#such is the life of a mentally weak weakling~~~~~ i guess…

[deus-ex-mona]

anyways, stream aizo’s first song as shibasaki aizo too, in this trying time

[amive2567]

Ingredients: Katsuki Bakugou x GN!Reader (fem bodied)

Contains: angst, death, reader dies, fluff to angst, mental problems/illness, suicidal thoughts, some dark stuff, pregnancy and a child,

Type of order: coffee (Angst), cupcake (oneshot), small hot chocolate (bit of fluff)

Words: 3259

A/n: I wanted to write angst again, so there it is. A special form this time. Diary entries. I hope you like it :) I recomend listening to All I want by Kodaline for the more painfull experience. ( I don't know how to put songs properly into a post so it looks a bit big, I am sorry)

Masterlist

3579, Musutafu city, Endeavor agency

Hi, shitty book,

today we started our internship at the agency of icy hot`s dad. He is a dipshit, what he did to his family is absolutely crucial, but he is a strong-minded old bastard and an awfully good hero. (But All-Might is far better). He dragged us through whole Musutafu only to tell me how weak I am. Pah, but at least shitty Deku is worse (he didn’t tell us this but I am sure he is). Well, now we get to the point where things get interesting. We met other hero students from Ketsubutsu high. They had their internship at Backdraft’s fire brigade. They were trying to extinguish a burning office building but to no avail. Then the most beautiful person stepped in front, and without our interference, they just extinguished the fire. They were so talented it took my breath away and their H/C hair was just magnificent. (Don’t you dare call me a simp now, because I am not). Well anyways, they were pretty decent locking. We, or Endeavor, talked with Backdraft to discuss the incident. Icy hot, Deku and I just waited, but the shitty nerd had the brilliant idea to talk to this person. Of course, I had to talk to them first. So I shoved Deku aside and started talking to them. I got a lot of information about them, they are annoying and a chatterbox. At least they are kind and somehow stubborn. Their name is Y/N. I hope I will never meet them again. Another person similar to Kirishima would be a pain in my ass.

See ya

3581, Musutafu city, My house

Well, a book full of shitty feelings, I need to tell you a lot. It’s been two years. Shigaraki, AFO, and their goons had to put our world into misery. We fought in a fucking war with 17 and now I feel like an old man. At least all of our classmates survived, even Izuku. The last two years were a rollercoaster of emotions, I really realized now that my behavior was wrong and I put the nerd's life into misery, because of me he has an inferiority complex. I apologized and he accepted, even though he shouldn't have. I was a horrible person, treated people shitty just to get my own will. I nearly died, but who cares. Well after those horrible years, every one of us was forced to go to this stupid psych doctor, and since then I have been a bloody weakling. I cry more often than I want to admit. Argh, it pisses me off. Even though these years have been shitty, I finally met Y/N again. They got more handsome/pretty than before, and we’re visiting the same doc for our shitty PTSD and stuff. Every time after a session we met up for a small snack in a newly built coffee shop. They enjoy strawberry frappes with extra whipped cream. Horribly sweet is the best, according to them. We become something like friends, but I hate this. I don’t want to be friends with them. It just doesn't fit. They probably think I am shit anyways.

They make my heart race, and my cheeks flush red whenever I see them. They make me go insane, I always have those dreams of us kissing under the stars, but somehow they are in a relationship. Argh, so annoying. Well then we have to be friends I guess, I am not that shitty to let them cheat on their partner. I am so jealous, but I suppress it.

Bye.

3581, Musutafu city, Coffee shop

Good news, or bad news. I don't know. I guess it's good for me but not for them. Their partner cheated on them and accordingly, I am the only friend they have. I swear to god I will find this stupid person and blow them up. How can someone cheat on someone so goddamn great? I would never. Besides that, I could never. One look at them and I am over the moon. I never imagined that I would ever talk about someone this cheesy, but they made me spineless. Only when I am with them of course, I do still kick villains in their asses. Maybe one day, when they are healed from this incident I will tell them, but for now, I will be their supportive friend. I am on patrol at the moment, so I have to get going.

Bye

3581 Musutafu City, My house

Hello,

today Yn and I are visiting Izuku and Uraraka, to get some friendship bonding done, or as they call it a double date. Pathetic, we arent even dating. How could they call it this when they are the only couple. Anyways, we are going to an adventure park and I hate this. The huge rollercoasters make me feel uncomfortable. It's way too fast and too high. Just no, it's awful. But I don't want to look weak, even if I learned that expressing my feelings is not a bad thing. I am a hero. I shouldn't be scared of some shitty rollercoaster.

It was the most shitty experience I ever had. We rode the scariest rollercoaster in the park, and everyone fucking enjoyed it and I was screaming like a baby. So embarrassing. Y/N needed to comfort me, I enjoyed it but still. That's so weak of me. It's my job to protect them, not the other way around. I wish I wasn't such a weak and pathetic being. Well no I stop with the self-pity, that's even worse. I even didn't tell them what I feel for them, I was just so overwhelmed that I forgot it.

I fucking hate my pathetic ass.

3581 Musutafu City, My house

The Therapist wanted to see me more often, because of some sort of relapse. He doesn't have any clue what he's talking about. I am fine. Nothing bothers me, I just hate myself, what's the problem. I always did and I always will there is nothing to worry about. It's not like I want to die or something. Even though after some missions I think I should have died. YN got hurt last week. She only had a small concussion, but it was all my fault. I should have been hurt instead of them. According to my therapist, journaling and continuing to write in this shitty diary should make me feel better, but I don't feel any better. I still feel guilty for all the people I can't and couldn't save. I am supposed to rescue them. I am a soldier, not a whiny little brat. I haven't talked to Yn since they got out of that creepy hospital. They have this sad look on their face every time they see me and my heart breaks every time I see them, but if I would still talk to them and continue having feelings I would only hurt them. I just can't protect them, it would be better if I never met them.

Bye

3581, Mustafa city, Explosion agency

Yn confronted me today and to be honest they are so attractive when they are angry. They yelled at me for ignoring them for the past few months. I told them everything that I felt for them and what I thought would be the best. Even though they were furious about not telling them earlier, they comforted me (once again) telling me that I am not a God. I can't save everyone and it's not my job to do so, even though it's sad it's true. They promised to stay in my life and reassured me that they could handle themselves. After that I found a bit of hope, we skipped the talking phase and went over to dating. I listen to the advice of my therapist and try to do the things he tells me. It improved my mental state and I can now cope with little mistakes during missions. I no longer want to do reckless things to get hurt and I started to sleep better. I am currently reflecting on my childhood and improving things. I honestly tried to clean up my mistakes from my past. I talked with my mother about this and told her that I need a break from her. Yn was always by my side during these times. They are the right ones and I want to marry them, but that's something for the future. But for now, we need to heal our souls and become financially stable.

See you soon

3584 Hawaii, Our hotel

It's been a while, hasn't it? I haven't written in ages but now as I am finally mentally stable again, I thought about writing down what happens in my life and using this diary as an actual diary and not just some sort of self therapies. You will never guess what happened. I finally had the guts to ask Yn if they wanted to marry me and they said yes. I am so happy. They make me happy. Our wedding was incredible. Kirishima, my best man, put together an amazing speech. I tried to hide it, but I sobbed a bit. My favorite part was the wedding dance. That was when I realized I finally married the most perfect person in the whole world. Our vows were heartfelt and I will always remember them. I will remember how wonderful they locked. I will definitely glue a photo of our wedding onto this book.

At the moment we are on our honeymoon and I can't stop feeling happy. All the happiness that I never experienced, I experience now. Yn really makes me happy, their smart ass, their romantic side, their angry side, and everything else is what I love about them. Without them, my life would probably still be dark and sad. They lit my life on fire and I hope it will never extinguish. Never tell them I said that or well wrote it. They will tease me for being cheesy. We are thinking about starting a family, but for now, we will have a happy life together and when we have kids we still are as happy as we are now.

Bye for now, we will have some time for ourselves.

3585, Musutafu city, Bakugou household

I am back to write again and we finally got a dog and for my misfortune a cat. (Yn wanted it and they always get what she wants it's annoying, their puppy eyes can screw themselves) This bastard of a cat always wants to be pet. It just wants me probably because I am so hot (wink wink). Yn is happy with this shitty cat and sometimes I think that they love this animal more than me. It can be only one in this household to receive all their love and it's going to be me.

Another happy news is that Yn is finally pregnant. We don't know the sex yet but it doesn't matter anyway because we will love it unconditionally. The baby bum is not to be seen yet and no one knows because of the risky three months but I am so excited for our little monster. I should be careful how I call our little baby or Yn will scold me again for calling it a monster. Even though our little munchkin isn't even born yet, I love this child with everything I have. I never thought domestic life was something for me, but it indeed is. I would never do something different.

I will update you when our baby is born. See ya

3586, Musutafu city, Bakugou household

It's a girl. YAY. We finally can hold our little one. The birth was horrifying. Yn was screaming the whole time and they crushed my hand. I was so afraid that something would go wrong, but yn did so well. I love them both so much, my heart bursts with love and happiness at the moment. I really changed, haven't I? If I could tell my fifteen-year-old self that I would love my family and live a domestic life he would probably laugh and cringe. These past months, no years, since yn is by my side, were just too good to be true. It's like a dream come true. My feelings are flying all around and I don't feel like myself. Kiri already calls me soft. I am not soft, I just learned how to love correctly and how to express my true feelings. Hero work will now be extra difficult, I don't want to worry my little sunshine. She deserves the world and I want to live for her and guarantee her a beautiful life without pain (even though that might be hard).

I am the happiest man alive.

3589, Musutafu City, Bakugou household

My little girl can crawl now, and it's a pain in the ass. She is always on tour, through the house. Yn and I are always on track to keep her safe and it's exhausting. This little bundle is full of life and we can't get a hold of her. To be honest I hope she never loses this kind of liveliness. This child really is fulfilling my life. Hero work is getting more and more stressful, because of this one idiot who thinks he can just walk around and poison people, which results in many deaths. I hope I can fight him, to guarantee my little girl that she can live in safety. This bastard is causing a lot of losses among the heroes. Even Izuku doesn't know how to approach this fucking piece of shit. We will fight him at all costs. My girl will grow up in safety, I don't want her to experience the things I had to go through, the war, the abuse, the self-hatred, the depression, and all the other shitty stuff. A happy and fulfilled life is what she deserves.

It's getting late and I really should go to sleep, or Yn will drag me to bed, shouting at me for having a bad sleeping schedule. Even though they stay up all night to watch these ridiculous romance animes.

See ya

3595, Musutafu City , Hospital

It's been a while. There are some good news I suppose and a lot of bad ones. Our daughter got enrolled in first grade. She is really happy and bubbly just like Yn. Seeing her growing up lets my heart ache. One day she will grow up and become a successful and beautiful woman. I am glad that the current political situation is too hard to, understand for her, but I still notice that her parents are stressed and busy, but she still tries to cheer us up. Truly, she is an angel. The villain I told you about…. appeared and killed more than 100 people by now. We could get a chance on fighting him, but he couldn't get caught. Yn got hit by his quirk…. it is still not sure if the poison is out of their blood system, but it doesn't look good. They didn't wake up in the last 4 hours since the incident happened, but I need to be hopeful. They can't die, not now. Our daughter just got into school. I can't lose them. They are the light of my life. I just overcame the last rock bottom, I can't survive another one. Without them, the world would be dark and even our daughter could never fill the void that Yns death would leave. Even though I don't believe in god, I hope that some high might save them. I just want to take them home and continue living my life. The fight was hard and I couldn't even protect them. I was useless, just like I've always been. We still wished us luck to get out there safely, but we didn't kiss or said the typical I love you. I regret it so much. I want to turn back time, to say everything I want them to know. I love them so much, it is sometimes unbearable and without her, I would never have become the man I am now.

I will have to have hope, they will make it out alive.

3600, Musutafu, Bakugou house

They didn't make it. They died weeks after I wrote the entry. I couldn't tell you back then. I was, no I am a broken man. Only a shadow of the person I was. Their death had made me into the monster I was before I met them, I am coldhearted and stoic. I don't see the purpose in life anymore. Every day the pain clung to me like a nasty shadow. I want this to end, but I can't since Dn will suffer even more. Losing her parent took her bright soul away, and she now tends to become like me, and I really hope I can change that. I am a horrible person. She shouldn't be like me. She should be like Yn, kind, smart, brilliant, and overall wonderful. Maybe it's because I miss Yn so much that I want our daughter to be their replacement or it's my wish. I can't separate these thoughts anymore. I think I want both. Everything is beyond pointless in this life. Getting up, bringing Dn to school, and going to work. This cycle is more exhausting now than ever, there is no happy person to come home to anymore. No one asks what villain you kicked into jail or questions about the students from UA, who are doing their internships. I just want my happy domestic life back and my partner. I miss them so much, it's unbearable. It would be just better if I could be with them. It would be better If I died...

3601, Musutafu city, Bakugou house

I took revenge. The bastard who killed Yn is dead. I killed him with my bare hands. To protect my daughter and all the other citizens. I felt fulfilled for one second, but then I realized that this act would never give me Yn back. It was pointless. at least I got also hit with his quirk before he died. I am so sorry Dn for dying and leaving you completely alone, but I also couldn't continue this life without Yn. I hope you can forgive me... I want you to be yourself and fight for the things you believe in. I want you to be the best of yourself. Please don't be sad for too long. I was never the dad that you deserved. I hope Kirishima will take care of you...

Her weak finger caressed the blood stains on the wrinkled paper.

Tears clouded her vision as she closed the orange notebook. Her uncle patted her on the back and tried to hold her close. “Your dad really loved them. I am sorry. He just really loved Yn. The villain released him from his agony. It's not your fault you were so little you weren't able to protect them.” he tried to comfort her. But comforting was unnecessary. Her parents are dead, killed by a crazy poisoned guy. She hated this guy, even though her father already killed him. The diary should have been some kind of present from her uncle, but it felt like a curse. The rain pattered o both of them “Let's go inside or we will catch a cold. We can visit them tomorrow.” Kirishima grabbed her by her arm and got her away from the graveyard.

[helioleti]

I've been rewatching ATLA several times lately and this time I especially ended up wondering a lot about Iroh and Ozai's past and characters in general. I just can't help but think it weird that Ozai is the ultimate trashbag of a humanbeing while Iroh ended up preaching harmony and peace. It just doesn't make any sense. These guys are brothers. They were brought up by the same parents, in the same fascist imperialistic nation, they were taught the same values growing up. You're trying to tell me the difference is that Iroh was destined to be the person he eventually came to be, but Ozai was just born evil? No, I don't think so.

I have two hot takes that I'm gonna elaborate:

1. Iroh had a guidance Ozai lacked

2. Ozai was the less favored son

(Disclaimer: I haven't read the comics yet so I don't know how deep they've already gone into this subject at some point. I'm trying to interpret and analyze the stuff that I got from the animated series only. If anything I say contradicts what has already been confirmed in the comics, feel free to correct me.)

Hear me out. Iroh wasn't born a saint. Everyone is aware of this, especially Iroh himself. He laid siege to Ba Sing Se for 2 years, costing the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom thousands of lives. Everyone knew that if the Fire Nation took over the capital, it meant almost ultimate victory for the Fire Nation. He even went as far as making a offhand sadistic jokes about burning the city to the ground in that letter to Zuko and Azula.

Iroh acknowledges it himself; He was a different man.

So what changed?

Yes, his son died. It broke and shattered him from the inside, making him drop all efforts to continue fighting in the war. To continue what had been his lifelong ambition, what he believed to be his destiny. He had a literal vision about taking over Ba Sing Se when he was a child, and that had been what he'd been pursuing ever since. But the death of his son managed to crumble all of that into nothingness. How is that possible?

Don't get me wrong. I think it's completely valid. I just don't understand how Lu Ten and Iroh could've had such a loving and caring relationship in the first place, when that's clearly something unusual among the royal family. Ozai burned and banished Zuko without a second thought, not to mention all the other shit he did to him growing up. Ozai didn't give two shits about Azula either, he only ever intended to use her as his weapon. Doesn't seem too surprising, if you ask me. Azulon didn't hesitate to demand that Ozai kill his own son if he wanted the throne. That's the man that raised Ozai, so it's just logical that Ozai learned that behavior and those values from his own father.

Even 9 year old Azula thinks it laughable that Iroh would fall apart at the death of his son. She is a child and this is how she thinks. The reason Zuko doesn't think like this is because he's had the guidance of his mother, unlike Azula. This is the kind of mentality these kids grow up with. They grew up with war and so did Iroh and Ozai.

So why was Iroh's relationship with Lu Ten so different? Where did Iroh experience the kind of compassion and love he passed on to his own son, that Ozai definitely didn't? People act on how they've come to learn, so where did Iroh learn to care about his son to a point that it made him give up on his lifelong ambition?

Let's review a very crucial information we have on Iroh and Ozai as siblings: They have a huge age gap.

Frankly, I'm guessing about 10-20 years. Looks more like 20 to me, but that could also be Iroh's greater amount of endured pain and war making him look older than he actually is. But no one can deny that an age gap is definitely there. Which can also indicate they had different upbringings, despite having grown up in the same family as brothers.

What does this mean? Well, that's just me theorizing now, but I can definitely imagine that Iroh had someone, a family member maybe, there for him who wasn't around or didn't care to be when Ozai grew up. There must've been someone there who gave Iroh emotional security and guidance throughout his upbringing. Who? That's up to imagination. A friend of the family? A friendly uncle? His own mother ((or father))? (The last two things worked out for Zuko in the end, didn't they?) Otherwise I can't really explain myself why Iroh had enough values to love the way he loved Lu Ten, while Ozai clearly didn't give two fucks about his children at any point in his life.

Iroh was the firstborn son, the one who had a vision very early in his life that his destiny was to take over Ba Sing Se. Probably the one who got to have a family member care about him enough to show him how to love.

(I like to point this out a lot because I find it very interesting, and very significant. Please A:TLA give us more info on Iroh's past!!)

Which brings me to my second take: Ozai was the less favored son.

Iroh was clearly a son to be proud of. He was a master firebender, the "Dragon of the West", if you will. He apparently had a vision as a boy that he'd conquer the most "impenetrable city" in the world. He probably lived up to his parent's expectations for his whole life, especially having no sibling to be compared to for a significant part of his life. He broke through the outter wall of Ba Sing Se during his siege. Yada yada yada, you get my point. He's the best son they could've wished for.

And Ozai? As far as I know, he barely even has any military achievements. Taking over Ba Sing Se was Azula's doing. While Iroh laid siege to the capital, he was at home chilling in the palace. He's the younger brother to an established hero and was never meant to be firelord. Now, I haven't read the comics for more info on Ozai's biography, but this man barely had a chance to live up to his parent's standards with Iroh as an older brother. If my theory is correct, Ozai also didn't have any person to provide him emotional guidance throughout his life. (*cough* like Azula)

The logical outcome is: infinite jealousy.

And when Ozai suggests to Azulon that he revoke Iroh's birthright to become firelord, this is Azulon's answer:

Azulon doesn't even hesitate to call Ozai out on his bullshit. He doesn't hesitate to take offense at the suggestion of betraying Iroh, and he even seems to care about Iroh's suffering. Not to mention that Azulon is overall annoyed with Ozai's request for an audience and sends the rest of Ozai's family away as soon as he can, to get whatever it is Ozai wants over with.

I could also mention the fact that Ozai tried to impress Azulon with his daughter's skills (Azula, even named after him) and the overall strained relationship these two seem to exhibit. It's obviously very different from Azulon's relationship with Iroh, if the way he talks about said man is anything to show for.

What if Azulon treated Ozai the same way Ozai treated Zuko? (Probably without the physical abuse, but you get my point.) What if this is where Ozai learned to treat a "useless" kid like shit, maybe also in a way to cope with how he was treated himself?

Getting deeper into the fact that Ozai is rather a loser compared to Iroh, without any big military achievements and without value for anything beyond that, this also explains a lot about Ozai's constant need to establish his dominance.

First; Becoming Firelord through radical manners (you know, killing his own son or killing his own father)

Second; Publicly burning and banishing his own son whom he considers a weakling, who dared to speak up in his war room. Doing this to have everyone know that he doesn't associate himself with weakness and that he will not ever tolerate any form of disrespect.

Third; The whole Phoenix King act. No one can tell me this isn't a madman's doing. This is literally to show off that he is the most powerful person in the world.

Ozai is so obsessed with proving himself and his superiority to everyone, including himself and probably Iroh too. This makes most sense if we consider that he probably lived in his brother's shadow for his whole life, ignored by probably every guiding figure he's ever had in his life, maybe even considered a laughingstock by his own father.

Perhaps this is also the reason Ozai didn't have any problem with Iroh accompanying Zuko in banishment. His brother, the hero in whose shadow he grew up, and his son, the failure he'd wanted out of the way for a long time already. It would erase Iroh's image that made him superior to him, once and for all. For himself and the world. I believe that branding him a traitor was the biggest satisfaction Ozai had ever experienced in his life.

I absolutely despise Ozai with every fibre of my heart, but it amazes me how ATLA continues to leave so much room for interpretation and explanation for a character as despicable as him. Writing this, even had me feel sympathy for him at some point. Feel free to disagree with me or add anything, I'm eager to hear everyone's thoughts about Ozai and Iroh's backstories because I'm geniuinely very curious.

[kimistorm]

White Blood Cell (U-1146) x Gender Neutral! Reader || Maybe I’m in Love

Warnings: Blood. Reader getting hurt. Slight angst but happy ending.

You nonchalantly walked through the body as you hummed your favorite song and swung your arms from side to side. It was a quiet, peaceful day and you could feel it in the atmosphere. Cells were happily talking to each other as they carried out their duties, nobody was running and screaming-

“Bacteria!” a red blood cell’s panicked voice broke the calm atmosphere as he ran in your direction, causing the other cells to scream and to start running in the same direction as him. Looks like you spoke too soon.

You didn’t need to be told twice. You pulled your pink cap down more securely before you took off running in the direction of where the cell came from. “Is it back there?” you asked and pointed ahead of you as you approached the cell who screamed.

He nodded as the two of you sped past each other. Him with a look of pure terror and you with your eyes fierce with determination. You knew you arrived when you saw rubble and a grotesque creature laughing maniacally, “what a wonderful place this body is.”

You noticed some cells standing frozen at the sight, “get out of here!” you commanded as you ran towards them, in case any of them were hurt. That seemed to snap them out of their reverie as they let out petrified yells while they ran away.

There was a whizzing sound and you used your sasumata to deflect the barb aimed towards the cells. You frowned as you looked at the bacteria smiling smugly at you, “you’re just a little eosinophil, aren’t you?” he crooned.

You tightened your hold on your sasumata as you faced off with the creature, “what is your point?” you tried to stall for time, enough for a neutrophil to arrive and finish him off. You knew you could hardly do anything against him, but keeping him away from the other cells would be the best you could do.

“Today must be my lucky day!” he howled in delight as he cackled with laughter, your (e/c) eyes darted around as you looked for any more cells in the area frozen in fear, and much to your chagrin, many seemed to have forgotten how to use their legs. He was too busy laughing to notice you start to move and you were halfway towards him before there was another ‘shing’ and you barely dodged a barb aimed to kill. His laughter turned into a frown, “I’m gonna kill you!” he shouted and you frantically used your sasumata as a shield against the barrage of barbs coming at you.

“Get out of here!” you shouted to the cells across the area who were watching the entire scene play out with wide eyes. That got their attention and they started to move, but that also got the bacteria’s attention as he spun around and shot his barbs in their direction, “hey ugly!” you leapt up and tried to stab his head but your sasumata bounced off uselessly. It worked though, as he was distracted enough to let his barbs falter and the cells were able to get safely away.

“Trying to play the hero, are we?” he crooned as he pulled himself up to his full height and towered over you.

You gulped as you held your sasumata close to you and tried to keep your knees from shaking, “trying to play the villain, are we?” you mentally slapped yourself. That was a dumb comeback.

“Trying?” the bacteria leaned back in laughter, “honey, I am the villain!” his barbs rose up around him as he laughed maniacally, “and I’m going to take over this body!” there was a slash and blood spurted out from him as he fell to the ground. Dead.

You let out a sigh of relief and waited a moment for your knees to stop knocking against each other. Once you got your cool back, you smirked and kicked the corpse, “some villain.” You turned to the neutrophil who had come to your aid and gave a bow, “thank you for your help!”

“Yeah,” he let out a grunt and you looked up to see a familiar white blood cell with his hair covering one eye, “just doing my job.”

You sighed and crossed your arms at the blood covered cell, “one day you should just accept a thanks U-1146. I get that you’re doing your job, we all are,” you went to the edge of the open area and White Blood Cell followed suit, “but being appreciated is nice, y’know? Either way,” you grabbed the hose that was lying on the ground, “it’s good to see you again.” You really did love running into him. Just seeing him seemed to put a smile on your face. You smiled as you looked at the cell and pointed the running hose at him, effectively spraying him in the face with water. He let out a sputter from the sudden burst of water to his face and held up a hand to block the water. You laughed at the dark look he gave you as you put the hose back down, seeing as how he was clean again.

“Hmm,” he gave you an uncommitted grunt.

You sighed as you noticed this conversation wasn’t going anywhere. You walked past him towards the main area, “well, I’ll see you around I guess.” You spun around and walked backwards to give him a grin, “until then, don’t die!” while your face held a joking tone, you genuinely meant what you said. You wanted to see him again, and again, and as much as you could until the end of your days.

He had turned around when you shouted your last words and gave you a small grin, “same to you.”

“White Blood Cell!” your eyes widened as a female red blood cell sprinted past you and towards the white blood cell you were walking away from.

“Red blood cell!” you heard him gasp and you frowned. The two knew each other?

As you entered the main area you overheard a cell mutter, “ugh, what a weakling. Isn’t (pronoun) also a white blood cell?”

“Hey,” you spun around and glared at the cell who just badmouthed you, “how about you do it, then.” You stuck out your sasumata towards her and she stared back with wide eyes as she took a step back.

“That’s crazy! I’m not a white blood cell! That’s not my job!”

“My point,” you brought your sasumata back towards you, “my main job isn’t to fight viruses and bacteria, its to fight parasites, so don’t go around judging people before you know the whole story,” you angrily turned away from her and took a couple steps before turning your head back to let loose one last insult, “your lack of a nucleus is showing!” the girl’s face turned as red as the beret on her head.

                                                          ↞↟↠

“It must be hard watching over her,” you let your voice precede you before you stepped out to face a certain white blood cell with his hair covering one eye.

“Eosinophil.” He gasped as he watched you approach him.

You let your gaze follow the energetic red blood cell bounding away to do her job as you continued to speak, “trouble always seems to find her, doesn’t it?”

He stifled a laugh, “and you.”

“Hey,” you turned back toward him with a half annoyed, half joking look on your face, “I look for trouble. That’s my job.”

“Did you just happen to be here?” he asked in confusion. Normally it was him who ran into you, not the other way around. And why were you talking about red blood cell?

You opted to ignore his question, seeing as how your explanation of ‘I’ve just been following you all day’ would be difficult to defend, “why? Why do you watch her in particular?”

“She needs it.”

“And the other blood cells don’t?” you raised a dubious eyebrow.

He sighed and rubbed his face, “her more than others. Every time I’ve run into her, she’s been hopelessly lost.”

“That’s rough.”

A small smile grew on his face, one that you saw, “but she’s doing her best, and I commend her for that.”

“You’re not falling for her, are you?” you frowned as you looked at the cell standing across from you.

His face turned red, “no.”

You sighed at his response, he wasn’t being subtle, “make sure you don’t, okay?” your voice softened as you looked at the lovestruck cell in front of you, “I don’t want you to get hurt.” ‘Or me.’ You couldn’t help but add in your head. You knew it was foolish, to fall for the cell who happened to rescue you every time you were in danger. There was no room in cell life for love. It was dangerous. Every day was a battle for life, and the two of you immune cells were the first line of defense. But something about his calm voice, cool attitude and strength drew you in. And perhaps it drew that red blood cell in as well. Maybe, maybe you weren’t the only one falling in love.

