#suddenly i was like 'wait does the plot really NEED this' and got bored with writing it

[oflights]

Do you look for the same things when reading and writing Drarry fics? Or do you maybe read about things that you have never written ?

hi! ooh good question. i think so? i mean, for the second question, there are for sure things i've read that i haven't and would never write, like auror fics or like particularly adventurous smut; the latter is more that a lot of people write smut way better than i do, haha.

but yeah, i'd say my reading and writing tastes generally line up well! my favorite thing to read is getting back together fic and that's also one of my faves to write, etc. sometimes i write things because i'm like "there's not enough of this thing i really love and i want to see it/encourage others to write their take too", like most people i think?

this goes both ways, too. i've said before i don't read down-and-out draco so you if you catch me writing it i've probably been kidnapped and replaced. same for fics where draco's like in azkaban and harry's his warden or even just an auror who can decide his freedom or something...anything with that kind of power imbalance is inherently unromantic and unsexy to me and i won't touch it either reading or writing.

[readerwithsalt]

Sun and the Star Review: (With snippets from the book)

Since I just finished The Sun and the Star I’m just gonna say the first thing I have a problem with is the TELLING and NOT SHOWING.

• And I was wondering if anyone thought that they made Will super lame and ooc compared to previous cooler depictions of him. Like he’s supposed to be Super Chill under pressure and the Calm Dude but he’s so WHINY the entire book. He’s constantly complaining, judging, screaming, crying or sleeping. The cool, chill vibe Will had before is gone which was one of the things I liked about him before.

• someone else said ‘Tsats Will thinks there’s something wrong with Nico, something wrong with his personality. Will thinks Nico needs to be “fixed” and “healed” and so he can be “normal” and then Nico will be actually appealing to Will. Tsats Will may love some parts of Nico (or at least thinks he loves some parts of Nico). But there are more parts of Nico that Will finds unsavory or unnerving or scary or unsettling or unsatisfactory or unappealing’ I agree sadly

• Like he tells Nico in the beginning of the book that he’s just as capable of survival as Nico (which I snorted at cause no) and then is the hugest burden I’ve ever seen on a quest EVER in a riordan book. Like Nico tries to lift Will up every time he passes out from ‘lack of sun’ (which is so stupid btw) and Nico can’t lift him up cause he’s not strong enough so he’s constantly WAITING on Will. And it’s really boring to read about how every few seconds Nico has to turn around and let his boyfriend catch up.

I think Will’s character could have shined and been more likable in a completely different plot and quest.

Like, I thought since they weren’t giving Will any weapons that his strengths would lie in being the fast athletic character that didn’t need a magic item in order to show off…

• the whole ‘role reversal’ caretaker thing made Will look completely useless. Nico did 80 percent of the work and Will sadly fell flat. I thought he was coming along to keep Nico safe and to heal him when he got injured but Nico was pretty much doing almost every job. It was like he was riding Nico’s coattails to become a ‘hero’ and prove himself. But he didn’t really prove anything except that he complains a lot when things get rough.

They didn’t give Will a character weapon (even Piper has one and she doesn’t fight that much. Neither does Leo and he at least uses a hammer) they made him exhausted the whole book so he didn’t have his normal physical strength, his backstory was also pretty boring.

• and Will keeps randomly getting irritated at Nico bc Nicos irritated at him. Like?? Your shitting on his underworld home every chance you get. I’d be irritated too.

• in previous books he’s described as an archer. Even tho Leo calls him ‘the archer dude’ in TLH he suddenly doesn’t know how to use a bow AT ALL. He only said he wasn’t as good as his siblings not that he was complete shit at it. Previously he used a bow and had a dagger in BOO. Also will randomly says he never wanted to be a fighter and loved healing but in previous books he’s insecure about just that. Also the book forgets Will is a BATTLEFIELD MEDIC. Like he can fight and heal just like Apollo.

• Will whines constantly. And it’s grating and annoying to read. Either about the lack of sun (you knew what you were getting into dumbass) or the dead people walking around or about Nico’s horrible ‘darkness’ that he has to heal. It’s like he never thinks of Nicos feelings when he says stuff. And there little ‘fights’ end unsatisfactory.

• The vibe of Camp-Half-Blood is nonexistent. It does not feel like camp at all. It feels like we’re in a 12 year olds fanfic mind. ALL of the campers are gone even though it’s been established MANY are orphans and we see no beloved background characters and background chaos that makes us smile like in the past books. It made me surprisingly more depressed than I thought it would.

• it’s also missing the mystique of a quest. Like going up to the big house to have the quest recited around a table full of cabin counselor demigods all fighting to be the third member to prove themself a hero (mostly the ares cabin) no matter how important a quest in pjo was for Percy Chiron ALWAYS enforced certain rules. Even if they broke later on.

• Loose Ends. Reyna is. Not. Mentioned. Once. It never comes up how Nico feels about his big sister friend joining the hunters like his other one did even tho in BOO he tore apart a courtyard cause they took her. The girl whose shoulder he cried into, the girl who was with him during his last quest. The girl who thought of him as a little brother and tucked him in her cape and said he resembled his surname as he slept.

Hazel is mentioned… but it’s literally just a couple shallow mentions that don’t have anything to do with the fact that he may not ever see her again if he revisits Tartarus. He mentions his beloved little sister who was the actual first light in his life (don’t know why the book says Will is) in a long time only once and it’s because he can’t remember something and thinks Hazel would?? It’s weird that he iris messages Piper at the end instead of Hazel. I thought that’s what he was going to do and then it was just a big cringe fest of Piper shoved in at the end talking about the label of her sexuality?? Like we actually care??

And It’s never stated that Nico finds out where Jason is even though HE SHOULD KNOW. He literally talks to Beckendorf and Luke when they die in pjo to find out where they went but he can’t figure out where his best friend is??

Also at the end of the book it says Nico still hasn’t redecorated his cabin even though he told Jason he was going to a YEAR AGO bc the ‘decor was disgusting’ (I think that was the worst loose end not fixed 😂)

Every other relationship of Nicos is thrown away so he can admire Will Solace’s mediocrity. who’s kinda a loser in this tbh….

• The Percabeth scene was weird. What relevance does sally jackson have to Nico’s story? Why did he have to go all the way to Percy’s bedroom to iris message him?? And the fact he uses the ship name Percabeth to describe them (which he’d never done in previous books) proves a cringe fan is the one writing this.

The fact that they don’t OFFER TO HELP Nico is ooc of them. Bc even if Percy wants to chill at college he would never want Nico to clean up his mess without offering his help. Also the fact that Percy turns to Annabeth and says ‘oh man I forgot about him’ is like… WHAT?? And they just say oh yea if anyone can get through Tartarus it’s you two.

To Will who’s never been on a quest and doesn’t fight (at least in this book) that’s a weird thing to say. Percy and annabeth only survived bc they’ve fought together FOR YEARS. And bc of Percy’s big three power. It was just a forced add in cameo. Would’ve been better if they didn’t know till the end that Nico got Bob out and then they suddenly see Bob in an iris message and start crying or something…

• it broke my heart that Nico gave his SKULL RING to Will. The last gift from Bianca Nico ever got and he gives it to someone that doesn’t even appreciate his element.

And what does Nico get in return? A coin. I mean, an engraved coin but still. It’s kinda symbolic of the relationship. Nico giving Will something of such RELEVANCE to Nico’s character, something he’s always described with wearing and then Nico receiving a token in turn.

• Will asks Persephone how he’s SUPPOSED TO LOVE NICO. Like I almost blew up my house with me in it at that part. It never feels like Will is as attracted to Nico as Nico is to him. Nico instigates every kiss (which is ooc of him and his reservedness to touch). It seems Will likes to look at others a lot because one of Nicos insecurities were of him staring at fucking Paolo. While being right next to his boyfriend, Will checks out other people… Like Nico deserves so much better. He at least deserves respect.

I would’ve appreciated Nico and Ghost Jason way more than this shit. At least Jason described Nico better and they weren’t even dating. And I liked Solangelo before this. Will never describes physical attributes that he likes about Nico the same way Nico does about Will. Like Nicos inky dark eyes and baby bat winged hair, and his smile that is apparently like winter sun breaking through snow flurries, and his hair smelling pleasantly of rain against stone (I think Apollo is more attracted to Nico than Will is). But Nico has to call Will hot every five min.

• Also I simply don’t understand the idea that Will being away from the sun would drain him to the point where he can’t keep up with NICO’S WALKING PACE within a couple hours. Like the super athletic, physically strong character that can lift Nico over his shoulders and run with him (and Rachel in TON) walks into the underworld and has to be healed by a stupid portable night light within five minutes.

• Don’t even get me started on his JUDGINESS. I always pictured Will as the guy at camp that thought Nicos powers were cool and stuff, right? And now he just judges every ‘dark’ thing nico does like darkness is synonymous with evil. And only his light can heal him. I HATED that trope and honestly thought they would make him more original. But I have to say it: he was so boring. Like in a way that made my stomach hurt.

• Wills kind of a jerk in this. Like it’s weird to read.

• The PACING. It was off the whole book. The only part i enjoyed was the part where they didn’t know they were dreaming (that part got me) but that was it. But like gorgras scene keeps overlapping with the rest of the story and I kept forgetting my place. The fact that riordan or oshiro or whatever 12 year old fan wrote this put the words FLASHBACK & DREAM SEQUENCE over the chapters gave it SERIOUS fanfic vibes. The pacing is simply not suspenseful enough for a place like Tartarus.

• And do NOT get me started on Tartarus. Okay I’ll say it anyway: it wasn’t scary AT ALL. LIKE ANY OTHER QUEST. Actually it seemed easier than other previous quests which is a big nope. Hades might as well have sent him to Target.

• And about the fact that is was HADES who gave him that prophecy is SO OOC of him. He loves Nico. Nico is probably Hades most favorite child ever as of right now and he sends him horrible nightmares, and a prophecy respouted 12 times to get him to save Bob (whom Hades could care less about btw) and go back to a place that he knows haunts Nico every day MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

Also HOW did hades give Rachel that prophecy? He has no power over the Oracle of Delphi.

• Maria and Bianca MAKE NO SENSE! How in the hell is there any piece of thier souls left when Hades gave Maria ancient rites and was the one soul Nico was not allowed to see and Bianca reincarnated. WHICH WAS FORGOTTEN BTW. NOW SHES BACK IN ELYSIUM?? Like?? Like maybe I could see Hades letting Nico see a piece of Maria but Bianca is literally GONE forever.

Nico was ooc. Like not too badly but still bad. But the fact that Will didn’t let Nico shadow travel even once irks me. The fact Will didn’t let him summon Jules Albert irks me. The fact that Will kept brushing off nicos feeling about the underworld irks me. The fact that Will called Persephone the most beautiful PERSON he’d ever seen right in nicos face and then asked his (insecure) boyfriend if he was jealous irks me. The fact that Will is BORING AS FUCK irks me

• And the COMING OUT story. Horridly ooc. Nico shouting to the whole camp he’s gay and getting all the other kids to come out too is like??? and apparently he asked out Will before Will had even come out?? Nico would NEVER do that. Especially since not long before Cupid had done the same to him. And apparently Nico is like the first out character in a MODERN GREEK camp with DIONYSUS as a director. No.

In character Nico would’ve shadow traveled back to his cabin or the woods the moment he figured out what was happening.

• the nicknames are extremely cringe. Little ball of darkness is used to much and it made me itch. I think Will simply calling him babe or something would’ve been simpler and made them seem more like a real couple instead of a caricature of light and dark.

• ‘he’d always been the demigod who WOULDNT eat.’ ………..what the actual fuck is this. Nicos always been naturally skinny but being starved in jar is what messed up his hunger. Not that he WOULDNT eat. Why is everything always his fault in this book?

Like, he didn’t ‘LET’ himself get to the point of starvation over and over. I mean first of all he became homeless at ten years old, probably had to steal food items. And most recently he got KIDNAPPED by TWO GIANTS and starved forcibly. And then when he got out he was under so much stress of what just happened to him in Tartarus, the war with Gaea, his forced outing, and having to lug an enormous statue ACROSS THE WORLD. but nah, I guess he just LET all of that stuff happen to him

• the references are BAD. Out of touch bad. Unfunny and the joke never becomes a joke. It’s never explained how a kid from the 1930s knows how to use the internet and look up lil nas x in a camp that doesn’t use any technology. Doesn’t explain how Nico knows about Care Bear powers (I didn’t even know that) and the beginning scene with the Star Wars ‘joke’ set a weird tone for the book and wasn’t even funny.

• I hated the cocoa puff demons coming to live with Nico. Like I was fine they got created ig even tho it was weird and kinda dumb but the fact that Nico is so keen to have his worst memories and insecurities sleep in bed with him makes no sense once again. In character Nico would’ve burned them with hellfire.

• Also Nyx is a unfathomably weak villain. A PRIMORDIAL GODDESS that even ZEUS fears is taken down in two seconds. Also she’s just trying to get Nico ‘accept his darkness’. WHICH HE ALREADY HAS DONE. The moment he called himself The Ghost King in battle of the labyrinth at eleven years is when he truly accepted his powers and who he was. So… why is she even in the book in the first place??

• Also Will STILL insists it’s Nicos fault he wasn’t accepted. And that it was all in his head….

Also Micheal Yew was simply never mentioned again. Neither was lee fletcher. If they were I missed it.

There were a COUPLE of cute parts and lines but really this is simply too weird (and bad) to be canon to me. This book is just not canon. I see it as fanfiction from a random author that riordan probably let write the entire book or at least most of it. I think sadly riordan put his name on this for money and for fanservice because the writing is first draft material.

(And it kind of feels like they got this version of Nico and Will from cringy meme posts about them. Like, you know the ones where Nico’s all like ‘I am darkness, i am a vampire’ and Wills all like ‘come on, my uwu baby, no more shadowtravel for you, doctors orders~’ 🤣😭)

just because they thought that’s what the twelve year olds wanted and not realizing that a lot of those posts are simply made as a joke and not actually taken seriously in canon…. And that most people in the fandom thinks those are bad cringeposts

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

OMG that Rule of Wolves ending was a total Deus Ex Machina! Leigh Bardugo really destroyed ALL the magical system's balance so her favorite could become a God, Avatar, mindreader, emotion reader, and dragon (ironic because LB was a Dany anti for GoT) with no consequences! But Alina, with ONE power just trying to take down the Fold = GREED = STRIPPED OF ALL POWERS. It makes no sense, and causes migraines to think about how LB destroyed all the worldbuilding for poorly thought out wattpad ending.

Thank you! I was beyond frustrated too. Her magic system is like a mirage in a desert- it exists one moment and then vanishes the next minute. It does not help that she plays favouritism with her own characters. Zoya, Nikolai and the crows are clearly her golden children. Aleksander is her scapegoat child. For the sake of her golden children, she bends the plot and swathes them in plot armour. However she refuses to offer any sort of redemption or even decent plotlines for her least favourite ones.

Just the other day, I was lamenting about this in another post. Let me share my fav deus ex machina other than the ones mentioned in the original post.

1)SoC: Began well- foreign country, jurda, everything at stake, heist etc etc. After the disaster of the trilogy, I was excited to read something different. However, the climax just made me want to fling the book to a corner. So Jarl Brum knows the partial truth from Matthias, knows why the crows were there. But somehow they got away scott free. Like yes, Nina made some soldiers fall asleep, but doesn't Fjerda have a navy? Isn't Djerholm not a harbour? Do they not know the ship name? Do they not know how long the jurda effects last in Nina? And yet all Brum did was stomp like a villain at the end of scooby doo saying, "If it weren't for those meddling kids!" and did nothing. They literally attacked one of the most powerful country's capital, blew up a part of their palace, and stole a tank! Somehow destroying a bridge was all it needed to stop an army! And at the final standoff, the soldiers were just put to sleep not killed. even if Kaz was just a day ahead, the fierce Fjerdan navy should have caught up to them. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ But no... Nina attacked them with parem. Suddenly nothing can be done. It's like Fjerda is this formidable enemy when LB needs it to be and then become a bunch of helpless idiots when her favourite characters need to escape!

2)S&S: Ivan's death or literally any Grisha death on the Darkling side. They were very dangerous and battle experienced one moment but somehow were nothing compared to two sword weilding mercenaries. With convenient plot devices, the man who is literally the oldest and the most powerful Grisha in Ravka, was defeated and left at sea- no doubt hit by LB's idiot hammer. The man literally created THE FOLD for god's sake!!! And yet he and his army of well trained Grisha were defeated in a matter of minutes.

3)Nikolai: The whole Nikolai spiel was that he is the 'good' guy. He desperately wants the throne but instead of doing anything about it he was literally waiting for his big bro to get bored of it and throw it to him. That was the 'most clever fox's' brilliant strategy. Because that's what good boys do. Only evil, dark wizards create a coup.

And when the plot doesn't move forward, the easily-defeated-at-sea Darkling, is suddenly a raging powerful villain who conveniently kills Vasily and hands the good boy his throne.

I could go on and on. She butchered her own universe and is fixing them with cello tapes.

[wiihtigo]

………i would like to hear your thoughts on Earthspark starbee….

help. ok. VIEWER BEWARE YOURE IN FOR A SCARE bcuz the reason we call it the starbee 900 parter is bcuz we kept adding side plots and getting lost

and also agent schloder is really integral to the whole thing

suddenly got self conscious so i will readmore this one

ok so the two key players. are hashtag and agent jon "no H" schloder.

hashtag is hacked into ghost security cams bcuz she wants to record footage for her B roll in some movie shes making (not important cuz it gets thrown out in 2 seconds here) and accidentally sees a tension filled interaction between starscream whos still in ghost jail and bee whos with agent schloder (who is deeply deeply in love with bumblebee) (important) and star is acting all haughty to see bee like look whos come crawwwling back after all these- who is that. (Starscream doesnt remember the faces or names of fleshlings unless theyre inconveniencing him on a deeper level than just being in his way when hes trying to walk) and starts acting weird abt bee and schloder and bee is like Oh gross does he think we're........ew. WAIT. I CAN USE THIS TO FUCK WITH STARSCREAMS EMOTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOOOOORAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!

(pictured above: skywarps germaphobia being activated thinking about an organic lifeform and a cybertronian dating)

so bumblebee goes along with this misunderstanding because its making starscream really mad and its funny to see him get so upset. all the while the real victim here is schloder whos getting led on by this yellow car he actually is in love with and now thinks he has a chance with (very played for laughs, schloder is comically ignored and fighting 1000 battles by himself in the background of starbees tense and steamy interactions)

we pan back in at the malto base and see hashtag slack jawed having witnessed all this. Could it be...no.....really? NO.....REALLY? BUMBLEE....AND STARSCREAM? TOGETHER? NO. (her fujo mind picked up on the vibes immediately while schloder remains comically oblivious to whats going on with them)

her initial boring movie plan is thrown out the window as her new project takes priority: A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THE REAL LIFE LOVE AND LOSS OF A RELATIONSHIP CROSS FACTIONS (if you remember frommm season 1, one of the movies she was super into was on this very topic- forbidden romances excite her..) and in doing so she believes she can FIX THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!

from there the episode splits into the hashtag plot and the schloder plot of self discovery

star and bee are still at ghost arguing their hearts out and occasionally hashtag will pop in with some different movie making style or invasive question to ask before one or both of them tell her to GTFO (she tries an interview section where bee gets up and leaves immediately after she brings starscream up, she tries narrating over their fight like a nature documentary, she badly dubs over their muted screaming faces with dialogue of her own of them making up, things like that)

and while that goes on schloder (under the impression bumblebee wants him and he needs to lock in fast so he doesnt mess this up and lose his chance with the coolest autobot around) wanders aimlessly stuck in his own head until he wanders right onto the maltos property. the kids ask him whats wrong and he says vaguely he needs to get ready for a date because he has someone he REALLY wants to impress....

the kids do a dress up montage with schloder at the barn dressing him up in all sorts of wild ways and give him an array of bad and weird advice for his date

dorothy finally catches wind of what her kids are doing and comes in like agent schloder..take off the hot dog costume. listen to me. just be yourself and whoever youre trying to impress will like you for you. and if they dont its their loss. and schloder is like my god youre right. thank you mrs malto ill be sure to get bumblebee now!!!! and then her and all the kids after hes run off are like ".....BUMBLEBEE?" (scene end)

he bursts into ghost with a bouquet of roses ready to claim his love and hashtag is like oh hi agent schloder do you wanna check out what i have of my movie??:) and he sees all the pink heart edited filters around footage of them screaming at each other and the YTP audio mixed STARSCREAM I- love, You! sentences hashtag edited together to make them say and falls to his fucking knees in despair and heartbreak.

hashtag oblivious to how she just ruined this mans life, doesnt notice as he shuffles away sadly with his head hung and feet dragging. he goes on a montage journey of self discovery, climbing mt Everest and meditating under a waterfall at the peak. he smiles and lets a single tear fall watching the sunrise and you know hes achieved inner peace.

he comes back and that hes emotionally moved on and is so happy for him and his ugly fucking boyfriend hes serious. bumblebee snaps out of it for a second and realizes what hes been doing and the autobot guilt hits him and hes like aahhh. im sorry for how i was acting that was really jerky of me. you didnt deserve that. and starscream is like "its about time" and bees like "dumbass i was talking to schloder"

so schloder and bee get ready to leave and starscreams like whatever im not even mad WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!(still fuming at him about to leave with the human ) and bee riding this high of apologies is like "By the way, i was never with schloder. stupid" before leaving ss to process that. (who just goes What the HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at the door angrily after him)

a rare moment of kindess from bee to starscream....marking..a slight shift in their relationship? change is ahead...?

hashtag is like Huh. well i guess they worked it out without my help?

also forgot to mention brief joke is that megatron has been cooped up in the security room watching this over the cams for hours because he thinks its hilarious

so the moral of the episode for the kids is to not do what hashtag did this entire episode.

from then on...we saw it like.....youll occasionally see starscream and bee talking in the backgrounds of things or mentioning each other or exchanging a few words here and there. basically it happens off screen and in the background them getting back together LOL

"but what about their terrible g1 breakup...did they ever talk about that again..? ;_;"

basically....thats not important anymore to them. theyre old and tired and the war is over they kind of just silently agree to Lets just step over that and move past it fresh

and also starscream has done 100000 things worse since then during and after the war so.

bonus drawings of this beautiful world

after that. in a perfect perfect world. wow. imagine . we get the starbee wedding 29 parter at the end of the series.

thats. yet anoher episode we played out in our minds. its like a blend of earth and cybertronian customs to appease their human friends

but the main course event is the kids putting on a play reenacting how starscream and bumblebee MET DURING THE WAR. directed by hashtag who never learned to mind her own business. but the joke is that none of whats written in the play is true because they dont actually know how it happened or anything so its just completely based on guesswork which leads to a very evil and strict optimus played by mo who grounds bee for life in the basement for daring to be in love with a decepticon. leading the real optimus whos in attendance to go "NO...THAT NEVER HAPPENED...I DIDNT KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'"

many such jokes like this play out. and at the end of the episode we get to see in a flashback how it all really happened and a peek into some of their more genuine intimate moments g1-ified. because we as the viewer arent supposed to know how all that happened either. i just told you in a tumblr post earlier cuz i was asked and none of this is real.

ok. thats our earthspark starbee vision.

