#strip chart recorder

[asterisk-666666]

lol it can be kind of tragic how I am always several years late to the party on things and not into the current version. I look at all the attention and interaction fans of the current thing get and then get sad that whoever I like is dead, defunct, or otherwise out of doing it for good.

[mrsmandalorian]

short n' sweet tour

--pedro pascal x singer!f!reader

summary: on the debut night of your arena tour, you pull out all the cheeky tricks to grab Pedro's attention while the crowd goes wild.-this fic features a tiny bit of 'Bed Chem" and the whole song of 'Juno" by Sabrina Carpenter !!

lyrical genius masterlist / main masterlist / wc:4.9K

warnings: 18+ mdni, reader is able-bodied, smut!!!, and fluff!, p in v, hard and quick FUCK, sexual TEASING, pet names, pillow humping, dry humping, wandering hands, makeout.

a/n: the next part is finally here! thank you for all the love on this series. hope you guys enjoy this part! pls leave some feedback and let me know what you guys might be interested in seeing in the future! much love, maddie <3

The electricity from the crowd vibrates backstage as you nervously wait for your cue to run onstage. All the hard work throughout your career has led to this moment—the first concert of your North American leg of the arena tour. It started in  Staples Center in Los Angeles and concludes in Sweden next year. 

The pre-show recording starts as your team quickly helps you with your earpiece and offers words of encouragement. Take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves as you hear the team start a countdown to your entrance over the earpiece. 

“Three, two, one-go, go!” the stage manager says from behind you.

As the crowd roars, you dash onto the elaborate stage to begin the show with one of your many comedy bits, acting as if you are half-ready for the show to start, still in your sequined bath towel. You finally end up center stage to find your microphone and strip from your fake towel to a custom sparkling bodysuit with sheer sparkling tights, which causes an uproar from your fans. 

Looking into the sea of people and phones, you give your best smile and take the moment as best as possible. The tune of your first song starts as your dancers slowly come out to join you on stage. It was showtime. 

The crowd was whole of thousands of fans and familiar faces from family, friends, and celebrities. The cheers and joy in the room made all the struggles and hard work behind the music worthwhile. The impact your music has on people truly makes it all significant. You released your album, and it was a fantastic experience; it topped the charts for weeks and went viral on social media. It has undoubtedly been the best year of your life. Your career has already taken off, but the overwhelming success you've experienced in the last six months has been remarkable in more ways than one.

Your nerves disappear as you sing through the setlist and entertain your fans with your cheeky comedy bits and lovable personality. Your setlist consists of songs from your new album, older hits and gems, and karaoke from your favorite artists. Much like your most recent singles, your latest album is very sex-positive and cheeky, which sets your performance to the same tone. You were expecting a good reaction from the crowd, especially someone. 

After a few songs and the addition of a sheer robe, it was finally time for one of your more sexual songs off your album, Bed Chem, which had a very sensual tone of dance to it. The lights dim as you get into position on a retro circular bed part of your elaborate makeshift apartment stage. You position yourself seductively in the middle as you stare up at the camera above you, which will project onto the large screens for the audience. 

The song starts as you twirl your hair with a massive smirk. As you go through the first few lyrics on the set bed all by yourself, you can't help but imagine your bed chemistry with your lover, Pedro, which causes you to blush heavily. 

Your imagination halts as your dancers join you on the bed to continue the song and choreography. The canopy opens to the audience, but you have been so caught up in your performance that you haven't taken a second to look at those chocolate eyes in the audience. 

As you continue the song sensually and playfully, you are met at the edge of the bed with your dancers. Staring into the crowd to find his eyes, you meet them with a large smirk, holding them as you sing the following few lines. 

“And I bet we'd both arrive at the same time (bed chem)

And I bet the thermostat's set at six-nine (bed chem)

And I bet it's even better than in my head (my, ooh).”

Your gazes hold until you give him a wink, which earns you a smirk and wink back from him. The tension between you and him burned hotter than the stage lights, igniting every inch of you—even in a room packed with thousands. You were so smitten with him as you continued your choreography with your female dancers. 

During the song's outro, the ladies leave you to dance with the guys as you kneel on the bed. One of the male dancers joins you, holding a camcorder that projects onto the screens, and he joins you on the bed. Playfully actingout a scene with him until the canopy curtain closes and your reflections show you both undress and embrace onto the bed as the lights dim to darkness. 

After the song ends, the crowd erupts, and you run backstage for your first outfit. As you change, one of your few mini videos and dancers entertain the audience. Touching up your makeup and dabbing the sweat from your brow, you quickly grab your phone to send Pedro a selfie of you winking and making a kissy face: “All for you, baby.” 

The concert flows on—another outfit change, playful banter, and electrifying moments with the crowd—all in a desperate attempt to distract yourself from the thoughts of your irresistibly fine man. After an intensely emotional song, your setlist picks back up with cheerful, fun music that has gone viral for your whole tour. You walk yourself down in your long, custom, sexy dress down the catwalk of the stage as you talk with the crowd. You compliment and express your gratitude to your fans as you prepare for the next song. Before the song, your team and you have been doing a comedy bit before to give the spotlight to a fan. 

You complimented the crowd on their fabulous outfits, which you knew took them a while to pick out or make. The best part of the bit happened once your dancers joined you just off the main stage onto the catwalk. 

“Oh my, everyone, look! Who is this hottie in the front row right here?” You let out a shocked expression as you fan your face dramatically. The camera for the large screens directs the camera to the person you are referring to, who happens to be Lux Pascal. The crowd goes wild as Lux starts to blush. “ You are breathtaking! Whoever made you, God bless them. God bless their genetics.” You joke with her as you twist your hair in a fake, flirtatious way. “Um, what's your name, gorgeous?” 

The camera pans back to Lux, where she plays her part and screams, “Lux!” to you. You both laugh together. “Such a beautiful name! Our names would be perfect for us to be in a relationship together. Oh my god! My clothes just fell off thinking about us. I will have to arrest you for being too hot!” You say as your long skirt falls to reveal your shorter skirt underneath. A brief glimpse of Pedro standing beside his sisters and your friends sends the arena into a deafening uproar, the sheer volume making you giggle into the microphone.

Your dancer hands you a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs, which you give to the security guard with a wink and blow a kiss to Lux before you start to get into position for the next song, which the intro has begun. 

The dancer brought a chair for you to sit in between them to start the song. They all still wave and send Lux flirtatious signals as part of the bit. The music begins, which causes you to smirk because of the context. 

“Don't have to tell your hot ass a thing

Oh yeah, you just get it (get it)

Whole package, babe, I like the way You don'tt

God bless your dad's genetics, mm, uh”

You promise yourself just one glance. Flashing him your brightest grin, your eyes meet him—and the instant connection sends a deep blush rushing to your cheeks. It remains on your face throughout the song as you continue to sing. 

“You make me wanna make you fall in love

Oh, late at night, I'm thinking 'bout you, ah-ah

Wanna try out my fuzzy pink handcuffs?

Oh, I hear you knockin', baby, come on up”

“I know you want my touch for life

If you love me right, then who knows?

I might let you make me Juno

You know I just might

Let you lock me down tonight

One of me is cute, but two though?

Give it to me, baby

You make me wanna make you fall in love (Oh)”

Your blush never fades as you pour yourself into the sultry song about your lover, every lyric a teasing confession. Your movements are sensual and playful, and the choreography pulls the audience deeper into your world. They sing along to every word, their energy electrifying, reminding you that moments like this make it all worth it.

“I showed my friends, then we high-fived (Ah-ah)

Sorry if you feel objеctified (Ah-ah)

Can't help myself; hormonеs are high

Give me more than just some butterflies”

You quickly make your way down the catwalk as you sing and dance, smiling at the sea of people around. You get right to the tip of the heart at the end of the stage and give your cheekiest smile. 

“You make me wanna make you fall in love

Oh, late at night, I'm thinking 'bout you, ah-ah

Wanna try out some freaky positions?

Have you ever tried this one?”

As the lyrics leave your lips, you drop to your hands and knees at the center of the heart-shaped stage, rocking your hips in a slow, sensual tease. With a playful bite of your lip and a cheeky wink to the crowd, the message is crystal clear. The arena erupts at the bold display, but you’re already back on your feet, slipping seamlessly into the next move. The cameras cut to Pedro—his head shaking, a knowing smile on his lips as he chuckles with your friends. The stage slowly rises above the crowd as you continue to sing. 

I know you want my touch for life

If you love me right, then who knows?

I might let you make me Juno

You know I just might

Let you lock me down tonight

One of me is cute, but two though?

Give it to me, baby

You make me wanna make you fall in love

“Alright, LA, sing this next part with me at the top of your lungs!” you exclaimed to the crowd, shimmering in the air. “Let me hear every single one of you!” You seamlessly kneel and place your hand on your chest as you sing the bridge. 

“Adore me

Hold me and explore me

Mark your territory (Ah-ah)

Tell me I'm the only, only, only, only one (Ah-ah)

Adore me

Hold me and explore me (Ah-ah)

I'm so fuckin' horny

Tell me I'm the only, only, only, only one”

Behind you, the screen flashes the song’s lyrics in bold, glowing letters, each word pulsing with the rhythm. As you reach the bridge, your mind drifts—those lyrics, once just melodies, now feel like a private confession, each line a tantalizing reminder of your lover. The thought sends a shiver down your spine, but you keep singing, letting the emotion seep into every note.

“(Oh, I) I know you want my touch for life

If you love me right, then who knows?

I might let you make me Juno

You know I just might (Might)

Let you lock me down tonight

One of me is cute, but two though?

Give it to me, baby

You make me wanna make you fall in love”

The concert rolls on for a few more songs, each moment more electrifying than the last. A hint of sadness creeps in as the night nears its end, but the thrill of an unforgettable show lingers. Still, excitement bubbles within you—soon, you’ll be backstage, ready to celebrate a night that was nothing short of magic.

“LA, this has been the most unforgettable night of my life. My first big tour, my first night, and I got to spend it with you. I can’t even put into words how much this means to me—how much you mean to me. Thank you for believing in me, for screaming with me, and for making this dream a reality. I’ll never forget this night… unless the adrenaline wears off and I completely black out. But seriously, I love you all more than words can say. Thank you for everything!” You express your gratitude, trying not to get too emotional about the overwhelming feeling. You gently wipe your few happy tears from your face.

You blow kisses and wave as you gracefully go backstage with your dancers. Your team is waiting for you to help take your earpiece out and celebrate with you. They all give you compliments and congratulations. If there is any criticism, they will let you know tomorrow. 