                                                          ↞↟↠

It was another day of fighting in the body and you were struggling. The virus was relentless in his attacks against you. Barbs flew at you from every angle and you could hardly protect yourself, let alone try to attack. And to make matters worse, the place was teeming with other cells. Cells who had decided that instead of running away, they would stand and watch your butt get whooped. “You’re,” you grunted as a barb collided with your sasumata, “not,” another grunt, “revealing,” a yelp as you dodged two barbs coming at you at the same time, “your,” another clang, “plan,” another grunt, “for,” you winced as a barb sunk into your arm and roughly pulled itself out, “body domination?” there was another whiz and before you knew it, your sasumata had clattered out of your grasp.

The virus watched you unamusedly as you scrambled for your weapon while trying to dodge the barbs, ultimately failing as you ended up as a bloody mess from the amount of hits you were unable to dodge. Which was an embarrassingly high percentage. “You’re boring.”

You couldn’t help but let out an annoyed scoff, “that’s the first thing you say to me?” For the entirety of the fight you tried to get a reaction out of him, hoping to get him distracted enough to stop barraging you, but he just wasn’t taking any of the bait. He just silently stood and sent barbs flying at you as you desperately tried to do something.

“I tried to give you a chance,” he shrugged as he looked at you with two bored eyes, “if I was trying to kill you, you’d be dead by now, but all the legends are true.” You gritted your teeth as you glared at him, “all eosinophils are weak.”

“Then I thank you for giving me a chance.”

His face morphed into the first expression that you’ve seen on his face other than that perpetual boredness, “die.” All of the barbs came flying at you at once and you froze. You didn’t know what you could do against an attack of that size. They were coming at you from all angles, you couldn’t slip around and past it, and your sasumata was a weak shield. What were you saying, it wasn’t even a shield. You tightened your grip and let out a yell, if this was the end, you were going to go out as loud as you could. You poised your weapon and...he collapsed.

You let out a sigh of relief as blood leaked out from the fatal wound inflicted by a neutrophil. “What a weakling,” you heard a cell mutter, “(pronoun) didn’t even lay a scratch on him.”

“Yeah, and (pronoun)’s basically on the verge of death.” You heard the response and fell roughly to your knees. Now that the fight was over, all the adrenaline dissipated from your body and you could feel the pain screaming from what felt like every inch of your body.

“I thought I told you not to die,” you looked up to see a blood covered neutrophil looking down at you.

You smiled wryly up at him, “not dead yet. Good to see you again U-1146.”

He kneeled down to get on your level, “how injured are you?”

You groaned, “you already know none of the blood covering me is his.”

The single eye you could see widened, “I didn’t.”

“Surprise?”

“Hey!” he stood up and called out to the crowd of cells that were still gathered, “is anyone carrying nutrients?”

There was some muttering but someone’s voice was loud enough for the both of you to hear, “not for a weakling like (pronoun).”

You sighed and hung your head defeatedly. You almost wished the virus finished you earlier. “Your lack of a nucleus is showing!” you jerked your head up to look at U-1146 looking furiously at the crowd of cells, his fists were clenched by his sides and he looked ready to fight again.

“Are those my words?” you grinned up at him.

He looked over his shoulder to look at you, “maybe.” He frowned when nobody else reacted and turned back around to face you. He kneeled down and before you knew it, he was lifting you up bridal style.

“Woah hey! White Blood Cell!” you panicked and clutched at him and your sasumata, “put me down!”

“Don’t worry,” he told you as he began walking to who knows where. It was the opposite way of the main area, and because of that, the lighting seemed to dim, “you’re going to get your nutrients.”

You felt yourself relax in his arms, he was just so warm and comfortable, and his steady footsteps were strangely soothing in its own sense. “Hey U-1146?” you mumbled as you tried to snuggle deeper into his arms. Now that you thought about it, you were really tired, and the dim lighting seemed to be beckoning you to go to sleep. “Thank you.”

“Eosinophil,” he shook you, “hey, Eosinophil!” his voice rose in a panic and his footsteps quickened, “don’t fall asleep okay!”

“But you’re so warm,” you mumbled.

“Stay with me! Eosinophil! Listen to me!” you tried to, you really did, but soon his voice faded into silence as you gave way into sleep.

                                                          ↞↟↠

You felt yourself rise from a deep sleep and you opened your eyes to see White Blood Cell sitting in a chair by your bed. Asleep. You smiled as you looked at the cell, it was nice to see him. You looked closer at him and your smile morphed into a frown when you saw the dark bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

You sat up in your bed and lifted an arm to flip off your covers but stopped and let out a soft gasp when you saw your arm covered in bandages. You looked at your other arm and even at your chest to see bandages covering nearly every inch of your body. Your face flushed when you thought about the only other cell in the apartment, and how he must’ve been the one who put on your bandages. You buried your face in your hands. How embarrassing!

You tried to be quiet, since it looked like White Blood Cell needed the sleep, but he must’ve been a light sleeper as he let out a groan and blinked his eyes as he woke up. It took a moment for his eyes to focus and for his brain to catch up, but once it did, “Eosinophil!” his dark eyes widened as he looked at you.

“Good morning,” you rasped out. Your eyes widened in shock, how long have you been out that caused your voice to sound dead? You cleared your throat and tried again, “how long have I been out?”

“I’m so glad you’re awake!” he ignored your question and just burst out. His mind was reeling. For the past few days while he sat and watched you sleep (in a protective way of course. He wanted to be there in case you worsened, but he also wanted to be there when you woke up so he could help you.), his mind ran with thoughts of what he would say to you. Things he was afraid of saying but realized he should’ve said them, because if you didn’t wake up, he’d live the rest of his life berating himself for not telling you sooner. “I was so worried!”

You gave him a little bow, “thank you for taking care of me White Blood Cell.” You noticed a frantic look in his eyes and leaned forward in concern, “are you okay? You look a little shaken. Did something happen?”

He could hardly think, let alone hear your concern. His mind was yelling, fighting against himself. ‘Tell (pronoun)!’

‘I can’t!’

‘You might not get another chance!’

‘I couldn’t burden (pronoun) with this!’

‘This is a gift! Take it!’

“White Blood Cell?” he seemed frozen in time as he stared at nothing. You gently put a hand on your knee, “hey, I’m really concerned now.”

The touch seemed to have jolted him out of it as words suddenly started pouring out of his mouth, “Eosinophil! I was so worried for you!” your hand darted back to your body at the sudden movement, “I thought I lost you! I thought you were dead! And everyone else told me to just let you rest, but I couldn’t let you go! They kept on telling me to leave you and let you be, to let you die, but I couldn’t do that!” he gulped and took a breath, his chest starting to heave as if he had just fought a virus.

“Maybe you should’ve,” you muttered to your fists and they clenched around the blanket in your lap, “maybe it was my time to leave.”

“No!” The speed of White Blood Cell’s reaction took you by surprise, but maybe, he was justified in his reaction. He spent how many days by your side? Taking care of you while you were off sleeping. “Please don’t leave me.” He bowed his head into his hands so you couldn’t see the emotions darting around his face or the tears dripping off his nose. “Please, Eosinophil.”

It hurt you to hear him sound so broken, “I won’t leave.” You told him quietly as you leaned forward to rub his knee soothingly.

“Promise me.”

“I promise I won’t leave you,” you agreed in the same quiet tone. His reaction was starting to concern you, but you knew you shouldn’t push anything.

“They all told me you were a lost cause, but I couldn’t let you go because,” he broke off from what he was going to say and took a deep gulp. Was he going to say it? His mind continued to scream at him and he could hardly form a cohesive thought. “I love you.”

You did a double take. Did you hear that right? Did he just confess his love to you? He said it in a really soft voice, so you weren’t really sure what he said. He was expecting a response from you. What were you to say? What if you said the wrong thing? “You what?”

He took a deep breath and finally looked up to meet your (e/c) eyes with his own dark ones, “I love you.”

Your face broke into a grin and you forcefully leaned forward to pull him into a hug, “I love you too White Blood Cell,” you told him through happy tears, “I love you so much.”

You felt him return the hug, “I’m glad.”

Masterlist 

[ayma-nidiot]

“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fic Chapter 29

This chapter can be found here on AO3.

Author’s Note: This chapter will have implied Prideshipping, as will a small number of subsequent chapters. I will put warnings for when that happens.

Also suicide TW.

Chapter 29 - Peacemaker

~29 November 2005~ 

“Ugh, Doc, can I leave yet?” Rex whined after Dr. Balls had just finished a checkup at the off-campus hospital. “I feel like I’ve spent most of my college life in the hospital. I’ve already been here long enough when I had morning sickness. I wanna go have fun like every other freshman.”

“Unfortunately, that’s what happens when you’re about to have a child, young man,” Ptera spoke sternly. “You’re about to become a mom, and you need to act like it. You need to be a good role model for your daughter, and that includes not treating college like it’s a place just to go party.”

“Nag, nag. I got all my homework and projects done, didn’t I? I even got an A on one of my tests for biology class. I’ve never done that before! And while I’m hospital-bound too! Aren’t you proud of me, Mom?”

Ptera ruffled her son’s hair. “Well, I suppose I can’t expect you to turn into mom of the year overnight. But work on it, okay?”

Dr. Balls spoke up, “As your doctor, I won’t try to parent you. But I will say that you are good to go after today.”

“What, really?” Rex would have jumped out of bed if Ptera didn’t hold him down in it.

“Yes, but do not push yourself too hard - mentally or physically. Even though you’ve only got four weeks left in your pregnancy, it’s in your baby’s best interest to avoid going into labour early. And you need to tell me if anything - and I mean literally anything - goes awry. Is that clear?”

“Crystal, Doc. If he forgets, you can be sure that I’ll remember.”

“Much faith in me, Mom. Much faith.”

“Papa! Papa!” Amber could be heard shouting all the way from the first floor, along with the stomps of dozens of soldiers.

“Hey!” Dr. Balls shouted down the hallway. “No running in the hospital! I don’t care who you are!”

“I’m so sorry, Doc.” Amber bowed before talking to her mother. “Papa, I’ve just-”

“Not another word, young lady!” Ptera got up, noticing before anyone else just how wounded Amber was. “Look at your arm! And… Is that a broken arrow sticking out of your butt?”

“Amber, please…”

Amber wouldn’t let Dr. Balls or her grandmother sway her. “After almost a month, we finally cornered two of the Earthbound Gods, Wiraqocha Rasca and Ccarayhua! But… But… Hah…”

“DOWN.” Ptera demanded as Amber reluctantly knelt while Dr. Balls tended to her arrow wound. “Now, then, you were saying?”

“Ngh…!” Even though she had a high pain tolerance, Amber nearly cried when she felt alcohol enter her wounds. “They found out what my intentions were before I even revealed myself. There were too many strong monsters... As a result, I’ve already lost some of my men. I intend to go back to the hideout I’ve found once I’ve gathered the rest of the army.”

“I feel like I’ve heard that second funky name somewhere…” Rex looked to the ceiling before deciding that, indeed, he hadn’t actually heard the name. “Eh. Must be my imagination.”

Just then, the building shook so hard, small pieces of rubble rolled into Rex’s room. “Don’t tell me that that’s your imagination too?” Amber yelled as she half-shifted, even before Dr. Balls finished treating her.  “Tch! Looks like those Earthbound Gods found us. ”

“I’m still concerned, but I’m confident that you’ll heal quickly.” Dr. Balls opened a safe in his office, which held his Gravity Axe - Grarl. “Know that I am on your side.”

“All this time, I had no idea… Er, I mean, thanks for the help.”

“I… I can fight too!” Rex stumbled on his way out of bed. “Whoa!”

“Get back in there, you.” Ptera growled.

“That’s right,” Dr. Balls added. “I said you’re good to go starting tomorrow. You shouldn’t be fighting when you’re this close to your due date. Besides, you’re not an especially strong monster; what do you honestly think you could accomplish out there?”

“How dare you?! I’ve still got my Duel Disk and my duelin’ dinos - Urk!” Though he was in far less pain than he was a month ago, Rex was still extremely fatigued and suffered swelling in his feet.

“I think I can make far better use of that Duel Disk than you can,” Ptera declared as she put Rex’s Duel Disk on. “Now, Amber, lead the way.”

“Hmph. Buttmunches, one and all,” Rex grumbled as his family left the campus hospital without him.

Are you really going to let them take all the glory while you sit here like a log? spoke a voice in Rex’s head.

Rex threw the covers over his head, fidgeting and grumbling, hoping the hallucination would go away. He swore to himself that he would tell Dr. Balls about it when he got back from the battle, however long that would take. “Well, why don’t you try caring around a 6-pound sack of rice for eight months, then getting beat to a pulp while you’re at it? ...Wait, who the hell are you, anyway? Another hallucination?”

Please, listen… I am not a hallucination. Rex Leonidas Raptor, hear my plea. You must get out there and talk to Earthbound God Ccarayhua. She doesn’t really want to fight.

“Apparently, you weren’t listening to the part that I said I was eight months pregnant! And you really have no idea who you’re talking to, so let me remind you. I am a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ kind of guy - a.k.a. I do not ‘talk’ my way out of my problems.”

But your boyfriend, Weevil, is coming, spoke another voice.

Rex froze at the mention of Weevil’s name, and dug himself even further into the bedsheets. “I… I know I’ll have to face him eventually, but… I can’t do it - physically or emotionally. And even if I don’t fight him, someone might kill him before my eyes…” Rex hugged the sheets around him more tightly. “I don’t want to go through that again.”

Just trust us, spoke a third voice. We will protect you.

“...” After a long contemplation, Rex gave in, slowly lowering his feet onto the floor and using the wall as a crutch on his way out. His unborn child squirmed, not allowing him to walk any faster than a snail’s pace. “Okay, but I’ll never forgive you if something happens to either me or my baby!”

While Rex trudged towards the hospital exit, Dr. Balls and his ‘gang’ ran down the long main corridor. “I’ve only read about the eight Earthbound Gods,” he remarked. “I thought they were just a legend. If they’re real and as powerful as I think they are… We’ve got quite a battle on our hands.”

“Yes, but thankfully, we have to deal with only two of them for now,” Amber answered.

“You’ve got quite a battle on your hands, hmm?” spoke a voice, whose source had already summoned his monsters. “Why don’t we help you with that a little bit?”

“Joey! Everyone!” Looking past her family and the Club members, Amber saw her mother’s Red-Eyes Black Dragon defeating some of the lesser enemies already. “...You better not let anything happen to Papa’s Red-Eyes, you hear?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it!” Joey stood back-to-back with Mai as the latter had three of her Harpie Ladies in front of her. 

“These guys…” Mai used her Harpie Lady Phoenix Formation spell; even then, the onslaugh of the enemies seemed endless. “Is it just me, or are they even tougher than last time?”

“So you’re admitting your own weakness?” Joey chuckled.

“Speak for yourself!” Mai scoffed as Joey’s Iron Knight Gearfried fell.

“Okay, okay… Say, Mai. I know I’ve been chicken about it, but…”

“Less talk and more fighting, Joey!” Mai barely dodged out of the way so she could summon her Harpie’s Pet Dragon too, while Joey summoned Gilford the Lightning and Jinzo.

“Joey…” Amber could still fight well enough, even though she stopped to talk to Joey. “Don’t tell me you still haven’t told her in the past month!”

“Told me what? N-Never mind, it can- Ouch!” While running, Mai tripped on a rock, and her three Harpie Ladies perished trying to protect her.

“Mai!” His monsters were already fending off some strong monsters, and Joey had no room left on his Duel Disk to summon more. So without thinking, he jumped in front of Mai to shield her from a direct Cyber Dragon attack. “Aaaaah!” 

“Joey…” Mai still remained unwounded, but Joey suffered abrasions all over his body. While she spoke to Joey, Téa’s and Tristan’s monsters protected them. “You idiot… You could have used your monsters like every other damned duelist on this battlefield!”

“I know what I said about Red-Eyes, but I wouldn’t have minded if you used it to protect Mai.”

“I guess… If I’m gonna die anyway, then… This is as good of a time as any to say it… Mai…” Joey laced his bloody finger’s with Mai’s. “Mai… I love you more than anything else in the world. I… Urk! I just wish I… had told you during the Orichalcos mess. Maybe… Maybe then you wouldn’t have…”

“Joey, shut up!” Mai shut Joey up with a kiss. “You’re gonna make it… I love you too much to let you die here!”

“Aww, how cute!” Seymour, as Wiraqocha Rasca, hovered over the new couple. “Too bad your relationship isn’t going anywhere, because I’m going to kill you here!”

“I’ll let you have that honour, Seymour,” Dip spoke as she continued to attack her enemies in lizard form. “I’ll make sure these weaklings don’t stop you.”

“Joey! Argh, let go of me, you fucktard!” Amber had broken free of the Guarddragon Justicia that held her down, but was too far away from Joey to save him now. 

Yet there was someone who could - a dragon clad in pure white armour and light. “Shining Neutron Blast!”

“Huh. I’ve never heard of that attack name before.” Before Dip could study this new enemy closer, she could hear a baritone voice singing. “Ugh… That song… What’s this, my strength is… fading? Dammit, I can’t hold onto my lizard form!”

“Now… Where have I heard that song before?” Joey lifted his head up to see a young man with cinnamon-coloured skin and spiky brown hair. 

“Aww, that’s kind of mean,” the young man whined as he used healing magic on Joey. “After all the battles you fought with Father and Papa, you don’t remember them?”

“Come to think of it, there’s only one person I’ve ever known that’s used Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon…” Joey still felt tired, but could stand on his feet again. “It’s…”

“Big Bro!” Mokuba hugged Kaiba from behind, recognizing his brother’s dragon form easily. 

“Mokuba, now’s not the time! Save the pleasantries for later!” Kaiba jumped out of the way with Mokuba on his back.

“Hah!” Now that Atem had stopped singing, Seymour could transform back into his condor form. “I really wanted to hear your beautiful song some more! Too bad!”

“I’m more than just a song, you fiend.” Using his DiaDhank, Atem summoned Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl. 

“The dragon… Could he be-”

Before Amber could say another word, Phuckdis and William had just come onto the scene with the rest of the army. “Sorry we’re late, Amber!”

“About time!” Amber backflipped in the air to avoid an attack from Dip. “Help me take down this overgrown lizard, will ya?”

“‘Overgrown lizard…’ Ah!” Upon seeing his sister again, Phuckdis froze in place. “Dip… Is that you?”

“Well, so nice of you to visit after, what? Sixteen fucking years?” Dip set her sights on her brothers. “Why don’t you finish what you started back then?”

“Sister…” William couldn’t move either. “I don’t want to fight you.”

“Oh, that’s rich!” Dip’s attacks got more intense. “You disown me, and then now you say you don’t want to fight? You cowards!”

“William, we need to fight her.” Phuckdis began to fight back, albeit reluctantly. “She’s an Earthbound God.”

“Yes, those were almost the exact same words you used! So come at me with your bullets, Borreload Savage Dragon, and run your dear sister through!”

“W-Wait!” 

“Huh?” Ptera turned around to see a half-shifted Rex hobbling out of the hospital. “Rex! Get the hell back in your room!”

“Oh my fucking gods, Rex, you’re insane! Ggh!” Dr. Balls swung around with his axe, striking the enemy that lunged towards Rex. “Are you trying to give birth in the middle of a battlefield?”

“Mom… Dr. Balls… Please…” Rex tried his best to hide the deep pain he was in. “And you too, Phuckdis. Dip doesn’t want to fight either of you; she’s just very hurt by what you guys did to her.”

“And what the hell would you know, rabbit?” Dip turned her attention to Rex now. “You have no idea what I’ve been through, what being estranged by your ‘family’ feels like!”

“I may not understand you, but I know what it’s like to have your family abandon you… and to reconnect with them after so long. If I can do it, so can you.”

“Rex…” Spinos looked at his son in sorrow for a brief spell before summoning Jurrac Tyrannus and Jurrac Velphito just in time.

“Dip, you told me yourself when I was your prisoner. Don’t you remember? And… And how I told you about what Weeves and I have been through?”

“Ggh…” Dip could feel the darkness in her heart leaving her.

“Stop poisoning her mind, you weak cur!” Seymour readied a beam to fire at Rex.

“It isn’t too late. Just like Weeves did once, you can change your destiny. Join us!”

“Like hell she will! Take this you-” Seymour couldn’t say another word as Dip impaled him with a lizard claw. “Ccarayhua! What are you doing?”

“...” Dip said nothing as she withdrew her claw and reverted forms.

“Damn you, you… traitor… Argh…” 

When all the enemies had been defeated, Rex slowly walked up to Dip, but didn’t touch her. “I knew you would come around and help us!”

“Who’d have thunk that the tyrannical, arrogant Rex Raptor would be a peacemaker?” Joey chuckled. 

“Sh-Shut up!” Rex blushed. “I’ll have you know that I didn’t do it because I wanted to! A nagging voice in my head told me to.”

“It… It did?” Amber sounded curious.

Joey interrupted whatever she was going to say next. “If this ‘nagging voice’ told you to jump off a bridge, would you?”

“It’s not uncommon to experience hallucinations in a pregnancy, but if it becomes frequent… We’re going to need to have a private talk about that later.”

“I’ll take you up on your offer, Doc!” Rex gave Dr. Balls a thumbs up.

“Um…” Dip felt awkward being in the literal middle of this conversation.

Joey turned to their new ally. “Hey, aren’t you technically one of the bad guys? Why should we trust you?”

“ This is why.” Dip lifted up her shirt to reveal several deep scars on her abdomen. “After my brothers disowned me, I was so ashamed of my powers that I tried to kill myself… It turns out that we Earthbound Gods are not capable of doing that. However, the incident left my reproductive system so badly damaged… Now, I’m infertile.”

“So you can’t have kids with Daddy.” Amber still wasn’t wholly convinced. “And you think that’s a good enough reason?”

“If it pleases you, Lady Amber, you can kill me as soon as you suspect me. You’re welcome, by the way, for killing an Earthbound God for you.”

“I…” Amber had to admit that killing Seymour was a good enough reason in and of itself. “Okay, we accept you. But you better not chicken out when it’s time to kill the other Gods.”

“L-Like, right now?” Joey shook his finger at the changing sky above them. “Where have I seen that spider symbol before?”

“It’s the Mark of Uru…” Amber’s eyes opened wide. “Daddy is coming!”

“Weevil…” Rex trembled in place, hugging his baby bump. “I’m not ready to face him yet!”

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to be.” So Dip said, but after trying to transform, she found she had no will to do so. “Dammit! Why can’t I…?”

Dr. Balls couldn’t hold onto his animal form either. “Such is the price we strong shifters have to pay… There’s nothing more we can do here, Dip. Let’s go to my office, before Weevil arrives! Hurry!”

“I’m not scared of that bug boy!” Joey got up, with only Red-Eyes Black Dragon to defend him. “Bring it!”

“Hahaha! Gladly!” Weevil came to the battlefield alone, but with all the confidence in the world. 

“And what makes you think you can take on half of an army by yourself?” Joey smirked.

“Because unlike your idiotic friends, I know better than to fully shift unless the situation demands of it.” Weevil’s arms and legs glowed bright red as he spared Kaiba a passing glance.

“You… little…” As strong as Kaiba was, he couldn’t even half-shift.

“Ah, yes, I remember you…” Weevil cackled upon seeing Kaiba. “You’re the reason why my father pushed me so hard… I would have been spared so much pain and suffering if it weren’t for you!”

“Do you honestly expect me to care about your pain and suffering?” Kaiba scoffed.

“I’ll happily make you care!” Weevil shot a quick ball of spider webs at Kaiba from which he couldn’t escape.

“I’m… I’m not afraid!” Despite what Joey said, after seeing Kaiba fall so easily to Weevil, he wasn’t fully confident in his own ability. “Get ‘im, Red-Eyes!”

Weevil easily pushed Joey’s monster - and Joey himself - out of the way. “So, that’s the best you could bring? Hah!”

“W-Weeves…” Rex fell to his knees as he and Weevil stared each other down.

“So that just leaves me and you, huh?” Weevil could hear Atem trying to sing from behind him, and shot him down before he could get another note in. “You should have brought less pathetic friends, Rex. They all thought I was the same pathetic ‘bug boy’ from before, and now they’re all paying the price!”

“I… I don’t think you’re pathetic.” Rex panted as he spoke, feeling more Braxton Hicks contractions. “You’re strong; you always have been. Everything bad that happened to you is just bad luck.”

“So you acknowledge it. But flattery isn’t going to get you anything, except a few more quick seconds of life.” Weevil pointed his right arms at Rex. “I would give you the chance to fight me now, but I already know you can’t. Gods, how boring.”

“Daddy! Stop!” Amber’s wings were so sore from her struggle against Guarddragon Justicia that she couldn’t fly another inch forward.

“Amber, you foolish girl. You should have killed me when you had the chance! Maybe then you wouldn’t have to see your dear mother die right before your eyes!” Weevil turned back to Rex. “I think I’ve kept you waiting long enough. Prepare to die!”

Right as Weevil raised his arm, however, a voice bellowed across the battlefield. “You will not touch him!”

“Now, where have I heard that voice before?” Joey wondered out loud.

“Joseph, it has been a while. It looks like you’re having trouble; do you need some help? Why don’t I… spruce up your Red-Eyes a bit?”

“How do you know my name, and what are you talking… about… Huh?” Joey noticed the Red-Eyes Black Dragon changing forms. 

“H-Hey!” Weevil finally showed a sign of weakness. “Get out of here, if you know what’s good for you!”

“Hmm?” Rex smiled at Weevil slyly. “Where has all your confidence from before gone, hotshot?”

“Grr!” Weevil turned back to Rex, readying an attack at him. “If it’s confidence you want, it’s confidence you’ll get! Hyaaaah!”

Just then, Joey stepped in, blocking Weevil’s attack with his newly forged sword. “Not if I can help it. Leave my friend alone!”

“Ha… ha… Your friend?”

“And mine, too! Dark Magician Girl the Dragon Knight, charge!” Atem ordered. 

“Aaaaaargh!” This attack slashed Weevil across the legs. “You motherfucking pharaoh! I’ll not let you defeat me again! ”

“You wanna bet on that?” Kaiba smirked with Doom Virus Dragon behind him. “Even if Atem can’t defeat you, I’ll gladly do the honours.”

“You…” Weevil lunged forward, but stumbled. “You’ll pay for-”

“Uru, that’s enough!” Anita suddenly arrived in hummingbird form. “Retreat - Watda’s orders.”

“But… But I can still-”

“I will do no such thing! We leave now!” Anita picked Weevil up with her wing.

“Dammit! Give him… back…” Amber shot several arrows at Anita that missed.

“Never mind them for now, Lady Amber…” Phuckdis looked upon the three people who had saved them. “Who are these people?”

“Is… Is that you, rich boy?” Joey could hardly recognize his former rival, who had aged 20 years since he saw him last, and now wore ancient Egyptian garb.

“Big Brooooo!” Mokuba jumped in the air as he hugged his older brother. “How have you and Atem been?”

“Atem is here too?” Joey looked to the pharaoh, who had hardly aged a day. “Yo.”

“‘Yo’ yourself!” Atem gave his best friend a high five.

“I… didn’t know that Aiko’s other child was still alive.” Spinos exchanged a few words with his elder nephew, and told Kaiba about his surviving family members.

“Then who’s the boy?” Joey gestured his head towards the young man that had arrived with Kaiba and Atem.

“Darned please to meet y’all! I’m Heka Kaiba, the son of Atem and Seto Kaiba!” Heka had a much more relaxed demeanour than either of his parents.

“Come to think of it… You’re a shifter too, aren’t you, Kaiba? So does that mean…”

“That’s right, Rex. I was the one who gave birth to him - after letting Atem top me once. I’ve also got three other kids back at home.”

“Brah, I know all about that.” Rex patted his older cousin’s shoulder.

“You’re… You’re Heka?” Amber hesitated to show herself before the Egyptian crown prince. “Do you remember me?”

Heka stopped socializing with the others when Amber approached him, and reached out a hand to her. “How could I forget that beautiful face of yours? Would you… let me touch it again?”

