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werejusttouchingeachother · 5 years ago

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Playing With Fire

Summary: You tell yourself not to touch the flame over and over again, but like a child, you only learn once you feel the burn and the regret that comes with the sting

Genre: angst, smut

Pairing: Kai x Reader

Words: 5532

A/N: This was supposed to have only a hint of angst since I’ve never written angst before but I really got carried away and ended up writing a really angsty smut that I’m not all that mad at so yeah, just a heads up

The first thought that crossed your mind when you saw them was that no one is going to believe you.

You wouldn’t blame them either because you had a hard time believing your own eyes as your friend, Sera shook your arm in excitement.

The ride to the club hadn’t been the most pleasant tonight considering all the crowds and traffic on the roads which you had expected since EXO were having their concert at the stadium hall just a block away. What you hadn’t expected was for them to visit the club at midnight after wrapping up the concert.

“You realise what this means, right?” Sera yells to be heard over the music, her eyes shining with the lights reflecting from the overhead ceiling. “We’re basically seeing them for free!”

“I’m going to get a drink, do you need anything?” You ask, choosing to not respond to what she said in the guise that you didn’t hear her. Sera shakes her head in response and you quickly head for the bar.

Johnny, your usual bartender, raised an eyebrow at you as you approach. “Usual?”

You nodded, hopping up on the barstool as he turned to prepare your drink and you jumped slightly as the bass beat suddenly boomed through the club. You swivelled around in your seat with wide eyes, wondering what happened as the DJ increased the volume and tempo, short quick beats reverberating within the walls and you watched the crowd, almost as if in a trance, immediately grew thicker when everyone started moving and dancing to the beat.

As someone who’d frequent clubs often, it wasn’t rare to see the music control a large mass of bodies but the sudden random transition that happened just now was a random bout of surprise.

“EXO’s here,” Johnny said when you turned back around, in explanation.

“Yeah, I know,” you replied, nodding absentmindedly.

“It’s why he did that,” he gestures towards the DJ’s booth. “Crowds are too drunk to notice at this time anyway.”

“Right,” you say in disinterest, hoping he’d get the hint and drop it. You grab the glass that he slides towards you, murmuring thanks.

You turn to your side, watching the crowd and almost like a magnet, your eyes are riveting towards the lean man dancing on the far right of the floor, his body moving like fluid. It isn’t even at the centre of the floor but so captivating are his movements that everyone’s eyes are naturally drawn towards him, giving him his own spotlight.

You arch your back as you lean forward to see him clearer through the crowd and the blue lights overhead shift suddenly to red right as his eyes meet yours.

Kai.

Your eyebrows rise in shock and he smirks, straightening and your eyes widen as his hands grip the hips of the girl dancing in front of him, maintaining eye contact with you as he rolls his body suggestively against hers.

Feeling flushed more than ever, you turn back around to sip your momentarily forgotten gin and Coke, fingers wrapped tightly around the glass. You let the cold drink slosh around in your mouth before swallowing slowly. The image of what you just saw behind you still replaying behind your eyelids; his warm honey skin glowed in the bright lights of the club and his black tank top did nothing to conceal the rippling veins on his bare arms as he moved them around the random girl. You closed your eyes, recalling the stage that you’d seen just a few hours ago where Kai had stood at the centre. His eyes had surprisingly caught yours in the crowd right before the iconic chorus and you’d immediately frozen, not expecting him to have noticed you in such a large audience.

But he did, and if he was surprised, he didn’t show it at all as he raised his arm over his head, bit his lip seductively while looking right at you before thrusting his pelvis to the beat drop of ‘The Eve’.

You sighed deeply, pressing the cold glass to your forehead in an effort to cool your skin that felt as if it was on fire suddenly. You’d thought that your imagination was acting up at the concert hall but seeing him smirk at you right now in the club too, confirmed that yes, he definitely did see you and yes, that’s definitely why the pelvic thrusts had been especially more aggressive and sexual tonight.

Everyone around you had been saying stuff like, ‘Damn, Kai really let the hoe jump out tonight,’ but no, you know better. He’s always been a ‘hoe’ and a petty one too, which was why you were certain he was doing all this purposefully, knowing that you were watching.

