#subject: alaric avery

[blood-red-hummingbee]

I HAVE COMPOSED A LIST OF THE FANKIDS

IF YOU WANT TO BE PUT ON, OR I MISSED SOMEONE, LEMME KNOW!

I'M ORDERING THIS BY CANON CHARACTERS CUS THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I COULD KEEP TRACK

Riddle - @justm3di0cr3; Ivrine with Emory - @beneathsakurashade; Riliane with Kanae - @amethystjewel01; Thorn and Ruby with Yuuna

Ace - @4necdote; Draven with Whitney - @screamintoad; Jane with Rory - @ashipiko; Avila and Alex with Ashi

Deuce - @skibidibabygirl; Angel and Diana with Isa

Trey - @moonyasnow; Hilda, Julian, and Hazel with Junia

Azul - @oya-oya-okay; Azuma, ShiShi, Azusa, and Shou with Shuu - @taruruchi; (Aure)lia, Cass(ius), and Julian with Taruchi

Floyd - @angelwishess; Emelio, Marven, and Alora with Kyra - Barbs; Suzette and Summer with Grace

Jade - @gimmeurmoneyagh; Melusine, Lorelai, and J(esse) with Yumi

Leona - Also Moony; Nuru with Tomoe - Mah; Kinja with Isabelle - @h0neybane; Maya and Obuya with Evelyn

Jack - Me; Joey and Luna with Rose - Moony; Genevieve and Toby with Victor - Crow; Shiloh, Sasha, and Gemma with Rory

Ruggie - @midnightmah07; Maggie with Daisy - @twtysevapr; Mika and Lana with Mina - @cheerleaderman; Charlotte with Dion - Myz; Diana with Sam

Jamil - @bunniehunn; Claude and Hayat with Flori - Jan; Bella with Astrid - Addie; Zyran with Dranav - Barbs; Maron, Maeve, Jiya, and Ichaa

Kalim - @babyghoul138; Aisha, Daniyal (I don't know if I spelled that right, lemme know Myz!), and Arham (though that one's subject to change) - Mah; Yasmin, Bazel, and Daim with Jeanne

Vil - Barbs; Flora with Eislyn - Algy; Belladonna with Rosienne - AJ; Alois and Naomi with Yuuki

Epel - Addie; Binnie with Poppy

Rook - @offorestsongs; Rosemary with Lysander (I think there are a couple more on the way too)

Idia - Jan; Kore, Atlas, and Helene with Yuya - @amai-sakura-chan; Nova and Soleil with Ame - @buttholesparkles; Zagreon and Melinos with Maya

Sebek - @theolivetree123; Avery with Constance

Silver - Crow; Fleur and Alaric with Blanche - Jan; Alicia and Tristan with Airlea - Algy; Paloma with Jóvia - Kanae; Chrys(anthemum), Dahlia, Sage, and Edel(weiss) with Shion

Malleus - Moony; Malina, Malachi, Mallory, Malek, Maleah, Malcolm, Malindt, and Malissa with Irina - Barbs; Anthony, Rosa(lynn) - AJ; Malin and Malorie with Yuuto - Me; Aria with Emmelia

Niege - Moony; Roza with Spike

Che'nya - Barbs; Lucy, Louie, and Bennet with Anneliese

and last but not least: Olive's Nikohopper bebes; Daisy and Louis!

AND WITH THAT I TAKE MY BOW! THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

ONCE I HAVE A COMPLETE LIST, I SHALL COMPILE THE SCHOOL/DORM FANKID CHART! <3

[upinsmoke-gossip]

How many babies are due in '81? It's a lot, right? And all of them are definitely going to be cuter than Daphne Greengrass.

We all know that Diana has the eyes of a bunny and Malcolm has the smile of a Cheshire cat, but I don’t think that child will have any other great attributes so the sea is wide for other cuter babies and we have quite the number. 

First, there’s the whole Finnegan shenanigan. Hilda and Patrick Finnegan were once deeply in love and rumors have it she left Patrick for American painter, Caleb Goldstein, but between her love affairs, she got pregnant. My money is on it being Patrick’s but who knows? We can all be surprised in March when it is Caleb’s. The little rascal will draw a media frenzy on St. Patrick’s Day apparently. 

There’s also the little child from Pandora and Alaric Kane. They’ve had quite the year and are incredibly cute to the point it makes me nauseous and now they have a child on the way, due in the middle of Spring.

