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rotten-c0rps3 · 6 months ago

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•𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛•

Masc list

Updated: May 27th

A list of my male/masc monster characters. I will be adding more in the future. I will do Character x reader with them, so don’t be afraid to request if one catches your eye!

Creatures added: (2) angels, (2) shapeshifting parasites, (1) zombie, (1) siren,

Ｈａｌｏ

Species: Angel

Gender: Male (but only once he got down to Earth, Angels don’t have genders in Heaven)

He/They/It (Couldn’t care less about what people refer to him as, just doesn’t want to be perceived as feminine)

Backstory: Nobody told Halo it’d be quite so… lonely being on Earth. I mean, up in Heaven, Halo knew everyone. Thats how Heaven was, basically one big office building in the clouds, full of friends. Now, even though being a “fallen Angel” isn’t as bad as humans described it, it’s still pretty sucky. Maybe he’ll find some human to keep him company. Why would the other Angels care? He’ll just say he’s doing his job up close!

Personally: You thought Angels would be interesting? Ha! Nah, just kidding. He’s interesting, just has some boring interests and hobbies. If a causal guy isn’t for you, Halo isn’t either! He’s quite chill once to get to know him, it’s up to you if that’s a good thing. Also, he might be chill, but he’d give you nothing than utter devotion. He will expect the same back from you.

Looks: Well, picture the most beautiful man you can. Then erase that from your mind, because Angel beauty is so much more intense. That being said, he’s a little scary in his Angel form. He’s as white as the moon, with only three fingers on each hand and skin the texture of soft sandpaper. He was no head, a ball of bright light where it would be. Despite his brightness, his light doesn’t hurt human eyes. A single blue eye sits in where the center of the light seems to be. He’s not often in this form, unless at home.

Human form: Halo has very short, black curly hair. He’s pale, with the complexion of the moon, but not sickly looking. He does have two eyes in this form, but his left eye is heavily damaged-looking. This happened because when he transformed for the first time, his one eye had trouble splitting correctly and made one of his eyes bonk looking. He’s beauty beyond your comprehension, but he dresses like a loser.

Likes: Human food, TV, sleeping, taking baths, his Angel colleagues, when God gives him easy tasks, being in his angel form, cherry slushy, platonic intimacy, babies, praise,

Dislikes: Rude people, perverts, eccentric religious people, people being able to tell he’s an angel, not being able to watch TV, being forced to be fine with the fact he’ll never be a parent (specifically a mother) because he’s an angel and they don’t reproduce (I smell angst 😼),

Relationships: Doc (Colleague, great friends), Lili (Colleague, quite close)

Doc

Species: Angel

Gender: Male (But only after getting to Earth since Angels don’t really have a gender in Heaven)

He/Him (Uses pronouns as a way to “blend in with humans,” doesn’t really care)

Backstory: After hearing his fellow Angel friend Halo got put on Human-Watching duty, he quickly made a deal with God to go down to Earth with his buddy. Doc is a prepared man, too prepared most would probably say. So, before his little vacation down to Earth, he made sure to read all the info on humans he could find in Heaven. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a lot, and most was out-dated too. The only interesting thing he learned about was human doctors, which he may or may not of named himself after. Maybe a certain human could teach him some new things?

Personally: Truly a loser, but in a totally hot way! A little bit obnoxious about the things he likes. Total “glass half-full” and “Life is beautiful” type guy. If you don’t want a man who’ll obsess over everything he likes, including you, Doc might not be for you.

Looks: He never really leaves his house, ONLY because he’s strictly against changing out of his Angel form. A lean, clean man. Decently hairy, but well dressed and mannered. Usually dressed formally. Despite his Angel form being on the human-looking side, it is very easy to tell he isn’t human. This is because where his face should be, is a large mouth. Kinky, if you’re into that.

Likes: Reading, human medical supplies, the idea of human doctors, history, the way medicine tastes, surgery supplies, sharp things, blood, pain, human emotions, seeing human organs in books, learning about human anatomy, human touch, hygiene, the idea of soulmates,

Dislikes: Accidentally drooling on things, when people are angry at him, when people are scared of him, having to leave his Angel form, rude people, ignorance,

Relationships: Halo (Colleague, great friends), Lili (Colleague, friendly acquaintances)

Percy

Species: Shapeshifting parasite (Made up parasite names are “Happy Tick”, “Paradise Parasite”, and “Pleasure Pinworm”)

Gender: Male (Fluid, can present as anything it wants)

He/it (Presents as male to blend in with humans but “it” would be more accurate to what he is)

Backstory: Once upon a time, a man and a parasite, mimicking a woman, fell in love. Then, they had three beautiful, healthy children. Er… wait, sorry, no. That’s incorrect. Sometime a few decades ago, a parasite found its way into a male host. Then, three little parasites were born from their mother’s corpse, living inside their host father’s stomach. They had their very first meal, eating their way out of the male human before devouring him entirely. (Read Luis’ backstory for more) Sadly, one little parasite only got the scraps. Because of its early malnutrition, whenever it goes into a human form, it never looks quite right. But, you’d love him regardless of looks, right?

Personality: It’s hard to say whether starvation gave Percy his… eccentric personality, or if that’s just how he is. It’s hard to say, mostly because he’s the only one of his specific type of parasite. Percy is a lot of things. Creepily always happy, easy to find annoying, easily excitable, easily harmful, easily manipulated, easily teachable. There are no words I could put to describe the boyfriend Percy would be, but he wouldn’t be a very good one. At least not without a lot of teaching and punishments first. If you like kinky things that specifically have to do with your blood, you’ll like Percy. If you like guys who’ll be on their knees begging one moment and then bitting the hell out of you the next, you’ll like Percy.

Looks: In his natural state, one he’s really only in when inside a host, he’s basically a big glob of black goop.

Human form: Tall, inhumanly so. His limbs are just slightly too long for his body. Percy is sickly pale and uncomfortably thin. He smiles almost all the time, which would be cute if he didn’t look like a rabid dog when he smiles. He has long oily looking black “hair”. His “skin” is impenetrable, making him basically unable to be hurt. This, however, makes it so he does not at all understand human pain.

Likes: Drinking blood in a definitely not erotic way, seeing blood, tasting blood, smelling blood, blood. Also inflicting pain, not because he’s a bad guy, but because he genuinely doesn’t understand it and just likes peoples reactions to it.

