#subject: rachel berry

[omgmckinley]

SUPERLATIVES, part two

😁 best smile, kyle christopherson

🗣️ most talkative, sugar motta

📣 loudest, rachel berry

📖 best storyteller, blaine anderson

😻 kindest heart, catrina clark

🙊 quietest, taylor lincoln

🫂 best shoulder to cry on, sam evans

🤣 best laugh, adrian cruz-dumont

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 best best friends, tina cohen-chang & blaine anderson

[mckinleypowerhour]

what're your rankings of the new romances sprouting up at mckinley + the odds they'll make it to spring break?

oh my god, i loove this question!!

it's pride and i don't want to be pride-phobic so i'm going to start with the queer icons (shawn mendes and harry styles will not be on this list, sorry but not sorry):

kc & max - orphans make me a kind of sad, so i'm really rooting for this couple. i hope max lets the poor boy call him daddy. 10/10

sebastian & blaine - i heard blaine is already planning their wedding. i wish for drag queens and neon lights. 8/10.

taylor & sugar - i believe in the power of manifesting. 7/10

spencer & david - i'm such a hopeless romantic and enemies to lovers is my fav fav fav romance trope. i want this so bad for timon and pumbaa. 6/10 though because well... karfosky.

quinn & keke - they're obviously together, but quinn is cray cray. i hope they can still co-parent their daughter. 3/10 if her therapist works overtime.

adrián & the entire hockey team - hot. but unstainable. happy orgies while it lasts though! 1/10

and now for the others. still adorable, but a bit straight for my taste:

puck & catrina - so easy. they're married and expecting puck jnr jnr. it doesn't get more solid than that. 10/10

jesse & rachel - does anyone believe they're just friends. do they believe it? i like it, they're weird cute. also i think they're probs the only people that would have one another. 7/10 because hens haven't stopped laying eggs.

ali & sam - they only got this high on the list because they're homecoming "royalty", but it's time for ali to remember her worth and kiss some girls. get a real blonde and a real cowgirl, baby. 4/10

kitty & ryder - i'm just so sad... kitty came out and started dating a man. plus, ryder should be with me. i want to lick him like a lollipop. 2/10

[sapphic-agent]

Ranking the Glee Endgame Ships

(Finchel included because it would have been Endgame)

Brittana: Yes I love them unconditionally and no I will not apologize for it. Pure love in its truest form (no I won't be taking criticism stay mad💁🏾‍♀️)

Sue/Sue: The best ship, no questions asked. Also means Sue won't subject a romantic partner to her toxicity which is a surprising amount of (probably unintentional) responsibility from her

Samcedes: They're cute. I know they're not "officially" endgame but it's implied they get back together eventually right? I really liked their healthy communication in season 6 even if they did break up afterwards

St. Berry: Soulmates frfr. Jesse's a prick, but outside of season 1 treats her so well and always pushes her to be her best. I think Rachel really taught him how to love. Also just so much chemistry

Wemma: Only reason it's not ranked higher is because Will doesn't always do right by her (like when he let her ableist parents make him doubt his relationship with her😐). They're a pretty solid couple overall though

Finchel: They have their cute moments, but it's hard to get into them when they have so many issues, a lot of which were never addressed. Finn only pursued her when he couldn't have her *cough* when she was with Jesse *cough* and otherwise complained about her constantly. Rachel was more likeable when she wasn't with him tbh (like in the majority of season 2)

Artina: Why even have them get back together? They broke up in season 2 when he treated her like garbage and then she was happy with Mike for years only for the writers to break them up for no reason. Tike was cute and so off to the side that they could have kept it and nothing would have made a difference. Why did the writers hate Tina?

Klaine: To be fair a lot of this ship's failings came from how inconsistently and downright terribly Blaine was written. But still, when he proposed it felt like Kurt wasn't even happy. And it only felt like they got married because everyone pushed them to. Nothing about this ship was ever enjoyable to me, not even in season 2

Quick: Why'd they do Quinn like this😭 I get Puck had changed and that's great but she said to Rachel in season 3, "I can't imagine my past dimming the bright lights of my future." And then she gets with Puck😐 They should have kept her single tbh, her learning to love herself without a man involved was meant to be her whole arc (I also headcanon her as ace, but that's just me🤷🏾‍♀️)

[stampvamp]

I see that request are opened,

may I request fluffy headcannon relationships with Karl and Rachel?

Take the time you need!

of course!! I’m so excited to write for Rachel and I haven’t done it before! Please excuse any grammar mistakes. Cute ask anon, and it shall be granted! I hope you meant romantic and seperate but if you meant a poly (or platonic) I don’t mind writing that either!

[please notify me if any gender identifying pronouns are used]

Rachel

- Rachel was always kind to you, even in the friendship that soon bloomed into a relationship. Rachel loved teaching you new techniques and expanding your knowledge on different subjects.

- When the tables were turned, she would sit back and listen patiently to whatever you had stumbled upon and wanted to engage in. Loving the expressions on your face whenever you talked about something that held your interests and passion.

- Her love for you spread like the plague, her pale cheeks turning into a peach pink whenever you were around.

- Sometimes her flirtatious remarks would shoot over your head, as she began to wonder if you were ignoring them

- She told you her feelings in means of romantic poem. Detailing how great of a person you were and the strong feelings that tainted her senses whenever she was around you.

- Once in a relationship, she was able to show you her upmost affection. Kissing your cheeks and holding your hand, she loved being able to comment about how she loves you.

- Rachel adores gifting you multiple things. Putting them in cute packaging just to see your eyes widened of whatever she put in there. The boxes filled to the brim of your favorite foods and tied with a dark red to a light pink ribbon.

- You sit down and listen to the harmonical tunes that she plays. Adoring her silent appreciations of you as an audience. Doing a small bow as you clapped.

- One if her favorite things to do with you is bake, beforehand she hadn’t had much baking experience. Reading cookbooks of how to make the sweetest tarts and cookies. She was determined to share treats with you and it be both of your prides.

———————

Studying the strawberry, it was larger than usual. About 2 times the size, you thought. Taking the red fruit and swishing against the towel. You had been cleaning the strawberries you and Rachel had managed to raise over the past months. Losing a small patch of the sweet fruits due to an infestation that happened in a separate small garden to the side.

“Y/N-?”

A sweet voice coaxed you over from remembering your failed strawberry patch. You had instantly recognized it as your girlfriend’s of seven months. Your hand pinched the ends of the gloves as you removed it. Your hands felt slightly damped from the water accidentally entering the gloves from washing the berries.

“I’ll be there in a second!” You called, flicking the remaining water from hands as you took a towel to ensure dryness. Putting it the side, you rushed over to the other side of you and Rachel’s humble home. There she was, the pink apron hugged her waist as it was tied behind her back. Her hand was wrapped around the whisk as she greeted you in with a smile.

“Hello darling, mind doing a task for me?” She leaned over to your cheeks, pecking them as she tapped the bottom of your chin. Your eyes searched for whatever was in the bowl, a thick pink cream laid in the plastic bowl. Opening your mouth as a gesture of consent, she picked up a small spoon and landed it in your mouth.

The flavor followed promptly, swallowing the broad saccharine mixture you let out an hum. She giggled, holding the spoon as she watched you enjoy it.

“You like it?” She questioned, the ends of her soft pink lips curling into a smile. You nodded quick, expressing your gratitude over the sweetness of frosting.

“Of course-, it tastes wonderful and it’ll go on just perfect on the cheesecake-!” You chirped, affirming her confidence. Her arms wrapped around you as you smiled. Oh god, you think you really found the one.

Karl

- Karl and you had butted heads in the start. You felt as if he couldn’t last a day without mocking or teasing you in slightest. Ruffling your hair, stealing certain small items from you to see if you’ll notice. Survival of the fittest. He calls it, you think he’s just an asshole.

- He had once seen you crying and his head swarmed in anger. Demanding who had hurt you with a stern tone. With your hiccups and sobs you had managed to tell him that you had lost one of prized possessions. Karl had looked for it for the whole day, retracing the places you had recalled to him. Although, he would never admit that he purposely looked for it. He had just happened to “come across it”

- Karl sometimes can’t stop thinking about you. He hates how it rendered his fighting skills, his moves less calculated. Still a strong opponent on the battlefield, but weak mentally. That’s the word, you have him weak.