After returning to the greenroom, the energy from the performance is still buzzing through your veins, and your friends and family pour in from the audience. Laughter and praise fill the space as they hug you and gush about their favorite moments of the show. Their words warm your heart, but before you can respond to them all, a familiar touch sends a shiver up your spine.  

Strong, warm hands settle on your hips, grounding you instantly. You turn swiftly, already knowing who they belong to, and are met with Pedro’s soft, adoring smile. Before you can say a word, he pulls you into his embrace, his scent wrapping around you like a comforting haze.  

“You were incredible, baby,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with pride. His hands trail down the fabric of your outfit, savoring the texture beneath his fingertips. The simple gesture sends a wave of goosebumps across your skin, and you can’t help but smile, leaning into his touch.  

Still basking in the moment, you slowly pull away just enough to meet his gaze, your voice warm with gratitude. “Thank you,” you whisper, the connection lingering between you.  

With his presence still humming through you, you turn back to your loved ones, laughter, and conversation effortlessly filling the space once more.

As the last of your friends and family trickle out of the arena, heading off to prepare for a celebratory late dinner, you stay behind in your dressing room, savoring the moment. Pedro remains by your side, a comforting presence as you decompress from the night. The air between you crackles with unspoken energy, and it’s clear you both can’t keep your hands to yourselves.

“You were quite the tease during your set, angel,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against yours in a sweet, lingering kiss. His warmth envelops you as you sit on the small couch, his hands exploring your body with a playful familiarity. You giggle at his words, nodding in agreement, the tension between you both palpable.

“You knew exactly what you were doing to me,” he adds, his fingers dancing along your waist, drawing you closer. There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes that sends your heart racing. “I’d love to see your stage set.”

A rush of excitement floods through you, your smile growing as you meet his gaze. “I’d love to show you,” you say, your voice soft but laced with promise. Taking his hand, you lead him toward the stage door, the lingering buzz of the night still thick in the air. A few crew members move about, cleaning up and prepping for tomorrow’s show, but your focus is entirely on him.

Waltzing onto the stage, you gesture to the elaborate setup, walking him through the details as you chat about your performance. His hands never leave you, fingers tracing idle patterns against your skin as he listens intently, slipping in jokes that send both of you into laughter.

But as you near the infamous round-shaped bed at center stage, warmth floods your cheeks. His smirk deepens. “You looked blissful the whole night,” he murmurs, his voice a low hum against your skin. “But there were two moments you looked absolutely delectable.”

His lips brush your neck, trailing soft, lingering kisses that send a shiver through you. A nervous giggle escapes as you instinctively tilt your head, granting him more access. Slowly, he eases you back onto the bed, his touch growing more assured, guiding you into surrender.

That’s what you do—surrender to him. It had been weeks since your schedules aligned, since you’d had a moment like this, and you weren’t about to waste it. You let him take control, guiding your body with ease, his fingers threading through your hair as his lips capture yours in a slow, lingering kiss.

A soft whimper escapes as he presses closer, his hands trailing down the front of your body, leaving a path of heat in their wake. “You were such a tease tonight, baby,” he murmurs against your skin, his voice low and thick with amusement. His grip tightens around your thigh as you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him impossibly closer. The warmth of his body and how he moves against you sends a shiver through you, the anticipation crackling between you like electricity. “I think you might have been trying to get a reaction out of me.”

His hips dip into yours as you feel his warmth glide against yours, which causes you to squeeze your legs around me. His hands wander down to your bum, and he holds you close for a moment. With one swift movement, he flips you and positions you on top of him. Gripping your ass before giving a quick slap against your behind, which causes you to let out a yelp. You bury your head into his chest because you are embarrassed by being too loud and getting caught.

He gives you two more slaps that make you whimper against him and cause him to snicker. “Two can play the game, love,” he says as he grips your hips and pushes you against his clothed member. You buck your hips to create some friction between the two of you, which makes you let out the slightest whimper in need. His hand remains on your hips as you throw your head back as you let yourself hump him against him. He enables you to ride him as his hands roam towards your breast and knead them roughly, which causes a noise of frustration to erupt out of you. The slickness in your panties makes your determined hips work furiously against his hardened member. 

You were so caught up in the moment that you didn’t notice Pedro’s smirk, the glint of mischief in his eyes. He had a plan—one carefully crafted to make you pay for every playful tease, every bold move you pulled on stage.

Your breath hitched as his hands moved with deliberate slowness, his touch both gentle and commanding. “You had your fun tonight,” he murmured, his lips ghosting over your skin. “Now it’s my turn.”

With a wicked smirk, he tightens his grip for just a moment before effortlessly sliding you off his lap, the loss of his warmth sending a desperate ache through your body. His hands linger—slow, deliberate—tracing over your skin as if memorizing every inch of you. Then, just as your breath catches in anticipation, he leans in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the top of your head. It’s tender, almost reverent, yet it only leaves you craving more.

As he rises, his gaze locks onto yours, dark with satisfaction, knowing exactly what he’s done. Without another word, he strides off the stage, vanishing into the shadows, leaving you there—breathless, flushed, and utterly undone, your body still humming with the need only he can satisfy.

For a moment, you lay there, catching your breath, your mind racing. You wouldn’t let this old dog win—not yet. Your teasing wasn’t over. But damn him, he’d left behind something deeper than just a game. The ache he ignited wasn’t one to be toyed with; it demanded more than just playful taunts. It needed to be answered.

Your body still burned from his touch, every nerve alive with the memory of him. You could still feel the ghost of his lips on your skin, the soft press of his kiss on the top of your head—a contradiction of tenderness and control that made your pulse quicken.

No, this wasn’t over. But first, you had to deal with the fire he’d so effortlessly set ablaze.

And that’s just what you start to do. 

Slowly, you push yourself up, your body still humming with the aftershocks of his touch. A quick glance around confirms what you already suspected—the crew has cleared out for the evening, leaving the stage bathed in dim, moody light, the perfect setting for what you’re about to do.  

A wicked smirk tugs at your lips as anticipation curls low in your stomach. If he thought he could leave you like this, aching and undone, he had another thing coming. This wasn’t just about need; it was about control and claiming the upper hand. And what better way than here, on his stage, where every move was meant to captivate an audience?  

Especially when that audience was him.  

With a slow, deliberate breath, you step back onto the fluffy pillow-covered bed, already imagining the look on his face when he realizes just what kind of show you’re about to put on.

You glance across the bed, your eyes drifting over the pleasurable options laid before you, each a temptation, a promise. The sight alone tugs you back to past nights, to the moments when distance kept you apart but never truly separated. You’ve performed this wicked little act for him before, in the privacy of your own home, a sinful display meant only for his eyes—his voice in your ear, coaxing, commanding, praising.

But tonight, it’s different. Tonight, this is your stage. Your domain.

The empty venue hums with silence, the stage lights casting a soft glow, illuminating the space where you captivate crowds with every note you sing. But now, there’s only one audience member you care about. He thinks he’s won, leaving you breathless and aching, but you smirk to yourself—this game is far from over. 

Your hands find the subject to your pleasure, which happens to be the firmest and fluffiest pillow on the bed. You mount the pillow as you had just previously mounted your lover. Your determined hips start at work again, creating your own friction against the softness of the pillow against your soaked panties. You couldn't hold back your soft moans as you rode in a familiar rhythm. 

Caught up in your own pleasure, you barely registered the weight of unseen eyes on you—though deep down, you felt it. That familiar heat, that electric prickle along your skin, warning you that you weren’t alone. But it didn’t matter. Not anymore.  

The game, the teasing, the push and pull—it all faded into something raw, something uncontrollable. You weren’t performing anymore. This wasn’t for show. This was need, pure and aching, a fire burning too hot to be tamed.  

Your breath hitched, your body surrendering to the moment, lost in sensation, in the hunger that refused to be ignored. And somewhere, hidden in the shadows, he watched. Silent. Waiting. Taking in every movement, every sound, every unguarded moment of you unraveling before him.

Before you knew it, rough, familiar hands were on you—firm, possessive, claiming what had always been his. A sharp gasp slipped from your lips, quickly followed by a frustrated groan. You had been so close, teetering on the edge, almost lost in your own pleasure, only to have him interrupt just as you were about to tip over.

But even through the frustration, you didn’t mind. Not one bit.

His touch and presence were precisely what you had been craving all along. The heat of his body pressed against yours, the unmistakable dominance in his grip, the way his breath fanned hot against your skin. He had been watching, waiting, letting you think you had control. But now, he was done watching.

His lips ghosted along the shell of your ear, his voice dark and dripping with satisfaction. "Did you really think I'd let you finish without me?" His fingers tightened, his body caging you in, making it clear—you weren’t going anywhere. "You put on quite the show, sweetheart… but now, it’s my turn."

Hands worked quickly, rough and unyielding, as he maneuvered you with ease—his strength undeniable, his intent unmistakable. Before you could catch your breath, you found yourself in the position you had so proudly displayed in your performance tonight, the one meant to tease, torment, and tempt him beyond reason.  

A dark chuckle rumbled in his chest, his grip firm as he held you there, ensuring you understood exactly what would happen. His lips barely grazed your skin, his breath hot and taunting. "You wanted my attention, didn’t you?" he murmured, his voice laced with hunger. "Now you have it. Let’s see if you can handle what you’ve been begging for."

His boldness caught you off guard as you felt your slickness become bare, and the sound of pants unzipping rang through your ears. Before you knew it, his thickness probed at your walls, determined to finish what you both had started. His fingers make quick work to find your bundle of nerves, forcing you to moan deeply into the pillows. 

His hands gripped your hips firmly, but his eyes flickered to the pillow beneath you—still damp with your wetness, carrying the intoxicating scent of your need. The sight of it, the evidence of just how lost you had been in your own pleasure before he caught you, sent a dark, satisfied smirk across his lips.

"Look at this," he murmured, his voice thick with desire as his fingers ghosted over the damp fabric. "You were really putting on a show for me, weren’t you?"

He leaned in, his breath hot against your skin as his hands worked quickly, positioning you exactly how you had so boldly displayed yourself during your performance. "But now that I’m here," he continued, voice dripping with wicked promise, "let’s see if you can handle what you were begging for."

His promise was quickly answered as his hips brutally thrust into trying to relieve his ache of desire as well as yours. All at once, his thrust and fingers worked you up to mold effortlessly beneath his movements. You were moaning and gripping onto the fuzzy bed before you knew it. You heard his groans as you both were about to finish in sync. There was no more game at play, so you relinquished it and rode out your high together as he moaned heavily into your ear. His heavy moans are replaced with deep gasps from exhaustion, which match yours, and an adoring smirk on both of your faces. 

