”

“I dunno, but you love me for it” Wally wiggled his shoulders in Dick’s lap in a weird little dance.

Wally almost missed it, but he could swear he saw Dick’s face get slightly pink at that. But it was gone just as fast, so he brushed it off as a trick of the light from the TV. Dick rapped the back of his knuckles against Wally’s forehead.

“You shut up, you smart ass”

Wally wanted to say ‘but you love this ass’, but he bit it back. He had a mission. Focus, West.

“Fine, but I was gonna ask you something, but I guess you’ll never know now” Wally stuck out his tongue for good measure, pouting a little.

Dick just looked down at him and raised an eyebrow.

Um. When did he stop looking like a little shit when he did that and more like he was maybe attractive? Look, Wally wasn’t blind, he could tell Dick was kinda maybe hot. There’s a reason girls and maybe some guys tended to swoon over him, but shit. Ok so maybe, just maybe, Wally noticed a bit more than he’d like to admit. It’s not like he was opposed to dudes, hell he was bi, but Dick was his bro. Bros don’t kiss bros.

Wally mentally slapped himself. Focus. Mission.

Wally’s throat was suddenly a little dry. “Um.”

Dick hiked his eyebrow up a little higher - if that was even possible - and the beginnings of a smirk pulled at his lips.

Wally squirmed for a moment. “Ok fine” He was a little nervous, especially when Dick has his face like that, but decided to bite the bullet “Um so Singles Awareness Day also known as Valentine’s Day is coming up and like. I don’t know if you noticed, dude, but we’re both painfully single right now, especially me since Arty and I just broke up like a couple months ago, so the thing I had planned with her is obviously not gonna happen, and like I dunno, I got nothing to do that day and -”

Dick’s hand was suddenly over his mouth again, with the other boy looking down at him, the smirk that was only peaking out before now in full throttle.

Wally didn’t lick him. He only had enough brain power right now to stare up at Dick.

“Wally, are you asking me out on a date?” Dick teased.

Wally swatted Dick’s hand away, with an indignant squawk. “What! No! I was just gonna ask if we could hang out and lament our pains of being single together”

Wally could feel Dick’s legs under him start to shake a moment before Dick actually started laughing, hand cupping over his mouth to muffle the sound.

“I was only kidding Wally” Dick managed to get out in a hiccupy breath between laughs.

Wally pouted a little, rolling over to face the TV with a huff. “You’re meaaaannnn” He whined.

Dick slowly came down from his giggle fit, and reached over to lightly tap Wally’s forehead. Wally ignored him. Mostly.

Dick huffed, in the way the made Wally think he was rolling his eyes. “Yes, we can hang out on Valentine’s Day. How about some popcorn and Pacific Rim?”

Wally rolled over again to look at Dick. His smile was a lot less smirky and a lot more smiley now, gentler around the edges.

“I don’t know, you were mean to me, maybe I don’t want to go on a date with you anymore”

“I’ll get you bad chocolates and those conversation hearts you like for some ungodly reason.”

Fuck. He’s pinned.

__________

Riley just announced on screen that Gypsy Danger runs on analog when Wally crams the last handful of popcorn in his mouth, emptying the bowl. He chewed and screwed up his face as he almost got a kernel stuck between his teeth again.

His feet rested in Dick’s lap, with the other boy’s arms over his calves, in the loveseat they shared. He wiggles his feet a little.

“Dude the best part is coming up, time to break out the candy!”

Dick leaned over the arm, grabbing the plastic bag filled with Wally’s desired sugary goodness from where it sat on the floor, and Wally bounced his legs a little, partly excited for the candy, but mostly just releasing energy.

“Don’t eat all the candy, I want some too” Dick said, handing over the bag.

“I won’t, I won’t, jeez cut me some slack” Wally went straight for the chocolate, deciding to leave his favorite, the conversation hearts for last.

He popped open the bag and passes Hershey’s kisses over to Dick, but never tearing his eyes from the screen as Gypsy Danger fought the Kaiju. It didn’t escape his notice though that Dick fingers lingered on his own whenever they passed more kisses between them.

And when the action on screen was less urgent, Wally spared peeks over to the other side of the loveseat, split second looks, and it definitely didn’t escape his notice that Dick’s eyes seemed to linger on him more than the movie. Weird.

As the movie drew on Wally slowly (for him at least) made his way through the candy stash. Hershey’s kisses, cinnamon hearts, those little foil wrapped chocolate hearts, Reese’s cups. Until finally, right around the time that the big battle started, he got to the conversation hearts.

They were his favourite, and not just for their good (read: cheesy) pickup lines. He oddly enough liked the texture and the taste.

Wally doesn’t know why he did what he did next. Couldn’t really say other than maybe it was the naturally teasing relationship he and Dick had, or his weird sense of humor, or maybe just because it was Valentine’s day. But hey, Wally was known to make bad decisions.

He picked out one of the little heart candies, one that said “kiss me” in soft pastel, and placed it on his tongue. The final scene where Riley and Mako embrace plays out on screen. He turned to Dick and stared at him for a moment, almost surprised but not really to find the other boy’s eyes already on him. Dick just looked at the heart on his tongue for a moment and raised his eyebrow. Wally wiggled his eyebrows in a jokingly suggestive way, and then popped his tongue back in his mouth.

And the next thing he knows, the room is dark as the credits starts to run and there’s lips on his own. His motion stutters for a moment. Dick was kissing him. He froze. Shit. A hot guy is kissing you. Kiss back now. So what if he’s your bro, kiss him.