Dislikes: Being starved, not having a host, his sister most times, being bullied, when humans can tell he’s not human, when humans don’t enjoy the pain he gives them, not understanding things, not knowing things, being compared to vampires,

Relationships: Luis (Brother, decent relationship), Sylvia (Sister, strained),

𝕃𝕦𝕚𝕤

Species: Shapeshifting Parasite (Made up names are “Fluster Flies”, “Love Bug”, and “Kissing Bug”)

Gender: Male (As close to cis as a genderless parasite can get)

He/she (Unlike his sister, he could not give two fucks about what people see him as)

Backstory: (Read Percy’s backstory for more) Growing up, the three parasite siblings were the human equivalent to orphans. Their species was made to be like this, of course. But that fact didn’t make their life easier. The siblings had to do all sorts of terrible things. Such as, steal, scam, assault, kill, kill, kill… Okay.. in their defense, a parasites gotta eat something! It was merciful to spare all those people having to live as unwilling hosts.

Personally: Unlike his… certainly interesting brother and strict sister, Luis is much calmer. He’s quiet, but that’s just because he’s used to blending into the background of his siblings. Very causal, but not with dating. Dating is serious for a parasite, it means they have to be willing to let their faulty humanity slip in front of their host. Luis is ready for commitment, let’s hope you are too.

Looks: Nobody knows what his parasite form looks like. Human form looks nothing like siblings because of their species differences. About average height, looks pretty short next to Sylvia and Percy, though. Luis is the most meaty out of the three, mostly because he’s the best at catching hosts. The guy is pretty cute, especially for a parasite. Especially next to Percy. Agh, anyways. He usually keeps his hair pretty short, also unlike the other two. Definitely more human-like compared to Percy.

Likes: When his siblings don’t fight, when Sylvia’s in a good mood, the relationships human siblings typically have, feeding on people’s lust, feeding on people’s human emotions, being alone, being outside, being compared to vampires,

Dislikes: Crowds, touchy people, fights, blood, perverts, being poor, having to kill for food, his “father”, death,

Relationships: Percy (Sibling, fine relationship), Sylvia (Sister, neutral relationship),

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐧

Species: Zombie

Gender: Nonbinary (Doesn’t understand human gender but is fine with whatever he’s seen as)

He/she/they (Doesn’t really care)

Backstory: Long ago, a woman found out she had the misery of never being able to have children. Fortunately, she knew a little magic. When about twelve men and women died, Shawn was born, sewn from their flesh and filled with salt to slow the process of decay. Unfortunately, since his “birth”, his mother was killed for her actions and he’s now slowly rotting away. Maybe you and him could go dig up his mother’s old spell book.

Personality: Shawn was once as happy as a kid could be. He danced, and sung, and did everything a normal kid would. Then his mother died. He was left alone for years. He’s been adopted by a new caregiver, but he’s not the same. He’s quiet, he’s a shut-in. Maybe you could bring some of his happiness back.

Looks: Shawn is pretty handsome, for sewn together corpses anyway. His hair is choppy and different colors, ranging from blonde to black. Since his mother’s death, no one has been able to treat him properly to slow the process of rot, so he’s missing his right leg. He has a wheelchair, although he much prefers to use his crutches.

Likes: His mother, animals, being alone, the forest, nature, old houses that smell a little weird, TV, reading, art, poetry, old things, cooking, cleaning, helping out,

Dislikes: Insects, rotting, death, having to rely on other people, old people, being forgotten, the people his mother killed, the people who killed his mother,

Relationships: Jane (Caregiver, neutral), Linsey Abigail (Mother, very close)

Gᵣₐₙₜ

Species: Siren

Gender: Cis male

He/him (Lol he’s one of the few actually cis characters I have)

Backstory: Grant was like any other siren. Growing up with no parents, he had no one to lead him. He had to watch humans just to figure out how to live! This, perhaps, is what gave him a superiority complex of thinking of himself like a god. Man or god, Grant is terrible. A true fixer-upper, if you will.

Personality: Although Grant is selfish, apathetic, and quite frankly stupid, the title of “Grant the God if Greed” he gave himself is quite appropriate. He ain’t no god, but he loves to be greedy. It’s really sad, though. Being so heartless means no one likes him, and that means he’s alone all the time. Maybe he’d share his riches with you, but you gotta at least entertain his pathetic ass first.

Looks: You know the human tale of half-fish, half-human? Well, that is true for mermaids and mermen, but not sirens. Sirens are pretty human, actually. Well, except the gills, and discolored skin, and fins, and fish tail sticking out of their backside. For a siren, Grant is pretty human looking. Which helps when he has to blend in to steal. He has rich, golden eyes and choppy brown hair. He’s not a young siren, so don’t expect Prince Charming. His clothes are usually dirty, and no amount of stolen jewelry he wears covers that.

Likes: Eating fish, stealing from pirates, getting away with stealing, jewelry, being viewed as superior, shiny things, gold, the ocean, his cave, his treasure, how simple and fragile humans are, raw meat,

Dislikes: When his plans backfire, getting hurt, humans finding out he’s not human, being out of water too long, when it’s mermaid breeding season, mermaid/mermen,

Relationships: None (He’s a loser)

#monster x you #monster x human #monster x reader #monster x y/n #monster #male monster #character x y/n #character x you #character x reader #original character #writing #monster fucker #fanfic #fallen angel #angel x reader #parasite #shapeshifter #shapeshifter x reader

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ae-azile · 5 months ago

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About 15k into Chapter 29 of Progression, so I figured I would share another scene as an apology for my tardiness. Definitely going to be a long chapter, unless I split it. Trying not to do that though.

The Updated and Still Complicated Family Group Chat

Khun: Arm and I are embarking for our trip tomorrow night! You know what that means!!!!!! 🪨🍃😈🥬🟫

Nalin: Weed brownie night?!?

Arm: Please tell me you didn't add my younger sisters to this group chat.

Khun: Well, I didn't add Preeda! She went to rehab! 😱 Mustn’t tempt her. But of course I added Nalin! If Macau and Chay can be in the group chat, then she can be too!

Nalin: Don't be sexist, Hia. 🙂

Vegas: Someone needs to watch my baby.

Pete: Why is she only your baby when you talk about her?

Vegas: Because she's mine.

Malai: Someone needs to watch my babies too. I want to join.

Hansa: I don't mind watching the girls.

Vegas: Is my baby included with these girls?

Hansa: Sure. 🙂

Vegas: I want six references, your resume, and a background check.

Hansa: By tonight?

Macau: Hia, she owns a flower arrangement and gardening shop. Chill.

Vegas: I am chill. And reasonable.

Pol: I can sit out and help with the girls too. 🙂

Vegas: You can also give me six references, a resume, and a background check. 🙂

Pete: It's literally Pol.

Vegas: I don't know him like you do.

Pete: Consider me his and Hansa’s first reference.