“Hey, stranger.”

You froze as you heard the familiar voice behind you, addressing you in that familiar way. Taking a deep breath, you swivel to the side as Kai leans against the sleek black marbled counter, placing himself between you and the barstool beside you rather than sitting on it. In fact, this position had your knee pressing slightly to his side since you’d crossed your legs on your seat. You hated how he was still tall enough that even when sitting on a high barstool, you were on eye-level with him.

He gives you that familiar smile and that, paired with that greeting, takes you back, even if just for a moment, to the first night that you two had met. A cold November night where you’d met literally as strangers, felt an instant attraction that was supposed to be momentary, supposed to have fizzled out but eventually grew into a fire that grew more wild and toxic with time, lasting over two years with you constantly trying to desperately put it out with your tears before you finally decided to leave it ablaze as you packed up and left without another word.

Almost a year later, at a different country in a strange city, you gaze into those eyes that were grey from the lenses he hadn’t taken off after the concert, still holding that familiar intense flame that you recognise well.

“Hello, Jongin,” you reply back curtly, noticing his eyebrows rise as he acknowledges how you don’t respond with the flirty, ‘Hey, Kai’ that was your usual response in the same tone that he addressed you. His cool stature accompanied by the easy-going smirk unnerved you as you wondered if you’re the only one who could feel the terseness in the air.

He cocked his head at you. “Didn’t expect to see me here, did you?”

You raised an eyebrow, retorting, “Didn’t expect to see me at the concert, did you?”

Kai blinked, grinning at your words, leaning forward to you. “Still so feisty, Y/N.”

You glared at him. “And you’re still so…”

Cocky. Selfish. Arrogant. There’s so much you want to say but as a bead of sweat trickles painfully slowly down his purple hairline along his forehead and the side of his face, you feel the words dry in your mouth. Your eyes lock with his intense gaze as your stomach clenches and you want to look away but as always, it’s already too late—you’re already burning in the addicting flame.

You clear your throat, forcing yourself to turn around. "My friend got two tickets," you explain, sipping your drink. "She didn't have anyone else, so I came with. Don't flatter yourself."

Kai smiled, eyeing the glass which you'd just emptied. "Let me buy you another."

You shook your head immediately, shooting him a look as you start to get down. "No, thanks. I'm done."

"Oh come on—”

"I said no, Jongin." Your words are final, the sharp tone making his playful expression sombre for a second.

You're standing in front of him now, his hand gripping your arm as he attempted to pull you back when insisting to buy you a drink but at your words, both of you stop and freeze. His eyes are burning into yours and again, you can't look away. You've forgotten how to breathe and his grip loosens as his gaze searches your face. You start to step back to put more distance between the two of you but suddenly, a tall guy shoves into you from the back as he makes a beeline for the dancefloor. You stumble and Kai's hands are quick to reach out and help steady you, your own hands flying up reflexively to stop your fall except that during the collision, you laid them on Kai's chest in a panic where they rest now.

His hands are around your waist now and you'd be flush against him if it weren't for your hands keeping you separate. Your body is tingling from every inch that is pressed against his, you feel like you could collapse in his grip and your head is screaming at you to shove him off, to step away, to run, to do something but you can't seem to even breathe, nevertheless move as you hear your heart pound in your ears and your hands tingle as they feel that familiar warmth beneath the fingertips, the soft material of his shirt over that chest you had seen so often, touched so often, kissed, bit and licked so often.

Your eyes have absentmindedly drifted down now to where your hands are, various images and memories flashing through your head. All of them heated up your body more as you realise that yes, he was a fire that was perhaps toxic but you couldn't deny that the sex was always so incredibly hot and god, you missed it so damn much—his arms around you, his breath hitting your forehead where those gorgeous lips were hovering over, his warmth, his embrace, him.

Head feeling clouded with lust and longing now, you glance up and meet his eyes that have darkened now with the same emotions that you feel coursing through your veins.

And you realise then that even if you didn't recognise your own mother's voice one day, you'd still recognise the meaning behind this particular gaze of Kai, the one that still made your thighs clench.

You fooled your heart into thinking you'd forgotten him and your heart is mostly good at lying but your body doesn't even try to pretend.

