#stressssssssssssssss

[cinamun]

If both DJ and Dira's Lil Fuckboi Friend Whose Name I Do Not Remember™ are both allowed to walk around high school like they bout good and ready to qualify for AARP, I think Jayce is allowed to REALLY grow out that beard I'm jus sayin' lmaooooo #TeamBringBackTheBeard 🤣

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO first of all, y'all gave poor JayJay a whole complex so now every time even one strand of hair pops out on his face ya boy back in the bathroom like

Now he got hair growing on his back because he can't grow it on his face without becoming triggered. Soon as he get his full beard back y'all gon be sayin Hope done married a sugar daddy and we don't need that stressssssssssssssss

[giacodorme]

stressssssssssssssss

[2334242xiao]

Claw your way inside my body.

I’m stressed,

super stressed. BRB while my brain tries to recuperate v-v

sketches are mine of my husbando and waifu

also isn’t this like a good display of male/female body anatomy, because I swear I need to stop being shit and start drawing gurls

Anyways, I should sleep early. I’m going to be gone all day tomorrow anyways--shit brewing be like. (By early I mean 2 am by insomiac standard) 

Sory i’m not replying to messages- theyre’ giving me anxiety T-T

[notasapleasure]

today is the day I sort out my lifetumblr queue!

fic update this morning, sunday six this evening (probably)

thank you for meme tags and messages I will get to them you’re all lovely <3

[xidaer]

State of Xidaer, 1/3/17

CW: Cancer, depression, thoughts of suicide, hospitals, parental death, money stress

Okay, I’ve been meaning to post an update for a while. I’ve had projects- fan fic exchanges, holiday cards, etc- that have gone half done because of the following reason.

life

gah, let’s go over this piece by piece.

Cancer boy:  He’s living in my g-ma’s house (with her permission) rent free and my aunt has been covering utilities. I’ve been handing him cash as needed and buying him groceries (his work placed him on forced leave of absence so he’s got no money coming in) Unfortunately, due to my uncle’s Parkinson's worsening and my aunt having severe caretaker burnout, there has been a crap ton of stress in their marriage. Why would this matter? My aunt married into the family and she’s the one with money. As such, she’s been the one paying for my grandmother’s very lush assisted living facility since my g-ma’s outlived her savings (she’s 92 now). With stress in their marriage, my uncle is hunting for ways to cut off the need for his wife’s support in that matter. Where would he find that money? G-ma’s house. We had been planning to sell it, then Cancer Boy came along.  Now once CB’s dad dies (he also is super-mega dying of cancer), then CB will have the money to buy the house. But his dad just won’t die. The horrible fact is that his dad at this point wants to die, but for whatever reason despite being more tumor than man, his body just won’t quit.

That’s one aspect of money woes

Money/Health woes: My partner is out of PTO and has been taking gobs of unpaid time off to take care of my metamour(MM), who’s been dealing with her severe depression. Now my MM is in the hospital, not for psych stuff, but because on New Year’s Eve she started throwing up at 5 am and just couldn’t stop. Her heart rate was 145 and held steady at that for over 6 hours. Over the past 72 hours, they’ve figured out that she’s got sepsis (infection of the bloodstream) of gram positive anaerobic bacteria and just a few hours ago pinpointed the gallbladder as the source of the infection. She goes into surgery tomorrow. To say the least, that is stressful. But the money woes are because our bills are higher but my partner is bringing in a lot less money. So I’m just bleeding money between covering our bills and covering CB’s cost of living (not to mention buying more expensive vegan food for my submissive). My credit card is just over 2/3 to its limit.

My mental health: STRESS. I’m the point person for CB, almost his exclusive lifeline. I give him money, buy him food, watch his dog overnight, and I keep the secret of his illness from the majority of people and the severity of it from his cousin who I’m friends with. He goes in for brain surgery on Friday (assuming his vitals are strong enough today) and I’m going to be the one in the waiting room for him. In addition to being CB’s person, for the last several months I’ve been on ‘babysitting’ duty for MM, so my partner could have some time off and go to her Japanese class at night. I’ve had to be endlessly upbeat and reassuring to MM, and to be honest while I love her and she’s family and of course I want her to be safe, I just want to scream sometimes.  My uncle is pulling me into his family drama with my aunt because he’s a lawyer (retired) and just can’t turn it off. He thinks she’s going to try and place him into guardianship and she doesn’t want to be his legal guardian, which leaves me to be that person. He is going to fight that scenario tooth and nail if she actually tries for it. It won’t be pretty. Another stressor is my friend T. because I was the one who took her to the psych ER because she wanted to kill herself. Now I’ve committed to cooking for her a couple times a week the entire month of January because she’s finally doing ECT in the hopes that it will knock out her depression. ECT means she just can’t adult very well so a bunch of her friends are pitching in to make sure she has food and other necessities.  I, of course, still have weekly dinner with my g-ma and my sister pesters me for weekly outings. I’m also her point person and needed to work with her staff arranging holiday pick-ups and her annual staffing meeting for updating her paperwork has to be scheduled within the next month. Oh yeah, I also have my full-time job. With all this going on, my depression has reared it’s ugly head, telling me I’m horrible and wouldn’t it be great to think of ways to kill myself?  Trust me, I immediately set up an appointment with my therapist and vented to a friend of mine. That appointment was tough, but good. I see her again this Thursday, too. So, a lot of my projects have fallen by the wayside and I really appreciate everyone’s patience with me.

[uncloudedjoy]

[ilconteunicorno]

Stressssssssssssssss

Ansiaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

FanculooooooooooK

[vetustamorla]

im in a very "wanna cry but it just doesnt happen" kind of mood

[aadhya-world]

So much stressssssssssssssss

[delinahj]

So much stressssssssssssssss. I want to be happy, but I know I’ll be sad forever.

[har-monika]

brb life spinning rapidly out of control.

[whatamarvelousdisplay]

i really want to just throw something at a wall 

or smash augustus' basketball trophies or anything really

[naeyeo-refreshed]

*clover ;DD

hiiiiiiiiiiii~~~ thanks……(?)

8/10 :OOOOOO this is getting scary…. my face…. /digs camera for decent photo right now/

Send me a ‘♣’ if you want a selca! I’ll post one after I get 10

[aaronday]

  $

[ziegfeldgirl]

Heading to my last 2 back to back finals.

[gh0stfacedkillah-blog]

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