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lesbianlanarcher · 2 years ago

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just think about it, okay –––

sterling wakes up from his coma, three years of his life gone, he'll never get that back, so he tries not to dwell on it. nor does he wish to dissect his dreams because thinking back to those lives he made up is dangerously close to introspection which he is adamantly against. so, he shifts focus, tries to acclimate himself to whatever his life is now. being alone sucks, sleeping with random women sucks less but that doesn't last, drinking makes him feel worse but he's not ever giving that up for anything. doing everything he used to before is pointless and, plainly, nauseating. he needs people, he’s realised... he needs to feel grounded, needs to hear laughter, needs to be in the centre of a crowded room, needs to feel real again or just feel something again. but he doesn't have many people he can call on to help him out. a stripper isn't gonna solve his problems, bartenders have heard it all before, no one wants to level with him; new york does not care. who's left? his friends, distant colleagues, these people he was forced into a working relationship with all those years ago, the people who have known him the longest, whatever he fuck they are too – they aren't there either.

who does sterling have to help him out when he needs it most? who does his mind go to purely out of instinct? who does he crave when he knows he shouldn’t? who can make him feel both shittier and lift his spirits at the same time? who is unlike anyone else? who will he always want?

“Lana.”

He shouldn’t be doing this.

“I bet you’re busy with that... that... creature.”

But he wants to.

“That bald fuck.”

And he always gets his way.

“Stupid prick.”

He takes a swig of... something. Some random bottle that was hidden right at the back of the drybar because he’s already drowned himself in everything else.

“Or you’re still ignoring my calls.”

It’s been hard adjusting to a life without Woodhouse. Well, it’s been hard adjusting in general. But Woodhouse not being there anymore is the perfectly slick cherry atop the shitheap that is his turd cake of a life. So, it feels apt.

“Which is a shitty thing to do. You know, I just got out of a three-year coma? A coma? You know what one of those are?”

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knows he deserves everything he gets. He’s stacked up a lot of bad karma, it was bound to catch up to him at some point. He just didn’t expect it to feel so... crushing. And he definitely didn’t think his punishment would be this lonesome either.

“Yeah, you know. You just don’t care.”

He thought everyone would be falling through his apartment door to spend time with him, ask him how it felt to be in a coma, show some form of interest in his return.

“And, I mean, why should you?”

It never came.

“It’s not like, hah, it’s not like we have a child together or anything.”

And from her? Nothing. Not a word. He spewed his guts, heart, lungs, intestines, everything... confessed to her at that gala and... nothing.

“Oh, wait, my mistake. We don’t.”

He tried - fuck - he tried to tell her everything he could. Everything he should have told her the very second he knew she was the only thing in his life that held any sort of value. Everything he was capable of saying without choking on the words, without gagging and wanting to throw up, he said it.

“Because she doesn’t even know me. AJ doesn’t know her father.”

But it wasn’t enough.

“Because you replaced me.”

It might not ever be enough.

“Everyone replaced me. Me.”

His words won’t ever be good enough for her.

“Like I never fucking existed in the first place.”

Words are all he has now, as empty as they may seem. Saying it wasn’t easy. Confronting that part of himself, the part that craves and needs and wants her is akin to torture. And Sterling knows torture well. What he doesn’t know is how he can prove that any more; how he can prove himself to her. He’s wronged her in the past, sure, but that doesn’t take away from the fact he loves her. Can’t she see that? That he fucking adores her. That he would do anything for her, that he would die in less than a heartbeat for her, he would give everything up for her to kiss him again.

“Maybe that’s what you all wanted, though? Maybe me being in a coma was the best thing that ever happened to everyone? Maybe...”

And she’s never said it back to him, not once. Perhaps in her actions, like he’s told her again and again just what she means to him, but she has never told him directly. Never said the words. No one has. Not in a manner that means anything substantial, anyway.

“Maybe you should have just pulled the plug.”

Perhaps no one is capable of showing him that affection he so sorely needs. Katya could have... He thought she might have been the only one to rival Lana, the only other woman who could keep him distracted and occupied, but even that was tainted and turned against him. Like most things. Ruined.

“What was the point of keeping me alive?”

So, he figures he’s not meant for it. To be loved. Not meant to be shown that side of life that comes so, so fucking easy for everyone else.

