#such as dating since kinda my entire life and habits and plans are built around me Not Dating and not planning to

[thehardkandy]

i think i am just getting the impulse for a big life change but i dont actually know what it would be or what it would look like

[auburnaudry]

Fractured Family - Matthew Tkachuk

Chapter 1:

A/N: So this is the first time I have ever written literally anything. If you have any suggestions or feedback just let me know! I kinda want to make this a series, so if you are interested or have any suggestion on where to take this story I’m all ears!

Next Chapter —>

Summary: You and Matthew had a long history, dating for two years, until you guys “mutually” decided to split. It was civil and seemed liked the best option at the time. But shortly after splitting, you found out you were pregnant with Reign and everything in your life, including your relationship with Matt, became more complicated. (Flashbacks are in italics.)

Word count: 3293 words

It was really late at night and you just wanted to get your son to sleep. Him being only 3 months old, it was hard to get a consistent sleep schedule going, especially when you were sharing custody with someone who lives a completely different lifestyle than you.

After spending two nights with his father, your sons usual 10 minute bedtime routine turned into a long, drawn out, difficult ordeal, that you would be trying to correct for the next week. And once he was finally adjusted back to your routine, he was off to stay with his father again to continue the never ending cycle.

You rocked Reign in his chair for almost 40 minutes and finally settled him down enough to lay him back in his crib. You reached over to the changing table and turned the sound machine on, hoping that it would put him to sleep for even just a little while. You needed a break from the loud crying.

Walking over to the dresser sitting by the door, you grab the baby monitor and walked out towards the kitchen.

You mindlessly stared at your phone as you made your way down the hall. Distracted by your new notifications, you hadn’t noticed the handsome young man still sitting at your island waiting for you to return.

“Y/n/n”

“Oh my god, Matthew you scared me” you shouted, dropping your phone as your body jumped slightly from the shock of seeing someone unexpected in your apartment.

“I thought you left already, what are you still doing here” you continued as you picked your phone up off the ground, checking to make sure the screen wasn’t cracked.

You were caught off guard and slightly confused because Matt always left right after dropping your son off. You two had an arrangement that worked, minimal interaction that only revolved around your son. So when Matt was still lingering around your apartment almost and hour after dropping your son off, you couldn’t help but let your mind travel to the worst case scenario.

“Did something happen today with Reign?” You asked before he had a chance to respond to your first question.

You and Matt had a long history, dating for two years, until you guys “mutually” decided to split. It was civil-ish and seemed liked the best option at the time. But shortly after splitting, you found out you were pregnant with Reign and everything in your life, including your relationship with Matt, became more complicated.

“You should have been honest with me from the start then” you screamed at your boyfriend. You had been arguing for what felt like forever with no end in sight.

“I didn’t know what I wanted at the time y/n” he calmly responded “Fuck, I still don’t even know what I want, but I know its not fair to you, to keep going the way we are”. You two had been talking about where you see your relationship going in the future and this was the first time Matthew was really opening up to you.

As much as you begged Matt to express his emotions more over the course of your relationship, this time you wished he had kept them to himself.

“Y/n, you want to take the next step in this relationship and I’m not ready. I don’t know why I’m not ready but you are and I can’t hold you back.” Matthew sounded so sincere that you almost believed this was what you wanted too. “You need someone who is gonna take that step with you” key word was almost.

The past couple of weeks you had been hinting that you wanted to move in with Matt. You loved him and were sure you wanted to start the next chapter of your life with him. You never thought in a million years this would be his reaction but maybe you pushed him too much? Or maybe this was inevitable and he wasn’t looking at you as a long term investment. Whatever the reason, you now regretted even bringing it up.

“Okay, so two years down the drain I guess” you said as you rolled your tear filled eyes. His face fell at your words, he truly did love you and just wanted you to be happy. You were looking for forever and he admitted to not being ready for that kind of commitment. Instead of continuing a relationship that seemed to be at a stand still, the only option at this point was to end it. You weren’t going to sit there and beg him, you had too much pride to do that.

“I’ll just pack my shit and go” you walked past him to his bedroom to collect all the things that no longer belonged in his space. You almost expected him to follow after you, to fight for your relationship, but he didn’t, which hurt your heart even more. So you continued to pack up the things that had migrated from your apartment to his over the two years of being together. Your thoughts were now consumed with figuring out how you were going to move on and find someone to spend the rest of your life with, while he continued to live the bachelor lifestyle he was all so famous for.

Even though you rarely voiced it in your two years of being together, you were madly in love with him and broken hearted that he wasn’t willing to put in the effort to make your relationship work. You left his bedroom and made your way down the hallway, past the living room where Matthew was still sat, and out the front door with your bags in tow. You didn’t bother glancing back at him, out of fear you might do or say something you would regret.

2 weeks later…

You woke up and still hadn’t gotten your period. Your period had never been even a day late since you got it back in the 7th grade, so waking up for a 4th day in a row with no period, was worrisome. You didn’t think there was even a chance you were pregnant since you were on birth control, so you made an appointment with your gyno to ensure everything was okay. You were convinced it was just the stress of your recent breakup that was causing this irregularity in your cycle, but you couldn’t be sure without getting checked out first.

...

You pulled up to your doctors office for your appointment feeling extremely anxious. You just wanted to get it over with so you could stop stressing and go back to feeling sorry for yourself for getting broken up with.

You sat in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity. You scrolled through Instagram and somehow found yourself on Matthew’s page. It was definitely an unhealthy habit you had picked up since splitting. You couldn’t help it though, he was following new ig models everyday and in a sick way, you liked to compare yourself to them. It was a reminder that you weren’t what Matt wanted and Matt couldn’t be what you wanted anymore.

“y/n y/l/n” you looked up from your phone as your name was called “We’re ready for you”

You followed the nurse back to a bathroom located right next door to the exam room you usually got checked out in. The nurse handed you a cup to pee in, as you usually did at these types of appointments, and instructed you to change into a gown in exam room #2 once you finished up in the bathroom.

After you changed into the gown, the nurse came back to collect your sample and left you sitting on the exam table as you scrolled on your phone again, waiting for Dr. Cooper to come in.

“Y/n, congratulation you’re pregnant” Dr. Cooper walked in holding your charts. You had been going to Dr. Cooper since you were 16 and you had built a nice relationship through the years, talking about your personal lives and future plans during appointments. He was aware of your long term relationship with Matthew and by his enthusiastic tone and happy energy, it was clear that he was unaware of your recent breakup. You obviously didn’t expect him to know, the breakup was new and you only see him a couple times out of the year.

You couldn’t even process the news or anything else Dr. C had to say after that. Everything went fuzzy and it felt like you were in some crazy nightmare that you couldn’t wake up from. The only thing you did hear him say was that he expected you to be 8 weeks along from the information you told him and the ultrasound he performed.

You were a traditional person and always imagined you would be married or at least in a committed relationship before getting pregnant, so this entire situation had you in shock.

You were so numb from the news that you continued on throughout your day as normal, unsure of what else to do. But as you pulled into the parking lot of your apartment building, you rushed to get inside so you could finally breakdown and feel everything you had pushed aside for the past few hours.

You were silently praying your roommate wasn’t home when you walked through the door of your shared apartment so you didn’t have to face anyone. To your dismay, she was sitting in the living room calling for you when you walked through the door.

You hadn’t told her that you and Matthew broke up because you were so ashamed that the man you thought you’d spend the rest of you life with , didn’t feel the same way for you. The past 3 weeks you had been pretending Matt was away on a road trip or too busy with hockey to hang out whenever she asked about him. At this point you needed to get this off you chest so you walked right into the living room, sat down next to her, and unloaded the entire story before she even had the chance to say hello. As you spoke, her face turned from confusion to concern.

“Kay idk what to do, I don’t even want to tell him because I don’t need his help, but i feel icky when I think about having his baby and keeping it a secret.” You guys were talking through what you were gonna do about the situation.

Kaylee was the perfect person to ask because she also knew Matthew really well! Kaylee was the one who introduced you to Matt in the first place almost 3 years ago. They continually ran into each other while out at bars and talked so often they eventually became good friends. Being Kaylees best friend, you were later introduced to Matthew at a bar and you guys hit it off right away. You became really close friends and later started dating after a typical drunk love confession.

“And you’re definitely sure it’s Matt’s? Like there’s no chance it’s someone else’s right?”

“Yes of course I haven’t talk to anyone since the breakup, let alone slept with anyone!”

“I just want to make sure cause you didn’t even tell me you guys broke up, I wasn’t sure if I was missing any other important parts of the story” she paused for a second giving you a sympathetic look. The father was indisputable since you had only been with one man in the last two years.

“he’s a good guy y/n/n, I think he will be really understanding and a good father, it’s important you tell him, him and his family would want to know” She was right, she always is.

Before your talk with Kaylee, you fully prepared yourself to raise the baby on your own and expected nothing from Matthew. But when you thought about his family, a family that you had become a part of in the two years you were together, you couldn’t help but think of how disappointed they would be if they ever found out that you kept a part of them a secret. You had become extremely close with Brady and Taryn and their parents treated you like one of their own. They loved you and would unconditionally love your child, it wasn’t fair to them and more importantly, it wasn’t fair to your baby to keep them apart.

...

After a week of thoroughly thinking through all your options, you finally took Kaylees advice and reached out to Matt. You almost hoped he wouldn’t see your message or he would see it and just ignore it since you two hadn’t communicated since the breakup.

Y/n:

Hey Matty, it’s y/n, I’m not sure if you have free time in the near future but I kinda need to talk to you!

To your surprised he responded within minutes of your text.

Matty:

I’m happy you reached out, lets meet up! Can you do lunch tomorrow? Our usual lunch spot?

This all seemed too familiar, why was he texting you like you had never broken up and why did he respond at all? He could have easily said he was busy or trying to move on and didn’t want to talk, but he didn’t.

Y/n:

I was actually thinking we could do takeout or something and eat at my apartment?

You figure a private setting would be better for the news you were about to spring on him since you weren’t sure of the reaction you were going to get.

Matty:

Anything works babe

He had practice the next morning and a free afternoon so it was the perfect opportunity to tell him, giving him time to process since he had nothing going on for the rest of the day.

Matthew walked up to your apartment door the next day giving it his signature knock. You slowly walked to the door, opening it to find him standing there, carrying the to-go bags, filled with your favorite meal and wearing his perfect smile that almost made you forget why you called him over in the first place.

As you went to greet him, you caught a slight whiff of the food and the nausea that washed over you was so sudden and instantaneous, you almost didn’t make it to the bathroom.

On your run to the bathroom, you heard Matt’s footsteps following closely behind, but luckily you had enough time to lock the bathroom door before emptying the contents of you stomach in the toilet.

Matthew sat outside the bathroom knocking lightly “y/n are you okay” he waited patiently for your response.