Khun: Consider me their second! 2️⃣🥈🕑

Porsche: I'm their fourth!

Chay: Hia, you skipped a number.

Porsche: He wouldn't have even noticed if you hadn't pointed it out, brat. 🙄

Chay: Sorry. I guess I will fill in the third spot, then.

Kim: I’ll fill the fifth.

Chay: Hia, switch spots with Kim so we can be next to each other.

Porsche: No. I went out of order and called fourth for a reason. It's mine. 😏

Macau: I’ll take the sixth spot so Chay can't grab it!

Porsche: Good thinking, Macau!

Kim: ?

Chay: 😤 🖕🏽

Vegas: Macau, just because you are close with Nalin doesn't mean you know her sister well enough to be her reference.

Arm: Define “close”.

0272781005: I’ll call second!

Kinn: Whose number is this?

Khun: I demand that you reveal yourself!!! Arm! Do a search and find out who this intruder is. 😡

Arm: It's a number provided from a text app.

Arm: The text came from the property.

Khun: PA?!?!?!?

0272781005: Nam. 🙂

Porsche: MA?!?!?!?

Chay: MA?!?!?!?

Khun: Everyone stop! It might be Pa playing a trick to test us! Play it cool!

Khun: Oh, silly Pa! You know Namphueng can't talk! She sits there and says and does nothing! Such a bore! 🥱

0272781005: If Korn enters chat, I will stab. 😌

Pol: 😳 That sounded like her.

0272781005: Hi, son!

Porsche: Ma?

Chay: Ma?

0272781005: I am adopting Pol soon. When I have answers. He's my future son. He already knows. I told him. Accept, thanks.

Porsche: Wow.

0272781005: He has no family! Sad for him! Sucky life. 😢

Pol: Wow.

Chay: Kim and I just got back from walking Koda and checked on Ma. Who gave her an ipad?

Arm: Not me.

Kinn: Not me.

Porsche: Not me.

Vegas: Not me.

Kim: Not me.

Chay: Kim, you told me you didn't in person. You didn't have to text it.

Kim: I just wanted to make sure Porsche knew.

Porsche: Aw, Kim. I feel so close to you recently. ❤️

Kinn: 🤨

Chay: 🤨

Pol: Not me!

Hansa: Not me.

Pete: Not me.

Malai: Not me, but Korn has infringed on her rights and she deserves communication with the outside world, despite the power he still holds over everyone.

0272781005: Friend. 🙂

Hansa: Malai, his sons are in this group.

Kim: We agree with her, it's fine.

Khun: I also agree that Namphueng should have all of the technology she wants! 😤

Khun: But I didn't give it to her either.

Arm: I am also in agreement that she should have a way to reach us, but also didn't give her the iPad.

Kinn: You sure? You have the most access to extra technology in the compound.

Khun: IF YOU ARE ACCUSING MY BOYFRIEND OF ANYTHING, I WILL RUIN YOU!!!!

Nalin: Fine. Preeda and I got it for her. She's our lesbian ma. 🥺

0272781005: Daughter!

Porsche: Ma, please. Nalin, while that was a nice gift, Chay and I should have been informed prior to her getting something like that. We have to be very careful around Korn.

Nalin: She promised to be careful with it! We downloaded some digital art apps! If Korn does happen to see her use it, Preeda plans on telling him that she downloaded the apps she uses for art so Nam can try new mediums!

Macau: They were being thoughtful. And they're right. Nam deserves to have a way to reach out to any of us, anytime she needs.

Nalin: 🥹 🩵

Macau: 🩵

Arm: 🤨

Chay: I think they're right, Hia. She deserves a way to reach out to us. She's gotten a lot better and she would be able to talk to Fern, Vegas, Pete, and Macau whenever she isn't at their house. It's time.

0272781005: I already made an email so I can make a YouTube account to subscribe to other lesbians. 🙂

Malai: As you should.

Porsche: Fine, Ma. You can keep the iPad. Just keep it hidden. And be RESPONSIBLE with it.

0272781005: I MADE AN EMAIL.

0272781005: BY MYSELF.

0272781005: 🖕🏻

Porsche: You found the middle finger emoji. Great.

0272781005:🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

0272781005: Glad it's settled. I will bring ipad to weed night. So I can watch YouTube while I'm high.

Porsche: Ma, I don't know if that's a good idea.

0272781005: That's because it's not just good. It's great. Bye. I will get ready now. Meet you in ArmKhun suite.

0272781005: 💃🏻

Khun: How did she add herself to the chat?

Nalin: Preeda probably snuck into your phone and added her. She is the one who programmed everyone’s numbers into the text app.

Hansa: Sounds like Preeda.

Preeda: Sure does. 🙂

Khun: PREEDA! I REMOVED YOU SO WE COULD TALK ABOUT WEED WITHOUT TEMPTING YOU!

Preeda: I never stopped weed.

Malai: Which we don't condone.

Arm: ⬆️ What she said.

Preeda: You hypocrites are literally all gathering at Vegas’s to get high tonight. 🖕🏻

Preeda: I'm joining.

Khun: But you're so young…

Preeda: If I am not invited, then I will go hang out with Korn. Willingly. All night. Just for fun.

Khun: Ew!

Preeda: Your choice. 🤷‍♀️ Bye. 💃

Vegas: Just invite her.

Macau: Yeah, I would prefer her giggling because of a weed brownie than having a self-inflicted all-nighter with Uncle Korn. 😳

#kimchay fic #kimchay fanfic #progression spoilers #progression 29 #progression preview #armkhun fic #ofcs #macauofc

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never-forget-official · 1 month ago

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(copypasted from discord announcement lol)

hey everyone! i hope you all are doing well!!

i uh, didn't wanna have to do this but. unfortunately my mental health is, not great and hasn't been for a couple months; i've been going through severe burnout with writing among other things and just. i think i really need a break from having to worry about it and pressuring myself to get a chapter done because it's really making my life just, kinda sucky right now. i might still create things and do little fun projects on the side, maybe write down some ideas or just. something, but i'm not going to be consistent with it nor try to strive to finish something on a deadline.

not that i've been consistent with updates EVER, but i probably won't post anything substantial in a while unless i like, have a random burst of inspiration or something (like with the ventfic above lmbo, that was the only thing that's made the exception so far). this also means i have no clue when UTDC will be next updated but that's, kinda how it's always been with that fic in particular regardless of hiatus or not, so jfkfdhkdj i wouldn't say it's being put on hiatus itself, i think i'd say I'M personally taking hiatus from writing until i can get back to normal and regain my confidence and just, love what i do most again--which is creating stories for others and myself to enjoy. hope you all understand and thanks for reading and just, being here. love you guys 💙

so. until then hehe ;D

kfdjfkJKH SORRY edit: no i'm not i've decided, this is what you came for

#never forget series #until that day comes

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halles-notebook · 5 months ago

