#stupidest reveal scenario

[arcanarix]

Come What May (Suguru Geto/F! Non Sorcerer Reader)

AO3

Word Count: 6.7K

CW // cunnilingus, penis in vagina sex, geto being a pining mess, mc being oblivious

Dark, sinister storm clouds rolled over the sky; the distant sound of thunder rattling your bones as you approached Star Religious Group’s temple. Its reign as high and mighty as the local legend foretold.

For the past few months, you encountered a strange phenomenon. Millions of eyes staring at you wherever you went. Invisible hands roaming all over your body. Moments where you couldn’t breathe—almost like you didn’t know how to anymore.

A local suggested a visit at this temple. Suguru Geto, the organization’s leader, successfully exorcised clients in the past. Many considered his gift to be one from God.

Somehow, you weren’t so sure. It seemed more like a curse to see things others couldn’t. A curse to carry a burden like that alone. To see demons. To see the worst in humanity…

You exhaled slowly. This could either be the smartest or stupidest decision ever. That would only be determined when you met the man in question.

You decided to take a leap of faith, entering the exorcism room when someone allowed you inside. You waited, bouncing your leg as the anticipation began to kill you inside a little bit.

Finally, Geto entered the room, slipping past you as if you didn’t even exist in the same area as him, stepping onto the raised platform before taking a seat.

You froze, your heart skipping a beat. Guess all of those rumors were true: he was the handsome devil. With a charming smile and long, luscious locks of thick black hair cascading down his back. And so tall. You noticed some areas of his hair had been braided, likely by his adopted twins you heard rumors about from locals as well. He clearly took pride in his appearance, using it to gain more followers to his absurd cause.

With a face card like that? You couldn’t blame the guy.

A part of yourself imagined nasty scenarios already.

“So what brings you here today?” That charming smile of his, while inviting at first, began to feel more strained and plastic under your gaze. You ignored the uncertainty pricking at your insides like pins and needles. “Haunted, are we?”

“Y-yes,” you began, twiddling your fingers in a vain attempt to soothe your nerves. “I haven’t been able to shake it off. Whatever it is—!”

He raised a hand, signaling you to silence your babbling. You obeyed, a bead of sweat dripping down your brow, no questions asked. He studied you, his smile melding into a frown.

“Try not to move,” he instructed in a bored tone as his hand struck out.

Within milliseconds, the weight on your shoulders lifted, and you gawked at him. He looked like he grasped something in his hand.

“Wow,” you breathed, feeling a wave of relief wash over you.

The sky split with a deadening crack, followed by a loud clap of thunder.

He chuckled as you jumped in your spot.

“Feel free to stay until the storm goes away,” he stated, “The temple is off the clock now.”

You quirked an eyebrow. From what you’ve heard, he rarely allowed clients to overstay their welcome. Once his business with you was done, he didn’t have much need for your presence. Yet he allowed you to remain.

“Thank you,” you replied, allowing yourself to get comfortable on that pile of red cushions. Your hands took note of how smooth and soft the fabric was.

“Ah, forgive my lack of manners. I didn’t get your name.”

You peered at him with curious eyes.

You told him.

“A pleasure,” he responded, his eyes prying open and revealing stunning pools of violet, gazing upon you like he was king, and you were a mere peasant. But something else flickered in his stunning gaze—intrigue. Why, pray tell? You hadn’t the slightest idea until he went on: “Those were some powerful spirits attached to you. I’m surprised you survived as long as you did with those aforementioned symptoms.”

Eh? But you didn’t mention anything to him. Not a single word of your symptoms.

How would he know? (Then again, he likely saw this millions of times before. It might not be so shocking of a revelation.)

Not soon into the proper introduction, a lady with bouncy pink wavy hair interrupted you, entering the room and alerting Geto of a matter of, to him, minimal importance. He excused himself for a few moments, brushing past you with an unreadable expression on his face.

With your own curiosity getting the best of you, you zeroed in on as much on the matter as you could.

Your eyebrows scrunched together as you could make out a bit of the hushed conversation between the secretary and Geto. His voice had an edge to it as he spoke, like a blade, muttering some monologue to her about how he’d been exorcising “monkeys” for the entire day but this particular one—of course he meant you—decided to stay behind until the storm outside died down. Surprise etched across the secretary’s face from his sudden hospitality, but Geto dismissed her, and slid the door shut behind him before turning his attention back on you.

That look in his eyes came back. Not of disdain necessarily, but of curiosity. Like he sensed something unique about you and wished to covet it for himself.

Should you whack the wasp’s nest?

You cleared your throat, twisting around as he returned to his raised platform to settle back down.

“What inspired you to do what you do?” you inquired. You bit your lip as he only stared at you, perhaps annoyed.

“It’s a natural talent of mine, to purify that which is impure,” came his simple answer. “If you are referring to my otherworldly beliefs, that is a matter personal to me, and nothing someone like you could understand.”

“That’s a bold claim,” you quipped, offended. “But you do have a point, I guess. Not everyone is so open to such…ideals.”

He didn’t respond for a moment, only hummed in contempt.

“Of course I have a point,” he replied, “There is always a purpose in everything I ever do, say, or think. Other humans…such monkeys, they’re just running a circus out there.”

Well, you thought. Not like he’s wrong about that.

You shared some of his disdain for society (definitely not for the same reasons). Part of why you moved far away from home and came to Japan. You hoped to leave it behind, and maybe lead a more fulfilling role. You didn’t have much to go on other than pure ambition. You wanted to channel it somewhere.

And somehow, something compelled you to explore your potential in this realm. Something bigger than yourself.

Suguru Geto didn’t seem to mind the temporary babysitting of some ‘lowly monkey’. Was he lonely? Got fed up with his mindless legion of followers? Perhaps he missed challenging conversations? Or if not challenging, at least engaging ones?

Perhaps he just needed a friend. Though you doubted he’d see you as anything other than a speck of dirt.

You ended the silence that fell around you both for a minute too long. Never mind the storm brewing outside.

Pitter patter. Pitter patter.

CRACK!

“You seem to hold quite a bit of contempt for humanity,” you observed, tilting your head while locking your eyes with his steely violet gaze, assessing him. Reading him with an open mind, and like an open scroll, and not at all fazed by him equating humanity to monkeys, which given the theories of evolution, you couldn’t even call his belief entirely false. “I can’t say I blame you. Humanity has been responsible for all of society’s shortcomings.”

Geto raised an eyebrow at that statement, as he hummed in amusement. Your lips pursed. Perhaps he believed you, like him, became disillusioned to society.

“Do you now?” he sighed, resting his chin on his hand. “Do you dare to insinuate that we share the same belief? That humanity cannot be saved?”

And better eradicated? Wiped out? Not necessarily, you mused to yourself, but dared not utter those musings out loud. You didn’t want to risk death.

Yet here you still were… whacking the wasp’s nest for the sheer fun of it. Because you wanted to see how far this could go.

Because you desired a bit of brain stimulation.

Because maybe you sought some kind of companionship, too—in whatever form that may come. You were lonely too. That was part of why you came here.

A fresh, new start. A fulfilling purpose. Something to keep you on your toes. A reason to keep going.

“On some levels,” you conceded, remaining seated on those plush red cushions while picking at the dirt between your nails. Suguru Geto—the notorious leader of the Star Religious Cult—whose reputation preceded him. You showed indifference, which got under his skin. Maybe because you wanted to see what he would do in a position where someone beneath him further enabled his cause, but not in the way his mouth-breather followers had.

Your gaze never left his, cold, scrutinizing. “Perhaps your grand scheme could use some refinement, though. I’ve heard much of what you preach. Through your sermons. Through the locals here. The mass extinction of humanity is ultimately futile.”

“Then what do you propose?” he countered, irritation laden in his tone. You were impressed he didn’t slaughter you on the spot for questioning his grand scheme; instead, he seemed fascinated, intrigued—a little spark in those stunning pools of amethyst.

“Rather than extinction,” you began, shifting in your seat. “Which will ultimately fail due to the population of weak humans to the strong, by the way. Revolution. That is more effective. Advocate to cleanse the filth in a way where the chosen ones you claim to wish to protect can co-exist with their lesser human counterparts. After all, who is to say you even need to acknowledge them?”

His expression didn’t budge, driven by a hunger to dissect your thoughts further.

You humored him. He humored you, after all.

Why not even the playing field?

“Is it really so simple?” he scoffed at the absurdity of your suggestion. “How do you propose we do that?”

Now you were getting somewhere! All you had to do was lay a few more of your cards on the table.

But not so soon!

A smirk played at your lips. “Are you suggesting a partnership, Geto? My…suggestions don’t come for free.”

Geto rose from his spot on the raised platform. He stepped down, approaching you in a few long strides. He gazed down at you, still not with the same contempt which he possessed for the rest of humanity, but with fascination.

Every nerve in your body sparked to life, pulsing with anticipation and the heady rush from it all. Challenging a powerful, ‘magical’ being? You might have had a death wish.

No, you definitely had a death wish.

You just didn’t find yourself minding that about yourself anymore.

“What do you want?”

“Some cash is nice, since I’ll need a stream of income, but not just that,” you replied, tone wavering. “Make me strong. Make me your partner. And in return, I guarantee your success in making the world the way you want, Geto.”

Silence hung over the two of you once more. He tilted his head, resting it against his long, slender fingers, his lips pressed into a thin line. Was he genuinely considering a new recruit to his cause? Did he sense something in you that you didn’t even see?

After what felt like a lifetime, he finalized the deal.

“Suguru,” he corrected quickly. “Partner.”

Your smirk widened, impressed with his willingness to cooperate and to humor you; your eyes twinkling, and he matched yours.

Ah. He played right into your grimy, scheming hands, just as you hoped. It spared you on the spot slaughter. Or maybe you fell face first into his trap, caught by the leg, and now you would pay the price for trusting his word so openly.

Aw, what the hell? You needed a little spice in your life, and you held little regard for your past way of life some time ago. Maybe you wanted to seek salvation. Maybe you just wanted to live a little—see if you could breathe some life into your dying heart.

Suguru Geto hired you as a strategist in his family—a decision which drew contempt from everyone in this temple. Unsurprising, given Geto’s infamous reputation and the nature of his ambitions. But the disapproval didn’t faze or deter you. You saw the opportunity for what it was: lucrative, and with handsome payment. For as long as the arrangement was mutually beneficial, you had no issue working alongside the notorious leader of the Star Religious Group.

Though others bristled at your presence, Geto seemed unbothered. He remained immeasurably close at your side, neither ahead of you nor trailing behind. Always there, like a damn leech. You ignored the glares or whispers which followed the two of you, because frankly, you didn’t care.

At first, you chalked it up to formality or perhaps an attempt to display some kind of begrudging respect toward you. But that conclusion didn’t sit quite right in your gut. You knew his kind—his worldviews didn’t leave room for genuine equality, especially between someone like him, and someone like you. You doubted he would ever truly view someone like you as an equal.

Yet none of his actions got past you. Always watching, always waiting. It wasn’t always obvious of course, and anyone else might have missed it, but you definitely noticed. His gaze lingered on you, often longer than it did on others. He didn’t seem as appalled by touching you like he did his other followers who were human. He observed your every move, fascinated by how you remained untouched by the animosity aimed at you. Not only did your indifference intrigue him, but it was also likely the cold calculation behind your eyes, how you seemed to operate purely on logic and reason—a trait he found lacking in other humans. Which, truthfully, he wasn’t wrong. You, too, found most people infuriatingly devoid of reason.

Whatever. You had better things to do than to ponder on something like what else Suguru Geto could possibly want from you. You focused on the task at hand, and you weren’t about to allow idle conjecture to distract you from it. If he threw challenges your way, you would strategize your way through them alongside him.

Yet, you still caught moments where his lingering stares felt like they had no place. You couldn’t pinpoint why and dismissed it as nothing more than curiosity.

He saw value in your insights; that was all it was. Nothing more, nothing less.

During your one-on-one meetings, Geto gave you a high-level overview of his world—the world of jujutsu, cursed spirits and how they came into existence. From negative human emotions. If you had to be honest with yourself, it all sounded like total bullshit. Well, until Geto handed you a tool imbued with cursed energy for you to see spirits yourself. The moment you wore those glasses, the sight of those spirits roaming around him left you speechless. He casually explained his cursed technique to you; he had the ability to manipulate the spirits he exorcised to his advantage.

It took about a month or so into your new way of life before he began to drop a few more bombs about himself and his past. To your surprise, you felt indifferent toward the countless unforgivable crimes he’d committed for his cause. In a strange way, you even found his devotion… admirable.

Most people were afraid of going after what they wanted. You weren’t one of them. Perhaps that was why he found comfort in your presence.

More months passed. You learned more about jujutsu sorcery and curses—and more about Geto. Often, against your will, but he seemed oddly open with you. You didn’t care one way or another. As long as he found use in your insights and your ‘refreshingly’ open mind, you would remain.

Over time, you found yourself becoming more loyal to him.

He definitely seemed pleased by the development.

During one of your debriefs, Geto shifted from his usual ramblings to engage you in a philosophical debate. You humored him, of course. You weren’t in a position to dismiss the chance to learn more about his grand plan. He spoke of creating more conflict between sorcerers and non-sorcerers, of going directly to the source of the problem.

“Humanity as a collective is perplexing,” Geto began, meeting your eyes. “Humans try so hard to be as boring as everyone else yet also condemn those who want to remain the same. They also punish those who succeed and crush those who dare to be different, who dare to challenge society. Whether they show a speck of talent or something extraordinary like us sorcerers…well, like me, not you. Humans would rather cram everyone and everything into that same miserable, broken little box. Why do you believe this is the case?”

You nodded, sharing his disdain. Even if to him, in spite of your intellect, you were just another one of those monkeys.

“It’s simple yet complex. Humans cling to what’s familiar. Whatever threatens that familiarity becomes a target.”

What was that old concept? The Uncanny Valley—where people got creeped out by something that appeared human, but somehow wasn’t. In a way, Geto definitely embodied this concept—human by birth, perhaps, but gifted with abilities far beyond the average mind’s comprehension.

However, you weren’t an average human mind, either. He had come to accept someone on his level—your non-sorcerer status aside.

“Exactly,” he replied in a whisper, as a lazy smirk graced his features. “So why bother playing their little game? Utterly asinine, is it not? We sorcerers in jujutsu society were sworn to protect humanity, yet they show no gratitude for the blood, sweat, and tears we shed, or the lives we lost. In fact, often, we were shunned for it. Ostracized. My twin girls were about to be killed for actions they were not responsible for simply because they possessed a gift, not a curse. Do you understand where I’m coming from?”

“It’s completely understandable you feel that way,” you replied, keeping an even tone. Had you been in a similar position, you would probably arrive to the same conclusions Geto had—should you blame the man? Honestly, you still found him admirable in spite of the havoc he wreaked upon both jujutsu society and humanity. “However, your methods in changing the status quo are obviously questionable. Ultimately fruitless. But the longer I’m with you, the more I wonder if you are aware of this.”

“I am,” he answered without skipping a beat. You quirked an eyebrow at that; you didn’t miss how much more open he became with you, and this was one of those moments where that became more apparent. Not only in how he engaged with you in these discussions, but with how much touchier he became around you. You weren’t sure if you could call it endearing given the kind of person he was, but it was close enough. “Let me let you in on a little secret.”

He leaned in, so close that your breaths mingled. You held your breath.

“I never intended on this plan to succeed.”

Huh? That came out of left field. Your pulse accelerated, struggling to steady your gaze with his, unwilling to let him see the ripple of shock his confession rushed through you.

You averted your eyes, hand over your racing heart.

“So you know you’re going to accomplish nothing.”

So then why hire you in the first place?

“Indeed,” he responded, pulling back, his intense violet gaze never leaving yours. Not only did you find Geto a bit insane, you also found him fascinating. He drew you in like a moth to a flame. “The Night Parade of 100 Demons is merely my stage exit.”

“So,” you cleared your throat, prepared to face certain death at your next line. You were surprised you lasted as long as you had here. “All of this time, all of these acts of extremism were a cry for help?”

Geto’s chuckle came soft, almost…sullen. The vibrant purple in his eyes dulled.

“You could put it in that way,” he sighed, brushing his fingers through his hair. “But no. I don’t wish to be saved. Not in the way you think.”

For the moment, you saw past his sharp words—the exhaustion, soullessness evident in his eyes, the flicker of something buried deep inside of him. Years of torment and confusion simmering just beneath the surface. You hadn’t realized how vulnerable he allowed himself to be around you.

He didn’t see you as a threat, after all, did he?

“I see.” Something about this tugged at your heartstrings in a way you didn’t fully fathom, but…your fascination for Geto seemed to have evolved into something beyond it. You became loyal to him over the course of your ‘partnership.’ He showed you sides to him he never showed even to his most devout followers or to his ‘family.’ Not even his twin girls, who you met on several occasions.

Your face went bleak. Had he been searching for a way out of here all of this time—out with a bang, perhaps? Much like you have if you couldn’t find a real purpose to your life anymore? Had that been…all along, had that been why he went to such extremes? Did he want to see reform? Much of his past had been slowly revealed to you these past few months working under his organization as his strategist.

“Something troubling you, my dear?” His question snagged you back to reality, and when you met his eyes, shining with concern, your heart fluttered. His hand brushed against your cheek, warm, sizzling. Your eyes widened as you pulled back. The action caught you off-guard. Even the term of endearment. But to top it all off, it was the look in his eyes that knocked your soul out of your body.

Unshielded, raw.

You’d never seen him like this before. Or maybe you had and blocked it from memory, deeming it as nothing more than curiosity, intrigue.

This relationship was professional. Nothing more, nothing less.

“You’re conflicted,” you realized, voice hoarse, a lump forming in your throat. “Aren’t you?”

The silence that followed your question was deafening. Then, after what felt like an eternity, Geto hummed in response, his gaze softening as he twirled a strand of his hair around his finger. You stiffened at his touch, but didn’t pull away this time.

The bags under his eyes peeked through. His lips curled into that trademark dangerous smile of his. By now you would have thought you had been desensitized to his dramatic antics, but this proved otherwise.

“Perhaps,” he mused, his voice a lower octave, “not all of you monkeys are ignorant fools.”

You blinked, not in surprise by the insult—he openly called humans that countless times before—but by the warmth in his words. Your gaze flitted to the long, slender finger of his twirling your hair, tugging gently as if testing the waters.

You hadn’t even noticed how close he had gotten.

“Suguru?” you inquired, your voice softer than intended, eyes half-lidded as you fixated on the way his fingers fiddled with your hair. His touch gentle, light, delicate.

“Yes, my dear?” he purred, voice like velvet—smooth, dangerous.

That term of endearment again, laden with something heavier.

That finger traced a slow path down your arm, grazing your skin, making you tingle. His hand shifted when he reached your elbow, fingers wrapped around it with a gentleness that bordered on tenderness. Your heart skipped a beat; your mind grappled with trying to understand this sudden shift.

This felt too intimate in business between colleagues, if you dared to even call yourself that.

The softness in his touch was undeniable.

Lonely. He was lonely. The word slipped into your thoughts. You wondered if this was all it was about. Loneliness. Isolation. An emptiness he refused to admit to, seeking solace in someone who was—and this was mere conjecture on your part—much like his unrealized self.

“Is this appropriate?” you questioned, your voice a little strained.

The corner of his mouth curled, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he leaned in closer. So close that his minty breath ghosted over your lips, warm and dangerously inviting.

“Do you wish for it to be?” he countered, his voice barely above a whisper—an invitation if anything else. His thumb began to draw slow, idle patterns on your arm.

You swallowed on a thick wad of nothing. A loaded question, indeed.

But did you actually want this? You hadn’t considered the possibility before.

“Do I have a say on the matter, sir?”

His expression darkened, eyes narrowing into slits as he tightened his grip on your arm.