We are also looking forward to Juniper Dunbar and Sirius Black’s child. Their whole relationship has been a complete surprise and I can’t even remember when Juniper had morning sickness but that child should also be due in the spring. 

I know it’s hard to believe but the Weasley’s are having a seventh child. Is it Molly Weasley batting her eyes at Arthur Weasley for another child or is it the other way around? How many kids do you have to have before getting a vasectomy? Maybe that’ll be the next father’s day gift to Arthur. There’s six out of six boys and Molly is telling everyone she’s pregnant because she wants a baby girl. I hope she’s right because eight doesn’t sound like a good number.

There’s also Lily Potter who has been spotted in public throwing up on people’s shoes following morning sickness symptoms. I hope James Potter is rubbing her back and doing whatever he needs to make this easier for her. Perhaps advising her to stay on the couch and not go outside. 

That’s all I know so either everyone tapped out at the end of the year and no one else is pregnant or my sources aren’t doing a good enough job of snooping out who else will be sporting a bump in the fall season. So if you’re counting, that’s five on my end. If we get word of twins or more additions I’ll inform you.

[alarickane]

Life is not a love song, we can try

The holidays were supposed to be a time for family and yet Alaric had been avoiding his family even before the holiday season fully settled in, happy parents holding hands and window shopping for their children while Alaric dodged all inquiries and invitations that he could from his own parents.

They'd wanted to know who he was going to the Yule Ball with and he'd prevaricated, insisting he wasn't sure if he'd be going and questioning if a date would be appropriate considering Gisela's death. Basically, he'd lied through his teeth while smiling at his mother because he knew that if he told the woman that he had a date with a muggleborn girl, a girl he was in a relationship with, that it wouldn't go over well. He remembered the way they reacted to Dirk, after all, and he didn't want the list of politely suggested pureblood women to turn into something else like a short list of future brides.

When Christmas grew closer, there were owls. A lot of them. Eloquent missives from his mother asking about his plans and if he'd be joining them, how work was going, and wanting to know how much time he'd have away. Really, his mum nearly wrote his excuse for him that time, making it easy for Alaric to claim that work was busy, there was a large order that had been destroyed and needed to be dealt with, that he wouldn't be able to make it home and sent both his parents his best like it would really have been difficult to step through the floo for an evening to see them.

That was just another thing that was politely ignored.

Of course, Alaric's parents weren't fools and there was only so long he could avoid them... which was better than Ari, at least, because Alaric had never managed to avoid them. He usually didn't want to, but it seemed that the older they became, the fewer opinions they held that remained the same.

You need to come home

it was his father's bold script and short, no nonsense manner, the one that said there were certain things that Avery men did and certain things they did not. Alaric knew that tone and knew he was going home.

December 28th, 2pm.

The letter arrived the day after Christmas and that didn't seem like enough time to prepare for facing his parents, but it was enough time for him to begin to panic about what they could know. It could be something innocent, it could have been about Ari's time being questioned by the Ministry, it could be that something had happened to his aunt in Azkaban, it didn't necessarily have anything to do with the fact he kissed a girl in Hogsmeade after Halloween, that he let her stay with him after her roommate disappeared and that she was his date to the Yule ball.

Maybe it didn't have anything with the fact he loved her.

Getting ready to go back to his childhood home and see his parents felt akin to slipping on an old skin, dressing himself in layers of propriety and perhaps shame that he'd slowly been discarding since... well, since the first time he'd met Pandora, hadn't it been?

Although he couldn't give Pandora all the credit, talking to Dirk had helped him as well and that was another thing his parents likely wouldn't take well to. They'd warned him about Dirk's influence last time and told him what they thought about his 'proclivities', after all, hadn't they?

"Alaric."

It was his mother that greeted him first after one of the house elves showed him into the study, one of the poor thing's ears looking blackened, charred as if by the fire in the grate and Alaric wondered almost absently what the creature had done to provoke enough ire for that. Maybe the silver hadn't been polished properly.

They approached each other just enough that they could take hold of each other's elbows, exchanging air kisses as the smell of her perfume made him think of dying flowers left over from a funeral decaying upon a gravestone. Her dress was dark, a burgundy reminiscent of wine and she was clearly in good health, so he hadn't been called because anything was wrong with her, and the fact neither of his parents were in black led him to believe his aunt hadn't been given the kiss, either. Not that she would have been dead, just soulless, which really had already been a subject for debate.

