#stop hiding from me in the trees!!! i dont give a shit THE FOOD IS THERE FOR YOU!!!!

[springeneticist]

the pigeons who come to my window feeder cant decide whether they are hungry enough to not be scared of me yet ...

[bubblyhoney]

can i request a fic where sapnap takes the reader to his hometown? like the classic going to places he went to when he was younger. maybe playgrounds and ice cream shops idk

places i used to go

warnings: language of course, an allusion to virginap, my uneducated guess of what sapnap was like in highschool, tiny detail of long haired!sapnap, singular canon detail of underage drinking, jokish about marriage

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

words: 2191

A/N: you are a god, anon. i love comfy and nostalgic fics like these and it was so fun to write. if you hate it dont tell me but if you like it lemme know akskdjd

inbox/requests: open

-

The wind whips fast on your bare fingers, cool and quick and raising goosebumps in its wake. You blink in the haze of the early sunset, head lolled to the side of the headrest. It feels good.

“That’s where I went to high school.” Sapnap interrupts your thoughts and points a finger at a collection of tall brick buildings down a side street. The silver of the lettering is dull, but you can still feel the nostalgia.

“And you’re about to see the park that me and my friends used to hang out at after work and—actually, nevermind.” His arm drops to the middle console and he looks straight ahead with slightly pinker cheeks.

“Do what?” You ask, voice all sweet, and a grin grows on your face. You turn towards him and wiggle your eyebrows.

“Nothing. Homework.” He avoids your eye contact and hikes his hand up higher on the steering wheel. “Anyways— Do you want to get some food before we head out? I know a great place.”

You two were just coming to a close on your little trip to visit his family; it was his step-mom’s birthday and you decided to make a week of it. It was your first long-term trip with Sapnap, and also your first time meeting his dad’s side of the family. You were proud to say she loved you. His little sister took a little more effort to talk to you of her own volition, but soon enough she was on your side.

You have a couple hours to kill before making your flight back home, so Sapnap has taken it upon himself to give you a quick tour of his hometown.

“Yeah,” you decide, bottom lip popped out. “Can we get ice cream after?”

“Uh, duh.” The Neighbourhood’s Stargazing starts through the speakers and he reaches to turn it down. “I’m so ready to get home and sleep.” He stretches his neck in his seat, letting out an uncharacteristically inappropriate grunt when his bones pop. You make a disgusted face, nose wrinkling, but stretch your own back, slumping down in the seat. The day had been full of packing up and this horrible hike his dad liked to do early in the mornings, so you two were pretty beat.

“Okay, we’re here,” he announces three sleepy minutes later in his best attempt at a whisper. Lifting your head off of the corner of your seat, you blink in the setting sunlight as a yawn splits your face. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up,” you mumble, and struggle to get your seatbelt off in that post-nap haze. You’d barely been asleep for thirty seconds, damn it. The air is a swampy heat when you step out of the car onto rocky gravel and nearly twist your ankle climbing over the curb. Sapnap catches you by the lower back, trying to hide his laugh but failing miserably. You slide him a dirty look, smacking his shoulder as hard as you can manage while limping towards the front entrance.

The door jingles when you two breach the doorway, alerting a bored-looking hostess that the circus has arrived. She looks at Sapnap a second longer than she should, eyebrows screwed together in silent confusion. But she leads the two of you to a booth near a large window, handing you sticky menus and promptly fucking right off to the host station. She nearly runs.

“Do you know her?” You ask, inconspicuously hiding your face in the search for their 24/7 breakfast menu. You feel his eyes on you.

“Don’t think so.” He leans on one elbow and slides his phone out of his jeans’ pocket. In the 25 seconds it takes for you to find their french toast and sides menu, he has browsed and closed his phone with an animatedly shocked look on his face.

“What?” You give him a weird look and put down the menu.

“I totally went to homecoming with that girl.” He eyes the hostess. You glance over at her again, meeting her gaze, and offer a polite smile. She turns away quickly, eyes wide.

“She’s cute,” you say, voice high and fake, and he drums his fingers on the tabletop as an amused look makes its way onto his face.

“Are you—?”

“What?” You reply right back.

“Nothing.”

Thank God the server comes up to your table then and starts asking for drink orders, or else you’d have to admit (sheepishly) you were a tiny eensy-weensy bit annoyed. Only a tad. But after requesting a Dr. Pepper and a water the conversation surrounding the nervous-looking hostess dies.

“I’m so hungry I think I feel my stomach shrinking.” You flop your head onto your arm on the table top and make a whiny noise into the stack of napkins your server left at the table. Sapnap rubs his thumb into the side of your forearm, touch warm and nearly dissolving the pangs of hunger and jealousy.

“You weren’t hungry an hour ago.” He lifts your hand to his face and plants a kiss on the back of it. Oh, pulling out the big guns, huh? “I would have made you something.”

You tilt onto your chin, pouting, and stare up at his cute face. His cute, scruffy, perfectly-kissable face.

“I think I got hungry staring at you for half an hour.” A mischievous grin grows on your previously-petulant face and he just shakes his head.

“I do have that effect,” he admits with cockiness in his tone, lifting his eyebrows and leaning back into the booth with his lips pursed.

The server returns with two glasses and takes your food orders onto their little yellow notepad. You chug the water down when they leave for the kitchen, getting your lap and chin thoroughly wet in the process. Sapnap just snorts at you and shoves the napkins your way.

“So,” you start, patting dry your jeans. “tell me what you were like in high school.” You cross your arms and settle into the booth, smirk on your lips.

“What I was like?” He parrots, sipping at his soda, looking thoughtful. “Firstly, a virgin.” You make a noise. Duh. Dude had a buzz cut his junior year. (You’ve seen the pictures. His step-mom particularly likes them.) “Secondly, I was actually— well, I wasn’t popular, but I had a lot of friends. We were all semi-athletic lonely band kids but we had fun. Had one girlfriend senior year but she went to Cal Tech in the fall and I didn’t. I, um, worked at a Dairy Queen in the summers and gained so much weight I had to lose all over again for Unified Track.”

“Relatable,” you comment, drinking noisily at your water. He fiddles with the paper straw wrapper and crunches it up into a ball. It goes soaring into your drink with a quiet “Kobe” and you just give him a look. He smiles toothily right back at you. “Stop being cute, I’m trying to listen to your story.”

“Oh, my bad,” he mocks. “Anyways. That’s what I was like in highschool.” You fish the paper ball out of your water and flick it wetly at his arm. It sticks and you choke on a laugh, cheeks puffed.

Two plates of warm food are set down loudly onto the table and you thank the server with a surprised smile, Sapnap mirroring you.

Two minutes of wordless chewing passes, minds occupied just by “food, me eat” instead of anything related to your previous conversation. You realize that Sapnap is one of the loudest chewers ever, and he realizes that you fail to notice the streak of maple syrup in your hair.

“C’mere,” he mumbles through a mouthful of omelet and hash browns and beckons you with his hand. You lean closer, chewing slowly, as he pats a napkin at the strands of hair trapped in syrup.

“Thanks, baby.” You take the napkin from him and pause your assault of the warm french toast before you to clean the sticky sugar out of your hair. He just watches you, half of a smile on his lips.

You two finish your food in record time. It’s borderline vacuum-like. There’s a short grace period where you just sit like two lazy cats, slumped down in the booth and holding your full stomachs. But the check comes soon after, and you both pay your way and are out of the restaurant without any mad dashes for the bathroom. A miracle, really, because of the American-like amount of butter you both consume.

“I’m a much more functional person now,” you mutter into the cotton of his shoulder, swinging your hand in his. He just hums in agreement.

“I guess we’re not getting ice cream, then,” he teases, and you just groan in response.

“I don’t feel like having diarrhea on a plane, unfortunately.” You sigh heavily when you have to split and get into your respective sides of the rental car.

The entire trip (somewhat roundabout because of the amount of side quests to show you things from his childhood) to the airport Sapnap is a chatterbox. He’s like this when he has sugar: either bouncing off the walls with energy or talking your ear off.

“That’s where my dad proposed to my step-mom. I was kinda young but I remember being surprised at how big the ring was— dude broke the bank for her.” It’s a little gazebo you catch a glimpse of through the trees in a park. It probably was an incredibly picturesque moment, and you can sense how much she must have loved it. With just meeting them this weekend, you can already see how much love those two have for each other.

You hope people can see how much you love Sapnap.

“Oh my God, it’s still there.” He points out the side of your window to what looks like a Dairy Queen that has been through World War 3. “My buddy Eric and I once spilled a gallon of that liquid ice-cream-shit all over the men’s bathroom.”

You shoot him a horrified look. “Why was it in the bathroom?”

He just smirks.

“—And that’s my Uncle Ron’s house. Had my first beer there.”

“And last, hopefully,” you add, pulling a disgusted face. The two story bungalow is cute, and one of your favorite colors: olive green. “That shit is nasty.”

He just shrugs and continues down the side street.

“Is this the park you were talking about?”

He pulls into the gravelly parking lot of a small clearing of tall trees, a picnic table and campfire sat squat in the middle. But he doesn’t respond, just turning the car off and climbing out. He reaches the passenger door without speaking, and opens it for you. You climb carefully out, confused.

“Come on.” He takes your hand and starts for a small path to the left of the picnic table. The mid-sunset shade envelopes the both of you.

“I hope this isn’t where you kill me.”

“No,” he snorts. “I just wanted to show you something.”

It’s just a few moments of stumbling through the damp underbrush before you’re coming face to face with a small, mossy pond that sits right underneath an incredibly old willow tree. He stops right on the edge of the rocky path and turns toward you.

“This your make out spot?” You ask between a grin as he snakes an arm around your waist and tugs you flush to him. Your innocent smile fades when you feel the press of his lips to the side of your neck, light and ticklish. Oh.

“No,” he murmurs, and just breathes you in. “I came here once—the night before I graduated highschool. And I told myself when I really really loved someone I’d take them here with me.” He sways with you in his grasp, a gentle and song-less dance.

You grip his shoulder tighter in your hand and lean into him.

“That’s— awfully romantic, huh?” Your voice is quiet. Almost nervous. He just makes a noise of agreement.

“So here we are.” His voice is the opposite of yours, all strong and confident.

You two just move together for a moment. The sun breaks through the tree canopy, shining bright orange down onto the glassy surface of the pond. Crickets and frogs chirp back and forth as the willow vines swing in a cool evening breeze. You watch nature come alive around you, suddenly grateful for the man in your arms.

“Don’t propose,” you whisper, breaking the gentle tension. A laugh breaks the silence and he’s pulling away to look at you. Maybe in disbelief. A strand of hair falls into his eyes and you brush it away, fingers stilling on his temple and sliding down onto his cheek. Stubble scrapes against the skin of your palm and he stares at you through those meadow eyes.

You realize in that moment that he is exactly himself. Of course he is. He’s Sapnap, and everything that encompasses that. Dark and light and fiery and cool. He always has been, and always will be.

You realize you wouldn’t mind if he proposed.

-

A/N: ask or send me some stuff!! requests, rants, anything. let me know what you think

[natsukitakama]

Hey you <3 I just wanted to request a headcanon for the 104th cadets, please : how do they act while playing co-op games (you know, the kind you have to resolve some kind of enigmas, like pressing two buttons at the same time, etc) with their s/o ? Thanks a lot !

Author note : hi there ❤️ thank you for your request hope you’ll enjoy this ♡ Somehow I described them as a gamer ? Hope you’re fine with that, I actually really enjoy this 

i do not own those gifs credit to the owner(s)

Warning : rage quit / eren is litteraly me / Modern AU cause the canon-verse suck Lmao / I based this on my own experience 

Masterlist

Eren Jaeger - impulsive 

How did you not end up dumping him ? The man is DANGEROUS 

You think that he is all screaming and yelling like all the FUCKING time ? 

Play a game with him 

Spoiler : it’s worst 

I mean at first he saw this as a challenge and just getting the possibility to do play a game with you ? 

He couldn’t say no to that 

The thing he just took this way to personally, so he had to finish this with the best score getting the things you had to unlock during a game. 

He had to 

Doesn’t mean you want to.

The whole idea of co-op game is to play together in order to finish the game

But he didn’t hear that : he wants to do everything by himself 

And when he can’t do it he would ask some help.

Don’t expect him to be good with synchro-enigma he can’t he is either too quick or too late. 

I’m sorry to say that but he might complain about your game (while he was the one who is losing all the heart because he can’t read an enigma properly) 

And you see me coming but if can’t resolve an enigma and if you can’t help him he would just stop and won’t play at this game until he feels like he can do it 

Oh and he sucks at game like Overcooked you know those kind of things were you’re supposed to work at the same Time as his partners he is either too slow either too quick (but always pretend he isn’t his fault) 

Don’t think I mentioned that but he cursed a lot, he complained a lot (to my fellow frenchie he is like Sardoche in real life I don’t make the rule here) 

7/10 because it’s funny to see him being angry at a game 

Mikasa - skilful

i wanted to say that if you’re not eren she won’t play with you LMAO 

But if she is dating you, she would do it because she wants to please you and spend some good quality time with you (she is not a fan of video game but she can tolerate some RPG) 

She tends to be quiet while playing and only speaks when she got an idea about how to solve enigma or difficult game who implies being coordinate. 

You didn’t have to anything in such mission she will synchronise her game with you don’t question her. I don’t know how she is doing it but she can no matter if you tend to push way to quickly every button or if you’re a slow one. One look from her and she does it 

She is really god any games it piss me off

When you struggle at an enigma that you decided to resolve on your own she will either give you tiny tips or just ask you to just stop right now get some tea and try again later when you’ll be more relax 

The only problem with her is she wants to help so much that she might do everything on her own especially if one of your mission imply fighting (like kill a boss together to unlock another level) she would quickly get over it without questioning you and you end up getting so many xp and items while you didn’t ever touch anything 

She wants to help you so much poor thing ♡ 

Also if you’re hurt during a game or if you life are pretty low she would stop everything in order to heal you. Even if it’s very cute from her, it piss you off cause now you have to start again because both of you died together. 

9/10 she is the best she cooks cookie prepare some tea for you. 

Armin - strategic 

i love him I really do 

But you can’t play with him 

He needs to make a plan on every mission, Like sweetie just relax you need to chill a little bit. 

Although he tends to overthink everytime He is very good when your goal is to kill a boss, cause he will do two jobs : healing and helping you to kill him. Give him 5 min and he will give you a whole tactics so you can fight the boss easily and earn even more xp. He won’t be afraid to go and heal you too if you’re in need and would never judge you if you’re struggling (even if he guides you during the game) he understand that the game is pretty difficult. 

He is good to with enigma like it’s just sound quite easy for him. All he has to do is read the thing and BANG he got the solution how can you do that ?

He will even explain the whole thing so you could also resolve enigma with him 

The problem is he is way too slow, if your level implies being coordinate it would take you forever until being able to finish the game. Especially because he is not comfortable with a joystick like they got way too many button and he is not good with coordination so he ends up being confused with the button 

When it came to videotgameswhere all of you have to work in coordination, he is always slow. He really tries but he is always way too slow, but he counterbalances his lack of skills with his minds so after you’ll lose because he couldn’t manage to do something within 30s he’ll find a solution to win 

It’s really funny to play a cop-game with him on Fortnite cause he’s like « y/n why would you play at such a game ? What’s the point of killing people ? » and he is the one who is throwing a grenade and shoot at the same time so a lot of people can dies with one shot or planing a trap so a lot of people might die at the same time. He is very dangerous when he wants to just saying. 

8/10 because sometimes mind isn’t enough and you need skill to win 

Jean - Skill and minds 

Do not let him play with Eren 

I swear don’t do it otherwise they would spend the whole game yelling at each other « you should come quicker Horse face ! » « Oh yeah ? Who’s the one who though that would be wise to attack the boss without getting heal first uh ? Such an idiot bastard » 

It’s not comfortable if you’re playing while being on the phone but it’s so funny to see him getting angry because Eren (as usual) run without thinking about a plan

Like Armin he tends to be very good when it came to resolve enigma or find an enemy’s weakness : all he has to do is to let Eren, Connie and Sasha run at first so he could analyze the boss’ behavior (yeah he totally uses them as guinea pig and he doesn’t regret that especially when he hears Eren getting Angry or Connie complaining it’s so funny) 

Unlike Armin he is pretty food with a controller so he can actually being very efficient as long as Mikasa isn’t around 

He tends to be close to you EVERYTIME and he would even protect you, heal you everytime you got hurt because you protects Connie, Eren or Armin, it’s cute at first but very annoying then because he only focus on you and isn’t into the game anymore. When he turns like that, someone need to tease him about not being good like Eren and he will scream a little bit (how dare you as if he could even be worst than that suicidal bastard) but then he is on it. 