“If I was gonna come back to this? What was the point, Lana?”

He has wealth in an over-abundance, any woman - or man - he wants he could probably get, and endless supply of liquor. He has it all. Doesn’t he?

“You don’t have to give me any real answers,” He laughs, abruptly and slightly manically, “You probably won’t even listen to this,” then, takes another swig of whatever bottle is dangling limply from his hand, “Good, don’t. Save us both the embarrassment. Right? Just ignore it. Like everything else. Ignore me.”

He doesn’t bother to disconnect the voice message, just tightens his hand around the phone until he can feel the muscles in his arm scream out in pain. Fucking nerve damage. Incensed even more, he hurls the device across the room where it smashes against the wall and falls to the floor, partially shattered.

Another apt metaphor, he thinks, the bottle back to his lips, feverishly sucking from it like he’ll get what he needs when he reaches the bottom and drains it.

The truth is, he never will.

But that doesn’t stop him from trying.

#sterling archer #lana kane #archer fx #archer fxx #lanarcher #oopsie im sorry #just needed to get this out my system #and i may or may not be tipsy rn so i thought fuck it #writing #fanfiction #angst #it's okay i can fix him (by making him worse)#never posted my writing on tumblr before so um be nice ?#also have not edited or read this back at all so ya #fanfic

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bastardblvd · 1 year ago

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my babygirl Tengen Uzui is a stripper and Makio, Hinatsuru, and Suma are waitresses at the same club <3 in fact all of the hashira should work at that strip club. Gyomei and Sanemi are bouncers. Mitsuri is a stripper and Obanai is her personal bodyguard. Shinobu and Giyuu are the managers. Rengoku and Muichiro are also strippers <3

aj i would even go as far as challenging you by saying obanai is the stripper and mitsuri is his bodyguard. like he has the whole slithery snake thing going on and she can beat ass

BUT MAKIO HINA AND SUMA AS WAITRESSES FEELS SO SPOT ON LIKE THEY ARE THE BARTENDERS !!!!!

#tengen is the main event #stepdaddy merc #transchainsawman #repeat offenders

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stephsageek · 1 year ago

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In Celebration of Fanfiction Author Appreciation Day, A Master list of all my fics:

Remember, if you like amy of these, feel free to leave some kudos or comments. If you wanna yell at me, it's your blood pressure. I'm just having fun because I own none of this stuff.

"He Sleeps with the Fishes: The Hoffa Job" (ongoing)

My current WIP and the fourth part in "Partners in Time." This features the assassination of famously MIA corrupt Teamster Union President Jimmy Hoffa. Look him up if you've never heard of him. He's something of an urban legend. On this assignment, our heroes venture to 1970s Detroit in order to "dissappear" Mr. Hoffa. Only problem? He's also being pursued by the Italian mob in the form of a couple of queer assassins, a mismatched pair of FBI agents, Hoffa's jilted lover, and somehow a sea monster? This features an established couple in Five/Lila. This fic also has some choice 70s music embedded in it. CW for violence, drug use, explosions, plane crashes, tentacles, car chases, a whole lot of exposition on the mechanics of time travel, and Five being forced to flirt.

"The London Job" (Complete)

This here is my baby and the third in my long series. It features the emotional fallout of Five and Lila finding out the true murderer of Lila's parents. It takes place on an assignment that takes our heroes to 1967 London, where Lila has been led to believe she will find her very much alive birth parents. Too bad nothing the Handler has ever told her seems to be the truth. This does feature Five/Lila but isn't explicit, does address Five being Ace/demi and also depicts a relationship between an actual 58 year-old and a woman in her 30s, so please calm down. It also features Lila's whole extended family. It's got some choice AJ Carmichael scenes if you're into that fish dude. CW for language, violence, some suicidal ideation, some racism, and a graphic surgical procedure. Great if you like hurt/comfort, some slow burn (but not that slow), and heavy angst.

"Dead by X-mas: The Santa-con Job" (Complete)

This is the second in the "Partner's in Time" series and is a holiday themed one-shot. It is an assignment of Five and Lila's that takes place during Christmas time and features the assassination of Jolly Ole Saint Nick (not really). Features drunken shenanigans, strippers, baseball bats, Lila being brought up Jewish, and Mariah Carey. CW for some misogyny and violence. Great if you want something light and ridiculous.