"Hello, mum," He said in response before turning to his father. Nothing but a handshake there, but that's how things had been for years. Since leaving for Hogwarts, probably, so it didn't really matter and it wasn't unexpected, but it did help remind him of how casually affectionate he'd become with people lately. He'd hugged Delilah that last time he'd seen her and could probably get away with hugging Gil, too.

Actually, it was Gil, so cheek kisses might be acceptable, too.

"What was so urgent?" He said it with a mild tone of concern and a look of puzzlement, but if he was concerned about anything, it wasn't for how his parents were doing. He wanted to think they'd summoned him there because of Ari, but Alaric couldn't really bring himself to believe that. The idea of Ari needing someone else to help look out for them seemed too far fetched and if they needed a lawyer or an alibi, his parents wouldn't be going to him.

"Son, sit down." His father said as he sat down and steepled his fingers, and oh, that wasn't good. That serious 'you're in trouble' stuff and Alaric's jaw tensed as he bit back the instinctual 'yes, sir' and sat down.

"We know you've lied to us." The man started, his tone dripping in disapproval.

Well, bless his father for never beating around the bush.

"You've been seen repeatedly with a blonde woman that we've been told works for the Quibbler." The man's lip curled as if the word itself was distasteful and Alaric was aware of the reputation the Quibbler had, but that didn't mean Pandora wasn't good at what she did. "And who is muggleborn."

And there it was, the real issue they had. It wasn't about her job or her name or where she was from, but her blood. It always seemed to come back down to blood in families like his and as Alaric remembered the worry that had choked him when he first told Pandora about his family, he felt a sort of distant anger prickle at his skin. "I'm sure I've been around several women that are blonde. As for muggleborn, it's not a habit of mine to check their blood status." He responded as neutrally as he could, mentally recalling every blonde that he'd spoken to recently before adding on as an afterthought, "I don't check their occupation, either."

How the hell did they know Pandora was a muggleborn, anyway? Some blasted Ministry contact, most likely. But not Ari. He hoped not Ari.

"Lies, Alaric. You took this woman to the ball."

"Mother wanted me to attend," Alaric countered, stubbornly defiant in a way his parents likely thought he'd grown out of it. It was almost nice in a way to prove them wrong, even as his stomach churned anxiously, their disappointment running over him like an oil slick.

"You're not going to use her name?" He asked, letting out a disbelieving huff before shaking his head, hair falling in his eyes. "You seem to know everything else about this woman, don't you know that?"

His father's lips thinned, anger flashing in his eyes, but it was his mother that spoke next. "And what are your intentions towards Miss Kane?"

Oddly enough, it was his mother's ire that he feared more than his father's, her cold precision and cool manners more intimidating and Alaric swallowed back the first thought to come into his head. To court her. It was the truth, he wanted to make sure that Pandora felt special and important and not like entertainment on the side that didn't measure up to other options his family would approve of. To love her. Well, he'd found himself doing that without much thought on his part, hadn't he? Besides, it wasn't like love was something that mattered to his parents. He'd loved Dirk and they rewarded him for that by arranging his marriage to Gisela.

Lowering his head, Alaric noticed a scuff mark on one of his boots and knew what his parents wanted to hear. Nothing, he didn't have any intentions towards Pandora, just like they didn't have any regard or respect for her at all. They accused him of lying to them before, but that felt like the ultimate lie and Alaric couldn't bring himself to say it, didn't want to. He didn't want to disrespect Pandora or his feelings for her lie that and besides, he's promised her better.

The fall out from Dirk had taught him better.

"I'm... not really sure," Alaric finally said slowly, lifting his eyes and wondering where Ari was, why they weren't present. It was probably a good thing they weren't, but he thought of them anyway, of the way they'd always fearlessly announced their decisions and who they were. Their parents may not have always understood or initially approved of Ari, but it always seemed like they were proud of them in the end. They certainly weren't going to approve of what Alaric was doing and they weren't going to be proud, but that was fine. They weren't the ones that Alaric wanted to be proud of him anymore.

Instead, Pandora was, and Dirk, too. And maybe even Gil, who'd grinned at him so brilliantly at the ball while showing off his engagement ring and mentioning Pandora. He couldn't let them down.

"But I know this much. I know she matters to me and that I don't care where she works or what her blood status is."