(takes my final breath)

[cheiyunn]

La fin du rêve [Part 2]

[Gyroaxia’s live]

Tomoru: Everyone, over here! Ah that’s good, everyone is here together

Felix: It’s been a while since we saw Gyroaxia’s live, and since the chance has come anyway 

Jun: The admission and goods lines were crazy too… it feels like… there’s an increase in fans

Daimon: Speaking of which, they’re apart of the label that invited us here right?

Tomoru: Yes, apparently it’s called ‘Dreadnought Music’. Later on we’ll need to meet with the representative Mashu-san.

Felix: I see. So they have already taken the first steps into becoming pros then

Koharu: …hm..

Felix: Oh? It seems they’re about to start

-Gyro on stage-

Nayuta: Nothing will change, we’re still us. Killer stage.

-Killer stage plays-

Mashu: Pardon me. You are Fantome Iris, yes?

Felix: Hm.. you are?

Mashu: I am the one who invited you all here today, my name is Mashu.

Tomoru: Ah, you’re Mashu-san then? Thank you for today, I am Kurokawa, the person who received your call

Mashu: Ah, Kurokawa-san? Thank you for your work today

Tomoru: It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Kurokawa, who plays the guitarist LIGHT. Actually I’m a member, rather than a manager. When on stage I’m in makeup, but normally I’m just a plain salaryman, so I look rather boring now…aha…

Jun: I’m also often told that I’m different off stage too… ahaha..

Mashu: Is that so.

Tomoru: eh..this person doesn’t seem to laugh much… maybe even a bit gloomy… but something about this person… it’s like I somewhat recognize his face…

Mashu: My apologies for not introducing myself earlier. To reiterate, I am the representative of Dreadnought Music, Mashu Shintaro

Daimon: Our pleasure. My apologies, there was one more of our band member who was here, but he had left earlier on

Mashu: Is that so, then I hope to greet him at a later time

Tomoru: Hm? …Mashu…Shintaro…?

Felix: What’s wrong Tomoru?

Tomoru: Um.. is it possible that maybe back when you were in elementary school, you went to Nagoya for just a month? In grade 5, group 1, the seat in the very front.

Mashu: Yes, what about it?

Tomoru: I knew it! Its me, Kurokawa Tomoru! You’re the transfer student who had really bad eyesight so you had to sit next to me, Shintaro-kun right?

Mashu: Indeed. It’s been a while.

Tomoru: Woah… stuff like this really does happen! It takes me back, what a coincidence! Have you been good?

Mashu: Yes, thanks to you. Anyways, in regards to the proposal of action I had spoke of to you all.

Tomoru: Ah, right

Tomoru: Wait I was just brushed off super quickly…! Thinking about it, compared to how he was in elementary school, the current Shintaro-kun is really different… he used to be so timid and  nicer 

Felix: Hm. Let's hear it

Mashu: I’ll get straight to the point, we would like to invite you to work under our label.

Tomoru: Hold on. Invite as in…?!

Mashu: In a fashion similar to Gyroaxia, we at Dreadnought Music would like to fully back Fantome Iris in both your pro debut and future activities.

Tomoru: That is…well… but, why?

Mashu: We watched you at LRFes, and believe that you all have the ability and skill to equate going professional.

Mashu: However, after the sudden cancellation of the event, the support given by Duck River was also suddenly cut, no?

Daimon: Yeah

Mashu: It's befitting action for that company, a truly foolish decision. With this current suggestion, there is no plot or trickery at play here. It is simply that we at this newly built label wish to welcome only excellent bands.That is all from me, I would be grateful if you took consideration to this positively.

Felix: An unexpected proposal indeed. I got it, we’ll think about it.

Mashu: We appreciate it. And also, Kurokawa-san.

Tomoru: Ah, yes?

Mashu: Is it okay if you stayed back for a while. There is one more proposition that I wish to discuss with you about.

Tomoru: w-what is it…

[Street]

Koharu: That song… ‘Fairytales are full of shit’ huh? Ahaha, its almost if that was said to us 

Koharu: but hearing that lyric I…

Koharu: …? Hm? Hold on you’re Asahi right?

Nayuta: Hah?

Koharu: You probably don’t recognize my no-makeup face but its me, Fantome Iris’ Mitsurugi! I saw your live just now, but is it really okay to not go to the after party?

Nayuta: …what bull

Koharu: Ahaha, its really like you to up and leave on your own~! Well same goes for me too

Nayuta: I don’t care. If you don’t have anything else I’m leaving.

Koharu: Ah hold it..! At least lemme talk about my impression…!

Nayuta: …what

Koharu: The one you sang on stage just now, Killer Stage right? I just thought that it really echoed the current situation with Fantome

Nayuta: so what about it? You wanna bitch about it?*

Koharu: That ain’t it, you guys are going to make your pro debut right? Putting whatever you wanna say in your lyrics and music, and running straight on into an unsure future…y’know…I’m pretty envious of that youth of yours

Nayuta: ..hm. Then you guys should do to

Koharu: We can’t do shit with just momentum, theres a lot of other things, y’know with being an adult…

Nayuta: and thats related?

Koharu: hm?

Nayuta: Thats the same as living right now

Koharu: …

Nayuta: I’m going my own way. You all can do whatever you want

Nayuta: (softly) Your music wasn’t that bad either

Koharu: ahaha! I wasn’t asking for your sassy remarks either…! Knowing that our music is good, is something that we all know the best about

Koharu: Our way of living is different huh… when I get back, we need to really need to talk, all 5 of us, need to head this on

[Fantome iris sharehouse]

Tomoru: My apologies for keeping everyone waiting, I just got back

Felix: Welcome back, Tomoru

Tomoru: I got a message that everyone was waiting from Jun, did something happen?

Daimon: Not really, Koharu just asked us to have a drink while talking. After you wash your hands, sit over here

Tomoru: I see, okay, thank you.

Koharu: My bad for rushing you, but having the atmosphere here all thorny for any longer was just… by the way, I just heard about the invitation to join the same label as Gyro

Tomoru: Thats right, after that Shintaro-kun- ah no I meant Mashu-kun, spoke about how they really checked our activities post LRFes, and were waiting for the right time to speak to us

Jun: If we were still with Duck River, they wouldn’t have been able to make a move either so…

Koharu: So that means our small activities weren’t for naught after all then

Koharu: aha, so? What were you answers?

Felix: We have yet to reply. Until all 5 of us, including you give the OK, we won’t move forward

Koharu: hmm.. So thats how it is

Felix: …Koharu

Koharu: what?

Felix: I’m glad your asking us out but, was there something you needed to discuss with everyone?

Koharu: ah… well.. Thats, its not like I don’t have anything to say but its more like…after watching Gyro’s live today, I wanted to talk with you all

Tomoru: I get that, to watch them who used to be our rivals at some point, it feels like I won’t be able to sleep tonight

Jun: …yeah, me too. When I get back, I feel like practicing my guitar rather than playing games

Daimon: It was a complicated live in a way. On one hand it was a good live, on the other, looking back at ourselves, it also felt like we can’t just be standing around idly either. And then there was the discussion of a pro debut 

Felix: It seems that the discussion of what we should do from now on has come

Tomoru: Its really a dream come true situation but still, its best to discuss thoroughly it first

Koharu: Thats right, then Tomoru. What do you think?

Tomoru: I actually have one more thing to report. Its a separate thing from what we discussed with Mashu-kun but

Daimon: Ah, the thing that he called for you alone right?

Tomoru: It was a sudden question but he asked if I would like to change employment to the label instead

Jun: Is that that headhunting thing?!

Tomoru: Wait no it’s not that big of a position, it’s not as engineer in the first place but rather as Fantome’s manager

Koharu: Woah seriously? Talk about abrupt.. Even if its a crazy proposition, what do you think?

Tomoru: I haven’t clearly thought about it enough yet, but I do intend to put it into consideration

Felix: That means that you’ll quit your current job? With how much you held onto it despite how demanding it got, its just a tad surprising

Tomoru: Thats what I was planning to do as well. But just recently, there was also the request of if I wanted to step up as the leader of a new project too

Daimon: A promotion you mean then. Then that means you thought that you’d be even more busy than now so you’ll quit?

Tomoru: No, the company has become less ‘black’ than before, so I thought that if I became leader, I would have more days off. That's why until now I had thought of simply taking it.

Tomoru: At the same time, the subordinate I was looking after recently got commended for work

Jun: Is that subordinate possibly the one that was a fantome fan that we brought with the president over to our secret live? 

Tomoru: That's right! In the beginning he was wasn’t able to too much but in order to see more of Fantome’s lives, he worked hard enough to even change the air around the company too

Tomoru: ‘To think that he’s grown so much’ was what I thought, and how all of it was now one step behind me. And that he would be able to do well as the project leader too.

Tomoru: Work as Fantome’s manager to me, is really an unknown world. It was something that had never crossed my mind but now more than ever do I want to dedicate more time to the band, so its worth a shot

Koharu: Worth a shot huh…

Tomoru: It seems super busy and a pain but there was the feeling of warmth that grew within me too

Koharu: Thats right, because you’re living

Tomoru: Yes. Its as they say, its better to do it and then regret, rather than regret not doing it. Then I want to do the best I can for the band right now.

Koharu: I get it. Y’know, I also thought it too and yeah, I really love Fantome. And I don’t want to give up on both the band and my current work either. Being the root of the problem right now it ain’t really my place to speak but still, no matter how hard it gets in the future, I want to protect this band. Even in the off chance we end up breaking apart, I’ll always go and rebuild Fantome as many times over. Thats just how precious it is to me, this place where I can make music with you all.

Daimon: Yeah, I feel the same way

Jun: Koharu-san… Daimon-san…

Koharu: Feli. Lets hear what you have to say too

Felix: …At this time being, the glass in front of me is empty, now why is that?

Koharu: Huh? What's with this all of a sudden, its because you drank it right?

Felix: aha well that is also true but… well then, why do you think I have a right?

Tomoru: The right as in left and right…? Is it related to how LIGHT is the king's right hand man? Hm… what is it then, is this a sort of riddle?

Felix: I’ll give one more hint then. Why do you think that death exists?

Jun: …! Is it because I’m unlucky

Daimon: No way, that’s not the subject either 

Daimon: I give up

Felix: That is because a being to contradict it exists as well. Because there is a state where glass is filled, does the concept of one’s body come to fruition. Because there is a left, a right exists. Because (human) nature exists does the concept of death persist alongside it

Tomoru: …I see

Felix: So basically, because the world of fantasy exists as the opposite of reality, it can be established 

Felix: Because we live in reality, can we bring forth a world of fantasy, is what I think

Koharu: Its befitting of us right

Felix: Yes, at some time Tomoru had said so, when I had asked why he continued to work at that company. You answered that the part of you that worked with others and experienced it was a important piece to bringing forth your music 

Tomoru: Yes, I remember that

Felix: At that time I couldn’t grasp it but now I think I do. Getting off the stage, and becoming the us that work hard in reality, is the reason why we can present and create such a dreamlike performance 

Jun: um.. I mean, I’m the only one here without a proper job though… I’m sorry…

Felix: Jun, you are both kind and possess this form of delicateness. But when you’re on stage, you become a directly opposite being. You too, possess two different faces.

Jun: …ah- how embarrassing..!

Tomoru: Don’t be~, since its something that only you can pull off

Felix: Thats why to me, this place that we’ve created is… ah no, it seems that I’m unable to put it into words, forgive me

Daimon: Jun, how about you give Felix that thing

Jun: t-That's right! Um, Felix-san, this…

Felix: …? This is?

Jun: Um… I made a new song… its out of line, sorry…!

Daimon: He said that if he made this in the sharehouse, it might concern both you or Koharu, he was coming to the cafe to work on it. While he was making the song, it seems that he was looking forward to you adding the lyrics

Jun: With this melody, you can add the lyrics on top, so then me, and Tomoru and Koharu-san and Daimon-san can perform and then… I want to perform this on stage (voice slowly drifting out) 

Felix: …

Jun: …how is it? If it isn’t good enough I’ll rewrite it how many times over you want!

Felix: No, its a good song Jun. Its truly befitting of us now.

Felix: It seems I’ve felt it once again, how I always am Fantome Iris’ number one fan.

Felix: and that the love for us that created this world, no, the for world that we brought forth, is love from the bottom of my heart

Felix: For adults like us, we know well the difficulties for chasing a dream and how eternity may not be obtainable. To anyone, there is only one chance to live. And in the far future, when this life has long burnt out, our dreams will finally reach an end. But as long as there are people who love the music that grants our dreams, will our dreams become eternity. And for that eternity I wish for.

Koharu: and is that, your honest feelings..?

Felix: Yeah

Koharu: Ahaha! For gods sake!

Jun: UWAH! That scared me…

Koharu: My bad my bad~ As always, your way of speaking talks circles~

Koharu: To sum it up, “let's keep doing music together” right?

Felix: aha, I’m not the best at expressing my feelings, you of all people should know that

Koharu: Well, if the king says so, there’s no defying right? Since we need to make a place for humans and vampires to live in harmony after all~

Tomoru: Yes, as the king’s right hand man, no matter how far, I’ll still make music

Jun: p-please don’t leave me behind though

Koharu: Of course you do too, Daimon?

Daimon: The one who called forth the vampire king, the clergyman and the only human, D. For I have a duty to protect you all after all. From now and forever

Felix: Yes, this truly is the 5 of us

Tomoru: Well then, since everyone’s glasses are empty, lets do a cheers!

Koharu: Lets go! Hold up, all the sake’s gone though

Felix: There’s a special wine saved for an occasion like this, that someday we would get to drink, right Daimon?

Daimon: Yeah, the thing that you had stored away carefully right

Daimon: You sure?

Felix: Yes, it was saved for a day like this anyway

--Wine bottle appears--

Jun: Uwah! An expensive looking wine has appeared!

--Wine pours--

Tomoru: So then, Feli-san, lead us off

Felix: To us, who shall continue to live in both the world of fantasy and reality, à votre santé!**

Tomoru: I look forward to working with everyone from now on!

Jun: ..I-I’ll do my best…

Koharu: Good to work with y’all again

Daimon: Yeah

Felix: Everyone, thank you

Koharu: Yo, Feli.

Felix: What is it?

Koharu: This… from all the alcohol I’ve drank so far… this one was the best

Felix: Aha, that's true for me too

[Backstage]

Jun: a-a-a-am I good?? It seems that I’ve lost contact with my hands and feet?!!

Tomoru: I’ve been telling you that you’re fine… you seem more nervous than usual…?  You’re breaking out in cold sweats y’know…?

Jun: w-well because at today’s performance Mashu-san is also watching right?! What if I flub it and the talks of joining the label drop so there’s a surge of pressure right now why is everyone else so calm what

Tomoru: Well because we just need to do as we normally do so…

Daimon: Jun. Once we enter a label, there’s the chance of performing at an even bigger stage than this you know.

Koharu: yup yup~ big stages, and even possibly going up against other bands, so don’t be freezing up now. But some strength into it!

--Koharu smacks Jun on the back--

Jun: OW I THINK SOMETHING BROKE

Daimon: If that's the case then I’ll put your bones back in place, go face back

Jun: AaAaA Its okay now!

Felix: It seems everyone is very lively 

Koharu: But still, saying that we still wanna continue our normal live while working as a band is something not many would say right

Daimon: Well normally, many want to focus solely on making music after all

Tomoru: Mashu-kun was also very surprised as well, but its very on brand for us. But if today’s live doesn’t do as well then maybe the contract will really become void…

Jun: Oh there you go again with putting pressure on me~~~

Koharu: Well it’ll be fine~

Felix: Indeed. As long as we act ourselves then there is no problem

Tomoru: Ah, its almost time

Felix: Then let us depart, to the stage where everyone awaits us…!

[Stage]

FELIX: My subjects, to see everyone’s faces at today’s soiree after quite a long time, is quite pleasing to me. Our journey has led us to a new world. From now forth, new sights that one has never seen before shall lay forth, if you choose to follow there may be a harsh path along the way. However, no matter how many times we fall, we will never let this journey go, no matter how far we go, will you follow us? 

-Audience cheers-

FELIX: Thank you. Next up is a new song, please listen to it.

Felix: As long as our followers are with us, we will continue to live in this dream world, and continue to delivery this fantasy

Tomoru: In this never-fading fantasy, as our hearts are lit ablaze

Jun: We will walk forward to our goal point

Daimon: and now, we shall open a new door

Koharu: To protect the flowers that will bloom further away

Felix: Our name is Fantome Iris. Now in this spot, shall we make a pledge to eternity!

______

[Fantome Iris sharehouse]

Koharu: *Yawns* Good morning, well its expected that no ones awake anyways

--Koharu writes something down--

Koharu: This’ll be good, well then, I’m off!

--Koharu leaves--

Tomoru: Good morning!

Jun: …good morning…

Felix: Tomoru, Jun, good morning

Daimon: Morning. Tomoru, weren’t you on paid leave today?

Tomoru: Well thats, this morning, Mashu-kun, no, Mashu-san asked to meetup. Something about stuff to learn before entering the company

Felix: I see, so its almost time

Tomoru: Yes, no matter if he’s an old schoolmate, now its superior and subordinate after all. I need to keep my words and how I call him in check. 

Felix: Its very Tomoru-like

Jun: Because he was moving around, even I woke up despite it being the morning…. Uwah, the sunlight from the window… it stings

Jun: ..?

Tomoru: Something wrong? Hm? There’s something left by the window… it seems to be a potted plant and a memo?

Daimon: Its Koharu’s handwriting. “Flower’s bloomed” is what is says

Tomoru: Ah! You’re right, its very small but it’s started blooming, here!

Felix: Ah.. Its very beautiful, it seems to be a late-blooming flower then, aha, its truly like us

Jun: Its very beautiful

Daimon: It naturally makes you want to smile 

Jun, Tomoru: Yeah

Tomoru: …wait, I need to go NOW!

Daimon: Hey, at least drink some soup

Jun: Um, it looks like you socks are mismatched, is that okay?

Tomoru: Woah! B-but I have no time!

Felix: Could you wait a bit, Tomoru?

Tomoru: eh? Whats wrong..?

Felix: Could you put this toast in you mouth and run out? Just like in anime or manga and then you bump into someone when turning the corner

Daimon: Haha, indeed

Jun, Tomoru: Hahaha

Tomoru: Hold on, this isn’t a time to relax!

Felix: Send my regards to Mashu

Jun: Have a safe trip

Daimon: Be careful okay?

Tomoru: Okay! I’ll be off!

_______________

**: The french version of cheers

* : I’m not sure if this comes off too harsh

[ashketchupppp]

I literally created both a Twitter account and a tumblr account just so I can get my bkdk fix. *cough cough* as if my handle didn’t give it away. Now idk if anyone will read this but I just need somewhere to quite literally dump my thoughts bc I have been nonstop chatting my partner’s ear off and I know he’s hella fucking over it. He’s just too nice to tell me to stfu and I don’t have any friends who are into anime/manga. I never intended to write something myself but I just need to put my thoughts out there. Don’t expect anything analytical from me because that ain’t who I am. I just made the accounts to be a spectator and selfishly consume all of your talents out there who feed my longing for bkdk content.

A quick (yet not so quick) backstory - I got introduced to MHA on a whim. It all started back in October of last year (2022) when my partner decided to start watching the anime. He’s an avid manga reader but had never watched the MHA anime. He played it on tv while I went about my own interests and hobbies. But one day the plot caught my attention and I vaguely remember it was during the sports festival arch and I was hooked ever since. He also only watches sub so I found myself more hooked on it since I couldn’t just listen to what was going on. I had to watch so I could read the subs. Something that suddenly was just his became our thing and shortly after that very much became my thing. I needed to keep binge watching just to see what would happen. As he warned me that at the rate we were going at we’d be caught up I panicked and was like how will I get my fix?! To buying the manga we go! I bought both the physical volumes to prepare myself ahead of time. Christmas rolled around and having just gone on vacation where 90% of the people at our resort were reading (including my partner on his kindle) I felt left out for not taking a book. As a Xmas present he bought me a kindle and loaded it up with all of the MHA volumes.