Watch him beating the shit out of the boss 

BUT when it came to games like overcooked when you have to share task he is bad. Not because he isn’t skillful but because he wants to be the chief so badly and of course Eren thought he could be the leader while everyone knows he isn’t coordinate enough to do that. So most of the time Armin is the leader in such a game 

Just give him a task where he has to be quick and he’ll be fine but don’t let him in the same group as Eren, they would argue about who should to this and you’ll end up losing because they argue. 

Also if you’re playing something like a RPG with him he gave you SO MANY things like everytime he drop something this is for you, at this point he doesn’t care about his character (he does but he can’t just not give you something) 

You didn’t ask it but I’m just say it, if you play animal crossing with him he would spoil the shit out of you, can’t blame him he just wants to help so badly. He’ll text you about his plan, the stuff he got he would even help you with flowers. 

8/10 because he tends to flirt with you or argue with Eren so you’ll lose precious time for the mission 

Connie & Sasha - Funny 

I put them together because 1) they tends to play everytime together 2) because they play the same way 3) they share one braincell (meaning either you’re dating connie or Sasha you’ll have to play together) 

One word : a mess 

Always questionnaire why we’re doing this or why we shouldn’t do this, this way 

BUT they’re like very synchronized, it’s like seeing someone and his reflection (sometimes you’re even jealous cause you can’t do that)

They tends to be very effective when you need to coordinate something 

They’re pretty skilled too 

But they can’t make a plan even to save their life 

The number of life you’ll lose because them and Eren decided to run into the boss’ lair without asking permission 

It should be illegal to run that easily anyway 

If Connie is really dumb when It came to enigma 

Sasha is very good to notice tiny elements that actually was the key to resolve the problem 

She tends to be super good to drop every tiny things that was hide behind a tree too a really hunt (but won’t share her things with you if you’re not giving her puppy eyes I’m sorry) 

But Connie is your best allies to fight couple of ennemie at the same time, like you were walking and boom you’re surrounded by NPC and he will come to save you. 

Connie is a protector 

I mean Sasha is too but she more into prevention, safety than protection but if during a game you might be in danger of course she’ll run after you (ask you extra cookies for that) 

Dont expect any of them to be good at enigma or games like overcooked, I mean Sasha might spend her whole call luring about foods while Connie might try to do everything on his own since he is incredible (he says it) 

If you’re calling one of them during a game, it’s actually more entertaining than the game, I can’t explain they’re just super funny

If you’re playing in a RPG that might have a huge map you’ll definitely lose them at some point during your game, they don’t have any sense of direction and since they can’t read a map (that’s me don’t bully me I’m trying) well they get lost and will send you a picture of their screen so you could help them  

6/10 because they’re trying to their best but since they share one brain cell well it’s always more complicated than it should be 

Bonus : Marco Bott - Motivating 

My cute sweetheart 

He is doing is best everytime you call him for a game 

He is so good at overcooked than I’m jealous of him 

Kinda good with Enigma but he is really good when game imply strategic (he also loves how focused you are and how he could motivate you with his plan) 

He doesn’t play at any games that involve war or anything so don’t ask him about a fortnite game he won’t do it 

He really love role-play (not put intended lmao), he is actually a good narrator and is so good at at owning xp : his character might not be the greatest when it came to strength but he is very balanced character 

Playing with him it’s actually relaxing, he never raise his voice and seemed to always find a way to relax anyone that might be too into it. 

Especially good when It came to help Eren and Jean to just shut up and play the game without yelling : don’t ask me how he does that the man is a genius 

If he teams up with Armin during game like Among us you loose any chance to win (I mean if you’re the traitor he would never say it but he noticed so does Armin but won’t say anything about it) the man knows everything, and is able to make you confess it’s really fun to watch but bother you when you’re loosing yourself in your explanation 

When it’s just you two playing a game together and somehow you struggle to resolve an enigma or a level, don’t worry your boyfriend Marco he is

The best cheerleader in the whole univers fight me on this 

+100 ego boost for Y/N 

In the end your resolve that damn enigma 

10/10 yeah I’m not impartial but I love him 

[blxetsi]

Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?

tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥

i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!

modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc

- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)

- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly

- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick

- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point

- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"

- she denies the crush on u 😔💔

- but then eren tells armin.

- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??

- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING

- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you

- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"

- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.

- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"

- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??

- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again

- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."

- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it

- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)

- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"

- now mikasa is a bit worried

- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot

- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot

- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go

- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?

- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.

- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.

- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"

- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried

- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist

- and then the rest is history 😌✨

- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm

- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other

- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends

- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries

- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks

- its so fun

- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates

- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest

- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"

- and its SILENT.

- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"

- until she just quietly says. "yes."

- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME

- ur gonna marry this girl 😐

- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.

- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)

- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")

- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare

- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍

- #gothmikasasupremacy

- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.

- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈✨)

- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other

- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing

- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐

- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"

- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited

- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny

- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg

- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍

- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years

- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍

- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍

- anyways

- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD

- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary

- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa

- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??

- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭

- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that

- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face

- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:

youre gonna marry her one day.

a/n

i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for

kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Blade is a fearless woman out in the apocalypse on her own when she comes across Negan in the woods. Quickly feeling a connection with him, Negan learns Blade does not like to share him.]

Smut

Negan and Blade

It had been eight months into the apocalypse now, you had no shelter, little water and only squirrels left to eat. Being by yourself wasnt much of a strain for you as most of your life you spent alone before the apocalypse. Standing by a fire you made in the woods, you cooked a few squirrels you had caught earlier in the day sharpening your knives leaning against a tree. Suddenly hearing the sound of crunching leaves not to far from you, you instantly stopped what you were doing. Putting your hood over your head you slowly began to turn, your knife ready for aim when a man appeared through the trees.

"Shit," you whispered looking at the fire behind you. Not trusting anyone, you didnt want to cause any attention on yourself but it was too late.

"What do we have here?" A mans voice made you turn back quickly ready for defense.

"Dont come any closer." The man could barely see your face hiding behind your hood. Noticing the knife in your hand the man lifted up his hands with a lazy smile.

"Come on, sweetheart. Put that down before you hurt yourself."

"Oh arent you quite funny." The sarcasm in your tone he actually liked. Observing what you had around you the man frowned noticing squirrels being cooked behind you.

"Ho-ly shit. Squirrels? Really, sweetheart?"

Right away you could tell this man was one who liked to play games, arrogant and slick. A man who thought he had a alot of charm thinking he could distract you with his little pet names.

"Stop speaking. Where the hell did you come from?"

"More like where the hell did you come from, darling. As far as I'm concerned your on my side of the woods." The cockiness in his tone made you scowl, he didnt seem intimated by you at all.

"Says who?"

"Says me. Negan."

"Well, Negan. I dont give a shit who you say you are. This is free land now get out of my face before you get hurt."

"Well shit-" Negan observed you from head to toe raising his brows.

"You do look like a you can give a mean fight." He noticed your buckled up black boots, your black ripped jeans, black top and a leather jacket, just like him. Yet, he couldnt help himself. With a smirk he slowly put his hands down and started to walk towards you.

"Dont push me, I mean it." You warned him waving the knife in his face when he suddenly caught your wrist in his hand. Still, you moved too quickly for him. Negan didnt expect you to get loose so quickly and next thing he knew you now had the knife pointed sharply against his neck. Looking up, careful not to move he laughed in disbelief as you held your place.

"Well look at that, a little tougher than I thought after all." Still with a cocky tone yet a look of surprise in his eyes, Negan did not move.

"Listen, darling I've got a sanctuary not far from here." He looked around at your surroundings with the knife still pointed at his neck.

"You look like you could use some help-"

"I dont." You responded stubbornly, truth be told you definitely needed help. But, having always found a way out of your struggles you were sure youd find a way.

"Listen to me. I have a sanctuary, I can give you a place to stay. You can have real food, shit we can use a girl like you on our side. What do ya say?" You couldnt believe even with a knife to his throat this man still had the urge to smile down at you. His offer did not sound bad at all, after all it was getting cold and you were running low on food.

"Where is the place?" You asked as he responded by pointing in the direction he came from. After a moment of uncertainty you slowly pulled the knife away from his neck leaving a red mark. Negan cracked his neck with a sigh.

"And if I dont like it. I'm leaving."

"Whatever you want, woman." Negan stood back as you gathered your belongings and pulled your hood back. For the first time Negan got a glimpse of the woman whom he had just had a confrontation with. Long dark hair lay over your shoulder as he noticed the other side of your head shaved.

"Mmm." A sound of satisfaction escaping his lips making you look up.

"What?" You asked with an attitude that he couldnt help but want to see more of.

"Nothing, darling. Nothing at all."

"Well, are you going to lead to where the hell this place is?" Placing your hands on your hips you asked with very little patience.

"This fucking woman." Negan muttered under his breath with a chuckle before leading the walk before you. Usually you would've never trusted a strange man this way but desperate times called for desperate measures. Plus, you knew how to defend yourself, you had faced worse before.

After a bit Negan and you walked side by side, his eyes helplessly drifting to you here and there. Your style attracting him, your fearlessness intriguing him, Negan wanted to know more.

"Do you have a name?"

"Of course I do." You responded sarcastically.

"Well are you going to tell me it, darling? Or are you going to make me fight for that too? I mean unless its cause you like the nicknames I've given you-"

"My name is Blade." Your interruption quickly silencing him.

"Blade..." he repeated as he looked you up and down.

"It sure fits."

Negan led you into what he called the Sanctuary. A heavily guarded space with many others, you had no idea how close you were to so much life all along. Right away you noticed each person having a job at the Sanctuary as everyone looked busy working on something. It was clear they didnt stay here for free. Introducing you to who he called his 'right hand man' Simon, Negan showed you around. In a room you entered, sat a few ladies clearly dressed differently from everyone else.

"These here are my lovely wives."

"Wives?" You looked at him strangely before looking back at the women. They were dressed in tight short black dresses, all wearing heels, you wondered where they found any of this. Raising a brow at him you crossed your arms wondering what he had in mind.

"If you thought I came back with you here to play a role of one of your wives, your sadly mistaken." Your loud voice making the women turn to you wondering who you were. Negan right away blocked their view of you, standing before you as he leaned one hand on the wall behind you.

"Easy, sweetheart. It wasnt a thought but since you mentioned it-" he bit down on his bottom lip.

"You would look damn good in a tight little dress."

"You wish," your tone just as arrogant as his and he liked it.

"Just a little bit." He whispered before you moved out of the small space he cornered you in and left the room.

"Just show me where I'm staying." Walking off Negan followed you closing the door behind him. Showing you the room you would stay in, it was nice to see a bed. You couldnt remember the last time you slept in a bed, it had been months. Negan noticed the way you looked at it and wondered how hard you must've had it all alone. He wondered how long you were all alone.

"This good enough?"

"Its great," your attitude quickly changing back to a nonchalant manner.

"Tell me, Blade-" Negan took a step in front of you wanting to be face to face.

"How long you been on your own?"

His question making you throw your head back with a chuckle, it had been so long since you last saw your family.

"Since I was seventeen," Negan frowned with your response a bit confused.

"Oh I been on my own long before this apocalyptic world ever took over. This is nothing new for me having to fend for myself, Negan. That's why I said if I have to leave I will, nothing I haven't handled before."

Negan squinted his eyes as you spoke, he could tell you've had it rough.

"Well let's hope you dont have to....I think it'd be nice having you around."

Was that a genuine compliment that didnt involve your looks or any sarcastic remark? He could tell you almost cracked a smile.

"Well, I'll let you get settled in. Theres food in the next room, make yourself comfortable." Negan began to walk out before you quickly turned towards him and called out for him.

"Hey Negan?"

"Mhm?" He turned to you leaning on the door way.

"Thanks," without saying a word he winked at you and left the room.

The next few days you began helping out the men by securing the fences surrounding the sanctuary. No one had put you up to this job but you knew you could do it.

"Well well well, I dont remember assigning you to this." Negan showed up behind you watching you twist the wires securely.

"I'm good with my hands, didnt think you'd mind."

"Good with your hands huh?"

Rolling your eyes you turned to him making him laugh.

"I'm sorry, some times I cant help myself."

"Well learn how to, or save that energy for all those wives."

Negan raised his brows at your quick come backs. A man who always enjoyed giving sarcasm yet rarely was ever on the other end.

"God you're fun to tease," you couldnt help but laugh along with him. You knew he purposely picked at you just to hear you come back at him. He enjoyed the feistiness you gave him, he enjoyed you not giving a shit to what he might think.

Just as you finished you went back inside to grab something to eat and Negan followed. He watched as you prepared yourself a sandwich, reaching across the table making your shirt go up he noticed a tattoo on your hip.

"What's that you got there?" Standing back straight you looked down to where his eyes were and pulled your shirt down.

"A tattoo. What never heard of one?" You responded defensively making him smirk.

"I got a few myself. Rarely come across women with them, especially in such a....sensitive spot." His voice was low as he came to realization that maybe you enjoyed a little bit of pain.

"Can I see it?"

Hesitantly you pressed your lips together before slightly lifting up your shirt and revealing a tattoo of a rose wrapped in barb wire.

"Mmmm.." he leaned in looking at it closely.

"Mean anything?"

"My middle name is Rose," you explained as he his eyes squinted.

"I take it the barb wire means pain," he continued looking up into your eyes.

"You can say that," you responded softly.

"How old are you, Blade?"

"31," you sat down across from him and began to eat.

"So you've been on your own since 17, shit wheres your family?"

"Hopefully dead," your response was blunt before you took another bite.

"Surrounded by assholes huh?"

"Real big assholes. They didn't care for me so I dont care for them, I've been better off alone anyways."

"I cant argue with that," Negans eyes wandered over your features.

"Done a pretty good job with yourself."

Not really knowing how to take a compliment without some form of back handed comment you looked away.

"Yeah well you gotta do what you gotta do," you responded confidently.

"What are you doing here anyways? Wont your wives wonder where you are?"

Negan chuckled at the mention of them, he could tell you were enjoying his company and didnt want him to leave.

"I wont go anywhere if you dont want me to, darling." His unexpected response making your cheeks turn red.

"I never said-"

"Do you really think you can lie to me?" He leaned in close staring directly into your eyes across the table.

"Why the hell do you want to stay anyways?"

"Maybe I like spending time with you too."

What the hell was this man doing? It was hard to deny that you did indeed like spending time with him but, this was the last thing you needed. The man had multiple wives, an arrogant way of thinking but God he was so sexy.. His style attracted you to him, his voice, his eyes whenever he spoke to you.

"What are you thinking about?" Negan bit his bottom lip with a smile, he could see right through you.

"Nothing. I'm exhausted and I'm full and want to go to bed soon."

"Oh yeah? Is that what's going through your head right now?"

"Yes. That's it." You stood up picking up your plate and taking it to the sink. Negan stood up with you eagerly following you by the counter.

"You sure that's what you're thinking about?" He asked again with a grin leaning his face close to yours.

"I think you're thinking about something that involves me....and you just cant admit it." His voice was a deep whisper, the way he spoke sent a tingle to the pit of your stomach.

"No the hell I am not. What the hell makes you think that?" You walked past him rushing into your bedroom as he quickly followed behind.

"Look at you, you could barely stay still. You're fidgeting, getting all nervous. Am I making you nervous, baby?" He teased.

"Dont call me baby," you turned to him with frustration.

"Fine," he stepped close to you and spoke very slowly.

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me you're not thinking about what I could do to you." Your lips parted as you smelled his scent so close to you. You couldnt speak, you couldnt move and Negan knew he had complete control. Looking down at your lips he slowly caressed your face and leaned in for a soft kiss. Not fighting it you felt his lips sensually move against yours, his tongue slipping through the crack of your lips to tease yours. Moaning against him, Negan didnt separate his lips from you as he reached behind him and shut the door. Taking off his jacket and quickly unbuttoning his pants Negan threw you back on the bed. Continuing to kiss you down to your neck, you felt his tongue make swirls on your skin making you squeeze him.

