#strawbin’

[sleepystawbie]

Soap gets into melting shit now he's not allowed to blow shit up. Gets a furnace and melts all the Diet Coke cans Ghost accumulates into metal bricks. It’s better than legos. Builds a little fort out of aluminium ingots.

Then that’s just not enough anymore. He needs more.

He starts nicking things from inside the house to break up and melt down. Ghost swore they had a toaster yesterday…

Ghost: JOHNNY! WHERES THE FUCKING TOASTER?!

Cut to Soap, in his little barn at the bottom of the garden, giggling while melting what was formerly their toaster into molten metal and casting a solid metal willy for the fun if it. He's going to send it to Price with insufficient postage so he has to go pay the difference and be extra annoyed. Maybe he’ll even open it up right there in the post office for everyone in the queue to see.

He might not have access to military grade explosives anymore but he’s not gonna let that stop him from giving Price more grey hairs.

[theloonatic]

THE FIRST STRAWBERRY IN MY GARDEN HAS STARTED TO RIPEN OMG

[communistkenobi]

strawbin out

[punkgardener]

WERE HOME BIG GARDEN UPDATE

The strawberrys are strawbin' off (that's the biggest one in a while)

The pumpkin is doing good but has taken to beginning his declaration of war on the tomato and herb portion of the garden, the strawberries are holding the line, And LOOK! there's a female flower on there! (I'll probably make a post distinguishing the two flower sexes at some point)

The calendula seeds I planted in the garden before I left are doing good, I can now definitively say that they're calendula and not a weed (I may make a blog post talking about calendulas uses)

Salvia and lantana are doing great!

And here's my new Yarrow, already starting to bloom, I've forgotten the name of the variety but from the tag it looked like it'll be my favorite color, red!

Alas the peas are not doing well and I'm not entirely sure why, I think it may be something to do with the heat because if I remember correctly they don't like heat

And here we see a new development which has sprung up, in what I thought was a dead garden box we have thyme! I already have another variety of thyme but hey, I say more the merrier!

My bumblebee tomato is outshining everyone currently having produced two tomatoes, my delicious tomato's which are growing in the pot have made flowers but nothing has pollinated them, I think I'm going to have to go in with an electric toothbrush if this continues

And finally the American black cherry in my yard is producing A once in 5 years super crop, also referred to as a "good crop" (I like super because this thing is crazy) they aren't ripe yet, they turn solid black when they are and I'm worried they'll be at peak ripeness by the time I go on my big trip, which would suck because my friends were planning on coming over and helping me harvest them and make food. Here's to hoping though!

I have reached the limit of pictures I'm allowed to put on this post, just know that the nasturtiums are doing great (I'll make a separate post on them in the near future)

[sleepystawbie]

I don’t go here but I’ve never seen a man with nipples as small as, if not smaller than, my husband’s.

Ok. That’s all.

Jon Bernthal as Frank Castle THE PUNISHER | 2.01

[mystarsinthesky]

The only thing I thought about for 4 hours today

[skzretro]

. . . strawbin emo !! <3 🍓

[sleepystawbie]

Hahahaahhaaaa. Road trip movie with Ghost’s peachy rump?

@echo-arctrooper fancy a go my darling?

NO CHEATING: You’re starring in a movie with the last person saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title. Who/what is it?

tagged by @fornhaus 🤍

tagging: @xellnikov @life-or-something-like-lt @brandnewhuman and anyone else wanting to do this

[sleepystawbie]

Ghost is the 141 Hydration Homie. He’s lived through severe dehydration and no way is he letting his team go down like that.

“HYDRATE OR DIE!” He bellows, throwing bottled water full force at their heads.

“Open yer gob.” He demands, checking Soap’s tongue to gauge his hydration level.

If he’s not happy he will literally hold Johnny’s head back, wedge his mouth open with his thumb, then pour bottled water into his mouth and force him to drink. He thinks the flush over MacTavish’s cheeks is caused by the heat, no clue that him going full Daddy Mode is doing things to the poor bloke.

He also doesn’t realise that he only takes a hands on approach with Johnny. He’ll stand over Gaz meaningfully until he cracks open a bottle and drinks a respectable amount, he’ll toss a bottle at Price’s head and knock that fucking hat right off it but even he doesn’t get the rough handling his favourite sergeant does, he’ll scream at any borrowed Marines to “Drink up, then gear up; let’s get EVIL!”

Hydration Homie Ghost WILL know if you’ve not had your full 3 litres.

[unseeliej]

Strawbin'.

Strawbin’.

Okay! Hear me out. We… went strawberry picking. If you’ve been following this blog, I know what you’re probably going to say. “J. You already accidentally bought 47 strawberry starts. You were concerned about what you’d do with up to 140 pounds of basically-almost-free strawberries. Why did you go pay to pick strawberries somewhere else?” You’re right. This was part of a meetup with one of my…

[sleepystawbie]

Fuck it. French Roach.

Dudes last name is Roche (Ro-sh) but everyone pronounced it wrong and my guy stopped caring.

He’s silent because Ghost kept talking shit about his accent so now he doesn’t say a word out of French pettiness.

