#strippergeneralgrievous

[writerman]

I adore your writing!! I was wondering may I send in a prompt? A modern au where Bard is a barista and Thranduil goes to get coffee but Bard keeps mispelling Thranduil's name on purpose until Legolas has to tell his dad that "Hey, dad the barista is flirting with you nbd" and he and Bard's kids end up making bets on which of their dad's will cave and ask first over coffee and homework (Legolas has college papers and he helps Bard's kids who are in elementary, middle and high school respectively)

Hey, thank you so much! I am very sorry this has taken so long to respond to. Life and all that jaaazz. I really hope you enjoy this.

------------

“Soy latte extra hot for… Tendril?!”

TENDRIL?

What on EARTH?!

He could keep it together, he would absolutely not make a scene in the cafe. But really, this was the fourth time Thranduil had gone in to grab a coffee before work and had his name butchered by the barista.

Today had to be the worst, it wasn’t even a name! 

What was more annoying than the name is that the barista was just smiling at him as though he knew exactly what he had done. Instead of addressing it Thranduil merely paid and stalked out each time always noting that he didn’t have to use that particular place. 

It was just that… as much as it annoyed him to no end seeing his name misspelt every time, he really enjoyed the coffee, it was close to work and, as infuriating as the barista was, he was also extremely good looking. 

Was that enough though? 

Apparently, yes. 

The whole name thing had been forgotten by the afternoon, and so when Legolas invited him out for lunch at the same place Thranduil accepted without a second thought. 

It was not until he entered the cafe that he remembered his visit earlier that day. 

Archer Coffee was a nice place, decorated to look more like an old tavern but with a modern twist with free WiFi and USB charging built into the tables. A family run business Thranduil had heard but it wasn’t something he was interested in looking into. 

All in all his experience there had not been awful, even the name thing he could overlook most days just that morning had pushed him over the edge for a split second. When he told Legolas the teenager gave his father a blank stare before bursting into peals of laughter.

“What exactly is so funny about someone being incompetent in their job?” Thranduil groused, his eyes were on his son but he was not given an answer and so moved his gaze to the menu. 

After what seemed like far too long, Legolas finally found his composure and clasped his hands together on the tabletop like a kindly old man might when about to reveal a pearl of wisdom to a youngling. 

“Dad, please tell me you’re joking and you know full well why he spells your name wrong?” There was a hint of pleading and amusement in his son’s voice when he spoke and Thranduil got the feeling he had completely missed something in his interactions with the man who made his coffee. 

He had, hadn’t he? 

Oh no. 

To save his pride, if that was even possible at this point, Thranduil drew himself up, his back ramrod straight. “It is obvious that the man does not like me. Though, I’ve not quite worked out why perhaps it is because I do not tip?” The response from his son was not comforting especially when he saw Legolas blanch thankfully recovering quickly but he did glance over to the serving counter before he spoke. 

He was definitely searching out the tips jar. 

“Uh… you should definitely tip. Why haven’t you been doing that and also the reason he is-” Whatever Legolas was going to reveal was cut off as a small girl barrelled into his side and hugged him all the while repeating his name over and over. 

Two other children appeared, one of them peeled the young girl from Legolas’ side and the other greeted him more appropriately. But it didn’t seem to bother Legolas at all and he got to his feet almost immediately after the girl was removed. 

“Sorry dad, my tutoring group is here. I forgot- ah, let me make it up to you later!” He grabbed his bag from down by his seat and waved off his dad before moving off to another table. 

Thranduil had no time to question his son but he had to admit he was equal parts frustrated and proud. The young man had a good head on his shoulders, while he would like to think it was mostly his influence, Thranduil could not help but think the boy was more like his mother. 

A pang of grief grabbed his heart for a moment but it was gone as soon as it had arrived. They had been without her for so long and yet it would oftentimes hurt more in sudden moments like this one. 

His phone buzzed on the table and proved to be a decent distraction from his spiralling thoughts. 

The barista obviously has a crush on you. 

The message was short and very to the point but Thranduil could only stare at it in confusion because is that how people flirted these days? They purposely angered the one they like? 

But of course, it was! 