- He follows you, he will admit sometimes it is without your knowing. It’s only to make sure your safe, a human like you couldn’t defend yourself. He takes it upon himself to be a bodyguard.

- Karl had confessed straight out, not being able to contain his thoughts anymore. To come clean. His voice stern but his thoughts clouded with the hope that you would accept.

- Now being your partner, he has an excuse for taking care of you. No more lying, he relishes in the thought that you are his. Nobody else can have you.

- Karl shoos away anyone that takes too long with you. Sometimes it frustrates you but you can’t get too angry with Karl. He’ll find away to melt you.

- His large orange overcoat hung over your shoulders as the bleakness of the winter coated the earth. He makes sure that you are warm and cared for. He’s a statue, he doesn’t need much coverage.

- When your legs grow tired he hauls you over his shoulders, his strength surpassing any living being. He loves how you gasp when his arms wrap around you.

- Karl’s love language is physical touch, something about it just makes him yearn for it. He loves the warmth of your skin.

- If you aren’t comfortable with physical touch, Karl will find another method to love you. He just loves you so much, you make his brain go numb.

… does he have a brain? He’s a statue. God damn it does he NOT know his own anatomy?

—————————————

Your legs swung in the wind. The swings emitting a screech. The laughs and giggles from you and your friend, Climber echoed the small park.

“How’d you go that high-?” Climber asked, his hands wrapped around the chains. His shoes digging into the wood chips below the two of you. Your foot struck the ground, the friction hauling you into an abrupt stop.

“Here, take your leg- and let go. After a whole start rocking your legs back and forth but make sure you get faster.” You instructed him, nodding at you as he stared at your legs as an example.

The small rustling of the bushes caused you to look over at the them. You quickly dismissed it as a small animal or rodent playing in it. Holding onto the chains, your motions came to an abrupt stop.

“Karl-! I didn’t know you were going to be here!”

He held onto your shoulders, kissing your cheeks. His eyes wandering to Climber as he held you closer. “Didn’t expect him to be here.” He muttered against your skin, a small chuckled emitted from you.

“Oh, well..hello?” Climber peered at Karl, sheepishly smiling at the two of you. Karl walked to him before whispering a few things to him, his eyes widening as he finished. Climber quickly dusted himself off before getting up and waving you both goodbye.

“Leaving so soon?” You cocked your head, seeing your dear friend walk away from the park. Your head turned to Karl, your eyes piercing.

“Karl, what did you tell him? You certainly weren’t rude were you?” You grumbled as Karl’s hand intertwined with yours.

“Of course not darling, I would never. I just gave him a simple tap to realize that I wanted to spend time with my beauty of a significant other..is that too much to ask?” He purred, resting his cheek upon yours.

“At least I’m not jealous..” You moved away from the statue slightly, a hurt expression spread across his face.

“Jealous? What makes you think I’m jealous! What a vulgar comment!” He pushed, earning a small giggle from you.

“The way you told him, and the way that you’re holding me tells me otherwise.”

“Well, what if I wanted to have you all to myself ever thought of that!”

(Woosaiahahha I took so long, I’m sorry guys :( requests are still open and if you requested I am working on it!! I promise!! Again anon, thank you for the opportunity to write for you!! I hope more people request! Sorry for the ending of Karl…got lazy :p)

[liviavanrouge]

Rachel Goldberg

Nicknames:

-Ray, Chella(Neige, Che'Nya) -Annoying Flower Brat, Irksome girl, Bane of existence, the girl I hate(Livia) -Livia's One-Sided Worst Enemy(Freya and Minako) -Mademoiselle Flower Child -Golden Flower

Twisted From: Golden Flower from Rapunzel

Birthday: November 16th

Age: 17

Species: Half Nature Fae Half Human

Homeland: City of Flowers

---------

Family:

-Unnamed Mother

-Unnamed Uncle and Aunt

-Unnamed Younger Brother

---------

Hobbies: Growing flowers

Pet Peeves: Bad gardners

Favorite Food: Rose tea

Least Favorite Food: Berries

~~~~

Dominant Hand: Left

Height: 5'6

Grade: Sophomore

Class: ???

Club: ???

Best Subject: Magic Gardening

---------

Personality: Rachel is a bright and kind person, who tends to put others above herself. She uses her healing magic a lot to heal others which make her tired at times but she brushes off any concern aimed towards her. Despite being a kind person, Rachel is capable of having a sharp tongue and being rude to others. She has quite the temper as well when the right buttons are pushed to get to that point.

Is stated to also be quite naive, falling for pranks and weird catchphrases easily due to being sheltered until she was ten years old and even then she wasn't allowed to know most things. Rachel cries when she has to interact with phones, computers and other tech since she has no clue how to work them

----------

Unique Magic

Healing Song, Rachel sings a special song in order to heal the injured and sick

Song: "Flower, gleam and glow just let your powers shine, please make the clock reverse and bring back what once was mine"

---------

Trivia:

-She's close friends with Neige and enjoys talking with him -Has no idea that Livia holds a severe hatred for her and always talks to the girl with a bright smile whenever they meet -Rook has stated that Rachel's family runs a worldwide famous Flower Shop -During the masquerade event she saves Livia but is surprised when the girl screams at her to not touch her

@anxious-twisted-vampire @yukii0nna @writing-heiress @zexal-club @marrondrawsalot @yumeko2sevilla

[nightguide]

Rogue is now done for according to Mindhunter: Glee according to Rachel Berry's equilibrium from Finn Hudson's death from New Directions, his alleged disappearance is how Eva Green is now actually a prominent member of Harper St. James (Rachel's sister in the UK) league of extraordinary gentlemen in Doctor Who

irrelevant decisions made on Eva's behalf was because of Brittany S Pierce not taking initiative years after the TV show ended because of Hudson's death in reprisal to St. James honour (married to Rogue) now because of timeline events occurring on Deviant Art is actually transgressed with algorithm physics (actually mensa of the art universe now) but the subjectivity of the arts is where Demi Lovato is actually relevant to Green's metaphor likeability (her persona is not as you would see her if known for her lifestyle despite status)

so if you know Demi Lovato, she had been on Glee in an episode with Naya Rivera as her girlfriend but her emotional status quo led to Rachel's reasoning with Finn being underqualified for since he cannot cope with commitment (hence the show's ridiculous comparison to Euphoria as a reason to social commitment with society right now) making Schuester the lethal outcome to go since New Directions success cannot compete with the acapella circus to Anna Kendrick's reasoning with other acapella bands existing within Glee's alternate direction, so where was it actually going to go according to Pitch Perfect's (movie) perspective all along, so all point's given is how Harper (Lovato fan) was actually in tune with Berry's reasoning to New Directions success according to Rogue (Jonathan Groff's character on Doctor Who), so he did what he can to protect Harper from being psychologically tortured from Lovato's life from the conspiracy network that went Rogue due to religious reasoning of Harper St. James in real life according to Will Schuester knowing who Rachel's sister is behind cameras (mockumentary to Waynes World)

so Harper and Demi's circuits stayed true to each other all along with social normative values of true peace (Demi is actually a Muslim woman all along growing up with Harper (who has autism spectrum disorder)

Harper St. James (Harper Oberlin) was actually a Spade (Rachel Berry's real name before her parents made her go TV show Rogue for the West End than Broadway (where the real stars are at) is how she stuck with Jesse just so that Harper can be with him in real life (long lost sister connection in real life to Lea and reader)

[mollywog]

Tell me everything about your hunger games aogg au please 👀

First of all, I am so delighted you asked!

Secondly, I read The Holiday Stand In by @lemonluvgirl in which Gale Hawthorne called Katniss Everdeen a kindred spirit and I was so tickled by the idea. Then that reminded me of a Drabble I read, so I scoured THG Drabble collections until I found this and this by @endlessnightlock, which are so enjoyable and I highly recommend!

At this point the idea was stuck in in my head until I was jotting down bits of dialogue, backstory, idea after idea…

My version of Katniss is too pragmatic to be an Anne she’s more of a Marilla at the beginning.

Prim is on the other hand is constantly trying to relate real life to the fiction she’s read.

Effie screams Rachel Lynde

Haymitch is their guardian and is pretty much just Haymitch. But a small part Mathew at heart.

Madge has Diana Berry vibes

The story in my head is centered around Katniss and is a coming of age of sorts: With Katniss able to focus on things outside survival, she learns how to really live…

And because I opened the document and found something I thought captured the essence and made me laugh…

Here’s a peek 🫣 (it’s unedited and subject to hangs - bear with me)

“Can we call you uncle?”

“Prim, we’ve been over this, he’s not our uncle.” Mother and father didn’t have siblings, he’s a cousin of fathers so even less related to us. “We are his wards.”

She wrinkles her nose “Ward doesn’t have such a nice ring to it. It reminds me of wart and those don’t have very pleasant associations.” a flash of recognition passed her face and she continues on excitedly, “Mr Rochester had a ‘ward’, her name was Adele and she was a french, though her parentage was rather dubious” she trails off and a worried line appears on her brow “ but Mr Rochester also had a secret wife living in his attic” she eyed her surroundings suspiciously.

“No such luck here sweetheart” he shifts his attention to me ”Just what kind of company have the two of you been keeping?”

I scowl at the implication “She’s talking about a book.” I’m used to Prim discussing fictional characters as if they were real acquaintances of ours, but I suppose it might be jarring if you hadn’t been used to it “Prim loves to read” I add unnecessarily.

Prim’s ramblings, though absurd, have hit on a valid point: what do we really know about Haymitch Abernathy?

“It’s Jane Eyre and oh! It's the loveliest. I do enjoy a good novel, though I prefer a romance. There is something so hopeful about a romance” Prim continues on…

I will also admit that I am in over my head. Send suggestions or help!

Seriously! Thank you for asking!

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: Hell-O Extras

Don't Rain on My Parade (Instrumental)

I couldn't find the actual scene - but I found this really fun karaoke version in case you guys wanna play at home ;)

Anyway... this song plays in the background of the opening scene when Rachel, Mercedes, and Kurt are all walking in the hallway. It's the only song that isn't related to the word 'hell' and is really a nod to the previous group of episodes, their sectionals win, and the fact that Rachel believes she's now a star -- her own triumphant music playing in her head. Of course that all comes crashing down as they get slushied, but it's a nice opening touch.

It's also quite the energetic and provocative piece even without the vocals and gives the reentrance of the show some oomph. I recommend taking a moment and just singing it for yourself! ;)

Hello, Again

Will and Emma dance to Neil Diamond's Hello, Again. I find it kind of interesting that they didn't let Will sing this to her -- and for that matter, Will (and Emma) don't have any songs to sing together this episode -- which shows the departure of the story from the adult world.

I think this is a really nice song for them, though. The lyrics reflect a man who's happy to be in the arms of his love and friend -- and the scene kind of does the meta'ing for you, actually. It's gentle and calm and kind of reflects the friends-turned-lovers relationship that Will and Emma have taken. Plus, the dancing together is somewhat reminiscent of those old school romantic films.

What I don't totally buy is that it's Will and Terri's prom song. Not only do I not buy that teens in the mid-90s would be into Neil Diamond, but I'd bet Terri would be much more vocal and dominating about that kinda thing. But it does very much reflect Will and his personality, so who knows.

I do think it reflects that the writers often write Will as being much older than he actually is -- since a lot of their choices often reflect someone who grew up in the late 80s. But I digress...

<>

Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love

Oh my gosh, this scene.... lol

I can see why they cut it. I mean, it was probably for time more than anything, but I feel like this whole sequence really highlights how Rachel and Jesse 'get' each other. It might also be a lot -- too much too fast, especially when Finchel was a tirelessly slow burn over the previous 13 episodes -- so it's a bit head spinning.

But I do like the scene overall. The song is about growing up -- and discovering your sexuality -- though in the most theater kid way (which makes it kind of funny, tbh). And it's interesting to me -- that while Finn was the subject of Rachel's idolatry, Jesse is a very realized romantic partner for her. And I wonder if one reason they cut it is that it undermines the overall Finchel story when Rachel and Jesse click in a way that Rachel and Finn never have.

(I also wonder if this scene is too similar -- though in a more childish way - to the upcoming Like A Virgin montage that will be coming in the next episode - another reason they probably cut it.)

Anyway, the song is cute, but is a minor inlay of the major fabric of the St. Berry romance.

[yyunari]

random tmi of the day ?

fav food / drink ?

fav subject / topic ?

fav aesthetic ?

any celeb or irl crushes ?

fav book / quote / literature ?

fav song u listened to today ?

fav time of day ?

intro/extro/ambivert ?

ever dreamt of idols ?

10 QUESTIONS FOR U <3

here to spread some joy in the mundane !!!!

omg hii i love asks like these tysm <3

1. im going to buy a cactus and name it choki because of nagi from blue lock 🙏