His hands moved before his brain fully caught up, clutching Dick’s shoulder, and his lips move to reciprocate. He kisses back, a bit tentative, with thoughts of this is Dick I’m kissing floating around the back of his mind still. Dick didn’t hold back though, tongue on his lips, gently licking and nibbling until Wally opened up a bit. Dick’s tongue was in his mouth and it felt good. Why was he holding back before again?

Dick’s tongue moved against his for a few moments and all too soon it left his mouth and Dick pulled away, already back in his seat, leaving Wally to flounder for a moment. When Wally finally got his bearings back he looked over at Dick again, puzzled look on his face to silently say “dude what the fuck?”

Dick merely quirks his eyebrow up. Then sticks out his tongue. The conversation heart Wally had before sat there, a little smaller from how long it had been between their mouth, but there nonetheless. Wally’s throat suddenly felt a little dry again as Dick popped his tongue back in his mouth with a snicker and even in the dim light he could definitely see the pink that dusted along Dick’s nose this time. He could feel the heat in his own face.

Ok so maybe bros could kiss bros.

[castroneves]

👀 🎁 💙 🎵 🍰 👻

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?my dream last night lmfao i was moving into a university dorm which is honestly a nightmare but it was a really strange dorm idk i can’t explain it.

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?my dog tbh her birthday is tomorrow!!!!!

💙 what annoys you about some people?people who constantly complain about everything they have to do lmfao like i get that i do it sometimes but i have this friend who goes on like a 20 minute rant about all the school work they have to get done every time i see them and i don’t know how to be like “hey shut the fuck up” so whenever i see them the first thing i say is “so what are your complaints this time” hoping they take a hint but they haven’t yet!!!!!! but it’s stupid like you’re in university what did you expect??? that it’d be easy???????? you’ve been bamboozled

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the momenti can’t do this i’m sorry. my youtube playlists are very not okay right now and the only things i’ve been listening to that i have downloaded are tinariwen’s new album Elwan and the recording of the rhcp concert i went to that makes me weep on a daily basis

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?anything involving chocolate tbh

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?i don’t know!!!! maybe?? i think it’s possible but i also think ghosts are just an easy explanation for weird shit that can’t be explained otherwise you know??

[godofindecision-blog]

not a whole lot happened today, but it wasn’t a particularly bad day either. pretty relaxing as a whole. i wasn’t stressing out about anything in particular, and got all the mail packed and ready to go, didn’t think negatively about anyone really. so we are making good progress!

i ate a few pieces of chocolate earlier because I was too hungry to wait for dinner, but that was it. everything else I ate wasn’t particularly awful for me. although as a result of being hungry I overate just a tiny little bit, but I was at least aware that I was getting full sooner than usual, so it wasn’t that bad. i think portion control has always been a big issue for me, since I pretty much always skip breakfast (often lunch as well) and then eat an entire elephant at dinner. but i’ve been opting for more healthy choices like eating fruit, seaweed snacks, popcorn, and yogurt and stuff. basically if it’s bread, sugary, or fried (like potato chips, I fucking love chips) i make a point of not eating so much of it, or just avoid it all together if possible (once I start, i cannot be stopped by mere mortals). overly processed foods that are said to be not awful for you like some cereals, I just don’t bother with anymore because honestly it’s too full of carbs and shit to really be that beneficial.

i’ve cut pop, juice, and pretty much all sugary beverages out of my diet over the past 4 or so years. it’s probably one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself. and honestly the reason why this was possible was because I bought myself a set of contigo water bottles. the actual brand is not relevant (but contigos are particularly wonderful inventions). but anyways, it solved the issue I previously had with water bottles in that when I’d suck the water out, it would deflate, and then get my tongue or whatever pinched in the little nozzle (because I was a kid and retarded, and I guess that fear of getting my tongue pinched on water bottles carried over from my childhood). it just made drinking water from a water bottle more effort than it seemed worth. and also in my elementary school, it was sort of a meme (if memes were even a thing back in the late 90′s/ very early 2000′s) to use those gatorade bottles as your default water bottle after you finished the juice (or whatever gatorade actually is, sugar water?) and it had that twist mechanism that opens the nozzle upon twisting and then people would suck some air out, creating a vacuum and sticking their tongue in the nozzle and getting it stuck so they can hang the bottle from just the tip of their tongue. idk why people did it, but i basically did as the romans did for most of my youth. 

but yeah, contigos were something honestly completely unknown to me before I started dating my first. she had a contigo and i thought it was cool (of course, i thought everything she had or did was cool being my first and all i was head over heels for her). she initiated me into the world of ergonomic water bottles. and so i decided to buy one and drink water out of it regularly due to not having to worry about getting my tongue pinched. so i guess i have her to thank for that and i still use contigos and drink water from them regularly many years later, and for the forseeable future.

anyways, I’m happy that i’m starting to adopt a healthier lifestyle. it may not feel like it has a huge impact right now, but i feel like the effects act like compound interest over time. save early and watch your savings get enormous by the time you’re 50 or something. so taking care of one’s health should be treated with the same amount of respect as the notion of saving for retirement.

but yeah, 3 good thing that happened today:

1) I woke up feeling relatively normal, not sad, angry, anxious, etc. no negative emotions taking control of me the moment i wake up is just an amazing feeling

2) I rolled the final elite furniture piece to complete my set (ump45) much earlier than i had expected, and i also got the 3 star limited drop, completing my main task for the event (and she’s voiced by Megumin!!!)

3) I packed up all my mail, and ate relatively healthy today, so taking care of business feels satisfying. tomorrow will be another good day.