“Heka!” Amber brought Heka’s hand to her face. “Yes! Yes, of course! Oh, my love, you’re alive! I’ve missed this warm hand so much…”

“What?” Rex blinked as he watched Amber get comfortable with this guy he just met. “What’s going on?”

“How ever did you survive?” Amber ignored her mother.

“I’m not gonna bore you with the details. Let’s just say if it wasn’t for daddy dear protecting you and whisking me away to safety at the last second, we’d both be dead.”

“Maybe my future is bright after all…” Amber cried tears of joy that Heka wiped away. 

“Oh, stop thinking about the future and focus on the present.” As Heka kissed Amber, he noticed the look of pain on her face. “Babe? Is everything okay?”

“I.. uh… might have gotten hurt in that last battle. Specifically on my butt.”

“Then how about I use some ancient Egyptian magic and help you feel better?” Heka showed no shame in lightly squeezing Amber’s butt before massaging it.

“Okay, that’s it, buster!” Rex huffed as he tried to break Heka and Amber apart. “Just who do you think you are, fondling my daughter that way?”

“Papa, you don’t have to worry about anything. Remember when I mentioned my boyfriend a few times before? This is him. He’s also a really good singer.” Amber twirled a lock of Heka’s hair. “By the way, love, you’ve got to perform a solo for everyone sometime. I’ve missed your gorgeous voice.”

“I take it you’re Amber’s mom in the present day?” Heka struck a pose. “Well, how do you do? What Amber didn’t tell you is that while I’m not a shifter, I’m one hell of a magic user. Your buddy Joey would probably be dead if it wasn’t for me. Haha!”

“Haha…” Joey answered with a half-hearted chuckle. “The pharaoh’s son is… one interesting fella, ain’t he? I bet he drives Atem and Kaiba up the wall.”

“Word. He’s nothing like my other self.”

“Hmph. I suppose I’ll tolerate your relationship with Amber for now. But make her cry, and I’ll make you regret it.”

“Daaaw, you’re a protective mother already.” Tricera smiled.

Kaiba didn’t like his son’s odd behaviour. “Heka, that’s quite enough. You need to act more like a prince and not make a fool of your father.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Papa.”

“Pharaoh…” Amber couldn’t look Atem in the eye. “I… Well… Thanks. Even though Daddy has caused you so much trouble, you’ve saved our lives today. And you, Kaiba. I wish you had come sooner, but it’s better late than never.”

“What do you mean?”

Phuckdis stepped forward. “In our future, we have a legend of a sacred creature known as the God-Shattering Star. He is said to be the only one capable of defeating the Crimson Devil, the strongest of the Earthbound Gods. Unfortunately, he never came… until now. Kaiba, we believe that you’re the one who will save us all.”

“That’s what I thought too.” Amber broke her hug with Heka. “And you summoned the three legendary dragons with you, dragons that are said to forge master weapons.”

“Timaeus…” Atem smiled at his old friend. “It’s been so long.”

“That explains the Red-Eyes Black Dragon Sword…” Rex could only take a quick glance at Joey’s sword before turning away, the flashbacks of their Orichalcos duel coming back to him. 

“I… uh… don’t feel like I really did anything, but okay.”

“Don’t be so modest, God-Shattering Star.” Phuckdis knelt in front of Kaiba. “You are worth all the praise in the world.”

Amber knelt too. “You’re the only one who can save Daddy. Please… Please, help us.”

“Gee, I didn’t know my role as queen of Egypt required me to help people from the future. Just how many worlds do I need to save?” Kaiba facepalmed. “Fine, I’ll do it. But this will be the last time that I do something nice for you dweebs.”

“That’s what you said last time you tried to save the world, rich boy.”

“Oh, put a sock in it, Wheeler.”

“Our circle of friends is finally back together again…” Téa pulled Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Atem, and Kaiba in for a group hug. “If we’ve saved the world twice, we can definitely do it thrice.”

“Sigh…” Rex sat down on the concrete as he waited for Dr. Balls’ nurses to get a stretcher for him. “I just wish it could wait until after finals.”

[excusemin]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG GAME

tagged by @katobobato , this was really interesting to do :)

1. What do you prefer to be called name wise?

-I honestly don’t mind, I go by Sammy or Minnie. I get Sammy from my middle name and Minnie from my art account and well here too hehe.

2. When is your birthday?

-June 30th 

3. Where do you live?

-In Cali :)))

4. Three things you are doing right now?

-Currently listening to D-2 for the thousandth time, writing the second part to my mini series if I can call it that??? and well writing this small little thing :)

5. Four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

- Welp, I’ve followed some of these bands before and I just officially considered myself a part of their fandoms: Carat (Seventeen) and Moa (txt).2 new fandoms that have caught my eye have been Stay (Stray Kids) and NCTzens (NCT 127). If anyone wants to show me more kpop bands to get into, by all means go ahead. I’d rather fall in love with another kpop boy than get my heartbroken by any other guy. 

6. How is the pandemic treating you?

-I’m safe and sound but my anxiety has gotten way worse than the usual. I’m working on that though. My job has become a bit hectic since I have to do it all online but it’s not impossible :)

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

- I have a couple on a loop hehe. Set me free by Agust D(it helps my insomnia) and God’s Menu by Stray Kids( lort this song got me du du du du du du )

8. Recommend a movie?

- I have not been watching any movies recently. All anime hehe I’m a weakling for Attack on Titans but a movie that I actually liked was The Forest. 

9. How old are you?

-22 

10. School, university, occupation, other?

-College student, I would’ve graduated this year but the pandemic happened. 

11. Do you prefer hot or cold?

-I adore the cold so much because fluffy sweaters, fluffy socks, fluffy blankets... the list can go on but I’ll spare y’all from that 😅

12. Name one fact others may not know about you.

-I have a stutter. I stutter when I’m nervous or excited. I just stutter alot hehe it’s so embarrassing.  

13. Are you shy?

-I guess so, but I have always been that person that wont sit around and wait for people to come up to them. I still get really nervous when I’m talking to someone in person or online, it’s nerve wracking but hey new friends are welcome uwu

14. Do you have any preferred pronouns?

She/her

15. Any pet peeves?

-negative talk about someone, it just doesn’t sit well with me. When people belittle me overall, it makes me feel useless and weak. 

16. What’s your favorite “dere” type?

-Hands down tsundere, it’s the cutest thing ever uwu

17. Rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

-6/10? I’m just really bad at rating my life. Like I wish in a better mental space and just overall better. I’m not super happy about where I am now but it is better than where I was before and I suppose that is enough for me to keep on going. I’ll always work to be better and happier. 

18. What’s your main blog?

- This is my main blog uwu

19. List your side blogs and what they are used for.

- On here, this is my only blog. On instagram and tik tok, it’s excuseminnie (both art blogs where I post fanart or art in general that I create.)

20. Is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

- Well, I am a really shy and anxious so I tend to say sorry alot in the beginning. Also, I have barely started talking to people online more. I struggle with it because it’s something I am not used to because my ex boyfriend was really manipulative and made me distance myself from everyone. So there might be times where I’ll take a while because I’m freaking out of what I should message back (also sorry for bringing that up). Also I “uwu” alot. 

Tagging: @dontaskshhhhh, @papillonsgf , @sketchguk , @sweetpeajeon and anyone else who wants to do this :)

[katkonstant]

Harrow the Ninth: Act 1 Analysis - Local Bone Lady Newly Single and Ready for Mental Breakdown

I am so scared! so confused! and so turned on by the sepulchered mystery of Harrow the Ninth’s Act 1! And because it’s quarantine time, it’s organizational mapping and near-obsessive theorizing time baby. 

I’ll warn you: this got LONG. 

Spoilers galore. 

This post is to try and organize my own thoughts as well as preserve in time that I don’t know shit when HTN finally hits. All to answer the big question: What in the necro-hell is going on? Here’s what we know as fact:

Gideon the Ninth was about Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter and Badass Emo Princess, and her not hugged enough but grinning through the pain sword lesbian cavalier, Gideon Nav. A catalogue of their romp of death in Canaan House.

Harrow the Ninth is currently cataloguing two things: (1) Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter and Mentally Unstable Concussion, and her cavalier, Ortus Nigenad and their guided tour of Canaan House. AND (2) Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Baby Lyctor, aboard His Imperial and Unending Magic School Bus.

Similar to @Siadea‘s wonderful post (x), I am all aboard the Timeline Fuckery Theory (TFT). Operating under the TFT, I will refer to our cast of characters accordingly. To summarize the TFT, the major point is thus:

In the prologue of Harrow, I think the Harrowhark of Gideon the Ninth (hereby Harrow1) settled in, swan dove into the River, somehow backstroked in time to when she woke up on the Emperor’s ship, and then she resurfaced (with Ianthe’s help), stripped of all memory&detection involving Keyword:Gideon. 

Gideon  [ORTUS]

It appears Harrow1 has programmed Harrow2 with a find+replace formula for ‘Gideon’ and replacing it with ‘Ortus’ on a pure, sensory input level. I have NO idea how she (or something else) did this. Prologue Ianthe Tridentarius telling Harrow, “I know what you’ve done, and I know how to reverse it” makes me think Harrow did this to herself. 

It scrubs the past as well as the present. Proof - (1) When Harrow2 gets the Emperor’s invitation to Canaan House, we gather from context that Ortus asks her if she’s considered someone else. Only we read it as Ortus saying, “have you considered ORTUS NIGENAD?” AND THEN THE SCENE STARTS OVER, but rewound to moments before. Like a glitch in the Matrix; (2) The Emperor’s lips distort when he says “Ortus Nigenad did not die for nothing” and is confused when Harrow2 says it back to him; (3) When the Emperor later says the name of the third Lyctor ‘Ortus’, Harrow2 starts bleeding from the ears and passes out.....We’ll get to him in a sec.

The three syllables Prologue Harrow dies on: Could be ‘Gideon’ and the mark of her successful mindflaying from recognizing the word. Could also be ‘Alecto’. Hell, could even be ‘Nigenad’. Inconclusive.

The Chilly Weirdo Harrow Has the Hots For (alternatively, who tf are you?)

The Lady of the Locked Tomb is appearing and disappearing in Harrow2′s mind, both at her recall of Canaan House and in her (current?) stay with the Emperor. 

She has Griddle’s Eyes. As we’re familiar with the lyctors, we know that when their cavs are “eaten”, necromancers’ eyes change to their cavalier’s colors. OR the Lady has simply taken on Griddle’s eyes to put Harrow2 at ease.

She has the voice of who Harrow2 needs to hear. We’ve heard the Lady sound like Pelleamena (Harrow’s mommy dearest), Crux, and Aiglamene (Captain of the Ninth guard). Both of these are people who loved Harrow1. 

These characteristics ^ lead me to believe that the Lady can see Harrow1′s obsession with her and is either Manipulating Harrow2 by manufacturing her voice and eyes, or is genuinely trying to love Harrow2 in return. (She may have been present for Harrow’s entire life. See my Ch.3**)

What does she want from Harrow2? --> I think, without support or proof, that the Lady wants to Rise Again (as villains entombed are wont to do). As she doesn’t have a corporeal form, she’ll likely need Harrow’s help. Underlying idea being: the Emperor dies when his Unholy Other Half returns. It would be a little contrived to have the “beautiful lady revealed to be the big bad” device be the GTN and the HTN twist but we’ll see. 

Interesting point: The Lady doesn’t like His Holy Frumpyness & Co. “Lie. Lie now.” She’s either protecting herself further down the line, or the Lady thinks that Mercy would have harmed Harrow2 because of this info. It’s possible this is the same interest if she needs Harrow’s help to free her. 

Now Let’s Talk about Swords

AKA the sexiest part of this dissertation. 

Harrow the Concussed is carrying Griddle’s Two hander. Not just any two hander. It is in fact and distinctly, Griddle’s sword. This is supported by (1) Harrow2 was given the sword by the Emperor “as a gesture” implying he knows Griddle and the sword’s significance to Harrow1. And (2) The severe physical reactions Harrow2 has to the sword’s loathing. In GTN Harrow1 mentioned to Griddle, “I have always felt like that sword hates me”. (this in and of itself is mystifying but I’ve got bigger occult fish to fry)

Either Griddle’s Sword or Cytherea is alive. The fade to black of Harrow rekilling Cytherea is a mystery within a Christmas light tangle of other mysteries and I’m not fucking with it. BUT. There are Five lifeforms aboard the ship that traversed the River: Mercymorn, the Emperor, Ianthe, and Harrow. Harrow2 tells us that the Body/the Lady isn’t in sight. That leaves inanimate objects: Cytherea’s body, or the two hander that hates Harrow. 

Harrow2, the Concussed, is not carrying a rapier. Only in the Prologue does Harrow have a rapier on her hip. Ortus the Alternate cav carries a rapier. See the next theory for why this is significant. 

The Events of Canaan House Two are Not Real. 

These are my weakest theories. They’re all weak, but these ones are chief weaklings. The Time Fuckery Theory’s biggest snag is ‘Canaan House: What’s Real?’, and I think only the events with Harrow2 on the ship with Ianthe are actually occurring. 

I think someone is soul/spirit guiding Harrow2 on this Canaan House Round II to show her something. Proof: (1) The repeated “Is this how it happened?”/”This isn’t how it happened.” Clearly indicate that this IS a repeated experience for Harrow, and not the original. (2) Ortus glitches a bit, looks at Harrow2 and says “You never did have much of an imagination.” Someone who knows Harrow1 made him say this. I think. (3) If we count who possibly could spirit-guide Harrow2 on this quest, we have to find the denominator candidates: the only people who knew Harrow1 at Canaan House and at Drearburh are Gideon, and Harrow1 herself. And - if the Lady really has been following her around, the Lady of the Locked Tomb. (4) This theory cannot account for the strobing red egg hallucinations on paper Harrow2 is being delivered. 

Second explanation: it’s all happening in Harrow’s head, and Harrow1 is the spirit guide. In support: There is a surprising amount of explanation and character depth from Ortus. I believe Harrow1 knows Ortus enough from childhood to be able to project him onto Harrow2 this way. 

Third explanation: Because the people Harrow2 is interacting with are all dead, it’s microscopically possible Harrow2 is tripping some soul-shrooms in the River and having the souls of Canaan House teach her something via flashback. In support: Prologue Harrow says five pairs of eyes close to submerge into the River, but hers would not open again. Incredibly vague, but could mean she was going to be spending a significant amount of time in the River. This theory is unlikely, as Harrow is a bone adept. Souls are squishy and freaky to her. Unlikely also from what we saw of the River. Ie; the River is an inhospitable predator which ripped Cassiopea apart and scares the hell out of Mercy and the Emperor. Not an ideal destination spirit-walk vacation spot. Plus, the only clear reasoning we get from Harrow about why she’s descending into the River is because she knows she’s going to die (although she tells Ianthe she has no plans to die)

Things to Note: (1) Teacher immediately spills the Sleeper beans, lets the laboratory cat out of the bag, and unmasks the key mystery. I think who/whatever is guiding Harrow2 around makes this happen legitimately just to save time. (2) Harrow2 is learning things from Ortus, Teacher, Abigail Pent, etc that Harrow1 and Gideon didn’t know.

If the Events of Canaan House Round Two ARE Real. 

If the Great Value Canaan House timeline is actually happening and are physically influential, the implications are fucking vast, because now we’re considering the multiverse of how time works. I am not about to get into that shit because I do (contrary to this post’s existence’s suggestion) have a life, and I don’t feel like rededicating it to the theory of relativity and time dilation. 

The biggest question though would then become: How would events have unfolded if Ortus had gone to Canaan House and not Griddle? The only conclusion to that is: everyone would be dead and Cytherea would be alive. Which does not jive with the happenings of Emperor Frizzle’s Magic NecroBus and Harrow2 (many are alive, and Cytherea is dead). It could be that Cytherea is, in fact, alive and needs re-killing via the Act 1 end of Harrow2 stabbing her. I can’t say.

What does freak me out about Canaan2 is Harrow herself. 

Not her insanity, mind you, but the fact that Harrow2 is hilarious. She’s always been acidic and funny, but Harrow2 is crude and funny. This is very, very bad. She makes a remark about the term ‘bone frenzy’ that Ortus says only someone who’d prefer ‘prurient magazines’ would think of. Can anyone guess who might be more incline than Harrow to prefer prurient magazines? Say a messy sword necrolesbian with a subscription to Frontline Titties of the Fifth?

Harrow2 is also not chasing Palamedes Sextus around the grounds of Canaan House in a near-suicidal race to Lyctorhood. 

Not only is she not working herself to death, but Harrow is doing the opposite: she is socializing. With the Fourth and Fifth! She’s caustic and rude while she does it, but she’s still spending time around them for whatever reason. 

All these behaviors are Griddle behaviors and they make. me. nervous. 

Is Harrow2 Actually a Lyctor?

Harrow’s Dramatis Personae section lists ‘Harrowhark the First’ with a huge and glaring and delightful redacted section below her name. If someone truly had the time, I’m sure they could sleuth out the layers of the censorship and find out what it says. However, it’s plain that the underlying text does NOT say ‘Gideon Nav, her cavalier’. So we’re left with more questions - who or what died to give Harrow her power? .....As a point of interest, it looks like the original writing has been overlaid with even more text. 

Ortus’ eyes were black - the same shade as Harrow’s. Harrow2 wouldn’t be able to confirm or deny that she had successfully eaten her Canaan Redux cavalier.

In the prologue, Harrow1 calls herself “half a lychtor” implying that either 1) she’s simply not trained, or 2) something went wrong in her lyctorhood creation

And then we have this weird Chapter 3** internal narration of Harrow2′s childhood without Griddle. And she’s.. absolutely bananas. She grows up a ghoulish, lonely, nut job. But she still says she had committed the indelible sin halfway. That she hadn’t been able to choke him (Ortus) down. 

Her manifestations of power don’t add up. First, Ianthe (undisputedly a lyctor) shoves Babs’ knife through her hand and has no problem with it, or healing right up. Harrow2... isn’t so lucky. Prologue Harrow is also in the process of dying. Conversely, while in the River, Mercymorn dismisses the idea that Harrow2 could possibly be using theorems and freaks out when she discovers Harrow can. Conclusion being: Either Harrow2 is incredible weak, or incredibly powerful but untrained, or she is Something Else Entirely*.

Harrow2 isn’t experiencing lyctoral indigestion. Cytherea tells Ianthe right after she eats Babs, “I can see him fighting you. Mine [meaning her cav, Loveday] came willingly, and it still hurt for a century.” We know Babs still fights Ianthe in HTN, as her eyes are usually swapping shades. It’s not something Harrow1 or 2 mentions as a problem. 

* My working theory is that Harrow2 is kind of lyctor-ish and being protected by the Lady, the Sword, or Griddle (who might be incarnate in either).  

Side note: It might be too far into the weeds to wonder about but I want to know what pregnancy would do to a lyctor. If we follow the Die Young but Beautiful and Powerful practices of the Seventh House, Dulcinea’s family uses their crappy genes as internal combustion engines: cells dying within them allow a perpetual source of thanergy. On the opposite end of that same theory, a necromancer constantly producing thalergy (life and cell growth) should therefore be significantly weaker, right?

This^ is only relevant when considering the other theory:

Papa Gideon [ORTUS] knocked up a fellow Lyctor. 

While it would explain the creepy “egg” texts Harrow2 is hallucinating, as well as why Cytherea spared Griddle multiple times at Canaan house, I doubt this theory for a few reasons: 

Of the available lyctors able to carry children, there is Cassiopeia, Anastasia, Mercymorn, and Cytherea. We only know Mercy and Cytherea.

It’s strongly implied that Cytherea and her cav, Loveday, were in a relationship. Since Loveday is technically still inside of Cytherea, I doubt she wanted to date around. 

The Emperor strives to present the Lyctors as siblings. This a) props himself up as the holy and imperial papa bear to guide and govern them, b) perpetuates the eternal and indestructible bond of siblings, and c) kills any idea of inter-lyctoral hooking up. Can you even imagine the destruction a Jersey Shore: Unholy Power bar fight would wreak?  

I’m not fully convinced Lyctor Gideon [ORTUS] is Griddle’s father. While it would make sense in terms of stature (Lyctor G/O is a single rippling muscle and Griddle’s biceps are... noteworthy), Silas Octakiseron told Gideon that her mother had hair just the same shade as her (source: Sister Glaurica’s toiling soul). Could be that Griddle’s Mom’s soul screaming “Gideon!” was her calling for the Lyctor, her brother/other relation. 

However, I DO believe Griddle is... more than. She wasn’t killed by the nerve gas, and Harrow2′s eyes are not Griddle Gold. 

As a second side note, Lyctor Gideon [ORTUS]’s cav was named Pyrrha Dve. This is exciting to me because of my slutty fandom tendencies and because a name like ‘Pyrrha’ begs for Tragic Backstory, and I’m here for it. Also, I want more interaction with Augustine as he’s who Ianthe says “won’t come save” Harrow. Eye emoji.  

Alecto

As far as I’m aware, there are no solid leads on who or what Alecto the Ninth is. Casting about in wildly unwarranted guesswork, I can throw a few baseless theories out; 

Alecto is Griddle’s truer name (possibly birth name or even what she’s called if when she is brought back);

Alecto is the Lady of the Locked Tomb; 

Alecto is the Emperor’s Cav. In Harrow’s ‘Dramatis Personae’, The Emperor is listed as well as his lyctors and their cavaliers. Except, the Emperor does not have a deceased cav. He has “A.L.”, his guardian. A.L. =Alecto, mayhaps?; 

Alecto, a combination of (2) and (3). The Lady is supposedly the Emperor’s death and who he could not kill twice. If she were his ‘guardian’ she would be a) more powerful than him, and b) someone he was emotionally attached to which he couldn’t bring himself to kill again. 

Things I Cannot and Refuse to Account For:

Ianthe Tridetarius became a sewn tongue as a favor for Harrow1. Wtf. 

Ortus Nigenad’s self-insert cavalier epic of Matthias Nonius. Wtf. 

**The entirety of Chapter 3 is either true or it’s not. Wtf was that shit.  

The psychotic “You lied”/”Egg” texts Harrow2 is hallucinating. Wtf.

This is.... all probably incorrect, and I applaud you if you made it this far. I could keep going, the material of Act 1 is that dense. But in answer to The Great Big WTF that is Harrow Act 1 - my theory is simple. 

TLDR; I think Harrowhark Nonagesimus is tearing down the laws of the universe to bring back Gideon the Ninth.

[loveaurapearl]

Tiger Misanthropic (Part 1)

(Fanfic I made, about my fan fusion of Jasper and Steven. Takes place after Prickly Pair and has reference to self-harm and mental breakdowns, mostly in part two. Here’s a link to part two by the way. Link: https://loveaurapearl.tumblr.com/post/190464683545/tiger-misanthropic-part-2 )

Steven looked at the outside of his house, Bismuth, Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst were helping rebuild the building after Cactus Steven had runaway. He sadly smiled as Bismuth walked up to him. “Thanks for helping us rebuild my house, Bismuth. Sorry for the inconvenience.” He said with a little bit of shame. Bismuth laughed. “It’s alright, Steven. It’s no problem. Besides, after finishing up on the construction of little homeworld, I was hoping for another big job.” She said with gusto. Steven laughed awkwardly and looked to the side. Bismuth noticed this and put her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay? The OG gems told me about the cactus creature and how it mimicked you. If there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m always up to the task if you don’t want to tell the others.” Bismuth offered. Steven looked at her and softly smiled. “Thanks for the offer. But… I’ll be fine. I just… need some space.” He said as he tried to back off telling anyone. Bismuth folded her arms. “Steven, you know better than anyone that bottling your emotions isn’t healthy. You NEED to talk to SOMEONE about this. If you can’t trust me or the Crystal Gems, who can you trust with these feelings?” Bismuth questioned him. He sighed and clutched his fists. “I know. I know. But I don’t want to hurt anyone's feelings… especially after what happened with Cactus Steven.” Steven told her. He felt nervous. Bismuth sighed. “Steven, I know you’re scared. But remember, you can trust the Crystal Gems to handle this. Just talk to them. However, if you’re really that scared of hurting their feelings, perhaps you should talk to someone who won’t care that you are saying whatever you’re afraid of saying. I mean, it’s not like they’d care.” Bismuth explained as she provided options. Steven blinked as an idea came into his head. “Someone who won’t care… I just know just the gem for the job. Thanks, Bismuth. I’m gonna go out and talk to them. You tell the gems I’m off to Little Homeworld.” Steven said with a happy grin. Bismuth smiled. “Well, okay then. Just be sure you don’t destroy anything! I’ll go back to Buismuth!” Bismuth said as she made a terrible pun. Steven chuckled and walked over to the Dondai. He got in and soon began to drive away.

The air was crisp as the young teen walked through the woods. He looked ahead and then stopped and looked back. He groaned. “Why am I doing this? She’s not going to listen to me, and she doesn’t want to teach me anything. This is NEVER going to work!” Steven told himself as he began to have doubts. He shocked his head. “No, I need to talk to SOMEONE! I need to do something other than be around the crystal gems. To be around the mess I made.” The last part said out of shame. He turned around and continued walking until he was in Jasper’s area. He stopped just before the plucked ground, took in a deep breath and looked around for Jasper. He made sure to look for anything bumpy since it would be a given that she was camouflaging herself again. However, he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“Hello? Jasper, I know you’re here. I’ve come to talk to you.” Steven yelled out. An annoyed groan came from the cave and Jasper exited from behind the drape. She looked at the boy with a frustrated look on her face. “What are you doing here? Do you want to recruit me for your crummy school again or do you want me to teach you how to fight like a real quartz? I was really hoping that since you stopped visiting me awhile back, you had given up trying to ‘convert’ me into believing the same weak ideals as you.” Jasper interrogated him. Steven rolled his eyes. “Jasper, I’m not here to force you to do something you don’t want to do. Besides, I’ve given up running the school. I don’t have the authority to enroll you as a teacher anymore. Not to mention, I only want to help you! Nothing about you has changed since the last time we’ve met. You’re still here, still hating yourself, still directionless! I was at least TRYING to give you a purpose!” Steven yelled at her. Jasper snorted and chuckled. “Wait… (Laughs.) Did YOU give up on that crummy school of yours? I thought you loved bossing other gems around, Rose. Using them so you could feel like you were one of the Diamonds. But I guess a weakling like you couldn’t handle being in charge.” Jasper retorted, getting under Steven’s skin.

“NO! I made the school to help gems! I didn’t make it so I could feel like a diamond! Plus, I’m not Rose Quartz or Pink Diamond! Get it through your head! Besides, the Crystal gems can handle the school without me. All I was doing was getting in the way of everyone’s dreams.” Steven said as his anger turned into self-hatred. He shocked his head as Jasper laughed. “You truly are a worthless piece of dirt, Rose. Why are you even here to begin with? Shouldn’t you be oft doing whatever earthlings do instead of bothering me.” Jasper asked as she crossed her arms in smug pride. Steven looked at her with a worried look on his face. “Well, I… I…” He began to say but began to freeze up. He lowered his head and whispered to himself, “Come on Universe. You can do this. Just… Just talk about it.” He took a deep breath and then lifted his head. “I… need your help.” He said as the words felt like daggers in his chest. This surprised the big Cheeto ball, but she quickly sneered at him. “With what? Helping fight some monster you unleash, or maybe helping those earthlings? Couldn’t you just use or fuse with one of your weakling gems to deal with it?” Jasper asked, not really wanting to help him. The young teen shocked his head. “No, it’s nothing like that. You saw what was wrong with me when we fought recently. You are the only gem whom I can trust to talk about my problems. I… I can’t talk to the others about this, otherwise, I’ll just hurt them,” He said as his mind immediately flashed back to his fight with Cactus Steven and what happened at the reef.

