#stopped dead intending to finish and simply Didn't
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daggersandarrows · 1 year ago
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having just sort of a Night
#could physically Feel myself getting to that point of “hasn't seen humans in long enough that it's Bad”#this usually hits for me around the 72 hour mark moving up or down depending on how long it's been since i've shared a bad#but it's also that tipping point where i'm in a 50/50 split between “oh i need humans” and “actually what if i just didn't make an effort t#see anyone again ever"#was leaning hard towards option two when meg had to cancel which is when the [i'm in danger] feeling Hit#i don't feel. like. BAD. but i'm having an adjustment coming off gabapentin so i Need to do things that give me purpose#and i was halfway through cleaning the apartment when they called#stopped dead intending to finish and simply Didn't#but i fed myself switched my laundry and did some actual flight rising planning#and finally and i'm most proud of this one#i FINALLY quit my part time job#i fully intended to give them two week's notice but kept procrastinating then got hit with massive guilt which of course got worse#my boss was really nice about it and i guess one week is better than nothing#i have a feeling i'm going to feel much better tomorrow and that my executive function is going to improve bc that was REALLY weighing on m#idk why i just couldn't fucking make myself do it#i even fucking brought it up in therapy fully intending to quit that day#and. Didn't.#oh i also emailed my therapist to discuss esa paperwork! AND i read fetch api documentation in prep for maaaaybe testing into the advanced#code the dream class#i guess i did a lot today it just feels like all i did was sit in front of the tv#i'll feel better tomorrow. i will.#thing is. i'm much better at coping with being unexpectedly alone than coping with being unexpectedly with people.#i know how this works. i'll be okay. i'll be okay#i'm going to finish my audiobook and go to work and code and text my friends#i will be fine#i just feel a little lonely and weird tonight and i need more vitamin d and also to remember to take my meds#thane.txt
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shantechni · 5 months ago
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Aight, so this is something I intended to make a post about eons ago before making a bunch of posts related to it, but some things happened. Anyways-
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The night Leo meets Karai, or rather is ambushed by her, he's thrown for a loop by her unprecedented decision to leave before she could easily finish him off. He's almost instantly putting an unreasonable amount of trust in her after that single interaction, and you can't entirely blame the guy since she was making no attempt to kill him while exuding her mischievous nature and taunting him like they've been buddies for years. Her behavior loosened him up in a way he normally couldn't be because of his duties as a leader. Of course, the situation greatly escalates from there as one thing leads to another, and the turtles are faced with the moral dilemma of accepting Karai for their familial connection with her or shunning her like any other enemy they know as she takes almost any chance she could get to hold a tantō to their necks.
Although none were more expressive with their distrust of her than Raph, there is something interesting to take note of.
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Raph is the first to find out about Karai's existence and the evidently one-sided "friendship" Leo has with her, but rather than immediately go on the offensive with Karai (extremely surprising considering she had Leo pinned to the roof right when he arrived) or accuse Leo of any wrongdoing, he simply demands an explanation from his brother. Raph observed the situation with a level head and didn't judge Leo for anything other than seeming too blasé about Karai being a Foot clan member, or for saying she wasn't intent on killing him when she threw a weapon at his head. Other than that, he kept the matter between him and Leo since it didn't seem to be a pressing issue at the moment. His trouble with Karai only really began in the next episode when he witnesses Leo needlessly showing off in front of her and even going out of his way to hide her from Splinter, Donnie, and Mikey.
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Nothing's stopping Raph from telling everyone, and he certainly doesn't trust Karai enough to leave things as they are, but he puts his faith in Leo and nudges him to come clean about his new found friend twice to their brothers at least. Soon after being told that Karai was 'taken care of' (something he called total BS on), he reaches his boiling point once he discovers her following them, and his frustrations are worsened by Leo going out of his way to defend Karai when she's spelling trouble for them. As to be expected, Leo is forced to confess after she lands them in hot water and leaves them for dead while running off with a Kraang bot, but once Splinter gives him a much needed lecture, Raph forgives him and seemingly stays out of his face about the ordeal. At least until Karai approaches them with a proposition to combine their forces and fight the Kraang, something he surely would've put up more of a fight to shoot down had the others, namely Leo, not agreed to her offer after she helped them fight the Kraang stealth ship.
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All of those instances, when combed through for the little things, are some of the first details the writers gave us to show a major distinction between Leo and Raph.
Raph's temper is so front and center throughout the series that the amount of patience he exercises in response to Leo's asinine decisions and trains of thought (especially early on) has a tendency of being overshadowed. He constantly, and openly, shunned the idea of Karai ever siding with them since he couldn't find it in himself to readily trust her like everyone else could, and even after learning who her real father is, he continued to question the possibility of Karai ever turning out to be good when considering her upbringing. But he still went along with Leo's wishes to help and go so far to befriend her because he knew his brother was simply trying to help someone out of the kindess of his heart at the end of the day, and Leo's only further spurred by her being their sister.
This isn't exclusive to their development with Karai, because we see later on that Raph exercised a far greater amount of that patience when Slash made his theatrical return to the team midway through S3.
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One could make the argument that the writers should've had the midseason two parter focus the slightest bit more on Raph's POV since Slash used to be his pet and Leo was the only one unwilling to believe he'd changed since their last encounter, but I'd say with certainty that the minuscule amount of input we received from him is just the right amount of focus we needed. Raph doesn't blow up at Leo for his treatment of Slash because he knows his suspicions aren't baseless, and he doesn't go out of his way to prove Slash's innocence to Leo (Mikey kind of does that for him lol); he only decided to step in when the two couldn't decide on what plan to proceed with. He plainly moves aside and allows Slash to prove Leo wrong through his own efforts, all while undoubtedly believing since their last encounter that Slash isn't bad anymore and that Leo would eventually come around to make that same conclusion.
The complete opposite of Leo's stubborn behavior when it came to Karai.
Look at Leo's face, he's so silly, a goofy goober if you will
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Even though she went on to turn her back on Shredder, and essentially prove that Leo was right, Raph wasn't wrong to take so much time to see Karai as a trustworthy ally. He recognized that it wasn't enough for her to just be borderline friendly and fight on the same side as them; legitimate effort needed to be put forth for them to warm up to someone like her, and her track record didn't exactly suggest that she'd readily put in that effort. Leo's fixation with turning the tables on Shredder and making things right with Splinter practically blinded him from that simple little truth though. Of course, he learned the error of his ways and clearly followed in Raph's footsteps when confronting Slash and anyone else they'd cross paths with that posed a potential threat, sometimes tending to go too deep into that mindset when he was upset with Fugitoid and Usagi.
They both learned a little bit of something from each other along the way, but the difference in how Leo and Raph grow to perceive the matter of trusting someone is so fascinating to me.
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1800-lemonadeg1rl · 8 months ago
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Jealousy
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Wanda Maximoff x reader ☆
Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆
Summary - pretty much is what it says on the tin. After you try to avoid your crush you find jealousy eating at you.
Warnings: stupid, possibly cringe, maybe a little angst? Idrk, happy ending, jealousy, gay,
A/n: this is the first fic I've written since I was thirteen and I did it just to avoid being involved with my parents fight. Also my grammar probably isn't that great bc I haven't slept in 2 days so pls comment any corrections. Any feedback is so so appreciated
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You didn't know when it had started. How even. But you had somehow become infatuated with fellow avenger and best friend Wanda maximoff. To put it simply you had a crush on her, a stupid schoolgirl crush that was beginning to crash down on your friendship with her.
It was small things at first, avoiding eye contact so you wouldn't blush under her gaze or not sitting next to her at meals. Next it was finding reasons not to hang out alone.
Little to your knowledge Wanda had noticed all these things and had begun to wonder if she'd upset you in someway that maybe you didn't like her the way she'd always admired you. She tried to approach you to go out for lunch to try and apologise for whatever she thought you were upset about but before she'd had chance to speak you'd scurried off saying something about needing to train.
And so life went on for Wanda as heartbroken she was that you seemed to want to distance the close friendship youd shared that she'd once thought could be more she didn't want to spend forever alone and crushed.
Thats when your jealousy started.
"Yeah the date actually went really well last night." You'd heard the sweet sokovian accent ring out across the kitchen as you'd shuffled into get your breakfast. Still half asleep you mumbled as you poured a coffee.
"You've got a date?" It came out a little more territorial than you'd intended. Despite your small efforts to dissipate your crush on the woman you were still annoyed at whoever thought they could date the girl you liked, that you should be with.
Not that you were looking at her but Wandas face seemed to light up when you initiated a conversation with her. After weeks of dead silence she'd want nothing more than to hear your voice which she'd describe as honey like and melodic to the ears.
"Yes, yes I am. A second one actually." You could feel your face redden slightly and twitch in annoyance at the words that left Wanda's lips. A second?! Not only had she had one date with someone else it had gone so well they wanted a second.
"You shouldn't go out with them." The words leave your lips quicker than you can stop them. And you look to see Wanda's face, her mouth open wide as her bottom lip twitched slightly.
Shit. You'd upset her. You'd upset the girl you loved. "I... I.. I mean.." You stammered through your sentence trying to find an exscuse for what you'd said. "I just mean.. your an avenger you should do a background check on them first and.. uh.. make sure you know they're legit and not a spy or something." After saying that you quickly fled the kitchen leaving your full cup of coffee much to the confusion of Wanda who'd had just about enough of the way you were acting.
That evening you were in your room catching up on a drama you'd originally started with Wanda but since you'd decided youd ruined your friendship beyond recovery you wanted to finish it yourself.
Then came a small delicate knock on the door. That was how Wanda knocked. Oh god you recognised how she knocked now, how would you ever get over her?
"I'm working go awa-.." You tried to get out quickly at the door as you rapidly turned the tv down and hoped she'd leave you alone.
Before you were even done your sentence she'd interuppted and responded. "Don't say another word. I can hear killing eve (srry I can't think of another tv show) playing in there. Let me in so we can talk."
You waited a beat thinking about the small list options you had right now to avoid the confrontation at your door, none of which would work or were very smart and would probably be more embarrassing than admitting the truth. So reluctantly you let her in. Twisting the handle slowly giving her all the time she needed to change her mind and leave.
Unfortunately that didn't happen and instead she waited patiently before heading over to your bed a flopping down on it in the ever so casual way she used to. As if no time has passed.
"Okay speak. Tell me whats wrong? What did I do to you?" She asks looking up at you with what looks like anger? No, no it was hurt. Everything from her wide watery eyes to her sweaty palms read that she was hurt and was nervous to why you'd been avoiding her.
"Its not you." Was all you could manage to spit out in the moment. Why had you even avoided her so much when all it had done was harm your best friend.
"Okay so what is it?"
She was relentless, she wasn't going to leave until you explained yourself and your recent actions. Being honest you couldn't blame her if it was the other way round you'd want to know.
"I..." You stare at her gorgeous face eyes flicking between her plump lips and her soft, glimmering eyes even in this moment struggling to make eye contact with her without a blush spreading across your cheeks. "I like you.. as like more than friends."
You watched on as her face contorted. The way she bit the inside of her cheek and her soft eyes hardening in time with your admittal. The hurt was long gone and replaced with an annoyance that you had blanked her instead of admitting your feelings but also a small glimmer of hope that it wasn't too late for you two.
"So what? You didn't think to tell me." She gets up from the bed. "Your rational descion was to ignore me in hopes of what?!" She was pacing now. "In hopes of what?" She repeats and suddenly your also stood up trying to open your mouth to speak but she won't give you the time. "In hopes I'd dissappear or your feelings would and we could just be friends again?"
Meekly you nodded. You had ignored her to try and make your feelings go away.
"Did you not think about me? Maybe I wanted you to have feelings for me. Maybe I want to be with you." She was speaking again and nearing you with each word.