"The Best of the Best" (Complete)

This here is the first in my long series, "Partners in Time." It's an AU in which the premise is: what if Five had to have a partner at the Commission, and what if that partner was none other than Lila Pitts? This fic is pure platonic temporal assassin chaos, featuring such unbelievable things as murder, mayhem, nazis, werewolves, and friendship. It's great if you're looking for some Five & Lila feels. It's also a story that features old Five, as does the series as it stands. This fic expands upon the Commission lore as well as features such things as Five being Ace, Lila being bi, her upbringing by the Handler, Five's PTSD, Lila's powers, Five's relationship with Delores, Lila's and Five's commonalities, and their ever present mental health issues. CW for implied rape/molestation, lots of swearing, violence, animal torture, torture in general, child experimentation, and lots of arguing.

"New Timeline, New Me" (Complete)

The first fic I ever wrote outside of a creative writing class, and the first thing I've ever published on ao3. This story is my explanation for the fact that the actor who plays Five, Aiden Gallagher, obviously has aged over the course of the series. It's also my interpretation of some of Victor's thoughts and feelings just before he comes out as trans to his family. Great if you love all the Brellies and some siblings feels.

#tua #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #lila pitts #tua fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic appreciation #writers #writing #tua fandom #fanfic author appreciation #ao3 link #ao3 #ao3 fanfic

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thicksexyasswomen46 · 1 month ago

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Tonite

@thicksexyasswomen46🥃🥃

#birthdaysuit_#brownbunniesblog #gaddamn😍#sheknowshefine #strippers aj

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ulkaralakbarova · 4 months ago

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Vamp

Two fraternity pledges go to a sleazy bar in search of a stripper for their college friends, unaware it is occupied by vampires. Credits: TheMovieDb. Film Cast: Katrina: Grace Jones Keith: Chris Makepeace Vic: Sandy Baron AJ: Robert Rusler Amaretto: Dedee Pfeiffer Duncan: Gedde Watanabe Snow: Billy Drago Vlad: Brad Logan Cimmaron: Lisa Lyon Fraternity Leader: Jim Boyle Student: Larry…

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xkittypunkerx · 6 months ago

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SCREAM - A Beautiful Lie

(Starring: Jax Teller, CM Punk, AJ Lee, Kaitlyn and Kofi Kingston) Rated: MA

Chapter Summary: The Gang kidnaps AJ Lee

Chapter Three - Run For Your Life

-April Mendez-

The doorbell finally rang, indicating that the plumber had arrived, mere minutes after I made the phone call. I trudged over to the door and answered it with a very surprised look on my face.

I almost felt like this was one of those ordered male stripper scenarios - "Sexy Plumber Arrives To Clean Your Pipes." Maybe I was simply too trapped in a stereotypical mindset, but this man wasn't fat or ugly at all!

He wore his hat low over his eyes and his long blond hair was tugged back behind his ears. His mouth revealing a small smirk on his face upon seeing me.

What a nice surprise.

"Um, hi, I take it you're the plumber?" I asked, pulling the door open a little further to allow enough room for entrance.

He nodded his head as he walked inside and headed right toward the bathroom. I followed him from a distance, completely embarrassed that we had to meet under these circumstances. But even in the midst of deep embarrassment, I couldn't help but wonder how he knew his way to the bathroom so easily.

He must have seen my confused expression because was able to offer a perfect explanation. "Oh, sorry if this looks weird... I knew where the bathroom was because I've dealt with a couple of the nearby condos here, so I'm pretty familiar with the floor plan."

I nodded my head in response, feeling an oddly strong amount of relief wash through me. I ignored the slight strangeness of this entire situation as I headed back toward the leaving room, letting him finish his work while I continued watching the latest episode of Fullmetal Alchemist.

Since it was one of my favorite episodes, I really didn't pay much attention to the plumber anymore, which is why I was extremely surprised when his voice sounded out suddenly. "Anime fan?"

I nearly jumped out of my seat as my heartbeat began rapidly growing. I laughed a little after registering his voice. "Yeah, I'm a big fan. Sorry, this is just one of my favorite episodes. I was getting so into it that I almost forgot you were here!"

Wow... as if this situation couldn't get any more awkward.