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Hiiiii again!! It's me. The Spiderman person. 🤭 I've finally worked up the courage to request something! 🥹 If it's okay with you, I was thinking of maybe some fluffy headcannons of Spiderman🙆 I do feel like the real main difference between the characters is their age. Tom feels like a high schooler, and then Andrew is more of like a college guy if that makes sense 🤷‍♀️ because in their movies, Tom was always seen as a kid by the other avengers and Andrew's Peter went off to college which is kinda why I think I prefer him over Tom. Besides the whole love for Andrew Garfield that I just have. Sorry for the rambling!! I hope it's alright that I said all that😅 Feel free to completely ignore me if this is too much🙆

fluffy spider-man headcannons (andrew’s)

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

a/n: hey hun!! you don’t need to apologize at all, i love the request and feel free to chat with me whenever! i’m so sooo sorry it took me so long, i just made a post mentioning how i took a small break but i hope you enjoy this <33

warnings: veryyy brief mention of blood, nothing else?? super soft🎀

summary: just some fluffy headcannons for andrew’s peter ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

since he loves photography he would definitely snap pictures of you when you least expect it😭 just laughed at a joke your friend said? captured. focused on your homework? deserves a pic. cuddled up with a pillow? you best believe that one’s going in his wallet.

you cannot convince me that when this man shows up at your window all bloody and in need of patching up he doesn’t have the super guilty kicked-puppy expression on😞 he knows you hate it when he gets roughed up but it’s kind of spider-man’s job!!

will 100% try to teach you how to skateboard and promises you that his spidy-senses will stop you from falling before you even know your going to fall. caught you about ten times before bro gave up😭

he will send you spider-man selfies from 100 feet up in the air just to let you know he’s thinking about you <33 (you always text him back saying to watch his surroundings. does he listen? no.)

if there’s a super crazy villain on the loose he will try to text you updates whenever he can to ease your worrying (it doesn’t work but it’s the thought that counts!!)

i feel like it’d be so super important to him that you and aunt may are besties!!🤍 if he comes home and you and may are laughing in the kitchen his life is complete.

physical touch is 100% his love language. he loves to just be held after a sucky day.

he is constantly worried about your safety because of your connection to him. if you are anywhere near a fight then he can’t focus on anything else until you’re out of harms way.

cinnamon roll to the max🤍

#spiderman #andrew garfield #peter parker #blurb #headcannons #fluff #spiderman headcanon #oneshot #fanfic

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polyamorousmood · 6 months ago

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BESTIIIIIIIIE Hi. Tis I the dnd anon. Haven't updated in a while sadly, though life is as nice as it can be in this cruel reality. But I just had experienced a thing that I thought I'd never experience, let me add a little bit of context:

So I met this girl at a party where we saw off our friend who was moving away. It was nice, the friend in question was part of my dnd group and even though we never actually became partners we were in this space in between friends and more so we are very openly affectionate with each other and our partners including kissing in public. The fact that were polyamorys being very out there in the open for everyone present.

And I got friendly with this girl we started texting, flirting, I'm a very affectionate person in general so I allowed the hugs and kisses and all that. It was fine I genuinely thought that it's like a friendly affection type of thing for her too. Then in one moment she goes from 0 to 100 telling me how she likes me, praising me, calling me pet names. Honestly I was already unnerved with this sudden attempt to start like talking-talking (?). And at the top of it all suddenly she drops a big glorious "I want you to be just my good boy". A cowgirl. She's a fucking cowgirl. The audacity is unreal because just yesterday I was talking to her about how I love my partners and explaining how it works for an aromantic person like me and (⁠╯⁠°⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻. And then when I said that never on my life will I shove myself into a monogamous relationship she hit me with the ol "I just don't understand why would you need more than one partner". Well iii don't understand whyyyyy you're trying to get with a person so fucking explicitly poly if you don't understand it. Flabbergasted and offended. The nerveeeee.

Have you ever had the experience of finding out that a person you were talking to was a cowboy/girl/person?? I'd be glad to hear anyone's story if you guys have one.

Anyways hope you're having a good day(⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

I blessedly have not (since I committed to the poly thing) had anyone be pushy about "you should really only date meeee UwU". I've had a couple potentials be like "I can't handle this poly thing, so if you can't date me exclusively, I can't date you 🤷‍♀️" but that's a different beast entirely.

I can only imagine how frustrating that is. Any affection I had for them would immediately drain into the fucking dirt. There's a difference between "having an unrealistic hope but you may as well shoot your shot" and "what if... 😈 3-for-1 homewrecker special". Like the first one is a sucky enough situation onit's own, but the latter... goddamn what is your PROBLEM. Get a HOBBY. Its pathetic.

#ask box is always open #Dnd anon #Poly problems

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invaliowat · 10 months ago

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"Ron honestly had no idea what he was doing.

He felt more out to sea than he’d ever been in his entire life and he had since he’d opened his eyes that morning.

Y’know, two mornings after he had learned his father was dying.

Two morning’s after he had told Nick about his whole sordid life story and somehow, by some miracle they’d gotten through it. All Nick had done at the end of Ron recounting his oldest scars, wounds he hoped he’d never have to catalogue for another person again, was kiss him firmly and look at him lovingly and tell Ron that he was fucking proud of him for God’s sakes.

He thought it might get better, that the overwhelming feeling of unmoored-ness might go away when he had actually gotten up.

(It hadn’t.)"

Alternatively: Ron goes to see his father, Nick is there every step of the way, Bradley is supporting from afar and Maverick and Ron are still passing each other like ships in the night.

Featuring: Admiral Kerner being awful, Nick being the best fucking person alive, Ron hurting but being so brave about it, living through trauma and getting closure, and more of Brad and Ron being sweet.

AGAIN PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE FOR CONTENT WARNINGS!!

ON WARNINGS: all previous warnings on chapter one still apply and my message is the same - there isn't any explicit homophobia but there are discussions of familial relationships and trauma, all of which surround Ron's dad being kinda sucky in general but specifically surrounding his sexuality. No slurs or anything explicit, but it causes Ron a lot of pain and turmoil and it is extensively discussed in this fic. He gets closure so that helps but does not negate the pain. AGAIN if any of that sounds triggering to you PLEASE DON'T READ. I will say that there is a lot of important context in here, but you should in no shape or form hurt yourself to read this. I trust y'all to make that determination for yourself.

