#straight up not allowed to listen to the weakerthans after midnight bc it turns me into a feelings gremlin

[cqcandchill]

it’s so weird going through my blog from 8-10 years ago and reading some of the most insane terminally online takes about nothing. but also my god was 19-25 yro me ever going through it in every way… it’s interesting how much fandom discourse was just reactionary bullshit dressed up in progressive language, and how easily those spaces could weaponize a vulnerable person’s trauma, shame and desire to be good. i’m glad i left those spaces and i’m glad that energy seems to have evaporated from tumblr period.

also i sucked so hard as a person… man did i ever suck. i know it’s growth or whatever, being kind to past selves is part of overcoming shame etc, but eugh it makes me cringe so much to think about the dumb idiot i was for most of my early 20s. in public.