His mother's laugh was harsh as she leaned back in her chair, settling herself in while Alaric's father stood up, circling around to grab a glass. Scotch, of course. The only thing a real Avery would drink, and Alaric only watched his father long enough to determine his path before returning his gaze to his mother, ignoring the sound of glass on wood.

"Foolish boy," His mother chided. "You said the same thing about that Cresswell man, didn't you?"

Mentioning Dirk felt like a low blow, but it was true and Alaric knew that was something he had to live with, prompting him to lift his chin up and push his shoulders back, readying himself to have painful, shameful memories pulled back up. "Yes, I did." He said.

And I shouldn't have failed him, he thought.

"Good," His mother said, throwing Alaric. He hadn't expected her to be pleased, of all things. "Then we'll handle this situation the same as last time. You'll end this ridiculous dalliance and we'll find you a proper match, but we might need to do something to discredit this girl first. We'll find someone better this time - It can even be another blonde, if that's to your tastes, I think the Greengrass family has a child around your age..."

It was happening again, like someone had set a record on to play and it was finally starting to repeat. It felt like the bottom of Alaric's stomach had dropped out, his skin cold despite the fire in the room and Alaric's chest felt tight like there was a metal band restricting his breathing. Once again his mother was detailing his life while his father sipped and scotch and nodded, like she was handling some minor inconvenience to him that he didn't really care about and was only waiting to sign off on, like party expenses or house elf replacement or something like that. This was his life, they shouldn't do that.

"No." It came out quietly and not entirely evenly, something that Alaric soon realized and he cleared his throat before repeating. "No. I'm not going to do that."

"No?" His mother repeated, the word admittedly not one he said to either parent much and the sound of it had caused her to instantly shut up. "And just what do you think you're going to do instead?"

Standing up, Alaric glanced over at the scotch with a sense of longing before sighing. "I don't know, but you're not going to try marrying me off again. It made me miserable and besides, you're already getting a perfect marriage out of Ari. Leave me out of it."

His mother stood up as well, the distance closing between them as she stalked forward on tiny spike heels and glared, pink dots on her cheeks. "Excuse me?" She said, dangerously quiet and still completely polite, his father watching them with interest in the background. "Do you really want to disappoint us again, Alaric? Do you want to bring shame to our name? I won't let you do it, you're not bringing our family down for some illicit affair with a muggleborn. You'll either find a proper girl to marry or you will no longer be part of this family."

The shaking feeling was back, but he didn’t know if it was from anger or fear as he thought about the future his parents wanted before thinking with unwavering certainty, If I'm marrying anyone, it's Panda. "Fine." He said. "Then do it. Disown me. Burn me from the family tree because I don't want to be your ideal son anymore."

He saw it coming, but Alaric did nothing to stop it as his mother's hand flew through the air and slapped him across the face, the stinging sensation swift and sharp. It wasn't the first time she'd done it, there was a reason Alaric didn't like people reaching for his face, but it would likely be the last time.

"You've never been an ideal son." His mother hissed, and it was only at that point that Alaric realized his father stood up.

"And now I'm not a son at all," Alaric reassured her, turning away and going for the fireplace instead of the door that would take him out of the front. The chair on the mantle had held floo powder for as long as he could remember and it still did as he lifted off the lid and took some in his fingers. "Make sure to tell Ari they're an only child now, won't you?"

Not waiting for their response, Alaric tossed the floo powder into the fire and stepped in, yelling "Diagon Alley."

If he was lucky, his parents would thinking he was bluffing or they actually would get in touch with Ari in an attempt to make him change his mind. It didn't really matter what they did to Alaric as long as it bought him a little bit of time. He knew they would follow through on their threat eventually and disown him, but before they did, he planned on making it to Gringotts and getting as much money out of the family accounts as he could.

And after that, he was going to buy a damned engagement ring.

[smokehqs]

ALARIC KANE

Occupation: Herbologist Age: 25 Gender: Male Pronouns: He/Him Blood status: Pureblood Allegiance: Neutral Faceclaim: Dominic Sherwood

You were a good son, even though being the youngest bought you freedom. You were in Ravenclaw like your father and his father before him. You got the grades they asked for. You were even the captain of the Quidditch team, leading Ravenclaw to victory twice before you graduated. The face everyone saw was every bit the perfect pureblood son– no one saw the cracks of doubt underneath, the way you didn’t want to fight the war your father believed in. No one saw the affairs; not even the woman you promised to marry has any idea who you really are. No one sees the plans you’ve made, to slip out the back door and run far away from this life.