When you felt the wave of nausea had completely passed, you stood up, flushing the toilet and making your way to the sink to rid your mouth of the taste that plagued it.

As you opened the door to the bathroom you were met with Matt’s concern filled face. If throughout your lunch date you wanted to change your mind about telling him, that option was completely off the table now. You had no choice but to explain what was going on and you just wanted to get it over with.

Matthew stood there staring, waiting for a response. “I’m pregnant” was all you could come up with.

He stared at you in complete disbelief but then realization washed over his face. “Who’s the father” was all he could manage, as if you would invite him over to tell him you were pregnant with someone else’s kid.

You wanted to roll your eye but they were so full of tears, you were scared that if you moved them, the tears would start running and you would fall apart in front of him.

“Yours” you whispered with a cold tone trying your best to keep your emotions at bay.

Matthew had alway wanted to be a dad and was great with his teammates kids, so you weren’t entirely surprised when he told you he wanted to be a part of your kids life.

You two spent countless hours and had countless lunch dates over the course of your pregnancy, talking about how you were going to co-parent and make everything work. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t secretly wish that you and Matt would end up back together, raising the family you always dream of having, but it seemed that ship had sailed for Matthew. His only concern was making sure his kid lived a happy and healthy life.

You were now waiting for a response from your ex on why he was still sitting in your kitchen so late at night.

“No no, Reign is fine everything is fine, I just need to talk to you about something” he said, not making eye contact with you. You were even more nervous now because you had no guess as to what he could possibly want to talk about.

“I’m talking to this girl” your entire world stopped spinning and your ears started to ring a little. You still weren’t use to Matthew talking to other women, you probably wouldn’t be for a long time, and now he wanted to talk to you about one of his hoes?

“Ummm okay” you said, unsure how you were even suppose to respond. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Things between us are getting a little more serious” you could literally feel you heart aching in your chest, but you continued to act unfazed by Matt’s admission. “I was just wondering what the appropriate time would be to introduce her to Reign”

You were almost stunned that he was even asking you such a stupid question. If it were up to you, Reign was never going to meet some trashy whore his father would bang every once in a while. Your son was only 3 months old, so to think that introducing him to a random, clout chaser was even an option for Matthew, made you extremely angry. Or maybe you were just jealous he had been seeing someone and it had gotten so serious that he was willing to introduce her to his newborn son.

You can’t even describe the feeling of the love of your life breaking up with you because ‘he wasn’t ready for commitment’, and then not even a year later he is in a serious relationship again but with someone else. You couldn’t help but think everything Matthew had told you was a lie, that he wasn’t afraid of committing, he was just afraid of committing to you.

“Y/n/n, did you hear my question?”

“Obviously” you spat “I just have to think, I wasn’t exactly prepared for this kind of question tonight or honestly at any point in the near future so I need time to think about it” you were bitter but you tried your hardest to not make it seem that way as you spoke.

“Take all the time you need, no rush, we’re obviously new to this whole parenting and co-parenting thing so we don’t have all the answers yet, but I don’t want to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” He finally made eye contact with you for the first time all night. You forgot how pretty his eyes were.

“Thanks for checking in with me, ill let you know when I figure it out” and with that he got up and made his way out of your apartment.

“Goodnight y/n” he said as he opened the front door and pulled his car keys out of his pocket.

“Night” you responded as you close the door behind him. Just as the door closed, Reign’s screams came over the baby monitor, distracting you before you had too much time to think about how alone you actually were.

[silenceofthecookies]

Bleach matchup for @stooch-betch​

Match up for either One Piece or Bleach~! I’m Biromantic Demisexual; although I tend to lean more towards guys. Age: 20 General appearance - most striking features, your fashion style, etc. Answer: I’m 5’2.5ft with a petite hourglass build, I have long, thick dark brown hair that reaches a little past my butt. My fashion sense is a mixture between Goth and Punk with a smidge of Grunge; mainly anything black with hints of fishnets, skinny jeans, chains, boots, and corsets. I tend to wear shirts that compliment my bigger than average chest due to trying to bring up my already low-self esteem but in a classy manner. I tend to hold a very hard RBF expression that people tend to believe I’m glaring at them when really I’m lost in thought. I tend to wear mainly winged eyeliner with mascara whenever I plan to go out, but on special occasions, I’ll do a full face of makeup with a cosplay-y flare. I have a couple of tattoos on my arms and scars scattered around my body from being a bit of a tomboy growing up.

MBTI, western zodiac chart, etc. Answer: INTP (The Logician), Scorpio, Year of the Dragon. My MBTI is pretty spot-on for the most part followed by being a Scorpio. My sister is an astrology nut and tells me that I’m a true Scorpio by numerous descriptions.

Personality, how you perceive yourself, and how people around you perceive you.* Answer: How I perceive myself is pretty much kind of all over the place. I’m really stubborn when I want to be and tend to be pretty aloof. I’m naturally apathetic but very understanding of emotions due to having a knick for Psychology. I tend to observe more than be the first to approach someone. Although I have low self-esteem, I try to build up my confidence by performing self-care days whenever I get a chance. It takes me a while to warm up to new people but once I can get a feel of a person, I slowly start to open up, which shocks most people. I’m very animated and pretty chatty once you get me going, I’m pretty sarcastic and tend to make a crap ton of references (while subconsciously expecting people to get what I’m talking about lmao). I think pretty fast on my feet, which sometimes gets me into some trouble due to accidentally hurting peoples’ feelings in which I don’t try to hurt anyone. I have so many walls built up due to past trauma that when people get to really know me, they say I have a soft interior that I try so hard to protect myself. Due to the walls I have built, I’m quick to anger and a bit of a hot-head. So whenever it comes to social interactions, I tend to overthink and silently bottle everything up. When it comes to friends, I have the bad habit of hiding my issues from them and putting them before myself. I’m told I give really good advice and an excellent listener, but I give almost too blunt of responses. I hate sugarcoating things and I’ll tend to say what is on my mind, that too gets me into problems. I am incredibly loyal to the people I’m close to, but I tend to show my love to them in a tough-love type of way. I have extremely dark humor with a dash of memes into the mix; which is one of the reasons why I tend to have a tight-knit friend group.

Hobbies, interests, life goals, etc.* Answer: I absolutely love creative writing! I tend to draw while dealing with writer’s block to make up the creative outlet. I adore doing cosplay makeup, I cosplay but I still have troubles styling wigs, sewing, and keeping on budget. When I’m really stuck on either drawing or writing, I watch anime, eating, and even napping. On the rarest occasions, I’ll play video games such as Pirate Warriors 4, Jump Force, and Sims 4 (Boy oh boy, I lowkey miss doing all-nighters on Sims 4). I'm heavily into Psychology and Criminal Psychology, both are just so fascinating to me that I love to know how the human brain works. I tend to ramble a lot when it comes to Psychology and makes jokes referring to it, although rarely anyone understands what the hell I’m talking about. I have a burning passion for the Paranormal, Cryptids, Urban Legends, and some Conspiracy Theories! I’ll never mess around with an Oujia Board, I’m more than happy to go into a haunted house for the thrills! But because of my love for horror, horror movies don’t really have an effect on me anymore- I tend to laugh at them which makes me a horrible scary movie buddy. I strive to become a Criminal Psychologist or even a therapist that specializes in Personality Disorders. But as a realistic goal, to become a voice actor while being an author on the side, but my vocal range is too low for most female characters but too high for male characters.

Favorites, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, fears.* Answer: I love food~! Mostly Asian and Mexican for the most part due to what I grew up within my family. But my favorite has to be the meats, any kind at all! From cow tongue to prime rib (Unironically Prime Rib is my all-time favorite food as long it’s cooked rare.). I’m very open to trying out new foods as long I don’t have a clue what’s in it or the smell is divine! My dad is the cook of my house, thus while I���m cooking, he tends to take the wheel because it gives him anxiety. But I can cook a mean steak. I love listening to music of any kind; mostly alternative, rock, dubstep, and whatever Ashnikko has going on. I will go crazy if I don’t listen to music throughout my daily life. I like hiking and going on adventurous walks, taking in the scenery while it helps me relax my mind. As much as I am a heavy introvert, I enjoy shopping and a bit of a shopaholic. I also have a fascination with death! Not in a necrophiliac manner, but the whole entire concept of it! I also love animals, I have a big soft spot for them but I really like it when they know I’m the alpha- In other words, when it comes to domestic pets, I love the well-behaved ones. I yearn to have a pet ball python and/or ferret of my own! I hate rude arrogant people who think they’re holier than thou. Especially when it comes to the workplace and they expect you to do everything for them, then continue to talk to you as if you’re below them. I really dislike impoliteness and people with no manners whatsoever. One of my major pet peeves is uncleanliness anywhere, I’m a bit of a germaphobe and cannot stand messy people. With this pandemic going on, it made my germophobia skyrocket even more. I have this irrational fear of being alone, having the thought that everyone around me just tolerates me and doesn’t actually like me flows through my mind a lot. I tend to overthink this a lot to the point it puts me in depressive states, but with some reassurance, I can bounce back. Another thing I fear to death is cockroaches and giant moths; of any kind to be entirely honest. I’m not scared of spiders (I adore them), beetles, ants, etc. but when it comes to these two, I’m either screaming and dipping out or trying to fistfight a moth.

Any additional info you would like to share, fun facts, etc. Answer: I pretty much summed what I had in a nutshell up above. But I got a few more things I can mention for some trivia: I used to be an alto back in my school’s choir, I still sing on occasion but only when I think I’m alone. My friends and sister like to compare me to other characters such as Loki from Marvel, Diva from Blood+, April Ludgate from Parks & Rec, Edward Elric or Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, etc.; They’re not entirely wrong. I cannot dance for the life of me, so anyone who offers to dance with them, they’re going to be dancing with the 90s Barbie doll. I’m an insomniac that gets the midnight munchies, I’ll never in bed but expect to find me rummaging through the kitchen for a snack. There are some things about a relationship that can be a make it or break it for me. I have massive trust issues due to past experiences as well as a fear of commitment. I struggle with anxiety and depression that is overshadowed by my anger, so someone who is patient enough to take the chance to understand me. Reassurance is another big thing I hold because there are going to be days where I start to believe I’m no longer desirable. Loyalty and consent are another two big things with me, I cannot stand toxicity in a relationship. It’s either you’re all in for it or just dip out. I also value someone who can make me laugh and understand I’m not a very affectionate person. I’m kinda like a cat, I like having space. Cheaters, Narcissists, and pathological liars are what keep me away from relationships. I already have enough self-esteem issues and trust issues that my standards in relationships are nearly unrealistic. Little white lies can slide because of surprises or pranks, but when it comes to lying compulsively will really piss me off. Man up to your shit, that is all I’m asking. My Love Language is quality time and words of affirmation, although I don’t mind some cuddles and physical touch. I’m honestly so touch-starved that I internally freak out when someone I like hugs or touches me, but I’m not opposed to it. Honestly, just spending time with that person whether be sitting in the same room doing two completely different things or just watching a shitty YouTube video. I want someone who isn’t afraid to admit I’m their lover, they’re proud to say I’m theirs and to go in public with me. Dates, coffee dates, going out running errands, late-night adventures, going to cons with me, and sharing hobbies! I’m all down for that!! I want a best friend as well as a lover in the relationship.