“Suguru,” he corrected you. He never did want you to call him anything else.

Now you have found out why. Now you have found out why he let you in so easily. It had been right in front of you all along. You just elected to ignore the signs in favor of a decent living.

“Suguru,” you affirmed, his name sounding more intimate for some reason. You continued to ignore his still thumb tracing idle patterns on your arm. “Do I?”

His violet eyes bore into yours, observing, assessing, waiting, like always. His lips hovered dangerously close to yours, almost brushing against each other, a fleeting kiss. More of one if you dared to close the distance.

“Maybe, maybe not,” he answered with a non-committal hum. His hand moved from your elbow to your wrist, gripping tight. “But do you know what you want?”

Your breath hitched.

His grip tightened on your wrist, pulling you closer to his orbit. It wasn’t just about what you had to say. It was about control too. His control.

You could push him away, reassert your own agency, reminding him that what you had was nothing more than a professional relationship.

But then his free hand cupped your face, his touch gentle, tender, making you hesitate.

“Suguru…” you breathed, his name feeling more intimate on your lips than before. The distance between you closed even further, and you found yourself unable to resist the magnetic pull.

“Tell me what you want, my dear.”

That wasn’t fair! That absolutely wasn’t fair. He knew it wasn’t. It didn’t stop the tidal wave of emotions washing over you. The walls you worked so hard to build around your heart and mind began to tumble down.

You should know better.

“I—!” The words caught in your throat as you caught the weight of his gaze. Before you could properly answer, the final sliver of distance between you closed as Geto leaned further in.

His lips met yours in a frantic rhythm. Desperate, yet measured—a push and pull of fervor and restraint. His tongue slid past your parted lips, coaxing a soft sigh from deep within your throat. You allowed yourself to melt into the moment, not caring to resist the magnetic pull between you.

The transition from the temple’s meeting room to his bedroom went by in a blur. You weren’t sure how or when you’d been led here, but the warmth of his arms around your waist kept you grounded in the present. His room at the temple’s top floor seemed worlds away, that faint scent of sandalwood and smoke lingering in the air. You allowed yourself to indulge in this. You never allowed yourself such luxuries before, believing you to be above them, but truthfully, they weren’t. You desired connection just as much as anyone else—you just threw yourself into work to ignore the fact that you did.

Was that yet another reason he found comfort in you?

Soon, you found yourself lying on his bed, the cool silk sheets beneath you a start contrast to the heat building up in your core. He trailed open-mouth kisses down your jawline and along the curve of your neck. Each kiss awakened something in you—eliciting a sharp breath out of your lips as his teeth grazed your skin.

Your lips met his again, slower this time, more languid as his hands freely explored your body. The pads of his fingers traced the outline of your hips, feathery light and teasing, before they settled at the waistband of your skirt. He tugged it down in a smooth motion, the fabric sliding easily down your legs.

His calloused hands felt rough yet reverent against your bare skin. They rested on your thighs, spreading them apart with effortless authority. Your breath hitched, the anticipation coiling tightly in your body. You squeezed your eyes shut as his breath ghosted over the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

His lips followed the same path as his hands, brushing feathery light kisses up your thighs—closer and closer. Another breathy gasp escaped you when his teeth caught the delicate fabric of your panties, ripping it through the middle.

“Suguru!” you shrieked, your voice breaking, more from shock. Instinctively your hands flew to your mouth, muffling the embarrassed cry as heat rushed to your cheeks.

He glanced up at you with a smirk, dark violet eyes gleaming with amusement.

“What is it?” he purred, feigning ignorance but he knew exactly the effect that had on you, as his tongue licked a line between your slick folds.

Another broken whimper escaped your throat, the sensation so intense it had you squirming beneath him. Your hips instinctively shifting closer to his face, chasing the friction. Every inch of your body awakened—hyper-aware of each flick of his tongue, each graze of his teeth or lips.

“Mean,” you chided between gasping breaths, but it was all you could muster.

He chuckled, the sound vibrating through your core.

“I haven’t been close to mean yet, my dear.”

Without another warning, his tongue returned to lapping at your folds, twirling around your little nub full of nerves. Every flick and swirl against your swollen nub made you keen. You gripped the sheets tighter, knuckles whitening as you arched into him, back bowing. It was unbearable. Now you were completely at his mercy—helpless yet utterly complacent.

Instinctively, your hips pressed against him, chasing after that friction you craved; every nerve ending singing like a choir with need. You lost yourself in him, in the moment, chasing your release until finally, you found it. The crescendo hit you like a tidal wave, knocking the wind out of your body as your orgasm washed over you. You were left trembling and panting, catching your breath as you came down from the high.

“You look beautiful when you let go,” Suguru murmured, his voice reverent, as he lifted his head to watch you.

Something caught in your throat at that statement. He said it like it was the truth. Could you allow yourself to believe it? Could you believe anything he ever said, when you never knew what his motives were even now? Months working for him? A part of you to believe it, craved the affirmation, yet those shadows of doubt lingered. Could someone like you let yourself fall for his sweet nothings? You weren’t immune to the lies people told in moments like this, when you desired intimacy and connectedness as much as anyone else.

Fulfilling intimacy.

The sound of him rummaging around ripped you out of your thoughts, yanking you back to the present. His words were no longer tender, but matter-of-fact, as if what came next was inevitable.

“However,” he began, his voice a little more stern now. “you need a bit more preparation before you could take my size.”

Your mouth dried at the prospect. He said it so casually.

“S-Suguru?” your voice quivered, barely a whisper.

More fumbling, the distinct sound of him searching through the drawer beside the bed. Your heart pounded erratically. Then he pulled out the bottle of lube, setting it aside for a moment.

Ah. Proper lubricant. How considerate.

“Before that,” he went on, his voice a low purr, as if reading your thoughts. “How about one more before the main event?”

You barely had the time to process his words before his tongue was on you again, finding your clit. The tip of it circled around, teasing, making you gasp sharply as your hips bucked into his tongue involuntarily. You couldn’t stop yourself from grinding into his mouth, seeking that release once more.

“That’s it,” Suguru whispered between flicks of his tongue. “Get your release.”

And you did, your body trembling as another orgasm washed over your body. Everything almost too much to bear as your walls clenched around nothing, aching for more. You were panting now, legs quivering, but he was far from finished wth you.

You watched through half-lidded eyes as he squirted a liberal amount of lube onto his hand, the lewd squelching of its slick overwhelming you. His hands moved with purpose, massaging the cool liquid into your already sensitive cunt. The tip of his finger teased your entrance, allowing it to catch inside for a moment before retreating.

“Don’t be mean,” you pouted.

“I’ve been nothing of the sort,” he teased bac, his tone smug as he inserted a lubed finger into you. More lewd squelching making you flush. “Far from it.”

He moved inside you, at first slow, delicate, stretching you in the best ways possible with just that single digit. Another finger soon joined the first, the stretch almost too much, with that satisfying burn, but not quite. He was careful, gentle, but there was a hunger in his eyes. His pace gradually increased overtime, his fingers working to coax yet another orgasm from you for the sake of it.

The sensation was both too much and not enough. The heat pooling in your legs, your body responding to his every moment as though you were made for him. Before you knew it, you were coming again, your body trembling quietly as you cried out.

Suguru reluctantly withdrew his fingers, as if savoring the way your body clenched around them one last time. He wiped his hand on the sheets before standing, reaching for his belt and in one motion, disrobed.

When he revealed himself to you, your eyes widened and you gulped. He truly hadn’t exaggerated.

His cock stood erect, thick and heavy. Beads of pre already leaked out of his tip. Your breath hitched in your throat. He prepared you for this, made sure you were stretched and ready to take him, and yet, the prospect of it still made your gut twist.

“Is that thing going to fit?” The words slipped out of your mouth before you could catch them, your voice wavering. Suguru’s response was a deep, rich laugh that seemed to echo through the room, full of amusement.

“You’ll be fine,” he assured you, his tone teasing. As if to prove his point, he dipped the tip of his cock between your slick folds, rubbing it lightly against your entrance. The contact elicited a breathy whine from your lips that you couldn’t hold back.

“You aren’t going to wrap it?” you inquired, the incredulity in your tone impossible to miss. Despite the heat pooling in your lower abdomen, a surprising sliver of logic remained, true to your nature.

“Like a present?” Suguru chuckled again with a quirked eyebrow, shaking his head. “Do you know the pleasant thing about utilizing cursed energy?”

He clearly enjoyed your confusion. His eyes twinkled with mischief, a wicked smile playing at the corners of his lips.

“Not necessarily,” you admitted, “I’m no sorcerer. Even the basics are lost on me.”

He hummed in thought, his hand gliding over your thigh, fingers grazing over your skin, making it impossible to focus on anything else but the heat pooling between your legs.

“Let’s just say there are certain…perks to it.”

Huh? Perks? Did he mean…preventing pregnancy? Even with unprotected sex? At this point, you were willing to believe just about anything if it meant trusting him. And naively, a part of you did. You became fully lost in him.

Still, Suguru must have sensed your doubts. With a sigh that bordered on indulgent, he reached into the side drawer again and pulled out a condom.

“But if it’ll give you some peace of mind,” he went on with a smile as he tore the package open with his teeth and began to slide the condom onto his impressive length. “Then I will.”

He cared about making sure you felt safe…as long as it heighted the pleasure.

Once he wrapped himself, he guided the tip of his cock to your entrance. Your breath hitched again. He pushed himself in, and you gasped, your hands clutching the sheets tighter. Hist hick cock stretching you overwhelmed you—making your head spin.

“Relax,” he murmured. He inched more of his size into, inch by inch a gradual stretch that rubbed your walls in a delicious way. The friction of it unbearable. His dark eyes drank in every gasp and moan that slipped from your lips as he filled you up.

Soon, he was buried completely inside of you, his body flush against yours. His fullness inside of you was a sweet ache. He stilled for a moment, allowing you time to adjust, his hand trailing up your body until his fingers found the crook of your neck, brushing against your pulse point.

Pressing a soft kiss to your neck, he whispered, “You feel amazing.”

He moved. Slow at first, deliberate. He wanted you to feel every inch as he pulled out almost entirely only to piston himself back inside. He set a steady rhythm, the intensity of it gradual. Each thrust of his became deeper, purposeful, rubbing against your walls just right.

He groaned, whispering an endless slew of sweet nothings. Each word punctuated by the deep, rolling thrust of his hips. He angled himself a bit; the shift of his position just right.

The heat began to build inside of you again, coiling tight in your core, threatening to snap at any given moment. Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, knocking his nose between your breasts as you lost yourself in him, all of him. Inside of you, around you, filling you completely.

“Suguru…” His name fell from your lips in a broken moan, and that sent him over a dangerous edge. He thrust into you harder, sharper, deeper, his rhythm in perfect sync with your needs. Both of you were close, teetering on the edge together.

Finally, it crashed over the two of you.

Your orgasm washed over you, body trembling violently as you clenched around him. He followed close behind you, his thrusts growing erratic as he plunged himself inside you one last time, groaning your name as he found his own release.

For a moment, neither of you spoke nor moved. Both of you still breathing hard, still tangled in each other. The heady scent of sweat and sex filled the room. Slowly, Suguru pulled out with a satisfied sigh, his body still tented over yours as he leaned in to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I told you you’d be fine” he murmured, tip of his finger brushing along your cheek.

As the heat and passion of the moment faded, Suguru shifted to lay next to you and pulled you into a warm embrace.

You glanced up at him through your eyelashes. For a few more moments, neither of you said anything. The usual dullness in his eyes from exhaustion became a softer expression.

Here, he could just be Suguru Geto. Not a sorcerer, not a criminal. Just Suguru Geto.

A tired smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice a quiet murmur.

You nodded, your own lips curving up in response.

“More than okay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

With a hum, Suguru snuggled you closer and pressed kisses into the nape of your neck.

For now, the raging world outside could wait, just for a bit longer. You allowed yourself to embrace the silence, your breaths and heartbeats syncing together, closing your eyes and drifting to blissful sleep.

[destinygoldenstar]

Disventure Camp Season 1 But The Wheel Decides Their Fate

So I did this awhile back with Total Drama as a little bit of fun content. But I decided I could expand on it.

We're doing a wheel of fate with the Disventure Camp Season 1 Cast.

If you don't know what this is, I'll explain it:

Basically, you're making a 'My Way' of the Total Drama Elimination Order (Disventure Camp in this case). BUT you spin a wheel for EVERY placement.

Every time a vote off is made. Every twist involving team shakeups. Which Team loses. Etc. You can get some pretty WILD results from these.

And I want to come up with scenarios where I TRY to explain why these eliminations happened.

EMPHASIS ON 'TRY'.

So let's get into it:

PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE WHEEL OF FATE GODS, ODDNATIONS, WHOEVER IS IN CHARGE, HEAR MY VOICE: DO NOT LET GRETT GABBY OR JAKE BE THE FIRST BOOT OF THIS.

I will be VERY upset.

I know they all merged in canon. I don't care.

Team Swap

So, in the first episode, there was a fakeout elimination where both teams had to vote someone off.

The twist was that the two would instead switch teams.

So this first spin is for who is swapping teams.

So here's the Teal Team wheel.

In the original, Fiore was ORIGINALLY on Teal Team before she got voted to swap. So that's why she's here.

I know this is just a team swap and we're not losing anyone. I'm still nervous.

I don't want it to be Jake or Tom. I don't wanna split them up. :(

(I DO NOT SHIP THEM)

I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

Please don't be Jake or Tom. Please don't be Jake or Tom. Please please please 🙏

OH IT'S MIRIAM

Awww...

That's a sad one. But AU, so I guess the surrogate grandma ain't happening. Unless they merge this.

So this is an easier one to explain WHY they'd vote her off.

In the original, they were discussing it being between the old lady or the kid. They ended up picking the kid.

So in this AU they just simply decide "The kid is better because the kid has more energy compared to an old lady with back problems."

They don't KNOW Miriam at this point. Plus in the beginning of the season Miriam is this cranky old lady who is very hostile. So I can imagine that steps on their toes.

As compared to Fiore, who has this ACT that she's a sweet little girl.

That also means Fiore's sabotaging THIS team instead of the Purple Team since she didn't swap. That's gonna be interesting.

And here's the Purple Team wheel.

In the original it was Gabby. So we'll see if it's the same this time. Probably not.

WILL

REALLY?

Okay, so is Reality TV's Stupidest Alliance not a thing?

That's the only explanation.

At least Gabby and Ellie are together this time.

So to TRY and explain this one:

Ellie would want to protect Gabby, a close friend she's quickly bonded with. People are iffy about her because of her erratic nature. So she, very quickly, gets associated with Alec to get out Will.

They are convinced Will is the better one to go because he is a BAD survivalist. Scared of literally everything. Always crying about the smallest things. So they decide "You know what? This guy is gonna drag the team down."

And it works THIS TIME because Ashley Lilly Nick and Will DON'T form their alliance. It just doesn't cross their mind.

So Miriam and Will are our two that swap teams.

Episode 2 Elimination

Okay, so this wheel is for WHICH TEAM LOSES THE CHALLENGE.

WELP, WE'VE REACHED A VARIANCE.

OH WAIT CAUSE THEY GOT WILL ON THEIR TEAM NOW.

That explains it.

So Teal Team is going to Elimination. I'm nervous.

OH AND I REALIZED FIORE NEVER SWAPPED SO SHE AND WILL ARE STILL TOGETHER XD

Crazy how that works.

I WONDER HOW THEY LOST.

Alright. Who's our first boot?

WHAT?! TOM?!

GOSH DARN IT

WHY TOM?! THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

WITH WILL AND FIORE'S FIASCO, WHY TOM?!?! HUH?!?!?!?!

Welp. I guess there is ZERO Yaoi in this AU. Because they don't even get a chance to talk.

I'm sad :(

Explanation:

So this is what I came up with.

Tom is a Spy working undercover to figure out the crimes of the hosts. Where it is revealed they are killing wildlife.

He is a character that ISN'T here to win the million dollars.

So maybe he decides "If I stay a contestant on the show, I could get caught, and it would be a better move for me to go undercover off camera instead."

So while the Will and Fiore thing STILL HAPPENS, where Fiore bitch slaps him for being paranoid and frames Will as this monstrous figure, IT IS A DRAMA THING on this team as to WHO IS BEING HONEST.

While the team is DIVIDED and debating on who to side with, THEY DON'T EVEN GET TO VOTE.

Because Tom, MYSTEROUSLY, NEVER SHOWED UP.

He silently slipped away from the game to go hide behind the cameras. So the hosts decide to call this a 'Quit', and Tribal Council is cancelled.

The debate on who to side with is hung over the team's heads and causes a divide.

Jake is wondering where the guy he was crushing on went.

Fiore can also win Grett over. Because Alec is NOT on the same team as her this time, this makes Grett Fiore's other option for an alliance. And I can see Grett taking Fiore in, but only as an ally. I can see Grett not wanting to be a 'big sister' figure because of her poor relationship with her family favoring her brother.

Meanwhile Will is outcasted because no one believes him.

SO THAT'S HOW TOM BEING FIRST BOOT WORKS.

I can imagine the spy subplot turns into a different subplot of Tom STILL being undercover to find out the crime. BUT NOT IN THE GAME.

SO while he's out of the game, he's not out of the story.

So MAYBE Tom and Jake still have their subplot???

It's just Romeo & Juliet I guess. Or Gabby & Ellie in the barrier between them. We'll see depending on where Jake places.

Episode 3 Elimination

Okay, that's a pretty sad first elimination. Not happy about that.

It's the same as canon. Of course.

Alright. Let's see who it is...

And it's the same as canon. Cool. That's easy.

OH WAIT NO BECAUSE TOM ISN'T HERE TO FLIP.

So how does this work???

Explanation:

So in canon, the boys on Teal Team form a guys alliance. But Tom flips on them due to Drew writing in his notebook confessions of seeing Tom's whereabouts as a spy.

But Tom ain't here to flip no more. So why would Drew be gone?

WELL, I would say Dan still tries to ally with Drew and Jake and form his guys alliance. BUT NOT WITH WILL.

Because of what happened last episode, no one trusts Will. And I can see a situation where they plan to vote him because he cost them the challenge. The Phobia Factor challenge.

So Will is the thrown vote.

BUT just because Tom left doesn't mean Drew didn't still see Tom's whereabouts. So he still writes in that notebook.

The notebook that Grett steals.

So because Grett's alliance is just Fiore. A two person alliance over four boys, she persuades someone to flip.

And I think she goes to JAKE.

Jake is characterized to be a gullible moron. So that trait shines with this blackmail.

Why would Jake flip for that notebook when it's not even his secrets?

Well because Tom is undercover and out of the game, he doesn't need to lie to Jake.

So my theory is that Jake finds Tom sneaking around and asks questions, and Tom, OOC but whatever, tells Jake that he is a spy undercover trying to solve the host's crimes.

So BECAUSE this is revealed to Jake much sooner, Jake doesn't flip out and get upset. Instead he's appreciative of the honesty.

But while Tom may still be distant with Jake due to his work, Jake is the only one who knows that Tom is in hiding, so he has to ensure he's not trying anything to expose him.

Which Jake wouldn't. At least not on purpose.

And because Jake is infatuated with the spy, he wants to do good for him, so when Grett exposes the notebook, Jake decides to flip and vote out Drew TO PROTECT TOM.

And that is why Drew is gone with a 1-2-3 vote.

But with Drew gone, there's no one else to blame the flip on. Dan would KNOW Jake flipped. Cause Dan knows he himself didn't do it.

So does that mean Jake is siding with Fiore & Grett on the villain's side because of this?????

Jake with the Ellie situation.

Episode 4 Elimination

Purple. Same as canon.

We got our first Purple Team loss.

Jake STILL busted Nick's balls.