It wasn’t until January 6th that I picked up the manga (since we were all caught up and waiting for real time episodes of the anime to release). Work was slow and I found myself bored at my desk so I decided eh why not kill that boredom and read. I started from the very beginning as I missed out on details having strapped myself along for the ride in the anime a few episodes in and being told that the anime doesn’t always cover every detail of the manga. It took me 20 days (less actually bc I took a week or so break to restart the anime to watch those details I had missed out on) to read the entire manga and catch up to real time chapter releases.

I was going through a big depressive episode a couple weeks back and nothing brought me as much joy and comfort as MHA did. So I blasted through the manga. I caught myself just wanting to readddddd to catch up to the action and what was currently going on as I had run into a couple of spoilers courtesy of the IG algorithm that caught onto my newly found obsession with MHA.

However, after catching up on reading I realized I both knew what happened but I also felt like I didn’t? Like I just read so much and had to process it all that I was like I need to go back and read and take the time to actually digest it. It was at this time that I was just also kinda over the whole pitting Ochako and Deku as romantic interests plot. When I watched the anime (and read the manga the first time) I thought they were cute. So awkward, clearly just HS kids learning how to be around those of the opposite gender and developing crushes. So naive. Really took me to thinking of those HS days where you crush on someone. The anime in particular does a good job at selling this to you and so did the early stages of the manga (something I noticed after I started my second reading).

However, as I re-read and re-watched I couldn’t quite put my finger on why it bothered me so much. Suddenly, something that was supposedly laid out to be obvious didn’t feel so obvious and the lack of development from that romantic plot sizzled and was very much one sided and felt forced and out of place.

It was a random post that came across my IG feed (again, hello algorithm) about bkdk. At first I was like it’s cute, but I don’t see it. But as I kept going through my second reading I was like wait, no. I can see it. I would come across all of these cutesy fan art accounts and posts of the two and idk why but it gave me butterflies?! At this point it was just that, running into and seeking out fan art of the two as a couple. But then I started thinking, ok the fan art is cute but is there more out there other than fan art? Not sure what I was really after I googled something really simple like “are bakugo and Deku really in love” and low and behold I ran into tumblr accounts that actually analyzed the manga and connected the dots for me.

I’ve never thought of myself to be a strong reader. I mean, yes I’m a strong reader in the sense that I don’t stumble on words when reading out loud and can get through books. BUT what I mean is I was never one of those students who did well in English class and especially when we had to annotate and analyze books and writing samples. I could never really dig into the text and see the obvious themes and subtext that everyone else, including the teacher, did.

So having ran into these tumblr accounts posting their analysis of the series I just felt a moment of eureka! Like I’m not crazy. People see this in the same way I do but just more factually and analytically. And this isn’t a ship because it’s cutesy. There’s so many intricate and complicated yet delicated layers to their relationship which is why it makes it so much more believable.

Anyways, here I am writing this because I have been suffering from bkdk brain rot for the past like week and it’s only getting worse. I feel like Cady from Mean Girls - where I spend most of my time talking to my partner about bkdk and MHA. And when someone else (him included) is talking I wish they’d bring it up full on knowing they won’t because they don’t care it or aren’t into anime/manga/MHA.

Thank you to all of those accounts that have given my substance and have kept my bkdk obsession fed. I don’t know much about the manga world or Shonen (as I’m a noob) so idk if Horikoshi will go through with it but I’m rooting for bkdk. As a straight female I am soooo over your classic boy meets girl and they fall in love storyline. I’m also the girl falls in love and suddenly is sidelined as just their partner and their potential as a character gets deduced to just that. If this truly gets revealed to be a love story between Izuku and Kacchan I will literally never shut about out it. I will scream, cry, throw up out of happiness. If it doesn’t happen I will quite literally become feral and scream into the void for who knows how long. I’ll even take Hori not making Izuku and Ochaco canon. Not hate against those who want that and like it, everyone is entitled to their opinions. But I just cannot see it and don’t want it to be established.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[writer-motivator]

sometimes you have an idea. sometimes you have an idea that u really want to get down and you do…. and it’s not at all. what u think it’ll be like and you *dont* like it but u DONT want to scrap it so you have to figure out what is bothering you. 14:20 like man, it’s sometimes really easy just having some an idea and not turning it into fic. anyways, talking about the body switch aos wip. like urgh, it’s more confusion in the first parts and that. makes sense. like if she wakes up, suddenly, in a diff environment and him *different* she’s going to be confused! but…. I don’t like at all, exploring that. tbh, I don’t think I know what I wanted this idea. it just seemed like such an appealing concept I needed it so bad. but if I wanna make a fic out of it, I need to crack it open and dig in and see what i want from it.

like I really need to think about it instead of whimsically thinking about it vaguely — like yeah, the concept is so good. BODYSWAP? waking in the past, but she doesn’t know that, and the interaction of indirectly with this person that she only knows through memories (not even KNOWING that it’s her) but I didn’t think of the physical: okay, so we got body swap but… what happens when she wakes up in it? what pov is it in? yeah, it would be better if it was from his pov but i want to write in her pov (because his is hard and just. wanna be in her head) but then if i am doing this from the beginning, which I want, then i have to explore her going through it.

and then: what… do I want from this plot?

and that’s where things fall apart. I don’t care for anything else. I just wanted the concept but I can’t *write* a concept, I need something with it! Which is urgh…. So Annoying. But I’m so determined to make something out of this idea, it’s just! To good! I just… have to decide what I want to do with it.

Like. Hmm. When I think of the actual reality: of exploring her being in another persons body, that person’s body specifically, it’s so incredibly boring to me. it’s just something that I don’t care for. so confusing honestly WHAT I want from this concept/idea lololol. sigh. did I really just find the fjfjfj concept only of bodyswap appealing and complete… 0 on everything else???? jfjfjfjf. wait. what if I think of this being as like. another moment in time, instead of the training arc. mmmmh. okay. that’s a thing. 14:30

wait, wait, wait. I was looking back at the doc. and you know, what. things might actually be interesting and good from his pov. like it does make me go a lil urgh thinking about how I have to explore through his character if I’m writing his pov, which I’m really… not interested at. but I don’t… have to make it *about* him. Like it could be his pov, but ABOUT HER. idk that doesn’t make sense and I honestly don’t know if it does but well. I’ll see how it goes when I try to apply it…. But at least it’s a START, hey.

[duckymcdoorknob]

This is gonna be the first time I request from you and I hope you don't mind :))

An emergency request pls. So, i have this tendency of talkinga a lot, principally when its about something I really enjoy, one thing that is normal to happen when I talk too much is people interrupting me out of nowhere and never letting me finish, any time someone does that I just feel like crying honestly, and of course that happened today and no one seemed to notice. Could I have a scenario with Saiki where his partner normally suffers with that?

It's okay if you don't want to, have a great day :))

Hi of course you can!! Thank you for requesting!

Sorry about the long wait lmao I have a couple (like 10) of these in my inbox

CW BELOW THE CUT: Reader is ignored :(

𝐾𝑢𝑠𝑢𝑜 𝑆𝑎𝑖𝑘𝑖

Saiki had begun to notice how your demeanor changed quickly.

But he didn’t exactly know why.

Yes, he could read your mind and it could all be over. But he wants to try to be an “emotionally attached” boyfriend.

So he waited for you to come to him.

Except… that didn’t exactly happen.

Fortunately, you were both sitting at lunch together, friend groups merged.

Kaido and Nendo had found themselves talking to some of your friends about some nerdy movie they were all into.

Kuboyasu and Toritsuka had engaged in a board game with two more of your friends.

That just left you and your boyfriend.

While you were content with just talking to your lover, you had recently gotten something you were very excited about.

“Guys look!” You chimed, pulling the item out of your bag.

Everyone turned their attention towards you, eyes seemingly interested in the object.

When you held it up and displayed it with a proud look, they let out a few ad-libbed reactions.

“Yep! It’s something from my favorite show.” You cooed with a beaming smile.

From that point on, you began to explain the major plot points of your favorite show. Hitting every interesting fact about it.

Your face was simply lit like a Christmas tree as you enthusiastically explained every aspect.

“And then the main character had to-“

“Hey did anyone take Sensei’s quiz earlier? I totally got a 55!” Kaido chirped suddenly, resulting in laughter from the group.

You immediately snapped your mouth shut and sunk back into your seat, lazily prodding at your lunch.

Ah. This again.

The group was chattering away happily without you…

“Well? Then what happened?” Saiki asked in a monotone, resting his chin on his knuckles.

“Wh-“

“You never finished your synopsis.” The pinkette continued, “And you seem quite invested in it, so fill me in.”

“It doesn’t matter, Saiki.” You replied with a forced smile, “It’s just me blabbering like I always do.”

“Your passions aren’t blabbering. I want to know what else happens, since I might watch this show.”

You sigh and shake your head, “I promise it’s just me ranting about the show. Nothing you can’t look up on the internet on your own.” you mumbled out the last part and turned your face away from him.

“(Y/N), hey. Look at me,” Kusuo demanded, gently taking your hand.

You return his gaze with tear-pricked eyes. “What, Kusuo? They don’t even care about what I have to say. They don’t even know I’m crying right now, I bet you.”

“It doesn’t matter what they think; you have me. I will always be invested in the things you tell me. My life is pretty boring, so your little quips about things I don’t know about are my favorite thing about you.” Kusuo said softly, rubbing his thumb along the base of yours.

“Saiki-“

“So please, continue your story.” He said with a slight smile, “There’s no need to feel ashamed in sharing the things you love. Those things make you special, and I love to hear about them.”

You shook your head with a smile, wiping your teary eyes.

Soon your eyes returned to their prior sparkling form, finishing your rundown.

Saiki was actually entranced too!

At first he was just giving verbal reassurances. Your classic “yep.” “Yeah” and “uh-huh”s

But then? It switched to “No way.” “Wait seriously” *gasp*, “oh my god.”

He most definitely knew what you two were going to do for your next date.

—————♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎—————

[blue-labcoat]

16. Was he wearing his vest?

summary: when spencer gets shot in the field, reader flies out and the team finally finds out that they’re together. reader gets a little frustrated at taking care of a bored and impatient spencer, but it’s out of love. 

genre: angst, fluff and a sprinkling of smut, 5.0k

warnings: hospital/ICU, gunshot wounds, major surgery, coma, short discussion of reid’s drug problem, choking (non-sexual), dressing changes, autopsy, smut (penetrative sex, dirty talk). also it’s poorly edited.

series masterlist here

a/n: ok first of all, I tried my very best to make the medical stuff accurate, but I really have no clue, especially when it comes to recovery times. also, I stole a tiny part of this plot (coma) from season 4 of bones. I feel like the ending is a little abrupt, but it was getting kind of long. 

It was mid-November, and Spencer and I had been living together for nearly two months. We had almost been together six months, and we were planning on telling the team about us at the end of November.

Spencer was away on a case, and so I was spending some extra time at the lab. It was a Saturday afternoon, and I had just finished up an autopsy on a suspected suicide when I received a phone call from Hotch.

“Hey, Hotch,” I answered.

“Hi, y//l/n. I noticed that Reid changed his emergency contact to you?”

“Yeah, we did that about a year ago. Just figured it made more sense, since I’m not always on cases with you guys.”

“Right.” He paused, and immediately, I knew something was wrong.

“What’s wrong, Hotch? Why do you know that I’m Spencer’s emergency contact? Did something happen?”

“I don’t want you to panic, y/n,” he said calmly. “You don’t need to come out here if you’re busy; the rest of the team is already here.”

“Hotch. What happened?” I demanded. I could already feel myself spiraling. I could not lose Spencer. I just couldn’t.

“Reid was shot twice in the abdomen and chest area. He’s in surgery right now.”

I felt like the floor was dropping out from underneath me. “Was he wearing his vest?”

Another pause. “No.”

I sat down at my desk. My head was spinning. This could not be happening. He was going to be okay. My panic suddenly transformed into needing to do something – anything – and I sprang into action.

“I’m going to fly out,” I told Hotch, already grabbing my jacket and go-bag. “What hospital are you guys at?”

“I thought you’d want to come. I pulled a few strings; if you head to the FBI airstrip, I’ve arranged for a helicopter to fly you out here, directly to the hospital.”

“Thanks, Hotch. I’m on my way now,” I told him, already leaving the building. I would text Millie on the way. “Hotch? I need to tell you something, but you can’t tell Spencer I told you, okay? He says that you knew, when it happened, but he never outright told you and I don’t want him to think that I’m betraying his trust, or something like that, but it’s important for his health.”

“What is it?”

“I need you to tell a nurse, or someone, to mark in his chart that he does not want any narcotics or opioid analgesics for pain management. It’s very important to him.”

“y/n, I realize that it’s important, but he has two gunshot wounds. He’s going to be in a lot of pain.”

“I know. I’ll discuss alternative pain management with a nurse when I get there, but I need you to promise me that you’ll tell them just in case he gets out of surgery before I get there, okay?”

“Got it. I’ll go talk to the nurse now. See you in a bit.”

I hung up, and pulled out of my parking spot. I broke just about every traffic law on the way to the airstrip, but Hotch was true to his word – there was a helicopter waiting there for me when I arrived.

45 minutes later, I arrived at the hospital. I rushed down to the waiting room where the rest of the team was, searching for them.

“y/n!” I heard Emily calling my name. I ran over to them.

“What on earth happened, you guys?” I demanded. “How did this happen? Why wasn’t Spencer wearing his vest?” I felt the tears start to well up, but I willed them away.

“We can explain that later,” said Rossi calmly. “It can’t change anything now. Why don’t you go ask the nurse if you can talk to one of the surgeons? I’m sure they’ll be able to give you more information about his condition than any of us could.”

I nodded frantically and ran over to the nurses’ station. She had a junior resident come out and explain to me what was happening.

“Your colleague is actually very lucky, all things considered,” the surgeon told me. “He was shot twice. The first bullet would have torn through his left ventricle, but it got lodged in the fourth rib, which effectively saved his life. We’ve removed that bullet already. It’s the second one that’s going to be tricky – the bullet is lodged in his liver and is causing quite severe bleeding. He’s got a grade II laceration. We’ve got our best trauma surgeon working on him now, and he’s handling the surgery well.”

I thanked her, and returned to sit next to the team. It would likely be a few more hours in surgery.

“You guys need to explain to me how this happened,” I begged. “Did you at least catch the UnSub?”

“We did,” Hotch replied. “He’s being processed with the local PD right now.”

“Listen, Doc,” Morgan started. “You know how Reid is. He was sent in to bargain with the UnSub, and we all told him – don’t take off your vest. He didn’t listen to us, and the UnSub shot him because he perceived Reid as a threat, even without the vest.”

I took in a breath. “I need to tell you guys something.”

Everyone looked at me expectantly.

“Spencer and I weren’t going to tell you yet, but I’m not going to spend the next few hours, days, whatever, pretending that I don’t feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.” I took another deep breath. “Spencer and I are in a romantic relationship. We’ve been together for almost six months, and we moved in together about two months ago. And, before you say anything, I know you guys have a pool about this, but please, just don’t do that right now? Spencer – he… he could die. I love him, and I just need your support right now.”

“Of course, honey,” said Emily, squeezing me around the shoulders. The rest of the team nodded sympathetically.

“Wait, aren’t you guys more surprised that we’re dating?” I asked, looking around at everyone.

“To be honest, we all pretty much knew. We just didn’t have proof,” explained Penelope.

“Oh, I had proof,” piped up Hotch.

“What?” Everyone turned to him.

“Yeah, you guys know how Reid moved apartments a few months ago? Well, he listed me as a reference, and when the landlord called, he asked me if I knew Reid’s girlfriend. I told him that I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend, who he proceeded to describe as a ‘very kind lady doctor, y/n’. That pretty much confirmed it for me.”

“Wait, you’ve known for two months?” I asked, dumbfounded. He nodded. “Why didn’t you say anything to us? Does this mean I can still work in the field with the BAU?”

“There will be some HR paperwork to fill out, but yes, you can still work in the field with Reid.”

I mustered up a smile and a ‘thank you’.

 Several hours later, Spencer’s surgeons finally emerged from the OR and came to talk to us.

“Hi there, I’m Dr Lautner, head of trauma. You must be Dr Reid’s colleagues?”

We all confirmed.

“I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that we were able to successfully remove all the bullets, stop the bleeding, and repair all of Dr Reid’s gunshot wounds. He’ll have a bit of recovery ahead of him, but I’m ultimately pleased with how the repair went.”

He paused, but none of us said anything, waiting for the bad news.

“The bad news is that he seems to be having some kind of reaction to the anaesthetic, which has caused him to fall into a coma.”

For the second time that day, I felt my heart drop into my stomach. The surgeon kept talking, about how he’d likely wake up within the next few hours, at the most a few days, but I could barely hear anything he was saying.

“y/n. y/n, are you okay?” I heard JJ asking me.

“Can I see him?” I asked the doctor.

“Of course. He’s currently in the ICU, I’ll have a nurse take you. If you have any other questions, please let me know.”

We followed a nurse to Spencer’s room in the ICU.

“Oh my god,” I exclaimed when I saw him lying in the bed. He looked so small and was intubated. His face was slightly bruised. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes again. I had seen a lot of bad things between my time in the hospital and my time as a forensic pathologist, but I had never been on this end of the situation before.

“Have they done an EEG yet?” I asked the nurse.

“I don’t think so,” she responded. “I’ll send a neurologist down to talk to you.”

She left and I approached his bed. The rest of the team crowded into the room, solemn looks on their faces. Penelope had silent tears streaming down her face, and even Hotch’s usually stern expression was cracking.

“What, uh… what will an EEG tell us again?” Asked Emily.

“It will show us his brain activity,” I explained. “If there’s no brain activity, he won’t likely wake up. That probably won’t be the case, seeing as he doesn’t have an actual brain injury, but they should still be monitoring how his brain activity progresses during the coma. Just to make sure it’s not decreasing.”

“When he wakes up, will he still be… Reid?” JJ asked.

“Probably. But no one will know for sure,” I said, beginning to cry again with the thought of Spencer without his infodumps and statistics.

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay,” said Morgan, coming over and giving me a one armed hug. “Why don’t you stay here, and wait for the doctor to come down. I’ll go get some of Reid’s things, and I can pick up whatever you need, okay?”

I nodded. “Can you bring me his books? There’s some evidence that coma patients can hear what’s going on around them, so I can read to him. Even if he can’t process it, I know – I know he’d like it,” I said, my voice cracking.

“Sure. Did you need anything else? Something to eat, maybe?”

“I’m not hungry,” I muttered.

For the rest of the day, the team took shifts staying with me in Spencer’s room. Emily was the last one. It was around midnight when she got up.

“You should come back to the hotel and get some sleep,” she told me. “You can stay in Reid’s room, or mine, if you don’t want to be alone.”

“That’s okay, Em. I’m just going to sleep here, but thanks.”

She looked at me, concerned. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Thanks for staying so long. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I was exhausted. A hotel bed actually sounded quite lovely, but I couldn’t bear the thought of Spencer waking up and no one being here. I curled up in the chair next to his bed, and fell asleep holding his hand.

 Two days post-op

Two days after I had arrived at the hospital, there had been no change in Spencer’s condition. They were starting to discuss transporting him home, since his actual injuries were getting stabler.

I hadn’t left the hospital since I’d gotten there. Penelope and Emily had both lent me some clothes, and the team all brought me food a couple times a day. I’d showered once in Spencer’s bathroom, but other than that, I hadn’t left his side. I read to him, most of the time.

Around 6:00 on the third day, I was chatting with JJ when Spencer started to choke.

“Oh my god he’s choking! Get a nurse!” I told JJ. A team of nurses came in and quickly removed his breathing tube. I was beaming, and JJ looked at me like I was crazy.

“Isn’t that bad?” She asked.

“No, quite the contrary! It means he’s breathing on his own. It means he’s starting to wake up!” I exclaimed. Her features brightened immediately, and she got Hotch on the phone.

A few minutes later, the rest of the team was in his room. Spencer was breathing on his own, but he hadn’t woken up yet.

About thirty minutes later, his eyelids fluttered, and he slowly opened them.

“So… bright,” he croaked, squeezing them shut. Rossi dimmed the lights, and Spencer tried opening his eyes again.

“Did you - did you catch the UnSub?” He rasped out, throat dry from being intubated.

“Yes, we did,” Hotch nodded.

Spencer looked at me. “What – when did you get here?”

“Hotch called me while you were in surgery. You’ve been in a coma for three days, Spence. You really scared all of us,” I told him.

“I love you,” he said, eyes widening when he realized his mistake. “I mean-”

“It’s okay, I had to tell them. I love you too, Spencer,” I told him, leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“You guys are so cute!” Squealed Penelope. “I have so many questions about this, but I’m so happy for the two of you!” Everyone chuckled, but the sentiment was genuine.

“We’re glad you’re awake, Reid,” said Hotch. “We’ll give you two some privacy.”

Once everyone left the room, I turned back to Spencer.

“You really scared me, you know? You can’t take your vest off in the field. I thought we discussed this!”

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t think he was going to shoot!” He defended. I glared at him playfully, and he held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, fine, maybe it wasn’t my smartest move, but they got him!”

“Yes, but you were shot! You could have died! You have to stop acting like your life is expendable, Spencer. I… I depend on you,” I admitted. “I don’t know what I would do with myself if I lost you, especially if it was caused by something that could have been avoided.”

He looked sheepish. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s a good thing I love you so much,” I continued, motioning for him to scooch over and climbing into the narrow hospital bed next to him. “Also, I know we weren’t going to tell the team yet. But I didn’t want to bother trying to hide how upset I actually was, so I just told them.”

“I’m glad you told them. Did Hotch… did he say you could stay in the field?”