Oh, how had he been so blind, hadn’t Legolas’ mother wound him up to within an inch of his life? Hadn’t they spent most of their time throwing jibes at one another until their friends had practically forced them to ask one another out? 

“One soy latte extra hot.” The cheerful voice had Thranduil jump and he scrambled to shove his phone into his pocket. “Ah, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” A chuckle followed and Thranduil’s coffee order was placed in front of him. 

“Is that your son?” The one-sided conversation continued and when Thranduil looked up to the one that had spoken they were now looking over at Legolas sat with two other younger teenagers and a small girl. 

“Ah, yes. It is.” It was all he could manage because this man stood beside him, this man that smelled like coffee and something fresh along with cloves was divine and maddeningly distracting. “I did not know he was tutoring on the side,” He offered more hoping he sounded cool and collected because his heart was beating so fast he was sure it might actually burst. 

“He comes in a lot. My kids love the way he teaches, as you can see they are his biggest fans.” Thranduil, in his state of shock, turned almost mechanically to look at his son and the barista was right, the children did seem rapt as Legolas spoke quietly to them. 

The younger child, she was interested but as she likely could not understand what Legolas was talking about spent more time colouring in her book than joining in on the conversation. 

“They are your children?” Really he already knew they were given that the man had already insinuated as such but Thranduil was having a hard time working out how to make conversation now. One handsome face and his confidence was obliterated because his heart wanted to do all the talking but couldn’t quite connect with his mouth and brain to do so. 

It was an overly romantic thought and Thranduil didn’t think he still had that kind of thing in him but apparently, it was just waiting for the right person and the right moment. Although, how could he be sure Legolas was correct and that the barista did actually like him? 

“Yep, all three terrors belong to me. I’m Bard by the way.” An introduction finally and it was casual enough that Thranduil could offer a smile and say nothing more but instead his mouth threw that idea out of the window. 

“Are you the owner?” 

Bard beamed upon hearing the question and gives an enthusiastic nod.

“Sure am! This place belonged to my parents who bought it in the 70s, when I got my grubby mitts on it I gutted the place and gave it a more modern look. Best thing I ever did was take this place on.” No more was said and Thranduil could not continue the conversation as Bard was called away. Thranduil had to try very hard not to be disappointed and busied himself with drinking his coffee, he didn’t have much time left before he had to get back to work so the peace was quite nice. 

Meanwhile, on the table containing the kids, Legolas watched the interaction closely and when Bard walked away he leaned back in his seat and smiled. 

“So, how much do you wanna bet it takes both of them at least two weeks to ask each other out on a date?” Both Bain and Sigrid scoff at this and set their pens down. There was no way they were going to be able to study now. 

‘With the time it took for your dad to work out he was being flirted with two weeks is too short a time frame.” Sigrid mocked and her brother nodded in agreement from beside her. “And he didn’t even work it out himself, you had to tell him!” 

That was fair enough. 

“Alright, so if they don’t ask each other out we have to do it for them?” Bain suggests and to that Sigrid and Legolas agreed. 

Eventually, Tilda piped up. 

“Will daddy marry your daddy?” 

The three older kids exchange a look before they shrug at the little girl.

“I think they will.” 

Legolas mentioned that they would just have to wait and see but secretly he had quite high hopes for the both of them. Even if they had needed help with being nudged in the right direction. 

[thechocobros]

Yeah so I'm the same age as the original final fantasy 7 game and my brother (also the same age) is pissed that I 1 never played original ff7, 2 am going backwards in the series (15 was my first FF game), and 3 prefer the remake as it is my first experience with 7 so I've just been kinda scouring your blog because it's really positive and nice, especially for a newbie Final Fantasy fan because my brother has been a real jerk about me liking the newer games rather than the older ones

ahahahah that’s what having siblings is like, wouldn’t i know

but well, it’s not your fault if you’re young (actually, good for you. As a good old woman, i can say that XD). What your brother is probably trying to say is that the old FF hold the true FF’s magic, which is absolutely true. But there’s no rush, go ahead on reverse, take your time with the FF games, you have the right to. And if you’ll end up liking the newer games, that’s fine, too, we all are different. 

