#such a shame too i was really getting a character idea going
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ohohohooooooo we just had s4ep3 đđđđđ
feel like ive gotta copy-paste some of the thoughts had onto here, rather than rewrite them, but suffice to say for the moment, big big character growth for one ray kowalski
the trajectory from early s3 to now as something that at first was very inward-facing (he's aware that his life isn't what he wants it to be, but he isn't at a point where he can pinpoint why and so he's at that stage of jerkily sharing and then withholding emotions, looking at himself and not taking in how others may feel (stella, fraser), and thinking more about how he feels bad, without knowing yet how to challenge that) to end s3pt1 (commitment to change) to these three episodes:
baseball: growing confidence in himself, less insecurity easy money: putting fraser's story first (on a meta level as well, s3pt1 very much pulled fraser back for a bit, and now he's slowly coming back into focus again at the point when ray is starting to take more action) ladies man: looking at his past and taking responsibility for those actions and how they affected someone else and the idea that it's never too late until it's too late (and he made it just in time!) (also like. none of that was his fault. but you get how he feels like it was his fault. and i think it's more that he probably felt like something was wrong about it all for years and it took him all this time to dare face her and ascertain for the first time that she Didn't kill her husband, so it's less that first mistake, and more the subsequent avoidance of trying to rectify it maybe.... things to think about. i am gonna go ahead and hc that beth and ray remain friends btw)
and throughout, he's been less and less ray vecchio. i believe mentioned off-hand in the first of these, but otherwise, he's stepping more and more into his own shoes/his own skin -- and a lot of it also (maybe?) related to those anger issues he has. because ep3 really started us off with that "hey, remember how ray has some really bad anger issues. let's see if he can make a conscious choice to work through those" which is what he did and ended with "guilt, sadness, shame, regret"... much much harder to feel, but he allowed himself to feel them, at last (and cry)
which is also interesting, because fraser is trying to facilitate that/support him and he's LETTING him now, it's more honest, more Real, unlike the false start back in early s3pt1 (especially episode 4 when ray was tryna work through his stella feelings in.... less than optimal ways... stellar ways.....)... which means im holding out for fraser to fall to pieces a little bit at some point as well, because he is Brittle!!!
if i think of this season as a mirror-ish to one another, albeit sort of shifted, because baseball was a bit of an outlier (bdth/easy money being about fraser losing something pivotal and needing to carry on, eclipse/ladies man dealing with events in ray's past that he feels shame about/hasn't been honest with himself about/needs recontextualisation in the present), potentially around episode seeeeven to mirror bounty hunter? throwing it out there as a maybe maybe, i could be overreading this mirror thing (we'll see)
but point is we're really seeing ray having floundered and struggled to identify his emotions and how to act, rather than react to the world and he's pushing against that! and he's feeling his feelings
(something... SOMEone........ who shall not be named.................... could do with? maybe?) (oh but see fraser's very well-adjusted, because he doesn't ever get angry or sad or lonely ever ever, he's Happy-go-lucky just doin' his job đđđ) (fraser acknowledgement that he imagined killing his "father's killers"/gerrard and me like "i know bby, i saw you point a gun at him and throw a knife next to his head, but it's still đđđđ to hear you say it out loud.... but also you're STILL doing it for ray's benefit and not your own, i think!")
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Just saw the weirdest most over-stimulating production of marriage of figaroâŠ. I feel like the opera, the music, got lost in the set and costumes and props and background cast who were just kind of there? Doing weird things?
#they did not make up a chorus or anything#donât get me wrong I didnât have a bad time but I had no idea what was going on#and nor did my friend#and my other friend and her husband who know a lot about opera also felt similarly to me#i felt like Nicholas in hot fuzz when he has to watch the am dram Romeo and Juliet#it also kind of felt like those tiktoks where there is so much happening like narration and a stim video and a vid of someone playing#subway surfer and thereâs too much to actually focus on#I didnât know where to look#there were basically two stages plus the surtitles and both stages were being used at the same time#so often a soloist got kind of lost in all the background action#which is a real shame because they were all really good#but I could not tell you the plot at all or anything#there was a weird bit where some random background character strips to his boxers puts on an apron and stabs some other bg characters?#but itâs a kind of dream sequence so he doesnât really kill them?#and then the actual characters have a bit where they bang knives randomly on bits of the set? again I am unsure what that was about#lots of strange baffling things
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Honestly though I think itâs really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like heâs a self insert đ©
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
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I wanna write a Rosie Alastor fic but I have zero ideas đ
#like I feel like they'd have something very dialogue heavy#which is kinda my absolute weak point with writing#I just never have ideas for it. I prefer to write out scenes and actions#I do admire those writers that have the wittiest in character dialogue#but ugh I just wanna write them having a little tea party or something#which just isn't enough for me to work with#rave ramblees#perhaps I should think up some ideas#and go back to writing for cutthroat#or REALLY go back to my roots and continue that fucking danvid fic I abandoned#though I think I'd need to rewrite the whole thing before I even continued it#and then I'd get tired and abandon the rewrite too :/#I wanna write smut but it's like I'm incapable of not cringing while writing it now#and I used to write the most vile horrors with no shame#but now if I say penis I wanna kill myself#smut used to be my bread and butter what has become of me đ©
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I ran out of tags XD Good Omens Spoilers Beware! (time for dinner now)
The Magic Trick You Didnât See: Being An Analysis of Good Omens Season 2
(or: Neil Gaiman, Your Brain is Gorgeous But I Have Cracked Your Sneaky Little Code And Have You Dead To Rights*) (*Maybe)
***
Soooooo I just spent the last 48 hours having a BREATHTAKING GALAXY BRAIN EPIPHANY about Good Omens Season 2 and feverishly writing a fuckin16,000 word essay about the incredible magic trick that @neil-gaiman pulled off.Â
Yes, itâs long, but I PROMISE your brains will explode. Do you want to know how magic works? Do you want to know what Metatronâs deal is (Iâm like 99% sure of this and itâs EXTREMELY FUCKING GOOD)? Do you want to know about the Mystery of the Vanishing Eccles Cakes and the big fat beautiful clue I found in the opening credits? Do you go through the whole inventory of Chekovâs Firearm & Heavy Artillery Discount Warehouse?Â
Here is the essay, go read it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ When ur done u can tell me Iâm an insane crackpot, and u know what, i wonât even be offended
In case you donât know whether you want to bother reading the whole enormous thing on google docs, Iâve put the first couple sections of it under the cut. JUST TRUST ME OKAY, HEAR ME OUT, THIS IS VERY EXTREMELY COOL, NEIL IS GOOD AT HIS JOBâ
Keep reading
#FASCINATING essay#intriguing ideas and clues#the eccles cakes are DEFINITELY significant! weren't they called the ultimate comfort food? comfort disappears...#s2 has so many threads left up in the air ready to be played with in s3 it's great#wondering hard about the editing/erasing memories ability...is that something any angel at michael/uriel/saraqaels' level can do?#is it something they can do to ANY angel (or demon?)/only if they decide as a committee?#cuz they expected to erase gabriel's memory. saraqael had the thing to âlook upâ gabriel's memory in her hot little hands at the meeting#was THAT the book of life or is angel memory editing a separate function? (I'm leaning toward the latter)#GABRIEL fell in love?? GABRIEL?? with a demon?? is that Real? is it??#One Prince of Heaven may fall (lucifer/satan) but not two (crowley?) and CERTAINLY not 3 (gabriel) eh metatron? eh?#you are on to something BIG and the payoff is gonna be great!#(hey hollywood execs pay your fucking staff already & stop forcing wga & sag-aftra to strike for survival) (s3 doesn't HAVE to be on prime?)#oooh maggie not sure about maggie not being real. you've got me halfway convinced but aziraphale loves her records#AND she gets all the everyday records that the resurrectionist keeps getting--possible grounding in reality?#âit's just a thing we doâ - i am on the fence on this one. on the one hand it is a very Character thing to say. on the other...#it's also a very mellow go woth the flow i don't get it but I'm here and i don't hate it kind of thing to say (and she really really wants#to dance with nina)#*with#the perfect crime...the parallels to gabriel's disappearance with none knowing who done did it (cuz he zapped himself into the fly)#back to gabriel & beelzebub and the everday records....the sheer NUMBER of records...does it imply gabriel turned EVERY RECORD in the juke#every time they visited the resurrectionist (3 times on screen?) or does he change just the one currently selected and there's a ton more#visits there that we DON'T see (but the records are proof of)?#gabriel says Nah. nah. nuhuh. nope. great & terrible prophesy bad things coming ah yes I'll renege and lose my memory to avert it ???#Nah is too out of character to not be deliberate. WHAT DOES GABRIEL KNOW ABOUT WHAT IS COMING. why did he set things up#so that he could escape heaven scot free but memoryless and WHY was that integral to averting the Terrible Thing that is coming?#is metatron the terrible thing? did gabriel have to leave the coop SO THAT metatron would be tempted to meddle & suck aziraphale in?#so that aziraphale (and crowley) can save the day by stopping âheavenâ/metatron's plan for the second coming?#the Great Plan is ineffable...the Apocalysn't...the plan behind the plan for apocalypse...god's narration & the nice & accurate prophecies--#what I'm getting at there (poorly) is that...maybe god's plan is to see how long things can last? how great creation can become?#because it IS a damn shame to end an infinite universe after 6000 years before the engine is even fully cranked up...
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âćœĄ peppers pt 2 ËłàŒê ¶
character: hwang in ho / 001 / the frontman
ËłàŒê ¶ summary: five sfw and nsfw general headcannons for the frontman
sfw headcannons
â
as he proceeded as the front man, he acquired a fascination with betrayal within the games. it basically reinforced the belief that humanity would always choose the best for themselves despite the sacrifice of others, and deep down i think he gets off by watching the players kill each other
â
in some way he feels a bit bad for the players who vote to go home. heâs seen the process over and over again and knows that greed outweighs self-sufficiency and compassion for others; for him, these deaths arenât as enjoyable to watch
â
he hates others that victimize themselves. it leaves him both simultaneously angry and stressed, because what do you mean youâre upset with the situation you got yourself into?
â
when heâs not in the games (as a player), the hierarchy and rules that he has for the staff is much stricter. he doesnât allow barbarity; like guards threatening each other, fighting, or attempting to take advantage of another person. while he chooses to take players in and make them fight to win, he still has a moral compass
â
he HATES the vips. for him, sure he gets enjoyment of watching the games but heâs never found the need to bet on the players; if anything this further pushes the idea that humanity has lost it. because while others may view him continuing the game as psychopathic, he views it as demonstration to people
nsfw headcannons
â
as the frontman, he doesnât really have someone that can please him. most of the time when heâs pent up, heâll just use his hand and his imagination to get off
â
as the frontman, he likes to keep his sexual activities in private. but as a player, since he believes he has some sort of superiority over the others he wouldnât mind fucking in public; not obnoxiously of course, but with the confidence, courage and no shame. late night sex with him would be so good, but since gi-hun suggests watch shifts it would be harder to actually participate in it (season 2 bathroom scene w/ the frontman when?!)
â
he doesnât really like watching you ride him. he believes it gives you too much control. he wants to have all control over your pleasure; like whether or not you cum, how many times you cum, ect
â
heâd definitely make a sex tape with you if you were okay with it - but only when heâs not playing the games, so either after the revolt or if heâd never entered the games altogether. heâs the type to burn your sex tape on dvdâs. watching them on a video recorder or a mobile device is too tacky for him
â
he likes it when you whine for him; especially if youâre shy in bed. heâd go all gentle in the beginning, saying stuff like âcome on sweetheart, you gotta tell me what you wantâ and âlook at my beautiful sweetheart, so needy for me.â and when heâs finally inside you, he does degrade you, but itâs usually a mix of both praise and degradation
the end! i hope you enjoyed <3!
© cheetabites. donât translate, claim or repost my works on any platform. jan 4 2025.
#â
; ayuriâs sg headcannons#squid game#squid game 2#squid game season 2#the frontman#001#player 001#young il#hwang in ho#player 001 x reader#hwang in ho x reader#the frontman x reader#001 x reader#squid game x reader#squid game x you#squid game fanfiction#squid game fanfic#squid game imagine#squid game headcanons
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â â đđ«đđđ€ đ„đąđ€đ đŠđ? â â hsr x reader
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synopsis. whenever he wants to taste you so bad ...
warnings. cervix eating, afab!gn!reader, face sitting, dom!character, they/them pronouns are used on reader, squirting (done by reader), overstimulation, fingering
author's note. just finished a documentary on a serial killer then wrote an essay with my own free will
pairings. dan heng, blade, luocha, jing yuan, sampo, welt, caelus x afab!gn!reader / fem!reader (take this however you like because i still use they/them on reader but they're afab :p)
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dan heng is just messy asf, like probably his first time too, never really has had gotten the chance to ever eat anyone out. kind of was too busy to do that. but when you offered, he couldn't help but think of how you'd be straddled atop his chest, and his tongue just went deeper and deeper into your sensitive hole, and honestly would slurp your aftermath all up after with no shame. the loud sounds of him licking up all your cum didn't help the embarassment. but he pushed his thoughts away and finally got you straddled onto his face, and pleasure was all that was on his mind. the taste of your sweet honey just made him wanna indulge so much deeper inside you. your velvety walls clenching around his snake-like tongue was a good enough sign he'd get to taste such sweet bliss again.
type of guy to overstimulate the hell outta you just for all that essence. he has never tasted anything better. probably would finger you while you sit on the motel bed you rented for a few measly 10 thousand credits. becomes so greedy when his mouth is finally latched onto your hole just begging for you to come. after a while of eating you out, he'll just know where your g-spot is, would go so far to even say his tongue memorized it, and the taste. and he just can't get enough of it. and after everyday as your trailblazing mission is ongoing, whether you'd be away from him at the moment or just right beside him, he already misses you and your pussy so much :(
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caelus is def a big sweetheart about it. even though you think he wouldn't be the one to ask, he would. "hey i've been a little stressed lately, can you.. sit on my face and let me treat you right?", and can't help but be a little messy with it, when you finally are on top of him. your hole is right there, wet and ready for him. he's still so blushy, shy and nervous about it. but as soon as he gets a taste of such bliss, he can't help but get more, and more, and more. as soon as he felt your cum on his tongue he couldn't help but want more! he doesn't mean to overstimulate you :(( he just wants more of that tasty sweetness!
does it after trailblazing missions specifically, his thoughts do lowkey get to him while on the job, probably jerked off to the idea of eating you out, or you giving him a blowjob, but that's another story, for another day, not tomorrow, not the day after, some day. anyways, he definitely likes the idea of doing it publicly, the adrenaline of someone catching you in the bathroom with your boyfriend's mouth filled with lust and hunger, he'd keep going if that ever happened, literally just wants everything we can harvest out of you. at first he does like to tease with a bit of fingering and kitty licks while you're blindfolded. your thighs slowly choking him is such a relieving feeling to him, he can't wait to feel that exotic bliss on his tongue.