Negan pulled off your clothing and aggresivly turned you around. The tattoo of the barb wire rose continuing from your side to your lower back made Negan lick his lips in satisfaction.

"Get up," he spoke hoarsely as you got on your knees and positioned yourself in front of him. Feeling his large hand on your lower back you felt him easily slide in you. Negan wasted no time in grabbing your hips and making you slam back against him. Moaning you grabbed the covers tightly, it had been so long since you felt this pleasure. Negan could tell by the way you cried out when he first entered you. The sound of longing to be touched, the sound of your needs finally being met.

"Give it to me harder," you spoke seductively only arousing him more. Negan grabbed you by your hair pulling you back up against him. His hand grabbing your throat as he pressed his lips to the side of your face and kept thrusting. Groaning, he gave your throat a tighter squeeze. Gasping for air, you could hear him breathing erratically against your ear.

"Oh Blade," you rolled your eyes back at the sound of his voice, he couldn't hold himself any longer. Negan pushed you back down before he quickly pulled out and released himself all over your back.

"Fuck.." he moaned as he stepped back out of breath. Cleaning yourself up as he got dressed, you stood up and walked towards him

"You should stay here tonight," your suggestion making him look up at you with half a smile.

"Oh darling I would. I've got some business I need to take care of but-" he stood up and ran his hands up your thighs and hips.

"I promise I'll come by as soon as I'm done." Negan grabbed your face and kissed you passionately. What the hell was going on with you? Why was this man getting a hold on you so quickly? Without saying anything more Negan left your room leaving you to think over what just happened. Leaving you to think over the way he looked at you, the things he said to you. He actually admitted to liking to spend time with you, the thought made you blush to yourself. You couldnt wait for him to return, it being so late at night you wondered what business he had to take care of. A little while later you stepped out of the room with a smile still on your face when you looked up and suddenly felt a crushing feeling in your chest. Negan was coming out of a room with two of his wives laughing. Of course you knew he had wives but after having touched him and slept with him, the thought of another woman with him made you burn with anger.

"Some business you got going huh?" The smile immediately left Negans face as he looked up at you before him.

"Blade, darling-"

"Dont 'Blade darling' me, what the hell I was thinking?" Angrily you walked off back to your room leaving the two women confused as Negan sighed. Following you to your room he entered right behind you slamming the door shut behind him.

"What the hell is your problem with me?"

"What is my problem? Taking care of business huh? Business with those girls?"

Negan frowned with a puzzled expression.

"Pardon my french, sweetheart but wait a fucking minute, are you jealous?"

"No! I'm not jealous," you denied the truth as you turned your back to him.

"I just dont like sharing what's mine."

Negan raised his brows surprised with your response.

"So I'm yours now huh?"

You scoffed at him turning to walk passed him before he blocked your way.

"Hang on now, Blade. I actually kinda like the sound of that. So does that make you mine now too?"

"No, why would I want to be yours when you have all those women, "you spoke in disgust before raising your brow as if you has just come up with an idea.

"Well since you get to have your fair share, then I should too. Simon looks-"

"Oh I'd be very careful where you're going with that, sweetheart." His expression turning very serious as he stepped closer to you.

"Why cant I have my own fun, it's not like I'm one of your wives who have to abide by your selfish rules while you do as you please." None of the women Negan had met had the nerve to argue his way of being.

"I dont want you to be one of them," he shot back.

"Good, cause I didnt want to anyways."

"You know what the fuck I want?" Negans voice rose as he took a step closer to you.

"I just want you to be mine and shit, I'll be yours the way you want me to." Negans words catching you completely off guard, so unexpected it left you speechless. There was something Negan couldnt explain that pulled him to you in a way he had never felt with any of the other women. Negan may not have been a one woman man most of his life but when someone caught his eye, it was hard for him to look past it.

"You dont even know me," you muttered.

"Shit, you dont even know me all that well but I know you have the same damn feeling I have." The two of you looked at each other in silence, you couldnt deny the connection you felt with him.

"You dont want the wives? Hell, they dont have to be there but-" he unexpectedly pulled you close to him aggresivly.

"I expect there to be no one else on your side either."

"I'm not looking for anyone else," your response was quick and spoken with confidence.

"Good," a smile slowly spread across his lips as you felt his hand slide down your back and grab your ass.

"You're lucky I like you," you squinted your eyes up at him making him laugh.

"Shit, well I am honored, doll."

"Dont patronize me," you scowled at him.

"Not at all, Blade, not at all."

Negan leaned in and took your lips with his feeling content with the thought of you being the only woman for him.

[shxllxfx]

Family pt 1 || Daryl Dixon

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Summary: Y/N and her little brother meet Daryl and Rick.

Warnings: none except for language? English is not my mothertounge

A/N: if you wanna be added to my taglist just let me know ;*

Taglist: @browngirldominion​  

"Ty I need you to climb up there and be super duper quiet, can you do that for me?" The y/h/c haired boy in front of you gave you a small nod. You looked around quickly, checking again for any walkers near you. Lifting him up you made sure that he was high enough. High enough to be out of sight of any walkers or people. You couldn't risk him getting seen. "Okay, Ty. Stay there. If anything happens, you yell for me, alright? Other than that stay up there and be quiet." Again he nodded. You gave him a small grin, before heading off. Quietly you made your way through the trees, putting one foot before the other, your bow and arrow raised high, when you heard a noise. A deer. It couldnt be too far away. Slowly you followed the prints on the ground, the bow in your arm ready. Never have you been happier that your dad was obsessed with the end of the world. He taught you everything. You were standing behind a tree and walked around it. There she was standing in the middle of a clearing eating grass. You pointed your bow and arrow at the deer, pulling the string back. Deep breath in and...

"Sophia!" The deer looked up and ran away. "Son of a bitch!" You muttered and tried to shoot your arrow to still hit the deer but it was gone. Rustling behind you made you turn and face two men. "Idiots! 'Cause of you my dinner ran!" One men was wearing a sherrifs uniform, the other one a plain tank top and some pants. They looked at you with surprise, your bow and arrow pointed at them. "Maybe try an' hold tha bow righ' for a start." The one in the tank said and you raised an eyebrow. He had a crossbow, easier than bow and arrow so what's he to judge? "Shut up, dumbass. You have to be nuts to sream some name through the whole forest. Tryna get yourselfs killed?" You lowered you bow and looked at them through squinted eyes. Turning on your heel you tried to make your way back to Tyler. "You all alone out here?" You looked at the sheriff over your shoulder. "Nah, cant you see, sheriff? Got plenty of company."

He followed you. Weirdly enough it didnt make you feel uneasy. At no point either one of them raised their weapons against you. "You gonna buy me dinner now, or why you following me, huh?" He laughed. "No. I'd like to ask you somethin'" You stopped, looked up the tree and to Tyler. "Its okay, you can come down." Both of them looked up. "So what did you want to ask?" You eyes were still on Tyler, making sure he doesnt fall down the tree. He was a good climber, always has been since the day he started to walk. When he jumped from the last branch you catched him. "You seen a little girl?" The one with the crossbow looked at you, eyebrow raised. You sat Tyler on the ground, kneeled down and got a bottle of water out of your backpack. You shook your head as you handed it to your brother. "Cant say I have." Tyler gave you the bottle back and smiled at you. "Have you got one? I am hungry." Shaking your head you searched in you backpack. "Sorry, buddy. Couldnt get a deer. But you want that?" You held out a granola bar. He nodded and took it with a smile. "Just the two of you, huh?" You looked at the sheriff. Giving him a small nod you put your backpack on again. "I am Rick. That's Daryl. You are?" Tyler raised his arms at you and yawned. He was tired. You were too, you hadnt slept in days. Lifting him up he clung to your front like a koala. "Y/N. An' the little koala bear is Tyler." Daryl looked at you. "Dangerous to be out on ya own." You nodded. "Well what am I suppos'd to do? Get me sum walkers as company?" Tyler put his head in the crook of your neck. At least someone can sleep. "You ain't got a group?"

"Doesnt look like it. Only the two of us at this point." Daryl and Rick looked at each other till Daryl nodded. "You could join us. We're a big group. Something like 10 people or so. Got other kids there as well. My sons one of them." You were surprised. Not only that they asked you to join but also that they were that many people left and near you. "I...I dont wanna cause any trouble." Daryl shook his head. "Cant leave you outta here with a kid. You a kid yourself." Your mouth opened and closed again. He was right. Atleast about Ty, you couldnt stay in the forest with a five year old. Not on your own.

You followed them back to the highway, Tyler still clung to your front. It wasn't a long walk, about 5 miles maybe, but having a 5 year old that weighs 18 kilograms on your front and a backpack on your back made things more difficult. You stopped next to a tree, trying to catch your breath. "You a'right?" Darly asked and you looked at him. "Having 'bout 25 kilograms to your torso and walking a steady pace is a bit difficult. Specially cause he feels 2 times heavier when he's sleepin'" He tilted his head. Rick stepped forward and put his arms toward you. "I'll take him for the last couple miles." You nodded and let him take Tyler from you. He immediately clung to Rick and you laughed. "Like I said he's a little koala." You took your bow off your shoulder and one of the arrows out of the side of your backpack, putting it to the string. Rick started to walk in front of you and you followed. "Need ta keep ya elbow lower, makes your shot cleaner." Darly muttered beside you and you side eyed him, lowering you elbow slightly. "Who taught you?" He asked and you turned your head to him. "My dad."

"Did you find her?" A woman with short, grey hair ran towards you, looking at Darly with big eyes. Rick put Tyler on the ground and he walked to you, hiding behind your leg. Daryl shook his head and the woman started sobbing and another one with long brown hair stroked her back. "We will find her tomorrow." Then she looked at you. "Who's that?" You smiled at her. "Hi. I am Y/N, that's my little brother Tyler." Everyone was looking at you now. She smiled but looked st Rick. "Couldn't leave her out in the woods alone with that kid." He shrugged and she looked at you again. "I'm Lori. How old are you?" Daryl was talking to the gray haired woman and Rick to an older man. "He's....he's five. I am nineteen." She introduced you to everyone else. They were nice and welcoming, gave you food and told you about themselves. You sat by the fire, knees pulled to your chest when Rick sat next to you, Daryl standing behind him. "How you feeling?" You stretched out your legs and looked at him. "Havent been around this many people in months. I have food, water, a fire right infront of me and I dont have to look around every second to make sure there ain't one of this things, so pretty good i guess?" You smile and he nods. "I have to ask you some questions, is that alright?" Now you nodded. "You have family except for Tyler?" You took a deep breath. "Another brother and my fathers somewhere out there, but they not together. My father left once all this shit started and Jack is 15 years old and somewhere out there, I lost them." Rick nodded. "Wait, them?" Daryl asked and you looked up. "Yeah. After my father left we...we were 4. Jack, Ty, my ex-boyfriend and me. Ty and I lost them when a group of walkers chased us." Rick put a hand on your shoulder and smiled. "Is Jack dead?" Shocked you turned to Tyler who was sitting next to you. "No, Ty. You know Jack. He's strong, he'll be fine." Tyler gave you a small smile and leaned into you. "I'll go and help Shane look out." Rick got up and left you alone with Daryl and Tyler. "Do you think we will see him again?" Ty muttered and you took a deep breath. "Hey, ya kno' what? My brothers out there too an' ya kno' what they'll be a'right." Tyler looked at him. "Do you think?" Daryl nodded and looked at you. You kissed Tyler's head and ruffled it softly. "Thank you, Daryl."

[ssamie]

two. sea of strangers

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry

gen masterlist.            “snow” masterlist.

"its really hitting me now!" reki exclaimed as he dramatically draped his arms around her frame "you're really leaving?!" he exclaimed as he eyed her countless luggage with distaste. 

"yes reki.. im sorry" she said as she held him tightly by the waist, keeping him upright as he slouches against her torso 

"man, you're really embarrassing" miya muttered out with a sniffle as he attempted to poke fun at reki. "crying and all.." he muttered as, he too, tried to contain his tears. 

"you're one to talk! you're gonna go all red if you hold your tears in!" reki exclaimed as he ruffled miya's hair through his hoodie 

miya grumbled but finally succumbed and fully latched himself onto her back, clinging desperately as he hides his face into her hair "if you leave you're gonna be demoted from heroine to slime" he meekly threatened as he weakly punches her shoulder 

"hm, then we won't be on the same level anymore.." she muttered back as she placed her hand on his head to comfort him 

"exactly.. so you shouldn't leave." miya huffed out 

"sorry miya.. but i have to" she frowned and met eyes with her mom, who simply gave her a reassuring smile in return. 

"there's really nothing we can do but hope for a safe trip" cherry chimed in as he plucked miya and reki off of her "it will be quite a loss but, she won't be gone forever" he said. 

"yeah, but behave out there, rookie" joe mused as he slung his muscular arm around her, making her stagger a bit "dont want ya getting into accidents and shit" joe laughed as he ruffled her hair with a soft smile 

"yeah, we'll visit you after you've settled" shadow said as he jogged over to them, just having finished helping nanako carry her bags 

"hey.." he whispered to joe as he nodded towards reki. joe immediately understood and pushed her towards the redhead. "well go on then, have one last hug with your dearest best friend" joe mused "maybe a kiss as well" 

y/n huffed as she covered her warm cheeks and sheepishly walked towards reki. "um.." she mumbled out, suddenly finding the words get caught up in her throat. "the plane boards in five minutes.." she said 

"i know" reki replied with a sad smile. "what should we do for those remaining minutes? i really don't know anymore" he chuckled 

"um.. what about.." she trailed off as her hands hesitantly met his. "..this?" 

reki blinked and immediately followed along. a smile slowly crept up on his lips as they do their signature handshake. she gulped as the heat on her face worsened by the second. by the time their hands would meet to make an infinity sign, she was fully ready to drop it and leave. 

though unexpectedly, reki pulled her to his chest and squeezed her tight, holding her by her waist with one arm, while the other reaches out to caress her hair. 

"bye, y/n." reki whispered, his lips dangerously close to her ears, making her already flustered state worsen. 

"i'll make sure to see you again. don't find a new partner while you're gone, alright?" he whispered 

though his tone was laced with slight doubt and desperation. she held her hand over her beating chest and nodded. 

"i'll never find someone like you, reki." she said with a tone of sincerity. "let alone someone better." she whispered with a love filled smile. 

reki smiled back and fully engulfed her in a bear hug, swaying their bodies back and forth as he dug his face into her neck 

she gulped and slyly covered her cheeks with her hands. she was most certainly in the verge of overheating from too much joy that had her heart pounding and her palms sweating. 

"oi, oi! don't leave us out!" joe chimed in with a laugh as he slung his arms around them both. "yeah, stop hogging her you slime!" miya hissed at reki as he greedily wrapped his arms around her waist

"hey, i'm the best friend! you're the slime in the situation!" reki hissed back 

soon enough, y/n was getting suffocated under five men who thought it was a great idea to stack themselves on top of her. "can't.. breathe.." she squeaked out as she tried to gasp for air

nanako watched their exchange with a smile of amusement. though they had to move along as to not miss the flight. "y/n, its time to go" nanako said with a smile as she grabbed her daughters hand. she waved at the boys one last time and walked away, with y/n beside her. 

"BYE Y/N, REMEBER OUR PROMISE!" 

"BYE REKI! I WILL!" 

"stop screaming at the airport!" cherry smacked reki's head with a scolding glare 

"ouch! sorry, geez!" 

"ah, the air here in miyagi is very different, huh?" nanako hummed as she looked around the empty streets surrounded by trees and bushes

"i guess so." y/n replied with a nod as she walked past her mother and entered the empty home.

the huge truck filled with their furniture and belongings was parked by their new home, with the men carrying them inside. nanako frowned and followed her inside. y/n simply walked quietly to her new room which was situated upstairs. 

as she arrived, she scanned the room, eyeing the bed on the corner and an empty closet on the other side. "hm." she hummed as she further inspected the place 

nanako watched in anticipation as dread and nervousness filled her nerves. "d-do you like it, sweetie?" she asked, her voice lightly shaking. 