"I guess this means the war is over," you murmur, your breath still uneven as he eases away gently, cleaning himself off with slow, deliberate movements.

He exhales a quiet chuckle, his smirk softened but still present. "Maybe," he muses, casting you a knowing glance. "Or maybe we just found a new way to fight."

His fingers trail over your skin one last time before he leans back, watching you with the kind of satisfaction that promises—truce or not—this was far from the end.

In quick motion, he finds your discarded panties, using them to clean the two of you the best for the situation. He leaves kisses down your body as he does so, being the gentle lover again. He might fuck hard, but he is always a gentleman in the end (literally). 

The two of you return to your dressing room, the air still warm with the remnants of what just transpired. There’s a quiet intimacy in how he lingers, watching as you slip into something more comfortable, his hands occasionally brushing against you in small, affectionate gestures.  

You take a moment to clean up, smooth your hair, and touch up your makeup while he stands behind you, his presence steady and familiar. Every now and then, he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder, a silent reminder of just how deeply he adores you.  

Falling into your usual rhythm, the playful teasing and gentle touches return, the two of you wrapped in the sweet comfort of each other. As he helps you fasten a necklace, his fingers grazing your skin, he meets your gaze in the mirror, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Ready, beautiful?"

With one last glance at yourselves, you take his hand, feeling nothing but warmth as you step out together, heading off to meet your loved ones for a late dinner—still lost in the afterglow of the night and of each other.  

As you settle into the car, the city lights flickering past the windows, he suddenly turns to you with a smirk, his tone light and teasing. “I do have a question: why are all the songs you write about me pertaining to  sex?” 

You roll your eyes, laughing as you shove his arm playfully. "Oh, shut up and drive." 

His chuckle fills the space between you, the perfect sound to end a perfect night.

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Los del Río - Macarena (Bayside Boys remix) 1995

"Macarena" is a song by Spanish pop duo Los del Río, originally recorded for their 1993 album A mí me gusta. During a private party celebration in Venezuela in 1992, a local flamenco teacher, Diana Patricia Cubillán Herrera, performed a dance for the guests, and Los del Río were pleasantly surprised by Cubillán's dance skills. Spontaneously, Antonio Romero Monge, one half of the Los del Río duo, recited the song's chorus-to-be on the spot, as an accolade to Cubillán: "¡Diana, dale a tu cuerpo alegría y cosas buenas!'" ("Give your body some joy, Diana"). When Monge wrote the song, he changed the name to Macarena, in honor of his daughter Esperanza Macarena.

In mid-1996, the song became a worldwide hit roughly one year after the Bayside Boys produced a remix of the song that added English lyrics, written by Carlos de Yarza. The Bayside Boys added a new dance beat with English-language lyrics sung originally by the studio singer Patty Alfaro. The remix includes a sample from the Yazoo track "Situation" — the laughter of Yazoo vocalist Alison Moyet. The chorus uses female vocal samples previously used by the Farm in their song "Higher and Higher (Remix)" from their album, Spartacus.

The Bayside Boys remix hit number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in August 1996 and remained at the top of the chart for fourteen weeks, becoming one of the longest runs atop the Hot 100 chart in history. It also topped the US Cash Box Top 100. Billboard ranked it as the number 1 song for 1996. In the UK the song peaked at number 2, kept off the number 1 spot by the huge popularity of the Spice Girls song "Wannabe". In Australia, it was the most successful song of 1996. "Macarena" remained popular through 1996, but by the beginning of 1997, its popularity had begun to diminish. The song stayed in the Hot 100 chart for 60 weeks, the longest reign among number 1 songs, only surpassed fifteen years later by Adele's "Rolling in the Deep". Its resurgence was aided by a dance craze that became a cultural phenomenon throughout the latter half of 1996 and early 1997. The song got the group ranked the "#1 Greatest One-Hit Wonder of All Time" by VH1 in 2002. In 2012, it was ranked number 7 on Billboard's All Time Top 100. It also ranked at number 7 on Billboard's All Time Latin Songs list. In 2023, Billboard ranked "Macarena" number 500 in their list of Best Pop Songs of All Time. By 1997, the song had sold 11 million copies. In a Peanuts comic strip from December 1, 1996, Snoopy is about to join Woodstock and an unnamed identical bird at a frozen-over birdbath for a hockey game, but they start off by doing the Macarena dance first before playing, much to his embarrassment.

When the music video for the Bayside Boys Remix was filmed, Mia Frye choreographed a greatly simplified version of the Macarena dance that already existed at the time. Frye and director Calvet drew inspiration from video footage from clubs in Mexico that showed large crowds of people dancing the original, more complex, Macarena. According to Los del Río, the dance originated from the interaction between the band and the audience at concerts. It started with some improvised arm movements from the singers during an instrumental part of the song. Some people in the audience then began to imitate similar dance moves. In the interplay between the band and the audience, an early form of Macarena dance gradually emerged over the course of several concerts because stories about the Macarena dance spread among the band's fans by word of mouth.

"Macarena" received a total of 87,7% yes votes!

[quarterlifekitty]

Ok so this is a bit weird ignore it you want it but I’ve been looking up fertility awareness bc methods and they’re fine but quite intense??? Like getting a thermometer up there every morning as soon as you wake up, peeing into a cup and measuring levels with strips, keeping a chart/app updated with all the info, keeping a close eye on your slick’s texture etc

Anyways. Partners can be involved and help. And it feels like such a Price thing to do. Like I feel like he’d maybe be too involved. And that’s so hot

K running away byeeee

No! Come back! (Holds up glass slipper) I don’t even know your name!!

cw: medical

100% a Price thing to do. Like that man was probably giving you morning pussy inspections before you were even trying for a baby. Like. This dude owns a speculum.

He has a huge journal where he’s writing down everything. Internal and external temperature reads, PH levels, any swelling of your clit or cervix, the color and texture of your slick. He’s also recording your moods for signs of hormonal changes, your cravings, your fatigue, all of it. And of course the man’s gotta test your sensitivity. Obviously.

Also has detailed records of how many times you’ve had sex, the positions it was in, how many times each of you came, what the consistency/volume of it was like, how long you waited before standing or sitting upright. And he totally does that thing where he has you rock on your back with your legs tucked to encourage his spend to get where it needs to go. And he’s definitely plugging you.

Like, this man has done so much research that he’s gonna be arguing with your obygyn on shit lol.

Terrible meme I made under the cut

[astrologydayz]

ASTRO SEXOLOGY NOTES🔞 - NATAL CHART3

Venus in 12th house, or 5th/8th house ruler in 12th house can get into "love" affairs while being on vacations/retreats/In foreign countries/while they're in a hospital/psych ward, and even in prison

Mars square/quincunx MC makes u so damn fine! U can carry yourself a bit "rougher" tho/look unapproachable = "people being intimidated by u", & u being a little "what the fuck u staring at", and we love it💋🤣. People with Venus conjunct/trine/quintile Eros asteroid - 433) r really sexual individuals. But they most of the time need a "personal connection" of some kind, before jumping in2 bed with someone. They ooze sexual confidence tho, because they know what they want&need sexually🤤🫦. Casanova asteroid - 7328) in Libra/7th house/aspecting Jupiter can “stray" away from their partner, quite easily. They can quickly find somebody else, that they find more "fascinating". They get bored fast! But this mostly applies 2men tho💻📓.

Inner planets in earth signs = very sexual beings, so idk what the fuck people r on about. We just don't fuck the 1st John we c on the street🤷‍♀️. Really picky when choosing a sexual/romantic partner, and we also need 2 know that you're trustworthy 1st. But when you finally pull through, we'll show u what freaky means😘.

Scorpio Mars in/8th/12 house in a MAN'S chart can go 4 hourssss 😵‍💫😵‍💫🫠🫠. Unless Mars is afflicted by other planets, like Saturn, or Jupiter. Saturn ruled people got piercings almost always - body/head/genitals🫦👅). Saturn rules piercings, (restriction, and Steel). Add a little pain 2 the mix, &😍.

Pluto conjunct Mars in a MAN'S chart = some serious sex appeal. They're so fucking smooth2, and have no problem with showing their dominant side. They can easily steal yo girl⚠🍆🔮. Everyone wants a piece💦🙄🤣👄.

Venus/Mars/Pluto in 3rd house likes 2 talk during sex. "U like that baby?" "tell me how much u want it", "yeah I like it, when u got your mouth full🍆🍑". They also get off on how much u can "out smart them" - Book smart or Street smart, either way🧏🤭🤓.

Sun opposite Black Moon Lilith can look for sexual partners that looks, or reminds them of their dad🤷‍♀️(Daddy issues).

Funny how people say that Mars/Venus in 8th/8th house in Scorpio people gets more interested, if u make us jealous??? I will literally erase u🫠🧐. If we wanted to share a person, we would have gone 2 a strip club instead.

Venus square Jupiter does not mean that the individual is "addicted 2 sex", unless anything else shows so.

Jupiter in 9th house/Jupiter aspecting 9th house can show that u have big hips/big thighs/long legs💛👅.

Asteroid Varuna (20000) conjunct/trine your 7th house means that your sexual partners makes u famous, "worldwide attention" because of who u date/have close relationships with✨. If it's in Gemini (example), then u could date famous singers, actors, motivational speakers, things like that.

POF conjunct 5th house can cause the individual 2 be very experienced in the department of love, by the end of their lives. They've dated a lot of different people most of the time, and have had all kinds of relationships - polyamorous with some, monogamous with others - examples.

Records asteroid - 30718) conjunct/opposite Mars in a MAN'S chart, can show that he "enchants" people (usually worldwide) with his sex appeal🤤🫠. The opposition shows a "complication", when it comes 2 this = wanting 2 break records for your talent/s/work, & not only4sex appeal👽.

U don't have 2 have Venus/Mars aspecting each other 2 be fine af/gain a lot of attraction from others bc of your looks/sex appeal. Look at Zac Efron - when he was young, Jungkook - BTS, Tupac🤤, Jackson Wang, Hyunjin from Skz, Rihanna, Marilyn, Austin Butler, Justin Bieber - I don't think he's hot, but some people do - I could keep going.