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cw: public-ish sex
sampo will not hesitate to tease the living hell out of you, does it everyday, and any day. and is not shameful at all, will ask you to sit on his face with confidence. after all the teasing is over though he will be messy with it. lowkey wants you to fuck his face with your pussy slowly because it feels that good. his nose literally covered in your wetness because of how deep his tongue is in, or how your forcing his face to get closer, as you're ab to cum!! also the kind of guy to finger you while he eats you out.
loves doing it in an alleyway in belobog especially. just indulging the hell outta your pussy while others just watch as he marks what's clearly his. his gloved finger so deep inside you, so deep inside your pussy and he just had to have such long and slender fingers, as he kept licking your blushing clit, and he couldn't help but moan into your pussy too <33 the vibrations just sent all the more pleasure into you. after that, he'll forcibly grab your thighs and put them atop his shoulders as he also sat you down on 2 small boxes stack on each other and eats you out even more. not afraid at all to overstim your poor hole. but how can he resist such ethereal tasting bliss of yours? it tasted so good he just couldn't get enough!
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welt is very straightforward. only word that comes to mind, no shame, maybe a bit, but will ask you himself with pleasure to ask you to sit ontop of his face, or at least just let him eat you out. he's been so stressed after that trailblazing mission.. he's just gotta eat somethingg.... and you can't deny him forever so one thing led to another, he's ravaging in the taste of your hole, god.. why was it just so fucking addicting? the sticky taste of the sweet little honey you produced made him wanna cum, he is indeed stroking his cock as he eats you out, he's just that kind of guy!!
more into doing it in private, prefers that only he hears how good his tongue makes you feel. so long, and it just felt so good, his nose getting covered in the sticky essence, he didn't care anymore, he just wanted more and more. but would probably ask you if he can overstimulate you more LOL. if himeko like ever just comes in without knocking, he'll literally growl, and she'll be out in a jiffy, just.. can't get the image of a hungry welt eating his s/o's pussy like a homeless man who hasn't ate in days... is just certainly shocked, calm, collected, and cool; welt yang, was so easily undone and broken by his s/o('s taste yum yum yum)..
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jing yuan has no mercy at all, and will ask you so nonchalantly, "hey, can you sit on my face i'm kinda stressed ;(" is the first text you see when opening your phone. is this really the dozing general of luofu.. asks you so many times actually, like when he's bored and lazing around he'll just ask you to sit on his desk while he eats you out. but dear fucking godâ whenever you just came all over his tongue, why the hell did that taste so damn good?? so good he would literally eat you out everyday if he could just to have that 'snack'. and he wouldn't want anyone else's, yours was special, that's what he said. and honestly i see him to be the type that his eyes glow when he gets closer to his climax, and he is another one of the cock stroking while eating you out gang!!
whatever anyway, he'll pound the hell out of your pussy after anyway, don't worry! it's just 'till you can't move a damn muscle in your legs, kind of guy to just want to hold you down by your hips, or the plush of your thighs, he just wants you to hold still while he drinks the devil's wine. if he isn't stroking his cock while he eats you out, his hard cock will just be out in the open while he fingers and eats you out too <3. eats you out like a snack literally sometimes, because he acts like he didn't just eat you out half the time. like after getting you cleaned up and everything, he literally would just start asking "you want anything for dinner?", "huh? it's 1pm in the afternoon jing yuanâ"
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blade is really rough when eating you out. messy and rough. type of guy to softly bite on your clit/really rub his tongue against that spot tbh HLP.. overall is confident, "hey babe can i eat you out rq im aboutta go out" "huh??". has your legs on his shoulders and roughly brings your hole to his mouth, all that juice on his tongue is really what makes him distracted from anything else, like even if anyone were to walk in on you both, he wouldn't care, your sultry moans and you cumming all over his face is all that mattered. will finger you and eat you out because he likes it when you squirt your cum out, is in love with the idea. and right after probably would put you into a mating press and insert his dick so smoothly inside there <3
the type to say i'll wash you up after eating you out but ends up having sex in the shower and literally pounds the shit out of your hole.. again.. in the bed this time.. he gives the first impression of high sex drive, breeding kink blade, what can i say? anyways, will just be so glad to slurp all your cum up after, in love with the scent, smell, taste, anything about you, and he'd gladly say it out loud. just keep cumming all over his face when he eats you out and little bladies will be running everywhere :0
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luocha, even if he is a doctor of some sort, he is either so vanilla with it, just a few kitty licks and fingering you, or rough as fuck and messy, no in between because it's either he's gonna make you cum all over his face or cream on his face, doesn't want anything in between. will be glad to finger you if he feels like he wants your cum to just squirt everywhere, mmm just sit on his face and let him do the rest. doesn't care if his hair gets messy, doesn't care if he's supposed to be somewhere right now, he just wants more of this.. essence. whatever it is, he wants more. and won't be pleased if he hasn't milked you of all of it.
doesn't care if anyone decides to walk in on you both either, but that doesn't mean he prefers public sex. just prefers these moments to just him and you. probably also has a breeding kink. while he fingers you, right before he indulges himself in you, and gets too lost and drunk on the taste, he's already daydreaming of mini versions of him and you. loves the idea sm<33 and is glad you are pleased by the idea too!! so he hopes you don't mind his rock hard cock will pound you after a few 7 rounds of eating you out! just for you <3
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can't take the word pussy seriously had to replace it with hole for that and because i want this to be for everyone/every reader!!
#‷ ïč à»ê°àŸàœČÂŽ Ë ` ê±àŸàœČá beep beep: a finished show! âĄ#hsr x y/n#hsr x you#hsr smut#hsr x reader#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail smut#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x reader smut#blade smut#hsr blade x reader#blade x reader#dan heng smut#hsr dan heng x reader#dan heng x reader#jing yuan smut#jing yuan x reader#hsr jing yuan x reader#sampo smut#caelus smut#welt smut
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You'll Be Home For Christmas
Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Summary:Â You agree to do a favour for your coworker but it might be more than you can handle.
Character:Â Clark Kent
Day Nineeen of the December Daze Challenge.
Prompt - fake dating becomes too real.
Note:Â As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. Iâm happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
"I know it sounds weird, but, my mom's getting up there..." Clark looks away as he pokes his tongue into his cheek.Â
You're not sure how he does it. How someone like him can make himself look pathetic. He's a big man. Mountainous really. He dwarfs just about everybody in the office. Even the desks look tiny next to him. And the chisel of his face is so sharp yet in that moment, he looks heart-wrenchingly soft.Â
"It's just you two this year?" You ask.Â
"Um, yeah," he rubs the back of his neck then drags his hand around and down his chest. He shifts in his chair and clears his throat. "Look, I know I can be nosy but I overheard you and Maggie. You said you don't have any plans this year--" He cringes and leans forward, putting his elbows to the desk as he covers his face then peeks out between his fingers. "It's a dumb idea."Â
"It seems like you're pretty stressed," you fold your hands behind you. You don't want to agree with his last statement and make him feel worse.Â
"Yeah, after Lois..." he shakes his head, "my mom's convinced I'm going to be alone forever and she keeps telling me how old she's getting. Says she wants to live long enough to see me happy."Â
"Wow, sounds worse than my mom," you kid but quickly deflate. "Sorry, I'm not trying to make light."Â
"No, it's ridiculous," he heaves and drops his eyes. "I've asked two of my neighbours, I asked my mail lady, and oh, yeah, the girl who made my coffee today. I'm all out of shame."Â
"Can I think about it?" You ask. You know you're going to say no, but you don't want to do it right away.Â
He perks up and his blue eyes flick to meet yours. His brows rise hopefully and he rolls forward in his chair, "really?"Â
"I didn't say yes."Â
"But you're the first person not to say no," he smiles.Â
Oof, there it is. You've always had a hard time in situations like these. You're a people pleaser in the worst way.Â
"Anyway, I should get back to work," you say.Â
"When-- when will you know?" He asks.Â
You hesitate.Â
"End of today?" He suggests.Â
You nod. Alright. You just need to get out of there before you cave to that puppy dog sparkle in his eyes. A man who looks like that shouldn't be able to make himself so pitiful.Â
âš
You donât know why you said yes. You really were going to say no but when Clark came back to check in, you werenât prepared. So absorbed in your work, that you forgot about the odd request.Â
So here you are, right beside him, wound as tight as a spring as you try not to show it. Itâs not how you imagined spending Christmas. When your typical traditional obligation felt through, you were almost relieved. Now that dread has returned but in a new flavour. Meeting someone elseâs family is somehow more intimidating than your motherâs judgement.Â
Clarkâs own anxiety pales in his knuckles as he drives silently. Only the radio provides some softness in the tension between you. Itâs always strange to spend time with coworkers outside the office and now youâre jumping headfirst into their most personal facet.Â
You fidget in your seat and let your eyes blur out the window. You didnât expect his mom to live this far, yet you should have. Heâd mentioned before he grew up on a farm. It must have been nice in a way, peaceful, out where you canât hear the city honking and hollering.Â
The snow thickens as you get further into the country. His large truck doesnât falter as he steers cautiously through snowed over tire tracks. Would the plow even get this far out here? If it did, you donât imagine it would come very often.Â
Your mind latches onto those random things to avoid the obvious. Youâve always been this way. Instead of worrying about your mother lecturing you about your stagnant work situation, youâre usually more concerned with how your hair lays or if sheâs going to the like that bottle of wine you spent too much money on for her.Â
âThanks again,â Clarkâs baritone rolls over you like thunder. âReally. I know itâs... strange. Iâm just not ready to date again but... my mom...âÂ
âTrust me. I get it. My mom can be... a lot,â you chuckle, though itâs really not that funny.Â
âOh yeah? I didnât want to be nosy, but...âÂ
âRight, uh, you know, my brother asked if we could have dinner on Christmas Eve instead and the rest of us agreed. She insisted that Christmas Eve isnât Christmas...â Your heart picks up with the anxiety you bury deep down. âWell, she cancelled Christmas since no one agreed with her.âÂ
âWow, really?âÂ
âUh, yep,â you canât look at him. Itâs embarrassing. Itâs like when your mother dumped your birthday cake in the garbage because you pointed out you were 13 not 12 that year. Or when she walked out of your graduation because your grandmother wouldnât switch seats. âItâs whatever. Family, right?âÂ
âI guess,â he says. âMy parents always loved holidays too. Especially when dad was around.âÂ
âIâm sorry about your dad,â you murmur.Â
âDonât be. Sorry if it seems like I keep bringing that up,â he sniffs.Â
You look ahead to the sole structure as it looms closer and closer. A farmhouse that comes clearer through the drift of flakes, and a barn like a shadow near its rear corner. Itâs like one of those classic festive paintings printed on an advent calendar or some 1950s domestic dream.Â
He pulls up to the house and shifts in his seat. Concern needles in his cheek as he squints over the steering wheel. He wrenches the shifter into park and kills the engine. You sit futilely and let him take the lead.Â
âLights are off,â he mutters.Â
You nod, unsure what to say. Is something wrong?Â
He gets out and you watch the snow dust into his dark hair and across his broad shoulders. He is unfettered by the deep snow. You zip up your coat and turn to your door. You push it open and look out into the perilous carpet.Â
Clark surprises you as he comes around. âHere,â he puts his arms out, âitâs deep.âÂ
You grab his hand and his other goes to your waist. He as good as lifts you and sets you down in the path heâs stomped through the piles. You thank him and awkwardly detach. He shuts the door and moves around you closely.Â
He leads the way to the porch so you can walk through his footsteps. Your lashes catch the snow as you look up at the grey sky. You donât think youâll make it home that night. Shoot.Â
Clark kicks off his boots as he digs in the pocket of his coat and pulls out some keys. He unlocks the door and gestures you in ahead of him. You try to clear off your treads before you enter. He reaches around the frame to flip on the light.Â
He crowds you as he enters. You try not to step off the mat and make a mess of the floor. You slip free of your Adidas, not the best choice for the weather, and shuffle aside. He hangs his jackets and combs his fingers through his hair to clear the flakes out. The dark strands glisten with the moisture.Â
âGive me your coat,â he reaches for you.Â
âOh, yeah,â you unzip your jacket and hand it over. It isnât exactly climate appropriate either. Youâve been meaning to invest in winter gear. A lot of times your intentions are only ever that. âThanks.âÂ
âQuiet...â he mulls as his eyes skim the ceiling and he hooks your jacket on the rack.Â
âYeah, a little.âÂ
âMaâs probably laying down,â he utters with a hint of concern. âIâm gonna go check and see whatâs going on.âÂ
âOh, I hope sheâs okay.âÂ
âNo worries. She stays up all night reading,â he shakes his head. âFeel free to make yourself at home.âÂ
âRight, er, okay.âÂ
You back up as he passes you. He heads upstairs and you slowly pivot to take in the interior. The pale wood is marked with knots which give it an even more rustic atmosphere and the decor is simple but in a quaintly traditional way. The details etched into the slender drawer of a side table or the dainty trim of the area rug give a lived-in effect.Â
You tiptoe into the front room and hug yourself as you feel a draught whisper in around the window. You find the light switch and flip it on to cast more light across the neatly arranged furniture. There's an old-fashioned iron firestove in the middle of the room, the flue built up to the ceiling. Â
You can hear Clark moving around above. The rest of the house is silent. You look at the old grandfather clock standing against the wall. Itâs just after eleven in the morning.Â
You turn as the stairs creak. Clark appears in the doorway with a sober expression. âMomâs just waking up. It might be a while. She... sheâs having a tough day.âÂ
âOh, Iâm so sorry. Is she sick?âÂ
âShe is and she isnât. Just getting older, you know? Ever since she broke her hip last year, sheâs been a bit slower,â he explains.Â
âOh, gosh, Clark,â you say. âIs there anything I can do to help? You said she was planning on dinner but I can get all that started for her.âÂ
âSure, she usually thaws the turkey in the sink overnight,â he says. âWe should probably start there.âÂ
âRight,â you chew your lip.Â
âItâs nice of you to offer but if itâs too much--âÂ
âNo, no! Itâs cool. Iâve just never stuffed a turkey on my own,â you say. âI was always just an observer.âÂ
Your mother never believed anything was done right unless she did it herself. Then sheâd complain about having to do it.Â