"I.. didn't think you liked me like that.. I thought that you'd hate me."you try and explain my poor actions. "Look I'm really sorry.. I didn't know you felt like this about me."
You grab her arm forcing her to stop angrily pacing around the room and to talk to you again hoping it would calm her slightly. "..please I am. I'm really sorry Wanda.. I've missed speaking to you so much, I've missed you so much." Your further apologies seem to lessen her anger as she realises what you had done was unintentional and you'd never meant to cause this.
"You can make it up to me then."
"How?" She was offering to forgive you and that was enough. You'd do anything to stop her being angry with you ever again.
"Take me on a date."
A/n - I can write a pt 2 or follow up if anyone is interested <33
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gabrielsbubblegumbitch · 6 months ago
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Charlie's corruption arc ✨😈
aka Broken Crown AU inspired by this post because I’ve been thinking about it intensively. So, I believe Charlie's villain arc would start with a great feeling of relief. Imagine: it's been a week since the final battle; it's been a week when Charlie hasn't been able to sleep at night. Others think she's still grieving, but the truth is different. Every night, Charlie cannot fall asleep because she's trying to cope with the relief she felt the second Adam died. She was the one who at first stopped Lucifer from finishing him, just because killing Adam didn't seem right. But when Niffty actually did it, despite everything, it felt right. It felt good.
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After weeks (months?) of looking for a way to stop Adam from committing genocide against her people, after being bullied and humiliated by him, after witnessing how an unjust system enabled his despicable actions while ruthlessly punishing others for far lesser crimes, she finally, for the first time, felt like she had any agency. Just like that, her loved ones were finally safe. They could all breathe again, and all it took was a small act of violence against the person who fully deserved it. This realization changes her. While she doesn't intend to do such things in the future, she can no longer deny that exercising brutal power can be the best solution when dealing with certain kinds of people. This is the very first thing she hides from Vaggie. Not because she's scared of her judgment but because these ideas are so against her own moral values it is simply scary to put them into words.
Maybe I would be capable of killing someone in cold blood. Maybe I'll have to do it one day.
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But Adam's dead, so they are safe, right? And she won't ever have to make a choice like that again. That's some reassurance.
And then, Niffty is killed by Lute. Just like that—Lute teleports to Hell by night and slaughters her in revenge because why wouldn't she? Who would have stopped her?
It obviously hits everyone hard—they just lost another friend. But Alastor? Alastor loses his fucking mind. He goes completely feral, yelling at Charlie and blaming her for everything.
What kind of incompetent fool shows their enemy mercy and lets them live long enough to get vengeance? I cannot believe I thought you could be a competent leader. You are just a fucking child. You are all a bunch of idiots.
Charlie goes through a complete meltdown because she knows he's right. If she had the guts to finish Lute or at least asked Vaggie or Lucifer to do so, Niffty would be alive. She's crying, choking on tears; she feels like a hopeless failure, but Alastor does not give her a break. He seems so infuriated she thinks he would kill her. Fortunately, Lucifer and Vaggie intervene. Lucifer puts Alastor back in his place by essentially beating the shit out of him. Vaggie takes Charlie out to calm her down. She insists that if it's anyone's fault, it's hers because she was the one who spared Lute, but Charlie knows that it's a lie. Vaggie would have killed Lute if not for Charlie's convictions. She fails, and she fails all over again, and it seems like she can't escape the evil. It's her responsibility to face it on equal terms. Otherwise, she won't be able to protect her loved ones.
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After this incident, both Lucifer and Vaggie insist on kicking Alastor out of the hotel. He's too dangerous, too unpredictable. We can't allow him to treat you like this. We don't even need him anymore; there's nothing an Overlord can do that the King of Hell can't.
But that's not the truth. There's something Alastor can do that Lucifer can't: play the game. And now, grieving another of her friends, Charlie realizes she needs a teacher if she wants to stop pieces.
I have like 0 time to write the proper fic but I had to get these out of my system because holy shit I love coming up with elaborate plots I'm not able to execute. Maybe talking about it will somehow scratch the itch.
Also tagging @purrpleowl because she expresses her interest in this idea.
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zeldahime · 9 months ago
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Highway to Pail Day 28
[Day 1] [Prev] [Next] @do-it-with-style-events
February 28: Shellfie.
Moving to the South Downs wasn't a permanent change—for beings as old as they were, nothing like this could be—but it went along with the real permanent change: that Aziraphale and Crowley could be together publicly, loudly, and nobody in Heaven or Hell could take it away from them or stop them. Aziraphale wouldn't Fall, neither of them would be tortured or punished or killed. They didn't have to duck around anymore, meeting in plausibly deniable ways. Crowley didn't have to leave the bookshop through the back in the dead of night so he could be seen emerging from his flat in the morning. Aziraphale didn't have to meticulously track every miracle he performed in the hopes of not exceeding his budget. They could hold hands.
Being allowed to touch, in public, was utterly intoxicating to them both.
And touch they did. Not just holding hands: Aziraphale was allowing his hair to grow, no longer required to keep it regulation-short, and Crowley fussed over it constantly, tying and untying and brushing and straightening and brushing flyaways into place; Aziraphale fixed Crowley's collar and cuffs, straightened his ties and scarves and pins. They walked arm-in-arm, like was once fashionable, or with arms around shoulders and waists, or hands resting on lower backs. When they talked they leaned in, hands on forearms, cheeks brushing.
They both smiled more, and more genuinely, truly and perfectly happy like neither of them had been since their creations; even more so, really, for all the years of experience behind them and for the pleasure of each other's love and company.
On a bright sunny spring day, Crowley suggested they go to down to the coast, and Aziraphale smiled and packed a picnic, and off they went.
The Bentley blasting You're My Best Friend on a loop the whole way (which irritated Aziraphale much more than Crowley, who was used to it), they headed straight down to Selsey to look out over the channel and get their toes wet. Aziraphale had changed into an old swimming costume, cream and powder blue alternating stripes ending at the elbows and knees, which he'd probably had since old Bertie had crowned at least; Crowley remained in his regular miracled suit, and intended to simply snap into a speedo if they went swimming.
Aziraphale's hand rested just above Crowley's knee the entire way, except when Crowley took sharp turns at a hundred miles per hour, when it did not rest so much as desperately cling for dear life.
The beach was deserted despite the sunshine, still too chilly to draw in human crowds. Aziraphale and Crowley walked along the coast hand-in-hand, looking out over the sea toward the Isle of Wight, the conversation meandering from the mechanics of plate tectonics (which neither of them understood) to a dinner party they once attended with Plato, from a confused discussion of Wales and whales to the plot of a Doctor Who episode Aziraphale had watched in 2007. This led Crowley to recount a blessing he'd done while stateside with the Dowlings, which reminded Aziraphale of a temptation he'd done in Czechoslovakia in 1983, which reminded Crowley of selfies. Crowley'd had a hand in selfies, tempting a young photographers to a bit of vanity, and it had succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.
His phone was in his hands before he could finish his thought. He interrupted Aziraphale recounting the svíčková he'd had at a bistro in Prague with a command to "Smile, angel!" This earned him a confused look, Aziraphale turning to ask him why, blurrily captured with the tap of a button and a recorded sound effect of a shutter click.
"Whatever are you doing, Crowley?" Aziraphale asked crossly, irritated at the interruption, and Crowley showed him the screen.
The blurry photograph was a nightmare of composition, but Aziraphale immediately loved it more than any in the world, save one. Crowley was smiling, his eyes crinkled at the edge of his sunglasses, one arm visibly extended to hold the phone and the other intertwined with Aziraphale's, Aziraphale clearly beginning to face him. The first photograph of them had been taken at a moment of temporary relief, taken by an enemy and intended to be used against them. The second was pure freedom, pure happiness, taken by Crowley himself, simply because he'd wanted to.
"Oh," Aziraphale said, voice shaky.
"Yeah," was Crowley's equally shaky reply.
"My dear Crowley, you must print this out when we return to the cottage."
"I—Angel, this isn't the only one this phone can take, we can have a better—"
"I certainly hope we will, my dear Crowley," Aziraphale said softly. "And I want to print this one."
They looked at the phone, and then at each other, and smiled.
"Yeah. We'll print it."
Aziraphale had it framed. It hung as a set with an old photograph from the Second World War in their library, above a yellow Georgian chaise that held a mismatched throw blanket and cushion, one in red-and-black tartan and the other patterned with cream and blue snakes.
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Author's note: This is what came up when I googled "czech food" and HOLY MACARONI IT SOUNDS DELICIOUS. I will be looking for a Czech restaurant that serves svíčková in my area stat.
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taehyungday · 1 year ago
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𝗦𝗔𝗦𝗔𝗘𝗡𝗚 - 𝚖.𝚢𝚐.
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𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀…𝗒𝗈𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗂 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾…𝗒𝖺𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗎
𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍…998
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I'm still not sure how I ended up here, but I was tethered to a chair in a basement of a building. My lips was also taped, so I couldn't shout for help. I just remember walking back to my apartment after a successful concert a few hours ago when I suddenly felt a great deal of pain in my head region. I turned around to find a masked man with a baseball bat smeared with blood, most likely my blood. I awoke here after that. My head was still aching, therefore I got a headache. I could only hope that my fellow members of my group would come here to look for me. But I knew they didn't call me often because our group didn't have a strong bond. And since this was our final show of the tour, and our record label granted us a two-month vacation thereafter, the chances of my members or managers looking for me were little to none.
Then I heard a pair of footsteps approaching. The cellar door was suddenly opened, showing a really gorgeous man with a poker face staring at me. There were also some other men with him who appeared to be his bodyguards. The man with the poker face approached me and pulled the tape from my mouth.
"I'd been looking forward to this moment for a long time." He stated.
I had no idea what he was talking about, so I began pleading with him to help me escape out of this cellar.
"Please, sir, I have no idea who you are, but don't harm me. Please let me go because I have done nothing wrong. Sir, I beg you."
"Unless you disobey my commands, I will not harm you." You'll be living in the basement until you figure out what your role is in the house. I intend to move you from this basement to my room as soon as you start behaving good. You must sign these papers until then." He remarked this as he threw some papers at me.
"Can you tell me what these documents are about?" I stated.
"Sweetheart, don't ask questions; just do what I say or you'll finish up with a bullet in your skull." He remarked this as he drew his weapon. I was terrified.
"Untie her from the chair, Jason, and provide her a pen." He told his men.
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I've never been a big fan of music. Despite the fact that I had a girlfriend who was a member of a Kpop group. Because I was in a mafia gang, I told her to keep our relationship a secret. She didn't even tell her group mates about our affair. She asked me to one of her concerts after that. I opted to go because I didn't have any plans or task. I'm not sure what occurred to me after seeing her. She was simply hypnotic. The way she sang, danced, and laughed was fascinating. I couldn't understand it, but when she walked, everything began to look prettier. Because of her, my cold, dead heart began to beat again. That night, I returned home while just thinking about her, and I slept while her lovely voice echoed in my mind.
I began stalking her from that point on. I began collecting her photographs and glueing them to the wall. I created a room particularly for her, complete with her photographs and artwork. I purchased everything that featured her in a commercial. I even purchased some makeup accessories because she was selling it. My girlfriend began to notice that I was ignoring her. One day she arrived at my mansion and discovered Y/n's room, she was astonished and immediately began wrecking the place. I tried to stop her, but she was deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly deafen After she started spewing nonsense about y/n, my mind became agitated. HOW DARE SHE. That's when I grabbed a nearby wire. Then I strangled her as a result of it.
I alerted the police about her death after she died, and I urged them to cover it up by claiming she had committed suicide. The cops didn't question me because I had power over them.
When the world learned that their beloved idol had committed suicide, they were devastated. They began to lament her death. My darling Y/n was inconsolably wailing. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but I knew it wasn't the proper time.