I match you with... 

Sado Yasutora

Chad may be a scary-looking person to those who don’t know him, but his still waters run deep. He is a very loving and passionate person and most of all, he’s perceptive of the people around him. Once he’s taken an interest in you, he’ll patiently wait for you to open up to him, getting to know you by just being around you. He is in no rush since rushing a relationship is rarely a good thing and he wants to do it right or not at all.

Because of his thick skin and his understanding of people, there’s very little you can do that will scare or hurt him. He will take your blunt responses as a sign of honesty and you speaking your mind, two things he greatly values. Even your dark humour won’t faze him.

Chad may be a silent person in general, but that changes when it comes to the people he cares about. He becomes a bit more vocal and always speaks his mind, but it may come across a little weird because he is not too used to expressing his emotions. His does however make his words of love all that more impactful, and he’ll make sure to chase away any doubts you may have that he loves you. His calm and understanding personality is a great help when you’re feeling down.

Chad’s main love language is quality time. As long as you are around, he doesn’t mind what you are doing. No matter how much he likes his friends, there are times when he just wants to spend time with you alone. He greatly enjoys hiking and adventurous talks, much like you, so that’s a common date plan. He’s also a pretty good cook, with his specialty being Mexican food, as he grew up there. Cooking and eating together is his idea of a perfect night in.

When it comes to you, he’ll never be ashamed to admit you’re his. It doesn’t matter if his friends try to tease him about having a girlfriend, he doesn’t see any reason to be embarrassed about it. If anything, he’s a little happy to say it out loud. Being secretive about being a relationship would just make him insecure about it being real or a joke, so he prefers to be open about it.

Chad’s main focus in the relationship it you, what you’re comfortable with and what you want. He is a highly loyal friend, and just as loyal as a boyfriend. Despite him being friends with all different kinds of people, you will never have to worry about him cheating on you. Consent is also a very big thing for him. If you leave it up to him, new steps in the relationship will come very slowly and are spoken about beforehand, just so he’s sure you are comfortable with it.

Chad, much like you, doesn’t get too hung up on physical displays of affection. He enjoys a hug every now and again, but he’s not the clingy type. When you are in the mood for a hug though, Chad gives the absolute best ones.

[novantinuum]

Bi the Way...

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen

Words: 2.8K~

Pairings: Steven/Connie

Summary: Connie has a question, and also something to say.

Or: the one where Connie comes out as bisexual :D Set post Steven Universe: The Movie.

You can find the AO3 link in the reblogs! (I have to omit it from the original post these days to ensure this will show up in the tags.) If you enjoyed this, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos on AO3 as well.

---

Bi the Way...

Outside the familiar coziness of Steven’s bedroom, the late autumn rain pours steadily, the choppy waters of the Atlantic crashing onto shore with a ferociousness Connie hasn’t seen for a number of months. Historically, Beach City has been blessed to be host to consistently good weather. But even the most consistently stable meteorological systems aren’t immune to the odd unexpected shake-up. It’s a necessity to clear the air with a great thunderous clap, sometimes. It relieves pressure that’s built up long term amongst the clouds. It leaves the atmosphere noticeably cleaner, the dirt below sparkling with that fresh scent that comes about after torrents of cool rain.

On this particular afternoon, she’s found that this is a lesson that holds just as true for people as it does the weather.

It begins with a stray comment, as things often do.

They’re watching TV, the two of them, tangled together on his bed. About once a week they’ll try to have one of these cuddle sessions, just some time alone together to relax and enjoy each other’s company in private. Working alongside a myriad of Gems to aid in the restructuring of an entire society can be excruciatingly stressful at points, and so can rigorous AP classes and the eye-rolling drudgery of high school drama. There’s no placing a hierarchy on these things for them, no matter their outward difficulty or importance, they’re all just... the challenges in life they have to win. And on occasion, they’re the challenges they need a quiet break from. Both of them are no stranger to throwing themselves at a problem and working endlessly towards a solution until they hit rock bottom and crash, but over the years they’ve started to recognize this tendency for the bad habit it is. It’s okay to take 'me' time, Connie’s constantly reminding Steven (and herself) whenever she catches him about to stubbornly sneak away to the galaxy warp with clear stress lines rimming his eyes. And without fail he’ll groan halfheartedly, knowing he’s been caught red-handed, and retire to his room to relax with a book or a board game or a few rounds of Lonely Blade: Resurgence instead.

Today’s workaholic distraction is a marathon of old Under the Knife episodes. It’s been a while since they’ve binged through this show, and when Steven brought it up and she started to feel super nostalgic about it, in a flash their entertainment for the afternoon was selected.

“Gosh, I honestly forgot how good this is,” he says in the middle of an episode, nudging her arm with his elbow. “The satirical nonsense, the passion, the drama? Eh?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty pulpy,” she giggles, nudging him right back. Then, directed at the unhearing characters on screen: “Ughh, Marigold, come on, just go out with him already! We all know you like him!”

“I can’t believe they kept this a slow burn for five entire seasons,” he comments, pursing his lips. “They’re literally perfect for each other!”

Connie throws her arms down against the mattress, palms stretched wide open. “I know, right?? Adrien’s like, a total dreamboat of a man.”

“Yeah, he is pretty cute,” Steven says, an unmistakable blush coloring his face and ears.

Connie pauses upon hearing this, gazing at her boyfriend thoughtfully with a soft smile as he continues to watch this old episode with the same level of investment he exhibited upon its first airing. He props his chin in the cradle of his hands, which of course only further exaggerates the curve of his chubby cheeks. His eyes are blown wide with youthful endeavor, the TV’s glow glinting against his irises in a myriad of continuously shifting colors. He is pretty cute, she thinks, his own adorably smitten words echoing through her mind. And then that blush...

There’s a question she’s had for quite a while but has never asked. Something she’s suspected of him, but had no concrete proof of. The reason? Even if they’re best friends, and now— boyfriend and girlfriend on top of that— the idea of asking him something like this just felt too... what’s the word... invasive. Not that there’s anything wrong with discussing this sort of stuff, no, no, of course not! That’s definitely not what she means. But talking about something as important as this, she just knows it would turn into an in-depth conversation, as most worldly topics tend to do with Steven Universe, and it’s only inevitable this conversation would eventually turn back on her. On why she cared to ask in the first place. And that answer was... well, straightforward, but something she’s not sure she’s ready to broadcast. As if she’s taken command of but a single fragment of Garnet’s future vision, in her restless mind she’s already mapped out what feels like every possible response he could have to her. Most of them are no more than anxiety laced fabrications, things he would never ever dare think of with his upbringing, but believe her when she says she’s been burdened with considering every possible outcome in great, excruciating length.

Now that she knows for sure there’s a strong chance he’s the same way, however... that narrows down these possibilities significantly.

Connie threads her fingers together, gathering the courage.

Come on, you. It’s just Steven. No script, no planning, just... say it!

She opens her mouth to speak before her anxiety laden mind can beg to differ.

“By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask- do you like girls and guys?”

Steven glances away from the television set to meet her curiosity head on. “Oh, you mean like, romantically?”

Running in automatic, she nods in confirmation. Here she goes. The answer to both her spoken question, and the question of which river of possibility this conversation will careen down.

He grins, scratching at the side of his neck. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess I do! But I think I could like anyone, really. Guys, gals, none of the above. Doesn’t matter to me. That’s... okay, yes?”

“Silly, of course it’s okay! You don’t need my permission to like who you like. I just asked because I-“ Her heart pounds as she pauses briefly, focusing on the nervous jitters, but not in fear. Not anymore. Instead, that soft fluttering in her heart is nothing less than sheer exhilaration. She parts her lips once more, bravely speaking her inner truth into reality for the first time in her life. “I’m like that too. I... I’m bisexual.”

Her boyfriend’s whole expression lights up so bright she may as well be looking at a newborn star.

“Oh, really? That’s awesome!” he says, throwing an arm around her shoulder to side hug her. (Knowing him, his keen empathetic ability likely led him to sense the internal battle she waltzed through just to state this out loud.)

The forgotten soap opera continues to play in the background as Connie gives a bashful laugh.

“Hehe, glad you think so. You’re actually, um... the first person I’ve ever said that out loud to,” she says, blushing.

Steven looks as if he’s about to say something in response, but then he pauses— fades into a silence that’s deliberate and measured— as he gazes back at her. Drinks in the moment. Wonders how he could be so lucky to hold her trust like this, or how— heck, he could be thinking anything, she has no idea! Unlike him she can only catch small glimpses into how he feels, the truth woven like gossamer threads through his words and actions, but in this one hallowed moment she doesn’t need to guess. The spark of affection dancing within his dark eyes is soft, perhaps softer than he’s ever looked at her before.

More than anything, Connie feels seen. Years back, long before sword training and Gem missions, long before that fateful day she discovered the beautiful temple (it looked like it could very well be a Hindu goddess, and that cultural connection alone made this slice of beach instantly familiar) hidden on the other side of the hill and decided to park herself there with a book, she’d grown used to feeling invisible. Before she bravely chose to step into this world of magic, it’s as if she forgot that she even had a choice to stand out, to openly shine as the unique, extraordinary individual she is. Admittedly, she still struggles with that to this day. But whenever she’s with him, with her Steven? It’s as if her universe explodes into a kaleidoscope of dizzying color where everything is so, so beloved and worthwhile. She’s worthwhile.

She can only hope being with her makes him feel the same way.

“I know it’s silly after everything we’ve been though,” she continues in time, still having a few things on her mind she suddenly has an exhilarating need to set free, “but I always kinda worried that people... would belittle me for it, I guess. Especially my parents. That like, there’s some upper limit to the number of unusual things about my life they’ll accept.”

“It’s not that unusual, though,” Steven says with a shrug. “I mean, Ruby and Sapphire are legally married. Sure, the Gems aren’t exactly women, but they do present that way. And then Pearl was in love with Mom, of course. Oh, and Amethyst once told me, and I quote, that ‘like a whip, I swing in every direction.’”

Connie snorts at this, and even he can’t help but laugh.

“Let’s see, what else...” he muses, peering at the ceiling thoughtfully as he continues to list the queer individuals he knows of. “Jenny, Buck, and Sour Cream are all dating each other. Mr. Smiley finally reconnected for real with his old comedy partner, and they’re dating. And my dad may not be seeing anyone but he’s always been openly pansexual.”