"its okay." y/n replied as she dropped her bags on the floor. 

nanako sighed in relief and patted her on the back. "the movers are gonna help me fix this place up, so why don't you look around the neighbourhood for a bit?" she suggested 

"i might get lost" y/n said. nanako shook her head and handed her her skateboard "no you won't, it's a pretty small town!" she said "and if you do get lost, just call me or ask around, okay?" nanako mused as she urged the girl downstairs and out the door 

"but mom-" y/n couldn't finish, seeing as nanako had slammed the door and was waving her goodbye through the windows

"bye~ have fun~" nanako mused as she waved 

y/n looked back at her with a deadpanned expression and sighed. she got on her board and skated along the smooth concrete, looking past the fairly big houses and few cars driving by. 

"hey hey iwa-chan~ i came to pick you up for practice like the good best friend that i am!" a distant voice cooed out

"shut up shittykawa, it's seven am. you're giving me a headache." another voice, this time more gruff and annoyed, said. 

y/n hummed in curiosity and looked ahead of her. they were quite far, but their loud arguing could be heard a block away, so she didn't have that much trouble. "a ball?" she muttered to herself as she looked at the ball tucked in between the brunette's arms

"weird.." she mumbled before speeding up, not wanting them to see or interact with her in the slightest. 

"hm? are there new neighbours?" the brunette asked. "obviously dumbass. they moved in just a while ago i think." the other replied 

"ooh~ i wonder if there's a cute girl that-" oikawa cut himself off as he felt a gush of wind fly past him

he curiosly turned around, but was only met with a quick dash of something blue. "what is it?" iwaizumi asked him, confused as to why his friend suddenly stopped in his tracks for apparently no reason at all. 

"did you see that, iwa-chan?" oikawa asked him as he pointed to the next block, trying to show him the person, but all that was visible was them turning the corner and disappearing from their sight. 

"there's nothing there." iwaizumi said with an unamused glare "are you messing with me, shittykawa? it's so early in the morning please give me a break" he sighed 

"no i'm serious! there was someone there! i saw something blue!" oikawa defended with a shriek 

"shut up.." iwaizumi grumbled in exasperation 

suddenly, oikawa gasped and excitedly hit his arm. "do you think it could be aliens?" he whispered with narrowed eyes, while iwaizumi simply stared back at him in distaste. 

"shut up!" 

"school already?" she asked with a look of dread as she listened to her mother talk about her schedule as they sit on the dining table. 

"but its hard to make friends.." y/n grumbled out with a grunt 

"yes, sweetie! we have to get you settled in as soon as possible so you'll be more comfortable" nanako explained "plus you can make friends with kids there so you won't be alone all the time, don't you want that?" she asked 

"you and reki became friends pretty quickly, didn't you?" nanako mused "so i'm sure you'll be fine!" 

"reki.." she mumbled out as she stared down at her food with a sad frown, a gloomy aura suddenly surrounding her as she silently sulks. 

"ah crap, maybe i shouldn't have mentioned him" nanako muttered to herself, starting to sweat bullets as she tried to rack her brain for what to do. "a-ahm well!" nanako cleared her throat and shot y/n a shaky grin. "you're a very pretty girl! im sure people will be the first ones to approach you!" she said 

"so you won't really have to do any of the work" nanako reassured her "they're normally very interested in transferees especially since you're foreign." 

"okay then.." she muttered out, though she was still unsure. "im gonna clean up now" she said as she stood up from her seat and made her way to the bathroom 

"sure, but wake up early tomorrow okay? i'll help you get ready!" nanako called out, only to receive a faint 'okay!' in response. 

once she heard the bathroom door close and the water start running, she let out a huge breath of relief and slouched back on her chair. "AGH! i accidentally made her sad!" nanako exclaimed as she pulled don her hair in distress 

"should i call reki? her friends? what do i do?!" she shrieked out. she then looked over to the photo of her husband and sulked 

"help me oliver!!" 

"okay, hasegawa y/n-san, you're in third year class 6" the assistant told her with a kind smile "its on the third floor and the room by the stairway. it should be easy enough to find." he said "unless you want me to guide you?" 

"no, i think im okay." she declined with a quick bow "thank you though." 

"come in!" a voice called out from inside 

she kept her face straight and as she followed the directions, up until she reached the classroom she was assigned. "3-6" she read the sign. she then knocked on the door and waited patiently for the teacher to let her enter. 

she followed and slid the door open, closing it behind her and walking to the front of the class, all while keeping her eyes trained on the floor. 

"is she american?" "dang, she's pretty!" "i hope she sits with me.." "what's with her hair?" "as long as she doesn't steal oikawa-senpai, im fine with her" 

she could hear all of their murmurs, though she simply chose to ignore it, not wanting to interact with them as much as possible. she gripped the strap of her bag and raised her head to face them, keeping the monotonous expression as she side eyed the teacher for permission to speak. 

he then nodded and urged her to go. "mind telling us about yourself?" he asked 

"my name is hasegawa y/n." she said, keeping her eyes straight ahead and briefly scanning a few students 

oikawa and iwaizumi looked up and watched her in curiosity. they were seated at the very back, watching her every move. iwaizumi wasn't super interested, only a bit curious about their foreign transferee. although oikawa is overflowing with both interest and curiosity. not only was he happy to have a cute girl as a new classmate, but he was quite sure he had seen her from somewhere before. 

"..." the class was silent as they waited for her to say more, though was only met with nothing. 

"that's it?" the teacher asked, slyly urging her to say more 

y/n looked over to him and back at the class. "i came from canada and moved to okinawa to here.." she said 

"... anything else?" the teacher swetadropped. she then furrowed her brows and asked, "why? is it bad?" 

"no, you're good." the teacher responded as he waved his hand dismissively. 

oikawa chuckled in amusement, making iwaizumi look over to him with a raised brow. "what?" iwaizumi asked 

"nothing, she's just funny" oikawa replied with a grin 

"alright, you can sit in between rika and iwaizumi, seeing as it's the only vacant seat left." the teacher said 

y/n nodded and scanned the room, looking for the people he had mentioned. she merely blinked as a girl with long black hair, which she assumed was rika, excitedly waved at her. 

"hasegawa-chan! come sit with me!" rika exclaimed with a smile. y/n followed and squeezed through the rays of desks, sighing once she sat down on her assigned desk. 

"..." she gulped and nervously pulled out a book and turned her head down, feeling multiple eyes bore through her. 

but by far, the most eerie and intense stare she had received was from rika, who was not so discreetly peering at her over her book, watching with sparkling eyes as she stared. 

"hi-" y/n couldn't even finish her sentence as rika excitedly perked up and shook her hands. "hi! I'm orimoto rika! you can call me rika though" she whisper shouted with a grin 

y/n blinked in surprise and gave her a wobbly grin, "hi, rika-san.." she muttered "um, you can call me y/n if you want.." 

"okay, y/n-chan!" she replied with a gleeful grin "hey, wanna join me for lunch later? it must suck to eat lunch without anyone. you can join me and-" 

the teacher abruptly cleared his throat and shot rika a pointed look. "orimoto-san, i know you're excited but please save the talking for later" he said. "right! sorry sensei!" rika laughed sheepishly as she retreated back to her desk 

y/n side eyed her one last time before looking back down at her desk, bringing out a pencil and messily sketching on the paper 

"hey" the boy beside her whispered 

she glanced at him and blinked in confusion. "im iwaizumi, nice to meet you." he said with a curt nod of acknowledgement

she didn't immediately respond but quietly inspected him "nice to meet you.. iwaizumi-san" she said. she smiled to herself as iwaizumi nodded once again and simply went back to minding his business. 

iwaizumi was chill. nice. 

she had mentally agreed with herself that she did in fact like iwaizumi. he was very different from reki's overall 'vibe' but it was comforting in a way. 

now.. the boy beside him.. she still wasn't sure if she should just ignore his overwhelming presence or give him a fake smile to satisfy him. 

"yahoo~ y/n-chan~" oikawa cooed with a flirty wave "hey~ im oikawa tooru" he introduced with a smile as he leaned over iwaizumi's desk to get closer to her and wave once again 

"..." she side eyed him and quietly nodded, opting not to respond as she slouched down to hide her face behind the book she was doodling on

beside her rika spluttered and watched with wide eyes as the girl blatantly ignored the oikawa tooru, himself. it seems not only rika had seen the interaction, or the lack of it, more so. 

the girls near her either gasped in genuine surprise or sighed in relief, having found that the new girl was in fact not a threat. 

iwaizumi, however, was simply snickering and trying to contain his laughter as oikawa stares blankly at her with his face as pale as a ghost. 

it seems everyone was enjoying themselves. she sighed and simply rested her head on her desk, wanting nothing more than for class to be over. 

"hey, eat with me later, okay y/n-chan?" rika said with a smile 

y/n looked up at her and simply nodded, blowing the stray strands of hair away from her face as she stares at the ticking clock on their wall. "i wonder what reki's doing.." she mumbled to herself 

she sighed and sat up straight, keeping her eyes on the teacher who was mindlessly continuing his lecture. 

under her breath she mumbled, 

"i wanna go home." 

i added a random 'oc' but i used rika from jjk's name lol. there's gonna be two more i think, but they're not that important lol, just some filler characters ig 

sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes :<

[b1ksh88p]

Be Mine Chapter 3

Plot: A storm is brewing in Valentine, and you’re in the middle of it. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen Harry and there’s already been a horrendous murder. With tensions high and everyone finger pointing your ex, Edmund, makes everything worse by spreading gossip. With the sting of rejection still weighing heavy on your heart you attempt to clear everything up only to make things worse.

Describing your mood as sour would be a understatement. You were numb. A grey cloud loomed over your usual cheery exterior as you went through day to day activities. Whenever someone asked if you were alright you’d chalk it up to trivial excuses. When in actuality you were torn that you’d been stupid enough to try and have a picnic with a killer. If you were sane maybe you’d tell the Sheriff and get some of his boys in uniform to smoke Harry out somehow but you had no taste for revenge. All you wanted was to move on.

But it seemed your ex had other plans. You worked in the diner, usually taking up the night shifts to rid yourself of boredom. As you were cleaning a table you overheard a couple chatting away about you of all topics. Why your name was in their mouths you didn’t know but from what you got out of it made you want to raise hellfire.

“I heard she goes down there every night to see that killer.”

“Edmund said that the sherif saw her go in with food and came out empty handed.”

“No way, maybe she’s a killer.”

There’s no way you could allow these two peons spread such outlandish babble. You’ve never killed anyone nor would you ever. The thought of murdering another made you sick to your stomach. “Edmund is a long-nosed good for nothing asshole who spends his time making up calumniations and dumping his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day for a dumb blonde with a baby voice. You two and the rest of your bubble headed friends would be fools to believe anything that comes out his mouth.” You finish with a astute turn into the back for a extensive smoke break.

If you saw Edmund or that sleazy sheriff you’d be sure to give them a piece of your mind. And speak of the devil, there he was. Your blood was replaced with boiling water as you stomped your way towards him. He was with the sherif and some other random cop you didn’t know. Both of them saw you coming and started to drift apart before you whistle and jogged towards the two snakes.

“Where we going boys? Running away from the new killer of the town?”

“Now listen Y/N I didn’t mean to start anything.” The sheriff assured.

You weren’t impressed. “You’re just the last one seen in the mines so...it makes sense.” Edmund shrugged.

“And you were the last one fucking the blonde bimbo you cheated on me with and she has crabs....so it makes sense right?” You snap back garnering a chortle from the other cop.

“It’s not my fault you’re a boring bitch who can’t get anyone to date you except for some psycho?!” He growled.

“I’m not dating anyone and I’m not a killer. Instead of gossiping like little girls how about you three go investigate and find the real killer.” You throw down the cigarette and stomp it out beneath your heel.

“We apologize if we’ve caused you any trouble Miss, we’re doing the best we can.” The Sheriff whispered.

“Keep my name out your ass licking mouths and out the fucking paper.” You demand before walking back inside the diner.

After your shift you began to walk home. The ominous glow of streetlights did little to scare you. On your way to you lovely home you stopped by the liquor store. A bit tipsy you ventured the winding fucked up roads. The quiet sounds of the night were ruined by the sounds of sirens. It had been what? 72 hours and some change since the last murder what the hell could the coppers be speeding for? Even in your mildly drunken stupor you noticed where they were heading. The mines. Sober you would’ve kept walking like any sane person but you were running on anger, worry, and rum. A mix that didn’t bode well when making good decisions.

You knew a shortcut through the trees and made haste. By the time you fought through flora and fauna two cars were already there. The sheriff and Edmund were there holding lanterns and guns. You step out from behind the trees, face bathed in red and blue lights. Softly stepping towards the shit show. “What the fuck are you two asswipes doing?!” You call out as you make your way to the entrance of the mine. Before they can stop you you’re in front of the cold entrance.

“You protecting your boyfriend again?” Edmund spat as he loaded his gun.

“You don’t have a gotdamn clue who killed those two. It takes you dumb mother fuckers months to even get close to closing a case!”

“We know he’s down there Y/N and he’s gonna fucking burn for what he did. And if you gotta burn with him so fucking be it!” He aimed the gun at you which almost made you piss yourself. You stumble back as he aims it at you. The thumping of your heart beat in your ears.

“I’m not you enemy! And neither is he!” Your words were bold but hoarse.

“That son of a bitch killed family. I don’t care what you think he’s going to die, and if I have to shoot you to get to him I fucking will!” The sheriffs attempts to calm down Edmund were futile. He had his eyes on you. They were large and red and full of rage. He looked like a rabid animal and you his prey.

“...You’re angry I get that but this is a mob attack not a lawful pick up. You have no evidence-“

“DONT GIVE ME A FUCKING LESSON IN LAW BITCH I AM THE FUCKING LAW!” He shot at the ground beneath your feet sending dirt into your eyes. The muffled scolding from the sheriff did nothing to stop your beating heart. In fact there were bigger problems.

Another shot cracked through the night sending you to the ground covering your head. The grotesque sound of choking made you gag. The Sheriff was on the ground, clambering hands grabbing at the gaping hole in his chest as he bled out. Edmund was in shock. He held the man’s dead hand with wide eyes. Perfect time to get away. You book it into the mines. It was dark and cold, even chillier with a fresh murderer on your heels. At first you didn’t hear him but a shot echoed through the caves followed by some demands for you and Harry to reveal yourselves. That wasn’t happening so you keep running, ducking into random corridors to try and throw him off your trail.

Apart of you was afraid of running into Harry. What if he was angry at you? Running into one killer to escape the other was a chance you really didn’t want to take. You’d rather wait it out and hide. Hopefully Harry would take care of Edmund and you could run away without interacting with either of them. You stop running to hide in a old mining cart that was turned over. Covering your mouth with shaking hands you listen. A heavy set of footsteps past you, Edmund more than likely. It wasn’t like Harry to be so loud. He taunted what you assumed were the shadows to face him like a real man. He didn’t really see him right? You wish you could peek but you were far to afraid you’d get your head blown off.

“So that’s what you look like. Y’know it’s crazy. You don’t look like a monster.” He cocked the gun. “Tell me how you did it. How you killed my dad you fucking monster.” He demanded.

There was no response on Harry’s end. You hear something fall to the ground and then Edmund’s smug laughter. What the hell was going on? You quietly peak from out your hiding space. The minimal lighting made the scene hard to make out but by the looks of it Harry had...given up. He had thrown his pick axe ahead of him, taken off the mask, and dropped to his knees. A gloved hand on the barrel of the gun pointing it to his head. You couldn’t believe your eyes. Was he insane? Edmund goes into a end game spill about how long he’s waited to do this. How he’d pin the Sheriff’s and I’s murder on Harry and walk out the mines a hero. During this you start to crawl towards them, ready to rush him or throw a rock, anything to buy Harry time. Your chest is tight as you hold your breath. Nearing the both of them as quietly as you possibly can. Edmund cocks the gun and says something to the effect of “everyone dies, somebody should’ve take your sorry ass out long ago.” Before you hear a shot.