Okay. Let's see who gets the boot here...

NO ELLIE.

NO I DIDN'T WANT HER TO BE AN EARLY BOOT. THIS WAS GONNA BE HER REDEMPTION.

I don't like that one. No sir. I do not like that.

Well Gabby's DEVASTATED cause Ellie was the only one who liked her :(

Explanation:

So this is a bit of a corner because I went with the story that Reality TV's Stupidest Alliance didn't form.

Because Fiore isn't here, their stuff DOESN'T get burned.

So there's no stopping the alliance from forming NOW. With Ashley Lilly and Nick.

Miriam is still her hostile self because her and Jake aren't on the same team so there's no one for her to empathize with.

(Also means she won't be there to witness Jake's phone call about his grandma)

Ellie is good friends with Gabby. Of course she is why wouldn't she be? But Alec is kinda just tagging along asocially. He and Ellie may still be friends, but as we know, Alec is a filthy backstabber.

So because there's no majority alliance OFF THE BAT, Alec and Ellie aren't aware they're outcasts, they're not aware an alliance forms this episode, and Miriam you better believe is neutral.

So when the opening presents itself and Alec discovers the majority alliance is formed, he decides to, on purpose, fail the challenge, (We could say Jake busts Alec's balls instead of Nick's), so he is NOT seen as a threat compared to Ellie.

And the alliance chooses Ellie instead of Gabby because as 'annoying' as Gabby is, she is easier to persuade... idk I'm really trying here guys.

So then you reach a blindside of 2-2-3 in voting, and Ellie gets the boot. Played like a fiddle.

Gabby's upset. Of course.

Sorry Ellie. I really wanted you to go further and have a redemption. But unfortunately it wasn't in the stars.

Episode 5 Elimination

So this is the DOUBLE Elimination.

So whichever team loses, THEY LOSE TWO PEOPLE.

I'm scared. I'm SO SCARED.

Let's see which team it is...

IT'S PURPLE.

PURPLE IS LOSING TWO PEOPLE.

Just like in canon...

So first thing, I am gonna spin for who the Red Marker user is.

In canon, the winning team gets a representative to use the Red Marker, and THEY decide who the second elimination in the Tribal Council is.

So I'm gonna spin for that...

Will?

Okay that makes the LEAST sense. But you know what? Maybe he wants redemption.

Now for the eliminations.

This is for the character that's VOTED by the team...

It's Alec.

Yeah that makes sense. Bad game move previously.

And this is for the Red Marker Elimination that Will decides on...

Miriam.

Ouch.

Explanation:

So how does Purple Team lose when they have Miriam as a cook?

Well, the only explanation I can give is Gabby is her cooking partner, and that goes as well as you'd expect. I can also imagine Miriam constantly snapping at her during cooking.

Because in THIS version, Miriam is NOT there to witness Jake's phonecall. So there's nothing for her to sympathize with. So she's still the bitter old lady.

The Lilly Ashley and Nick alliance realize that Alec is playing them, because they AREN'T stupid this time. So they vote off Alec as quickly as they possibly can before he can scheme further.

As for Will voting Miriam? My only explanation to that is that because he's outcasted on his own team, he wants to redeem himself and show he can do something right.

I can also see since he and Ashley become a thing that he associates with her to not vote off anyone in her alliance.

So Will and Ashley have the Gabby & Ellie plotline here.

Episode 6 Fakeout Elimination (Team Swap)

Episode 6 is an individual immunity round and BOTH TEAMS go to elimination.

It's a fakeout. So whoever gets voted off here SWAPS TEAMS.

Let's start with Teal Team and see who goes here...

FIORE?!?!?

Oh my god. I thought she was pulling the strings.

I guess Jake flipped AGAIN.

Now for the Purple Team...

Ashley. Of course.

That sure doesn't make sense.

Explanation:

So because of Episode 3, Jake has flipped and is now given no choice but to side with Fiore and Grett, even if he isn't as nasty as they are. (Ellie Arc)

But because of his association, he's the first to realize Fiore ISN'T actually a sweet innocent child and is a psychopath.

Because of these three being together, they THINK they're safe. Dan and Will surely wouldn't work together. Right?

RIGHT?!

Except maybe Dan realizes Will ISN'T actually a monster. And they decide that if they don't ally NOW, one of them is gone.

Then there's Jake's side of things and what he's hiding. Which DOESN'T get exposed on the Internet this time because Tom isn't in the game and there's nothing to blow up about. WHICH MEANS TOM DOESN'T GET FIRED.

But Jake isn't ENTIRELY stupid. So once he realizes Grett and Fiore ARE a danger and CAN get Tom exposed if they find out, Jake decides to turn on them when he has the chance.

He goes Fiore, because let's say Grett gets the immunity. "They see Grett as more of a threat than a child, so they're not gonna vote off the child."

Fiore is 'gone'. Grett is in a corner. Jake is the flip vote.

As for Ashley, there's only one explanation I can think of.

The Immunity Idol.

"Hello darkness my old friend..."

In the canon, Gabby found the immunity idol. Let's say she finds it here too. She's the OBVIOUS outcast of her team. So OBVIOUSLY they'd vote to get rid of her.

So Gabby plays her idol here and nullifies three votes against her. And a single vote against Ashley is enough.

Why Ashley? She's a big physical threat.

So Fiore and Ashley swap teams.

And this is Ellie & Gabby with Ashley & Will, I just realized... straight to a T.

Episode 7 Elimination

One more Team Elimination...

Purple. That's great.

Alright. Who is it?

Yeah. That's the one that makes the most sense.

Explanation:

So this one is pretty easy. Lilly and Nick are allies, and Fiore is the 'sweet innocent child'.

So Fiore simply plays that card and they believe it.

One sabotage later and Gabby is an unfortunate goner.

I'm so sorry girliepop.

Merge

So our Merge Cast for this Wheel Of Fate is Ashley, Nick, Lilly, Will, Jake, Grett, Dan, & Fiore

Episode 8 Elimination

So let's see who our first Merge Boot is...

Damn. NO JAKE.

I guess his flipping status comes to an end.

Explanation:

Because of Fiore and Grett's alliance, Dan siding with Will, and Will liking Ashley who has an alliance, THIS IS UNAMINOUS 7-1

It's not that hard to see.

Jake leaves, and I GUESS he and Tom aren't a thing in this AU.

So sad.

But Jake still gets exposed as gay. So... maybe I'll do this again for Season 3 and use this wheel of fate's logic for that.

Episode 9 Elimination

The Zombie Apocalypse Episode.

Let's see...

Oh geez, how am I gonna explain this one?

Explanation:

So this is the challenge where the campers are trapped in a VR Simulation of the Zombie Apocalypse where the last one alive wins immunity.

Ashley I feel would be a strong survivalist in this setting and be deemed a threat, so Fiore and Grett team up to get rid of her.

Yes I suppose Grett is the Alec of this AU.

But Ashley has a very strong alliance. Why does it break?

Well, Fiore is still the innocent kid in everyone's eyes.

Now you may be thinking, "Wait, but Dan and Will voted her in Episode 6, they don't know?" I said they voted her because Grett wasn't an option. That DOESN'T mean Fiore got caught in her scheme.

So Fiore tells the others some lies about Ashley being this horrible person. I can see Lilly and Will NOT falling for it and this starts Lilly's suspicions of Fiore's true nature. But Nick and Dan do, and so that gets the majority to vote off Ashley.

A threat is out of the game.

Episode 10 Elimination

Oh boy. This one...

And Will is gone.

Explanation:

So going back to Fiore's scheme working for Dan and Nick, they don't understand why Will and Lilly would side with Ashley.

And no matter how much they beg to hear them out, they don't take it and vote off Will.

Simple. Easy.

Episode 11 Elimination

NO GRETT YOU WERE THE LAST ONE I WAS ROUTING FOR

AND WHY IS DAN STILL HERE?!?! WE ONLY HAVE LOW TIER CHARACTERS LEFT, I HATE THIS.

(Except Fiore. But 'Villain', so you know what I mean)

Explanation:

So in desperation to save herself, Lilly has to associate with Dan and Nick to get them to come to their senses and get them back on her side. It is a trust challenge after all.

She is successfully able to do so and open their eyes on Fiore's true nature, which finally gets exposed.

But they vote off Grett in the end because Fiore is, well, a kid, and thus less of a physical threat than Grett. So they vote her off.

I guess in this AU instead of a father/daughter relationship, it's a surrogate sister relationship. I can see an arc for Grett actually caring about Fiore and finding a new family with her. One that actually cares for her. And it STAYS that way, because there's no betrayal here.

So that's at least interesting.

Semi Final Elimination

Semi Finals. And I am hating this Final Four.

Let's see who doesn't make the finale...

Well that is the easiest and most boring outcome possible.

Explanation:

This is so simple it makes my head hurt. Fiore is the villain. And a weak force on her own. So no matter who was paired with, the others would support the partner instead of Fiore, because she's a terrible person.

It is SO BORING.

Finalists:

And so our finalists are Dan, Nick, & Lilly.

I do not like this Final Three. I'm gonna be honest.

I don't care for any of these three characters. So this was such a bad outcome.

Anyway, nothing needs to be explained as it's a race, so I'm gonna roll the winner and that will be it.

Lilly wins.

I guess she's the best of these three. So that's cool.

Still don't like it though cause she is boring to me.

Honestly, I prefer the canon.

The canon just had such interesting characters to merge and several twists and turns that kept things interesting.

Yeah, all the NICE people made it to the end in this Wheel Of Fate. But this is Total DRAMA.

You may hate it, but all the nice people making it to the end and all the problematic people leaving early MAKES THE GAME BORING.

That's why we have villains.

I PERSONALLY prefer a Merge Cast of heavily flawed messy people over a Merge Cast of boring people. THAT'S MY OPINION.

If you want, I can do this again when I react to Season 2 and we can apply this wheel of fate's logic to that.

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

DUMBASS DUO SHOWDOWN ROUND 2 BATTLE 10

Kaz & Oliver (mighty med) vs Heath Burns & Hoodude Voodoo (monster high)

btw please check out the propaganda before voting!

PROPAGANDA

Kaz & Oliver

They get themselves in stupid scenarios. They accidentally got a job as doctors in a super hero hospital.

THEY STUMBLE THEIR WAY TO PROFESSIONAL SUPER DOCTORDOM

it all starts because Kaz mocks Oliver for being a simp, which accidentally causes a domino effect which ends up with a plastic UFO falling on them requiring a trip to the ER, while in the waiting room they notice a guy who looks awfully similar to a superhero enter a supply closet. They do a puzzle and somehow enter a superhero hospital where they use their nerdiness to solve everything. AND THAT IS THE FIRST EPISODE

Heath Burns & Hoodude Voodoo

Listen, Heath isn't the brightest. He revealed everyones identity as a monster while they infilterated a normie (human) party because he ate spicy chips, one time he had a cold so bad someone had to freeze him because he kept sneezing out fire, he had his friends go on a trip THROUGHOUT EUROPE to get back Clawdeen's notebook, put himself and his friends in a show called "Die Trying" and they almost died, several times. His braincells are probably burned up. AND WHO IS HIS FRIEND?! A FUCKING VOODOO DOLL! THAT WAS CREATED BY THE DAUGHTER OF VIKTOR FRANKENSTEIN BECAUSE SHE WANTED A BF. Somehow the biggest causes of accidents at monster high befriended a guy who is just the misfortune doll. Hoodude is somehow also not the brightest. He sees a cat that could rip him in half and goes "OOH KITTY!" When Hoodude grabbed Heath's notebook he got worried. He makes up with being accident prone by being sweet and kind. Heath isn't a voodoo doll, he is just a guy who could probably just burn down the school if he messed up in mad science class once.

note i didn't want to include heath, clawd, and manny because i hate gen 1 manny as a jackson fan, yes i know heath can be a bully but most of the time he isn't a evil but just, stupid and a pain magnet

[vienna-salvatori]

It's been 10 years since 1x07- The Hub first broadcast (Nov 12 2013)

So, in honour of an episode that's been playing on repeat in my head for a decade...

Here's my theory on what's actually going on with Victoria Hand, and why she's actually a paranoid-but-clever strategist, not as petty and incompetent as she comes across as.

Ah, series 1. Those were the days. The HYDRA reveal hadn't happened yet. Everyone was happy! They trusted each other, mostly! Sure, Skye's allegiances were questionable, but they got over that eventually. May might've had that whole "secret line to Fury" thing, but they sorted that too. Coulson might've had his head messed with, but it's not like that caused serious problems with his judgement until series 2.

... that we know of.

Here's a couple facts: 1) The team are running worldwide missions. Despite this, in one season, they end up passing through The Hub on three separate occasions (The Hub, The Magical Place (I think), and Turn, Turn, Turn/the finale arc.) It's clearly a bit of a, well, hub, for SHIELD activity, and sees a lot of people coming in and out. 2) It's unclear exactly how long Hand has been in charge of the Hub, but we know from s7 that she's been in SHIELD a while. There's nothing in series 1 to suggest that her command of The Hub is a recent promotion. Coulson, meanwhile, was recruited by Fury just out of high school. He's been in the field for decades by this point.

and-

3) When Coulson first meets Victoria Hand in 1x07, he claims to know her only by reputation.

Yeah, no.

I think it's highly unlikely that he's never crossed paths with Victoria Hand before. They might not know each other well- I, personally, think it's best if they do, but YMMV- but I cannot envision a scenario where the two haven't run operations together before.

My assumption, then: they did know each other. Coulson's had his head messed with, though, and he's forgotten all about it.

From Hand's perspective: that dude she really doesn't like has just shown up. He was supposed to be dead, but whatever, they work for SHIELD, shit happens sometimes. That said, he's got the strangest team she's ever seen- Melinda May back in the field, two sci-tech kids who didn't even pass their field exams, John Garrett's antisocial protege, and an enemy agent. (We, the audience, know that Skye is clear, but Hand has no reason to think anything but the worst of her.) He's also pretending that this is the first time they've ever met, for some reason.

... Maybe it's a weird prank.

She decides not to engage with it, because she has a lot of very important work to do and she doesn't really want to deal with any of That Bullshit. Except, Coulson's acting really differently to how he did before- I don't think it's very controversial to say that pre-Avengers Coulson and AoS!Coulson are two very different people. Melinda May- who she knows is one of his closest friends- is... not calling it out, for some reason. Also, he does have a history of recruiting wildcard agents, but usually he follows protocol once they're in. This random kid he found in a van is just wandering around poking her head into things, and Coulson isn't stopping her even though that is against the system. Hand might not like Coulson, but she knows that he does his paperwork and follows the rules. He'll bend them completely out of shape, but he won't break them outright without very good reason. Or at least, he used to do that.

The whole situation is alarming on so many levels. So... she decides to test him- the stupidest, most obvious test that Phil Coulson- who has always been pedantic about the safety of his people- will catch instantly.

She'll "forget" to file the extraction plan.

He'll spot it, of course. He'll spot it instantly, and she'll roll her eyes and file the paperwork she's already filled out. She'll say that this is why they have procedures and it's important to follow them, not just turn up in someone's airspace with a team that makes no sense and ignore all rules and protocol.

Except, Phil Coulson does not notice. It takes his team members breaking protocol in front of of all of them for him to spot a problem in the mission paperwork she physically placed into his hands.

And that? That is not Phil Coulson. She might not like Phil Coulson, but she does know him, and he always looks out for his agents. That's not Coulson, and May is playing along with the imposter for some reason, even when she knows him even better than Hand does.

In the end, she just lets it all play out, because this is so far off what she expected she honestly wants to know how far it reaches.

If she tries to chase up Coulson's file afterwards, she'll hit the (canonically very weird) firewalls and restrictions around TAHITI protocol. If she tries to report the oddities to Fury or Hill, they'll brush her off- again, TAHITI protocol. There's something wrong with that dude and no one in her agency is taking her seriously.

So. Once the HYDRA reveal happens, and she starts looking for moles? Well, there's one really obvious place where standard SHIELD protocol is failing. The issue stretches to some pretty high levels, too- this isn't just baby-agent incompetence. That probably means Coulson's HYDRA. May must be too, if she's covering for him. Skye is, still, basically an enemy agent, Hand won't lose sleep over her. I have... thoughts... about the fact that Hand outright tries to shoot John Garrett out of the sky despite, or because of, their working history, but she's definitely suspicious of him, too. Ward is his agent and likely to follow his lead- when the Twist happens, Ward plays up how betrayed he is, and Hand buys it without question, which makes me think she did know they were pretty close. Simmons is already in the Hub, she can clear her separately.

Really, the only actual loss if she was to take that plane down would be Fitz.

Hand brings down the plane because she has legitimate reason to believe Coulson is an enemy agent, and so is the rest of his team. When she sends her people to storm the BUS, she wants Coulson alive, because he's probably the highest-ranking HYDRA member she can actually get her hands on. She wants some answers, damnit. The rest are acceptable losses if it comes to that.

[heyheyitsstillgay]

Prompt 2: Stupidest Reveal Scenario for @phandomphightclub

"I'm sorry? What!?"

His mother sighed, removing her goggles from her face so that she could rub the tiredness from her eyes.

"You heard me the first time Danny, dear." She lowered the magazine, 'Ghosts Monthly' onto the table and turned it so her son could read the article for himself.

Jack's fixed frown began to fade as he watched the kid's reaction, he had always hoped his kids would take an interest in ghost hunting! Jazz always seemed the obvious one as she had her mother's intelligence, but maybe Danny could show some promise given how interested he was suddenly being.

"This is garbage!" Danny spluttered, shoving the magazine away, like it was a slice of toast he couldn't bare to be near.

"Exactly Danno!" Jack banged his fist onto the kitchen table in enthusiasm. "The base idea alone is ridiculous!", he began to hunch into himself again "... and if it's true then all your mother and I's work has been virtually pointless."

"Now, now Jack," Maddie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder "we're scientists, if the evidence really is genuine then we have to accept it and go from there."

"Wait." Danny interrupted, wide eyed, "You can't seriously be considering this as fact, right mom? You guys are the world's leading ghost experts, you can't just.. accept something like this and move on. It's wrong! If you asked anyone in this town if this article was true, they'd laugh in your face."

"People used to think the world was flat sweetie, scientists are constantly forming new theories and ideas, especially in a field as new as ectobiology."

"But it's not true! Besides the experiment conducted assumes that lab rats treated badly enough would form ghosts, let alone in the nearest ectoplasmic area! Didn't you guys have that interconnected dimensional theory thing about spacial relationships between our worlds? If those rats even did form ghosts then they could have formed anywhere? Right?" Danny was pleading at this point.

Maddie sighed again, "Well, the old theory suggested that ghosts form when someone's death is so powerful that it weakens the barriers between the Earth and the Ghost Zone, to the point where the spirit could escape through, ectoplasm would be drawn to it and the energy from the death would form a shadow of the person, a ghost. They conducted this experiment right next to an open portal, the link between dimensions was already strong, a ghost should have formed but it didn't." She turned the article back around to her son and pointed to an early paragraph, speaking softly. "You also seem to be forgetting that they have evidence that ghosts can also be made via reproduction," Danny's cheeks turned pink and his fingers twitched. Maddie continued "if that's the case for all ghosts, which is now proving likely, then they are just-"

"Don't say it." Voice cracking, Danny lowered his head, "It's wrong, it's all wrong, they call each other ghosts for crying out loud why doesn't someone just ask one of them?"

Jack laughed, "Good one, Danny boy!" his smile faded fast though, "Even with this revelation, I doubt they're sentient enough for something like that."

Danny frowned, "I will seriously, genuinely prove to you that this is incorrect and that the people behind it are complete and total morons, out of spite."

"How could you prove something like that?" His mother asked, "The Ghost Zone is infinite, how can you capture evidence of a ghost forming from the death of a living creature?"