I couldn't wait any longer after a few months. I couldn't figure out how to love her. But, my God, how much I loved her.
I told my men to kidnap her after a few weeks. That guy, on the other hand, hurt her by striking her in the head. That jerk deserves to perish slowly and painfully. I approached my Y/n after killing him, and just by glancing at her, I could tell she was terrified. What a beautiful young lady she was. I forced her to sign papers transferring her entertainment label to me. Because the ceo was afraid of a mafia, he didn't ask me any more questions regarding the paperwork or the weather-about y/n.
Despite the fact that the fanbase and group members were perplexed as to why y/n departed the group. But I was too engrossed in my alone time with y/n to notice that.
She was a thorn in my side at first, refusing to obey my orders. I began giving her less food and left her completely alone. I didn't even pay her a visit since I wanted to make her feel lonely so she would develop Stockholm syndrome and cherish my company. And that's exactly what occurred; she was pleased to see me. She began pleading with me not to leave. That's how my Y/n figured out her place in the family and began to love me.
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beevean · 4 months ago
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N!Alucard swearing in particular doesn't mske sense because he was raised by the two people in the whole show who actually never swore once and were really refined, not to mention he presumably lived in pretty isolated conditions so there could be no way for him to gain any rude behavior
The show tries to sell the idea that Trevor's behavior rubbed off on him but he was calling his ancestors brain dead hillbillies and overall acting like a cunt as soon as he met the guy
It literally makes no sense for him to be this way even in-universe
Yes, exactly.
It's the same logic of that S4 scene where Sypha goes on a rant because "I said shit, you did this to me!" when this woman literally snarked that she was going to make Trevor drink her piss by telling him its was beer, like, 10 minutes after meeting him. No, you made nearly everyone talk the same, you don't get to paint Trevor as the "crass one"!
Funnily enough, Alucard insulting the Belmont heritage by more or less calling them primitive savages for their techniques does fit the idea that he's a haughty spoiled prince who thinks he's so much superior than the low class. Probably not what the writers intended, though :P
overall acting like a cunt as soon as he met the guy
In S1E4, he literally asks Trevor if he's "a runt running around with the Belmont crest" before even fighting. And I get the idea that Alucard wanted to test him to see if he could help him, but the antagonism is so forced. I honestly don't know why Alucard would hate Trevor on sight: their personalities are not that opposite.
It's shit like this that pisses me off:
Alucard: This is a simple remote viewing mirror. A little of the activating language is chipped. A few of the runes need re-cutting, but workable. You have the most fascinating family junkyard, Belmont. Trevor: You are a cockwart, Alucard. Sypha: Stop it. *drags Trevor away* You are an adult. You do not have to rise to his every barb. Trevor: He's pissing me off like it's his job, Sypha. Sypha: Grow up, Trevor.
Alucard attacked Trevor first for literally zero reason, Trevor insults him back (less elegantly but whatever, I'd call him a cockwart too) and Sypha reproaches him and tells him to grow up? And then the scene transitions to Trevor explaining the origins of his name... which leads to the two flirting? Bro? The fuck? This is literally "be nice to your bully" logic??
This is the forced framing of the show. It wants to tell me Trevor is the immature, rude one, because Alucard is justified:
Sypha: But it's like he's a cold spot in the room. It's not like your sadness. Trevor: I'm not sad. Sypha: Yes, you are. But I can shout at you, or tease you, and get a reaction that lets me know you're still in there. His sadness is like an icy well. It's bottomless… and it swallows up your voice and anything you try to drop into it.
Trevor's depression is funny, Alucard's depression is tragic. Comic relief vs. real protagonist. You can't make this shit up.
And then this other shit:
Sypha: Stop testing him, Alucard. Alucard: I am concerned I have thrown my lot in with a demented infant. Sypha: I imagine he has similar concerns about you. Alucard: I am also concerned that you enjoy him too much. Sypha: And what is that supposed to mean? Alucard: He is unreliable, emotionally damaged, and apparently very distracting to you while you should be focused on the task at hand. Sypha: Oh. Am I not working hard enough? Hmm? Alucard: And he's a drunk and he's self-destructive and anybody trying to hold on to him may well simply be dragged down with him. Sypha: You're afraid. You worry that you might have made the wrong choice. So you're trying to make him prove himself again and again by constantly provoking him. You forget, Alucard. Trevor didn't get to finish out his childhood. He is not the man here who may not have grown up.
This is not testing. Sypha joked about finding a book with penis spells, and Alucard unprovoked threw a jab at Trevor. He just decided to insult him as soon as he saw an opening. (although, hilariously enough, it lowkey sounds like he's crushing on Sypha and he's jealous that she and Trevor had a decent chat the other night)
Hey, asshole. Trevor literally brought your ungrateful ass to a place that holds all of his heritage, a heritage he was shunned for, because you need help to kill Daddy - and I don't give a shit if you feel attacked in your vampire identity which makes zero sense and makes you look really callous, you want a vampire hunter for the job, you get someone who kills people like you for a living. You have seen him fighting: you have seen that he is very competent at his job, which is what you need. On the other hand, in S2 we barely if ever see him drink like in S1. You literally, literally, have zero reasons to speak that way, unless you're just looking for excuses to be a dick. And if you're that insecure about your choice... leave. Find someone else. Go fight Dracula alone, since in any case you ended up doing all the work. And Sypha, why the fuck did you go and bang Trevor when you clearly prefer Alucard over him. Look, she's defending him, but she's still calling him a manchild! What's with Ellis and his obsession with manchildren and humiliating them!
... I'm sorry, I know I strayed away from the point of him swearing, but N!Alucard is such a rude prick! I hate him! It's not Trevor's fault, he was born that way! He's not even that pretty that would justify him becoming the fandom's blorbo! I want to slap him and Sypha so much and then rescue Trevor who needs much better friends than these two 😭
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yjano · 2 years ago
Text
Who I am now?
Part 11.
Pairing: Jake x Mc.
Genre: Angst, comedy, dark romance.
Warnings: Strong language, angst scenes. 18+ content can be found.
Words: 5.9k
Author's note: This story contains mature topics and is not fully related to the duskwood game. A different parallel with different personalities. Thank you everyone for following and liking this! lly.♡
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Jake focus.
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The next morning, I walked out of the shower, feeling refreshed and tousling my dark wet hair with a towel. I entered the main bedroom, wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a black hoodie. I stopped in my tracks when I noticed Mc helping herself to the complimentary breakfast of warm buttered toast and the black coffees provided by the couple who owned the place.
I gulped, letting the hand holding the towel drop to my side as I was studying Mc discreetly, walking toward her. It's all cool, Jake. Just simply grab your toast and don't scare her. Stay calm. An exhausted Mc was curled up against the corner of the couch, wearing a red hoodie Lex had donated her. She was biting into her buttered toast. Upon noticing my gaze on her, Mc pulled the hood of the jumper over her head, covering half of her face and shielding her dark circles and the sore red skin around her worn eyes.
I walked over to pick up my slice of toast and tried to give some space to Mc by sitting on the unmade bed a distance away from her. I bit into my breakfast warily, waiting for Mc to speak her regular flurry of questions she usually asked every morning. So it was more than just worrying to see her so silent and wary early in the morning.
Finally, when the silence got too deafening. I cleared my throat, standing up to brush away the toast crumbs.
"Mc, we should get going," I muttered, secretly hoping to elicit a reaction from Mc. But unfortunately, she didn't say anything just simply nodded, finishing the last of her toast. She stood up, weakly brushing the tiny crumbs off of her hoodie front as well.
When she stood up waveringly, I got a full view of Mc's sleep-deprived self. Her skin was pasty under the morning light, her eyes were bruised from rubbing them dry, looking as if she'd be ready to fall asleep within seconds. Her shoulders were slumped in an exhausted manner.
I looked away, trying to ignore the guilt of feeling eating me alive. Distractedly grabbing a black backpack I hauled it onto my shoulders before wordlessly walking towards the room's door, listening to Mc's shuffling close behind.
We both walked towards the center of town after leaving the motel, cycling in the half-deadness of it all. For some unknown reason, people have disappeared from the town. But it's Duskwood. The ssight was more than just unnerving to me but still, neither of us said anything.
Soon I figured out the reason for the lack of people when we passed by a public library noticeboard stuffed full of brightly decorated posters advertising a amusement park party taking place today. I read the bold font denoted on the poster.
"Join us for live entertainment. Fun booths, slides, homemade foods, and drinks are available for free!"
I furrowed my brows slightly. Didn't Mc wrote that she wanted to go to an amusement park on her bucket list. It's not as big or as great as I'd want her to experience but it'll do. I nodded to myself warming to the idea already.
I looked over my shoulder to see a fidgeting Mc sitting on the carrier, pulling the sleeves of her jumper over her hands, completely disregarding the noticeboard we'd stopped in front of. I started to pedal down the desolate roads with the intent to find that amusement park. Maybe the amusement park will make her brighten up a bit more.
It didn't take long before we arrived at an amusement park. The large grassland was flooded with hundreds of people walking around holding clear plastic buckets of baby pink candy floss and wearing large smiles and pretty sundresses. There were dozens of rides set and lit up, intending to attract the attention of several townsfolk with their bright red and blue flashes and loud carnival-type music.
Amongst these few rides, there was an army of stalls weaving in and out of crowds of people, offering and selling homemade tasty snacks and cool drinks to eager children and adults.
"Wow." Mc breathed, climbing off the carrier in a trance state. I followed her actions, climbing off the bike's seat with a small smile on my face. I was glad that I managed to evoke a reaction from her. I dumped the bicycle against a small tree nearby, ditching it completely. We won't need that anymore. I faced Mc, licking my lips unnoticeably.
"Wanna go on a couple of rides?" I asked with a corner of my mouth tugged upwards in a little knowing smirk.
"Yeah!" Mc whisper shout with her hands clenching into fists excitedly as she was looking around with her big eyes. I smiled, leading the way happily whilst listening in on Mc gasping at everything we walked by.
It seems to be working. I stopped amid bustling townspeople and looked over at a wide-eyed Mc with a smirk still firmly placed on my face.
"What ride do you wanna go on?"
Mc looked at me at the sound of my voice and visibly froze under my gaze. Her smile dropped quickly and soon was replaced with a thin line. My smirk faltered when she looked away.
"Oh. I don't care." Mc muttered hastily, shoving her fisted hands into the front pouch-like pocket of her hoodie. I sighed internally, looking away and studying the array of rides set out before our eyes. I tried to not feel defeated, but soon enough I spotted a striped red stall nearby. One that proffered oversized plushies if you managed to knock a tin can pyramid with three balls. Three balls equal three tries.
"How about that one? Wanna get a plushie?" I questioned, pointing out the stall to Mc. She nodded and we both made our way to the stall, silently despite being immersed in a throng of loud cheers and screams belonging to excited townspeople. Who was eating, playing, running, riding rides, and laughing loudly with their friends. These people were the complete opposites of the rather awkwardly silent us.
"How much is it to pay?" I asked as soon as we reached the stall. The stall owner, dragged a wet lollipop from his lips and grinned at me before answering.
"5 euros."
I handed the demanded amount of money and motioned for Mc to have a go, stepping to the side and watching Mc timidly grappling for the ball set on the stall's counter and picking it up. Her brows furrow in concentration, she lift the ball high in the air, the tip of her tongue poked out from her mouth when she flung the ball as hard as she could toward the stacked tower.
The force Mc had used to fling the ball was way too strong. She ended up flinging the ball right over the tower, making it hit with a loud thwack against the thin wall of the stall. The man chuckled throatily.
"No worries beautiful, you still got two tries!" He beamed, pulling out a saliva-coated lollipop from his mouth. Mc rolled her eyes, readying herself for another throw.