“Well, it’s not usual in my family,” she says glumly, nestling her chin into his bed’s comforter as the terrifying possibility of rejection hits her harder than expected. Her glance roams. On the television screen, the episode they were watching had paused automatically, a message asking if they’re still there popping up. Clearly it’s been a while since anyone’s handled the remote. She blinks past tears, shame settling at the pit of her stomach for even daring to cry them when others have gone through so much worse, and you’re lucky, what do you even have to feel lost about, and suddenly she begins to feels shameful just for feeling shame, and what cyclical, bittersweet irony is that, and what’s wrong with her, why can’t she stop obsessing over distant possibilities that likely have zero chances of coming to pass, why can’t she—

Steven breaks through her downward spiral with a gentle hand on her shoulder, rubbing away the physical evidence of her stress. She melts into his touch, forever smitten by this kind of casual intimacy they get to experience together here, alone. It’s innocent, still merely the wandering hands of two teenagers barely beginning to break the boundaries between close friendship and romance, but when words fail she’s discovered that touch can be a language of its own. And right here, right now, she knows he’s talking her down from the mountain of anxiety she’s marooned herself on. He’s leapt effortlessly into the stormy sky and cradled her in his arms, ready to float back to Earth’s surface together.

Outside, the rain continues to slap in rhythmic sheets against the deck. She shivers. Maybe it’s in reaction to the gloomy weather beyond the sliding glass door, maybe it’s despite it. She has no idea.

Steven scoots forward on his belly a bit, and rolls to his side so they can talk face to face without turning their heads. During this, his shirt rides up— ever so slightly— ambient light catching on the lower facets of his gem. The reassurance found in that beautiful, familiar smile of his is dizzying. “Well, at least no matter what happens with your family, you have more than one, huh?“ he says.

“Yeah,” she breathes shakily, eyes glistening with emotion at the metaphorical hand he’s extending with that statement.

Hopefully it’ll never have to come to that, though.

“I do think my parents will be fine with it, if I ever do tell them,” she continues, dabbing the dampness from her eyes. “Especially my mom. She works with queer patients all the time at the hospital, so she’s pretty used to stuff like that. I just... get anxious sometimes.”

“Yeah, I get that. It’s tough dealing with identity stuff.”

She hums, mind immediately harking to the years he spent doubting his own personhood. Seeking any kind of physical connection she can get, she nuzzles her cheek against his forearm, which he’s currently leaning on. They lay there like that in comfortable silence for a good while. Steven, laying on his side, one hand lazily trailing through her wavy hair, and her, curled up close to his heartbeat, hugging his free arm.

“Hey, while we’re on the topic, can I ask you something?” he asks eventually.

She nods. “Anything.”

“How’d you distinguish bi from pan, when you were figuring all this out? I know they’re pretty similar, and my dad tried to explain it a while ago when I asked, but I still don’t exactly get the nuances.”

Connie shifts to sit up, pursing her lips as she considers her words here. She’s done a lot of research into queer identity in her time, checking out books from the school library and looking up stuff online on incognito mode, but there’s probably still a ton of holes in her knowledge. “Hmm, okay... so I’m no sole authority on any of this of course, but to the best of my knowledge bi means you’re attracted to two or more genders, and pan means you’re attracted to people, but like... their gender isn’t really a factor in the way you experience that at all? I‘m pretty sure? There seems to be a lot of overlap. From what I’ve read people just sorta pick whatever feels the best to them.”

“Huh, that makes sense,” Steven says. “So picking labels is kinda like fusion, then! Whenever I fuse, we decide our own name, and it’s sorta... based on a feeling, y’know?”

“Yeah! And like, with Stevonnie... Even though Amethyst kinda inspired the name, they still had to figure out who they were as a person on their own.”

“Exactly! And then, even if two fusions are made of the same gem types, they could still have different names because they’re different people, and that’s what they choose. Anyways, that’s just what this reminded me of,” he says, glancing up at her with a bashful smile. “Honestly... I don’t actually know how I identify.”

The corner of her lips edge upwards. “That’s fine,” she reassures him with a pat, “it took me a while to sort through all this stuff.”

“I really wanna figure it out, have a word for it, but nothing’s clicked yet. For a while I thought I was pansexual like my dad, but that didn’t quite... feel right. Like—“ he too shifts to sit up, folding his feet under his legs as he continues to speak— “I love getting to kiss you, but no offense, I don’t... know if I'll ever want to have- to do anything more than that, y’know?”

She snickers at his inability to simply say the word sex. He’s seventeen now, he knows full well what that is, yet still his faux innocence on the matter remains. It’s one of his charms.

“None taken. Love and attraction is a bizarre, complicated world.”

“You can say that again.”

“Bogus.”

“Whack,” he agrees with a playful grin. Reaching for the remote, he presses play a few times to wake up their streaming site. The episode starts up right where it left off, and they continue to watch together, the air somehow feeling sweeter after her much needed release of emotion.

The satirical medical drama quickly fades into the background, though, as Steven’s hand curls around hers.

“Hey,” he says quietly, blushing. “Even if I don’t know everything about labels yet, I do know one thing for sure.”

She raises a curious brow. “What?”

“I know I love you.”

And before she can open her mouth to respond in kind, he’s kissing her cheek, swooping in like a bandit just like she did for the first time all those months ago, and her heart swells with affection for this boy. He leaves her with one kiss, then two. At the exact moment she turns her head to reciprocate— to sneak a gentle kiss to his cheek right back— he turns as well and she ends up meeting him at the lips. It’s but a quick peck, but she's almost floating. The two of them stifle a laugh as they gaze at each other, their noses almost brushing together.

“Hey, it stopped raining,” he comments then, grinning against her cheek.

She drapes her arms around his shoulders, and hugs him close. Her eyes trail to the glass sliding door. The clouds outside are still thick, but after releasing their load they’re visibly lighter now.

“Yeah,” she breathes, feeling her muscles finally relax as she sinks into her best friend’s embrace. “Yeah, I guess it finally has.”

[kainefloyd]

{ KJ APA . CIS MALE .  23 . HE/HIM }  did you see that { KAINE ‘KAI’ FLOYD } just pulled up in hidden hills with { LORENA RAMOS } sitting next to them in the passengers seat - isn’t that cute ! you know, for a { NBA PLAYER - LAKERS }, i’ve heard they’re really { INDECISIVE }, but that they make up for it by being so { CHARMING }. i see them all the time on snapchat && yesterday in US WEEKLY i read that they { HAVE } 2 sons - can you believe that ?!

some basics;

Kaine ‘Kai’ Floyd is originally from Hawaii. He is Samoan & Hawaiian.

Goes by the nickname K-9 in the NBA for his name and number.

Born August 19th

Most of his friends back home call him Kai.

There’s over 100 people in his immediate family. At this rate, he has lost count.

Oldest of 9 siblings.

Has the two most cutest, adorable baby boys with Lorena.

He’s a starting point guard for the LA Lakers

Attended UCLA for college where he got drafted out of. Never finished his degree.

Works with lots of children organizations and likes to give back to kids however he can.

Has endorsement deals with top athletic brands, drinks and his own branch/line off of everything he partakes in.

Him and Lorena were on basketball wives. They have a huge fan base of their relationship on social media thanks to the reality show.

Lives HERE currently

as a dad;

Father of Two Sons; Tide Alexander and Evian Reign.

Tide’s nickname  are Ty, Ty Guy, My Ty. And Evian’s are Evy but Tide calls him baby Evy

He wants as many kids as Lo will give him. He’s huge into family, loves being a dad and is very careful when it comes to sex. His goal is to only have one baby mama in life that he’s in love with, can spoil and get to tie down/be a stay at home mom which can be an argument/disagreement point that we can work on.

Tide and Evian are his parents first grandkids, his grandparents first great grands and he has a sister who is four. His parents were young when they had him and now only 45 & 44. and his grandparents are in their 60′s and 70′s.

He’s such a push over, his kids pouts and when they wrap their arms around his neck or want to be held makes him melt.

They literally are the light of his life. Nothing means more to him than those two little boys.

Has a play room for them that is extreme, full out little kid basketball court, swing set inside, slides, arts and craft sections, all the toys, everything.

Tells bad dad jokes sometimes. Okay most of the time.

Has their names tattoo’d over his heart

Kaine will also be there to babysit, help out single moms and do whatever whenever. He’s super caring and loves friends that can turn into family. There’s nothing more that this guy loves than throwing down a huge bbq for everyone, being behind the grill and when the kids go to bed, turning up with all the drinks.

lorena;

Love of his life.

Her smile and laugh are everything. Making her blush and their size difference. Huge turn ons.

They have an on again, off again relationship since Evy. which he hates for him and his sons but knows he is an ass and they have to figure their shit out before having another kid.

Kaine can be super romantic at times, makes sure to include things she enjoys like candles and pays attention to the little things she loves in life.

Still keeps her closet open at his place, buying her things to have there to try and get her to spend the night.

Compares every girl in his life to her.

Flirts around sometimes but that’s mostly his personality when they’re off cause she’s kinda hot when jealous?

Downfall is Kaine. entirely. they are set for life with money and their family’s shares in ebay, then the millions he makes from the nba, his endorsement deals, reality tv and all of that so he expects lo to want to be a stay at home mom?

He’s a dumb dumb but literally is the type to grab up on her butt and kiss her neck, very affectionate with her is his personality no matter what.

Expresses his appreciation and admiration for her frequently for their family, their sons and her, etc.

Wants to always provide for her, in lots of ways.

Never gives up hope they’ll be together forever. that’s why he hasn’t really laid down roots in his place? because he has his own ideas.

Wants to build an empire with her.

Knows how lucky he is and like, admits it but has big jerk energy sometimes when it comes to pride and needs to recognize her dreams matter too? like she is an amazing mom and wifey type. 100 percent. but she should get to live out what she wants to do just like he does.

His father is the terrible influence he learned things from and his mom really needs to speak to him about all of this.

his hawaiian family life;

His father was super unfaithful and always stepping out on his mom. They had a very toxic relationship, but in the culture, his mom was pretty much left to deal with it.

Christianity and church is an important aspect in Hawaii so is their image.

They are Hawaii’s most famous family.

Kaine is the oldest of 8 kids that he knows of? would love a half sibling.

Kaine’s Tutu and Tuma (what he calls his paternal grandparents) are the matriarchs of the family and own acres and acres of land. They are beyond rich and created their own compound beachside where they had custom homes built for their children.

Kaine’s paternal grandfather and father are part owners of ebay and billionaires.