“What are you even talking about, dirtbag?” Jasper as she walked closer to him as a threat. Steven took in a deep breath and then looked Jasper in the eyes. “Jasper… you were right about me. I am nothing without my friends. Everyone in Beach city is moving away to bigger and better stuff, and I don’t know what to do with my life. I thought if I worked really hard at Little Homeworld, I could fill this empty void in my heart, but after Little Homeworld’s Graduation, I realized that the school doesn’t need me. I tried improving Amethyst’s mentorship plan, but I took it over and forced everyone into the roles I wanted. I couldn’t fix Volleyball’s scar… my mom’s first pearl from the damage dealt to her by Pink Diamond in the past. I was tricked into believing Bluebird Azurite wanted to change for the better, then had to watch my dad lose a good chunk of his hair to get away from her. I had to go through a lot of trouble making a gem safety video for Sunstone, using MYSELF as the genie pig for the lesson. I’ve been using that Pink form you saw me in our fight, throwing tantrums left and right. Bubbling my friends in a dome and almost crushing them to death! And, when I tried to relax and enjoy gardening, I create a cactus monster that Spewed Out EVERY TERRIBLE THOUGHT I HAVE ABOUT MYSELF AND THE GEMS, THEN LEFT ME ALONE AFTER I APOLOGIZED!” He soon fell to his knees and began to cry. “Why… why can’t I fix this? Why do I need people? Why… why am I like this?” He asked himself, the pain was overwhelming. Jasper looked at the boy in shock. She was trying her best to process what just happened. She then sneered at him. “Pathetic.” She said, causing Steven to sniffle and look up to her. Tears were streaking his face as her massive form hovered over him.

“I knew you were some snot nose kid before, but this… this is just low, even for you. You badger on and on about how I NEED help and how you try to give me a purpose, when you, the ‘savior’ of the galaxy, don’t even know your own. Hahahaha. Oh, the irony. You truly are something kid.” Jasper said. Steven holds himself, the pain of her words dug deep. He gritted his teeth. “THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR!” He yelled, his body becoming engulfed in pink light. Jasper jumped back. Steven stood up as the tears flowed down his face. “I… I just wanted to hear someone say, ‘It’s going to be alright Steven… Everything is going fine. We love you.’ BUT NO! All you do mock me! Call me names and belittle me for feeling this way! I thought you would understand! I thought you understood how it felt to be constantly under the pressure to be something more! I thought you could relate your feelings of worthlessness to my own! I thought you would help me out in my time of need! I… I thought you would fuse with me…” He said, the last bit, surprised both himself and Jasper.

“You… want to fuse with me?” Jasper said in surprise. Steven held himself as the ‘pink state’ died down and he returned to his normal colors. “Yeah… I… I guess I do. Although I never thought I would say THAT to you, I guess you know now. I always remembered how you said nobody wanted to fuse with you. How you had to climb your way of Earth and had been fighting for your whole life to be free. I guess a part of me wanted to be that person to help you and fuse with. I never said that because… I… I was scared. I was scared of you rejecting me or worse, our fusion would be as unstable as Malachite. After all, we don’t see eye to eye, you JUST belittled me and said those awful things, and you don’t want to be a part of my life. I don’t want to give away my feelings to someone whom I can’t trust.” Steven confessed. Jasper looked down as she thought about what Steven said. The boy let out a sigh and got up. “I don’t even know why I bothered coming here. I guess my gut was right and I shouldn’t have gone up to visit you. I’ll be going now. I guess I’ll see you never. After all, why do I need to come back if I know you won’t help me?” He said in a cold voice. He began to walk away, but Jasper grabbed his hand, surprising the boy. He turned around and let out a confused “Huh?”. Jasper looked at the boy, then back at the ground. She began to move her mouth, but she soon shut it as if she had trouble talking. The young human/gem hybrid wasn’t used to seeing this from her. “Human… I never thought I was ever going to say this to you but… it’s going to be alright. I’m here.” She said, confusing the boy even more.

“Um… what’s going on?” He asked, very confused and a bit scared. Jasper sighed and then looked to the side. “Y… you are the first person to ever say something like that to me. Even after all this time, you still thought you could trust me with something as important as a fusion with you. That you trust me enough to think we are equals on the battlefield. It honestly surprised me.” Jasper said. Steven blushed in embarrassment. “Well, I could feel how much pain was in your heart, especially when you were corrupting. I thought if I could heal you, we could be friends. I thought fusion could help us see eye to eye for once. I don’t know if I could ever see the world as you do, but maybe this is just we need.” Steven said, offering a hand of friendship, “Although, it would be nice if you just called me Steven Universe instead of Rose.” He chuckled. Jasper rolled her eyes. “Fine. Just, don’t try and force me to live under the ocean like Lapis did or runaway like that Corrupted monster.” Jasper said. Steven smiled. “My lungs couldn’t even handle that much water. (Laughter.) But remember Jasper, we can’t stay the fusion for too long. Our minds could begin to deteriorate. And if you ever feel like you don’t want to be a part of this fusion, you can just unfuse with me and I’ll be fine. I won’t hold you back or try to keep us together as Lapis did.” Steven said, making sure Jasper knew all the rules. She just rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever.” She stated in a calm voice.

“You take the lead. I’ve never seen you dance except with Lapis, so you’ll have to go first. I’ll sync my dance to yours.” Steven said a smile on his face. Jasper grumbled and began to dance. Her movement was crisp and clear like a ballerina dancer. Steven followed, syncing his movement with Jasper. The two gems stones glowed as they got closer. They soon do a pose together and their bodies soon turn into light and fuse into one large being. The light dissipated as the new being opened their eyes. “Wow! This… is new. This… is different.” They let out in surprise. They had a female voice, but it wasn’t a mash-up of Jasper or Steven’s voice, it was its own voice and it was a slightly higher pitch than Jasper and it sounds somewhat like Smokey Quartz, although not quiet.

The fusion looked at itself. They were about a few feet taller than Jasper, they had two sets of eyes, two arms and two legs. They had medium length brown hair that went to below their shoulders. They had two fairly-size horns that were larger than what Jasper had with the one on the left being larger, the one on the left was bent to the left and then shifted up, they had the same partner design as Jasper’s horns although their colors were mostly dark purple with one horn with an under layer of light purple. A dark purple wavy stripe was across most of Steven’s eyes, some of Jasper’s eyes, and most of Jasper’s gem. The gem was a light yellow, gold and dark brown color. A dark golden-brown stripe was on the fusion’s left cheek, and a stripe of dark golden-brown was across their upper chest. The top eyes of the fusion belonged to Jasper and the lower ones were Steven’s although his eyes looked sinister and they had fangs. Their main color was a light golden brown with darker golden-brown stripes, but they could also see from their arms that they also had two other colors, a deep dark purple-red and a lighter version of that color. They had only two arms with strips of dark golden-brown, dark purple and light purple on their right arm, and a stripe of light brown on their left arm and dark purple and light purple splotches on their left hand. They wore Steven’s jacket but the sleeves only reached halfway up their arms, Steven shirt wasn’t long enough so their stomach area was exposed, although Jasper’s top overlaid Steven’s shirt, covering most of it and blocking out most of the star with only the top bit poking out. Steven’s gem was exposed and around his gem were dark purple and light purple splotches around the gemstone like Cherry Quartz, although there was another blotch of dark purple and light purple on the right of their stomach, separate from the ones near the gem. The gem itself shows multiple shades of gold, yellow, and brown. Steven’s pants reached all the way to their ankles with Jasper’s boots on their feet. However, what surprised them the most was the fact that they had a long lizard-like tail with a row of spikes leading to the end of the tail. The spikes were a mix of the light golden-brown and the darker golden-brown while the tail itself had an upper layer of dark purple scales and a ‘belly’ layer of light purple scales.

“Wh-what the? A… a tail? Why do we have a tail? Why is it like that? If it’s a sign of corruption from you, Jasper, it should be like a dog’s tail, since ya know, that’s kind of what your corrupted form looked like.” The fusion asked itself as it began to panic. Suddenly the fusion slapped itself and took a deep breath. “Calm yourself, obviously this is Steven’s contribution to the fusion. B-but if it’s me, then does that mean I could? UGH! Shut up and calm down! You panicking like this isn’t going to solve anything, Universe. Besides, I don’t see why you should. Unless, you think us uncorrupted gems can NEVER fuse, otherwise we spread the ‘problem’ of corruption.” The fusion began to argue itself, pitching itself up whenever it was Steven in control and pitching itself down for Jasper. The fusion took in a deep breath and began to calm down. “No, everything is fine. We’re fine. This is fine… we’re just… fine.” They said, then smiled. They looked at their hands. “This… is fine.” They said again, then looked around in wonder. “So… this is how it feels to be us, huh. It… feels different. We don’t even know how to feel about ourselves. Still, what should we do now that we’re like this? We don’t want to just stay here and train. We want to experience this new existence. To do things we normally feel as Jasper…and maybe as Steven.” The fusion said, then an idea popped into their mind. “Oh! How about going to beach City! There are games and rides like Whackerman and Video games! But, ugh, that is so Human! I don’t want to interact with those… things. Oh, come on, Jasper, we got to meet halfway.” The fusion told itself.

The fusion sighed and held its nose gem. “Fine. We’ll go. Can we fly? I don’t know. Steg and Smokey Quartz can. Speaking of, what are we?” The fusion asked himself. They began to think. “Jasper and Pink Diamond…Rose quartz… ugh. I don’t know. We’re brown, we have strips, we have a tail, so maybe if we think together maybe it’ll just click like that. So… what’s gold/brown, has stripped, and has a tail… wait… a tiger! We’re Tiger Philanthropist… wait, who? Oh, an identity I made for wrestling way back. I could tell you his backstory if you want. … No. But we’re not this Tiger whatever, we’re a gem. What gem that’s like a Tiger? Wait… Tiger’s Eye! We’re a Tiger’s Eye!” Tiger’s Eye said as they realized what they were. They chuckled to themselves. “Aw man, that’s SO COOL!” They soon giggled to themselves. After a few seconds, they calmed down. “So, can we fly? I don’t know, let’s find out.” Tiger wondered before becoming determined.

They soon jumped high into the air, a few feet above the trees. They shifted their bodies to move forward, but they soon noticed that they weren’t gaining any height, they were just falling slowly towards the exit of the forest. “Ugh, no, we only have your floating powers.” They said in anger, but this made them begin to fall faster. They quickly grab onto a tree before they fell to their deaths. The momentum causes them to scratch on the tree until their momentum stopped. They sigh in relief before looking at the tree in shame. They lifted one of their arms, using their legs and their other arm to keep their position, then licked their hand and use Steven’s healing spit to repair the tree. “Sorry tree.” Tiger’s Eye said in its higher voice, then groan, “Don’t apologize. It’s just an earthling.” The fusion sighed in frustration and then jumped to tree to tree, getting a little bit lower each time until they were at the ground and right next to the Dondai. “Welp, that was a bust, but now I know that we can’t fly, and we got remember that my floaty powers are controlled by me being happy or upset. Ugh. Just like all my stupid powers.” Tiger’s Eye said, annoyed at itself. They shocked their head. “Anyway, since we can’t fly, we’ll have to use the Dondai. But…” They looked at the car then at their tail and compared their height to the car. “I’m too big! It was a pain getting a Quartz in there, now I got to find a way to fit myself and my new tail in there without wrecking the car!” They poked at spikes on their tail. It was sharp, so they had to worry about the spikes. “Hmmm. I could shapeshift to be smaller. But I don’t LIKE that! Shapeshifting is just EMBARRASSING! But I HAVE TO! I DON’T WANNA WALK ALL THE WAY TO LITTLE HOMEWORLD OR BEACH CITY! IT WOULD TAKE FOREVER!” They grunted and held their face. They sighed.

“Fine, but once we’re in Beach City, we get out of the car and return to normal size… after finding a good place to park my baby… Man… Steven, you such a wimp.” The fusion said, arguing with itself again. They take in a deep breath and glowed, their body shifting into the size of Steven. Other than their pants being a bit too long, their clothes fit perfectly with Steven’s shirt covering up his gem again. They pull out the car keys and unlock the car. “Alright, now. To get this tail in without hurting the car.” They said. They looked for a good approach, then an idea appeared in their head. They lifted their tail up and lean it against the back of the seat. They get in the car, got buckled, and leaned forward so they wouldn’t lean up against their tail. “Ya know, if you lived closer to Little Homeworld, we could have just used the warp,” Tiger said as they turned on the car. They soon sighed. “Man, this fusion is just… so fun.” They said sarcastically, “Hopefully once we’re in town, we’ll have a better time.” They then drove back into town.

They looked at the picture of Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet Steven had taped onto the top of the hood. They softly chuckled. “So, you care about them so much. Y-yeah. I do. It’s just… hard living with them sometimes. Sometimes… it’s like they still treat me like a kid. I know they don’t want to do it; they just want to have fun with me. It’s just… hard sometimes.” Tiger’s Eye began talking to itself, switching between Steven and Jasper. “Honestly, I don’t know how you can even stand them sometimes. Honestly… I sometimes ask myself that question too. Oh… really?” Tiger looked at the road, making sure they were driving safely. They still had a way to go before they reach Beach City.

“Yeah. Like… I don’t know. It’s just hard having people needing to depend on you for emotional support. And… to tell you the truth, I know they need me to be strong but sometimes, I don’t want to be strong. I just wanna be a kid and have silly adventures. The Crystal Gems don’t know how to handle me or my powers. They’re scared of me losing control. Like, one time, I so afraid of being seen as a kid, I kept aging into different periods of adulthood until I was an old man and almost died from it. The gems brought me back to normal but… it was still a scary time. Then there was the time that I stretched my body to look older, so I won’t look like that small boy you used to see me as to impress everyone. I… I was so tired of being this little kid, especially after I learned that it wasn’t normal for me to keep looking like I used to. But… I couldn’t hold the form and reverted into a baby. Connie helped me recover from that, and once I learned I was growing facial hair, that helped me feel more confident about my body. But it still was a strange time. And then… there was the time I tried to relax and shapeshift into a cat, but I could only change one of my fingers into a cat. At first, it was fine, but then more cats formed on my fingers and I started losing control, and I was becoming an adorable cat monster! And… and Dad had to be the one to help me and the only way to save me was to go through the Car Wash! And then… c-calm down. I’m here. We don’t need to shapeshift. This is only temporary.” Tiger’s Eye said, Steven’s panicking made her tighten her grip on the wheel before loosening it as Jasper’s mind helped calm them down. They take a deep breath. “Y-yeah. Just… just wanted to explain why we couldn’t just shapeshift with wings or something. Hahahaha.” Tiger’s Eye laughed as tears formed in Steven’s eyes, “It’s… it’s okay. I don’t like shapeshifting too. It just feels so unnatural. I can see the practical uses of it for battle, but I will never use it myself, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to need to master it either.” Jasper told Steven. The fusion sighed and nodded. They soon noticed that they had entered Beach City. They quickly find a place to park the car and get out.

Once out, they release their shapeshifted form and sighed in relief. Although keeping a smaller form was much easier than keeping a larger form, they still felt more comfortable being their regular size. They whip the tears out of their eyes. They take a few deep breaths and then stood up. “Okay, we’re here. Now what…” Tiger asked themselves. Suddenly their stomach growled. “What was that?” Tiger asked themselves, before Steven’s personality kicked in, “Oh. I guess all that crying and talking and… stuff must’ve worn us out. I need to eat. Now, if you don’t want to try the food, that’s all right. We can just unfuse and I’ll get something to eat.” However, part of them was intrigued. “Eat. What do you mean by eat? Well, humans don’t have infinite energy, so we chew up items like pizza, fish, and potatoes to eat. It’s actually quite good. Amethyst likes to eat a lot, but gems like you don’t need to do it. We can just unfuse if you want.” Tiger talked to themselves, letting Jasper have an out. Tiger shocked their head. “No. I won’t let a puny little thing like ‘eating’ separate us like that. Besides, I can withstand any weird feeling you put on me. Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Tiger explained. They soon walked over to the Fry Stand. Peedee was working at the place when he noticed them. “Um hello, miss…” Peedee began to say in a polite manner.

“Tiger’s Eye. Um… yeah. I can accept female pronouns. But letting you know; I also use They and Them pronouns as well.” Tiger’s Eye explained. Peedee nodded and looked at the gem. “Neat… Hey, isn’t that Steven’s jacket? Steven is that you?” Peedee asked. Tiger’s Eye laughed in glee. “Yep. It’s me, Peedee! Well, it’s more than me. I’m a fusion with Jasper right now! We’re doing some bonding time!” Steven’s personality shined through as she said that. Peedee smiled. “Wow… wait, wasn’t Jasper that big mean lady you’ve told us about. Um… Sorry about that.” Peedee said, then quickly apologized when he realized he was also talking to said the lady. Tiger’s eye rolled her eyes. “Yeah. But supposedly it’ll be different. However, right now, I’m not so sure about it. Anyway, I’ll have… the bits.” She said as she tried to act cool. Peedee nodded. “One plate of the bits, then.” He said then moved to the back of the area. Tiger looked at the boy. “So, he’s your friend, right? Uh-huh. Why does he work for a place like this? Well, because he likes it. He has his own truck where he sells his own food, but Peedee still tends to work here every now and again. I just hope…” Tiger’s Eye began to say but was interrupted by a loud squeal of excitement that was all TOO familiar. Tiger groaned and facepalmed herself as she looked at the sound. “A snerson! Peedee, you got to see this! It’s a real-life snerson!” Ronaldo said as he pulled out his phone. “Huh?” Peedee said as he brought out a bag full of potato bits.

Ronaldo was standing a few feet away from Tiger. He most likely came from the boardwalk. Tiger’s Eye turned towards the man. “Ronaldo, I’m not a snerson, it’s me, Steven! I just fused with Jasper and some of her corrupted forms have transferred to me… Steven… man being a fusion can be so confusing. Anyway, I’m not corrupted, it’s just a side-effect of us fusing.” Tiger tried to explain. Ronaldo squinted his eyes in suspension. “Sure, you are, Snerson. But how do I know you’re not just some Snerson pretending to be Steven fused with this Jasper.” Ronaldo asked. Tiger growled in anger. “Ugh, I’m wearing Steven’s jacket and clothes! I have his and Jasper’s gems! What more proof do you need!?” Tiger asked in frustration. Ronaldo looked at her and then went around her. “So, if you are Steven and Jasper, how come you have a snake tail and snake horns?” Ronaldo asked before stopping in front of them. Tiger groaned. “The horns were on Jasper’s corrupted form first, our fusion just made them more different. Also, what snakes have horns? As for the tail, it must be from Steven. I don’t know how or why, but something about him makes him into a snerson when he corrupts… n-not that I am corrupted or anything. This… this is just hypothetical.” Tiger said a bit scared at the end.

“I mean, one of the corrupted gems used to be that Big Crab we used to record for your vlog thing, so it’s not too weird that maybe Steven would be a snake if he corrupted. Hey… maybe that’s why there’s a snake on the dollar bill! The founding fathers must’ve known the Diamond Authority would become snakes if they turned into monsters!” Peedee said with confidence. Ronaldo gasped and pulled out a dollar bill. “Of course! It all makes sense! The Diamonds ARE SNEEPLE ALL ALONG! But how did the US government know this in advance? Was the Great Diamond authority in on this?” Ronaldo wondered.

“What, that’s absurd. I’ve been with the Diamonds for over two years and other than making peace with the US government, there have been no signs of the Government knowing about the Diamond Authority or about Sneeple.” Tiger’s eyes said. She pulled out a dollar and gives it to Peedee. She then grabs her food and begins to eat. “Okay, but then how did the Government know about this? Why would they put this obvious connection on their money? Perhaps, the Diamonds have been hiding stuff from you, Steven… and whoever you’re fused with!?” Ronaldo said, causing Tiger to chock on her bits. They quickly cough and release the pressure they accidentally build up. “That’s absurd, Ronaldo! The diamonds… they… they trust me…” Tiger’s eye began to say but felt the fear build up in their mind. Images of Pink Diamond sobbing in her room, yelling at the Diamonds, and breaking items flashed in their mind. They held their head. “They… they’re not the same as back then. They… they trust me…” Tiger’s Eye said as to try and rebuild their confidence. Flashes of Jasper fighting in the war, images of gems talking behind Jaspers’ back, then images of Jasper begging Yellow Diamond to attack earth flashed in their mind. “I’m… I’m not worthless…” They said, then images of ‘classic’ Steven waiting for the gems to come back from their mission and Steven’s imagined conversation from an Indirect Kiss entered their mind. Tears flowed out their eyes as the pain was becoming too much.

“Steven, Jasper, Tiger’s Eye! It’s okay! We’re here! RIGHT, Ronaldo! Please, they need us.” Peedee said, the last part a whisper to the boy’s brother. Ronaldo blinked and then awkwardly laughed. “Y-yeah! Tiger’s Eye! That’s right! Besides, it could all just be the Government who’s lying! Of course, not Nanefua, she’s one of the few that aren’t like that.” Ronaldo said as to try and cheer them up. The fusion sniffled and looked at him. “R-really?” They asked. Ronaldo nodded. “Yeah, the Government is always trying to hide things! Anyways, enough sadness! Let’s think of something to CHEER. YOU. UP!” Ronaldo said as to try and help Steven. Tiger took in a deep breath. They quickly finished up eating and sighed. “Welp… at least I’m no longer hungry.” They said. Ronaldo sighed in relief.

“So… Tiger’s eye. That’s a cool name. What do want to do? Who is… Tiger’s Eye?” Ronaldo asked. Peedee nodded. “Yeah, I mean, you’re a whole new fusion, Steven. Maybe you can show some sick moves!” Peedee said with excitement. Tiger chuckled. “Really?” They asked. The two brothers nodded in excitement. Tiger’s Eye laughed and rushed onto the Beach. “Alright, let’s see what my weapon is!” She said as she pulled out Steven’s Shield and Jasper’s helmet. She looked at both objects. Peedee and Ronaldo sat down at the edge of the pier. “Hmmm, a shield and a helmet… what do these two things have in common or… what can I make with them?” Tiger wondered. The group thought. “Oh! How about a complete battle armor!” Peedee said. Ronaldo scolded, “No, that’s too basic for something like her! Oh! How about a laser gun! Or a broad sword! Or a cannon! OH! A SWORD GUN!” Ronaldo yelled out. People began walking towards them. Tiger’s eye began shaking seeing them. They close their eyes and then a thought appeared. They grab the helmet and chuck it into the air. They throw the shield and the two hit each other and glowed. They fuse into one weapon as a double-headed Axe with a medium-sized handle. “Wow! An ax! That’s clever!” Ronaldo said, impressed. Tiger’s Eye chuckled and quickly put their weapon away as it disappeared into light particles.  “Yeah… although, it is the most weapon like a weapon I’ve had with a fusion. Well, that’s because you think of simple toys. I think of something more practical.” Tiger’s Eye said, then giggled.

The people on the boardwalk looked at the fusion, waved at them, and then continued their way. Tiger sighed in relief. “Man, this fusion is really hard to keep it together… but I know we can do this! Besides, we haven’t even done anything fun yet. All we had were meltdowns and crying! I do NOT want to keep doing this! I want to have FUN! I want to know what makes living on Earth worth it to Steven!” Tiger yelled. They were getting so fed up with having to deal with their two sides constantly fighting with each other or having a meltdown. “Alright, alright, calm down. There are tons of fun things to do, like, um, the arcade, there’s the pier, video games at Steven’s house, the Big Donut, um… Oh! Hey, there’s supposed to be a wrestling match tonight! It’s supposed to be like a multi-match event. Supposedly it’s like survival of the fittest or something, whoever stays in the ring long enough wins the wrestling cup. Doubles or Singles are allowed tonight. That sounds like fun!” Peedee explained. This peaked Tiger’s Eye interest. “Oh yeah, Steven did say that he used to use wrestling. Although, I think we got tired of it because he was being too nice, so Lars didn’t like his character anymore, and Amethyst didn’t want to play wrestling now that she was MATURE now.” She said in a bitter tone. She shocked his head.

“Anyway, we weren’t interested because he tried to explain his ‘backstory’ for the event. It sounded pretty dumb from what little we heard. But what was that about the survival of the fittest?” The fusion asked. Ronaldo stood up as shadow draped over his eyes. “The world of wrestling is a dangerous and evil land where only the strong can survive. I tried my hand at the ring and was punched so hard, I never went back.” Ronaldo stated, exaggerating his story. Tiger’s Eye chuckled. “Oh yeah, that was pretty funny. And… punching… that’s something I can do. That sounds like the perfect thing for us to do. But… I still like the idea of building a character… ugh… my head.” Tiger said, then held their head. This made the two brothers worried. “Hey, are you okay? Maybe you should unfuse, at least until tonight. You two might need a break from each other.” Peedee said. Ronaldo nodded. “Yeah. Plus, all your bad mojo could collide with each other too much if you don’t give each other some time to think for yourselves.” Ronaldo said.

Tiger’s Eye looked away. “I… We’ll think about it. For now, we’re fine. We’re going to go walk the boardwalk for now.” They said. Ronaldo and Peedee looked at each other and then at the fusion. Peedee stood up. “Welp, be careful. See you at the ring tonight. Oh! I almost forgot; the wresting even will be at 8 pm at the abandoned warehouse.” Peedee said, then went back to the shop. Tiger’s eye waved at him. “I got my eye on you, Tiger’s Eye. Don’t go pull any Snerson tricks up your sleeves. I don’t want you to hurt yourself or Society.” Ronaldo said, then walked away. Tiger’s eye nodded and then her stomach growled again. She blushed in embarrassment. “I guess that wasn’t enough to satisfy our hunger. What time is it?” They wondered as they pulled out Steven’s phone. They activated it and put in the numbers, but it was much harder thanks to their pretty meaty fingers. “Ugh. Why do these tiny earthling communication devices have to be so small?” They wondered in annoyance. They soon looked at the device and saw it was around 1:30. “Wow, time sure flew. It’s already past lunchtime. No wonder we’re hungry. Why don’t we get a salad and something to drink? Maybe we’ll like that more than just eating some bits. …Whatever.” Tiger said to herself. She put the phone back in their coat pocket and walked over to Fish Stew Pizza.

(To be continued.)

[fanficimagery]

The Lost Magician

#289 "Oh, fuck off."

Summary: When Darcy, Pepper and Natasha are overpowered, and Natasha's badly injured while Pepper's been knocked unconscious, Darcy must call upon an old friend and expose a part of herself that she's tried to put behind her.

Shit. Shit. Double shit.

Darcy anxiously paces the stone cell that she, Pepper and Natasha have just been tossed in, she regretting ever staying in touch with superheroes after Jane had unofficially let her go when Thor whisked her away to Asgard. She had planned to learn how to stand on her own two feet, and she had for a while, but then Clint came back into her life one night while drinking at a bar and then soon followed Natasha, Steve, Pepper and Tony.

Natasha had been rather intimidating at first, so Pepper made it her mission to get the two females comfortable with each other. It worked, and Darcy and Nat had soon become better friends than either of them had anticipated.

So with Avengers back in her life, it was only a matter of time before their enemies found the one weakness they all had in common. Darcy herself.

Normally, Natasha could take care of herself and another individual. And since Darcy had been taking self-defense lessons from her friends, she could briefly hold her own in a fight. But swarm after swarm of thugs in tactical gear ambushed the three ladies while enjoying a relaxing week at the Banyan Tree Samui in Thailand, and not only did Natasha try protecting herself but she also tried to protect Darcy and Pepper simultaneously. For her troubles Natasha took a bullet to the knee and another to the shoulder, Pepper was knocked unconscious as she tried calling in back-up, and Darcy got smacked around a bit after taking down two thugs with her trusty taser.

"Save your energy," Natasha says quietly, holding Darcy's torn plaid button-up to the wound on her shoulder. "You and Pepper are going to have to help me if we want to get out of here alive."

Darcy scoffs. "Nat, we're in the middle of nowhere. That little window up there," she says, pointing to a bar covered window that could barely fit a toddler, "shows nothing but jungle. And I swear I heard some large cat on the prowl outside."

"We couldn't have gone far," Natasha tiredly muses. "I wasn't out for long and you said they drove us by vehicle, so we're still in Thailand."

"No shit." Natasha blandly stares at Darcy, the brunette then cringing at her words. "I'm sorry. I just- I don't like cells and I want out."