“He said we’d have paperwork to fill out, but not to worry about it.”

 5 days post-op

A few days later, Spencer was discharged.

“So, you’ll need to see a physical therapist for a bit. Wait at least four to six weeks before any intense physical activity – your doctor at home will be able to give you a better estimate – but make sure you’re still getting up and moving around. A short daily walk would be good. And, you’ll need to be cleared by a bureau physician before you can return to active duty, and I’m going to say you should wait at least 8 weeks before you do,” the doctor explained on our way out. “You should change your dressings or have someone do that for you once a day for the first couple of weeks.”

Spencer thanked him, and we all headed home. On the jet, the team finally began to ask questions.

“So, explain to us how this finally happened,” Morgan asked once everyone was settled, gesturing between Spencer and I.

“I mean, it wasn’t really anything exciting,” started Spencer, glancing at me with his lips pressed together in a small smile. “It was the night of the case we went undercover together on, right after we went home. That’s pretty much it, honestly.”

“But tell us more!” Pleaded Penelope. “Like, how do you guys spend your time together? And what’s your apartment like?”

I laughed. “There’s not that much more to tell, Pen. We spend time together the same way we did before we started dating, just reading and watching tv, sometimes going to museums, or movies. And, our apartment is amazing, for the record. You guys will all have to come over when Spence is better.”

Penelope beamed at us. “I’m just so happy for you guys!”

 When we were back home, Spencer began to crash.

“Let’s get you into bed, Dr Reid,” I told him, taking his bag and setting it on the kitchen table. “I just need to change your dressings and then you can go to sleep, okay?”

“’m not tired,” he mumbled, walking towards the bedroom anyways.

“Even so, you should get some rest. Your body needs the energy so that you can get better quicker, you know that.”

“Mhmm. Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time I’ve been shot.”

“Exactly. Change into your comfy clothes, and I’ll be right back with some new bandages.”

When I came back, he was lying on top of the covers in a pair of flannel pajama pants with his eyes closed and his arms folded across his chest. I giggled at the sight.

“Why are you laying like that?” I asked, approaching the side of the bed. He peeked one eye open.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re in a casket,” I said, laughing. Spencer just shrugged his shoulders and gave me a grin.

“Fix me up, Doctor,” he said, repositioning his arms to his sides and closing his eyes again. I started to remove bandages over his liver, and he flinched, then his eyes snapped open. “Did you wash your hands? One study reported that 38% of sampled series showed contamination during dressing changes, and that was only studying Staphylococcus aureus, Pseudomonas aeruginosa, Acine-”

“Hey, Spence, calm down,” I cut him off. “Of course I washed my hands. What kind of doctor do you think I am?” I said it in a joking tone, but I could see that he was legitimately distressed.

“I’m sorry, I just… germs. You know.”

I leant down to place a kiss on his forehead. “I know, baby. You don’t need to worry, though, okay? I promise, I washed them like I was scrubbing for surgery. Did you want me to put gloves on?”

He hesitated, but shook his head no. “I’m ready, now,” he insisted. I worked quickly and carefully, removing the current bandage, cleaning the wounds, and then redressing them.

“There, all done,” I declared when I was finished, tapping his chest lightly. “Time for you to get some rest, okay? I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.” I pulled back the covers so that he could crawl underneath them, and leant down to give him a kiss before leaving.

 One week post-op

A few days after we had gotten home, I was stepping out of the shower when I heard Spencer moving around in our bedroom.

“What are you doing?” I asked him as I walked into the room. I was getting ready for work, but it wasn’t even 7:00 and Spencer didn’t have anywhere to go.

“I’m getting dressed. I’m going to go to work,” he replied simply.

“Um, no you’re not,” I replied, walking over to him. “Spencer, you’re still in recovery. You still need to get lots of rest.”

“I won’t go into the field or anything, I just thought that I could work on consults, or help Hotch with some extra paperwork or something. It’ll be totally fine.” He continued to sort through the closet, searching for a cardigan to go over his dress shirt.

“Spencer, stop. Look at me.” I grabbed his arm and waited until I had his attention. “You can’t go into work today. Letting your brain rest is part of helping your body recover from the physical trauma it sustained. Maybe, maybe next week you can go see your doctor and ask about going back for some desk work, but less than a week after you were shot, had surgery and were in a coma for over two days? I don’t think so, mister.”

“But… I’m bored. There’s nothing to do all day,” he complained, pouting. “I read, and watch tv, and play chess, and go for a little walk every day. I did the laundry, and I tidied up the living room. I even walked to the library the other day, but I’ve done everything!”

I sighed. I knew how he felt – I hated being bored. It was one of the reasons that we were both good at our jobs. “I know, Spence. But please, I need you to listen to your doctors, if not me. The sooner you go back before your body is ready, the longer it’s going to take for you to get better. Why don’t you try learning something new?”

“Like what?” He grumbled. “I already know a lot of things.”

“Why don’t you learn how to knit? I’ve got lots of yarn that you could use, and just about every needle size. Why don’t you pick a project and learn to knit, and then you can work on the project until it’s time for you to go back to work.”

“I’ll think about it,” he muttered, still pouting.

“Hey,” I said, tilting his chin so he was looking at me. “I know it’s hard. I’m here for you if you need anything, you know that?” He nodded.

“Can I have a kiss?” He asked. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck to pull his face down to mine for a kiss. It started out sweet, but after a moment he deepened the kiss and his hands travelled down my back to grasp at my ass.

I pulled away, chuckling. “If you’re not allowed to go to work, what makes you think that you’re going to get any loving this morning? The doctor said at least four weeks.”

He let out a dramatic sigh. “How am I supposed to last that long? Nothing about this is fair.”

“I don’t know. Maybe that’s something you can figure out when you’re bored. At any rate, I need to start getting ready to go here. I’m going to be late.”

“I’ll put on some coffee,” said Spencer, leaving me alone to get dressed.

 Three weeks post-op

Two weeks later, Spencer went back to work with strict orders from his doctor and myself that he was not to accompany the team into the field, or on any cases that took them away from home.

On his first day back, I drove him to the office.

“Be smart, okay Spencer? Just… please don’t do anything stupid,” I told him as he was getting out of the car.

“I have an IQ of 187. I’m very smart,” he replied cheekily.

“Well, you do a lot of stupid things for a very smart person with an IQ of 187. Like taking off your vest in the field.” He didn’t have anything to say to that, so he just leaned in for a goodbye kiss and gave me a wave.

About two hours after I got to work, I was in the middle of an autopsy when my phone rang.

“Would you mind picking that up, Tim?” I asked.

“It’s Dr Reid,” he informed me after answering the phone. I looked up, worried.

“What does he want? Is everything okay? If it’s an emergency, I can be at the hospital-”

“He says it’s not anything urgent, just to call you when you’re done,” Tim said.

“Okay, tell him it will probably be about another hour,” I replied, my panic dissipating.

 As soon as I was finished the autopsy, I called Spencer back.

“Hey,” he answered. I could immediately tell that something was off by the tone in his voice, but I didn’t know what.

“Hi. You called earlier?”

“Yes. Don’t be mad, okay?”

I sighed. “Spencer, did I or did I not tell you when you got out of the car this morning to not do anything stupid?”

“You did. But here’s the thing – I was just very glad to be back at work, and I may or may not have told Hotch a tiny fib, and then I told him that I would call you so he could talk to you, except you couldn’t talk which was my plan to begin with, and so then he just said okay because he didn’t want to put up with me anymore, and-”

“What did you do, Spencer,” I said.

“I got on the jet. And we just got to Boston for a case.”

I didn’t say anything for a minute. I was upset, but it was more just me being worried about Spencer’s health than being actually angry, and I didn’t want to say anything I didn’t mean.

“Can you put Hotch on, please?” I asked. I heard Spencer talking to Hotch in the background, and then Hotch greeted me on the phone.

“Hey, Hotch. I don’t know what Spencer told you, but he was not cleared to travel with you guys. There’s not really much you can do now that he’s there, but can you at least try to keep him at the precinct? He absolutely cannot be chasing UnSubs around in the field.”

“Of course. I was surprised when he said that he was cleared to come with us, but he said that his doctor and you were both okay with it, and he was all ready to call you to prove it. We didn’t really have any time to waste, so I just told him to come. I’ll make sure that he stays out of the field, though. I know it’s important to his recovery time.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “I don’t mean to be overbearing, it’s just that, well… someone has to take care of Spencer. And apparently, it’s not going to be him.”

“Don’t worry,” Hotch assured me, and I thought I might hear a small smile in his voice. “I’m glad he has someone to look after him.”

I blushed, and thanked him again before he put me back on with Spencer.

“Are you mad?” He asked.

“No,” I said honestly. “I’m just worried about you, Spencer. Please, please be safe. If not for your sake, for mine, okay? Promise?”

“I promise, y/n. I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you, too, y/n.”

 Four weeks post-op

I woke up with Spencer’s arms wrapped around me from behind. I shifted gently, not quite wanting to get up yet. It was a Saturday anyways; we had the time to be lazy.

When I stretched back against Spencer, I felt a distinct hardness against my back. I began to pull away, but his hands moved down from my stomach to pull my hips back against his.

“You’re awake, then?” I muttered, my voice still clouded with sleep.

“Mhmm,” he hummed, moving his head to the crook of my neck and beginning to place soft kisses up and down. I sighed in pleasure.

It had been almost six weeks since we’d had sex – four weeks since he was shot, plus the week and a half that he had been away on the case before ending up in the hospital. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried to make advances before now, but I knew better than to cave in. Especially when his stitches were still at risk of ripping. However – his stitches were dissolved. He was doing well in physio and was set to be back in the field within two weeks. Maybe a little gentle morning sex wouldn’t hurt.

I began to roll my hips back against his growing bulge, and his hand travelled up, under my shirt to grasp at my breast.

“If we don’t stop now, I might not be able to,” said Spencer in a gravelly voice in my ear.

“Don’t – ah! Don’t stop then,” I replied as he tweaked my nipple between his thumb and index finger. “Just – try not to overly exert yourself, okay?”

Spencer hummed in agreement, but I’m not sure if he knew what he was agreeing to, because as soon as I told him not to stop, his hand was travelling back down my stomach and dipping under my sleep shorts.

“God, you’re so wet,” Spencer groaned, dragging his fingers through my arousal and up to my clit. I moaned loudly and rutted back against him.

“I need you, Spence,” I begged. “Inside me, now.”

He let out a soft moan at my words, rubbing his painfully hard cock against the swell of my ass. He removed his hands from my shorts just long enough to pull his boxers down, then pulled the crotch of my shorts aside and slipped into me.

“You feel so fucking good, wrapped around me like this,” Spencer rasped out.

I whimpered at his words and the feeling of him stretching me out. I wanted to tell him the same – that he felt amazing, filling me up like that – but once he started moving, I could barely remember my name. His fingers travelled back to rub small, fast circles around my clit. I was already embarrassingly close to the edge, and Spencer could tell.

“You gonna come for me, pretty girl? Hm? You like the feeling of me stretching you out like this? You want me to fill you up?”

I nodded, whining. “Please, Spencer, oh – oh my god, fuck, yes!” I cried out as I came, my walls fluttering around his dick.

He sped up his movements, thrusting harder into me for a few more seconds before stilling deep inside me and coming.

“Shit, y/n,” he groaned, breathing heavily next to my ear. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss against my neck as he slipped out of me. I flipped over so that I was facing him, still catching my breath.

“I really missed that,” he said, giving me a lazy grin.

“Maybe you could use that as incentive to keep your vest on in the field, hm?” I joked, reaching up to pinch his cheek lightly. He scrunched his nose at me, but leaned closer for a kiss anyways.

“You’re incentive enough,” he whispered against my lips, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’d do anything for you.”

Previous -- Next

[holden-caulfield]

Desperately

↪︎ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

SUMMARY: reader and blaise are partners in potions class and he lets something slip about a certain friend of his.

WARNINGS: none i think!

WORD COUNT: 1513

A/N: this is my entry for @simpology 's writing challenge with the prompt "Oh, and he's wretchedly in love with you"... hope this is good :)) the plot is kind of confusing but just go along with it

"Do you have the instructions?" asked a nonchalant Blaise Zabini as he settled next to you, letting his bag fall down next to his chair.

"Of course, yes. We'll need-"

"I know, i've already picked everything." he said hurriedly as he placed several bottles and containers on the table, surrounding the boiling cauldron at the center of it.

"Oh! Ok... we can start then, we'll have to add-" you interrupted your reading as you noticed Blaise already pouring a non-specified quantity of some green liquid into the cauldron.

You eyed him curiously as he continued the potion-making on his own.

"Why did you ask me about the instructions if-" he raised his index finger in front of your face, successfully shutting you up and irritating you at the same time.

He poured another range of ingredients in the cauldron and began mixing, finally raising his eyes at you.

"Now we can talk about important things." he stated, not stopping his movements.

"You just interrupted me twice in the span of 5 minutes, what could be possibly more important than the potion that Snape is going to grade today?" you asked with annoyance audible in your voice as you crossed your arms in front of you.

"Don't worry about the potion, it's going splendid. We have far more important matters to discuss." his calm voice was doing nothing to soothe you, instead doing just the opposite.

"And what is that?"

"You." he announced, remaining as stoic as a statue.

Your eyes widened at the mere syllable that had just left his mouth.

"Me? And what about me?"

"Not exactly you, more like your current situation." his eyes bored into yours with such coolness you wondered whether you were the daft one there.

"My situation? And what-"

"Your sentimental situation." he cut you off. Again.

"It's the third time you do that."

"And you keep on posing questions but i'm the one that should be asking and we don't have a lot of time. Do you know Draco Malfoy?"

"What does that even mean?!" he raised an eyebrow at you, unimpressed, and you simply scoffed. "I'm not interested in whatever game you are playing right now, Zabini."

"Just answer my questions, y/l/n, i swear there is a point." he continued stirring the concoction, eventually dropping new ingredients. You sighed but decided to play his game.

"Yes, yes i know him."

"How would you describe him?"

"Zabini, i swear, this isn't making any sense, can you-"

"What did i say about asking questions?" he scolded you. You rolled your eyes and narrowed them at the boy in front of you.

"Fine. He's blond, tall-"

"Not physically, you idiot." he scoffed and you smiled to yourself, which made him eventually soften his gaze.

"He's a slytherin and..." you didn't know what to say. You obviously knew about his past actions, he wasn't exactly well-seen at hogwarts.

"And?" he asked expectantly.

"And i don't know, he's not the nicest person around, i think."

"Interesting." he muttered, almost to himself as he got lost in his own thoughts. "What do you think about me then?"

"You? You are like him, aren't you?" you asked, smirking as you did so.

"I don't know, i'm asking you." he said, returning the smile with playful eyes. You scoffed and returned to your potions book but Blaise snatched it our of your hands. "We were talking, weren't we?"

"We were supposed to brew a potion, weren't we?" you asked, mimicking his previous sentence while taking back your book.

"I got that under control." he added other ingredients and at this point you were wondering whether he knew what he was doing or whether he was improvising just to talk to you. "So, me and Draco are the same, correct?"

"Actually," you said while trying to find the passage in your book, "i hope he has half the patience i have or he should have hexed you ages ago."

You skimmed through the pages but you couldn't find the right ones. Blaise grasped it again and hid it behind his back, earning the most choleric stare you could muster.

"Or maybe i don't. I'd love to see him hex you. Know what? I might do it myself."

"Now that's a wonderful idea." your eyes widened again and, furrowing your eyebrows, you just stared at the boy i front of you, wondering what had happened to him. "But i had something else in mind. Why don't you go take your book back, we might need it."

You switched your gaze from his own eyes to his hands and noticed that he had no longer the book, instead his wand, pointed towards one of the other tables of the class. A table you noticed had two copies of the same book on it, meaning one had to be yours.

"What game are you playing, Zabini? Do you even know what you're doing there?" you asked, pointing to the concoction.

"I don't, so you better get your book back if you want to fix this." he said and you could feel anger boiling in your chest at the smugness of the slytherin.

You marched towards the table, exasperated.

"Oh, and y/n?" you turned around while walking, eyes still flaming with annoyance, "he's wretchedly in love with you."

You couldn't process the new cryptical information as you bumped into someone. You immediately returned your eyes to the front of you, finding a tall blond there, holding your book in between your bodies.

"Is this yours?" he lifted slightly the book but you were speechless. What had Blaise just said? "Cat got your tongue? I'm asking if this is yours..."

Your eyes darted from his to the book several times before settling on the latter.

"Yes! Yes, it is." you finally spoke and heard chuckling coming from behind you. Blaise.

Draco handed you the book and you took it slowly, still unsure of what your next move should have been.

"Wait!" you said, a little louder than you intended to but enough to catch his attention as he was returning to his own workplace. "Do you- uhm..."

He stared at you, waiting for you to finish your sentence but it was not as easy as it sounded.

"Do you want to switch partners?" you managed to let out, visibly confusing him.

"You want to be with Nott?"

"With you actually... Blaise said-"

"Blaise said what?" he suddenly got more serious, his irises darkening as if you had just created a storm.

"He said-"

"I said you are the best at potions and she needs help. Desperately." Blaise came up from behind you, laying his hands on your shoulder, still stiff from the embarrassment but it immediately vanished as you heard the voice, leaving its place to irritation.

"I do not need help and most certainly not desperately." you stated indignantly and the blond in front of you let out a small chuckle, earning himself an angry look from you too.

"I'll leave you to it then." he said smirking and you quickly grabbed his arm to prevent him from leaving you with Blaise.

"Please no, i can't bear another minute with him." you pleaded, which made the blond suppress a chuckle and his friend roll his eyes, clearly annoyed.

You stared at him for a moment longer as he did the same, almost as if time had frozen.

"Well... i'll leave you two to it" Blaise began to make his way to Draco's previous working table, "maybe you'll finally be able to tell her about your crush on her, huh?"

Draco's head whipped towards Blaise as fast as lightning, a panicked look ruling over his features. His best friend kept going, leaving the two of you alone, speechless.

You stared at him and he stared at you.

"I like you too-"

"He was kidding-"

"Oh." you both said in unison.

He stared at you and you stared at him. No more words were exchanged, just looks.

"You like me?" he asked tentatively.

"He was kidding?" you retorted, slightly hurt and embarrassed now.

"That depends."

"On what? On how ridiculous i must look right now?" you continued, the embarrassment turning quickly into annoyance.

"On whether you really like me or not." you were still unconvinced, his face unreadable as you tried to look for an ounce of sincerity in his silvery eyes, "Because i do like you, y/l/n."

Your brows still furrowed, you stared at him inquisitively.

"Were you the one kidding?" he asked now, suddenly self-conscious, letting out a single dry nervous chuckle.

You scrutinized him a little longer, noticing his confidence wavering and his patience thinning from the way he was looking at you.

"I wasn't." you finally stated, smirking at the blond boy in front of you.

He furrowed his brows too, the corners of his mouth hinting at a slight smile. But the sharp hit on both of your heads delivered by professor Snape made you both hurry back to your table.

"Get back to work."

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[secretbangtnn]

Best Of Me| Two

Pairings : →ot7 x reader, poly!BTS x reader

Genre : → vampireau, yandere!au, age gap, gore, obsessive behavior, ddlg/caregiver, poly, fantasy, supernaturals

summary : It’s quite unusual to find a little baby on your doorstep, especially that their area was not of the poorest - you could say that a vampire town was efficient with money and snobby creatures. However over time the first idea of just giving back the little girl seems more and more radical and those moody vampires slowly start perceiving deeper feelings to human they even wanted to kill.

previous | next

notes ~ I did it!!! Omg im so happy I finished it, hopefully the next one are going to come sooner. The first chapters are going to be with a baby oc - im sorry if its boring, but after it we can start with the real plot, the things are gonna get dark. Hope that you will like it, and remeber to give me some feedback - im whore for a comments and ask and beside they motivate me very much

taglist :

@missseoulite @gukkculture @silscintilla @the-falling-star @apollonshootafar @mwitsmejk @lovinggalaxies @b-e-t-x-s-o @jisoosbitch @ariverflowsonthemoon @maboiisuga @peachescream1723 @sichajeon

Cries everywhere. Sobbing so loud that all the birds disappeared from their little birdhouse outside the window. And as funny the view was, a big ball of stress and nerves started collecting itself in the rather calm manor. Reason of all this mess was just one, so easy to notice.

“Jungkook!” Just like a ball of nerves now the big ball of dirty blankets and clothes hit the young vampire, making him stumble a little. Obvious disgust on his face with a piece of distaste on his tongue which just a second ago had been caused by the same thing he now fisted in his hands.

“You didn’t have to throw it at me!” Barked Jungkook staring at the broad shoulders of his oldest brother. Child now a little calmer, however still sobbing slightly, keeping the atmosphere at bay.

“You have brung the kid so you will hold the things he made. Be happy that I'm not forcing you to change the diaper instead.”

Disgust on all of their faces is now being something normal, having kids in the same room as them, definitely does not go well with hundred years old vampires. The only one without a gag reflex seems to be Seokjin, acting like a pro mother, just after her 3rd pregnancy with the next on the road. However all of them agreed with the statement that it was all but Jungkook's fault, which came with consequences for said boy.

Thus now sitting on the couch, five of the ramaing vampires, looked with a bored expression at the panicked and nearly vomiting jungkook. Youngest of them always had a soft stomach, never being the one to clean after disasters, forcing people to basically clean after him, and maybe that's why all of them felt such a satisfaction upon them while staring at the shitty situation.

Literally shitty.

Stumbling a little from the intense smell, Jungkook started to try getting rid of the used diaper in his hands, holding it with his fingers dingling it as far from his face as he could. Maybe the smelly object was not the only thing that should be named like a feces, knowing that a person who should just throw the diaper away, purposefully walked closer than intended to a couch with older vampires, stumbling not that accidentally and making the thing in his hand fly straight to a lap of a reading Namjoon.