âI can help,â he offers.Â
âSure, sounds like a plan. I think she might appreciate the help, huh?âÂ
He smiles but doesnât answer right away. For a moment, he only stares. He clears his throat and nods at last, âshe wouldâwill.âÂ
âShow me where it all is,â you show your palms, not wanting to presume too much.Â
He beckons you after him as he leads you through the doorway perpendicular to the one you came through. He turns on another light. This place feels desolate with them off.Â
âSo uh...â he begins as he goes to the counter and peeks in the sink, âyep, turkeyâs in here.âÂ
âGreat, hopefully itâs dethawed,â you say. âAlright, do you mind if I poke around?âÂ
âItâs all yours. Iâll try to help but gotta be honest, as a kid, I was out in the field,â he stands back to watch you.Â
âRight,â you come forward to look the turkey over. Good thing is it wonât need extra time due to being half-frozen.Â
âHum... do you know if your mother does stuffing from scratch or a box?â You turn back to him.Â
âScratch, probably,â he shrugs.Â
âCool, uh, I need bread,â you declare. Itâs almost nice being in charge. A very new but refreshing feeling.Â
âš
The smell of turkey wafts from the stove as you work at the other fixings. You follow the list on the fridge. The paper is a bit yellowed but you can read it nonetheless. At least Clarkâs mother is a planner. Although a few of her ingredients are a bit... aged. Nothing you canât use but the spices have a little extra dust on the caps.Â
Clark appears again. Heâs been pacing in and out, helping where he can, but he seems too restless to focus. You tap pause on your phone to stop the music. You donât get any signal out here but you have a bunch downloaded. It helps ease the silence that thickens with the fall of snow.Â
âSo, howâs mom? She doing okay?â You ask.Â
âMom?â He hesitates, âyeah, sheâs getting there. Sorry about this. I know the whole reason you did this was to make her happy. For me. I just didnât expect--â He blows out a heavy breath and leans on the counter. âItâs hard when you get older and everyone you love starts to leave. Or change.âÂ
Your heart flickers. You try not to frown too deep, âIâm sorry, Clark.â You look back down at the bowl of soaking cranberries. You take your family for granted. The might be a little toxic but theyâre there.Â
âNot your fault. I just... I thought I had it figured out with Lois. Everyone was happy and my mom was ecstatic,â he clutches his hands together. You meet his eyes sheepishly. âI just wanted her to be that way again. And youâre so sweet and nice.âÂ
âAw, Clark. Well, you know, I should thank you. At least Iâm not alone on Christmas,â you try to pep yourself up. âUm, I gotta wait for these cranberries a little long. Could I use the bathroom?âÂ
âRight, er, itâs just down the hall,â he points towards the second doorway that interconnects with the same hallway that leads back to the stairs.Â
âThanks,â you wipe your hands on a dishcloth and leave him with a thin smile.Â
As you flit out, your chest sinks. You think of everything youâve said since you got there, how insensitive it must have seemed. And back in the car when you complained about your mom. Ugh, he must think youâre so ungrateful.Â
You close yourself in the bathroom and tend to your business. Youâd been holding it since he picked you up from your building. You wash your hands, pumping the soap bottle hard to dislodge a clog in the tube. You finally finish up but find the smell of mildew stuck to your hands from the towel.Â
You come out of the bathroom and look up and down the hallway. You shift to see the framed picture a bit better. Those must be his parents, and little Clark. You canât believe he was ever that small.Â
There are other pictures across the table below. A cluster of frames; class photos, impromptu snaps of memories, and posed family shots. Beneath one, thereâs a slip of paper. You try not to be intrusive but the fading font catches your eye. You lean in as you tilt the frame to see the full letter, the card bent and forgotten beneath.Â
âOur condolences. We were so sorry to hear of your motherâs passing. Please do let us anything we can do for you.â The message is signed Mallory and Chuck. You blink in confusion. Maybe itâs an old card meant for his mother; for a grandparent.Â
âShe died last year,â Clark startles you so you whip up and nearly tip as you stand straight. âItâs my first Christmas without her,â he continues. âIâm sorry I lied but I didnât want to be alone.âÂ
You shake your head. Confusion swells through your stomach and clouds your brain. The fog clears and your eyes wander up to the ceiling.Â
âYour mom?âÂ
âI miss her,â his voice cracks. âShe took care of me.âÂ
âOh, well, yeah,â you quaver unevenly. Youâre reeling. Why would he lie about that? And to get you here? Youâre just coworkers. âThat must be hard.âÂ
âMhm,â he nods and pouts. As he comes closer, you tense, wavering with his steps. âYouâre not mad at me?âÂ
Your lips part then close. The wind whistles outside and reminds you of how isolated this place is. Clark drove you here...Â
âIâm just... wondering why you need to lie,â you eke out.Â
âI know itâs wrong but... if I told the truth, you might say no.âÂ
You nod and as he reaches for you, you wince away. You hug yourself and push your shoulders up. You swallow, âClark, what is the truth? Why am I here?âÂ
He tilts his head and his eyes drift to the side. The light fades in his pupils and his jaw clenches. His fingers twiddle by his leg.Â
âTo be with me,â he looks at you again and smiles. A smile shadowed sinisterly beneath the worn bulb above. âYouâre alone too.âÂ
You stare at him. Terror floods your veins and paralyses you. You want to turn and run but you wonât get far. All you can do is bide your time and hope that you can find a chance and way to get out. But for now, with him so close, so much bigger, you have to pretend. That is exactly what he asked you to do, after all.Â
#clark kent#dark clark kent#dark!clark kent#clark kent x reader#fic#december daze#dark fic#dark!fic#superman#dcu#dc#navy and roo's sleepover
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Mostly I was responding to the points raised in @scarrletmoon's response, but you raise some excellent points to which I'd like to respond. Feel free to ignore if you're tired of my bullshit. I completely understand the impulse. 1st, you're absolutely right; I was coming across as gate-keepery by saying that I find Stede's eccentricities charming as though that ought be the default experience. For that I apologize. I ought to have taken more care. When I said "And that's valid, but I would say that those are the parts that the crew and Ed grow to love once they embrace those parts of him instead of cringing at them" what I meant to convey is that the experience of 2nd-hand embarrassment when Stede does something that recalls to the viewer times when they have felt ashamed/were made to feel shame because of something they did is absolutely understandable, but we can take heart in Stede being accepted & loved for those parts of him, & find hope that so too may we be embraced for our own quirks & foibles. My intention was to encourage others to be more gentle with & accepting of their own perceived failings, but I can see now that I failed to adequately express that, & for that I am sorry. I do take issue with the suggestion that I am strawmanning, though; I would argue that how one views Stede's motivation & framing absolutely informs the extent to which/moments in which one finds his behavior cringe-worthy. In your original post, you contend Stede is "pretending to be this macho pirate captain who totally knows what he's doing" & your response above adds he's a bad manager & a jerk because he's praising himself & chiding his employees, whom you interpret as him treating as stand-ins for his own children. If that's how you're framing the scenario, then, sure - I can see how his behavior comes across as cringe to you. But that's not at all how I perceived it. I will grant he is pretending more expertise than he actually possesses, but he IS a pirate captain, & as to the attribution of "macho" I absolutely disagree, specifically because he is textually interested in a form of piracy that is not that. Because that is my understanding of the scene, in the debrief scene I see a person excited at the success of what, if Black Pete is to be believed, is their very 1st raid, & doesn't understand why everyone else wasn't also chuffed. He then listens to Wee John' criticism & encourages him to clarify WHY he feels the way he does. When Wee John identifies the lack of a flag as a contributing factor to his disgruntlement, Stede provides materials so they can rectify the deficit. This isn't Stede forcing arts & crafts on these grown-ass men (& Jim) - it's Stede hearing a problem & supplying the means to a solution. Similarly, he hears out Buttons about the crew's dissatisfaction, & tries to rectify it by finding a more appealing target for a raid, even though he obviously feels unequal to the task himself. To me, that's the complete opposite of a bad manager (to me he's a bad manager when he's being dismissive of the crew's input, like the fuckery brainstorming, & even then he climbs down from his high horse & apologizes. Which? GREAT manager!). Where you see Stede infantilizing his crew, I see them taking part in activities that, while generally relegated to childhood, aren't implicitly childish, & of their own volition, & Stede sowing the seeds that will eventually blossom into a found family (not imposing an established family structure). For clarity, I'm not saying my interpretation is objectively right, nor that yours is wrong. I'm just saying framing is going to influence perception of whether Stede's behavior is Cringe, & that's kind of what I was getting at with my myriad examples of Stede behaving "authentically" or "inauthentically" & when that is a viable predictor of a general fandom perception of when Stede is being Cringe. Because I really don't think it is. This is going to continue in the notes because tumlr thinks they can cut my mic.
listen I love stede a lot - I think he's the bravest character in the show. he changes everyone he meets for the better. he embodies what I think of as the thesis of the show. if he wasn't the way that he is, the show would not be very good, imo.
but in ep one he gives his pirate crew notes on the raid they just did as though they were a community theater troupe and his notes were 1) complimenting his own opening speech as "very inspiring" and 2) complaining that that the crew wasn't sufficiently enthusiastic about robbing two poor fisherman of a single plant.
during the raid his narration went "some men are born to be pirate captains, others learn on the job. me? well I'm a pretty solid mix of both" as though he has any idea what he's doing.
and AFTER the raid Olu has to gently point out to him that piracy isn't a game to the rest of the crew.
There's a reason that Rhys Darby was the only person capable of playing Stede without making him seem like a total dick. And I think that's bc Rhys was able to convey the idea that Stede's behavior in the first few eps is coming out of this deep sense of insecurity - he's doing some Stede-y things (flag making! paying the crew! bedtime stories!) that are great but he's also pretending to be this macho pirate captain who totally knows what he's doing. And it's the pretending that makes people cringe with second hand embarrassment. While also, often, seeing themselves in it and feeling a great deal of sympathy for Stede about it.
The reason Stede is like this is because HE thinks there's something deeply wrong with him, a belief that has been solidified by everyone around him his entire life, and therefore he needs to do everything he can to hide that deeply wrong thing about him. When he unpacks that and embraces the things about himself he originally thought were embarrassing (being weak, pathetic, soft, etc), he can stop pretending. And that's when other characters grow to love him! And so people will sometimes call him cringe because they aspire to be cringe like him, to embrace the parts of themselves that they were punished for and live more authentically.
because he changes! that's the point! he moves from cringe (pretending to be someone he's not) to cringe (being true to himself, always a deeply vulnerable thing to be) and it takes a lot of hard work. that's what makes me LIKE him as a character. that's what I think makes him the bravest character on the show. because he doesn't start out perfect. he's a puppet who grows into a real boy and that means that for a period of time he was a puppet, and that's okay.
#In your posts you say 'it's the pretending that makes people cringe with second hand embarrassment' & ''cringe' comes from when#you are trying to pass yourself off as something youâre not *& failing*.' I really can't say I agree. This is what I was trying to get at#when I was talking about the battle robe scene. Stede is pretending bravado when he calls the garment he put on to comfort himself#a 'battle robe' and when he asks for a 'refresher' on defensive maneuvers but no one is fooled by this affectation - not the audience & not#Jim & Olu. But this isn't the part of the scene that's Cringe even though Stede is pretending to be brave & failing badly.#The part that's Cringe is when he tries to claim affiliation with a group to which he doesn't belong & puts Olu in the position of having t#nicely explain why he's wrong. It's not the pretending that's Cringe it's the unexamined privilege & putting someone in an awkward position#I would argue that Cringe comes from the sympathetic recognition that someone is doing something they shouldn't & how you would feel#if you were in their place. I would like to share one of the times I find Ed Cringe that I don't normally see discussed in those terms#in fandom at large; the montage part of the French Party Boat scene when Ed is clowning around. I find this scene hard to watch because I#am intimate with the scenario of thinking you're among friends & being encouraged to act out only to find out later they were only feigning#friendliness & were laughing at rather than with you - with the shame of realizing you erroneously let yourself believe you were liked &#lending credence to the idea that you're *deserving* of derision by people who already held you in contempt by making a fool of yourself.#Again - not saying mine is the correct interpretation of this scene - just explaining how I perceived it.#Because my point is not that Ed *IS* Cringe in this moment but that we should all examine WHY we find a character's behavior Cringe.#WHAT about that scenario invokes that reaction? What messages have we internalized about Correct Social Behavior that is prompting it?#Are those messages valid? Are they something we want to continue to reinforce or would we be happier if we let them go?#This is what I meant when I said we should be cautious about trying to jam all the iterations of Cringe under a single umbrella term.#& why I think it's not useful to reclaim Cringe as an unambiguously positive term.#Because there ARE times when that Cringe response is identifying an actual social transgression.#I'd never say Stede is *never* Cringe 'cos there are times when he absolutely is. Like the 'one of the guys' part of the battle robe scene#When he says he's not a colonizer before the tribal council. Other times? That's more fungible.#& is going to depend a lot on the person perceiving the Cringe behavior & their own internalized deal.#If someone says 'Stede is Cringe & I love him' & means 'I love that he's unapologetically himself & loved for it & wish I was less worried#about what people think so I could be free to express myself like him' that's beautiful & I wish them luck & every happiness.#If what they mean is 'Stede gives zero fucks & has no filters & we should all be more like that' that's not just objectively untrue#it's also not how social contracts work. SOME filters are GOOD. Being aware of which ones you've internalized#& whether they're useful for you or holding you back is also good.#If what they mean as I've unfortunately seen all too often & makes me suspicious when I someone use Cringe as a blanket descriptor of Stede#is 'Look at that buffoon go. What a loser.' Meet me in the Denny's parking lot. I just want to talk. And keep some gates.
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A Love that Burns
Marcus Acacius x f!reader
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A/n: You donât understand the chokehold this man has on me ughhhhh. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy, I wrote this very fast!