He laughed heartily before leading me back to the bathroom. "This was not a lot of work at all darlin, just a slight amount of blockage. All the pipes are cleared now and your toilet should," he paused to flush the toilet, "work just fine." He smirked.

I thanked him for his services and handed him a check for payment. I stood in the doorway watching as he drove off. He stuck his arm out the window and waved before turning onto another street.

Having nothing better to do and still having the house to myself, I resumed my position on the couch and finished the episode in peace. It didn't take long for my stomach to finally give in to nature and start growling loudly.

"Guess I better make some popcorn real quick before the commercial ends," I muttered to myself as I got up and walked into the pantry.

I grinned excitedly as I placed the bag of extra buttery popcorn into the microwave and listened to the kernels pop one by one. About two and a half minutes later, I carried the bowl of popcorn and a soda into the living room, plopping myself back down on the comfy leather couch, pulling a blanket over me and fluffing the pillow pressed up against my back.

I reached over a little flicking the light switch to bring the fire to live in the chimney. The fire began roaring as the sound of raindrops gently falling onto the rooftop echoed in the background. I sighed contently as the introduction of the next episode began. Sure, Kofi and Kaitlyn may be out and about. But come on, what could be better than this on a rainy evening?

Just as the TV screen flashed into a commercial, the once vibrant flames in the fireplace suddenly began to die down into not-so-magnificent, dull embers. Shortly after, the TV screen turned black, the lights following suit. I guess the storm must've been a little more intense than I presumed. Why else would the power suddenly vanish?

I wasn't much of an expert with electricity, but I knew that one of the best ways to fix it was to check the wiring downstairs in the basement. Ever since I began watching Supernatural, I tried my best to avoid going into dark basements alone - and up until now I've been rather successful.

I stood up reluctantly, and ran my fingers along the walls to navigate my way to the kitchen. I crouched down and dug around inside the pantry until my fingers brushed against the cool metal of the flashlight. I picked it up and used it to walk over to the stairs. I held the light at about shoulder height, foolishly only focusing on what was ahead of me.

I groaned loudly as I dropped onto my knees after ramming the side of my knee into a surprisingly sharp corner of the cherry wood coffee table in the center of the living room. I felt small droplets of blood stick to the surface of my jeans, but it was obviously nothing to cry over.

I forced myself back up onto my feet and slightly limped toward the stairs, stopping more often than I would've preferred - not out of pain, but because I could swear that I saw shadows running along the walls that weren't mine. It had to just be simple paranoia. No one else was in the house...I would've heard him or her enter, especially since it was deathly quiet suddenly.

Light from the flashlight finally refracted off of the golden doorknob separating me from the basement. Quickly, I threw the door open and bolted down the stairs, more than anxious to get this over with. There weren't many things in the basement, so it didn't take too long to locate the electrical box.

Even though the black box was mere feet ahead of me, for some reason, my heartbeat began to race with each step that I took. What was I so afraid of? There were no monsters or ghosts hanging out down here. There were no rats or little creatures. Sure, there were probably spiders, but I'm pretty sure that should be the least of my concerns at this point.

It's just a damn basement.

However, even after I managed to get my breathing remotely close to normal, I noticed something strange. All the wires that should have led up the black box were completely severed from the box. The wires were frayed and displayed across the concrete floor.

"How the hell would something like this happen?" I wondered aloud, feeling a violent shiver crawl up my spine. Something was clearly wrong here.

Before I could get a better look at the wires, or attempt to fix any of it, my flashlight clicked off, and I'll tell you right now that I was not the one who turned it off. I heard some heavy breathing that wasn't coming out of my lungs and immediately screamed as loud as I could.

I spun around and tried to run toward the stairs that seemed so tantalizingly close, but ended up colliding into a hard surface, collapsing on the concrete floor.

"Who... Who's there?" I shouted, my voice cracking in evident fear, despite my attempts to sound strong.

A chorus of eerie laughter filled the stagnant air causing me to crawl backwards until I came into contact with something else. As I previously mentioned, Kaitlyn and I haven't put very many things down here, so there shouldn't be so many roadblocks surrounding me, unless...

My eyes widened as I realized that there were people down here who clearly didn't belong here. I scrambled to my feet as the reality of the horror finally made sense in my head. I refused to go through any more traumatic events, and I meant it. I was going to enjoy my life, remember?