Some new ones too: there is discussion of Slider having sex for the first time while drunk. This is murky water in terms of consent (as in it is *not* consent) but it makes sense within the context of the story. I.e we have another content warning for sexual assault even though Ron did a) want to have sex and b) was not coerced into having sex. HIs feelings of turmoil surround his sexuality and what the sexual act means for his confrontation of that - not the sex itself. EITHER WAY PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN READING.

I think that's all of it but yeah. I probably forgot something and i'm trying really hard to remember but give me some grace if I miss something. I will update it.

Other than that (I know right??) thanks for reading and *please* enjoy

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angelpuns · 1 year ago

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Oooo! Ranting anon loves the new update, new tracker??? V cool, but, positivity time! I'm not gonna lie, everybody sucks, you suck, I suck, everybody does. But what matters is that you don't suck at everything. There will always be something you're just a little better at than someone, and there will always be something your a little worse at than someone. And that's just life! You suck, and its great! It's fun to be awful at something, it makes doing that thing with someone else who maybe is on the same level as you, super fun! It's the same with being sad, I love being sad because at least it's something, I'd much rather be miserable than be numb. Feeling things is fuckin awesome! Sometimes too many feelings are horrible, but so are too little. Things fluctuate, that includes feelings and skills. That fluctuation is being human and it's super fuckin fun to be human, it's like, wow! I'm a person, and so are they! The feelings and skills and traits of humans are so frickin cool and you should be proud of them!!!! Being sad or happy are great because their feelings, and feelings are awesome!!!! 10/10 people rate being human as awesome, as they should. I'll admit, it sucks a lot of the time, put that's the ride, no roller coaster is exciting 100% of the time, the lows are what makes the highs so amazing! Being a person is awesome! Be proud of being sucky and amazing, or angry and happy, it's super fun when you step back and think about it! <3 <3 <3 Virtual highfives for all!

Hehehehe perhaps >:)

Everyone should read this cause it's nice!!!! And a good reminder!!!

#and frankly i probably needed a reminder #that feelings can be nice #teehee

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lemoncrushh · 1 year ago

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a sad little life update...

hi friends. I know Tumblr isn't always the best place to post about personal shit, but I feel the need to let some things out, and if you wondered why I've been MIA...

a few weeks ago, I got fired from my job. it was a sucky job, I didn't really like it, but it was close to where I live and it had health insurance. I'd only been there since January. the ironic thing is it was a mental health treatment center. but the owner didn't give a shit about the mental health of his own employees. he just wanted to make money. I ended up sending a long email about how I felt working there and what I was unhappy with (I won't go into those details here). a week later the HR lady told me they were letting me go. not the boss. not my supervisor. nobody else talked to me.

in the meantime (actually the day before), I had reconnected through Facebook with an old high school boyfriend. we exchanged numbers and chatted every day. he had been going through his own shit, but had a new outlook on life, positivity and all that. so he told me he wanted to help me. he lives three hours from me, and he even offered to let me live with him and get a job there. so anyway, he invited me to come visit for a weekend, and I was so excited. although we both agreed not to have any expectations (just see how it goes), we flirted all the time. for the first time in a really long time, I was feeling happy.

when I got to his place, I didn't notice the change at first. but that night he pretty much rejected me. we kissed, but he said we shouldn't "do anything reckless." I was like what?? I let it go because I knew he was tired (he works nights and had been killing it all week). the next day, although he wasn't really standoffish, I kept getting the feeling he was entering the friend zone. that night, he rejected me again (gave me some lame friend excuse), and I cried my eyes out. the next morning he asked if we were okay, but I told him I didn't know. honestly, I couldn't even look at him knowing he didn't want me. so I left. I cried almost the whole way home.

he'd told me to text him when I got home, so I did. but he didn't reply. I kept texting him, but I got nothing. when I finally heard from him, he said he was "giving me space". I told him I didn't want space, I wanted to talk. I couldn't tell if he was angry at me for leaving, or at himself for rejecting me, but I think it's the latter. we had even had a discussion at his place about how I hate when guys ghost me. but that's exactly what he's doing. he told me he was "attracted to my heart and my mind", something about my potential. That was over a week ago. Last Wednesday is the last time I heard from him. I'd asked him what I could do to make things better. he said to let him finish his day and catch up on what I wrote. he has not texted me since, even though I've sent a few more messages.

I feel so pathetic. if it was just some random guy, I probably would have just shaken it off and moved on. but because we had history, and because he'd seemed so adamant (and excited) about helping me, I just feel so lost and confused. my heart hurts so bad. some days are worse than others. today was the worst because I went back and read some of our old conversations. how could he say those things and then take it all back?

when he knew me before, I barely weighed 100 pounds. I have gained another 80 since then. I told him I was fat. he argued I wasn't. but I think once he saw me in person he was disappointed. he was probably trying to let me down easy, hoping we could still be friends. but it ended up biting him in the ass because I got upset and called him on it. he's choosing to ignore me rather than admit the truth because then he'd be the asshole. that is the only explanation that makes any kind of sense to me.

anyway, sorry for the rambling. in the meantime, I'm still living at my ex's house, still trying to find a job. I'm still waiting for my bankruptcy to be filed (just a couple things left to do, but it's taking forever), and I have no money.

because of all this shit, I have had no motivation to do any writing, or even reading. I'm so sorry. I just can't even bring myself to think about it.

rejection seems to be following me everywhere. in my teens, I was always rejected by guys I liked because I was a virgin and they didn't wanna be my first. when I finally found someone, he rejected me a week later to go back to his ex. my own ex husband didn't wanna marry me at first. now that I'm older, men don't want me because of my age or my body. I get rejected for jobs because I don't have a four year degree or the experience they want or I'm too old. I've never been anyone's favorite. never been anyone's first choice.

I had really hoped this old boyfriend connection was kismet. that we had come full circle and were supposed to help each other (even though I never believed in that sort of thing before). I'm so heartbroken :(. it hurts.

#personal #read if you want

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blastingtowardsbluerskies · 9 months ago

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[Offscreen Post]

Blue barely gave the clock a thought as LEDs burned a bright color of the time and date. Her brow was furrowed as she held her hair out of her face, a budding headache behind her eyes as she scrolled. Whatever she could find, she filed them into her mind. She knew she shouldn’t stay awake too long. She wouldn’t be able to handle two all nighters. Even the Evolver had her limits and she wasn’t exactly a fan of knowing that. Blue knew it, Green knew it, Yellow knew it as she overused his powers, and even Red knew it when he hit his ultimate spiral with Deoxys. She could probably count the juniors too of their limits reached and she wouldn’t have enough hands to do so.