"I should go," you found yourself muttering, your brain and last shred of arrogant pride overtaking the messy thoughts and emotions as they force the words out of your parted lips, your hands half-heartedly pushing on his chest to back away.

Kai blinks, arms falling away in surprise and you're disappointed for only a moment as the warmth falls away before your brain commands your legs to start moving and almost as if of their own accord, they start to turn you around to walk away.

Kai shakes his head and grabs your arm, stopping you completely and you turn your head to him again, eyes wide at his sudden strong grip.

"Let's dance," he says quickly.

You furrow your eyebrows at him in confusion, already shaking your head. "What? No, I can't—”

"Just one dance."

"I can't, I'm here with Sera, she doesn't know about us, no one does, remember? She'll search for me, I can't—”

"Please dance with me," he pleaded, his eyes boring into you with their intensity for the millionth time tonight, breaking down your resolve and guards with every second.

"Just once," he continued. He hesitated before adding, "For old time's sake. Please."

You pursue your lips, frowning slightly as you feel the last of your fight leave you. A sigh escapes your mouth and its enough to get Kai smiling in victory as his hand slips down your arm to wrap around your own instead, tugging you towards the dancefloor.

The music playing is a remixed version of a familiar R&B song, fast and slow at the same time. He stops when he reaches the centre and grabs the shoulder of a tall man with his hand that isn't holding yours. Chanyeol turns around, eyes widening when he sees you.

"Y/N!" You don't hear him but rather see his lips mouth your name in surprise. The others turn around too and you've never wanted to run like you do right now but you can't even try—not when Kai is still holding your hand firmly in his. He doesn't stop to explain your presence and it makes you wonder if it was only him that noticed you at the concert but you don't have much time to think about it as Kai grabs two drinks from the hands of Chen and Chanyeol.

He turns to face you, hands holding out the drinks and you look up at him, hit with the sudden nostalgia of what you two always used to do when you clubbed together—rush to the centre of the floor, grab two drinks from the nearest strangers, down the entire thing and then use it as adrenalin to start dancing crazily, without a care for the world.

You can't stop the smile from spreading across your face as you reminisce the memory, grabbing the drink from his hand. You nod at him and the two of you tip your heads back, chugging whatever was in the glass.

Its vodka and the liquid burns as it goes down your throat but your heart is pumping with that familiar adrenalin, fuelled further by the beats pounding through the walls of the club, and its overpowered by the burn in your chest as you see the lights flicker on Kai's face.

You grin at each other as you toss the glasses aside—Chanyeol is quick to grab them in a panic as he tries to save them from hitting the ground—and throw your hands up, surrendering your body to the music as you let it take over.

You close your eyes, feeling the euphoria spreading from your chest to the rest of your body as you swayed. You feel a familiar grip around your waist and you don't open your eyes, throwing your head back as you dance in his arms.

He pulls you in closer when you don't resist and you feel his body moving against yours, the warmth surrounding you until you can only feel him.

You open your eyes, slowing your movements and see Kai looking right at you, his hands loosely holding your hips as he watches you with a small smile on his face. You weren't a great dancer—definitely not when standing near him, of all people—but when he looked at you the way he was doing right now, the way he always used to whenever you two did this, it made you wonder, even if only for a second.

The lights are shifting colours rapidly again, changing with every beat that reverberates through the club and you think how it'd probably annoy you or hurt your eyes if you didn't choose to watch it reflect on Kai's gorgeous face. Your hands are on his chest again, loosely gripping the material of the EXplOration tank top and you can't remember for the life of you how they got there but you feel yourself regretting opening your eyes because now you were drowning in the flame that burned in his own yet again, more intoxicating than any vodka you've had. Kai doesn't give you much time to regret or even think to step away as he lowers his head, closing the gap between your mouths.

You blame the vodka. You blame the music. You blame the way you felt in his arms again. You blame his addicting fire that is burning you yet again and you know—you know that you'll feel the sting later but for now, you decide to blame everything else in this club right now as you melt into his kiss, arms quickly wrapping around his shoulders as you arch your back to lean more into him.

For now, you decided to just play with fire.