"Get it together, Lewis. You're no good to us if you have a panic attack."

"Oh, fuck off." She can feel her chest tightening and if she was uncomfortable before, she’s 10X more uncomfortable now. But then Pepper groans as she groggily comes to and Darcy has something else to focus on. "Hey. Hey, take it slow," she says as Pepper tries to sit up.

"T-Tony?"

"Darcy," she regrettably admits. "We couldn't get a SOS out before they brought us in. They also stripped of us everything but our clothes, so our panic buttons were taken, too."

Pepper whimpers. "Where are we?"

"We're not sure." After Darcy helps Pepper get situated so she's sitting up against the wall, she then stands and heads over to check on Natasha and make sure the makeshift bandage around her knee is not loosening. "But I think- God, I'm so sorry- I think I can get us out of here."

Natasha's bloody hand falls atop of Darcy's trembling ones as they tighten the bandage, she frowning. "Unless you've got some hidden abilities that we don't know about, it's best we sit tight and gather our strength to fight it out later." She smiles to try and lighten the mood, but at Darcy's crestfallen expression her brow pulls together in confusion. "Darcy, you don't actually have abilities, do you? I've read your file front to-"

"It's- it's new," she stammers and then stands to put some space between her and Natasha. "I only did about a year and a half of schooling before it all became too much. It's- it was a lot like Harry Potter, actually, only it was college for the magical adept. There were no wands, it was a lot more terrifying, and not at all whimsical and fun like the fantasy books make you believe."

"Darcy," Pepper says sadly. "Why didn't you-"

"Tell anyone?" She guesses, scoffing. "I didn't want to be on SHIELD's radar. I didn't want Clint acting weird around me and I didn't- I'm not cut out for this stuff! If people found out- if Steve found out- he'd push for me to train and join the superhero club, but I can't. I can't, Pepper," she sniffles.

Though her expression is carefully put together, Darcy can tell Natasha doesn't exactly know how to handle this news. Ever since Loki, any talk of magic put a lot of people on edge. "When did you start?" She asks.

"A-As soon as I got back into the States," she mumbles. "After Jane, I thought I could go back to school. And I did, only it wasn't normal school like I thought it'd be." The two women don't exactly know what to say to her admission and Darcy suddenly thinks that this was a mistake. But now that the cat's out of the bag, there's no shoving it back in.

"Darce, can you get us out of here?" Natasha asks, gulping as she straightens up. Pepper suddenly looks a bit hopeful and Darcy feels terrible about letting them down.

"I can't. I couldn't even finish magic school," she sighs dejectedly. Natasha sighs as well and Pepper slumps in defeat. "But.. I think I know someone who can." Darcy rushes to the other side of their cell, she sitting with her back to the wall and crosses her legs as if she were about to meditate. "You just- you have to trust me. Trust us. We're not bad people, I swear."

"Darcy," Pepper softly speaks. "We adore you. I can't speak for Natasha, but I trust your judgement."

Darcy looks to Natasha. "I wish you would have told me," she says. "But I understand why you kept your secret under wraps." Natasha then grimaces as she shifts her position on the ground again. "So if you didn't finish school, how does your lack of magic help us?"

Darcy takes a couple of deep breaths and closes her eyes. "The other Magicians that were assigned to my Discipline specific house, a house for those who are focused on one particular brand of magic, were like stoners. Entertaining for sure, but just not my cup of tea. Not anymore, at least. But then Penny came around, a Psychic and Traveler, and we were.. good friends."

Natasha faintly smirks. "Which is code for fuck buddies. You slept with her."

"I slept with him," Darcy admits. "It was fun, but that's all. His heart belonged to someone else and I- I just needed someone to ground me at Brakebill's. Penny and his friends did that for a while."

"Okay, so how can this Penny guy help us?" Pepper wonders.

"Like I said, he's a Psychic and Traveler. Travelers can travel anywhere in just the blink of an eye, so if I mentally or verbally call out to him he might be able to hear me and come find us. Maybe. I'm not sure how his magic actually works."

Neither Pepper or Natasha say another word, so Darcy settles in to calm her racing heart and mind. Taking a few more deep breathes, she mentally calls out, [Penny, I really hope you can hear me right now because I'm in deep shit and I need your help. It's Darcy, by the way. Penny. Penny! Please, hear me. I'm afraid they're going to kill us very soon. Please find me.]

Blinking open her eyes, she's met with one hopeful expression and one bland. "So what now?" Natasha asks.

"I dunno." Darcy takes a gulp before casting her gaze around the room and in a last ditch effort, she says aloud, "Penny! Penny, help me. They're going to kill us if you don't find me. Please, Pen. Please," she pleads.

"Darcy," Pepper smiles sadly, shaking her head. "It's okay. Calm down."

Darcy blinks at her, suddenly aware that she's crying. She quickly wipes the tears from her face, sniffling and then coming up with another idea. "What's the most annoying song you two know?"

Pepper takes a moment to think on it, but Natasha already has a song in mind. "Barbie Girl. I played it on loop for Stark after he pissed me off one day and he cracked after the third loop."

Despite their predicament, Pepper snorts a laugh and Darcy grins. "Weakling." Then settling in, Darcy starts humming the rather catchy tune to will the lyrics to pop up in her mind. [I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation.] "Come on, Pen. Come find me. Follow the annoying song. Just.. hear me, goddammit." [I'm a blond bimbo girl, in a fantasy world. Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly. You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink. Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky].

"This was a bad idea," Natasha grumbles.

For hours Darcy hums the song, ignoring the pitying looks as she curls up in a corner and eventually dozes off.

Darcy's strapped down to a table, her head the only part of her body that she's able to move. To her left lays Natasha and to her right is Pepper, but something's.. something's wrong. Pepper's whimpering and struggling against her own bindings, but Natasha.. Natasha's eerily quiet and staring rather lifeless up at the stone ceiling.

"N-Nat?" She mumbles. "Nat!"

"She's dead. She's dead," Pepper cries. "She was too much of a threat. She was the only one who could fight back and that they were afraid of."

Tears well up in Darcy's already puffy eyes, they falling a moment later. She struggles even harder against her bindings, screaming her throat raw. She doesn't want to die. She can't! She still has so much to accomplish in life and if she dies now-

"D? What the hell kind of dream is this?"

"I don't wanna die, Pep. I don't wanna die. There's still so much-"

"Darcy. Look at me." Hands cradle her face, tilting her face to stare up at a familiar brown face, concern etched in his expression. It's Penny. "You're dreaming, D. You need to wake up."

She's tired. Oh so tired. Weakly shaking her head, she says, "This isn't a dream. This is going to be my reality soon enough."

His brow furrows. "What are you talking about?"

"This room isn't that different from where I currently am. I think," she frowns and pulls on her bindings. "Tables are new though."

"Focus, Darcy. Where are you? I can find you, you know I can. I just need-"

"T-Thailand. We're in Thailand." The door to the room opens and several men enter the room, rolling along a cart that holds some terrifying pieces of machinery. Darcy whimpers as she realizes what they're carting along, and not even Penny trying to grab her attention works.

"It's not real. It's not real, Darcy. Your dream, your control. Just will it away."

But the men keep coming closer until they're settled by the end of the table by her head. They shove a rubber mouth piece in her mouth, and at Darcy's muffled screaming Penny starts to rush at the men. But since it's a dream, he merely passes right through them.

"Darcy! It's. Not. Real!" Some type of oil is massaged on her temples and then the cold metal of round shock paddles are pressed there. Over her screaming and muffled pleading, she can hear the swearing of her friend. "It's not fucking real, D! Think of something else. Come on, Darce. Anything else."

But her mind is stuck on her current situation and a moment after the ominous click of a dial, Darcy arches up in pain as electricity courses through her brain.

Darcy screams awake, drenched in ice cold water. Her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath, the door to their cell slams shut, and Darcy realizes a moment later that she had fallen asleep. "What- what-"

"You were screaming," Pepper tells her. "We couldn't wake you up and the guards didn't like the screaming. They brought us food, though."

"First rule of being kidnapped," Natasha mumbles. "Don't eat the food. It's most likely laced with sedatives."

Darcy looks at her, frowning that her friend is on the verge of needing some medical attention as soon as possible. "Hang on," she tells her. "I think- I had a visit from Penny. He'll be looking now. I'll just have to mentally call out to him every now and again."

Natasha sighs. "That's good. Our captives don't appear to be in any hurry. No one knows we're missing yet and the morons are talking about ransoming us. They're not super villains, they're just money hungry assholes who got lucky."

Darcy scoffs. "Typical." Her stomach grumbles and she casts the food and water a yearning look, but Natasha upends the water and tray with a grunt. "You suck, Tash."

"You'll thank me when you actually have the energy to fight back should someone try anything with you."

The women all go quiet, Natasha because her energy levels are already low and Pepper because being kidnapped is exhausting. As she gives them a reprieve of quiet, Darcy bends her knees and hugs them to her chest. Then laying her head atop her knees, she starts mentally singing 'Barbie Girl' again.

     - X - X - X - 

"Jesus fuckin' Christ, Penny!" Darcy suddenly yells, staring up at the ceiling. "Can you just find us already?!"

Natasha’s head lolls to the side and Pepper snorts awake. Aggravated at getting nowhere, Darcy pushes herself up to her feet and angrily paces the room while mumbling beneath her breath.

After giving her a moment to vent her frustrations, Pepper says to her, "Maybe you should get your mind off of everything going on. Why don't you show us some magic?"

Her irritated glare lands on Pepper before softening, she throwing out one last mental threat/plead to Penny before sliding down against the wall opposite Pepper and Nat. Taking a deep breath because her friends don't deserve any of her attitude, Darcy lightly shakes out her arms. Hands in her lap, she then says, "I'm not sure what to show you. I didn't finish my schooling."

"Show us what you can." Natasha then mumbles.

Darcy feebly nods, and then concentrating briefly she brings her hands together, palm to palm an inch apart. "Funny little thing they don't tell you," she says, hands and fingers already moving in an intricate dance. "Magic doesn't come from talent. It comes from pain." Then as she slowly pulls her hands further apart, a dark blue energy crackles before a small dark storm cloud manifests between her hands. "My discipline was natural magic. I can manipulate natural elements."

"It's beautiful," Pepper breathes as the rolling clouds fade away.

     - X - X - X - 

Darcy spends the next couple of hours making it rain outside, holding onto her anger and pain to fuel her concentration on spell casting. Pepper holds the cup between the bars, filling the cup up enough to rinse out any lingering traces of drugs and then refilling it with clean water to drink.

It's when the sun's setting yet again that something new happens, shouting and gunfire making the three women perk up. When it goes momentarily quiet, two voices can be heard arguing. One seems rather agitated and running on adrenaline, and the other- feminine- blandly, yet amusingly talks about not having seen this much excitement in a while.

"Margo?" Darcy mumbles quietly. But Pepper and Natasha hear her, and as the voices continue talking, she's even more sure she knows those voices. "PENNY! MARGO! We're in here!"

The voices cease and then..

"Darcy?"

"Yes! We're in here," she yells, running up to the metal door and pounding on it with her fists. "We're in here!"

"Hold tight, D. We're going to get you out." Margo had always been Darcy's favorite, after Penny of course, what with her blunt and sassy attitude.

Several runic designs start to glow on the door and Darcy quickly jumps aside. The hinges on the door explode and the door is knocked down just before two figures rush in. Penny and Margo.

In the next second Darcy finds herself wrapped in a pair of strong, brown arms, her face pressed into the neck of her ex-lover. "Jesus Christ, D. Never fucking again, you hear me? This is not how I imagined our little reunion going."

Darcy snorts and when she has a moment to pull back she finds Margo slowly pacing the room with a wrinkled nose. "Ew," her friend mutters, fluffing her hair as if preparing to get down to work. "This place is not fit for a Queen. Couldn't they have at least given you a bed?"

Darcy huffs a laugh. "Margo," she says, shaking her head. "Rescue now, bitch later. I'm sure our kidnappers heard your little explosion. They'll be coming."

"On the contrary, my friend," Margo grins. "Penny and I warded up both ends of the hallway after taking care of a few.. pests. No one's getting in until we pop out of here." Margo continues to pace the small cell, dragging a finger along the walls. "Seriously, these people have no imagination. You'd think that with a Queen in their midst they'd have asked for so much more than what we overheard them asking for."

"Q-Queen?" Pepper stammers.

Darcy groans and hides her face in Penny's chest. "Not now, Pep. Later, I promise."

"Now sounds like a perfectly good time," Natasha says, grimacing as she tries to stand. She does, but her weight is on one leg only and her palm is pressing to the wound on her shoulder. "Apparently no one's getting in, so what else haven't you told us?"

Darcy feels Penny tense against her, his chin resting atop her head, content on not letting her go. And huh. That's a new development. She could have sworn Penny was all about Kady. He was never the cuddly type with her. "An Avenger, Lewis? Seriously? You really know how to pick your friends, don't you?"

"If it makes you feel any better," she mumbles, "I knew about half of the Avengers before I attended Brakebills."

"Oh, gross," Margo suddenly groans. "That's a lot of blood."

"You think?" Natasha deadpans.

Margo looks offended for exactly two seconds before she's smirking at Natasha. "Oh, I like you. Darcy should have introduced us sooner." Darcy turns her head to look at her other magically adept friend, she finally leaving the safety of Penny to help Natasha stand. "I brought some healing potions for Darcy since Penny was freaking out after he transported into her dream, but you seem like you need them more."

Margo holds a few vials out to Natasha, but the redhead merely stares at them. It takes Darcy grabbing them and uncorking a couple, she then holding them out for Natasha to take when she's ready. "I trust them," she tells Nat. "If I needed these more than you, I'd swallow them in a heartbeat. But seeing as you can barely stand and look paler than normal, you need to take them."

Natasha reluctantly takes the vials, drinking the potions while staring blandly at the two newcomers. The potions kick in, in less than a minute, Natasha then standing straighter with a healthy flush to her cheeks. She nods tersely to Margo in thanks and then stumbles over to Pepper to check her over herself.

"So if we're all ready now, can we go?" Darcy asks. "I really need a shower, food and like.. a bed so I can sleep for a couple days straight."

"Yeah," Penny says. "Lets get out of here." Margo immediately takes up his right hand and Darcy takes up his left. Then looking to Natasha and Pepper, he says, "Just clasp hands and interlock your fingers with each other. Then take up Margo and Darcy's hands to close the circle. I'll transport us to a place I'm familiar with and then you can tell me where to go from there."

Darcy takes Pepper hand with a smile, but the blonde's knowing smirk unsettles her. "Queen Darcy, huh? I can't wait to hear all about this."

"You would," she sighs. "Don't get too excited. Being one of the Queen's of Fillory isn't as grand as it sounds."

Penny snorts. "You got that right." And then within the blink of an eye, the group is whisked away to safety.

[madrut16]

Day 10: Love Always Wins

A/N: I’ve had this one in the works for a while, it was the fic that I first started when I wanted to expand on MC’s Bloodkeeper powers and it’s where a lot of the ideas blossomed. I debated on whether or not to do a part 1 to this and have this be a little later in the month but, I think that it works best on its own and it fits really well with this prompt so, I’m posting it now! It will also give me more time to start a possible new ACOR AU series (only possible because I like to bite off more than I can chew and promise things I end up not doing) that has been floating in my brain for some time now. 

I also want to start writing for a side Bloodbound pairing I have (Kamilah and Lily *cough cough*) so let me know if you’d be into that or if I’m the only one who thinks they have really good potential chemistry. 

Bottom line, hopefully, you enjoy this idealized, not canon version of how Isabel defeats Gaius and turns the damsel in distress narrative on its head. 

Book/pairing: Bloodbound (Adrian x MC)

Rating: PG-13 (some violence)

Summary: After Gaius has taken Adrian prisoner, both physically and mentally, and injured their friends, it’s up to Isabel to rescue Adrian and end things once and for all.

@kinda-iconic @choicesjulychallenge @endlesshero1122 @jlpplays1 @desiree-0816 @choicesfannatalie @krishu213 @choices97 @riseandshinelittleblossom @brightpinkpeppercorn @ladykateofhousebeaumont @tabithacarlisle @ella-raines

"Adrian!" Isabel's scream was earth-shattering, making the decaying temple walls vibrate.

The man in question didn't respond to her pleas, or even those of Kamilah seriously injured on the floor behind them. And yet, his beautiful features continued to twist in anguish as he fought with every ounce of strength to restrain himself, the ultimate struggle between good and evil. 

This was the last thing he wanted in the entire world.

But the force that compelled him was too strong, his mind held hostage as he slowly inched towards her. The sharp dagger he held glinted in the dimly lit room. Behind him, the man pulling the strings grinned, clearly amused by the struggle.

"There's no use in trying Isabel," Gaius proclaimed. "You can't fight who you truly are inside. I knew all along he would come back to me, embrace his dark side. Throw away his weakness for the frail mortals like you, our unequals. This is who Adrian is, bloodthirsty, cold-hearted. A killer at heart."

She shut her eyes tightly, knowing deep down that his words are all lies. She had memories to prove it and after the endless amounts of training, she could now easily call up the ones she wants.

"Ab uno disce omnes," she whispered, her voice so quiet that no one else could make out what she was saying. 

All at once, the memories came to her at once. First, she saw Adrian Turning Lily, even though it put him in incredible danger and she noticed something she didn’t catch in the moment: the self-sacrificing desire in his eyes. It wasn't just for her despite what he told her afterward, he had wanted to save Lily on his own ever since he had rushed inside the apartment. All Isabel had done was give him the permission he needed to disregard the rules in his way. 

This faded into the next scene and she once again saw the confederate soldiers who he didn't want to kill, despite all that they stood for. The fact that they were human was enough for him. Finally, she recalled the first memory she had seen, back at the cabin 238 years ago. How he was so ready to suffer, to join his family in painful death than take another life.

All of this confirmed what she already knew in her heart, the belief impossibly rooted now. Her eyes snapped back open and she gave the monster a heated glare. She shook her head, uttering the word she said to fully enter this mysterious and complicated world.

“No.”

Gaius's scoff was deafening, his intimidating gaze drilling into her. "You humans are so naïve. I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you then,” he threatened.

"You’ll prove nothing," she retorted, raising her chin high in defiance. “I know the truth.”

Isabel turned her attention away from him, back to his former soldier, and her gaze immediately softened to one of anguish. Then, she made a quick decision. Her most impulsive one of all.

She ran toward him, much to the horror of her friends scattered like ragdolls behind her.

"Isabel? What are you doing?" Jax demanded, before hissing in pain as the deep gash on his side continued to slowly heal.

She ignored them, stopping just shy of the dagger’s blade pointed directly at her. All of her attention, her energy was on Adrian. She wanted to touch him, to hold him tightly, but even in her emotional state, a shred of rationality remained. She knew that she couldn't just yet. She could only reach out with her words. Luckily, the art of rhetoric had been a strength of hers for a while now, especially when she became passionate about whatever cause she decided to fight for.

"Adrian, listen to me,” she begged. “You can fight this! I know this isn’t you, that you don't want to hurt me!"

With a chuckle, Gaius held his hand out, causing Adrian to stiffen despite his best efforts and a look of calculating coldness to appear. "Are you so sure of that...poppet?"

Just as he forced Adrian to lunge at her, she grabbed the blade, disregarding the shooting pain in her hand. This caused Gaius to lose his concentration just enough to get Adrian to hesitate, once again frozen like a living statue. 

"No! How did you—?” the Second son growled in astonishment.

The heightened powers had gone to his head a while ago, the narcissism more extreme than ever.

On the ground, Kamilah responded, her voice strained by her body’s intense effort to repair itself. "You underestimated her."

Isabel smiled briefly, grateful for the confidence of the person who once had a much different view of her. She only hoped that she was as capable as the senior vampire believed.

"You're wrong about him Gaius." Her stare burned into the vampire king's, unwavering. "Yes, he's made mistakes in the past, caused pain and bloodshed. I've seen that with my own eyes. But I also know that he did it because you taught him to. That you manipulated him, made him think that he didn't have another option. But, guess what? When he had the freedom to decide what he wanted, we all know what he chose!"

She paused to catch her breath, and she looked at Adrian who was still eyeing her, possessed with evil. But, there was one difference. He was listening to her. And so, she pressed on knowing that eventually, she would breakthrough.

"He chose to create a different, better option,” she continued, her words laced with raw emotion. “To use his power to help people, not harm them. He was brave enough to change the status quo when he knew it was wrong. And ever since he's been using his mistakes and regret to create a better world. Because unlike you, he’s refused to use his pain as an excuse to hate innocent people. That’s why he’s a good person!"

His expression remained unchanged and her heart started to break, as she knew that she would soon run out of time. 

"Isabel," Kamilah pleaded, her tone wavering in sorrow for her adopted brother. "It's okay, you've done all you can. Get away while you're still able to!"

She shook her head, her stubborn determination at its height. "I can’t! He needs me. I'd rather die than give up fighting."

She had done this before, let her heart fly too close to the sun like Icarus. The last time, it almost killed her, she was lucky to be caught mid freefall. But this time, this time would be different. She knew the look in someone's eyes who actually wanted to hurt her. It was in Derek's all those nights ago. And now it was all over Gaius's smoldering red stare.

But not in Adrian's.

Despite the hardened exterior, she saw in his brown irises the complete opposite. That's what made her cling on for dear life to the small shred of strength she had left.

"Isabel, look out!" she heard Lily cry and she noticed Gaius clenching his fist just in time.

As he compelled Adrian forward, she readied herself and used her natural power to once again grab onto the blade, holding it inches away from her. She knew how to use the fright she felt instead of letting it consume her. This time, she was gonna fight until her last breath. As she pushed back, she started to lose hope and desperation set in. 

"Snap out of it, I'm begging you!" she cried, tears welling in her eyes.  "Because I love you and I can't lose you to him! So please, just come back to me!"

Almost as soon as the words left her lips, he stopped in his tracks, allowing the dagger to clatter to the ground, much to Gaius's horror.

"Impossible," he exclaimed furiously as her palms dripped blood onto the stone floor. 

"Do you really—?” Adrian questioned before the horrible pain of recognition came over him about what almost transpired. “Oh God, I could’ve…”

She stared at him in shock before she gasped in relief. "Adrian! Thank god!"

As she moved towards him, the reunion was cut painfully short as Gaius unleashed his fury and Adrian found himself on his knees, writhing in pain. "That is what traitors like you deserve!"

"No!" Isabel screamed as she watched him suffer helplessly.

Gaius turned his attention to The Bloodkeeper in front of him. At first, he had found her stubbornness amusing, but now it was nothing but a thorn in his side. 

"Now Isabel, I was going to spare you after all your precious friends died. But now...now I think I'll have to do away with you first...and let them watch."

"No...not Isabel!" Adrian let out a strangled plea.

"Hush you pathetic weakling!"

Gaius gave him another sharp flick of his wrist, turning his progeny’s blood into a living furnace and sending him to the hard floor. He did this all while keeping his menacing stare on his main target. "Now, try to stop me, mortal," he told her, an overly confident look in his eyes.

Isabel should have been terrified. If four vampires, including Kamilah who was the best of the best, couldn't stand a chance against him, how could she? But, she wasn’t, because she was his one undoing. It was in her DNA, her genes, her long and convoluted family history. It would be up to her, just like it was up to her line since the very beginning.

A strange exhilaration coursed through her knowing that the moment she had been training for was here. Yes, there was fear in the mix as well, she wasn’t quite fully proficient, but she knew enough to be a sizeable opponent. She had already demonstrated that when assisting Kamilah in dispatching Priya to gain access to the temple. She looked back at Jax, who had helped her with everything. He gave her an encouraging nod and that was the last push she needed.

Isabel scrutinized her enemy, his hungry eyes the only testament to the restraint being held. He obviously wanted her to make the first move. But, she wasn’t inclined to give him what he wanted. Especially that.

Instead, she crossed her arms, not taking her eyes off of his for one second. "I don't think you really want to fight me."

"Why not? You're nothing sweetheart. I'll be able to kill you easily."

She couldn’t stop the smirk from appearing on her face. "Then why haven't you? Why are you hesitating? It could be your love of drawing things out. Making your victims suffer until you bleed them dry. Just like you did to Adrian and Kamilah, to their families. But, I don't think that's it this time. I think...I think you're scared. Because you know that you’re just as human as I am. Something you’ve come to resent.”

"Me, afraid of you? Why that is preposterous," he laughed tilting his devilishly handsome face at her.

But, her eyesight was impeccable, and she noticed the slight quivering of his lips. The slight shaking of his hand.

"Is it?" she quipped. "Then I guess...you won't mind if I recite a little Latin for you then."

Behind her, she heard Adrian's confused murmur. He was the only one who didn't know about her abilities. Kamilah and Lily found out first hand in the earlier fight with Priya. But he was still in here, being held captive.

Gaius's eyes widened in alarm.

"No...it cannot be…you...can't know the truth!"

"What’s the matter Gaius? If you're so powerful, why are you so terrified of a frail little Bloodkeeper? Maybe because I’ve found out what you’ve tried to keep hidden. The truth about us, what we were born to do. I think they call it…destiny? But, why should you care if you’re unstoppable? If that’s so, then come and prove it."

Her goading had its desired effect, and, in a flash, he stood and dove towards her. But, he wasn’t fast enough. 

"Ab origine, ab antiquo, ab aeterno!” From the original, from the ancient, from the eternal.

She shouted the enchantment just in time.

Instantly she began to glow, golden lines forming on her skin, flickering, churning with untapped potential. The energy, it consumed her and the room around her. 

With a smile, she reached out to the discarded dagger a few feet from her. Concentrating on it, it soon rose from the ground and flew into her now cut free palm.

Gaius paused momentarily, not believing his eyes. "No…NO!"

He soon became livid and with a roar, he resumed his charge, but Isabel was quick to meet it. 

Instead of backing up, she ran towards him at lightning speed.

Leaping over him, she dodged his attack and landed safely on the ground several feet away from him only slightly winded. 

She smiled triumphantly now radiating adrenaline and confidence. "You're going to have to do better than that.” 

Everyone on the floor looked at her in pure astonishment. 

Then, her weapon clashed with his as the two began to spar. 

They met each other stroke for stroke and blow for blow to the amazement of their audience around them as Isabel remembered the techniques Jax had taught her. When to press and when to dodge. To use the strengths of her body and the weaknesses of his to her advantage. 

Then, Gaius managed to knock the sword from her hands and tried to tackle her to the ground. 

However, he only managed to get her on her knees before she recovered, using her increased strength to resist further. 

She knew she wouldn’t be able to hold him back forever, but her fast mind promptly calculated her next move. There were two powers she hadn’t used outside training yet—the most important ones. She just needed to be able to give herself enough time to do it. 

He started to gain traction and she heard the frantic exclamations of her friends behind her. She closed her eyes, letting them give her strength. She wouldn't let them down. 

Gritting her teeth, she bared down resisting the mental pull Gaius was giving her, trying to cloud her head. 

Finally, she was able to push him off of her enough to crawl out underneath. 

As she got to her feet, she didn't wait for a response, positioning her hands at her sides. "Lux ex tenebris!"

Instantly, streaks of lightning started to erupt from her palms, causing a bright light to fill the darkened temple. She gaped at her hands, this being the first time it had worked at the first try. 

Gaius charged at her and she shot a bolt at him, and he slowed, the hot electricity charring his body. "Aghhhhhh!"

As he kept attacking, she used a mix of combat techniques and electricity attacks to hold him back.

But, she knew he wouldn’t give up, that's not what someone like him did, who saw himself as invincible. 

He switched from a physical fight to a mental one. "Is that seriously all you have?" he taunted, his voice strained from the zaps of electricity. "You're just like them. Too fragile, too emotional to kill me."

This infuriated Isabel more than ever. She shut her eyes tightly as another series of images ran through her. Only these memories were all hers. Every time she was called too emotional, too stubborn, not good enough. So much that at one time she believed them. But now, she knew exactly how wrong they were, how strong she was, with or without her abilities. 