I need to survive this before I can start working toward my goals. Glancing down at the ground, I noticed that the person standing in front of me wore shoes with reflective surfaces. My eyes remained locked on the dim reflections as I crept past that person, trapping my breath deep inside my lungs to avoid bringing attention to my location.

Finally, the stairs came into range. If my deductions were correct, then they all should be several feet away from me...which should give me plenty of time to make it up the stairs before they could catch up to me. I allowed myself to exhale at last as I tightly gripped the wooden railing and bolted up the stairs, trying to ignore the piercing sound of the creaks that echoed each of my footsteps.

"I think she's playing hard to get!" one of the men said with heavy amusement.

"Oh, she won't get too far!" another said confidently.

Their heavy footsteps were coming my way so I didn't waste any more time climbing the final steps and leaping into the kitchen, searching for the home phone. Once my eyes landed on the white device, I gripped it between my sweaty fingers and was prepared to dial 911. However, there was no sound on the other line - pure silence. The line was dead.

"SHIT!" I shouted in frustration.

Luckily, I remembered that I left my cell phone back in my bedroom. They wouldn't be able to turn that phone off! Ignoring the slight burning pain I felt in my knees and the heavy beating I felt in my chest, I raced down the hall and tripped onto my bedroom floor. I was about to reach for my bed, but stopped dead in my tracks as a noise burst through the silence. My cell phone began ringing briefly before someone answered.

"Hello? Oh, I'm sorry AJ isn't here right now, can I take a message?... Haha, alright I'll be sure to tell her..." the man spoke merrily into the phone.

I couldn't do anything but stare at the shadow of the intruder, who stood in place, still holding my phone in his hand. He spun around and faced me with an evil smirk on his face. I could just see the amusement in his expression.

Suddenly, he threw the phone down onto the floor and stomped his heavy black boot on it until it was crushed into an acceptable collection of smashed metal. He pulled the black curtains back, allowing a small amount of gray light to enter the room.

Once he turned to face me in the new lighting, I felt my heart sink down into my intestines.

That face... it couldn't be...

"Why do you look so shocked to see me... AJ? I know these years have done me some good but come on, you can't be that stupid... You couldn't possibly think that you could get away with returning to Chicago so soon without expecting a hello from your favorite boyfriend..." he grinned.

I felt my fear slowly melt away into something fiercer - rage. My eyes narrowed as I glared daggers in his direction, feeling my chest heave up and down as I tried to keep myself contained. For some reason, I had such an urge to rip his throat out. I knew what he meant by "hello," and I wasn't going to give him a chance to capture me.

"You haven't gotten me yet, ass wipe!" I shouted as my adrenaline kicked in dramatically.

His expression transformed into something much darker than before, and something about it told me that I really ought to get the hell out of there. I made a mad run for it, hardly accomplishing anything, though. It felt as if his hot breath was cascading down my neck - like he was right behind me.

I lunged forward and ripped the front door open. The storm had increased in strength as sheets of rain poured down onto the pre-flooded street. I could hardly see in front of myself, but perhaps that's a good thing... that would mean that they would have a harder time finding me. Plus, it was almost completely dark outside by now.

I took one last backward glance before bolting forward, running barefoot through the slippery, wet grass as the fierce wind blew my drenched hair in every direction. I ran around what I assumed to be the side of the house and hoped that I was heading toward the woods. Everything seemed to blur into one darkened, watered down mess, which made it increasingly difficult to determine how safe I really was.

Regardless, I pushed myself forward, ignoring the feeling of sharpened roots scraping across my feet. I shoved branches out the way as best as I could while still maintaining my balance. Unfortunately, at some point my senses became entirely entangled as I felt myself slip backward, landing hard on my ass as I slid down the pointy hill of fallen tree limbs until I made contact with a large tree trunk.

Thunder clapped loudly overhead as lightning lit up the now blackened sky. The rain was as relentless as ever, causing my clothes to stick my skin so tightly, almost like an entire new layer of flesh itself. My body quivered as the cool drops slid across my face and arms. I fear I may have taken too long of a break as the horrid sound of crunching leaves could be heard in the distance.

"I think I saw her over here!" one of them shouted. My worst fears were realized as his voice bounced off the hollow trees. If I was able to hear them...then that surely meant they were too close to me.