Also, with that kind of ending, FFVII REMAKE will be way easier to be digested by people like you, who never played the original 1997 game. You’re probably without prejudice, unlike the rest of us who have now to deal with mixed emotions. 

And thank you for liking my blog! 

[stark-tony]

I like to think if given the option, Sokka would have either sacrificed himself to take Yue's place or somehow tried to go with her so she wouldn't be alone in the sky because while everyone looks at the same moon, Sokka is the only one who knows her well enough to know she was probably scared of being alone again for the rest of her life

i’m like 80% positive that this is for the unpopular opinions thing so 

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

i have to agree that if it was possible sokka would have tried to take yue’s place. He loved her and her father had ordered him to protect her, so if there was the slightest chance that he could save her from sacrificing herself, he would have. However i don’t entirely know how he would have gone with her

Send me unpopular opinions?

[allons-y-to-hogwarts-713]

Make Me Choose: @strippergeneralgrievous​ asked - Cal Kestis or Jar-Jar Binks

Mesa called Jar-Jar Binks, mesa your humble servant!

[mandaloriangf]

Things I love: Brie Larson as Carol Danvers, all the funky space shit throughout the movies, that one time Howard the Duck showed up in GOTG2, Florence Pugh and Salma Hayek appearing in upcoming movies, Loki in the all black suit & tie ensemble, Jude Law getting his ass kicked in a bathrobe. Things I hate: Gamora's death, the upcoming Black Widow movie timing because it undermines the impact Natasha's death had in Endgame, Natasha's death, hold on let me send a second ask I have more

More things I hate: No one mentions Peter Quill is actually a celestial being that has the power to destroy the entire world ever again after GOTG2, the fact that we will never see Ava Starr, Erik Killmonger or Hela ever again because despite being well written and really awesome aesthetically Marvel sees them as one time villains, Thanos' ugly ass wrinkly butt chin that is so deep Steve's entire character arc was thrown in it like a garbage chute at the end of Endgame hold on I have more

MORE things I hate: Pietro Maximoff's death when the X-Men movies show he very obviously is able to survive, whatever the hell AOU was trying to pull with Bruce/Natasha, Far From Home was ok but I genuinely hate the identity reveal they pulled it just left a sour taste in my mouth, All the Netflix Marvel shows being cancelled (except for Iron Fist that one sucked), New Mutants being advertised since 2016 & not ever showing up, Crystal's costume and overall look in the Inhumans tv show was boring

omg i agree with a lot of this and whats funny is i totally forgot the inhumans show was a thing. really if they wanted to do it they should’ve either waited for disney plus and have a better budget or make it a movie like they were going to. 

[midnightisquiet]

May I request icons or headers of Ygritte? Thank you in advance!

Posted some icons HERE!

[theoldgaylion]

Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day (for the movie ask game)

never seen it | need to see it | hate it | ugh | it was okay | LOVED IT | asdfghjkl

Ask me?

[dazaosamu]

🌈?

just followed you because your blog is so nice, sophia!! it’s so nice and tidy and we seem to like a lot of the same things, especially video games!!

compliment night! send me a 🌈  for a compliment

[daenerya]

BBC Merlin for the ask game

i’ve never watched it, sorry!

[mushroom-circles]

I got tagged by @wellthatisbloodyfantastic!

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better.

Top 3 ships (I don’t have top ships but I come back to these ones fairly frequently):

1. Grantaire and Enjolras

2. Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz

3. Malcolm Bright and Dani Powell

Lipstick or chapstick: Lipstick. Chapstick always breaks me out bc g-d doesn’t want me to have nice things, but slap some red lipstick on me and I’m ready to go!

Last song: Tungs by the Frights, mostly due to @enjoltr’s anon who was actually right it does fit their vibe

Last movie: The Skeleton Twins which I watched about a month ago

Reading: The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt - so far so good, though I may be biased because I love everything of hers I’ve read

Top 3 things that make me happy:

1. My dogs snores, even though they keep me up at night

2. Shower after a long run

3. Curling up with a book and having no where else to be for the rest of the day

I tag @giallos @subcorax @stardust-inthe-wind @getbvcked @trifoyle @ohshitthatismydivsion @comicsophia @spekeasy @strippergeneralgrievous and anybody else that wants to do it!