You wanna talk to Roche? Say his name right and ask about chasse dogs, he loves chasse dogs.

Do I know roach is American. Yes.

Do I care. No.

[sleepystawbie]

There’s a monster under wee Johnny’s bed.

Ever since they moved to Manchester there’s been something that makes weak little sniffling noises when he’s trying to go to sleep. When his mum puts the light out and closes the door. When he’s alone in the warm dark and just about to drop off. It sounded like crying, like the very quiet weeping you did when you were scared or upset but didn’t want to be found.

Johnny hasn’t needed a nightlight in months, a little orange glow in the shape of a worm that had kept him company for years. It stayed in the plug but he never flipped the switch to turn it on anymore. He was a big kid now, was gonna be an older brother.

He kept it off even after they moved into this old house that his dad bought cheap and fixed up for them to live in. He’d overheard his dad telling mum about how bad it was one night when he’d gotten up to go to the loo after too much apple juice before bed. How there had been holes in the plaster the approximate size of a fist, that there was a stain in John’s room that might’ve been blood. He’d shuddered and gone back to the safety of his covers after that and thankfully not heard the rest.

His mum talked to people, that was her job. She helped them feel better, just like she did for Johnny. She’s said if he was scared he could put his nightlight on and that was okay. Sometimes people needed a little light to sleep better. He could do it to see if the monster didn’t keep him awake, like the experiment they did at nursery with the vinegar and the baking soda, just to see what happens.

Wee Johnny put the nightlight on when his dad put him to bed that night. The sniffling was replaced with a gentle little voice, one that sounded as small as John was, saying “Thank you.” John thought he imagined it, that first night.

There wasn’t a monster under Johnny’s bed. There was a boy named Simon, and he was only there at night. He hid under the bed from his own monster and he liked the nightlight. They talked sometimes, but mostly they were quiet together. Simon liked to be quiet. It kept him safe from his monster.

One night in his little whisper of a voice he said, “He never comes to find me now you’re here. I think it’s safe if I sleep now.”

Then Wee Johnny didn’t need the nightlight again anymore.

[sleepystawbie]

Ghost referring to Soap as “‘er indoors” revolves around in my head like kebab meat.

“Sorry mate, love to but ‘er indoors says I need’ta cut back on the deep fried foods.”

“Havin’ an ‘ell of a time with ‘er indoors over the bathroom reno. Never even knew tiles came in so many varieties.”

“Oh thanks, ‘er indoors got it me last crimbo.”

Northern git Ghost forever.

[sleepystawbie]

It’s all “Ghost can’t drive” which is true, but it’s never why Ghost can’t drive.

Well, here’s my take:

Baby boy joined up at 16, learned how to drive by sneaking out at night and messing around in an armoured jeep the MTO left unlocked. Got his licence though the MOD test and the instructor was pretty impressed with his performance so they sent him to get certified to drive the heavy shit.

With his first proper pay check he then bought a two wheeled beast too big for him to handle and fell off it until he was the boss of it. With his first big deployment check he bought a 1988 Triumph Bonneville and exclusively rides that around when on home turf.

Because of this my lad will crash a ford focus soon as he puts a foot on the pedal but give him a SLR and you won’t feel a single bump on a dirt road. It’s why when they retire, Simon and John buy him a massive Chelsea Tractor for him to swing around their back roads.

[sleepystawbie]

Ghost in Lt paperwork mode, going through after action reports and a certain someone’s sprained knee biff chit comes in from medical.

“John K MacTavish, eh?”

Now what does that K stand for? Most likely he’s named after his father, Simon knows the man’s name started with a K and his death would explain why Soap was so secretive about it. The reminder might give him some pain.

Then one day when they are finally together properly Simon gets so exasperated with his fiancé that he yells “John Keir MacTavish! Put that muffin down!”

And he does, puts it back with the others Simon made with John’s mothers recipe for Fey’s school bake sale, but he looks puzzled.

“That not my middle name.” He says with a confused look.

“Yes it is, I’ve seen your paperwork. John K MacTavish. K for Keir, your dad, right?” Simon scrubs harder on a tough spot baked into the muffin tin, the crust comes away and he huffs in triumph.

Soap chuckles and shakes his head, “if only it were.”

“Wot?”

“You’re gonna laugh, everybody does.” John sighs, a look of resignation crosses his face, “it’s Kirby.”

Simon’s brain rearranges itself to fit this piece of information, “The little pink round guy?”

“Yeah, but no.” John turns and puts the kettle on, this might take some explaining.

Kirby, his dad had thought it sounded cool. He’d never played a video game in his life, how was he to know?

Ten minutes later the two are sat at the table with the desecrated remains of four muffins and two steaming cups between them.

“It’s not too bad once you get over it.” Then Simon offers for the sake of diplomacy, “Mines Clive.”

Simon Clive Riley and John Kirby MacTavish.

Simon Clive MacTavish, John thinks, that’ll do.

[sleepystawbie]

Finally felt the stirrings to write a fix-it fic. Had to put my beloved baby boy through the wringer still, otherwise who the fuck am I?