"Mc, try to throw it low, and swing your arms forwards with less force." I offered, trying not to laugh at her expression. Reluctantly Mc followed my instructions and threw the ball whilst biting her lower lip. The ball just missed the tower making her groan out loud.
"Last try now. Don't fail!" The man reminded unhelpfully. I disregard the stall owner.
"Come on, Mc. You were close." I murmured, pushing my body off the stall's counter to get a better view. Mc applied my instructions again and aimed for the bottom of the tower. It hit the center bottom which should've to allowed the tower to topple forward. Mc turned to me, squealing with joy and jumping up and down on the spot.
"I won! I really won!" She smiled widely looking at me excited over her win. I immediately reciprocated the big smile when I caught her looking at me, feeling glad she was smiling again.
"Better luck next time, beautiful. It was so close." The man sympathized, smiling wryly, picking up the three balls Mc had flung. Mc looked over at the man, smiling confusedly.
"You didn't get them to fall." The man shrugged with a knowing smile plastered on his face.
"But I did." Mc protested, looking over to see the collapsed tower. Only the tower wasn't collapsed, not one can have fallen. "But-" Frowning, she picked up the ball and flung it at the same spot, successfully hitting it in the same spot. Her jaw dropped open when the tower didn't budge at all. As if it'd been glued down together.
I on the other hand, soon realized what was going on after years of experience. Gritting my teeth together and turning toward the stall owner who was looking at Mc, with his gross lollipop twirling around his fingers.
"Hey." I cleared my throat loudly, placing  a gun discreetly in front of him on the counter. The man leaned against the counter, flickering his gaze downwards at the object. Nearly swallowing his lollipop whole, choking himself on the candy. I tilted my head forward slightly whilst maintaining eye contact with the suddenly fearful stall owner.
"Alright, listen up you litle bitch. Give her the damn bear plushie she won it fairly. I'm not standing for this rigged bullshit." I hissed narrowing my eyes at him. "So if you don't want me firing a bullet into your forehead, make her smile by giving her the motherfucking plushie."
The stall owner gulped hard and nodded, hurriedly moving to grab one of the plastic wrapped plushies hanging overhead. His lollipop was threatening to fall from his glistening lips. Mc, noticing the man's actions, stopped playing and blinked at me and the man, completely lost.
The man with a frozen smile on his face, forcefully handed the plushie to Mc who took it with big eyes, surprised at the gesture.
"Wha-"
"Please take it! You won it fairly!" The man smiled falsely, looking at me uneasily. Mc looked down at the big plushie in her arms before smiling widely. Her sore eyes formed into happy crescents.
"Thanks!" She grinned, tightening her grip around the plushie. Tue stall owner, looking very pasty, nodded jerkingly and looked over at me. Mc did the same, smiling hard at me and waving the plushie to show me her prize. I quickly shoved my gun behind my back and fixed a light smile on my features.
"Yeah thanks, man. Bye." I grinned, walking past the nervous stall owner, motioning for Mc to walk along with me.
We went on a few rides and then there were a bunch of vending machines that I spent a good twenty minutes wasting my money and making an unimpressed Mc sit on a bench, idly slurping the last dregs of his fizzy drink. And now, well...
"What's next?" I asked casually, side-eying Mc. There was a large inflatable slide, acting as a massive centerpiece. But there were already several people lined up at the side, holding a variety of inflatable rings and mats which'll soon be used to slide down with. Mc's eyes widen at the sight and an excited gasp left her parted lips when she watched people slide down the slide all at once.
"Guess it's this then." I mused, watching Mc's reaction. We walked ahead and lined up in the queue, waiting for the people to hand in the inflatables so we could have our turn. I stood out of the line and shook my head when someone handed me the inflatable. Instead, I motioned for the person to hand it to Mc. She frowned at me, taking the inflatable ring, and looking at me questioningly. I rifled around for my cigarette box and lighter.
"There's no way I'm going up there," I muttered. "I'm afraid of heights, and going up there will just worsen it for me." I said bluntly, taking out the items needed to smoke.
"Really?" Mc asked, surprised. It was probably the first proper word Mc's said all day to me, and I can't help but offer up a weak smile as I nodded. Taking a cigarette out of my cigarette box and packing the rest away into my jacket pocket as Mc was staring at me.
"There's no way I'm going up there," I murmured again, placing the cigarette between my lips and lighting the stick up with the lighter. Mc turned away chuckling. Is she laughing? I peered around a little to see Mc laughing quietly behind the hood of her hoodie, using it to conceal herself.
I coughed up the smoke I'd accidentally held in way too long and turned away, sputtering like crazy. I felt Mc reaching out to pat me on the back in an attempt to help me. But it didn't help.
"You shouldn't smoke," Mc mumbled when I recovered myself. Ignoring her I brought the cigarette to my lips once again, breathing in the smoke whilst turning away from Mc. Reddening slightly because, I just embarrassed myself in front of the many people queuing up, and becaude Mc had looked so damn cute, hiding her tiny bout of laughter behind that oversized hood of her jumper.
"Next!" The owner of the ride suddenly called out, causing the queue to shuffle forward. Mc make it in with the next round of people and waved at me. I watched on as I was smoking waiting for Mc to climb onto the slide and seat herself at the ledge at the top. Mc was sitting in the middle, a wide smile on display as she was waving her plushie in the air. I couldn't help but smile back and raise my hand a little to wave back.
"3, 2, 1! Go!" A man called over a loudspeaker, initiating a flurry of people to go down the slide, squealing as they hurtle down to the safety mats arranged below.
I laughed at the way Mc clung to both the inflatable ring with her hands and her legs wrapped around plushie to not drop it as she was sliding down, mouth opening wide as peals of loud laughter escaped. When she finally reached down to the mats placed on the ground, she climbed to her feet hurriedly and ran back to the queue without saying anything to me apart of.
"Again! Again!" She smiled, running back. I shook my head at the sight but let a grinning Mc line up again.
She's happy. I exhaled the smoke from my lips in a small huff. It's better to see her like this than how she was like last night.
After two more go's, Mc and I wandered around the amusement park in comfortable silence, slurping down brightly colored icy slushies that I had bought when I caught Mc eyeing it at one particular stall. I was about to pop the question of leaving the park to carry on when Mc suddenly burst out that she needed to pee.
"There should be portable toilets somewhere," I murmured, looking around. A second later, Mc spotted a row of them. A good few meters away, hidden behind a red glittery stall named
'The kiss booth'
Mc immediately pushed her slushie and plushie into my arms and bounded in the direction of the toilets without a word to me.
Before I could see where Mc had ran off to over the mess of her plushie and slushie shoved onto me, Mc had disappeared to god knows where. She was nowhere in sight. I panicked, looking around frantically for the toilets or Mc but I couldn't find her with the dozens of townspeople surrounding me, trapping me in place.
Fuck. Fuck. I'm so fucked right now.
I groaned loudly, barging in the direction I hoped was the one Mc went in with a half-metre-long plushie and two cups of slushie in my hands.
.
Mc focus.
.
A couple of minutes later, I emerged from the portable toilet seat, wiping my hands down with a lemon-scented wipe.
"Excuse me?" Someone walked right in front of my pathway, abruptly blocking me off. I looked up from my hands and wipe, worried as to why this person decided to stop right in front of me.
"I need to, sorry if this offends you or annoys you, but could you pull down your hoodie? I need to confirm something." The guy asked, bending down a little to try and see my face better but my hoodie persistently blocked half my face off.
Oh- no. He recognized me! He knows I'm the missing girl from the news channel.
Fuck, where's Jake...But maybe I am panicking for no reason. Not everyone watches the news right? I was hesitant for a few seconds but then with shaky hands, I reached up to push my hoodie off my head. I waited for this dude to hasp out 'I knew you were the girl from the channels!' But instead.
"I knew it! I knew you're good-looking!" Whilst excitedly taking my hand in his, he tugged me along somewhere.
I was slightly alarmed, stutteringly following after the guy who led me to wooden steps leading up to a tiny makeshift stage. The guy with a grin pushed me up those steps and patted my back.
"Do me a favor and go sit in that empty chair, please? I need someone to fill that seat while I go pee otherwise my I will pee my pants. Please!" He begged with smile straining.
"Uh-"
"Great! Thank you so so much you're a lifesaver! I'll be right back in two minutes!"
"Hey yo-" Before I could call after the boy and ask him about what the hell he was talking about, an overwhelmingly pretty girl patted me on the shoulder.
"Are you our temporary replacement?" She urged and before I could open my mouth, the girl was already tugging me by the hoodie to the empty desk the guy had pointed out earlier.
"I suppose? What do I have to do?"
"The customers were getting antsy. Please sit here! I'll give you a couple of seconds to ready yourself before we start." With that, the girl left, leaving me confused.
I looked down at the two-seater desk I was seated at. It was covered in red crepe material paper. I picked up the laminated sheet and read it.
"The kissing booth - Color type
White Peck - on cheek/forehead.
Pink peck - on lips.
Red - kiss.
Maroon - French kiss."
I widened my eyes, looking around to see myself on a miniature wooden stage along with four other people who sit in the same condition as me on chairs accompanied by desks. I turned around to see half a motherfucking town lined up to participate in this 'kiss booth' scheme which seemed to have been thrust upon me.
People ranging from freakishly young to creepy old folks who had wide smiles on their faces. From people who were shy and jittery to people who were smirking cockily at their friends, spritzing mint spray in their mouths, are lined up. I spotted a lot of maroon-colored tickets being handed out to townsfolk who pay a surprisingly heavy amount for tongue action. I feel sick.
I am gonna have to kiss some old guys or some irritating fuckboys? Fucking hell, I don't wanna kiss someone random.
You have time to run and they won't even notic-
"The kissing booth is now open! Let's kiss!" A person beamed, speaking through a loudspeaker to attract the people's attention. the people cheered in response.
The first four customers walked on to the stage. A gang of boys with gelled hair and branded tracksuits clung to their weedy frames walked up to the stage. I'm not going smack my lips with some kid's chapped lips. I stood from my chair just when one of the boys, the boy that was assigned to my desk, spat out swear words.
"Hey, you motherfucking cunt, it's my turn! Fuck off jiggly balls, she's mine!" The boy grunted, roughly pushing the man holding a plushie and two slushies in his hands. My mind went blank for a second, I tried to see the man, my savior's face behind the plushie.
"Don't you have preschool lessons to go to today, you little fucker?" The man gritted out threateningly as he wrestled with the young boy. The young boy cussed at the plushie guy but the guy ignored him, walking straight toward my desk. Uncertain about the man's identity, I shrunk back in my seat, my throat tightened as the man harshly dumped the plushie to the side of the table and-
"J-JD?"
"Mc, what the fuck are you doing at a bloody kiss booth? You tell me you're going to the toilet but I see you at a motherfucking kiss booth-"
"First you steal my place and now you're stealing my time! Back the fuck off!" The bratty kid yelled but Jake ignored him.
"-Ready to kiss some fetus."
"What? Do you think I really wanna kiss some random kid?" I retorted, narrowing my eyes at him. The fuck he is on about.
"Kiss and leave loser!" The kid yelled but this time I ignored him.
"Someone made me fill in their spot while they went to the toilet," I explained, with cheeks getting red from anger. "I didn't realize he was making me join the kiss booth until now." I hissed, sitting up in his chair. "I thought he wanted me to look after some fucking brownies not the fucking kiss booth."
"Come on kiss already! My mom is coming this way!"
"Fi-" Jake started but got cut off by that annoying bratty kid.
"You stupid dick! If you ain't gonna do it, let me!"
Jake's eye twitched.
"Fine, fine whatever. That's all fine but I couldn't find you. Let me know before running off okay? I have spent five minutes walking around looking for you." Jake bitterly remarked whilst glaring over his shoulder at the angry kid.
