#suddenly i need to sort all this out and learn how to make a skater dress despire never succeeding at more than a pillow case in my life

[spilling-blood]

This has nothing to do with my luedor decorations but I got 4 yards of this fabric with zero current plans for it because I could not control myself.

[junko-and-riri-domain]

˚₊·˚ “babes” | ot7 ˚₊·˚

↬ pairing: ot7 x reader ↬ genre: fluff | drabbles | scenarios  ↬ warnings: none ↬ w/c: 1.3k ↬ requested by: 🤍 ↬ request was: Hihii I was wondering if you could do enhypens reaction to calling them things like baby or my love in your native language (excluding English and Korean) ↬ a/n (a few things !!)

since i clearly don’t what “my love” in everyone’s native language “babes” is the place holder word and you can imagine it as whatever “my love / love” is in your language !! also i haven’t done an ot7 post in a while so these might be kinda bad and lowkey might not make any sense 💔

also, the 500 followers event is closed (unless you decide to send one in tonight then i’ll still write it 👀 !! ) but somehow we hit 800 followers today !! how this blog managed to get like 200 followers while i was ia is beyond me 😭

but thank you everyone 🥺 i’ll be writing requests from the 500 followers throughout the week and responding to asks as well <33 

˚₊·˚♤˚· lee heeseung ˚₊·˚♤˚·

late one night you and hee are laying in bed, unable to sleep so you ask him,

“babes, wanna eat some ramen?” he’s like yes, ramen !! but wait,

“babes?” he asks. “isn’t that fish in russian?” (like that whole “te amo” means “i love you” in tagalog / filipino even though it actually means ‘i love you’ in spanish. but yeah, he’d probably think it was something completely different in another language lmao) once you realized what you just called him you tell him,

“it doesn’t mean fish, it means love in [insert your language].” the dots connect in his head and all of a sudden,

“i babes you,” you hear. you can’t help but smile at him and laugh a little because,

“that’s not how the grammar works, but at least you tried.” from then on if he wanted something from you he’d do aegyo and would say.

“babes, please !!”

˚₊·˚✎˚·  park jongseong / jay | self indulgent jay mini fic somewhat related to this req ˚₊·˚✎˚· 

you’re chilling with jay one day and all of a sudden,

“hey, babes can you hand me the remote?” you ask. suddenly he’s frozen in place, looking at you like,

“did you just call me love in [insert your language]?” you look at him, slightly tilting your head to the side and you’re all like,

“huh, i guess i did.” in his head, his mind is going crazy because what ?? you l-word him ?? but then you’re just like,

“wait, how do you know what that word means?” and then he gets all flustered and begins to ramble.

“i went on a YouTube spiral at four am, and, uh… uhh… yeah, i just heard it. it sounded unique so i sorta just remembered.”

“when?”

“like, a few weeks ago.”

“what were you watching?”

“the basics to [insert your language] 101.” you’re shocked but not really since jay is basically a language genius. but now your heart feels all fuzzy and warm because he’s learning your language.

˚₊·˚ ✁˚· sim jaeyun / jake ˚₊·˚ ✁˚·

if anything, you probably didn’t call him babes first. why? because you said it to layla. you stopped by jake’s place before the both of you went to your parent’s place. since you haven’t seen layla in a while, she instantly captured your attention (like she so rightfully deserves).

“babes, i missed you!” you say as you smile while petting her and seeing her tail wag in happiness. jake looks at the sight of the two loves of his life and can’t stop the way his heart flutters a little. he doesn’t want to ruin the moment but he wants your attention so he ends up sort of sitting on the ground next to layla and peeks up at you with wide eyes and a smile.

“babes?” he asked. you end up also sitting on the floor, layla settling onto your lap,

“it means love in [insert your language].” he frowns,

“you said you love layla before saying you love me?”

“who says i love you?” he gets kind of pouty because he knows that you love but he wants to hear it. some time passes and when you’re at your parent’s house, you’re talking to them and you tell them in [insert your language],

“i love jake.” he hears the word and his name in the same sentence. so he takes a chance and using the same sentence you said but with your name he says,

“i love ___.”

˚₊·˚ ❆˚· park sunghoon ˚₊·˚ ❆˚··

it probably slipped out in a moment of panic while the two of you were ice skating. sometimes you slipped into [insert your language] due to a surge of various emotions, sometimes anger, fear, or frustration. sunghoon had asked if you wanted to go on a date to the new rink that just opened and you said yes because ice skating with hoon, how could you miss the opportunity ?? he was holding your hand and skating to your pace trying to teach you how to ice skate. but somewhere down the line, he ended up letting go without you realizing it (like when you ride a bike and the person behind you holding the bike lets go !!) so you turn around, eyes wide at the distance between you and sunghoon and you’re like,

“YAH, BABES YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LET GO,” and all of a sudden you lose your balance. thankfully, sunghoon being the great skater that he is manages to get to you and holds so you so that you don’t fall. you’re clutching onto his jacket, trying to catch your breath, “i hate you,” you mutter. he smiles as he moves your hair to get out of your face,

“yeah, keep telling yourself that. wait? what does babes mean?” he asks.

“it means love in [insert your language].” suddenly, ice king composure melts. heart going a hundred miles a minute. mind is all like wait what? he accidentally loses his footing and balance, falling while taking you down with him but you’re fine since you landed on top of him.

“are you ok, babes?” he asks to at least try and keep some cool because even though you’re in an ice skating rink, it suddenly feels as if things just got a hundred degrees hotter.

˚₊·˚❂˚· kim sunoo ˚₊·˚❂˚·

he had been interested in learning about your language and culture, mostly for the food… but a+ for effort, right? he would often ask you, “what does this mean?” “what does that mean?” that kind of stuff, since he was genuinely curious. he picked up a few words here and there, occasionally using a word that he knew in a sentence while talking to you. your family asked you to bring him over for a family gathering / party situation sometimes it felt like they liked him more than you. you were sitting down with a plate of food,

“babes, can you hand me a napkin?” suddenly, your and sunoo’s ears are filled with the sounds of “OOO” and your family begins teasing you. to yourself, you’re just like, did i really just call sunoo… but when you look at sunoo his smile is the widest it’s ever been

“you called me love, matji, matji?” (matji meaning like “right” in korean, idk it just felt right to spell that out here ok anyways)

“how did… how did you know?” and he does that thing where he kind of giggles,

“you just confirmed it!”

˚₊·˚✧˚· yang jungwon ˚₊·˚✧˚·

one night jungwon was dropping you off to the front of your doorstep to make sure you got home safe and sound. you were trying to be cute and said,

“saramhae” (saram means person in korean, but what you really meant to say was, “saranghae” which means i love you in korean). jungwon then does that thing where he smirks at you, tilting his head slightly, and he says,

“nado saramhae, babes.” (so like “i love you too, [love in insert your language]” but it’s saramhae because that’s what you said at first) but then,

“babes?” you ask. he plays it off by saying,

“i’m the leader, i need to learn how to communicate in different languages for engenes.” but really it’s just secret language learner pt. 2 exposed.

˚₊·˚⍢˚· nishimura riki / ni-ki ˚₊·˚⍢˚·

ni-ki’s head was on your lap, eyes closed since he was taking a nap and decided your lap was the best thing to claim as his pillow. you needed to get up so to wake him, you poked his cheeks,

“ni-ki,” you said. nothing.

“riki-ah?” this time as more of a question while lightly patting his hair. also nothing.

“babes, if you don’t wake up i’m gonna shove you off my lap.” suddenly, his eyes open and he looks up at you which causes you to jump back in your seat slightly.

“bae-ehbs?” he asks, trying to sound out the word.

“uh huh.”

“wait doesn’t that mean, love?”

“no… it means pabo,” you reply playfully. (pabo meaning like dum dum / stupid in korean, but it’s not meant to sound offensive here !!)

“no it means ‘love’ jay hyung told me about that word when i started dating you.”

“well, if you knew then why’d you ask?”

“wait, so it actually does mean love?”

“you just said jay told you!”

“yeah but i didn’t believe him.” at the confirmation of the word’s true meaning, he feels happy and kind of giddy at the new name he’s earned for himself from you. like heeseung, he’d use it to get something that he wants from you but instead of aegyo it’s more like teasing.

↬ a/n pt. 2 + semi tmi: i speak two languages and i suck at both, english and my parent’s native language. two & a quarter if you count the bare minimum of spanish i learned from taking it during the first two years of high school and the few words of korean i picked up from kdramas lmao 😭

❦ written by riri ( @enhykkul​ ) | blog masterlist | blog navigation

↬ tagging: @bloom-bloom-pow​ | @markleepooh​ | @sunshineshouchan​ (permanent taglist is open if anyone wants to be in it !!)

[einsk8rot]

man i really did just realize (a lot after looking at @emmiewtf 's posts and @//animemindset on tik tok they are so cool) why the last episode really did overall feel so much more unsatisfactory and didnt have like. as much oomf as it could've. (tiny tl:dr at the end if you cant read through this all this do be long)

despite having some really cool ass scenes and little things and some cute ass renga stuff. it was so much more focused and around adam than usual? and being genuinely uncomfortable and still not really liking adam because he's still. super creepy. its really just kinda disappointing to see how focused it was on him and how he literally didn't get like any consequences for any of the shit he pulled? like cool clown man you like skateboarding again, are we like gonna acknowledge the constant assault of skaters you went against, one being reki why is obviously just a minor trying to have fun while you literally traumatized him? like so much of the shit that happened to reki. adam inadvertently or not caused that and the fear of him getting left behind by langa and stuff because of how adam skated with reki. like i don't know if this makes sense and im super happy reki is happy with skating again but that shit and trauma still happened and led reki to that downward spiral and i feel like we don't talk about that enough. and adam still like. never got any consequences for that. if not for weird ass behavior around people that are literally minors, especially knowing how adam acts and that adam had some sort of connection with miya who's like. hardly 13-14 or so. you had a fucked family life and childhood and it's understandable to change because of that but just because your past is shit doesnt mean you commit assault for fun and act like that to kids. and innocent people just watching like when he used bystanders when he raced. that wasn't fun that was just. concerning. and he got no punishments, he like, as i understand practically got away free

he genuinely is not a character i like. and many people probably feel the same. the last episode was more focused on him and redeeming him compared to others and it really just didn't feel right. more focus on the protagonists, reki and langa, ESPECIALLY reki just would've made it better i think? more about their relationship, cherry, joe, MIYA. miya like, got so pushed on the back burner in the more recent episodes? didn't even get an on screen apology or proper explanation of reki's situation and as someone who genuinely loves miya that was. pretty disappointing please give miya more appreciation. but despite that uh. reki and langa's relationship was like, practically used to give adam a reason to skate for fun again. which is. like alright i guess? i just really didnt like it. it was fucking amazing to see langa break out of 'the zone' type thing because of reki and him putting fun in his skateboard but the focus on teaching adam thats its fun. it makes sense, it was practically expected considering how focused the show is on skateboarding being fun but after all the stuff adam did it wasn't satisfying seeing him get away with everything and suddenly be sort of friends? like ok with the rest of the cast. (ALSO TADASHI WHY WERE YOU OK WITH THE DOG THING???? DUDE???????? his like. love for skating once again is back i guess? but bro that. alright if he's into that im not judgin)

episodes like episode 6, 10, and 11 were my favorites and that's solely based on it being more centric on the actual protagonists and the cast genuinely having fun. and adam getting what he deserves. or adam must not being there HEHAHAHEJHFV so. in episode 6 there was like no adam and it was just the main 6 having fun! it was a genuinely great episode to watch with the cutest moments, plus some good ass foreshadowing? okay just more subtle buildup of reki's insecurities with some really nice moments while also being funny and fun! and that was really nice to watch! i think episodes 10 and 11, moreso 10 are my favorites because they're reki-centric. episode 10, we got to see so many intense character moments, shadow literally getting fucking bonked by that dude with his manager (STILL SAD OVER HER GETTING WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHERE IS THE HIROMI APPRECIATION HE TOOK A BAT. LIKE MULTIPLE HITS TO THE HEAD FOR HER???), i think that was the episode with the matchablossom carry? MANAGER OKA MOMENTS WE LOVE TO SEE IT HELL YES GET IT MAN WE LOVE TO SEE THE SUPPORT AND ADVICE TO REKI. TADASHI TAKING REKI TO A LOVE HOTEL?? THAT WAS SO OUT OF NOWHERE BUT ACTUALLY SO FUNNY TO ME (kinda creepy when he asked have you never been here before like. tadashi he's like, 17, please) and HOO BOY. LIKE ALL OF THE REKI MOMENTS IN THE EPISODE. GETTING MORE INSIGHT IN REKIS PAST (WHO IS!!! THE GANG HE WAS WITH!!!!!!!) AND SEEING HIM SLOWLY START TO REGAIN HIS LOVE FOR SKATING AND APOLOGIZE TO LANGA???? LITERALLY THE WHOLE SCENE WHEN HE RECONNECTED WITH LANGA. NOW THAT WAS SATISFYING. SEEING THE WAY THAT REKI LIT UP AGAIN WHEN HE REALIZED SKATING WAS FUN. HIS CONFIDENCE COMING BACK. SKATING WITH LANGA BECAUSE SKATING IS PRACTICALLY LOVE AND THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE SO THAT WAS ENOUGH. THE WAY LANGA WAS FOCUSED ON REKI. HIS BOARD WAS BROKEN BUT HIS TOP PRIORITY ISN'T JUST SKATING, IT WAS REKI. IT WASN'T FUN WITHOUT REKI AND HE LOVES IT BECAUSE ITS WITH REKI. AND EPISODE TEN JUST REALLY SHOWED REKI AND LANGA'S RELATIONSHIP PERFECTLY AND THE MAKE UP WAS SO GENUINELY SATISFYING WITH THE CUTEST FUCKING MOMENTS. THAT COMBINED WITH HOW GOOD THE PROGRESSION OF REKI WAS THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE REALLY JUST MADE IT HIT TO ME. it actually focused on the protagonists. and it was. so good. i will give anything to feel the same way i did watching episode ten for the first time again. it was a rollercoaster in all the perfect ways and it was just so genuinely fun and satisfying. and episode 11? was the perfect continuation of that for me.

episode 11. was so good. as i've seen many people say, its like reki reclaiming his spot as the main character and one of the main protagonists. he took a chance on the rain, he went against adam again and this time showed he wasn't afraid. he was just having fun and he was overcoming adam because of it. it wasn't just the board he made. this was emphasis on reki's own skills and confidence and how it got him to, even with not actually winning the race, he fuckin won. he showed adam who the hell he was. he showed EVERYONE what he was capable of despite of how much everyone doubted him. and do you know what makes that doubt people had in him even better? okay that wasn't worded really well but the doubt people had in him made the payoff of his success even better. but its the way that langa didn't fucking doubt him for a moment. he had his FULL TRUST in reki the entire time even when pretty much everyone else wanted him to give up. expected him and wanted him to stand down against adam. but langa believed and trusted reki. and even when he didn't win his first thought was to check on him and protect him from adam. renga's relationship, platonic or not is just. so amazing. so fucking beautiful despite the ups and downs because of how much care. the amount of trust they have in eachother, how they just know and understand eachother. its fun and okay because its the two of them. and that showed throughout the episode and i loved that. BUT ENOUGH RENGA. THE FOCUS ON REKI IN THE EPISODE. i believe in reki supremacy and that he needs more appreciation as the main character, the protagonist, and hoo boy. eleven was THE most satisfying shit. ARE WE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT REKI EFFECTIVELY, DESPITE TALENT, COPIED LANGA'S TRICK? HOW HE SORTA REVERSE LOVE HUGGED ADAM? HOW HE USED AND LEARNED THE THINGY MIYA TAUGHT HIM yes i forgot the name IN THE FIRST RACE WITH ADAM. HOW REKI IS SO GOOD AT LEARNING THAT SHIT JUST BECAUSE ITS FUN. HE JUST DID IT BECAUSE IT SEEMED MORE FUN AND THATS SO AMAZING. PLUS THE CONFIDENCE REKI HAS? THE RESILIENCE HE HOLDS? HOW HE KEPT STANDING UP? TAKING EVERY THROW SPIN AND PUNCH once again fuck adam thats just a kid having fun and you were punching him until he was bleeding. if he didn't pull away, adam had those spiky things on his elbows. he would've genuinely hurt reki AGAIN. PLUS HIM PULLING THE FULL SWING KISS ON REKI???????? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. LIKE THE WAY REKI EVADED IT WAS SO COOL GO OFF REKI BABY YOU'RE DOING AMAZING BUT ADAM WHAT THE FUCK. but on the note of reki being amazing again, this episode really did show that. it had so much focus on reki and showed how him being reki, his confidence, the skills he developed himself, his love for skating is what makes him amazing. him being reki. thats what made people like him. thats what gave him everyone's support. thats what made him practically win and show that he IS the main character. that was reki at his BEST. the satisfaction of proving everyone wrong. his found skating family being so hyped and proud of him. AND HOO. FUCKING, BOY, ANOTHER ONE OF THE BESTS PART OF ELEVEN WAS ADAM EATING SHIT. WHAT HE FUCKING DESERVED. the mentality of the s goers and fans is kinda dumb with them not really caring about reki until this and literally bashing him still sorta at the start of the race. then immediately clowning adam, but adam like actually deserves the clowning hah. bitch. the best part of episode 11 was not only reki, but how they treated adam. he was GETTING what he deserved. seeing adam on the ground and fallen. people booing him and focusing on reki being cool as shit instead of adam winning. that was so fucking satisfying. taking the 'king' away from his throne after all the fuckery he's done, him being shunned. now that was beautiful. that was what i liked and adored. 11 once again, reki-centric, and adam getting some punishment for his actions. that was amazing. that was what i liked. i watched sk8 for reki and seeing that made me scream in delight.

episodes 10 and 11 were just, yeah. the focus on the main characters and adam getting what he deserved. the renga relationship moments were just. something about them both was just perfect and i hope i conveyed that right. episode 12 just . didn't make me feel all that much. at least compared to those 2. and that's pretty much completely because of adam. and because after 10 and 11, 12 really was just. kinda underwhelming i guess? the adam-centricness of it. the use of langa's love for reki and skateboarding for adam's sake really was just kinda. eh. THE ENDING AND ACTUAL MOMENTS THAT HIGHLIGHTED REKI AND LANGA WERE BEAUTIFUL AS ALWAYS but the adamness was just. yeah. it was. mm. all of my rant juice is like running out ive been typing this for like an hour so

TL;DR: the focus on and redemption of adam and not our mains was what made 12 so eh. the characters and their relationships is what makes sk8 so good and the sudden focus on adam was just. mm if you read all of that i hope that made sense and please feel to add on and respond!! i love seeing people's insight on things and i tend to forget about stuff when i rant!

[sleepingcrisis]

@thebibi

21. "I'm better when I'm with you."

Cw: implied/referenced child abuse

*****

"I don't get why you can't come to America with me," Adam grumbles as he helps Tadashi pack his things, not something he had to do, but he didn't like sitting and watching Tadashi work.

"I know your upset, but your father has made it clear that you are to go alone or with another servant—"

"Don't do that," Adam cuts Tadashi off. There is already a strain in their relationship. This fracture that occurred when Adam’s skateboard was burned as Tadashi watched. Despite things not being the same, it still wouldn't erase everything prior to that. They grew apart but that doesn't mean Adam doesn't—

"Do what?" Tadashi asks.

"Pretend you don't care. I could care less if you talk shit about my father, he is a jackass. Besides... we both know the real reason," Adam says softly.

"Well regardless of what you think the real reason is, Ainosuke, I wish not to make a habit of speaking ill of your father," Adam wishes Tadashi would react more then that. He wishes he could do something. Drag some sort of response from the other. His aunts voices' nag at the back of his mind. Control your temper.

"This still sucks."

"I'm sure it will be a valuable learning experience," Adam can hear the strain in Tadashi’s voice. Huh. That's something. Adam takes it and runs with it.

He turns to Tadashi and pushes him against the wall with ease. He is taller then Tadashi now, and stronger. Even if he wasn't Tadashi, unfortunately, knows better then to put up a fight.

"You had a tone, why?" Adam asks.

Tadashi opens his mouth. Adam assumes it is to disagree, but then he closes it and Adam sees something in his eyes. That defiance he had when he was still in highschool, that defiance that had been smacked out of him long before now.

"If you had been more careful with those delinquent friends of yours then they wouldn't be sending you away. Instead you had to get caught by the cops. You knew what you were doing," Tadashi isn't moving. He stays where he is, pinned against the wall, as his eyes meet Adam’s while he speaks. His voice is very matter-of-factly but Adam knows different. Knows that Tadashi is pissed. Good.

"Are you going to miss me?" Adam asks, he is grinning even as Tadashi’s expression doesn't change.

"More then you know. More then that pink haired brat or his green haired mutt. I need you to come back Ainosuke."

Adam doesn't like when Tadashi mentions Cherry or Joe. He doesn't like when Tadashi describes them as opposed to calling them by name because, while Cherry and Joe don't know Tadashi, Tadashi knows them better then Adam does.

"And I'm going to," Adam mutters as he pulls away and goes to sit on the bed. Suddenly somewhat upset all over again at the knowledge of having to leave everyone behind. Yes by 'everyone' he only means three people, but they have been his world up until now, and now? He already cut ties with two of them. Maybe one day they will forgive him.

"Tadashi?"

"Yes, Ainosuke?" He is packing again already.

"Are you going to quit working for my family one day?"

"I have no plans of that," Tadashi says and looks over to him, prompting him to countinue.

"Good," Adam breaths. "I don't think Cherry or Joe will forgive me, but I need you around. I'm better when I'm with you. At least I— I like to think I am. Do you think I'm a good person?"

Tadashi thinks about the question. Careful not to show any hint of surprise on his face. He thinks about the way he cut out his other friends. He thinks about having to pay off other skaters after Ainosuke led them off a cliff. Behind all of that. He thinks about his smile. That smile he has when they were kids, the need to explore and do the impossible. The smile that disappeared thanks to his father and especially those bitches he calls aunts. If it were up to Tadashi they would both leave. He would quit and take Ainosuke away from all of this so that Ainosuke can be the gentle and truly good person Tadashi knows he is. Of course that is a fantasy the reality of it is—

"There are no good and bad people Ainosuke. Just people. People who do good things and bad things. People who try every day to get through the day. Regardless of what kind of person you choose to be, I'll always be around."

"Why?"

Tadashi glances over to his master and there is this look in his eyes that has Tadashi wanting to say everything. Say exactly how he feels, but that would make the distance harder. He can't make the distance any harder then what it already will be.

"Because you are my master Ainosuke," he says because saying 'I love you' is too difficult.

*****

<send me asks!>

[jiminrings]

hi hannah! i may have a request 🥺 i've been watching too much tiktok and this two made me want some jungkook skater au 😳 like the reader saw him and went like love at first sight so she purposely buys a skate and goes everyday to the skatepark and start learning just to impress that hot tattooed skater that kinda looks like a bad boy but he's actually a softie. ♡

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSm5Huop/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSm55usm/

late skate

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 7k

glimpse: jungkook would rather wash down his grip tape than spend another hour seeing you land on yOUR ass, a smitten y/n and love at first sight, and tae almost losing his bearings (in all aspects) <3 // gif is from pinterest :D

note: thank you so much for the request babie!!! also i’m sorry since i’ve done this a month late hee-hee bUT but it’s here now!!! fun fact: i used to skate but one time i fell on my ass so hard doing an ollie that i quit ( ˙-˙ )

there is nothing

there is absolutely nothing you hate more than walking home alone and at-

wait u need to shudder

night

times like these make you both angry and scared because fIRST of all

you’re angry because if oNLY (you’re still hoping that u win the lottery soon) you were born to wealth and ease (if you see park jimin one more time in a billboard you’re about to lose it), you wouldn’t have to worry!! or even work for that matter!!!!

you could have a car by now!!!

but you don’t have a car and you’re still saving up for that because you have to keep up with your bills and this nice and decent apartment that you’re living in right now

well if you’re being honest, you are splitting it with yoongi and that cuts back your expenses significantly but that’s besides the point

which is why you’re being extra thrifty!! save up all the money that you could so you could by yourself a car amongst other financial decisions and nOT be scared shitless when walking home

you’re working at the animal shelter most of the time and it’s very fulfilling because of cOURSE!! your job is to care for animals and give them a better chance at everything :D

the pay is more than decent but it’s not the highest sO what you do on your spare time is pick up any job you could!!

and the income that you need is more and more than decent because taking care of chimmy is not an easy feat

chimmy, your alaskan malamute!!! he’s the first puppy you’ve properly taken care of in the shelter and you’ve fallen head over heels for him

he kept bumping into the wall when he scrambles after you call for him but eH you love the clumsy giant still!!

so much so that you file your adoption form for him and run over to mr. kim’s office hurriedly :D

your boss seokjin’s pretty sweet after all but at the same time he’s intimidating!! too sweet and intimidating at the same time that when he approves your form without much question, you almost kiss his cheek

...