A moment of silence, only lasting for a short second. Namjoon was never the one to shout or get mad, rather prefering to act calm and well put together, believing in a peace making and solutions not requiring usage of violence but when the heavy baggage on his lap suddenly started to warm his lap, he completely crushed his persona as well as book in his hands.

“Ups...hehe.” Jungkook laughed awkwardly, knowing well his fate. Doe eyes looked at the tall man, standing a little farther than him, just behind the couch. Jaw tightened so were the hands, keeping the last strings of calmness that were floating on very dangerous water.

“Listen, before you actually do something think of the time when you destroyed my ps4 and

I did not even complain.” Hands just before him similar to the way you would to with a wild animal, and in Jungkook's opinion, it was not that far from the truth, observing how Namjoons jaws nearly crushed from the tension.

“Okay okay, we all need to calm down, It was just an accident.” Cut in red head, standing in the middle of the war zone. It was stupid idea, definetly not the brightes of the sunny vampire, even if it came from the good intentions. Hoseok, just like an innocent child that got stuck in a big people argument, was the one that got hurt in the end.

And everybody knew that when Hoseok gets mad it's the extremity that anyone in this room is scared to experience once again. There is silent agreement between the rest of the brothers that was made after one of Hoseok's outburst, promising that no matter what the devil can’t come out.

The apple of discord laying now upon redhead’s feet, innocent like a little kitten that just waits to be petted, but in this case it wasn neither a fluffy ball of fur and definitely not something that should be touched.

Silence so loud, banging in their ears with an uneven breath. Second after second, rest that were not included in the middle, counted sitting on their heels with nerve wracking feelings.They stared as Hoseok’s shoulders rose and went down with each puff of air from his flared nostrils, neither of them dared to move, preferring to stay in a safe zone.

Just as red headed one wanted to take his first kill, a loud laugh echoed in a room, coming from a little child in Seokjin's arms, that probably just came back from being cleaned up. A fresh smile on its face, eyes sparkly looking straight at the scene.

“What are you doing, idiots?” Asked Seokjin, a visible vein on his forehead, sticking out under his free hand that now pinched a bridge of his nose. His eyes catching a glimpse of the used diaper, right on his favorite carpet. “You had one thing to do, one thing Jungkook.”

“It was an accident I swear on my ps4!” He tried explaining, shaking his arms. Seokjin saw to much lived too long to believe it, everybody knew it but even than they acted like bunch of idiots when something like this happen.

“Namjoon destroyed it, you said it yourself.” Spoke Jimin, sitting on a couch with a happy smile, pleased with himself. Younger's head immediately halted in his way, a look of betrayal on his face.

“You midge…”

“I don’t care, just clean it up, in the meantime me with the little snack are going to cook something, right my little cutie?” Cuted the older while caressing the child in his arms, turning his voice in a baby one. And just like this the scene came to the same point, the only difference was that neither Namjoon or Hoseok were in the room, probably running away as fast as Sekojins came.

Jungkook sighed, squatting down to take care of the said thing. Again the disgust and a feeling of nausea hitted him with a side giggles of his blonde haired brother.

Going into the kitchen he spotted the child that looked at him as soon as he appeared. Little smile and sweet laugh, making him soft and mushy for a while.

“I hope you know that you gave us a big problem with bringing a human child there.” Seokjin spoke, not looking from a cutting board, himself to immersed in said action

Jungkook knew, earlier thinking of it like a mere action, something that they can get rid of as fast as a lollipop wrapper. But it was not, and now looking at the kid, he realized how his careless behaviour could weigh down not only on his family but the whole society of vampires.

“I’m-”

“Don’t just apologize, we need to take care of it as fast as we can, in the meantime doing everything to not harm it. If someone finds out it’s going to be a bigger problem, probably even straining the relationship with human - and that’s something we do not want.” Cuted older, in the end turning around pointing the sharp knife on Jungkook.

It was true, the delicate stattlement between those two societies is still new, fresh and hot, ready to burn anyone's fingers, anyones who is to carless. The today is a better world, something that all of the brothers know, remembering dark times - some of them being not older than mere hatchling then. World was a dangerous place to live in, vampires hunting humans, humans hunting vampires, a competition that never got settled, and they hope it never will.

“Try feeding it and come to the living room after you are done. We will discuss the next actions - good luck.” A little wink at the end, Seokjin wiped his hands off on the way patting the younger's back, harder than normally.

“Wait what?! You are not being serious right now, right?” Asked confused Jungkook, fastly turning around to an already disappearing figure. Cold sweat on his body as he looked at the smooth face of the older, that defended a flying kiss to his shocked self. “Why can’t you do it?”

“I can. But the human seems to take a liking to you.” And how absurd it sounded, the baby really looked at Jungkook like some god, sparkly eyes always following his bigger figure.

“Seokjin! Don’t leave me please, I can’t do it.”He whined, looking for the said man, to his luck he was nowhere to be found. It was going to be alright - he tried to believe in those words now clutching baby spoon, that he was sure they did not have, and a mashed food, looking more like dog food than actual meal.

His Eyes staring right into the sparkly and to obnoxious happy, making him even more irritated. In the end, Jungkook hated little children, being and acting like one himself

Little hands stretching towards him with a toothless smile on the side, getting bigger as Jungkook came closer. That was it, taking a big breath he come to the other side of the table - almost touching the stool where the human sat. Ready and determined to get the task done, treating it similar to a quest in the game, he took the little spoon with some of the smashed food, and started to get closer to the child's mouth.

And as the brothers again started to live their normal life, thinking that at least for now, everything is settled, a very obvious squeal shook the while house.

“HYUNG!...IT WANTS TO TOUCH ME! GET IT AWAY, GET IT AWAY!”

___

All of them now sitting on the couches and armchairs, taking nearly all of the space. Some of the observing the crawling baby with prominent couriousty some of them with disgust even fear, not knowing what future the baby will bring.

Namjoon although feeling the little distaste, knew or better had a plan with what to do.

Smile on his lips not reaching his eyes, however stumbling on the way of eye contact with some of his brothers.

“Okay so, definitely we need to do something with...this.” Said Jimin, look on his face full of distress and disgust resting on the child, that as if it knew of Jimin’s attention looked back full of giggles and reaching hands.

“That is obvious, we can’t keep human child.” Barked Yoongi, the one which rather prefered to stay quiet in those metters.

“Jungkook should take care of it, It’s not my fault he is to stupid to not question a left human on a doorstep.” Smug smile now on Jimin's face, as he gave the side glance to the said male, happy with triggering the younger temper.

“As If you woul…”

“Okay we get it Jimin, it was Jungkook's fault, but still it can affect us all, so try to be at least a little bit helpful or shut up” Interrupted Seokjin staring at both of them in turn. The oldest obviously tired of all of the drama, massaging his scalp, to relieve the tension a little. “Let's start one by one, any ideas?”

Silence, a loud silence throwing the tension to the already burning fire. Seokjin's vein once again appeared on his forehead, making Jungkook nearly knock from a terrifying sight of it. It was pulsating, green and bumpy.

“Maybe let’s put it back?” Asked the quiet voice, Sekojin ready to snap at the stupid idea thinking that some of the youngers don’t know limit of the unfunny jokes, only to find innocent eyes of Hoseok.

“That’s … well that is AN option, thank you Hoseok - keep it up. Any other ideas?” Seokjin’s hands molded into a thump, giving the tired smile to Hoseok, knowing of his still busing nerves.

“Why are we even trying so hard, throw it away i say.” Jimin mumbled while staring at the little child going his way, quickly putting his feet on the couch, scared of a chance of being touched by the human.

Tired sight left mouth of the olders, his vein fading a little - to Jungkook luck, and his hands now clenching his blonde lock. He was helpless, disappointed in his brother's ideas and intelligence. He was sure that, that was indeed an end, his family will be arrested for keeping human, and vampires are going to lose a peace they fighted for.

Everything because Jungkook wanted to take unfamiliar child to their house.

“What about the orphanage that opened like one month ago, can’t we just leave it there?” Cuted Namjoon, making everyone snap their head. Seokjin nearly crying, wanting to kiss his brother as much as choke him for his slow process of thinking.

“Couldn’t you say earlier?!

[mrzovq3]

Book!Aleksander Morozova x FemReader

Part 1

word count: 1086

|| this is the first fanfic I’ve ever written so if you have any tips on how I can improve my writing please feel free to tell me also request for future fics are open ||

btw: reader’s an Inferni and this doesn’t actually follow any plot points from the books/ part 1 is just fluff with a bit of kissing 🙃

ENJOY!

You were mere seconds from falling asleep right there, in the middle of a war room meeting. You usually love these types of meetings. Discussing strategy, war plans and studying maps are your area of expertise. But today the saints decided it was an amazing idea to make Vasily come up with another one of his so called “brilliant plans” to help win the war and present it in front of the whole council for approval. You didn’t understand why Nikolai would still let him be a part of anything at court since he was king and could easily exile that idiot with his parents but you guessed Nikolai did it for a reason he always does and you trust his judgment.

Recently there have been stronger fjerdan attacks on northern ravkan borders. More attacks meant more deaths, you couldn’t bear the idea of some of your friends laying in a pool of their own blood. Feeling slightly nauseous, you drove your thoughts to Aleksander. You couldn’t wait to get out of this place, fall sound asleep in his firmly protective and welcoming arms and forget about all your problems, even just for a couple of hours.. You were suddenly pulled out of your daydream by one of the councilmen mentioning your name.

“We can send y/n, from what I heard she’s a skilled spy and powerful Inferni I’m sure she’ll get us enough information to make the next move”

“Good then, we’ll send her tomorrow first thing in the morning,” said Nikolai

“Great so much for relaxing” you muttered

“What was that, Miss Ivanov?” asked Nikolai

“I was simply wondering what exactly my mission consisted of?” you lied, trying not to make it sound as if youhaven’t been listening for the past 30 minutes.

“You will be infiltrating one of the main Fjerdan bases, posing as one of them and getting as much information as you can get on their future plans. There have also been rumours of new fjerdan weaponry emerging in Chernast able to take out more than thirty grisha, that’s where we’ll be sending you. If you find any of those, burn them to the ground, understood?”

“Yes Moi Tsar” you nodded.

“Good, this meeting is over” declared the king.

You waited for everyone to leave until it was only you and your best friend.

“Nik why me, you know he won’t like it?” you whined slumping lazily on his expensive and very comfortable velvet chair.

“I’m sure The Darkling can handle his significant other being gone for two weeks”

“You know what I mean, if he finds out where I’m going he won’t let me leave”

“Ah, if he finds out,” Nikolai said with a pointed look.

“Fine but if something happens to me, he’ll have your head for it” you stated half jokingly, standing up to go back to your chambers where a certain shadow prince’s probably waiting for you.

“Then try to stay alive, I’d like to keep my beautiful head thank you very much”

“As much as I’d love to see that happen, I’ll try my best, goodbye Nik” you exclaimed, leaving the war room and heading to your room.

Opening the door, you noticed your room’s shadows slightly thicker. Used to your boyfriend’s antics, you rolled your eyes taking off your red and blue Kefta and flumped face down on your queen sized bed, letting out a long exhausted sigh.

“You know if you want to surprise me you ought to try harder, you’re losing your touch” you said smiling, slowly turning your head towards the corner of your room as a dark figure emerged from the shadows.

“Oh really? I for one thought it was a great attempt” he responded sarcastically, sitting down next to you. You chuckled and moved closer to lay your head on his lap, gazing into his striking grey eyes suddenly feeling more relaxed. He seemed to notice your tensed demeanour earlier, hopefully he didn’t think much of it.

“Long day?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“You could say that” you said drifting your eyes away from his so he wouldn’t notice anything strange.

“Was the meeting that boring?” he asked humourly, shifting his legs slightly.

“They came up with a plan to help the war and they needed a skilled Inferni and spy. Thanks to my amazing reputation I got picked, I’ll be leaving for about two weeks. That reminds me I have to pack my bags,” you said getting up, walking towards your wardrobe, trying to look as if you’re rushing so he wouldn’t ask more questions about it, you hate lying to his face.

“You’re hiding something,” he said, grabbing your wrist firmly and spinning you around to look at him.

“Look, Aleksander, I’m not really allowed to talk about it, you already know too much but I promise I’ll be fine It's nothing I can’t handle. You’ve sent me on worst missions anyways, don’t worry.” you lied, locking eyes with him, trying to get him to believe you. He still looked sceptical but brushed it off.

“Ok, be careful.” he said, lifting your chin up with his hand and brushing his beautiful warm lips to yours. You took a step closer, closing the distance looking at them eagerly finally pressing your lips to his. Running your hands through is soft black hair and deepening the kiss, he lifted your hips locking your legs around his torso. For a moment you forgot all about your problems and melted into Aleksander’s warmth and smiled into the kiss. You missed this, spending time with him just the two of you enjoying each other’s presence. Suddenly, he pulled away despite your pouting and leaned his forehead on yours.

“You should probably rest, when are you leaving?” he whispered, still a bit out of breath.

“Tomorrow morning, can we continue now?” you groaned not wanting to stop, leaning back into the kiss. He drew back almost immediately. He carried you to your bed, laying you down and tucking you in like a child. You were too tired to protest.

“Sleep y/n unless you’d rather pass out in the middle of your job” he said, planting a kiss on your brow.

“Fine, but only because I'm actually tired” you yawned, pulling your covers tighter around you. He gave you a ghost of a smile and left closing the door behind him. You let your thoughts run wild until you slowly drifted off to sleep, you have extremely tiring days ahead of you.

[bangtanreadingcorner]

the fact is • jeon jeongguk

plot – you're a waitress that gets stuck serving jeon jeongguk, who can't make his mind up on what to eat.

words – 6.4K

"Indecisive snot, aren't you?"

The words are out before you could stop them. Your natural instinct is to take it back and apologize, but this idiot has pushed you over the edge. He has changed his order six times and that was after adding sides and removing this or that. The customer - the arrogant brat of a chaebol, you thought to yourself - looking at his menu snapped his gaze to you, eyes widening in surprise, disbelief and was that intrigue? Nope. Probably just a trick of the light.

"Excuse me?" He says, eyebrows still raised to high heaven.

You weigh your options silently for a few moments. You could try and kiss his ass and loose your job. Or you could finish what you started and loose your job. Because there was no question, you were loosing your job. Speaking to a customer like that, in a restaurant as high end as this? The ultimate no-no.

The choice was a no brainer.

You give him a flat look, "Are you deaf?"

A surprised scoff leaves him and for a moment he stares at you, and then a smirk pulls at the corners of his mouth. "Do you not know who I am?"

"Of course I know who you are, Jeon Jeongguk, I don't live under a rock." You roll your eyes at him.

"Huh." He frowns at you.

You frown back, "What?"

"I've never met someone so . . . outspoken before. Normally people are all compliments and well wishes." Jeongguk doesn't say how delightfully refreshing it is. Like a spring breeze, spreading through his veins and breathing colour into his monotonous life. This is the most excitement he's had since he went parachuting eight months ago. That is a sad thought, but unfortunately a true one.

"Yeah, well," You shrug, tapping your pen against your notebook. "Kissing ass and lying are two things that didn't make it onto my list of qualities."

"Speaking your mind, obviously did." He notes, still smirking.

"Excellent observational skills there, Sherlock." You deadpan.

Jeongguk laughs and you don't like the way it makes warmth simmer in your belly. He looks up at you with dark eyes and you privately think for all that the media gets wrong, they have one thing right. Jeon Jeongguk is ridiculously attractive. "What's your name?"

"Are you blind or illiterate?" You raise a brow down at him. He looks caught off guard for a moment.

"Um...neither?" It comes out unsure, hesitant.

"Then what exactly is stopping you from reading my name badge?" You ask, tapping the badge on your chest with your pen. You were already losing your job, so you might as well make the best of it.

He looks embarrassed for a second, eyes dropping to the table, cheeks dusting the faintest shade of pink.

You raise a brow, "So, are you going to order or are you going to complain to my manager and get me fired?"

"Fired for what?" He asks.

You want to snap at him, but the genuine confusion in his eyes made you hold your tongue. For once. In a 'duh' tone, you tell him. "Speaking my mind."

"Ah. Right." Realisation lights up in his eyes. "I could have you fired for speaking to me like that." He says, like the thought never occurred to him.

"I'll go get my manager then." You say and turn on your heel, not at all surprised.

Jeongguk's mind goes into an epic panic as you turn your back on him and he blurts a quick, "Wait."

"What?" You ask, turning back to him with an uninterested look.

"I said that I could. Not that I would." He tells you and it makes your speechless for about five seconds.

Then you squint at him with a slight glare, "What do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"You obviously want something in exchange for keeping quiet. What is it?" You speak matter-of-factly. After a moment you add, "Just know, if it's something sexual or in that direction, I'd rather loose my job."

Jeongguk gapes at you, looking stunned. "I don't know whether to be insulted by the insinuation that I need to blackmail someone into sleeping with me or that you'd rather loose your job than sleeping with me."

"So sorry for offending your delicate sensibilities." You drawled sarcastically. "You still haven't told me what you want."

"Well, I like coming here often and when I do and you're my server, I'd like you to always speak your mind around me." He said, with the smallest of shrugs, looking down at the silverware on the table instead of at you.

Confusion sweeps through you, his request catching you off guard. "Really? That's it?"

"Yes." He nods stiffly.

"I don't understand." You admit.

"You don't have to. You asked me what I want, this is it." He looks at you again, eyes still dark and piercing and you can't understand what he's thinking.

"Fine, okay, yeah, I can do that." You nods eventually, noticing how his shoulders untense just a bit. You look at him, curious and full of questions, but cautious enough to not actually ask. "Are you gonna order now?"

"Why don't you surprise me? I can't decide what I want to eat." He says, handing you the menu.

"I'm shocked." You deadpan with a faux smile, before looking at him seriously. "Are you allergic to anything?"

"No." He shakes his head, lacing his fingers together and resting his hands on the table.

Your mind races for a few moments before settling on a dish. You nod at Jeongguk. "Okay, I'll be back with your food in a while then."

***

Three weeks later, you haven't served Jeongguk again. It's not that he hasn't been in, oh no, he has. You've seen him, caught him staring and then looking away quickly. He just hasn't sat at one of your tables again. Each week, the tables get rotated and there is four rotations, so you'll only be on Jeongguk's usual table next week.

You walked into the kitchen, just coming off your lunch break when Lee stops you and says, "Table 12 for you."

You look at Jae, who was on table 12 this week and got a hostile glare. You ignore her and look at Lee with confusion, "But I'm not on table 12 today."

"You were requested and customers here get what they want." Lee shrugs, giving you a 'it is what it is' look.

"By who?" You ask, having some idea of the answer. There is only one customer you know that would request you. You are always polite to the other customers but with an air of detachment, that keeps them from prying and you from getting into trouble. Until three weeks ago, that is.

"Jeon Jeongguk." Lee says, confirming your suspicions.

"Motherfucker." You swear.

Jae looks down her nose from you, "Don't he used to it. It won't last. He'll get bored of you soon enough."

"I hope so." You huff, as Jae walks away with a less than pleased expression.

"What?" Lee asks, her shock obvious.

"You heard me."

Lee tilts her head at you in disbelief and curiousity, "So, you're not trying to get into his pants?"

"Uh, no." You frown at her. Sure, he's hot but you know your place. You also need money than you need to get laid. "Why?"

"Most girls try when they work here, but everytime they try something, Mr. Jeon complains and they get fired." Lee explains.

Something suddenly made sense to you, "Is that what Jae's trying to do?"

"No one will say it to her face, but yeah, it is." Lee nods, shrugging a little. "She's jealous that he requested you, when you've worked here just over a month, served him once, and she's worked here for almost two years and he hasn't blinked in her direction."

"Huh," You frown, lost in your thoughts. "I wonder why he didn't get me fired then."

"Why? What did you say to him?" Lee eyes you curiously.

"Called him an indecisive snot." You smirk gleefully, happy that you got away with talking to him like you want and not getting fired because of it.

"Right." Lee says in a tone that made it clear she doesn't believe you.

"I did." You insist.

Lee waves you off, and you exit the kitchen, walking into the dining room, heading over to Jeongguk's regular table.

You look at him as he comes into your line of direct sight. His one leg was shaking, eyes shifting around the room, fingers tapping the table restlessly. When he spots you walking over to him, he stills completely. A smile - a cute one, you admit to yourself and no one else - spreads on his lips as he breathes your name, "Y/N."

You give him a look, "Did you miss me or something?"

"What? No." Jeongguk scoffs quickly. "I was bored. And you cure my boredom."

You raise your eyebrows at him, head going forward a little, "I cure your boredom?" You repeat, slowly. Maybe he's kidding.

But Jeongguk just nods at you as if it makes all the sense in the world, "Yeah. It's like live entertainment while I eat."

You scowl at him, "I'm not a circus clown."

"That's not what I meant!" He exclaims, voice a little too loud, causing heads to swivel in your direction. He takes a breath and speaks again, softer this time. "I just meant that it's nice. Or it was nice, the one time I actually got to talk to you."

"So, you did miss me." You tease good naturedly. Jeongguk doesn't answer, just stares resolutely down at the table. You sigh, feeling fond instead of annoyed. You hide a smile as you ask, "What will it be today?"

Jeongguk looks at you again, hesitantly at first, then fully when he sees your expectant gaze, "Surprise me."

Now you were surprised, "Again?"

"I liked what you ordered last time." He does that small shrug again. Actually, it's less of a shrug, and more a slight lift of the shoulders. You notice that he has broad shoulders, and the suit he's wearing only makes them look better. You push those thoughts away, focusing on the conversation.