Pairing: Marcus Acacius x wife character (I usually do x reader but I really like the name Aurelia so I used that!)
Warnings: fluff, angst, arranged marriage, Curse words, mention of fire, minor injuries, burns. A bit of suicidal ideation. Allusion to smut hehe. 18+ to be safe please. No minors!!
Summary: General Marcus Acaciusâs new bride is troublesome, he doesnât seem to mind though. After an incident occurs she pulls away from him and he canât figure out why.
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âHeâs going to be furiousâŠâ
âSuch a shameâŠdo you think heâll throw her out?â
âHe might⊠we always knew she was trouble but this time sheâs gone too farâŠâ
âPoor dear, I doubt even her father will take her backâŠâ
The roaring flames had long since died down, leaving now only crackling embers and dark clouds of smoke. How much time had passed you didnât know. You hadnât moved from the ground, knees planted on the hard stone, eyes glued to the scene before you.
What was once a grand structure, beautifully carved and molded for someone equally as impressive was now nothing more than a pile on the ground and it was completely your fault.
How had wanting to get a book out of your husbandâs study and lighting a candle to see had gone so wrong?
You shouldâve listened to your conscious, it told you that you shouldnât go into your husbands private building but you knew he had an extensive selection and while you were newly married, barely even a few months he was your husband and you didnât really think he would mind.
In the short time you were married the general had been accommodating and civil, more than civil actually, he had been doing his best to make you feel comfortable. That being said you did barely see him at times due to his duties and when you did it seemed all you did was cause him trouble.
Like that time you accidentally visited the animals one early morning when you were bored and didnât shut the door behind you. Acacius had been abruptly woken up by the clucking of chickens ascending the staircase and running around the halls like it was a party. You had been redder than a pomegranate when you realized your mistake.
Or that time you lost your wedding necklace and spent hours wading in the lake where the laundry was washed thinking it fell there. Youâd never forget the feeling when Acacius strode through the gates in tow with fellow commanders for a meeting but everyone froze seeing the comical sight of you, a highborn lady dress pulled up and soaking wet. That time made you want to drown yourself right then and there.
Oh and how could you forget the time you wanted to show your appreciation by baking his favorite dessert according to the maids and thought adding some cinnamon youâd bought in town was a good idea. Not even bothering to wonder why the kitchens didnât have cinnamon in the first place⊠turns out the reason was a good one, the general had an allergy.
This time it was his face that was redder than yours⊠you didnât face him for days after that..
There were so many moments like that but somehow each time he didnât get angry like you expected. He didnât yell or scold you.
When you bit your fingers nervously watching the servants try to catch the chickens he slowly walked out, surveyed the scene in what you could guess was mild disbelief and perhaps a bit of amusement, looked at you then turned back to go back to sleep.
When you were soaked in the lake he quickly regained the menâs attention, led them inside then a few minutes later reappeared with some haste. You didnât get a chance to protest when he stepped in and pulled you out by your arm. Still he didnât yell, he did start to scold a bit though because you were shivering, but when you suddenly yelped and squirmed reaching in your dress and pulled revealing a flopping fish with your necklace around it he lost all his words. You celebrated while he just started in disbelief.
And when you literally poisoned him you sobbed beside him as the healer frantically gave him several mixtures and an injection of some sort. You apologized over and over like a parrot. When he could finally breathe again, he closed his eyes exhausted but said, âDonât cry, it tasted great..â
All those times he was so kind, unlike any other man youâd met before. To think you had been so afraid of the arranged marriage and now all you could think was how he deserved someone so much better.
He was older and saw you as a child you were sure of it. You wished you could act like the other wives, but you just couldnât.
Your eyes glazed watched the flickers before you as if in a trance.
Youâd burned his favorite place in the villa. A building constructed years ago that served as his study, his place of comfort, his safe space. Heâd showed it to you when you first got married. Youâd been amazed at how beautiful it was on the inside.
You could see on his face how this place made him relaxed compared to the rest of the villa.
And now it was gone..
The whispers of the servants were muffled around you but you caught them all the same.
You couldnât find the strength to move, maybe you should have at least moved back, away from the falling ash and debris but you couldnât.
You ruined everything, just like alwaysâŠ
There was some more muffling amongst the crackling, some sounds you didnât register, couldnât register⊠then a sharp yell. A tone you didnât recognize.
âWhy is she-!â
There was pressure on your shoulders but still you couldnât look away.
All gone⊠all your faultâŠ
You think you heard something loud but couldnât understand it.
The pressure increased⊠so did the shouting but still you couldnât look away.
It wasnât until you saw the burnt pile get smaller that you realized you were being pulled- no carried away.
You felt so disoriented, everything in your vision jerking and you realized whoever was moving you was running.
The scene was still in view but further away, your eyes not daring to look away. You did however register that you abruptly stopped moving and were sat on something upright. The pressure returned to your head then arms then body.
Yelling, someone was yelling in your ear but it wasnât until the pressure reached your face and you were forced to look away from the scene.
Eyes, wide and frantic, searched yours. Lips opened and shouted something you still could not understand. But the face you knew all too well. The one you wronged, the one you did a horrible misdeed to. Acacius.
You inhaled loudly, more of a gasp then coughed. Suddenly you felt everything crash into you at once, from when you were numb a moment ago now you burned in pain, lungs on fire, skin itchy and stinging, eyes feeling like the sun itself were upon them. You coughed and sputtered uncontrollably, breathing a foreign concept to you.
His strong hands at your back and arm. Almost cradling you was a strong contrast to his shouts that you could now hear louder than ever.
âBreathe, easy, easy- Dammit why did no one move her! Call the healer now!â He barked behind him.
Angry he was angry. Of course he was, even gentle and kind men like him had limits, limits that youâd crossed by battlefields.
Hot tears came, still you coughed, you wondered how long you could continue like that before losing consciousness, there were already spots in your vision. The sobbing now made it worse.
âShh shh breathe itâs alright, just breathe for me wife, all is well, shh look Iâm here, youâre safeâ he pulled you into his lap holding you firmly in the hopes youâd calm down. He kept whispering to you, pleading and eventually the coughing stopped. You wondered how much more smoke it wouldâve taken to kill youâŠ
âThatâs it, youâre safe, shh just breathe, Iâm hereâ more tears emerged as you registered his words for the first time. How horrible you felt to have this angel of a man cradling you and comforting you when you just burned down his sanctuary.
It would have been easier on your heart had he yelled and thrown you aside.
âThe healer is here!â Someone called out, your eyes were closed on his chest but you heard everything around you.
Swiftly you were lifted in his arms and carried to his chambers. The healer immediately got to work peeling back the fabric you only now noticed was dark as ash and singed in many places. Acacius stood behind her as close as he could without getting in her way. You watched as his eyes scanned your form, concern etched as he took in all the burns and scrapes. Your heart couldnât handle it, he deserved a woman 100times better than you. You shut your eyes of the heartache ignoring the healer telling you to stay awake, moments later you were unconscious.
**************************************************
Stinging pain roused you, you wanted to cry out because your body was screaming at you. You were alone in the room, but by the moonlight shining through and how exausted you felt you didnât think you had been unconscious long. Fresh tears escaped and you didnât bother to wipe them.
You sat up in raw agony realizing just how many injures you sustained. Your skin was covered in loose bandages and shiny from salve. Sitting so close at the time you didnât feel anything but clearly you were affected.
Shouting from below had your head whipping to the window.
With great effort and pain you stood on shaky legs and approached the opening peeking your head outside, you squinted and saw figured in the yard.
You choked out a sob when you realized what was happening. Acacius was yelling⊠yelling at the servants and guards for not moving you. Yes they put out most of the fire but didnât bother with you. You hardly blamed them, you were a burden, an embarrassment of a lady to the great house hold. Perhaps they wanted you to die, actually it would have been easier if you did.
You couldnât bare to listen to it anymore, guilt eating you alive. For some reason you had to see it again. To confirm what you had doneâŠ
You ignored all the pain and like a ghost descended the staircase.
When you reached the bottom you sucked in a breathe before walking forward where the smell of smoke was still heavy and thick.
And there it was, like a brand on your heart the scene of your crime. There were no more embers, just wood and ash. You walked closer until you stepped on something.
You moved your sandal revealing a silver medal covered in soot. You remembered how proudly it hung on one of the walls. And now it was beneath rubble and dirt.
Two hands found your mouth as you let out a cry.
âHeavens What have I done?â The strangled voice sounded stranger to you.
âWhat have I done, what have I doneâ you whispered achingly.
âAurelia!â
You choked again hearing his voice, you couldnât bring your self to look just yet.
âAurelia what are you doing!? Why are you up!?â He rounded you hands finding your shoulders.
Acacius waited for your answer but you had none, only fresh tears. He barely hesitated before reaching down and scooping you up.
âI can walk-â you tried to say but it was unintelligible through your tears, you didnât want to burden this man ever again, not for anything.
He glanced at you for a moment but continued his quick pace to the bedroom. He laid you gently on the bed, his concern growing at the endless tears.
âAre you in pain? Let me call the healer back-â he was already halfway out again.
âNo-! no Iâm fine Iâm fine donât call Iâm fine!â You cried out but tried to collect yourself to not worry him more. The truth is your body was on fire but you would never burden this man again.
He hesitated but listened and approached you again, âThen what is it? Are you afraid? Everythingâs alright now, your safeâ.
You bit your lip to keep in the cry. How could he be so kind?
âAurelia? Tell me please, what is it?â He kneeled beside you a helpless expression on his face.
âI-I Iâm so- im so sorry, Iâm sorry- I donât know how- I was in there for a b-book and lit some candles I donât even know how it h-happened I-I-â
Your breathing was becoming erratic again but once you started apologizing you couldnât stop
âIâm so s-sorry Acacius Iâm so sorryâ you buried your face in your hands.
âAurelia shh itâs alright, donât cry, itâs nothing that canât be replaced, donât apologize, you need to breathe alright?â
You barely heard him, but you needed him to know how sorry you were, even if you didnât deserve forgiveness.
âIâm so sorry, Iâm sorryâ you continued.
âAurelia-â
âIâm s-sorryâ
âAurelia stop youâll hurt yourself more!â He kneeled on the bed pulling you closer to him, worried that if you didnât calm down you would go into another coughing fit.
âShh itâs alright, Iâm not angry, all that matters is youâre safe. Please calm down, can you breathe slowly for me? Look, follow my breatheâŠâ
âThatâs it, breathe in and out just like that, good girlâŠâ he held you close and you felt your eyes begin to droop, exhaustion taking its toll. He sighed when your last words were a whispered apology.
***************************************************
The next day you were miserable, the burns although mostly shallow still caused great pain. Mentally you were a wreck, replaying the events over and over.
The healer told you you needed to rest for several days so thatâs what Acacius made sure you did. He visited often but you couldnât bring yourself to speak hardly a thing out of shame. Most times you just pretended you were asleep.
A week passed and you were allowed to get up as normal just to take it easy. Acacius had gone out for some business luckily because you didnât think you had the strength to face him.
As you descended the stairs you tried to ignore the whispers of the servants. They all thought the same thing you were repeating in your mind.
Burden
Shameful
Useless
You sighed shakily nearing the now cleaned land where the structure once stood. His kindness made you feel horrible. You wish he would yell and scream at you, for you deserved all the bad words
You spent the day aimlessly wandering and thinking until you tired yourself out and retired to your chambers.
A jar of salve was left by your bed from the healer for the pain but you didnât open it. You deserved every single sting and ache.
The next day you hardly felt like getting up so you didnât. Food was brought, you didnât bother eating it, instead you gave it to the birds outside the window.
In your solitude you came to a resolve. You would resist every urge, every inkling of your old reckless self. Acacius deserved someone who was 100 times the woman you were but since you were bound all you could do was at least not give him any more trouble. Another week passed, Acacius had been gone for some military business and it was easier that way.
It had been a whole nother week when Acacius finally arrived back to the villa. He dismounted his horse with a sigh. He did not want to be gone so long but he could hardly deny the emperors requests.
Tiredly he walked through the gates, scanning for signs of you. It was unusual to not see you flitting about.
A servant approached and helped him remove his cape.
âThe Lady, how is she?â
The servant frowned a bit, âMy Lady has been⊠resting these past weeks. Weâve not seen much of her.â
He frowned at that. Her wounds were not so terrible to have her bedridden so long. So what was wrong with his wife?
He nodded to the servant and made way directly to her chambers.
He knocked on the door listening for her voice.
âCome inâ you called expecting a servant with food.
You were sat on the bench by the window staring out.
âMy Lady..â he said almost hesitant.
Your head whipped to the side, eyes widened seeing your husband.
âA-Acacius⊠I didnât know you were backâŠâ
He walked inside and shut the door behind him.
âAre you well? The servants tell me you havenât left the room much..â he stepped closer taking you in. Your sunken face, the way your eyes werenât lit up with that sparkle he loved.
âIâm alright, thank you..â he frowned, not quite satisfied with the answer.
âYour wounds are healed?â
You nodded quickly.
He nodded then cleared his throat in the awkward silence that followed, âThen why havenât you been out?â
You thought of what to say for a moment, âI⊠no reason, just resting I supposeâ
Another answer that didnât satisfy him but he decided not to pry. If you didnât want to speak he wouldnât make you uncomfortable.
âWell Iâll be in my chambers should you need anythingâŠâ
âThank you..â and with that he left shutting the door behind him. You bit your lip forcing the tears not to come. How dare you cry when heâs the one who should be upset. Get it together.
Several more days pass and Acacius was growing frustrated. You barely left the room, choosing to take your meals inside even when he was home. He only caught glimpses of you here or there on the occasional walk around the garden but even that was becoming rare. Where was his wife who was always flitting around singing something off tune or getting into trouble. He recalled the time he awoke to clucking outside his door, and the time he found you skirts tied comically splashing in the lake, then of course when you so happily baked for him flour marks on your face. He smiled fondly at the memories, then frowned.
Why had you suddenly changed so much? Had he done something? He knew the fire shook you up but perhaps he said something unintentional? Did you overhear him yelling at the staff and resented him for it? He was going mad.
It took another few days before his patience finally ran out and he all but burst into your room.
âA-Acacius?! What-â you startled dropping the book in your hands.
âTell me what it isâ he demanded a bit out of breathe.