.... hehe

jin beat you to it and instead he gave you a side-hug with a very strict warning to take care of chimmy and provide everything that he needs

he eats 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓂𝒾𝓊𝓂 dog food and you could only assume the amount that he needs because of how he towers

the treats?? one time yoongi got overly-excited to take a picture of him and accidentally left the bag on the ground, and when he came back?? chimmy’s managed to inhale all of them

thankfully he’s only loyal to one (1) toy and it’s to this brown angry... entity..? with one tooth that yoongi’s made by himself

but he constantly has to replace the stuffing because chimmy nOTICES when it’s flat and unstuffed from his own doings

hehehe the grooming.....

you thank your lucky stars that jin gives you a discount to have chimmy groomed!! 

one time you were about to have a breakdown because a $100 grooming session simply didn’t click well with your ongoing budget and you decided to do it yourself :D

spoiler alert: chimmy kept barking at you when you held up the mirror to his face because wOOF did you just... d-did you give him bangs.... how was that possible....

and then sECOND of all is that well.,.,.,

you’re scared and that’s it

there is every possible reason for you to be scared :D

you get off from work at 5!! but now it’s quarter to 8 and you totally should’ve booked an uber but it completely slipped your mind

normally, you wouldn’t walk home alone though because chimmy comes with you to the shelter, and then he serves as a therapy dog of sorts to help ease and calm down the new rescues!!

he even has his own little ID oh my god :’)

but he doesn’t come in everyday and well you remember,.,.

no actually, yoongi REMINDS you that today is his day-off at work and explictly implied that he’d very much love to cuddle with a giant alaskan malamute as he gets his well-deserved rest

and yoongs has been the reason to why you don’t unravel every single day and you owe him for your life so yea okay you can have chimmy whenever you need this giant pillow of support <3

but no

no 

you don’t have chimmy with you and you don’t have anyone to bark and be willing to growl n intimidate any creepy dudes you could possibly encounter on this twenty-minute walk home

the extra coffee you’ve drank at 6 in lieu of dinner does not help at ALL

what if you just... run

that way you get home faster and you won’t have to be that antsy!!!

ok maybe just a light jog would do

you wanna go home so badly and take a shower and be sandwiched between your warm sheets and sleep all the way

you miss chimmy and yoongi and you just hOPE that he’d already cooked dinner and you won’t have processed food again for the third time in a week

and after dinner maybE you could treat yourself to online shopping because yoongs has also been pestering you to let yourself indulge once in a while

your thoughts are jumbled once panicked and it reminds you that yes you should definitely get a car and you know what??? you probably should-

wait fUCK

...

....

oh

wait

hold on a second

did you just manage to narrowly dodge what seems to be a skateboard in mid-air??????

“taehyung, you dumbass!!”

said taehyung is jumping down and crouching to pick up the deck at your feet and squeaks an “oop sorry ‘bout that!!” before going back and

well...

mr. “taehyung, you dumbass!!” is who you presume to be the speaker,, because well no one eLSE is in this skatepark at 9 in the evening,,,, is standing RIGHT underneath the light and is right at your line of sight

it’s as if the clouds are opening up and chimmy’s barking could be heard and everything you deem perfect is ringing right in your ears because god.... holy shit.....

he looks and probably feels like a warm-sized bed that smells of baby powder and fresh linen

he has a hoodie on with the sleeves scrunched up and you tHANK yourself that you’ve saved up enough to get lasik eye surgery because those tattoos...,.,. you r positive that they would be your demise

mr. TYD has a loose bucket hat on yet you could still see his features clearly and you aren’t lying when you say he is perhaps the most breathtaking thing you’d ever seen

even more breathtaking than seeing chimmy in the laundry room and having fished for your one good perfect bra in his mouth

oh

huh

you’re pretty sure this is what love at first sight must feel like

suddenly, you aren’t anxious at all and you’re instantly gravitating towards the ramp without much complaint

there’s a bench conveniently placed in which you could see him but he won’t see you

you find yourself sticking around and smiling when you see him goofing around in all good fun

hopefully you don’t look like a cREEP because you swear you aren’t!!!! and hopefully they don’t notice you either and find out then and there that you’re here in a skatepark withOut a skateboard,,, just sitting,,, to see him

this may not be your best idea yet lmao yes you’re gonna admit that

but it’s probably the first and last time that you’re ever gonna see him so might as well watch him for awhile!! that’s all!!!!

ok wait

this is definitely a bad idea because yoongi calls you and you forgOt to put it on silent and it’s his voice that greets you very rudely as soon as you pick up

“y/n where the FUCK are you???”

oh lmao it’s quarter to 10 already

“jeez, i’m coming home!! calm down!!”

“yeah tell that to chimmy who’s been worried sick with me and won’t stop hOWLING!!!”

you’re scrambling to gather your duffel and sneak oNE last look at him and ur practically pouting as you say goodbye to him under your breath 

:((

“... aw, you worry about me?”

you resume back to jogging on your way home and this time for rEAL

you’re gonna miss him

he’s like one of the random dudes you see in the mall that are sO breathtaking and you know you’re never gonna see them again

you didn’t even manage to catch his name :((

but whoever he is, he feels a little more different than a dude in a mall because this time, you feel like you’re gonna cRY at the thought of it

little did you know that jungkook could see you all this time and he’s sad to see you go 

:D

chimmy is the first to leap at you as soon as you come through the door

and if you didn’t anticipate the giant, then you’d probably be toppled over by now

yoongi finds it weird that there’s this lingering gentle smile on your face

well he shouldn’t be so shOcked because he sees you talking to yourself when you’re watching documentaries and cooking

(( he always checks if there’s a camera hidden somewhere in the kitchen and you were vlogging or something but nO!!! ))

it’s like you’re a third-grader again that goes fERAL at just the thought of their crush

you hope mr. tyd has already eaten breakfast and hasn’t had any injuries with his skateboarding

you’re trying to rationalize with yourself that it’s just a stOOpid and pathetic crush to harbor in less than a day and stop thinking about him

the universe must seem to hate aND love you at the same time because well would you look at tHAT

it’s 5 in the afternoon and you have chimmy beside you and you’re walking home

and that’s practically your routine ever since you’ve gotten this job

it would only differ if a situation like last night happens or when you’re too tired to walk home oR when it’s raining

but right now it’s your normal workday, and you’re walking home, and it’s sunny, aND THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU’VE SEEN HIM

this is also the first time that you’ve seen him in such a situation that you didn’t expect :O

the fact that you’ve mayhaps watched kimi no nawa last night with yoongi and perhaps 98 times before that, does not help at all

“you uh, y-you wanna go for a run on the grass, chim??”

there’s this mini field besides the skatepark and chimmy happily jUMPS at the mention of grass :D

aha oh well :D would you look at that :D your dog wants to go run on the grass that’s a couple feet away from the skatepark :D who are you to stop him anyways?? :D

chimmy’s more than happy to comply with your wish and vice versa because he’s having the time of his life clearly

he’s your pawman and the perfect variable so you wouldn’t seem like a third-grader with a helpless crush on anOther third-grader

it seems that hE’S more excited than you though because chimmy runs to the ramp instead of the grass!!!

and in the process he goes UP to greet a guy like he does with you whenever you come home!!! it’s harmless pouncing per se

but it’s not entirely harmless because it feels like chimmy knows EXACTLY what’s in your mind and what he’s doing

“chimmy!!!”

.....

...... of course

chimmy has to of cOurse pounce on him

jungkook wasn’t surely expecting a giant and overly-friendly alaskan malamute to pounce on him right when he was about to drop-in

it’s a pleasant surprise either because it’s-

wait

oh my god

is this yOU?????

listen.,.

jungkook was in the skatepark last night with taehyung and they took advantage of it because they were the only ones there!!

tae surely wasn’t kidding when he said that he was a novice because holy sHIT how was it possible that he sent a skateboard flying mid-air after a failed trick??

kook flinches when he follows it in his line of sight and notices that there’s someone down there who might be literally dECKED out of tae’s stupidity

he’s about to yell for this passer-by to dodge and-

time seems to move quicker because you’re already stopping yourself and flinching in place and then looking up

you’re rIGHT underneath this street lamp and jungkook sighs a breath of relief when he realized that you weren’t hit

but at the same time he’s gasping again because wow

t-that’s uhm-

okay

wHEW he has never felt this pressure in his chest ever since he joined a quizbee in 8th grade

would it be-

ok nevermind

WOULD IT BE TOO FORWARD FOR HIM TO SAY THAT HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU ALREADY

you’re really beautiful??? and frankly he has to look away for a second because you’re tOO beautiful that he doesn’t know what to do with himself

that’s it u are under arrest for being too pretty >:(

jungkook’s flustered because there’s just these types of people that put a knot on his chest unknowingly and he doesn’t know how to act normally

you are the equivalent of him not being able to look at the screen because the kdrama was that good and he feels unworthy to even watch it

it’s goosebumps all over his skin and he’d be lying when he says his cheeks are not heating up at aLL

“taehyung, you dumbass!!”

his first instinct is to scold taehyung because what iF he ended up hurting you with his skateboard, hmm?? and tHEN what

he expected you to leave after that close-call and if everyone must know, jungkook has an incredible talent at being able to scope out things in his peripheral vision

he could look straight ahead and be able to see what you were also doing at the side

he doesn’t know if that’s a talent or uH everyone has it but whatever he can do that!!!

and you were clearly still there and in fact, even sIT down on the bench

he could see you smiling and giggling and a ginormous part of him assumes that it’s because of him

he prays to god that it’s NOT the guy who almost decked you with a skateboard ://

jungkook was acting weird and he kept smiling and laughing mORE than necessary and taehyung can see right through him

“bro all i did was walk towards you wtf are you laughing,,.,”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHHA tae you’re so silly XD”

alrighty then,, maybe jungkook just binge-ate his vitamin gummies which is why he keeps beaming for an unknown reason

koo was so grumpy literally just before he had his skateboard flying and now he’s ???? weird

jungkook was ultimately sad to see you get up and he knows he’s probably never gonna see you again ok alright time to mope

but this

this

he’s beyond surprised to see that said owner of giant dog happens to be yOU!! of all the people!!!!

it’s you!

“i’m so so sorry about him!! he’s just excited to make friends with everyone and i don’t have the sLIGHTEST clue why he came to you!!”

you pointedly look at chimmy and he has the audacity to howl before looking away

it hasn’t dawned on you that you’re talking and apologizing to him but it certainly did on jungkook which is why he’s charmingly laughing already

“no, no. it’s okay, i don’t mind!! his name’s chimmy, then?”

you’re blinking profusely because yes.. right.. HE is talking to you

“yeah, uh, correct!! his name’s chimmy :)”

“that’s cute. anyways, i’m jungkook :)”

aha :D

koo would like to think that he is smooth

and yes you agree

you immediately shake his hand tOO eagerly with a smile on your face as you’re trying to take this all in

“i’m y/n :)”

jungkook’s hand is bigger than yours and your hand fits sNUGLY right into his hold

he has some tattoos on his hands and there’s some peaking from underneath his hoodie

but even with ur lasik vision you cAN’T focus because omg are you seriously holding jungkook’s hand.,.,

jungkook as in THEE jungkook that you’ve immediately clocked and crushed on last night in an instant

your lil moment of just holding each other’s hands is interrupted when taehyung pops out of nOwhere

(( actually he’s been there for the past two minutes and he kept switching between cooing and laughing ))

“yO i’m taehyung!!! you must be y/n, i didn’t nick you last night, did i?”

he takes it upon himself to hug you right then and there

well he’s warm and he passes the internal vibe check yoongi’s hotwired into your brain so you reciprocate!! you like hugs anyway and taehyung’s just like chimmy but in human form

jungkook practically squawks and stammers in his place because w-why.. w-what...... no

chimmy bARKS at taehyung and koo is tempted to do the same too because no man you simply do nOt hug my crush that you know absolutely nothing about

“he’s asking for you.”

kook points to chimmy who’s obviously pouncing on you to come run with him

you excuse yourself so you could go satisfy the giant and jungkook felt like his heart was gonna fall out of his aSS

tae wiggles his eyebrows and has his lips pursed and it’s the shit-eating grin that he immediately flips off as soon as he sees it

“what was that all about?”

you are convinced

you are 100% convinced

your head is fully-set into the game and in no way are you gonna back out

“min yoongi!!”

ah there it is

yoongi’s having the time of his life playing fetch with chimmy! what could possibly be any more important in this world than that

“what did i do now?”

you only call out his full name when a) you’re agitated and when b) he’s ignoring you and you’ve had enough of it

he really doesn’t recall giving you the cold shoulder recently

and he certainly didn’t agitated you when all he’s done is play with chimmy and sleep!!!

“please click this for me pls. click. please. pls click.”

aH yoongi should’ve brought his glasses instead of leaving them on the couch

you’re holding out your laptop to him with your arms outstretched and he has to come really close to decipher and-

... huh

“a skateboard?”

pardon him but he’s really lost on this one ok

he is as lost as he was when walmart decided to completely rearrange the whole store

“... and what do you need a skateboard for? y/n when i said that you should get yourself a four-wheeler, i didn’t mean a skateboard-”

in what part does a skateboard look like an SUV

whY are you like this

“it’s for uh... it’s for fun purposes!!”

you’re trying not to raise any more questions in yoongi’s mind but his head is miles miles away now lol

???? you hate trying new things though ???

one time you traded in your beef ramen for pork ramen because the first one was out of stock and throughout the whole meal you kept thinking how much you regretted it

and besides, skateboarding would be the last thing you’d get into!!!

yoongi distinctly remembers that you’d rather choke on chewing gum rather than get your knees scraped

why was that?? because when your knees get scraped, walking and doing everything else?? impossible 

nice try sherlock but the moment you do so much as to not stand up straight?? sIT down?? yeah your knees would give out 

what has got to be something so special that you’d wanna get into skateboarding and risk yourself into getting your knees scraped??

....

....

omg is that what he thinks it is

“... it’s a crush, isn’t it?”

the way you instantly shut him down and practically have to beg him just to press the check out button.,..

aha 

yeah yoongi’s gotten his answer alright :D

whatever this is

or whatever that’s going on

you’re sure that you’ve never felt this content for a long time

you now bring a change of clothes so you wouldn’t go skating in your uniform because that just honestly sucks

you may be too tired to walk to the skatepark which is why sometimes you’d book a ride, but no you’re never tOO tired to skate and see jungkook :D

it’s frustrating enough as it is

yoongi used to skate and that’s the reason why you’ve found this shortcut in the first place because this was where the park was!! you’d always think at the back of your head on wHY was yoongi struggling!!!

smh that’s so easy yoongs </3

joke’s on you now though because trying to balance on the board in the first place scared you shitless because hOW were you supposed to do this??

you can ride a bike and that has tWO wheels and this has fOUR bearings!!! how come you can’t balance yourself??

even managing to stand up on the board without panicking for more than ten seconds AND managing to shift from left to right even if it’s albeit shaky at first, took you a wHOLE evening

but you’re so proud of yourself and so is jungkook :D

jungkook finds it the highlight of his night when you’d hold onto him

yes he knOws you have it under control now and you barely hold onto him for support

“just so you won’t fall, that’s all.”

he always evades your eyes when you go look up at him dreamily like that because how could he not???

you’ve covered the basics of pushing yourself then simultaneously riding the skateboard!!

you do that for one WHOLE week and both jungkook and tae (and yoongi) think it’s time that you do something else besides skate in one straight line and occasionally to a left and a right

ok you’re kind of scared shitless because you already fell a couple of times but y’know what?? it’s time!!

society has progressed past the need of you skating in a straight path

the society NEEDS you to do tricks now

.....

........

confession time:

dear diary the kickflip is simply not kicking the board in an attempt to flip it by itself. it is not. it is not as easy as it sounds. it is the bane of my existence

it’s evident that you’re stalling out of your way with this one but you just need oNE success and that’s it!!! one win to woo jungkook from his feet and then you’d stop

tae has already shut you up too because you keep talking about how your day went when you already is set four times before that

and it must’ve been a lucky first time because you absolutely nAIL it on the first try!!!

you honestly thought you’d land square on your ass and see bruises on it later in the shower but N-O!! you’ve done it perfectly and-

jungkook’s not looking

he didn’t see your feat!!

or maybe he didn’t see it because he chosE not to!!!

OR

maybe doing a kickflip is nothing impressive and it’s obvious that he’s a pro at this compared to you who’s even more of a novice that makes taehyung look like a god

you can’t have that :((

ok ok hOW can you impress jungkook

there must be something you could do to impress him!!

omg

that’s it

this is practically perfect!!

you’re gonna do your first drop-in at a pipe that is nowhere gOOD for a beginner like you :D

one, two, th-

“easy, doll.”

jungkook materializes out of nowhere and you expected him to be skating at the far end!! not mere inches away from your face holding your hANDS

this is the first time you’ve seen jungkook actually this close and you just have this urge to kiss his cheek

he has you whipped for him and he hasn’t even done anything to you!!!

“not the best idea to go down an eight-foot tall half-pipe for your first time, hm?”

he scrunches his nose at your absurd thoughts because absolutely wHY would you do that??

how could you fall in love with him even mORE

“do the two-feet tall one first. go have taehyung teach you.”

the grin in your face goes as fast as it came

no offense to taehyung but he’s not the one your head-over-heels for :((

practically everyone knows about your crush on jungkook BESIDES jungkook himself

you’re tapping tae on the shoulder to come and teach you while you just watch kook shred it at the other side of the park by himself

it’s okay!! progress is progress and you’re gonna get far with jungkook!!

going to the skatepark right after work is now your new routine

sometimes you even come with yoongi when he’s free and he takes all his time to gloat on how you used to make fun of him when he was skating avidly back then

that gives you a grand total of three (3) people teaching you how to skate and giving you pointers

jungkook also now holds conversation from time to time :D

he’d ask you how your day went and you’d have to pretend that you didn’t wait for him to ask so you’re not spilling detail after detail

he now does this thing of pinching your cHEEK when you get something right 

your heart after doing an ollie goes bEEP when he pinches your cheek and tells you eagerly that you did such a good job

yoongi’s laid off his teasing for you and jungkook but god he can’t deny that he gets these weird vibes from him

eh it’s probably nothing

today you’re especially excited because it was an outfit that you just bought and you feel gREAT in it!!!

tbh your day was the absolute worst but jungkook is always a great pick-me-up to whatever day you could have :)

a tennis skirt with shorts already built underneath is the greatest save of ur life

it’s a little on the more expensive side because it IS a name-brand and those don’t come cheap but it’s ok :D it’s gonna be worth it :D it better be :D

oh uhm

jungkook seems different today.... ?

you were used to him looking intimidating and mad even if he wasn’t, but this time it just felt emphasized even more

taehyung’s here but he’s not the only one!!! there’s two guys with jungkook on the other side of the ramp

“those are his friends, i guess?? i don’t know, he hasn’t introduced them to me.”

so you’re nOT the only one who’s lost

jungkook will probably come around later and you could all hang out again :))

chimmy happily chuffs at your side and that just gives taehyung the most wonderful idea he’s ever had this day

“hEY which one of us do you think could out-skate chimmy???”

jungkook is utterly and without a doubt stressed 

he knew that hoseok and namjoon would come over, but he didn’t expect that they’d visit him while he was in the park!!!!

and he already knows what they’re here for and that just makes him grimace :((

“why don’t you want to go pro?”

koo’s ears feel like bleeding when hobi asks him that for the nth time

god it’s always just the sAME question!! he could practically sniff the air on what they’re gonna say next

“jungkook, i think we all know that you’re more than qualified to be a pro!! look at you!!”

it’s the same conversation over and over again

the next things they’d say are that he’s a natural and he’s wasting all his talent doing this thing cASUALLY

he’s not the next tony hawk or anything like that!!! he’s not gonna book a sponsorship and a collaboration with vans!!! but hobi and joon kEEP insisting that he’s that good

“hyung, i think we’ve already talked about this-...”

“yes and you refusE to listen!! why can’t you just accept the fact that you have a much better future in this??”

jungkook’s currently a freelance graphic designer which means he works from home and he’s in charge of his oWN schedule

but it doesn’t necessarily mean that every single day he gets a new commission or anything grand like that

he’s gonna be honest and say that yES he has thought of being a pro skater!! but he’s trying to be as rational as possible about it

because not every competition would be a win and not competitions don’t happen as frequent as a typical job is!!

and what iF jungkook gets injured?? something of an injury that would lay him off from skating 

and being unable to skate??? = he basically gets nOTHING

he feels pressures because hobi and joon are pro skaters already!! and that gives them all the more reason to make jungkook into one

not to flex but uh they’re both quite already kNOWN

and jungkook hasn’t even started his pro career but he’s already known!!! both by his skills and the fact that he’s friends with these two champions

“i literally do not care if you beat me!! just come take the leap and be a pRO already, jungkook!!! it’s a loss as it is that you still consider yourself an amateur.”

their words, not his 

ok uhm what if

what if jungkook opens a skate clinic?? he can do what he loves and in the same time, earn money!!

... yeah

okay! 

that could work!! and if he feels extra prepared, then yeah maybe he’d be a pro

or would a skate clinic be useless if he isn’t a pro by then???

oh my god

jungkook’s so frustrated with all this sudden bombarding and it makes him want to tug at his hair

as much as he loves his hyungs, sometimes they just can’t seem to know when to back oFF and realize that their nudging is more like shoving

“do something productive and worth your time, jungkook. stop babysitting.”

namjoon says with an edge and that tames jungkook

what makes it worse was what they were implying in the first place

hoseok doesn’t make it discreet to look at taehyung and you

“tae, tae, look!! i’m doing it, i’m doing it!!”

you’re saying over your shoulder because omg you’re getting the lead and chimmy’s slowed down for some reason

well actually taehyung’s took it upon himself to stop behind you

“guys?”

you get an immediate answer when you feel someone effectively hALT you still and you almost fall on your ass just by the sheer strength of someone holding you up

jungkook’s holding you down and his hands are quite heAVy on your arms

there’s this unexplainable look on his face but you’re positive that it’s not one of happiness

“you should probably stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing.”

oh

to be honest you’re unsure of how to react

but the way that jungkook looks like he’s mad at you and retreats back to those two guys with a scoff in his step -- 

it’s enough

it’s truly enough for you to reevaluate every decision you’ve ever made

maybe it’s simply not just a bad day for you and a case of overthinking thigs,, and it’s perhaps the fact that he want you to stop

stop whatever that is happening

you probably must be frozen in place because chimmy bounds and pounces at you

you probably must’ve looked like an utter fool,, skating in a tennis skirt and trying to outrace a damn dog in a fucking skatepark,, right in front of jungkook and his friends

“y/n, you uh, y’okay?”

tae’s worried because there’s an instant shift to your mood and he could only assume what you were feeling

tears prick at the back of your eyes and that’s the signal for you to gather your things in a flash because the last thing you’d want is to cRY in front of him

“y-yeah! i’m gonna go home, tae. chimmy’s looking for yoongi.”

the dog in question tilts his head because w hat now,,,.,., wha t,.,. he is???

you learned that dogs could smell emotions and that makes you even sadder

chimmy was behaved the whole time; didn’t even try straying you around when he keeps seeing umbrellas on the street even if he loves them

you’re okay

:)

you should be okay

....

there’s something definitely off

yoongi’s cleaned everything and did his share of chores

the tv is still mounted and the microwave’s clean!!

chimmy didn’t have a toilet accident because if he did, he would’ve already picked it up

there’s definitely something off with yOU

because first of all, why are you here???

“not coming to the park?”

if he can recall correctly, no matter how knackered you were after work, you’d still go to the skatepark!!

... not unless you were injured??

nah because if you were injured then you’d be whining to him now

“nope :)”

you’re lying on the couch where he usually lies nowadays because you weren’t around!!

and you’re drinking from your mug that he’s claimed as his mug

and chimmy’s squished in between the tiny gap of you and the far edge of the couch

“and why?”

he’s always had answers for everything but his mind’s bLANK for this

“wanna spend time with you guys :)”

oh

okay

that’s gotta be the answer, right???

this is definitely weird

for starters, it’s already 11 PM and jungkook’s still in the skatepark and he’s not even skating anymore

he’s just waiting

weird... you aren’t here.......

aH it’s nothing :D you’re probably just tired and didn’t want to go skate

oh and.. you’re not here the next day

or the next

or the nEXT

jungkook spends almost the entirety of his time in the park

he goes there at 3 in the afternoon and comes home at 11 in the evening

no big deal

half of the time is just spent him actually skating and the other is figuring out wHERE you are

uh maybe you’ve started to take ubers now every time you come home??

you’re not walking home anymore and the car would pass by the skatepark and jungkook wouldn’t have a single clue where you are

it’s also this time that it dawns on him that he has no means whatsoever to contact you

he didn’t ask for your number and didn’t exchange socials so he could only gUESS

he can’t come over to your apartment either because he hasn’t walked you home and therefore he wouldn’t know your address

holy shit he’s so dumb and jungkook misses you a lot

like a whole whole lot

he misses you holding onto his shoulders for support and misses your excited grin whenever you nail a trick and had a perfect run

there’s nothing that jungkook could dO besides wait

and miss you so much

and mope

kook doesn’t want to give up and miss a day because what iF you pass by when he’s not there???

he can’t have that and he wON’t have that

he’s just so antsy and he hasn’t had his fix of chimmy bounding towards him and the malamute intentionally pouncing on him whenever he’d drop-in so he could lose his balance

he just needs to see you and your duffel bag and the precious yet beat-up wristwatch you have and-

WAIT

THAT’S YOU!!!

jungkook’s brought his perfume the past few days because he wouldn’t want to be aND smell sweaty when he sees you again

he’s wearing a shirt this time and nOT a hoodie and it’s actually a nice shirt!! the pale orange makes his tattoos pop

he’s also wearing a watch so he could look business-ish and composed and he kinda hATES watches because uhhhh you ever heard of a phone, buddy??

you’re walking striaght and paying no mind at all and to your surrounding and-

there’s suddenly this cRASH in front of you and it makes you recall in response because that came out of nowhere

... and this feels oddly familiar

only this time though, it’s intentional and it’s jungkook who literally tHREW his skateboard down on the spot in front of you

“y/n? wow, what a coincidence!”

you didn’t expect to see jungkook as soOn as you anticipated that he wouldn’t be here

he laughs nervously and he tries not to overanalyze the fact that your face is blank

:|

“yup. totally.”

you’re avoiding his gaze and meanwhile he’s searching desperately for yours 

what is he feeling and why is it hurt and longing at the same time

“can i walk you home?”

the words tumble out of his mouth before he could even ponder over them longer

“i uh, i rEALLY can’t believe i never asked to walk you home!! or even ask for your number!!! but uHhhh it’s late at night and to be honest i don’t have your number and i just need to know that you’re safe and-”

he stops his rambling right there because he realizes that he’s a stuttering nervous mess

you’re a bit speechless because normally you’re the chatty one but this one.,.,,. this one’s a pleasant surprise

“yeah, yeah. okay :)”

he can’t believe either that you agreed to it but he’s immediately gathering himself and swoops your duffel for him to hold

he’s not gonna entertain a single complaint <3

it’s not exactly the most tensioned silence ever but it’s definitely nOT comfortable

“why didn’t you come to the park?”

okay well sHIT you didn’t expect him to be this straightforward

wait no 

you shouldn’t be surprised!! after all, he probably did mean what he said the last time you’ve seen him

what are u gonna say now

well you coulD say that you’re busy and he’d probably fall for it!!

or reiterate the truth that he’s implied and say it with a straight face

“oh. i started intentionally falling on my ass because i missed you,” jungkook spills out of nowhere while waiting for your answer and he now realizes that might’ve been a little awkward

after all he dID admit that he missed you

ahem

“did i uhm... did i say something?”

he rephrases his question and he knows that this was the more appropriate one

your coping mechanism is to kick on the ground as if there were leaves and there are absolutely nO leaves <3

“jungkook, you told me to stop.”

he blinks rapidly at that as he tries to digest your words

he’s trying to backtrack as much as possible and it wasn’t that!!

he simply doesn’t wanna see you hurt

“i can’t explain it but holy shiT i can’t see you hurt!! a-and i know that being hurt in skating is normal but for sOME reason i can’t stand it when i see you in pain o-or-...”

jungkook just can’t explaiN what he feels

“i just -- i just don’t gEt why you’d want to be hurt?? whY are you doing this to yourself??”

you find him ridiculous and this whole situation is just rIDICULOUS

“jesus christ jungkook i did it to try and impress a guy!!”

that earns you a snort and you immediately go defensive

he seems irked and his eyes are just beGGING to be rolled

“who?? taehyung?? the guy who would’ve wiped you out if he did end up hitting you on the head with the deck just a little harder??”