Everyone had a limit. They could be scraped, dodging debris and attacks of the elements thrown at them, having the wind whip their face, and stand victorious but they were only human.

And was being human sucky. Blue knew how to be radio operator. She was cheery and sweet when she wanted to be and she could lie through her teeth without as much wavering that sly smile. She could file anything in her head and save that information for later. She was a quick thinker. Her being raised to be a weapon as a little girl had some perks, even if the trauma was lifelong.

Blue hated that part. Her triggers were mostly handled, she wasn’t afraid of the birds that reminded her of the worst thing that happened to her, her family was ripped away in front of her eyes and she still stood up on two shaky legs in the middle of the night, and she knew she couldn’t undo what had happened to her, marching on anyways.

So why it hurt so badly to see it again, that was a mystery. Maybe it’s because it was some worst fears come to life. Something that would haunt her nightmares. Blue’s ‘normal’ meter was… broken, to say the least, but she thought she had made peace with it.

Her old desperations of being a normal child with hopes and dreams and a normal family also hit her in the gut, knocking the wind out of her. It made her teeth grit. It made her want to scream. This was unfair. And she knew that sentiment better than anyone.

She tended not to question deus ex machina things anymore, but this… she wasn’t sure how or why she came across all this, but in a way she was thankful for it. There were people. There were good people that saw a poor boy suffering. They wanted to help. They needed to help. And they were going to do their damndest. All of it weighed heavy on her mind but she was Blue. If anyone could do it, it was this little ragtag team of internet strangers, as funny as it sounded. She knew ragtag teams by now. They weren’t exactly internet strangers- given she had met them in person- but she felt a weird sense of nostalgia for huddling all together.

It wasn’t in a, say, building falling down, but it might as well mentally be. Physically, most of them were safe. Well, she hoped anyways. She didn’t have much of a way of knowing other than status updates that were a bit concerning to say the least. Still, her eyes felt heavier as the strange nostalgia hit her mind. She was tired, very tired. She didn’t have time to rest. And yet her body betrayed her mind. Blue knew she had her limits.

In time, things would be okay. They would make them be. And if they weren’t…? Blue had a major complaint to the universe that it wouldn’t be able to ignore.

#not ic #//OOC; i might be a bit insane. over thjs.#//OOC: also idk what time she’s in bc I haven’t finished her getting out of a statue yet lmao. girl is timeline limbo.#//OOC: love this manga. I will make fun of it a little.#//OOC: this is all memory too if I got anything wrong uhhh no I didn’t.#//OOC: it’s definitely not 2 am.

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chronicbeans · 2 years ago

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Random Tales from the Iolite Hospital Info Dump (Aluminum and Dr. Cogsworth Edition)

because whenever I feel sucky I think about this story, mainly these two gremlins. Lol. This includes both info for in story stuff and kinda the creation of these characters, because I just found them interesting to talk about in general. Also this has turned out long as heck so I am writing most of this with my good, painless arm, in case anyone is concerned about me pushing myself. OwO

TW: Chronic Illness, Hospital Setting/Doctors, Mentions of Stalking, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma, Mentions of Possible PTSD, Age Regression Due to Trauma

Aluminum:

He's a little bean that's been with me a good long while before the story was conceived. He actually started out as a random character I would draw to cope with whatever came about in my life (mostly my chronic illness diagnosis, lol. Hence the fact we have the same illness). I usually drew him age regressing, in a sort of "I want to cope via this, but I have nothing to do so, so I shall cope through drawing this small man here doing those activities" sorta way. It actually tricked one of my friends into thinking he was like... 11 instead of 27 because I only drew him regressing. Once I realized I wanted to write a story with him to kinda bring awareness to what my experiences with chronic illness are like, I knew I had to work on his character outside of age regression more, so it has actually become a rather small part of his character at the moment.

In case some couldn't tell, he shares some of my own experiences with me, mostly the severity of his case of eosinophilic esophagitis and his experiences with it. I usually don't really like when authors put too many irl experiences into fictional works or main characters, not because I think they are like... being full of themselves or anything, since a lot of the times I have seen it done, it is to express their own feelings on a topic or because the book was entirely about their own life with a hint of fantasy in it. It just isn't my cup of tea to read, but I respect those who enjoy writing that way or consuming that content. However, due to my story dealing with a lot of sensitive topics like chronic illness and trauma, I kinda decided to have Aluminum share some of my experiences with chronic illness, due to me actually having experience with that specific illness so I can have the main focus being something I can more accurately write for than say... Epilepsy, which I don't have. A lot of his personality traits, though, are original. He is more prone to outbursts of extreme emotion, such as anger or sadness, as well as more open about everything he feels. He is also just more sociable in certain ways. While he won't approach people, the second you talk to him, he will be pretty open about the most random of things. He wanders around more often, be more prone to making assumptions, and can be a bit of a jerk at times, especially when he doesn't mean to be one.

Aluminum, due to being brought into the hospital at 16, never finished high school. He is pretty smart, though. He just doesn't have much info about your basic high school stuff. He has troubles when it comes to math, but when it comes to some random medical fact, he can tell you all about it. This is mostly due to the books in the recreation room mostly involving the conditions others on the C-Floor have, but even before getting put into Iolite Hospital, he researched medical facts so that he could properly take care of a wide variety of kids if he ever got his dream job at a daycare. He doesn't take much time to read about the conditions themselves, mostly hoping for another book on his own so he can keep updated on any news about it, but the most random of facts from them will stick in his mind. He can talk about how photosensitive epilepsy is actually only present in about 3% of epilepsy patients, despite being talked about more often than other types of triggers, like stress, scents, and others. However, if you ask him about say, an algebra problem, he will struggle, no matter how basic it might be.

He's got some pretty strong trauma due to how difficult swallowing pills is for him. Needles have just always been horrifying for him, being made worse due to having to be around one for at least once a week. Pills, however, scare him due to past experiences with them. Nobody would really expect their kid to have a physical condition that causes difficulty swallowing, and since Aluminum always thought the pain of swallowing was a normal thing, he would try to swallow pills. In fact, a lot of the time, his parents would encourage him to try to swallow pills, believing he just had pill anxiety that caused him to swallow it improperly, with a large part of the assumption being that he was diagnosed with anxiety. He always, ALWAYS choked on it or got it lodged in his throat. By now, whenever he so much as thinks of pills, he thinks of all his horrible memories of those events regarding pills, so he avoids them whenever possible. It's not like he can swallow them, anyways, but even crushed pills are frightening, despite him not having to swallow it whole. A few of his doctors and nurses think he might have some mild form of PTSD from those experiences, but since none of them are licensed in the mental health field, they can't be sure. Especially since, either way, he obsessively thinks about a lot of things, and has diagnosed anxiety from before being brought in. So they can't tell if they should treat it like he has PTSD, or anxiety being fed by traumatic events and obsessive thinking.