"I already have, actually," he stood from his chair "you see, ectoplasm surrounded me while I was dying," he moved around to their side of the table, "a ghost core formed within me from that energy," he made determined eye-contact with both of his parents as a ring of light sparked from around his waist.

"And I would sooner perish again than be accused of being part monster from another dimension instead of part ghost."

He snatches the magazine from the table, his mother is staring at him with wide eyes, she's shaking. His father is already spluttering out a billion and one questions. They'll have to wait. Without warning, Danny turns intangible and flies off through the ceiling.

"Butch Hartman." The ghost boy rolls the name around his tongue. The author of the article claiming that no ghost had ever actually died? Ha! "I'll show you how a hecking diddly dang ghost is made, Bitch Fartman."

Bonus ending: After yeeting Butch Hartman's soul into the ghost zone ("How could you do this? I created your childhood!") Danny saves us all by swallowing him whole ("No, I never got to say goodbye to my Hartfans! Who will create Oaxis content now?!" *glug-slorp*)

[aminiatureworld]

Time and Chance II

Characters: Kaeya, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,702

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: Confessions are tricky things. Sometimes it takes week, maybe months, maybe years of building up courage for one to happen. And sometimes life throws the oddest wrenches in our paths.

In which the reader confesses.

Author’s Note:

Sorry for the lack of Zhongli. I feel completely awful currently and though I wrote part of his scenario it was really poor in quality so I decided to stick with Kaeya and Xiao. I’ll get to him and Keqing another time I promise. Also don’t worry this isn’t life or death I just need to sleep it off lol. I realize between this and my computer there’s always something and I feel a bit guilty about it. At least I hope everything’s up to par!

This also probably won’t get proofread tonight.

 I hope you enjoyed my extra fic for Valentine’s Day! To all the lovely people who requested prompts I will be getting to those next week. Have a lovely night and thank you so much for your patience!

Kaeya

Perhaps falling in love with Kaeya wasn’t the most original thing you’d ever done, but by the time you’d come to that conclusion you were too far gone to care.

You loved Kaeya, or at least you liked him a lot. As someone who looked up to the Knights of Favonius there was something intriguing about the man who was simultaneously one of its lynchpins, and a sort of rogue state of a human being. It didn’t hurt that he was stupidly good looking, and a bit of a smoother talker. Okay, maybe more than a bit, but you didn’t really mind that. It was nice to be flirted with sometimes, and Kaeya had the sense never to take it too far.

You figured that Kaeya was at least somewhat aware of your feelings. Though you never asked about it, it seemed somehow too brash. Instead you figured that, in the months that had passed since your friendship had begun – for you did see it as a friendship by now – Kaeya had become aware and decided not to comment on it, as to not hurt your feelings. Though you wouldn’t go as far as call it noble of him, you certainly appreciated it.

So this charade continued on. You two remained close friends, or rather close friends in your estimation. Kaeya continued to flirt and you continued to ignore your personal feelings. It was truly an odd song and dance, but it wasn’t one you were about to change, not willingly anyways.

It’d become a bit of a tradition to patrol together. Seeing as you were an adventurer yourself and Kaeya was, well, Kaeya, you two had eventually decided it was better to make one long patrol together than two shorter patrols apart. Besides wasn’t the rule safety in numbers?

It was an exceedingly boring patrol, and as it neared its end the atmosphere between you two grew from semi-serious to absolute buffoonery. Kaeya had challenged you to see who could pick the most flowers the fastest, then who could control their vision’s element the long, then eventually, seized by some divine genius, he suggested that you might see who could run the farthest on the walls of Monstadt without falling over.

“This has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever agreed to.” You grumbled good naturedly. “Don’t blame me if you go tumbling off and end up with a broken leg.”

“I trust you’ll lift me to safety before that happens.” Kaeya answered back, eyes alight with his daredevil proposal.

“My anemo vision isn’t your personal elevator captain.” You reminded him. Hauling yourself up on the walls so you were on the farthest side you flashed a thumbs up. Kaeya nodded.

“Okay. Three… two… one and three quarters.”

“Kaeya.” You huffed, eliciting a chuckle from the knight.

“Okay, okay. Three, two, one, go!” The two of you ran as fast as you could, scrambling up the turrets, too concentrated to talk. Kaeya was laughing though, and eventually you found yourself laughing too, thrilled by the recklessness you were indulging in and the freedom to be doing it with someone apparently as stupid as you were.

“I’m getting ahead~” Kaeya chimed. You scoffed, quickening your pace. Kaeya did likewise, and for a moment it seems you two were going to be running the entire wall in this position. That is before Kaeya slipped.

“Shit.” He cursed, waving his arms like a madman. This only lasted a few seconds before he truly tumbled off, heading towards the stone paved ground. You didn’t say anything, though your brain was screaming various incomprehensible things. You simply clambered off your perch, hands already outstretched, praying to the god Barbatos that you could manipulate air you couldn’t see.

Luck was on your side as it turned out, and your swirl of wind caught Kaeya before he hit the pavement. Gliding down you shook your head wildly.

“Great gods Kaeya you scared the shit out of me!” You knew that you were screaming slightly, but you couldn’t help it. The whole situation had riled you up, leaving you panicked and not fully in control of your emotions.

“I’m fine! Honestly I am. I’m only sorry I lost.” Kaeya chuckled, but his laughter was weaker than before and his expression was slightly shocked.

“It’s not time to joke around Kaeya!” You shot back. “You can’t be so reckless! I know that it was also my fault for agreeing to it, but honestly! What would Monstadt do without you? What would I do without you?” You paused then, realizing that what you said held certain implications you’d been hoping to keep under wraps.

“What do you mean?” Kaeya’s expression immediately became brighter. Figures he’d read the meaning into your words. Honestly the man was too emotionally intelligent for his own good.

“I meant was I said.” You replied, figuring that there was nothing else to say. The truth was all but out now. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you Kaeya. Now I’m going to tell you something I’ve been hiding for a while, and since I saved your life and revealed it in the process I just want you to take it seriously, okay? I’m not joking, and now that I’ve said it I want to make it explicit. I like you. Like, I like, like you. And I know that I’m just your friend and that you’ve probably been aware of it for ages, but it’s out in the open now, okay? You don’t have to reciprocate or anything, that’s not it. I just… want to let it out.”

You stared at Kaeya, trying to gauge his reaction as much as possible, unwilling to look away. Unsurprisingly the news hardly seemed shocking to him, but instead of his smile slipping from his face it only grew wider. “You’re kinda oblivious you know.”

“I – what?” You sputtered, slightly offended. This wasn’t where you expecting it to go. “I don’t expect you to reciprocate, but leave the teasing alone for now at least!” So much for calling Kaeya emotionally intelligent.

“You’re reading this the wrong way!” Kaeya held up his hands, before stepping closer to you. “I just can’t believe that you’ve been my friend this whole time, had feelings on top of it, and never noticed that I was just as interested in you. I mean I’ve been flirting with you for months.”

“You flirt with everyone.” You scoffed, although the argument seemed to hold a bit less weight when compared to the jubilant, slightly smug look on Kaeya’s face.

“You may be right about that.” He admitted. “But c’mon. I don’t flirt with them like I flirt with you. I certainly don’t take them out on patrol.” His expression turned softer then, and he shook his head. “I know that I joke around a lot, but I promise, I wouldn’t joke about this. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you though, that was a fault on my part.”

“So you mean I’ve been hiding my feelings all this time for nothing?” You deadpanned, feeling overwhelmed. The situation still seemed too good to be true.

“Sounds about right.” Mischief was creeping back into Kaeya’s voice. “But it’s all right now! Your prayers have been heard! So, since you were the one to admit your feelings, I’ll be the one to ask the question. Want to date?”

“Yes.” You replied, sure of your answer.

“Good.” Kaeya replied, before pulling you into a hug, one you gladly reciprocated. It had been a hell of a day, and while you wouldn’t relieve Kaeya’s fall for anything you felt somehow lighter, as if a great burden had been lifted off your shoulders. He liked you, Kaeya liked you. For you, for now, that was all that mattered.

 Xiao

Once you’d decided to admit your feelings to Xiao you’d immediately followed up that decision with the knowledge that you were going to have to break it to him slowly. You’d been friends with Xiao for over a year now, and though you were cautiously optimistic as to how the adeptus would take it, you still knew that he wasn’t the kind of person who would be at all comfortable with a sudden confession.

Confessing your feelings was in itself an act which required all the courage you possessed. You weren’t sure when you’d truly started falling for Xiao, it had come about so gradually. But before you knew it you had grown to love him. You loved the way he talked, the soft cadence of his voice though often impatient was still filled with enough softness to make your heart flutter. You loved how, despite all he’d suffered, he still retained a begrudging love for the world, especially Liyue, which he once revealed to you would always be the one thing he loved, even if he loved nothing else. You loved everything, his hands, his eyes, the way he walked, the way he kept going despite it all. You loved it so much it hurt, and now you found that your love wasn’t something merely to be pushed away. If the odds of Xiao rejecting you were almost 100 so be it, at least then you’d be proud of yourself.

You spent quite a bit of time mulling the whole thing over, before the answer struck you. Xiao refused the gifts you brought him after some of your adventures, and when you’d once asked him what he might accept he’d shifted his gaze slightly towards the side, one hand running itself through his hair. “…Almond… Tofu.” He’d admitted. You’d been delighted by the revelation at the time, promising yourself you’d learn to make it. And what was a better way to show your feelings than to do so now? Not only was it something he’d like, it was something you’d made yourself.

So you gathered all the ingredients, borrow a receipt, and set to work in Wangshu Inn’s kitchen.

Unfortunately you’d failed to predict how difficult Almost Tofu was to make. It’d been hours and you had nothing to show for it but dirty utensils, a scarcity of ingredients, and a few mysterious blobs that looked about two steps away from inedible. Leaning your head on the counter you let out a groan. Why the fuck did you think this was a good idea?

“What’re you doing?” A familiar voice broke through your reverie.

“Xiao!” You exclaimed, glancing around you. There was no use hiding the project, although technically nothing was looking even close to Almond Tofu right now. “I was, I was trying to make Almond Tofu. But I guess I’m no good at cooking.” You laughed, more than slightly embarrassed.

Xiao’s eyes narrowed, and he raised an eyebrow. Saying nothing he walked over to the counter. Grabbing a cloth he started wiping down the counter.

“What’re you doing?” You asked, slightly confused and extremely surprised.

“Teaching you.” Came the reply. “Come on, let’s start again. Have you washed your hands since your last attempt?”

If cooking was difficult without Xiao it was impossible with him. The whole time you couldn’t help butbe aware of his presence, the way he stood behind you, leaning forward ever so often. Once you hadn’t been mixing fast enough and he placed his hands on yours, pressing his chest against your back. Your grip had immediately lost all strength, and you were sure that Xiao was the only one actually working. His breath was warm against your neck, and his palms were warm and dry. It was all too much, and you spent the rest of the lesson only half paying attention, too wrapped up in his proximity to you.

Despite the distractions this batch turned out, well looking like Almond Tofu. You couldn’t help but smile when seeing the finished product. Even if you didn’t make it completely yourself, there was still something about creating that gave you a sense of pride. Even if you did need help from the person you were going to give it to.

“It’s done.” Xiao proclaimed, a slight smile of satisfaction on his face. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“Oh, well actually I made it for you.” You grabbed the plate and approached the adeptus. “I know you said it was your favorite, and the only thing you’d accept, so, I made it!” You smiled slightly, though inside you were a bundle of nerves. This was happening. Holy shit this was happening.

The surprise on Xiao’s face was evident, but he nevertheless took the plate. Grabbing a pair of chopsticks he pressed into the tofu, causing it to almost immediately separate. Taking a bite a smile crossed his face. “Thank you,” he said, “it’s very good. I’m surprised you remembered.”

“Of course I did!” You replied, voice slightly hurried. “And, um, well I’d like to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Xiao’s slightly concerned look returned. Setting the plate down he crossed his arms.

“Well… you see.” You glanced at the floor. “I know this will probably seem very sudden, and maybe not very proper; and I know that this is something that’s purely one sided, but the fact is I like you. I like you more than a friend and, well… yeah.” You finished, feeling as if you’d just spoken some utter nonsense.

Glancing up you noticed how rigid Xiao had gone. Mouth twisting into a nervous frown you shook your head. “I’m so sorry! I know that you aren’t really, well you’ve said you aren’t familiar with the way humans experience the world. And I don’t want to put you on the spot, that’s the last thing I wanted to do. I’m sorry it’s so shocking.” Glancing away you started worrying your hands together. This had gone so much worse than you’d expected it.

“I don’t understand,” Xiao finally spoke, dropping his arms to his sides, “I don’t understand why you’d like someone like me. I’m not a human, and in terms of adepti I’m far more cursed than most. You shouldn’t, you shouldn’t like some like me. I bring disaster.”

“No you don’t!” The objection came naturally to you, horrified as you were by Xiao’s view of himself. “You’re one of the most wonderful beings I’ve ever met, human or adeptal! You’re kind, and you try to understand the pain and emotions of humanity. And you never push your burdens onto others despite carrying such heavy ones. If that’s not the mark of a good person, well then I don’t know what is!”

“I still don’t understand.” Xiao said, voice softer than usual but just as matter of fact.

“I’m sorry I pushed this onto you.” You said, suddenly feeling a burst of regret, turning around you made to leave the kitchen.

“Wait!” Xiao’s voice was loud and slightly jarring, his hand caught your wrist in a grip that, while gentle, was still firm. You turned around, unsure what to expect. Xiao sighed, closing the distance between you two. “When I said I don’t understand, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.” There was a pause as he collected his thoughts, looking down, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t understand how humans think, nor how they feel. But, when I’m around you I’m happy, happier than I’ve been in a millennia. And I want to be around you, all the time sometimes. I want to know more about you and I want you to know more about me. So, if that’s what you mean, then… I also like you.”

Xiao glanced back up towards you and your eyes met. You felt slightly floaty all of a sudden, as if you’d gotten very, very drunk. Everything was too sudden, your emotions had changed too quickly. But through all your confusion you understood one thing. Xiao liked you, he liked you. He wasn’t going to reject you or push you away. The thought was enough to bring a smile to your face.

“So you really like me?” You asked. Though you knew the answer now you still wanted to hear it again. Just in case.

“Yes.” Xiao replied, a smile once more adorning his face. “I like you.”

And that was all you needed to hear.

[voorbeees]

[ me, writing a decent fic? impossible! Anyway here’s a fic about Jesse adopting a kid that I got kind of carried away with but i don’t care. 

you can also read it here . Also don’t forget I take commissions. ]

The sharp hunting knife plunges into the woman's temple. It's a faster kill than he enjoys. Usually he'll bide his time, watching, waiting until he's spotted a piggy that suits him. Typically it's a cat and mouse game, dragged out for as long as possible. Psychological torture is the game. That accompanied by true torture, eventually.

Jesse has found himself becoming far more annoyed by Preston than usual, which is saying something, considering that the man makes him consider driving a knife into his own eye in order to end the conversation faster. After the latest whining spree, he's decided he's just going to kill him. Preston offers no value to himself or his organization anymore. Only he wants an audience when he does it. Set an example. No other employees voice opinions like him, but Jesse wants to make sure they remember who's in charge.

Chromeskull twists the knife in a fit of anger. God even thinking about him pisses him off. Another turn for good measure then he yanks the blade from the woman's head. It's a clean kill and for that he's sorry. She'd have been perfect for slicing and butchering. Whatever. It's done. The night is still young and there's still plenty of piggies to find.

He swaggers back to his Chrysler 300 to retrieve a body bag. Once he's back, Jesse stuffs the body in the bag and slings it over his should as if he's done this a thousand times. (Probably because he has done this a thousand times.) He's not too worried about the crime scene, it's an abandoned warehouse for Christ's sake. The only people who'll be snooping around in here are your typical crack head junkies. No one in their right mind is going to believe that they found blood. Even better, they'd probably be convicted of the crime. Now that's fucking hilarious. Jesse laughs silently at the thought. The only indication that he's even doing it being the up and down movement of his shoulders.

By this point he's made sure his knives are tucked safely away back in his chrome briefcase, which he holds in his free hand. Jesse kicks the door open with enough strength to knock it off its hinges. He stands there on the stoop in the back alley for a moment before marching down the dimly lit alleyway to his car.

A scuffing noise coming from behind catches his attention. Jesse turns around with enough force to make the body over his shoulder whizz through the air and thunk hard against his back. Nothing catches his eye so he brushes it off. Most likely a stray cat.

The trunk to the car opens with a click and he throws the body inside. Better care is taken when he places his briefcase in beside it. The video has long since finished recording and he takes the time now to remove the tape, titling it Jacksonville. It's honestly not even worth keeping or naming but who gives a fuck. He caught the bitch and killed her, it's his fair and square.

Pocketing the tape, he slams the trunk shut. He's opted to keep his chrome mask on. No sense in taking it off just to reapply the adhesive an hour later. He whirls around, ready to jump into the car and drive off when instead he practically jumps out of his fucking skin.

There no more than a few feet away stands a small child, no older than six. Big doe-like eyes stare up at him and it takes Jesse a minute to regain his composure. What the fuck? He looks around but sees no one. Clearly she belongs to someone, which sounds stupid as fuck because she isn't a fucking dog. And yes. Now he can make out clearly that it is a little girl. He doesn't have many rules he abides by when the chrome mask is placed on his face, but killing kids is one of his top ones. They're still too young to understand the world or just how terrible their mothers are for leaving them alone long enough to get a fuck in.

The little girl takes a tiny step forward and Jesse wastes no time in yanking his phone from his pocket. He types furiously on it, black nitrile making hardly a sound.

'GO AWAY' . The electronic voice echoes off the brick walls of the alley. He can tell by the way she flinches back a step that his point is made. Good. Jesse brushes past her, ready to leave the situation behind. At least until he feels a tug on his black slacks.

The little girl clings to his designer pants, eyes wide but not from fear, more so curiosity. Jesse wastes no time in furiously typing on his phone again. 'GO HOME. I'M A BUSY MAN AND I DON'T NEED TO BE HELD UP. ' His only response is a slow blink.

'NO. ' He dislodges her tiny hands and pushes her on the back in the opposite direction. ' GO HOME. ' Jesse thinks he's finally gotten her to understand but it's the exact opposite. For some fucking reason that makes her want to be even closer to him.

"Why do you wear that?" She asks as she points to his mask.. She has to hold her head all the way back to even see his "face". It's actually rather comical and if anyone were to walk by at this moment they'd probably double over with laughter. The girl barely makes it up to his thigh, as to where the 6'7 man looks like a god damned giant looking at a pomeranian. "Are you hiding from someone?"

Yes that was obviously it! He, a known killer, was hiding from someone. What a stupid -- Jesse stops himself mid thought as his brown eye takes in her appearance. It's raggedy to say the least. Then again, anyone who compared his attire to another’s would consider it to be raggedy. ' HOME. LEAVE ME ALONE. FIND YOUR MOTHER. '

The girl's face seems to crumple at this and for a moment Jesse is dumbfounded. "I -I don't know where she is." The tiny voice squeaks out. Her lower lip begins to quiver and ohmyfuckinggod he's done it now. People could care less if they heard a woman on the streets yelling, but a kid? Someone would come bounding around the corner to the rescue. Which only meant he'd then have to kill them and whoever else came with them. "She leaves sometimes and doesn't come back for a while." His mangled lip twists into a snarl under the chrome mask. "She usually says it's because she has to work." Ah, so that explained it.

Jesse's eye darts to the trunk of his Chrysler 300. Of course the whore brought her kid to work. If he could talk, Jesse would have a mouthful of slurs to toss at the dead woman. He knows all too well what it's like to not have a mother, and knows even better the concept of a drunk for a father. Though something tells him there's no father in this situation.