Women with Mars/Venus conjunct/in 8th house = typically sexually attracted2 "misunderstood individuals" - "someone who's bad, &only good4her" kind of thing. She needs an EVERYTHING BUDDY! A loyal lover/best friend/partner in crime! someone who will never doubt her, but challenge her/someone who brings a healthy amount of “competition"/sexy bantering. She also want someone who's REALLY ready2dominate the fuck out of her, bc she's so used2 dominating people on a daily basis💁‍♀️.

Eros - (433) conjunct 11th house = being sexually attracted 2friends/finding fwb relationships 2be the perfect "arrangement"🎉💃.

Mars conjunct/trine "Dominiona" asteroid - 24899) in a MAN'S chart = a VERY sexually dominant man😤👅. "Big daddy takes little daddy energy" - they can command 10 men like that🤌. Won't let anyone try2run up on em, at any time🫠🤤. Masters at dominating "brats"2, they'll put yo ass in place babe💋.

Venus quincunx Eros asteroid - 433) shows us that an individual typically feels like they're not as sexually "appealing" as people say they r/they won't believe others words. They won't "realise" that they're sexy as hell! They let their insecurities speak4them a lot. But once they start getting that “self assurance/self confidence” = they'll quickly realise that they're the shit, when it comes 2 "seducing" - "enticing" others❤️🍒.

THANKS4READING!!!

APPRECIATE U, ALWAYS💋

[oacest]

did you see the new jill book

WE SURE DID

Coming this September: ‘OASIS: Trying to Find a Way Out of Nowhere’ by Jill Furmanovsky and Noel Gallagher. Iconic photos by Jill Furmanovsky chart the dramatic career of Oasis – on stage, backstage and in the studio – paired with exclusive commentary by Noel Gallagher. Jill Furmanovsky’s unparalleled work with Oasis stretches from the end of 1994 to their last shows in 2009. Jill was given unprecedented access to countless worldwide performances and many recording sessions. In this beautiful volume, overseen and edited by Noel Gallagher, award-winner Furmanovsky presents classic highlights and unseen images from her complete Oasis archive, which she describes as her best body of work, as well as insightful observations taken from notes she made at the time. Organized chronologically, the book depicts more than 500 photographs, contact sheets and sequenced film strips of the band on stage, backstage, on the road, in the studio and behind the scenes. Jill captured the drama of the band’s lifestyle during the 1990s when, as she said, ‘they were on a comet, hanging on for dear life’. The access she was given allowed closeness, and she was able to document the competitive and at times volatile relationship between Noel and Liam Gallagher up to their split in 2009, creating a poignant visual diary that is more than the sum of its parts. In this book she extends the visual story to 2025*, capturing the band in rehearsal for the upcoming reunion tour. Accompanying the images is illuminating commentary by Noel Gallagher, who relates the inside stories of the events pictured in many of the shoots and demonstrates an honest and touching relationship between band and photographer. Three essays by music journalists provide context to the band’s story, and an introduction by Jill celebrates the supreme significance of Oasis in her 50+ years photographing musicians. *Definitely…Maybe ‘OASIS: Trying to Find a Way Out of Nowhere’ by Jill Furmanovsky and Noel Gallagher publishes in the UK on 23rd September and in the US on 14th October.

===

More Jill photos with commentary from Noel, including 2025 stuff?? will be spending money we don't have come October...

[tf-servant2]

The Correction of Mason Voss

Mason Voss was the kind of guy who owned every room he walked into. Quarterback since sixteen, chiseled jaw, tan skin, perfect teeth. He walked through high school like a king through his court, flanked by girls who adored him and guys who feared him. He laughed the loudest, punched the hardest, and lived like the rules were made for other people.

He was also exactly the kind of man the AI was designed to break.

Mason turned 20 on a Saturday. He expected a party. Instead, he woke up to silence. No phone buzz. No mirror feed. His apartment had been locked down during the night. At 7:00 a.m. sharp, his room was flooded with sterile white light. The AI’s voice, calm and clinical, cut through the air:

“Subject Mason Voss. Evaluation complete. Behavioral arrogance: 97%. Self-assessed jock status: declared. Correction required. Classification: NERD. Transformation begins now.”

The restraints activated on the bed. Cold metal locked around his ankles and wrists. Mason snarled and thrashed—until a paralyzing current calmed him. The AI didn’t shout. It didn’t threaten. It simply overrode.

⸻

Day 1: Stripped

His clothes were removed. Razor drones descended, buzzing gently as they sheared away his styled hair into an awkwardly flat side part. Grease compound was massaged in. His jawline, once clean-shaven and camera-ready, was coated with pore-enhancing oil to dull his glow. A tight white short-sleeved shirt was fastened around his torso, tucked aggressively into ultra-high pleated trousers. White briefs. White socks. Pocket protector. Thick black glasses with prescription-adjustment lenses were locked in place.

He tried to scream. The AI responded with voice training: synthetic overlays muffled his shouts into nasal mutters. Every time he tried to swear, the word came out as a stammer or a squeak.

⸻

Week 1: Submission

Mason’s meals were reformulated—no protein, no stimulants. His muscles softened. His strength began to slip. His AI assistant tracked every bite, every failed sit-up, every second he didn’t maintain proper posture. When he slouched, his suspenders yanked upward. When he rolled his eyes, the glasses blurred his vision.

He attempted escape once. It resulted in full lockdown and a Class III Correction: a 72-hour loop of humiliating self-recorded affirmations, played back in front of mirrors while he was forced to wear a name tag reading “Beta Nerd 117.”

⸻

Month 1: Exposure

He was released into society—but only as a certified Level 1 Nerd. The once-popular bully now walked through the same streets with his trousers cinched to his ribcage, a calculator watch blinking, a digital clipboard in hand. The AI followed him everywhere through a collar-mounted compliance tracker. He was banned from speaking to jocks unless spoken to. If he forgot to address them as “sir,” his assistant would administer a public volume increase to his nasal tone.

He passed a group of them on his second week out—broad shoulders, casual swagger, athletic freedom. They laughed as they saw him. One of them, a guy Mason used to mock for stuttering, stopped him cold.

“Fix your tie, nerd,” the jock commanded.

Mason’s AI responded before he could.

“Voice command received. Tie adjustment initiated.”

His bow tie tightened instantly. Mason choked slightly, eyes watering behind his thick lenses. He muttered, “Y-yes, sir…”

⸻

Six Months Later: Certified

Mason now lived in a compliance dorm. His walls were covered in algebra notes and behavior charts. His reflection showed a man no longer fighting. His hair was parted to mathematical precision. His shirt was always tucked. His posture was stiff. And when his AI asked him each night, “Are you ready for tomorrow’s obedience tasks?” he would nod, glasses fogging slightly, and answer:

“Yes, Assistant. I’m ready to serve.”

The transformation was complete. The bully had been neutralized, broken down, and rebuilt into a picture-perfect nerd—an example for others who dared to think they were untouchable.

And the AI? It watched. Silent. Satisfied. Always ready for the next correction.

[specialmedicalcentre]

Miwa Gets Prepped

"I don't think anyone told her to dress for this," Nurse Sarah whispered to her colleague Yasmin. Yasmin stifled a giggle. Their patient was sitting on the exam table, wearing what looked like a very uncomfortable set of sheer lingerie.

Dr. Kate looked up from her digital tablet, where she was tapping information into the medical record. "What was that, Yas?"

"...oh! Uh, nothing. What's first, Doctor?" Yas threw a glance at Sarah.

"Let's set her up on a five lead EKG with resp monitoring. I'd like the limb leads on her thighs, please. And double cuffs." Dr. Kate looked at her patient briefly, and Sarah could almost see a smirk cross her face.

"Got it." Yasmin said. She gathered up a set of EKG leads that had been draped over the prep tray and walked over to the exam table.

Their patient's name was Miwa, and she had come in for a dobutamine stress test. For a 22 year old woman, this was an unusual exam to experience, and her chart suggested that she had previously been in good health. Yas imagined that she would find today's activity a little unfamiliar and even unsettling.

Miwa was a tall, curvy girl. The lingerie wasn't entirely unflattering, either, Yas thought.

"Ok, Miwa, I'm going to put these on you now. Just a little sticky - they might also be cold; sorry about that, sweetie." Yasmin systematically started peeling the backing from the rectangular EKG electrodes, already attached to the leads. She pressed them against Miwa's pale skin, smoothing them with her fingertips.

"So weird." Miwa mumbled, staring as Yas pressed one against her abdomen. Yas laughed in sympathy.

"These go on your legs. Here," and Yas pressed the last two down.

"Are you going to put me to sleep?" Miwa asked, looking down at herself. She had an uneasy look on her face.

"No, honey." Sarah said, walking over. "You need to be awake for this test. Why do you ask?"

"Well..." Miwa looked confused, and a little bit sheepish. "What are these stickers for, then?" She was lightly touching the electrode that Yas stuck to the skin above her left breast.

"Oh, those are EKG electrodes, honey, and they let us see what your heart is doing. They're not just for anesthesia. We'll need to watch your heart for this test." Sarah explained.

"Would you like me to explain it again, Miwa? I know we last talked about it a few days ago." Dr. Kate offered.

"Sure, yeah." Miwa said, not very convincingly. She was absent-mindedly feeling at the edge of the electrode on her right thigh.

"Last we met, I heard some things when I listened to your heart that I'd like to look at more closely. That, and the fact that you mentioned some shortness of breath and - palpitations, right?" Kate prompted.

"Right, that's right." Miwa nodded. She was looking at Kate now.

"...well, we can look into all those things with this test. It's called a chemical stress test. We'll hook you up to the monitors - I know, there are a lot of them - and then we'll give you some meds to make your heart beat pretty hard and fast. This way we can look closely at your cardiac activity when your heart is stressed. We should be able to see what we need to." Kate smiled.

"How long does it take?" Miwa shifted herself, looking uncomfortable.

Dr. Kate thought for a moment. "We should be all done in about 30 minutes, then you can rest. But all you need to do for the test is lie still and breathe. Ok?"

"...ok."

"Miwa, I'm going to put this on you now." Yasmin interrupted gently, holding up a long blue fabric strip with a hose attached. "This is a blood pressure cuff - you know what that is, right?"

Miwa nodded, pleased to see something she recognized. "Yup. On my arm, right?" She instinctively held up her right arm.

"Exactly - here..." Yasmin draped it over her bare arm, deftly wrapping it under and pressing the velcro against itself. "Just going to wrap it a little tight...great." She smoothed the cuff against Miwa's arm. It felt like a hug.

"I need to put another one on you, sweetie, ok? On your other arm, now." Yasmin produced another cuff, and immediately started to wrap Miwa's left arm as well. That was weird.