“what? taehyung???” you’re so confused and jungkook hates it even more, “yeah, taehyung!!”

“i like you, jungkook!”

o-oh

uhm

a.....ha

“me?”

he points to himself to which you eagerly nod your head to

“can you excuse me for one second?”

he barely gives you the time to respond because he’s already walking away and biting his arm

he’s actually sCREAMING

you throw your head back because omg did the two of you just basically admit that you liked each other

jungkook jogs back to where you stand a presses a hefty kISS right on your cheek

he’s on too much of a high that he holds your hand and practically drags you along with him because he’s almost skIPPING from how happy he is

“okay. good. nice. very good!!!” he could now sigh in relief because whEW that robbed him off his breath

“because i fell for you when i first saw you.”

jungkook basically has nO filter now and it’s adorable because god he’s just so soft and you now know what’s going and this wouldn’t be just whatever

“huh. imagine if yOU fell for me too at the same time,,,, that would make me piss my pants.”

he cackles because wow he dO be funny :D

he’s turning to look at you to gauge at your reaction and the waY that you’re holding your eye contact with him is all-telling for your answer

oh my god

jungkook is wrapped around your pinky :’)

[yolkyeomie]

Ice Fairies | Hwang Hyunjin

summary — figure skaters are like ice fairies to you, and hyunjin is the prettiest fairy you’ve ever seen

word count — 2.7k words

pairing — hyunjin x gender neutral!reader

genre — figure skater!hyunjin, fluff, mc kinda pines after hyunjin but doesn’t rlly realize it

disclaimer — I actually know nothing about ice skating and ive been writing this since the moment I woke up so if it’s bad + inaccurate I’m so sorry

You had always enjoyed watching figure skaters be in their natural element, it was something about the way they skid across the ice that made you think that there was just something a little… inhuman about them.

If you were to describe what you believe they were, you say they were like fairies. The way figure skaters glittered in the reflection of the ice and the way they glided as if they had wings sprouting it from their back to fly was enough for you to think they were. But that was only from what you had seen on television. You had never seen a figure skater in person because it was wildly out of your own element to do so. And then a few months ago happened.

One day a stranger strolled into your town. It wasn’t an unlikely sight, your town was a frequent resting place for travelers. But the thing about the stranger is that when they strolled into town they didn’t feel like a stranger. In fact, they felt like they belonged. That’s something I’ve been missing in your town and the stranger had suddenly filled up the gaping hole you didn’t know needed to be filled. You thought you were just being delusional, there is no way such a strange person could make you feel this way? A person you’ve never seen in your life?

But then on a very chilly, very quiet winter day you decided to take a walk to your job. You don’t know what inclined you to do so, the weather was close to being unbearable and the ice and snow were thick on the ground from the snow storm before. But you did anyways as if you were challenging mother nature to try and stop you.

When you walk to your unbearable nine to five, there is a big lake that’s usually within your sights then. Because of the conditions beforehand it had turned into this icy winter wonderland, where the water was frozen solid and hard enough for people to walk across. It wasn’t unusual to see parents taking their bundle of children to go skating across it for fun family bonding, or see teenagers push each other towards the slick frozen over waters, so you paid no mind to it at first. But on your walk you saw something... different.

There was the stranger rhythmically moving his feet left and right, his jet black ice skates kicking up little chips and the frozen lake. He wasn’t wearing much to protect himself from the cold: just a throw on jacket and what looked to be sort of loose fitting pants. And don’t forget the low ponytail he wore his blonde hair in, the most recognizable of his lazy attire.

Why you thought he was going to freeze to death out on the lake at first.

Your brain had started functioning on its own, making decisions you weren’t fully comprehending when they happened. Before you know it, instead of being on your path to your boring nine to five, you were sliding down the side of the hill, careful not to let the snow trip you up, and calling out to him to make sure he was okay. When you had finally made it to the edge of the lake, your feet threatening to tip over and slide across its slick surface, he took notice of you. And then he jumped.

Looking back on it now, it was such a simple thing to do. But it left you in complete awe nonetheless.

Your eyes widened in pure disbelief as you watched him go from gliding with careful foot steps backwards to kicking one foot off the ground and forcefully raising the rest of his body into the air. For a moment you thought he was hovering in time, as if that one movement had stopped the flow of gravity just for him to levitate off the ice for a moment. And then in a slow motion-esqe manner you watched as he spun once in the air and then came back down landing perfectly on the same foot he started with.

A single axel, you recognized. One of the first things a figure skater learns when indulging in the sport. It looks so simple when you look at it from an outside eye but somehow it was enough to plunge you down into a world of wonder that you don’t even know you wanted to be in.

From that interaction, that's how you came to know wild and eccentric, Hwang Hyunjin. The new rising star and fan favorite within the figure skating world, and the owner of several gold medals that newbies don’t usually own. You knew that because he wouldn’t stop telling you once he got the chance. As clueless yet endearing his personality and perfectionist tendencies were, you two hit it off almost immediately. You don’t know whether it was because you like the fact that he was a figure skater, something you used to have a huge interest, or you liked him as a person but either way you two had gotten close enough for him to invite you to things outside of your little town.

One of those things, however, you did not expect to be attending one of the biggest figure skating competitions of his life.

Come with me, he said, it’ll be fun! I can show you how professional I get and how easy it is for me to win.

How it convinced you to join him on a cross-country trip is completely out of your mind. However it’s too late to go back on your words as now you were here at his competition standing on the sidelines with full moon like wide eyes looking back-and-forth between everyone who is currently in the room.

There were several other figure skaters here all warming up on the sidelines and getting ready for their performances to impress the judges. Every single one of them within the room were hoping to attend the Grand Prix of figure skating, and this competition was the last thing standing in their way to being able to compete. Despite this important detail though all of the competitors were looking around anxiously, the skin on the back of their neck standing up as they stayed on edge. There was this sense of stress within all of the skaters as the presumed to be new figure skating champion was in the building.

They were scared that no matter how well they went throughout their performance, they would be no match for the long-haired blonde you knew.

“Y/N!” A chirpy voice called out to you, like sunrays wrapped within their tone. You whirled your head around towards them, finally clicking back into the reality that you were here to support and not to gawk.

A boy not that much older than you came skipping up to you, his freckles stretching across his face like strained stars in a telescope’s eye. Lee Felix was a friend of Hyunjin, working and training under the same coach for their competitions. You had only recently met with him just a few days ago when you and Hyunjin had arrived in the city for his competition, but he already proved himself to be such a friendly and honest person that it felt like you had known him for years.

“Felix,” you grin, pushing yourself away from the railing of the ice rink to meet him halfway. Unlike many of the other figure skaters within the room, dressed in sparkly and eye-catching outfits for their performances, he was just as bundled up with warm clothing as you are. It seemed as though he was going to be watching the skaters instead of joining them on the ice for the day. “What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be with your coach and Hyunjin?”

“Usually,” the boy shrugged, moving his hands within the pockets of his puffy jacket. “But I’m not the one competing today, am I? Why would I sit and listen to a lecture about doing my best and aiming for the top when it’s not even aimed at me? Plus it gets boring after awhile.”

You snort at the boy’s excuse, rolling your eyes and turning back towards the ice. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because moral support can take someone a long way?”

“Is it not enough moral support to be standing up and watching from the side lines instead of laying down in my nice, warm, cozy bed? I could be sitting right next to a heated fireplace right now but here I am standing in the cold with no blanket to wrap myself in.” Felix jeered, his eyes looking far off into a world you couldn’t see. But by the expressions on his face you could assume he was fantasizing about the warm bed he had mentioned.

“How can you be an ice skater if the only thing on your mind is a bed and warmth?” You teased.

“Hey! I can’t help the fact that being warm is the best feeling in the universe! Why do you think I like hugs so much? It’s basically just sharing body heat so you won’t be cold,” He argued, wrapping his arms around himself to mimic the gesture. “Let’s not forget the fact that some people also give out the best hugs I’ve ever felt as well.”

You had to conceal the obnoxious laugh that wanted to escape your mouth. Felix was such an endearing person, the way he acts and the way he talks were two completely different things from when he was on the ice. Or at least that’s what Hyunjin told you, but he was known for… overdramatizing things.

“Speak of the devil!” Felix exclaimed untangling his arms from around himself and pointing to the other end of the ice rink. “There’s the star of the day!”

The chitter chatter of the competitors and watchers suddenly began to lower, turning into a low mumble as everyone’s eyes were fixated on the ice skater who had just stepped on the ice to warm up with the feat of the skaters.

Figure skaters are like fairies, you remind yourself. They move across the ice as if they’re flying and they sparkle in the light with a certain ethereal and shimmer to them. You knew this, you’ve always known this about figure skaters. But there was a certain flare about Hyunjin that was simply unmatched by every other competitor in the room.

Maybe it didn’t help with the fact that Hyunjin was already conventionally attractive in your eyes, but seeing him skate across the ice in his costume for his performance was mesmerizing. The way the light bounced across the glittery blue fabric of his ruffled Victorian shirt, or the way the colors of white and blue hues would blend into a beautiful ombré when in combination with his pitch black pants and ice skates. Don’t even get started on how the way the azure blue ribbon tied up in his blond hair gave him just the right amount of purity to make him seem as though he were an angel in the flesh.

Mesmerizing, just mesmerizing.

“Hyunjin!” Felix called, waving his hands to catch the skater’s attention. The boy immediately turned the both of you, a soft smile appearing on his lips as he changed courses and began to glide towards the two of you. The bright lights of the ice rink made him shimmer like stars as he approached and the unorthodox beating of your heart was making it extremely hard to focus on one thing at a time right now. You had never seen him all dolled up and captivating while he was skating before. The best you had ever seen from him was a black skinny jeans and an overpriced on-brand hoodie.

“Felix,” He greeted, his soft smile still unchanging as he dressed his fellow skater. Hyunjin leaned up against the railing for support as his eyes then drifted towards you, adoration swirling within his irises. “Y/N. How do I look? Usually I’m not dressed too flashy but the coach thought this would be a nice change for this particular song.”

“You look nice,” you manage to choke out, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible with the burning hot reds of your ears and your clear flustered face. The figure skater pouted in response to your lackluster compliment, probably expecting a much grander praise from you seeing as this was your first time seeing him dressed in such a way. “What? I told the truth, you look nice.”

“Nothing else? Just nice?” He urged, trying to push another, higher quality compliment out of you. “What about… gorgeous? Ethereal? Bewitching? Exquisite—“

“Nice,” you repeat, absentmindedly running your hands through each strand of blond hair you could reach and gazing at the blue ribbon in his hair. “You look nice.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin nodded, melting into you as you rhythmically brushed your hands through his hair. “Alright, I’ll take that.”

“I did not come here to see you be gross with each other,” Felix chimed in, reminding the two of them that they weren’t alone at the lake in your little town, but in an ice rink filled with people whose eyes were always watching Hyunjin’s every move. The figure skater pushed himself off of the railing, putting a small distance between the two of you as a sheepish laugh escaped his mouth.

You attempted to laugh it off as well, punching Felix in the shoulder with a little too much strength to try and hide the embarrassment. How could you have forgotten that was literally right next to you? What if you slipped up and said something without realizing he was there? What if you acted without realizing everyone’s eyes were constantly on Hyunjin, and because he approached you, you as well?

Stupid Y/N. You’re so stupid, stupid, stupid—

“That’s my que,” Hyunjin gasped as a man spoke over the speakers, his words blasting into everyone’s ears to remind them that the competition would soon begin. You weren’t really paying attention to what was being said, though. Your eyes were too focused on the way the fabric of Hyunjin’s ombré blue and white shirt fit his physique perfectly and the way his hair was fell into perfect shape on his shoulders. “Wish me luck!”

“Get that first place bro,” Felix encouraged him, giving him a hard and strong high five. “Take us to the Grand Prix, I really wanna go to Tokyo this year.”

“That depends,” the figure skater said, turning towards with a shining grin plastered onto his face. “Y/N, do you wanna go to Tokyo?”

“You’re gonna put your whole rookie career on Y/N?” Felix gasped, his eyes widened in disbelief as he looked between the two of you. You don’t blame him for being so caught off guard by Hyunjin’s question, you were just as confused as Felix was.

Your bewildered expression and utter silence wasn’t being taken for an answer as Hyunjin intently looked at you, patiently waiting for you to respond despite the speakers overhead telling all skaters to clear off the ice. After taking a moment to compose yourself, you finally open your mouth to speak. “Hyunjin, you’ve been working towards the Grand Prix final for how long now? You shouldn’t be placing your entire career on—“

“Answer the question,” he interrupted. “Do you want to go to Tokyo with me?”

“Yes,” You finally answer him. “I would like to go to Tokyo with you.”

It was like your answer gave Hyunjin a sudden boost of motivation, his smile going from ear to ear and his eyes turning into little crescent moons as he began to shift to and fro on the ice. “Alright then,” He nodded, kicking himself backwards to go and join the rest of the skaters who were simply waiting for the boy to step off the ice. As he skated backwards, hands behind his back and his ice skates kicking up little chunks of ice, he kept eye contact with you and called out. “I’ll make sure I’ll take you to Tokyo, Y/N! And I’ll win the gold medal just for you!”

“Of course, you will!” You tell after him as he turned around. “You’re obligated to win me the gold medal because you brought me all the way here without telling me! Your gold medal is my gold medal!”

[albertasunrise]

Coffee and Crisis - Chapter 1

So this is my first Mentalist Fanfiction with Marcus Pike. I loved the Mentalist and only recently realised that it was our dear Pedro that played the perfect Pike. 

Summary: Marcus has been pretty unlucky in love. With a failed Marriage and engagement under his belt, will his luck finally change when he meets a pretty, young English girl in his favourite cafe?

Warning/Content: Angst, Blood and Injury, 

Paring: Marcus Pike/ Original Female Character

§

It was a chilly day in September. The trees were almost bare of their leaves. Branches waving in the city breeze, sounds of wood knocking together joined the cacophony of city sounds. Marcus scrubbed a hand over his face as he approached the cafe that had become a staple in his morning routine, always stopping for a coffee and a muffin without fail before heading into the office across the street. This morning was no different except for one tiny detail. Her. His eyes locked with her's almost as soon as he pushed open the door, the small bell above jingling as the wood knocked against it. She was stood in line, eyes staring off towards the door as she waited to be served. He was instantly struck by her, giving her a smile as he pushed the door closed behind him and stepped towards her. She had dirty blonde hair that that was wavy and thick, sitting a little below her shoulders and framing her oval face. Her eyes were a seductive shade of green, accentuated my neat black eyeliner that flicked out at the edges and a subtle brown eye shadow on her lids. Her clothes told him the most about her. She was wearing a Retro Print Star Wars t-shirt that was tucked into her pale Levi jeans that were folded up at the ankles and a black, wool-lined denim jacket. He was instantly drawn to her. She wasn’t like the other women he saw here on a daily basis, tight work dresses, perfect hair and makeup with ridiculous heels that they couldn’t walk in. Not this girl, in her white converses and geeky, acid-wash t-shirt. Her eyes watched him as he came to a standstill behind her, glances and smiles being all they shared for a few moments as Marcus plucked up the courage to speak to her.

‘I like your shirt.’ He said finally, motioning to it with his chin.

‘Thanks.’ she replied, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear as she gave him a warm smile.

‘I’ve not seen you here before.’ He stated, quickly glancing at the muffins to make his selection before returning his attention to her.

‘I’ve just moved here.’ She replied.

‘You’re English!’ It wasn’t a question.

‘Yeah.’ She giggled, trapping her lip between her teeth ‘Well I’m half English.’ She continued ‘Mum’s English, Dad's Canadian so basically, I’m cursed to be too nice and apologise for everything.’

He laughed at her reply, his smile reaching his eyes as they held each other's gaze for a while. It was only broken when the Barista asked for her order. Latte and a Lemon and Poppyseed Muffin. She knew exactly what coffee Marcus wanted, asking his muffin selection for the day before getting to work making their orders.

‘So are you a Star Wars fan or did you just like the shirt?’ He joked.

‘Oh no, I love it.’ She replied, laughing nervously ‘I’m a huge geek.’

‘I’ll let you in on a secret.’ He said quietly, leaning towards her slightly as she looked at him with anticipation ‘So am I.’

She laughed at that, covering her mouth in embarrassment at her sudden outburst. Her laugh was like music to Marcus’ ears, her smile addictive and he found himself wanting to see it more, hear it more. The sound of paper cups scraping against the stone countertop then pulled their attention away from each other.

‘That's Seven dollars.’ said the Barista.

‘It’s on me.’ said Marcus suddenly, handing her the money for both orders.

‘You didn’t have to do that.’ she replied as she looked at him with surprise.

‘Call it a welcoming gift.’ he stated, giving her a genuine smile before holding the door open for her.

They came to a stop outside, Marcus holding out his free hand ‘I’m Marcus.’ He said, smiling as she took it and gave it a shake.

‘Ada.’ she replied.

‘Nice to meet you, Ada.’ Smiling he glanced across the street towards his offices ‘I better get going,’ he continued.

‘Uh yeah, same.’ she replied, her smile dropping slightly at the thought of them parting ways ‘Best not be late on my first day.’

So they parted ways, giving each other a small wave before Marcus sprinted across the street and disappeared through the tinted black glass doors. From that day on, he saw her every morning. She would wait for him and they would queue together, taking it in turns to buy each other's coffee’s whilst they talked about movies, books and art. Marcus learned that she’d studied it at college back in the UK but had decided against pursuing a career in it. He learned that she was a personal assistant but that she worked remotely from her apartment around the corner. She had been engaged to a guy she’d met in college. They’d been together for almost 7 years when she was offered the job in the US and he’d told her that he didn’t want to move with her. So they had ended things, her moving a few weeks later.

‘So have you spoken to him since you arrived?’ he quizzed, sipping his coffee.

‘I spoke to him a few days ago.’ she replied, taking a bite out of her muffin ‘He’s been dating.’

‘Ouch.’

‘No, I’m happy for him.’ She replied, her tone surprisingly genuine ‘He’s never done the dating thing really. Just sort of fell into relationships… Hell, he was single 3 days before we got together.’

‘What about you?’

‘Me?’

‘Are you dating?’ He asked, his question making her choke on the coffee she’d just sipped.

‘No. Wouldn’t know where to start.’ She replied, taking another bite of her muffin and shifting in her seat.

They'd both agreed to meet in the cafe earlier that day, sit down and have breakfast for once.

‘I attract odd people.’ She continued, sipping her coffee.

‘Odd how?’

‘Well, I’m a girl… who’s a geek.’

‘Ahhh.’ He replied, understanding exactly what she meant.

‘You’re the first guy I’ve met that has been normal.’ she replied, her cheeks flushing a little ‘I don’t meet many people working from the office in my apartment either.’

‘I imagine not.’ he chuckled, giving her his signature smile that made her knees go weak.

‘Well, Marcus.’ She started, standing and throwing her coat over shoulders ‘This had been lovely but I need to get to work. Those meetings aren't going to arrange themselves.’

‘Yeah… Right.’ Replied the agent as he stood suddenly, his chair scraping loudly against the floor as he knocked it back.

‘I guess I’ll see you Monday.’ she replied, giving him a small smile.

‘Well unless you’re free tonight?’ he suggested, his brown eyes ever hopeful.

‘I’m free.’ she replied, pulling her bag over her shoulder ‘What were you thinking?’

‘Dinner?’ he shrugged, giving her a small smile ‘Take you on your first date in the US.’

‘I’d like that.’ She replied, her heart racing.

‘Great! I’ll pick you up at 7?’

‘Perfect.’

He was there at seven on the dot. Ada had spent much of the afternoon panicking about what to wear, knowing that it was a date but not wanting to overdo it. She’d fallen pretty hard for Marcus, the man invading her dreams and leaving her flushed when she woke up. She looked forward to their morning talks, missing them when he was away and over the weekends. When he’d asked her out, she’d almost passed out from the excitement but somehow managed to keep her cool. As soon as her day had ended she tried to figure out what to wear, realising that she had brought very little with her. She pulled a black lace skater dress her friend Liv had given her just before she’d moved. She wore it with some grey heels and minimal jewellery. She did smokey eye makeup and a subtle pink lip stain, her hair in a loose bun with a few loose waves hanging down to frame her face. When three soft knocks sounded on her door she felt her heart in her throat, hands shaking as she grabbed her bag and keys before opening her front door. She felt her nerves melt away when she saw him. He was wearing smart jeans with a Burgundy shirt tucked in and a smart leather jacket that fit him perfectly. He beamed at her as he checked her out, feeling his own heart flutter in his chest at the sight of her.

‘You look beautiful.’ He stated, watching her as she stepped out and locked her door behind her.

‘Don’t look bad yourself.’ She replied, winking at him as they made their way down to his car.

The restaurant wasn’t far from hers and after a fair amount of convincing on her part they ended up walking instead, arms linked as they talked about each other's days.

‘Here we are.’ he stated as Ada looked up at the sign and laughed.

‘A Canadian restaurant?’

‘You told me that you were half Canadian.’ He started, smiling sweetly at her ‘A colleague of mine told me about this place the other day at work and I knew I wanted to bring you here. Is this okay?’

‘This is perfect.’ She chuckled as he opened the door for her.

The inside reminded her of Christmas’ with her grandparents in Canada. The walls we clad with wood and decorated with hockey jerseys, pictures, sticks and pucks. It was the cheesiest place she’d seen in years and she loved it.

‘I feel a tad overdressed.’ She stated, looking around at the other people in there.

‘’You look perfect.’ He replied sweetly, grinning when she got all shy.

They ordered their food which, true to Canada, was oversized and terribly unhealthy. The conversation was easy, new subjects easy to find when old ones were exhausted.

‘So you know all about my dating history.’ she said suddenly ‘I bet someone like you has had women throwing themselves at you.’ She finished as she shovelled some waffle into her mouth.

‘Hah!’ He laughed as he took a swig of his beer ‘Well… I’m divorced.’ he started, smirking when Ada’s eyes went wide ‘We were young, foolish. She cheated on me with my first partner at the FBI.’

‘What a bitch.’

‘Yeah…’ he replied, shrugging as he took another sip of his drink ‘And then last year I met an incredible woman, Teresa and fell head over heels for her. We got engaged but later that day she told me that she was in love with someone else.’

‘Oh my god, Marcus I’m so sorry.’ Ada felt a pang of guilt at the man's story ‘I shouldn’t have asked… I’m sorry.’

‘Wow you really are Canadian aren’t you.’ He smirked, his eyes crinkling as he smiled.

‘Shut up.’ she laughed, swatting his arm before returning to her waffles.

As they walked home, their hands kept grazing each other’s until he trapped her hand with his. They took their time walking back, hands swinging as they enjoyed the sounds of the city together. When they finally came to a stop outside her building she spun on her heels to face him, biting her bottom lip as she gazed up into his eyes.

‘Can I confess something to you?’ She asked, her eyes drifting down to their hands ‘This is the first proper date I’ve ever been on.’

‘What?’ His head shot back in surprise ‘Really?’

‘I never did the dating thing. I kinda met people and we just ended up together.’ She replied, looking away in embarrassment.

‘So how was your first date then?’ He asked, pulling her a little closer.