"It was only five minutes." I raised unimpressed eyebrows at him. I know you were worried about me, Jake. I can read you like an open book right now.
"Five minutes in which I could've bought candy floss but- "
"You're so annoying, don't make me come over there you fuckhead!"
"I-"
"I'll beat you up loser!" Jake clenched his jaw hard.
"We should probably just leave. The guy should come back soon enough."
"What guy?" Jake asked, trying to not gather plushie in his arms and fling it at the whining shit behind him.
"The guy who asked me to fill this place-"
"If you don't motherfucking kiss already I will drag you down!"
Jake was looking like he was ready to pull his gun out on the kid but he stopped himself. His hand clenched into fists when the kid continued.
"Tell them to hurry up I wanna get my kiss too!"
"Oh, for fucks sake. Come here." Jake gritted out and with a rough tug at my collar, Jake brought his face closer to a stunned me before pressing our lips together.
I stayed stock still, too shocked to move away. I was sitting there on the seat with my body rigid.
What.
I am being kissed by Jake.
Oh my fucking god!
Push him away, Mc! What the fuc-
But my body seemed to ignore my brain's wishes. I closed my eyes and carefully parted my lips, relaxing into his kiss.
This is so so wrong. But I liked it too much to stop it.
.
Jake focus.
.
I'm not supposed to be doing this. Oh my god, what am I doing? Ths is so messed up.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Despite my thoughts, I delved deeper into the kiss which started as a firm press and changed into a softer, deeper kiss. A change was done by me. What the fuck I am doing? But fuck godamn, Mc's lips are the softest I've ever experienced, and no matter what my brain tells me. I can't pull away.
"Fucking finally. It wasn't that hard you loser!" The shit kid yelled again, catching our attention and causing me abruptly pull away from Mc. The shit boy's irritating voice acted as a bucket of ice-cold water, shocking me awake from my and Mc's little moment.
We broke away but our heads were tilted with our foreheads resting against each other. We were breathing heavily, it was only a ten-second kiss. A ten-second kiss rendered me and her breathless somehow, our chests were heaving, and lips parting slowly.
I stared into her eyes with an unreadable expression. She was staring into my blue eyes with an unreadable expression as well.
"Oh my god." She gasped suddenly, pushing herself back in her chair and slapping both palms over her mouth. I am myself was shocked at my own actions. I wanted to slap my hands over my mouth as well and run away as far away from Mc because just looking at her lips makes me wanna- I saved myself by playing it off casually, putting on a cool calm facade in front of freaking out Mc.
"Well, that's two things crossed off the bucket list. Even if I wasn't the person you wanted to kiss." I muttered nonchalantly, wiping my lips with the back of my shaky hand. I stood up and quietly cleared my throat before reaching out to grab the plushie. I looked over my shoulder, raising an eyebrow at Mc who refused to move a muscle.
"Well, are you gonna move, or do you wanna have another round with that whiny shit? I saw he requested french kissing." I addee, smiling humourlessly.
Mc held her breath, slowly rising from her chair. She gulped several times. Timidly following after me.
~
Now, Mc was curled up against the train window, her knees were drawn to her chest in a protective stance and her red face was buried low in her hoodie, hiding away from the public.
I was sitting two seats down from her, my body was hunched forward and stiff. I hadn't moved from this position in at least ten minutes. I turned my face away face. The tips of my ears were a prominent shade of red.
On the half-full train, people chattered about random things. Mc and I hadn't exchanged glances or words with each other. We both were blushing and shocked or freaking out too much to look at each other.
Jake, what the fuck did you just do?
Why? Why you kissed her? To get that kid to shut up? No, that's not it and you know it. So then why did you kiss her?
I didn't think straight. That kid was yelling at me, Mc's face was exposed to the whole town and the previous stress of trying to find Mc made me do it. Yeah. all that and maybe because just wanted to do it. I wanted to do it for a long time.
I changed my posture, straightening up and leaning against my chair with my back cracking in protest. I rested my head against the seat's headrest and stared up at the faded red light fixtured of the train.
Mc's lips were surprisingly soft. They were not tacky with glossy lipstick, and they were not chapped and bleeding. I coughed loudly. What the hell? You're out here daydreaming about her lips for fucks sake when you're meant to be finding ways to get her to a safe place. Away from Richy. But her lips were so damn soft and plump.
I tilted my head to the right to look over at Mc's huddled figure. I watched her lift a shy sweater paw to her lips, prodding her lower lip with her index finger thoughtfully. Mc's cheeks bloomed red soon afterward.
She's cute as fuck. Damn.
I hastily tilted my head back to stare up at the light fixtures, gulping hard. I dropped my gaze from the ceiling and stared at the window.
I think- I fall in love with her harder each time she flashes me a smile.
.
Mc focus.
.
Oh my god.
I subconsciously lift a hand to my lips, touching my ower lip with a finger. Did I just had first kiss with Jake like that? Just like that we kissed infront of the people?
I hurriedly dropped my hand from my lips when he caught the sight of my reflection in the train's window and realized how weird I look. But wow. I remember his lips firmly pressed against  mine and it felt so good...So damm percent. I felt my cheeks glow hard.
My breath got caught in my throat when I remembered the texts I'd texted him. The thing about our kiss and how the world would disappear around us. And goddamn it disappeared. It was just me and him.
I knew that I won't experience this type of feeling again when Jake decide to tell me the truth. Maybe he doesn't love me anymore but I don't care. I wanna hold on to this feeling for as long as possible. The feeling of having him around, the feeling of his touch, the feeling of his caring side. The feeling of-
"Excuse me, but could you move your plushie? It's yours right?" A girl questioned, pointing a manicured finger in plushies direction. I nodded, mumbling a quiet sorry before pulling the plushie onto my lap, a little fazed.
Once the girl sat down, my mind wandered off again. Wandered right back to the kiss booth where I was sitting in front of Jake, letting the kiss take the breath away from my lungs. Immediately the image sank in and I found myself pushing my face against my plushie, muffling a squeal in the object. The girl glanced at me concerned, but I didn't care.
It was really nice. I smiled widely looking at the distance. Kissing Jake was really nice. Blushing, I wrapped my arms around the plushie's stomach, hugging the toy hard as I was looking out of the window at the fleeting scenery outside. Just when I thought I couldn't fall harder for Jake, I fell harder.
.
Jake focus.
.
Five minutes later, my phone vibrated against my thigh, startling me out of my dizzying array of thoughts. Sighing I lifted my phone up and without bothering to look at the notification displayed on the screen, I swiped my thumb across the glass, unlocking it before waiting for the messages to load.
My face broke out into an immediate grin as I read the message. It was automated messages sent in coarse slang and accompanied by an excessive amount of emojis because they were used to throw off the police.
U: 18+ !6!6!9
U: mEgA rAcE tAkiNg plAcE. BroOm bitches$$$
U: ITs goNnA bE BiG moTheRfUckeRs.
U: nO.1 rA$er "S" iS attending.
U: sO cOmE hErE bABY tO yOur favOriTe ra$er.
U: Do not reply to this message.
I beamed at the messages, smiling particularly hard at a specific name embedded in the text. "S"
Can't wait to meet you again.
.
Richy focus.
.
Ikari squealed excitedly, clapping her hands as she studied herself in the full-length mirror.
"I think this is the one, it suits my body type perfectly, right?" She smirked, looking over her shoulder at me sitting on the black couch. She quirked an eyebrow at me, waiting for the answer. But I didn't care about the way she looked. I was just too relaxed sitting there on the couch, smoking the last of my cigarette whilst staring dully into the distance. Where is she?
She pouted at me, making her way toward me and hopping on my lap with her hands wrapped around my neck.
"I didn't move on from Jake just for you to stare blankly in the distance when I'm talking to you." Ikari muttered, bending down to become level with my face. I looked up at her with my eyes lidded with boredom.
"I was thinking about something. I'm much better than Jake." I retorted, unimpressed. "Put some damn clothes on, Ikari. Not in the mood to play right now."
"Oh? You should think only about me." She giggled, pulling away and standing tall over me. I rolled my eyes at her and sighed. "And." She added, smiling pulling her dress off, letting it reveal her new lingerie. Transparent black playboy lingerie that was proudly on her body.
"You love me in lingerie, especially black lingerie, Richy or should we play roleplay where I call you the man without a face hm?" She tilted her head coyly, red hair falling to the side with some strands effortlessly brushing across her face. Her red lips formed into a smirk when she noticed my reaction.
I reached out and grabbed her waist, tugging her hard making Ikari stumble forward onto my lap again. Her little smirk got bigger but dear she doesn't know I'm only using her for now. Once I will find Mc everything will be over.
"Call me the man without a face. It turns me on." I warned running my hands up her smooth thighs. Ikari just simply laughed, a light tinkled in her eyes. "I will show you how good I can be. Better than the nerdy loser who was all over you."
"Whatever you say, Richy-" Ikari was abruptly cut off by the sound of my mobile vibrating against the leather of the couch. Before I could reach over for my mobile phone, Ikari snatched it up quickly, reading the notification with a curious look in her eyes. I stifled my annoyance at the action and instead focused on her thighs, rubbing and squeezing them slowly.
"Oh, There's another race taking place." Ikari read the texts as I was tugging at her lingerie lazily. "Are you going to go?" She asked, looking up at me with her pretty hazel eyes.
"Yeah, I guess," I murmured, finally having enough of my cigarette I stubbed the thin stick against the couch's leather armchair. Mc was supposed to stay with her friends but I guess Jake got involved in it. I will fuck him up. Just because he's not so nerdy anymore it doesn't mean he can win the fight.
"Now shut the fuck up and deal with what you started," I answered with the corner of my mouth pulled upwards, yanking my phone out of her grip and pushing the device aside. Ikari obliged, grinning as she rocked her hips against me.
"If you're going, I'm coming along. I'm sure Jake is gonna be there to cheer for that annoying racer. What was his name? Sam? Whatever, I wanna see how he's getting along without me." She muttered, smirking slowly. "I bet he's in shit condition, he couldn't live without me for more than a second so I wonder how he is now. Probably alone, crying about me." She commented dryly whilst running her hands over my torso.
"Yeah, can we not talk about him when I'm trying to fuck you?" I murmured, snaking my palms under her lingerie with great intent to touch her warm skin.
"Of course, my bad baby." She chuckled, slipping her dress off of her shoulders, letting the thin dress easily fall to the floor.
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theladyragnell · 2 years ago
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For the three sentence ficlets: ACoFaF, the bird cousins and "The Baroness' Revenge", should that strike your fancy
(I didn't have much to say about this one that wouldn't have gotten into Explicit Land, which I wasn't in the mood for tonight, so have a ficlet with some of that implied!)
Chirp’s first sign that something has perhaps gone wrong during her visit to her family in the Mortal Realm is that she tries to take a drink of wine and tastes only sea water. In the spirit of science, she takes another sip. “Cousin,” she says, turning to Squak, who’s grimacing his way through his own glass, “it seems to me that perhaps someone has sabotaged your bottle of wine.”
“Just keep drinking,” he says, waving a hand. “It still gets you drunk, I have discovered over the past few days, it just tastes like the sea.”
Not just one bottle, then. If Squak had been on the same bottle of wine for three days, something truly would be gravely wrong. “Perhaps we could buy something new?”
“Oh, I’ve tried that. Then I bring it back to the next, and it’s sea water.”
Chirp considers that in silence for a moment. “Do you think that perhaps, cousin, this has something to do with, well. With the Seafoam Court? Or people within it?”
“Perhaps, cousin? Certainly, I would say. The first bottle of wine came with the compliments of Baroness Alven.”