It hits the ceiling once you use all your might to swing Harry’s pickaxe into Edmund’s head, through his cheek. The blast was so close to Harry he fell back in pain. Edmund leans on the wall holding the left side of his face, still turned away from you. When he does look at you all the blood drains from your body. His tongue hung from the broken jaw like a salivating dog, torn flesh dangled around missing teeth, with so much flesh exposed blood spritzed out every time he moved closer to you. He couldn’t move his jaw so when he spoke it was a gurgled cacophony of rage and disbelief. You lift the pick axe once more but see him lift the shotgun and take aim. This makes you freeze like a deer in headlights. You close your eyes, bracing for impact. But to your surprise it never comes. Instead Harry had gotten up and tackled him, only problem was that he got shot.

The two men fell to the ground. Edmund kicking him off and frantically reaching into his pocket for two more shells. Without thinking you kick the gun from his hands. He tried to get up but you stomp on his chest with all the rage bottled up inside. He looks up at you with that mangled face and large eyes but mercy was the last thing on your mind. You look over him, raise the crude weapon, and allow the cold metal to pierce through his chest. You let out a exasperated scream as you continue your onslaught. Hammering down years of neglect, wasted time, slander, and abuse into what’s left of his broken body. When you’re done he’s left torn apart. Rib cage broken and organs exposed. In all the madness you vomit from the stress and overall exertion of energy you used up. The groans from Harry snap you back to reality and you go to aid him.

“Oh god oh shit hold on hold on.” You ramble. Your hands try their best to cover the wound. He was shot in the side. Luckily it wasn’t a direct hit but without medical attention it was gonna get nasty. You use Edmund’s jacket to help stop the bleeding. He was just staring at you. “What? What the hell are you gonna yell at me for now???” You yell trying not to cry. He lifts a bloody hand to your face.

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z

[flashbackharry]

Quarantine

Prompt 51 and 52:

51. “Are you still awake…?”

52. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

Thank you @woopboopboop for requesting, I’m sorry its so late :(

You can request a prompt from this list:

Masterlist:

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you didn’t take quarantine as seriously in the beginning as you should have. You begged Harry to take you to museums and the beach and he obliged of course, only wanting to make you happy. It wasn't until the death tolls started climbing day by day, and in England where you were currently staying with Harry and his family, it was even worse. Now you turned somewhat into a hypochondriac, making Harry wash his hands after he’d come back from a run, to which Harry responded,

“I didn’t touch anything love.” Still, he washed his hands after seeing you start to bite your lower lip in anxiety.

Staying with Anne, Gemma, and her fiance in Harry's childhood home was nice. It was in a secluded area surrounded by trees but not so far making a walk to the nearest cafe only about 20 minutes. Not that that mattered, everything was closed up due to concerns surrounding the virus.

You tried giving yourself somewhat of a routine. You tried not sleeping past 8am, although when you woke up, Harry was just coming back from his run. He suggested you run with him in the mornings to which you smiled and simply said,

“I don’t run”.

You did however take up cooking and cooked breakfast for everyone most mornings, usually before Anne beat you to it. This particular morning when Harry came back from his run, his headphones hanging from his neck, his shirt was lightly covered in sweat, his hair a roused mess atop his head. He walked over to where you were cutting up onions and bell peppers at the kitchen counter for the scrambled eggs you were making. He kissed your temple and asked

“So, what's on the agenda for today?”

“Mhmm, maybe some poetry at two? Gardening at 5, maybe a stroll around the neighborhood at dusk?” You said teasingly although all sounded very appeasing.

Harry leaned against the counter and chuckled, eating some of the fruit you had cut up earlier.

“Sounds lovely, did you just come up with that yourself?” He asked, getting up from against the counter and hugging you from behind, peppering kisses to your neck as you giggled.

“Very cute guys, but please, I just woke up.” Gemma said from the doorway, walking over and taking a seat on a stool where the island was.

“Oh shush, you and Michal were very PDA-ey when you first got together.”Harry retaliated.

“Yes we were, then we had the sense to stop.”Gemma said, blowing a kiss over to you and winking.

“Yeah well, I will never hide my love for this one.” Harry said, kissing your shoulder. You pushed him away, your cheeks reddening a little.

“I love you, but please go shower bub.” You said pinching his cheek.

Harry removed his hand from your lower back and with a little protesting, he walked out of the kitchen, not of course without ruffling Gemma's hair on his way out.

Michal came down shortly after Harry disappeared and took a seat next to Gemma.

“Morning sleepy head.” She said as he planted a kiss to her head.

You loved watching them interact, as much as she teased you and Harry, she was the same as you guys. Unabashedly in love with their significant other.

“Something smells good.” Michal said smiling over to you.

“Breakfast is served.” You said, handing them their plates of scrambled eggs with a side of toast.

“Where would we be without you?” Gemma asked with such conviction you couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. Then she smiled and you returned it.

“Not as good as your mums but at least it's edible right?” You said right when Anne walked in, and you started blushing again.

“None of that darling, there was a period they hated my cooking if you can believe it.” She said giving you a kiss on the cheek before also sitting down. You smiled again. Pouring her a cup of coffee. You couldn’t help being nervous around your boyfriend's mom, even after all these years, but just like Harry, she always proved you had nothing to be nervous about.

“Yeah cause you started experimenting with that vegan shit mum.” Gemma said and Anne laughed out loud.

“Language Gem.” Was all she said, before sneaking you a wink.

Harry came down moments later, sporting his attire for the day, his hair damp from the water. He actually did dress up everyday, unlike you who sported a new one of his jumpers every few days or so.

“It makes a difference, really.” He told you one day while he was getting dressed, he glanced at you on the bed through the mirror he was facing.

“You just wanna show everyone your impeccable taste in fashion.” You said, teasing him. You watched as he laughed and poked his tongue out at you.

“Morning mum.” He said, walking over to Anne wrapping his arms around her while she sat holding her cup of hot coffee.

Harry walked over to you and sat on your lap while he grabbed some of your food from your plate. Smiling with his mouth full.

“Going grocery shopping today, any last requests?” Anne said. You peered over from Harry's lanky torso, towards Anne.

“Some more greek yoghurt please, someone keeps eating it despite saying how gross it is everytime.” You said, pinching Harry's side lightly.

“Ow!” Harry yelped.

“Can Michal and I just go with you mum? I never know what I want until I’m actually there.” She said, getting up from her seat and grabbing her and Michals plate and bringing it over to the sink.

“Yeah sure, I’m leaving in about 10 so hurry up.” She said, also getting up and walking out of the kitchen.

Gemma walked over to you and lifted your chin with one of her hands,

“Thanks for breakfast darling.” before walking out with Michal.

“I think that means we have the house to ourselves for about an hour.” Harry said, getting up from your lap. You let out a breath of air you didn't know you were holding in.

You took the remaining plates off the island and brought them over to the sink. Harry rinsed them after you went over them with a soapy sponge.

“Can I give you a haircut?” You asked.

“Absolutely not.” Harry said almost instantly.

“Why not?” You whined, frowning a bit.

“Because I dont wanna have to go bald trying to cover up the inevitable mistake you're going to make, besides, I think I might grow it out again, God knows how long we're gonna be stuck here for.” Harry said.

“Rude.” You responded, taking your hands out of the soapy water and instead running them through his unruly curls. Harry yelped again and splashed warm water from the sink at you. The fight ended with both of you slightly soaked and giggling.

When the rest of them got back from the grocery store, you helped put away all the groceries and the rest of your day was spent doing relatively nothing. You sat in the living room and watched way too many episodes of Seinfeld, you and Harry tried cooking some new recipe from a cookbook you had laying around and when that didn't end up going very well, you had to order a pizza. Harry had a few meetings later in the night over facetime so he was upstairs in the study doing that.

It was around 1am when you started feeling tired, so you headed into the bathroom and started getting ready for bed. The hot water felt nice against your skin.

When you finally got out of the bathroom and walked into the bedroom, everyone else's doors were closed, no doubt already asleep by now. You hadn't noticed how long you were in the shower until you glanced at the clock. It was nearly 2:30.

Yet Harry was nowhere to be found. You figured he was still on facetime with Jeff so you decided to go to sleep anyway.

***

It was nearly 4 when you felt a finger poking your side.

“Are you still awake?” Harry's deep voice filled your ears.

You opened your eyes and looked at his head looming over you above the covers. You closed your eyes again hoping he’d get the hint that you wanted to go back to sleep.

“I'm not gonna stop poking you until you give me attention.” He said, laying his head on the pillow and staring at the ceiling. You sighed and faced him.

“Whats up Harry?” You said, grabbing his hand under the covers.

“I can’t sleep.” He said, meeting your eyes.

“Wanna have sex?” You said smiling, half joking half not.

Harry chuckled softly, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and he spoke again,

“Wanna come watch the sunrise with me?” He said, lifting his hand to move a piece of hair from your face. You glanced at the clock, you did have about an hour and a half until the sun would be up again.

You smiled at him and nodded your head.

You both got ready quietly. You put one of his jumpers on again and a pair of joggers before heading downstairs to find your slippers. Harry met you at the bottom of the stairs, he already had his shoes on. Once you found your slippers Harry opened the front door quietly, locking it behind you. He took your hand in his as you both walked down the driveway.

The ground was damp as it had rained a little earlier yesterday afternoon. A thin layer of dew covered the grass and you instantly regretted wearing slippers because you knew they were going to be soaked. It was eerily quiet and peaceful, that period of time in the morning where you could hear the birds beginning to chirp but if you listened hard enough, you could hear a few lingering crickets.

You walked the quiet rural streets, the houses here were far apart from each other, seeing nothing but rolling green hills for what felt like forever before seeing another house.  You found a bench after walking for 30 minutes or so. Harry sat down, pulling you into his lap. You rested your head against his. The sun barely peeking over the horizon.

“How was your call with Jeff and the others?”

Harry sighed, wrapping his arms tighter around your torso.

“It was okay. He asked if I wanted to fly back to L.A before this stuff gets worse, quarantine there.”

You tired not feeling a little sad before asking,

“And are you?”

“Politely told him no. It's not often I get an opportunity to spend long periods of time doing nothing with my family and you. Told him if he really needed me in person I’d come but if I can do my job here, at home, that I would appreciate that.” Harry finished.

You didn't say anything back right away, instead started peppering kisses into his neck, you whispered “I love you” into his ear and Harry's lips met yours. He kissed you slowly, the sun now illuminating the entire sky. He whispered “I love you more” into your mouth.

You stayed sat on the bench well after the sun had already risen. Not saying anything, playing with the many rings on his fingers. Harry pulled you up off his lap and took your hands guiding you back to the house.

Once your feet hit the ground you whispered a little “Oh.”, wincing a little.

“What's wrong?” Harry asked, worry lacing his features.

“My slippers are wet and it feels like when you have socks on and step in something wet.”

Harrys turned his nose up, cringing. He took your hand and lifted you up until your feet touched the bench and you stood there, towering over him. He turned around and hoisted you on his back. You smiled as he carried you back to his mum's house.

“And they say chivalry is dead” You said jokingly and Harry breathed a laugh.

[mudwingprince]

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 (here)

Disclaimer!:

two things

1. Please dont ship us, everything that happens in these are completely platonic :)

2. Everything thought or said about certain characters (*cough* isol) is not meant or actually thought, i love all of my friends dearly and would never say anything bad about them in a malicious manner

and onto the story we goooooo

tw: symptoms of clinical anxiety, illness (poison)

Even after a couple hours, the rain hadn’t subdued at all. My fur was wet. Gross. At least when we leave the tree there will be mud. I’ve always liked mud, that’s probably why my parents named me that. Where were my parents, anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever seen them before… Did my parents even name me themselves?

I stared out into the forest, the soft sound of rain pattering down on the leaves kept me calm, but alert. Isol could be out there, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. I flicked my tail. It was heavy due to the rain. I blinked. It was a while since I saw rain. It was kind of nice. I glanced at Radi0, making sure he was still there. Yep. Still sleeping. I put my claw to my forehead and brushed my fur tuft to the side. Still there. We’re safe. Why am I afraid? I shouldn’t be. As soon as Radi0 wakes up we’d leave. We need to get as far away from here as possible. I need to find a way to hide our scents. Radi0’s is most important. He was human. He would have the strongest scent. The rain would make it harder for Isol to find us though, and it will wash away our trail. But we were here for so long, there’s no way that the scent wouldn’t stay. I picked up a nearby stick and started scratching at the dirt. It was like that for a while, the harsh crackle from the on-going fire and the soft pitter-patter of the rain. I started poking at a rock, I just needed to wait.

It felt like hours despite only being a couple minutes before Radi0 stirred in his sleep. He pushed himself up with a small grunt, his normally spiky hair had deflated. He rubbed at his eyes and blinked. And then rubbed at his eyes again, tense.

“Did you forget we left?” I asked, my voice low as I kept poking the rock. He let out a nervous laugh.

“Kind of,” He muttered. A pause.

“I grabbed berries?” I said, pushing the berries towards him. He hesitantly took them.

“Are… they poisonous?” Radi0 asked.

“Oh yeah, I would definitely poison you,” I said jokingly, “It’s not like we just saved each other from our homicidal friend.” Radi0 blinked at me. “What? I tried them first, they’re safe. We haven’t eaten in a couple days, I could survive without food but you can’t, so I thought you might like them.” Radi0 looked at the berries suspiciously, as if they would magically grow legs and walk away. Then he carefully put one in his mouth.

“How… long has it been since we last ate?” Radi0 asked, handing a berry to me. I tossed it and caught it between my teeth.

“A couple days?” I replied, and then shrugged. “It's kind of hard to tell when we were in that other place.”

“We should probably give it a name…” Radi0 said, eating another berry. “‘That Other Place’ doesn’t really seem fitting, and it might get confusing, there’s no way we’re going back there any time soon and we’re probably not going to stay here, so there’s bound to be a lot more ‘other places.’”

“Yeah, I was hoping we could get moving soon, I don’t want Isol to find our trail,” I muttered, picking the stick up again and fidgeting with it. “Do you have any names in mind?”

“N-No…” He said. A pause. “Were you really scared by a leaf?”

“Oh my god,” I said, covering my face. “I thought it was a giant bug that landed on me! No one will leave me alone because of it!” I laughed and started ripping the bark off of the stick. “It was really embarrassing.” I looked out to the forest again, picking at the bark. Then I looked at Radi0. He was holding two berries, looking at them in a somewhat disgusted way.

“Are you going to eat those?” I asked, he blinked at me.

“Yeah,” he replied hesitantly. “Why? Do you want one?”

“It doesn’t matter to me, honestly, I just didn’t want them to go to waste,” I shrugged, and directed my gaze back out to the forest. A droplet of rain fell onto my nose and I shook my head.

“Did you get any more sleep?”

“Huh?” I asked, tilting my head.

“You said you had a nightmare,” Radi0 said, putting another berry in his mouth. It seemed forced.

“Oh, uh, I just… wasn’t tired,” I lied. “We should, uh, get going.” I pushed myself up, reaching my talon down to help Radi0 up. He grabbed my talon and I pulled him off of the ground. We started walking through the rain in the opposite direction that we came from. We walked in silence for a while. I made sure to step in every puddle that we found, while Radi0 trudged along, slightly behind me. It didn’t ease the growing worry that Isol was out there somewhere, trying to find us, trying to kill us. She was our friend. They were my friend. I placed a claw on my forehead again. I’m safe with this. We’re safe with this. I can’t let Radi0 get hurt. If he dies, that’s it. There’s no coming back for him, unlike me. I need to protect him. I’ll be fine if I die. I’ll always come back as long as I have the c-

“Are you okay?”

I blinked, confused, then I nodded. Of course I was fine. I couldn’t not be fine. I had to protect him, and if I wasn’t okay, I wouldn’t be able to.

“Yeah, why?”

“You seem worried,” Radi0 said. “Do you want to talk about anything?”

“Nah,” I replied, dragging my hand away from my face. “I’m always worried anyway.” That only seemed to get Radi0 even more concerned. Ah, here you go again, Mud, fucking things up like always. “I-It’s not a bad thing though, I just need to keep everything in check, it’s nothing!” Radi0 looked at me as if I had lost my mind. I sighed. “It’s fine, really. Sure it can be stressful at times, but I’ve done it my entire life and I’m used to it,” I smiled at Radi0, then actually looked at him. He was pale and he had heavy bags under his eyes, his normally proud stance was huddled over. His hair was still deflated from earlier and he was clutching his stomach tightly.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” I asked, putting a talon on his shoulder. He looked at me, and hesitated before shaking his head. “W-What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“I don’t really know…” He muttered, rubbing his temples, “I think I’m just tired…?” I blinked at him. This didn’t really look like ‘just tired,’ it looked like a lot more than that. He looked… ill…

“Uh, how bad do you feel though?” I asked, lifting my talon from his shoulder. He let out a small, hoarse laugh.