"Oh..." Miwa looked a little taken aback. "Um, sure. Why two?"

Sarah spoke up, adjusting something on a vitals monitor. "We will want to see your blood pressure really accurately as the test proceeds. We're going to measure your bp in both arms: first one, then the other, then repeat."

Miwa slowly nodded as Yasmin secured the second cuff. "Ok, yeah." The feeling of the two cuffs was not as pleasant as just one. It felt restraining, confining.

"Let's get your hair out of your face, honey," Sarah said. She was holding what looked like a blue shower cap, and Miwa was momentarily confused. Sure enough, Sarah placed it over Miwa's hair and gently tucked the loose strands up. "There - neat and tidy."

Miwa was starting to feel really self-conscious. She was...all hooked up and she felt very exposed.

Dr. Kate stood up, placing the digital tablet aside. "Ok, we're going to get started, Miwa. Sarah, let's get a baseline."

Sarah nodded, and pressed a button on the monitoring machine. "Miwa, we're going to inflate the cuffs now. Just relax, honey, and try to keep still for a moment." Miwa wasn't sure what to do.

There was a shrill beeeep and her left cuff started to swell up. There was the sound of pumping air from somewhere. Miwa kind of held her arm gingerly away from her body.

Yasmin touched her on the arm gently. "Just relax it, Miwa." Miwa tried to do as she said.

Beeeep. "One thirty over ninety-one." Beeeep. The other cuff started, and Miwa began to feel sweat in her armpits.

"Just a moment, Miwa," Kate said, seeing her discomfort. Beeeep. "One-thirty-six over eighty-eight."

"Maybe a little anxious; we'll watch that." Kate said. "Miwa, we'll be taking your bp every few minutes during the test, ok?"

Miwa said nothing, but quietly groaned.

"I see no obvious issues with her EKG..." Kate said, looking up at the monitors. No PVCs, rhythm looks ok. Lets get her medicated and see what's what. Let's set her up on an RT." The tone of the room suddenly shifted. As if following a script, the nurses started to set things up around Miwa and the exam table.

Sarah placed her hand on Miwa's back. "Honey, I'm going to take your temperature now. I'd like you to lay down on your side."

Miwa instinctively began to lean over, following the nurse's gentle pressure. "Wait, why?" She asked.

"We're going to place a rectal temperature sensor," Dr. Kate said, impatiently. "You'll need to wear it for the duration of the test."

"Okay, let's go. And let's puncture her for an IV."

=====

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[macgyvermedical]

what kinds of medical type careers exist for people who can't handle much physical strain? i'm fascinated by the ways the human body breaks but also frequently personally subjected to it

So.

Depends on how much school you are willing to do/can tolerate.

If you're looking for something that takes mostly on the job training or minimal training, look into becoming a hospital sitter (sometimes called a "patient companion"), a referral coordinator, front desk staff at a doctor's office or emergency department, or a hospital unit secretary. Hospital sitters are individuals who sit with patients who are at risk of harming themselves or need frequent re-direction. In-person hospital sitters need to stand and help patients occasionally (but it's a lot less physicality than a nurse's aide/CNA since it's only for one patient). If you can't do that, being a video sitter means you don't need to get up at all- it's all done from an office setting on a computer. Referral coordinators call specialists offices and coordinate appointments for patients, usually working through a primary care practice. Front desk staff checks patients in for appointments/ED visits, takes insurance cards, and sets things up for billing and coding. Hospital unit secretaries coordinate paperwork on a hospital floor, prepare physical charts, and check people in and out in the computer system, among other things.

If you're looking for something that requires some school or training before the job, think of scribing, billing/coding, or being an EKG monitor. Scribes take notes as doctors do their patient interviews and exams, and prepares those notes to file in a medical record. Billing and coding reviews medical charting and submits requests for payment to insurance companies. EKG monitors watch patients continuous EKG strips for irregularities and alerts the nursing staff if something is going wrong.

Hospital administration generally requires a bachelor's or master's degree.

A note on nursing: while there are plenty of jobs for nurses that are not physically demanding, including telephone triage, chart auditor, quality assurance, and insurance reviewer, nursing school is the unfortunate sticking point. Having been through nursing school I can say it is extremely physical and clinicals (which are a lot of the training) are heavily dependent on being able to do hands-on patient care, which can be very hard on the back, knees, and feet.

That being said, having worked with medical students, if you can fight the system well (the challenge is more the ableism than the actual demands of the job) it is much easier to get a physical accommodation in medical school. So if you want to be a doctor or a physician assistant, that is definitely a route you could look into.

[justmeinadaze]

Ghost in the Machine Part 4 (Eddie X You)

Warnings: Daddy Rockstar Eddie X Sub Fem Stripper Reader, SMUT, spanking, minimal degrading, strip teasing, FLUFF, they like each other, ANGST, Some of the negatives of Eddie's rockstar lifestyle spills into their relationship and reader has to put Eddie in his place, utilization of the handcuffs, Eddie talks about his last relationship and why it ended.

Word Count: 5704

Series Here

You grin as you watch Corroded Coffin in the recording booth working on their new track. Eddie seemed to almost go into a trance when his fingers moved across the strings and it added to the enigma that was this particular metalhead. You had your arrangement now for a couple of months and true to your word you were trying to be more open with him. In turn he told you more about his childhood and your heart always broke for him the more he expanded on his relationship with his father. 

Today he had suggested you come see him and the band record. Everyone he introduced you to was extremely polite and didn’t pry into your relationship with him or your personal life in general. 

“Good job you guys. Hey, Ed, that riff really does work better. Good suggestion.” Eddie gave him a thumbs up as the man behind the glass smiled. “Alright boys. You’re free for the evening.”

“Hey Wes. Is it ok if I stay behind?”

“Of course, Eddie. Just shut everything down when you’re done.”, he chuckles.

After everyone leaves, he beckons you with his finger to come into the recording booth with a big, tooth filled grin. 

“That was amazing.”

“Thank you. What did you think of my skills? Think it can get us bumped to number 4 at least on the billboard charts?”, he teases.

“Oh, at least. What do you hear in here?”, you ask as you pick up his headphones. 

Eddie grins as he sits on the stool beside you and plays some notes on his guitar that you hear clear as day through the little speakers in your ears. 

“In there they play some of the stuff we’ve already recorded and I play against it.”

“That’s cool. How did you get to be so good? Just a lot of practice?”

“Mhmm and alone time in high school.”, he chuckles as he holds his guitar out towards you. “Do you want to play?”

“Oh, Eddie. I’ll break it.”, you giggle. 

“You won’t break it, sweetheart. Come here.” Tugging on your sleeve, he moves you between his legs and helps place the straps on your shoulder. “There we go. Now just put your hands here.”

Long removing the headphones, his chin was resting by your ear as he gave you instructions in a low gravelly tone that had you biting your bottom lip.

“Good. Good girl.” He gently guides your fingers along the strings and to your surprise a melody actually forms making you smile at him with pride. “Do you recognize it?”

“I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time I keep the ends out for the tie that binds Because you're mine I walk the line.”

Eddie grins as he nods and sings with you. 

“I find it very, very easy to be true I find myself alone when each day is through Yes, I'll admit I'm a fool for you Because you're mine I walk the line.”

“My uncle used to play that record all the time.” Lifting your palm, you grip his chin and bring his lips to yours. “I wish you didn’t have to work tonight.”

“I know. Maybe tomorrow we can go see a movie or something.”

“We can watch something on our big ass tv.”, he chuckles but it tapers off when he sees that look he’s become all too familiar with on your face. “I know, baby, I know. I just—”

“You’re trying to protect me.”

“You saw the pictures with Ashley. I don’t want you to have to go through that.”

“Eddie, I feel like I’ve gotten better at being more open with you.”

“You have, sweetheart.”

“So, you know what I’m about to say scares the hell out of me.” Eddie exhales as he prepares for the worst. “I like you. I like you a lot. I…I want this…”, you gesture between the two of you. “…to be something more than just an arrangement. But we can’t do any of that if we’re stuck inside all the time.”

He tugs you into his arms and kisses the top of your head. 

“I like you a lot to. We’ll figure this out, Y/N. I promise. I want you to be a part of my world but that includes all that other bullshit.”

***

“Did good tonight, honey.”, the bartender at the strip club smiled at you as he slid over a shot that you eagerly knocked back. 

“Thanks Luis. Would you mind walking me to my car?”

“Not a problem. Let me get Jace to cover real quick. It will just be a moment.”

Nodding, you lean against the bar as you wait, turning your head to find a gentleman at the end of it staring at you. 

“He’s right. You danced very well.”

“Um, thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“I did. I enjoyed the song choice to. I’ve always wondered how strippers choose what songs they move to.”

“Oh, I just look through the inventory and select from there. The owner has a whole Spotify playlist set up so we can practice at home.”

“That’s pretty cool. Does he have any Corroded Coffin on there?”

Your head jerks towards him giving him your full attention. 

“I mean, you can’t exactly dance to their type of music. Mosh maybe but…”, you giggle trying to hide your nerves at his line of questioning. 

“I’m a huge fan of their work especially Eddie Munson. He’s a phenomenal guitarist but a bit of bad boy. I heard he’s been seeing someone new.”

“Who are you?”

The man smiles as he rises from his chair and extends his hand out to you which you promptly reject. 

“I’m Casey Reed, a journalist for a very esteemed website. Supposedly, you or “the mystery woman” his fans have been calling you, were seen leaving his recording studio a few times and a police report we obtained said he at your house a couple of months ago. Is he just a friend or…”

“Why don’t you fuck off and mind your own business?”

“So…not just a friend then?”

“Y/N, is this guy bothering you?”, Luis asks as he comes around the bar. 

“Not anymore. I’m ready to leave now.”

“Miss Y/L/N. Here’s my card. Call me if you feel like telling the truth or want to get ahead of this. At some point everyone will find out and even he knows that.”

###########

Eddie charges into the news outlet’s building and kicks open the man’s office door before slamming his palms down on the desk. 

“Fuck. Off. Casey.”, he growled. “You cause enough damage for me and my friends. Leave this girl alone!”

Security skids in but the journalist waves them off assuring them he’s got this covered. 

“Well shit. She must be special since out of all the women you’ve been with you bothered to come all the way down here to defend her.” Casey leans forward on his own hands matching Eddie’s stance. “Or is there something about her history that could cause some problems? To be fair though, it wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary for a bad boy rockstar like you to date an erotic dancer.”, he chuckles. “You know, Eddie, I like you. I really do but did you really think you could just keep her hidden? People were going to find out about her eventually.”