HISTORY:

Although the younger of the two Avery heirs, Alaric was always aware of the expectations held for himself and for Alex, neither of their parents subtle in their desires and just like any child, Alaric wanted to make his parents happy and to be close to his sibling. He enjoyed the attention he received for doing something right and while he wasn’t competitive, he also enjoyed learning and discovering new things with Alex, the thrill of something new inside of him very early on. His father always said his children should go into Ravenclaw and like a lot of demands his father had when Alaric was young, that seemed like it would be the perfect thing to do.

It wasn’t until Alaric made his way into Hogwarts that he began to see problems with fulfilling all the expectations his parents had. For as hard as he worked to be what their parents wanted, Alaric would look around at his fellow students and see them living different sorts of lives, the kind with options and that lacked the same pressure Alaric always assumed was normal from parents. All of the children he’d known before going to school seemed to be in the same situation he was, their parents having specific ideas about how life should be and they all knew they would follow along the map their parents presented them with for their future no matter how often they questioned ‘why’.

Alaric had been one of those children, asking why he needed to go into Ravenclaw, why blood purity was so important, not thinking that his parents were wrong, but still wanting to understand despite how young he was. Back then, it seemed to him like Alex never had the same questions he did and sometimes Alaric wondered if there was something wrong with him for needing to ask, if he was wrong not to have the same blind, unshakable faith in the decision of their parents. It wasn’t until he heard all the stories from muggleborn students and halfbloods that Alaric began to understand that his curiousity didn’t mean he was wrong, just that what his parents wanted was wrong for him, that he’d been born into the wrong family.

If there was one thing he’d learned long before attending his first class at Hogwarts, it was that you couldn’t erase blood, Alaric knew he couldn’t change his life by simply pitching a fit. His parents had taught him more obedience than that even if they hadn’t managed to instill the same values in him, so instead Alaric kept quiet and tried to live up to their expectations that he could reach, studying with the intent of becoming prefect followed by head boy and balancing out academia by spending time out on the quidditch pitch. But even that wasn’t for his own pleasure, Alaric approached quidditch like it was another subject at school to master and making sure that he did his parents proud to avoid the sting of disappointment.

Even though he was the second child and there was more pressure on Alex, Alaric graduated still feeling as if everything he did was for his parents. They seemed to have a say in every part of his life and as tensions between the purebloods and the rest of wizarding society grew, Alaric felt even more trapped by his family name. There was a war brewing and his father believed in it with the same certainty he believed in everything with, the same way he believed that Avery men belonged in Ravenclaw to be absolute fact. It was an intense devotion that Alaric had never felt towards anything and as he was roped into an engagement that wasn’t his choice, Alaric stopped deluding himself and admitted that his parents hadn’t planned only his life, but possibly his death.

He would get married, he would fight, then one day he would die and if he was swept up in a war he didn’t even care about, Alaric knew there was a chance his end would come sooner rather than later. The ease with which his family seemed to be willing to offer him up as a pawn for their own ideology was the final straw and while Alaric continued to pay lip service to the views of his narrow-minded parents, Alaric began to dream of ways he could escape his life and turn into someone else. No longer would he be a Ravenclaw student, an Avery heir, Alex’s younger twin, instead he would define himself in a new way that wasn’t contingent on his blood and Alaric began to count the days until his rebirth would come.

After spending a lifetime defining himself by other people, Alaric thought that being free of them and being able to start over somewhere new where his name wasn’t recognized by a soul would be a good thing. It seemed like the very definition of freedom and he looked forward to it with a sort of anxious anticipation. It wasn’t like the anticipation that came with leaving for Hogwarts, it wasn’t the pleasure of going on holiday, it was something more severe than that, and he had it all carefully planned out. Routes, maps, methods, Alaric knew the exact date when he would leave because there were certain things he was good with and being organized was one of them.

What he wasn’t good with, however, was people. He didn’t have the same instincts for people or the same understanding and perhaps that’s why he never expected the war to touch him personally, nor did he react to Gisela’s death in the way he might have thought he would. Alaric hadn’t wanted to marry her, but he hadn’t exactly wanted her to die. He hadn’t planned to feel guilty about it, hadn’t planned to feel responsible, hadn’t planned a lot of things.

It still happened. Just like falling in love happened and that, really, is when all of his planning ended up fucked.