"And if you don't like it this time?" You challenge.

"I did say surprise me, and surprises can be positive or negative." Jeongguk decides not to tell her that this is his favorite restaurant and he knows the menu by heart. He knows and likes every dish, so there was no way he wouldn't like something she serves him. And he's curious as to what she'll decide this time.

You snort, laughing lightly, "You know, you're not as bad as I thought you were."

Jeongguk looks mildly offended, "I'll have you know, I'm a catch."

"I'm sure." You nod, hiding a grin.

"I am." He insists and you had to admit, he is attractive.

"Yes, right up until the moment you open your mouth." You say honestly, writing down one of the dishes on the menu.

"Rude." He pouts a little and you suppress the urge to giggle, of all things.

"Maybe," You concede. "But it's the truth." You picked up his menu, turning on your heel to go to the kitchen.

"So, how do I . . . improve?" Jeongguk asks when you come back with his food, continuing with the conversation where you left off.

"Do I look like a life coach to you?" You set down the food. "Enjoy."

"Thanks." Jeongguk grins at her. "And, no, but if I went to one they'd tell me what they think I want to hear, not what I need to hear."

You stare at him for a few seconds and he looks back unflinchingly. "Well," You press your lips together. "I guess you should start with why you want to change."

That makes Jeongguk falter. He can't very well say, 'so I can impress you, since my money doesn't seem too' and he thinks for a bit. "I have come to realise that maybe I treat people unfairly based on how much money they have. I would like to change that."

Your eyebrows goes up, "That's surprisingly deep, coming from you."

"I'm not swallow." He defends himself.

You nod complacently, "Right, well, the answer is easy but actually doing it, will all depend on you."

"What do I do?"

"Just, think before you say something. Ask yourself, can my words hurt this person?"

"And if they deserve it?" Jeongguk wonders.

"The right answer would be to still be considerate, because two wrongs don't make a right, but I hate being a hypocrite, so go for it, if they deserve it. I mean, it's not like I held back when you annoyed me." You gave a shrug. "I should go. We're not allowed to loiter at the tables."

Jeongguk wants to ask her to sit with him and keep him company some more, but he knows he would be setting himself up for rejection. Instead, he just looks at her with a half smile. "Just when I think I have you all figured out, you do or say something that proves me wrong."

"My mom always used to say, you can spend a lifetime with someone and still learn something new about them every day. People evolve everyday and you'll never be who you are right now, tomorrow again."

"She sounds like a wise woman." Jeongguk remarks.

You smile, nostalgia making your heart warm, "Yeah, she was."

"I'm sorry." Jeongguk says, catching onto the past tense. A lump forms in your throat out of nowhere.

"Thank you." You swallowed thickly, clearing your throat. You gave him a shaky smile, hoping he wouldn't notice. "See, you're doing better already."

Jeongguk did notice but decided not to call her out on it. He just smiled up at her softly, watching after her figure when she walks away.

***

"You know, if I didn't know that you come here everyday, I'd say you that you are stalking me." You teased Jeongguk when you go to take his order for the fifth time in a row. You've had a day off, inbetween, but when you showed up for your next shift, Jeongguk was there and everytime he's requested you. By now, whoever was on rotation for his table, just lets you know whenever he shows up.

"And how do you know that?" Jeongguk raises a curious eyebrow at you.

"I complained to Lee about you and she told me." You explain to him, mentally running over the menu in your head. Jeongguk told you on the third day to just order for him everytime. So, when you walk to his table under the guise of taking his order, the two of you just talk.

"Lee?" He inquires.

"She's my friend and another server here."

"Ah." Jeongguk nods in realisation. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"You can ask, but that doesn't guarantee I'll answer." You say, giving him a cheeky smile.

She has a beautiful smile, Jeongguk thinks to himself. He shakes himself out of his thoughts and looks her in the eyes, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

You frown down at him, finding the question odd. He's never asked anything too personal. Just normal things, what you're studying, what you do when you're not working. Sometimes you'll tell him a story of something dumb you did as a kid, but he'll never outright ask. "No."

A thought suddenly occurs to Jeongguk and he doesn't really want to ask because that'll destroy every hope he has but he needs to know. He quirks a brow at her, "Girlfriend?"

You snort at the question, "No, I'm straight. My cousin swings both ways though. Nearly gave his mom a stroke when he came out at our annual Christmas family dinner two years ago."

"Oh." Jeongguk wants to sag in relief, wants to let out a thankful cheer, but settles for just a small smile and letting out a breath of relief.

"Why are you asking?"

He does that little shrug that isn't really a shrug thing. "I was just wondering. You never really talk about one, or even someone you're interested in."

"Okay, if there was someone, why would I tell you?" You are teasing, but he doesn't know as you look at him blankly.

"I was just curious." Jeongguk huffs defensively.

"Yeah, yeah, settle down." You snicker. After a moment you say, "I guess I don't talk about it because there hasn't been anyone to talk about."

"Really?" Jeongguk beams up at you hopefully, eyes glittering.

"Really." You roll your eyes, but there was a slight warmth in your cheeks that wasn't there before.

***

Seven months and many short conversations later – in which you learnt many things about Jeongguk and vica versa – you walk up to his table with a smile, genuinely excited to see your sort of friend. The smile fades from your face when you lay eyes on him – his whole body was tense, you could tell even from a distance, he was glaring out the window, clenched fists laying on the table. Something wasn't right. You quicken your pace, concern swirling in your belly. You stop at his table, feeling your heartbeat quicken. "What's wrong?"

"None of your fucking business." He snaps at you, words so venomous it makes you take a step back in shock, but mostly hurt.

Jeongguk regrets the words the moment they're out because he didn't mean them. He doesn't want to fight or argue. He came to see her to feel better. Now he snapped at her. He waits, for whatever tongue lashing she is about to give him. He'd deserve it and he'll take it. But she says nothing. Somehow her silence was much worse than any insult she can hurl at him. Her face closes off, he watches it happen as her fingers tighten around the pen and notepad she uses to take orders, and panic sparks beneath his skin, overriding all the anger he feels.

No. His mind rebels against the thought immediately.

"What can I get for you today, Sir?" Her voice is perfectly polite as she asks the question, like it was the first time he met her. Until he made her snap after changing his order for a sixth time.

No, no, no, no, no! Not this. Anything but this. His heartbeat quickens.

Jeongguk was quickly turning frantic, "Y/N, please, I-"

"We have a lovely special today." She goes on as if he didn't speak, eyes void of the usual fire when she'd argue with him or the gentle warmth when she sometimes smiled at him and called him an idiot. It was the only times he ever liked being called an idiot.

He listens to her droning on about he specials, explaining them. Jeongguk's heart drops all the way down to his feet. It feels like someone pulled a rug from beneath his feet, and he is thrown off balance from the how utterly wrong it feels, how much it bothers him, hurts him, that she is talking to him like he is just another random customer. Like she hasn't told him how she got stuck in a tree, climbing after the neighbors cat. Playing with their cat because her parents never allowed pets.

A cold feeling of dread washes over him because Jeongguk has no idea to fix whatever he just fucked up.

***

You very almost cry when Jeongguk snaps at you, feeling irrationally hurt by his words. You shove it all down as you pull up your walls and shut him out to protect yourself. You serve him as quickly as possible, walking away without a friendly word.

"Trouble in paradise?" Jae smirks at you when you come back from serving Jeongguk.

You glare at her, not in the mood for dealing with her jealousy today. "No, just looking at your face is enough to put anyone in a bad mood."

Jae's eyes widened, fury spreading on her face. "You bitch!" She yells, raising a hand to slap you.

You smirk, catching her wrist easily. "Careful, just now you break a nail."

You let her go, walking away. You wait until you're in the bathroom, safely away from prying eyes in a locked stall, before letting you face crumple, only letting one tear escape before getting yourself under control.

You finish your shift, completely exhausted by the end of it – emotionally and physically. The last thing you have the energy for, is Jeongguk, so of course he's waiting for you at the personnel entrance and exit when you step outside. Intent on ignoring him, you pretend that you don't see him and you start walking in the direction of the train station.

Jeongguk follows you, apparently not easily deterred. "Will you just talk to me please?"

"What would you like me to say, Sir?" You ask in your most professional voice, looking ahead and not glancing at him.

"I'd like you to talk to me and stop treating me like I'm a customer." He says, sounding frustrated and desperate.

"You are a customer, Sir." You answer, still not looking at him.

"For fuck sakes, will you stop with the 'sir' already and talk to me like you used to?" Jeongguk all but explodes, stepping infront of you, and looking down at you for a change. It's startling, for a moment. You always look down at him when he sits at the table and it never occured to you that he's taller than you. He sets his hands on your shoulders (they're big and warm and you feel surprisingly safe, even when he squeezes slightly), frantic and desperate eyes looking into yours. "You don't even have to talk, you can yell or scream or shout for all I care, just please stop."

"You want me to talk? Fine." You glare up at him, shrugging out of his hold and taking a step back. He's way to close for comfort. "Look, I get I'm not exactly from the same side of town as you are, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of empathy. I'd bet that I have more empathy than most people you know. So, when someone I see as a kind of friend, snaps at me when I ask them what's wrong out of concern, when they could have said they don't want to talk about it, it hurts." You rant, a little out of breath. "Do you understand that? You hurt me."

"I'm sorry. Fuck, I am so sorry, you have no idea. I shouldn't have snapped at you and I regretted it the moment I did it. I was angry, and I know it isn't an excuse but it's the truth."

"Sorry isn't going to fix it," You say, voice edging on being too sharp. Your heart twists when his face falls. You soften a bit. "But it is a step in the right direction."

Jeongguk perks up, "What's another?"

"For starters, next time you don't want to talk about me, tell me instead of snapping at me." You give him a pointed glare, crossing your arms over your chest.

Jeongguk gives you an apologetic look, "Again, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to snap at you. I came to talk to you, hoping I'd calm down a bit. I had an ugly fight some dumbass that tried to sell low quality material to us and I took it out of you."

You are reminded of the fact that he is the heir to his father's multi-billion won international conglomerate and for some reason, it makes you sad. You smile at him, ignoring the sadness. "Well, you're forgiven but I'm not forgotting."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He grins cheekily. He paused for a moment, then smirks at you. "So, we're friends now?"

You groan, "I should have known that would come back to bit me I'm the ass."

***

A large bouquet of pink tulips is delivered to you the next morning. Inside is a card that reads:

Thank you for never giving up on me. -JJK

Lee whistles loudly when she sees them and your cheek burn. "Someone must really like you."

"It's from a friend." You say, ignoring the fluttering in your belly.

"My point still stands. Those are out of season, you know." She remarks.

You nod, "I know. They're my favourite."

You finish your shift with a smile on your face. Until your boss calls you into his office.

"Yes, Sir?" You ask, still smiling and the bouquet of flowers in your one hand, backpack up on your shoulders and ready to go home.

"Y/N. I'll get right to the point. There's been a complaint that you've been too friendly with one of our customers." He says bluntly.

You almost drop your flowers in shock, "What?"

"I'm sorry to do this, Y/N, but it is a direct violation of the contract you signed when you started here. Professionalism is our top priority. I have no choice but to fire you." He says, and he does look sorry as he holds out an envelope to you. "This is the week's wages. Again, I'm sorry. You are a good worker."

"You're firing me because of something someone accused me off?" You ask, indignant and a little angry. "You're not even going to ask me if I did it? And if I did it, why I didn't stop?"

"The accusation came from a very trustworthy customer that was concerned that our reputation might be damaged." Your manager says. "If it gets to the owner and he finds out I did nothing, I could loose my job."

You scoff, taking the envelope. If you didn't need the money, you'd have thrown it back in his face. "So, it's okay for me to loose mine?"

"I'm sorry."

"So am I." You say before turning around and leaving.

***

The first day she's not there, Jeongguk brushes it off, thinking she has the day off and forgot to tell him. The second day, he starts to worry, just a little. The third day, he almost thinks himself into a mental breakdown. The fourth day, he demands to see the manager.

"Mr. Jeon." The manager greets with a smile that was clearly fake. Jeongguk thought back to Y/N, who never smiled much but when she did, it was honest and pure and breathtaking. He misses it and would do whatever it takes to get it back.

"Where is Y/N?" He demands, voice and gaze equally cold and intimidating. It's a side of him that she broke through within minutes, digging up the real Jeongguk and pulling him to the surface. The past months, he's been able to breathe again, live instead of just existing, waiting for the next person that wants his money. But that cold and calculating side of him is still there.

The manager pales and Jeongguk's worry increases. Did something happen to her? The manager shifts on his feet but still doesn't answer. "If you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I will call the owner and ask him to answer me."

"S-she was fired." The man stutters out.

Jeongguk feels his stomach drop. She never outright said it but he knows she depends heavily on the income from this job. It worries him, because he has this urge to take care of her. He wants to give her as much money as she needs, for her to live comfortably, but he knows she wouldn't take it. He glares at the manager, "Why?"

"Someone filed a complaint against her. She was getting to friendly with y-you." The manager says, looking a little terrified.

Jeongguk clenches his jaw, "And instead of asking me if I have a problem with it, you fired her?"

"Her contract says-"

Jeongguk stands up, towering over the man in height and size. "I don't give a shit what her contract says. How many times have I filed a complaint when the servers made me inappropriate offers and crude suggestions? I never once complained about her."

Jeongguk doesn't give the manager anymore time to do anything other than letting out a squeak before turning around and leaving the restaurant.

***

Five days after you were fired, you started too feel it. The absence of Jeongguk's presence. At first, you didn't notice it. To wrapped up in finding another job, worried about money and going to classes to think about it. But today is Sunday and the diner you found a temporary job at two days ago, is closed on Sundays. It's crappy pay and not alot of hours either but it was something and it'll help until you could get something else.

You lay on your bed, listening to your mom vacuuming the living room. University housing was expensive and you'd rather live at home and save the money than having even more debt. You laze the day away, knowing that none of the projects you have, is due that Monday. Your thoughts drift back to Jeongguk, like it always does. You honestly didn't think you'd end up missing him this much.

You like him, so fucking much. You figured it out a long time ago. You also know that you come from two different worlds. You are fine with that, you accepted it and you were content to be his friend.

Now he's completely gone from your life. Ripped out of it without warning.

You go to your classes the next day. In your last one, you doodle absentmindedly on the corner of your notebook, only half listening to the Professor. When the class is over, you look at what you drew and then groan out loud. Jeongguk's initials. Of fucking course. You scoff to yourself, leaving the class and then the building. You want to go home and sulk in privacy.

Outside, the sun was shining and you stood still for a moment, soaking in the warmth.

"Y/N!" A voice yelled your name and your head whips in the direction because you know that voice. You look, eyes searching desperately because you are so sure it was his voice. You're not hallucinating and- and there he is, running over to you.

"Jeongguk? What are you doing here?" You ask when he stops infront of you, completely bewildered.

He looks panicked and frantic. Like that day he snapped at you. He grips your shoulders, the hold almost painful. "You weren't there. I went to the restaurant and you weren't there and the manager told me you were fired and-"

"Jeongguk, stop. Breathe." You say, reaching up to hold onto his wrists, lightly rubbing your thumbs over the inside of his wrists. You wait until his grip loosens, until he was holding instead of gripping. "How did you find me?"

"You told me where you go to school one day." He answers off handedly, eyes scanning over your face, almost as if memorising the little details. Guilt flashes on his face, "I'm sorry you were fired."

You laugh at his words, removing his hands from your shoulders because it was getting a little too intimate, your heartbeat speeding up. "You know, half the time I see you, you end up apologizing to me."

"Hey, it's weird for me too." Jeongguk pouts and you have this urge to rise on your tiptoes and kiss it. "I'm not used to apologizing."

"Don't worry about it, I'm not angry." You wave him off.

"Can we talk?" He pleads and you agree immediately because you missed him so much.

"Yeah, there's a park nearby."

"Scared to be seen with me?" He teases with a smirk, and for a moment it's like nothing has changed.

You snort, "Don't you know? The walls has ears and Twitter accounts."

Jeongguk laughs, loud and unrestrained, throwing his head back. You couldn't help but smile. "This way."

You guide him to the park. It wasn't very big, and not a lot of people came here either, so it was perfect to talk. You each sit down on a swing.

"What are you gonna do now?" Jeongguk asks.

You shrug, "No clue, but I'll figure something out."

A guilty look spreads on his face again, "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have-"

You cut him off, "Shouldn't have what? Let a server talk back to you? Yeah, probably not but we both enjoyed it, so it's on you as much it is on you. More on me though, because it was my responsibility as an employee to treat you with respect."

"You did," Jeongguk says immediately, sincerely. "Even when you were at your most brutally honest moments."

You give him a slight smile. "Well, fun as it was, it seems our path has come to an end."

"Why?" Jeongguk frowns heavily at you.

"Huh?"

Jeongguk looks you in the eye, gaze piercing. "Why does it have to end?"

You snorted, thinking he was messing with you but his eyes were completely serious. You answer in a matter-of-fact tone, "Because you're you and I'm me. Besides, most of the time we argued."

"Y/N." He says your name like it is his greatest wish. He stands up from his swing, making his way infront of you and pulled you to your feet. He looks at you, eyes impossibly fond, "That wasn't arguing. It was banter. If you think that's arguing, you probably think my parents goes to war every now and again." He smiles, a little nervous. "And foe the record, I would rather argue with you for the rest of my life than ever kiss another girl again."

Your mouth drops open in shock, and you really don't know what the fuck to make of that. "I-"

He cuts you off, "And I don't want this to be over."

Silence falls between you two. You stare at him, he stares back. Until, finally, you blurt, "I don't know what to say."

Jeongguk is a little bit disappointed, but not surprised in the slightest. At least it isn't an outright rejection. "You don't have to say anything. Just answer one question."

"Okay?"

"Would you want to date me?" You choke on thin air from shock. That means that he feels the same way as you do, right? Happiness makes your blood sing. Then it sinks in and reality comes back to you. Your happiness evaporates and you swallow thickly. You open your mouth to tell him 'no', but once again Jeongguk cuts you off before you could say something. "Forget about our social status, forget about what people would say and think about me and you. Together. Really think about it. I have, and I think we could work, if you gave it a chance."

"And if it doesn't work?" You ask softly, vulnerable in a way you've never been before. Distantly you wonder how he knew what you were thinking.

"Then at least we can say we tried." He shrugs.

You look down at the ground, wanting to think without looking at him, into those mesmerizing eyes of his. He could ask you to commit murder, and chances are that you'll do it if he looks at you long enough. When did you become so completely gone for him? You think about it, but there was never a moment where you realised, this is the person I like. Maybe . . . maybe it's because you've always liked him. Right from the start, even when he was infuriating. The thought is startling, but you aren't scared by it. It's more like another piece of the puzzle between you and Jeongguk has fallen into place. But there is the problem of your different social statuses. Yeah, Jeongguk said forget about it, but for how long? If you try and this does work out, then eventually you'll have to face the reality of everything that comes with being together. Somehow that scares you more than if it doesn't work.

You look back up at him, and you know – despite all your worries and doubts – it was never really a choice because you choose Jeongguk the moment you chose to accept his offer of being honest all those months ago. "Okay."

Jeongguk looks like he's ready to argue, "I-" You watch as your answer sinks in. The stunned expression almost makes you laugh, "What?"

"Did you want me to say no?" You give him an amused look, smile curling the corners of your lips upwards.

His eyes widens and he shakes his head frantically, "No, no, no, I just wasn't expecting you to say yes to quickly."

"That makes two of us." You admit. Jeongguk is right though, better to try and either fail or succeed, or never try and forever wonder what if. You smile up at him, heart soaring happily. "You make a good case. You should have become a lawyer."

Jeongguk's eyes light up, "Just wait until you hear the case I have to make on why we should kiss."

"Tell you what, if you kiss me within the next three seconds, you don't have to make a case at all." You bargained with a grin.

Jeongguk didn't need to be told twice. He leaned close and kissed you, slow and deep, one hand slipping into your hair and the other curling around your waist, pulling you close to him. He breaks the kiss, licking his lips and your eyes are drawn to the action. You lick your own lips, liking the taste of him. His voice is deep and rough, his cheeks flushed, when he asks, "Want to go get something to drink?"

"Yeah," You nod with a goofy smile, your own cheeks also flushed, feeling like you might float away at any second. "I could go for a smoothie."

"I love smoothies." Jeongguk grins back at you, taking your hand, lacing your fingers. His other hand was still wrapped around your waist and hold you close.

An old question flashes across your mind as you run your hands up his chest, liking the strong, study feel of it, until you can lock your arms around his neck. "You know, I've been meaning to ask."

"Mmm?" Jeongguk hummed in acknowledgement, showing that he was listening.

"Why didn't you get me fired that first day?" You ask, aware that you are suppose to be getting smoothies but it could wait for a bit.

Jeongguk had been expecting this question for a while, and had come up with an answer a long time ago. He looks down at her with all he feels for her, a content smile on his lips.

"Because you were the first honest person I have met in years. Because you put me in my place without thinking twice. Because when you glared down at me after I changed my order for the sixth time, there was a fire in your eyes that woke something inside of me that I couldn't control. Not then and not now." He leaned down, rubbing his nose against hers, the gesture shy and intimate. "Because the fact is, you had me at 'indecisive snot'."

the end.

A/N: Tumblr and it's 250 box limit will be the death of me, I swear. I get it, I do. But come on! This very almost didn't fit, I had to edit and mush several chapters into one. Eventually it fit, but NEVER AGAIN! It was exhausting and time consuming. I'll rather split it again, like I did with two of my other fics. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. This took me a while with all the editing. Purple hearts for all of you!! -Kayla.