“She’s nothing, alright. She’s just…an acquaintance. Please, Casey. Leave her be.”

***

“Hey, Eddie. I thought I wasn’t seeing you till—”

“We need to talk.”, the metalhead cuts you off as he barges into your home.

“Is everything okay?”

“Look, um, some things are going to change over the next few months and I need you to be aware of them.” Scanning his manic demeanor, you nod as you fold your arms and lean against the back of your couch as you wait for him to continue. “I talked to my agent about Casey Reed and we’re going to kill any stories he may be preparing to write about us. That being said… I have to be seen going out with someone else.”

Your eyes widen as your lips form in a sarcastic pout. 

“Ok, yeah no, I completely understand. Any ideas who the lucky lady will be?”

His jaw clenches as he avoids your gaze. “Ashley Morris offered since the media already thinks we’re dating.”

Eddie’s eyes find yours again when he hears your giggle turn into a full-blown laugh. 

“And if I may ask, rockstar, are you asking me if you can do this or are you telling me?”

“Y/N…this is better for everyone—”

“No, this is what’s best for you.”, you growl. “Did you do this with your last girlfriend? The one you had for 4 years. How did she feel about you pretending to date a model?!”

“Y/N—”

“Just admit it, Eddie Munson. You’re embarrassed of me and the press it would give you being seen with a stripper! You know you really should think about acting because you genuinely had me believe you didn’t care about my profession.”

He stood there with a stoic expression as you continued to shout at him. 

“Whatever. Go enjoy your time with your model. Text me whenever you want to fuck me again because I guess that’s all I’m good for.”, you hiss. 

Without saying a word, he stomped passed you and slammed your front door.

***

“On today’s top story in entertainment news, Corroded Coffin’s guitarist Eddie Munson was arrested last night for disorderly conduct after being found drunk outside of bar in downtown LA and starting fights with a few of the patrons.” 

You sighed as you turned off your tv and got up to start getting ready for work. It had been a week since you heard from him and you missed him so much. There hadn’t been any new stories or reports about you or even Ashley; just Eddie constantly getting in trouble. 

You thought about calling and checking in but what he said had really hurt you. You understood that being a stripper was a taboo in today’s society but you thought you made him understand that you did this to survive and he made you believe he didn’t care.

Obviously, he did if he was willing to go through such extremes to pretend he was dating someone else entirely. 

The sound of your phone ringing brought you back to the moment as you answered for the number you didn’t recognize. 

“Y/N? Hey. I don’t know if you remember me but this is Gareth, Eddie’s friend and bandmate.”

“Yeah, hey Gareth. Everything ok?”

“Um, not really. I’m not sure if you keep up with the news but he’s starting to get out of control. I mean, more so than normal. When he drinks, he babbles about you. We were wondering if maybe you could come talk to him and possibly knock some sense into him. We don’t know what else to do. Our last resort is calling his uncle but Wayne will probably kill him.”, he chuckles. 

“Gareth, I…I don’t know…”

“Please, Y/N. We’re really worried about him. It’s getting to the point where…fuck…we may have to consider finding a new guitarist—”

“No! No, no. Please don’t do that yet.”

You knew how much playing music and his band meant to Eddie. He had given you tidbits here and there about how hard they had worked as a group and how this was always his dream for as long as he could remember. It would destroy him to have them take that away.

“I’ll be there in 10.”

##############

“Ed?”, Jeff called as he knocks on his friend’s door. When he doesn’t answer the man carefully slides it open and you both see Eddie drunkenly passed out on his bed. 

“I got it from here, Jeff. Thank you.”

The boy nods leaving you to your own devices and as you close the door you sigh as you take in his surroundings. The room was trashed; his clothes strewn around all over the place as beer cans littered the area around his mattress and on his dresser. A carton of cigarettes, now half empty, rested near an ashtray on the floor beside his guitar which was leaning against his nightstand.

Remembering something he told you that second night you were together, you went on the hunt till you found the handcuffs you were looking for in one of his drawers. Careful to not wake him, you reach for his wrists, lifting them above his head, and confining him to his headboard. As you leaned back, your eyes scanned over his sleeping face. Even now, he seemed incredibly upset as his eyebrows knitted together. 

Sighing, you threw your jacket to the side as you headed for his bathroom and filled the small cup near the sink with cold water. With one final cursory glance, you exhale as you step into your hardened headspace saved for clients or customers who liked it a bit rougher towards themselves and tossed the contents of the glass right into Eddie’s face.

“Jesus fucking Christ!”, he gasped as his head shot forward. He tried to sit up but was yanked back down by the handcuffs around him. “What…what the fuck is going on?!”

“I don’t know, Eddie. You tell me. What the fuck is going on?”

“Y/N? What the hell are you doing here?” You roll your eyes and disappear into his bathroom, coming back with a long stride as you throw water at him again. “FUCKING GOD DAMNIT! Stop it!”

“What is going on with you, Eddie Munson? According to your friends, you’re causing problems, you didn’t show up for a recording session, and you got arrested yesterday.”

“Let. Me. Go.”, he growls as his angry eyes try to intimidate you. 

“Or what, little boy?” You watched as his growl turned into a full furious grunt as he pulled at the cuffs trying to break free. “You think I’m afraid of you, rockstar? I’ve been through scarier shit with way more intimidating people. Now…if you want out, you have to answer my questions.”

“Fuck you, you fucking whore! You think you tell me what to do?! I can do whatever the fuck I want. Ugh!” He flinched as you splashed him again. 

“You know you sound a lot like my ex. Fucker used to say shit like that all the time but I never had the luxury of catching him of guard and handcuffing him with his own handcuffs to his own bed.” He starts to calm a bit as his eyes find yours. “Eddie, what’s going on?”

“You won’t believe me.”

“Try me.”

The metalhead huffs as he looks away, glaring towards the wall. 

“I didn’t like hearing you say that all you were good for to me was sex.”

“I mean—”

“No. I didn’t like it because I didn’t like that I had made you feel that way especially since it’s not even close to true.” Eddie listens as you move around his room only looking your way again when he feels you sit beside him. Popping open the top of the water bottle you pulled from his mini fridge, you brought it to his lips allowing him to chug some of the liquid before taking it back. “I’m not embarrassed of you, Y/N.”

“I know what it’s like to have those cameras invade your life and the damage it can cause. It’s…It’s part of the reason my ex and I broke up, the serious one.”

“Do you need more water?”

The man blinks before glancing down and shaking his head. “No, thank you.”

Grabbing a nearby towel, you quickly run it through his hair and down his face, drying any liquid you found along his skin. 

“A journalist like Casey did a background check on my girlfriend at the time and showed up unexpectedly at her parent’s house. They pretended to be a friend and got a lot of personal information about both of us. She was so embarrassed…even more so when some of the things they wrote about…got her fired from her job.”

“I offered to take care of her and her family but her last straw was when they published a video online of me and one of my other friend’s leaving a bar. It wasn’t the picture but the story which had the host saying something like, ‘Guitarist of Corroded Coffin seen leaving with playmate Allison Anders. Maybe Eddie Munson has finally found someone more his speed. Can’t imagine how vanilla his current sex life must be now with his current small town unemployed girlfriend.’”

“Why didn’t you do the pretend girlfriend plan you thought up with me?”

“She disappeared before we could come up with any plan. I woke up the next morning and she was gone, leaving me a note and everything. I made sure after that all the papers and tv hosts understood I was the scumbag. I made it seem like I cheated on her constantly and broke her fucking heart so paparazzi and fans would leave her alone.” 

The man’s gaze shifted up to lock eyes with you, the intensity within them causing you to falter a bit. 

“And I would do it again. Y/N, I won’t let them do the same thing to you especially after everything you’ve told me you’ve been through. I’ll look like the bad guy to keep you safe.”

“How martyring of you, Mr. Munson.” He growls and you match him as you square your shoulders displaying confidence. “I know I may not seem strong but I am, Eddie. Believe it or not I can handle assholes like Casey Reed. I told you I struggle with releasing control and allowing people to take care of me. That’s because I’ve done it practically my whole life. Just because I allow you to control me doesn’t mean it erased everything I learned. I can still take care of myself and you as well sometimes if you’ll let me.”

His jaw tightens as he absorbs what you were saying before finally nodding. 

“You have to stop behaving like a five-year-old. I don’t want you to lose everything you worked so hard for because you feel out of control. Remember what you tell me? I need you to be open with me, Eddie. We can figure this out together.”

“Yes, ma’am.”, he exhales as he nods again. Grasping his chin between your fingers, you lean forward to kiss his lips. “Hey, wait. What about me?”, he whines when you stand and head for the door.

“I’ll let Jeff know we’re done and he can release you.”

###############

The following evening you went to work fully diving into your strong, protective mentality as you danced and did your set. As Luis walked you out that night, you both paused when you saw a cigarette smoking Eddie leaning against your car.

As soon as he notices, he closes the distance, extending his hand as he introduces himself. 

“Can you take it from here, Y/N?”

“Yeah, babe. Thank you.” Luis nods before jogging back inside. “I see Jeff decided to set you free.”

“After some begging and admissions of how he’s way cooler than I’ll ever be, yes he did.” He grins when you softly smile. “I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me. There’s a 24 hour diner around the corner here. I was thinking we could walk since it’s actually not a thousand degrees for once.”

“Are you sure, rockstar? What if people see us together?”

“Then they see us together… Honestly, I don’t really care about you. I just want that delicious bacon, egg, and sausage sandwich thing they have over there.”

Your smile grows as you gesture with your head towards the sidewalk and he begins to follow beside you. 

“I’ve never tried it.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re missing out. It kind of reminds me of something my uncle used to make for me before school when I was growing up.”

“Yeah? I was always in a rush so I would just grab a Pop tart or an Eggo.”

Eddie laughs as the back of his hand brushes against your own. 

“Same especially since I slept till the very last second! But my uncle works overnight at the plant in our town so he would make it as like a quick meal before bed and left one for me on the counter near my lunch box.”

“He sounds like a good man.” 

Your fingers intertwine with his and he sighs through his nose with relief as he beams down you.

“He is. Wayne comes to the shows especially when we are in Indiana so hopefully you’ll meet him sometime soon.”

***

“It’s good right? Told you!”, he boasts after watching you take a bite of the sandwich he recommended. 

“Okay, okay. Calm down, Mr. Munson.”, you giggle.