“R-Really bad,” Radi0 sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “I just want to sleep and forget about all of this…” I knew how it felt to want to sleep everything off. I want to forget about all of this. Forget about Isol, forget about running away, forget about dying again, forget about it all. A bright flash lit the sky followed by a loud crash. I jumped at the sudden strike of light and loud boom frantically looking around, just in case Isol was preparing to pounce at the distraction.

“Do you think that you could make it a little longer?” I asked. “Just until the rain dies down a little?” He blinked at me and thought about it for a second, then nodded. I gave him a small smile, trying to be comforting, but probably failing. He was just fine yesterday, how could he have caught something already? Did the stress really lower his immune system that much?

“Okay,” I said, flicking my heavy, rain drenched tail, “But if you feel anything different then say something, okay?” He nodded and we continued walking at a slower pace. The rain dripped through the leaves of the thick forest, falling onto our heads and dampening our hair and fur even more. I tried not to think of much as we walked but I’ve never been one to be able to clear my mind. It was always racing, thinking about all of the bad things that have happened and all of the bad things to come. Isol is here. They’re looking for us. She’s looking for me. I was the one who managed to trick her. They thought I was dead. They really want me dead. She’s in the bushes. I know she is. She’s going to kill me. I’m dead. I’m going to die. At thirteen. I have so much to live for, this can’t happen. No, I have the c-

“H-Hey Mud?” I blinked and turned towards Radi0. “Is it okay if we stop, just for a little while?” I nodded at him and then looked around, searching for a good place to rest, just for the rest of the day… or until Radi0 was feeling a bit better…

All that I could see for miles were trees. Radi0 wouldn’t be able to climb them in the state that he’s in. The trees were tall and had large, sturdy leaves, leaves that hardly budged when the rain fell down on them. I thought for a moment, the vines that decorated the trees also seemed pretty sturdy, along with the thick branches. I started to walk towards one of the trees and grabbed a vine that was hanging down. Radi0 looked at me, confused and scared. I gave him a thumbs up as I tried hopping onto the vine. I slipped off easily and fell to the ground with a surprised squeak, soaked in mud and rain water. I stood up and shook myself off. Yeah, this would work!

“I’m going to climb this tree,” I said, pointing to the closest one. “Please don’t go anywhere, I’m not really up for searching for a sick teen right now.”

“I’m not-” Radi0 began to protest, his voice raspy, but before he could say anything else, I started climbing up the tree. The branches were slippery, so it was hard to get a foothold, and I stumbled trying to get to a somewhat-dry branch. There was finally a thick enough branch to hold the both of us, so I started working. First step, find a sturdy (and big) enough leaf.

This shouldn’t be that tricky, I thought as I looked around, standing on the branch. I reached up to grab a large leaf that hung above my head and I tried to pull it off of the tree. I let out a small, frustrated laugh as the leaf didn’t budge. I tried pulling it off again, this time with more force. Still nothing.

Really? I thought to myself, aggravated at the stubbornness of the leaf. It was kind of like me, frustrating and stubborn. Then I had an idea. I had claws, sharp claws nonetheless, why didn’t I think of that before? I walked towards the stem of the leaf and started sawing away at it. After five minutes of frustrated scratching, the leaf finally fell off.

“Yes,” I muttered, holding out the ‘s’. I grabbed the leaf and held it over the edge of the branch to show Radi0. “I GOT A LEAF!” I called down to him. He stood up from where he was leaning on the tree and looked at me.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked.

“SOMETHING!” I called back, and then returned to working on my strange contraption. Second step, find a vine that wouldn’t snap under the weight of two people. Maybe this one would be easier to find. I looked around again, there was a vine hanging from a nearby tree. I reached for it and tugged. It was good that it was sturdy, but it was also bad that it was that sturdy. Why did everything in this forest have to be so needlessly sturdy? I tugged on it again, trying not to fall off the tree in the process. If only there was a closer vine… I tugged again, this time harder, and the vine came loose, wrapping me up as I fell back onto the branch. I untangled myself and grabbed the leaf. Finally, step three, figure out how to make an ‘elevator’ out of this.

I had literally no clue how.

[crimeronan]

ik youre not a therapist and i dont want like therapy or anything but im 17 and ive known i was bipolar for 3 years now and i dont know how im supposed to live the rest of my life like this. im so fucking tired. how do you stay alive

you sent this a couple days ago & i’m posting at a weird time so i’m not sure if you’ll see it but.  

i’ve been looking at this message trying to decide how to respond

because i don’t know your situation, your symptoms, how you’re feeling, whether you’ve had positive or negative experiences with medication, psychiatrists, therapists, hospitals, all that related shit

the bipolar life advice i give to people is vastly different depending on the individual. it’s not a one size fits all thing.  and there’s never even a guarantee that my advice will be the right choice

so since i don’t know about your situation or experiences or what you want, i’m not gonna tell you what to do.  i’m gonna focus on the “how do you stay alive” question and try to pen down some personal feelings. and if they help then great, and if they don’t then... this is the most honest i can be

(you can always ask another question to get a better answer. my inbox is a coin slot and i am a vending machine of varied-degrees-of-helpfulness replies offered at varied-inconvenient-too-long-intervals)

-

how do i stay alive

it’s a 2-parter, actually.  i pondered how to condense my thoughts/feelings, and it came down to these two things

1. love 2. spite

-

1. love

the spite is easier to write about than the love.  love is hard to reach when i feel like shit.

spite is where i go when i want to die.  love is where i go when i want to want to live.

maybe i don’t want to be alive.  but maybe i wish i did.  spite doesn’t help me much there.  spite keeps me afloat, but it doesn’t make the floating pleasurable.  there’s more to life than outlasting everything that ever hurt me.  i need a reason to continue when there’s no enemy to fight

so. love

i almost wrote about the spite alone because that’s rawer, realer, more visceral.  that’s the shit that CONNECTS when everything feels hopeless.  but it would be a lie of omission.  spite is only one of the major food groups, you’ll waste away from malnutrition if you eat it for every meal. or at least, i will.

“so you’ve got a bunch of people you love,” you say, “and you stick around for them.  cry on them.  support each other.  like each other.  fine.”  you’ve heard this story before

nah.

i mean - yes.  i have people i love.  i live with two partners, i’ve got a third girlfriend, i’ve got a long-distance platonic life partner.  i have a support net, i have a family i’ve forged, i have confidence that i’m not alone.  i have, in a bare-bones checklist sort of way, fulfilled my physiological human need for connection

but i could live without every single one of them.  i’m not dependent upon any of them for my survival.  i’m not dependent upon them for love, given or received.  (this isn’t a callous cruelty, it won’t hurt them if/when they read this.  i’ve told them all this, they know.  they’re glad of it.)

so.  what the fuck does “love” mean, then?

the short explanation is that it’s my love of life, of things in the world.  it’s all the little connections i’ve made.  every time i love something, a hook tethers to the universe.  hook enough tethers, and i no longer feel the need to float away.  no dissolution of self today, sir

the rest of this section is some of the things i love. partially it’s to show how i connect to little things and ascribe magic to the mundane.  partially it’s because i like thinking about things i love, i like typing them out, and i like that i could keep going for thousands and thousands of words.

i am laying in bed at 7:30 AM with the lights off and the shades drawn.  blue  light comes through the slats because it’s the better time of year, the one where i finally get vitamin D, the one where the birds chirp at 4AM, the one where the sky isn’t impenetrably black til 10PM.

there’s a weighted blanket tucked around my legs.  my partner rafi bought it for us to share because it’s soothing and heavy and comforting and helps with my physical pain.  right now it’s soft on my skin and if i get too emotional as i write, i can pull it over me like a cloak until i’m settled.

the apartment’s walls are blank because we’ve spent eight months intending to put art up and keep forgetting.  but there’s a newly-unearthed dining area in the kitchen because i finally shifted around the unpacked boxes that were dominating the space.  it’s new and it surprises me every time i walk out there.  it’s open and inviting and bright and it’s a sign that we’re making this place home.

we’ll put a cheap IKEA table by the window and we’ll probably never eat family dinners there - why would we sit in hard chairs and make stiff conversation when we could all cuddle on the couch - but my partner dev will create a place to do their art and the surface will be constantly littered with drying watercolor experiments.

we’ll hang our art one of these days, too, when our collective adhd offers a miraculous combo of remembering + having time + having motivation + having inspiration.  rafi has the most art because they’ve been collecting it for years.  i have to start smaller.  i’m not used to keeping physical objects.  dev has a few pieces thrifted or bought at local artist events or painted themselves

so we’ll put art up in the living room, my single “you are magic” flower print alongside a naked monster lady that dev fell in love with when we browsed art at a yuletide event months ago, alongside rafi’s monster girls and comic characters and book characters and literature art and quotes and abstract pieces and whatever else they have hiding in boxes.

my head protests that naked monster ladies do not belong in the living room, although the picture isn’t overtly sexual.  but then i remember that they do, actually, because it’s our space and we can do whatever we want with it as long as the lease isn’t broken.  there isn’t anyone in the local social circles who’d be perturbed by the decor, as far as i know.  i don’t have to hide anything from my parents because i live 3600 miles from them, and even though i miss my mom, the distance is good for me

there are two exquisite chairs on the porch.  they fold and recline from thrones to nearly-horizontal beds.  there are pillows and cupholders and trays and specific spaces for both a book and a phone.  i can sit there while the morning sun rises and read or play word games or browse tumblr, cup of coffee beside me, trees shielding my eyes from stabby sunbeams

there are remnants of the last tenant’s garden in one corner of the yard.  we’ve done fuckall for yardwork but plants struggle through anyway.  some seem to have sprouted by accident.  mushroom clusters populate the edges of the fence.  the apartment squirrel (there are probably several, but i like to think it’s a single energetic creature) runs back and forth along the fence & i always lose my train of thought & then laugh my ASS off at the “SQUIRREL! XD” adhd moment.  birds kick up leaf litter and play on the ground looking for insects to eat, they wiggle their tail feathers and flap their wings and sometimes they disappear and then return with friends

a little more than eleven months ago, i packed all of dev’s and my shit into a uhaul and drove and drove and drove to get to this city i’d never been in before to live with a partner i’d never cohabitated with.  we were homeless for more than a month, we weathered some financial disasters, we met some great people and some shitty ones

on the drive i fell in love with the sky.  i didn’t know how big it can get - actually, that’s a lie.  i’d FORGOTTEN how big it can get.  i’ve loved the sky thirty miles out to sea, no land in sight in any direction, just blue water and blue space above.  i’ve loved the vastness and the yawning beneath me and the knowledge that everything is BIGGER than i can fathom.  the depth of the sea doesn’t frighten me, it’s home. i don’t want to die, but if i had to, the ocean makes a soothing grave

in north dakota i discovered that i’ve been partially blind my whole life, which is a different tale that showed me i’ll never stop learning myself.  in montana we struggled up thousands of feet of mountains with the car huffing and puffing at the trailer’s weight, and when we finally coasted downward, it felt like sudden freefall.  we ended up in the pitch darkness of night on sheer winding interstates with midnight construction projects forcing detours.  the mountains felt hungry, they had teeth.  mountain cliffs are much scarier to me than the ocean depths

i bought a red bull and poured a little out the driver’s side door as an offering to hermes, because i’m not particularly religious but i’ll take help where i can get it.  slammed that back in a few gulps and shook to bright-eyed alertness and ended up behind a slow-driving red pickup truck that guided us over about a hundred miles of mountain terrain

i thought, that’s just some construction worker driving between sites.  the roads are empty at this time of night, but it’s an interstate.  of course we’d end up behind someone.  this isn’t divine intervention.  this isn’t the benevolence of a god

i thought, but it can be a little magic.  if i want it to be.  

and it was.  it stays with me.

god help me but i’ve been writing this stream of consciousness for more than 30 minutes and i’ve said nothing.  i haven’t talked about the city, the parks, the people, the conversations, the books, the tv shows, the movies, the communities, the library, the animals, writing, reading, singing, acting, swimming, analyzing, creating, supporting, building.  and i can keep going.  i can come up with hundreds and hundreds of things i love and i can write paragraphs about all of them

so i’ll stop here.  you get the picture.  love is the life i’ve made for myself, the surroundings i’ve built, the quiet moments i can capture, the inspiration i pin, the magic i commit to memory.

i had to work so damn hard for every single bit of this.

i’ll be fucking damned if i let it go because my brain tried to trick me into thinking death is better.

-

2. spite

there are people who want me to die.

i don’t mean that i have a giant entourage of personalized enemies who curse my name and plan my individual demise.  although there have been plenty of people who have not liked me much.  probably some of them would enjoy my death.  i don’t give a shit about that

there are people who want me dead because i am a dot on a grid they dislike.  a faceless anonymous enemy who meets too many bad criteria with numbers and percentages and shrinking majorities and shifting public opinion

because i’m gay.  because i’m bipolar.  because i’m autistic.  because i’m a dropout.  because i grew up poor.  because my spine curves and my shoulders ache.  because i squandered my potential, because i didn’t have enough potential, because i didn’t love god enough, because i love the wrong gods, because i don’t worship, because i worship wrong, because i didn’t seek a husband, because i never wanted one, because i talk too much, because i can’t be controlled, because i chose to leave the fold when i realized it was suffocating me, because i’m ugly, because i’m gorgeous, because my body belongs to me

pick your poison.

this bothered me growing up, a lot. i knew i did not deserve to die. but if enough people tell you that you should, a little part of you will wonder if they’re right.  that little part might become bigger the closer they get and the louder they shout and the longer they wear you down

we know the rough shape of this story, i don’t need to tell it.  mine was messy and not triumphant and i survived more by chance than premeditation.

i’m older now.  by and large i’m still young as shit - i’m 24 - but GOD i am LEAGUES away from 15, 16, 17. i know who i am. i know what i want. i know how to get it. and when i don’t know that, i find out. i tell the truth.  i ask for what i want.  i use my time how i want.  i do what i want.

there are days that i can’t access the “love” side of the equation.  no finding poetry in birdsong or sugared coffee for me, thank you, i feel like shit and the world is awful and everything is too big and fast and cruel and everything wants me to die and it wants everything i love to die, too.  everyone i love.  it’s all garbage. the good doesn’t touch me

trauma is difficult to describe.  the difficulty is compounded by the fact that my trauma is influenced by my various neurodivergences, bipolar included.  i never know if i’m feeling what other people do.  i don’t know if i’m voicing unpalatable feelings others are afraid to express - or if i’m just othering myself, admitting i’m not as human as everyone else.

there is something malevolent and monstrous inside me.  i don’t touch it all the time.  but i don’t pretend it isn’t there.  it sits in my chest and molders or radiates or oozes.  it presses at my throat.  it curdles in my stomach.  it hurts what it touches, whether that’s me or someone i love or someone i hate.  it sets things aflame with no regard for the precious or the fragile.  it tears down walls and razes shelters and begs for apocalyptic rain.

i can give this thing names, clinical descriptors.  i know what it is on a diagnostic chart, in a ponderous article, in an academic debate, in a fiction novel, in a war movie, in a memoir.  there are a thousand ways to describe this thing.  the descriptors aren’t important.  what is important is this - i have learned that most people do not walk side-by-side with a tornado-hurricane-hellfire-weaponized-open-nuclear-reactor.  this is not a “normal” expression of human emotion, this is not me trying to ascribe power to “bad bipolar feelings.”  this thing lives in me and i know why it’s there and it is not designed to be held/silenced/muzzled/controlled by my body.

it does not help to pretend this thing does not exist.  it does not help to try to reason it away or ignore it or tell it to stop.  it wants what it wants, it does what it does.  possibly if i was better at therapy or stubbornness then i wouldn’t resign myself to that

but it is fucking EXHAUSTING to try to fight something that’s part of me.  to try to reshape it, rename it, pare it down, make it consumable for the masses.  it’s a war i have never won and it’s a war that i will lose if i keep fighting it.  i cannot fight with myself.  i cannot beat my monster into submission.  if we’re gonna battle like that, head to head, me trying to cut it down, me trying to be the hero, it rearing back like a fire-breathing dragon,

then it’s stronger.  it’s always stronger.

so i surrender.

but that’s not where i stop.

can’t fight it.  can’t kill it.  can’t muzzle it.  can’t reshape it, can’t disarm it, can’t contain it.  

alright.  

so what now.

if the surrender was a full giving-up, this is where i’d passively accept that i’m doomed to hurt and destroy everything precious to me.  can’t fix it.  will lose everything, will never experience or deserve happiness, will make the world worse simply by existing.

that sure does sound like impending-doom rhetoric.  hop skip and a jump from some dire-ass conclusions.  

so fuck that, i say. 

here’s a better question.

if it has to get out, then what happens if i control where it goes?

here’s the thing.

the monster doesn’t care what it kills or destroys or hurts.  