[thewriterowl]

Owl, why do you think DinLuke has become so popular? well, supposedly they didn't even really interact together and Din talked more with Omera, Ahsoka, Cobb Want and Boba, and suddenly the whole tumblr decided that Luke was most suitable in bed with Din 😎

Hello! Well I think there are a few reasons:

Luke is a very shippable person, but it feels like there hasn't been enough options for him. His story was also so much about this sort of self-love (though he still sucks at it) and finding a family, not romance. His story was about something else. But there just did not seem like there was enough for him except for Han or Lando (and now, looking back at it, Boba).

Many Star Wars fans are thirsty too. We were robbed of Mr. Star Wars himself with the sequels. We have had to see Luke just get blasted for being annoying or boring and made into something he's not despite him being the star of the whole series. It wasn't just about pairing him with someone, it was about celebrating that we got our Luke back as he deserves and as we deserve (and to celebrate we decided he needed to have a banging session with Din).

I've been foaming at the mouth over Luke more than Dinluke since he returned. Dinluke is my OTP without a doubt and I am so obsessed with it...but my thing is I want Luke. I just want to finally give him happiness and that can be done with Din.

Things happen to Luke. he is a beacon for plot. Anything that can happen probably happens to him. He is almost the literal center of the galaxy. And it is so funny to match that with Din who wants nothing to do with that...but is getting dragged kicking and screaming in becoming a main character.

Din is hot. Din is HELLA hot. Pedro Pascal is attractive and so many viewers want a lustful daydream with him. Here comes Luke who has so much personality and is so sweet...but man can he be a perfect "placement" as a self-insertion for a writer. I think that happens with a lot of popular pairings. Omera and Cobb and Boba have merits for Din (I've never been super fond of any of them with Din but I saw why they were so enjoyed) but there wasn't quite the same impact on ease with writing for some I think...though Boba/Din came a little closer...with Din/Cobb being close cause of that really hyper sexual moment in the cantina (like seriously, they had to have slept with each other) but it just didn't grab onto my inspiration like Luke does.

And look, the personalities are just so cute together. Besides the few early seers who wrote a few fics, it was just never obvious because we just never saw them every being aware of each other. And then they shared the same air and talked to each other and Luke saved them and did his dramatic robe drop and Din showed his face to Luke (yes it was for Grogu but he could've turned and hid his face from the others as, as far as we know, the rest are behind him and unaware of his face--Luke isn't) so there is there really amazing sense of intimacy and trust instantly.

Just the pairing can also be so cute, or mature, or sexy, or dark, or funny...it all just works together incredibly well. It was like seeing destined soulmates finally seeing each other and not even aware we had been waiting for it.

It clicked for them as it clicks for us. It was just amazing.

[tossawary]

I need to know more about “SVSSS - Baby Brother Liu Qingge” bc I love tiny and very deadly baby LQG

I have a 3k-ish Shang Qinghua POV that was supposed to be the introduction to this fic concept! So... ah... baby Liu Qingge does not appear in this, but you can see the setup for how an 8yo-ish Liu Qingge was supposed to be introduced. My hope is that this will someday become a "Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu go on a mission with Baby Brother Liu Qingge" one shot.

-cut-

Shang Qinghua didn't really have the words to describe what it was like having Proud Immortal Demon Way's characters finally come into his second life.

He didn't have the words to describe a lot of his transmigration experience, honestly! His words had described a lot of this world already, haha, hadn't they? Sometimes a person just had to put up with it and keep going.

And then excuse himself later to go scream into a pillow! Many times!

At first, life was just him in a body that didn't fit and strange memories that slipped between his fingers like sand. His memories of a past life had settled eventually, the System finally came fully online, and his relationship with his second family was fully fucked forever. That was fine, though! That was fine! With some unsolicited prodding from his System, he left to go seek his fortune soon enough and he never had to talk to his character's birth parents or siblings again.

But Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky had never said much of anything about Shang Qinghua’s family or home village, besides saying that the man had dreamed of more than his mediocre origins, so everything had been unfamiliar and original and real. Getting to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, which he had described in great detail, was a real headfuck. There were no words for the experience of recognizing things that he’d written in another life.

He saw the glistening rainbow bridge and the intimidating sect entrance and the majestic meeting hall on Qiong Ding, and he nearly screamed. He definitely squawked. His vision got really fuzzy for a minute there and he had to sit down on the ground before he fell over. What the fuck?! What the fuck?! He’d made a world! The System had really made a world out of his web-novel! He was really stuck in Proud Immortal Demon Way!

There were upsides and downsides to joining Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. Downsides included: the hard training, the harder workload, the dangerous missions, the disrespect towards An Ding Peak, and being surrounded by arrogant and foolish teenagers looking to look down on someone. It was really something else to look some of them in the eye and think, "Bro, I don’t know your name, but you kind of owe your existence to me. Could you stop being such a fucking asshole about leaving your chores for me to do?! Respect your father!"

Upsides included: actually becoming a cultivator (pretty cool, even though the work of cultivation sucked more often than not), better living accommodations and food, and actually getting to see some of the cooler places, plants, monsters, and magic that were a part of his world. Sure, carting a monster corpse brought in by Bai Zhan Peak to Xi Jiao Peak for butchering was smelly and heavy and altogether miserable, but seeing an impossible animal was still kind of incredible. If this unwilling Shang Qinghua could stop being pushed around and stepped on long enough to appreciate the upsides, he’d really appreciate it!

It was interesting and infuriating to log the differences between what he’d imagined, what he’d written, and what the System had created. What sort of author described every single object in every single room? Who had time for that? Who wanted to read that? The System had filled in all the living details of An Ding Peak - the Leisure Houses, the training grounds, the storehouses, the warehouses, the kitchens, the lesson halls, the leisure gardens, the farming fields, the livestock fields, the stables, the cart lot, the water supply, the sewage systems, and so on - so that people could actually live here. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky as an author had done many things worthy of complaint and criticism, but wasting his readers’ time with sewage systems was not one of them!

The System had also filled in all the little details and decorations - the paintings on the walls of sect history, the detailing on the rooftops supposedly offering protections from dream demons, the chipped and faded paint of old storehouses that disciples would be tasked with replacing, the statues in the fields to scare off scavengers, the carvings on the doors meant to reduce resentful energy, the childish etchings of bored students the surface of the lesson hall desks, the old bench where the An Ding Peak Lord liked to sit and eat flatcakes - so that it really seemed like people had built this place and maintained it and added to it for generations.

Shang Qinghua had his quibbles here and there. Sometimes the System had made choices that he objected to! He would have done it differently if it had asked him, the author, to contribute. He really felt as though the System should have asked him to clarify the plot holes and the gaps in detail, instead of choosing precedence randomly or building off random implications taken way too literally.

Sometimes he found out that the System had built things out of throwaway lines that Shang Qinghua himself had completely forgotten about. It turned out that Ku Xing Peak made a lot of purification tools and containment vessels because Airplane had offhandedly mentioned that this was their specialty, and now Shang Qinghua had to cart around delicate ceramics to be sold to city merchants or other cultivation sects. He never would have dared to write that if he’d known that it would one day in another life be his job to do things like take inventory and chase down signatures for successful deliveries.

Places, items, and creatures were one thing, but logging the differences between the people he met and the characters he’d created was something else. At first it was okay, because he was surrounded by nameless An Ding Peak nobodies - his fellow disciples, their teachers, the hardworking managers and merchants, even the peak lord - none of them had ever mattered in Proud Immortal Demon Way. If Airplane had been the one to name any of them, he didn’t recognize the names or remember them.

Then he met Yue Qingyuan.

Wow, it was a worse headfuck than first arriving at Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, when Shang Qinghua finally realized that this was the young version of one of his actual characters. It took him a minute. As a lowly outer disciple, Shang Qinghua hadn’t received “Qinghua” as a name yet (his name was Houhua, not that anyone ever used it) and the future Yue Qingyuan was still called Yue Qi.

Shang Qinghua was fourteen at the time. Yue Qingyuan must have been around the same age, so he didn’t strike the tall and handsome figure of the sect leader Airplane had described. The boy was broad, but actually a little short. He had freckles. He had acne.

But he also had a warm smile that seemed to go all the way to his eyes when he offered to give Shang Qinghua directions to the right office on Qiong Ding. He had a steady hand when he helped Shang Qinghua up, after the An Ding disciple had suddenly tripped over nothing upon being introduced. Yue Qingyuan - Yue Qi - walked him to the right office and did his best to make small talk, friendly and kind even though Shang Qinghua was having difficulty stringing more than a few words together in his shock.

Even then, it was obvious that the boy was developing the calm surety and the social charm that would make him a greatly admired sect leader someday! It was all Shang Qinghua could do not to blurt out: “Holy shit, you’re REAL?!” Which would be closely followed by: “Hey, is Shen Qingqiu really real too?!” And then maybe closely followed by: “FUCK!!!”

As the years went by, Shang Qinghua met more of Proud Immortal Demon Way’s characters, and it was weird every time. None of them were exactly like he was expecting. He kept expecting… well… he kept expecting them to look like the fanart, like flawless character models, more or less. Instead, he kept getting… people.

Wei Qingwei, head disciple of the sword-focused Wan Jian Peak, was also shorter than he was expecting, kind of stout, with a wide face and a wider smile. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky had apparently had the man crack a few jokes upon his rare appearances in the web-novel, usually during tense situations, as he was reminded by the System upon thinking to himself: “Why is this guy LIKE THIS?!” So, because of just a few lines, the real Wei Qingwei had a relentless sense of humor and loved telling jokes.

Upon their first meeting, when Shang Qinghua was fifteen and had been sent over to help renovate some Wan Jian dormitories, fifteen-year-old Wei Qingwei had pretended to fumble a sword and, using a packet of dye and a sleight of hand, made it look like he’d accidentally cut off his own hand at the wrist. Of course Shang Qinghua had screamed and panicked! Anyone would panic! But Wei Qingwei had laughed at him and said, “Got you! Shang-Shidi, the sword wasn’t even unsheathed!” Asshole!

Qi Qingqi, the head disciple of Xian Shu Peak, was much taller than he was expecting. Apparently Airplane had once described a group of some of the peak lords by saying something like: “Each one of them was like a giant to young Luo Binghe.” That group had included Qi Qingqi. The System apparently had taken that to mean that Qi Qingqi was of a height with the likes of Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu. Shang Qinghua discovered this adaptational choice when he was almost sixteen, when this giraffe-like girl came to An Ding Peak to complain about an order someone along the pipeline had dropped completely, and he accidentally found himself (still waiting on a really good growth spurt) eye-level with Qi Qingqi’s chest.

Airplane had apparently once said in Proud Immortal Demon Way that Qian Cao Peak Lord Mu Qingfang appeared a little older than his colleagues, by which he’d probably meant that the man was just tired or something, but this head disciple Mu Qingfang appeared to have ten years on all the other head disciples. Which was good! Shang Qinghua approved of their future head healer not being a teenager and having more training!

On the bad side of things, Airplane had also once said in Proud Immortal Demon Way that the Zui Xian Peak Lord Zhang Qingyan liked his drink too much. This was the peak specializing in alcohol, so it had seemed to make sense! It was supposed to be funny, if anything! Well, at sixteen, Shang Qinghua found out that the System had focused too much on the “too much” part of that statement and now the head disciple of Zui Xian Peak was pretty clearly a budding alcoholic. (Sometimes a cultivator’s constitution and ability to “cure” themselves just… made a person drink more. A lot more.) Which was… not good.

At seventeen, Shang Qinghua met Mobei-Jun.

He didn’t know where to get started with Mobei-Jun.

Somehow he’d… forgotten that Mobei-Jun had been originally based on Airplane’s idea of “the perfect man” and not the super pretty, muscular but slim-waisted protagonist type? The real Mobei-Jun was… tall… and big… and thick. Mobei-Jun’s intimidating features were… more striking than pretty. The first time Shang Qinghua had come back to his Leisure House and found this spoiled brat of an ice demon napping shirtless on his bed, and gotten an eyeful of all that heavy muscle and chest hair, he’d nearly knocked himself out on the doorframe trying to turn away before he had a heart attack.

Mobei-Jun really was going to be the death of him, holy shit.

Especially because this ice demon really was a spoiled brat! Airplane had described this character as being arrogant and apathetic, so now Shang Qinghua had to deal with a Mobei-Jun who took long baths and then carelessly dripped water all over the floor and all over fresh sheets! Who ate all of Shang Qinghua’s cooking and ungratefully only demanded more food, sprawled over furniture not really fit for someone of his size, and then watched Shang Qinghua like a fat tiger! Ahhh, this demon really was lucky he was handsome!

Mobei-Jun was also kind of violent, and mean, which was… well, it sucked.

Back to the sect that Shang Qinghua was now actively betraying, however, as far as he could see, there was still one future peak lord missing.

It wasn’t Shen Qingqiu, who Shang Qinghua had thought would be the last one to show up. Shen Qingqiu had shown up and had been advancing through the ranks of Qing Jing Peak before Shang Qinghua had even met Mobei-Jun, which meant that Yue Qingyuan had finally stopped looking like someone had torn out his soul. (Shang Qinghua had been forced to grit his teeth every time that someone mentioned how privileged that Yue Qingyuan was to have been granted that year of secluded cultivation in the Lingxi Caves at such a young age.)

No, of all the peak lords, it was Liu Qingge who Shang Qinghua had yet to meet.

After meeting Mobei-Jun and becoming an inner disciple, the System had given Shang Qinghua three years to make it to head disciple, probably because the deadline for a new generation of peak lords to ascend was fast approaching. He was working hard to achieve that! Not only did he have to sabotage the current favorite, but he had to make sure all his own training, missions, work, and research were as close to flawless as he could get it! All while keeping an intruding ice demon happy! He wasn’t totally sure that he was going to make it at this rate, even though he’d been here for years.

So it was a little concerning that Liu Qingge hadn't shown up yet. There was so much left to do. A world-state that had yet to be established. Liu Qingge had work to do here!

Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu still had to develop a hatred for each other as disciples that would extend to everyone believing that Shen Qingqiu had murdered Liu Qingge as peak lords, after all. Granted, all Liu Qingge really had to do was beat everyone else on Bai Zhan Peak up to obtain the position, and it wasn’t exactly hard to get Shen Qingqiu to develop a lifelong grudge, but the guy was still cutting it pretty close.

It was possible that Liu Qingge was already on Bai Zhan Peak and making good progress, but that he was just so solitary and focused on searching out the next big battle that Shang Qinghua had just never had the opportunity to meet him. Shang Qinghua did his best to avoid Bai Zhan Peak most of the time, honestly! He was curious about where Liu Qingge was, about what the man looked like, but he didn’t let himself sweat at not seeing the future war god, when he already had so many things to sweat about. The System had taken care of bringing in everyone else, so Shang Qinghua was sure that Liu Qingge would follow sooner or later.

Shang Qinghua’s first sign that something was wrong was that, on the day that Liu Qingge finally announced his existence by beating up everyone on Bai Zhan Peak, everyone was saying things like, “I can’t believe some kid managed to topple all of Bai Zhan like that!”

He… may or may not have ignored this sign.

To be fair to this poor writer-turned-disciple, though, he’d been up all night finishing some paperwork catastrophe the An Ding Peak Lord had thrown at him to fix, as some kind of “test” of his logistics skills. Upon hearing the latest gossip, Shang Qinghua thought, “Oh, finally?” And then his overtired brain collapsed from the effort of thinking two words together in a sentence, and all he could manage from there was to feel the intense need to go to bed at a maximum, static-y volume. No words. No more thinky thoughts. Just the need for speedy sleep.

He stumbled through the rest of his day and then passed out for 18 hours straight. In hindsight, this would have been the time when the gossip was at its hottest. He missed all of it.

When he woke up, everyone was still dealing with the aftermath of what had happened on Bai Zhan Peak, but the conversation had shifted more towards replacing Qian Cao Peak’s depleted supplies and the repairs to Bai Zhan’s training grounds. Liu Qingge was the name on everyone’s lips, still, but everyone knew the basic information now. Now, everyone was just exclaiming over and over again how unbelievably young (and pretty) he was to have bested every other disciple on the sect battle-focused peak. This didn't seem too strange.

The System probably would have based the War God's appearance on his sister, Liu Mingyan, a strong contender for the most beautiful woman in all of Proud Immortal Demon Way. Liu Qingge apparently being a very pretty boy fell neatly into line with all the other character design surprises that Shang Qinghua had gotten smacked with so far.

If Airplane had known that he'd be transmigrating into his novel, maybe there would have been even more handsome men! And everyone would have lived happily ever after and nothing bad would have happened ever, probably, but also there might be more sexy guys too.

-

TBC

[melancholydreadfuldream]

no one rips it up like you

Fandom: Doctor Who

Summary: You are tired of being second best. Hell, you are not even second best. You don't know what number you are on in regard of the Doctor's priority.

 Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes as usual, attempted suicide, death, etc. You have been warned.

    You are tired of being second best. Hell, you are not even second best. You don't know what number you are on in regard of the Doctor's priority. The first place certainly belong to Amy and then River, if the rumour about River being the Doctor's wife is true. 

  You tried not to be jealous of Amy who have the most of the Doctor's attention. But it is hard. You were both his current companion and yet it feels like you are nothing to him. You were not as brave, smart or sassy, like Amy or River. Those are the sort of behaviour the Doctor encouraged in companion. He need that quality in his companion so that they can keep up with him.  

  You have no idea what the Doctor saw in you at the beginning when he invited you into his Tardis but it certainly an opportunity of lifetime and so you accepted his offer. The first time you did meet the Doctor, you did show that once-in-a-while bravery and maybe that is why the Doctor thought you deserved an invitation into his Tardis. Unfortunately, you don't always show that quality of yours during adventure. Honestly, you didn't even have to, what with Amy on the spot ready to speak out her mind, being sassy as hell, toward villains of the days, which always earned her the Doctor's proud smile. And on the occasion of adventures where you stumble with River and her awesomeness, the Doctor is quick to flirt with her.

  You didn't hate Amy or River; jealous, yes, as ugly as that emotion is, it is quite normal. But you found friendship with Amy and respect for River. Amy is kind and protective of you as you often unable to talk back when people are mean to you. River saved your life during the weeping angels fiasco and a few times after. For some reason, River seemed to have some soft spot for you. But then again, maybe she did that because you are the Doctor's companion. She showed concern for you the few times you met which is more that you can say about the Doctor.

 The thing is at first, it wasn't like that. The Doctor always gave both you and Amy the same amount of attention. Somehow along the way, that changed. If you have to point the change, it must be after you, River and the Ponds got invitation from the future Doctor at Lake Silencio. You noticed that the Doctor is always staring at Amy borderline obsessive, as if he is trying to record her every movement. He never has time for you anymore, always quick to be distracted by anything or by Amy.

  It hurts. It is so hurt. At first, you endured it but when time passes and he still ignored you, you have to wonder if he grew tired of you and if he is leaving hints that he want you to leave the Tardis. 

  No one noticed your pain. At least, you thought so, until Rory talked to you and asked if you are okay.

  "I'm always alright." You said with a forced smile. You were honestly surprised that he noticed. You always thought he only have eyes for Amy. But you should have known. Rory is soft and kind to everyone he met and that of course included you.

  "Then why do you look so sad? why do you look like you wanted to cry?" He asked in concern.

  You didn't meant to but you started to cry in front of him. 

  Rory gave you a hug as he awkwardly patted your back in comforting gesture. He gave you tissue to wipe your tears and snots as you told him your insecurity and how lonely you felt most of the times. 

  "I know it was childish of me. Why do I want him to pay attention to me anyway?" You sniffed as fresh hot tears once more filled your eyes. "I am so stupid."

  Rory look pained when he heard your confession. He comforted you, saying the right words to make you feel better about yourself and your situation.

  "I'm sorry." You said after you calmed down some. "I didn't meant to cry on you."

  "It's okay. We are friends, aren't we? If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, feel free to ask me."

  You couldn't help but smile at that. "Aren't you afraid Amy will be jealous?"

  Rory snorted, not unkindly. "I don't think Amy is capable of being jealous."

  You chuckled as you agreed with his statement. Amy is so perfect and so lucky to have a loyal husband as Rory. You only wished you have half of her charm.

  7777

  You didn't know what you were thinking anyway when you saw right before your eyes of the two Doctors' presence in the St.John's Base. No, wait, of course, you do, you wish one of them can maybe pay attention to you now, that is how pathetic you are. Heck, you would settle for the ganger Doctor if only he will turn his eyes on you. But, of course, his eyes glued only on Amy, despite her treatment of his ganger status.

  You don't know what your stand is about the gangers but you know the Doctor will want peace between humans and gangers and so, naturally, you will stand by his firm belief. The Doctor is kind and strive to do the right thing and you can only wish and try to do the same thing as he did. You watched as Amy giggled as the Doctor talked to her and spun the chair she was in around. How come he never spend any time with you anymore? Was there something wrong with you? 

  You sighed as you tried to compose yourself as you instead try to approach the ganger Doctor but he barely able to keep his eyes off Amy, only give you a half-smile, before leaving you behind to go to Amy. Amy, always Amy! You hated yourself for resenting Amy, she is your friend. This feeling of yours is disgusting. No wonder the Doctor didn't pay attention to you. You are so ugly on the inside.

  It was at that moment that you realized you have to either confront the Doctor for the truth or just leave the Tardis forever before your ugly emotion took full control of you. But, you are a coward, you are afraid to confront the Doctor. What if he really ask you to leave? What if he thinks you are not good enough to be his companion? Because, the truth is, you don't want to leave the Doctor or the Tardis. So, what now? Do you just have to endure this pain and hope someday he will set his eyes on you again?

  "(name)? (name)!"