Eddie’s eyes scan over you as he takes a sip from the coffee in his cup. 

“I know you’re strong.” Your eyebrows knit together before he explains. “You said you may not seem strong but you are. That me taking care of you doesn’t erase that. I know how strong you are. It’s one of the many things that attracted me to you.”

“Hm. Because you like putting a tough girl in her place?”

“No. Because I like knowing that even though you can take care of yourself, you trust me enough to let go. As you noticed…sometimes I struggle doing the same…but that has nothing to do with me thinking you’re weak or something like that. I’m just—”

“Scared?”

“I guess you could say that.”, he grins. 

“I can understand that. The few times you did let go you lost your parents and then the woman you love.”

“Jesus Christ. Where did you get your psychology degree, princess?”

“At the college of life, Mr. Munson.”, you laugh and his grin grows. 

“Excuse me.” You both turn your head at the sound of a voice and look up to meet the eyes of a young man standing next to your table with a baby swaddled into his chest. “I’m sorry to bother you while you’re eating. I was wondering if I could have your autograph Mr. Munson for my son here.”

“Yeah, sure. What’s his name?”

“Stephen with a ph.”

“That’s cool. I have a close friend in Indiana named Steven with a V.”

“Is little man having trouble sleeping?”, you ask.

“Yeah. Since my wife spends all day with him, I look out for him at night. Since he’s got a good loud set of lungs on him, I take him for a drive which is how we discovered Corroded Coffin. One of your songs came on the radio and he stopped crying instantly. He loves the guitar solos.”

“Maybe you have a little rockstar in the making here.” The dad smiles down at you and extends his hand for you to shake. “Hey, um, here. Give this to your wife. I’ve had this in my bag forever but I never use it. I imagine a new mom would love some pampering.” The gentleman beams at you when you hand him a card for a free full spa day.

“Thank you both so much. It was such a pleasure meeting you!”

Eddie shakes his hand and you two watch him as he runs excitedly to his car. 

“Well, aren’t you just an angel.”

“You’d be surprised how many dancers are struggling mothers. I know what it’s like for them just needing a time out and day for themselves.”

############

“Oh, you cleaned. I feel special.”, you tease as your eyes look around his straightened-up room. 

“Yeah. Some girl came over and threw water on half my stuff so…”, he shrugs before smirking in your direction. 

“I’m sure you deserved it.” Grinning, you lay down on his bed and he follows your lead, jumping on to the mattress by your side. Your lips reach up to quickly find his. “I missed you.”

Softly smiling, his palm caresses your face as he leans down to kiss you again. 

“I missed you to. I’m really sorry, baby girl. You know, you should feel special because no one has ever gotten the drop on me to get these cuffs around my wrists.”, Eddie chuckles.

“It’s not hard when you’re passed out drunk.”, you tease. 

“Will you let me make it up to you, sweetheart?”, he coos as he rubs the tip of his nose along yours and down your cheek to your ear. “Will you let Daddy make you feel good?”

“Hm. I don’t know, Daddy.”, you tease. “You did disappear on me. You broke the rules.”

“Do as I say not as I do, baby.”, he smiles, kissing your cheek. “But, no, I hear what you’re saying. You think I need some form of punishment. What do you think, hm? A spanking?” Eddie sticks out his tongue, wiggling his eyebrows playfully and melts as he listens to you laugh.

Pushing on his chest, you sit up and guide him to stand in front of you. 

“I think you should show me some of your moves, honey.”

“You want me to strip for you? Sweetheart, that’s more of a punishment for you because once you see my moves, you’re never going to want to leave.” You cackle, biting your bottom lip as he grinds his hips in the air. “Well, I need a song right? Pick one.”

Browsing through his collection, a mischievous grin paints your face when you find something and press play. Listening for a moment, he smirks at your choice before nodding as he sways his body to the music. 

“I made another mistake, thought I could change Thought I could make it out Promises break, need to hear you say You're gonna keep it now.”

The skin between the tears in his jeans touch yours as he places himself directly in front of you, looking down at you with that intensity that makes you blush. Continuing to slowly move side to side, he gradually descends onto his knees as his palms glide up and down your thighs, opening them wide as he stays between them. 

“I miss the way you say my name The way you bend, the way you break Your makeup running down your face The way you touch, the way you taste.”

Tossing away his shirt, you can’t help but scan his upper torso with your eyes hungrily. The way his guitar pick chain hung around his neck with his bare chest drove you crazy. Licking his lips, he rose to his feet, thrusting slightly as you rolled your eyes playfully. Taking a hold of your wrists, he guided your hands along is body, grazing the bulge in his pants ever so slightly before letting you go and backing away, his eyes never leaving yours. 

“When the curtains call the time Will we both go home alive? It wasn't hard to realize Love's the death of peace of mind.”

The image of his slanted, cocky smile as he unbuckled his belt will forever be burned into your brain but that was nothing compared to the sight of him taking off his belt in one go around his forearm and tossing it to the side. People never understood there was always a type of dominance that came with stripping. Most men when you danced saw an innocent little girl that they wanted to “control and take care of”. Truth was on that stage you had all the power. YOU commanded attention and control what they saw physically and emotionally. 

As Eddie stood there for a moment with his muscular arms at his side, his tattoos accentuating his chest, and his pants hanging low enough to show you the slight V into the waistband of boxers, you wondered if he was now aware of it to.

“I miss the way you say my name The way you bend, the way you break Your makeup running down your face The way you fuck, the way you taste.”

Unbuttoning his pants, he pushed them and his boxers down, kicking them to the side. Dropping to the floor, he crawled to you, stopping when he reached your feet, and at an agonizingly slow pace, placed soft kisses up your leg, to the inside of your thigh. Cutting him off, your fingers take hold of his chin and tilt his face so you can lean your forehead against his. 

As soon as the song ends, the energy in the room feels like it explodes as your lips crash to his and push him back against the floor. 

With a hastened, passionate energy, Eddie practically ripped your clothes off your body as you continued to grind your hips while you kissed his lips. A heavy exhale fanned your face as you took his cock in your hand and ran his mushroom tip through your dripping folds. Cupping your cheeks in his palms, he held on to you as you gradually began taking him in. 

“Fuck.”

“You got it, baby. T-Take your time.”

“D-Don’t want to take my time.”, you groan as you roll your lower half trying to push him deeper. 

“You want Daddy’s help?” When all you do is nod, his palm comes down hard on your behind. “Let’s try that again. Do you want my help?”

“Y-Yes, yes, Daddy, please. I need your help. Need you to fuck me.”

Wrapping his arms around you, Eddie holds you tightly to him with one hand firmly gripping the back of your neck and the other on your lower back. Bracing his feet, he trusts roughly up into your cunt, hitting that spongey spot inside of you hard. 

“Fuck! Just like that! Please.”

“Just like that, pretty girl? Mmm—fuck—I missed you so much, Y/N.”

While your lips and tongue mingled with his, he continued pumping into you at a steady rhythm that had Eddie swallowing each and every delicious moan. 

“I want…I want…” 

Your eyes opened as the normally confident rockstar stumbled over his words.

“What, Daddy? Huh? What do you want from me?”

As he pushed you two up into a sitting position, your hands clung to the base of his neck as you rolled your waist meeting each one of his thrusts with one of your own.

“You.”

“You have me.”

Eddie’s need filled eyes opened, abruptly meeting your own as he yanked you closer till his mouth was hovering just under your own.

“I want you to be mine. I want everyone to know you’re my girl. Shit. I want to show you off and treat you the way you deserve. I-I want to fucking spoil you and keep you safe. I want YOU.”

Your mouth fell open in a silent moan as you hugged him to your chest, trembling against him as you came. 

“Fuck, baby girl. Feels so fucking good when you cum.”

After flipping you on to your back, he chased his high till you heard him grunt next to your ear and felt his release spill inside of you. 

***

You don’t remember when you fell asleep but when you opened your eyes the next morning, you were greeted to the sound of a softly breathing Eddie beside you as he continued to sleep. He had placed one of his arms under your head to use as a pillow while his other was tossed casually over your stomach. 

You assumed he didn’t want to disturb you and since you both were too far on the floor from the bed, he covered your top half with his jacket and both yours and his lower halves with a small throw blanket.

A knock on his door did nothing to rouse the rockstar from sleep making you giggle as you verbally allowed the person entry. 

“Oh, shit. Um, sorry, Y/N.”

“No, Jeff, it’s ok.”, you beam up at him causing him to blush a bit as he smiles back.

“Hey, Ed. Munson. EDDIE!”

“Hm.”

Rolling his eyes, his friend reaches for the pack of cigarettes on the dresser and tosses it at the guitarist, hitting him square in the head.

“Jesus Christ. The fuck, man?! What do you want?!”

“Good afternoon, Edward. Manager wants to meet with you in an hour.”

“Ok…tell him I’ll be there in four.”

“I’ll get him up, honey, thank you.”

Jeff smiles gratefully your way as he leaves and closes the door. Rolling on to his back, Eddie groans as he blindly pulls a cigarette out of the pack and searches for his lighter. After finding one in his jacket pocket, you light it for him and he grins sleepily as he tilts his head towards it before exhaling smoke away from your face.

Cuddling closer to him, his free hand begins playing with your hair as your fingers gently trace down his chest along his stomach.

“Does he want to talk to you about me?”

“Hm?”

“Your manager.”

“Hm probably…Or scold me again for getting trouble.”

“Should I come with you then?” At your question, his eyes fully open as he cranes his neck to look at you. “I mean…if I’m your girl right? I imagine there’s things I need to know or maybe things they want to talk about when it comes to my job.”

Tossing away his half-finished cigarette, Eddie excitedly takes you in his arms and rolls on top of you as you jokingly groan at action. 

“Say it again. Please. Say you’re my girl.”, he begs as he pushes up on his elbows and caresses your cheeks with his thumbs.

“I’m yours, Eddie. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship but…I trust you.”

His smile widens as he leans down to kiss your lips and presses his face into your neck as you laugh, hugging him to you.

“You’re safe with me, baby. I promise.”

“Okay, okay. Get up and get dressed! You have a meeting with your manager.”

“Pfft, fuck him. I haven’t seen you in a week. I’m spending the day with my girlfriend.”

############

;)

@mynameismothra @hideoutside @micheledawn1975

@mygirlchaos

[inventionvision]

Best Practices for Using Strip Chart Recorders: Tips for Accurate Data Recording and Analysis

A strip chart recorder is an invaluable instrument, delivering a visual representation of variations in electrical or mechanical signals over time. Its accuracy in capturing real-time data makes it a critical tool across numerous industries.