âW-what?â
âTell me whatâs wrong or what Iâve done to upset you into seclusionâ
âAcacius youâve done nothing wrong I swearâŠâ
âThen what is it? Why have you been avoiding me? What has upset you so much that youâve locked yourself away?â
You didnât expect this, so you really didnât know what to say.
âI⊠I think itâs better this wayâŠâ
His eyebrows furrowed a bit trying to make sense of what you just said. âI donât understand, whatâs better?â
You fiddled with your hands and had a hard time making eye contact so you chose a lovely spot on the floor instead.
âItâs better that I donâtâŠ. cause problems..â heavens was that a lot harder to say out loud than you thought.
This definitely took him aback.
âWhat?â
Oh no was he upset now? He surely looked it.. maybe you should have explained better.
âI-I mean⊠Iâm always causing you trouble and getting into situations that I shouldnât⊠I figured it would be better if I spent more time hereâŠ.â
He was quiet for a while, his face undeniably confused and upset.
âAnd you decided this all on your own?â He said in a tone that you were a bit nervous about. Calm but hidden anger.
âI-I⊠yes..â
âSo your plan is to live out the rest of your days between these four walls?â He couldnât hold back a scoff. His annoyance seeping through his usually calm demeanor with you.
ââŠ.Itâs better-â
He clicked his tongue in annoyance âBetter? Better for who exactly?â
âAcacius all I do is cause you trouble! Iâve been embarrassing you since we wed, the entire household thinks Iâm a burden and theyâre right, I cannot-I will not burden you anymore especially after-âŠâ you couldnât bring yourself to mention the fire. With a shakey breath you gathered yourself and continued.
âI just donât want to upset you anymoreâŠâ you confessed.
The silence was deafening, your heart squeezing so much you were afraid it was going to burst.
âYou know out of everything thatâs happened between us I think this is the only time Iâve been truly upset.â
You eyed him swallowing dryly taking in his clenched jaw and crossed arms.
âAcaciusâŠâ
âYou donât get to decide this all on your own, and you especially donât get to decide how I feel.â
ââŠâ
âHave I ever been cross with you? Made you feel as if youâve shamed me?â
âWell no but-â
âThen why?â In two strides he was upon you looking down.
âWhy did you suddenly decide that I would like it more if you hid yourself away?â
âBecause if Iâm here not causing you problems then wouldnât it be easier for youâŠ?â You wrung your hands together, anxiety heightening with every moment.
âFuck thatâ
You jumped a bit startled that those words came out of his mouth.
âW-what?â
âCause me problemsâ
âAcacius-â
âBreak things, scream shout, bring the whole villa down if you wish it but you will not lock yourself up like a prisoner. Youâre my wife, Iâd like to actually have you around.â
âYou⊠youâre just saying that because youâre too kind Acacius⊠but my heart canât take it anymore. I did something so awful and I know you must be upsetâŠâ
âIs this about the fire then?â
ââŠâ
âThings can be replaced, nothing that burned cannot be bought again or rebuilt.â
âB-but you loved that place. It was your sanctuaryâ
âI did love it, but itâs gone now and I hardly think about it, itâll be rebuilt soon enough not that it really matters. What matters is that youâre safe and sound.â
âHow can you be so kind? So patient so-so perfectâ he scoffed at the last one in mild amusement.
âAcacius itâs true! Iâve never met someone so gentle and sweetâ
âGentle and sweet..Iâll be sure to add that to my title right after general or Romeâ
âYou joke but itâs the truthâŠâ you look down at your sandals.
He sighed before lifting your chin up with his warm fingers then caressing your face, wiping away your tears with his thumb.
âTell me something wife, have you seen me act that way with anyone else?â
âWellâŠâ you thought about it. He was civil with everyone.. stern a lot, with servants and his men and well everyone elseâŠ
âAnd why do you think that is hm?â
âWell⊠I assume itâs because you see me more as a childâŠâ
âA child.â He repeated.
You nodded.
âAurelia you are never allowed to assume anything ever againâ
âWhat?â
âYou truly think thatâs how I see you? That I treat you kindly because I pity you?â
âWellâŠthen why?â You asked genuinely confused.
âWhy treat my wife with care? Why worry for her? Why speak gentle words? Why shower her with gifts? Tell me Aurelia why does a man do those things for a woman?â
âI⊠I assumed-um well I believed that you were just..â
âJust what? Doing that out of duty? Is it so impossible to imagine that I love my wife and want her to be happy?â
ââŠ.â Your eyes widened larger than the sun. You hardly believed the words. So you asked him in a whisper.
âW-what did you s-say?â
Instead of answering he leaned forward closing the distance with a soft kiss.
âDoes that answer your question?â He breathed in the few inches between your lips.
You shook your head no and leaned in. You felt the smirk against his lips. After several moments you pulled back to regard him.
âI never imagined youâd feel the same wayâŠI still donât think I believe itâŠâ
âLike I said, youâre forbidden to assume things from now on wifeâ
âI⊠Iâm sorryâŠâ his hands settled at your waist, his smell flooding your senses.
âMake it up to meâŠâ
You felt the heat rise in your cheeks but didnât want to disappoint. You wrapped your arms around him pulling him into a deeper kiss full of emotion.
âNever allow such thoughts in your mind again, and youâre wrong, youâre not a burden. Yes Iâll admit you have a habit of getting into unique situations but I donât mind, in fact I look forward to what surprises await me each day.â
âDo you really mean it? Even if I do awful thingsâŠ? â
âYes I mean it.. although I will draw the line at one thing, never do anything to put yourself in danger. When I saw you by the flames I-â he paused sucking in a breathe.
And that moment you heart finally caught up with your head because no man could fake the emotions on his face like that.
You hugged him whispering an apology into his shoulder.
âYouâve apologized enough for a lifetime, come, dine with me, youâve lost weightâŠâ you nod letting him pull you by the hand out the door.
You heard some voices and frowned, anxiety creeping up again.
Ever the perfect man he caught on immediately.
âWhat is it?â
âThe servants⊠itâs been hard to be around them⊠you might accept me for who I am but they havenâtâŠâ
âI wouldnât worry about itâ
You cocked your head a bit at his amused tone, âwhy?â
âBecause I fired them allâ.
âAcacius!â
âDonât protest, itâs done. I blame myself for not realizing what heartless people resided in my home. Besides I think youâll like the new staff a lot better..â
You descended the staircase still confused why he seemed so smug until you heard voices you hadnât heard in months.
âMy Lady!â
âMy Lady weâre here!â
âOh how weâve missed you!â
You couldnât contain the loud gasp when your eyes landed on the familiar faces below. The staff that practically raised you was beaming up at you with joy.
âOh my- Marika! Cicero! Diana! Felix! Ahh youâre all here!â You practically jumped from the staircase onto the group of your favorite people in the world.
Acacius couldnât help but chuckle as the group enveloped you pulling you in, hugging and kissing you. Hardly the kind of servants he was used to but now he understood why you were so saddened to leave them behind. After your embraces you pulled back.
âWhat are you doing here? Is Father here?â
âYou mean you donât know?â The words would have worried you had everyone not been smiling ear to ear.
âKnow what?â The general has employed us all here.
âW-what?!â You snapped your head to your grinning husband.
âB-but how did you- father mustâve been- h-how!?â
He laughed and descended the last couple steps, âI can be very persuasive if I need to be dear wife.â
âOh- oh I donât believe this!â you couldnât contain your joy and parted from the group to jump on your husband who stumbled a bit but caught you of course. You kissed him then and there not caring who was watching- well in fact you didnât care because everyone in the room were people you loved and felt safe with.
He was a bit surprised but when you pulled back his face was quickly morphed into fondness and satisfaction that the gleam in your eye was back.
âThere she is..â you sighed happily hugging him once more then ran back to the awaiting group.
Well actually you made it halfway before pausing, turning around with an unsure look, and walking slowly back to him.
He tilted his head curious, âAcacius⊠will you⊠will you allow me to properly thank you⊠tonight? If thatâs- if thatâs something youâd like⊠or-â your face that lovely shade of red heâd come to admire.
âSomething Iâd like?â He scoffed and for a moment you were afraid until you saw the expression in his eyes.
âWell I didnât want to assume⊠youâve forbidden it remember.â He smirked leaning down by your ear so only you could hear him.
âListen well wife. This is the only exception you may always assume...â You shivered feeling his breathe caress your ear.
Gentle and sweet and now you had a new word to add, although you couldnât quite find the right one just yet. But oh were you ever so eager to find outâŠ
***************************************************
Is it getting hot in here guys?? No? Just me? Anywayyyy hope you enjoyed. I threw this up in one sitting so forgive all the mistakes. I finally saw the movie and wow, who knew they could fit so many hot men on one screen.
Also can anyone think of a better title lolđ
#gladiator 2#fluff#angst#smut#marcus acacius#general acacius#acacius x reader#gladiator ii#arranged marriage#injury#wife#Acacius x wife#Acacius#fanfic#romance#funny#x reader#general acacius x reader#self insert#general acacius x you#Acacius x you#pedro pascal#marcus acacius x reader#Marcus Acacius fanfiction#emperor geta#geta
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Hi! I just saw your first post about our beloved Kremnos prince, Mydei, and I absolutely love it! â€ïž You captured his character so beautifully, especially his views on love and romance. I adore how meticulous and accurate you were in portraying himâI completely see him that way too! Our prince carries the heavy burden of his family's royal lineage and the countless people who rely on him in the name of Kremnos. This perfectly explains his inexperience with love and romanceâhe simply has no time or hasn't been able to find someone to share such a connection with. I absolutely love how you portrayed his behavior when he finally discovers someone he can truly open his soul to! Itâs so beautifully done! â€ïž I wonderâhave you ever thought about Mydei letting his lover take the lead in bed? Whether itâs because of his inexperience or his eagerness to explore, the idea is so captivating. I love imagining Mydei finally letting go, allowing himself to be passionately ravished as he releases all the pent-up stress and burdens heâs carried for so long. It feels so fitting for his characterâa vulnerable yet liberating moment where he can truly surrender and experience love in its rawest form. àŽŠà”àŽŠàŽż(ïœĄâąÌ ,<)~â©â§â
OH MY !! I wasn't expecting such a lovely response at all, I'm so flustered, thank you so so much !!! I'm glad we share an opinion and I'm so glad you like how I portrayed him !!! I was hoping people would see The Visionâą so I'm beyond happy to know that not only has it reached, but others see it too ~! I'm very overwhelmed with the positive responses, and I'm more than happy to be sharing a space with so many fellow Mydei fans!! I finished the quest today and haven't been okay about him since, I hope he doesn't get sidelined too much as the story progresses and more characters get introduced because I sincerely love him so, so much <3
Again, thank you for your kind words!! They mean so much to me!!
And as for that lovely idea... muehehe let's get to it then ! (ïœĄâąÌáŽ-)⧠I hope I can do it justice !
â NSFW! MDNI! No spoilers!
Love. In it's rawest form.
He knew he could let you take control. All your midnight rendezvous so far had him taking the lead. It just simply felt natural to be the one to drop you on your back â hand behind your head to soften your impact against the already soft mattress â and pleasure you until you can't take any more. Until all you can do is scream his name endlessly. Until you forget there were Titans out there to worship instead of him. That was his role towards you, it felt only natural. He didn't mind it one bit, he was more than happy with it. Steadied above you by the strength of his arms, staring at the gorgeous sight of you unraveling underneath him, your expressions, the eye contact, your nails on his back. It was divine.
Sometimes, you two would spice it up a bit by making slight changes. Trying a few new positions. You were both still so new to this, taking it really slow to remain comfortable. Yet so eager to explore more of each other, of love, and sex, intimacy. Although he understands there's no shame in having discussions about these things beforehand, it still felt easier for him to learn through action. If something bothered either of you, neither would hesitate to express it, and everything halts. He's not an animal. He understands boundaries, limits, preferences, comfort.. he doesn't shy away from expressing his own, and wants you to always be equally as comfortable. Love is not meant to be uncomfortable.
For example, one thing Mydei found he doesn't like is when you're on all fours and he's taking you from behind.
The position felt... Uncomfortable to him in a strange way. He found it felt a bit degrading to you, and it prevented him from seeing your face and expressions. Which upset him when he came to realize that not staring at your beautiful face while he's making love to you takes away so much of the intimacy that brings him comfort during these activities. He loves watching your reactions. He even likes talking to you through it. Lacking that made him feel vulnerable in a way. So after you were done, he told you how he felt, and that was the last time the position was used. Simple as that.
You had both been thinking about bringing it up, but wondering how to approach it.
He might not look like it, but when it came to this newfound love, he was so no less eager to discover everything that came with it. He wanted to know everything about you and show you everything about him. He wanted to know how to kiss you in the right ways, how to hold you with a grip that's balanced between protective and loving, how to be there for you in a way that doesn't suffocate you, where on your body to put his lips so that he drives you insane, what pace of thrusts makes you see stars in the glory of Kephale's morning...
And through it, he discovers himself. He's learning along with you. He doesn't know much about these parts of who he is, he's endlessly grateful you've given him this opportunity to learn and get to know himself more. And his recent thought is that it might be nice if sometime, you were to get on top of him and ravish him the way he usually does to you.
But, that can't be right? He can't ask you to do that, can he? Is he allowed to want this? Shouldn't it be his job to pleasure you and take care of you? It might be shameful if he wanted to just sit back and let you do all the work...
You, on the other hand, were thinking about it endlessly. Wanting to watch him relax, watch him unwind. Wanting to be the one giving him pleasure for once, he deserves it. He takes so much care of you, always putting you above himself, in every aspect. Even outside of your relationship, he's always putting others first. Prioritizing Phainon's safety over his own, even the two outsiders above himself. Putting the city of Okhema and it's citizens safety first, putting the wants of his people above his own... He's never given enough credit for how much of himself he sacrifices everyday for others, because they view him as too distant, too rough, too cold... His actions speak louder than his words, and his actions are constantly putting himself in harm's way if it meant someone else would be safe.
So, for once, he deserves to turn his mind off. Turn off his senses and his desire to please. To just enjoy being taken care of, being loved, being thanked for everything.