“have a conscience, care about things, remember love, stop yourself, don’t do this don’t do this don’t do this.” 

 losing battle.  lost war.

 it’s not the monster’s fault.  the monster doesn’t have complex motivations or hates or fears.  it exists to protect me through scorched earth.  a remnant of a chemical imbalance, maladaptive coping mechanism, bipolar crazy, traumatized injury.  it doesn’t know that its job is obsolete.

i can’t change the monster.

but my mind is a separate thing.  my mind knows what matters, what my priorities are, what i find precious, what i want to protect.  my mind remembers all the things the monster doesn’t.  

my mind has learned things the monster can’t.

when i fight it head-on, the malevolence is stronger than me.  but as i am, walking with it, sitting in my bed writing this while examining the void and the consciousness, describing it, quantifying it,

that’s when i’m stronger.

and with my mind as the stronger force, i can decide where the monster goes.  what it touches.  what it destroys.  what it burns.  where the ashes land.

i do not want to be a destructive person.  i want to be someone who builds, repairs, changes.  i want to make the world better for kids like me.  i want to stop pouring more gasoline onto a fire that’s been burning since long before i was born.  i want to believe - i do believe - that positive change is better than negative.  i do my best to plant good things and enact that positive change instead of becoming a beacon of wrath.

but there are a lot of kids surrounded by people who want them to die, and not all of them have a protective monster.

so it’s good.

when i’m depressed, my mind loses its battles.  my cognizance slips.  i forget why i care.  i forget what i want.  i forget how happiness feels, how to find pleasure in quiet moments.  

i don’t get depressed as often as i used to since my meds are adjusted correctly now.  but it still happens.  it will keep happening for the rest of my life.

my mind weakens and curls up and stops fighting, and the monster is always there.

it’s a very powerful thing when it wants to be.

it wants to survive.

the thing is, it knows there are people that want me/us/whatever dead.  it’s been fighting them forever.  die like they want?  my mind says, sure, what does it matter.

the monster says, nah.  our work isn’t done.  and fuck them, anyway.

so we get up.

-

so that’s how i stay alive.

i typed this for 90 minutes and after editing i’d spent two hours on this post.  i don’t know if anyone will read it all.  i don’t know if it’ll mean anything.  i don’t know if these thoughts even make sense, much less if i’ve conveyed the feelings i have.

i love being alive.  and when i don’t, i love being a monster.  it’s good.  all of it is good.  i’ve reconciled my uglier pieces.  it’s not one or the other, love or spite.  it’s symbiosis.  i need both, i love both.

no guarantees that this is helpful, but based purely on my own life experience, these are my tips for survival:

you’ll have to find your own roots.  i can’t give them to you.  

but it’s possible to dig them in and spread them far enough that one uprooted peg doesn’t shift your whole equilibrium.  

and when you’re tired, rest, and let yourself be tired, and find the reason why you’re staying in the world. 

 i’m positive there’s at least one.

figure out why you’re losing your battles and then change the game.

if you can’t win one setup, don’t try to beat the system.  adjust your strategy.

you’ll be surprised by what you can love when you stop fighting the disparate pieces of you, and instead figure out how to use them.

[calumcest]

hello i don't have time to answer your messages today bc i have to go watch umbrella academy with my dad now i'm very sorry but i heard soulmate au drabbles & i need them. i miss luke being bitchy so much it's insane (not that i'm not loving all the britpop content but soulmate lashton are my life) okay so i can't decide between 'it's freezing in here' & 'i don't want to talk about it' so please write whatever you want with either of those just please make it soulmate lashton -spoiler twin

omg i hope u enjoyed umbrella academy! also dont worry about it omg no stress get to it when u get to it theres never any pressure from me god knows itd be hypocritical anyway given how terrible i am at responding to messages but i get it no pressure x 

-

Of course, it stands to reason that the first time Clifford goes missing is while Luke’s in London with Ashton. 

He’s not even sure how it happens. One minute Clifford’s in Luke’s line of vision, barking happily as he chases a squirrel and then changes his mind and chases his own tail instead, and then Ashton’s calling Luke, making Luke turn around on instinct, only to see Ashton tapping his watch to indicate they need to get going if they’re going to make it to their next interview with the researchers, and when he turns back, Clifford’s gone. 

It doesn’t immediately register, because Clifford bounds about like a fucking madman anyway, so Luke just searches the area a little lazily, eyes flicking from tree to bush to path to tree, but when he’s covered about three-quarters of the patch of grass in front of them, he’s frowning, stepping forward as he twists left to right, panic rising in his chest as he realises shit, shit, Clifford’s not there. 

“Shit,” he mutters, and looks over to the tree Clifford had been playing near, just in case he’d somehow managed to miss him, but the only dog there is a huge Samoyed ambling lazily around its base. 

“Luke,” Ashton calls again, and Luke feels a sudden stab of anger so strong that it makes his vision blur, mixing with the panic to create a hot mixture of fury that tries to claw its way up his throat and onto his tongue. God, if Ashton hadn’t called his name just to tell him they need to leave, this wouldn’t have happened. He couldn’t’ve just fucking said Luke, we need to go like a normal person, could he? No, the fucking narcissist needed Luke to be looking at him, needed to be the centre of Luke’s attention. Fucking hell. 

Luke grits his teeth as he jogs past the tree the Samoyed’s sniffing around, not even catching its attention as he passes, and looks wildly around the open, empty space on the other side. There’s a couple walking their Labrador to his left, three children playing football on his right, a mother exasperatedly dragging her screaming child away from a puddle he clearly wants to play in, but no tiny, yappy dog bounding around, chasing birds or squirrels or other dogs. 

Shit. 

Shit.

He can’t have lost Clifford. He can’t have. Not in London, especially, thousands and thousands of miles from home and Michael and Calum with only Ashton for company. God, he’d rather be alone, he thinks, as he turns back around and looks back over at the tree a little desperately, like his memory of Clifford trotting around it will make him re-materialise there, somehow. It doesn’t, though, unless Clifford re-materialises as a huge, fluffy white dog, and Luke swears under his breath as his heart hammers in his chest, fists clenching and unclenching at his side as his gaze flits from left to right and back again, hazy around the edges with panic. 

He doesn’t even know how to look for a missing dog. Posters, sure, but where? London’s huge, and Clifford could be fucking anywhere by now, full of endless energy and curiosity and an insatiable desire to explore streets he’s never been down before. He’s far too friendly for his own good, too, always yaps at Ashton’s feet in that way that means I want to be picked up right now and by you specifically, fuck the guy who buys me food and toys and cuddles me at night, and a vision of Clifford sat at someone else’s feet at dinner, blinking up at them beseechingly while they shovel chicken into their mouth hits Luke so hard it almost gives him whiplash, makes him swallow back bile. 

What’s he going to say to Ashton? I lost my dog in the three seconds I looked away from him? Ashton’s had Spot for years, had Ralph and Evie before her, too, and he’s never lost any of his dogs. Luke’s going to look completely incompetent, fucking hell. It doesn’t matter, though, really, he tells himself - at least, not yet, won’t matter until Clifford’s back with him and safe again. 

He takes a deep breath and clenches his fists again, inhales deeply and exhales heavily, trying to let the desire to throttle Ashton leave with the air in his lungs, and then marches stiffly back around the tree, rehearsing what he’s going to say to Ashton. You cunt, Clifford ran away while you were- no, too angry. Clifford’s run awa- no, too matter-of-fact, makes it sound like it’s a common occurrence. I need to find Clifford, maybe? That’s vague enough, isn’t it? Yeah, that’ll do; he can send Ashton off to the interview and let him make their excuses while he combs the park looking for Clifford. After all, it’s Ashton’s fucking fault Clifford’s got lost, isn’t it? The least the fucker can do is come up with an excuse for Luke’s absence.

Luke takes another deep breath, rounds the corner and plays the words over and over again in his head, trying to make sure they’re practiced enough to sound real, eyes searching for Ashton. He spots him waiting by the gate leading out of the park, looking aimlessly around as he stands lazily, shifting from foot to foot, arms at his side, dog between his legs- 

Dog between his legs. 

Clifford’s right there, nestled happily between Ashton’s legs, gazing aimlessly around the park with his tongue hanging out and his tail wagging. He looks serene, that calm happiness that he usually only gets with Luke, and it makes Luke furious for some reason, makes him jog over to Ashton with an expression that makes Ashton frown at him as soon as he sees him coming. 

“What?” Ashton asks, puzzled, brows drawn over hazel eyes. Luke swallows, trying not to think about the way Ashton’s lashes are casting tiny shadows on the smooth skin of his cheekbones. He still wants to throttle him. 

“Nothing,” he says tightly, and yanks Clifford’s lead out of Ashton’s hand without so much as a thank you, relief flooding his veins so fast and hard that he barely even notices the way his fingers tingle as they make contact with Ashton’s skin. 

“What happened?” Ashton sounds genuinely concerned, like maybe Luke had been mugged while he’d been running wildly around the field - Jesus, Luke thinks, with a tiny grimace; he must have looked fucking insane to Ashton. 

“Nothing,” Luke snaps, and winds Clifford’s lead around his hand a few times, making sure he can’t stray further than a foot from Luke’s heels. Clifford glares up at him, like he knows what Luke’s doing and resents him for restricting his freedom, but doesn’t bark about it, which is something. 

“Are you okay?” Ashton asks, and his voice is a little softer now, tinged with the sort of gentle concern that Luke only ever hears from Calum to Michael. It makes Luke’s stomach lurch, somehow, the way he associates that tone with Calum and Michael, and he nods curtly, and looks away from Ashton.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Luke says, letting all the anger and frustration leak into his voice to hide the slight edge of fear, and Ashton bites his lip but nods, and steps away. 

“Alright,” he says, and that’s it. He doesn’t push, he doesn’t nudge, he doesn’t wheedle, he doesn’t force it out of Luke, he just steps back, steps away, and respects Luke’s space. A wave of guilt washes over Luke at that - it hadn’t really been Ashton’s fault, had it? - but he stares steadfastly ahead of him as he reaches for the gate and pulls it open with a little more force than strictly necessary. Ashton lets him go through first, lets him tug on Clifford’s lead and pull him through too, before walking behind him, closing the gate and falling into step a metre or two away from Luke, giving him the space he needs. 

They walk in silence for a while, Ashton ambling alongside Luke as he tries to focus on his ebbing anger, trying to dredge it back to the forefront of his heart so he won’t have to think about the guilt that’s quietly but insistently making a home in it. Loath though he is to admit it to himself, Luke has to concede that it wouldn’t have been Ashton’s fault if Clifford had run away. And it’s not Ashton’s fault that Clifford had run to him instead of Luke, that he’s happy and calm with him in the same way he is with Luke, but it doesn’t stop the tired anger spiking in Luke’s veins a little when he thinks about it, furious at the idea that Clifford could possibly like Ashton. But it’s not Ashton’s fault. 

Luke doesn’t say anything, can’t bring himself to apologise for his bad mood and his unwarranted snappiness, but by the time they arrive at the interview, still not having spoken a word, he realises that the gap between himself and Ashton has narrowed to all of a few centimetres, his hand brushing against Ashton’s every so often as they walk, and he can’t remember whether it had been him or Ashton who had closed the gap.

(It doesn’t really matter, though, he realises with a jolt, because either way, he’d allowed it to happen.)

[drangues]

Trust me, I know, but trying to tell my anxiety to fuck off is: Hard. In other news, I’ve gone down a rabbit whole of desserts and sweet fruits and I desperately wanna try a mangosteen. Anyways, I’m glad you think Inari is a good name!!! I just wanted to name his dragon after a god like Atsushi’s (speaking of, Chuuya’s is definitely named Arahabaki and it is Angry, At All Times), and that Inari is the deity of rice just felt like a cute nod to Dazatsu, haha. (Nyanon, 1/6)

And Atsushi is just like: Being mothered by a cat who looks like a tiger isn’t how I expected to spend my teenage years but Here I Am. And his foster parents treating him more like a sibling or friend is kinda sad (give my boy parents!!!) but understandable, especially, since he’d probably be rather independent. Either way, it’s leagues better than the orphanage and he’s a great full little bean. Oh yeah no, Kouyou is definitely Sailor Pluto!!! (Nyanon, 2/6)

Which... Might make Kyouka Sailor Chibi Moon? Doesn’t Sailor Pluto also look after her??? And it’d give her a close relationship with Atsushi... Who she’d get along with more than Chibiusa gets along with Usagi, whoops. Inversely, she seems to love messing with Dazai. Speaking of, it’s good to know that he knew!!! I. Could not remember, but either way, it’d still be a cute dynamic he’d have with Atsushi. (Nyanon, 3/6)

As for the Soulmarks- The Headmaster would probably convince him they’re flukes, because he’s a Bastard. Or worse, he’d tell him he’s a thief who managed to steal the marks from their “rightful owners,” which would probably make Atsushi hide his marks and keep them a secret from the others in shame. Maybe that’s how the discover the abuse in this AU??? But anyways, have another (fluffy!) AU Concept: Atsushi becomes a gardener!!! Who specializes in edible food, like fruit trees. (Nyanon, 4/6)

Not a farmer, because he doesn’t raise animals (though I’d imagine they still love him, and his gardens are frequented by rare birds and butterflies and bees for pollination). I’d imagine that, instead of going to Yokohama from the orphanage, he goes out towards the countryside...? Maybe he meets Kenji’s family, and that’s how he gets invested in growing plants! And he still has his ability, but having a garden means having His Own Territory. (Nyanon, 5/6)

Which maybe makes the tiger calm down a bit by the time he figures it out? And maybe he meets the ADA because they have to go out that way for... Some reason. I’m not sure yet, but they Must Meet. Maybe Kenji just dragged them to visit his hometown. (Nyanon, 6/6)

KYOUKA AS CHIBIUSAAAA YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE IT SO MUCH

and oof!!! the soulmark au where the headmaster says those lies make sense :OOO and then dazais distressed “atsushi it’s IMPOSSIBLE to steal somebodys soulmark oh my g o d hes so full of shit-”

ATSUSHI IS A GARDENER OEGEHJKSAJAKDS Y E S S S they would either meet with kenji visiting his hometown/kenji calling atsushi to visit him during the winter (cus then u dont have to Do much) and/or the ADA being on a mission in another city and like, stopping by the country side OR steering off the road to like lose their enemies and boom they run into atsushi

either way, everyone is Whipped and loves his amazing apple pies

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 3

"PRISONERS"

Notes by me

- everytime Jack calls them Kids I discover 3 new emotions

- "we have no idea what this planet could offer!"

"........trees and moss"

- "I have no idea" 💕💞💕

- ok strange distraught man

- beamed!

- I hate it when Jack tries to explain things to people and they just TURN OFF THEIR EARS

- daniels hat hanging off his neck makes it look like a choker 👀 where's his cat ears

- creepy whistling!!! Dont like that!

- I'm laughing they were literally sent to prison

- feet. Omg what. Worst version of Cinderella

- *a prisoner gets obliterated by the vortex and cut off at the feet*

The other prisoners:

- ok violence! Of course Sam is a possession . can I get one fictional show without "realistic sexism" pls. Can I PLEASE get one show PLEASE

- "kids" 💕

- "tealc, look scary and take point"

- this dude who wants to be tealcs friend is so goddamn creepy *nervous laugh*

- leader lady seems really nice. The fuck did she do to get in prison

- Jack taking daniels glasses off and saying that showing weakness is not a good idea in prison 💜 reblog if u agree

- HUGE big brother vibes. Also Jack is acting like hes been in prison before 🤔

- no glasses!Daniel

- "the great circle"

- "the great wave" is actually a really cool name for the vortex thing

- she can give them the power they need but needs something in return?