His hands burn into your skin through the thin material of your shirt as they rest on your back and you lean your head to the side to kiss him harder. There's nothing sweet about the kiss—tongues wrestling in desperation, teeth clashing and him harshly biting down onto your lower lip, making you moan into his mouth.

You hear the chorus of curses from the other members as they notice you and despite your eyes being closed, you feel them scurry to stand around you and block the two of you from anyone who might look over in your direction.

You're arching your back until your chest is pressed up against his front, fingers slightly yanking on the hair at the back of his head in the way that he likes it, eliciting a groan from him that sends tingles straight to your throbbing core.

Its only then that you realise Kai has somehow snuck his knee in between your thighs and as you let him kiss you senseless, you'd been grinding on his leg the whole time.

"Guys, you can't do this here around so many people." Suho's voice cuts in like a sharp knife as he says, "Seriously, get a room."

Kai pulls away then as if he realises and you blink hazily, feeling slightly dizzy. You're still pressed up against him, arms wrapped around each other and you blink a few times as you look at him. Almost as if he can understand that your sense is returning slowly with every second and that the regret will soon set in, Kai's eyes widen as he presses a quick kiss to your lips again.

"Hyung's right, let's go," Kai says hurriedly but you're already shaking your head.

"No, I can't." You stretch your arms back to remove his hands from around you but he doesn’t budge as you explain, "I'm serious about Sera being here. I can't ditch her."

"We don't..." He hesitated before tightening his grip on your waist. "We don't need all night."

You narrowed your eyes at him as the beat suddenly dropped and loud deafening beats started thumping through the club. You yelled to be heard over the music, "Are you serious right now?"

Kai dropped his head to yours, mouth moving to your ear, and you wondered if the pounding of your heart was louder than the music. Your fingers tightened around his arm that you'd been gripping as you feel his lips press against your ear, sultry voice loud and clear as he says, "We never did have post-breakup sex, you know?"

Your eyes widen as he pulls away and gives you a meaningful look. Right as the excuse forms in your mind, along with the decision to leave this place right now, he pulls you to him again and kisses you feverishly.

You blame his kiss. Again.

Pulling away yourself this time, you watch the flash of panic in his eyes as he wonders if you're going to leave, replaced by the relief when you instead hold his hand and start tugging him to the far right of the club where the rooms for the private dances were.

Barging into the first one, the order ‘Get out’ left your lips even before you'd properly seen who was inside. A couple hurriedly scrambled away from the other, trying to cover themselves as they glanced at you in confusion.

"I said get out, can you not hear me?" You repeated before they could ask anything and after shooting glares to both of you, they left the room in a hurry, the similar dim red lights not even allowing a clear view of their faces.

As soon as you heard the door slam shut behind you, you spun around to Kai and grabbed the front of his shirt with your hands, yanking him down to your height so you could kiss him. He was quick to react as he grabbed your wrists and pinned you to the closed door, the back of your head hitting the wooden frame as his mouth devours yours. You moan loudly and his one hand frees your wrist, lowering to lock the door at your side without breaking away from the kiss.

As soon as you hear the lock click shut, he slides his leg in between yours and you groan into his mouth as you feel his thigh press into your throbbing heat. You grind against him, desperate for any kind of friction and his hand snakes down to your centre. You breathe heavily as his lips kiss down your jaw and suck on your neck, feeling his cool fingers untuck the shirt from your shorts and slip inside, making you spread your legs further. You're reminded briefly of how he always loved marking you all over by the desperate way that his mouth sucks the sensitive skin of your throat raw, as you notice he is still appreciative of the possessive purple bruises that he loves leaving on you.

You arch your back as you feel his finger enter you, your pussy immediately clenching around him in a grip that had him pulling away from your neck as he groaned loudly in pleasure.

"Fuck, you're so wet already," he hissed against your skin as he stroked you up and down with his long digit, not wasting any time to be slow and teasing. You writhed underneath his ruthless finger fucking, your nails digging into his shoulders harshly as you moaned loudly.

"Kai," you gasped causing him to suddenly pause in his movements. You whine in desperation and open your eyes to look at him, only realising when you see his expression that it was the first time you'd called him by that name tonight.