Alaric had been down this road before, he knew exactly how his parents would react and he had no desire to be engaged to someone else right after burying his first fiancee, so he knew that things had to be quiet and secretive and Alaric hid his relationship for as long as he could from the people that he’d always tried to earn the approval of. He’d long since realized it was useful to hope they’d be proud of him, why not turn around and do something behind their backs?

But of course they thought on, there was only so long Alaric could avoid his parents and he thought that would have been the end of it, his relationship with Pandora gone the same way his relationship with Dirk had blown away in the wind, but it wasn’t. Chances were that Alaric himself was the most surprised person in the room when he decided to be disowned instead of give up love a second chance, the decision to get engaged to a woman he’d only known four months something made in a single moment and not something he could come back from.

For some long, Alaric had thought of himself as the second Avery heir, as Ari’s twin, and then, in the course of a single night, he was removed from the family, disowned by his parents and out of touch with his twin, the person he considered the other half of his soul. Even though he’d planned on running away from them all, suddenly being cut off from them left him adrift and Alaric struggled with accepting that he’d lost the people he once defined himself to be. But that was fine, he thought, because he could define himself by Pandora, the woman he loved. He could define himself by his job, his love of plants. He still had those things, or at least that’s what he told himself.

The months kept rolling and the war kept going. Friends were lost, dead or fled from the war. Dirk left the country, Ari was arrested for murder, and Alaric had to admit if only to himself just how terrified he was of a future where he kept losing people. No one was safe anymore and he certainly wasn’t. He was a blood traitor engaged to a muggleborn and he knew very well that wasn’t what most of the people he called friends in his childhood would call her, but they were hardly friends. There were few people that Alaric could name and know with certainty wore Death Eater masks, but he assumed most people he knew from his younger years were, and being part of the Sacred 28 was something he almost considered to be automatic membership for that select group that seemed fueled by hatred and blindness.

Even with Pandora by his side, Alaric still wanted to run away. Go on and find a beach somewhere, sit under an umbrella and sip from a coconut while Pandora read a book by his side. Exactly when that became his ideal future wasn’t something he could pinpoint, but it was something he wanted regardless. Some people might have believed that the war was nearly over, but Alaric couldn’t help but see another decade of fighting stretching out before them, the years marked with more death.

Some people might have been optimistic, but Alaric never was.

CONNECTIONS:

Dirk Cresswell: Ex-boyfriend, still talks but few know

Gisela Rosier: Engaged until her death, unfaithful to

Ari Avery: Twins

Augustus Rookwood: Mourns

Lucian Ollivander, Kveta Yaxley: Used to sleep with, is now despised by

Sofiya Nott, Adelaide Boot: Despised by

Peter Pettigrew: Feared for by

Levi Bulstrode: Friendly

Pandora Kane: Married

FLED · PENNED BY CL

[upinsmoke-gossip]

All the children and staff back to Hogwarts. What do you think the parents and spouses left behind will do with their newfound free time?

Well, depending on the parents in question, they may try to make another kid. Most of the parents I know only have kids that are too little to send away to Hogwarts, but I imagine they’d appreciate the chance to have some quiet and time to themselves, too.

As for the other halves of the professors, I imagine people like Marcus Bulstrode and Alaric Avery are still busy setting up house since both of them moved to Hogsmeade to be closer. 

Fabian Prewett is another professor that’s attached to someone, but I haven’t heard anything about his little wife being around, I wonder if that means there’s domestic trouble brewing?

Then there’s Walden MacNair, who I hear is building his wife a house while she’s away, so maybe his efforts will prove to be of use by the end of term. Do you think the house will live up to staying in a castle for a year? She’s American, so who knows what she may like.

@marcus-bulstrode @pureavery @fabian-the-prewett @toomcnairtocare

[upinsmoke-gossip]

which of the upcoming weddings are you most excited for?

It would be hard to top Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy’s beautiful celebration, but if anyone’s going to do it it would be Diana MacMillan. Isn’t she an events planner or something? Regardless, I swear I’ve been hearing about her wedding since before Malcolm Greengrass even popped the question. They are engaged now, right?

Then of course there’s the two sets of sweethearts that remind us all that purebloods are actually capable of love-- Dmitry Nott and Kveta Yaxley have joined Daisy Hookum and Walden McNair on the list of people so in love it makes me want to vomit. Can’t deny that that’s a good sign for a wedding, though.

Then there’s the Averys-- Ari Avery and Valentina Nott have been engaged so long they might as well be married at this point, but considering Alaric Avery chose Pandora Kane over his family their wedding is bound to be worth going to. Popcorn, anyone?