"Can I come with you? At least until she comes back?" It's such an innocent question and it takes everything in him to hold back the sensation of snuffing out a life. Chromeskull is creeping further into the picture, just begging to sink his claws into her and kill her but Jesse smoothers that thought.

He's always had a fond spot for kids. It was actually something he was excited about when he'd found out his wife was pregnant but just like everything else that had been ruined too. He never talks about his wife. The only time he did was when Spann had the displeasure of explaining the situation to him. After that he'd made it clear to never mention her or the unborn baby again by destroying everything in his office. The room looked like it had been hit by a tornado when he was done, broken pictures, splintered chairs, holes in the wall. The scenario made his fiasco with destroying the mirror after seeing his own disfigurement seem mild. All of that accompanied with the unsaid "this is your fault" regarding her suicide has been eating away at him slowly over the years.

' NO. ' He shakes his leg free. Tricky little pest.

"But please?" She's latches on to him again and Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck about his current attire screams "I'm here to help you!". Because it sure as fuck isn't the mask or knives hidden away in his car.

By this time he's just decided to remove his gloves, throwing the used nitrile into the passenger seat of the open driver side door. The low light illuminates the tattoos that cover his hands. The letters on his knuckles moving slightly when he clenches his fists together. He's about to start typing again when the tiny voice breaks the silence. "Oh you painted your hands!" It's the stupidest fucking thing he's ever heard. They're tattoos, tattoos that decorate both arms from the knuckles up when he's not dressed for the job. But it's also the funniest thing he's ever heard and Jesse can't help the smile that stretches across his mangled face behind the mask. Children are so God damned innocent. A tiny hand removes itself from his slacks to grasp at his hand but Jesse moves it out of her way before she can grab it. A sad expression settles on her face but it quickly disappears as he hikes his slacks up by the knees, making it easier for him to bend down. He's eye level with her now and he sees almost instantly how her demeanor changes. Once more it's not fear (odd considering there's a giant man in a chrome skeleton mask right in front of her face), but rather elation.

She wastes no time in snatching one of his hands examining it. In the process his sleeve rides up to reveal more ink on his arm. "You colored your arm too?" She looks up to see him nod once slowly. This only sits off another tirade of questions. Jesse can't really answer them. Sure he could type them and let the phone do the talking but that’s too much fucking work. He's not sure if she understands sign language so no point in trying that. He settles for just nodding or shaking his head, short answers she's bound to understand.

"You don't talk much, huh?" It's not that he doesn't talk, it's that he can't talk. Most days Jesse would give anything to be able to express himself through voice, even if it meant giving his remaining eye. But he's always lived like this and there's no point in complaining about what can't be fixed. Plus it adds an intimidation aspect to him, something he rather enjoys.

"Can I come with you?" She asks again and this time Jesse studies her for a moment. He weighs the options in his head. She is alone and it would be awfully rude to simply leave her here by herself in the back of an alley. Seeing as Jesse is the perfect gentleman, he can't simply do that. It's hard to tell what will happen to her if he just leaves her here. Other people might say she's his responsibility because he obviously just fucking killed her mom, but from his point of view she didn't seem like a mother anyway. No loss in that department. He finally nods and there's just something about the way her tiny face lights up with delight that just wants to make him laugh. For having just met him, she seems very content to cling to him. Then an idea pops into his head. Wanting children and then having the possibility taken away, only to be rewarded with one. He can already hear Preston's annoying voice now, and honestly that's all the fucking push he needs.

Jesse stands to his full height with ease. The little girl follows him as he makes his way back to the car. She blinks at the automobile. "I've never seen a car like this before. Are you rich?" Very rich, he wants to say but settles for nodding. And if he has anything to say in the matter, she’ll be just as rich in a short time also.

---------

Jesse parks the car outside the warehouse his operation is currently running in, not bothering to make an effort to hide it. Besides he's not too worried about the police. He pulls open the back door and the little girl eagerly jumps into his arms, still talking a hundred miles an hour (something she's been doing for the last twenty minutes, but frankly he doesn't care). He walks them through the building's side door, being met instantly by Spann and then Preston, who's wearing that annoyingly fake 'happy to see you!' expression.

"Sir, we didn't expect you back until morning." Spann's soothing voice meets his ears. He responds with a shrug as he sees her eyes land on the child.

And then that voice grates on his ears. "Boss, you're fucking kidding, right?" It's followed by a nervous and unbelieving laugh. "I didn’t take you for the adopting strays sort of guy. Let alone, I think she's a little young for you." Preston laughs again but he's met with Spann's hard stare and Jesse's blood-curdling one. The implication that he has something planned is enough to make his mangled lip curl into a snarl under the mask.

It's then he places the girl in the other man's arms and begins typing on his phone. ' GET HER SETTLED IN AT HOME. ROOM. CLOTHES. SCHOOL. ' It's a clear statement and he doesn't plan on repeating himself.

"Might I commend you on how great of an idea having an apprentice is, Sir." Jesse makes a so-so movement with his hand then signs the word "daughter". Spann smiles widely. "Even better. I've always seen you as a family man." The both of them begin to make their way back to his office.

"Boss!" Preston looks between the kid in his arms and back to Jesse. "You're not serious."

The electronic voice meets his ears once again. ' DO IT NOW. '

"Boss!" The sound reaches his ears once more before he closes the door and sinks into his chair. A smile stretches across his face under the mask as Spann begins explaining plans to move the operation. Maybe Preston does have a use. Being the always available babysitter.

[yueasuka]

For @ladrienjune 2021 day 1 : Private Island

--

No beta, no grammar check. I'll come back to it later.

An AU where Adrien is never come to the public school and therefore never meet the guardian and Marinette become the guardian not long after she become a Ladybug because Master Fu passed away without giving her much clue about the Miracle Box because the grimoire is never found.

This is basically a sidekick!Adrien AU that I recently found and want to try to write it for once. 😭

--

The first time she met him was at one of Chloe party that she held on her family's private island. She was skeptical about this party. Chloe don't just invite people, not unless they're famous or rich, she would never. But upon knowing that she held this party for Ms Bustier's birthday make her lower her guard. After all, nothing could go wrong with that, right?

"Of course something must go wrong whenever Chloe is involved!" She rant, her yo-yo spinning in her hand in defence mode as she run to find somewhere safe so she could summon her Lucky Charm.

His soft-awkward laugh could be heard from the earpiece and she almost smacked her hand to her face. "No offence to your friends but she's does has terrible attitude." She muttered.

"None taken. There's a refreshing table not far from your right, you can throw it to the akuma to create an opening so you can go out from the akuma's view then turned left toward the corridor it should be give you enough space for you to summon your charm."

She glanced to her right and quickly found the table that he mentioned. "Got it." Just like he instructed, she quickly run toward the table and use her yo-yo string to throw it toward the akuma before she turned toward the corridor and summoned her Lucky Charm.

After that everything is going smoothly. She finally purify the akuma and reverse all the damage.

"Next time Chloe throw a party, remind me to not coming no matter what." She grumbled after she make sure the victim was okay and going to the room that he pointed out to detransform.

"You regrets coming tonight?"

"Ye-" she paused and contemplated her words. True that coming to this party had make her identity got revealed to him, (accidentally!!) which is a disaster. But at the same time, him knowing her identity also what make the fight tonight become smooth and faster, since he could guide her and pointed out something that she missed. "Okay, I'll give that half and half then." She said as she get into the room, lock the door behind her and let the magic of Miraculous washed away from her. "Which is, by the way, still dangerous for you." She added, blue eyes looks pointedly at the other occupant in the room.

"Tell you what, M'Lady? Dangerous is my middle name." He said after he raised from the chair and approached her with his outstretched hand and smile on his face. "Adrien Agreste."

She looked at his hands for a moment before she accept it. "Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Although I'm sure you know that."

"Considering how much time Chloe yelled your name tonight? Yes. But we never properly introduce each other so..." he shrugged.

She sighed. "Look, I'm grateful for your help tonight Adrien but..."

"It's dangerous, if somehow Hawkmoth know I know your identity then he could use that to his advantage, right?"

"Yeah..."

"But that is only a scenario /if/ he knows, what he doesn't know won't hurt you. Look," he said before she could reply. "Fighting alone is already dangerous, don't tell me you're never feel stressed all these months."

And he was right. She almost give up if she didn't remember that she's currently the Guardian because the old man has passed away, leaving her with a duty that shouldn't be her and a responsibility that no sixteen years old should have. Just how many lies she has told her family and friends in the past few months? Marinette was glad Alya is still her friends despite her keeping her at arm length now that she was busy with her duty. But then again, just how many close call she must endure before Alya renounce her friendship? After all, those lies and unexplainable disappearances was what make her break up with Luka. What stop Alya to do the same? The imagination of Alya leaving her make her clench her fist and it was only Adrien's soft touch on her shoulders that stop her from hurt herself.

"What I want to say is that, there's nothing wrong with telling people about it. No one should do it alone, not even you. I'm not saying you're not capable, it's the opposite, but there's only so much burden one can hold before they explode and trust me Marinette, I know."

She looked up at him, looking at his green eyes, understanding was in there, along with some emotion that she doesn't know.

"I know we just meet and you don't know me well but I do want to help you. Or maybe you can tell your secret with Alya-"

"No, you knowing is dangerous enough. I couldn't drag her too." She said, voice cracking. "And I shouldn't drag you too."

"You didn't though, this is something that I decided."

"It's dangerous."

"I know."

"You could be hurt."

"We don't know that."

"You don't have a miraculous."

"One does not need a miraculous to help. I can be your confidant and like tonight I can help you give another perspective and I don't need to be in the battlefield to help."

A confidant, a friends that she could share her burden, a friend she could tell about her secret. It does... Sounds appealing and as she feel the nudge from her purse, she glanced down to see Tikki's smile of approval.

"Okay." She finally said. "Just promise me you will be out from the battlefield, let me do the hard work."

"And I can help you from the shadow with my superpower!"

"She raised a brow. "A superpower? I thought you don't have a miraculous."

"No, I don't."

"Then what is this the superpower you mentioned?"

"I'm rich." He said with the stupidest grin she ever saw, one that make her laugh erupted.

Maybe tonight isn't as disaster as he thought it be.

[tigerdrop]

okay kind of obsessed with the body swap art tho. idk why i just like benrey getting to bully gordon with his own body, his own voice, and i like gordon trying to navigate whatever weird shit benrey’s got going on. gordon not being able to figure out or control whatever organs in benrey’s throat produce sweet voice so it’s just spewing whatever emotions he’s feeling at random (including Horny? uh oh. can’t hide that as easily as a surprise boner can you gordon?)

this ask kicked me into actually thinking about it and your brain is so huge. massive. i lost control

last night i was struggling to articulate thoughts for the body swap thing but this is kickstarting me. i. really love bodyswap stuff........(sighing) i am yet again having to confront the fact that i latched onto an embarrassing number of Things after having first read about them in [REDACTED]. truly hate being alive

so like......potions. you can get into a whole lot of weird stuff with potions. truly loving that darnolds 5-minute existence gives me an excuse to think of the stupidest horny potions scenarios

and why in the fuck wouldnt he have a bodyswap potion just chillin in his lab. why wouldnt benrey crack that bad boy open and take a sip while darnolds bitching at him "dont you touch any of those goddamn potions. im not gonna tell you which ones which so if you die, you die"

gordon claps benrey on the back afterwards like "well, thats a risk im perfectly happy for him to take" but uh oh you fucking buffoon. the touch is what activates it. and shit just starts spinning and schlorping in his mind and he nearly falls over clutching the lab bench next to him and when he cracks his eyes back open, hes........shorter. and everybodys asking if somebodys okay but that somebody isnt him and hes kind of miffed about that

and then gordons head turns and he sees Himself being steadied on his feet by tommy and darnold and hes like.......guys? guys. hello! and the sound of benreys voice coming out of him with that irritated and loud timbre makes everybody turn to face him........b/c that is so insanely weird coming from him

im like way into the idea of benreys, like, Eye Darkness Thing transferring to gordons face when their bodies are swapped, too. its just his malevolent energies manifesting physically no matter what body hes in

Wait god wait. Like. Benrey in Gordon's body and he gets horny for some reason and has to live Gordon's fucking pained life of the suit edging the hell outta him- Bc now Gordon can actually fucking jerk off for the the first time in days. No edging bullshit from the hev suit

benreys newfound appreciation for why gordons such a bitch all the time

RRRRRRRRRRR gordon able to go wild beating his meat that night finally but right before he does he stops because hes looking down at. 8)!

YES EXACTLY....... gordon freeman humbled by the sight of benreys huge meat. except its his meat now 

at first he only feels mildly weird about jacking it when hes not even in his own body right now but hes been edged for days now and hes just thinking "if i can just get this out of the way now, ill be clear-headed for however fucking long im stuck in black mesa. maybe this is why ive been so goddamn stupid lately. yeah"

but then he gets some time and space to himself at long last and unzips and the shock of seeing benreys huge uncut dick instead of his own brings him back to reality like "?oh my god what the fuck am i doing"

embarrassment! guilt! but also hes still fuckin horny and eventually curiosity wins out. whats the harm, right. its not like he has to say anything about it. and gordon freeman is (mostly) heterosexual and hes never been this up close and personal with a foreskin before and hes just......curious. scientifically

maybe hes even.......locked himself inside one of the company restrooms while hes at it. just to make sure hes got privacy. and there is a mirror right there........  he was gonna just bust one out and leave as fast as he can but now hes curious

starts. thumbing the hem of his shirt under benreys vest. starts lifting it up experimentally just to see where all that hair leads. out of curiosity. and seeing the curve of benreys stomach peek out in the mirror makes him hiccup on sweet voice inadvertently 

weirdly enough theres a part of him thats both relieved and disappointed that hes never seen that color before

he never envisioned that seeing benrey like this would be a turn-on but like......with that vest and that helmet on he just looks like some kind of fuckin roundish rectangle shape. but now gordons intimately familiar with how his body feels to move around in......what hes gotta look like underneath all that armor and ill-fitting work clothes......and the hornier he gets the stupider he gets

takes off the helmet.......just to test the waters. if somebody manages to bust in, thats not so weird to explain. and hes surprised by the shock of black hair he finds under there. he doesnt know what he was expecting....but honestly, benrey looks, like, kind of nice like that. more like a person

im slightly obsessed with the idea of benrey just not even registering as a Real Guy, physically, to gordon, one that he could possibly be attracted to, until hes out of his work uniform.......like hes more of an icon of a person than anything up until that point. pure signifier. no substance

like......you know......the equivalent of how benreys HL model registers to 99% of people watching the series. sure, thats not necessarily anything youd register as "hot", most likely, but then u peel that away and its like........Oh

the model is the icon and the representation of the icon is the real

and gordon runs a hand thru benreys hair and tries out one of those shitty little smirks benrey likes to use on him and the effect is.......dizzying. is that him? is that what benrey really looks like to him?? he feels fuckin salacious doing this

he can even.........get his face up close to the mirror and really look at those teeth

run his tongue over them experimentally.......feel their sharp edges.......and, no, theyre not sharp like a knife, but they are definitely pointy. and surprisingly well-kept......hes never seen benrey brush his teeth before but clearly he must. theyre so smooth and slick under his fingertips

and then he flushes and drops his hand b/c hes getting some weird fucking thoughts right now........but looking back up at himself in the mirror and seeing benreys face all wide-eyed and red makes the issue worse

oh, you really like seeing him look like that, dont you. and gordons pissed b/c this isnt even his fucking brain but its still whispering the exact same neurotic, self-defeating shit at him that hes trying very hard to tamp down

and then he starts getting a little crazier. taking off the vest. he can explain that, no problem. its just kind of hot. heavy. he needed a breather! its normal. just in here to splash some water on his face and cool down, nothing wrong with that. but that just makes benreys shirt all the easier to access.......and he tugs the hem of it just a little higher and looks at himself in the mirror and runs a thumb over the curve of his stomach, where the hair is thickest, and he shivers

gordon freeman is deeply normal and would never get off to the sight of a guy with arms the size of his head tentatively dragging the hem of his shirt up, just for gordon to look at him closer

hands shaking from nerves as he decides to loosen his tie and start unbuttoning and he sees more and more hair-dusted skin and muscle and fat and a thin sheen of sweat reveal itself

> i could see gordon trying to tense and flex the muscles a bit just because hes normal

HE IS, AND HE WOULD

he doesnt know when "being horny b/c hes been pent up and edged for days and he just needs to get his rocks off real quick so he can be normal again" turned into "being horny b/c the way benrey looks under his uniform is scary good to him" but if he thinks about that too hard hes gonna have a panic attack

tells himself that its all just because he hasnt been able to get off. thats why hes thinking this shit. hell stop thinking it once he nuts

> hey this is a quick aside but yknwo how he talks to himself in third person sometimes? what if he does and then kinda does a mental double take at how his name sounds coming out of benreys mouth, with his voice. ok thats it goodbye

oh ym god thats making me go insane. doing it by accident and then.........saying it again. on purpose. just to hear benreys voice doing it

getting one knee hitched up onto the sink and leaning forward with his arm braced against the mirror and his forehead leaning on his arm and tugging benreys dick (no, idiot, thats your dick right now, stop thinking about it) and tentatively groaning out his own name and it comes out so hoarse and desperate that it punches him straight in the gut (too bad, hes thinking about it, he cant not think about it, not with the way he looks and sounds right now)

> remember in the series when benrey called him gordon one (1) time and he noticed immediately and was like..i think thats the first time youve called me by my name.

he looks so fucked out and slutty in that mirror that it almost makes him pass out

eyes darting like hes trying to commit every single detail of how he looks right now to memory (b/c he is. he fucking is. he wants to make benrey look like this so fucking bad. just for him. wreck him and get him flushed and sweaty and panting and moaning gordons name and jesus christ, okay, thats where his brains taking him. okay. cool)

hes dizzying himself thinking about it. he knows benreys hot for him by this point, theoretically. assuming his weird come-ons werent just jokes. benrey would probably let him do this to him. benrey would probably want him to touch his dick. gordon thinks about how good it might feel for his own hand to be on benreys dick and he cant get himself solidly into one headspace or another - hes gordon, hes benrey, he wants to touch, he wants to be touched, he wants to feel his own hand on this dick (and god, maybe he could. maybe he could ask. wouldnt that be crazy.)

benrey in gordons suit and gordons body and gordons face leaning over him, b/c fuck, he really is tall compared to benrey, hes figured that one out awful quick. and gordons (his) hand on his (benreys) dick and stroking him and leering down at him with those dark, dark eyes that dont even really look like his eyes, anymore, not with the way theyre shaded over, and hearing his (benreys) (his) voice moaning out his (gordons) (definitely gordons) name and all the little "pleases" and "thank yous" that he cant stop letting out b/c benreys voice was made for it, made to beg and whine and ask so nicely, and his heads spinning as he comes all over the fucking mirror and sink

> i wonder if this could be combine with the ideas that parts of the self or like mind is still a bit left behind if that makes sense, like with benrey also wanting this that part of the reason gordon wants to say those things

"do you want to fuck him or do you want to be him?" well my good bitch, perhaps you can have a little of both. welcome to my personal hell

hes never come so hard in his fucking life and the noise that rips out of him when he does, finally, after days of being jerked around (ha ha) makes his ears burn with shame

now if you really wanna go crazy. imagine that benreys up and walking around this whole time b/c being edged by his stupid broken suit is making it impossible for him to sleep, and he hears........all of this. stops and presses himself flat agains tthe wall to listen

he cant actually get into the bathroom to scare the shit out of gordon/offer to join in/etc, b/c this stupid flesh body of gordons cant even noclip, but he can press his ear to the door and. listen. and he can flush all the way down to his chest when he hears gordon in there, moaning out his own name with benreys voice

so thats what gordon wants him to do, huh. thats what hes thinking about.

poor benrey, tho. he gets to experience just a lick of the endless fucking suffering that gordon goes thru every single day just by being alive, and "the HEV suit trying and failing to suck him off to completion while his dick twitches against the hard metal of the interior every time gordon groans in there" is just one small part of it

anyway . see ya. my final message

[thejacketandthehook]

The Art of Pretending 3/?