Aluminum loves mice and deer. Sure, a bit of a strangely specific choice in favorite animals, but he just likes them. He likes mice due to how small they are, as well as the fact that they have been useful in testing related to his illness. He doesn't agree with animal testing, but he can't really stop people from doing it, so he might as well show his appreciation for the species. He likes deer because he finds them pretty. They are also so free out in the wild and one of the most common animals for him to see from the hospital windows. He does get a bit sad when he sees some of the sick deer around the area, which has been getting more and more common, lately. As disturbing as he finds it to think this way, he hopes the very sick deer die, so they don't suffer long. In those moments, he gets lost in a spiral of thoughts, wondering if some people think of him that way.

He has undiagnosed ADHD, with a big part of it being undiagnosed being due to how he got put into the hospital at a relatively young age, and the fact that his anxiety is so bad his therapist couldn't tell if he had ADHD alongside his anxiety, or if his anxiety was so bad it caused ADHD symptoms. Now that he is in the Iolite Hospital, however, he will probably never find out that he has it.

His eosinophilic esophagitis has practically become his identity, but he will always deny it. He knows that it is most likely causing him to just increase his own agony by focusing on it so much and making it a big part of his identity, but he can't help it at this point. He is so focused on the pain and misery it has been causing him, what it stops him from doing, how little people know about it, and anything involving it, that he cannot really see anything else in life. He will, most likely, talk about it to someone he just met, even if he doesn't even know that person's name or anything about them. He says it is because that person needs to know about what foods he can and cannot eat, what it prevents him from doing, etc., but in reality, it is just because he doesn't know how to talk about anything else at this point. Well, the only other thing he knows how to talk about is complaining about everything that has gone wrong in his life, with the main topic still being his chronic illness, but that doesn't really count. It still involves his illness. Any other topic of conversation will get a very short reply from him, as he tries to focus on the conversation, but fails to come up with any reply in response. It would probably go something like "Hey, Aluminum! [INSERT CONVERSATION TOPIC OTHER THAN EOE HERE]. What's your opinion?" "Oh... That's cool... Did you know that my doctor messed up my prescription of dupilumab, again? They freaking rescheduled the next refill again!!! Everything is going wrong!!!"

He knows how he feels, but sucks at explaining it to others verbally. He is pretty good at writing about them, though, but just uses very verbose words compared to most of the other patients, like "malady", "ascertain", or even "phantasmagorical". Due to this, some get confused. Due to Derek having to write down his words, though, he has a pretty large vocabulary, and can tell what Aluminum is trying to say.

Dr. Cogsworth:

First thing first: this man is like... completely contradictory in some ways by design. He runs on strict systems, like how the healthcare system in my country works. For many outsiders, if feels like healthcare providers think "If A is found out, B should be done first. The C factor in the patient's health chart, be it a predisposition to condition D or a bad reaction to B, then we still go with it, taking great care while doing so, despite all the bad that might happen. The patient's emotions only matter if they are causing problems with treatment." Although that is not entirely the case, it can still happen, and is mostly how the Iolite Hospital works. So, that is how Dr. Cogsworth works, due to being designed for it. He looks at things with less of an emotional point of view, seeing things more logically and objectively, despite that logic being broken from time to time.

The contradictory part comes in from him genuinely seeing flaws in both his own design and the design of the hospital's system. No two patients are the same, so not everyone will respond to the same treatments well. So they should treat each patient differently. He doesn't understand his own emotions, though, so it is so hard to understand the emotions of others. From simply knowing why a patient feels bad to trying to read body language, he is absolutely clueless. The most he knows is "frown is bad, smile is good. Why tf are none of my patients smiling?" His attempts at comfort usually always fail, with the few that do succeed only succeeding due to the person desiring a response based on cold logic rather than emotional comfort. When trying to copy others who can give an emotional sort of comfort, it still fails, because his gestures, actions, and words not feeling as though they are done with sincerity. He may be doing the right things, but it is not out of an understanding for the person's emotional state, but simply because he has seen those actions work before.

On the topic of him seeing others doing things... he is like... stalking Aluminum and his friends. Mostly Aluminum, but he does stalk his friends to try to understand what Aluminum wants out of a companion in terms of comfort. It is not necessarily being done out of any obsession with Aluminum or his friends as people, either, though that is a part of the reason. It is almost entirely out of a desire to comfort patients better, to understand how they feel being stuck in the Iolite Hospital, to just... Understand patients, in general. Aluminum just so happens to be the most outspoken one, but never to Dr. Cogsworth. To Dr. Cogsworth, he mostly spits out pure frustration, with next to no intelligible information. To his friends, however, he gives a lot of emotional details, complete thoughts, and more information that Dr. Cogsworth sees as "reliable and useful for research". Even in this situation, however, he fails to defeat the system. So, he will follow Aluminum or his friends around the hospital whenever he has free time, even trying to wriggle his way into his presence during moments when someone else should be present (such as how administering medication should be done by a nurse, and not the GI doctor themself). By relying on Aluminum as the only basis for a patient, he fails to see that not every patient will have the same thoughts, opinions, personality and experiences as Aluminum. Something that Aluminum seeks out for comfort may only worsen another's distress.

He doesn't know why his emotions are blocked. As mentioned a few other times, he has emotions, but just cannot properly express or recognize them. The most he is able to do is talk about how the emotions make him feel physically, which doesn't do much. A racing heart (or in his case, music box) can mean a wide variety of things, like love, anxiety, embarrassment, fear, anger... So everyone is still confused. Unknown to him, a large amount of the time he simply feels apathetic, which could be contributing to his lack of emotional recognition skills, alongside the fact that outside of appointments, he barely gets any true social interaction. The day to day life of going through the same motions involved in appointments hasn't given him much emotional stimulation and what little he did get, he has become entirely numbed from feeling it so often.