Kaine’s mother, Maria came from nothing. She was a model in New York City when she met Kaine’s father, Elei - EJ for short who was there for business. Her parents didn’t approve of her running off to marry him, but it wasn’t a question in her eyes. It was what she wanted to do and thought he was going to provide her with a life of luxury that allowed her to continue to stay in the modeling world.

All of his brother’s and sisters carry on the Hawaiian tradition with strong, Hawaiian names that came from ‘dreams’.

Maria is always in town as often as she can to visit, stays usually at Kaine’s and brings some of his siblings. Her family is estranged and she is struggling with trying to reconnect with them after all of these years.

kaine’s personal life;

Super loaded & knows what he likes and doesn’t in this world.

Is pretty private about things, not super flashy. Isn’t one for suits and stuff like that, even on game day. He does dress up during the playoffs though.

He’s into surfing, skateboarding, the island life and living, four wheeling, going on adventures, tanning and living more relaxed when he can.

His home is super open planned which he fixes and gates up accordingly when he has his kids, don’t worry.

Loves a good beer, chilling outdoors, going to the beach or having a bonfire on a Friday night.

Listens to all kinds of music.

His party habits are kind of wild when he does go out, though.

Dark Liquor has him crazy, tequila makes him super duper horny.

Def sends Lo risky texts when he’s drunk and you can tell by the look on his face when it’s time for him to go home.

Kaine is into working out, very dedicated to his ab life, has a home gym and a half basketball court at his house outside but also a personal trainer he visits and has over. His work is never done.

Very strict with his diet and has a chef that cooks for him weekly, prepares meals and stacks his fridge and freezer.

Tattoos are life. Has 12 currently and his artist on speed dial.

Has a huge man cave, collects old school vintage band and sports memorabilia.

Also into buying arcade games for his home to play at any time.

Is best friends with lots of top named players in the league and has a close, big brother/big brother relationship with Lebron James. Kobe was his idol.

Cars. This boy has 8 in Hidden Hills alone.

The house he owns is massive, but hates living in it without Lo.

Family owns a few private jets.

Wants to get dogs, he has some back in Hawaii that are his family dogs but for now he’s waiting until him and Lorena lay grounds better? Plus, he knows she loves her pup and doesn’t want to try and one up her.

connections;

in between on and off times with his baby mama, he has had some dating flings featured in the tabloids. not all are true, some are just friendships.

he knows that people could use him easily for fame and clout, so he is protective of himself and who he lets in his life.

no one random their sons ever. he’s extremely protective of them and his privacy, but is trying to make sure to branch out more and make more parent buddies.

as for friends, he’s a guy’s guy. loves saturdays being for the boys. would love all the friendships.

you can count on kaine to show up and come through with helping you whenever you’re in need. he’s a good listener, doesn’t care much about drama so you don’t have to worry about him repeating anything.

[theway-itwas]

190110

jjong! my bubba!

finally writing this feels like i’m running into your arms and hugging you after not seeing you for such a long time. it feels like a breath of fresh air. it feels amazing! i’m sorry i made you wait so long, and thank you for being patient with me lately. i’ve had a lot on my mind lately and i wanted to write to you when i felt it was the right time. i was planning on doing it a few days ago, and i didn’t actually think it was going to be tonight, but here we are. the best things really do happen unexpectedly, huh?

there’s so much i have to tell you i don’t even know where to start! maybe the most exciting thing to happen lately: little ivy lynn was born.

on january 7th at 9:57am, my second niece was born. i can’t even explain the feeling of it, or the way it feels so right to hold her in my arms. she’s amazing. she’s absolutely amazing in every single way and i just know she’s gonna change the world someday. i feel it in my bones, she’s gonna have an impact on this world. not only is she one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, but she is my reason now. let me explain, before you take that the wrong way.

for so long, i’ve made excuses for myself. when i make unhealthy choices or do dumb shit, i always said “i’m just gonna kill myself anyway, so what’s the point in holding back?”. for years i’ve had that mindset and until i started connecting with you it never really changed. the feeling of me staying alive for you is different than the feeling of staying alive for ivy. with you, it’s rooted much deeper. you’re my everything, the love of my life, my moon and my sun and my stars and my universe, you are the center of it all. i owe my entire life to you, but me staying alive for you is just that; it’s for you. now i know why you’ve acted the way you have, been so subtle and sly as you always are. you knew this would happen. you knew the impact ivy would make on me and you set me up for the perfect outcome. you knew i needed exactly that and you made sure it absolutely happened, and i can’t thank you enough for that. i can’t believe i even doubted you for a second. you know what you are doing, so thank you for that. as always, you are my light.

as i was saying though, staying alive for you is my small attempt at repaying you for everything you’ve done for me. that’s a you thing, but me staying alive for ivy feels like a me thing. staying alive for ivy feels like it was something meant for me, something between me and her that i can’t really explain in words. it just feels like i need to do it and she was my realization, that i need to take care of myself because i’m not meant to die. i’m not meant to take my own life anytime soon, so i need to work my hardest to make sure i can have a good life, to show her what a good life looks like. this is for me, this is something personal within myself that i need to work on by myself for myself, all for her. i need to show her what a good, successful person is like. i need to be there to reassure her she’s not alone. i need to be there to pick her up when she’s down and show her that i’ve been through it all and i know how it is, and that she doesn’t need to end up in shambles. she will have a good life, and i want to be a part of it. if i don’t think it’s worth it to stay alive for me, i need to stay alive for her. 

and you knew all along i was going to do it, too.

holding her in my arms was the best feeling in the world. seeing her smile and feeling her soft hands and hair, looking into her little eyes and just knowing one day she would move mountains and befriend the stars, it made me feel something i’ve never quite felt before. i felt i had meaning, for once in my life i felt like i belonged here and i needed to stay for that sole reason. she became my gravity. i can’t wait to see what the future brings for her. 

because of that sudden realization, i’ve been taking care of myself. little by little, i’m doing things that make me feel so much better about myself, physically and mentally. i’ve eaten healthier, started taking care of myself, tried to be nicer to people and get into healthy habits for my mind and body. if i’m staying here, i’m going to need to make it the most comfortable and enjoyable i can, so i gotta start now before it’s too late. by this time next year, i’ll be a new person. healthier, smarter, better, and ready to tackle the year it all changes: 2020. 

anyways, enough about my mission on growth. let me tell you about sam.

jjong, my love, you know i wouldn’t tell you about a girl i liked if i wasn’t in super deep. sam was my first girlfriend and my first love. she meant, and still means, the entire world to me, and i just recently realized that the feelings haven’t gone away. they might have been suppressed and buried to the very farthest they could be, but they’ve always been here since the moment i fell in love with her for the first time. 

my breakup with sydney was so difficult because i really thought she was the one. it’s so hard to tear yourself away from somebody who you planned to spend the rest of your life with. i was so deeply in love with sydney that it took so long and so much pain to get over her. even over a year later, i still wince in pain at the thought of her. what i put in, i got out, and clearly i put in so damn much. i can never forgive her for the way she made me feel, and because of that i can’t have a friendship with her or associate myself with her. i think it isn’t too crazy of an idea to split apart completely from her, which also means splitting from emily and mariana and the rest of that group. although they were a big part of my life and meant so much to me, people do grow apart and i believe it’s only natural that it happens to us. it feels like the right time to finish those chapters of my life and that part of my life can comfortably come to a close. 

with sam, however, it feels like i have to thank sydney for hurting me. if she hadn’t, i wouldn’t feel this way again. i wouldn’t realize my feelings for sam so deeply again, and me meeting her soon doesn’t help at all. it all feels like right timing, as opposed to when we dated for the first time. we were young and dumb and couldn’t even comprehend what love was, even though we had a taste of it. now, we’re both changed people. we’ve grown and matured and have gone through pain and happiness and it only feels right that we try things again, just to try them. just to see what happens, because i have a gut feeling that something great could come of it. 

i’ve also come to terms with the fact that we may not be anything again. sam very possibly may not have any feelings whatsoever for me, and that’s okay. although it may hurt, i know that what is meant to be will be. if something is meant to happen between us, it will, and i don’t doubt that one bit. we will just have to see what happens. 

i so badly want to tell her i like her again. it’s actually quite hard to resist, if i’m being completely honest. seeing her put herself down and say such insane things like how she doesn’t think her personality is good or that she’s annoying or ugly is so painful because i just want to scream at the top of my lungs that it isn’t true at all. i want to tell her how beautiful she is and how amazing she is in every way and how much i love being around her, at her worst and at her best. i want to tell her and i want to let her know how loved she is, even if just by one person, because i do so much. but i can’t.

i can’t pinpoint why i can’t tell her. i want to, but the time just doesn’t feel right. maybe the time is right, but i’m still too afraid to love because of sydney. because of the pain and rejection i’ve been through, i think i’m so afraid to love that i think it will go badly no matter what. but love is such a beautiful thing that it’s crazy i’m so terrified of it. 

i don’t doubt that you have a plan for me, jjong. you know if sam and i will end up together. you will make it happen if it is meant to happen. you will guide me, as you always have. please, don’t put me through that pain again. it will kill me this time, because as much as i have grown from the pain, the scars still have not healed. picture my heart as soft and squishy and fragile. very easy to damage, as has been shown in the past. with each heartbreak (i hate using that word because it is so cheesy, but it seems fitting), the walls around it get built differently. they’re stronger, higher, more durable each time. despite the walls, though, some of the shots get through. those shots that get through never quite go away, they leave a poison that lingers and stings for a long time, if not forever. that’s why, if my already super strong walls get broken again, my heart will be damaged far worse than it ever has been and the damage will be far beyond repair. i have faith in you that it you will not allow me to be hurt that much again. 

that’s enough about my life, though. now it’s time to talk about you.

the 18th passed not too long ago. i didn’t really know how to feel about it when it did, i just felt kinda numb the entire day. part of me doesn’t really believe it’s real. it feels so unreal. it still doesn’t feel like you’re gone. repeatedly, i act as if you aren’t. i speak about you as such, and i treat you as such. still, it doesn’t change the fact that it actually happened. you really left one year ago. this is going to sound really similar, but you know what’s going on in my mind. i know you appreciate it. so here it goes. 