Title: The Art of Pretending 3/?

Author: thejacketandthehook (aka everystareverywhere)

Summary:  Killian Jones needs a family and needs one now. In order to impress his boss, Killian hires a single mother and her son to pretend to be his wife and son for the weekend. Nothing can go wrong, right?

Rating: Teen (for language)

Words:  9746

Author’s Notes: Hello all! Here is my submission for the @captainswanmoviemarathon! This is based off of the Lifetime movie, “Borrowed Hearts,” starring Eric McCormack and Roma Downey. The movie came out in 1997, and I consider it to be one of the first made-for-tv Christmas movies.

A couple of years ago I was watching it and thought this would be a fantastic scenario for our favorite Captain and Savior. I wrote it and then stopped, and then started it again, only to stop again. When I saw this movie marathon, I knew instantly this was the movie I wanted to do and I wanted to make sure that I finished it this time.

I hope you enjoy it!

A30

Chapters: 1 | 2

Killian rubbed the back of his neck before sitting down on his couch. After a moment, he bounced up and began pacing in front of said couch before he sat down on one of the armchairs. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he used both hands to rub this neck before he jumped back up again.

“Would you calm down?!” Regina all but screamed at him as he paced once more. “Everything is going to be fine.”

“You have to say that because you got me into this mess,” he commented.

She sighed. “I’d apologize, but if this works, then you can send me a very expensive bottle of champagne as thank you.”

He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes – barely – before continuing, “Let’s get through this before anyone starts celebrating.”

Regina sighed before looking at her phone once more. “It’s going to be fine, Jones. I’m sure this…Emma person is fine and so is her son. Besides, it’s only two days. It’s not like you’re going to have to be married to her forever.”

He sighed. He knew she was she right. It wasn’t forever; it was barely even 48 hours. Mr. Woodman would be arriving Friday night, and be leaving Sunday morning. So it was only Friday evening and all of Saturday that he had to worry about. By Sunday night, his life would return to normalcy – except for the fact that he could be moving to London and being the manager of the London branch. Which he would love, since that would bring him closer to his brother and his family.

He sat down before leaning his head back on the chair. He actually spoke to his brother last night about this whole…arrangement, and well, Liam had a few chose words for him.

“Are you mad, brother?!” he yelled. “What the bloody hell are you thinking?! Lying to impress your boss?! That has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of!”

He wasn’t wrong, which made this whole situation worse. Liam was right; lying to Mr. Woodman would blow up in his face, surely. What would happen when Mr. Woodman goes to London and wants to visit Killian and his “family”? There are so many times he could say “They’re visiting her family” until it looks like he just made them up. Which he did. Well, at least, Regina did. But at that point, who the bloody hell would care?

Not that Killian wasn’t worried about who exactly this Emma woman and her son were. He can’t believe that he never met her before, seeing how close he and David are. After David told them that he would ask Emma if she would even consider it, he told Killian that his wife and Emma were the best of friends, almost like sisters. In fact, he went on to say, “Emma is kind of like my sister too.” So, how in the world have they not met before?

But, putting that aside for the moment, what was this woman even like? They had to pretend to be married, for God’s sake, hopefully there would be some kind of…attraction. Killian wasn’t the best actor on a good day, his brother’s words ringing in his head: “You always wear your heart on your sleeve, Killian. I always know how you’re feeling with just a glance in your direction.” If he wasn’t attracted to Emma, this could be a small problem.

“It’s just for weekend,” Regina’s words echoed. Well, that was true too. He could pretend for less than 48 hours. At least, he was sure that he could.

But what about her kid? What if he was a horrible little thing, totally spoiled? Killian was…okay with kids. He wasn’t really around them enough to decide whether or not he had a strong opinion about them. They seemed fine, from a distance. But now he was going to have one. In his house. What the hell did he get himself into?

Before he could really start panicking, which honestly was going to be any minute now, the doorbell rang.

“Thank God,” Regina sighed before she got up to get the bell. “Honestly, they must have taken the long way to get here.”

Killian was hot on her heels, following behind. He tried to look confident, but was afraid that his nerves were just overcoming his face. Regina had her hand on the doorknob before she looked back at him.

“Ready?”

He nodded.

Regina opened the door to reveal David, a young boy with light brown hair and brown eyes, and a woman that was probably the same age as David, if not a little younger.

The woman, though…

Bloody hell.

She was beautiful. She had a heart shaped face, with a small dimple at the chin, light green eyes and blonde hair that even in a ponytail touched between her shoulder blades. But even though she looks a little different now, he would know her anywhere. When she noticed Killian, her eyes grew bigger and her mouth dropped a little.

“Oh. You” was all she said.

David looked at Emma before looking at Killian. “Do you two know each other?”

“I’m Henry!” the little boy piped up. He was a cute kid, with some bottom teeth missing, and his eyes bright. He ran over to Killian before putting his hand out like he wanted to shake hands. “I’m going to be your son.”

Killian chuckled before taking the kid’s hand. Well, if nothing else, the kid at least broke some of the tension in the room.

“Nice to meet you, Henry. I’m Killian. I’ll be playing the role of your dad.”

Henry let go of Killian’s hand before tilting his head. “You speak like the people on that television show Mary Margaret and Mom watch. Are you British?”

Killian nodded. “I am indeed. I’m from a small town outside of London. My brother lives there now, with his wife and child.”

“Cool! I always wanted to go to London!”

“Since when?” Emma asked. Killian’s eyes found hers and for a moment they looked at each other before she looked down at her son.

“I just do,” Henry insisted before taking a step further into the house. “Can I see my room?”

“Er, sure.”

Regina stepped up and said, “It’s upstairs and to the left. Let me show you. I’m Regina, by the way.”

“Are you the Evil Queen? That’s what Uncle David calls you.”

“Uncle David” became fascinated with his shoes and wouldn’t glance at Regina, even though she was giving him the death glare.

When they went upstairs, David repeated his earlier question, “Do you two know each other?”

Emma nodded. “I…I think so. We might have" she cleared her throat, "…met before.”

Killian agreed. “Yeah. About two years ago?”

She nodded again. “Right. Yeah.”

David looked at the two of them before asking, “Do I want to know what happened?”

Killian and Emma looked at each other, and for a moment all Killian could feel was her skin under his hands, and his lips against hers.

Emma spoke up, bringing Killian back to the present. “Probably not,” she muttered before looking down, her cheeks a light red. He wondered if she was suddenly brought back to that moment too.

“You both were so sure that you didn’t know each other,” David insisted.

Killian clear his throat before looking at his friend. “We never got each other’s names.”

He looked at Emma, his heart pounding even harder than it was earlier.

Well, he didn’t have to worry about being attracted to her. Because he knew for a fact that he was.

~*~

It had to be him, didn’t it? Of all the freaking people in the world, the man that she might be “married” to for 48 hours had to be him!

Emma cleared her throat, trying to get moisture back into her mouth. She was a nervous reck all morning, wondering just what in blazes she was even thinking to even agree to this stupid idea. She almost backed out about three times, before Mary Margaret calmed her down, claiming that this would be a good thing. An extra two thousand dollars could help her as she goes looking for a nicer (or at least bigger) apartment.

But him?

“Where did you two meet?” David innocently asked.

Emma looked over at…Killian and answered, “Actually, at your birthday party about two years ago?” she finished as a question, unsure if her time was right.

Killian nodded. “Two years sounds about right.”

“I didn’t know that,” David exclaimed. He thought for a moment before saying, “That’s when we went to The Rabbit Hole. So you two have met?”

Emma looked down, her cheeks blushing though she wished they wouldn’t. “Yeah, something like that.”

All three were silent for a moment before David asked, “I really don’t want to know, do I?”

Killian gave a smile that was almost dashing as he proclaimed, “No. No, you do not.”

Emma looked up at Killian and gave a small smile. Killian winked at her before gesturing to the hallway behind him. “Shall we?”

For the first time since seeing the outside (which, yeah, David told Henry and her that it was huge, but damn it was big), Emma looked around the house. They were currently standing in the hallway/foyer which alone was tremendous. To her left was the formal dining room and to the right looked like a bathroom. As they moved further into the house, the staircase was to the right, going straight up to the second floor, and to the right was the doorway to the kitchen. The back of the house was a massive living room, that had a couch big enough to fit the three of them comfortably, two winged chairs, and a fireplace that doesn’t look like it’s ever been used.

As Emma looked around, her mind still racing with discovering just who exactly she was helping out, she couldn’t help but notice that though the house was gorgeous, it lacked…something. She couldn’t put her finger on it exactly.

“Have a seat,” Killian said, gesturing to the couch. “Make yourself at home.”

“It could be your home,” David smiled at Emma. When she just looked at him, he cleared his throat once before saying, “You know for two days.”

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Henry yelled, running down the stairs.

Emma stood up and said, “In here, Henry!”

Regina must have told him where to go, for it took a few seconds longer for him to run in than it should have. But when he came into the room, his smile was bright and he looked thrilled with what he just saw.

“Mommy, the room is huge! So big! And the bed, Mommy, the bed is so bouncy. And it’s a big bed, like you have!”

“You need toys,” Regina said, sitting in one of the winged chairs before looking at Killian. “You need way more toys.”

Killian shrugged. “I figured Henry could bring some.”

Regina sighed and David shook his head. “Man, I know that you aren’t around a lot of children, but they have a lot of toys.”

“Fine. We’ll get more toys.”

Emma, who was admiring the art work in the room, piped up, “You might need to get new things.”

Everyone was looking at her, which made her self-conscious. “What do you mean?” Killian asked. “What more could you possibly want in this house? It has everything.”

She nodded. “Yeah. It does. I mean, it’s beautiful, but…” She looked down at Henry, who smiled at her before taking off his school bag and taking his toy car out.

“But what?”

She looked up at him. “It doesn’t look like…like a home, you know?”

Regina, David, and Killian looked around. Regina and David started to nod, as though in agreement with Emma, but Killian looked almost insulted.

“It’s a fine home,” he insisted.

“It is!” Emma proclaimed. “It is, it’s just…it doesn’t look lived in. At all.”

“I agree,” Regina said with a nod.

“What in bloody hell are you talking about?” Killian said, louder than he should have.

“Temper,” Regina muttered as a warning, loud enough for Killian to hear.

Henry looked up at him. “We have to use our nice words.”

Killian looked at him like he could not believe those words were just directed at him. Before he could make another comment, David piped up, “I agree. It’s kind of…cool.”

“Exactly! We need to make it look like we’re all here, living together.”

Killian rolled his eyes before asking, “And just what did you have in mind, oh wife-of-mine-for-48-hours?”

Emma crossed her arms and tilted her head. “Do you want my help or not? Because I can leave here and not look back, fine by me.”

Killian took a deep breath and counted silently to ten before asking in a calmer voice, “Sorry. What do you have in mind?”

Emma still had her arms crossed for a moment before she released them and opened her purse that was slung across her body. She took out some pictures before holding them up. “Family photos. Surely families have pictures of themselves around the house.”

Killian nodded. “Yeah, okay, we’ll get some picture frames for them.”

She handed them to him before she looked over to an empty space that was almost in the shape of a hexagon. “And here,” she added, “We could put the tree here.”

“A tree?” Killian asked, as though he never heard of such a thing. “But Mr. Woodman is only going to be here for 48 hours!”

Emma turned to look at him. “A family with a young kid would definitely have a Christmas tree up the weekend before Christmas. Not a huge tree, mind you.” She looked back at the spot and for a moment and got lost in thought. She could almost see herself and Henry laughing as they put up the tree, and getting some old ornaments that Emma was able to scrounge around for. She smiled as she pictured Henry anxiously making sure the star on top was just right.

“Emma?”

She quickly looked behind her to see the three adults looking at her a bit curiously. “Sorry,” she said, before clearing her throat. “I just got lost in thought for a moment.”

Killian put Emma’s picture down on the coffee table before he sat down besides David. “Okay, so I imagine that you have some questions. Perhaps we should make sure that everyone involved knows their role before we start changing my house around.”

Emma nodded before going over to the other empty winged chair, and rubbed Henry’s head as she sat down. “Yes, I have some questions.” She cleared her throat before asking, “I’m getting my own room, right?”

“Yep. Next to the master’s suite is a small guest room. You’ll be sleeping in there.”

“And Mr. Woodman is staying here too?”

“Yes, there’s another room next to the library, which is where he will be sleeping.”

Emma went to ask another question before what he said registered in her brain. “Wait, next to the library…how many rooms are in this place?”

“A lot,” he said with a cocky smile.

Emma froze, looking at Killian and trying to remember how exactly she was supposed to breath. She hated that a small part of her was still….

No. No, she couldn’t think about that moment. She would get lost in her own thoughts again.  

Shaking her head, she continued, “What do we do with cooking and such? Because I can’t cook and I am certainly not cleaning up after you.”

“Well, I can cook if need-be,” he said, leaning forward. “As for cleaning, I have a maid.”

“House keeper,” David corrected.

Killian sighed before repeating, “House keeper. She’ll make sure everything is clean.”

“She knows what’s going on?”

“Yes. If you agree, she’ll meet with you and Henry to get acquainted.”

Emma nodded. “And this is next week, right?”

“Yes. The weekend of the nineteenth.”

Emma nodded once more. So the nineteenth and twentieth, Emma and Henry would be “working” for Killian. That still gave them four days to prepare for Christmas. Plus, Henry will be off from school for the Holiday break that week, so it’ll be even better.

Killian cleared his throat before asking, “So, do we have a deal?”

Emma looked at him and for a moment was brought back to that night three years ago.

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it,” she could see him smirking in her mind’s eye.

Shaking her head now, she cleared that imagine from her mind as she looked at Killian and replied, “Not so fast. I need to talk to my son.”

Putting her hand on his head, Emma leaned forward and said softly, “Listen, Henry, what—”

But she didn’t get to finish, because Henry yelled loudly, “Mommy, take it!”

Emma looked sheepishly up at Killian before standing up. She held out her hand and said, “It looks like you have a deal.”

Killian stood up and shook her hand as Regina jumped up and announced, “I now pronounce you husband and wife!”

[vagrantblvrd]

I’m all for Fiona being femme fatale hitperson/assassin who joins the crew due to Complicated Reasons involving at least one (1) hit out on on of the Fakes and this Thrilling and Suspenseful game of cat and mouse throughout Los Santos and the neighboring areas?

Like totally Cool and Awesome and absolutely not a dork?

But also, okay, also.

Fiona being this horrible gremlin new to the states who comes across this oh, so tempting offer to kill one or more of the Fakes in return for much monies and notoriety that will set her up as a Name To Be Feared in Los Santos.

Like, sure, she already has a reputation in Europe and abroad and all that, but Americans are all hung up on the stupidest things and have to give everyone stupid nicknames/codenames/etc and such and she might as well be starting from scratch and it’s just dumb, really.

Her work speaks for itself, but, again, Americans and this will speed things up.

And then she runs across Gavin and Michael first, chases after these assholes who seem to scrape through whatever trap/scenario she’s set up for them by the skin of their teeth and lead her on this merry little chase.

Somewhere along the way Alfredo and Trevor join in, and Lindsay just shows up and then there’s this dude in a Hawaiian shirt and some asshole with a mask an it’s gotten way out of hand???

But she’s kind of having fun in spite of these assholes thwarting her attempts at murderizing them, and anyway, anyway.

The crew shows up at the penthouse with Fiona on their heels still trying to kill them and go up to Geoff like “She followed us home,” and “Can we keep her?” and “Oh my God, Geoff, she’s totally awesome!!1!”

Meanwhile Fiona’s got a knife to Gavin’s throat like she’s really, really going to kill the bastard this time just you watch!!1!

Meanwhile, meanwhile, Gavin’s like :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD because this is the most fun he’s had in ages and Geoff, Geoff, you said we should look into expanding the crew/getting a new sniper for when Jeremy or Fredo’s on some other job, didn’t you?

Fiona’s like, “Uh, what?” and realizes where she is and feeling kind of bad for the poor guy on the couch because he just looks so tired?

Also like they interrupted him in the middle of binging some terrible reality show on tv (snacks and diest sodas and the whatnot seem to support that theory) and all that.

So she puts the knife away and fixes Gavin’s shirt collar with a little apology for all the attempted murderizing of him and all and goes to sit down on the couch.

Glances at Geoff and is all, “Is this the episode where Callista reveals she’s pregnant with Daniel’s long-lost twin brother’s kid?” because of course she watches the show too.

“Well, okay,” Geoff says with this sad little sigh. “I mean, spoilers? But, uh, yeah, I guess?”

Anyway, that’s one way Fiona joins the crew and it just gets weirder from there, which is fine because anything else would just be boring, you know?

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Love Isn’t Always On Time Part Thirteen

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Notes: Sorry this took so long, I have been sick!  Not beta-read. Summary: Accompanying Steve on this mission had to be the stupidest thing I’d done in my time in the past. I’d been out of action for so long, I was worried I’d lost some nerve. 

Warnings: Some cursing; violence. 

Rating: T (this may change)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

“Have you ever handled a weapon?” Peggy asked. Though yelled over the roar of the engine, it was calm, matter of fact. There wasn’t any judgement in her tone, like there had been from Stark, and would’ve been from Colonel Phillips.

“Yes,” I said honestly. I could feel Steve’s eyes on me, but I focused more on the piece Peggy handed me. Peggy glanced between me and Steve before she turned back to the map she’d brought on the plane with her, flipping it around to show us.

“The HYDRA camp is in Krausberg, tucked between these two mountain ranges. It’s a factory of some kind.”

“We should be able to drop you right on the doorstep,“ Howard called back to us. Peggy excused herself, getting up to speak with Howard. I recognized the make and model of the gun Peggy had handed me: a Browning Hi Power. I’d only handled one once before, but I know the feel well enough. I leaned back, huffing out a breath and looking out one of the small plane windows. Steve was still staring at me. “You should stay on the plane,” He said. My head whipped around to stare at him. “No. No, I’m not going back with them.” “I don’t know what we’re gonna be walking into.” “All the more reason for you to have backup on the ground. You’re not going to talk me out of this.” His mouth twisted into a stern frown. “When have you handled a weapon before?”

I looked away from him, shaking my head as I tucked the gun into the back waistband of my pants. “There’s a lot that you don’t know about me, Steve.” 

Peggy returned, passing the both of us our parachutes. I pulled mine on, buckling it up. Steve glanced up at her before peering forward, looking at Howard. “You know, you two are gonna be in a lot of trouble at the lab,” He said. “And you two won’t?” Peggy retorted. I tuned them out, looking back outside. Accompanying Steve on this mission had to be the stupidest thing I’d done in my time in the past. I’d been out of action for so long, I was worried I’d lost some nerve. My head snapped up as the plane was rocked by enemy fire. I saw Steve stand and head for the door of the plane. I turned to get one look at Peggy and Howard, in case it was my last. Peggy offered me a reassuring smile and I nodded back before jumping out of the plane after Steve. I could hear the wind rushing past my ears, the blast of detonations all around us. I got flashes of Steve’s parachute illuminated by the explosions as we sailed toward the treetops. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for impact.