I drew in one last partially interrupted breath before hopping back up onto my feet and running straight, wishing that it would be enough to put more distance between us. The wind had died down slightly, causing my wet hair to cling to my face, narrowing my line of vision. The rain was chilly, which made it very challenging to run forward while trying to suppress the shivers.

But regardless, the severe lack of vision was by far the biggest problem. I could be running in circles for all I knew!

As I increased my speed, I absentmindedly tripped over a large log in the middle of my path and let out a scream, this time unable to stop myself, accidentally revealing my location. Their maniacal laughter began suffocating me as their footsteps came closer and closer. I wasn't sure exactly where they were, but since they weren't directly in front of me I knew I still stood a chance.

I slowly stood up and continued onward, barely making much distance. After hearing some leaves crunching and branches snapping, I froze in place, easily reaching a stop, and ready to confront my attacker.

Cautiously, my eyes scanned my darkened, blurry surroundings. I knew someone was there...yet no one was behind me. I was still alone some how. "What the...?" I mumbled in confusion.

"Boo!" someone shouted from behind me as he lunged forward and wrapped his muscular arms around my skinny torso.

I immediately began squirming around in his grip, but soon resorted to screaming instead. "No, let me go! Someone help me!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, hoping that someone would hear me. The only problem was...I wasn't sure how far we were from the condos.

The man behind me clicked his tongue in distaste as he used his free arm to clasp one of his hands over my mouth. "Shhh! I wouldn't want you to use up all of your pretty voice right now. You're gonna be needing it later... sweetheart" he whispered with a smile into my ear.

Eww, I don't think so.

I breathed heavily out of my mouth before leaning my head backward, crashing into his skull and knocking him off balance. I spit the small amount of his blood out of my mouth and got ready to take off running again.

"Fucking bitch!" he growled, writhing in the dirty puddle of water. One down, two more to go.

For some reason, I ran back in the opposite direction, stumbling every now and then as I finally began to feel the aftermath smashing two skulls together. I tried my best to blink past the dizziness and burning pain and continued forward. I pushed myself harder and harder until my condo loomed into view.

I ran across the soaked grass with a maddening smile playing on my lips. I'm gonna make it! The back door stood in front of me, my reflection blurrily reflected off the glass. All I have to do is get inside, lock the door, and hide.

Anxiously, I wrapped my fingers around the slippery doorknob only to find that it was locked. How did they get inside if the doors were locked? I frantically dug into my back pocket and pulled out my key chain.

I shakily singled out the bronze key for the back door and stuck it into the lock, yet no matter how many times I turned it, it wouldn't budge, as if someone changed the lock.

"Having a hard time?" he asked from behind me.

As the lightning flashed in the sky, I saw three other reflections in the glass on the door. I ignored them and continued to shove the useless key into the slot, praying it would open. After realizing that I was cornered, I let the keys clatter onto the ground and attempted to run back to the front, but instead I was harshly pulled back by a steel tight grip around my arm.

"I don't think you'll be going anywhere right now... well except with us," he whispered in my ear as he tightly wrapped his arm around me and used the other to constrict my wrists together.

I began thrashing back and forth, as hard as I could, but it didn't faze him a single bit. "HELP" was the only word that I could scream. Each of the condos was fairly close to each other. Someone had to be able to hear me. This was a college town, not a retirement home. Someone had to

be awake around here.

I soon abandoned all hope once we reached the driveway. My eyes widened as the reality of it all became evident. A large black van with tinted windows was parked alongside the curb. Could it really be that I'd given it my all? Was there nothing left to be done?

Then again, what could a weak girl like me do in the clutches of an overly strong evil man? Teller, the guy I knocked out back in the woods, opened the back door of the van before sending a snarl in my direction.

The only thing that gave me the slightest sense of satisfaction was watching the single trail of blood slide along his temple and down his cheek. My ex-boyfriend, Phil, shoved me into the last row of seats and tightly cuffed my wrists to some armrests.

"I hope you're comfortable, because it's going to be a long, painful ride!" Teller said with a dangerous smirk on his face that made me very uncomfortable to be anywhere near him.

In the Next Chapter: James goes after Kaitlyn

#cm punk #aj lee #jax teller #kofi kingston #wwe #sons of anarchy #fanfiction

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