‘It was pretty good.’ She replied, green eyes sparkling up at him.

‘Only pretty good?’ he asked, giving her a devilish grin ‘What would it take to make it perfect?’

‘Hmmm.’ She pondered for a moment, a cheeky grin crossing her face as she stepped closer again, her chest flush against his ‘Perhaps a goodnight kiss.’

‘Oh really?’ he grinned as he laced his fingers around the back of her head.

‘Mhmm.’ she nodded, licking her lips in anticipation as he pulled her in.

He pressed his soft lips against hers, his left hand cupping her cheek and his thumb stroking her high cheekbone. She opened her mouth to deepen it, their tongues dancing together as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her even closer. She moaned against his lips as she felt a heat forming in her core, lacing her fingers through his hair as their kiss became more heated.

‘Did you want to come up?’

‘I’d love to.’ He replied, pulling away so that he could look her in the eye.

‘But...‘

‘But this is only our first date.’ He replied, pinching her chin with his thumb and pointer finger as he kissed her again ‘Let me do this properly. No jumping into things.’

‘Are you sure you’re not Canadian?’ She joked, grinning as he kissed her again.

‘Goodnight Ada.’ He replied, giving her one last peck on the lips before watching her walk away.

They spent most of that weekend texting like teenagers. They text about what they were doing, what they were reading. They even ended up watching Empire Strikes back and talked on the phone to each other during. They then continued to talk to each other as they lay in their beds, talking about their schedules for the week and possible plans for the weekend. When they finally said goodnight they agreed to have breakfast together in their favourite little cafe in the morning. Once again the day started as it always did. They stood in line together, ordered their coffees and muffins and sat at their usual table beside the counter. The conversation, as always, was easy and relaxed. They joked about how lame they were talking on the phone in bed like two smitten teenagers. Secretly though, neither of them had wanted to hang up. Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of sirens, screaming and shouting suddenly erupted in the morning air and the door of the cafe crashed open. Two masked guys came screaming in, guns waving above their heads and sending everyone into a frenzy.

‘Everyone get down!’ they shouted, pointing their guns at the customers who were crouching with their hands above their heads.

Marcus instantly switched into FBI agent mode, his right hand wrapping around his gun as looked at Ada beside him.

‘Stay down.’ he whispered as he squeezed her arm and started to stand.

‘Hey, Jackass I told everyone to get down.’ Shouted one of the men, waving his gun at him as he spoke.

‘Let these people go.’ he said, taking a step towards them.

‘Who is this guy?’

‘Dunno but he’s clearly got a death wish.’ One sniggered,

‘I’m Agent Pike.’ He started, hand still wrapped around his gun ‘I work for the FBI. If you let them go I can help you come to a peaceful solution.’

‘FBI huh?’ the leader replied, tilting his head to the side as he studied the agent across from him ‘Well you’ll be useful.’ He stated, pulling the trigger and sending Marcus stumbling backwards

‘NO!’ Ada screamed as she threw herself to his side, catching him as his legs gave out beneath him ‘Marcus…. Marcus look at me.’ she pleaded, shaking him as his eyes darted around the room in shock.

The agent rolled his head to look at her, blood rushing in his ears as he tried to suck in a pained breath. He could feel his shirt soaking quickly with the crimson lifeblood that gushed from the bullet wound to his abdomen. Ada’s shaking hands desperately tried to keep pressure on it as she held him in her arms, tears streaming down her cheeks. She leaned him against the counter and tore her cardigan from her shoulder, pressing it down hard on Marcus’ stomach which elicited a pained moan from the agent.

‘Well I’m sure this isn’t how you saw breakfast going.’ he joked, placing a shaky hand on hers.

‘Not exactly no.’ She replied, smiling at him grimly as she watched her cream cardigan slowly turn red.

The phone to the cafe rang and the leader answered, screaming his demands to the police on the other end.

‘You will give us what we want or the Federal Agent that’s currently bleeding out on the floor isn’t going to make it.’ he growled, shooting a look at Pike ‘You give us what we want or Agent Pike will die… You have one hour.’ he finished, slamming the handset down on the counter and storming off.

Time seemed to crawl by. Ada watched the minutes ticked by, willing time to go faster as she felt Marcus slipping away from her. Half an hour passed and his skin tone had taken on a sickly grey shade, dark bags forming under his eyes as each breath came in short, laboured pants. She watched as his eyes start to droop, panic rising inside her as his head dipped.

‘Stay with me.’ she pleaded, lifting his head so that she could look him in the eye ‘You need to stay awake.’

‘Talk to me.’ he asked, leaning into her touch.

‘What do you want to talk about?’

‘’Will you go on another date with me?’ he asked suddenly, taking Ada by surprise.

‘What?’

‘I want to take you out on another date.’ he stated, giving her a weak smile.

‘Of course, I’ll go on another date with you Marcus.’ She sobbed, stroking his cheek with her thumb.

‘G-good.’ he stuttered, feeling his strength start to seep away.

‘And then afterwards I want you to stay with me.’ She continued, desperately trying to keep him with her a little longer ‘I’ll make you pancakes in the morning, I have a posh coffee machine that makes amazing coffee. Then we’ll spend all day watching old movies, eating junk food and making out.’

‘Sound’s good.’ He replied, smirking at her weakly.

Ada watched as he started to lose the fight, his lips taking on a startling shade of blue as breathing got harder and harder. A sudden cough painted his lips with blood splatters and her stomach sank. She knew the longer they waited, the less time Marcus had left. Grabbing a napkin from the counter above, she wiped the blood from his lips before placing a soft kiss on them. Marcus felt his heart flutter at the feeling of her soft lips on his, kissing her back before everything went black.

~§~

Chapter 2

[dizzyingflicker]

frigid air (fic commentary)

literally no one asked for this but hello! hi! if you didn’t know, i wrote a 11 chapter fic called ‘frigid air’ a few weeks back. the fic started as jayhoon centric, but it kinda got off the rails from there hehe

the birth of the idea

so the bri from a few weeks ago was already thinking about writing a lengthy enha au. 

i just finished writing a jakehoon one shot and wanted to try my hand at writing another ship! at first, i thought of typical au ideas that were college themed. those are the most fun to write and read imo, bc it’s so grounded in reality. and also bc the jakehoon one shot i wrote was a lot heavier and angsty, which was something i think i’m better at doing! there’s this really great fic i read that inspired me to try my hand at some lighter themes! 

after reading that au, i was like “hmmmm im gonna try writing some romcom type of stuff.” i always ALWAYS write angst, so this was a really nice and fun change! 

yes, back to the college au ideas. i then began to think about what majors the enha kids would do if they went to college. my notes for the first outline kind of went like this: 

Jay - fashion major, new addition to the dorm, is rich but doesnt want anyone to know, is kind despite being taken advantage of in his hometown, just wants a normal family 

Heeseung - music production major, has a soundcloud lowkey but doesn't let anyone know, is going thru his first real heartbreak and is using music to deal with it 

Jungwon - hasnt decided on a major, came to uni w a full ride taekwondo scholarship, secret boyfriend, coming to terms w sexuality 

Jake - australian exchange student, architecture major, maybe gets a weird stalker? 

Sunoo - beauty school, wants to be a hairstylist, kinda eccentric, knows everyone’s business

Sunghoon - figure skater, doesnt go to school, is close to getting on the national team, lives in a dorm to avoid his tiger parents, softspot for his younger sister

Niki - dance major from japan, is a little too clingy, feels lonely away from his family 

in hindsight, the characters here seem a lot more deeper and fleshed out as compared to what i ended up writing, but i realized that if i kept all of this in - it would’ve been really overwhelming for the reader. i had to remind myself that this was a jayhoon centric fic LMAOOOOO 

after writing this, i was like “WAITTTT A HOT SEC” this sounds a lot like hello my twenties! which btw, is an amazing show on netflix that you should definitely watch. i watched this show with my girlfriend and man, the way it handled all of the a,b,c, etc plots was so fantastic. 

every character had their own stories and that’s what i loved. usually in fics or aus, a lot of the side characters sort of fade into the background. they also do this thing where their main reason for existence is to lift the mc or main ship up in the story. i wanted to avoid that, so taking inspo from hello my 20s, i decided to give every character a story. whether it be something big like sunoo’s stalker or something small like heejake’s and jungniel’s development, i wanted to give them all something to tell. in hello my 20s, each of the girs living in that house had their own unique stories that fit them really well. whether i did it as well as the writers of the show - that’s something else to unpack, right? 

the characters and their developments 

so this is something i’m not sure if i did well in or not. the original plot was to have jay and sunghoon not get along at all. with jay’s abrasiveness and sunghoon’s surface coolness, i thought it would be fun to see them butt heads. but i realized that it wasn’t so realistic because they don’t really see each other enough to butt heads that much. i thought making sunghoon shy and reserved (thus standoffish) while jay tries his best to make sunghoon open up was a lot more cuter. 

jay is a lot more bold in this, even through his embarassing moments. he’s self-assured, determined and open to pretty much anything. he’s generous and friendly. the only weakness jay has is he’s too presumptious sometimes and assumes stuff without any real basis, as seen with him assuming that ryujin and sunghoon were dating bc of a passing remark from jake and some yt comments. i gave him a dead dad at the end of the fic bc hello we’re projecting but also to explain why he’s super close to his mum and why he’s just a tad bit behind everyone else his age. i wanted to expand on this a little but sadly, i kinda ran out of words to talk about this. if you know what i mean. tbh, jay doesn’t have much of a development in this. that’s something i really want to improve on in my next au, giving my mc some actual development instead of getting carried away with other side characters. 

sunghoon is, as i said, shy and reserved. he has a lil trauma from being rejected by seon years ago. you can tell that his experience was not pleasant at all - so he keeps feelings of attraction and want farrrrrr away from him. sunghoon is sorry he’s an anti-romantic, if you will. throughout this fic, you see him open up to jay and realize that not every guy he’s attracted to will reject him painfully. he also learns that he doesn’t need to keep people at an arms length away and that opening himself up to more people will bring about very nice things! very cliche but hey, it iz what it iz. 

jungwon was a fun one to write! not bc i feel a little of what he feels, but bc he’s adorable with daniel and having him be unsure was fun to write. jungwon is pretty self-assured in this fic, but with daniel, he’s not really sure what he’s doing. 

heeseung feels secure enough with jake that he’s willing to sing in front of him, which is something he doesn’t do. jake is very naive about relationships and hee’s feelings for him, but heeseung kind of brings him down back to reality with the scene from han river. heeseung is getting over a breakup and that stuff takes a while, so that’s why i didn’t let them get together too fast. hee knows how jake feels about him and he doesn’t want to ruin it by jumping into things so fast. 

sunoo is super friendly and too trusting with people, which is both a blessing and a curse. niki and him have been attached to the hip since their friendship started and niki sees sunoo as a very very dear friend to him. bc who else lets him sleep in his bed and who else buys him taiyaki everyday? that’s right, it’s his sunoo hyung. sunoo also cares for niki a lot and they’re just very sweet. 

what i did well and what i didn’t 

okay this is debatable, but i did like how i wrote the developing relationships in this, mostly the ones that weren’t the main jayhoon arc. i liked the way i wrote jungwon and daniel’s little friction and i loved heejake’s confession scene. 

the humour in this was a little weak for me, but it was my first attempt at writing it so it’s forgivable. 

i just wished i wrote the main relationship better. i feel like it took a while at the beginning and suddenly went from 49 to 27403 real quick. if i were to rewrite it, i’d give them a lot more time to pine as that stage before friends and maybe insert more conflict. 

i’d give jay a stronger conflict other than trying to befriend with sunghoon. his character felt very 1d for me and i didn’t like that. i needed to develop him more tbh LMAOOO 

music! 

anti-romantic by txt

perhaps love by eric nam ft cheeze

love poem by iu 

give love by akmu 

hope ur ok by olivia rodrigo 

only yoou by yand da il 

references for sunghoon’s ice skating 

sunghoon’s white outfit in the youtube video with ryujin 

sunghoon’s black outfit in nationals 

the reference pic jay draws of sunghoon (which seon sees) 

if you read the fic, i’d like to say thank you! i had a lot of fun writing this and seeing everyone’s reactions to the plot twists was super fun hehehehe i genuinely loved doing it even tho it gave me a lot stress! thank u for reading this if u read it too LMAOOOOO 

[samwritesforyou]

For me

fandom: yuri on ice!!!

pairing: viktor x yuuri

word count: 6.4k

genres: established relationship, hurt/comfort, fluff

description: our favourite couple for the first time since s1 makes it both to the tournament, both as ice skaters this time. yuuri is sent to rostelekom cup, whereas viktor was selected to skate on the china cup. how will they sort out their separation and what will happen on the grand prix? will they finally debut as lovers-opponents on ice?

“What?!” Yuri exclaimed, his eyes flushing open even more violently than they were before, his gaze shooting from Viktor and back at the tv in the living room.

“Well, you heard it, I got selected to participate in China Cup and you in Rostelekom Cup, Yuuri,” his husband shrugged with a light smile, leaning in for another kiss as they were laying both on the sofa, cuddling under the same blanket.

“Nononono, how can you be so calm about this?!” Yuuri pulled away from him, intensely continuing in watching ice-skating news.

“We still have Grand Prix to attend together, I doubt either of us won’t make it there, dumpling,” he mused, at least brushing his lover’s cheek with his fingers.

“Are you going away from each other for at least a week then?!” yelled Yuuri’s ballet teacher from the armchair behind them, quickly hopping to their side.

“I don’t know! Apparently!” yelped dark haired guy, now being violently shaken by Minako.

If you didn’t know, currently the worldwide famous couple Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov were on a short holiday from all the training and skating, residing at Katsuki family house, just enjoying their time together.

Because both of them were often abroad, they left Makkachin here, since Yuuri’s family takes an excellent care of him and a happy doggo has a lot of space to run around the place.

So now he was loved by these two over the moon, being kissed and patted all the time.

Ever since they returned they were always surrounded by Katsuki family, the only time when they were truly alone was when they got out of the house and went for a walk in nature or at night in their shared room.

It might seem like a lot, but they were doing just fine, everything was perfect.

Viktor was talking about “debuting” together both as ice-skaters at the tournament for the first time and Yuuri got fired up by the idea as well.

They foolishly believed that they would be able to do it even before Grand Prix.

But destiny has its own way and now they’ll have to wait.

So that’s why the younger man was so emotional about the news, while Viktor was just sure that their “debut” together will happen a bit later than they anticipated.

He was calm, when Yuuri was worried, he was angry when his partner was reassuring. They were really the perfect couple.

.

.

Soon enough it was time to part as they arrived at the airport.

“Babe, why did you go with me this early?” Viktor smiled tenderly at his partner, placing a light peck on his cheek, “Are you forgetting that I’m the one who’s accustomed to flights and not you?” he kept smiling sweetly, looking at his husband, eyes filled with love and affection.

Yuuri was hardly listening to any of the things that were being said to him, his eyelids basically glued together, blue-ish bags under them - clearly all this rolling around in bed wasn’t because he was dreaming about something, he simply wasn’t sleeping.

Viktor’s flight was at 4am, yet he looked like he was just freshly out of the spa salon, hair on fleek, light make-up made, outfit styled.

Yuuri’s flight was, on the contrary, at 9am, so he could easily still be sleeping in their cosy bed, but he really wanted to be with his love as long as he could.

“You’re adorable,” Nikiforov said, chuckling to himself and then hugged him tightly, only then letting his guard down and actually biting his lower lip, eyes filling with sadness, “I’m going to miss you, Yuuri,” he sighed near his ear.

The man in his arms got a bit more wide awake by that, clutching his coat and trying to get closer to him, even though their bodies were already pressed firmly together.

“Viktor.. best of luck. I love you so much,” he said quietly, breathing his familiar scent while being snuggled in the crook of his neck, eyes closed.

“I love you too, baby,” he answered and pulled away, encouraging smile already plastered on his face.

He wants to give all the strength to his husband so he doesn’t have to worry about him.

“You need to go already, come on..” Yuuri nodded at him, shooing him away, trying to fight tears.

It’s just a week, come on!.. he thought to himself, wobbly smile threatening to fall any second.

“Okay, okay. See you very soon,” he leaned in for the quick kiss and then pulled away, dragging his silver coloured luggage by the handle, waving and sending air-kisses, not letting their eye-contact fall until the very end.

Yuuri felt tears rolling down his cheeks and he let himself have this little cry in the middle of the airport at 4am, after a while just waddling towards the closest chair and collapsing there, falling asleep.

.

.

Both of the parties made it safely to their destinations, settling into hotels and making themselves comfortable.

As soon as Viktor was free, Yuuri felt his phone ring and immediately jumped to it from his bed, hitting answer with a camera.

“My love, how did Saint Petersburg welcome you?” Viktor asked excitedly, for some reason with a glass of champagne in his skinny hands.

The man on the other end was instantly reminded of the memory of numerous insisting taxi drivers offering him a ride to wherever he needed for a cheap price, then some older women bickering in the public transport, but most importantly one little girl that recognised him as a “famous ice skater who married our Vitya Nikiforov” and wanted to take a picture with him. To which he obliged happily, even though he was tired from the road.

“Wonderfully,” he answered with a warm smile, looking at his phone screen, wishing the man he’s seeing was right next to him right now.

“Amazing to hear that,” he sipped on the bubbly liquid and smiled, even though his eyes were clearly indicating how much he’s battling sadness.

“Viktor?..” Yuuri started, kinda nervous. He wasn’t the confrontational type, really.

But he felt like his other half was trying to put on a brave face just so he doesn’t have to worry, but Katsuki did feel all his sadness even miles away.

At that, Viktor’s blue eyes shifted to look at him directly.

“Look.. I’m sad that we can’t be together right now, especially during the tournament time,” Japanese said, rubbing his hands in front of himself, “but I feel like you’re trying to act that it doesn’t bother you that much, maybe.. for me not to worry about you?”

Nikiforov’s thin brows knitted together, glass being slowly put aside.

“But you don’t have to do that. We can be.. I don’t know, sad together? I still see your longing in the eyes, you can’t really hide that,” he concluded softly, smiling almost apologetically, that he had to make this into such a big deal.

It looked as if some weight was literally lifted from Viktor’s shoulders, as he just plumped himself onto the couch he’s been sitting on, phone firmly in hand, placed above his face.

Suddenly his brows started to go up and Yuuri saw first tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I just miss you,” he said quietly, wiping them off with the free hand.

“I miss you too,” Yuuri said, his own eyes watering as he laughed a bit at how ridiculous they were being.

It was less than a day without each other.

“You know what, Yuuri Katsuki,” said Viktor, laughing already as well, but not being able to stop crying just yet, “being in a relationship with you is the most wild thing that ever happened to me,” he finished, shaking his head with a wide smile on his face.

“I know right?” his partner answered, filling the audio with laughter.

.

.

When Yuuri’s phone rang, the whole room was still dark, the sun didn’t even think of getting up, so why the hell should he?..

It kept ringing, sending a lovely melody through the space.

Caller was a stubborn one, that’s for sure. And ice-skater was almost entirely sure of who that might be.

“Good morning, my not so early bird!” literally sang into the device Viktor, mood thousand times better than what Yuuri was experiencing in the current moment.

“Not so early?.. Did you forget about the timezones, because here it’s 6am!” Katsuki sighed in disbelief, making himself sit on the bed, rubbing his tired eyes.

“Oh.. that’s true! I completely forgot,” Viktor laughed, which made Yuuri involuntarily melt into the warm smile, despite his half-awake state.

“I was just wondering, Yuurochka, do you want me to guide you through St. Petersburg? Because our choreographies are well learned and I believe you can sometimes go into that lovely city!” Viktor smiled at the camera, blue eyes flicking from one side to another.

What was he looking at?..

“Uhh.. yeah, sure! Sad that we can’t be here together, but even through the phone it’ll be nice, I think,” Yuuri smiled sleepily, putting his phone on the stand on the bedside table and opened his luggage where he packed just some clothes, charger, earphones, costumes for the performance and figure skates.

They often did this with his husband, just video call together and each of them doing their own thing, kind of a simulation of their normal life when they’re next to each other in flesh.

“Darling?” black haired boy looked up at the camera, in hands with his picked outfit for the day - grey sweater and dark denim jeans.

When Viktor saw that he has his lover’s attention, he smiled sweetly, “I noticed you have two zits on your face, so apply some cream on it, will you?”

Yuuri blinked a few times comically and then yelped, running to the bathroom to see for himself. And he was right.

No, wait. He wasn’t.

Japanese skater had three zits, it’s just that Viktor probably couldn’t see the other one due to the camera quality.

“Thank god,” Katsuki sighed and then returned in front of his phone.

“I will,” he said and started doing it right away, pushing out some white cream out of the tube that his husband specifically bought him. Probably something expensive, as most things from him were.

Then he didn’t really give this any thought, but he started undressing right in front of his phone as well, putting glasses aside, stripping off the white tee and then pulling over his head some black shirt and then grey sweater.

Once he was also done with the bottom half of his body he heard a whistle from the other end of the line.

His hazel eyes immediately shot up to the screen where Viktor was watching him intensely, smug grin on his face.

“I was glad to witness your dressing up session, babe, such a shame I can’t be next to you right now,” he sighed theatrically loudly, putting slender hand to his forehead, making it seem as if he’s fainting from the longing.

Yuuri, on the other hand, was more and more turning violent crimson, mumbling something indecipherable and putting on his glasses, taking the phone in his hand so now ice skater Nikiforov could only see his husband’s flustered face.

“Shut up, Viktor, let’s head out,” he said, furrowing and making the man on the other end laugh heartily.

Then it was time for the handsome man with platinum hair to be surprised and blink comically.

“Uh... head out?” he asked, not really getting it.

“Well, it’s not gonna be fair if I’m the only one who’s going out to see your city when you’re sitting comfortably inside, is it?” now Yuuri was the owner of the mischievous smirk, looking at his partner with pleased face expression.

“Ah, you’re so smart sometimes, baby,” Viktor teased and then went to change his clothes as well, but as it turned out he didn’t have any clothes under his robe, so Yuuri had to quickly avert his gaze to prevent any undesired “excitement”.

After all, Viktor’s body was always such a treat, even thousand miles away.

“Aw, you weren’t looking?” said Russian in a pouty manner, when he turned back to face the camera.

“W-what?! Of course not, let’s go,” Yuuri mumbled, putting a scarf a bit higher to cover even bigger portion of his face.

He didn’t really experience winter in Russia yet, but he was prepared.

.

.

When Katsuki was out and about St. Petersburg’s streets, Viktor had absolutely no problem guiding him through all of the corners that he knew and that normal tourists don’t get to see, all of that while he himself was striding through completely unfamiliar Chinese neighbourhood, every once in a while being called by fans and had to stop to take a picture and give autographs.

Nobody noticed Yuuri outside, maybe it was because he wasn’t that popular yet, despite being Viktor’s husband, but most probably it was because his face was a literal mess.

His brownish scarf was covering half the face and his glasses were foggy most of the time because he kept breathing into the cloth and thus all the air was brought back onto the surface of his lenses.

Viktor made Yuuri go all the way to his most memorable café of all times and he also recommended him to order his favourite dessert there, leaving the beverage choice up to him.

Younger man of course trusted Viktor’s tastebuds and got himself a relatively small cupcake, decorated astonishingly with cream in form of leaves and a rose on top of that.

He bit right into it, tasting all the magical flavour of the dessert, making Viktor melt into a warm smile while watching him munch on it.

Nikiforov himself had to go into some Chinese café as well, to make it seem as a date, as if they’re really together. And it kinda worked, he was full of love for his partner, rarely thinking about how much he’d want to see him in real life instead of the phone screen.

.

.

As the days went on, both of them spend a lot of time training, sometimes even on the call when practicing, looking at each other’s progress and cheering one another.

Every once in a while their schedules met and they could go on a “virtual date” of sorts, Yuuri being navigated by his lover’s voice through the streets of St. Petersburg and Viktor finding himself some spot in the Chinese corners as well.

And on one of those walks Viktor led his husband to one of the prettiest parks, covered in snow, making Yuuri speechless from the beauty all around him.

“Hey, you!” he suddenly heard a voice that wasn’t coming from the phone, but rather somewhere behind him.

Japanese skater turned around and his eyes widened in light surprise as he saw a familiar figure in front of him.

“Baby? What’s up?” said Viktor from the device, being able to see now only Yuuri’s lower part of the face, because he put his phone instinctively closer to his body.

“Why aren’t you training, huh?” said younger lad, blonde hair covering half of his face.

There wasn’t a usual scowl planted on his features, rather just an arched brow in the question.

“I’m just.. taking a break! That’s healthy too,” Yuuri answered, smiling at his friend.

Ever since Nikiforov and Katsuki got officially married, Yurio lay off of his aggressive behaviour towards the latter one, accepting him as a part of his close friends circle now.

It was a nice change and Yuuri finally got the opportunity to get to know the teenager better, talking to him without bickering.

“Yurioooo, I can hear you all the way from China!” suddenly a loud statement was heard in a singing manner from the phone that Yuuri was holding near to his stomach and then he flipped the device in his hands so that both of the Russians could see each other through the camera.

Viktor was waving at his younger friend enthusiastically, apparently walking through some Chinese park as well.

“Yo,” blondie said, way less enthusiastically, just nodding into his direction, “kinda sucks that we didn’t meet on Rostelekom cup,” he added, adjusting his scarf so it’s less in his face.

Harsh Russian climate will make even Plisetsky wear something warm, huh.

“It’s okay, we’ll meet on the Grand Prix~” Viktor answered, not even for a second doubting any of their victories.

“That’s true,” Yurio smirked.