—

Steve and I trudged through the forest, eyeing the fence outside the Krausberg camp. The front of the facility was gated; a sloth-like search light lighting up the opposite side of the fence. I turned my head at the sound of trucks before I reached out, gently pulling Steve to crouch beside me behind a tree. A line of vehicles were headed for the camp gates. I glanced over at Steve. “You thinking what I’m thinking?” I murmured. He nodded. “Let’s go.” Steve took hold of my hand, gripping my hand. We ran for the last truck in the procession, leaping through the canvas-covered back and sagging back against the inside… Only to be met by two Hydra officers. “Great,” I commented. “Fellas,” Steve greeted, looking between them. The Hydra officers lunged at us and Steve and I; we met them in the middle. Steve lifted one by the shirt, slamming him into the top of the vehicle. I leaned out of the way of the soldier’s punch, catching him by the arm and whirling us around. It only took one well-aimed kick to his chest to send him hurling out of the vehicle; Steve’s was thrown out not far behind. I crouched down, inspecting the contents of the truck. “What is it?” Steve asked. “Munitions, mostly,” I said. I wobbled as the truck reversed slowly. Steve took my hand, pulling me to crouch behind him as he brought his shield up to hide both of us. Once the docking agent was dispatched, we climbed out of the truck. We were quiet, moving as one was we crept through the grounds. I could feel my heart pounding as I climbed atop a tank ahead of Steve, sprinting along the roof and praying wee wouldn’t be seen.

The guards were dispatched between us; I knew I had a limited amount of ammo, to be used in the worst case scenario. The sound of gunfire would surely draw the attention of other soldiers. “What is that?” Steve murmured. I looked around as he stepped out from behind our cover. There were a number of glowing devices on the table. “I don’t know,” I said, following him out when the coast was clear. Steve glanced around before taking one, tucking it into his pocket. “Maybe Stark’ll have an idea. Come on.” —

“Who are you?” The soldiers we’d found were in considerably better condition than I expected. “I’m… Captain America,” Steve said, unsure of himself. I snorted, unhooking the guard’s keys from his best and straightening. We unlocked the cells, looking for Bucky and doing our best to hush the murmur of confused voices around us. “You see ‘im?” Steve asked. I shook my head, turning back to him. My stomach twisted with concern, but I did my best to force it down. Surely my involvement couldn’t have led to this— Bucky had to be here somewhere. “We’re looking for a Sergeant James Barnes,” Steve said, turning back to the others. “There’s an isolation ward in the factory, but no one’s ever come back from it,” a Brit spoke up. I nodded. “First time for everything, right?”

—

The desertion in the halls was eery— like stumbling across an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. My overwhelming feeling that I shouldn’t be there was overpowered only by faith in Steve, and our need to get Bucky out. Steve was far ahead of me, but I stopped beside a hallway, hearing a man groaning not too far off. “Steve,” I hissed, waving him back. He followed me, and we rounded the corner into an examination room. I could her him before I could see him: a tired urge of a mumble: “Sergeant... 32557.” Steve and I rounded either side of the examination table. “Bucky,” Steve breathed out. I shook my head, working at the straps holding his wrists as Steve ripped off the ones that had pinned his legs. Bucky looked between us, stunned for a moment, like we were ghosts, until I rested my hand on his cheek. “Is— Is that—?” “It’s us,” I said softly, “It’s me and Steve.” “Come on,” Steve urged. We each took an arm, helping Bucky up. “Thought you were dead,” Steve sighed, relief in his tone. Bucky blinked dazedly for a moment, “Thought you were smaller.”

I wrapped my arm around Bucky’s middle. “We’ve gotta go.” Steve’s eyes were caught on something in the corner of the room, something I couldn’t see. “Steve, now,” I said firmly as the sound of gunfire outside grew louder and more rapid. He nodded, looping his arm around Bucky before the three of us headed out of the room.

— The factory below us was descending into chaos. There was no way we could escape through the entrances we’d used; the only way to go was up. Steve led the way and I brought up the rear, not wanting to lose track of Bucky in the chaos. “There,” Steve pointed out as we reached the next level— there was a bridge to cross. But there were people on the other side. “Captain America!” A mocking voice with a German accent rang out across the deck, and we slowed our pace. My hand moved to the gun in my waistband, keeping Bucky behind me. “How exciting! I am a great fan of your films,” The man went on, moving closer to the crossing. “Films?” I heard Bucky mumble behind me. “Steve, don’t,” I hissed as Steve stepped onto the bridge with the German. “So, Dr. Erskine managed it after all.” My blood ran cold. Of course. This was Doctor Johann Schmidt. “Not exactly an improvement, but still impressive,” Schmidt went on. Steve punched him, sending him stumbling back roughly. “You got no idea,” Steve said coldly. Schmidt straightened up, and Steve brought his shield up just in time to block the oncoming punch. “Haven’t I?” Steve reached for his gun, but not fast enough. It skittered over the side of the walkway as Schmidt advanced. Steve kicked him square in the chest, sending Schmidt flying back. A man on the other side of the walkway pulled a level, causing the walkway to retract, and leaving a chasm between us and our only escape. I reached out, gripping Steve’s jacket as if he’d make a run for it if I didn’t hold on. “No matter what lies Erskine told you, you see I was his greatest success!” Schmidt yelled from the other side. My jaw dropped as Schmidt peeled a mask off, revealing a red skull. “Holy…” I breathed. “You don’t have one of those, do you?” Bucky asked. “You are deluded, Captain. You pretend to be a simple soldier, but in reality you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind. Unlike you, I embrace it proudly. Without fear!” “Then how come you’re running?” Steve yelled back. I turned my head to look at him, unable to help the fond smile that spread across my face, though it was at an entirely inappropriate time. No matter what, he was still that kid from Brooklyn. I shielded my face from another blast, this one closer than the others before it. “Now what?” I asked, looking around. Steve spotted a catwalk and nodded to it before he gripped Bucky’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s go!” I stared at the catwalk with trepidation, my stomach churning. 

Everyone, when they’re a kid, walks along low walls or curb edges, one foot in front of the other, arms out for balance. I’d never been able to get more than a few steps in before I’d tumble down and hit the pavement. Mine was a childhood of wobbly legs and skinned knees. This was not a low wall. This was a metal catwalk at least a hundred feet in the air over an imploding factory.   “Oh, god the floor is lava,” I mumbled shakily. “What?” Bucky asked, frowning and turning to look at me. I shook my head. “Nothing,” I squeaked. “You first,” Steve urged. I whipped my head around to look at him. “W-What? No. No no, Bucky first—“ “You first,” Bucky agreed. I turned to look between them, jaw clenching. We didn’t have time to argue. I turned back to the catwalk, taking a shaky breath. I held tightly to the guard rail as I stepped over, setting both feet down on the walk. I had to side-step it. I could not look down. I couldn’t focus on the explosions around me, on Bucky and Steve behind me. All I could focus on was the other side. I faltered at the midway point, arms windmilling to keep my balance as the walk shook. I managed to run the last few feet and steady myself on the side rail before I turned back to Bucky. “Come on!” I yelled, eyeing the chaos below us. Bucky, while nervous, was more sure-footed than I had been, taking steady, even steps. The gantry’s mooring faltered, and my stomach clenched as Bucky edged closer. He, too, ran the last few yards, jumping and clinging to the railing as the gantry collapsed, falling below. I pulled Bucky up and over the railing, staring back at Steve. I looked around the catwalk. “What are you doing, go!” Steve yelled. “There’s gotta be a rope or something!” Bucky yelled back. “Just go, get out of here!” Steve yelled.   “No!” I snapped as Bucky yelled, “Not without you!” Steve looked around for a moment before he eyed the space between us. Bucky and I watched as he backed up. “Is he gonna…?” Bucky asked. “Son of a bitch,” I groaned, gripping Bucky’s arm and tugging him to the side to clear a runway for Steve. I saw him run, and leap. There was an explosion below and I lost sight of him for a moment before he landed with a ‘thud’ against the railing. I straightened, grabbing his shoulder and helping him over to our side. “Holy shit—“ Bucky gripped Steve’s arm.

“We have to go, we have to go now,” I urged, leading the way down the steps. — The other soldiers cheered when we reached the tree line. “We thought you were a goner, Cap,” one laughed, clapping Steve’s arm. “So did we,” Bucky grumbled. I gave him a light squeeze. “Can’t relax yet. We’ve got a long walk ahead of us.” Bucky and I joined Steve at the front, leading the others back to base camp. Steve and I filled Bucky in on what we could on our way: the experiment, the tours, the films. He took in what he could, but I could see there were still a few hang-ups. He was troubled. I pushed my worry down for the time being— there was nothing that we could do in the middle of the forrest in the middle of the night, with the possibility of being ambushed. We walked though the night and into the day, out of Hydra territory and back to camp. We flooded in with the rest of the 107th, afforded a hero’s welcome as we came in. Phillips and Peggy met us in the middle of the action. Phillips was hard to read, but Peggy looked elated. Steve gave the Colonel of stiff salute. “Some of these men need medical attention.” He paused, then, “I’d like to surrender myself for disciplinary action.” Phillips didn’t answer for a moment. “That won’t be necessary.” “Yes sir.”

Phillips stepped away, and I watched him go before I glanced over to see Peggy approaching us.

“You’re late,” She said, looking between myself and Steve. Steve reached into his jacket, pulling out his broken radio out. “Couldn’t call my ride.” I snorted, shaking my head. “Maybe I ought to give you the radio next time,” Peggy added, turning to me. I nodded smiling. “I think that would be best.” I reached into my waistband, pulling the gun out and making to hand it back,  but she waved me off. “Keep it. You may need it.” I nodded my gratitude, tucking it back. “Thank you, Agent Carter.” “Hey!” Steve and I turned as Bucky yelled. “Let’s hear it for Captain America!”

The soldiers around us erupted into applause. I looked around as some reached out to patted Steve shoulder. Steve smiled at Bucky, who smiled back at him. But I saw, as Steve looked away, Bucky’s smile drop. His lips flattened into an uneasy line, and his eyes darkened. 

I knew Bucky well enough. This was the look he got when he saw Steve hurt badly, or didn’t know where the other had gotten off to after running his mouth off. This was fear. Tag list: @gloryevans @redryderdesigns @winter-scolder @aactuaaltraash @secretagentben @staplerrrr@moli1497@adayinmymeadow  @allonszassbutt @mannls @witch-of-letters

[parachutingkitten]

Dear Ninjago: Stop It With The Twists Already

An essay by Parachutingkitten

JK! This isn’t that formal. But I do have some lengthy points for you under the cut :)

Ninjago started out with a twist. The whole first season is built around the green ninja twist and the second season kinda subverted the expectation we had built up of Lloyd fighting his dad. This is the last time we had a twist framed as a sort of “big reveal” to both the audience and characters that really served the story in a productive and meaningful way. Let’s look the highlights over the seasons, shall we?

Season 4: Skylor is a villain. This one gets revealed to the audience before the ninja so it’s not really a big reveal twist, more of a suspense thing.

Season 5: Nya is the water ninja, revealed at the beginning of the season and serves more as a development than a twist.

Season 7: Ray and Maya are alive (and aren’t evil... I guess?)! This is our first real stupid twist. And pointless twist. They stick around for the season and then disappear from the show again. This was the first time Ninjago had a twist for twist’s sake. This is the beginning of the problem. 

Season 8: Pixal is Samurai X! Wu is a baby! Harumi is the Quiet One! (I know this one isn’t cannon, but they were troublingly close to including it) Mr. E is Echo! Now, most of these are okay. Just not handled well. This is where the problem becomes evident.

Season 11: Zane is the Ice Emperor. The stupidest twist of them all, and by far handled the poorest.

Now. Why do some of these more recent twists not work? Well, let’s break it down. 

Sometimes the problem is the twist itself. The twist is convoluted, and retcons information we’ve known from before, or has underlying implications that make everything more complicated. Ray and Maya are a perfect example of this. It’s been established since the pilot episode that these two are dead. Kai and Nya grew up on their own. Wu had so much trust in Ray that he gave him the map to the golden weapons. Trying to make us think he was evil was just stupid. Ray and Maya also don’t do that much in the season, besides the whole drama and reveal aspect of the story. You easily could have had them be dead and still get everything done that you needed to plot wise. Maybe have even more time for Nya and Kai to bond as siblings. It just brings up so many questions. Or rather, the one main one of where have they been? Were they really enslaved for ALL THAT TIME?! That’s darker than them just being dead! And to add insult to injury, they don’t show up in the show ever again after this. This twist left no impact on the franchise. It was a complete waste.

Season 8 has a lot of twists, and this introduces the problem of execution. Baby Wu is the one reveal that works. It has proper build up, it makes sense in the narrative, they find out mid season, they piece it together in a pretty mundane scene, and while it is a large reveal moment, the writers assumed you’ve picked up the clues before the ninja have. Compare this to the Pixal reveal. Very similar set up. It ties up a mystery from last season at a similar point in the current season. But the difference is in how they treat it. Pixal has to confess to being Samurai X. No one figures it out. Everyone is shocked and surprised and it culminates in a big dramatic “how could you?! *gasp emoji*” fight scene. I’m sure most everyone knew Pixal was Samurai X even back in season 7. She disappears right as Samurai X enters the picture, it’s really not that hard to piece together. This should have been handled differently. The audience should have been told Pixal was Samurai X ahead of time. We should have gotten a few shots from her perspective. It should have been handled like, oh, idk, Nya’s reveal in season 1. The problem is that they kept it a secret to go for shock value even though it was an easy guess. It would have been much more character enriching if they just handled it like they did baby Wu. Harumi is a little more complicated. Technically, you could argue that her arc goes through season 9, and hence we did get the reveal mid story, even if not mid season. My problem is that before the reveal she’s just such a blah-bland character that you don’t really care about that much, so when the reveal happens, that’s the point where she gets interesting. Why waste the majority of a season carrying around this dead weight that you feel obligated to give screen time to while waiting for her to get interesting? So yeah, it could have been handled a lot better, but it’s nothing compared to the mind bending twist that almost happened.

Mr. E is Echo makes no sense. It just doesn’t. It’s a character from 2 seasons prior who was physically distant to the main cast, had no connection to the villains, was established as a character as being extremely sweet, pure, and kinda ineffective, and probably worst of all, doesn’t have memories of the main cast, and most of them don’t have memories of him. There is just SO MUCH they would have had to explain away. SO MUCH that doesn’t add up. SO MUCH the main cast would have to relearn that it really doesn’t make ANY sense. And what scared me when the season first came out was that it almost made it in to the season. It doesn’t make sense on ANY logical level, so the only reason you would have done this twist is because you thought it was clever and unexpected, and you wanted the shock value. Shock value is the wrong reason to do a twist. 

But they did it again in season 11. They combined all of the problems with all of the previous twists, and mushed them together into the Zane is the Ice Emperor twist. Now, I would like to address @coleisunderrated‘s post about season 11 kinda killing Zane. It’s a good post, and another good lengthy rant to check out after this one if you’re in the mood. But a lot of the claims they made I think kinda missed the point about why this move didn’t work. They said Zane commit genocide (which I guess technically he kinda did, and even the people who were frozen were frozen for years. That's definitely not nothing) and that Zane still had some level of free will, so Vex can’t be an 100% scapegoat.  So because Zane did this horrible thing, there is no chance for him to be redeemed. (Which I kinda see your point, but also, crazy staff that pretty much makes you evil, plus merciless manipulation. Cut him some slack. If Garmadon can be redeemed, so can Zane. Devourer venom and forbidden spinjitzu staff seem to have similar corrupting powers) And though I’d agree that as it stands in the show it feels like they’re ignoring all the awful things Zane’s done and that makes him a kind of a uncomfortable character at the moment- all the set up and what he did is not the problem. The problem is what he didn’t do, and what we didn’t see.

This twist starts at the beginning of the chapter, and finally resolves itself at the very end. The writers obviously thought that Zane being the villain, while having this weird unexplainable time skip made a solid, clever twist. Again, you can tell they were going for shock value and that *gasp emoji* “It’s YOU?!” moment. Problem with that relatively simple set up to keep your twist a secret, is that you now have 20 years of time to account for. Years of people suffering and time skips that are addressed, but are straight up never explained and don’t make any sense when you sit down to think about them for more than a second. These weird ripple effects ringing a bell? They’re the same sorts of retcon problems as the Ray and Maya twist. But that’s not all. It’s also frustratingly predictable. Even if you weren’t sure of your theory the first few episodes, it becomes increasingly clear as the season progresses. The audience doesn’t find out until the characters do, even thought it’s pretty predictable, missing out on a bunch of opportunities for better storytelling- just like the Samurai X reveal. The ice emperor is also kind of a boring character until the reveal, just like Harumi. And, maybe worst of all, it just seems like a clever shock value twist that raises a bunch of questions, doesn’t make sense in character, and needs a ton of explaining, just like the Mr. E scenario. This twist has every single problem I’ve ever had with any twist in this series. 

But it even adds one more.

Even with all the random nonsensical twists in the series, at least all of them had time to resolve. To be explained. For characters to grapple with them. As random and poorly thought out as this ice emperor twist is, it would have been okay if it hadn’t been so very VERY rushed after the reveal. We needed to see his reaction after breaking free. That’s all we needed. 

Imagine this, Zane breaks out of his evil daze, you can keep the kinda cop out reason, it’s a kid’s show, whatever. He looks down at himself and is horrified. He drops to his knees, mutters some line like “what have I done?” or something along those lines. Then, in anger, he looks back up at Vex, and then insert fight scene where he saves the day. Afterwards Zane tosses the staff away, and is in this weird daze as his friends welcome him back. The episode ends with the camera zooming in on Zane’s blank expression. But wait, there’s another episode afterwards where Zane can right his wrongs in the realm, talk with the people, and tie up all the other loose ends while finding himself again. The next season (and they might still be doing this in season 12, but without that initial reaction and remorse, this part rings kinda hollow) Zane is visibly a bit shaken by intense violence and has a talk with someone about the lasting effects of his 20 year rule. The end of the season sees him getting past this fear of hurting people in order to protect those he needs to. This all sounds very deep written out like this, but you could make the dilemma pretty surface level, and it would still be effective.

You see, the real problem with these half length episodes is that ALL of your plot lines have to reach their head, your big final battle has to take place, and your resolution has to happen, all in the last 10 minutes of the season. And you can really tell that season 11 skimped the resolution part. Because Zane only becomes Zane half way through the last episode, there’s no time to explore his feelings about the matter. Even just making the last episode 20 minutes, I feel, would have done wonders for this twist because everything would have had time to breath. This wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if this had carried over directly into season 12 (kind of like the season 8-9 thing) but that clearly isn’t the case, at least from the episodes we have so far. This emperor thing should affect Zane as much as becoming a ghost affected Cole. Things like this just need time to process. It wasn’t that making Zane the ice emperor made him unlikable, it was that ignoring that Zane was the ice emperor made him unlikable.

And all of these things, I can almost guarantee, happened because the writers just thought it would be a clever twist. It’s not like the writers can’t do twists! Skylor being evil was perfectly fine! Mistake being an Oni was even okay. But they had ideas for what to do with those bits of information after the reveal. They’ve got to stop with these reveals that are just there to be the *gasp emoji* moment. They’re not all bad ideas necessarily! But if you come up with the idea, just because it would be a cool reveal, and that’s it, then it’s likely not a good idea. For example, as nonsensical as the Echo thing is, if he had become a main stay of the series, and a reoccurring villain with backstory and motive that got explained, it might not have been the absolute worst. But if they did what they did in the show and just killed him off a few episodes later, it would have been pointless, because the twist would have made no impact, changed nothing, and had no point. The green ninja reveal was good, not because it was a reveal, but because it allowed Lloyd to be the green ninja in the episodes afterwards. It served as a progression for the story and characters while also happening to subvert this notion set up from episode 1 that one of the four would be the green ninja. Zane being the ice emperor is a bad twist because it affects absolutely nothing in the plot that follows. Zane is back to his happy quirky robot self in season 12, the status quo is restored, and nothing has changed. 