You don't get the chance to catch your breath as he smashes his mouth onto yours hungrily.

"Say it again," he demands gruffly as he inserts another and fingers you roughly. "Call my name again, Y/N."

Knowing exactly what he wanted—since this definitely wasn't the first time—you arch further into him and thrust your hips to meet his fingers, voice dripping with desperation as you beg right in his ear, "Please, Kai, please just let me cum."

His groan is muffled against the crook of your neck as his finger thrusts into you at a quick pace, speeding after your words. Your moans increase to a crescendo as you feel yourself reaching your high and right then, Kai stops moving his fingers completely.

Your body froze, the sudden stop in stimulation causing you to cry out in protest. You grab the back of his head that was still buried in your shoulder, yanking him back by his hair to gape at him. He keeps his eyes locked on yours, and you know him enough to know that he enjoys the growing sensation of despair in your eyes as he pulled out his slick fingers agonisingly slowly, the sounds of your arousal audible as he slid his hand out of your underwear.

Almost ready to kill him now, you start to say, "You—”

"I'd rather be inside you when you come, Y/N," he cuts off whatever threat was leaving your mouth, effectively shutting you up and presses a soft kiss on your lips.

"Jump," he mutters lowly in an oh-so-familiar order and almost reflexively—your body still remembering it—you do as he says and wrap your legs around his waist, arms around his neck while he presses his hands to your ass and pushes you into him.

Slipping his tongue into your parted lips, both of your mouths caught in yet another heated messy kiss, he carries you away from the door. He sits you down on a smooth surface and you pull away to see that he's placed you on the wide armrest of the leather couch.

You don't question it, more desperate than ever as you yank off his tank top. Roaming your hands down his chest and moaning into his mouth as you feel him groan at your touch, his own fingers are tugging at the hemline of your shirt. You pull away to help him tug it off and his hands are quick at unclasping your bra and throwing it off. His mouth is immediately sucking on your neck, lips travelling down your throat, over your collarbone, between the valley of your breasts before finally latching around your nipple. Your back arches off the seat, thighs clenching around his hips as you feel the sparks of arousal elicited by his tongue and lips, his long fingers massaging the one that wasn't occupied by his mouth.

"Fuck, Kai, please," you whine, fingers twisting his hair in frustration and he pulls away, quickly unzipping and yanking his jeans down. You lift yourself to help him remove the shorts from your legs and start to pull down your panties too but he slaps your hand.

"Leave it on," he says and you watch in almost a frenzy as he pulls his cock out from his boxers. Pumping himself a few times, he lets go of your waist to pull your panty to the side and rubs the head of his cock up and down your slit, spreading your wetness. You're almost whimpering in desperation now, eyes trained down as you wait for him and he raises his fingers to your chin, lifting your head up. You meet his strong gaze only for a second before your eyes automatically shut as he kisses you—softer, gentler and tender this time, the gesture making your heart flutter a bit. Your eyes are still closed as you feel his thickness enter you in a smooth and fluid motion, easily slipping into your wet heat.

Both of you moan in an almost synchronised harmony as Kai groans, "God, I've missed this so much."

Home. You hated to admit it but in that second, in that shared breath and in the unity of your bodies, you and he both knew that this was like coming home.

You wish you could respond the same but you settle for running your nails over his back as you kiss him, not caring that you weren't supposed to—only he could leave marks over you since it wasn't rare for him to take his shirt off, given his profession, and that's how it always was.

Until now.

You expected him to freeze or even flinch like the way he did when you first had sex and tried kissing his neck--he'd pulled away immediately and told you not to do it, that it was too risky, in case it left any tell-tale marks the next day since he had a concert.

But Kai didn't do any of that now. Instead, he moaned into your mouth and that sound—dear god, did it awaken a beast in you.

Was it just a petty vengeance to bruise him, to taint his perfect body with the same reflections of those purple flowers that his beautiful lips always painted on your skin that you were never allowed to reciprocate, to ruin him the way that he'd ruined you, to release all the frustration that you'd never gotten a moment to yell aloud since you'd upped and left all those months ago without even a confrontation? Or was it mere lust fogging your senses into giving him the best angry fuck of his life so that when he looked in the mirror tomorrow morning, he'd see the souvenirs and remember you, in this moment, right now?