2. iced strawberry matcha !!

3. how people want more complex characters but they couldn’t even handle rachel berry 🤨🤨 #rachelberrydefender4life

4. my friends tell me i give coquette/fairycore vibes so that🎀

5. no irl crushes bc college but celebrity wise i luv charlie bushnell😻

6. oo this is hard i think my favorite book is wuthering heights though !!

7. wait for me reprise from hadestown or easy by lesserafim 😘😘

8. night time because that’s when me and my bff talk abt gojo😻 @muhwaa

9. def ambivert

10. bruh i had a dream that i went backstage and met enhypen but they were rly mean in the dream LMFAOOOO

[shame-is-a-wasted-emotion]

Rate your favorite ND female characters

Hey question asker! Thanks for asking. It's been long since somebody asked me. I never thought about this question because I solely love Kurt Hummel only with Blaine, Puck, Mike and such. I actually have no ranking for girls as well as boys. But let's see.

In order to get myself away from less trouble, let me rank it in s1-3 and then s4-s6

1.Tina Cohen Queen Chang

She has more plus for me than minus. I am not saying because I am an asian myself but she takes the cake. She sings well(underrated girl), she dances well(they put her in grp A:Better dancers in "Ice Ice Baby") and she is an unsung hero: sewing costumes for and members. She accepted many things without a say. I can feel her emotions.

2.Mercedes Jones

She is a less problematic character. Her smile is just out of the world. She just wonna sing and succeed in her life. I am glad she didn't end up with anybody because she showed me that it's okay to be without a partner. Sometimes, solitude let's you achieve more. I am subjective about her voice but Human nature is my favourite. Her duo with Kurt lit up my screen in early seasons. I didn't like her in Troubletones. It brought worst of everybody.

3. Quinn Fabray

This is somewhat unpopular now. But I prefer her. She started as a normal high school cheerleading head with head weight and had almost everything she wanted. But once she got pregnant, the harsh reality of life hit her life rock. She was pulled down many times after a development but she was a work in process. She learnt that there was life after high school. And she sticking with nd in s3 after Troubletone was formed warmed my heart.

Also, she is one of my favourite voices. She"?'s got stage presence.

I am going to kill myself for ranking these people after this. They had good moments but I disliked them some times.

4. Santana Lopez

She is really ,"darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream". She is Charming, hot (yes, I'll admit) but she was a little Satan. But I survived the NYC plot because of Kurt and her. Until that famous funny girl fight came.

Her rants were okay sometimes, but it got worse in later seasons. She started to rant just because she wanted too. But she was a better friend. She is one of the people who will be like," I can roast my friends like barbeque but I can only roast."

And anybody who says Kurt cried for unnecessary reasons, think of this girl who cried for cutting tanning privileges and for calling out she was mean.

Her voice is subjective too for me.

5. Lauren Zizes

She was nice addition to nd when Kurt left. Plus, Ashley Fink has good comedic timing and is charming. I love her attitude where she didn't give 2 shit about what other people said but she lowkey was a bully too.

Her voice isn't for singing but she is entertaining.

6.Rachel Berry

Her whole character started as somebody who will do anything to achiever her cake. I didn't care about her most of the times but she she really got on my nerves in later seasons. I felt like slapping her multiple times. She doesn't want to listen to anybody, she sent a person to a crack house just because she was threatened, she threw many people under the bus for no reason. She is one of the worse dancers too.

She was annoying downright at nyada and successses were served in her plate. I know she was work g hard but she had to let her work speak, not her mouth. I still can't digest that Rachel kept pestering Carmen when Kurt waited patiently. He did go to Carmen for second chance, but at least he did his first audition better, and he took effort to make a video tape if him singing another song(wake me up before you go go in acoustic version is pretty questionable though).

I was so happy that her tv pilot failed and she became slightly better. Also confusing your boyfriend about his career when he was already confused just so he could be with you?Nope for me.

I do t know how people love her and hate Kurt.

Her songs are totally subjective .

7. Brittany S. Pierce

I don't like her for some reason. She was bland for me. Not interesting. And I don't care for Brittana. Also she posted a sex tape of herself and girlfriend and got away. She kept dating people, she didn't have a stable mind on loving people. Also, her lines were sometimes hilarious but they were insulting.

9. Sugar Motta

Sugar Motta was... There. That's it. She was just a cash cow. She was funny sometimes but she is not for me.

Now for s4-s6

1. Unique Addams

The love child of Kurt and Mercedes. I liked her among later season nd members. She is a diva but she didn't throw people under her bus. Much like Kurt. I like her voice. I didn't like her catfishing but she was ok.

2. Tina Cohen Chang

Her explanation suits her too and I agree her on being bossy because putting up with a glee club for 3 seasons and when it's her senior year, she gotta enjoy and have her privilege. Her crush on Blaine was creepy but I understand. That's it.

3. Madison Mccarthy

She was an adorable munchkin. She was a supportive twin, I liked her energy. Wish we got her more.

4. Jane Hayward

Unfortunately Tumblr doesn't allow more than 10 pics.

I didn't care about her. She was okay.

5. Marley Rose

She was nice. She had great voice. She had sympathetic story. But I have nothing special about her

6. Kitty Wilde.

She was annoying to an extent. But she was better in s6.

That's it, folks. I had a nerve wrecking fun type. Thank you for making me think.

And oh, you can expect my 3rd Valentine one shot by tomorrow :)

See you then. I don't mean to trigger anybody. These are my personal opinion.

[omgmckinley]

SUPERLATIVES, part four

🔍 most likely to lose their head if it wasn't attached, finn hudson

🎓 most likely to buy a fake major, jesse st. james

☕ most likely to end up in middle management, kitty wilde

🪜 most likely to trip at graduation, marley rose

👑 most likely to win a reality show competition, sugar motta

🌊 most likely to get lost at sea, adrian cruz-dumont

⭐ most likely to be on broadway, rachel berry

🏢 most likely to become ceo, hunter clarington

🌍 most likely to travel the world, ali vogel

[mckinleypowerhour]

jesse is actually 24 years old, he's trying to relive the best years of his life which were high school show choir so he enrolled in mckinley as a senior

it's giving peter pan, but not in a cute way. sorry jesse, sweetie, but it's time to let go of the sequins and jazz hands. with the new directions set for a colossal fail, it's totally smarter to bow out now than to wait until the end of the year and bomb high school too. again !! you're pretty, but you're not very bright, bb - just think how much more time you could have with your hens if you weren't always chasing after rachel's berry. spoiler alert, it's a little sour.

[backslashdelta]

Let's flip the script! Of all the canon couples, which are the top three that Kurt would join as a third for an evening.

Well I don't think he would be willing to be the third in any couples involving a woman. So that really narrows it down, because what canon mlm couples do we have that don't involve Kurt? Blainofsky... and Rachel's dads? Blaine/Eli if you don't require it to be a couple and just something in canon. But I think that's all? Unless you want to start counting pairings where there were some romantic/sexual feelings/intentions that weren't acted on/reciprocated, in which case I guess you could also say Blam, Seblaine, and Blaine/Jeremiah.

I could see him joining Blam under the right circumstances. Probably not Blainofsky as they are in canon - there's just way too much baggage all around there. And definitely not Seblaine - that would be way too touchy a subject for him to go anywhere near. Similarly if Blaine and Eli ever actually got together, he wouldn't be willing to join them. He would maybe consider Blaine/Jeremiah if that were to ever happen, but... still probably not.

Maybe the Berrys are top of the list? He did date Walter after all lmao. He could absolutely never say a word to Rachel so.

to clarify I do not actually think he would have a threesome with Rachel's dads

[cerriddwenluna]

writer asks: 16, 24, & 25 :p

*cracks knuckles* Alright, lets do this! <3

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of (yes, I'm switching them round cause this deserves to be above the cut ;))

It's an excerpt from my very first published fic Wild Rose, which is still the most honest and raw fiction I have ever written (Note: This is NOT talking about Kurt or Blaine, I could never kill my darlings ;))

“It is going to take time. It has only been a few weeks since our world got turned upside down. We are going to cry and scream and shout and want to break things and not get out of bed some days. And we will let ourselves take that time to grieve the loss of such a vital part of ourselves. We will feel it all, and then, in time, we will learn to deal. We will keep living. We will grieve and grow and miss you forever, but we will live.”

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Rachel fucking Berry. That damn girl represents every single bully that ever made my life a living hell and I really, really wish I could just despise her but she is so goddamn useful that she somehow keeps sneaking her way into almost everything I write, and not even as a villain... -.-

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

The answer is under the cut 'cause I get semi graphic and long winded in the second part because I don't do taboo subjects. You enter at your own risk lol

The irony (yes, I know this is not the definition of that word. Blame Alanis Morissette.) of you asking me this after we spent way too long google streetviewing the highway between Scarsdale and Bushwick yesterday, just to see what the toll gate looked like, is not lost on me. Especially not considering I then went off and followed that entire route past the plethora of graveyards into Bushwick proper and tried in vain to find any building that looked like it could hold the Loft, while you were off actually being a 'sponsible adult xD