The whole point of a twist is to switch your perspective of something, an action that instinctively insists change. A change in the world. A change in the situation. A change in character. Something. If a twist doesn’t insight change in your story, you’re doing your twist wrong.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to agree/disagree with me in the comments. I get that not everyone is going to agree that Zane could be redeemed no matter how they played it. Again, I think the almost mind control staff, matched with the manipulation, mind wipe, and fact that it’s a kid’s show, and they obviously didn’t mean for it to read that way, is enough for me to kinda ignore it cuz I love Zane, and Ninjago, and I’m not going to let one misstep kill my enjoyment of the show. But, I get it if you can’t get past it.

ttfn!

[repeterwiggin]

i decided to make notes as I watched POF (SVSR) for the second time and damn. it’s just as much of a rollercoaster even when you know what’s coming (warning this is long there’s a lot going on)

- wild to me how we jump straight in!

- lee & mary lee are adorable & also thomas at the wedding is a Mood literally me at all my friends weddings

- the flashback breaks my heart,

- Patton is still a really good trier... he’s so good and he tries so hard and I love him

- the way thomas rips off his suit jacket...

- the song that isn’t sung!

- Patton says “we four helped you” but there were five sides in svs hmm I feel like that’s probably significant in some way

- the ace attorney ref makes me very happy! there was a secret path of me hoping for for a professor layton reference but this is ehhhh kinda close?

- the fact that the first thing they say is “why didn’t we talk to lee and mary lee” like. yeah!!

- WE SHOULD START LOOKING I TO WAYS TO PREDICT THE FUTURE! he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

- patton and roman bffs!!

- feral cats,,, what a tangent i stan roman

- I like that we get some more context to the invite as well, like being asked face to face does add another element to the dilemma

- Dame Judy Dench = Queen Groovy Bench I see you using those Good Place swears, Roman

- “maybe they ... feel guilty” is like. I get where you’re coming from Patton but talking to them should’ve been step one imo like. I have been to lots of friends weddings and talking to them is important

- “I’m not sure there was a good ending to get” ... “for he’s a jolly good fellow!”

- them calling Patton out for how critical he’s been!!! very important!!! and I appreciate that Patton is trying “I’m just trying to help you be a good as you can be!” he still has more to learn but still im love him

- the bagel callback lol

- GameStore instead of GameStop lol Patton

- FROGGER

- “he eats fly for breakfast”

- We’re ten minutes in and there’s already so much going on

- Also I just want to appreciate that thomas is such a good actor I can tell which side is speaking just from their voice like the cadence is different and they way they say words ahhh it’s something I’ve thought about before but it’s really hitting me with these voice over segments

- Leslie Odom Jr lol if only we’d known

- The Pokemon battle format is so good and I love that it’s being used for a “do you give money to a homeless actor”

- The hotdog puns....

- Logan’s Lowdown!!!

- Roman mouthing “behoove” to Patton is very cute but I feel bad for Logan :(

- Pixel Logan is adorable

- The fact that roman immediately goes “ignorant” breaks my heart listen to logan!!! please!!!!

- Patton trying to soften his thoughts is kind of painful to watch

- “As long as that’s not the main reason you’re doing it!” Patton no,,,,,,,,

- Roman needs to be listened to more he looks so defeated when Patton doesn’t agree with him and only continues after serious prompting I feel like he’s been ignored too many times lately I’m very excited for a roman arc :((

- “Leslie Odom Jr’s....literal cake that he baked!!!”

- Logan’s fun fact popping up in the mario scene!! that’s my boy!!!

- Also the fact that roman is immediately painting deceit as the bad guy after they spent all of svs getting along......like, I feel like after the other sides decided that deceit wasn’t at all genuine or looking out for thomas’ best interests roman did a full 180* on him which makes sense for romans character but is also kinda depressing bc in is lying okay? and svs he was like “oh he’s not that bad!!” And now he’s like “scute bellied tyrant!!” damn

- Patton let’s him talk and then immediately is like “uuuuh no” yikes

- Roman targets all his insults at deceit and very carefully avoids being even playfully rude to anyone else hmm I really do think he’s trying to “make up” for siding with deceit last time and in the end it doesn’t even matter :((( bc he still feels like he’s disappointing people

- Roman seems like he’s genuinely trying to understand and Patton is really struggling to articulate his thoughts and that creates such a good conflict between the two bc it’s not like theyre really against each other it’s just solid interpersonal difference. or intrapersonal I guess

- The trolley problem!!!! A classic I love it

- The way it’s animated too is so good... the “Thomas is full of dread” the way the music cuts when the train appears how it cuts right before the train hits “is it over” ahhhhhh

- Also Leslie Odom Jr again lol

- “Maybe don’t depict scenarios where my friends die” and then later Patton is specifically like “it’s lee and mary lee!!!” lol wild

- “You know we don’t like to use the T word!!!” GREAT little aside

- “So it’s the how that matters” “yeah... and the why!!!” patton baby you’re trying so hard and I love you but it’s okay. you don’t need to have all the answers. you can just not know! I promise it’s alright!

- Thomas face after Patton brings up the “figment of your imagination” things KILLS ME

- I actually disagree with Thomas on the “putting more good into the world” as not being a compelling answer BUT I think that Patton is overlooking how feeling good/having positive emotions attached with those actions IS directly putting more good into the world. like, if doing good makes you feel good, that’s a good thing!! idk

- Logan disagreeing with Patton was good and we all know logan is my favourite but I think he could’ve handled that a little better

- PATTON HITTING SKIP ALL..... sweetie no :((

- everyone has already said this but that cane is the snake boy

- Roman even pulls back the insults on a philosopher who is not there

- Also Roman being like “your desires are getting in the way” again bc he feels like he’s not being listened to or appreciated bc there’s something about him that’s “wrong” and trying to shoulder the blame bc he feels bad that his desires (success, fame, love, appreciation) are inherently selfish :(((

- “that is the stupidest thing you’ve ever said” right sentiment, terrible delivery

- the way roman says “you’re just blowing smoke” is a Lot and very much like his fishing for validation but I don’t blame him for it, after what he’s just admitted it’s truly understandable that he needs that validation

- Thomas’ point about feelings motivating him is REALLY good bc we are all motivated by our emotions

- “Doing nothing is even worse!” i mean you’re not wrong but not in the way you think,,

- Logan/Deceit (I do think it’s deceit at this point) using the oxygen mask metaphor is really great to me!!! I love that metaphor & I was going to be a flight attendant so it’s something I thought about a lot. I’ll talk about it more when Deceit brings it up again lol

- “Uuuh I do need help” mood thomas mood

- “Temporarily put himself first” oof

- “It’s easy to say what we would hypothetically do...” hard agree

- Watching logan/deceit huff and roll his eyes solidifies for me that it is deceit like something about it feels unlike Logan lol I can’t explain why

- Roman nodding along with the explanation of why leisure is important makes me very happy

- “Oh is it not? Please correct me if I’m wrong” and the way the sprite pressing further and further and being more expressive with his hands and eyebrows like damn. that’s deceit!!

- Patton’s breakdown is Iconic I love the glitching and the way it zooms out to show the layout of the living room and the way he explodes ahhhhhhh so good

- why does the frog have abs that’s my one question

- lilypadton ahdhajfka I love it

- DECEIT EX MACINA THE REVEAL IS SO GOOD as soon as he started punning (cut through this bull...frog) I was like 👀 AND THEN THE LINES AND THE CAPE AND THE LORD OF THE LIES IM HAPOY TO OBLIGE

- “CODE YELLOW”

- the deceit sprite is so cute :))))

- Deceit pulling Thomas behind him we have to stan

- “Richer than Jeff Bozos” I LOVE that roman I love you

- Deceit calling him out and the way the words themselves turn into attacks is such a fun detail

- Frog Patton still punning even in serious moments is so on brand

- Deceit dodging while thomas gets hit is a solid metaphor

- “The plane is going down, you need to give thomas some room to breathe” oof like it needed to be said but oof

- The health bars changing to “Thomas’ mental health” OOF LADS WE’RE REALLY IN IT NOW

- the way thomas looks when he steps back into frame cracks me up

- “We can still beat him! We’ve beaten him before!” oh roman, but it’s not a fight against deceit :((

- the snakes on the plane ref lmao “I’m sick of this morality fighting snake on this metaphorical plane” whoever wrote that line... I want to give them a high five truly iconic

- Deceit is so much more playful and showing more diverse personality in this ep and I’m living for it

- final fantasy!! the og version turn by turn which is what I like to play lol also the villain they’re fighting kinda looks like Virgil and idk how to feel about that

- Deceit looking away as soon as logan pops up lmaoooooo

- “Not that any of you care...” logan baby no!!!!! I care!!!!

- Effective Altruism explanation and Logan making a point to go “it employs the heart and the mind” like ... reminding Patton that they need to work together and they’re on the same side I’m soft

- Deceit and Logan agreeing warms my heart they’re both so good and ahhhh

- “Emphasis on the ‘sometimes’ though, right?” “Yeah sure whatever — I mean yes! Of course!”

- I also love how deceit addresses thomas directly they don’t do that a lot but it makes sense cause deceit is really trying to persevere thomas’ self

- Him calling roman noble and roman not believing it :((( deceit trying to be honest and ahhhhh I’m so sad

- “Selflessness isn’t always the answer” which was exactly what svs was supposed to be about

- “What do you almost all things?” “Oh you’re right we wouldn’t want to plant too many trees, imagine how much CO2 might absorbed”

- lmao why am I so impressed by Roman’s deceit impression when they’re literally the same person

- roman flipping out and attacking deceit is a Big Yikes but it’s totally in character bc roman has always been black and white even more so than Patton and it’s been building to an arc for a loooong time so I’m very excited

- Deceit taking off his glove.... saying his name......... I can’t process this

- JANUS!!!!!!!!!! It’s so good it’s perfect I love it I love him

- roman immediately laughing yikesssss

- “Oh roman thank god you don’t have a moustache otherwise between you and remus I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is” YIKESSS but also valid deceit is at a breaking point

- “I thought I was your hero” “you are!”

- I’m going to be thinking about deceit’s—JANUS’S—nod for a long time....was he agreeing with Thomas or was he saying that Thomas was lying ahhhhhhh

- “Everything’s going to be okay. We love you.” “...right” AH MY HEART

- I want to give roman a hug

- Patton asking Janus for advice like right away and Janus not being great at first but coming around quickly with the ever true “it depends” like I love the two of them together the DYNAMIC POTENTIAL

- Janus does seem fond of Patton which is cute I can’t wait for everyone to be friends again lol

- ACTUAL LESLIE ODOM JR I CANNOT

- how did they make that happen,,,, how wild

- the clapping

- “This sanders sides not odom sides,, I’m not threatened at all” that is, somehow, a mood

- “don’t kill, don’t steal, easy conclusions to come to” “even those can get iffy” “I don’t want to think about that... but maybe that proves my point!” you what we call that? growth

- “Giving too simple answers to complicated questions can do more harm than good” “mmhmm”

- “So I’m sorry! Again!” Poor boy is trying to hard and I love him :((( so much <3333

- “Oh yeah that’s cool, talk about me like I’m not here” I love you Janus!!!”

- “I’ll take care of him” and then immediately joking around and trying to make thomas laugh is very cute thomas needed something lighthearted after all of that ahhh

- “You’re not stuck with an EVIL snake boy...you’re just stuck with a snake boy!!” I LOVE YOU JANUS what an adorable nerd I would die for him

- and how excited he gets about being called right he deserves it

- “I love how much you like these constant dilemmas so please keep overthinking things” you know what I needed to hear that man

- “You can’t get doing good down to a science” WORD

- the message of treating yourself well & finding the right balance between that and doing good for others being a personal thing is very good and much needed

- Lee and Mary Lee are onscreen for like 3 minutes and I love them so much

- “So this is what you do for a living? Comedy?” “Yeah I’m a hack”

- Patton and Janus chilling on the same screen... I adore them

- “Seems like things worked out after all... I was wrong about everything!” “You and I both know that’s not true” and Patton’s soft little smile I love them!!!!

- “Odom sides would cool!” like actual Leslie Odom Jr said that.... I’m shook

- okay that’s the end it’s just as much a rollercoaster the second time around no I am not okay, thank you for your time

[ao3feed-merlinarthur]

by Rona23

Merlin would have expected his magic would be revealed in some epic life or death scenario. Not for something so mundane.

“You know what. Yes. I do confess I have magic.”, Merlin said. And suddenly the room was silent. Honestly, why were they surprised? He was just condemned to death for sorcery.[...] "No. Gaius didn't know.. [....] In fact, I've been very careful hiding my secret from all of you. [...] Which is why this is the stupidest thing I have EVER heard!”, Merlin shook of the knights hand, as he stepped forward to the king. Like a mad man. To be fair, he was a little mad.

“Burned... for heating tea.”, Merlin shook his head. [...] "How fucked up is that?!"

 Alternatively: what if Merlin was actually condemned to be executed but just decided to -not let them do that.

Words: 7628, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 25 of Merlin´s magic

Fandoms: Merlin (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Uther Pendragon, Uther, Arthur, Merlin, Gwen (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Random Knights

Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gaius & Uther (Merlin)

Additional Tags: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Uther Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Merlin is a Little Shit, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Finds Out About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Merlin (Merlin), Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Insults, rated for blood and curses, four language, Merlin keeps saying fuck, that is the Merlin we all need, don't be afraid of the character death, spoiler: it's a character you like seeing dead, i'm saying that because, saying it's a canon character death is too vague, too many people died in merlin, I keep tagging, How Do I Tag, Sorry Not Sorry

[rainbow-filmnerd]

Another Top 5 Favorite Sanders Sides Videos (3/5)

In honor of the one-year anniversary of me watching Sanders Sides for the first time and becoming a Fander, I’ve decided to count down ANOTHER Top 5 Favorite Sanders Sides videos! If you didn’t see a video you think I should have discussed, be sure to check out the first list!

#3 is... “Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux”

GENERAL THOUGHTS

This one ranked a little lower because of two reasons. First, I was kinda missing Virgil, but that’s just me being picky about wanting my favorite Side to appear. And second, I had a bit of trouble processing everything after the video was over. So much has happened, and I couldn’t register everything from the first half of the video as I watched the second half. XD

However, despite that, it was such a great episode! A lot of emotional moments will likely be addressed in future episodes, and from my understanding, there’s only a couple left in this second season. I really did admire the fact that some of the scenes were parallels to SvS. Just overall, one heck of a doozy!

FAVORITE PARTS/LINES OF DIALOGUE (in no particular order)

That 8-bit video game art. John Stratman, that work that was put into this video to bring the video game aspect of it to life was AMAZING!

All the cameos of Leslie Odom, Jr. Now, I’ve never seen or heard Hamilton, but I think it’s cool that Thomas got him to be featured in this video.

All the “F” jokes and f-bomb teases. Also, I like the gold coin as the censor beep.

“I don’t want Thomas to croak! That’s my job.” *croaks*

Janus’s name reveal. Not something I saw coming, but what kinda threw me off was Roman’s reaction. But that was because I didn’t realize that it was “Janus”, the two-faced Roman God, and not “Janice”, the Friends character portrayed by Maggie Wheeler.

Janus snapping back wasn’t any better, but it was still an impactful moment.

“We should start looking into ways to PREDICT THE FUTURE!!!” “No!” And then whatever Roman said in that voice.

“Video games mean so much indoor time, that they should cause a little OUTDOOR time! Don’t you think?” “Ehhh…”

Patton hopping aboard on the “taking terms too literally” train after Roman asked Thomas who “gave him the jump” when his car broke down.

“Okay... I understand, now, that I have been.... a little-.” “Much?” “The mayor of Much-kin Land?” “... Sure.”

Patton and Janus’s interaction at the endcard scene.

Janus’s  “Ah, d-d-d-d-DOY!”

“Jesus Christ Superstar!” That just reminds me of my Dad, because he likes that musical.

“Roman... I only mean well when I say... that is the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.”

The 8-bit video game music. From the theme song, to the main score for the characters. I love that detail.

“He’s the actual snake on the plane! And I, for one, am tired of this MORALITY-FIGHTING snake on this METHAPORICAL plane!”

Patton calling out Thomas for not getting up sharp by calling it, “6am dull”.

“By the liquid lipstick of William Shakespeare...”

Roman’s cat-filled apartment scenario.

“Especially to Mrs. Snuffles. More like Mrs. Sniffles! Because of the allergy...”

Just the overall video game theme in this video. I got a few of the game references, but not all of them. I don’t really play video games. :P

“I mean... there’s an obvious right answer here.” “Please don’t tell me you’re going to wrestle Tony award-winning actor Leslie Odom, Jr. for a hot dog.” “What?! No! I’m going about my day!”

All the callbacks and references to Thomas’s works and the little cameos of his friends!

“Well, when is it enough?!” “.... Trees?” “No! Selfishness!”

Patton having his eyes closed when he says that “doing nothing is worse than doing something good for the wrong reasons”.

“Like, you’re such a Dad that it’s too much to handle sometimes.”

Janus’ entrance/reveal in this video. I think it’s my favorite entrance of his of the series.

“Ooooh! Ooooh! Reptilian Rapscallion! Reptilian Rapscallion! We got a Code Yellow!”

Patton misusing “factoid”.

“People are being hurt by this reptilian with scallions.” “No.”

Janus before he sank out. I am still a little wary about him, but oh my gosh, he was a complete DORK in that scene.

“Don’t make me regret trusting you! I don’t want to be stuck with an evil snake boy!” “You’re not stuck with an evil snake boy.... You’re just stuck with a snake boy.”

Roman trying to read the text on Logan’s Lowdowns, but it goes by too quickly. Every gamer’s struggle.

“Sometimes, we get this.” “A bagel?!” What?! No. Maybe.” I didn’t realize it was a parallel to the Valentine’s Day video, but it’s still silly.

Logan’s Nietzsche impression.

“He does have a stu-uper duper unique mustache.”

Every time we get to see one of “Logan’s Lowdowns”. Felt kinda sad that he feels like he could be a bother, but it was still cute to see an 8-bit Logan (and Janus disguised as Logan).

“I think I understand what it means... Deceit being a part of me.” “That’s cool, talk about me like I’m not here.”

Roman’s exit is HEARTBREAKING!!!

Logan’s “I’m so f**king done” face when Thomas said he “wouldn’t be wrestling Logan for a hot dog”.

Patton’s breakdown. The entire scene and the transtitions.

“So, that rule trumps the other rule?” “Roman!” “Eh?!” “You know we don’t like to use the “T” word in this house.” “Oh, sorry!”

Roman mouthing, “behooved”.

“Three out of four of those are normal for me... Do I have hypoxia right now?”

Thomas’s score (80085) and time (limited/being lost/poorly spent), and the 8-bit portrait of Janus.

“I don’t want to make you think you’re some-.” “Stupid, dirty, rotten, filthy-silly, billy, no-good for nothing, uh, white, urgh, rat-scandrel b*tch!”

We can all agree that the “Rhythm Redux” was a bop. The visuals were amazing to look at, and man, Thomas’s vocals were on point.

Thomas screaming at Lee and Mary Lee and shutting the door at their faces.

“Leslie offers up a reward.” “What’s the reward?” “Leslie’s famous cake!” “Phrasing?” “What? Leslie’s literal cake that he baked! Oh my gosh!”

Roman reaching over the text bar and selecting “ignorant”, and him slicing through the giant text box after it hit Patton. That editing is just well done!

“He didn’t mislead you on purpose, Thomas. I don’t think the little guy-. Or the big frog is capable of that sort of thing.”

Thomas realizing his neck was stiff when he turned to look towards Janus.

“In my head, I’ll just feel this way.” “What way?” “The way a groom might feel if he just watched as his bride ran away.” “... But you’re gay.”

Janus laying down the severity of Thomas’s mental health and the overall message of self care.

Patton’s high-pitched “Right?” sounds like a little dog bark.