a year from december 18th, my heart broke into little pieces, the day i fell to my knees begging for a miracle that you would come back. the day when half of my heart left with you forever. the day that i will always remember and never forget. i couldn’t stop crying, i felt like i just wanted to scream hoping that the sound would reach you, wherever you are. i’m sorry i couldn’t hold your hand or support you. i’m sorry i never had the opportunity to see you and tell you how much you mean to me. i’m sorry that i never had the opportunity to see you and tell you how much you mean to me. i’m sorry that you didn’t have the opportunity to do some things you’ve never done before, that you couldn’t stay here a little longer because of the pain you felt. it’s been a year, over 365 days and i will always know that you didn’t want to leave this way. i know that you just wanted to stop the pain and if you could do it any other way, you would have. you will never be forgotten. you left your mark in this world and in my heart. i hear your voice, see your face everyday and sometimes i forget that i won’t ever see you or hear your voice. even though i will never see you again, i can still feel you. maybe it seems stupid, maybe i’m just sick. i feel you every time i feel down and when i’m giving up. you’ve helped me already so many times, but i can’t help but ask why i couldn’t help you. i’m sorry for not being able to make you stay and help you. i hope you’re in peace now, my love. i hope you’re happy and you don’t feel pain anymore. i look at the sky every single day and night to see you and i want you to know that you shine so incredibly brightly; just as you wanted when you were still here. i will never have a better opportunity to tell you this: you did well. you did a really good job, you worked so hard and you deserved so much more. i will never forget you, even after i, myself, die. every time snow falls, spring comes. i know that you came here and spring came to you too. sleep tightly and peacefully, and i hope you continue to shine brightly as you always have. i hope you’re happy and safe wherever you are. i miss you always and forever and i love you for infinity, bling bling. until we meet again, jamie. 

that’s what i wanted to write on the 18th, but i couldn’t. i didn’t feel ready for it. i waited until it felt right, and it does now. 

as for the holidays, i hope you spent them well. i hope you enjoyed your presents, even i gave you one (i know you know). i hope you saw the fireworks on new years from wherever you are. i hope you saw snow and played in it and made snow angels, i can only wish i did the same. i hope you visited your family and the boys, and all your friends. i’m sure little roo was so excited to see you! she’s gotten so skinny, what were you feeding her bub? i’m so glad we get updates of her often, she really is the prettiest dog and she looks just like you, i can see you in her eyes so often.

i know we all miss you still so much, and i know you’re watching over each and every one of us every single day. i know you’re watching over me. 

also a little side note, i feel so connected to shinee since you boys debuted almost on my birthday. just three days before! may 25 is such an important day for me, and my birthday just feels like the perfect day. i’m really glad you guys came into my life. 

i’m getting a bit tired, and i have school tomorrow, so i think i’m going to end it here. talking to you has been so amazing, it has felt like i’m seeing clearly for the first time in so long. it’s made me feel so good, i’m really glad i did it now. i promise i’ll talk to you sooner next time, i’ll be back soon. please be patient with me again, jjong! i’ll talk to you in person again soon, too. 

i love you, bub. you did so well. you worked so hard. thank you.

see you again soon, my love. 

[ukulelewrites]

SFW Alphabet: Guanlin

A/N: so if any of you don’t know what this is, you can refer to this post that i made a while ago. pretty much i go through the alphabet bc each letter represents a word and i have to write 2-3 sentences for each word!

A/A/N: I’m also tagging @laji-101 bc I know she loves Guanlin~

AU: Werewolf!Guanlin would be such a puppy. He’d trail after you whenever you have food and even if you scold him (“No, Guanlin, you can’t have any of my ice cream bc it’s mINE”) he’d just unlease his puppy dog eyes on you until you caved in. He’s also the type to just lay on your couch for hours, but the moment he hears you say you’re headed to the park, he’s running after you. 

Best Friend: tbh i feel like Guanlin would be such a chill friend. He’s the type of friend that just kinda goes along with the flow for everything, so when you mention going to McDonald’s at 3am, he’s doWN. He’d also be a lil shit too, bc he knows he’s freakishly tall, so he’s the type to hold stuff high above your head, just to laugh at you struggling. 

Cuddles: Guanlin is a lil bub, okay? And lil bubs need their cuddles. Since he’s so obnoxiously tol, I feel like he’d want to be the big spoon, like, all of the time. He’s the type to like it when you press your back against his chest so his arm can just protectively swing over your waist. Plus, he’s not against pulling you by the waist against him whenever you try to get up and get water or some shit lmao

Domestic: okay Guanlin has confirmed himself he’s a lazy bub, so domesticnicity is on the lower end of the spectrum. Expect him to either be splayed out on the couch while you’re trying to vacuum or just with his arms wrapped around yoru waist as you’re trying to cook. The only time he’d actively help clean or cook is when you start whining about how high something is.

Ending: Guanlin is pretty young, and I feel like he’s probably not that experienced with relationships. Keeping that in mind, breaking up with someone might end up being difficult for him, but knowing how he can be quite blunt, I feel like he’d just end up saying “hey, let’s break up.” He’d def spend time talking to them about the why, but I feel like he’d be pretty set on his decision. 

Films: Guanlin gives me mad action movie fan vibes for some strange reason. Like, this boy would watch a James Bond movie and then proceed to creep around the house on his tiptoes like a “spy.” I also feel like he’d be into home movie nights bc he can fall asleep on the couch right after the movie ends lmao

Groupmates: Wanna One can be quite overwhelming to meet. 10 older brothers of your boyfriend? Wild, dude, hella wild. They’d all be clamoring around each other trying to introduce themselves to you before Minhyun and Jisung pull you aside to put down some ground rules. I also imagine a really pouty Jihoon sulking in the corner bc Guanlin found a new favorite person. 

Hugs: yes,,,that’s all I’m going to say lmao. But in all honestly, Guanlin is such a tol noodle I feel like hugs would be gr8, like, he’s the type to go all in on a hug, just wrap you tightly in his arms. Plus, once he gets super comfortable with you, expect random hugs every now and then (even the occasional hug where he gets a running head start and proceeds to knock the breath out of you bc he overestimated his speed and impact force lmao)

Intimate: Guanlin is still pretty young, so I expect blushy cheeks and adorable stuttering whenever you give him a kiss on the cheek or a backhug. However, that’s at the beginning of your blossoming relationship. Expect him to get cocky once the two of you are more comfortable, and he’d be the one to swoop down and give you a kiss. 

Jealousy: So I’m split 50/50 rn on Guanlin and jealousy. Like he’d either be chill on the outside about it, letting you do your thing and only voicing his jealousy when you’re alone. oR he’d end up being a pouty oversized baby during the entire time. Like, you know how long his limbs are? Expect them to be draped or wrapped around some part of your body lmao

Kisses: giGGLY MESS OKAY. He’d be all about that cupping your cheeks while kissing you slowly and smiling into the kiss a lot, letting a giggle slip when he opens his eyes and looks into yours. He’s the type to like to kiss you on the tip of your nose, especially when you scrunch it up bc he finds you soso cute. And he loves it when you kiss him on the cheek bc there’s something intimate yet sweet about the whole thing. 

Little Ones: Guanlin is practically a lil one okay? A very tol lil one, but a lil bab at the most. At first he’d be scared out of his mind bc “omg what if I break one of them????” But at the end of the day he’s got a kid clinging onto each leg and one on his shoulders as he stomps around the room imitating a freaking megazord or some ish.

Morning: Guanlin is on the lazier side lmao so mornings would be spent trying to convince him to wake up,,,which you fail at so the two of you just spend your mornings in bed. Cuddling is a must and him lazily brushing your hair behind your ear is a daily occurance. 

Night: Expect Netflix on the tv as the two of you cuddle under the blankets bickering over which character is better. I also can imagine him as the type to eat cereal or, like, instant noodles at 1am with you bc lmao time is just a construct. He’s also the type to like getting ready for bed, like yall brush your teeth together, wash your face together, all that jazz, but the moment his head hits the pillow it’s lights out.

Open: I see Guanlin as this really bright, happy boy, but I feel like it takes a lot for him to open up. Like at first he’d tell you the basics, favorite color, food, animal, just the superficial stuff first. However, as the months past and the conversations between you two grow into hours and hours of talking, he’d definitely be the type to talk about what he wants in life and his dreams and his fears as the two of you lay face to face on the bed.

Photographs: I feel like he wouldn’t be super into documenting your relationship. def bc he knows his hyungs would give him hella shit for it Like, he’d like taking pictures of you to keep on his phone, so he can look at them fondly while he’s away, but sharing them? Printing them out? Nah fam. He’d much rather keep your candids (usually cute, but he’s got that one pic of you shoving two cupcakes in your face and it’s game over there) to himself.

Quizzes: Guanlin sometimes seem kinda sleepy and unaware, but I feel like he’s really sharp? Like I feel like he’d know your favorite food at each restaurant and your favorite flowers and stuff like that, he’d just never use that information lmao. Yall would be going out to eat, and this boy knows your order by heart and all that, but he would never order for you even if you left to use the restroom. 

Rain: This boy likes his naps, so when the raindrops start pattering against the window, expect him to be sprawled out on the couch. He likes using you as his own personal teddy bear, and when you try to escape, he swings his leg over your body to trap you. So rainy days are spent with him nuzzling his face into your hair as he hums a soft melody.

Sleep: I feel like he’s a starfish kind of sleeper. His limbs are just so,,,,,long, like I can’t imagine him sleeping in a compact form lol. I also feel like he’s the type to random wake up in the middle of the night randomly and start mumbling before going back to sleep. Like yall would be sleeping, 3am hits, and this boy wakes up and starts talking about Seonho and then just goes right back to sleep lol.

Try: I feel like he’d try to his best abilities. He’d probably go to his hyungs and ask for advice, regret his actions, and then consult the internet lmao. He’s a chill bf most of the time, but he knows on anniversaries and stuff those have to be special. But he plans those to be chill too, like dinner at your fave place or maybe a really cute park date with candles and stuff.

Ugly: This isn’t a really ugly habit, but he has a habit of putting things on the highest shelf. Like, yeah, it’s convenient for him, but when you crave chips, you don’t want to put in extra effort to get them lol. I also feel like he’s the type to drink milk straight out of the carton, and that’s just unsanitary. 

Victorious: yES, I feel like he enjoys at home kind of dates, so video game night is a must. He prefers playing Mario Kart, but after you beat him for the 100th time, he decided to stop playing that game with you on date nights. I also feel like he’s the type to just start 1v1 basketball in the park on day with you. he probs won but if you win he’d be highkey proud

Winter: Cold weather? He probably likes going to small cafes and bakeries to drink hot cocoa and eat pastries while watching the snowflakes fall outside. Also, expect a giant snowman to be built before all the snow melts. Plus, he’ll randomly start snowball fights, so always be prepared, aLWAYS.

Xtra: He probably really enjoys dog videos. Like, this boy is practically a giant pup himself, so watching actual pups do adorable pup things? Def his aesthetic. Expect him to run up to you with his phone one day and shove it right under your nose so you can bask in the adorableness too.

Yuck: I feel like Guanlin doesn’t like it when people aren’t straight up honest with him. Like yeah, he understands sometimes there are occasions where lying is okay, but he would def hate it if you did something bad and either put off from telling him or tried to skirt around the truth. He’s honest with you, so he expects you to be honest with him.