Opening her eyes, she put her hands together and the electricity grew to form a glowing ball of plasma. She would show him that having emotions, choosing to love was so much more powerful than hate. 

Taking a step back, she wound up and hurled the ball at him as hard as she could, and it plowed into him in seconds and it sent him to the ground hard, the heated energy immobilizing him in a fit of painful seizures.

"No... you can't...stop me," he hissed. 

As he tried to sit up she was there in seconds, pinning him to the stone. "Don't speak," she ordered, holding him down now that she was draining him of his strength. 

He gave her a sickening grin, still trying to weasel his way into her mind. "You're not going to...back out, are you? Just like your...sensitive little...Adrian did? As much as I... tried to get him to see...his true potential...his glory I never...managed to get...the lowly, submissive human out of him. He—”"I said stop talking." 

She snapped, cutting him off by pressing a charged hand against him. 

"He's not the weak one, you are! And yes, usually I believe in mercy. In being the bigger person. But for those like you and your accolades—Jameson, Vega, Priya—who do nothing but manipulate, and hurt, and abuse...there's nothing I want more." 

As she went into her suit pocket, Gaius geared up for one more attack. 

He grabbed the side of her neck with his one free hand and squeezed tightly, and she gasped loosening her hold on him. This allowed him to flip on top of her once more. 

But, even black spots started to tinge her vision and her lungs burned from lack of oxygen, she was prepared.

As the pain laced through her, she pulled out the gleaming wooden stake, it's bark illustrious and white. The streaks of energy in her hand immediately ran through it. Then, she noticed that his last-ditch effort had left his chest completely exposed. 

Checkmate.

"You...forgot...one thing," she growled, wincing from his fingers pressed tightly against her throat. 

"What's that?"

The stake’s glowed, illuminating her stoic expression.

"Not even Rheya was invincible."

Isabel's voice was commanding as she used both hands to shove the weapon deep into his heart causing a ripple of black and red smoke to cascade and a crack of thunder to sound/.

The force caused a massive bolt of electricity to run through him. She watched as his eyes briefly widened and he howled in pain. He sizzled then crumbled into smoking ash on top of her, covering her in the greyish white substance.

Isabel remained frozen for a moment, her body shaking from the weight of what she had just done. Then, reality started to sink in. "He...he's gone," she stammered in disbelief. "It’s really over."

Swallowing, she looked down at the still crackling oak in her hand and she set it down remembering that she had to turn off her dormant powers.

"Ab origine, ab antiquo, ab aeterno."

This time, the light dissipated, and the energy retracted from her hands, leaving behind red burn marks. They would heal eventually, she needed the other set of words without the chant on. The temple darkened once more, the only light coming from the moon's peeking through. She stood and turned to face everyone behind her who were all in various states of shock and awe.

Her gaze immediately found Adrian’s and she blinked back tears as the thought of almost losing him overwhelmed her. She rushed to his side in seconds and as soon as he worked himself into a sitting position, she was in his arms.

“Isabel.” His labored breathing was a musical sound to her ears.

She pressed him to her tightly. “Thank god you’re okay,” she exclaimed.

“He almost got to me,” he muttered and when she pulled back enough to see his face, it was full of guilt. “I almost hurt you. I’m so sorry. If I had actually done something…I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.”

She shushed him with a kiss. “Hey, you don’t have to apologize, you had no choice. He was literally controlling you, Adrian. I knew that I would get through eventually, that you would come back. I just wasn’t sure if I’d have enough time.”

He reached up to brush a stray lock of hair that had fallen out of place and his hand lingered on the side of her chin and she saw a certain urgency on his face. 

“What you said, say it again,” he demanded. “So, I know that you really meant it.” 

She didn’t need to ask which words which he meant, she already knew.

Countless times she had planned elaborate scenarios for when she would actually say them, and they wouldn’t be just thoughts in her brain. For them to slip out in the heat of the moment was not one of them. 

But, they had come out easier than she ever thought they would. 

Peering into his eyes now, all of the fears that he wouldn’t feel the same and the challenges were too great dissipated. Because that same uncertainty was staring right back at her. And all of a sudden, she realized that this was perfect because of how natural it was.

Biting her lip, Isabel repeated her earlier declaration. “I love you, and that means all of you. Even the dark and broken parts. Everything.”

The look he gave her was of raw, unfiltered emotion. “Isabel…I love you too. I didn’t think that I could feel this way about someone again. But you walked in and ended up proving me wrong.”

And that’s when she knew that everything would be worth it, that somehow, they would defy the odds and find a way to be together for eternity, whether it was on her timeline or his.

She was brought out of their moment when he suddenly let out a groan and she remembered that he and their friends were still injured. Their natural healing would take some time from lack of energy and severity of the damage inflicted. But, with her help, it would be just like new. Isabel gasped and slowly untangled herself from him.

Her work as a Bloodkeeper wasn’t over yet work. “Sorry, there’s still one more thing I need to do. For everyone,” she said elusively.

As much as she wanted to help Adrian first, he wasn’t the person she needed to heal most. That was the person who Gaius made sure to hurt most of all. His former queen.

Following her gaze, Adrian gave her a tired smile. “Go. Whatever it is, I can wait for it.”

With a nod, she quickly ran to Kamilah’s side, who was trying to remain calm against the pain she clearly felt.

"Let me help with that," Isabel murmured crouching down beside the CEO.  When she moved her hand over her abdomen, the vampire pulled away slightly before she could make contact, stiffening.

"Isabel, what are you—?”

With all of the abuse Gaius had given her, which was now coming back to the surface, the Bloodkeeper wasn’t slighted or panicked.

She responded with a gentle smile. “I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. It’s just another power of mine. Do you trust me?”

Kamilah hesitated, her shimmering brown eyes full of apprehension. Then, after a minute, she relaxed and nodded wearily. “I do.”

Isabel delicately grasped the bottom of the white dress shirt. “I need to lift this up, is that okay?” She received a confused nod.

She pushed the fabric up to reveal bare skin and the deep wounds struggling to close themselves up. Getting her hand ready, she continued to talk through the procedure to give Kamilah time to adjust to each step. 

“I’m going to have to touch it with my hand in order for this to work, I’ll be as gentle as possible.”

The other woman simply looked at her curiously as she slowly lowered her two hands onto the gash, she felt her breathe in sharply on instinct before easing once more.

Isabel closed her eyes, willing herself to remember what her grandmother had taught her a few weeks earlier. 

She pressed down softly putting some weight into her palms and recited the phrase needed. “Sana lucem vitae.”

Instantly she felt a tingling warmth spread down from her chest all the way to her fingertips. That’s when she knew that she had said it right. She counted the necessary fifteen seconds she needed to maintain contact before she opened her eyes.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips when she saw the soft pale-yellow glow radiating underneath her hands. She slowly lifted them away to reveal the now perfectly smooth skin where the lacerations should have been. The light retreated almost immediately, and her hands had healed from the electricity as well. 

“My heaven’s…,” Kamilah whispered in awe. Slowly she sat up and groaned, the soreness from the connection of muscles and skin still being felt. “That was…thank you.”

Isabel smiled at her sincerely. “You’re welcome. You deserve kindness and love too you know.”

Jax was the next of the vampires she went to. "You...you did good kid," he stammered, still incredibly weakened.

"Yeah, you did!" Lily exclaimed, before wincing hard. "Sorry, it just really freaking hurts."

Isabel shook her head. “I know, but hold tight. It won’t in a minute.”

She made fast work of mending both of them.  

“You know, I really love having you as my best friend, especially now that you can shoot lightning bolts,” Lily told her after she was finished with her. 

“Me too Lil. I’ve never said this to you out loud but, you saved me you know.”

The gamer furrowed her brows at her. “How?”

A tiny pang of sadness pooled in Isabel realizing just how unappreciated her friend must have been by others. “After I left Derek, Alyssa was my only friend who I’d hadn’t pushed away, and then she moved to Massachusetts and I was here alone. And you welcomed me with open arms, no questions asked. I needed that more than you’ll ever know.”

“Isabel! Now you’re making me cry. You know how much I hate that.” Lily crushed her into a tight hug. “Now go, save your prince charming over there.”

The assistant smiled and made her way back to Adrian. When she said the enchantment this time, she kept her eyes open so that she could watch the process unfold completely.

“I’m guessing that this is what you and Ginny were up to while in Paris?” he asked her. 

Sheepishly she nodded. “Yeah and then Jax helped me with the training once we left. I’m sorry I kept it from you, but Ginny insisted, said you were too overprotective to let me go through with it. I was going to tell you soon but then you got kidnapped so, that wasn’t exactly possible.”

“Eh, she’s probably right. I’m not mad about it though, you did what you needed to do.” 

Good as new, he slowly worked himself up from the concrete as the others did the same.  

“You owe me and Jax after all the loose ends are dealt with,” she quipped as the five of them walked out into the dark New York streets, still as lively as ever. 

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh? And why is that?”

Jax let out a scoff and Isabel gave him an incredulous look. “The bet remember? After we visited the Louvre. We were right, love always wins.”

The memory flooded back to him now. “That’s right. With everything that’s happened since I forgot all about it. What do I have to do to repay?”

Isabel locked eyes with Jax and they both shrugged as a euphoric feeling coursed through her veins, making her light as air. Peace, at least for now was accomplished and that was a satisfying thought. 

With a smile, she replied in a sing-song voice. “I don’t know yet, you’ll just have to wait and see.”    

[ebonydusk]

Things that were, things that are, and things that may be...

I’ll warn you right now this post might get rather long, so I’ll be sure to put most of it under the line. And also warn that this post contains very personal talk about severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, abortion and suicide.

I’ve made various posts over time on this hellsite. I call it that cause...it really can be at times. But it’s also a place I can vent and put my thoughts out into the world, even if I know no one will notice or will really pay attention to it. This one though, this one is probably the most personal.

I’ll start off by explaining I’ve suffered from depression the majority of my life. I can’t possibly tell you how or when it truly started, but I can recognize now that it was there since I was young. It went hand in hand with my growing anxiety that was born of being isolated and over protected and sheltered in a small town with small minds. It’s possible it all came from the fact I was molested as a child. Up till I was at least ten. Which is the last time I let him come near me. My grandfather was a ‘war hero’. A ‘pillar of the small community’. A ‘good man and a good father’. A ‘wonderful husband’. But he also didn’t keep his hands to himself. And I never told anyone. Not my mom. Not my dad. Not my sweet grandmother. No one. They still don’t know. But my therapists and my husband and closests friends now do. I’m not as ashamed of it anymore. I realized only recently I shouldn’t be, it wasn’t my fault. And I’m not the one who should have ever felt such shame and guilt.

But keeping that secret since I was so little and never dealing with it left it’s mark on my small mind. A mark that festered and grew into fear and anxiety and self hatred.

Then I realized I was into girls. I felt...out of place. I wasn’t really shamed of that per se. But it WAS a small town. I got picked on by those that knew. Those that guessed. And those that just didn’t like how quiet I was. I was the “girl to talk to if if you wanted to ‘experiment’” to most of the girls in school. I mostly went along with it cause...how exactly did you say no to some of the most popular girls in school and not end up the target of some serious Mean Girl shit? Right? So I started my experimenting early. My girlfriend at the time got jealous easy and she wasn’t happy about none of it...but she was also closeted and afraid of people finding out. There was a point she became a source of bullying just to throw people off.  I grew cautious of telling people. I didn’t want to be targeted anymore. I didn’t want to be used. I didn’t want to be looked at as a freak. Another secret I had to keep. Another thing I had to hide. I’m more open about it now. I still haven’t pin pointed what I am myself. And that’s ok. It really is. FOr everyone who’s unsure it’s ok. No matter your age or how long you’ve had to figure it out.

I met my husband in high school. He was a bright point in those times for me. (And a dark one too, it was high school after all. Drama.) We were on and off more than once. Him being a hormonal guy and me being the idiot that kept forgiving him when he’d come crying back to me when his attempt to move on was rejected harshly. (he’s a wonderful man but he can still act like a teenager sometimes.)

And yes, we did get married. Which leads me to another stressful point in my life. I was left on my own shortly after our marriage. My husband practically volunteered to go be sent overseas. He had to ‘prove himself’. He had to ‘get away’. And so he left. We weren’t prepared. I certainly wasn’t. For nearly a whole year I was left on my own. In a tiny apartment. At first I was ok...until both cars broke down. I had no ride and I was too scared and anxious to ask for help. Cause the one time I did I got guilt tripped about being a burden to my husband by someone he worked with giving me a ride. and the manager of the apartment was a ‘military hater’. So she wasn’t happy about us. So I felt trapped. Alone. Scared. Isolated. And I gained 100+ pounds from ordering out cause I had no way to leave. It was  dark time and I was a mess and the apartment went to shit cause of it too. It was my first mental break. I didn’t recognize it then. I do now though. When my husband returned it was to a barely kept together apartment and a wife that was suddenly overweight and mentally unsound. It was a stressful time. I tried to get help...but they did nothing but throw medication at me that didn’t work.

One of the many reasons I don’t fully trust doctors.

Fast forwarding by a lot, skipping over quite a few little things that went on that probably had some affect on me. But we’re gonna go with big things for now. We’re in alabama now. I need a job. Jody helps me get one at a bowling alley on base. It’s my first job after FIVE YEARS of me trying and searching with little luck. The place was ok at first. But things went downhill fast. The promised hours were not what I got. The manager ran two buildings and the one I was at was the one she hated the most. (She admitted this often.) She micromanged everything. Talked down to everyone. Expected more than was could be given.

I was doing the job of 10 other people at that place. And for not enough hours and during the BUSIEST times of the week. The weekends. Most people will scoff at that. “Only the weekends? Pffft! You wimp! You child! That’s nothing!” Yeah. Maybe it is. But those three days of work? They were awful. They were draining and it got to the point I would actually cry before having to go back cause it was so bad. I hated it. But I kept trying cause I felt guilty. I felt weak. And I didn’t want to disappoint my husband who HELPED me get the job. During all this stress I found out I was pregnant. (this part is very upsetting for me and might be for others too. I apologize to anyone who is still reading this.) I didn’t know how to feel when I looked at that stupid pee stick. I was dumbfounded. I told my husband and...his reaction broke my heart. He panicked. Badly. He had to be sure. We went to a doctor. They confirmed. Their ‘Congratulations’ hurt me. It cut too deep. Cause I knew what my husband wanted to do. He wasn’t ready and he was panicking with every day.

He had me convinced we couldn’t do it. I knew it was bull. I knew it wasn’t true. The military would have paid him MORE to have the baby. I knew it. THey increase pay for such things. But I didn’t know how to fight him on it. I didn’t want him to hate me. I didn’t want him to regret or resent me. So...I went along. I agreed.

I know I told some people that it was done cause it was affecting my health. I lied. I felt too ashamed to tell the truth. I didn’t want to say “we got rid of it cause we weren’t ready”. Cause that wasn’t all true. HE wasn’t ready. I was more than so. I always wanted kids. At least one. But he...

He once told me “If it happens then it happens and we’ll deal”...that was clearly not the case. The abortion broke me. Both mentally and emotionally and physically. I hurt. So much. I still have nightmares at times. Not as often anymore thankfully. But back then it was almost every night afterwards. I...I went back to work. I had to. What else could I do? But not long after returning I just couldn’t anymore. I saw a therapist and he was kind. Understanding. I wasn’t used to that from doctors in the military. He helped some. But it was a temporary thing. Not a full time therapist. But even with his help I could stick it. I had to get away from that job and I needed time.

So I quit...And I felt ashamed and guilty cause I was handed that job on a silver platter and I couldn’t stick to it. I did for 4 years but I still felt horrible.

I stopped seeing that doctor. I stopped taking my meds. I just...tried to move on on my own. I tried to find other things to do. I had my friends online and they helped a lot. I disappeared into my writing. I distracted myself for a long, long time. Then things started going downhill ‘last year’, of 2019. Money getting tighter. Friends getting busy. Some of my favorite places to hang out online, RP forums mostly, were slowing or dying and shutting down. Some of the people I called friends weren’t talking to me anymore. I knew some were just busy and dealing with their own lives but it still felt painful and I felt alone again. Even with a house of three dogs, a roommate, a husband...I felt unwanted. Unloved. Useless. worthless. Pitiful. Shameful. Painful. I couldn’t sleep right. I was staying up for DAYS straight cause of my nightmares and insomnia and my brain just not turning off. I barely ate. My husband had started doing new better work but also college classes and had NO TIME. No time to talk. No time to sit with me anymore. No time. And I knew he needed space to work. I understood that. I wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t that he didn’t care he was just too busy to focus on anything but. Yet it still hurt. I was alone. I felt hollow and full of nothing but darkness at the same time. As dramatic as that sounds. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to not be a burden. I didn’t want the people I knew to feel they had to bother with me anymore. They wouldn’t need to worry or care or bother checking on me anymore. No more emotional mess that is me. No more mother hen monster fussing. No more pestering to hang out. No more.

I had a plan. I had a method. I had a place. All I needed was to wait for my husband to leave in the morning. Make sure the roommate was still sleeping in like always. And I’d take care of it all. I’d stop being a pest, a burden, a mess, a black mark on the lives of those I knew. I’d stop being a disappointment, a failure, a weakling, a pathetic excuse of life.

But one night...I realized those thoughts were wrong. just a moment. Just a spark of a thought. Through the dark fog that dominated my mind. And I sat down and talked to my husband. I told him what was wrong. I told him what I had planned to do. And he took me to someone as soon as possible. They sent me to a hospital (by the way 16 hours waiting in a hospital room is AWFUL and hospitals should be ashamed). And THEY sent me to a Behavioral Health Facility. A nut house. Yeah. BHF is just the nice way to name it. I was there for three days. It seemed to help. I calmed down. I discovered I had diabetes while there too.  I continued to seek treatment. I got my therapist. I got my psychiatrist. I have help now. Continuous help. Consistent help. And I’ve stayed on my meds this time. All this started in May 2019. I went into the BHF on May 10, 2019 and I’ve done my best to stick with everything. I’ve realized a lot about myself and I’m working on a lot of things. I’m hoping to keep getting better. There are a lot of people that helped along the way. People that kept me from doing something I’d regret sooner. Some that helped me more than they could ever realize and I wish I still talked to them. But I know they’ve had life keep them down. I want to thank them right now for being there for me. Misty, Tahki, Jessi, Tana, Fishy, Oobi, Verg, Aru, Naan, that one person who kept answering my depressing blogs and cheering me up ( I’m so sorry I can’t remember your name at this time I feel horrid), There are so many others...I want to thank you all. I’d @ you but I don’t want to disturb you with this long ass mess. I love you guys. Always will. I’m sorry for not talking to any of you more. But know I’m still here. And I’m still thinking of you. Always.

[strangerivy]

Let The Rain Fall - Five

Summary: With graduation quickly approaching, Elena is cramming for finals. She can’t help but be curious though about the hushed whispered between the rest of the Cullen’s. After much reluctance, she ends up at the reservation with Bella once again. Now that Jacob knows that she knows about their secret and her relationship with Jasper. Can they get along? Warnings: None in this chapter, some anxiety attacks throughout the series Pairings: Jasper  x OC (Elena)  Genre: 17+ | Fluff Word Count: 4207 Author’s Note: Let me know what you think! I am always open to feedback to better my writing ♥  

Links: || One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six || Masterlist ||

Jasper and I spent every waking moment together after that night. During the day and after school I spent my time at his house and at night he would stay at my house while I slept. At first, I thought it was a bit strange having him watching me while I slept since he doesn’t need to sleep but the comfort of having him next to me helped me sleep at night.

Bella and I were almost inseparable now as well especially when the Cullen's went hunting, we would go spend our time on the reservation with Jacob and his friends. Jasper insisted I went with Bella every time Edward would take her saying it was the safest place for me when he was gone which always made me roll my eyes at him. I had made it 18 years without dying before him coming into my life but of course, that response always just got me a scoff and me ending up in Edwards car with Bella, on our way to the reservation. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes I don't even know how I ended up there. It would just happen.

As we got closer to the summer months and graduation, the weather was starting to clear up and the Cullen's missed a lot of school because of that. Jasper showed me why after I had asked a few times continually pestering him for two days straight about it. For weeks, he would just grin shyly and say another day. When he finally did, I won’t forget it. Just standing there sparkling in the sunlight. It was captivating but as entranced as I was by his skin, I made a mental note to never try and punch him.

As weeks went on, I could tell they were hiding something from me, that there was a reason other than Jasper not being there to protect me or watch me while out hunting that he sent me to the reservation with Bella. I had caught them speaking to Carlisle in hushed whispers before and they would immediately stop when I walked in the room. When I brought it up to Jasper, he said it was nothing to worry about. That it would be 'taken care of'. Whatever that meant. I would try and listen in, but Edward would always say he could hear me. I felt like a snoopy little sister which I didn't like so I quit trying. 

It was Friday and we had just got back from school; Jasper was outside with Emmett and Edward working on Emmett's Jeep. Something about a new sound system. I sat in Jasper's room with the back door open letting the fresh air in. I loved the smell of the evergreens on a sunny day. Jasper had bought a bed to put in his room for me even though I had never spent the night there, I was grateful though because it was more comfortable to sit in then the lounge chair which I had moved closer to the back door. Since the weather was better, I've been sitting in it with the doors open and reading some of the books Jasper had.

Today though I was sitting in the middle of the bed with my English book laid open in front of me working on a finals paper that was due on Monday. Graduation was right around the corner and finals were kicking my ass. Jasper offered to help but I politely declined letting him know this was something I needed to do myself without using his advantage of having gone through school more than any normal person would. But I guess when you live forever, what better way to spend it then learning. Keeping up with the world. It was better than living in isolation which seemed like the only other alternative and what I imagined normal vampires did. Ones that drank human blood.

We had only been going out a couple of months now and the subject of me becoming an immortal hadn't come up and I would be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind. More often than I would like to admit. The more I saw in their world, the more it appealed to me. To be able to live all these years, to see so many decades go by watching the world change around you.

I heard a knock that startled me pulling me out of my thoughts and looked over at the door to see Bella standing in the doorway. I smiled placing my unfinished paper in my book closing it so I wouldn't lose my place.

"What's up?" I asked motioning for her to come sit with me, she came in and sat on the foot of the bed.

"We're going to the reservation tomorrow." She announced I nodded my head with a soft sigh, to be honest, I was kind of tired of going to the reservation. Don't get me wrong, I loved hanging out with Jacob and his group of friends they were hilarious, but I didn't see why it was necessary for me to go. I got up the courage to ask Bella thinking she might let me in on what was going on.

She patted my leg getting up from the bed and began walking out of the room.

"Bella, what's going on?" She stopped at the doorway and turned to face me. She was shifting her weight between legs and her fist were clenched as if she was deciding whether to clue me in or not. She came back over to the bed sitting down again. She looked at the door as if trying to see if anyone was listening. When Edward or Jasper didn't appear at the door, she looked back over at me.

"Last year, I was being hunted by a vampire named James. It was...it was kind of crazy." My eyes widened but I stayed silent so she could finish, "We ended up killing him, but he had a mate, Victoria." I could tell this was bringing up some bad memories the way she was shifting her weight back and forth and looking down at her hands. She took a deep breath closing her eyes for a moment trying to collect herself. I gave her a sympathetic look urging her to continue when she was ready.

"She's after you, isn't she?" I asked quieter than I intended putting the pieces together. She nodded confirming my question. That explained a lot but not why Jacob and his friends could protect us against a vampire. "Why do we go to the reservation then? It’s not like we are safer there with a bunch of kids." She scoffed standing up again clearly amused by what I said. I raised my eyebrows at her not understanding what that was for.

"You remember how you saw that wolf in the woods when you first came to forks?" I nodded my head but still looking at her confused and not really understanding where she was going with it, "There aren't only vampires in this world." 

"You mean werewolves? You can't be serious." I laughed and she looked up at me shrugging her shoulders with a smirk. She was serious. My laughter slowly died off "So Jacob is a werewolf? Was he that wolf I saw?" Bella shook her head no but before she could continue explaining, Jasper and Edward were at the door now and Jasper did not look thrilled, to say the least.

"Bella, could I speak with Elena?" his voice was dry and had no emotion to it, it kind of frightened me but I tried to not let it show. Bella gave me a small smile before exiting the room with Edward. Jasper shut the door behind them and came over to me sitting down where Bella was just seated. I had to admit I was a little upset that he didn't tell me any of this. That he was hiding it from me. I mean I understood his reasoning to protect me, but it was a little discouraging.

"Don't be mad at Bella, I pushed it," I said leaning back into the pillows crossing my arms. He smirked placing his hand on my leg rubbing it gently.

"Oh, believe me, darlin', I know," I smirked and shrugged, Edward must have heard my thoughts and told Jasper the conversation that was going on.

"You couldn't hide it from me forever," I stated straightening my back in a very matter of fact manner, he sighed removing his hand from my leg and looking away from me

"I know," He whispered, we sat there silent for a few moments. I moved closer to him placing my hand under his chin moving his head to look at me. 

"Talk to me," I pleaded, if this was going to work between us, he needed to talk to me. I started to fiddle with the comforter as he remand quiet. I sighed pushing myself up from the bed, reaching over to grab the current book I was reading. He looked up at me and watched me walk to the lounge chair sitting on it and began reading the book. I wasn't going to just sit there while he decided what to do might as well get some reading in. After a few minutes, I felt the chair sink down signaling he was now sitting there with me. I didn't take my eyes off the pages. He gently took the book out of my hands placing my bookmark back in and closing it setting it to the side.

"Elena, you are safe, I want you to know that. Victoria isn't after you." He was worried I could tell that much. I sighed leaning up closer to him grabbing his hand.

"Then why all this protection stuff? I may be a weakling human, but I did make it 18 years without you, you know." He laughed and looked up at me placing his hand on my cheek. I leaned into it kissing his palm softly.

"You are anything but weak. Stubborn but not weak." He joked and it made me laugh leaning back into the chair. His face went serious and I waited quietly for him to talk when he was ready.

"There's a vampire army coming." His voice was serious, and his accent went a little thicker than usual. He stood up walking towards the wall looking at the glassed civil war artifacts he had. That's when it clicked in my head, those belong to him. "The murders and disappearances in Seattle that have been in the news. It’s because someone is creating newborns. Untrained newborns. Highly lethal."

"I see," I whispered looking down, he places his hand under my chin moving my head up to look at him again.

"Hey, you have nothing to worry about. I will protect you." I nodded knowing that but what did that mean about him.

"You're going to have to fight them, aren't you?" He nodded, I frowned at that looking away from him.

"I'll keep going to the reservation," I muttered in defeat, he smiled leaning over to kiss my forehead. He stood up grabbing my hands helping me up. I looked out the window not noticing how late it was.

"I should be getting home," I mumbled as he wrapped his arm around my waist kissing my forehead again, I closed my eyes relaxing into him.

"I was thinking you could stay here tonight." I looked up at him in shock and confused. There's no way my mother would allow that, and he knew that. She loved Jasper but I was still living under her roof so her rules. No sleepovers with boys until after graduation.

"You know my mother will never go for that," I said chuckling he sighed giving in. We rode the motorcycle back to my house. He dropped me off taking the motorcycle back to his house. He would be back later. The lights in the house were on so my mother was still awake. I walked in and she was sitting on the couch watching a movie. She looked up at me with a smile and that's when I noticed the man next to her on the couch.

"Oh, Elena! Your home." She seemed shocked I was home, so I gave her a confused look glancing over at the clock it read 9:30PM

"Yeah, uh I am." 

"This is Noah," she introduced the guy next to her and he waved at me and I nodded back. This is so awkward. "It was so late I thought you would be staying at Bella's." She admitted, I smiled at her and shook my head.

"I was with Jasper but uh I'll be in my room mom, goodnight." I quickly turned down the hall and went into my room shutting the door. Jasper was already there waiting for me he had a cheeky smile on, and I threw my jacket at him.

"Shut up," I laughed going over to my dresser to grab some pajamas. I changed turning out the light and got into bed next to him. I placed my head on his chest draping my arm around his waist and he wrapped his arms around me. I moved my head to look up at him and he gave me a small smile. I looked at his arm staring at the scars that were all over them. 