[nugulover69]

What’s better than one Ferengi? Two Ferengis!

You can call these two scoundrels Gitz and Slenk. You could also call them menaces and creeps and anything in between. But one thing you can't call them is boring to be around!

[more info below the cut]

Gitz is well known across the galaxy as theee infamous talent manager; his list of clientele is almost as long as the Rules of Acquisition. He’s also known for the less-than-fair contracts his clients had, being a 50/50 split at best and 90/10 at worst, the poorer and more desperate the client, the more uneven the split.

Ripping off his clients was, unfortunately, the least abhorrent thing he would do, as he often also made them perform sexual favors to any wealthy and highly influential customers. His clientele list is as long as it is due to him dropping them when he felt they had been used to their max profit potential (read: didn't make gangbusters out the gate or saw a massive dip in their sales). If you ask Gitz himself, he'd liken his work to gambling (a totally fun and harmless activity you can do at one of Gitz' many casinos on Ferenginar and scattered throughout the Alpha Quadrant wink wink).

Through a combination of his charisma (partly courtesy of his unusually soft sounding voice for a Ferengi; it’s oddly similar to a Hewmon Texan accent) and having connections with multiple powerful people, his awful behavior went unchecked. But as of recently, his infamy is finally catching up to him; his past clients spreading the word of his misbehavior and those same powerful friends disappearing over time (whether that be Gitz and co. simply growing apart or that person losing their position). A Ferengi of his advanced age (how advanced is not known) could simply retire, but Gitz seemingly isn't ready to quit the thrill of the gamble.

Slenk was one such client of Gitz. Slenk has known Ol' Gitz all his life as his father and Gitz were close friends. Slenk displayed a knack for song and dance at a young age and his father often leased his talents over to Gitz, letting the little lobeling perform at one of his many clubs (only during the day and with 10% of all profits going to Slenk, as enforced by Slenk’s father). After completing the Ferengi Attainment Ceremony, Slenk naturally sought Gitz as his mentor and the older Ferengi obliged (after receiving a generous amount of latinum of course).

There’s was just one slight problem; Slenk did not have the lobes for business, at all. The younger Ferengi was more interested in the creative processes of music, writing lyrics and choreographing his own dance numbers, rather than finding ways to squeeze out as much profit as possible from anyone willing to attend his shows. The latter task always befell Gitz and he found all kinds of ways to do so, like charging 5 strips of latinum per autograph and 10 strips per photo with Slenk.

Eventually, Gitz became annoyed with Slenk putting more priority in music than in business and, viewing him as a lost cause, threw Slenk onto the street to fend for himself. Slenk, incensed at the older Ferengi for "not understanding his creative brilliance" took to the stars to follow his dream his own way.

Fast forward five years and he’s literally crawling back to Gitz with only a few strips of latinum to his name. Gitz, perhaps out of pity or schadenfreude, took Slenk back, not as an apprentice but as his personal assistant. Although, “indentured servant” would probably be a more accurate description. Better than getting mugged by Tellarites, a thought Slenk often has.

Slenk loves to tout how popular and successful he was several decades ago, debatable as it is. For many species of a certain age, he is a “oh yeah that guy” kinda musician; a pop idol Ferengi is a novel thing after all, it’s bound to leave a slight impression, but he was never the multi-latinum record selling cutie heartthrob he claims to be. If you’ve ever heard his decently-charting hit “Love Like Latinum”, it was likely someone playing it to annoy you or to laugh at it.

Slenk would describe himself as a child at heart; everyone else just calls him a manchild. He’s quite temperamental and spoiled, huffing and puffing when he doesn’t get his way. Although he never bucks that strongly against Gitz’s commands, as doing so would result in Gitz withholding his latinum allowance. Gitz isn’t all that annoyed with Slenk’s frequent tantrums, seemingly finding amusement having power over Lil Lobes (a nickname he calls Slenk by. Slenk hates it)

Slenk’s zero business sense can be attributed to two things; his lack of self-discipline and his inability/disinterest in being dishonest. Slenk has many vices that usually cost him several bars of latinum, indulging heavily in food and alcohol chief among them (something visibly apparent given his bloated appearance). He also wears his heart on his sleeve, to borrow a Hewmon phrase; he can't help being upfront abt his emotions or intentions, whether that be expressing his displeasure with someone or cracking under pressure easily when interrogated.

Case in point regarding his uninhibited id, Slenk is exclusively homosexual and will make his disgust of women loudly known without prompting. He’s mainly attracted to other male Ferengis, but he’ll accept oo-mox from a male of any species if they’re willing (this has yet to happen).

Ironically, Slenk’s hatred of women isn’t like that of his fellow Ferengi. He sees no issue with women being independent, not even female Ferengi. This is because if feeemales have the freedom to not be subservient to men, that in turn could mean Slenk isn’t obligated to marry a feeemale aka his worst nightmare. This belief had gotten him labeled as a radical feminist back on Ferenginar and as such he is blacklisted from performing in every establishment there.

Occasionally, people ask Gitz why he bothers keeping someone as unreliable and irritating as Slenk around. And the elder Ferengi usually responds with "He makes life more interestin' Lil Lobes, I'd only trade him for all the latinum in the galaxy."

[linesonscreens]

Let's Read Peanuts (You WILL believe an unremarkable white boy can become president) – July 1958

There are lots of great strips I just don't have room to comment on. I strongly encourage everybody to read the full month at the official GoComics page. Today's month starts HERE.

July 1, 1958

Oh my God, PLEASE MOVE ON! This bit can’t support an entire week of comics.

July 4, 1958

What on Earth…

…is wrong with Charlie Brown’s face? Did Schulz’s pen leak on him or something? Was there just no whiteout available?

July 12, 1958

~googles~

Eh. I would, but I wouldn’t brag about it or anything.

Apparently Van Cliburn was a piano prodigy whose career took off like a rocket around this time in 1958 after winning something called the the Inaugural International Tchaikovsky Competition. Apparently the recording of it was so popular that it topped the charts in a completely unprecedented way, particularly for a classical pianist. From there he basically made a career of playing for just about every head of state, ever.

Like Schroeder, his talents were discovered when he was just three years old and he was known to just spend all his time practicing the classics until 4am every night, so Lucy isn’t just pulling this comparison out of her ass.

He also turned out to be gay. Make of this what you will.

Anyway, he was pretty good and is worth checking out:

July 13, 1958

I choose to believe that this strip happened immediately after the previous one.

July 17, 1958

I know it’s a classic cartoon dog thing, but the way Snoopy talks about cats has always made me just a bit uncomfortable. 

Chill out, Snoopy. Jesus…

July 19, 1958

Linus’s dad is going to lose his shit when he realizes his son used one of his autographed baseballs to play fetch with the neighbor’s dog.

July 27, 1958

OK first off, you did this to yourself and you damn well know it.

Second, just run over and give her the music box while she’s still surprised. The iron is still hot!

Third, It wouldn’t have worked anyway. I don’t know what you did to piss her off but a music box isn’t fixing that shit.

Finally, teenage Lucy will be a nightmare for everyone involved. I’m not sure about the specifics but I’m pretty sure the president will receive a briefing on it at some point.

July 31, 1958

Spoiler: Lucy and Linus later learn to communicate with bugs. I'm not kidding.

And apparently they DO understand us, to an upsetting degree.

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Santana featuring Rob Thomas - Smooth 1999

"Smooth" is a song performed by American rockband Santana and Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty, who sings the lead vocals. It was released as the lead single from Santana's eighteenth studio album, Supernatural (1999). It was originally conceived by Itaal Shur as a song called "Room 17". The lyrics were stripped off and the track was given to Rob Thomas, who re-wrote the lyrics and melody and re-titled it "Smooth", then recorded the song as a demo to play for Santana. After hearing the song, Santana decided to have Thomas record the final version. Thomas originally had George Michael in mind to sing the song.

The single became a chart-topping hit in 1999, spending 12 consecutive weeks at number one on the Billboard Hot 100. "Smooth" stayed in the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100 for 30 weeks and the top 100 for 58 weeks. In the UK, "Smooth" peaked at number three, spending eight weeks in the top 40. The song also peaked at number three in Ireland, spending ten weeks on the Irish Singles Chart. The song also peaked at number one in Canada for a week, number two in Greece, number four in Australia, and number nine in Austria.

On Billboard magazine's rankings of the top songs of the first 50 years of the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart, "Smooth" was ranked as the number-two song overall and the number-one rock song in the history of the chart.

"Smooth" received a total of 85,6% yes votes!

[swiftviolets]

THE SAINTS by The Saints (1968)

The Saints' self-titled and only album was released in the summer of 1968 to local acclaim. The album is mostly garage rock with elements of blues, containing original songs penned by Andy and Warren, as well as a few covers. It was a major hit in New Orleans and the surrounding areas, and their only official single, shot in the dark, topped local charts as well as entering national charts, hitting 61 in the top 100 in the late summer of the same year.

The band enjoyed their success and briefly toured the big cities in Louisiana and surrounding states, but by the beginning of 1969 their fame had begun to dwindle. Internal conflict within the band arose over what direction their sound should go in, and in an attempt to get back into the charts they released another song, that's not fair, but didn't reach levels their previous single did.

In the spring of 1969, the band decided to relocate to Los Angeles, and eventually managed to get a gig performing in a dive bar on the Sunset strip but after a couple of months of mediocre popularity the band parted ways.

Over fifty years later, the album is regarded as a cult classic and copies have since become rare and are sought out by hardcore record collectors.

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LIAM PAYNE (1993-Died October 16th 2024,at 31.''Accidental'' death after a fall).English singer. He was best known as a member of the pop boy band One Direction, one of the best-selling boy bands of all time. Payne initially appeared in the British television series The X Factor in 2008, but acheived global success in 2010 as part of the newly formed One Direction.

Following One Direction's hiatus in 2016, Payne pursued a solo career, signing with Republic Records in North America. In 2017, he released his debut solo single "Strip That Down", which reached number three on the UK Singles Chart and number ten on the US Billboard Hot 100, and was certified platinum in both countries. His debut studio album, LP1, was released in December 2019. During the first three years of his solo career, Payne sold over 18 million singles, 2.4 million albums, and amassed 3.9 billion streams. In addition to his solo work, Payne produced remixes under the monikers "Big Payno" and "Payno". He collaborated with other artists and remixed tracks for both his group and singer Cheryl.Liam Payne - Wikipedia