“Ah.” Chirp puts her glass down. She’d like to be drunk, but not at this cost. “Your suitable but not suited match. She intends to hold you to your promise? Grandfather may have given us leniency, but I don’t know if he’ll allow it if she sues you for breach.”
“Blackmail would add a certain spice or our relationship,” Squak says, and they both consider that for a moment. He isn’t wrong, really. Still, it would be inconvenient at the orgies, if they were caught in some kind of vengeance duel. Squak seems to come to the same conclusion, because he sighs. “No, it will never do. I’ll simply have to fake my death. Do you think Grandfather would rename me Viscount of Peckerton?”
Chirp frowns. “That doesn’t seem likely to help. I don’t suppose you could, well, do as I did with Prince Andhera, could you? That is, put her off while making her think you care? You could tell her, quite rightly, that everything about Apollo was simply a ruse. Surely she would appreciate a ruse! Especially as he’s dead.”
“Then she might ask why I haven’t written to arrange our wedding.”
“You could at least talk to her. Esmé is a great believer in talking about things, and it does seem to work.”
Squak sighs and finishes his glass of salt wine. “I suppose it’s the only option I have left.”
*
Chirp stays around, partly to make sure Squak doesn’t ruin the beverages in the nest for the next several centuries and partly because she does love a good scandal. As soon as the baroness gets the message Squak sends (with a tern, of course, Squak wisely considers that a sea bird might soften her heart), the thing with the beverages stops, so at least it’s not too onerous waiting.
Baroness Alven, when she arrives, is dressed to kill, enough to make Chirp sigh a little over being married. “Lady Featherfowl,” she says, barely inclining her head. “I hope you have been well since the Bloom.”
“Oh, you know me, always in the beak of health!” Baroness Alven raises her eyebrows. “Do go easy on him, won’t you?”
She sniffs a little. “I haven’t once expected fidelity. Why should I? But I expect respect, and I expect information. And now I expect an apology. On bended knee.”
“I do hear he’s very good on his knees,” Chirp says encouragingly, and leaves them to it.
*
Chirp doesn’t see or hear anything about either of them until Baroness Alven comes out to drink tea for breakfast, looking very self-satisfied. “I do hope that our families can be on better terms again, after whatever negotiations you and my cousin engaged in last night?” she inquires.
“Negotiations were satisfactory, yes. I have an invitation to the next orgy. Perhaps I’ll see you there, Lady Featherfowl?”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” Chirp assures her, toasts her with her teacup, and moves on to discussing other gossip.
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cafalla · 9 months ago
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2024 READING - COMPLETED BOOK 7/12
After waiting a few days following my last reading post, I got my hands on the sequel to Flame in the Mist!
It's been a few days since I've finished Smoke in the Sun (408 pages), and I have to say, I really had fun with this story. Both books were such page turners for me!
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I don't normally like hardcover books, but I had to spend the extra dollar on thrift books to get the hardcover edition. The paperback edition offered didn't have this beautiful cover art, and I wanted both of my books to match appearance wise!
I do intend to keep these around, rather than re-donate them. I can see myself revisiting them in a couple years, after I've forgotten some of the details lol. And the books simply look pretty, even on the spine.
I did not overstay my time with this story, and I felt satisfied by the end. Some book series can drag on and on over multiple books, and I find myself losing interest by the 3rd book or so. But that's just me.
I enjoyed this second book. However, because of the circumstances of this second half of the story, I couldn't help but notice I was missing what I loved about the first book - the interactions between Mariko and Okami. They are kept apart from each other for most, is not practically all of the second book, save a few short meet-ups.
Their few moments they did have together were great and full of tension, and the epilogue was very sweet. I just wish we had a little more time with them at the end, when they finally were able to freely be together. I guess I wanted a more drawn-out reunion to make up for them hardly being together for this book.
I did enjoy the scenes with Mariko and Raiden though. Honestly I would've liked to see a bit more of their development...it felt like Raiden warmed up to her too quickly, but that's just me. I live for romance and slow burns lol, I always want more.
Strangely enough my main problem was the amount of editing errors and typos I came across, particularly in the last few chapters of the book.
Tensions were high and dialogue was intense...then I'd come across an extra period at the end of a sentence. Roku's name was written as Roka once, and it stopped me dead in my tracks with confusion until I realized they were talking about Roku. Ranmaru was once spelled as Ranmaruao or something like that at one point.
It was very distracting for me, especially when I was reading so fast because I was engaged in the end game. Ah well. I'd still recommend these if the plot of the first book sounds even remotely interesting to you!
Yay, I've hit 2k pages read!
I also finally did go on that thrift book hunt. My to-read pile is now thoroughly stocked up! I've already started my next adventure. x
Total books read: 7 Total pages read: 2,232
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bluesunsdusk · 2 years ago
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Sigma would be informed simply and in passing, as if it was an afterthought. Valentine had gotten fatally injured on the last mission, and had died from their injuries on the way back.
It took a moment for the information to actually process. At least, enough for Sigma to register it. He furrowed his brows and whipped his head around, but the staff that had brought it up was long gone. They'd just finished up cleaning up and disconnecting his equipment after some more minor testing and now that he'd been brought back to his quarters, his escort was gone as well. She had yet to go over some of the results...
Surely, she would be back soon enough. Yes. Yes, he would focus on that, for now.
Though... did I hear that correctly?
No. No, he just misheard. He made it up. It was his concern manifesting in misunderstandings, his subconscious thoughts invading his perception. Sigma shook his head and tried to leave it be, but it wouldn't stop clinging in his mind.
The scientist would have stuck around if they merely intended to fool him, right? It wasn't worth the effort to spread lies in passing. It wasn't worth the effort if they couldn't see how he would react. He also hadn't seen hide nor hair of Valentine for the past... he wasn't sure, but now that he actually thought about it, it was long enough to be of note.
A pen his escort had left behind slowly shifted, hardly noticeable at first. The paper of the clipboard under it started to gradually rise, tipping the pen and making it roll off. It never touched the desk under it, however. Abruptly, it rose up into the air, along with the clipboard. A loud rip shredded through the silence of his quarters as Velcro that kept various items in the room from drifting was torn at by a massive shift in gravity. Pens, mugs, loose sheets of paper, whiteboards, chairs. Everything was thrust into the ceiling.
Valentine was so... young.
They couldn't be dead.
They couldn't be dead. Not yet.
Too soon.
It was too soon.
He should have died first.
This was-
The items that clung to the ceiling came clattering down on the floor and desk, some louder than others. Sigma paid them no mind. He himself also lowered to the ground. His feet touched the ground for the first time in a long while. It was hard and cold, but after having toppled his chairs, he had little else to sit. He sat down on the ground and stayed silent. Part of him still wanted to believe the news was false, another part hadn't even regarded it, but the most active part knew it was most likely real and it did more than crush him. On this rare occasion, rather than snap and scream, he made not a single sound. A solitary tear ran down his cheek as he stared blankly at some of the notes he'd made for his studies.
Valentine no doubt would have rolled their eyes at all the writing he had accumulated over the years in Talon, but he didn't mind. They were one of the few people with similar capabilities and they were a frequent presence within the facility. They put up with him.
Another tear rested in his other eye while he remained put, simply thinking. The grief had left his emotions in a void. He wasn't quite sure what he felt anymore and his thoughts had all silenced. The small noises that would usually register when he returned to his quarters after an examination couldn't break through.
Finally, the door to his quarters flew open. One of the scientists rushed in. They abruptly halted upon seeing Sigma simply sitting on the ground, surrounded by the various objects that made their home in that room. Some were left broken with shards strewn around the floor.
The second tear never fell.
Upon seeing it wasn't a scientist he trusted, Sigma took a breath and briefly bowed his head before shaking it.
"Apologies..." He said with a sigh, lifting one hand to brush his thumb under his eye. "I seem to have experienced a malfunction."
His tone was low, cold, slightly annoyed.
The scientist didn't question it, or they simply didn't want to spend another second alone with the madman they knew he was. After some quick taps on a communicator, they left.
Sigma glanced around the room and let out a soft hum, pressing his lips into a deep frown. What a mess he'd made...
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mailsbylover · 2 years ago
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log #0004
for the first time in a while, i feel at ease, and i know it's going to be short-lived, so before i lose my chance to geek about kafka and literature, here's a lengthy log.
i always stood by the argument that academics ruin literature, at least for me, but now i'm starting to realize that my lazy ass would've missed out on a lot of great works and artists, case in point, me thinking that franz kafka wouldn't be an enjoyable author to read about, let me tell you why i was so wrong.
a little about franz kafka is his life was shaped by tragedy. dead siblings, ignorant mother, abusive father, his dreams of being a writer were crushed. he reflects all of that in works that he himself didn't even believe in, if it wasn't for his literary executor and friend max brod, we wouldn't have the chance to know him.
his short story 'a hunger artist' is what i want to talk about. the story is about a circus performer, who sits in a cage to perform his artistry of fasting. crowds of people would gather around his cage to see the artist simply fast, admiring(ig) the gift he had for denying himself food for long periods of time. the artist believed he could go with this artistry for ages, but the impresario had to place limits on how long he could go at this, the period was set to be 40 days.
so for 40 days, this artist was watched day and night, keeping him away from food. once the board on his cage hits the 40 mark, 2 young women and 2 doctors would guide the artist out of his cage to a meal set on a table in front of the crowd. even with the cheering of the crown and the impresario, the hunger artist would be reluctant to break his fast, he fights with all of his will not to be fed. despite all his efforts, food would be shoved into his mouth, and onto the cage, he goes back again.
what the artist felt humiliated and furious by, is how the crowd would dismiss his fast's purity. nothing felt more important to him than protecting the integrity of his artistry.
after a while, hardly anyone was interested to crowd around his cage, fasting was not eye-catching for anyone anymore. so he separates from the circus and the impresario altogether.
hungry (pun intended) for more attention, he joins a larger circus and gets placed near the major attractions. all the attention he ended up getting was from whoever would pass his cage toward the large animals. in a final blow, the circus stopped updating the board that kept track of how long he fasts, and soon enough, he starts to lose track as well.
the artist now has shrunk to the point where his cage looks empty except for a pile of straw. a circus worker pokes at it, only to find out that it was the artist himself, barely alive. the artist tells the worker about how he's not worthy of anyone's admiration, but that couldn't stop him from pursuing his art.
when asked why he had gone that long in the first place, he answers: "because i couldn't find the food i liked. if i had found it, believe me, i should have made no fuss and stuffed myself like you or anyone else".
after uttering those last words, he dies. and later gets replaced by a jaguar the opposite of him. young and healthy, alive.
now, that was something, wasn't it?
'hunger artist' invited a biographical reading. for starters, kafka himself had suffered from hunger, or loss of appetite, due to him contracting tuberculosis at the time he wrote this story.
but on a deeper note, it talks about his own struggles in making art. for one, kafka was denied an artist's life because of how demanding his family was. it was only in the evenings when he got back from his job in an insurance company did he write. not publishing most of it, and asking his friend to burn all the manuscripts he does finish.
more broadly, it talks about any artist's struggles to get recognition and admiration. the impresario forced the hunger artist to break his fast, not because he can't go on more, not because he was concerned about the artist's health, but because people's cheers would die after those 40 days pass. the artist had no say in his own artistry, although he was prepared to starve to death if it meant perfecting the art he practices.
what's more mind-boggling is the reveal of the reason this artist had pursued this art in the first place, and how he wasn't 'struggling' or denying himself any temptation, he simply didn't find a food he liked. there was nothing he fought against, it was simply a choice. his art wasn't appreciated, but was it art to begin with?
the artist is unnamed, and neither is any character in the story for that matter, even the title has an indefinite article, that makes the 'hunger artist' a universal lesson for mankind to make the conscious choice of letting go of the pride that holds us down or living a life always lacking in satisfaction and contentment.