But for a serious answer, I research everything I can (even if it is really not necessary), but the most revelatory one was butt sex. As a cis woman who has no practical experience with gay butt sex, I went off into the deep end, and to my great surprise I discovered that the whole concept of 'stretching' as portrayed in some fiction is actually quite unnecessary. Imagine you are massively constipated and you are passing a truly ginormous log. Would you stretch out your anal muscles first? No! The way these muscles are designed means that they can relax and contract as and when necessary (i.e. pooping), which means that the whole 'stretching' is really quite obsolete. A thing that can be necessary, especially when dealing with a partner with limited anal experience, is to get them comfortable and relaxed which in turn means the muscles will give way easier. Despite the pleasure points located in the rectum and anal passage, it is not actually designed for things to be shoved up there, so it is completely normal to need a period of adjustment, just like with any other muscle group that is having to perform in a way they are not used to. So what actually happens when the receiving partner gets 'stretched' is that the muscles are being given an intrusion to respond to, and they will tighten when tense, but loosen when relax. An experienced bottoming partner's muscles will give way much easier because the body has learned it to be a pleasant experience, but someone who is relatively new to anal sex (or someone who is just really tense) would need to learn to relax around the intrusion. And the way to do that is not by scissoring your fingers to force the muscles apart (nevermind the strength you'd need in your fingers for that), but by making sure your partner is relaxed and comfortable. Just sticking a finger in there and gently moving it back and forth will do just fine. Also, you don't need your whole hand up there to reach the prostate, honestly. Note: You're usually better off building up to full penetration when inexperienced, especially when your partner has a massive schlong like so many fics write either Kurt or Blaine, or both, as having. It is never supposed to hurt! Note 2: I feel this might be a bit redundant too, but LUBE IS OUR FRIEND! And more importantly: SPIT IS NOT GOOD LUBE! Just to cover my own ass here, I don't actually claim to be an expert on this. Yes, there are always exceptions, there is no one size fits all, yadda yadda yadda :P

tl;dr... Butt sex, my friends. Butt sex. Oh, and also anal/penile sex toys and gay male sex positions, for funsies.

[personality-corner]

Rachel Berry

ENTJ

Note: Guess who’s rewatching Glee! I know the majority of people type her as an Fe user, but I don’t see it. She does get her feelings hurt, and she can be manipulative, but these are not traits associated completely with feelers or Fe users. I’m not completely sure Ni is her tertiary trait, because I can also see Si, but this may be subject to change.

Dominant Te (Extroverted Thinking) / Inferior Fi (Introverted Feeling)

Rachel’s driven to actualize her own goals and plans for her future, rather than groups as a whole. She can be very controlling and blunt, especially towards the other members of the Glee club, and uses outer logic to make her arguments. She is a huge advocate of schedules and monitoring every part of herself to be on Broadway one day. To maintain her control over Glee club, and her control over her own life, she makes lists, and creates schedules for herself, in order to hold herself accountable. She has a set of objective logic and personal morals, using objective facts she knows about certain Broadway actors to get the roles she wants.

Auxiliary Ni (Introverted Intuition) / Tertiary Se (Extroverted Sensing)

Rachel is a visionary: she has an idea for Glee club and her future, and she’s willing to push through anything to get it. She wants Glee club to succeed because it gets her one step closer to her dreams. She is also able to use her Se as a way to gather information in the world around her, and become closer to her own personal goals. She also gets sent in a panic when things don’t go her way, or things don’t align with her vision for her future.

[jammie3132]

Fandom: Glee Pairing: Blaine Anderson & Sebastian Smythe Summary: Before they began dating, Blaine told him he wanted to be wooed. Now he’s saying it’s too much and to rein it in. One look at a calendar and Sebastian knows he's screwed. But if that’s what Blaine Anderson wants, that’s what Blaine Anderson will get. Notes: Roses and Chocolates

Season 4 AU: No sad Blaine. Bad Klaine break-up but no cheating. No Hunter. No steroids. Tie at Sectionals similar to what happened in Season 2. In other words, ignore the stupid stuff.

However, this one time, we’ll accept the stupidity of canon trying to convince us Lima and Westerville are practically right next to each other so Blaine doesn’t have to drive 2 hours (each way) to school every day.

September

School had been back in session for a week before Sebastian finally gave into Niff’s whining and agreed to go to the Lima Bean. He’d been avoiding the place because Blaine was always there. They shook hands at Regionals, but nothing came of it. They still weren’t talking. But Niff insisted there was something he had to see. It must have been big considering two cars full of Warblers followed them.

When he walked through the doors, he knew exactly what they were talking about. There, in all his glory, was Kurt Hummel wearing an apron, exactly as he’d predicted last year. Oh, he was going to have so much fun with this.

3 Weeks Later

Fridays were half days at Dalton. It was so those leaving for the weekend had time to prepare. This weekend he was staying back to study for his first big Economics (the subject that was going to kick his ass) test. But he could do that later. Right now, he felt like going on a run. He got ready but then changed his mind. He was still going for a run but was going to drive to Lima instead of using Dalton’s track. There was a little park there with a running trail he enjoyed. It also just so happened to be across the street from the Lima Bean. When he finished his run he could get an ice coffee and participate in his new favorite hobby Annoy the fuck out of Hummel.

After 3 weeks some would think he’d grown tired of it. Those people obviously didn’t know him.

High on the endorphins running gave him, Sebastian mentally organized the new zingers he’d come up with. Unfortunately, when he arrived at the coffee shop Hummel wasn’t there. Blaine was.

Shit!

Before he could make a hasty retreat, his former friend (and first boy he fell in love with for more than 20 minutes) called him over.

Shit!

"Shouldn’t you be in class at that public school you slum in?”

"I’m playing hooky.”

"You? Golden Boy Blaine Anderson is skipping? I’m both impressed and curious. What was so important you brought out your inner rebel?”

"I ended my relationship with Kurt.”

October

Blaine was meant to play Teen Angel. Watching him go down those stairs, dressed all in white and singing like a dream was doing things to him...naughty things.

That day in September when Blaine told him he had ended it with old Gayface, he immediately started his Come back to Dalton campaign. The former Warbler had a dozen reasons why he couldn’t. At the time, only one made sense. He didn’t want to change schools yet again (even though the first one wasn’t his fault). It wouldn't look good on his transcript.

Now, seeing Blaine Anderson own yet another stage, he could see another reason for his choice. Dalton didn’t have a Drama Club. Despite only having one scene, any performing arts college admissions officer would be able to see he was the best thing about this monstrosity. He hated to admit it, but this mess desperately needed Rachel Berry. It wasn’t like they weren’t already using graduates. For some reason Santana Lopez was playing the second female lead. Blaine explained why but all he heard was blah blah blah…Sam’s not happy about it…blah blah blah…he’s dating Brittany…blah blah blah…Santana’s ex.

This bit of information, plus the break-up of Berry and the Oaf gave him enough to keep him entertained both before and after the Teen Angel portion of the evening. Hummel looking back at him every 5 minutes also helped. He made sure to give him a little wave every…single…time.

Blaine warned him it would take around a half hour once the play was over for him to be able to leave, but it had almost been an hour. He assumed the delay was people trying to talk him into going to the cast party at Breadsticks. It was no secret Hummel (and the other graduates) planned to ignore the fact it was a cast party and crash. He decided to give it 10 more minutes before he went to find his unofficial, maybe someday, boyfriend. 

But then the yelling began.

“Are you kidding me? Never mind, I know you’re not. You expected me to sit on my ass and pine for you until graduation. I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

“Sebastian…”

“Sebastian is none of your damn business.”

“I knew you're cheating on me!”

That was his cue. He ran down the hall and around a corner to find Blaine with the current New Directions on one side and Hummel and the graduates on the other. Fucking great. The one thing Blaine made him promise was not to instigate an already tense situation. Wait…he was on the other side of the building. He (technically) had nothing to do with this showdown starting. But he knew a way to end it.

Game on!

He walked through the Old New Directions, winked at the NYADA reject and handed the flowers he brought to Blaine’s new (McKinley) BFF, Sam. Then, without a word, took Blaine in his arms and kissed him…hard. Blaine caught on and jumped up, wrapping his arms and legs around him like a Koala. When he grabbed hold of the Koala’s (perfect) ass to keep him up, the comments began. Applause erupted from the current New Directions side. Sam yelled Go get it, Anderson. There were catcalls from (who he believed was) Lopez. He was a little too busy to check it out.

If Hummel responded, it must have been at one of those pitches only dogs could hear. When they finally broke apart, he was in a best kiss I ever had daze and didn’t know what to do next.

Blaine did.

“Thanks, Babe. And Kurt, I'm not cheating on you. Not because I'm with Sebastian but because I broke up with you.”