  You blinked your eyes through the tears.

  The Doctor is standing right in front of you with concern in his eyes.

  You wiped your tears. You gulped. "I think I got something in my eyes..." You said dumbly.

  The Doctor look pained at your words. "You can tell me anything that is bothering you."

  "Can I, really?" You didn't meant to say that but you sort of blurted it out.

  The Doctor look surprised that you even have to ask that. "Of course. You are my friend, (name), I care for you."

  You bit your lips. "I..." You can't tell him anything. What if he really ask you to leave later? But the dam is finally broken, despite your will, you ended up blurting it out. "Am I still good enough to be your friend?"

  The Doctor frowned at that.

  "Have you grow tired of me yet?" You asked again despite uttering those despairing questions brought more tears and heartache inside you.

  "What bring this on?" The Doctor asked in concern.

  You scoffed. "You have been ignoring me since forever. If you wanted me to leave, you should have say so." You wanted to hit yourself for saying that.

  "Have I? I didn't realize that I hurt you this badly." The Doctor whispered softly. "I'm so sorry, (name)."

  You wiped your tears again. You refused to look at the Doctor, ashamed and honestly unable to face him anymore.

  The Doctor put his hand over yours. He then pulled your chin up so that you look at him. He smiled kindly at you but his eyes bore sorrow. "You will always be my friend, (name), my precious, soft and kind, friend. I didn't meant to make you feel less about yourself. What I have been doing...I am not ignoring you, (name), I have my reasons and you will understand soon."  He said as he used his thumb to wipe your tears. "I promise."

  You stared at him hesitantly hopeful. Seeing the expression on his face makes you feel guilty for thinking the worst of him but also you feel the tension inside you slowly crumble away. "You better keep your promise..." You finally replied, forcing a smile on your face for his benefit.

  He grinned at you.

  You stood up, wanting to leave the room to wash your face when Amy entered the room in a hurry, quick to approach the Doctor. You bumped into the ganger Doctor. You apologized but he ignored you as he tried to reach out to Amy. Amy yelled at him to stay away. You were rooted to the spot as you watched the rest of the crew turned against the ganger Doctor despite the Doctor's protest. You left the room and goes to the bathroom, washing your face a few times, hoping to wash away the evidence of your breakdown.

  As you stared at the mirror at your reflection, you flinched suddenly at the sudden sharp headaches. You sighed as you pulled a medicine strip from your pocket. You have been having headaches every time after you have a crying fit so you took the medicines everywhere you goes. After you swallowed a pill, you took another look at your reflection, forcing yourself to smile cheerfully. You sighed and returned to face the music.

  The Doctor spoke really fast at everyone about his plan, sending you a smile once in a while. You smiled back at him.

  You really thought that everything will be fine now. But series of events revealed that the Doctor is actually a ganger and that he switched place with the original Doctor. You were confused then, was it all a lie then? If he was the ganger, does everything he says to you still true? You felt like the ground beneath you is about to crack under pressure.

  The ganger Doctor stared at you in sorrow after he said his goodbye with Amy. He suddenly pulled you into a hug as he whispered to you. "Everything I said to you is true, (name), so it is also true for him." 

  You stared at him after he pulled away. "I believe you when you said it but I don't think..." You turned to stare at the original Doctor who looked at your interaction with his ganger-self curiously.

  The ganger Doctor cupped your face. "Be more confident in yourself." He said and then he kissed your forehead. "Good bye, (name)." He pushes you toward the Doctor who is quick to pull you away and inside the Tardis. 

  You turned toward the ganger Doctor just as the door is closed and the last thing you saw is his kind eyes and sad smile and your heart broke for him.

  You fell down on the floor as the Doctor goes to the console to put coordinates to get the Tardis away.

  It was Rory who come to you and asked if you are okay as Amy went to apologizes to the Doctor.

  7777

  It was revealed that Amy is a ganger and that she has apparently been kidnapped for a long time. The Doctor finally revealed why he was obsessed with Amy. You felt like a fool once you learned the truth.

  The Doctor and Rory quickly prepared themselves to go to wars so to speak.

  You were tasked to get River on board the Tardis as you made your way to her prison room at Stormcage. River is dressed beautifully and is humming a song when you saw her. You explained what is going on to her.

  "Demons Run?" She asked you. She look stunned. "This is the day the Doctor found out who I really am." She turned to look at you suddenly and her eyes look sad. She walked toward you and pulled one of your hands. "I'm so sorry, (name), but you need to remember to hold on for the Doctor. He will need you."

  You blinked in confusion.

  River smiled before stepping away from you, not explaining what she meant.

  7777

  The Doctor was able to rescue Amy and baby Melody. You honestly didn't do anything worthy during the mission but you still feel victorious when you saw the Ponds reunited and crying over the baby. The Doctor walked into a room and put his arms on you as he watched the Ponds with a satisfied smile. He exchanged a look at you and grinned. You couldn't help but chuckles.

  You smiled as you also played with baby Melody. You were in awe of the newborn. Amy jokingly called you to be the god mother of her baby. You smiled widely at her as you declared yourself to be the best aunt ever. Deep inside you feel guilty for ever resenting Amy before.

  You thought that will be the happy ending they need to wrap it up. But the Doctor said they can't leave the base until they figure out why they want Amy's baby. The Doctor left to meet Madam Vastra in the control room.

  You smiled as you watched baby Melody inside the Doctor's crib as Rory and Amy playfully argued with each other. You left to follow the Doctor once Amy have baby Melody in her arms humming a lullaby. You walked on the long corridor into the console room where you saw Madam Vastra and Dorium who went back to where the others are.

  Your smartphone suddenly rang. The contact said 'Home'. You received the call just as you are about to enter the room but stopped short when you heard the Doctor yelled at the monitor.

  It was Madam Kovarian. For someone who already lost, she sounded so smug. 

  "Oh Doctor, fooling you once was a joy, but fooling you twice the same way? It's a privilege." Madam Kovarian grinned evilly at him. before the communication shut off by itself.

  The Doctor looked confused at first before his eyes widened in horror but just as he turned around to leave the room, he bumped into you. He was surprised to see you and more surprised when he suddenly feel a sudden sharp pain in his body. His eyes widened in disbelief as he took a look at you.

  You were staring at him with blank eyes. On your hand, a bloodied knife make its contact with the Doctor's flesh body. 

  "(name)?"

  You pulled the knife out and then twist it back inside a few more times, still with a blank expression on your face.

  The Doctor gripped his wounds with his hands. He reached out to you with one of his bloodied hand, smearing his blood on your face before falling to the floor.

  You blinked your eyes a few times as the haze inside your mind finally cleared. You glanced down and screamed at what you saw. You quickly bend your knees as you fussed over the Doctor. The Doctor is not responsive.

  You ran into the console in front of you trying to use speaker system to call out Rory for help but for the life of you, you couldn't figure all the buttons. You finally figures it out and you screamed for Rory, telling him the Doctor is hurt. You have no idea though if your voice come through.

  It was then you notice the blood on your hands and the bloodied knife in your grip. You dropped the knife in horror as your mind slowly supplied what it meant.

  You couldn't breathe. Your heart pounding hard. Your head is splitting with a sudden sharp headache. You fell on the floor. You stared at your hands as your body trembled from shock and fear. You screamed. You screamed and screamed. Distinctly you know you should warn everyone, should get the Doctor the help he needed, but for some reason, you couldn't stop screaming.

  Your vision suddenly started to grew blurry before black is all you can see. Distinctly you saw the Doctor's body started to glow yellow just before you lose consciousness.

  7777

  You woke up inside your room back in the Tardis.

  "You are awake."

  Your mind does not register the presence of a man in black suit. You blinked a few times until your vision cleared. 

  The man stared at you flatly.

  "W-who are you?" You asked nervously clutching on your blanket.

  "The Doctor."

  You blinked in confusion. "What about him?"

  He raised his attack eyebrows at you, not impressed that you still not getting it. "I am him."

  Your mind went blank at that. It was then you remembered, finding the Doctor's bloodied figure on the floor. You gasped. "The Doctor...is dead..."

  "I'm really not. I regenerated. Well, that part was very surprising considering I should no longer have any regeneration left." The Doctor said.

  "I...I killed him."

  The Doctor stared at you, not contradicting your claim. He sat there, observing you as you cried, full on sobbing. He made no move to comfort you. He looked cross. 

  You sobbed tearfully. "What have I done?"

  He sighed. "Don't cry. I am no good at crying human."

  You glanced at him. "Are you really him? Are you really the Doctor?"

  "I already said I am." He said a tad harsh, making you flinched. "Get some rest. We will talk again once you refresh." He left the room.

  You watched him go and wonder if he hates you now. Well he has every reason to hate you, after all, you did kill his previous self.

  7777

  Amy and Rory are wary around you and you can't blame them. But they did filled you in about what happened that day.

  You were saddened when you found out they lost their baby and surprised at the revelation that River is actually Melody.

  The Ponds also have hard time accepting the new Doctor. He is so different from his previous self. For once, he claimed he now ban hugging. 

  River visited the Tardis via vortex manipulator and went to talk to the Doctor, flashing you a kind smile as she saw you.

  You followed her and eavesdrop on her conversation with the Doctor something about your brainwave pattern.

  The Doctor suddenly opened the door and pulled you inside. You nearly stumbled if not for his firm grip.

  "Doctor." River warned. "Be gentle."

  They explained that someone hacked your brainwave pattern causing you to do thing you normally would not do. He wants to inject you with some chip so that he can always monitor your brainwave pattern at all times and isolates whatever cause you to turn against the Doctor.

  You agreed because you don't want to put anyone else in danger. But you got the sense that this Doctor doesn't take no for an answer from you right now.

  "I don't understand how can someone hack into my brain like that? I think I would know if someone did something to me."

  "Would you? Even Amy herself has no idea she was kidnapped for so long..." River said.

  "Are you telling me that I am a ganger too?" You asked.

  "I think someone did something to you sometimes after the Ponds' wedding."

  "I would know, wouldn't I?" You asked brokenly. "How can someone mess with my mind like this and I have no idea? How can they made me hurt the D...hurt you? How can they make me a killer without my knowledge?"

  River glanced at you sympathetically. She knew how it feels to have no control over mind and body.

  The Doctor exhaled. "I have no idea. But I will find out. And when I do, I will make them pay for whatever they did to you." He said as he glanced at you. "That is a promise."

  7777

  You weren't coping well with the fact that you have taken the Doctor's life despite him able to escape death by regenerating.

  Despite the Doctor's promise to find whoever did this to you, he is mostly busy hunting down Kovarian. You can hardly begrudging the fact once again you are not his first priority. Melody is still need rescuing after all. And you prayed that they will find her soon. Even if apparently Melody will turned out okay as she will become River.

  River had told the Doctor to be discreet so that Kovarian will never find out that he has regenerated already.

  Everyone is still talking about Lake Silencio and the fact the Doctor died there in his eleventh form. 

  River had the idea of using the Doctor's ganger from their time at St.John's Base to trick the silence.

  And that is how you found yourself face to face with a ghost.

  Amy is happy to reunite with the ganger Doctor especially since he has the face of the raggedy man she knew and loved.

  You were happy too but mostly you are afraid of his reaction upon finding out that you had killed the Doctor that has the same face as him. So, you mostly keep your distance.

  You were hiding from both Doctors somewhere in the Tardis but the ganger Doctor somehow able to find you.

  "So, this is where you have been hiding..." He murmured as he glanced down at you who were sitting on the floor with a book.

  You glanced up at him. "Yeah, well, I can't find a hole to bury myself under so..."

  He sighed as he took a seat on the floor beside you. "It wasn't your fault..."

  You didn't bother replying to that statement because you didn't believe it.

  The ganger Doctor sat beside you, no words are exchanged. He glanced at you with sorrow in his eyes, making you unable to ignore with him or focus on your own book.

  "What?"

  "(name), you are forgiven, always and completely." He said as he hold one of your hands.

  "I thought that you said it wasn't my fault."

  "It is not your fault. But it seemed to me that you need to have forgiveness. So, I'm telling you now..." 

  You felt your face gotten hot as tears threaten to fell on your cheeks. "I wish he said it. Because the one I did wrong to is him."

  "He probably think you know that it wasn't your fault and that there is nothing to forgive." 

  "How can you be sure? He is no longer the same as you. He has different opinions for everything now."

  "He is still me, still the Doctor, just slightly different." He said. "Though that rules of him, of no hugging is rubbish."

  You chuckled at that.

  He beamed, satisfied being able to make you laugh a little.

  7777

  The presence of the ganger Doctor lessen your guilt a bit. You could almost lied to yourself that he is the Doctor that you lost. 

  And then you learned of what the Doctor and River planned for the ganger Doctor. They wanted him to take the Doctor's place to die in Lake Silencio.

  "Will he survive it?" You asked. You don't want to lose him. The first time is hard enough, you don't think you can handle it.

  No one answered you.

  You shook your head. "You can't just sacrifice him."

  "We have no choice. If we didn't the paradox will destroy half of the world... It was a fixed point in time. The Doctor dies at Lake Silencio."

  You glared at the Doctor. "You said all life matters. Are you saying ganger don't matter now?"

  "(name)..." River spoke up.

  "It isn't fair!" You yelled at them.

  The twelfth Doctor scoffed at you. "Life is never fair. If it is not because of you, I would still be in my previous form and I would be the one who die on that lake. Instead I died in the hand of a so called friend. Stab multiply times actually."

  "Doctor!!" River warned him with a glare at his harshness.

  You felt like you were being slapped. You glanced at his face, trying to hold back your tears. You left the room without a word.

  The ganger Doctor glared at the Doctor. "I sometimes forgot how stupid I can be..." He said coldly at the original. He turned to look after you.

  7777

  In order to trick Kovarian and the silence, the ganger Doctor has to take the Doctor's place and continue his merry way having adventures with his companions.

  You and Amy honestly loves it, it was like having the real him back. It was apparent that you both has a hard time getting along with the new Doctor.

  You reluctantly said your goodbye once again with the ganger Doctor as the time come for him to go to the Lake Silencio. Was it always been the ganger Doctor then who died at the beginning?

  You never able to mend your relationship with the new Doctor. He is just too cold, too unapproachable. 

  You wanted to leave. What was the point of staying when he doesn't even want you around? But he won't let you leave until he solve your brainwave pattern.

  He noticed that your brain chemicals seemed unbalance, making you get stressed out. He prescribed you with drug to combat it.

  But honestly you felt toxic. You didn't think you could stay with him in his Tardis or having adventures. You simply no longer have the energy for it.  You were done with the Doctor.

  River had begged you to stay. "Remember what I said at Stormcage, to hold on the Doctor? I need you to do that right now."

  "He doesn't need me. He has you, Amy and Rory. Why would he want me around, his killer?"

  River revealed that she is also the Doctor's killer. She told you that she is the person behind the spacesuit at Lake Silencio. She told you how she was born and raised to kill the Doctor. She said she understood you for she too has no control over her body when she shot the Doctor back then. And yet the Doctor forgives her.

  You were surprised. If what she said is true, then it makes sense why she seemed to have soft spot for you. But that is also meant she always knew that you will ended up killing the Doctor and she didn't say anything or try to stop it. You were a bit upset at her for that.

  "I can't interfere. Like I said, your future is my past. I can't change anything." River said. "No matter how much I want to."

  7777

  The Doctor glanced at your brainwave pattern at the monitor in the console room. He exhaled. He still has no idea how to fix you. Deep inside he was enraged at whoever screw you up just to get to him.

  He suspected it was Kovarian's scheme too at first but if it was really her, she would know by now that the Doctor has regenerated. It seemed his lies back in Lake Silencio worked out. 

  But he does think about the prophecy Dorium talked, something regarding Trenzalore. Has that prophecy become invalid then? As it spoke of the fall of the Eleventh and he has actually regenerated into his Twelfth form.

  He recalled his conversation with his ganger version. He had warned him to get his bearing together or he will end up losing you and the Ponds.

  Sometimes the Doctor wonder if he is still the Doctor. He felt disconnected from his usual Doctor persona.

  7777

  Following the ganger Doctor and River's advice, you tried to talk to the Doctor but it just hard. He made it hard. He is so stern and cold unlike his past version.

  You talked to Amy and Rory about it and they both agreed to try to bond with the new Doctor as best as they can. After all the Doctor is a dear friend. They have to try to reconnect with him. He is worth the effort.

  It was Amy that is able to break through the ice around the Doctor. You frowned as you saw Amy hugged him despite his protests. They were arguing before but Amy is able to get through him.

  You were jealous. No matter which Doctor, they always prefer Amy over you.

  The Tardis currently landed in Cardiff for refuel. You got out of the Tardis in daze with tears in your eyes. You walked for how long until you found yourself seated on a bench. 

  You snapped out of your daze when your smartphone is ringing. The contact 'Home' displayed on the screen. You received the call and everything turned black.

  7777

  "You are awake." A computer-generated voice called out to you.

  You jerked awake in confusion as you took in your new surrounding. 

  There is a monitor on the wall with a screensaver of sort that spelled GI.

  "Petta, report on the Doctor." The voice said.

  You were confused. Who is Petta?

  The voice repeated the command.

  "It won't work." The Doctor replied suddenly.

  You turned toward the Doctor in confusion but he paid you no mind as he glanced at the monitor.

  "Intruder alert. Intruder alert." The voice sounded an alarm.

  The Doctor look bored. "Don't bother. My friends has this base of yours surrounded by now." He said. "GI...right? Great Intelligence? Not that smart eh? Why don't you scan her?"

  You were scared now. "Doctor, what is going on?"

  A ray of light suddenly scanned you and the voice replied in monotone voice, "Non-human detected. Analysis showed a flesh ganger."

  You felt like you are being slapped. You are a ganger? "Doctor!!" You yelled at him.

  He finally turned to you. He walked toward you and touched the side of your forehead and a flashback memory assaulted your sense.

  You were back at the Demons Run watching yourself just after you found the Doctor's bloodied form. You watched as the you of that time frantically trying to call for help and then noticing the bloody knife on your hands. You had screamed as the realization of what you have done come over you. You watched yourself sobbed in despair and then you stabbed yourself.

  You gasped and jerked away from the vision. You don't remember doing that last part.

  You heard the Doctor is explaining to the Great Intelligence how his plan to get you to kill him failed and what he did to save you.

  The Doctor has just regenerated and the first thing he saw was your dying self. Despite still out of sort, he knew what he has to do. He managed to save you and then he put you inside the flesh technology on the lab at Demons Run.

  Your flesh self actually is somewhat free from whatever virus infecting your original self. The Great Intelligence had apparenty brainwash your original self to kill the Doctor and then yourself. With how they messed with your brain chemical, it was easy to make yourself commit suicide afterward.

  But the GI didn't count on the Doctor regenerating and able to save you. The Doctor had made a flesh ganger of you and set you as a bait to trap the GI to show itself.  The chip inside you is also serve as a tracker. That is how the Doctor is able to get here as fast as he is.

  The Doctor demanded that the GI undo what it has done to your original self. 

  The GI had laughed in that grating computer voice of it. The monitor show the sims-like man cartoon of an old man with sinister face, mocking the Doctor for his inability to fully save you.

  "The reason you made a copy of flesh ganger is because you know Petta will obey me and when she woke up to find you alive, she will have no choice but to kill you again and then herself." The GI grinned. 

  The Doctor look very cross but didn't deny the GI's claim. He started threatening the GI in his fury of the oncoming storm.

  You froze, still stuck on the loop of what the GI had said about your original self.

  Despite his carefully constructed plan, the GI had managed to escape from the Doctor's grasp albeit wounded through the computer virus the Doctor uploaded.

  The Doctor has no idea what even the GI is but he will not rest until he recapture him. He turned to look at you.

  "Does everyone but me know that I am not real?" You asked.

  The Doctor didn't reply at first but he eventually nodded.

  "Did the ganger Doctor also know?"

  The Doctor nodded again.

  You snorted. "So, everyone know and lie to me about it all."

  The Doctor didn't say anything.

  "Where is my real body then? Inside the Tardis, yeah? Where?" You asked him.

  "Does it matter?"

  "Where is my true body, Doctor?!" You screamed at him.

  7777

  It makes sense now. Amy and Rory were not wary of you. That was pity for you, of being the one in the dark, out of the loop. Everyone kindness was just a lie.

  You glanced at your original self lying weakly on the bed. Your life is still on the line it seemed. You often spend your time staring at yourself which probably isn't healthy but who cares?

  You made your way to the machine that held a life support system and considering to terminate it. 

  "Step away from it, (name)." You heard the Doctor's demand.

  "Why? Do you think this is what we want? Do you think we could live with it after being a killer?"

  "I am here. You are not a killer. And I will fix you."

  "And then what? You will erased my memory of the truth?"

  The Doctor didn't reply but something on his expression convinced you that it was indeed his plan.

  You scoffed in disbelief.

  "Why does it matter? Didn't my ganger self had told you already that you are forgiven?"

  "Even if you could, do you really think I could forgive myself? I will always be a threat to you!"

  "I swear to you no matter how long, no matter what, I will find a way to fix you. You can live a normal life." The Doctor pleaded. "Just don't do this. Don't throw it all away."

  "I'm sorry, Doctor."

  "I'm sorry too, (name)." The Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at you, much to your shock, and vaporizing you.

  The Doctor stepped toward the bed, staring at you with sorrow. "I will protect you, (name), even from yourself."

       A/N: As usual I ended up writing different from what I've planned and it probably not gonna making any sense again. Honestly, I always ended up not finishing my stories but not on purpose, mostly because i have no idea how to fill in the blank. i'm really bad at this. But writing when I have the boost for it is fun so I hope you have fun reading this too. Please leave comments if you like this. Take care of yourself, stay safe.