Zodiac: So, according to the internet, Guanlin is a Libra. However, I don’t feel like he fits it exactly. Yes, he is shown to be cooperative and sociable, but Guanlin doesn’t do self-pity. He doesn’t dwell on “oh, woe is me” he works on improving himself as a person. I feel like Guanlin legit would not care what zodiac you were, as long as you were nice and caring he’s down.

[travisandersondatingblog]

Should I Text Him First? 4 Rules of When to Text Him and When to Wait

So you’re asking yourself about the new guy you just met: should I text him first? Or should I let him come to me?

According to a new survey by a well-known dating app, one out of three successful heterosexual relationships were started by the woman messaging first.

But that data doesn’t clarify the answer. It’s not always best for you to message first. So who should make the first move?

If you’ve ever wondered, “should I text him first? Should I wait?” then you’re far from alone. I’m willing to bet every woman who has ever dated has asked herself those same questions. And in this video and article, I’m going to answer them. Stay tuned.

Your Coach,

      P.S. If you need a little help in the texting department, check out my Love Texting Report. It’s got texts that you can copy and paste and start using today!

Should I Text Him First? 4 Scenarios

via GIPHY

Dating these days is totally different from what it was when you were in your 20s. Back then, you’d give a guy your number — your landline number — and wait impatiently for him to call. You might even pick up the receiver (cord or no cord?) to see if there was a dial tone…just in case your phone was broken and he couldn’t call.

Now, women still have that same impatience…but it’s around texting. You give him your number and wait impatiently, but chances are, he won’t call but will text instead.

By the way, this isn’t a great habit: research has shown that couples who text a lot (rather than call) are generally less satisfied with their relationships. So even if you start out texting, try to get him to move to the occasional phone call to balance things out. You just might have a happier relationship if you do!

Given that you’re a self-sufficient kinda gal, you might think to yourself, “To hell with waiting for him to text. I’ll just text first. What’s the big deal?”

In fact, initiating the first text can work, as we learned at the start of this article. But that’s not to say it always is the best course of action. Let’s dive into a few different scenarios and break down the answer to, “should I text him first?”

1. You Gave Him Your Number at a Party

You meet a gorgeous, gregarious man at a cocktail party. Before you know it, he has you in stitches. Funny guy! You spend the entire evening talking about everything under the sun.

When it’s time to go, you exchange numbers.

Should you text him first?

My advice — it may come off as a little old-fashioned — is no, you should not text him first in this situation. Let him text you first.

I know what you’re thinking: “What the heck, Adam? What if he never texts me?”

My response is: if he doesn’t text you, then there was no real interest in the first place. Look, he has your number. If he wants to text you, he absolutely will. Clearly, if he doesn’t text, there wasn’t enough spark for him.

Move on with your life. Don’t invest too much emotionally into this scenario. Stop telling yourself that he lost your number (eh, what? Did it fall out of his phone?) or that he’s been too busy to text. Let it go.

By letting him be the one to initiate the first text, you’re allowing him to invest more emotionally in getting your attention. Sure, you are stressed about waiting for him to send that first text, but guess what? He’s going to have that same apprehension when he does text because he’ll be biting his nails waiting for you to respond (and yeah, it’s completely okay to let him sweat a little).

When you first meet a man, you want him to pursue you and to wonder how you feel about him. Being too eager and texting him first may take the thrill of the chase away from him. So let him have that opportunity to pursue you…and don’t be instantly available.

Erika Ettin, the founder of dating website A Little Nudge, says that there is more perceived value when you make a man wait with your response:

“The less someone responds or reciprocates to one’s advances, the more perceived value the pursuer thinks this person has. So we try harder since this person must really be ‘worth it’ if he or she is in such high demand — in other words, this person is a scarce resource.”

And here’s a little trick that will take the question out of this particular scenario. Ask for his number and then send him a text on the spot. Technically you sent the first text, but the ball is in his court, so he’s got no excuse not to text you!

2. You Sat with Him and a Group of Other Colleagues at Work

Could this be the start of an office romance?

You work together, but you’re not in the same department, so you’re not worried that there’s a conflict of interest. You’re definitely interested, and you’re pretty certain he feels the same.

Should you, say, add him as a friend on Facebook?

I say yes. Why not?

But here’s the caveat: know what the policy at work is about dating co-workers. If you’re not sure, check your employee handbook or ask your HR manager. If there are rules against it, please don’t open this can of worms. It will only cause a headache down the road.

Hey: 14% of people say an office romance helped them enjoy a job they hated, so what have you got to lose?

However, if it’s totally cool to date other people in your workplace, friending him on Facebook is a great way to show a different side of yourself to someone who only knows your work personality. He might be pleasantly surprised, once he scrolls through your Facebook profile, to find that you’re really into salsa dancing (so is he!). That could lead to a great conversation about it and even a date!

And because Facebook has Messenger built in, once you’re connected as friends, you can message one another outside of the confines of your work email addresses. Taking your communication out of the workplace opens the door to him having the opportunity to message you and ask you out.

3. He Took You Out on a Date

So you’ve been in communication with this guy one way or another, and you just went on your first date. It went stupendously.

Should you text him first after the date?

Here I say absolutely yes. If he took you on a date, going to the trouble to plan the date and even paying for it, it is absolutely appropriate for you to text him and thank him for an amazing night out.

Not texting him that evening or even the next day could send the message that you’re not really interested, and you certainly don’t want to give him that impression! So send him a short text thanking him for the date. Close with “I look forward to seeing you again” so that he starts anticipating the next date.

I guarantee he’ll appreciate it. Men are like dogs (sorry guys!). When you reward him (thanking him for the date and saying how much fun you had), he will want to do the same thing to get more reward from you. So the minute he reads your text, he’ll be brainstorming future date ideas!

4. You Had Sex for the First Time the Night Before

If things went well in bed, why not text him?

Whether it was your first date or your 15th, you finally got intimate with this guy. It was pretty great, but you’re torn: if you text first, will you come off as needy? And what if he only wanted things to be casual and doesn’t text back? On the other hand, waiting might communicate to him that you didn’t enjoy yourself, and you don’t want him to think that.

“Arg. Enough already, Adam. Should I text him first or not?”

Okay, okay.

If the sex was indeed amazing and you want to see him again, yes, absolutely send that first text. If you’re already thinking about the next time you can hop in the sack with him, send a sexy text that will get him excited.

Conclusion:

Let me just say: there is no hard and fast rule, no set-in-stone answer to the question, “should I text him first?”

What I’ve given here is my own personal opinion. You can take it or leave it. I have, however, helped thousands of women find true love, so I might know a thing or two about what I’m talking about!

What it comes down to in the early stages of dating and texting, especially if this whole thing is new to you after a divorce, is going at his pace. He may move at a snail’s pace while you’re more of a cheetah. It may get frustrating. But if you pay attention to how long he takes to respond to texts or just his personality in general, you’ll be able to figure out his tempo and match it.

Don’t pursue him. Let him pursue you.

Now I want to hear from you! Do you agree with the suggestions I gave in any of these scenarios? Don’t be afraid to play devil’s advocate! Let’s start a dialogue about whether you should text him first in the comments below.

And if you need more resources to help you with your text game, download Love Texting today and spark a little interest from this guy!

The post Should I Text Him First? 4 Rules of When to Text Him and When to Wait appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

from Meet Positives SM Feed 3 http://bit.ly/2BMvG4W via IFTTT

[fayecallasdatingblog]

Should I Text Him First? 4 Rules of When to Text Him and When to Wait

So you’re asking yourself about the new guy you just met: should I text him first? Or should I let him come to me?

According to a new survey by a well-known dating app, one out of three successful heterosexual relationships were started by the woman messaging first.

But that data doesn’t clarify the answer. It’s not always best for you to message first. So who should make the first move?

If you’ve ever wondered, “should I text him first? Should I wait?” then you’re far from alone. I’m willing to bet every woman who has ever dated has asked herself those same questions. And in this video and article, I’m going to answer them. Stay tuned.

Your Coach,

      P.S. If you need a little help in the texting department, check out my Love Texting Report. It’s got texts that you can copy and paste and start using today!

Should I Text Him First? 4 Scenarios

via GIPHY

Dating these days is totally different from what it was when you were in your 20s. Back then, you’d give a guy your number — your landline number — and wait impatiently for him to call. You might even pick up the receiver (cord or no cord?) to see if there was a dial tone…just in case your phone was broken and he couldn’t call.

Now, women still have that same impatience…but it’s around texting. You give him your number and wait impatiently, but chances are, he won’t call but will text instead.

By the way, this isn’t a great habit: research has shown that couples who text a lot (rather than call) are generally less satisfied with their relationships. So even if you start out texting, try to get him to move to the occasional phone call to balance things out. You just might have a happier relationship if you do!

Given that you’re a self-sufficient kinda gal, you might think to yourself, “To hell with waiting for him to text. I’ll just text first. What’s the big deal?”

In fact, initiating the first text can work, as we learned at the start of this article. But that’s not to say it always is the best course of action. Let’s dive into a few different scenarios and break down the answer to, “should I text him first?”

1. You Gave Him Your Number at a Party

You meet a gorgeous, gregarious man at a cocktail party. Before you know it, he has you in stitches. Funny guy! You spend the entire evening talking about everything under the sun.

When it’s time to go, you exchange numbers.

Should you text him first?

My advice — it may come off as a little old-fashioned — is no, you should not text him first in this situation. Let him text you first.

I know what you’re thinking: “What the heck, Adam? What if he never texts me?”

My response is: if he doesn’t text you, then there was no real interest in the first place. Look, he has your number. If he wants to text you, he absolutely will. Clearly, if he doesn’t text, there wasn’t enough spark for him.

Move on with your life. Don’t invest too much emotionally into this scenario. Stop telling yourself that he lost your number (eh, what? Did it fall out of his phone?) or that he’s been too busy to text. Let it go.

By letting him be the one to initiate the first text, you’re allowing him to invest more emotionally in getting your attention. Sure, you are stressed about waiting for him to send that first text, but guess what? He’s going to have that same apprehension when he does text because he’ll be biting his nails waiting for you to respond (and yeah, it’s completely okay to let him sweat a little).

When you first meet a man, you want him to pursue you and to wonder how you feel about him. Being too eager and texting him first may take the thrill of the chase away from him. So let him have that opportunity to pursue you…and don’t be instantly available.

Erika Ettin, the founder of dating website A Little Nudge, says that there is more perceived value when you make a man wait with your response:

“The less someone responds or reciprocates to one’s advances, the more perceived value the pursuer thinks this person has. So we try harder since this person must really be ‘worth it’ if he or she is in such high demand — in other words, this person is a scarce resource.”

And here’s a little trick that will take the question out of this particular scenario. Ask for his number and then send him a text on the spot. Technically you sent the first text, but the ball is in his court, so he’s got no excuse not to text you!