[spyderinej]

✏️

@strippergeneralgrievous spelling is hard rn but I got in on attempt #3 🤣

[amyskhaleesi]

strippergeneralgrievous has a lot of video game, star wars and comic book content if you like that sort of thing? (also really neat tag system??) captainamericagf also has good marvel comic/movie content and they also are just super chill and really nice to talk to flipphonegay is good too, they have amazing aesthetic posts and their blog is a+

thanks! followed them all! :) 

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

Gwen/Lancelot or Merlin/Freya?

Oooh interesting!! I think both couples had sort of rushed development, but I prefer Gwen and Lancelot, because we got to see a lot more of them and I personally think they had better chemistry than Merlin/Freya! 

[midnightisquiet]

9 Ygritte icons requested by @strippergeneralgrievous

like/reblog if you take, please! let me know if you want another color

- find them HERE

[writerman]

But what... If I wrote more of this one?

I adore your writing!! I was wondering may I send in a prompt? A modern au where Bard is a barista and Thranduil goes to get coffee but Bard keeps mispelling Thranduil's name on purpose until Legolas has to tell his dad that "Hey, dad the barista is flirting with you nbd" and he and Bard's kids end up making bets on which of their dad's will cave and ask first over coffee and homework (Legolas has college papers and he helps Bard's kids who are in elementary, middle and high school respectively)

Hey, thank you so much! I am very sorry this has taken so long to respond to. Life and all that jaaazz. I really hope you enjoy this.

------------

“Soy latte extra hot for… Tendril?!”

TENDRIL?

What on EARTH?!

He could keep it together, he would absolutely not make a scene in the cafe. But really, this was the fourth time Thranduil had gone in to grab a coffee before work and had his name butchered by the barista.

Today had to be the worst, it wasn’t even a name! 

What was more annoying than the name is that the barista was just smiling at him as though he knew exactly what he had done. Instead of addressing it Thranduil merely paid and stalked out each time always noting that he didn’t have to use that particular place. 

It was just that… as much as it annoyed him to no end seeing his name misspelt every time, he really enjoyed the coffee, it was close to work and, as infuriating as the barista was, he was also extremely good looking. 

Was that enough though? 

Apparently, yes. 

The whole name thing had been forgotten by the afternoon, and so when Legolas invited him out for lunch at the same place Thranduil accepted without a second thought. 

It was not until he entered the cafe that he remembered his visit earlier that day. 

Archer Coffee was a nice place, decorated to look more like an old tavern but with a modern twist with free WiFi and USB charging built into the tables. A family run business Thranduil had heard but it wasn’t something he was interested in looking into. 

All in all his experience there had not been awful, even the name thing he could overlook most days just that morning had pushed him over the edge for a split second. When he told Legolas the teenager gave his father a blank stare before bursting into peals of laughter.

“What exactly is so funny about someone being incompetent in their job?” Thranduil groused, his eyes were on his son but he was not given an answer and so moved his gaze to the menu. 

After what seemed like far too long, Legolas finally found his composure and clasped his hands together on the tabletop like a kindly old man might when about to reveal a pearl of wisdom to a youngling. 

“Dad, please tell me you’re joking and you know full well why he spells your name wrong?” There was a hint of pleading and amusement in his son’s voice when he spoke and Thranduil got the feeling he had completely missed something in his interactions with the man who made his coffee. 

He had, hadn’t he? 

Oh no. 

To save his pride, if that was even possible at this point, Thranduil drew himself up, his back ramrod straight. “It is obvious that the man does not like me. Though, I’ve not quite worked out why perhaps it is because I do not tip?” The response from his son was not comforting especially when he saw Legolas blanch thankfully recovering quickly but he did glance over to the serving counter before he spoke. 

He was definitely searching out the tips jar. 

“Uh… you should definitely tip. Why haven’t you been doing that and also the reason he is-” Whatever Legolas was going to reveal was cut off as a small girl barrelled into his side and hugged him all the while repeating his name over and over. 

Two other children appeared, one of them peeled the young girl from Legolas’ side and the other greeted him more appropriately. But it didn’t seem to bother Legolas at all and he got to his feet almost immediately after the girl was removed. 