"How did you get these?" I asked lifting his arm up to get a better look at them. They were bite marks. I moved my arm underneath me to sit up a little.

"My up bring wasn't as pleasant as my adoptive siblings," I sat up more intrigued by what he was saying.

"What do you mean?"

"I was a Major in the Texas Calvary during the Civil War. The youngest there ever had been without really seeing a real battle. After evacuating some women and children I ran into an immortal, her name was Maria. She turned me, enlisting me into her army. I command her newborns, my ability made it easier, but she never let them live a year after they were changed, she had me kill them and I could feel..." He was beginning to get upset, I could tell he didn't enjoy talking about this. I reached my hand up touching his cheek, he looked down at me giving a soft smile reaching up and placing his hand on top of mine. "It’s alright," He whispered kissing my palm. We slid back down on the bed.

"Did you love her?" I blurted out not able to drop the subject my curiosity was taking control.

"No, I thought I did at first but as time went on, I knew I was just another tool to her." I stayed silent after that, "I love you though," I looked up at him looking for confirmation that what I just heard was real. He laughed softly laying down fully on to the bed facing me. He pushed the hair out of my face leaning in to kiss me. It was gentle but passionate at the same time.

"I love you too," I whispered once he broke the kiss my stomach filling with butterflies. I drifted off shortly after that into a dreamless sleep.

Jasper was gone when I woke up, I looked over at my alarm clock which read 9:00AM. I groaned throwing my comforter off me. Jasper would be there soon, so I needed to get ready for the day at the reservation. I walked out of my room and my mom’s door was opened. I glanced in seeing two pairs of feet at the end of her bed. I didn't want to look further feeling sick to my stomach I grabbed the door closing it softly. I took a deep breath going into the kitchen to grab something to eat opting for a pop tart. 

There was a knock on the door meaning Jasper was there to pick me up. I grabbed my purse and phone opening the door.

"Mornin'" He greeted, I smiled, and we walked to his bike. He droves us to the meeting spot. Bella was already there waiting for me with Jacob. I gave Jasper a kiss goodbye before walking up to them. Jacob didn't look to pleased. Bella must have told him that I knew about him and his pack. He didn't say a word as we got into the truck driving off the reservation.

It was a pretty awkward day. The guys all treated me a little differently since I now knew. Like they were sidestepping it trying to avoid the conversation. I ignored it by reading my book. I just wanted to get back to the Cullen's. I was finishing up a chapter when Jacob walked up to me looking like he wanted to talk. I place my bookmark in closing the book. He sat down next to me. We stayed quiet for a few minutes just watching the guys throw a football around the beach.

"Bella told me that you know." He finally spoke up his face was more relaxed from this morning. I nodded my head. "I understand why she had to tell you. Can I ask you something though?"

I looked over at him waiting for him to ask his question.

"What do you see in them?" He must be referring to the Cullen's. I shrugged not really know what to say.

"I see good." I finally said, he looked at me confused which I got. How could I think of them as good? They've killed people I'm sure, but they were good now and that's what really mattered not the past. He scoffed shaking his head.

"I'll never get you and Bella." He muttered; I gave a small smile with a small chuckle.

"Sometimes I don't get myself, Jacob." He smiled at that, I watched him turn his head staring over at Bella and that's when I saw it. The twinkle in his eye his body slouching in a hurt matter. He was in love with her.

"Have you told her?" I asked he looked back at me confused, "That you love her?" He shook his head picking up some rocks and beginning to throw them into the ocean. I was impressed, the ocean was far away. Must be werewolf strength or something.

"No, not yet."

"So, you plan on it?"

"I do, is that a problem?" He was starting to get defensive. I gave a small shrug not really wanting to anger him further. "You know, I hope you don't make the same mistake she is." He spat. Okay. Now it was my turn to be upset. I mean really who did he think he was?

"What the hell does that mean?" I spat back getting up, we were drawing attention to us now. Paul and Seth stopped throwing the ball and began walking towards us. Sam stopped his conversation staring at Jacob sternly.

"It means I hope you don't end choosing a life that only ends in blood Elena. That you're not thinking about...about becoming one of them." He stood up now and was getting closer to me. Our noses almost touching. I wasn't backing down now.

"That is none of your fucking business Jacob." I was yelling now I could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes, I hated that anger always lead to crying for me. Really ruined the whole being angry thing for me. Paul was next to Jacob now telling him to calm down. Jacob shoved Paul off.

"So, what you're going to be a leach! You know. I hope you do..." He paused with a very disturbing grin on his face "So I can be the one to put you out of your misery." I threw my book at him hitting him in the face. The tears had broken through now, but I was fuming. How. Dare. He. Before I could yell anything else, Seth was next to me pulling me back telling me to stop and that's when it happened. Jacob phased. It wasn't a human who stood in front of me. It was a very large brown wolf. A very large pissed-off wolf. Sam phased now and was growling at Jacob. Jacob looked at me then at Bella before running into the forest Sam following. I must of went into shock because everything became blurry and almost slow motion. I could hear people speaking but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Next thing I knew we were in a truck headed back to the meeting point.

Edward was there but not Jasper. Bella got out of the car and I followed holding my arms. I felt very defeated. Jacob's words hurt. Would he really do that if I became part of the Cullen's? If Jasper turned me? Would he really try to kill me? I shook my head trying to push the thoughts out of my head. Bella came up to me placing her arms around me leading me to Edward's car. Edward spoke to Paul a bit more before getting in the car to take us home.

"I'm sorry Elena," He said looking at me through the rear-view mirror, I gave a small smile. When we pulled up to the Cullen's house, I could see Jasper was standing on the porch looking very pissed off. He appeared at the car door once we parked helping me out of the car. He walked me into the house and up to his room. I couldn't speak. I didn't want to speak. He kissed my head before going back downstairs to talk with Edward. I laid down on the bed rolling over to look out into the forest. Then the sobs came. I didn't know what to think. Did I want to become a vampire? Did I want to end my life and become an immortal leaving my mortal life behind? My family. My home. It was so much to take in. I heard the door close and my sobs had turned into soft sniffles now. Jasper got on the other side of the bed pulling me into him. I buried my face into his chest breathing in his scent. I felt the familiar rush of calmness knowing he was the one causing that.

"Elena," he whispered, there was something in his voice that sounded broken. I looked up at him to see he was hurt. Hurt by what Jacob said. I knew Edward told him what happened today and what Jacob had said to me.

"It was just a stupid fight, Jasper. Just a really fucked up fight." I choked out throwing my hands down on the bed in defeat. He gave a soft smile lifting my chin up to look at him. He gave me a soft kiss putting a small smile on to my lips. I looked into his eyes and at his face trying to take in as much as I could. I really did love this man. I needed to know.

"Jasper, do you..." I paused pushing myself up to sit upright. "Do you want me to be like you?" Fear flashed in his eyes; he grabbed my hand bring it to his lips. His body tensed as the smell of my blood hit his nose.

"Elena. It seems selfish of me to want that. But I do." A sense of relief went through me and I smiled wiping the tears from my face falling into him in an embrace. He was taken back from my fall but easily gather his composure with a laugh. I pulled back kissing him. It was full of love and passion. He deepened the kiss running his tongue along my lips waiting for entrance. I opened my mouth letting him. He rolled so that he was on top of me using his arms to remove his weight off me. I ran my hand up his back and into his curls. He softly bit my lip forcing a small moan out of me. I moved my other hand to the end of his shirt trying to pull it up.

"Elena," He said between kisses "Elena stop," He broke the kiss, but we stayed in the position we were in. He brushed a loose strand of hair out of my face leaning down to give me one more kiss before rolling off me.

"I'm sorry if that was too forward," I whispered this caused him to laugh turning onto his side to face me.

"Believe me, that is not the case darlin', I want to I do. It just not only is it dangerous but, in my time, one waited till marriage to share such an intimate moment." It was my turn to laugh now. There's the southern gentleman.

"Jasper, it’s been quite a while since your time," He grinned looking down

"That it has," he looked up at me giving me that half-smile I was so in love with. I groaned in frustration knowing I was fighting a losing battle.

"Fine. We'll wait." I finally said giving in to his outdated formality.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

[screamingatanemptyroom]

The Super Villains’ Daughter Part 4

HERE IT IS GUYS! I ENDED THE STORY!!!! The last part to the story of Erica and Henry/Jarrod. I really hope you guys like it. 

For those who haven’t read the earlier parts/need to refresh: 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 

ERICA

“Are you still bleeding?”  My mother looked down at me with a disapproving expression.

I met her gaze without expression. I was only twelve but I knew what would happen if I spoke back. Seeming satisfied with my lack of reaction she dropped a package into my lap.

Confused, I opened it with one hand, the other clutching a rag against my thigh which had been slashed open during fighting practice. I knew that direct pressure was my only chance at slowing down the bleeding.

It wasn’t like they were going to take me to a hospital.

To my surprise the package contained a few objects: antiseptic, sutures, and a small book with pictures explaining how to close wounds. I looked back up at my mother, not wanting to voice the question I wanted to ask.

“You have thirty minutes to sew up your wounds before we move on to poisons.” Her voice was flat, her eyes making it clear what would happen if I didn’t.

I looked down again, my eyes watering at the size of the needle. This was going to hurt.

“You will not receive any local anesthetics or narcotics to numb the pain. “ My mother continued, noting my less than enthusiastic reaction. “Pain leads to strength, seeking relief from pain is weakness. Remember that.”

She walked away, leaving me to stare daggers into her back.

One day.

One day I would take her down. Take them both down.

Sighing quietly to myself, I grabbed the kit, and prepared to sew on my thigh.

I woke up gasping in a strange room, my hand automatically reaching for the gun under my pillow, and meeting nothing but air. I struck out, my hand hitting a chest that was more like a brick wall. Panicked, I reared back to attack again.

“It’s okay, Erica! It’s me!” A familiar voice settled me enough to pause, to study my surroundings. We were in a large, open apartment, brightly lit. I was on a couch with someone sitting beside me, grasping my ankle.

It was Henry.  I let out a small sigh of relief.

“What are you doing?” He had a jar of ointment on the table beside him, was applying it to my leg.

“You had a burn from the trap that they… from the electrified floor. The captain said you wouldn’t want to go to the hospital, so when the field doctor cleared you I brought you back to my apartment.”

He seemed uncomfortable, letting go of my leg and gently placing it back on the couch.

“I would have brought you to your place so you could be in familiar surroundings but I obviously don’t know where you live and I didn’t know what else to do…Crap.” He hit his forehead. “I’m making a mess out of this.”

“What’s in the ointment.”

“It’s nothing dangerous!” He was quick to defend himself, although I really was only asking out of curiosity rather than suspicion. “It’s a pain relieving ointment for the light burns.  I didn’t want you to be hurting when you woke up!”

His open face along with his simple explanation startled me. When was the last time someone had tried to keep me from hurting, tried to take pain away instead of causing it? It didn’t take long for me to remember. It was back when we were kids and still thought we were brother and sister.

Henry always did worry whenever I got hurt.

I sat up, testing my arms and legs, mildly surprised that I felt no discomfort with the movement despite the burns from my parents’ trap.

Pain leads to strength, seeking relief from pain is weakness.

My mother’s words mocked me, but they were quickly pushed to the back of my mind with his next question.

“They said you poisoned yourself?”

I sucked in a breath, only now remembering what my parents had said before I lost consciousness.

She shouldn’t have much longer.

“They were lying right?” Henry’s face was pale, his gaze nervously looking me over as if expecting me to fall over any minute. “You aren’t dying from a poison, that was just a trick, right?”

I stared down at my hands. “What else did they tell you?”

I couldn’t remember anything after telling them I would rather die. They wouldn’t have stopped there.

“Please, Erica, please tell me they were lying.” There were tears in his eyes, but I ignored them.

“What did they want in exchange for the antidote?”

“…” His face turned blank, he avoided my gaze.

“Hen…Jarrod. What. Did. They. Want?”

A long sigh escaped him. “I wish our lives had been different.” He reached out, grabbing my unresisting hands in his own, turning them over. His thumbs rubbed across my forearms, where multiple scars from years of fighting and torture crisscrossed. “I wish I had never left. Wish I had suffered with you sometimes.”

“Jarrod…”

“Wish I had taken you with me, more.” He looked up at the ceiling, and then closed his eyes, tears escaping from the shut lids. “Wish I hadn’t been a self-centered prick who wanted to be strong before I came back. Wish I had saved you, or died trying.”

“Jarrod…”

He let go of my hands, hid his face behind his own, but tears continued to fall. “No one deserves what you’ve gone through. No one deserves to live a long happy life more than you.”

My vision blurred. Was I crying too?

“Henry…”

“You were my sister, my protector, my other half. You meant everything… still mean everything to me.” He stood up, and walked towards the door. “I won’t let you die. Not while I’m still breathing.”

I tried to call out one last time, but he was already gone.

HENRY/JARROD

I left her behind, my mind racing, feeling strangely calm despite the emotions that had threatened to overwhelm me just moments before.

I wasn’t going to fail her again.

But to pull it off, I needed a few things.

The anti-super power technology her parents wanted. A location. And to see the Captain.

First, the anti-super weapon. I sighed quietly, turning towards the Hero Assistance Unit Headquarters. 

Fortunately, being a hero had its perks. I knew a guy.

“Hey Jarrod!” 

Greg was practically jumping up and down with excitement, his hands clutching a black briefcase. “I’m so glad you called, I was worried after that raid I did went south that you wouldn’t want my help ever again!”

The raid? My forehead wrinkled as I tried to puzzle that out briefly, before realizing that I had given him a location of a base as part of Erica’s plot to unmask the mole. I thought we had contacted everyone else the next morning to clarify that the “raid” was off… but I guessed we missed someone.

Had he gone to a supervillain base all by himself?

Shrugging mentally, I decided not to ask further.

“Did you bring what I asked?”

“Of course, Jarrod! What else is the HAU for if not to assist heroes like yourself?” His groveling set my teeth on edge, made worse by what I knew he had tried to do to Erica. Of course, the moment he had tried to touch her she had put him in the ICU.

I smiled at the thought, and Greg beamed back at me, thinking I was happy about his words.

“Here it is!” He opened up the briefcase in his hands. “The Anti-super power gun! VSU had been working on the technology for a while now, but HAU took over since the VSU is just small time agents anyways.” He snorted loudly, apparently forgetting that he had once been part of the Villain Suppression Unit and had been kicked out for sexual harassment.

I checked the weapon, a sleek, silver appearing gun. The muzzle was oddly shaped. “Does it shoot bullets?”

“Nope! It shoots a dart, that injects the anti-super power serum.” He pointed to the small box of ammo. “It is made to look almost exactly like the HAU stun dart weapon, so you need to be careful..” He laughed loudly. “Don’t want to accidentally shoot someone with one of these puppies instead of a stun dart or something.”

I looked at the dart closely, with a morbid fascination. “Is there an antidote for the anti-super power serum?”

“They’ve been working on it, but no luck so far!” Greg paused, seeming slightly uncomfortable for the first time. “Hey, Jarrod? What are you going to use this for? I can take it out of the HAU because I’m on the security team, but it needs to be back in 24 hours.”

I snapped the briefcase closed, smiling brightly. “No worries. That’s plenty of time.”

Leaving him behind, my hand tightly clutching the handle of the briefcase, I moved on, a plan forming in my mind.

I had the weapon.

All I needed was a way to contact the Shadow Couple.

Which meant I needed to have a little talk with my younger brother.

 “What do you want?” 

My brother looked tired, as he eyed me with suspicion. We were in a private visiting room, another perk to being a super-hero. I guess even with Michael’s powers of invisibility and speed they didn’t think he could get past me to escape.

Which worked for me. I wanted the privacy.

“I’ve given up on asking you why you never helped Erica, a little girl who was suffering.” I sighed as I leaned back in my chair. “At first I thought maybe you were scared. You didn’t want to tell me my ‘sister’ was being hurt. I even thought that maybe the Shadow Couple captured you as a child and forced you to work on their side.”

“…” Michael warily said nothing. I continued on as if talking to myself.

“But then, I thought back to all our ‘training fights’ before I regained my powers. Back to how mom and dad treated you like glass once I was stronger than you. How I was ‘the weakling’ when I couldn’t beat you, but I was ‘a bully’ once I could… All of that started to make sense, and I came to a conclusion.”

I leaned forward, a slight smile on my face.

“You are a coward. A coward who enjoys watching people weaker than you suffer.”

“ You son of a…” Michael’s face contorted with rage, he reached towards me, only to break off on a squeal of pain as I grabbed his hand in my own. I squeezed until the bones started fracturing into multiple pieces.

“It hurts, doesn’t it? It hurt me when you broke my bones too. All those ‘training accidents’ when we were kids. You were quite a sadistic little bastard.”

Michael tried to pull his hand away, his face pale and sweating with the pain.

“I forgive you though. We were kids. Our parents enabled you, taught you to bully the weak and cower before the strong. A strange lesson for a super hero, but I don’t really think any of family qualify for a term like ‘hero.’”

“If you forgive me, then let go…” He forced the words out with a groan of agony.

I tightened my hand instead, feeling a few more satisfying cracks. “I forgive you for what you did to me. What you did to Erica on the other hand…”

“PLEASE!”

“I’ll stop when you tell me how to contact the Shadow Couple.”  I grinned as he shook his head slightly and shifted my grip to hold more of his hand. “Otherwise I’ll break every bone in your hand one by one, and then move onto the next. You’re in with a hero, no one will even bother to check on you. We can be here for a very, very long time.”

My smile turned bitter as he quickly spit out a number that would reach them.

“See, that wasn’t so hard.”

I fired my weapon under the table.

He leaned forward with a groan as the dart struck Michael in the stomach.

“What did you…?”

I quickly put the weapon back in the hidden holster under my pant leg. Slightly dismayed but relieved at how easily I had snuck it past security, I leaned over the table, reaching out to remove the dart and stored that as well.

“That was the ‘anti-super power weapon’ the Shadow Couple is looking for.” I smiled. “I thought I would test it out before handing it over.

Michael shook his head. “ARE YOU CRAZY! You can’t give them technology like this! They’ll destroy everything!”

I raised an eyebrow. “So its okay for you to help them for money, but not okay for me to help them to save someone’s life?”

“Save… “ He trailed off, his eyes narrowing. “You’re doing it for that bit…” I pushed the table lightly, and it flew into his stomach, cutting off his words.

“Don’t worry about the world, brother dearest. You have much bigger problems.” I stood up, straightening out my jacket with a casual motion.

“I’ve arranged for you to be transferred.”

Michael mouthed a single word. Where.

“Blood Row.” I smiled as his eyes grew wide.

Blood Row. The most notorious layer of prison for the worst kind of criminals. The kind that hated heroes the most.

“Don’t worry, they are well aware that you were working for the Shadow Couple… and betrayed them to get a better deal. You should fit in nicely there. Especially now that your powers are gone.”

I turned towards the door and knocked, waiting for it to open.

“Wait!” His voice cracked on the word. I turned back towards him with a small hint of curiosity.

“Blood row is… death sentence… please… I’m your brother.” He was struggling to talk after the blow from the table but he pushed on, his face desperate.

I watched him silently for a few moments.  “Sorry, I’ve come to the realization that despite being a superhero, I’m not all powerful. I can only protect one person. And she deserves it a hell of a lot more than you.”

The door opened, and I walked out.

“WAAAIT!”

I didn’t turn back again.

ERICA

“Where is he?!” I slammed my fists on the Captain’s desk.

He raised an eyebrow, looking up at me with a sarcastic grin. “Hello to you too.”

“Cut the crap, Captain.” I was not in the mood to joke. “I’ve been following Hen… Jarrod’s tracks all day. He stopped by the HAU, picked something up. He stopped by the prison and saw his brother, and then he came here. What did he tell you?”

“Would you believe it if I said he didn’t tell me anything?”

“No.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I wouldn’t either.” He looked me in the eye. “He told me the truth. About the poison.”

I sank down into a nearby chair. “Crap.”

“Yeah.” He glared at me. “Were you ever going to tell me that you were dying?”

I shrugged. “Probably not.”

“Great.”

“At least I’m honest.”

“In some ways, I guess.” He leaned back, rubbing his temples with his fingers. “Is this why you’ve been so desperate to put away as many villains as possible these last few years?”

I waved a hand dismissively. “We can pick apart my psychological motivations at a later date. I want to know where he is right now.”

“I don’t know.” He held up a finger, stopping me before I could argue. “And that IS the truth. He wouldn’t tell me where he was going, wouldn’t risk his plan going off course.”

My stomach dropped. “What is his plan?”

“Here.” He handed me a letter. “Everything he told me should be in here.”

I opened it with trembling fingers, scanning over the contents quickly before tearing it in half.

“We have to stop him.”

“It’s too late.” The captain sighed. “By the time he had come to talk to me, he had already sealed his fate. There was nothing I could do but let him try to save you.”

I laughed, but it sounded more like a sob as it caught in my chest. “It won’t work. They’ll kill him.”

He nodded. “They might.”

“Why didn’t you stop him?”

“Because I couldn’t.”

“You wouldn’t.”

He shrugged. “Maybe so. He and I happen to agree on something, though.”

“What?”

“That you’re worth saving.”

I stood up, my feet unsteady. “And if I tell you I’m not going to let him die?”

He clapped my shoulder, handing me a tracking device. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I walked out of the office, one thought and one thought only dominating my mind.

I would save him.

HENRY/ JARROD

“That didn’t take long.” The woman I had once thought was my mother smiled with the slightest hint of exasperation.

I didn’t smile back. I simply clutched the black case tighter. “She doesn’t have long. I wouldn’t waste time.”

“Honestly,” The man sighed, turning to his wife. “If we’d known it was so easy to get a hold of this technology… I feel like we wasted years of planning.”

She patted his shoulder. “It’s fine dear, what matters is that we win in the end.”

Turning on a device in her hand, her smile widened when it beeped and flashed green. “You didn’t lie and came alone. I’m impressed.”

I shrugged. “I won’t risk her not getting the antidote.”

“Indeed. Then I assume you brought the anti-super power device?”

I nodded, holding up the briefcase. “Here.”

The woman’s eyes narrowed. “You open it.”

I set the case on the ground, opening the lid to reveal the dart gun and ammo.

He smiled. “Looks good so far.” He sighed. “Take the gun out slowly and hand it to me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Do you really think I trapped the case?”

“I trust no one.”

“I won’t risk Erica not getting the antidote.”

“So you’ve said. Take out the weapon. Slowly.”

I lifted the weapon by the muzzle, pointing it at myself and handing it handle first to the man. He grasped it, his hand tightening around it with a satisfied expression.

“And the ammo next.”

I lifted the case of darts, handing it to the woman. She lifted one out, studying it closely. “Such a powerful little weapon, in such a little dart.”

“Will you give her the antidote now?” My voice sounded weak, defeated.

She raised an eyebrow. “Not so fast. How do we know you didn’t give us something fake?” She handed it to her husband who loaded the dart into the gun.

“I didn’t…”

“I know, I know… you wouldn’t risk her not getting the antidote, blah blah blah.” The man pointed the gun at me with a smile. “Only one way to find out.”

The dart hit my arm. I pulled it out with a groan. They both studied me a moment.

“Did it work?”

“How could we tell? It’s not like there would be a flash of light or something to say he’s lost his powers.”

The woman chuckled. “I have an idea.”

I fell to the ground, A knife in my left chest.

“Nice throw, Honey!”

“Thanks!” She stepped closer, looking at me closely. Reaching down, she slowly pulled the knife out. “It’s not specially coated like the anti-super darts. If he still had his powers it shouldn’t have penetrated his skin so easily.”

“He lost his powers?” The man whistled. “What a fool. He gave us exactly what we asked for.”

I curled up in a ball on the ground, my hands clutching the bleeding wound in my chest. I was having trouble breathing, was my lung collapsed?

“An-Antidote…”

The man rolled his eyes. “So persistent. But we did make a promise.” Pressing a button on his belt, a screen behind him turned on. It was live security camera footage, showing the front lobby of the VSU. A man dropped a package off at the front desk dressed as a courier, before turning and walking out with a quick wink to the camera. “There. The antidote is delivered to her doorstep. Beyond our reach.” He smiled. “Congratulations. You saved her. Just like you wanted.”

The woman leaned over me, using her foot to turn me onto my back. “Want to know a real kicker of a secret though?” Her grin was vicious. “We would have saved her either way.”

“Of course.”

“We love our daughter.”

“She’s to inherit the family business after all.”

“Hopefully she’ll be more inclined with you having betrayed her.”

“And dead.” The man laughed. “Don’t forget he’ll be very much dead by the time she finds him.”

They both pull out knives, one clean, one already slick with my blood, and moved forward.

“Fast or slow?”

“Better be fast, we have work to do with this special weapon.” He patted the dart gun at his side.

... 

It was done.

I couldn’t help it. I started to laugh, so hard that I started coughing up blood.  

The woman paused, disconcerted. “What’s so funny?”

“You think you have the anti-super power weapon.” I chuckled, spitting to clear my mouth before continuing. “You think I would betray her?”

The man shook his head. “You’ve obviously lost your powers, don’t lie to us.”

I grinned, feeling a wet pool start to form beneath me. “Shot myself with the REAL anti-super weapon before I came. You only have blanks.”

The woman’s face contorted as she reared back, kicking me. “YOU’RE LYING!”

“Even an idiot like me knew you would test out the weapon. My bet was that your first target would be me.” I leaned back my head on the ground, exhausted. “Turns out I was right.”

“So we gave up the antidote for nothing?” The man sighed. “Well, we were going to cure her anyways.”

“How disappointing.”

“Let’s kill him anyways before we leave, so we haven’t wasted the trip.” She leaned over with her knife… I closed my eyes, resigned. 

“HOLD IT!” 

A loud voice called out. A familiar voice.  My eyes shot open again.

“Erica…”“SWEETIE!” 

The woman called out as the same time as me, opening her eyes wide. “How long have you been there?”

She stepped forward, her armor and weapons gleaming in the florescent lighting of the villains hideout. “Not long.”

“You missed it, dear. We mailed the antidote to the VSU! You’re saved!”

The man shook his head. “But your dear old brother betrayed you.” He lifted the dart gun in his hand. “Gave us anti-super technology.”

I looked over at Erica, wondering if she had seen my letter. She met my eyes briefly, and then looked up. “Is that so?”

“Yes of course. What a disappointment he is. So weak.” The woman reached out to touch her. “You should join us, dear. You belong with your family.”

Erica smiled. “You’re right. I do.”

With that, she kicked her mother across the room.

BAM! She hit a wall of computers, sliding to the floor with a groan.

The man sighed. “You never learn.”

“No.” Erica’s smile only grew wider. “You two are the ones who never learn. Falling for the same trick twice.”

“What do you...?” Mid-sentence, the two collapsed on the ground, unable to stand or move. I sighed with relief as Erica stepped closer, helping me to my feet.

“You’re an idiot.”

“That poison took longer than I thought.”

She glanced at her parents with a sigh. “The same poison I used all those years ago. I can’t believe the Captain let you have the only sample. Where did you put it? On the dart gun?”

I grinned. “No, on the darts. I didn’t want to touch it myself.”

“You would have died if I hadn’t made it on time.”

I started to laugh, and then groaned as the action aggravated the wound in my chest. “I guess I owe you another coffee for saving my life.”

“And don’t you forget it.” She walked towards the Shadow Couple, her feet slowing as she neared them. I wasn’t sure what she was about to do, but unsurprisingly, I found i didn’t care.

“I won’t say anything, no matter what.” I meant it. She could hurt them; kill them. After what they had done to her, I would look the other way.

She grinned at me. “Good to know I’m a bad influence on you.” Leaning over, she injected something in each of their arms.

“It’s a capsule.” She informed them seriously. “Contains a deadly poison. Set only to release if I press a button.”

“….” They stared at her in shock.

“Don’t worry, I won’t push it… as long as you stay nicely in prison where you belong. Understand what will happen if you escape again?”

She spread her hands helplessly, then turned to grab me as I swayed on my feet, almost falling.