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otomes-world · 3 years ago
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39.2 “I knew you weren’t dead. I refused to believe it- I knew it couldn’t be true”. One of possible mini-endings of this fic. Another man whose charm I can't resist, he won.
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You didn’t remember how you flew out of the window, how painfully you hit hard ground and broke several beams, and how you probably earned numerous bruises and abrasions. However, one thing burned in your memory very accurately. How you, ignoring the growing pain in your whole body and the trail of blood, rushed somewhere, not knowing where. The main thing was to get away from the one who was gradually approaching the door.
You didn’t remember how you ended up in the forest, how you somehow managed to run and hide in the bushes and let fatigue drag you into the realm of Morpheus.
Opening your heavy eyelids and feeling the aching need for water, you barely restrained yourself from moaning from the long lying among the stones and branches. You didn’t know how many days you were in this state, as well as why you still haven’t woken up from your nightmare and why your body stubbornly continued to fight for life, when with every second all that you wanted to close your eyes and give up.
With great effort, you forced yourself to sit up and tried to look around. You didn't recognize the area, but one thing made you happy. They either didn’t find you, or didn’t think of looking into the forest, or simply gave up. The last one you hoped for the most.
You tried to say anything, but the dryness in your throat prevented you from making any sound. An excruciating cough shook your lungs, from which you involuntarily bent over, feeling the wounds that did not have time to heal again reminded of yourself. In the end, your condition could be described as rather pathetic. Oddly enough, you still had enough strength for self-irony. More precisely, only to this, because every movement was given to you with difficulty, causing dizziness.
It was dangerous and reckless to go out, but to stay and let the dehydration finally drag you to the grave was not the best option either. Breathing heavily and feeling the tension in every muscle, you pulled your legs up to yourself, intending to get up and go in search of a stream or lake. If fate, which had not yet decided to end your life, had mercy, then perhaps you could find some edible berries as well. For now you did not feel hungry, but you knew that soon it would come too. Then you would definitely have to think about the unenviable end.
You didn't know how much time had passed and how far you had gone. Your whole body ached, and when you finally reached the small spring, you couldn't stand any longer and fell down. Your legs refused to hold you for a second more. Nevertheless, you had to go down anyway, your body just chose the fastest way.
You restrained yourself from giving yourself a flick, even on the verge of death, you still did not stop joking.
Putting one hand into the cold water, you felt how small wounds began to pinch, into which dirt had clogged. Grimacing, you lowered the other one and tried to gently rinse it too. When you finished, you scooped some water into your clean hands and held it up to your face.
As the liquid ran down your throat, wetting it and washing away the lump, relieving the effects of coughing, you noticed that everything began to swim in your eyes. Raising your fingertips to your eyelids, you noticed that tears were streaming down your cheeks. What happened finally weighed heavily on you, as did the relief of the fact that you managed to escape successfully. Calming yourself with willpower, you wiped them away. You were not yet in your world, which means it was too early to celebrate the victory.
After drinking some more water, you began to wash off the rest of your abrasions and dirt that had time to dry. You were still wearing the prefect's uniform, and you had to come back for a new set, which you were not going to do yet. Besides, you wouldn't be able to do it anyway, given how much effort it took you to get to the spring. So you just tried to wash the stains a little without taking off your clothes.
Inhaling the slightly moist air, you felt how it becomes easier to breathe, how strength gradually returned to you. You made another deep breath. You did it then, so you can do it again.
“I knew you weren't dead,” a sudden voice behind you cooled your ardor. Your body instinctively froze as you watched fear contort your face in the water reflection. “Azul and Floyd said the chance was wasted, but I refused to believe it—.. We didn't find your body, so I kept hoping. I knew it couldn't be true."
You heard that with every word he speak, the person was getting closer to you, but you still hadn't recovered from your recent movement. All you had to do was trying to shrink and watching as the shadow you cast gradually grew, as another face appeared in the water.
Your voice was as quiet as ever, but you had no doubt that you were heard, "...it was... it was you, right?.. ..because of you, I jumped out of the window then.."
Gloved hands were placed on your shoulders as you saw Jade leaning towards you, pleased. He was dressed in an Octavinelle uniform, but without the extra details like a hat, scarf, and jacket. As if he had not just come to wander in the forest, as if he had specially dressed for the search.
"Was it worth it, Name-san? Look at yourself now. Was your 'little journey' worth the state you brought yourself to?" Jade's tone was soft, soothing even. Probably the same one he used to lure new victims into his or Azul trap. “If you had accepted my hand back then, we would be sitting and talking over a cup of tea in the Monstro Lounge right now. However, as the vice leader of the Sea Witch’s benevolence dorm, I am ready to give you another chance. So, Name-san, what is your answer? I hope this time you will make a right one."
list of prompts
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husbandohunter · 4 years ago
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Moments of Despair #1 [Genshin Impact/Diluc x Reader]
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Synopsis: “The man who was on fire and realized it too late.”
(A series of works where the boys deal with the passing of their beloved).
Albedo's despair
Warnings: angst, tragedy, major character death, graphic depictions of violence perhaps
(A/n): Had these ideas for a while after reading @/serensama To Mourn series of another fandom. So much sorrow and feeling I just was inspired to write 😫
_______________________________________________
The moment you fell lifeless in Diluc's arms, he wanted to disappear.
It was raining again, he had always despised the rain. How it trickles down the slope of your cheek, like tears falling from the heavens. The sight of it mixing with your blood creating a thin stream of red rivers flowing beside him. They patter down obnoxiously because time didn't care, the gods don't care, the world didn't care. You were just a small fragile person to their eyes but to him you were his light. A candle that used to shine in his dark world was now dissipitated by the waters of reality.
Many droplets have passed and he was still holding you. Diluc could do nothing but stare. He hadn't shed any tears nor could he make a coherent sound. Perhaps it was because his tears have long run out when his father was held in the very same way. Or it was because he was heartless. He's usually told for being cold and indifferent. But the pain clenching in his chest was proof that he still had one (proof that it was still beating), much to his dismay. It would be better if he didn't.
So why can't he just look away? Your wounds, your bruised features, everything now etched so deep into the back of his conciousness that is was starting to awaken his worst nightmares. They were the source of the bile growing in his stomach. The irony stench filling up his nostrils felt so sickening. He couldn't turn away. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. As if reality had yet to register, or maybe he refused to accept it, Diluc helplessly gazed down your body with blank and empty eyes.
"Master Diluc..."
Jean's voice called out to him pitifully. He rises up with his back turned, ignoring the stares given to him, "Leave. The knights of favonius are not needed here."
"But she's a Mondstadt citizen," The anemo user retorts, slightly taken aback by his impassive reaction, "It's my responsibility to ensure this case doesn't go unnoticed."
Unnoticed. Diluc scoffs in his mind, what a tasteless joke.
"It seems you weren't listening," he announces as his head was turned ajar so they could see the deep hatred glowing red in his eyes, "Leave. Now."
Jean's lips trembled before barely being able to say, "Alright" and retreating her knights back to the city. Kaeya narrows his gaze at his bother, the sorrow was evident through his pupils. He steps forward until he was arms length away from his brother. Too little too late, another failure was added to the belt.
Kaeya was a man of many words but for once he was at loss of what to say. No underhanded suggestions, no ideas taunting him to spill his thoughts, he simply asks Diluc, "What are you planning to do now?"
Silence. Kaeya couldn't predict what sort of expression his brother was making as he looks at your corpse. It brought a heavy weight of unsettlement upon him and here he thought he had already grown used to his brother's quietness.
Slowly, he turns around while letting the water pour down his face. Kaeya tightens his jaw as Diluc drags his feet towards him, stopping when their shoulders were parallel, "It's none of your concern."
"You're just going to leave her here?"
There was a slight pause which was enough of an answer. The Cavalry Captain sighs when he watched him walk away, what was the point of asking when Kaeya knew Diluc so well? He glances at your form before swiftly shutting his eyes.
It was his concern.
-------
A week later, the staff of the Ragnvindr household could hardly recognize their Master's appearance. They knew not to bother him when he decides to lock himself in his chambers. Diluc drowns himself with work from hours to no end as he connects the findings of the person that took your life. As expected, it was one of his enemies- a fatui member. The question was, which one?
"Master Diluc, I beg of you, please take care of yourself," Elzer pleads.
The pyro user didn't bother to spare him a glance or look at the tray of food he carried.
Food...you always brought them whenever he had to work overtime.
"I do not remember specifiying anyone to be allowed in my office," he voices aloud, "If it's related to business affairs simply leave that with Adelinde and I'll take a look at it tomorrow."
"I understand. But you've been working all day and night yet refusing to take any breaks in between. At this rate, you'll harm your health."
The feather pen in his grip kept dragging it's course, "This is beyond the duties assigned to you Elzer."
"That's because it was a request sent by your father," he adds, knowing that stepping over his boundaries may cost him, "If Master Crepus was still here, I'm sure he would have said the same thing."
Taking a deep breath, Elzer lays out his last card, "And also your wife."
The pen slows into a halt.
No one had brought you up until now. Elzer anxiously watches his Master shifting in his seat, his red bangs covering half of his face but he could still see the frown pressing firmly on his lips. It wouldn't be a surprise if Diluc suddenly bursted at him for mentioning such a sensitive topic, all that matters was his master's well being and Elzer was willing to risk everything for it. But nothing. Diluc turns his attention ever so slightly at the tray he carried.
"Fine, but I'm not eating that."
"What? Wasn't this was her favourite-"
"Do I need to repeat myself?"
Elzer furrows his brows before sighing, "...No, Master Diluc."
He exits the room while carrying the fresh dish of Once Upon A Mondstadt that you loved so much. The door closes with a soft click and he was alone again.
People found it strange how Diluc seemed so vacant to your passing. He didn't even show up at your funeral. Instead, he continues his duties as a Mondstadt nobleman like usual while taking care of business matters associated with the winery. Except those who were close to him could see the difference in his actions. Apathy, he was so mechanical in every task he did. Like a marionette attatched on strings, a doll without a soul. After all, his soul died the moment when yours did too. What remains was a shadow of Diluc and a being existing solely for revenge and duty. He was nothing but a remnant.
Fatigue begins to wash over him and he fights to stay awake. Because once he gives in it will all be over. Once he closes his eyes, he would see your face with a multitude of images from the past. He would hear your voice calling out his name from a distant space as it echoes off the walls of his mind. He would fall into a dream where you were still with him and as always, waking up to see that it was never real.
I should have pushed you away.
Because what hurt Diluc the most wasn't that you were gone, rather, it was how you were still here.
Then you'd still be-
Something breaks and it turned out to be the pen he was holding so tightly. Only now Diluc realized how fast his heart was thrumming as beads of sweat began rolling down his forehead. Focus. Don't waste time. He won't grant himself the liberty of anything when your murderer was still on the run. Every wound they inflicted on you was going to be returned in tenfold. He'll make sure of it. That's why, he refuses to think about you at all. Diluc occupies his mind with other matters since at this point, work was the only efficient method of keeping his sanity in tact.
She needs you to focus.
The door opens and Kaeya enters the room while holding a document, "We found the guy."
His reaction was immediate, "Where?"
"Hm, now that we meet, it's actually quite debateable," The captain notes wryly, "When was the last time you've gotten proper rest?"
"I don't have time for this, either you tell me or I'll do it by force."
Kaeya couldn't help but sigh, "Apologies but you don't seem to be in any state for a fight. I'm sure you know how it would end up if you were to face your enemy right now."
"..."
"Diluc, this isn't healthy," Kaeya asserts, it's been a while since he sounded so sincere, "I'm not here to prevent you from doing what's necessary however, perhaps it would be better if I finished it in your stead."
"No," Diluc stubbornly answers, "Hand that over."
"...Heh, then there's really nothing I can do to stop you it seems," he whispers with a sad smile, "At the very least, be careful."