“Sorry dad, my tutoring group is here. I forgot- ah, let me make it up to you later!” He grabbed his bag from down by his seat and waved off his dad before moving off to another table. 

Thranduil had no time to question his son but he had to admit he was equal parts frustrated and proud. The young man had a good head on his shoulders, while he would like to think it was mostly his influence, Thranduil could not help but think the boy was more like his mother. 

A pang of grief grabbed his heart for a moment but it was gone as soon as it had arrived. They had been without her for so long and yet it would oftentimes hurt more in sudden moments like this one. 

His phone buzzed on the table and proved to be a decent distraction from his spiralling thoughts. 

The barista obviously has a crush on you. 

The message was short and very to the point but Thranduil could only stare at it in confusion because is that how people flirted these days? They purposely angered the one they like? 

But of course, it was! 

Oh, how had he been so blind, hadn’t Legolas’ mother wound him up to within an inch of his life? Hadn’t they spent most of their time throwing jibes at one another until their friends had practically forced them to ask one another out? 

“One soy latte extra hot.” The cheerful voice had Thranduil jump and he scrambled to shove his phone into his pocket. “Ah, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” A chuckle followed and Thranduil’s coffee order was placed in front of him. 

“Is that your son?” The one-sided conversation continued and when Thranduil looked up to the one that had spoken they were now looking over at Legolas sat with two other younger teenagers and a small girl. 

“Ah, yes. It is.” It was all he could manage because this man stood beside him, this man that smelled like coffee and something fresh along with cloves was divine and maddeningly distracting. “I did not know he was tutoring on the side,” He offered more hoping he sounded cool and collected because his heart was beating so fast he was sure it might actually burst. 

“He comes in a lot. My kids love the way he teaches, as you can see they are his biggest fans.” Thranduil, in his state of shock, turned almost mechanically to look at his son and the barista was right, the children did seem rapt as Legolas spoke quietly to them. 

The younger child, she was interested but as she likely could not understand what Legolas was talking about spent more time colouring in her book than joining in on the conversation. 

“They are your children?” Really he already knew they were given that the man had already insinuated as such but Thranduil was having a hard time working out how to make conversation now. One handsome face and his confidence was obliterated because his heart wanted to do all the talking but couldn’t quite connect with his mouth and brain to do so. 

It was an overly romantic thought and Thranduil didn’t think he still had that kind of thing in him but apparently, it was just waiting for the right person and the right moment. Although, how could he be sure Legolas was correct and that the barista did actually like him? 

“Yep, all three terrors belong to me. I’m Bard by the way.” An introduction finally and it was casual enough that Thranduil could offer a smile and say nothing more but instead his mouth threw that idea out of the window. 

“Are you the owner?” 

Bard beamed upon hearing the question and gives an enthusiastic nod.

“Sure am! This place belonged to my parents who bought it in the 70s, when I got my grubby mitts on it I gutted the place and gave it a more modern look. Best thing I ever did was take this place on.” No more was said and Thranduil could not continue the conversation as Bard was called away. Thranduil had to try very hard not to be disappointed and busied himself with drinking his coffee, he didn’t have much time left before he had to get back to work so the peace was quite nice. 

Meanwhile, on the table containing the kids, Legolas watched the interaction closely and when Bard walked away he leaned back in his seat and smiled. 

“So, how much do you wanna bet it takes both of them at least two weeks to ask each other out on a date?” Both Bain and Sigrid scoff at this and set their pens down. There was no way they were going to be able to study now. 

‘With the time it took for your dad to work out he was being flirted with two weeks is too short a time frame.” Sigrid mocked and her brother nodded in agreement from beside her. “And he didn’t even work it out himself, you had to tell him!” 

That was fair enough. 

“Alright, so if they don’t ask each other out we have to do it for them?” Bain suggests and to that Sigrid and Legolas agreed. 

Eventually, Tilda piped up. 

“Will daddy marry your daddy?” 

The three older kids exchange a look before they shrug at the little girl.

“I think they will.” 

Legolas mentioned that they would just have to wait and see but secretly he had quite high hopes for the both of them. Even if they had needed help with being nudged in the right direction.