#tales from the iolite hospital #my ocs are my babies #My ocs #info dump

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webslingingslasher · 1 year ago

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i feel like you’re the only person i can ask this without being judged and possibly enjoy the messiness of it idk so here goes this…i have a crush on a married man (he’s 23 and i’m 24) and i hate it so much i want to stop thinking about him but i’m so delusional i keep thinking maybe i have a chance with him because his wife left him but they’re still legally married. i’m always checking her instagram just so i can get an update. she’s always shading him with drake lyrics and apparently he loves her a lot. i feel so awful like this is so ooc for me like why would i have a crush on a married man…like of course i hope they don’t get divorced and fix their relationship like they deserve to be happy but i secretly hope they divorce too…how do i stop being an awful person who wishes that?

no judgement from me bestie. tbh, i was feeling the tea but then u said they're seperated. babe, that's free game.

married/seperated is hard. i've seen this first hand, he gave her the time of her life & when she fell hard his wife wanted to work things out and he went back.

cause, it's always 'fuck him!' until he moves on, then they're ready to 'work it out.'

you're not an awful person for wanting them to fail. you like a guy and he happens to be in a sucky situation. you're setting yourself up to get hurt though, you'd be a rebound and a guilty reminder if they got back together.

i know how it feels to like a coworker that's commited to someone else, and i've done some not so good things with them, but i also know their partner comes first.

----

that aside, has he dropped hints he likes you or flirts? or do you flirt with him & he responds to it? if you're projecting all this it sounds like a healthy fantasy. if he's interested, tbh i'd go for it but be prepared for wost possible outcome. (but i'm also a cynical person)

#thanks anon!

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tsuchinokoroyale · 2 years ago

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do you have any fav webcomics rn? or any webcomics you'd recommend?

At the risk of being called out as a fake fan I actually don’t read any webcomics 😬 I’ve only actually kept up with one webcomic during the entirety of my life thus far but that was years ago and they stopped updating by the time I discovered the comic 🥲 from what I remember it was about a group of young teenagers dealing with regular young teenager stuff like angst, romance or lack thereof, burgeoning homosexuality, and discovering one of their friends has psychic powers.

My only comic intake comes in the form of manga really. I tried to get into webtoon and there were a few I liked well enough (( the one with cat heads was wild)) but on the whole it felt very… consumer friendly. I’m snobby and pretentious by nature so just telling good narratives doesn’t usually interest me too much. I like things that are particular and messy, where the hand of the author is used to slap you in the face. It’s why Tatsuki Fujimoto is one of my favorite modern mangakas. Fire Punch (( and chainsawman to a lesser degree )) is a FLAMING HOT plate of insane storytelling decisions and breakneck pacing but it’s so idiosyncratic in its insanity that it works for me, even though I don’t actually recommend it to anyone 😂 Obvious jojo fan too like Hirohiko Araki is really out there almost 40 years deep into this manga and still managing to snatch my wig on a monthly basis.

If you’re still looking for a recommendation, I would recommend Land of the Lustrous/ Houseki no Kuni (( or as I affectionately call it Hoe sucky no coochie 😌 <- mature adult moment )), which I don’t see getting as much love on here as it should 😤 I started watching it bc people were like lol anime Steven universe bc it’s about a bunch of androgynous but largely female presenting gems who are stone (( rock joke 😏 )) cold professionals taking care of the youngest gem, a plucky young thing that doesn’t really understand their place in the narrative. The major difference however is that Steven universe is a coming of age story about overcoming trauma while LoL/HnK is a coming of age story about being ground to dust by an unending influx of existential horror 🥹👍 it’s honestly one of the most horrifying stories I’ve read, not cuz it’s like junji ito scary but because of the way the relentless passage of time and the continuous accrual of personal mistakes and self hatred takes our plucky young protagonist and breaks them down to someone completely unrecognizable from where they started.

And not just like figuratively.

This evolution is one of the most heartbreaking character arcs I’ve ever experienced and now I want you to feel my PAIN 🥲👍 There is one season (( 🥹 )) of anime which has one of the best implementations of 3D anime I’ve seen from a company without ufotable’s budget. I’d start out with the anime which is really well done and then switch over to the mango 🥭 (( which is still ongoing ))

#if you’re looking for a more biased recommendation you can read my webcomic which will receive its first page dump later this week 😌#asked and answered babey!

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roving-boi · 1 year ago

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Dear Diary

I spent the weekend with my mom for my birthday. she picked me up and took me to the county fair which is inconveniently located right across the street from my school. So of course everyone from school was there. Not a big deal, I got to say hi to some school friends and still had a blast. It’s just a little sucky to run into familiar faces sometimes. I don’t really like the town I currently live in, scenery wise it’s alright. I like the small town vibe and stuff I just don’t really like the people themselves.

Anyway it was great and I got to meet an online friend in real life for the first time ever. They actually live not too far away but we never got to meet before. So we just planned to meet up at the fair and then we saw each other and hung out for a few hours. We went on rides together, browsed the shopping stalls, and I even bought him ice cream. He didn’t finish it but he was still quite happy about it so thats fine.

I’ve been writing a book lately, it’s a little far from being finished but I’ve been making progress. I’m hoping all goes well, and I get to have it done this year. I’m a little worried no one is going to read it, but I guess that’s okay. At least I put something out there. It’s this romance fantasy kinda aimed toward anyone looking for escape. The protagonist is this high school boy who is unhappy with their mundane life and one day steps through a mirror that takes them to another reality. They meet this magical bunny person and they kinda fall in love and then yeah. It took a lot of inspiration from deltarune. In case you’re a weirdo who plays indie games and that rung a bell. (No shame though because I think that makes you really cool) im excited to keep going with it but I hope I don’t give up.

Also one of my close friends from school (who I’ll just call Jay.) isn’t my friend anymore. Uh- well let me explain. So basically.. I made a group chat with me and another good friend (who knows jay, but moved away) and I was venting about how I feel like jay mistreats me. I feel like jay ignores me at school and I feel like we just haven’t been really getting along lately at all. Me and my one friend agreed and went back and fourth on our personal opinions regarding jay. Well, there was another friend of mine (who is an online friend, but also knows jay) who was also in the group chat. I guess they took screenshots of everything me and my friend said and sent it to jay. The next day at school, jay blew up at me and told me to never talk to her again. I was like what the fuck.

I trusted my friends and they literally betrayed me and all this drama happened. The reason I didn’t go to jay about anything up front is because I don’t think they would even care or acknowledge it. So I decided to vent to some close friends of mine and thought I could get some comfort. I guess I’m always the bad guy when I speak up about being mistreated. Like that one time my dad was yelling at me and chewing me out for like, no good reason. I told him to “chill” and he blew up oh my god. Yeah. So I never really have the right to say anything. Which you kinda learn to live with, but it’s still gay I guess. So I guess jay and her other little friends have all turned on me. But I don’t really care I don’t need them. It’s still unfair, but if you can’t roll with me then leave I guess.

Anyway, I have one week of school left and then summer. I’ll see what happens i dunno. I’m gonna get some rest. At least I updated and I’m not dead haha

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