“Let’s get you to the hospital.”

“What about…” I tilted my head towards the temporarily paralyzed couple.

“My team’s got it. They’re just cleaning up the rest of the gang I took out on my way in.”

“Did I ever tell you that you’re a total badass?”

She smiled. “Oh, don’t worry, I know.”

The VSU streamed in, packing away the shadow couple as the world started spinning around me.

“Could you stay awake, Henry?” Her voice was slightly panicked. “I can’t carry you alone.”

“Sorry I guess I’m a deadweight…” I started to apologize and then the world faded into darkness.

ERICA

“Why did you want to talk to me?” I asked, sipping on the office coffee and then setting it down, making a face at the bitter taste.

The captain sighed loudly. “For once in your life, would it kill you to treat me with the respect due a superior officer?”

I considered it carefully. “Yes. It might actually kill me.”

“I should fire you.” He grumbled.

“You won’t.”

“You’re right, I won’t. Dammit.”

Shaking his head slowly, he leaned back in his chair. “I called you in here because you’re being assigned a new partner.”

SLAM!

I had been in the process of putting my feet up on his desk, and they slammed down on the floor as I sat up in shock. “Wait! I’m working with the HAU liaison, remember?”

“I remember, even if you’ve conveniently forgotten that you were the one who protested loudly and frequently about ‘babysitting a tights-wearing goodie two shoes.’ As you so eloquently put it.”

“Still, you overruled my objections and teamed us up. So I can’t have a new partner.” I smirked.

“You have to, since the liaison position has been terminated. “

“No. No, Henry is the liaison.”

The Captain frowned. “Jarrod was the liaison. He has since resigned. You are working with VSU’s newest recruit.”

I blinked in shock. Why hadn’t he told me? I had been to the hospital every day while he recovered, but he had been discharged two weeks ago, and hadn’t contacted me since. Just as I was starting to plan all sorts of vaguely sinister plans for getting back at him for quitting being the liaison without telling me, a knock at the door caught my attention.

“That must be your new partner now.” The captain gestured towards the door. “Could you let him in? His hands are probably full.”

What did that mean? I groaned and stood up, making sure my face had been configured into my best glare before opening the door. But as i saw who stood behind it, my jaw dropped.

“Henry.”

He stood in the doorway, precariously balancing three coffees in his hands. “Erica” Henry grinned, the expression causing me to smile back unconsciously. “A little help?”

He handed me a cup, holding the other two more securely with a sigh of relief. “That one’s yours. Black, sugar, no cream.”  He placed another one on the desk. “Captain. Triple espresso, and don’t you dare tell your wife I’m getting this for you. She’s terrifying.”

The captain drained the steaming hot coffee in one gulp, as if daring it to try to burn his mouth. “Almost strong enough.”

“And my perfectly normal drink.” He sipped at it quietly, I noticed he kept a lid on it.

“You ordered extra sprinkles again, didn’t you?”

“No comment.” We laughed.

As we all sat down, I studied him carefully. “So you’re the new recruit to the VSU?”

“That’s right.”

“What about hero work?”

He shrugged helplessly. “Well, for now, I’m powerless, thanks to the anti-super power serum. They’re working on an antidote, but who knows if or when I’ll get my powers back.”

I glared at him. “It’s all your fault you lost your powers.”

“Worth it.” He was unrepentant.  “But until then, I’d like to work where I could do the most good.” He held out a hand. “As the partner of the best agent the VSU’s got.”

The captain snorted quietly, but I ignored him. Instead, I studied the hand in front of me, thinking back to a time he had made a similar gesture in this office and had been ignored.

I had grown up learning to never trust anyone, especially heroes.

But looking at the idiot who risked his life just to get an antidote for me, I thought that I might be ready for something new.

I might be ready to have someone watching my back.

I reached out, and took his hand, shaking it firmly. Henry’s face lit up with a bright happy smile.

“Let’s do it.”

“Good. Now sit down!” The captain yelled, obviously uncomfortable with the emotion in the room. “I have your next assignment, and I would appreciate it if you could do it without remodeling the villain lair using the unconscious bodies of the henchmen like last time… not that I’m naming names… Erica.”

Laughing, we took down the information, and headed out of the VSU headquarters, walking side by side.

Teammates.

Partners.

Family. 

[dapaperbag]

My take on why and how Touya (Dabi) left the Todorokis and became a villain

We all love Dabi is a Todoroki theory and really enjoy reading a lot of theories you guys have. But most of them don't discuss the reason why is Dabi at the current state he is. And it's pretty understandable since we don't really have much canon information about what happened to Touya (actually before Pro Hero Arc we had none). So basing on how the characters, the Todoroki family, acted in that arc and behaviour of Dabi, Shoto and Endeavor earlier in the series, I tried to connect the dots. But take everything I say here with grain of salt since most of these are just assumptions, that try to fill the holes of the theory. The following is not a theory itself since it's supported by too little amount of evidence. But tried my best to stay down to earth, so every Todorokis' behaviour when it comes to Touya, as presented in Pro Hero Arc makes sense.

So, I imagine that Endeavor the entire time, up until Shoto's quirk manifested, was trying to train Touya. It made Touya, who was already weak physically (Rei's weak constitution as told in Joint Training Arc, which made his body not suited for his quirk, similar to Aoyama; besides his quirk not being compatible, i guess that the two opposite to each other quirks combined in the wrong way and that's why he ended up being generally weak, and it for example was showing in Touya being small), pretty unstable mentally. He was for this entire time being told how weak he is (which is why Dabi so often refers to how weak he is) made him really insecure about anything he does and his self esteem was really low. We'll get back to that later.

I imagine that he for a pretty long time thought that the abuse from Endeavor was "normal" – he was a son of a number two hero so it's okay for him to expect his children to be as good or better than him. But this thought's didn't make the pain caused by brutal training any less easier to handle. That's why he wished for his siblings not have any type of strong combination quirk, and he felt relief when Fuyumi and Natsuo's manifested and weren't the ones Endy was looking for. He kept saying to himself that he is able to handle it. He was also oblivious to his mother being abused. Also note that he had good relations with his siblings, especially Natsuo, but he was kind of a sociopath at school so he didn't have any friends. Natsuo was always concerned about his brother's well being and he always knew about Endy's abuse to his brother (to which Touya thought that Natsuo is exaggarating and it is how it should be, even if it hurts).

Touya's mind changed once Shoto's quirk manifested. Endy's focus turned completely to him, and that's when he understood what his brother meant. Watching his brother going through the same (or maybe even worse) shit made him as concerned as Natsuo was and he finally felt that what Endeavor was doing is wrong and shouldn't have a place. And Touya couldn't make himself to do anything to help his brother, he couldn't even talk to him because Endy made sure that they – the failures, won't have any contact with Shoto – his final, perfect creation. This made him sure in Endy's words, that he is weak, he's worthless 'causing these words/feelings to haunt him almost everyday. Situation with his mental state has been getting even worse, since he's belief in heroes got completely destroyed, and being the son of Endeavor, he often heard how he's father is "cool", "great", "heroic", making him hate the current society, which is "blinded by heroes" and made him wonder how many other heroes were corrupted. He was one thing – that nobody was going to safe him. People rely on heroes to safe other, but who will safe them from the hero himself?

The point when Touya just lost it all was when Rei poured the boiling water on Shoto. As much as blind Touya was on his mother's well being, he finally understood how broken his entire family was – it wasn't just him and Shoto being the victims, the entire family was. Having no one to rely one, Touya completely lost his mind and decided to oppose to his father just this once. One night, when Rei had been already put in the mental hospital and Shoto was also being hospitalized, Touya decided to encounter his father. The argument between them got really bad, and Endy being really on the verge of his nerves because of the recent events used violence on him. Touya fell into total madness and decided to use his power againts him. He covered himself on fire, but because of him losing control of himself the fire got even stronger (though it was already better than Endeavor's) and turned blue. This, along with Touya's body being not suited for his quirk caused his skin to burn and Touya suffering from great pain because of that. The pain made him faint which caused his quirk deactivate, stopping the fire. Natsuo was a witness of this situation and Fuyumi was sleeping.

Touya was sent to the hospital. Endeavor using his authority and influence, just like he did with Rei and Shoto's situation, made the hospital staff stay silent about it so it wouldn't reach the media nor the police. Once Touya got back his consciousness he just "surrendered". He stated that there is no way of helping it but he just can't stand this anymore. We accepted that he can't protect his family, and "being the weakling that he is" decided to run away (Note that he still had his bandages on so the family doesn't know how the scars look like; he also run away in the same clothes he had when he was first introduced, notice how they seem to be too small on him).

So here we are with the current state withing the Todoroki family: the public is unaware about any of those situations; Rei and Shoto have been told that Touya moved away, as he couldn't stand the situation and cut the contacts with the family; only Natsuo, Fuyumi and Endeavor know about the event, with the siblings not telling Rei and Shoto because they don't want their mental state to go worse, since it's already been bad (even though Natsuo really wants to tell them, opposite to Fuyumi who wants to keep it a secret as she thinks this may ruin the chance to become "normal family") while Endy just doesn't want this to go public and in fear of ruining his career he doesn't want to spread this info (of course I am talking about pre-redemption Endeavor, he may have changed his mind righ now). Note to the Shoto view on this: he is oblivious to the abuse that happened to Touya, he actually barely remembers him (he was only five when Touya run away), so it explains his "ignorance" on Touya's topic. Also why does Natsuo care so much about it and why Fuyumi doesn't want to talk about this. Dabi himself after living about ten years outside of the Todoroki family household, when he couldn't find his place to live, finally encountered the Stain's ideology (which got popular after his defeat). He got back his will to live and got a life goal – kill Endeavor as it's the only way to show the true face of the heroes and bring the justice to him and the currupted hero society.

But hey, that's just a theory, a Dabi is a Todoroki theory.

[insanetwocubes]

It’s really funny and interesting the discrepancies of Flare’s acceptance and how her baseline determined the our conflicting self issues we would have later on in life.

It’s a really big and fundamental thing and the differences between the acceptance that helped us and the lack of acceptance that is inhibiting our happiness are easy to see.

We have a few big things that’s causing core issues. And the one thing that went absolutely perfect.

Mental shit aside (even though gender is and also went beyond existing as a construct, I’m not gonna include it as merely a social construct), the big fundamental thing that went wrong is gender identity/self-expression. The one big thing that went perfect is actually funnily enough sexuality.

The thing that lyke all us gays struggle with is sexuality, managed to be the one and ONE and only thing that me and Flare just accepted and moved on with.

Flare is pan (pan) and very grey ace. I am panrom and (geyyyyy) (shit I been saying gay so much I’m blanking out on the actual term) 

Gynosexual. Sorry had a giant brain blank.

And Flare is okay. With all of those. Oh yeah and I’m of course Allo. You just talk to either of us about sex and the difference is clear.

Anyway it’s been two youtubers that I really like that came out as not straight (well one was out publically as transbinary lyke publically with the whole she-bang. Transitioned on camera all throughout the years goddamn Contrapoints you was out like now it’s everyone’s business. Kudos though hot fucking damn).

What was I on about. Oh right. It wasn’t until she and Ollie each came out as not straight-

Okay. Kinda like Thomas Sanders, Contrapoints was lyke always implying here and there (according to my memory) that she was some flavor of bi. Apparently that wasn’t lyke the truth in her brain. But anyway anyway.

I just assumed I guess if you gonna check mark one lgbtq letter, you’re gonna be gucci with being all the other letters. Now I realize that’s not even true for us.

Anyway anyway going back to the point. Both these awesome cute-ass people were lyke describing this giant struggle with their sexuality. And only now I realize that we’re (Me and Flare) weird in that we barely struggled with sexuality. Of all the different ways of being gay, we found the gay aspect the easiest to deal with lmfao.

And I’m not saying anyone who struggles with gay thoughts is a weakling pansy. I’m just saying we’re unusually cool with gay thoughts way more than most people?

This is a strength on our (actually Flare’s, I’ll get to that) part. Not a weakness on others’.

Okay I lost my point. So Flare’s hears lyke someone say once something that basically meant “finding girls hot isn’t the worst thing in the world and honestly if you don’t think girls are hot you are missing out big time dem girls like HOT DAMN.”

That’s how I would say it lmfao. But basically Flare started out as lyke “I hate boys and girls equally stop doing this sex shit at me all the time” and then someone was lyke “hey if you have ever felt like doing the sexy sex with a boy and you have the same feeling towards a girl then you are pan and it’s okay.” 

Flare was lyke “I have felt like doing the sexy sex with a boy once (1). And I have felt a similar feeling towards girls but I never really thought it was a thing.” And then she thought about it. (As much as her greyace ass thinks about sex which is lyke .1 times maybe when a blue moon is out. Or her boy’s moon is out if you know what I’m saying lmfao girl gets lyke the hots so easily for her boy she just loves him so much okay back on topic.)

And she’s lyke “so if the feeling is the same, and being pan is okay, then I am pan and it’s okay.” Anyway I realize I’m definitely not into dat gross boy dick so I got to Flare and I”m lyke “Hey fam I’m not 100% into the d like you” and Flare said “okay that’s cool.” 

So now. In Flare’s world, being pan is okay. Being gay is okay. Lyke it was easy. Just like that. I said no, Flare said ok and we were cool. Just because she was raised and influenced in a such an order of experiences that someone told her it was okay to be pan before someone told her it wasn’t okay to be gay.

I mean being gay is kinda like being pan-lite.

*offended* Bitch. Did you just try to swing your dick at me?

Bitch, I ain’t gonna not but don’t be mad if I beat your ass.

Okay anyway. I don’t wanna give anyone the impression that I”m playing gay olympics.

If you are though, I win hands down.

Then I win the trans olympics!

(Why would you want to win something like that?)

Oh here we go guys. Exhibit A. It’s 110% okay to be gay according to Flare. But if you’re trans....

Not that she’s not doing her best. We’re all still figuring things out.

But being trans is less okay. She didn’t want to tell her boy that I was trans. And she refused for a long time to use the pronouns I’m trying out (kinda having second thoughts about the it pronouns but like I said WE’RE ALL FIGURING SHIT OUT). Anyway she is so hesitant with trans thoughts and me being trans that it actually led to her misgendering me for long enough for it to hurt.

:( Sorry.

It’s okay. (I get it. I love you.)

So I guess I don’t even know what happened but it was just that the fact that if you look like a girl, you use she/her pronouns was so instilled in Flare and no one was there to say that if you look like a girl, but you use other pronouns that it’s okay and it’s cool and it’s a free country man.

I guess that if anything we’re just lyke very easily convinced by peer pressure?

We kinda fell into the whole “being gay is okay” side of the internet but-

And I say fell because the first time the subject of non-straightness ever came to our attention was because of a random discussion on a vlogger’s youtube channel.

But no one was there to specifically say “if you look like a girl and sound like a girl but you kinda don’t want to be a girl or a boy or use any of those pronouns, that it’s cool.” So I have to spend years and mental energy to fight Flare for my need to express myself as anything different than a perfectly normal girl.

I guess. The moral of the story is. Go to kids and just say. It’s okay if you like girls. It’s okay if you like boys. It’s okay if you don’t like either or both. And it’s okay if you don’t like being a girl or being a boy or being called she or he. And either way it’s okay.

And for kids who just hear that simple concept and accept it, they’re not gonna have this lyke tearful years-long struggle with being any flavor gay or any flavor of trans or any flavor of ace.

It took us literally one thought to be okay with being gay. It’s taking us literally years to be okay with me being trans.

I don’t mean any hate on Flare btw no hard feelings. Trauma made it impossible for her to deal with being “not normal” but somehow liking girls kinds slipped past it? Idk man. Girl’s traumatized, give her a break.

~Four

[darkangeldesignstudio]

Mother’s Day

Sorry this chapter was posted a bit late today, but its been crazy around here and I feel like crap today lol. But, I promised a chapter every other day and here it is. Chapter 4 is here. Only one left to go. Love yall and thanks for all of the love and support I’ve been receiving since I started posting this story.

Negan x Reader

Honestly, writing this story was hard. The angst was real and the PTSD was not fun to deal with, but I feel like sharing this story with you all has made me stronger in the long run and I hope you all enjoy it. Remember, if you are ever going through something like this or know someone who is, talk about it, ask for help and know in your heart that, no matter what happens. YOU ARE STRONG!!

Summary: When the world ended, you used it to escape a living hell. Later, found yourself a place to call home in Alexandria. You  and your two children were welcomed into the community and you soon found a friend in the reformed soul of a prisoner named, Negan. Your relationship grows steadily over time and he becomes an irreplaceable part of your family, but when a nightmare from the past rears its ugly head, will your love be enough to keep you alive?

Warnings: Negan’s foul language (as usual), implied smut, talks of mental and physical abuse towards children and women, threats of sexual assault, violence, and death.

Chapter 4

By the time winter came and left, you were all thankful for what the community fair had brought in the fall. Winter had been extremely hard that year. Snow covered the ground on multiple occasions, knocking out power and forcing everyone to gather in the only three houses that had fireplaces. The kids kept up high spirits, having fun despite the cramped space and grumpy adults. Snowball fights were abundant on sunnier days and by the time spring appeared, you all had gotten used to the close quarters. Even Negan came out of the ordeal with a few friends.

With spring, came another special day organized by the communities. Mother's Day was just around the corner and the council had decided to make a spectacle of the date. It was almost impossible to be sure of the exact date for Mother's Day, but everyone was excited to celebrate anyway.

All of the kids would be participating in crafts, making gifts for their mothers and grandmothers and even their sisters and friends. It would be a great day for the women of the communities. Love was abound and everyone was happy.

When the day came, your ex was the farthest thing from your mind and even if he hadn't been, there was no reason to suspect that he would come anywhere near Alexandria. Unfortunately, he showed his face about halfway through the festivities. He was with a woman that you didn't know, chatting with her as if he didn't even care that you were there, but that thought went right out of your head when he turned to you and gave a menacing grin. You immediately knew something was off.

Hurrying back towards the crowd, you spied Negan and the children huddled together and, by the way they were whispering, there was no doubt that they were planning your gift. Determined not to ruin their fun, you went in search of someone working as security for the festival.

As you skirted the crowd, nobody was the wiser when the gun was pressed to the small of your back. “[Y/N], its so nice to see you again.”

You fought the urge to shiver in disgust as his breath caressed your ear. “What do you want, Bryan?”

His chuckle sent fear shooting up your spine. “I just wanted to see my best girl and my boys. I was devastated when I couldn't find you. Followed your family all the way to Virginia before I realized you weren't with them.”

His hand slid up your forearm in a lovers caress before clamping down hard on your elbow. “Start walking, don't fight me or I'll take the boys back to Hilltop with me.”

Anger coursed your body, but you only nodded, feigning submission. He forced you to lead the way into a secluded area away from the rest of the crowd, stopping when you were seemingly far enough to be unseen by the guards around the wall.

He released your arm and you turned to face him, backing away a few paces. He lowered his gun, but didn't holster it and you knew you would only get one chance to escape with your life. You had to keep him talking, distract him until Negan or the guards came to find you.

Taking a steadying breath you lifted your chin, channeling your inner bad ass “What the fuck do you want? You never, really, gave a damn about me or the boys. This is just a new form of entertainment for your fucked up mind, isn't it?”

Honestly, it was probably a bad idea to curse the way you did, but Negan's brash ways had rubbed off on you and the angrier you got, the more confident you felt in the face of the danger this man posed. There was a risk that angering him would put you in more danger, but if Bryan was the same man you remembered him to be, your defiance would just encourage him to talk more. He would try to break your spirit down before hurting you physically.

Your gamble paid off. He laughed in your face and his face grew darker, more menacing. “Oh, the little whore wants to get some balls now? Guess its been too long since someone put you in your place.”

You didn't back down, you couldn't. Any weakness you showed would mean death for your family. “Like you used to? With your hateful words and your threats? You think, after everything I survived, everything I've been through, that I would be scared of a fucked up piece of shit like you?!”

His face was growing darker with every word you spoke, but you ignored the anger in his stare and stepped closer to him pointing at him as if you held your own gun. “I survived walker hoards, bands of villains that were bigger than you, smarter than you, I survived them all and I came through it stronger! I will NEVER fear you or anyone else! I found a home here and people that love me and MY children and I will be DAMNED if I will let you ruin this for me! So, Bryan, the best thing you can do right now is to take that little gun of yours, shove it up your cowardly ass and go fuck yourself!”

The last words you spoke were punctuated with your finger poking Bryan's chest until you finally shoved him bodily away from you. His surprise was so great, he stumbled a bit before regaining his balance. He was looking towards the ground as if he couldn't face you, then you heard it.

Bryan's laugh started quietly, his shoulders were the only thing to betray him as it grew to a higher volume. It was wicked, maniacal, like nothing you had ever heard before and you knew you had pushed him too far.

He took a deep breath before looking up at your fear filled eyes. “FUCKING BITCH!! I'LL KILL YOU!!”

His fist was flying before you even got the chance to move away. The butt of his pistol connected with your arm, blocking him just in time to avoid hitting your face. The blow was still hard enough to send you sprawling on the ground, a scream was pulled from your throat as the skin on your legs tore open on the ground.

You looked up just in time for him to grab the collar of your shirt and pull you up. His next blow connected with your gut, knocking the wind out of you as he laughed and taunted you. “Nobody's coming to help you bitch.”

Another blow connected with your right shoulder, separating it from the socket. Your scream was cut short by his hand over your mouth. “After I'm done with you, I'll go take my anger out on those two little weakling brats and then I'll have my way with that pretty little thing that follows them around.”

Anger and disgust churned in your gut, his depravity knew no bounds. Nobody was safe if this prick was allowed to live. You bit down on his palm and saw red at the first taste of his blood. His scream filled you with glee as you spit his blood onto the ground.

Unfortunately, you knew that you wouldn't be worth much in a fight with your dominant arm separated from its socket and tried to think of a way to get out of this mess safely.

Fortunately, Bryan must have assumed the same and holstered his gun. He always found more joy in using his fists than a weapon and this time it would be his downfall.

You got into a fighting stance, hoping and praying that your plan would work until your screams brought someone to you. But, just to make sure, you screamed once more, the fiercest battle cry you could muster, before charging Bryan's direction.

He was bigger than you, stronger than you, but you were faster and he didn't have training like you did. You were able to dodge and evade most of his blows. The few that connected were blocked or only grazed you. His power did him no good if he couldn't connect with you fully.

It felt like hours, the pain in your arm was draining what little bit of energy you had left. You were slowing down. So, when you heard the footsteps, you were relieved. Someone was coming, you just hoped it wasn't Negan, but fate was a cruel mistress that day.

Negan's voice caused you to stiffen in fear for a whole other reason. “[Y/N], what the fuck's going on!”

You turned to face him, wincing at the pain in your shoulder. You had no idea how bad you looked, but you could guess from the look of pure rage that filled his face. Walking slowly towards him, trying hard not to cry out at the pain in your body, you collapsed in his arms.

Negan's voice was filled with fear, fear for you. “Baby, why is he here? Why didn't you come get me?”

Mustering the last bit of strength you had, you straightened your spine, balancing on your own two feet again. “He had a gun, threatened the boys and Judith if I didn't cooperate.”

Those words were enough, Negan helped you to sit on the curb, never taking his eyes off of Bryan. His voice was hard, brokering no argument when he spoke. “Sit here, this wont take long.”

Looking up at him, you felt the most fear you had ever felt. “Please, Negan, be careful. He has a gun.”

Negan's smile was cocky as he looked towards his opponent. “Don't worry doll, this fucker couldn't kill me if he had twenty guns.”

Rolling your eyes heavenward, you caught the small smirk cross Negan's features and smiled back. If there was ever a time not to joke, it was definitely in that moment, but that never seemed to matter to this man and that made you love him all the more.

As Negan walked nonchalantly towards your ex you smiled wickedly. “Hey Negan?”

He looked over his shoulder at you, brow cocked in inquiry.

“Kick his fucking ass so we can go home.”

Negan laughed as he walked on, it seemed he was going to test his wit before he started talking with his fists. “Bloodthirsty little thing, isn't she? Why the hell would you ever let that go, man?”

Bryan only sneered. “Bitch needs to know her place.”

Negan's voice was an octave lower when he stopped, only feet away from Bryan. “She has a place, beside me as the confident and bad ass woman that she is. By the looks of it, she gave you a run for your money, just like I taught her.”

Taking offense, you yelled at Negan's smug smile. “Michonne taught me most of that, you ass. I only used you for practice.”

His shoulders shook as he laughed, whether it was at your reply or Bryan's angry face you didn't know. “Told you she was feisty”

Bryan, turning his attention back to Negan, didn't notice as Michonne and the other leaders joined you. Michonne gestured for you to keep quiet. Apparently there was a plan in place that you weren't privy to. Bryan's voice pulled you back to the problem at hand. “I don't know who the hell you are to that whore and I don't give a shit, she was keeping me from seeing my children.”

Negan stepped a fraction closer to Bryan, forcing him to focus on only him and their conversation. “You mean the kids you beat and tortured every damn day of their lives? The way I see it, they are better off thinking you are dead. You get one chance to walk away before I decide to make that thought into a fucking reality. Then, they will finally be able to live in peace.”

Bryan laughed, throwing his head back and covering his eyes as if he couldn't bear to look at Negan's face. Taking the opportunity, Negan stepped a bit closer and tried to get him talking again. “I don't see anything funny about this fucked up situation. Are you really that sick in the head?”

When Bryan looked back at Negan, you could see the madness in his eyes. “I get it, your that little bitch's dad or something. What was her name, Judith? I'll make you a deal, give me the bitch and those two brat sons of mine and I wont hurt your sweet girl. [Y/N] is a small price to pay to keep your kids safe right? What do ya say?”

You saw the minute shift in Negan's posture just before his fist flew into Bryan's face. “I think I'll just save us all some trouble and fucking KILL YOU!!”

The volume at which Negan yelled was enough to get Michonne and the others to come out of hiding. You all watched as Bryan was driven to the ground again and again. His screams of agony as bones broke was like a symphony as he finally got what he deserved a million times over. You never thought of yourself as someone who liked violence, but this was one of the best things you ever could have witnessed.

Only, it was over much too soon. Bryan lay collapsed on the ground as Negan stood over him. He wasn't dead, you could tell he was breathing and you didn't know whether to feel relieved or angry that Negan hadn't bashed the jackass's skull in.

Turning back to you and the small crowd of leaders at your back, Negan wiped the blood from his hands and walked back towards you all slowly. The look on Michonne's face spoke volumes, she was just as mad as you and Negan. The threat to her daughter had, apparently reached her ears along with everyone else's. All of their faces were hard, ready for another confrontation that, from the looks of your ex's broken form, wasn't coming soon.

Moving slowly away from the group, you met Negan halfway. He touched you softly, trying not to jostle your injured shoulder. “Told you I'd win.”

Rolling your eyes at the cocky grin, firmly plastered to his face at this point, you barely caught the movement from Bryan as he raised his gun, aiming at Negan's back.

Moving with a speed you didn't know you possessed, you pulled Negan's gun from his waistband. Shooting left handed was not something you did often, but at this point you were running on instinct. You snaked your way around Negan's back, shielding him with your body as you took aim and pulled the trigger.

Pain shot through your left hand and the gun fell to the ground. Landing on your knees, you screamed in agony when your right arm flopped limply at your side, but you had hit your mark. Bryan lay dead on the ground, the bullet finding a new home in his head. He never got a shot off.

“[Y/N], what the fuck!?”

Looking up at Negan as he crouched in front of you, you winced at the pain as you shook your right hand at him, smiling the whole time. “What the hell did you put in that gun? Fucking buckshot?”

Negan looked as if he wanted to yell at you, but appeared to think better of it with the sorry state you were in. Anyway, who could really complain when their woman just saved their ass. So, he took a page out of your book and rolled his eyes, sighing in exasperation. “Should have fucking done that begin with.”

Taking a breath suddenly became hard as darkness began to overtake your vision. “Yeah, you really...should...have.”

The last thing you saw was Negan's face as he jumped to catch you, calling your name as you passed out.