#strugglesofanexmuslim

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So Ramadan is coming up

With Ramadan approaching, I thought to make a little post about tips and tricks for getting through Ramadan for the ex Muslim. I should say that these tips and tricks don't work for everyone. You've gotta look at your own family and decide what's best for yourself. 1. Stockpiling. Basically just storing food in your room or your bag or whatever. Chocolate, biscuits, cake. Whatever you fancy and just hiding it away. Avoid things that make a lot of noise. Things that crackle or have loud packaging. So don't eat a big packet of crisps while your entire family is home. Store water too. You can buy a ton of water fairly cheaply. Here in the U.K. in Tescos or something you can get a 2 litre bottle of water for like 50p. 2. Saving up money. This is another great way to get through Ramadan. If you're at school or university or at work. Put some money aside so you can buy food. Grab yourself a sandwich or a drink. If you have maybe classmates or colleagues that are Muslim and can't know you're not one it's worth going out somewhere more secluded to eat. For me personally, there's a nice little park around the corner from my house. No one I know really goes down there so it's a nice place for me to eat if i need to. 3. Be a woman. I'm not one myself but apparently, if you're on your period you don't have to fast. So that can be a good way to get out of it. If your house is mostly men, we tend not to track your monthly cycles so you can extend it to a two week period but don't go overboard with it. Chances are your period will land during Ramadan anyway, if its at the start of the month try to avoid letting people its that time of the month. By that I mean be more discreet when throwing tampons or pads away 4. Fake an illness. We've all done this to get out of school. Everyone has. I've done it myself. It's not difficult to do and they might expect it too. You go from eating several meals a day to having just one big one. Your body is gonna take a bit of a hit. Especially with how dehydrated you can get. Plant the seed the day before and then the next day just stay in bed and groan to make out you're sick. 5. Drink tap water. Hydration is probably the biggest reason fasting during Ramadan is so difficult. You've gotta stay hydrated. If you can't stockpile water or buy it then drink tap water. It's clean and cold. It doesn't smell and there's no evidence if you drink it. Unlike juice or biscuits for example, you can smell it on your breath. You might have crumbs on your shirt, you might've had to throw the bottle away. So tap water is a great alternative. 6. Getting out of taraweh prayers. This is another area I guess being a woman can help. You're not obligated to pray taraweh at night. If you can get away with it, tell your parents that you'll read at home. And then sit in your room and go on tumblr. Like we all do when we pray anyway. If you are made to go to mosque, alone that is. Just don't go to mosque. Go for walks. Maybe see if a friend can come out to hang around with. Pretty much every year there will always be a group teenagers who go to mosque but don't pray. They just stand outside the mosque and smoke. I used to do that all the time. Even when I was Muslim. If your family go with you, it's a little difficult. It's worth using the size of your mosque to your advantage. If it's a big mosque with lots of people, you'll have a better chance of sneaking off, especially if you sit on the opposite end from your family. My dad usually goes with me to taraweh. The mosque we go to is big but there aren't many people there. Most leave after 8 rakats anyway. So what I do is, I make sure he sees me on the opposite end so he knows my whereabouts, and then leave after 2 or 6 rakats, since they read a dua after 4 it's not the best time to leave. Then you can sneak back in when they pray witr and bobs your uncle. Well not bob. Maybe Muhammad is your uncle. 7. Dealing with increased religiosity. This is another difficult thing about Ramadan in general. It turns the wannabe thug Muslims who smoke and drink and sleep around to become scholars. Everyone becomes more religious. It's the holiest month in Islam and honestly, the only way I can see avoiding that, is to either be at home for as little time as possible, and that's about it really. There's no other way to deal with it. You're just gonna have to grow thick skin and deal with it. Now the pressure might get to you and Ramadan is probably gonna be the month where you're most likely to tell people you're no longer Muslim, but don't take that risk. Just deal with it as best as you can. I should mention with some of these tips it all depends on your family. Not all of these work for me myself but they're just little things you can do. Also, try to do these things later on in the month rather than at the start. During the middle and end, people get more tired, they become a little less alert to certain things. Your parents might not care if you spend all day in your room.

[beautiful---nightmare]

Struggles of an ex-Muslim

Something my mum still does is she tries to indoctrinate us. By us I mean me. She’s always coming to me with her religious shit, oh read this, learn that, go to this class, do that. It’s like 85% directed towards me. I’m well past the indoctrination stage anyway, so even if I were Muslim, I wouldn’t fall for her shit anyway, but it’s like so aggressive and rampant. Just today she started shouting because I didn’t sit down and finish my drink off. Like, fuck me do you not see my sister doing the exact same thing?

I don’t know whether she’s doing this out of guilt or because she feels like she’s gone wrong with my brother or something? Because he’s fucked up a lot and he‘s an idiot, so he gets caught all the time, so maybe that’s why? I don't know really. I don’t really care either. It’s gonna come back and bite her on the arse once I finally come out to my parents and I can only imagine how much more rampant it’ll be for my siblings. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

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Something I really hate about Ramadan

I hate lots of things about Ramadan, but one o the worst things has to be the increased religiosity. From one person in particular. You guessed it. My mum. She’s already insanely religious, judgmental, close minded etc as it is but then in Ramadan, it’s like a million times worse. All she ever bangs on about is learning the “deen” and learning about Islam and I just can’t be fucked. But one thing, in particular, cropped up tonight actually. It’s the way my mum thinks we can all play happy families. Just sit at the dining table as a family, and be all fucking happy and clappy and all that other stupid shit. But it’s bullshit. It’s total fucking bollocks. We just sit there quietly eating and then my mum just burst out saying how awful we all are for never “spending time with the family.” It’s like 90% directed towards me, and she doesn’t realise that what she’s doing is the reason none of us sits together. It’s because she can’t go five bloody minutes without yelling or lecturing us all about religion. 

She keeps pushing this happy family idea onto us all and it’s just bullshit. None of us buys into it but she doesn’t stop, and this isn't like me trying to seem a typical teenager who hates his mum or whatever. It’s just tiring to deal with. We don’t get on as a family. No one has anything in common with each other. It’s one of the reasons I dislike Ramadan so much. I’ve still got 28 more days of this shit to go.  

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I swear my mum is the most passive aggressive person in the world. She literally makes me sit and watch or listen to Islamic scholars and shit talk about how kids should respect their parents. It's bad enough her telling me I'm worthless but then she shows me some other 'holier than thou' cunt telling me I'm a shit head too. One time she gave me a fucking 30 page religious book about what will happen to me when I die if I don't respect my parents. She needs to realise I'm 5 years old anymore. Her scare tactics won't work.

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Little struggles of an ex Muslim

Mum: go pray (whatever salah it is)

Me: *goes to 'pray'* *Comes back 10 mins later*

Mum: have you prayed yet?

Me: yes I just finished.

Mum: no you didn't. Go pray now.

Me: *looks blankly*

[beautiful---nightmare]

Little struggles of an ex Muslim

I think I might make these a regular thing. If people end up enjoying them, plus it lets me get shit off my chest.