“So, you are sleeping with Smythe!”

Now he knew what to say. “Why? You want to watch? Maybe I can teach you a thing or two. The New York Gays aren’t into, shall we say, vanilla. Then again, neither is B. Oh…you didn't know? You're a bigger idiot than I thought. Sorry about that B...in more ways than one.”

"It's alright. I'm sure the differences in my sex life have been highly speculated since you came back into my life."

Dog whistle, incoherent screaming

“Come on Killer, let’s go.” He took the flowers back from Sam and walked over to Artie (the director on Blaine’s side) “Apologies, but Blaine will not be attending the cast party.”

“No apologies necessary”

They went back to Dalton and crashed the Warblers monthly movie marathon. When Nick took Blaine upstairs to get some pj’s his phone started to go off. Of course, it was Hummel. He said to let it go to voicemail, but Thad answered it. He was able to use the words mock or mocking eight times before the other end went dead. The Warblers who were at Dalton with Hummel were literally rolling on the floor laughing. Someday, someone was going to have to tell him what that was about. When Blaine and Nick returned, he told Blaine what happened. He just shrugged then sat down next to him, stealing half his blanket. After grabbing his phone and blocking his ex's number, Blaine told the story of what happened after the play.

The movie marathon was scrapped. The group spent the rest of the night telling stories and laughing. At one point, some of the guys brought down their laptops and graduated Warblers were Skyped in. He learned what was so funny about the word mock. It was his favorite story after the one where Blaine jumped on a 100 year-old table, broke it into pieces and then somehow managed to charm the headmaster into not giving him detention for destruction of school property.

Fucking amazing

Blaine smiled the entire night until exhaustion took over. By this time, he’d hogged the majority of the blanket and was once again practicing being a Koala bear.

Again, fucking amazing

"Hey, Seb. Did we ever tell you about the Gap Attack?”

Thad took off at a full sprint when Blaine instantly woke up at the mere mention of the Gap Attack. It was ok, he knew the story but never got why it was such a big deal. Because, seriously, how could anyone reject such a grand gesture from Blaine Anderson?

November

The Warblers and New Directions decided to combine their We won Sectionals parties since technically they both won.

“A fucking tie? How the hell did we fucking tie?”

“It’s happened before” Sam reminded him, only slightly slurring his words. “When Blaine and he who shall not be named were at Dalton. Blaine took the lead on both songs and knocked them out of the park. Then Quinn and I did an awweeesooome duet. You know, I really liked Quinn but then she started sleeping with…yeah, I’m drunk.”

“Slept with who? Come on Evans!” Good thing that Sugar girl’s basement was huge so there was plenty of other furniture for the others. Sam was out cold. Watching his girlfriend eye fuck her ex all night probably contributed the situation, especially when that Quinn girl actually fucked some guy behind his back. But who?

He needed to find Blaine.

It didn’t take long. He was off to the side talking with the Oaf. If he understood what happened, the guy flunked out of the Army and has now taken over the New Directions since Schuster abandoned them. Fuck! He was also Hummel’s stepbrother.

Everyone knew their kiss after Grease was just to piss-off Hummel. It must have worked because the delusional diva-wannabe had gone silent. That changed today when he called Blaine, five minutes before they were supposed to go onstage. His number was supposed to be blocked but somehow rang through. That could wait. The real problem was figuring out what triggered the call in the first place. Since he wasn’t going to get answers from the fucking narcissist, the Oaf would have to do. “Did you tell the Bad Fairy what a dick move it was to call Blaine right before the New Directions went on stage? Or at least find out what the hell he wanted?”

The Oaf looked toward the ground and huffed, the international signal for you’re not going to like this. “Kurt thought he and Blaine would get back together when he was here last month. When that didn’t happen, he told anyone who would listen he found out Blaine was cheating on him with you even before he left for NYC. Supposedly he's been super depressed enough for his boss to call him into her office yesterday. She told him he’d never be able to move on until he offered forgiveness to those who wronged him. Kurt called Blaine so Blaine could apologize for cheating on him and then he could forgive him.” The Oaf and Blaine silently waited for a response. It wasn’t what they expected.

Full-on laughter

When he was able to breathe again, he sobered (not really, he was still pretty drunk) up to stare the Oaf directly in the eyes. He seemed a little taken aback. It probably didn’t happen very often. The dude was tall, but so was he. “Seb…”

“No, you’re going to listen to me. Tell that delusional son-of-a-bitch to stop saying shit about me and Blaine. If he says no, remind him my father is the State’s Attorney. I will never…ever see the inside of a jail cell. Oh, sorry Blaine."

"Don't be. Even if I wanted to press charges, which I didn't, the idiot gave away the evidence." 

"True." He turned his attention back to the Oaf. No, really turned. It made him nauseous. "And also let Gayface know my new, very good friend Sugar told me her Daddy can dispose of a body so it's never found. Got that?”

“Yeah, I’ll take care of it.”

He (slightly) nodded his head (still nauseous) and backed off. Blaine was smiling that smile that made him want to drop to his knees and offer everlasting fidelity…and give him a blowjob. However, this wasn’t the time or place. “Now that we’ve got that settled, can one of you tell me who the asshole was that fucked Sam's girlfriend behind his back? I need to kick his, or her, ass. No, I can’t hit a girl. Hey, Sugar! Come over here. I might need a favor!”

December

“Explain it to me one more time.”

"You understood the first time. You understood the second and third time.”

"I understand the part about Sam and Brittany getting married…”

"Fake married”

"But they didn’t know it was fake.”

Blaine lifted his coffee and gave it a slight tip, acknowledging his point. “Touché. So, what don’t you understand?”

"How Sammy-boy is still walking around. I thought Lopez would be here on the first flight out of NYC. She might not be as delusional as Hummel, but even I can tell she thought Britt would come running back if she changed her mind. The true question is she pissed because her ex moved on, or that Britt moved on with Sam, Satan's other ex?”

"You know about Sam and Santana?”

"I know he was just a beard but didn’t know it. Those girls in the New Directions treated your BFF like shit, which is really, really bad considering I'm the one saying it. You’d think he’d be quite the catch with those lips. Since he’s on team vagina…”

"Stop! Sam’s my best friend.”

"Are you telling me you’ve never thought about what those lips could do if he was on his knees…”

"Oh my God! Don’t put that thought in my head!”

He had to admit he’d thought about Sam that way a time or two, but it was always centered around Blaine. Primarily, what would happen if the guy was a switch hitter. He and Blaine were extremely tactical together. He’d watched them hug more times in 3 1/2 months than his parents had in his lifetime. They also had a cool nickname…Blam. He and Blaine needed a nickname. Bastian? No…Seblaine. Image Hummel’s meltdown hearing the Seb in his name replacing the K in Klaine.

"Earth to Sebastian. Please tell me you’re not thinking of Sam giving you a blowjob.”

"I wasn’t until…kidding. I’m only kidding.” He took a sip of his coffee before changing the subject. It was time to push things forward, or at least find out if it was possible. “But I was thinking about how close you and Sam are. I mean you were practically holding hands the other day when I picked you up. If your BFF could be your BF, would you be with him?” Well, that sounded stupid.

"Have I thought of me and Sam together? I'm a 17 year-old gay boy and he's gorgeous 17 year-old boy with six-pack abs. Of course, I've thought about it. But I'd never do anything to jeopardize our friendship."

Good! “So, if Blam is totally platonic, what about dating in general? You’ve had enough guys hit on you at Scandals. Or are you still not over Hummel?” Please be over him, please be over him.

"I don’t think the guys at Scandals are looking for dates. And I’ve been over Kurt for a while now." YES!!! "I should tell you something.”

That didn’t sound good. “Anything”

“Burt, Kurt’s dad, came to see me the other day and asked me to go with him to NYC for Christmas, obviously to see Kurt.”

WTF?! “He knows you and Hummel aren’t together anymore, right? Or didn’t he care.”

"It’s not like that.” Blaine finished his coffee before sitting back in his chair. “You can’t tell anyone.”

"Done.”

"He has cancer. Cancer is what killed Kurt’s mom. Burt’s going to NYC to tell him in person.”

Great, now he feels like an ass. "I’m sorry. I know you’re still close to him despite everything. But that doesn’t explain why he asked you to go.”

"He thought I would…you know what? I don’t really know why he thought it would be a good idea. Sam overheard Burt on the phone with Kurt and he mentioned our annual Christmas duet tradition. Maybe it was something to do with that.”

"Christmas duet tradition?”

"The first song Kurt and I sang together was Baby, it’s cold outside. And you saw the Christmas TV Special the New Directions filmed last year.”

"And you were great. But you said annual tradition.”

"Last year and the year before.”

“Killer, doing something two years in a row isn’t an annual tradition, it’s a coincidence.” For some reason Blaine began to laugh then volunteered to get them another round of coffees and a couple of Christmas cookies. When he returned the laughter had stopped, but the boy across from him seemed lighter somehow. “What did I say to put you in this mood? Not that I’m complaining.”

"Don't get mad but I was feeling a little sad about the Christmas duet tradition until you called it a coincidence."

O...K? "Why?"

"When I took the time to look back on my relationship with Kurt, I realized we didn't have a quote/unquote thing. The closest I could come was the duets."

"Nothing else? You were together over a year."