You don't know. You didn't even know if you wanted to hurt him the way he hurt you or just wanted him to regret not being able to have this anymore.

Your body, however, did not care for any of your thoughts as your mouth latched onto his neck almost desperately, the urge to absolutely wreck and mark Kai coursing through every vein in you. His soft moans and light tugs on your hair encouraged you as you harshly sucked on the supple skin of his throat until it was reddening, licking and nipping a trail of bruises down to his chest. Your tongue was only able to graze over his nipple before he yanked your hair roughly, making you gasp as his hips stuttered against yours at the new sensation that your tongue had sparked in him. He let go of your hair and Kai grabbed your waist in an attempt to catch you as you lost balance but ended up falling over you as you now leaned back on the armrest with your head touching the seat.

The new position had your hips involuntarily bucking higher and simultaneously Kai thrusting in deeper in what you could only describe as bliss. With his head buried in your chest, he circled his tongue around your erect nipple while a finger had reached your clit now as he rubbed against the bundle of nerves, pounding you into the couch until your legs were trembling around his body. The panty that he hadn't taken off was still stretched over the side that Kai had pushed it too, the slight restraint creating a sense of tightness in your walls that he was thoroughly enjoying as he thrust into you.

"K-Kai," you stuttered breathlessly, hands clutching his back as you felt him fill you deliciously, the warmth of his erection as he thrusts into you. Your head was slapping against the leather seat of the couch and you were beginning to see spots in your vision as the sensations all surround you together in a perfect orchestra—his thickness stretching you out, his finger relentlessly circling your clit and his mouth overstimulating your nipple.

You moan and arch your back as you feel that familiar tightening in your stomach and you feel cool air suddenly hit your wet breast as he pulls away. You open your eyes to look at him and as soon as your eyes lock with his, that were already focused on you, where his chin rests between your breasts, he grabs your wrists and pins them to your sides on the armrest, pulling out and shoving deep into you.

You let out a loud groan as Kai slams into you repeatedly, his hips thrusting without mercy as he fucks you hardly and roughly into oblivion. You don't look away, knowing that what he wanted was to watch you as you came—yet another sight he enjoyed.

But as your orgasm crashes down on you, you can't help throwing your head back with your eyes closed, lips parting as you feel it hit your body in waves. You shudder underneath him and whimper as he doesn't waver in his rough fucking, eager to chase his own high. Your legs have almost gone numb but you force yourself to raise your thighs and wrap them tighter around his waist, clenching the walls of your pussy around his cock and it's enough to trigger his orgasm as he floods you with warmth, filling you up in that familiar delicious way that you'd missed so much.

Heavy breathing fills the air as the two of you pant, your head slightly clearing as you finally see the ceiling which had been blurry all this time.

Kai rests his head on your chest, ear pressed to your heart and you feel him smile, knowing it was probably because he could hear your heartbeat that was still erratic. Your body is burning and he lifts his head to look at you, catching you off guard.

And then, he smiles.

He smiles that same smile, drawing you like a moth to a flame and it’s enough to finally hear those warning bells in your head now as your eyes widen, hands going to his shoulders in order to shove him off you harshly.

Kai's eyes widen as he detaches from your body, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he watched you quickly adjust your soaking panties into their original position and get back into your shorts.

"What are you doing?" He asks, frowning at you.

"Leaving," you mutter as you grab your shirt that was tossed on the floor and you don't even pull it on properly in your hurry to reach the door but Kai is quick to grab you.

"What the fuck?" He seethes in disbelief, eyes narrowed into slits as he holds your arm in a death-grip. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"'We don't need all night,' remember?" you mocked his words from earlier, the bitterness evident in your tone. "You wanted post break-up sex and you got it. So I'll leave now before I do more things that I'll regret."

You don't wait for him to respond as you quickly unlock the door and step out of the room. You close it behind you and quickly manoeuvre through the crowd to get to Sera in order to get the hell out of here before things could get worse.

And you know they would. Because like an idiot, you'd played with fire again and not even five minutes later, you could already feel the burn.

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