2. You Sat with Him and a Group of Other Colleagues at Work

Could this be the start of an office romance?

You work together, but you’re not in the same department, so you’re not worried that there’s a conflict of interest. You’re definitely interested, and you’re pretty certain he feels the same.

Should you, say, add him as a friend on Facebook?

I say yes. Why not?

But here’s the caveat: know what the policy at work is about dating co-workers. If you’re not sure, check your employee handbook or ask your HR manager. If there are rules against it, please don’t open this can of worms. It will only cause a headache down the road.

Hey: 14% of people say an office romance helped them enjoy a job they hated, so what have you got to lose?

However, if it’s totally cool to date other people in your workplace, friending him on Facebook is a great way to show a different side of yourself to someone who only knows your work personality. He might be pleasantly surprised, once he scrolls through your Facebook profile, to find that you’re really into salsa dancing (so is he!). That could lead to a great conversation about it and even a date!

And because Facebook has Messenger built in, once you’re connected as friends, you can message one another outside of the confines of your work email addresses. Taking your communication out of the workplace opens the door to him having the opportunity to message you and ask you out.

3. He Took You Out on a Date

So you’ve been in communication with this guy one way or another, and you just went on your first date. It went stupendously.

Should you text him first after the date?

Here I say absolutely yes. If he took you on a date, going to the trouble to plan the date and even paying for it, it is absolutely appropriate for you to text him and thank him for an amazing night out.

Not texting him that evening or even the next day could send the message that you’re not really interested, and you certainly don’t want to give him that impression! So send him a short text thanking him for the date. Close with “I look forward to seeing you again” so that he starts anticipating the next date.

I guarantee he’ll appreciate it. Men are like dogs (sorry guys!). When you reward him (thanking him for the date and saying how much fun you had), he will want to do the same thing to get more reward from you. So the minute he reads your text, he’ll be brainstorming future date ideas!

4. You Had Sex for the First Time the Night Before

If things went well in bed, why not text him?

Whether it was your first date or your 15th, you finally got intimate with this guy. It was pretty great, but you’re torn: if you text first, will you come off as needy? And what if he only wanted things to be casual and doesn’t text back? On the other hand, waiting might communicate to him that you didn’t enjoy yourself, and you don’t want him to think that.

“Arg. Enough already, Adam. Should I text him first or not?”

Okay, okay.

If the sex was indeed amazing and you want to see him again, yes, absolutely send that first text. If you’re already thinking about the next time you can hop in the sack with him, send a sexy text that will get him excited.

Conclusion:

Let me just say: there is no hard and fast rule, no set-in-stone answer to the question, “should I text him first?”

What I’ve given here is my own personal opinion. You can take it or leave it. I have, however, helped thousands of women find true love, so I might know a thing or two about what I’m talking about!

What it comes down to in the early stages of dating and texting, especially if this whole thing is new to you after a divorce, is going at his pace. He may move at a snail’s pace while you’re more of a cheetah. It may get frustrating. But if you pay attention to how long he takes to respond to texts or just his personality in general, you’ll be able to figure out his tempo and match it.

Don’t pursue him. Let him pursue you.

Now I want to hear from you! Do you agree with the suggestions I gave in any of these scenarios? Don’t be afraid to play devil’s advocate! Let’s start a dialogue about whether you should text him first in the comments below.

And if you need more resources to help you with your text game, download Love Texting today and spark a little interest from this guy!

The post Should I Text Him First? 4 Rules of When to Text Him and When to Wait appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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[kainefloyd]

{ KJ APA . CIS MALE .  23 . HE/HIM }  did you see that { KAINE ‘KAI’ FLOYD } just pulled up in hidden hills with { LORENA RAMOS } sitting next to them in the passengers seat - isn’t that cute ! you know, for a { NBA PLAYER - LAKERS }, i’ve heard they’re really { INDECISIVE }, but that they make up for it by being so { CHARMING }. i see them all the time on snapchat && yesterday in US WEEKLY i read that they { HAVE } 2 sons - can you believe that ?!

some basics;

Kaine ‘Kai’ Floyd is originally from Hawaii. He is Samoan & Hawaiian.

Goes by the nickname K-9 in the NBA for his name and number.

Born November 14 - Scorpio

Most of his friends back home call him Kai.

There’s over 100 people in his immediate family. At this rate, he has lost count.

Oldest of 9 siblings. 

Has the two most cutest, adorable baby boys with Lorena.

He’s a starting point guard for the LA Lakers

Attended UCLA for college where he got drafted out of. Never finished his degree.

Works with lots of children organizations and likes to give back to kids however he can.

Has endorsement deals with top athletic brands, drinks and his own branch/line off of everything he partakes in.

Him and Lorena were on basketball wives. They have a huge fan base of their relationship on social media thanks to the reality show.

Lives HERE currently

as a dad;

Father of Two Sons; Tide Alexander and Evian Reign.

Tide’s nickname  are Ty, Ty Guy, My Ty. And Evian’s are Evy but Tide calls him baby Evy

He wants as many kids as Lo will give him. He’s huge into family, loves being a dad and is very careful when it comes to sex. His goal is to only have one baby mama in life that he’s in love with, can spoil and get to tie down/be a stay at home mom which can be an argument/disagreement point that we can work on.

Tide and Evian are his parents first grandkids, his grandparents first great grands and he has a sister who is four. His parents were young when they had him and now only 45 & 44. and his grandparents are in their 60′s and 70′s.

He’s such a push over, his kids pouts and when they wrap their arms around his neck or want to be held makes him melt.

They literally are the light of his life. Nothing means more to him than those two little boys.

Has a play room for them that is extreme, full out little kid basketball court, swing set inside, slides, arts and craft sections, all the toys, everything.

Tells bad dad jokes sometimes. Okay most of the time.

Has their names tattoo’d over his heart

Kaine will also be there to babysit, help out single moms and do whatever whenever. He’s super caring and loves friends that can turn into family. There’s nothing more that this guy loves than throwing down a huge bbq for everyone, being behind the grill and when the kids go to bed, turning up with all the drinks.

lorena;

Love of his life.

Her smile and laugh are everything. Making her blush and their size difference. Huge turn ons.

They have an on again, off again relationship since Evy. which he hates for him and his sons but knows he is an ass and they have to figure their shit out before having another kid.

Kaine can be super romantic at times, makes sure to include things she enjoys like candles and pays attention to the little things she loves in life.

Still keeps her closet open at his place, buying her things to have there to try and get her to spend the night.

Compares every girl in his life to her.

Flirts around sometimes but that’s mostly his personality when they’re off cause she’s kinda hot when jealous?

Downfall is Kaine. entirely. they are set for life with money and their family’s shares in ebay, then the millions he makes from the nba, his endorsement deals, reality tv and all of that so he expects lo to want to be a stay at home mom?

He’s a dumb dumb but literally is the type to grab up on her butt and kiss her neck, very affectionate with her is his personality no matter what.

Expresses his appreciation and admiration for her frequently for their family, their sons and her, etc.

Wants to always provide for her, in lots of ways.

Never gives up hope they’ll be together forever. that’s why he hasn’t really laid down roots in his place? because he has his own ideas.

Wants to build an empire with her.

Knows how lucky he is and like, admits it but has big jerk energy sometimes when it comes to pride and needs to recognize her dreams matter too? like she is an amazing mom and wifey type. 100 percent. but she should get to live out what she wants to do just like he does.

His father is the terrible influence he learned things from and his mom really needs to speak to him about all of this.

his hawaiian family life;

His father was super unfaithful and always stepping out on his mom. They had a very toxic relationship, but in the culture, his mom was pretty much left to deal with it. 

Christianity and church is an important aspect in Hawaii so is their image.

They are Hawaii’s most famous family.

Kaine is the oldest of 8 kids that he knows of? would love a half sibling.

Kaine’s Tutu and Tuma (what he calls his paternal grandparents) are the matriarchs of the family and own acres and acres of land. They are beyond rich and created their own compound beachside where they had custom homes built for their children.

Kaine’s paternal grandfather and father are part owners of ebay and billionaires.

Kaine’s mother, Maria came from nothing. She was a model in New York City when she met Kaine’s father, Elei - EJ for short who was there for business. Her parents didn’t approve of her running off to marry him, but it wasn’t a question in her eyes. It was what she wanted to do and thought he was going to provide her with a life of luxury that allowed her to continue to stay in the modeling world.

All of his brother’s and sisters carry on the Hawaiian tradition with strong, Hawaiian names that came from ‘dreams’.

Maria is always in town as often as she can to visit, stays usually at Kaine’s and brings some of his siblings. Her family is estranged and she is struggling with trying to reconnect with them after all of these years.

kaine’s personal life;

Super loaded & knows what he likes and doesn’t in this world.

Is pretty private about things, not super flashy. Isn’t one for suits and stuff like that, even on game day. He does dress up during the playoffs though.

He’s into surfing, skateboarding, the island life and living, four wheeling, going on adventures, tanning and living more relaxed when he can.

 His home is super open planned which he fixes and gates up accordingly when he has his kids, don’t worry.

Loves a good beer, chilling outdoors, going to the beach or having a bonfire on a Friday night.

Listens to all kinds of music.

His party habits are kind of wild when he does go out, though.

Dark Liquor has him crazy, tequila makes him super duper horny.

Def sends Lo risky texts when he’s drunk and you can tell by the look on his face when it’s time for him to go home.

Kaine is into working out, very dedicated to his ab life, has a home gym and a half basketball court at his house outside but also a personal trainer he visits and has over. His work is never done.

Very strict with his diet and has a chef that cooks for him weekly, prepares meals and stacks his fridge and freezer. 

Tattoos are life. Has 12 currently and his artist on speed dial.

Has a huge man cave, collects old school vintage band and sports memorabilia.

Also into buying arcade games for his home to play at any time.

Is best friends with lots of top named players in the league and has a close, big brother/big brother relationship with Lebron James. Kobe was his idol.

Cars. This boy has 8 in Hidden Hills alone.

The house he owns is massive, but hates living in it without Lo.

Family owns a few private jets.

Wants to get dogs, he has some back in Hawaii that are his family dogs but for now he’s waiting until him and Lorena lay grounds better? Plus, he knows she loves her pup and doesn’t want to try and one up her.

connections;

in between on and off times with his baby mama, he has had some dating flings featured in the tabloids. not all are true, some are just friendships.

he knows that people could use him easily for fame and clout, so he is protective of himself and who he lets in his life.

no one random their sons ever. he’s extremely protective of them and his privacy, but is trying to make sure to branch out more and make more parent buddies.

as for friends, he’s a guy’s guy. loves saturdays being for the boys. would love all the friendships.

you can count on kaine to show up and come through with helping you whenever you’re in need. he’s a good listener, doesn’t care much about drama so you don’t have to worry about him repeating anything.