@softboi-malfoy @dianacmacmillan @themalcolmgreengrass @nott-amused @yaxleykveta @missdaisyhookum @toomcnairtocare @valentinanottt @pureavery @pandorakane

[upinsmoke-gossip]

I think Pandora Kane is hiding something. What do you think?

I mean, who could blame her? Let’s not forget that half of the pureblood community wants Pandora Kane dead. By the looks of it, someone tried damn hard to make that happen. And that’s not even counting what just happened to her roommate-- gotta hand it to Victoire Fortescue though, it took the Death Eaters a good few tries before they finally got her.

For her sake let’s hope that the only thing she’s hiding is, like, an elopement with Alaric Avery or a grand vacation with Sybill Trelawney. 

@pandorakane @v-for-victoire @pureavery @sybillxtrelawney

[upinsmoke-gossip]

Do you see any couples breaking up soon?

Something tells me Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange might be heading to divorce, and that something might just be that I’ve literally never seen them look happy to be in the same room together. That’s just my two cents, though.

Even more imminent seems to be Anson Wood and Kingsley Shacklebolt-- I’m not sure if you could have called them a couple to begin with, but I’m guessing they certainly aren’t one now after Kingsley lowkey killed Anson’s sibling.

Then there’s Alaric Avery and Pandora Kane-- did you see what happened to her? If that girl has any common sense, she’ll flee for the hills. Or France, that seems to be a popular thing lately. 

Lastly-- and this one might just be wishful thinking-- Delilah and Amycus Carrow. There’s no feminist anthem powerful enough to convey the sort of cheering I’ll be doing when Delilah finally leaves that asshole. 

@editor-in-strange @bellatrixleblack @ansonwood @kingmeshacklebolt @pureavery @pandorakane @delilahxcarrow

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Next ones to get married?

Considering Fabian Prewett and Austen Travers’ surprise wedding, I understand why you’re asking, so I’ll let it slide.

I know you might be expecting to hear mention of Asher Westenberg and Amelia Bones, but please, don’t be ridiculous. A woman like Amelia Bones is going to have something like that scheduled and we’ll see her time table well in advance of the event, so they’re definitely not next.

With as much as I’ve heard about Narcissa Black’s engagement to Lucius Malfoy, I feel like that wedding will never happen, but Merlin’s beard, please let it be soon so I won’t have to hear about it again. There’s only so much I can take and I’ve hit my limit.

I remember rumors once about twins Ari Avery and Alaric Avery having a double wedding once and even though they’re both engaged, to Valentina Nott and Pandora Kane, respectively, I doubt they’re going to be anywhere around each other on their wedding days now. Considering how long Ari Avery’s engagement has been, they’re unlikely to tie the knot with Ms. Nott any time soon and from what I’ve heard, Ms. Kane isn’t rushing into marriage, either. Cold feet, perhaps?

With as quickly as Kingsley Shacklebolt and Anson Wood hooked up, maybe something else will end up slipped into their drinks and they’ll find themselves down the aisle as well. They have that sort of puppyish, thoughtlessly enthusiastic affection going for both of them, so why not?

@fabian-the-prewett @austentravers @ashernotashes @theyoungestamelia @nrcissablk @ariavery @pureavery @valentinanottt @pandorakane @kingmeshacklebolt @ansonwood

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What scandals would you like to see?

Hmm... I think we’ve certainly had quite a bit of scandal lately, given that nasty business with the former Minister (that poor owl...). That being said, drama is the spice of life! 

Rabastan Lestrange and Alecto Carrow looked awfully like they were planning something at that awards ceremony, which is a terrifying thought. Someone needs to put Lestrange on a leash and remind Carrow to stay on the right path-- maybe the details of some of their misdeeds coming to light would sort them out. Something tells me Amycus Carrow and Rodolphus Lestrange won’t be being the voices of reason, though.

We’ve had a lot of happy announcements and very few real nasty breakups lately, haven’t we? It’ll be interesting to see what happens with Alaric Avery-- he’s got to say goodbye to either Ari or Pandora. Something tells me it won’t be pretty either way. 

I wonder what Diana MacMillan thought when Malcolm Greengrass didn’t get that award after all? She doesn’t seem like the type of woman to take being toyed with lightly, there might be some potential for disaster there too.