“Well, since you two met like this, why don’t you guys go and have lunch together? Would be a nice bonding time,” Nikiforov mused, his smile wide and pleased.

Yuuri was ready to start protesting, since he knew that the guy standing in front of him wasn’t a fan of companies, when his companion surprised him.

“Yeah, why not,” Yurio shrugged and then turned around, probably ready to guide him towards some restaurant.

“How splendid!” Viktor clapped his hands and when Yuuri finally turned the cellphone back to his face, he looked at his husband, “Have fun with Yurio, alright?” then he sent an air kiss to the camera and their hours-long call ended.

.

.

The week of the tournament was already at close, bringing the day of performances to light.

Both Yuuri and Yurio landed all their jumps, flips and quads, gaining best results, younger skater getting a bit more points for the artistic lifts of his hands, making the choreography difficulty higher.

Katsuki was trying to dial Viktor’s phone right away but the number was unavailable, so he sat in front of the tv in the changing rooms, watching intensely to see the results of the China Cup.

“And we can see here the winners,” said moderator’s enthusiastic voice as the camera zoomed in on the pedestal with three people standing on it, Viktor with a smile waving from the highest level, then taking his gold medal in hand, kissing it.

Yuuri melted into the warm smile, his eyes filling with tears.

Of course they’ll meet on Grand Prix. Of course. It’s Viktor Nikiforov we’re talking about, after all.

“Viktor Nikiforov standing proudly with a golden medal,” was the only thing Japanese skater registered from the tv before his phone rang.

“Darling,” he heard his lover’s voice, full of contentment, “I will see you on the Grand Prix, right?”

“Of course, Viktor..” he answered, smiling almost shyly, getting up from the bench and only then realising that he can still see him on the screen, “wait! how are you talking to me when—“

“You see me on the tv? Magic, my sticky bun, it’s not live, if you noticed,” Yuuri’s eyes immediately drifted to the corner of the screen, which indeed said ‘prerecorded’, “the ceremony was held like an hour ago and after that I was literally bombarded with interviews of all kinds. As soon as I got the chance I called you,” he concluded, Katsuki could practically feel his husband smiling into the device on the other end, all the way in China, “What’s your score, baby?” he asked in the end.

“I.. you’ll see it soon, we’re going for the broadcast in about ten minutes,” he said nervously, clutching the phone closer to his ear.

“Hey..” almost whispered Viktor gently, “even if it’s not gold, I’m so proud of you,” he then hung up, leaving Yuuri shaking from the tears he was trying to surpass.

I love you so much, Viktor... I want to show you so much more of what I can do...

And with these thoughts he wiped his watering eyes, making his way towards the ice ring, to the pedestal where he stood next to Yurio, on the second level, receiving a silver medal.

.

.

Next reunion of the loving husbands set place in Vancouver, Canada.

They welcomed each other with a warm hug and passionate embrace, Yuuri rushing towards Viktor from his flight that was slightly delayed, so the older one had to wait for him way longer than they first anticipated.

“I really missed you,” said Nikiforov, gently kissing the golden ring on his partner’s finger, making his other half blush.

“I m-missed you too,” he whispered back, kind of anxiously looking at the front seat of a car they were riding in, at a taxi driver who was just minding his own business.

The younger man still had quite a hard time in expressing their romantic affection in public, feeling almost ashamed for some reason and Viktor had countless talks with him about it, assuring him that everything is okay and that in comparison to him, Katsuki family supports him.

But he never got angry at him because of it and just didn’t push any actions further once he noticed that Yuuri was nervous in public again for any reason.

“Hey, babe, it’s okay,” Viktor just gently took his hand in his, squeezing reassuringly in a silent ‘i love you’ in his ocean eyes that Yuuri knew so well.

He replied with a wide grin, feeling the warmth of their connected palms.

The whole world seems complete when they’re together.

And in a few days the miracle couple started relentlessly training on the ice ring, alongside their friends and rivals like Yurio, JJ, Otabek, Chris and many others.

It was filled with a lot of different emotions, frustrations and happy moments, all mashing together in a big pile.

“Are you sure you want to do this flip?” said Viktor, gracefully doing a round slide on the ice, leaning towards the left side, making it look like what he was doing didn’t acquire any effort.

When these two were practising, all eyes were on Nikiforov. He was just brilliant on trainings and very rarely fell or did some kind of mistake, even in the absolutely new choreographies.

“Yes, I really do,” Yuuri confirmed, his gaze not shifting from his partner’s blue eyes, his own hazel ones filled with determination.

“Alright,” Viktor stopped practicing his own routine and skated closer towards his lover, once again showing him all the moves required for the action he wanted to try.

“Okay, I got it,” said Katsuki and then did the steps just like Viktor, after a moment spinning in the air like nobody dared before and when the landing came, he didn’t count with the speed and fell hard on the ice, feeling an instant crack somewhere in the leg.

“Yuuri!” Nikiforov slid towards him immediately, helping him to get up, but his husband only yelped in pain, “I told you it was too difficult for you yet!”

His tone was stern and soaked with worry as he helped him get up, Yuuri hissing in discomfort and putting his hand around Viktor’s shoulder, being dragged out of the ring.

.

.

One week later was the Grand Prix that they all trained so hard for.

Every corner was buzzing in the training wing. Figure skaters were talking together, some were watching tv that showed the judges that were discussing the whole event, having usual speeches, some people were listening to music and doing their regular stretches on the yoga mats, coaches were trying to hype their skaters as much as they could... It was lively.

It was everything that Viktor loved so dearly, his heart was beating for this atmosphere. He knew every participant and everyone in turn was awaiting his show. Everything was perfect.

Except next to him sat silent Yurio, angrily drinking from the water bottle, lion shirt on top of his beautiful costume.

“Don’t be so fucking sad,” he growled at him, finishing his drink and putting it on the floor with force, his green eyes piercing at the tv in front of them.

“Whatever,” Viktor answered quietly, standing up and slowly making his way towards the available yoga mat, stretching his muscles. His whole body hurt, he didn’t sleep well last night.

Of course, sleeping without Yuuri by his side was a new thing to get used to. Even Makkachin was all the way in Japan, not being able to keep him company.

It wasn’t unusual for Viktor that his emotional state went to the pits of hell, it was quite normal for him to experience burnout since he was present on the ice skating stage ever since he was 14 - just like Plisetsky, by the way, no wonder he’s so angry all the time - and the thing that kept him going was that burning passion for skating no matter what.

But ever since he took that break for one season to train Yuuri, his main motivation has become his partner, funnily enough. Even now, when they were supposed to be opponents, he still found himself demotivated by the fact that he is not participating due to suffering an injury and is now currently in the hospital.

“This was supposed to be our debut as opponents and lovers!” he clutched his fist and hit the wall, making everyone stare at him, room getting silent.

“What are you looking at?!” yelled Yurio at everyone, putting the attention on himself, stripping from the lion shirt, revealing his breathtaking costume for the show, “You all better look at me now, I’m going to skate first,” he said, making his way towards the ice.

Viktor mentally thanked his younger friend for drawing the attention away from him as he lost his control for a second, now retrieving to the staircase of the building, not wanting to be seen like this.

When you’re in love you really take all the good and the bad from the attachment to the person.

.

.

Katsuki just finished watching Yurio’s routine from the tv that was by request put into his hospital room where he was alone. Viktor paid for the more expensive service even though Yuuri said that it wouldn’t really matter to him where he was spending time if it’s not with him on the ice.

He felt incredibly sad, guilty and angry at himself for trying that reckless jump on the training, resulting in him injuring his left leg.

It wasn’t actually anything serious, but he needed to rest the muscle. So that meant no Grand Prix. No skating with Viktor for the first time.

He could only imagine what his husband was feeling. Trainings always got more intense right before the competition so the last time when they heard each other was about a week ago when he shortly called to simply ask about his well-being.

Just as he thought about it, though, his phone rang and Yuuri visibly flinched, not being used to receiving any calls lately.

He didn’t even look at the caller ID, automatically going with, “Viktor?!”

“You dumbass, it’s Yurio,” the agitated voice on the other end said, clearly still partially out of breath from the show that he just skated.

It was incredible.

“Oh!” he blinked a few times and then regained his composure, quickly saying, “I just saw your routine, it was amazing! Good job!”

“Yeah-yeah, whatever,” he said, gritting his teeth, continuing, “I’m calling because of Viktor. He’s.. in bad shape,” his voice grew quieter, “so you better cheer him the fuck up. Understood? I don’t know how, but do it quickly,” he was speaking seriously, probably clutching the phone in his hand with all his strength.

Then, before the Japanese had any time to reply, he hung up, leaving Yuuri to listen to the beeping on the other end.

Bad shape?..

His thoughts, everything in his mind speeding up and racing back and forth.

I need to fix that!..

During his time while he was in a relationship with Viktor, Yuuri has learned a lot of things. One of the more fundamental ones were.. being creative.

Sometimes they would have fights and he had to come up with a way to surprise him to both make him speechless and want to talk to him again, not being angry anymore.

So he really did master this skill of being creative and now he’s going to put this to use.

A plan came up to his mind almost immediately and he instantly pushed a red button for calling the nurse into the room.

.

.

A few skaters already had their go, Viktor was supposed to show himself right in the middle of the tournament but he felt like in this state he won’t reach even his usual score.

Is this it? Has love ruined Viktor Nikiforov’s incredible talent and years of grind with hard work?..

His eyes were wide open as he was watching young Otabek finishing up his routine flawlessly, getting a second place right after Yurio, who was currently sitting on the top.

He felt how someone patted him on the shoulder and looked behind himself, spotting Chris with a warm smile, extending a hand towards his friend with a phone.

“It’s your husband, Viktor,” he winked at him flirtatiously and Russian took it hesitantly, all thoughts mixed up together.

“Viktor!! I couldn’t reach you on your phone, so please turn on the tv on the channel two right now!” he almost yelled in the device, making his partner furrow his brows together.

“What?..” Nikiforov said, confusion written all over his expression.

“Please, I’m so sorry that I ended up with an injury but it should’ve never affected you, любимый*!” at the last Russian word Viktor just bit his lower lip, tears threatening to fall down his face.

“Don’t hang up, Yuuri, whatever you came up with, I want to be with you at least like this,” said the older man, putting Chris’ phone closer to his ear, as if shortening the distance between the two of them.

As the reply he just heard a hum in affirmation from his husband.

He quickly took the remote of the tv and changed the station from the official tournament broadcast, making the majority of the people in the room questioningly turntheir head towards the genius skater again, but he didn’t care.

On the tv he saw Yuuri in normal clothes, not a hospital robe, standing behind some white wall, clearly nervous and with a microphone in his hand.

Once Viktor saw this, he couldn’t control his emotions and just ran around the whole wing, turning every single screen to show channel two, now Yuuri looking at him from every corner.

“At first I would like to apologise for disturbing your preparations for the tournament, competitors, but as you all know I badly landed one of the jumps at practise and ended up with a moderate injury, resulting in me being unable to participate,” he took a deep breath before continuing, still looking somewhere at his feet, “and I suspect that Viktor Nikiforov, who once used to be my coach and who is now another one of my opponents in the competition.. I think he’s not doing well, because we promised each other that we would skate together on the Grand Prix no matter what,” he now lifted his hazel eyes, wobbly smile on his face, “Who knew, huh? Well.. I am here to lift your spirits, Viktor. Even if I’m not there,” he smiled broadly, cheeks heating up, becoming slightly pink.

Japanese cleared his throat and proceeded.

“Whatever I wouldn’t do, my life is always bringing me back. Back to you,” his eyes were now filled with determination and love, “Before I met you, I didn’t know what love was, I didn’t know what it meant when you couldn’t breathe in your normal tempo without the other person anymore. I didn’t know that this could ever mean so much to anyone,” he slowly lifted his engagement ring on his finger, fighting the stinging sensation in his eyes, “before you, I was just a lost boy, lost person, lost life. You made me find myself professionally and as a person. You made me whole. I know, I don’t say there things often and especially in public when we see each other, so hearing it like this is probably even more frustrating to you, but.. I want you to win. Don’t you let my absence discourage you,” he furrowed his brows together, not stopping “You were so open about me and your feelings, I think it’s time for me to finally pay you back. Viktor, you once captured my heart and it stays perfectly still in your hands, forever,” Yuuri put his hand with the golden ring on his chest, on his beating heart,

“Please, win. For me.”

The broadcast ended after this, everyone turning the screen back to the original channel as Viktor stayed in place, wide-eyed.

“Viktor?..” he heard Yuuri close to his ear now, gently bringing him back to reality.

He sighed deeply, a smile slowly appearing on his face, “Babe... Watch me,” he said, voice full of so well known hazard for skating the routine well.

From all his excitement he didn’t even notice all the commotion on the other end of Yuuri’s side as they exchanged a few more phrases and then hung up.

“That was a long ass call,” said with a pleased grin Chris as he got his phone back, “You guys are my favourite couple. I hate to encourage my opponent, but go get that win, Viktor!” he yelled at Nikiforov’s back already, as the Russian skater made his way towards the ring, ready to capture gold.

.

.

Metro at this hour was full with people and Yuuri did his best to spectate Viktor’s performance on live tv and to watch where he’s going.

Despite the recommendations of doctors at the hospital he said he needs to be there with him, so he was now rushing towards the skating ring, his stamina now being able to withstand longer distances, ever since he started training with his partner.

He’d have to push through the endless crowds of people, someone recognising him and immediately wanting an autograph or to talk, sometimes his leg would send a pang if pain right through his whole body, making him grunt on his journey.

But he was determined. Yuuri wanted to see his husband on ice as he’s winning a medal. Because he just knew, Viktor is winning one. There was not a single doubt about it in his heart that beat so much faster and more passionate for this particular Russian skater.

Finally, when he made it to the arena, he sprinted through the training area, making multiple coaches and participants look up at him in awe, fully realising what the fool came to do.

He was here for Viktor only, and everyone knew that. Their love towards each other was unstoppable.

As the skinny, incredibly beautiful and elegant skater gathered up strength and lifted his body off the ground like a feather in his signature flip, the whole world was watching. Everyone caught their breath, not daring to move, awaiting the landing and therefore the result.

Not a lot of people knew this, but the only thing that Viktor was thinking about at that moment was his husband, Yuuri. How he clutched his hand to his chest, where the heart is, golden ring shining into the camera.

So much emotion and genuine agitation over the fact that they can’t yet make their debut as partners on ice... all mixed up in a beautiful whirl of tears slowly falling down Yuuri’s face, and when Nikiforov landed, he did it perfectly.

The execution of his last move in the astonishingly difficult choreography was nailed perfectly, without a single error, his body bending in a curve for the last burst of the ending posture, before the music stopped.

When the top skater let himself breathe again, his cheeks and nose was red, throat and nostrils almost not catching up to the speed of his breathing.

“Viktor!!” suddenly he heard the desired voice so clear as if they were the only ones present for miles and whipped his head towards the source, ocean eyes wide, threatening to start getting filled with tears.

“Yuuri!” he yelled right back at him, forgetting all the gifts on ice behind him, with an incredible speed closing in to his husband.

And when their bodies touched in the sudden hug, chests tightly pressing to each other, Viktor let himself lose it. He started sobbing, clutching the back of his partner’s coat, trying to get even closer than they already were.

“You... how did you make it here?” the pair pulled away from each other only to look into their faces, eyes meeting and creating an entirely different reality between them, it seemed like.

“I’m so proud of you, Vitya.. Я люблю тебя,**” he said with a blush on his cheeks and a terrible accent, but the Russian skater’s eyes just watered even more at that, him jumping into his arms once again.

“Господи, а я тебя как люблю! Напугал меня со своим ушибом, а сам знаешь-ли пришёл всё-таки на муженька посмотреть!***” the word vomit from his husband in foreign language made absolutely no sense to Yuuri as he just confusedly nodded, caught off guard.

“Baby, I’m so glad you’re here..” Viktor finally said in the language that he could understand, with far less volume than everything that’s been said before.

“I just needed to see you live, not on the screen..” murmured Yuuri into his shoulder, “Doctors were against it, but.. here I am,” he laughed nervously, just snuggling in closer into the cloth with his nose.

“But I think if I remain resting at home and I’ll have someone taking care of me, then I wouldn’t need to stay at the hospital during the recovery,” he continued, pulling away to just smile at Viktor.

“Of course, jesus. You’re not staying there but since I’m pretty sure I just won another Grand Prix in my career, we can go anywhere to relax together for a bit,” he answered, getting quieter towards the end of his sentence, his fingers instinctively reaching up for Yuuri’s lower lip and opening his mouth a little, squeezing on the skin.

“Only you and me, honey.. You have to pay me off for not showing up to the competition, “ suddenly Yuuri felt a hand on his back, firm on his ass.

He started blushing, nervously chuckling and just nodding, accepting defeat. After all, he wouldn’t really mind anything that Viktor has probably planned for them to do.

And just like this, Viktor Nikiforov skated back to the ring, towards the pedestal with the winners, stepping onto the first place, soon enough already pressing his lips gently to the gold metal, then meeting brown eyes of his husband, looking at him with his azurites full of love.

*my love

**i love you

***jesus, and how much do i love you! you made me worry with your injury, but of course you came to see your lovely husband perform, right?

[lovingmyselfcore]

Chapter One

Skate Into My Heart -- Solangelo AU

It’s finally here!

In the prologue I said that sectionals came first- I’m sorry part of the internet lied to me. Regionals is first so that’s what’ll be happening here

Bryce was barreling towards him.

Clarisse attempted to take the puck and stop Bryce but today he was chock full of red-hot anger and elbowed her out of his way, swiping at her ankles with his stick.

She barely managed to skate out of his way and yelled, “Lawrence! What’s the matter with you!” 

It seemed to go in one ear and out the other.

He kept the puck close to him, keeping every other player away from him.

And he just kept his course straight to the goal. Straight to Will.

It was a practice game. Didn’t he know that? What was he doing? This wasn’t a big deal.

Bryce was still skating when he shot. It seemed like it was in slow-motion. The puck soared through the air, rising off the ice.

Will dove to block it from entering the goal - which was the wrong move. It hit him square in his chest, with enough force to make Will abruptly lose his breath.

Bryce came to a halt in front of him, spraying Will with ice shards.

“Lawrence, it seemed like that had quite the pent up aggression,” Connor said, while Will caught his breath.

Bryce rolled his eyes, taking off his helmet. “Just cause Solace and the rest of you are weak pussies.”

“Pussies’?” Travis came up behind Connor. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Clarisse only snarled her agreement.

“Guys,” Jason said. “Come on, it’s just Bryce being Bryce.”

Bryce turned to face Jason. “What is that supposed to mean, Grace.”

Jason crossed his arms, his eyes flashing. 

“Why was that the term you picked?” Clarisse asked, her voice low. Dangerous.

“This isn’t helping anything.” Will cut in. “Let’s just leave it. He’ll learn his lesson eventually. Someone will teach him.”

Jason seemed to steel himself, “Yeah. Let’s not fight.”

“Why?” Bryce taunted. “Are you both gay or something?” Will felt his hand twitch, almost curling itself into a fist. Surveying the team, everybody seemed to be holding themselves back.

Will was saved from answering Bryce’s (admittedly, most likely rhetorical, though it was doubtful he knew what that word meant) when he heard someone yell, “Will!”

It was Kayla standing at the edge of the rink. He skated over to her and came to a stop in front of her.

He jumped up to sit on the thick barrier and pull his skates off. “What?” He looked over to see Kayla looking at him with her arms crossed over her chest.

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for ages now. Your mom keeps calling your phone.”

Will went quiet, holding back a curse.

Kayla looked at him sympathetically despite him not saying anything.

“Alright. Thanks.” She patted him on the shoulder as he wove around her.

“Hey, mom,”

“William. Why haven’t you answered me?”

“I’ve been practicing, mom.”

“Practicing for anything in particular?” Her voice was high - too high - he knew this always meant she expected an answer he couldn’t give her.

“Hockey, mom.”

She sighed sadly and he got defensive.

“You know I’m only playing to try and somehow help me get through med school.”

“I know, honey. But still, it’s such a brutish sport, and locker rooms,” He could feel her shudder through the phone. “All the men.”

Will knew better than to probe about what that meant.

It would be easier to get through med school if you let me ask - or even talk - to dad. You and I both know he’d be willing. It is Medical School.

He didn’t say that though, it would only piss her off or make her sad and it just wouldn’t be a good situation. 

After an awkward silence, he saw Jason poke his head into the narrow corridor Will was in. Jason made some frantic, but quiet (ever polite) hand motions.

Will didn’t know if he should be feeling such intense relief, considering Jason’s face was pretty panicked.

“Mom, I’ve got to know. They need me.”

“Okay,” She said hesitantly. “Make sure to study tonight. You’ve got to keep everything fresh. Always.”

He wasn’t even in school yet. (He was trying though). And she wanted him to know everything.

Will didn’t know what he hated more. His mother’s expectations, or Bryce Lawerence. Really, it was a difficult choice.

She hung up before he could say anything.

He jogged over to where Jason was. “C’mon,” Jason said.

While they were walking Jason kept glancing at Will with a concerned expression. “What,” Will said finally, lips quirking into a smile.

“You alright, man? Your facial expressions during that call didn’t seem great.”

Will shrugged dismissively, “Just my mom. You know how that is.”

Jason laughed darkly, “Don’t I.”

“So what’s up,” Will asked, remembering how frantic he’d been.

“Oh, yeah. Um.”

Will grinned, “Spit it out, Grace. I’m a big boy. I can take it.”

Jason snorted. “I need someone to come with me to the figure skating Regionals tonight.”

Will tripped over his own feet but caught himself before he hit the ground.

Jason looked at him with brief worry then just burst out laughing.

“Leave me alone,” But Will was laughing too. “Why?”

“So you know, my sister Thalia,” Will nodded - everybody knew Thalia - “She’s best friends with this woman, Annabeth Chase. They’ve known each other since Annabeth was seven. Old history ya know.”

“So Annabeth’s a skater. She was going to be competing actually. But something awful happened with her boyfriend, he’s across the country. I’m unsure about the details. Thalia left to meet them earlier today, she’s also close with the boyfriend, I guess. So Thals needs me to go because apparently these tickets cost a lot and she doesn’t want them to go to waste.”

Jason’s voice got low like he was sharing a conspiracy nobody knew. “A little secret about me, I appreciate figure skaters.”

Will let out a surprised laugh and made his voice as low as Jason’s, “Me too.”

Jason smiled, “I figured. Which is why I’m inviting you. Thalia had two. One for her, and one for Grover Underwood.”

Will hummed his acknowledgment. “Yeah, dude. Of course, I’ll come. Just tell me time and place.”

Jason pumped his fist in the air.

~~~~~

Jason had told him he would pick him up, so here Will was. Waiting for Jason to arrive. He’d dressed nice (but not too nice) it was a competition after all, and despite how much he’d deny it his mother’s lessons in etiquette had stuck.

Will was texting, sitting on the couch up against the window in his small apartment. He was letting the dying sunlight filter in and light the space. The reds and oranges and yellows made Will look like some sort of deity. It haloed his hair and accentuated the sharp planes of his face. His feet were propped, knees bent, next to him. 

It was a groupchat with Austin, Kayla, and himself. The only way it could be summed up is: chaos.

Kayla: Sooooo

Austin: Yes?

Kayla: Not you

Austin: How dare you

Kayla: Go play your saxophone and feel better

Austin: I will

Austin: Not because you told me to

Kayla: Oh of course not

Will: So that ‘soooo’ was for me, then?

Kayla: Oh yeah

Kayla: Any cutes boys you’ve met recently?

Will: You know that you’d know if I met anybody

Austin: Is there anybody lgbt even at the rink

Will: Oh yeah but nobody I’ve noticed I like

Kayla: :(

Will was startled by a knock on the door. 

“It’s open!” He called, getting off the couch to meet Jason.

~~~ Nico

I slowly sank to a sitting position, feeling the rough brick scrape my back. I knew it would leave noticeable marks but right now, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

I had been stretching and messing around with the others but suddenly my chest had felt very tight.

Hazel had seen the pained expression on my face and made some excuse, letting me slip out the backdoor.

I couldn’t do this.

Saltwater. I tasted salt water.

I couldn’t.

It trickled down my neck.

I couldn’t.

I was so fucking weak.

For so, so many reasons.

I could feel the gradually growing serpent of my anxieties building in the back.

I hadn’t practiced for this enough, and I was going to let everyone down.

The judges were going to find out my most closely guarded secret and-

No. Forget the judges. Everyone was going to find out.

Everyone.

I was probably going to mess up and embarrass myself in one of the biggest competitions of my life.

I was going to let everyone down.

Again. 

I’d found a family and all because I was a fucking failure, I was going to lose them.

I knew I had enough cash in my bag to leave if I had to.

By bag I mean the one I always had:

A change of clothes

Cash for bus tickets

Bottled water and protein bars

A pocket knife.

But it wouldn’t be enough, would it?

I still wouldn’t be able to get away from the shame.

From any of the shame.

Why did I have to be this way? Why

I couldn’t breathe

I couldn’t fucking breathe.

The saltwater ran like a perverted caress down my face and neck and chest.

I shivered involuntarily

“Hey,” The voice was soft, and not familiar.

I turned so quickly half of my face scraped the wall.

We winced in sync.