So when midnight came around (or the hour people got used to being midnight, not like the endless sunlight indicated much for them) and you two found yourself tangled up in the usual dance that happens so often, you decided it's now or never. As Mydei began to slowly guide you towards the mattress, lips never once leaving yours, you turned your position around an dropped him down instead. The sudden movement broke the kiss and left him with an expression of shock on his face, staring at you questioning what just happened. You smile at him and gently push him up a bit more, letting him get entirely comfortable on the bed. He follows your lead slowly, unsure where this is going, but curious to see what you're up to. Your expression remained calm, a smile that looks almost like a smirk, mischief and adoration in your eyes as you stared into his fiery gold ones. "let me take care of you" you broke the silence by saying. His mouth opened slightly, as if to answer, before it closed again after not finding the right words. His eyebrows furrow in confusion as he doesn't break eye contact, "take care of me?" He asks, tone full of uncertainty. You nod, "you're always taking the lead. In battle, in bed.. why don't you just let me thank you this time, hm?" Your voice came out soft and gentle as you began to straddle him, hands pushing him down slightly so he can be fully relaxed into the comfortable bed and he follows your every silent order as you get yourself comfortable on top of him. His lap, your throne.
This is what he's been thinking of. He should be happy. But he finds himself feeling a bit guilty, like he doesn't deserve it, like this isn't fair to you, and that prevents him from relaxing entirely. The worry on his expression was clear to you, you understood each other through the tiniest of microexpressions, and you could tell what he was thinking. "You're worth everything" is all what you say in response to soothe your worries, deciding to follow in his example and let your actions speak louder than your words.
You pressed your lips in kiss gently, moving against his in a soft rhythm that felt too innocent considering the moment blooming between the two of you. His hand came up to grip the back of your head carefully, letting you do what you want and following along as best he can. Your hand on the other end got to working off the armor on his body, shedding away the last piece of protection that separates his bare body from you, thinking to yourself how grateful you are that he trusts you to this extent, to allow himself to be this vulnerable and unprotected in your presence. His hands shift as they help you take off his clothing, the sound of metal hitting the ground resonating as more and more pieces are thrown off to the floor carelessly until he was naked. Although it was all about him tonight, you still pulled away to strip yourself as well, not wanting him to feel an imbalance in the dynamic between the two of you. As soon as you were naked, he leaned in to kiss you again but you dodged his lips with a playfully chuckle, he lets out a sulking scoff in response.
You begin to kiss his jaw, running your tongue over the spot you knew he liked, before you slowly went down to his neck. Your arms wrapped around his waist to drag your chest flush against his, wanting to feel him as close as you can as your lips continued to explore his neck, as perfectly sculpted as everything else about him is.
Marks left shamelessly decorating his neck, paying no mind to how easily they can be seen through the little clothing he wears. Your hands and mouth worked in tandem to assure his pleasure, one hand busying itself rubbing his length up and down slowly, another playing with his chest, as your mouth kept leaving kisses and bites and hickeys all over his neck and collarbones, tongue tracing over the red marks adorning his torso. His breathing heavy, his chest heaving up and down quickly, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise them, shameless moans and grunts and groans coming from above you. Sneaking a peek over to look at him, his eyebrows are pressed together tightly in pleasure as his eyes are closed shut, head leaning back, sweat dripping down his forehead.. a divine sight. One that motivated you to work even harder to pleasure him. Your mouth left his neck and went down to take a nipple in your mouth, earning you a harsh jolt of his entire body that made you yelp. "Sorry.." he apologizes sheepishly, face red as his hands try to distract you by roaming all over your body. You suppress a chuckle and plant a quick smooch on his lips to tease him, and he lets out a quiet groan as he rolls his eyes at you. You get back to what you were doing, sucking his nipple the way he does to yours, hand playing with the other way, all while your other hand never left his length, giving him just enough friction to stay excited, never enough to cum.
Eventually you let go of his chest and pull back for a minute to admire your work so far, admire how he already looks spent despite you barely being halfway through your mission. He'll complain and scold you for all the marks left across his torso tomorrow morning, but you'll deal with that problem later, currently you feel proud of yourself. Your gaze moves over to the vein on his bicep and your nail drags against it softly, idly, as you consider your next move. He stares at you wordlessly, anticipating what's next. He might not be admitting it through words, but he is entirely enjoying this. He doesn't understand why he'd hear some men complain about feeling their pride sting if they ever let their partners take the lead, if anything, Mydei has never felt more like a king than he does in this moment, all the attention on him as he's practically being worshipped. He feels so powerful, but most importantly, so loved.
You make eye contact with him again, a gentle expression as the friction between your gazes could practically be seen as sparks of electricity. "I love you" he says, breaking the silence but igniting that flickering flame that needed a fuse. You smile, not responding, but instead immediately pushing yourself down to the ground to kneel in front of him, preferring to answer him with more service. He props himself up on his elbows to keep watching you intently, as you wrap your arm around his length again, and bring your lips to it. He's used to gripping your hair when you go down on him, guiding you to the pace he prefers, but this time when he grips he makes no other moves, trusting to let you take the lead entirely how you want to. You won't deny him his pleasure after all, it's you.
At times he has the most random thoughts. Like if the walls are actually thinner than he thinks. Like if anyone on the other end can hear the mighty crown prince moaning out his partner's name. Like if Aglaea's golden threads can even pick stuff like this up, oh no ....
But a jolt of pleasure brings his thoughts back to reality as he redirects his attention back to you.
He isn't ashamed of what he has with you. He's afraid of where it might take him. Of how much he's willing to do for you. He knows every minute spent with you indulging in romance and desires is playing with fire while he's made of gasoline. And he'll burn down to ashes in his most graceless moments when he's bare under your gaze that burns gold into his skin, liquifying his flames into a puddle of adoration for you.
While maintaining eye contact with you, a silent exchange of vulnerability, it spoke an endless capacity. An unspoken sentence of 'Yđ°đ¶ đŹđŻđ°đž đŠđčđąđ€đ”đđș đ©đ°đž đźđ¶đ€đ© đ±đ°đžđŠđł đșđ°đ¶ đ©đąđ·đŠ đ°đ·đŠđł đźđŠ' ringing loudly in your ears. 'đ„đ°đŻ'đ” đąđŁđ¶đŽđŠ đźđș đąđ§đ§đŠđ€đ”đȘđ°đŻđŽ'.
You brought out the best out of each other, but simultaneously the ugliest human parts as well. Brought out the honesty he's hid from others and himself, brought out the desires he's kept ignored without caring about the hole they were digging in his soul. Gnawing away at his very being and turning him hollow. Brought out the love he was afraid to ever confront. But he's here now, confronting it and ruling over it's court. And tonight is the summit of Mydei's seemingly pathetic life. The two of you are wrapped up in a galaxy of your sins; summed down to nothing but a constellation of the most raw human desires. Who were the titans to demand worship when they knew nothing of what true religion was. This was a ritual. An exchange of souls. It meant more to Mydei than anything else has. This was raw, this was love. He could live in a reel of this night replaying endlessly forever.
The rest of this cursed world could matter later, to hell with every prophecy that demands his presence, nothing felt more worth experiencing in this moment than your mouth on him and your heat surrounding him and your praises spilling against him and your touch killing him and bringing him to life a thousand times over in this bed.
This was love in it's rawest form, and they can call Phainon the chosen one all they want, but Mydei feels like he's received the greatest blessings this universe has to offer him when he made eye contact with you the first time, and if the black tide was to eventually swallow even the last standing holy city, then to hell with all of it if you'd still be by his side.
#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail mydei#hsr mydei#mydei smut#mydei x reader#mydei x reader smut
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My Golden Girl â§âË â
One Shot (Request)
àŹł Kaiser loves his generous golden girl, but he hates it when people take advantage of her kindness
àŹł character; michael kaiser (bllk)
àŹł tags; afab reader, no y/n, FLOOF, soft mihya
[đ]: This takes place before the Blue Lock project, so Kaiser should still be in Germany and practicing with Bastard.
The moon can only shine at night because of the sun.
That's what your relationship is like with Kaiser.
He honestly had no idea where he'd be without you. There were days when he felt like he was slowly losing himselfâdrowning in the pressure to remain at the top. But as he teeters on the edge, you always come to pull him right back in.
Your sweet words at the end of his day were enough to keep him grounded. As a matter of fact, you barely needed to do much to pacify him. But knowing youâyou would go over and beyond for him. Seriously. It puzzles him why someone as pure as you would mess around with someone like him.
But who was he to question you?
"Yo, your girlfriend's been here for like an hour. Have you even seen her already?" Kaiser snaps out of his daydream as the locker room door swings open. It was some guy from his team who he never really bothered to remember the name of. His gaze follows his teammate as he saunters over to his locker.
"Eh... but she's out helping the managers again." That's when his attention was truly caught. "She's what?" "Y'know... handing out bottles and stuff. You should ask her to become a manager too. She'll fit right in." Tsk.
Kaiser shakes his head and grabs the towel off of his head. He aimlessly chucks the piece of fabric to the side and gets up without another word.
His teammate watchesâdumbfoundedâat the lack of a response. "Hey, Kai-"
But as soon as he spoke, Kaiser was already out of the door.
He wasn't angry or annoyed that you showed up unannounced. Truthfully, he didn't know what he felt. There was a reason why he avoided bringing you or inviting you to his practices.
You were too kind for your own good and the people here aren't shy about taking advantage of you.
Kaiser was stuck between a rock and hard place. One on hand, he loved that you cared enough about him to go out of your way even help the management or even his team. He couldn't bring himself to scold anyoneâespecially not you. On another, he knew what they were doing to you. They pretended to be all nice and sweet when asking you favors. But don't they have any shame asking so much from you?
Just like what Mr. Forgettable Name said earlier, you were almost like a manager here. But, fuck that. You're supposed to be a guest. You're his girlfriend, so you deserve nothing but the best treatment.
Yet, here he wasâwatching you as you scurry around, handing water bottles to his... not teammates. What the hell were you even doing giving water to the second string players? Jesus. He wasn't even sure if they were on the second string.
The more he observed, the angrier he became. Someone better hold him back and tell him what he just witnessed wasn't what he thought because one of the players definitely handed you an empty bottleâwhich, of course, you threw in the trash for him.
Sure, he's probably tired from running all day and yeah, you were closer to the trash bin. But who the fuck does he think he is to ask you of something like that?
He didn't even notice that his legs moved on their own. His body wanted nothing but to walk over to you. Never mind what his heart was telling him.
"Hey."
You spun around, knowing whose voice it was that almost startled you. His bright blue eyes peered down at you and he seemed... a bit pissed.
"Sorry... I know I should've told you that I was coming today, but-" Kaiser sighs heavily, running his tattooed hand through his blonde locks. "Don't apologize. I'm not madâI just..."
But he wasâhe was most definitely mad. Just not at you.
It was like the world was testing the limits of his patience today because damn was he not even able to finish his sentence without another person bothering you.
As Kaiser struggled to express himself, one of the managers taps you on your shoulder. She had on the fake smile she always wore whenever she'd ask you a favor.
"Can you go distribute the lunch for the players today? I just have some paperwork to go over. You know how it is... managers get busy~"
Before you could even respond, Kaiser steps forwardâputting distance between you and the manager. "And why would she do that? Isn't that your job?"
You grabbed his arm, telling him that it's alright. In a way, his team and the people who manage it have become your friends. You appreciate them for taking care of your boyfriend while you're not there and you're grateful for their warm greetings whenever you walk past any of them.
There wasn't any issue in you helping these people... or so you thought.
The manager smiles nervously at Kaiser, but she doesn't back down. "Well... I mean... if she's willing to do it, right? What's the harm in that?"
Kaiser exhales audibly. This is why he doesn't confront this dynamic. The manager was partially right because his girlfriend was always willing to help no matter what. Now he looked like the bad guy here.
The conversation shifted to an awkward atmosphere. All three of them felt it. But she was the first to break the ice... as usual.
"Mihya, it's alright. I like helping out the team. Consider it as me helping you as well," she says, smiling warmly.
"Baby," he clicks his tongue. "Forgive me, but... how the hell does it help me when you hand out water and food to these third stringers?"
Your eyes widen. "Mihya! Tone it down; they'll hear you."
He scoffs. "So what? Let them hear it."
At this point, the manager had grown quiet, slowly distancing herself from the developing quarrel.
"I've had enough watching people like her," he says, pointing at the manager before she could escape, "take advantage of you."
"It's not your job to hand out lunch boxes to everyone nor is it your responsibility to make sure they're hydrated. Babyâyou might as well wipe their sweat for them while you're at it," he adds.
As he released these pent up frustrations, he failed to notice the gradual increase in the volume of his voice. It wasn't just you and the manager hearing itâbut everyone else on the field. Even those who were far away, ran over to the commotion.
Kaiser never gave up even a second for you to butt in. "Remember that time they asked you to run to the nearby convenience store to buy God-knows-what? Or that time you had to go with... with... whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is to the hospital?"
"It's Igor," a faint voice reminds him.
"Shut the fuck up!" he retorts. Kaiser sighs deeply, the realization that everyone else was listening finally dawning on him. "What I'm trying to say is that... I'm just tired of seeing you be used like that, especially since I know how pure your heart is and all that," he says, softly.
He wanted the last part to be heard only by you. After all, you were the only one that mattered to him at the moment.
You were... well... staring at him in awe. Speechless. Unmoving. Stunned.
You were clueless to how he felt. Sure, they did ask too much of you. But you didn't think Kaiser was observing you to that degree. Your heart melted at his personal show of affection right in front of everyone.
"Mihya..."
You felt stupid that you could only mutter his name despite everything he had said. But before you could do anything else, his large hand grabs on to your wristâpulling you along with him. His strides were purposeful and his grasp was firm. You hurriedly shuffled to keep up with his pace.
After gaining some distance from the group, Kaiser halts and turns to look back at them one last time.
"If I see any of you ask a favor from her againâI'll make sure to deal with you."
A promise and a threat.
He yanks you again and continues walking away. Overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events, you try to stop him despite his strength. "Hey... slow down. Let's talk... please?"
Kaiser blatantly ignores you, only stopping once you were inside of the facility and away from prying eyes. The firm grip that once wrapped around your wrist was replaced by a gentle caress as he brought your hand to his lips.
"Sorry... I got carried away. You know I can't let them do tha-"
"It's okay. I understand. Thank you for standing up for me," you say, cutting him off.
He blinks a couple of times, surprised at how well you took it. "You're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad at my boyfriend protecting me?"
You couldn't help but giggle at him. How silly would it be for you to get angry at him right now? What he did was one of the sweetest things anyone could do for someone; not everyone is brave enough to stand up for their significant other like that.