"I intend to," The pyro user snatches the paper parchment out of Kaeya's hands before opening the window, "Also, if Elzer returns, tell him there's a few errands I have to take care of."
The night was a full moon and the sky was empty, Diluc leaps off the edge and disappears into the darkness. There was no telling of what could happen next. Since you weren't here, it was up to Kaeya to watch over him.
-------
The claymore dropped to the ground with a clang as it soaks up the blood of the fatui he just killed.
Diluc was tired, so tired.
He slumps down against the wall from pure exhaustion, all that adrenaline and hatred went up in fumes, leaving behind whatever was left in his heart: nothing. Two hours, not even that far from Mondstadt, the fatui hid in an abandoned building as he cowarded for his life. When Diluc arrived, he never expected this monster to be so weak. This was the person who murdered you? A pathetic nobody that was simply following orders? This was the reason why he lost you forever?
In the end, the only one to blame was himself, for being weak and unable to protect you. He was supposed to be your hero ("Darknight hero," you'd always tease), the rock that shields you just as you had been the warmth he longed for many years, did he give you enough? Was this enough? He thought avenging your death would grant him a peace of mind and the justice you deserved but deep down, he knew it will never be enough when it comes to his love for you.
"Diluc."
He closes his eyes, he hears your voice. He was so tired, it wouldn't be a surprise if he started hallucinating.
"Diluc."
"I'm sorry..."
The man lets out a trembled breath as he apologized to the image of you in his mind. I'm sorry I failed you. They were repeated like a mantra in hopes to reach you somehow. Of course that was impossible, his feelings, his emotions, love and sorrow altogether will never reach you again. And your arms that once comforted him and brushed his hair with a soothing voice, saying everything will be okay, where are they now?
"Diluc."
"Stop," he didn't want to hear your voice.
"Diluc, I'm here."
"Stop..."
"Diluc..."
He jolts his eyes open and lets out a yell, what was he saying? He doesn't know. All he needed now was to drown out the fake voices mocking in his head. Diluc grabs the nearest object and shatters it against the floor, the dam was broken and it flooded uncontrollably, breaking everything in it's way. The abandoned house was filled with loud cries of a man sobbing with agony like a broken-hearted child. He crumbles to his knees and falls to his side, lifting his forearms while clutching his face.
And screamed.
Archons, what did he do to deserve this? Why do the people he cherish get taken away from him? Diluc never wanted to be the Darknight hero if it meant having his father perish in his arms. He didn't want the feeling of stabs against his chest with every breath he took. He didn't want to feel cold while knowing it was because you weren't here to hold him. He didn't want your voice, your pictures or your memory.
He wanted you.
"(Y/n)..." he chokes. Rolling to his back, Diluc moves his arms to cover his eyes, letting the tears run down to his ears, "(Y/n)..."
For who knows how long, he lays there in the abandoned building and mourns. Diluc doesn't have the strength to move from his position, he found himself staring mindlessly through the cracks of the roof when his voice had gone hoarse. The corners of his eyes still burned and his head was throbbing with so much pain. Maybe he should just stay here but the thought of being in the same room as your murderer was unfathomable.
Picking up his claymore once again, Diluc drags himself out of the door. Where would he go? It's not like he had a home to return to because home was when he was with you. A doll without a soul, the marionette moves as if the strings have commanded him to do so. Where ever it takes him, he didn't care. He just knew he had to go.
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redwhump · 2 years ago
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Dust #2: Dread
Previous
Masterlist
I originally intended to do some AI/robot/machine whump here but what I wrote just wasn't working so I wrote this instead. I might post that eventually if I manage to make it work. This chapter has no real whump in it, but the next one definitely will.
Summary: Dawn tries to find Dust and his ship. Dust is a captive and receiving treatment for his injuries.
Contains: no actual whump. Medical treatment (that the character being treated hasn't exactly consented to, though he would probably consent to most of it if asked), restraints, fear of a loved one being dead, fear of being poisoned and/or drugged (with something other than what the patient is supposed to be getting) by a medical professional, fear of torture.
---
Dawn feared the worst. He had for some time now. There had been no distress signal, and every second that passed while Dust was missing made it more likely Dawn would find him dead, if he found him at all.
Broken pieces of metal gleamed from the exterior lights of his ship as he passed them. Some were recognizable as parts of a ship--a thruster, a wing, part of the interior of a cockpit--and others were simply shards of metal that could have been anything before they had been torn apart.
As he eyed debris suspended in space, Dawn found himself hoping that Gossamer was at least intact enough to recognize, even if finding them confirmed his worst fears. He needed to know.
While Dawn dreaded what he might find, the actual process of searching was actually quite dull. He spaced out as he kept scanning endless pieces of scrap for signs of Gossamer. He had zoned out enough that when he saw the ship's familiar hull in front of him, lit by his ship's lights, it took him several moments to react. He blinked, eyes wide, hands tight on the controls of his ship.
The canopy had a hole in it. A large one. Dawn's breath caught in his throat.
It might be fine. It didn't have to mean Dust was dead. Dust could very well be inside, alive and well, unable to contact anyone because his comms had broken.
Dawn pressed down the button for the line to the others in his squad searching the wrecks for salvage and survivors. "Going out to check out the interior of a ship. I'll send my coordinates."
After the others confirmed they'd heard, Dawn double checked his suit's air supply and the tether connecting him to the ship. He clipped an extra tether on as well. His hands were shaking, and he had to try a few times to clip it on correctly. He wanted a second tether he could clip to Dust if--no, not if. When he found Dust. And a failsafe was always a good idea.
Dawn saw one of the others arrive, slowing to a stop behind Gossamer. With trembling hands, Dawn unstrapped himself from his seat and opened his canopy. He pulled himself out of the cockpit, then pushed off his ship's hull towards Dust's ship. He floated through the space between the ships gently, then hit Dust's ship.
Dawn's fingers wrapped around the edge of the hole in the canopy as he landed, holding himself in place. He held on, and used his other hand to move himself so he could look through the hole. His heart pounded. He should have had someone else do this, he didn't want to find Dust's corpse--he froze as he looked inside.
The cockpit was empty.
*
Dust opened his eyes to see the nurse who entered his brightly lit room. He watched with bleary eyes as they prepared a bag of some liquid and hung it on the drip stand next to him.
"What…" his voice was hoarse. "What's that?"
The nurse didn't look at him as they answered, keeping their eyes on the bag and the tubing they were connecting to it. "Antibiotics." The nurse gave him a quick smile he assumed was meant to be reassuring after they finished with the tubing.
Dust hummed in response. His head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton balls. He wanted to sleep. He didn't want to fall asleep before the nurse left.
"This might feel a little cold," the nurse informed him as they started the drip. It did. Dust's fingers twitched slightly at the sensation.
Part of him wanted to rip out the IV. To try to run. He couldn't, cuffed to the hospital bed as he was. Even if he wasn't restrained, he needed the antibiotics to live.
The IV bag could have contained anything, though. A poison that would kill him, or something that would make his pain worse, or some drug that would mess with his thoughts. He was a prisoner here, and he knew the stories of what happened to those captured by the enemy.
They need you alive if they want to do any of the things you've heard about.
Somehow, that wasn't a reassuring thought. And at the same time, it was. He did not want to die.
"How would you rate your pain?" the nurse's voice broke Dust out of the dark line of thought.
"S'alright," Dust mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open. His stomach wound did hurt, but not too badly. He wasn't sure if it was the drugs or something else, but while he was aware of the pain, it felt distant. Like it wasn't really him feeling it.
"Someone will be back to check on you," the nurse glanced at the whiteboard on the wall, "in about an hour. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call for help."
Dust nodded. He watched the nurse leave, the door sliding closed behind them with a soft metallic noise. Dust was certain it wouldn't open for him if he tried to approach it.
As his eyes drifted closed, Dust wondered what his captors' plan for him was after he recovered.
Dust feared the worst.
---
It just occurred to me that both this and the previous chapter end in Dust passing out? That was not intentional but it is kind of fun I guess.
Taglist: @looptheloup (let me know if you want to be added or removed)
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dexilou · 2 years ago
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"Secrets Between Friends." Part Two
Grian lead me down his winding staircase, through the basement and down some stairs into a small room. Attached to the room was a narrow underground railroad so long you couldn't see the end.
To say I was surprised would be an understatement. How had he built this whole thing without me knowing? I might have seen him sneak down the stairs some nights, but never would've guessed he was keeping secrets from me.
I tried to keep the shock off my face. I didn't want to encourage him.
"You already have a train station. Why do you need another one?" I asked.
Grian didn't answer me, just shrugged unable to meet my gaze.
After an awkward silence, I spoke up. "Well, where are the minecarts?"
He winced. "I haven't finished it yet."
And that's how I found myself following Grian, on traintracks through an secret underground tunnel to who knows where, All while in an tense silence. Safe to say it's not what I thought I'd be doing this morning.
When we reached the end, my breath caught in my throat. I saw it. The doorway that would lead into a room. A room hidden away miles from his base. A room hiding a secret.
I glanced at Grian before entering. He seemed calmer, like he was in his element, almost. That thought scared me. I had never been scared of Grian before.
I stepped through the doorway and entered a long stone room. The first thing I saw was a large Grian head taking up the back wall.
I looked to Grian for some kind of explanation. He only shurgged again, I'm not sure what I expected.
Lining either side of the room, were more doorways. Taking a closer look I saw names plaqued above each door. One for every member of the server. My blood ran cold. I spun around to face my friend, fists clenched.
"What is this Grian?"
Then he looked me dead in the eyes, and I could of swore he had a purple tint to his. But all was forgotten when he spoke.
"They're tunnels to the other bases." He said it so simply, like stating an obvious fact, like it was normal.
I knew what it was of course, I just had to hear it from him.
"Take it down,"
"I can't Taurtis," he didn't seem to think what he was doing was wrong, like it was normal thing to do. It defentally was not normal.
"Why do you even need all this?" I gestured around the room.
He stared at me with cold dead eyes.
"I need to watch,"
"Watch," I repeated, "Why?"
He only repeated "I need to watch" again. He wasn't going to tear it down, I knew by the look in his eyes.
"Fine," I huffed, passing Grian to the exit, "I'm leaving,"
"You can't leave,"
The waver in my friend's voice almost made me turn around. He was fragile, and I was about to break him.
I started my way down the railway tunnel, not letting myself look back.
"They need to know, Grian,"
My friend shouted from the spot he still stood in that stupid room.
"You promised Taurtis!"
I continued ignoring him.
"You promised you wouldn't!" His voice cracked revealing his fear.
I forced my legs to keep moving, squeezing my eyes shut, hoping to block out the noise.
And then he screamed, shrill and painful, I could hear the sob rise from his throat.
"You promised, Taurtis!" He kept repeating it over and over to himself.
He stopped screaming after that. I could hear his sobs echoing through the tunnel. It broke me.
Honestly, I didn't leave because of the secret room. It was strange, sure, but I would've normally talked some sense into him. Maybe I left because of the mumbling in that garbled language. Or maybe the strange purple, in his once brown eyes.
No, I left because something was different about the way he looked at me.
He looked at me with a morbid curiousity. Like a predator watching it's prey. Like I had was hiding a secret within me, and he wouldn't hesitate to pull me apart to find out.
Grian isn't the only one in that room. Something's in him. I intend to find out what it is and kill it. I have a feeling it has something to do with the Watcher things. I don't care how scary or mysterious they are, I'd kill them all if I had too. I'm going to save Grian.
I apologize for the wait. thank you for tolerating my incompetence. I was about to post this some time ago when I somehow deleted the whole thing. I feel the original was better but I copied it best I can. As a result, it's kind of rushed but I wanted to get it out there. Hope you enjoyed!
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