It was the boy I’d seen in the rink some time ago, the hockey player.

~~~~

Will

“Hey, Jason?”

He looked at me.

We were being jostled through the crowd. There were so many people. So many.

“I need some air. Can you text me our seat numbers?”

He paused and looked at me. At how my eyes flitted around the room and my flinch every time someone ran into me.

“Yeah, of course, dude.” He made shooing motions with his hands, making me snort. He grinned but kept staring at me until I turned around and started pushing my way through the crowd.

I knew I couldn’t go outside the front door, there would be even more people there. So I did something scandalous.

I pushed open the door marked Employees Only and was ejected outside the back of the building. 

I was walking along the wall when I saw movement a few feet away.

It was a boy, pressing himself against the wall like it was simultaneously all that was keeping him alive and like he wanted to fade into it.

“Hey,” I murmured like I was attempting to talk down a tiger.

He turned, scraping his face along the wall. But he didn’t seem to feel it.

He looked like some kind of ghoul, sitting there. The bad lighting from the street lamps washed out his ivory skin, making him look deathly.

Those dark eyes peered at me.

He’d look terrifying, except he appeared too small for his body.

He was shivering, tears running freely down his face.

At the angle he was sitting, it looked like his bones were almost poking out of his skin.

Some sense in me was screaming to help him, and though he looked like the opposite type to accept my help he hadn’t run away either.

I looked him up and down and saw with panic he seemed to be holding his breath, but he didn’t seem to realize it.

I didn’t know who this boy was, besides seeing him occasionally at the rink.

But we were both here and like hell was I going to leave him.

~~~~

Nico

He was looking at me with a look of sympathy. Not pity. Sympathy.

He reached out but I flinched away from him and he let his hand drop.

“Can you breathe?” His voice was serious but caring. I couldn’t really see him, the water in my eyes distorted him but I felt like he was some kind of god. He looked like pure sunlight.

I only shook my head, suddenly feeling the urge to take large gulping breaths.

“Put your head between your knees.”

He didn’t reach for me again, but his fingers twitched like he wanted to.

The surrounding world was a dull roar in my ears. The serpent, who’d been ready to devour me whole, angrily shrank back into the recesses of my brain until I could only see those slit-pupiled eyes. It was only lying in wait. Like always. When I lifted my head, my scowl was back.

Despite the rivulets of saltwater- not tears, I couldn’t call them that - I snarled at him, “Leave me alone. I didn’t ask for your help.”

He raised his hands in surrender, “I’m sorry. I’m not going to tell anyone what happened here, so you don’t have to worry about that. Nico, right?”

I just growled again but he didn’t seem to take the hint. He had a small backpack next to him and he rummaged through it and handed me some tissues and a water bottle.

I raised my eyebrows.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to cross through to go to the bathroom.”

I grudgingly accepted and started wiping at my face after dampening the tissues. He pulled out a small tube of ointment. “Put it on your face, okay? The scrape is not that bad. But it can’t hurt.”

I just stared blankly at him and he laid it next to me with a smile.

He waved, a little awkwardly, as he walked away.

As I stared at the ointment and the tissues and water I could only come up with one coherent thought:

What the fuck

~~~~ Will

His phone pinged with a message from Jason. After a few seconds of searching, he found it in his small backpack. He distractedly glanced over the text.

Jason: We’re in row A, seats 5 and 6. Thalia got us right up front.

Will: Sounds good

Will: I’ll head there now

He slipped his phone back into his bag.

He really hoped Nico was okay. He was a figure skater and most likely is competing tonight, and Will had never seen him in action but he was almost positive they would need him.

“Hey!” Jason waved to him from their seats and Will slid in next to him.

“You okay?” Jason asked after Will got settled. “You looked pretty uncomfortable.”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I’m okay. I’m not normally like that but something about that environment.” He shuddered. “Anyway, everything’s good now.”

Jason nodded with a smile.

Will surveyed the rink. It was nicer than their rinks back at the studio which was saying something.

He spotted the judge's podium, on a small platform slightly above the rink. There were five judges, none of them looking like they entirely wanted to be here and all of them looking like they would throttle whoever came out.

Not only did the judges look unhappy, but about half of the crowd also did too. They were all shifting like they were here, but there was somewhere else they’d rather be. Why come then?

Will couldn’t imagine being one of the skaters in the locker rooms right now, he’d probably throw up.

“First up!” The booming voice of the announcer made Will jump slightly in his seat.

“The singles competition,” He drawled. “From Crescent City…”

Will tuned him out as he watched the woman glide out onto the ice. She was really good and kept most of the crowd entranced, but Will also had an eye on the judges. Only a few of them seemed impressed but only one seemed bored, which most likely was a good thing for her.

“From Olympus Ice,”

Jason and Will leaned forward at the same time.

“Nico Di Angelo!”

Will felt himself clapping as soon as his name was announced.

Nico seemed to magically appear on the ice, looking significantly more confident than the last time he’d seen him.

He appeared to take a deep breath and steel himself before beginning his routine. It was magic. Pure magic.

The way he flew made it look like he’d been born to do this.

It was elegant, but, in a way, suspenseful. Like he could do something unexpected at any moment.

Will was frozen, lips slightly parted as Nico made everyone believe he owned the rink.

He wove a story with his fluid movements, a story that held Will captive.

He attempted a move that never in Will’s wildest dreams could he do, everyone watched as he spun with bated breath and cheered when he landed but the skater in Will recognized that he hadn’t done it. He almost did, and he definitely caught himself, but he hadn’t done it.

And if those judges were worthy at all for their position, they would know too.

Nico finally slid to a stop in front of the judges, his arms crossed over his chest and his chin tilted upward, challenging them to mention the slip-up.

It was quite a scene. He looked almost ethereal and they were all sitting (or standing in Nico’s case) looked like something out of a painting.

Later, after the other singles and the partners and the ensembles, the audience was still, waiting for the announcement.

“The 1st place winner, and who will be going to Sectionals is…

Olympus Ice!” People burst into applause but Will was only staring at Nico who was standing with his team, a barely-there smile present on his face, but enough to make Will whisper, “Wow,”

Jason glanced at him, then at where he was staring. “Don’t do that, Will. No figure skaters. You know that.”

Will rolled his eyes and scoffed,  “I would never.”

Jason sighed and smiled, “Good.”

[shwazzberryswriting]

Queen of the Grind

Pairing: Jungwoo x Original Female Character|Reader

Genre: Meet-Cute, Fluff, AU - Pro Skater Taeyong

Word count: 1.9k

Rating/Warnings: No Rating/Jungwoo gets hurt at one point but nothing serious outside of a few scrapes

Prompt: *Must be about Jungwoo *Use these words (random word generator): -judgement -therapist -benefit

Author’s Note: When I was trying to think of what to write with this prompt, an image of Jungwoo flirting with a skater really took off in my head so this is the result. Thanks for reading!

---------

    “Please, Queen of the Grind, can I skate here?” Taeyong asked in a defeated tone, running his hand through his neon blue colored hair. He squinted his eyes as he took his sunglasses off, the rays from the morning sun blinding him for a moment.

    He stopped in his tracks as a woman stood beside the entrance gate at Westchester Skate Plaza, her arms crossed over her chest. He was at the mercy of the girl he’d dumped in middle school. Keona was standing before him, stone faced. Her lip ring had a diamond stud in it that dangled at the corner of her bottom left lip, and she’d grown her hair long enough to have a thick braid down her back.

    “We don’t do things like that anymore,” she replied, her violet colored lips breaking out into a smile. “No judgment, all love. I’m excited to see you!”

    He gave a relieved smile. “Distance does make the heart grow fonder.”

    They hugged each other, and he picked her up into his arms as he spun her around for a few moments. Despite having not seen each other for half a decade, Keona and Taeyong interacted like siblings, teasing each other all the while laughing together.

    “Is it true that you’re the biggest deal in Asia? Or just in Japan?”

    “I’m a big deal in Korea!” he said, shoving her hand away since she’d begun to pinch his cheek. “Let’s not talk business? I want to skate. I miss LA.”

    “Taeyong!” a guy Keona had never seen before shouted as he ran over to the entrance with a couple skateboards in his arms. He was tall with long limbs, and a bright smile that radiated with warmth.

    “Your assistant?” she asked Taeyong.

    “My friend.” Taeyong threw his neon green sunglasses on and began stretching.

    “On flow?”

    She did jumping jacks before copying Taeyong’s stretches. He looked like he had picked up on some good stretches, like an actual pro. She groaned as she stretched her arms out and felt her shoulder blades cracking and popping.

    “He’s a newbie. Fast learner.”

    “His limbs probably go flying everywhere.”

    Taeyong’s friend turned his head over to look at her, and gave her a gentle smile. He tilted his head before breaking eye contact to turn his head over to watch the group of middle school age skaters nearby working on their kickflips. She grinned as he began cheering the skaters on by shouting, “Yeah!” when one of the kids landed a perfect kickflip.

    “He’s really taken a liking to it.”

    “Taeyong!” his friend called out his name again as he approached them. “Are we going to meet your Cutie Pie?”

    “Cutie Pie?” Keona laughed. Taeyong gave a guffaw, rushing over to ruffle his friend’s light brown hair. His friend smiled, and glanced at Keona, his big brown eyes and slightly vacant expression reminded her of a puppy.

    “Keona,” Taeyong said, throwing his arm over her shoulder, “this is Jungwoo. Jungwoo, this is Keona. She is not named Cutie Pie.”

    “I’m so happy to meet you,” Jungwoo said to Keona. “Taeyong said you knew all the best spots when you were kids.”

    “Honestly, we only found out about the good skate spots because Taeyong was so good.”

    “She was grinding rails all the time!” Taeyong threw out, grabbing his board and riding off to the half pipe. “You’ll benefit from hanging out with Keona! Teach him how to ollie, Ke!”

    This wasn’t the first time Taeyong had found a new student for Keona to take under her wing. She didn’t mind it, but she did wish he’d give her a head’s up. Jungwoo seemed comfortable as they walked together.

    “Jungwoo, you can’t ollie?”

    “I did it once,” he replied, suddenly looking shy as he avoided her eye contact. His voice had turned a little soft. “The fall hurt too much. I’ll never do it again.”

    Keona got on her board and watched Jungwoo skate. He had good control as he glided around obstacles with ease. He didn’t do many tricks but riding on a board seemed enough for him. He built up speed and greeted people as he rode past them. She went along with him, not too bothered about turning their hangout into a training lesson. As they approached some teens working on grinding onto a ledge, Keona cheered them on.

    “Great build up, Sulia!” She clapped as the 17-year-old jumped with her board to slide it onto a ledge. Sulia’s landing was a little rough and she slipped off her board. She jumped aside to avoid falling and hurting herself. Her friends cheered and encouraged her to give it another go. Jungwoo and Keona joined in on the clapping before skating past the teens. She jumped in the air with her board, showing off a basic ollie trick.

    “Are you sure you don’t want to learn how to ollie?” she asked.

    She looked over her shoulder to see Jungwoo brushing his hair out of his eyes. He tried mimicking her by kicking down on the nose of his board with his back leg to help catapult the board into the air, but failed his landing. He fell forward as his board slid away from him. Keona stepped off her board, and walked over to help Jungwoo up.

    “Let me clean up your hands,” she said immediately.

    Both of his palms were skinned with bits of rubble digging deep enough to draw blood and he groaned. He winced as he stood up straight. She made no comment at his cheeks flushing pink, and instead asked him if he wanted to go to 7-11 for slushie and nachos. He seemed incapable of speaking, and she patted his arm as they sat down on the blue plastic picnic table under the shade of a large palm tree.

    “I busted my knee open and I had to hobble around for about 2 weeks the first time I tried to ollie,” she said, carefully removing the loose rubble and cleaning Jungwoo’s palms with a Wet Wipe. “If you want to see, I still have a scar on my left knee. I also learned that day that I need to carry a First Aid Kit with me at all times. I’m always like the first person to help people clean up their injuries. Last week there was a group of kids who all kept scraping their knees and shins I almost ran out of bandaids.”

    She sprayed his palms with an antiseptic spray to help numb the pain and kill germs. Bending over slightly as she held his wrists in her hands, she blew onto his palms gently to speed up the drying. He cleared his throat and she glanced up to make eye contact with him. His lips were curved up slightly, and his eyes shifted down to her neck. She smiled to herself, feeling herself blush as she began ripping bandaids out of their package.

    “Do you think people get hurt just to get a moment to be with you?” he asked as she placed clear plastic bandaids over his cuts.

    She looked up at him, and returned the sweet smile he was giving her. His eyes seemed incapable of leaving her lips as he kept looking at her. If he wanted to flirt, she was down. She placed her legs on either side of the bench they were seated on, mirroring him, and slid forward closer to Jungwoo. Their knees touched, and he gave a soft, shy chuckle.

    “You want to hang out with just you and me?” she asked, throwing her arms over his shoulders, leaning forward so that her face was less than an inch away from his. “Let’s get some nachos.”

    Given that 7-11 was only a couple blocks away, they walked to 7-11 together, and got some of the cheap nachos with the hot melted cheese and lots of jalapeños. They were going to eat in the parking lot but Jungwoo saw a KFC nearby and asked to get some fried chicken.

    “Thank you for treating me to this food,” Jungwoo said as they sat next to each other at a booth in the KFC. He’d hooked a finger onto the belt loop of her jeans and tugged on it gently when she had tried to walk over to sit across from him.

    “I want to make sure you’re happy after that awful fall,” she said as she sidled closer to him. His finger still hooked onto her jeans indicated that she wasn’t close enough. Once her leg was pressed against his, he seemed satisfied and released her jeans.

    “This does make me feel better, thank you,” he said before taking a sip from his drink.

    “Allow me?” she offered, picking up a cheese covered chip and directing it to Jungwoo’s mouth. “I don’t want you to get your hands dirty. I’ll feed you.”

    “You’re taking such good care of me,” he said softly after she fed him a chicken tender.

    He kept tilting his head and changing up the ways he’d glance at her. Sometimes his eyes would go big and he’d smile brightly, but most times he was looking at her with his eyes half closed and smirked, like he had a few dirty secrets just on the tip of his tongue. He was waiting for the right time to reveal those dirty words.

    When they’d left the park, she’d been hungry, but she could barely drink her strawberry slushie sitting next to Jungwoo. Her insides were squirming around as he reached over and wiped the corners of her lips with a napkin.

    “You’ve barely eaten,” he said, taking note that her tray of nachos was still nearly full. “You should eat. It’s all very good.”

    She smiled as she blushed. It was sweet that he noticed that she hadn’t been eating. Though she struggled to have any sort of appetite, she ate most of her food since Jungwoo kept encouraging her to eat with him. She refused to let Jungwoo feed himself, but he didn’t seem to object much. They took their time eating, and talking.

    “So why did Taeyong dump you?” he asked when he was nearly finished with his fried chicken. She chuckled.

    “We were 12. I didn’t understand what it meant to have a boyfriend. All I knew was that Taeyong asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes. When I told him that he didn’t have to be my boyfriend to skate with me we agreed just to be friends. He likes stretching the truth.”

    “How come you didn’t go pro with him?”

    “I love to skate, but I always wanted to teach kids how to read and write so being a teacher’s always been my dream. Taeyong would sleep in the parks with his board in the summers. Skating has always been like Taeyong’s therapist, or something on that level. How did you become friends with Taeyong? Neither of you have told me.”

    “We did a campaign together for Nike.”

    “So are you an athlete or a model?”

    “Fashion model. Taeyong taught me how to skate during our shoot.”

    “And you’ve been skating since?”

    He nodded and gave her a side glance, the corner of his lips curving slightly. Feeling her cheeks turn warm, she took a sip of her slushie.

    Once they made it back to the park, Jungwoo threw his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder. They were seated next to each other, and she threw her hand up to touch his hair.

    “You’re so comfortable, Keona,” he said, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder.

    “Get too comfortable and you might not be able to let me go,” she warned before kissing his cheek. He laughed and she saw him blush before returning to rest his head on her shoulder.

[junko-and-riri-domain]

push and pulls | ot7

↬ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader ↬ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: fluff | requested | headcannon (paragraph form) ↬ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: none ↬ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ: anon ↬ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛ ᴡᴀs: “cat and dog relationship with classmate!enhypen ? hehe headcannon or any format that you're comfy with :3  they could be highschool sweethearts in the end too 😭” ↬ ᴀ/ɴ:

i tried i'm sorry if this sucks 🤧

jake and jay’s are are like semi-suggestive (i think?) imma just say that they are semi-suggestive to be safe

i aint gonna lie i’m a sucker for Jay cooking 😪

jake & hoon’s are kinda short bc it’s like 1 am rn 

Heeseung

Heeseung has always been good at everything no matter what it is. It isn’t to discredit any of his effort whatsoever, but as the school year continues everyone knows that things are just natural for Heeseung. Ever since your freshman year of high school, you’ve seen him as your main competition for 1st place in school. The problem? This man isn’t even aware of it. To you, he just breathes and wins the competitions, gets all the attention, and is at the top of everything. To him, it’s the only way you’ll even notice him. The competitions? It gives him a chance to stay after school to be with you. The attention? He’s only focused on yours. Him at the top of everything? Well, that one’s just because he’s Lee Heeseung. It’s after school one day and the both of you have stayed to help clean up the classes for extra credit. Like a thief with a bagful of stolen glances, his eyes drift to you whenever you don’t notice. Except for this one time.

“Stop looking at me!” you say, your eyes glaring at him. He’s taken aback as he never meant to offend you.

“Sorry,” he said, thinking that you’d just leave it at that. But instead,

“I know you’re fricking judging me Lee Heeseung.”

“What?”

“I can feel it in your eyes. I’ll always be second to you and I get it, you don’t need to rub it in, so just stop!” You throw the rag at the window, walking out of the classroom and he’s left alone wondering what the hell just happened. And suddenly the gap between first place and second begins to grow. To him, staying after school to study for competitions are no longer fun when you won’t even tell him to be quiet when he starts to sing. Your attention is gone just like his sanity. Being at the top never felt so lonely when you weren’t next to him. To you, staying after school becomes something you dread because of the silence in the room that you caused. Your attention seems as if it’s on everything but him but every day you have a hundred thoughts and all of them are infected with him. The two of you enter yet another school competition, making it to the top 3. Yet, unlike previous times, neither of you is in first place.

“In first place, we have Sim Jaeyun!” the announcer says. You and Heeseung look at each other in shock that the other wasn’t on the podium. Yet, you couldn’t care less. Because not getting first place causes you to go off on a rant that Heeseung joins in on. Staying after school turns into study partners at the nearby cafe which becomes study dates. Both of your attention is openly on the other. And while you’re both at the top academically, you become the couple goals everyone wishes they could achieve.

“ace of my heart 💞” you caption an Instagram post of a picture of Heeseung.

rest of the boys under the cut!

Jay

Culinary class is peaceful for Jay. He has control of everything, knows where the ingredients and cooking tools are, can do something he loves, and did we mention control of everything? As a chef, he learned what you were like the first few weeks of class. You were messy with apple peels next to the lime squeezer, engaging in a way of cooking that you defined as “organized chaos.” You didn’t use measurements, cooked things by eye, and used whatever seasonings felt right. It wasn’t that you were bad at cooking, he actually enjoyed your dishes. But your process was just something he couldn’t stand. And maybe he doesn’t really like you since you accidentally used the last of his honey when making cupcakes but that’s a story for another day. The culinary teacher decided to try something new to promote teamwork and for a week, the class would be in partners and cooking a dish new to both people. And who did Jay just have to end up with? You. As the two of you read the recipe for your first dish which was a dessert of sorts,

“What do you wanna use first, jackfruit or durian?” he asked. You looked up at him, a teasing smile on your lips,

“Durian, because it looks like you,” you said before making your way to the table where all the ingredients were.

“Inner peace,” he muttered to himself as he watched you walk off. The next day, you were making peach tarts.

“Yah, Jay, look here,” you said as you held up your phone and the peach. In the photo you took, the peach was next to Jay’s face, sort of comparing the two.

“Why’d you take a picture of me?” he asked. He didn’t really mind photos, knowing full well how good he looked but you taking one of him came completely out of the blue. As you glanced up from your phone after hitting post, you were unable to stop your laugh,

“Your hair looks like a peach,” you said with a wink as you went back to cutting the ingredients.

“Do I just, do I just look like food now?” he muttered to himself with a huff.

“I mean… I wouldn’t mind eating you,” you teased. You were smooth, he’d give you that. But, damn, he wanted to make you feel the way you were making him feel right now.

It didn’t take long for you to learn that Jay’s way of teasing made you flustered as hell. If you’d ask him to hand you something, he’d hold it above your head forcing you to have to jump up. It just so happened that he did this once right in front of someone else’s station and as you jumped, you almost knocked into them which led to his arm around you,

“Watch where you’re going,” he warned with a teasing edge as he handed you the carrots.

When you handed him something, he’d take it in a way that his hand held yours for a second but that second was enough. As the two of you cooked together, you entered your own world with no one else but the other in it. He was patient with your organized chaos, his own habits finding a place alongside your cooking routine. For the last day of working as partners, you two were to bake cookies. You put in a pinch of salt then some sugar when suddenly,

“YAH!” you hear from next to you. Met with Jay’s wide eyes as he looked in the bowl where you put the salt and sugar,

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I told you to taste the salt and sugar before you used it.”

“The first one tasted like salt so I put more of the second one.” He took a pinch of the sugar already in the mixing bowl then tasted it, a disgusted look appearing on his face”

“You put salt then more salt, good job y/n.”

“Huh?” He took another pinch then brought it up to your lips and as you tasted it,

“Why the hell is there two kinds of salt here!”

“One’s fine, the other’s coarse. I wanted to eat these y’know.”

“Fine, head over to my place after school and we can make cookies together.”

“That’s not funny. You can’t mess with cookies,” he muttered.

“Who said I was joking? We can even drizzle honey over it.”

Jake

Perfection doesn’t even begin to describe Sim Jaeyun. A gentleman, kind, smart, has an accent that you can’t help but sometimes tease him about, and obsessed with Layla were all things you couldn’t fault him for. But sometimes, just sometimes, he could be a little too nice. You couldn’t help but feel jealous at the sight of the girl chatting with Jake by the benches and her feeling his arm up.

“Geez, tell her to go away!” you wanted to say to him as you started walking towards them.

“Hey,” Jake said with a smile as his eyes landed on you. The same smile he smiled at her with.

“Are you ready to go?” you asked, trying not to sound pissed but couldn’t help yourself.

“Yeah hold up.” Jake looked at the girl, “Just text if you need help with anything else on the homework,” he said before walking off with you.

“Who was that?” you asked as the two of you made your way to the cafeteria.

“New girl, needs help with physics so she asked me for help.” Jake was supposed to help you with physics.

“You gonna help her on Tuesdays?” you asked, referring to the day Jake always helped you. If he did notice your jealousy, he didn’t say anything about it. Oh, but he did notice. And he kind of wanted to edge it on to see how far things would go.

“Should I? She can hangout with me and Layla.”

“See if she likes me better than Layla.”

“Might take you up on the offer, watch your words, y/n,” he said with a chuckle.

“Yeah? You introduce her to Layla and I’ll divorce you then take full custody.”

“I didn’t know we were married, don’t we gotta go out on a date first?”

“I don’t know, do we?”

“Let’s do it right now then.”

“Fine! Wait what-?”

Sunghoon

On the ice, you and Sunghoon went together like sugar and tea. Off the ice, you two were like the coarse salt that ruined the cookies in Jay’s fic. You and Sunghoon skated well together, putting on a performance that typically got you first place, but that’s exactly what it was. A performance. An act. Nothing more, nothing less. Neither of you talked when you saw each other after practice the next day at school. Neither of you actively told anyone that you knew each other more than most couples did. But there was just something about talking to Sunghoon outside of ice skating, acknowledging that there you had an ice skating persona as well as the persona you showed to everyone else, that frightened you. So both of you made an unspoken agreement that you’d keep your ice skater lives in the rink and outside of it. Except for right now where the transfer student who coincidentally just so happened to be an ice skater and was wondering if you’d be his partner for the upcoming showcase.

“Y/n already has a partner,” Sunghoon said, cutting in as he stood next to you. The transfer student’s eyes settled on Sunghoon,

“You’re Park Sunghoon, the guy who-”

“Almost made it into the Olympics? Yeah. And y/n and I are gonna do it together this year.” You weren’t quite sure how to feel about Sunghoon suddenly “claiming” you (not in a toxic way whatsoever, we don’t condone that here). But you did know that this meant Sunghoon knew of your existence outside of the rink.

“Says who?” you said, trying to see how this would go. He looked at you, fear flashing in his eyes at the thought of the two of you not doing this together.

“I thought, I thought we were? Are we not? We have our outfits planned and everything.”

“I mean… plans change, Hoon.” That nickname, the one only you were allowed to use for him.

“Do you not wanna do it together?”

“I’m just gonna… go,” the transfer student said.

“I do wanna do it together.”

“So then what’s the problem?”

“We kinda don’t have a relationship outside of the rink, Hoon.”

“We can make one, then. Right now.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

Sunoo

You’ve always held a level of jealousy towards Sunoo. Sunoo has always been the guy who’s everyone’s friend even if he’s popular, the type of guy who waves at everyone, greets them with a smile on their face, and gets people to attend class/school events. Whereas you’re more on the introverted side, not really liking people. When it’s lunchtime, you tend to eat alone not really giving a damn about everyone else. You’re not exactly an outcast, just more comfortable  by yourself. You’ve always been jealous of how Sunoo’s open to people, talkative, and just overall likable. Because unlike him, people think you’re being mean when you’re quiet and it looks like you’re not listening to whatever it is they’re saying. Around school, Sunoo has earned the nickname Sunny while you’ve been given the nickname Winter. Everyone sees how you walk away whenever Sunoo waves at you in the halls. Everyone is aware of how you scoff whenever Sunoo does aegyo in front of you. Everyone notices how you get mad whenever he links his arm with yours. But it’s Sunoo who sees the glint in your eyes the second they meet his by your locker. It’s Sunoo who notices the slight smile that plays at the corner of your lips whenever he calls himself “ddeonu.” And it’s Sunoo who’s aware that no matter how much you protest when your arms link, you’re never the one to let go first. So he sits at the desk in front of yours during lunch, chatting his butt off about his day while stealing bites of your lunch. He gives you face masks with the excuse of “it was a buy one get one free deal and I don’t know who else to give it to.” He asks if he can style your hair playing it off as “practice.” Little by little, you begin to open up. When you see him in the halls, you start to give him a smile reserved only for him. When he does aegyo you tease him by saying that Jake does it better. And when he links his arms with yours, your pinkies intertwine. You bring an extra bag of chips for lunch and start making your portions larger to share with him. You invite him to the mall since you saw an online promo while walking by. You start to enjoy the way he plays with your hair, sometimes even craving his touch. Because we all know, the sun has its way of melting ice. 

Jungwon

Yang Jungwon, the class president, has a 100% success rate in getting field trip forms submitted on time. Well, it would be 100% if it weren’t for you. It seems as if you’ve made it your life’s mission to do everything and anything that’ll piss off Jungwon. Every time there’s a permission slip that needs to get signed, he constantly finds himself having to remind you of it so that it’d get turned in on time. Yet despite this, you always turn it in a day later. When things are kind of slow in class, you’re always talking to someone and have earned the title of the chatty kid no matter where the teacher makes you sit. Jungwon has no clue how someone as big of a procrastinator as you, always chatting with people when you don’t need to, and has your music playing so loud that everyone else hears, gets the good grades that you do. But regardless of what you do, you don’t bring down the class average so he’ll give you that. It’s time for a new seating arrangement and where does the teacher have you sit? Right next to him. So he’s dreading it, knowing that for the next 2 weeks he won’t get any work done, have to deal with you chatting to everyone, and has to be the one to catch you up when you enter class late.

“Hey,” you say with a smile as you settle in the seat next to his. He likes your smile, he won’t lie. But you’re annoying as hell. One week goes by as a back and forth of you constantly making efforts to get on Jungwon’s nerves but he returns the favor while teasing you back. With the two of you as partners, he starts to notice some things about you. Things like how you play with your thumb before raising your hand to answer the question. He sees that your notes are full of rushed scribbles and you dot your i’s close to the center but not just there. Your binder is covered with artwork of things you like and photos of you and your friends. Amidst your chattiness and tardiness, he finds himself looking forwards to certain things. He looks forward to your messy hair as you rush in 15 minutes late and start scribbling your notes in an effort to catch up. He looks forwards to how your conversations become a distraction from lectures. And he wonders to himself, what it’d be like if he were a photo in your binder.

As the second week continues, you start to see things differently with Jungwon. His reminders become less annoying and more useful as you take it in mind. When you’re late, he already has a second copy of the notes waiting for you on your desk. He buys you stickers for your binder using the excuse of “I stole it from my sister.” Before either of you realize it, it’s time for a new seating chart.

“Guess you’re happy to get rid of me, Wonie,” you joke as the two of you stood up to head to your new seats.

“I want you to sit across from me,” you hear him say.

“Huh?”

“At the Eggy Cafe on our first date,” he says before heading to his new seat.

Ni-ki

Dance class, it’s exhausting. Countless hours spent practicing a choreography that only lasts for a few minutes. Constantly getting yelled at by your teacher when you take a wrong step. Continuously in an unspoken competition with the best dancer of the school, Nishimura Riki. Ni-ki fools around during practices, usually to get on your nerves. Whenever you buy bungeoppang at the stall in front of the school, half of it instantly belongs to Ni-ki as he takes a bite when you’re not looking. Whenever the two of you are the only ones who’ve got the choreography down, sometimes you’ll slow things down to piss him off. There’s a flow to Ni-kis dances that no one else can replicate, a flow he was born with and can never be taught. Everyone, including him, is aware of this. But you’ve always been different from everyone else. All his life, he’s been told how good at dancing he is but you criticize him. While the others applaud his performance, your eyes are watching his every move. He almost hates how well you can spot the mistakes he can’t even see on himself. But as time goes on, these little competitions start to develop between you two, even outside of dance. When dance class ends, the two of you race to see who’ll get to the bungeoppang stall first. Last one there pays for bungeoppang. This is the competition you let Ni-ki win, using “I’m already tired from dancing” as an excuse. In the mornings, you compete to get to first period. Loser pays for lunch. This is the competition where there’s a middle ground between you two. Sometimes you win, sometimes he wins, other times you enter class together. When walking home, you compete to get to the bottom of the stairs at the subway station first. Whoever loses has to carry the other’s bag until you get home. Ni-ki lets you win this one, using “If I ran any faster I’d trip,” as an excuse. These small competitions become the things you look forward to throughout the week, enjoying the thrill of small moments with Ni-ki. At one point, the two of you (on separate occasions) talked to Jungwon about the competitions, telling your side. To the both of you, he says the same thing. “Why don’t you see who asks the other out first and plans the better date?”

❦ written by riri (@enhykkul)  | blog masterlist

requests are currently open! rules can be found here | anon emojis

[houseplant-central]

Yuri Katsuki does a better, more nuanced job of the "clumsy girl" trope than any female character I've ever seen

I will start this off by saying that I DO NOT think the 2016 anime about figure skating "Yuri!!! On Ice" is in any way "good cinema". It's 90% fanservice, fetishization of mlm relationships, and one 16 year old antagonist/ comic relief character being way over-sexualized (Plisetsky, where are your parents?)*.

It has some problems to say the least and I'm certainly not here to hype it up as an example of good writing or an example of good representation.

HOWEVER, Yuri Katsuki's character (the main character of the show) does an interesting thing by very closely conforming to what I would describe as the stereotype of the "clumsy girl".

My childhood and teen years were FULL of "makeover stories". Of narratives in which a nerdy, clumsy, bookish girl gets a makeover by the popular kids, gets contacts instead of glasses, and suddenly becomes a member of this societal elite, escaping former bullying. From the music video for "Last Friday Night" by Katy Perry, to (the classic) Mean Girls, to the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, to the Heather's Musical (although Heather's pokes a bit of fun at this trope and how popularity might not work out for you), narratives about a dorky girl who suddenly gets swept up by somebody popular and "taught" how to "be" popular permeated my youth.

Besides just giving my entire generation the incorrect impression that glasses had to be taken off in order of the makeover to be complete, these stories had the strange reverse effect of appealing to girls who felt like they were the "before" of the makeover. If Bella Swan, self described as "too clumsy to play badminton without sustaining an injury" and "too awkward to have friends" could be swept off her feet by the hottest vampire in town because he saw something in her, then there was hope for the rest of us. This sort of idea of "potential" untapped permeates the genre, because the clumsy girl was always pretty, she just needed to take off her glasses, put on some makeup, and gain some self-confidence.

The concept of "untapped potential" is also quite prevalent in the world of sports anime. Again, this makes sense, since a story about a winning athlete just continuing to win would be boring, so naturally works within this genre often start with the athlete at their lowest, and then follow them on their journey to a comeback or newfound fame. The mentor character who gives the athlete life-changing advice is also a staple, and it's easy to see how that mentor character might be similar to Regina George holding the makeup brush in "Mean Girls".

However, the creators of "Yuri on Ice" seemed to want their (questionably fetishizing) romance to over conform to the genre standards so they drop-kicked the mentor character archetype out the window and had Yuri's dreamy coach do much more makeover-ing than athlete-training. Some of this rests at the intersection of the fact that the sport of choice in the series is figure-skating, where your image matters quite a lot, and Viktor being implied to be in love with our fair protagonist Yuri**, but neither of these aspects fully explain how well the writers made this sports anime series fit into the "makeover" genre instead of the "sports anime" genre.

But back to Yuri Katsuki himself. In the first episode, we see him crying in a bathroom. We learn that he has serious issues with self-confidence in his sport and his personal life, and that this materializes in insecurity about his weight. Episode one Yuri fits nearly every aspect of the "clumsy girl" trope: he's socially awkward, quiet, and... well, clumsy. He narrates a lot of the first episode with his own voice, saying he's "a dime a dozen skater" and "totally awkward", a kind of self-narration reminiscent of Bella Swan. While the other characters are dressed in modern clothes, Yuri's in an oversized, comfortable sweater, and has a generally very outdated wardrobe. He doesn't seem to care about how the world perceives him, (or more likely won't make an effort because he's afraid of rejection). Were he a female character, this is what I would call the "not like other girls" trope. We immediately elevate him to a pedestal as the viewers because he's relatable, and in comparison, the other characters seem to be trying too hard. While this is not as prevalent in male characters from the time (because the other male characters surrounding them are rarely well dressed except for maybe one jock the viewers are supposed to hate), it's hard to find a piece of media between 2014 and 2016 with a female lead without this opposition of "main character can't dress but all other female characters are well dressed, clearly they're try-hards." (Ironic, because that main character is about to be well dressed after their makeover, but I digress).

(Yes, this is an issue that's been in media for a long time and will be for a long time still, and yes there are plenty of good examples of stories where the male main character is just "not like other boys" and has to compete in a world where the other boys are all well dressed, but cases of writers doing this to their female characters SKYROCKETED in the few years while I was a younger teen and it was slightly ridiculous).

Anyways, Yuri is insecure and undressed. But he has a heart of gold! Who can help?

Enter mentor character Viktor (who is.... very naked for some reason. Mitsurou Kubo, was that really necessary to subject my eyeballs to?). Viktor is the epitome of high class. He's good-looking, rich, and successful at his sport, and we're told that Yuri has personally idolized him for a long time. While not exactly a Regina George, he does present his offer to help Yuri in a way that implies that Yuri would be a fool not to accept his help; he's the best of the best and he knows it, he's used to hearing it.

Over the next few episodes Yuri is basically forced into a position acting outside his comfort zone preforming a figure skating routine called "Eros". There's a weird but somewhat comedic moment where a frazzled Yuri, hard-pressed to explain what the concept of eros means to him, says that eros means his favourite food, pork katsudon. While comedic, it is to me the very epitome of "clumsy girl": while other female characters might be alluring in their experience, the clumsy girl is appealing to the love interest and appealing to the male gaze because she doesn't "get it", she's not tangled up in the politics of sex like many female characters are written to be, she's different. (I could talk for hours about how problematic this aspect of the "clumsy girl" trope is, the implication that childishness/ lack of experience is attractive is so gross, but I will spare you).

As a whole, this fanservicy nonsense is fairly par for the course, but it's two aspects of the journey to completing the "Eros" program that interests me. We see him eventually go to his friend, who is a dance teacher, and ask her for help on how to move more femininely. This in part is a nod towards his future realization of his sexuality (or not, depending on whether you watched it before or after they retconed his and Viktor's relationship). But as his dance teacher friend shows him how to move with confidence, he fulfills one of the first steps of getting the clumsy girl makeover: somebody shows him how to move in a "sexy" way, and he is miraculously no longer clumsy. The other thing about this figure skating program is his literal makeover: as Regina George had given to Katy before them, Viktor gives Yuri one of his old outfits, which symbolizes the high-class and success that he's supposedly preparing Yuri for. Yuri switches his glasses for contacts (an iconic aspect of the trope), slicks back his hair, and is suddenly more confident.  

As the show progresses Yuri gains more confidence, symbolized not just by his body language but also by his clothing and presentation. He meets a fan of his and has a character changing moment when he realizes that he has a fan who idolizes him like he once idolized Viktor. This realization of new societal power is often a turning point for the clumsy girl finally feeling like she has self-worth, and indeed, Yuri immediately ties a new sense of self-worth to the knowledge that he has fans.

After quite a lot of figure skating animation, fanservice, and a weird subplot about a poodle, Yuri finds a sense of self-worth in the life he's building for himself as a member of "high society" and leader in his sport, no longer relying on outside validation. This, I think is the part that differs from other clumsy girl stories.

Why is this interesting? I think because I'm so very used to seeing female characters get shallow character development in the form of taking their glasses off, letting their hair down, and suddenly being hot, and male characters getting character development in the form of working out in a montage to the eye of the tiger and then getting hot. Despite Yuri basically only doing what female characters often do to become "popular" and no longer nerdy, his character development feels genuine, fuller, and less shallow. For him, his new look genuinely ties to internal character development, whereas in media with women it's usually all about the looks, and the assumption that a changed style must equal a changed character.

Bella Swan from Twilight, Katy from Mean Girls, and Veronica from Heathers all experienced a makeover and new look and implied character development because of a rise in social status (whether they asked for it or not), but ultimately all of them realized the popularity was not what was important to them and they went back to how they "looked" before to symbolize their identity and values shifting back to what they were at the beginning. Yuri ends the series in the fanciest suit we've seen him in yet, dancing with Viktor and excited about the prospects his new high-society life will present him with. His transformation into being self-confident is genuine, and his changing appearance was just a reflection of that internal transformation. Ultimately, I think this plotline is what the original genre of "clumsy girl gets makeover was aiming for", because it is what's most appealing to the viewer: genuine growth and happiness. But all the female "clumsy girl" stories I've seen fell flat of that in one way or another, leading me to very much dislike the trope until "Yuri on Ice" quite accidentally did a good job of it.

* to anyone who's seen this show: yes, I do know what is implied to have happened to Yurio's parents. I'm just a) quoting that vine where the kid goes "wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy" and the reporter goes "where are your parents?" and b) I'm mad that this over-sexualization of Yurio (even within the plot of the series) is something that happens relentlessly to young female characters who've "carved out a place for themselves in an adult world" and also apparently happens to effeminate (implied to be queer) male characters who have done the same thing, and that's not cool either.

**For the sake of my sanity I'll say implied, because though they kiss onscreen, there is apparently much room for debate. The original Japanese cut had them exchange engagement rings near the end of the series, but then both the Japnese version and the English dubbed version ended up having them show off their rings and say "look at our friendship rings". (Ah yes, because I love wearing a matching gold band on my left ring finger with my buddy to show the world what good homies we are (/sarcasm.))

As an interesting aside, in an Uno reverse card moment, the "clumsy girl" trope was made for the male gaze (proof: any trope that talks that much about women putting on less clothing and suddenly becoming hot is 1000% for the male gaze), and was accidentally latched onto by teenage girls. Yuri on Ice was made for the teenage girl gaze (proof: the fetishization of queer men, the pre-existing "boy love" genre that's so popular it has a name), and accidentally fell into the trope of the "clumsy girl".