@bazlestrange @carrows-heir @thesecondcarrow @pureavery @ariavery @pandorakane @dianacmacmillan @themalcolmgreengrass

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which couples are the next to break up and who do you think will get engaged next?

Not that he’s dating anyone right now, but I bet that if Edgar Bones actually tries hooking up with anyone, it will be a disaster. I predict right now that any future relationship he has will result in a break up just because he girl he makes eyes over is taken.

Has anyone ever seen Daisy Hookum with Walden McNair? Pureblood marriages aren’t set in stone, you don’t need to look any further than where Sofiya Nott and Evan Rosier were discarded by defecting intended spouses to see that. Besides, that Walden is supposed to be a charmer and Daisy is… well, besides American, she doesn’t seem much like a pureblood, does she?

Ugh, can our boring domestic couples just get married and get it over with? I’m tired of the song and dance between Ted Tonks and Andromeda Black, to be honest.

That said, rumor has it that Alaric Avery was seen buying a very specific piece of jewelry, but who knows if he has the guts to do anyone with it? I wonder if Pandora Kane knows what happened to the last girl he gave a ring to?

@edgbns @missdaisyhookum @sofiyaxnott @unspeakabletonks @andromedaablackk @pureavery @pandorakane

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Which purebloods are the biggest muggle lovers?

Ooh, are you looking for sympathizers? Anyone that has the little of blood traitor is a good first guess, but I’ll see if I can point out a few more for you if you promise not to make this into a hit list.

I feel like it would be a crime to start this list off with anyone besides Arthur Weasley, who’s made a name for himself thanks to his odd fascination with muggles and their toys. It’s not a very good name, either, and Arthur’s not very popular among the purists for it, so if anyone is the king of muggle loving, it’s him.

Then, of course, you have the ones that are quite literally muggle lovers. Rumor has it that both Andromeda Black and Sirius Black have been seen getting very close with people claiming less than perfect pedigree. I wonder if it’s a family trait? Even better, I wonder what Bellatrix Lestrange thinks about it.

Come to think of it, wasn’t there something about Alaric Avery and a muggle? Hmm, they must make good bedfollows.

But to get our minds out of the gutter and go back to family traits, Gideon Prewett seems to have the same fascination as his brother-in-law when it comes to muggle inventions and I’ve heard he can actually lecture on muggle science, isn’t that an odd hobby for an auror? 

But I suppose that means at least it’s safe, there’s a rumor going around that whatever happened to Victoire Fortescue could be related to her work at a muggle shop, you never know what could make you a target these days.

@kingarthur-weasley @andromedaablackk @siriuslyxpadfoot @pureavery @giddy-prewett @v-for-victoire

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Who is most likely to cry in public?

Rumor has it that Dirk Cresswell and Alaric Avery were seen teary eyed in public not long ago, so chances are that both of them could be crybabies on display with the right push. You’d think they’d have more common sense, don’t you?

But maybe common sense doesn’t have anything to do with it, because have you seen Jason Gently? I could be wrong here, but stereotyping says he’s the sort of guy that could end up in tears for any reason at any time.

@dirkcressed @pureavery @jasongently

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I heard Ari is planning to disappear their brother in order to make the muggleborn-loving rumors go away, but if they disappear his girlfriend too, I think it will only make the rumors worse.

You’re right there. The both of them disappearing just makes it seem like lovers away on a holiday. Best go one at a time.

@ariavery @pureavery @pandorakane

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@alicegracefortescue // @pureavery // @kvetayaxley // @carrows-heir

xoxo, gossip goat

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Most likely to hook up?

Anyone and everyone, if you ask me. With people like Aurora Sinistra and Madailein Brown around, it’s not hard to get lucky in a place like this, so if you’re suffering from a dry spell, give those two ladies a look. You’ll enjoy the view, trust me.

But if you’re looking for a hook up that might last more than a night, there’s a lot of people with potential if they could get their shit together. Frank Longbottom and Alice Fortescue give each other eyes often enough that I don’t understand how they haven’t died from frustration while word has it that Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks have completely skipped all the fun stuff and moved on straight to being a boring married couple that share the paper together. Those two couples represent two extreme ends, the only people I can think of that fit the middle are Pandora Kane and Alaric Avery, who were seen dancing together at the Carrow wedding and someone didn’t look like they were in mourning.

@sinistraborealis @madaileinxbrown @frcnked @alicegracefortescue @andromedaablackk @unspeakabletonks @pandorakane @pureavery