His look of astonishment was quickly replaced with a small smile. "I guess you're right, baby."
And before you know it, you were already caged in his warm embrace.
Δ( Δ ËÂłË)É ïœĄÂ° âŹ ïœĄ likes and reblogs are appreciated
pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.
o-sachi © 2024
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Feeder 86: The Top Ten
Can you believe that the Feeder86 âOrginal Gainer Storiesâ blog will soon be posting the two hundredth story? I thought of many ways to celebrate. But then I stopped and realised that I would probably be best using the time to address one of the questions I get asked about most frequently. Which of the stories do I personally like the most?
This was not an easy list to make as I very rarely go back to re-read my own work after I have finished editing and posting them. This is not because I do not like them, but because I always see bits that I want to change. Nevertheless, this project was the perfect opportunity to revisit a few oldies that I remember being very proud of at the time.Â
Hopefully you will see this list for what it is: a glimpse into how I write, my motivations and drive; rather than just a self indulgent pat on the back for myself. Yuck!
So, with that being said, let us begin...
#10 The Feedersâ Formula: This tale certainly had to be placed into the list. After all, it is the one that kicked off âOriginal Gainer Storiesâ all those years ago. There are many amazing examples of instant body weight transformation stories out there. I felt that I needed to write this one as my contribution to the genre. It went down well at the time. I swiftly wrote a Part Two, then followed it up with others (The Feedersâ Formation, The Feedersâ Formalities, The Feedersâ Foreclosure, The Feedersâ Forecast, The Feedersâ Former Years), becoming something of an ongoing saga in recent years; focusing on the different Feeders from that very first meeting. As a writer who sometimes struggles to find the ending, these are wonderful to write as they all have the same inevitable conclusion. There is also so much freedom to be had when youâre working with characters who are pretty much pure evil. I know so much more about the Feeders than Iâve ever written down, so it is great to tease out those little details with each new installment. The newest of these tales (The Feedersâ Foreplay) was the darkest yet, but seems to have provoked a very favourable reaction from many. Who knows what the Feeders may get up to next? I do! And you can find out too, once we start a whole new sweeps season of stories this April! Come with me into The Feeders' Fortress!
#9 Only One: Where do I start? Only One has my absolute favourite type of feeder. Ben is big, sexy and very in control. Heâs one of those rare types of guys who always stays on top and is a step ahead of absoultely everyone he meets. Who wouldnât fall for him? I certainly did! In fact, I loved him so much that I wrote an entire prequel for him (and none of you even noticed!) Check out Rewire if you want to see how Ben became the man we know and love.
#8 The Wright Boys: The idea of a weight gain that cannot be stopped or controlled is a tempting one for many. How much easier would it be if you didnât have to second guess your choices or face the pressure to lose weight? This was the first tale of what I see as âThe Cursesâ saga that eventually bled into many other stories (including another one on this list!) and culminated in Wright vs Beckett. However, this story remains my personal favourite of these. If youâre a fan of looking for crossovers between my stories, these are some of the most explicitly linked. I followed it up with a spin-off tale (The Wright Boys: DNA), but continue to have ideas about how I could go back to these boys in the future. Watch this space.
#7 Making Monsters: The title of this story really does give away how I felt about it at the time. This is quite the saga, spread over into not just two, but three parts! It began as a story that was very similar to Blackmailed; a tale that I had written previously about a guy voyeristically enjoying seeing his friend fatten up her boyfriend. However, this story evolved even further for me, with Tommyâs love of eating and gaining weight being both his greatest love, and his biggest shame. His denial only heightened the tension for me, and, when he does eventually give in, the gains feel all the more satisfying as a result.
#6 The Pig Feed: Itâs not easy to write a gainer story where there isnât another character spurring the events along and encouraging things. In this tale however, that role is given to a very tasty and surprisingly addictive pig feed mixture that Steve gets himself hooked on. Itâs a story that I really enjoyed writing and still feel very happy with. I have considered writing more stories around this interesting feed. However, I am yet to do so; deciding (for now at least) that things are perhaps best left as they are. But, feel free to let me know your thoughts on this.
#5 Farm Boy: Whether you grew up in a big city, or a small rural community, like Hayden in this story, we can all relate to having desires and attractions that those around us donât understand. And, thanks to how well connected we are these days, we now know what itâs like to realise that youâre not actually alone, and the whirlwind of excited emotions that follow. I enjoyed writing this story because I, quite simply, fell completely in love with Hayden. As kinky as he was, he still retained that fresh faced innocence throughout. If any of my characters were destined to be together forever, I imagine that these two would be my top choice.
#4 Keeping a Crush: This is one of those stories that I wrote in a matter of hours, and I was so pleased with it when I was done. Getting the train to go to work is not necessarily something that many Americans have to do, and so the location had to be switched to the UK (quite refreshing, I thought!). For me, itâs one of those really rare instances where placing very solid restrictions on the structure of a story (In this case, having it all take place during the commute to and from work) and finding that it actually elevates the sexual tension and mood. All scenes take place in public settings. All conversations could, in theory, be overheard. These days, so many people meet online and flirt for weeks by messaging back and forth, before they even see each other for the first time. Nowadays, for better or for worse, the actual, real fantasy is finding a connection with someone you just see in the real world; perhaps with a person you literally just met on the way to work...
If youâve not read this one, I really would highly recommend it.
#3 To the Max: Stories with a magical element to them are either loved or hated. However, I find that this tale walks that line very successfully. Ned gets his hands on a love potion and makes straight guy, Max, fall for him. Iâm sure weâve all been there with that fantasy! However, it is in the consequences of inviting someone into your life, someone that you actually know very little about, that the entire eroticism of this story is based. I wonât spoil it for those who have not read it, but believe me when I say that things soon start getting very interesting indeedâŠ
#2 Tommyâs Two Hundred. Donât recognise this one? Well, that's because none of you have read it yet.Â
Now, Iâm not just saying this because I want you all to come back for the two hundreth story, but this is genuinely one of my absolute favourites. For my big milestone stories in the past, I have written something specifically for that event (Wright vs Beckett, The Seven Feeders of Finn). However, this is just a tale that I adored writing and decided to hold back for you all, especially for this occasion. Itâs a story of domination and submission within a fairly open, but very kinky, relationship. Strapping Hunter plays the part of a very controlling feeder, making me break many of my own rules and stretching my boundaries to the absolute limits. Youâll either love him, or youâll hate him. Thatâs all Iâm going to sayâŠ
Also, this story is going to be the first Feeder86 story that will be fully illustrated. Itâs all thanks to the amazing talents of Spellwell9 who was given an advanced copy and asked to imagine the characters in four different scenes. I cannot wait for you to see this!
Put it in your diary. All will be revealed from Friday 5th AprilâŠ
#1 F80 Control: This is perhaps a controvercial choice (especially as my #1). I have previously admitted that this story strays a little from its purpose of being a gainer story. In other words, I get very caught up in the background story that is being told. However, I feel that the science fiction genre is surprisingly underused in tales of weight gain. Yet, the combination of Aritificial Intelligence and submission seemed, to me, to be the perfect blend. It really is a beast of a story if you can follow it all the way through to its conclusion.Â
With the advent of improved artificial intelligence software in recent years, I felt the time was right to develop the world further, with the addition of F80 Ctrl Alt Del; a spin-off tale set slightly before the main story. Then, unable to help myself, I followed this up again with another companion story, F80: Kidnap and Control.Â
The reason I chose this universe as my favourite is because this is where I am happiest writing. With AI, I donât need to consider the morality or motivations - I know exactly what their aims are and I can see multiple ways in which it will cause conflict with humanity (and their waistlines!) I would also love to write more for this world one day, and I even left a little unused subplot in the last story that I think would provide the perfect starting-off point for another chapter. Will I ever write it? Well, weâll have to wait and seeâŠ
So, there you have it! The the complete list!
This was a much harder exercise than I expected when I first embarked upon it. Stories like: Jiggle the Jock, Meticulous, Rule Number One, Freaks, Leftovers I and II, Ethan: The Secret Feeder and, not fogetting The Consequences I, II and III all crept in and out of the list, unfortunatley missing out on the final cut. There are many, many others, of course. But this list cannot go on forever...
So, why not tell me which ones were your favourites? Feel free to write in the comments and post a link to any other stories that you have enjoyed from myself, or from other authors. Hopefully, if we all work together, this could become a great resource for people in the future, filled with signposts and reccommendations. Â
Also, donât forget the Feeder86 Contents page where you can find links and descriptions of all the 200 stories posted so far (as well as plot outlines for upcoming tales as well). Please continue to enjoy the vast catalogue of stories, and even have a go yourself! I love supporting the many new gainer fiction writers who contact me. So please do get in touch if you need advice, or to talk through your ideas. Letâs all encourage a whole new generation of people to get typing away! Iâm sure you will cheer them on just as much as I will.
Thank you to everyone who supports the stories blog here on Tumblr. Keep checking in every Friday througout April for a whole new sweeps season to celebrate this milestone. Stories will include: Tommy's Two Hundred, Train for a Gain, The Feeders' Fortress and The 1% (a companion story to The 5%). For now, I thank you all for taking time out to sit and read the very bizarre tales that sprout from my mind. You are all wonderful.
Happy 200 stories!
Feeder86
#gainer fiction#gainer stories#gainerstory#gayfeeder#gainerfic#gainer story#gayfeedee#gay feedee#gainerstories
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House's girl, part one â House x Daughter! Reader
Summary: House learns to love his daughter.
Warnings: diet talk and harassment, but nothing too in-depth
Author's note: English is not my native language. I have an idea for a saga about this, but I want to see if anyone likes it first đđ
Part two:
SUNDAY
You rarely saw your father.Â
By the time you were born, your parents had already divorced, and he chose to remain largely uninvolved in your life. You knew your grandparents and received some Christmas and birthday presents, but nothing that made a lasting impact. Most of the time, he lived as though he werenât a father at all.
Yet here you were, standing in front of his apartment, holding a suitcase with a few changes of clothes. Your mother had become involved with a man of questionable character â a manipulator with a minor criminal record that included harassment. You had reported him for making comments that made you uncomfortable, but your mother, who was deeply entangled with him, dismissed your concerns as lies. Consequently, the women's police station decided to send you to live with your father, as you had no other close relatives.
You knocked on door 221B and waited for about five minutes. âHe must be trying to escape through the window, but luckily heâs limping,â you thought with a hint of irony.
âYou actually came,â your father said as he opened the door.
âSorry I didnât choose to become a homeless person,â you replied.
He stepped aside to let you in. The apartment was surprisingly tidy, which took you aback; your mother had often complained about his disorganization. You couldnât help but wonder if he had made an effort to clean up for your arrival.
âYouâll stay in the guest room; itâs the second door on the right.â
âWhy do you have a guest room if you never have guests?â
âSometimes, the prostitutes prefer not to sleep in the same room as me, especially when I hire many.â
âDid you know Iâm only fourteen and that sexual jokes and exposure to excessive affection can damage my mind, like abuse?â
âGood thing it wasnât a joke.â
You sighed deeply and walked to the guest room. It was a sparse space with just a bed and a dresser. As you quickly unpacked your clothes, you realized there was no suitable place to studyâ something you would need to address soon, especially with a math exam approaching.
âWhere am I going to study?â you asked your father, who was sitting on the couch with a glass of whiskey. âYouâre drinking at eight-thirty in the morning?â you added, somewhat perplexed.
âAre you studying at eight-thirty in the morning?â he retorted with irony. âStudy in the kitchen; thereâs a table there.â
âBut thereâs no door between the living room and the kitchen.â
âThatâs really a shame.â
âIf you watch TV, the noise will distract me. I have Sensory Processing Disorder and need a quiet environment.â
âIâll buy a desk for your room tomorrow,â he said.
âBut I need to study today.â
âOne day wonât make a difference.â
âIt does when you want to get into Harvard.â
âYouâre in middle school; nobody studies in middle school.â
âActually, Iâm in high school. Iâm three years ahead.â
âOh my God, youâre so annoying,â he exclaimed, getting up and heading to his room. âStudy in the kitchen in peace. Iâll stay in my room.â
âDonât you have to go to the hospital?â you asked.
âUnfortunately, no,â he replied, slamming the door behind him. You didnât mind the harsh tone; you had come for a place to stay, not for a father.
âąâąâą
MONDAY
You woke up at six-thirty, the same time as your father. With two bathrooms in the house, you both managed to get ready without crossing paths.
When you met in the kitchen for breakfast, a heavy silence lingered. He served himself without offering you anything, but you had learned the previous day that if you didnât help yourself, youâd end up going hungry.
You helped yourself to Pop Tarts and a cup of black coffee.
âArenât you a bit young for coffee?â your father asked.
âItâs a legal drug, and there are no age restrictions,â you replied.
He didnât respond, and silence settled between you again. The next sound was the doorbell, followed by the creak of the door opening.
âHey, House,â a man said as he entered. Seeing you, he paused, visibly shocked. âIs this your daughter?â
âTouchĂ©,â your father replied, his tone a blend of sarcasm and resignation.
James Wilson knew that House had a daughter and understood that, despite his reluctance, he cared about her. However, seeing you there was still a surprise.
âMy name is James Wilson. Iâm a friend of your fatherâs,â James said, extending his hand for a handshake.
âMy dad has friends?â you asked, surprised, making James laugh.
âAlright, alright, that was a really funny joke,â House interrupted. âLetâs head to the hospital; I donât want to be late.â
âYouâre always late, House,â James retorted. âWeâll drop your daughter off at school first.â
âSeriously? Thank you so much!â you said, thrilled, and dashed to grab your backpack.
As you left, James turned to House. âDonât look at me like that. I know you care about her.â
âą
You arrived home at four in the afternoon, utterly exhausted. After studying late into the night and barely catching glimpses of your father throughout the day, you felt the weight of the long hours. Whenever he did venture into the kitchen, it was in silence, leaving you to wonder whether he was avoiding conversation or simply giving you space.
Heading straight to the kitchen, you rummaged through the sparse offerings. With little more than cereal and Pop Tarts available, you poured yourself some cereal â without milk, as there was none. As you were eating, the doorbell rang.
âYes?â you called out, opening the door to find a tall, burly man holding a clipboard.
âGregory House?â he asked.