[oveliagirlhaditright]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33251170

Eri had felt somewhat left out, when Shiki had a new group of friends... who clearly all knew some inside thing that she didn't. And Beat ended up telling Eri this thing (though not out of selfish reasons. It was when the world was threatened once more, and they thought they might need her Imagination), and sometimes... all it takes is one voice to make you feel needed and alight your Soul. BeatEri. Oneshot. Post Neo. Way in the future fic. I don't think there are any Neo spoilers here... But still maybe don't read, unless you've finished Neo, just to be safe.

I See You

Eri had had a crush on Beat for a long time.

And she knew how cliché that was: that the pretty, popular girl would have feelings for such a handsome man (though he was a skater boy, and she had never said "see you later, boy").

But what could she say? There had just been something endearing about him that Eri could easily see, when Shiki would go from hanging out with her, to spending time with him. Especially after the guy Shiki had loved, Neku, had vanished, and it had seemed like Beat was one of the few people who could who make Shiki feel better in the slightest after that—and Eri was eternally grateful to him for that.

And the times she'd seen him with his little sister, Rhyme, also scored big points for Beat in Eri's book, since anyone who cared about their sibling was someone who should be cherished, in her eyes. Eri had lost a little brother when she was young, and she still wasn't over it, thank you very much. She probably never would be.

But more than anything, Eri appreciated that Beat actually explained the Reapers' Game stuff to her, so she wouldn't be left out...

Though he probably shouldn't have, because Joshua--who sometimes still gave her the chills—had looked like he was going to kill her or Beat for that when he had... but since nothing had happened since then, Eri now saw it as a blessing that she was no longer out of the loop.

And to Beat's credit... he hadn't told her about the Game willy-nilly or selfishly, but when Shibuya was threatened a third time, she guessed, and everyone had decided they could use all the help they could get. Apparently, they'd thought about bringing Eri into the UG, in thinking her Imagination must be pretty high, for being the lead designer for Gatto Nero.

That hadn't happened, in the end. But when Eri had heard her city—and possibly other regions beyond it—was in danger, she'd been willing to kill herself to end up in the Game, to help the Players and Game Masters out.

But for now, she just carried a badge on her in case she was finally needed, if destruction was threatened a fourth time for Shibuya... since it was sadly trendy at this point?

Anyway, it was for all of these reasons that Eri liked Beat... but she didn't think he'd ever feel the same way about her. He was a living legend as much as Shiki, Neku, Rindo, Joshua, and the Wicked Twisters of old and new were. And who was she in comparison to that?

But the reason Eri had started thinking about Beat right now, was because she was a normal maiden who wanted a mate and those sorts of things, she supposed.

...But also, because she saw Jupiter of the Monkey was having a contest right now, where you were paired up with someone, to see which team could come up with the best new pin design... and thinking of the Reapers' Game—the Reapers' Game of old, that she had never been a part of; now they used badges instead of the old pins, apparently—Eri found that she really wanted to do this. With Beat in particular. But she doubted that he would ever be game for it. Or that any of the Hachiko Group, Wicked Twisters, or Blindfold would be, really.

But it was just as she was having that self-deprecating thought, that Beat just happened to come from Tokyu Hands to Cat Street, and saw her there. And Eri couldn't help beaming the moment that he did approach her.

"Yo-yickity-yo-yo-yo, Eri. What's crackin'? You thinkin' about buyin' some pins here? Man, does the thought of ‘em bring back memories."

"Actually, Beat," Eri corrected, a smile even wider on her face somehow, as she crept closer to him, "I'm thinking of entering the contest here, to try and make a winning design for a pin. I make clothes... but I've never tried my hand at this sort of art before. I think it might be a fun hobby. Wanna join me?"

And it took all that Eri had within her, not to stand on her tiptoes and kiss Beat, as a sort of drunk on happiness feeling overtook her. Perhaps someday: if she was fortunate to win all the gods above’s favor, in order to make him love her, but not now…

"Yo! That right there sounds like all kindsa fun. I'm ona break from the Olympics, so I could dig doin' tha' right now. Just give me the detes on where's you want ta meet up and I'll be there!"

And Eri did just that, thinking that maybe fortune was perhaps smiling on her again, after all.

And she and Beat began the vigorous task of making a pink pin—something that Beat had not been on board with at all at first, but eventually Eri convinced him of it with a neat black background that looked like space—that was somewhat reminiscent of the ones you'd get in America's "Hot Topic", before they stopped selling them, but that was also completely original. Eri knew, because she’d lived in America for a few years, before moving back to Japan and meeting Shiki…

When Beat and Eri were done, they had what looked like a pink sun setting across the solar system—looking striking as it did so--and Eri couldn’t have been more pleased with it if she could try. And she could tell that Beat felt the same way, too.

"I don't care if we win or not, yo. This pin is sick, and I'mma wear it when I go back to work, and maybe see if I can make pins in again. But why'd ya wanna make it so badly, Eri?"

And, damnit. Beat was giving Eri the puppy dog pout—in her room no less—and so she felt all her walls crumbling down, and her mouth moving to tell him the truth, despite itself.

"...I don't know. I guess because it represents something I feel I can never reach with you guys: Your first Reapers' Games. But Beat... you tried to include me in all that… so I guess I can touch it a bit more through you, than I could have otherwise. And I- I like you for that. So- so thank you."

And Eri couldn't believe that she'd just admitted that she liked Beat, so out of the blue, when she was certain he wouldn't feel the same way. And so matter-of-factly, too.

But fortunately, he seemed to realize what she meant right away, Eri guessed (that she liked-liked him, to sound like a fourteen-year-old again, and not just as a friend), as he suddenly knelt in front of her and held her hands in his own. Was he preparing to just soften the blow, or-

"Eri, you're on our level. Ai'ight? Don't even think otherwise! You was ready to throw down wit us. And might have to in the future, sadly… Oy. And if it weren't for you, Shiki would have done no designin', and might not have had her Mr. Mew psych to save Phones in the first Game. And then we all woulda been wrecked. So, be like Shiki and 'ppreciate yourself now, yo. Or I'll have to do it all for you...

"And, to be frank, I wouldn' mind havin' ta learn ta do that. Jus' give me a lil’ time here, ta be able to recipr'cate your feelings."

And Eri laughed. And then pulled away from Beat some, and put her hand over her heart like a girl getting everything she ever could have asked for from a marriage proposal from a worthy man. To her, it was as good as that.

And Eri leaned down and kissed Beat's forehead.

It was the nice start of something new. And something sweet, since they didn't win the pin contest, but Eri wouldn't complain. It was her first rodeo with that kind of thing, after all.

And Beat wearing it as he snowboarded on TV was really all she'd ever need.

Author’s Note: I wrote this to try and figure out Eri’s character again—because I used to write her a little, back in the day—for another fic, maybe. And because I wanted to write Beat.

So, the two things combined, and we have Beat/Eri… which I used to ship, though I don’t know if I do anymore.

So, I wrote this for my younger self, so to speak… Especially since I deleted the one Beat/Eri fic I wrote, back in the day. And this one’s much better.

The Hot Topic line, was because I was trying to show that pins had really become unpopular in recent years! Like, they were once all the rage there, as well. But now they weren’t. But now it sort of seems like an unnecessary line, meh.

And Beat swapped his skateboard for a snowboard:)

[jenanigans1207]

Lonely with Me |Renga|

Okay so I binged all 8 eps of Sk8 today. And like, I know ep 8 is already out but if I had started watching last week, this is the fic I would have written to help myself cope with the tragedy that was ep 7. And I decided that I want to write it anyways because I still have a lot of feelings about it. So, I hope you enjoy!

-- x

It wasn’t supposed to rain today, but Reki doesn’t care.

The rain patters to the ground around him, drowning out the sound of his ragged breathing, his broken heartbeats. It trickles down his back, across his face, it feels like tears. It wasn’t supposed to rain, but Reki thinks there’s some sort of ironic humor in the universe, some sort of sick joke that he has to endure as he walks away from his best friend, head bowed as his shattered heart somehow finds a way to break a little more with every step.

At this point, he’s already drenched to the bone anyways, the water sloshing in his shoes with each slowing step. His house is still a few streets away and the lamps are the only light he has to guide him there. And he should be going home, he has every reason to go home, but he finds that his feet stop moving of their own accord. He tries to breathe in the cool air of the rain, tries to feel the dampness against his cheek and think of it as refreshing. It doesn’t work.

Because the only thing he’s actually thinking about is Langa and the way he didn’t follow.

Reki walked away and Langa— Langa just let him go.

Langa, who stopped him from doing reckless things. Langa who tried to nurse him back to health when he was broken. Langa who had never let Reki get too far away, who had always reached out for him, circled back for him, sought him out in a crowd. Langa, who seemed to always hear Reki, even when he wasn’t speaking, who seemed to understand the language of Reki’s soul and managed to read between the lines. Langa, who Reki trusted more than anyone else, who Reki needed in his life, wanted in his life. Langa just let him walk away like he wasn’t just one gentle breeze away from falling apart completely.

Did Langa not see the way he was hurting, not hear the barbs laced into all of his words? For all that Langa had always been good at understanding what Reki really meant, he didn’t seem able to figure it out tonight. He’d just stared wide-eyed at Reki’s back as he’d stomped away through the puddles, his feelings washing away from the space between the two of them, drowned out a little more with every raindrop that seems to punctuate their growing distance.

He tries not to think about it, but his head is an echo chamber, replaying his words over and over again. Replaying Langa’s silence on loop until it drives him absolutely insane. What he needs is to get away from it all, to get home, to lock himself in his room. Reki needs to bury his face in a pillow and block out the rest of the world, not sit outside in the rain and catch his death.

Reki slumps to the ground anyways, pressing his back against the stone wall and dropping his forehead against his knees. He’d been fighting the weight of this for days, watching as Langa got further and further ahead of him. It had been a hard battle but at least then he’d been treading water, managing to somehow stay afloat despite it all. He had been able to put his fear of being left behind away and had been excited for his friend. But now— now he was drowning from it, the weight pulling him straight to the depths of the ocean with no hope of escaping. Reki may be good at skateboarding but it turns out he’s terrible at swimming and even worse at dealing with these feelings. The light of the surface is so far away now, he can’t even see it.

Logic told him that he should be happy for his friend. And he was, of course he was. Langa was brilliant and watching him skate was magical. It had been since the very first time Reki had seen him take on the S. Hell, it had been magical before that. From the first moment Langa stepped foot on Reki’s skateboard, only to fall flat on his back less than a second later, Reki had been enthralled. There was something about the way Langa moved on a skateboard, something about the way he made the sport his own— it was captivating, breathtaking, impossible to look away from. Everyone saw it— Snow had risen to the tip of everyone’s tongue lately, a name thrown around casually as if people knew him.

But they didn’t know him, not the way Reki did. They weren’t used to watching him practice skating, they hadn’t seen him start at the bottom. They had never seen his face as he’d hit the ground after his hundredth failed attempt at a trick, only to watch it harden back into determination as he got up to try it again. They didn’t know what his laugh sounded like, or the way he brushed his hair out of his face, they didn’t know what he looked like at the end of a long night, blinking the sleep away. They knew Snow, but Reki knew Langa. He knew the touch of Langa’s hand around his wrist as he shook his head with finality, cutting off some silly idea before Reki could even finish forming it. He knew the smile that Langa reserved only for when he nailed a new skill he’d been practicing.

He knew what it was like to have Langa nestled inside of his chest, right up against his heart. He was the only person Langa read like an open book, the only one Langa protected. Reki still remembered the look on Langa’s face after his beef with Adam, the way Langa’s expression had switched from worry to fury in such a quick second that Reki would’ve missed it if he’d blinked. He knew Langa as well as he knew himself because Langa was his best friend, his most important person. Langa was the person he shared his passion with, the one who listened to him as he rattled on and on about everything skating related.

Langa was the one he had left behind in the rain. The one who’d done nothing but watch him go.

God. This wasn’t supposed to hurt so bad.

The worst part was that there was nobody to blame. He couldn’t possibly be mad at Langa for being a genius— it wasn’t like Langa had chosen that. It wasn’t even like Langa had purposely wielded it against him. All Langa had been doing this time was having fun, that was clear in the look in his eyes every time he stepped onto his board. He’d been finding his place in this new world that he was suddenly thrust into, finding a way to express himself through all the things he’d been through. He was finding something to be passionate about again, something to give him back a piece of himself that he’d felt like he’d lost. He loved skating as much as he had loved snowboarding and Reki would never take that away from him. It came to Langa as natural as breathing by now and that was something Reki could be jealous of, but he couldn’t blame Langa for it.

He couldn’t blame himself either, though, not really. Because that would make it better. If the fact of the matter was just that he hadn’t tried hard enough, hadn’t put in the hours practicing— if the truth was that he was a coward, that he scared easily and didn’t have the guts for this, well that was something he could face. More than that, it was something he could fix. He could put it more time practicing, he could study the other skaters with more dedication, he could work on facing his fears. If it was his fault, he could do something about it, could manage to close the gap between him and Langa, even if just marginally. But that wasn’t the truth. Reki loved skating, too. Reki had been skating for nearly as long as Langa had been snowboarding, He had put in years, numerous broken bones and a lot of sleepless nights. He had watched video after video online, studied all the top skaters at the S, he’d put in the work and even when he didn’t see progress as fast as he would have liked to, he put in more work.

There wasn’t anything Reki could do that he hadn’t already been doing, There wasn’t anything that would allow him to catch back up to Langa.

And maybe that’s why it actually hurt so bad. Because the fact of the matter, the one Reki had been forced to face jump after jump after jump, that graffiti star an unattainable goal mocking him from just a few feet away, was that he and Langa weren’t the same. They weren’t in the same category, they weren’t the same skill level. And the gap between them was only going to grow wider. Because no matter how many times Reki made that same jump, no matter how many techniques he tried, he simply couldn’t reach any higher. And yet, it seemed like Langa got a little closer to the stars every time his feet touched his deck.

Pretty soon Langa would be so far away that he’d be nothing but a brilliant speck of light for Reki to admire from afar. He’d be nothing but fond memories of a time Reki had found his best friend, the person who fit the edges of his soul with perfect ease. He would watch Langa rise in the ranks and he would think of these months they spent together, learning to speak each other’s language, to meet each other in the middle. He would remember Langa’s laugh, the way he would duck his head as if it could somehow hide the melodic sound. And then he would think about how he’d lost all of that, how it had been just enough to whet his appetite before it had been ripped away from him, forever leaving a Langa-shaped hole in his heart.

And it was true that Langa hadn’t left Reki behind— yet. So far, Langa always came back for Reki, always glanced over his shoulder to make sure Reki was still there. Whenever he accomplished something new, Reki was the first person he showed, the approval he sought. But Reki had seen him skate against Adam, had seen the way he’d effortlessly flipped straight over Adam’s hug, like it was nothing. Like it was the only obvious thing he could have done. He saw the way Langa wanted more, craved for something further ahead of him. And if Reki was behind him already, there was no way he would ever be able to help Langa satisfy that craving.

It was really only a matter of time before Langa left Reki behind.

Or, it was a matter of time before Langa should leave Reki behind if he wanted to keep advancing and growing. Just as these feelings of bitterness had been weighing Reki down, he knew that he was starting to way Langa down. Langa could never get better if he kept skating with Reki, kept trying to match Reki’s pace instead of setting his own. He couldn’t develop his skill any further by Reki’s side and even though that cut, even though it hurt worse than every broken bone that Reki had ever had, stung worse than all of the road rash he’d acquired over the years, he didn’t want to be the reason Langa was stuck. Just like he didn’t want Langa to get hurt because of him, he didn’t want Langa to give up his potential, either. Langa was destined to shine and Reki was casting a shadow over his brilliant light.

So as much as it hurt, as terribly as it sucked— and it did, oh it did— Reki knew that he had to break free from Langa. He knew that he had to put the space between them, to sever the tie that Langa was using to drag him along. Because Langa was— well, he was Langa.

He was quiet, but genuinely interested in everything Reki had to say. He was soft spoken but the things he did say were brilliant. He added great insight. He was protective, fierce—

Reki pulled his knees closer to his chest.

He needed to stop thinking like this. He needed to haul himself off the ground and finish dragging his sorry ass home. He needed to collapse, maybe pretend to be sick tomorrow so he could lay in bed all day. He needed to do something because right now he was sitting in one spot, an easy target for all the emotions he had been trying so desperately to avoid. He didn’t think he could outrun them, not anymore, but he ought to at least try.

Somewhere in the distance, the sound of water starts to shift. It takes Reki a few seconds to realize that he’s hearing more than just raindrops now, he’s hearing a set of footsteps in the puddles. He considers for a moment trying to get up now, but whichever other poor soul is out in this rain has already seen him and really, he still doesn’t have the will to do anything but stay exactly where he is. If he’s lucky, the person will just pass him right on by, biting back whatever questions they have for a young boy sitting in the rain with his head bowed.

“Reki.” The sound of Langa’s voice is almost enough to make Reki jump right out of his skin. “You’re going to get sick if you keep sitting there.”

“So?” Reki manages to mumble, pressing his forehead firmer against his knees.

Langa sighs and Reki refuses to look up at him, refuses to see the way the lights are reflecting in his eyes, the way his longer hair curls gently at the back of his head. Reki refuses to look up and acknowledge that Langa had actually come after him in the end.

He refuses to look at Langa because if he does, he’ll say all the things he doesn’t want Langa to know.

He doesn’t look at Langa, because if he does, he’ll tell Langa that he doesn’t want him to go, that he wants to keep skating with him for as long as Langa will let him. He’ll tell Langa that he misses him, even if he’s only two feet away. He’ll tell Langa all these things that will become a burden on Langa because he’s too gentle to leave Reki behind, even if he needs to. So it’s up to Reki to cut the ties for his sake and he can’t do that if he sees Langa standing over him in the rain.

“Reki.” Langa repeats, but this time it’s so quiet, it’s almost drowned out by the rain entirely. When Reki doesn’t respond, doesn’t shift even a little bit, Langa steps closer, closer, closer and then he’s sitting down next to Reki, pressing his own back against the stone wall, his shoulder brushing Reki’s in the process.

For a moment, they just sit side by side like this, close enough that Reki can just feel the warmth of Langa’s skin despite the rain that still cascades down on them. They sit in the silence of the late night, no other people daring to be out in weather such as this. It’s almost peaceful, honestly, As peaceful as something can be when Reki is trying to nurse the jagged edges of a broken heart so they don’t get the chance to cut him any deeper.

Reki thinks that Langa is leaving it up to him to talk, to start whatever conversation they’re supposed to be having, It’s a fair thing for Langa to do, considering that Reki is the one who walked away, the one who is clearly carrying some burden— a burden that he only allowed Langa to see a glimpse of. It’s only reasonable to assume that Reki would have more to say after that, but he really doesn’t.

And then Langa shifts next to him, turning so that he’s facing Reki. Reki still isn’t looking at him, but he can see Langa’s legs and feet as he moves and then suddenly there’s a warm hand on his shoulder and it’s enough to jolt Reki into at least lifting his head.

He really shouldn’t have because Langa looks just as broken as Reki feels, his wet hair falling limp around his face, the longer edges of his hair kissing his shoulders along with the raindrops. He looks like he’s in pain and Reki’s immediate reaction is to want to fix it, even though he’s the cause of it.

This really became quite the mess.

“I want to skate with you.” Langa says after a moment, the words almost choked, as if he can barely get them out. “I want to beat Adam, but I want to skate with you.”

And there really is a difference there, Reki knows. He can feel it in the way Langa emphasizes the words. Beating Adam, that’s a one time thing. But skating together? That’s— that’s everything. That’s daily, nightly, forever. That’s the exact thing that Reki has unintentionally fallen in love with. Skating together is laughing together, it’s continuing to speak each other’s language. Skating together means more of Langa’s hands as he bandages up Reki’s newest injury, more chances to watch Langa’s eyes light up as he masters something new. Skating together is continuing to bare their souls to each other, meeting each other in the middle.

Langa doesn’t want to compete with Reki, that’s what he’s saying. He wants to share this with Reki, for it to be something they both hold dear. Langa wants to surpass Adam and leave him in the dust, but he wants to keep Reki at his side.

“You’re better than I am.” Reki responds feebly, glancing down to where Langa’s foot is almost touching his. “You should go on ahead.”

For a moment, Langa seems to chew on his response, thinking of how to properly say whatever words are all jumbled up in his mind. Reki has seen him do it before and, apparently, if Langa gets his way, he’ll see him do it again in the future.

“I don’t skate to be good.” Langa finally says. “I skate to have fun. And I have fun skating with you.”

“You have fun skating with Adam, too.” Reki replies. He doesn’t want to say these words, doesn’t want to keep digging the knife deeper into his own heart, but he tries to anyways. “You can keep having fun skating with Adam because he’ll keep challenging you.”

“No.”

It’s all Langa says before there’s a set of arms enveloping Reki, pulling him flush into Langa’s soaking wet body. Reki falls into him, his arms finally letting go of his legs as he allows himself a brief moment to just be held by Langa. And then, after a few seconds tick by, he wraps his own arms back around Langa, his hands fisting in the back of Langa’s shirt as he pulls him closer, pressing his face into Langa’s shoulder.

Langa’s hold is firm and unyielding as he buries his own face in the hair on top of Reki’s head. They don’t speak, not for a long time, but Langa’s always been good at hearing what’s inside Reki’s heart, even if Reki hasn’t tried putting it into words. And the longer he remains in Langa’s embrace, the more he realizes that he, too, can read into the depths of Langa’s heart. He can feel it in the way Langa smooths a hand down his back, the desperation for things to not end here. He can hear it in Langa’s rattling breaths, that he’s going to keep fighting for this, that he’s not going to just let Reki walk away again.

“I’m sorry—“ Reki starts to say, but his apology is cut short by Langa pulling away from him. Not far— not far at all, in fact. He’s so close, his blue eyes sparkling in a way that Reki has never seen before.

Their arms are still wrapped around each other as their gazes lock and there seems to be something filling the air besides the rain suddenly. Reki tries to swallow, to form the rest of his apology, to explain to Langa that he’s just afraid of losing the one thing that matters to him more than anything else. He wants to tell Langa that losing him will hurt worse than losing his friend in the past and that he’s handled it completely the wrong way but his intentions were good and he just wanted Langa to shine—

But before any of the words can find their way past the lump in his throat, Langa is leaning in and Reki can’t do anything but lean in, too, his eyes fluttering as the feeling between them grows to an almost unbearable level. They’re close, so close, painfully close—

The wall of water that drenches them is somehow cold, despite the fact that they were both already dripping wet. Reki makes some sort of startled noise and shoots backwards, trying to brush his hair out of his face. Langa is in the same spot, arms out to the side as he tries to shake some of the extra water off, but there’s a smile on his face. The driver of the car that had drenched them yells some sort of apology out of their window before continuing onwards. Reki, too stunned to have any idea what to do, turns to Langa only to see his shoulders shaking with laughter.

And then suddenly he’s laughing out loud, throwing his head back as he tucks his wet hair behind his ears and Reki finds that he’s laughing too. He’s laughing and his ribs and lungs are burning and it feels good and warm against the cold of the evening, it’s a balm against the storm of emotions that has only just started to be quelled inside of him.

“I’m sorry,” He says to Langa again, after they’ve finally gotten their laughter back under control. He knows Langa doesn’t need an apology, but he deserves one. “I was just— feeling left behind and lonely.”

“Reki, I’ll never leave you behind.” Langa says with the same conviction that he had promised Reki that he wouldn’t give up skateboarding, even if he got seriously injured. He says it with so much feeling that Reki knows it’s more than a promise, it's a guarantee.

Even though he still doesn’t like Langa going up against Adam again, even though he worries for Langa’s safety and still knows that he’s going to have bouts of loneliness as he tries desperately to close this gap between them, as he chases in Langa’s shadow, he knows that he’s going to have Langa by his side through it all. And maybe being lonely isn't terrible if he has someone to be lonely with.

Reki stands up finally, tucking his skateboard under one arm and extending his other hand to Langa. “Whatever you say mister hot shot, Snow.”

Langa takes his hand with a dramatic roll of his eyes and allows Reki to haul him to his feet. “If you act like that, maybe I will leave you behind.”

Or maybe, Reki thinks as Langa falls in step next to him as they head towards his house together, an unspoken agreement to dry off passing between them, he won’t be lonely at all.

[virtchandmoir]

TESSA VIRTUE ON LIFE IN A NEW ARENA + HER MAC MAKER LIPSTICK

One of the most decorated Olympic figure skaters of all time chats with Beautygeeks about adjusting to a less structured life, finding a new "safe space," and navigating her beauty journey.

April 28, 2020

Tessa Virtue is one of only two best-ever ice-dancing athletes on the planet. Scott Moir, her on-ice partner of 22 years, is the other one. Together the duo shattered multiple world records and racked up an unprecedented number of awards, national and world championships, and five Olympic medals, including gold in 2010 and again in 2018, after which ESPN called Tessa one of the most famous female athletes in the world. Since retiring from competition, Tessa's been busy with a number of projects and contracts with brands including Mattel, Nivea Canada, Colgate, Sick Kids Hospital, Adidas and more. Last month, she celebrated the launch of her first lipstick with MAC Cosmetics, which gave us an excuse to have a good chat about how her life has changed since stepping away from the ice...

BEAUTYGEEKS  Makeup and skincare must have started early for you; you've been skating since you were quite small. (Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir became ice-dancing partners in 1997, when she was seven and he was nine.) TESSA  I remember having conversations at a really young age with coaches and advisors, trying to figure out what was age-appropriate for a Latin-style program and how we do makeup and costuming and everything that works for 10-year-olds. One of my coaches, Rebecca Babb, used to do my makeup for competitions. That was always something that I really looked forward to. I think there was an awareness early on about how I presented myself in the skating world, simply because it's judged and it's such an aesthetic sport. It's part of the entire package of telling a story. As I evolved and grew as both an athlete and a performer, I really came to enjoy and appreciate that element of it because it's really what sets figure skating apart from most, especially winter, sports. That balance between art and athleticism – and part of that was the costuming, the hair, the makeup, the ability to take the ice and get into character, and make someone feel something. The makeup routine became part of my mental preparation, too – meditative. I would get into the zone as I was applying makeup, and also have fun expressing myself in different ways.

Tessa Virtue in Barbie form; at Toys R Us

BG  Now that you're into another life chapter, what's your beauty routine? TESSA  You know, it's funny, I'm at both extremes, and I used to say this about my wardrobe. I was fully athletic wear or black tie. There was very little in between. Friends would ask me to go for coffee and I would rock a power suit or something because I just didn't have that sort of casual in-between mode. Maybe that's part of being an athlete: you compartmentalize and you're a bit of an extremist. And now with makeup, I'm either working with some of Canada's best glam teams or I'm wearing nothing as I travel or do my own. Mascara, blush and lipstick is sort of my go-to every day. Stepping away from skating and having fun in the beauty industry and in fashion world in a different way has been really liberating because I've tried to take some risks, explore different looks and aesthetics. I think like most of us, when I'm doing my own makeup, I'm so tempted do the same routine. Picking up tips and tricks from others along the way has been really great. I've also learned that the getting-ready process is actually the most fun part of any event.

BG  When you're sitting down for hair and makeup, do you have photos to say "let's try this" or do you consult with your team? Has the process changed now that you're in a different arena? TESSA  Often I'm getting ready to do something work related. In some way I'm always focusing on what my task is and what I have to offer in the upcoming event, strategizing on how I can maximize that for whoever has hired me or whatever I'm representing, whatever charity I'm trying to help. I use that time to talk with my team about that. So when I sit down in the chair, I completely put my trust in the people around me. I've worked so closely with those artists, and I've realized that they become your family; they're some of my closest friends. I value their expertise. And I think there's fun for them with that too, because they're empowered to try anything and everything.

BG  Those are good friends to have. And your time with them is so intimate. TESSA  I feel so lucky. Sometimes we're on set and there'll be a hundred people who all have an agenda of their own, who all have someone to answer to and are all trying to accomplish something in their own right. It's nice to have the security of a glam team or a stylist or someone to come back to – that's your safe place, where you can sort of recharge, get energy and then put yourself out there again. There's a vulnerability that comes with stepping into a spotlight, so to speak. I think that's taken on greater meaning as I put myself in different work positions too.

BG  So in some respects, members of your beauty team are touchstones as well. TESSA  Exactly, yes exactly.

BG  I love that. Let's hit skincare: has yours evolved since leaving the ice or was it particularly involved beforehand? TESSA  I realize now just what harsh conditions I put my skin under when I was training. And that was partly because of the cold and the dry arenas, but also the sweat and, in my case at least at competition, having to sweat with makeup on. I'm still conscious of hydrating, but I find less and less need for that. Although I suppose I'm on airplanes and traveling quite a bit, so that sort of replaced the arena. I've always been of the less-is-more mindset when it comes to skincare. That's thanks to my mom. She always told me to touch my face as little as possible. So I'm pretty simple with micellar water and moisturizer. I make sure that I get all my makeup off at night so my skin can breathe, and if I'm traveling, I don't really put anything on my face.

BG  It's also a good thing that your skin was at its peak when you were training and performing – you had so much natural hyaluronic acid, collagen and resilience because you were so young. You're still really young. (Tessa turns 31 in May.) TESSA  Well, thank you. But you know, there's also stress, hormonal changes and everything that goes along with competing and performing. That's not easy. Sometimes when you're battling stress, hormones, not feeling confident, and then to continue to put yourself out there... But yes, thank you. I do feel pretty fortunate. I know a lot comes down to genes, so I can thank my parents for that.

BG  How important is sleep to you? Do you need a specific number of hours? TESSA  I'm still stuck in that athlete mindset of needing eight hours a night, at least. What I miss are those mandatory naps that were part of our daily disciplined routine! I'm probably sleeping much less now because I'm on the go – and every day is different. That more than anything has contributed to a sense of, depending on the day, either unease or complete liberation. There was a time when I was training that I could have told you that eight years from now, on March 1st at 2:30 PM, this is what I'll be doing. That sense of structure is so incredibly important as an athlete. And now every day is different, and I'm really trying to embrace that. I think it makes it a little bit harder. Things like sleep, fitness, easy nutrition – it's harder to find a routine in that realm. But I do feel pretty lucky that every time I leave the house I get to do something I love to do.

BG  You've had 22 years of an incredibly goal-oriented lifestyle. How have things changed for you now that that goal has been not only met, but surpassed? TESSA  That was a hard transition. But I found it was harder to go from being a competitive athlete to a performer. I was so focused for decades, saw everything through the lens of "how can this make me a champion?" Whether that was a meal, an event, a sponsor, a friend – everything was filtered through this very simple mandate of "how can I be my best?" and "will this assist or prohibit me from becoming my best?" That was a singular focus, and then suddenly I was thrust into this place where I was wearing a hundred different hats, and I felt like maybe I wasn't doing anything all that well. At the same time, that support network – the sports psychologists, the trainers, the therapists, everything, this whole safety net that we had built – on February 21st, 2018 was gone. And I felt so alone. At a time when everyone expected me to feel a certain way, I just really struggled. There's an inherent low that comes after any kind of high. Whether it's a competition, a wedding, a degree, any monumental occasion is often followed by a bit of a crash, and so I just had to live that at a time when everyone thought I was living out this fairytale. It was an interesting thing to reconcile. You started the question with something about goals. I think that's been a saving grace for me: I've set new goals. If you give me a task, I can figure out a way to work towards it. That's when I feel confident and competent and more settled.

BG  So you can recognize yourself again in that particular mini structure. TESSA  Exactly, yes.

BG  I can't imagine the change. I mean it's 900% more complex than transitioning from working in an office for several years to going freelance, for instance. TESSA  I think a transition of any kind is difficult. I was feeling a little bit ostracized, so on my own for a little bit. And then I realized that no, everyone is going through that in some capacity. I mean even Kaylee [MAC's PR director in Canada] coming back from having a baby and getting back to work, like any kind of life transition, takes its toll and, and it's all relative. Right? So don't diminish that change for yourself, that would've been huge.

BG  You mentioned it's harder to slot regular fitness into your schedule these days, but do you manage any kind of routine somehow? TESSA  I don't have a routine, which is kind of strange, but also necessary at the moment and I'm learning to exercise when I can, because I do need that dopamine hit. I need to sweat, I need to move my body. But I'm also learning to be kind to myself. So if that means taking a day or two off, or having an extended period of time when I'm focusing my energy elsewhere, I try to be gentle and not get too caught up in that. And when I'm working out, it's so interesting. There was a very specific cycling class I did last year and I felt – I'm pretty sure I wrote a note in my phone about the feeling – a tangible weight being lifted off my shoulders. I realized I'm just doing this for me. I'm not trying to be a better ice dancer, I'm not trying to do this so that I can represent Canada. This isn't functional. It's really just so that I feel good, and suddenly I felt a hundred pounds lighter because that mindset had shifted. And I think right now as I explore boxing and spar classes and spinning and peloton and yoga, I'm just trying to figure out what makes my body feel good in the moment, and take the pressure out of needing to do something. Instead it feels like it's a privilege to be able to work out.

BG  It sounds like you're having an adventure there, too. TESSA  Yeah, I am and I think that's just the nature of my lifestyle at the moment when I'm traveling so much. And also I have to admit that I'm still not in that place where I just go to a hotel gym and motivate myself. For someone whose job for two decades was to work out, I would wander around quite aimlessly. So it's been fun to explore different avenues and try new things that I wouldn't have been able to do when everything needed to be, as I say, so functional.

BG  Do you actually have any more leisure time than you did before? Because it sounds like you're incredibly busy. TESSA  I'm trying to build that into my schedule now and I think I'm doing that somewhat successfully. But the difference is that being an athlete and having downtime, I mean that's part of the job, that recovery and it was also part of our job to sort of block out the rest of the world and really insulate ourselves in this bubble. And I was very cognizant at the time that there would be no other opportunity, so I really had to do that. But now, I'm planning on getting my MBA starting next Fall, and I know I won't be able to isolate myself fully and immerse myself into that world because that's just not life. People rely on you, people depend on you. You have to carry on. And yet as an athlete, it's quite a selfish pursuit and endeavour. That's been the biggest change as far as downtime. I'm trying to work it in now – self-care is just such a buzz phrase. But we're also in the midst of this busy culture where everyone is busy and that seems like a status thing, or it seems like somehow we're more important if we're busy. I think I got wrapped up in that a little bit and ended up wanting to work, work, work, feeling like it was a kind of validation. Now instead I'm trying to focus more on the things that matter to me work-wise, and also fit in time to be fully present with friends and family. I haven't really had the tendency to do that over the years; they've had to accommodate me so much.

tessa virtue's mac maker lipstick

BG  Let's talk about your new MAC lipstick. How did you decide on the shade? TESSA  Well, I started with a mood board, unsurprisingly, and just kind of curated this aesthetic, which ended up being actually really beautiful. Just a bunch of different kind of pink tones and shades that I was drawn to. I have to be totally honest: there are three or four lipsticks that have been on my rotation for many, many years and they're all MAC shades. There's Syrup and Mehr, Soar and Brave, and they're all sort of in that shade family.

Next the MAC chemists took my inspiration and did their thing. They came back with about three different testers and from there we made some tweaks and some adjustments. But it was pretty clear from the moment I saw this particular one, which I affectionately nicknamed Tutu, that it's exactly what I wanted in a lipstick. I'm not lying when I say that I've worn it every single day since. It's been a struggle because people ask me what shade it is and I've not been able to tell them! It was important for me to have it be an everyday lipstick, one that works for a coffee run and also for an event, and a shade everyone can wear. That's very MAC too, to be inclusive and welcoming and accessible to as many people as possible. I wanted it to be hydrating, as well, so we chose a satin finish for extra comfort as opposed to matte.

BG  Where did the inspiration for the packaging itself come from? TESSA  I had instantly thought pale pink – it's my favourite colour – and polka dots. And I'm hesitant to even say this because it seems like an incredibly egotistical thing, but I kind of loved that the polka dots were reminiscent of medals. It just came about really, really, really organically. And it just felt right as soon as I saw the final draft.

BG Good move – if there hadn't been a nod to gold medals, I bet we'd all want to know why not. Do you think you might get involved in more beauty collaborations in the future? TESSA  I don't know. I feel, so fortunate. This is something that I never thought that I would have the chance to explore and I'm been able to really dive in and learn about the company and the industry in a different way. And that's been really refreshing. I think what MAC has done, with both the Canadian Originals campaign and with this MAC Makers, has been really inspiring. It's getting back to the roots of an originally Canadian brand and our values that we can all be proud of. It's such a privilege and a joy to participate.

Tessa Virtue's MAC Maker Lipstick is a limited edition; find it at maccosmetics.com.

—beautygeeks