"Exactly. He gave me red and yellow roses once, but it was his attempt at an apology for accusing me of stealing Tony, West Side Story, from him. Even before the official announcement, it was pretty clear I had the part considering Artie had me read with both Rachel and Mercedes. Don't ask." He made the locking gesture over his lips. This sounded like the beginning of a rant, and he didn't want to stop progress. Hopefully, it would give him the information he had (badly) been trying to get since they got there.

"After that, every romantic gesture came from me. Hell, I weaved together a bow-tie ring out of gum wrappers. Don't ask." Wouldn't dream of it. "Oh, I forgot. He did give me a stuffed dog when my brother he was visiting, who by the way, Kurt didn't try to hide his massive crush on. Anyway, I was so touched he thought of me that I didn't wrap my head around the story of the dog until later. The seniors were at the amusement park for Senior Skip Day. Rachel made Finn play the games so he could win her stuffed animals. On the way back, Kurt thought of me, or Cooper and thus me, I don't know, and realized he didn't bring me back anything, which he said he would. So, he stole one of Rachel's multiple animals and gave it to me, saying she wouldn't miss it. He didn't win the dog. He stole it and then told me like it was no big deal."

"That's...that's a lot."

"I've got dozens more."

"No, that's ok. I believe you." And he had enough information. Anything more would just piss him off and cloud his focus. "So, what you're saying is when you're ready to date, you want to be the one who is...I know there's a word."

"Wooed. Yeah, I want to be wooed. And not just wooed. Bigly wooed. Hugely wooed. No, humungously wooed."

"I don't believe anything you said was grammatically correct."

"I don't care. I want chocolates and roses..."

"Just not red and yellow ones."

"Exactly! And besides being humungously wooed, I want to be with someone I don’t have to hide myself from. He’d have to accept my inner Geek…comic books, video games, Star Wars…”

Shit! "That eliminates me from the pool of potential boyfriends. I will never understand Star Wars. At least the canon…”

"Oh My God!!! I told Sam to stop sending you links to clone/clone smut!”

"I can’t help it. I find them fascinating. I mean, they’re clones of the same guy. So, the clone is basically having sex with himself. How is that not Masturbation?”

December 23 in Lima/December 24 in Paris

"Hey, Killer. I thought we agreed to Skype on the 26th after we opened our gifts?"

Blaine smiled and picked up Sebastian's (already opened) gift. "You got me a stuffed dog!"

"It's not the 26th!"

"I can't believe you actually thought I'd wait!"

Yeah, he should have known better. "Just so you know, I didn't win him, but I did build him."

"You went to Build-A-Bear and made me a puppy? You know what Build-A-Bear is?"

"Trent did. Then I asked Sam if he thought you'd like it. He showed up with Tina because she wanted to make sure I didn't fuck it up."

"You...?"

Something changed. Blaine had been like a hyperactive puppy...oh, now he gets the whole Puppy Dog Eyes of Doom thing Sam went on and on about. "You ok Killer?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm great." It looked like he hugged the stuffed animal tighter, but he couldn't tell for sure. The Skype was a little fuzzy. "Open your gift."

"No..."

"Open it. I want to see your face." When he came back with the box, Blaine was practically bouncing through the screen. "Open it!"

"Ok, ok...oh. Men of McKinley?"

"January and December."

"Jan...oh, shit!" 

"Remember when I told you the New Directions had to raise money to get a handicapped accessible bus for Regionals? Ta-da!"

"Um..."

"Speaking of January, December, do you want to get dinner before Sugar's New Year's Eve party?"

"Sure. Breadsticks, since it seems like that's the only place the New Directions go?"

"No, when I said dinner, I meant just you and me."

🎉🎉🎉"That sounds great."

December 31 11:59 PM/ January 1 12:02 AM

When the kissed ended, he lowered his head to put their foreheads together. "Blaine Anderson, I promise I am going to humungously woo you like no one has been humungously wooed before."

February

Blaine was in the Warbler Commons holding the basket he had delivered to McKinley. The Warblers were nowhere to be found. Thad told him Good Luck when he literally ran into him in the hallway but didn't say anything about canceling Warbler practice. Regionals were in 3 weeks. "Hey Babe, do you know where the guys are?"

"I asked them to give us some privacy." He held up the basket before setting it on one of the sofas. "You've got to stop, Bas."

"You don't like the puppies? They're for Bas Dog. The puppy with the pink bow is Alexandra and the one with the blue bow is Devon." Blaine sighed, then took his hand, taking him to the sofa across from the basket. "Did I do something wrong? You're the one who said you wanted to be humungously wooed."

"And I love being humungously wooed by you, but it's every day and I can't imagine the amount of money you've spent."

"That's not my fault, it's yours." Shit! He didn't want to tell Blaine this but no lying or hiding feelings was their Rule #1. "Remember the day you came to my house to help put away the Christmas decorations?"

"Yeah, there were a lot more than I thought there'd be considering your family spent the holidays in Paris."

"When you're a politician, you've still got to keep up appearances. Anyway, New Year's morning, after my wooing promise, I realized something. I had no fucking clue how to woo someone. Then I made a humungously big mistake. I asked my mother."

"Your mother is a lovely woman. Maybe a little over the top."

"No, and I love her, but she's an overbearing French snob who looks down on everyone and everything...except you. You come over, being all charming, (air quotes) forgetting not to call my parents Ma'am and Sir. You brought delicious homemade muffins you baked that morning because you didn't have a hostess gift. I invited you for manual labor not a dinner party."

"It was the polite thing..."

"And then when you and Mother went missing, and Dad and I found you both at the piano singing the score to Les Misérables? My dad pulled me aside and told me he was doubling my weekly allowance but called it my Don't fuck this up fund. Later that night, after you'd gone home, Mother came to my room and gave me a 3-hour lecture on wooing. Then she told me she was tripling my weekly allowance but called it my Don't fuck this up fund."

Blaine's smile was the only thing holding back his laughter. "Did you tell Vivian your father had already given you a raise?"

"Not at first. I thought she was just adding on to what Dad had already done. But when I checked the next day, the original amount was now five times larger. I told them but they waved it off. So, long story short, I haven't spent nearly what I could have. I didn't want to freak you out. And if you haven't guessed, my parents really like you."

"My parents like you too. If my father says the word "upgrade" one more time..." Blaine kissed his cheek but he could tell it was about his developing relationship with his father more than what they were discussing. It sometimes overwhelmed his boyfriend (he loved saying that) how he and Patrick Anderson got along so well. "Thank you for telling me what your parents have done but I want you, and your parents, to understand something. You're an amazing boyfriend and not because of the gifts. Ok, not just because of the gifts. If you don't believe me, believe the universe. You got into Harvard and I'm going to Berklee. We applied to those schools last year, when we weren't talking."

"Berklee was your backup school."

"Yes, at the time, but I could've chosen NYU and didn't. Something was steering me toward Boston. You're stuck with me. And maybe Brittany. Evidently, she's some sort of math genius and MIT is flying her out for further testing."

"That...that...that...huh?"

"I can't explain it either. I'll let you know when I know." Blaine got up and came backed with the two stuffed animals. "I love being wooed by you. Puppies for Bas Dog is incredibly sweet. The problem I have is you keep sending everything to McKinley."

"Are any of those assholes giving you crap because your boyfriend is sending you gifts?"

"No, it's not because you and I are gay. It's because Valentine's Day is next week. Today, a group of guys came into the Choir Room after Glee begging me to ask you to stop. Their girlfriends are constantly pointing out what you've sent me. No way can they live up to those expectations."

"That's not my fault."

"I know, just please, nothing else to McKinley until after Valentine's Day."

"Fine, but afterwards we're back to humungously wooing?"

Blaine sighed and gripped his hand tighter. "I told you, I'm not going anywhere."

"But..."

"I had an idea. Have you heard about Wes' Lent Challenge?"

"Yes, but you know my opinion on organized religions. They call me an abomination. I call them a bunch of hypocritical pedophiles."

"And I agree, but the Challenge wasn't about religion. It was about creativity, but we didn't get to choose what to give up. I had to give up boy band moves for 40 days. We were getting ready for Regionals!"

"Boy band moves?"

"And jumping on furniture."

"Ah, that makes more sense." Something about the way Blaine was looking at him let him know he wasn't going to let this go. "What's your idea?"

"Let me show you my Blaine Anderson everything has to be over the top skills and allow me to take over Valentine's Day."

OH, HELL NO! "That's not going to happen. We can both do Valentine's Day."

"That's what I figured you say. But I want you to understand, I'm with you because of you, not that you're the King of Humungously Wooing. You do believe that, don't you?'

Uhhhh... "Maybe"

"I know the Lent Challenge is a bit extreme, but I couldn't think of another way to get you to stop wooing me and let me prove to you how we can be really great without it."

Maybe he'd been going overboard. At first, he could blame having no idea how to be in a relationship and then bringing in his parents. Then Hummel found out they were together and conveniently came back to Lima to check on his dad, despite just beginning classes at NYADA. If he was there for his dad, how come he was at McKinley daily "helping" Schuster and the Oaf get the New Directions ready for Regionals? That's when he started sending the gifts to McKinley. But once he started, he couldn't stop. Ok, Hummel said something about Blaine will dump him once the gifts ended and he'd be there to pick up the pieces. 