âThis is his house. Iâm his daughter.â
âHe requested that a study desk be delivered here.â
You smiled to yourself as you let the man in. He proceeded to set up the desk in your room, a small but meaningful gesture from your father.
âąâąâą
TUESDAY
You hadnât seen your father the day before. When he came home, you were already asleep. Besides setting up the study desk, he called later to let you order some food, a small sign that he was making an effort, however minimal.
The next morning, as you both sat down for breakfast, you decided to strike up a conversation, unsure of how receptive he would be.
âHow was the hospital yesterday?â you asked.
âHmm?â he responded, looking up, surprised by the question.
âAny interesting cases?â you pressed.
âA girl with cancer having hallucinations.â
âWas the tumor pressing on the brain?â you inquired.
âNo, the tumor was in the heart.â
ââŠA clot?â you guessed.
âExactly.â House paused, impressed by your accuracy. He knew you were intelligent, having skipped grades and attended a prestigious school on a scholarship. However, he hadnât realized your aptitude for medicine. âDo you like medicine?â
âA lot,â you replied. âMy dream has been to become a doctor since I was nine. I attend pre-med camps, study whenever I can, read extensively about it, and watch medical shows to guess the diagnoses.â
âI enjoy doing that too,â he said, taking a sip of coffee.
âI was wondering if I could read your medical books.â
âIf you can.â
âMy reading level is quite advanced. I might not understand everything right away, but Iâll research what I donât get. And my dadâs a doctor, so I can ask him about it,â you said with a sideways smile, almost catching a glimpse of a smile on his lips.
Moments later, Wilson arrived to take them out. As he dropped you off at school, House mentioned to him that you were aspiring to a medical career and were very intelligent. It was the first time Wilson saw House display genuine pride.
âą
When you arrived home that day, it was the first time in days you could truly relax, free from looming exams or relentless homework. You took a shower and settled into the living room, turning on a cartoon â your favorite way to unwind.
As you were engrossed in an episode of The Flintstones, your father came in.
âArenât you studying?â he asked, surprised. It was the first time heâd seen you doing anything other than studying since you arrived. To him, it seemed you were engaged in it constantly.
âMy exams are over for now. When I finish a round of exams, I take a day off. And you, why are you home early?â
âThere was nothing to do.â
âDid the patient die?â
âNo, he recovered.â
âCongratulations.â
âWhy?â
âFor not having killed him.â House wasnât sure if you were being serious or sarcastic, but he didnât care.
He limped over to the refrigerator, grabbed a beer, and sat down next to you. This surprised you; you had expected him to retreat to his room.
âThat cartoon isnât from your era,â he remarked.
âYes, but I prefer the old ones. Do you want to change the channel?â
âDonât be overly nice; itâs annoying. You want to watch the cartoon and you got here first, so go ahead.â
You nodded and the room fell into a comfortable silence. Occasionally, you glanced at your father, noticing him getting caught up in the cartoon, even suppressing laughter at some scenes.
After a while, he asked, âWant to order a pizza?â
âI ate out yesterday.â
âSo what?â
âMy mom only lets me eat out once a week at most. She says itâs unhealthy and makes you fat.â
âGood to know your motherâs paranoias havenât changed. Iâm a doctor, and you know whatâs worse than eating out? Not eating at all. Do you want pizza?â
âI guess so.â
âThen call and order it.â
You followed his instructions, ordering your favorite pizza. When it arrived, you ate it in the living roomâanother thing your mother would never allow. After the cartoon ended, your father switched to a medical drama. You watched in silence until, midway through an episode, he paused and looked at you.
âSo, what do you think?â he asked.
âPardon?â you replied, confused.
âSudden and inexplicable nail disintegration, colorful and shiny mucous lesions in the mouth, temporary and recurrent inability to recognize faces, rapid and unpredictable changes in blood pressure, and intense heat sensation without fever. What is it?â
âAre you serious?"
âYou said youâre good at this, right?â
You paused, considering.
âStiff-Person Syndrome?â
âI need you to be sure.â
âStiff-Person Syndrome. Itâs a rare autoimmune condition that can lead to progressive muscle rigidity and pain, along with various neurological symptoms like motor difficulties and changes in sensory perception.â
âGreat. Youâre better than my team,â he said.
You watched two more episodes before falling asleep. In the middle of the night, you woke to find yourself covered and with your foot adjusted for comfort. You smiled, knowing that your father had made sure you were tucked in for a good nightâs rest.
#house m.d#house x reader#imagine#gregory house#gregory house x reader#james wilson#james wilson x reader#fanfiction#house m.d x reader
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oh my godddddddddddds im backk its đ
maybe someting where kinich and the reader are dating and jealous of mualani for something he did to help her that he never does for reader?
Okay so in this idea I've made reader a weapons dealer (why tf can't I remember the name of the profession smh?) and Ajaw gives you some useful advice.
Part of this fic has headcanons not really linked to the character, but more to the fic idea.
--
Your boyfriend was not the best at keeping his weapon safe - that much that you landed up knowing him through his visits to your stand, asking with a hint of embarrassment added in every time he made yet another visit to your shop for another claymore. Over time, you had grown fond of him, and you asked him out.
Surprisingly, he said yes.
When you hang out, which was rare because of his line of work, you told him more about yourself than he was willing to tell you. At first you thought he was just getting more familiar with you, but after a while you get wary. You had given him a decent discount for weapons - basically free whenever he needed once since you begin dating.
But then you saw how he interacted with her. Mualani.
She effortlessly got him to talk, and you really didn't like the feeling in your chest when you saw them together, and Ajaw seemed bored whenever they were together. Ajaw would get put into time out regularly whenever he said too much, which happened whenever Kinich was being teased about how close he seemed to be to Mualani in comparison to you - his actual partner.
The last time he got put into time out, Ajaw manage dto get to you discretely. No idea how exactly, but you weren't about to ask questions.
"You're better moving on, _." Ajaw states. "You and I both know he's taking advantage of your deal."
"...My deal?" You ask, tilting your head.
You hadn't thought too hard about how often he seemed to visit your shop after you two became a couple, but it made sense how often he visited. He didn't even show shame with it after you both started dating, he seemed to think this was his side of the bargain as opposed to just being Happy about dating you.
"...Are you listening to me?" Ajaw yells, catching your attention. "It looks like you already know what I'm going to say. I'm stuck with Kinich, doesn't mean you have to be!" Ajaw cackles, sunglasses on.
"Thanks, Ajaw." You rub the back of your head awkwardly as you look over at Kinich who has now been hugged by Mualani. He never pushes her away, not did he seem uncomfortable with her hugs, which was the final nail in the coffin as he never wanted to get your affections.
Kinich walks over, pointing towards a Claymore as he asks for a price. When you give him the usual customer price, he shows confusion.
"What?" You ask innocently. "I can't keep giving you discounts when you keep losing merchandise. It costs materials, time and money to make these."
"Fair enough, sorry." Kinich smiles softly, an action you had only seen from him when he had spoken to Mualani. He places the mora on the table, you hand the weapon over, and he doesn't even wave as he leaves.
Mualani waves at you, cheery smile on her face, and you do the most pathetic wave before having to excuse yourself as you realised you fell for a guy that had only wanted you for your weapons at a cheaper price.
You realise that, in Kinich's eyes, you were nothing but a side character.
#gender neutral reader#genshin impact imagines#angst#kinich#kinich x gender neutral reader#kinich x reader#mualani
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i need pervy older bf konig :(
good god. bro you and i are both so lucky i had today off. this was some good shit to write thank you very much for requesting this ( âĄâżâĄ *) also ngl i really think i just don't know how to write characters not being possessive. it's just in my dna
â tags: mdni!, smut, female reader, age gap (reader is 18/19, könig is mid-40's), mentioned loss of virginity, corruption/innocence kink, size difference, size kink, pet names, free use, posssessive!könig, exhibitionism, mention of violence (reader gets turned on by it dw), edging, dacryphilia, bondage, praise kink, reader calls könig "sir"
â word count: 1.4k words (not proofread)
â translations: "hase" = bunny , "liebling" = darling "mein schatz" = my darling/sweetheart , "mein herz" = my heart "mein kleiner hase" = my little bunny (please correct me if anything is wrong, i'll edit it whenever i get the chance!)
masterlist | requests
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â§ Ë Â° pervy older boyfriend!könig who is just obsessed with his darling little girlfriend. he loves everything about you, how small you are against him, how easy you are to manhandle and twist around, so happy to just have him touch you however he wants. how you always crane your neck up to look at him with such adoration in your pretty eyes, even when he makes you do the nastiest things for him.
â§ Ë Â° ever since the first time he sunk into you, your first time where you couldn't even take his whole dick (it took you a few rounds to fit it all in), he just can't get enough of you. the whimper when he pops his fat head through your tiny hole, how you dig your nails in and gasp for breath the further he pushes in, it's straight up addicting to him. könig's favorite thing is seeing you fall deeper and deeper into the pleasure he gives you, seeing you become more and more corrupted by his huge hands and cock.
â§ Ë Â° he's got such a kink for your innocence and naivety; his heart skips a beat every time you think it can't get any better, and then it does and your little body doesn't even know how to handle it. könig will try every position, every kink his expansive mind can come up with with you.
â§ Ë Â° it always starts with him pulling you over one of his thighs (it strains your legs too much to try and sit over both of them without his help) and him dragging your hips back and forth across it. his hands cover the entire expanse of your thighs and the globes of your ass, fingertips digging in until it's just on the edge of bruising. always soaking up your little whimpers, how you dig your nails into his shoulders and hide your face in his chest. "hase, my little bunny, does that feel good? look at me, liebling, answer me. always so shy when i have you like this. it feels good, yes? are you going to cum for me? heh, what is it, you need more, liebling? ask me nicely for more, then."
â§ Ë Â° pervy older boyfriend!könig who steals your underwear and most of the clothes you pack when you come over and pretends to have no idea where it all went. oh well, guess you'll just have to wear his clothes! it's such a shame that you don't have any underwear left until he does the laundry that he keeps "forgetting" about. it's so sad that you have nothing clean left to wear except his t-shirts that almost reach your knees.
â§ Ë Â° he just loves being able to come up to you in the kitchen, lift you up onto the island counter and run his hands up your thighs until his thumb covers your clit. you always get so squirmy when he does that, bucking your hips into his hand and clawing at his arm. könig chuckles and teases you about how needy you are for him, how you're such a dirty little girl for walking around with no underwear. "don't you know how men are, mein schatz? they'll snatch you up every chance they get," he mutters in your ear, the hand that wasn't shoving two fingers into you gripping your hip to keep you still.
â§ Ë Â° when you start stuttering out little pleas and fumbling with his belt he relents. he pushes you flat against the counter and kneels to lick a sloppy stripe up your pussy, never forgetting his dedication to not hurting you (not in a way you didn't like, at least). and when he's finally lifting your hips up to line up your sopping hole with his dick, he tells you how much of a good girl you are for letting him use you like this, whenever he wants.
â§ Ë Â° pervy older boyfriend!könig who gets off on having you sit on his lap in public; in front of anyone, really. könig knows that his overwhelming size and heavy stare makes him live up to his name of "king", and having a pretty little thing like you in his lap just completes the picture. he doesn't admit it, but you know it's an ego boost for him every time.
â§ Ë Â° it just makes him so happy to have you so close! he tells you it helps him with his social anxiety, having you there to calm him down. especially when he invites over his friends, other colonels and military men. könig knows you always feel out of place, feeling like you're going to hear something you shouldn't. he just coos reassurances in your ears and rubs his hands up and down your thighs, fingertips grazing just below the hem of the pretty dress he had asked you to put on. "relax, hase, it's okay for you to be here. mein schatz, mein herz, you know i would never let anyone harm you. i would break their neck before they even came close."
â§ Ë Â° you somehow always end up trying to discreetly white-knuckle his wrist that's buried between your legs. könig plays poker with the rest of the men, pretending very well that three of his fingers aren't knuckle deep inside you. everyone knows, they grow to expect it at this point. you're just so obvious, squirming and glancing up at him anxiously and trying desperately to cover up the tiny moans you let out. then he'll finally lean down and whisper in your ear, telling you to be good and cum; you can't possibly hide the way you shake and arch your back or the choked whimpers. but the men carry on with their game, barely sparing a second glance at you (they still shift in their seats, sneak a hand down to readjust), talking amongst themselves.
â§ Ë Â° "you see, mein kleiner hase, they know to not even look at you too long. they know you're mine, just well as you do, right?" könig says lowly while he wipes his fingers off on your thighs. he's pulling you closer to him so you can feel the outline of his hardon pressed against your ass. you nod and mumble a little "yes, sir" and he pats your stomach where he's holding you against him. "good girl. don't worry, liebling, we are almost done here. i'll stuff you full soon enough, just be patient a little longer."
â§ Ë Â° pervy older boyfriend!könig who always has nothing but praise for you except for when you act up. he wasn't the kind of man to take insubordination lightly usually; you couldn't be if you wanted to be a colonel. instead of his usual punishments (making subordinates run suicides until they dropped) he likes tying you down and edging you until you're sobbing for him to let you cum, to untie you, anything.
â§ Ë Â° it's not that he enjoys seeing you cry (he loves it in this context), he just needs to teach you a lesson, to make sure you know your bratty actions have consequences. it just brings könig so much joy to reduce you to a brainless, overstimulated mess, whining pleas between hiccups and gasps for air. hearing you cry out, "no- nono please könig, please sir m'sorry, m'so sorry! ha-a- please, please let me cum, m'sorry, please-", is like an angel's choir to his ears. he knows you think he's being cruel and unfair, but könig is always going easy on you. you still are his sweet little girl, after all, he could never hurt you too much!
â§ Ë Â° he won't let up though until he's making you say whatever nasty things he wants, until you're so desperate that you completely forget about being shy. "have i taught you your lesson, hase? hm, i don't know if you have yet. tell me what you want- i know you want to cum, liebling, what do you want me to do about that? you want me to fuck you? ask properly, tell me you want my thick cock in your tiny pussy. you need it, don't you? tell me you need it, you need to feel me deep inside you. hah, alright mein kleiner hase, i believe you. it's alright, shh, mein herz, you did so well for me, let me reward you now."
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#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#konig#konig x reader#konig x female reader#konig x you#könig#könig x reader#könig x female reader#reader insert#call of duty smut#cod smut#konig smut#könig smut#â lilly writes! âĄ
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