He wasn't proud that he'd let it get to him.

"So, nothing to McKinley until after Valentine's Day. Then wooing, just not humungously wooing. And then, the Lent Challenge." He leaned in and kissed his boyfriend...his boyfriend. Yeah, he should learn to accept that. "When does Lent start?"

"It's not like Christmas. It's the 40 days before Easter and Easter's usually somewhere in April."

Later that evening, he pulled out a calendar to find out exactly when Lent began. 

Oh, shit! He's so screwed.

But if that’s what Blaine Anderson wants, that’s what Blaine Anderson will get.

February 14th

The next week was pretty great for him and Blaine. Sam on the other hand...

Brittany broke up with him via text, when they were in the same room, because her cat told her to. The next day she flew off to MIT. The breakup (dumping) was most likely due to that, but the cat story was more fun.

Sam's pain was real, and he kind of felt bad, but it gave him the opportunity to woo Blaine but look like he was cutting back at the same time. Thankfully, even after all the money he's spent to this point and the money he was spending on Valentine's Day, there was still a substantial balance in his Don't fuck this up fund.

Sugar told him she didn't know what guys did, but when girls had a breakup, they usually spent the next few days in bed with friends (to tell you what a jerk your ex is), ice cream (to eat your feelings) and a movie (probably the Notebook). That wasn't going to work, but it gave him an idea. He and Beat (the Warblers gaming expert) went to the mall. Two Play Stations and multiple (including the latest Marvel and Star Wars) games later, they moved on to the grocery store. Sam watched what he ate (obsessively) so he didn't know what ice cream to get. He bought them all along with everything he needed for a sundae bar.  

While took the haul back to Dalton, he went to Hummel's house to kidnap Blam. He thought the Oaf was going to swallow his tongue when he opened the door to see him standing there. It wasn't a picnic for him either.

Sam protested but Blaine convinced him to go with it. When they got to Dalton and saw the setup...2 large TVs with a game station on each, stacks and stacks of pizza, a wide variety of non-alcoholic beverages (the good stuff was for later) and a freezer full of ice cream...the McKinley boys were in complete shock.

"Sugar told me about the ice cream, Notebook, friends version of a post-breakup party, but Sam's a dude. I thought video games, junk food, ice cream and later, alcohol, sounded better. And for once, you're not going to scrutinize everything you eat. We'll deal with the aftermath, you know, after. And before you ask, I didn't invite anyone else from McKinley because Britt is their friend as well. Here, you can trash her all you want and nothing gets back to Satan."

As the Warblers took Sam under their wings, Blaine drug him to his dorm room and gave him the best blowjob of his life...times 10! Not that he expected it to happen but...holy shit! Maybe there was another way to woo Blaine Anderson.

But that was last week. Today was Valentine's Day. The creme de la creme of romantic holidays. All other wooing meant nothing if he didn't get this right. He knew it wasn't true, but it sure felt like it.

He honored Blaine's wishes and sent nothing to Mckinley. They agreed to meet at Dalton and he was pretty sure some of the guys were helping Blaine with something. It was driving him nuts. To make it worse, his Economics (his worse class) teacher noticed he was distracted and called on him constantly. Asshole!

When class ended, Jeff took one arm and Nick the other. Without explanation, they escorted him to the Conservatory on the other side of the Academy. Blaine was at the grand piano wearing the same outfit he was wearing when they first saw each other. He was even wearing the bowtie, which he didn't do as much anymore. 

When your legs don't work like they used to before And I can't sweep you off of your feet Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And, darling, I will Be loving you 'til we're 70 And, baby, my heart Could still fall as hard at 23

And I'm thinking 'bout how People fall in love in mysterious ways Maybe just the touch of a hand Well, me, I fall in love with you every single day And I just wanna tell you I am

So, honey, now Take me into your loving arms Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars Place your head on my beating heart I'm thinking out loud

Maybe we found love right where we are

"Did you like it?"

"I loved it. You know Ed Sheeran is one of my favorites right now, but, isn't there more?"

Blaine picked up a gift sitting on the other side of him and brought it over. "I thought we'd save the rest of it for later."

He opened the box and... "Holy shit! These are front row! And backstage passes! How? I thought about this but he's not performing near here."

"I know, those are for his Boston show. It's during Spring Break. I thought we could go check out the campuses and surrounding area. It would be nice if we could find a coffee shop before we actually move there."

"Oh, wow, yeah. Wait a minute, your parents agreed to me and you going to Boston unchaperoned?"

"So, did yours."

"That's not surprising. They love you. I wouldn't be surprised if they find some apartments for us to check out while we're there." He leaned in to thank his boyfriend for the amazing gift when... "Seriously Killer, how did you get these? From what I've heard, he doesn't allow backstage passes unless he personally approved them."

"Cooper"

"Cooper? You're brother, Cooper?"

"When Ed first moved to LA he lived in the apartment across the hall from Coop. They became friends. Since my brother had never asked before, Ed was more than willing to help him out. However, this does mean I owe him a HUGE favor. I don't really want to think about it." Blaine went up on his toes and kissed him before taking a step back, obviously anticipating something. "Well?"

"Well? Oh, you want your gift." He reached into his messenger bag and handed his boyfriend a small box. "I hope you like it. I tried to remember everything you told me."

Blaine's blazing smile faded the moment he saw the contents of the box. "A chocolate bar and a plastic flower?"

"Rose. It's a rose. I remembered when you went on your original wooing rant, and you said you wanted someone who would give you chocolate and roses. And I hope you noticed it's white, not red or yellow."

"I noticed, but...I mean, I know I asked you to scale back, but it's Valentine's Day."

"And?"

"And what?"

He opened the calendar on his phone and showed it to his thoroughly confused boyfriend. "Today is Valentine's Day and the first day of Lent. Easter is early this year. Maybe next time you get a big idea, you should make sure of the details before implementing it."

It took a little bit of time before Blaine put it all together. "The Lent Challenge. You were supposed to stop with all the gifts for the Lent Challenge."

He tried hard to suppress the snark in his expression but couldn't. "I couldn't get you nothing..."

"Oh, no, this is great. You did exactly what I wanted."

"Excellent! Let's go to the Commons. I want to show the guys what my wonderful boyfriend got me for our first Valentine's Day." That was laying it on a bit thick, but he'd already gone this far. Blaine trying to smile and saying how much he loved the candy bar and dollar store flower was pretty pathetic. "That's strange" he said when they found the doors shut. "We've got practice in 20 minutes." He opened the doors and stood off to the side.

"Oh...my...God!" Blaine ran right past him. Inside the Commons were seven (one for each week they'd been boyfriends) bouquets of a dozen white roses. There were also a dozen handmade chocolate hearts from the best chocolatier in Paris. 

"Like I said. I remembered you wanted to be with someone who would give you chocolate and roses. I thought maybe you would forgive me this one..."

He couldn't finish the sentence when Koala Bear Blaine returned, kissing him with everything he could put into it. When it ended, there were tears on both their faces. He's never understood happy tears until Blaine came into his life. "Are you ok?"

"More than. And I promise, I will never question your wooing again."

20 Years Later

The noise of his husband and children carried up from the kitchen to his bedroom, even with the door closed. Sebastian was making Alexandra and Devon heart shaped pancakes as he had every year since they ate solid food. He always made sure not to go down to the kitchen until they were finished. This was a tradition between just the three of them. Sebastian also kept up the tradition of giving him chocolates and roses for Valentines Day. The most memorable was during their senior year of college. They flew to Paris so Sebastian could take him to the chocolatier who made the chocolates from the first year. Inside one of the hearts was an engagement ring.

He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a small box. It was the secret he hid from everyone, even the man he married. Inside were his two favorite possessions in the world…a chocolate bar wrapper and a plastic rose. The moment Sebastian explained the logic behind them, he knew he’d marry that boy someday. He had listened to him. He had paid attention. No one had done so in a very long time. THAT was the greatest gift he ever received.

"Daddy”

He quickly put back the box and turned to see 4 year-old Devon, the spitting image of his husband. They were in so much trouble in approximately 10 years. “What are you doing here Mr. Man? You know the rule about knocking.”

"Sorry Daddy, I’m xited.”

“That doesn't excuse not knocking. Now tell me, why are you excited?”

"Papa put choccy chips in the heart cakes! And he making flower cakes!”

“Chocolates and roses” he couldn't help but smile at the fact Sebastian was still a total romantic. He'd always been, it just took him a while to trust it. ”Wow, those sounds amazing!”

"Can you eat flower and heart choccy chip cakes with me and Ally and Papa?”

"Oh Sweetheart, pancakes are your Valentine tradition with only Ally and Papa.”

"But Papa says we can have new dition with you. But we has to do it three times or it’s a co…co…”

Killer, doing something two years in a row isn’t an annual tradition, it’s a coincidence. "The word is coincidence and your Papa is right, as usual. Let’s go start a new tradition.”

Thinking Out Loud: Sheeran, Ed 2014