- WHAT theyre gonna use....a plant?

- woa woa woa someone attacked Daniel and tealc protected him and we didnt get to see it??? Writers, turn on your location I just want to talk

- bodyguard!tealc

- "what are WE in here for?"

"Jay walking"

- Jack just admitted he was in prison once!!! What when where!!!

- ah yes goopy mud! Yummy!

- I wonder what it actually is? It looks a little like light brown brownie batter lol

- alright the leader of sg3 is kinda hot👀

- SG3 is headed to P2A509 and is no longer on the rescue team for sg1 :(

- P3X775 is where the people who sent them to prison are. The Taldor or whatever

- I'm assuming sg1 is not on the same planet as the people who sent them to prison since they went thru a stargate to get there

- hammond is going personally!!

- apparently she tried to help the taldor with a plague and accidently made it worse so they sent her to prison. Tough crowd

- is this hammonds first time going thru the stargate????

- IT IS!!!

- "the things I do for these people" AJDNRIDNDJSBFKDNFN

- daniel when hes sitting on the ground in the dirt. Its the slutty pose for me

- Jack dragging him up by the arm

- they commited suicide and thats so fucked up. And Daniel tried to stop them :(

- every single prisoner in this prison craves violence

- what was that? That hand device she used looked goauldish?

- saved by tealc!!! Bodyguard!tealc

- um when daniels lying unconcious and Sam is stroking his hair 😭😭❤

- meanwhile! I'm having fun with sassy Defense attorney!Hammond

- this Big Voice sounds suspiciously like a machine

- SHE CURED BLINDNESS HOLY moly

- "danny boy" AJDBEISDBDKZNDJDJDK

- wait why are they saying he won the fight? Didnt they see Linea with the hand held thing? She wasnt exactly hiding

- P2A509 ! daniel always with the plan

- "....and this just came to you?"

"No, it came to me while I was suffocating"

- yes! Go meet up with sg3! I want to see the hot Major again 😌

- time for Dirt Soup !

- hahaha Daniel made it to the top of the food chain bc he "won the fight". Its very obvious he didnt but I'm not gonna argue with a bunch of prisoners with an IQ of 3

- using his status so that sg1 can eat first lmfao my boy knows how to play the role💅💅💅💅💅

- tealc giving the dirt soup one look and becoming the human equivalent of the word Nah

- the power of plants!!

- this prisoner is gonna try some shit im calling it now

- it worked !

- LMFAO Daniel could not get out of there fast enough.,,boy was a blur

- did one prisoner get thru?

- daniels glasses resting on his head, holding his hair back ✨

- "this place is so alien"

"I thought so when I first came here. However, over time it has become home"

- its so funny to me when people from other planets call sg1 aliens. Like.....arent your ancestors from earth....that makes you an "alien" too

- exchanging science! Sharing knowledge!! This is what the program is about!!

- "he actually won"

- Jack has bruises on his neck from the fight earlier . I'm looking

- OKAY linea is evil?? Like mega evil? She kills people with plagues??? Its always the sweet old ladies you have to watch out for isnt it

- shit is she downloading all the stargate info? All the addresses they have?

- how in the goddamn fuck does she know how to work computers btw??? She literally locked them out of their own system and she doesnt even know what atoms are??? I'm so confused

- "we let her out"

"The destroyer of worlds"

- I really hope we see her again. This seems like an interesting storyline

~

Whump under the cut

Team sg1 whump: thrown through the gate, prisoners

Jack Oniell whump : grabbed , choked, fought, bruises on neck from rope

Daniel jackson whump: thrown from gate, heavy breathing, threatened, grabbed from behind, squeezed, choked, passed out, unconscious , weak, disoriented

No glasses!Daniel for more than half the episode🤓

🎶listening to Locked Up by Akon🎶

🎶listening to Cell Block Tango from the musical Chicago 🎶

[sentofighta]

on the previous post note; muses’ affection expression (if they have partner or not)

Einar

he will let you pet and feed his cat. make his food because he HATES homemade food. compromise and let you hug him whenever you want. fix his clothes or touch his head. now to harder level. comfortable with you seeing his right magetik arm. comfortable with you seeing his bare chest with the scar and tattoo. sleep next to him and hug him while sleeping. will hug back because he will definitely want to hug you back (no sniff your hair shut up.) will use cat to talk to you because he is embarrassed to ask if you want to do something or go out. let you kiss him whenever you want. starts headbutting your back whenever he wants attention because he is a literal cat. pURRS when he is given attention. will start hugging you from the back maybe even carry you so he can sit you on his lap because he wanna hug all of you. he is tall sonvabinch he probably think of you as his cat. is it bad? idk. talk to him not me. excuse him to stop being shy about his fetish and sniff your hair because u definitely have nice smell mm yes. 

Eight

redirects. innocent af.  ok but shows up to ask if you wanna join his training. jogs nearby where you are/sit so he can see you. does the oh coincidence thing but it is not. will climb a tree to pick up an apple for you if you looked at it. stares into your general direction but has the cool calm poker face to cover it up at first. blushes a little whenever he sees you because you make his heart go boom boom and he did not feel like this before. the i might be sick because i feel weird whenever i see this person. sudden realization because he actually has good amount of smart braincells that he is in love. it could either go i am going to forget this because we are at war and i cant get distracted OR this is new for me and i am interested in knowing more about this route. whichever route you are bound to hyper active tiny boyfriend who will punch people for you. and has like the purest smile ever. have you seen my son smile that he obliterated the sun and the moons? yeah. 

Machina

actually knows how to flirt when he wants to. generally nice and caring to all but extra for his crush. will show up magically whenever you need help because he has the sixth sense (thanks to his fear lol) will help you study and train if you wished for it! hey wanna.....talk about chocobos? wiggle eyebrows. do you believe in collecting chocobo feathers? because my wish was granted; talking to you. will confess at the right time because he cant hide his feelings anymore. will hug and kiss you every time he sees you if you allowed him--well, hugs mostly because he likes being around you. obligatory nap around the chocobos. brushing your hair and playing with it definitely. h*ND h*LDING !!!!!!! EXTREME! carries you like the princess you are because he loves you to bits. high affection when he carries u, sits u on his lap then wraps his dracula cape around you both. just the cape wrapping is his thing because now you are so close to him and chu when no one is looking. ok the final stage could be you see him crying because lets face it he fucked up a lot haha~~~ u know ~~ usual machina dumb onagiri kyun stuff.

Zack

EXTREME FLIRTING WHAT IS GOOD BOY? are you an angel? can i offer my services for you?? stronk boy and soldier impressed or what? head pats. h*nd h*ldong god at an early stage because he means it. will make your wishes come true even if you wanna go to the moon. will make stuff for you. smiles brightly shinra uses him to generate electricity. tells u a lot that he is proud of you. tells u a lot he likes you. tells you a lot that he will protect you (and if u fight bonus that you willhave his back too) treasures everything you do and call you cute.  doting boyfo. actually very softy will cry if you put on a sad movie. carries you a lot because he has the stronk to do it. are you impressed x2?????? i love you~~~ hey hey do you know what? i love you~ listens to you and to your rambling. will beat up anyone who hurts you. excuse him to nap on you because this is his best spot. a lot of hugs. expect a lot of them hugs. hugs. hUGS. hes more of cheek and forehead chus because they are more playful but will give lip kiss if it was more serious and important situation. 

Sohrab

 . . . .if he allowed you to be near him when he is synthesizing that is the first step. initiate a conversation himself EVEN if he does not have anything to ask out of you. actually keep an eye on your vitals because you are...important test subject. makes things for you but calls them test items and he does not need them so take them. maybe he can slip a gift or two because he felt like it. does not nap around strangers but around you he is...fine. actually tells you he might see you in a different light but unsure how so dont expect much. gradually he will let you be close to him maybe touch his face or hair. no hugs or sudden kisses yet but if he prepared himself..it might be allowed. he is good at pip talk. also expect some sewing because mommy taught him how! count on him to fix things for you. gets tiny upset if you dont give him your broken things to fix or mend them. rely...on me ok? i may not be a strong fighter but....i can do other things. rare moment of a smile will definitely melt your heart. once he make up his mind, he will ask if you are willing to stick with a madman who probably likes science and alchemy maybe a little bit than you? 

Lucina

hey. wanna spar? compliment you a lot. smiles!!!!!!!!! more spar please. actually make effort to find you around many people but does not approach. just seeing you makes her happy for some reason. smile and wave. spar???????? talk to you more! compliment you for doing good job! now you have her watch your back and be a little bit reckless to protect you. apologize but she is not sorry to protect you. b-because you are an important friend . . . . . friend ? ? ? ?  lucina exe crush down. goes to read books about this explosion in her chest every time she sees you. books say to act natural. time to ignore you for a bit because it is said in the book play hard to get. regret decision when you mention if you did something wrong she will aPOLOGIZE ALOTALOTALOT! NO YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG IMSRRRYYYYY. new tactic. spar??????????????????????????????? please notice me. more effort in cooking things you like for the lunch break. you might die of poisoning but it is made with love!!!!! spar. . . . realize she cant confess, she cant express herself but in a spar. uses spar to tell you that she might be perhaps like you!!!!!!!! that is why she wanna be stronger!!!!!!!!!!!! blushing princess lucina of ylisse you will be executed by her dad if you make her cry. but actually cries if you say you like her back. cue her sudden doubts because not fit enough to be a ‘woman’ since she knows next to nothing about how to be a good partner. will promise to trust you and her heart. NAGA ALLOWS FOR AND HOLDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!! then she can be comfortable with hugs after tiny bit. you could for chus and she wouldnt mind but have mercy on her kokoro. expect her to chus your cheek every time she sees you because my S-support for life~ 

Roland

does not beat around the bushes. if he likes someone and is sure will confess. easy. got the ok he will start with whatever they are comfortable with. naga has blessed this and allowed hand holding. lets go for a picnic in the forest or anywhere. animals come because he is their friend! now you are animals friend because you are his girlfriend. very gentleman. does not do anything 18+. plus he probably cant due to his OCD so you are the only one after lucina he can hold her hand no problem. dont worry he may like his sister but he does not speak about her when you are around. leans against you and you can too! tells u he trust you so much. lets climb a tree and enjoy the scenery. or we can ride on Vesperus, his horse! listens to you and actually try to give you advice if he can. a courtesy kiss to your cheek~! he is trying his best! smiles from his heart it has been a long time someone made him feel loved like this. 

Aiden

go home she is a narcissist. but if someone managed she is just a dumb who will make your life miserable because she will prank the shit out of you at first. slowly warms up to the idea she likes someone. has a pretty good idea about where you were what were you doing ect because she was watching. she is watching you. make sure you have eaten. have you slept? compliment you if you impressed her. be more comfortable to rehearse her lines around you. asks you to help her rehearse. wanna play something together lets say walk on a tight rope??????? lol wuss. no hugs or touching till now. admits she might have something for you but....you may not like to be with an orphan of no lineage. pass that? well, then are you ready to accept she is criminal? pass that then are you ready to accept she is going to make you regret this choice??? because she will make every day of your life like a circus! excuse her to sweep your hand to hold it and tug you somewhere only for the two of you. let her hold your hand for a bit it is ...nice. leans against you. 

Balan

listen....i dont want to joke about this but...he is...probably over the human interactions because he married his job but i assure you he is very loyal man. thats it. 

Feiruz

yEEELLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does not realize she loves you until one of her sisters point she mentions you like ten times in every conversation. is very kind and pure and diligent. will not force herself on you in any way just subtly gives you the things you like after going through the trial and error a couple of times! keeps notes of you in her ‘People journal’ because she is a scatterbrain. maybe draw a tiny heart around your name shhh love interest. is very happy and loud when she sees you!!!!! HE-LLLOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! asks about your health and if you had eaten properly and slept well. offers more gift from her own farm to impress you with her work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smiles~~~~ smiles even more around you because you make her happy. does not confess. she is not the type to. more like i will just watch because deep inside believes she can be loved due to some bullying in school and only her fam likes her (who likes a scatterbrain who keeps messing things up???) if you confess expect waterfall and ugly crying because she cant believe it is happening ;;;;a;;;; promises to do her best to make you happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she will do her best to make you happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 you made her happy beyond words and now just she clings to you please dont be upset with her she will do her best to not cause any trouble! but she bounces back and runs to bake something for this occasion~ time to feed boyfo! say ah~ be ready for fatting sessions because she will cook and bake a lot of things!! well, when she has time after her farm work now she is super excited and motivated! is shy but will give cheek chus if she can reach. likes to tug your shirt from behind so you can lower yourself so she can properly give you a kiss to your cheek/forehead. wishes you best of luck in your job!!!!!!!!!!! good luck!!! come home h-h-h-h-h-h-h...eeeeh....h-h-h-..HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;;;U;;;

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crush // Shawn Mendes mini-series part 2

part 2 wohoooo!! this is honestly such a cute story i love writing it, im currently finishing the last part so i’ll probably update very soon!

part 1

masterlist

The awkwardness soon vanishes. This clear new chapter we just opened with Shawn allows me to loosen up and just enjoy a nice evening. Aaliyah and Eric seems satisfied with the outcome, the parents seem to hit it off quite easily and when we leave they already start making plans for another meetup.

“It was so nice meeting you!” Karen sighs happily as she hugs goodbye to all of us.

“You too, email me that recipe you told me about!” Mom points at her and she nods her head laughing.

I’m just about to step out of the house when Aaliyah grabs my wrist and pulls me back. I look at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“I need your help with a little something. Can you come over sometime tomorrow?” she whispers confidentially.

“Um, yeah. Around what time?” I ask.

“Three pm?”

“Sure,” I smile at her and she lets go of me.

On the way back home I’m thinking about what Aaliyah could need help with and the only thing I have in mind is Eric’s birthday that is on the 29th. She must be planning something special for him.

I call Maddi around midnight when I’m already in my pj’s, but I know she must be still up, maybe even drunk. For my surprise, she answers the phone quite modestly.

“How was the family union?” she asks chewing on something. I throw the cushions off of my bed and crawl under the blanket.

“Um, very interesting,” I chuckle closing my eyes and just shaking my head at the thought of the evening.

“Uh, spill the tea!” She cheers clearly very thirsty for some drama, though this story is not as juicy as she would want it.

“Guess who Aaliyah’s brother is!” I say, but I don’t expect an answer so I just continue. “Shawn Effing Mendes.”

“What?! Are you kidding me?” She gasps. “How did Eric forget to tell you this small detail?”

“Apparently, he thought it doesn’t matter to me, which is kind of true, but there is more.”

“What more? Did he hit on you? Because I’m not talking to you again if he did. He is hot!”

“No, he didn’t, but what you don’t know is that we have history.”

“Okay, now I’m confused!? How do I not know about this?”

“Well, remember my ex, Dylan? I told you about him.”

“Yeah, the asshole who cheated on you,” she hums.

“Well, Dylan and Shawn used to be best buds when we started dating, but the guy hated my guts, or so I thought. He was always mean to me, talking against me and just… avoiding me like the plague.”

“I thought he is the nicest person on earth.”

“He might be now, but when I knew him, he treated me like shit. So it was pretty awkward to see him again after all these years.”

“And how did it go? Was he an ass again?”

“No. He was… nice. Well, we both acted awkward in the beginning, I didn’t know if he would continue his act with me, but he turned out to be nice. And then at one point he told me he is sorry for everything in the past and he was just acting like that because he wanted to amuse Dylan.”

I turn to my side and stare out the window.

“That’s good, right? I mean, he grew out that mean phase and he is all good now.”

“Yeah, it’s just still weird to be around someone I knew from my Dylan phase.”

“But it’s Eric who is dating Aaliyah, why would you be constantly around him?”

“Aaliyah asked me to go over tomorrow, I think she is trying to put a surprise together for Eric’s birthday, so I’m spending the afternoon at the Mendes house.”

“Oh, then keep me updated about the details and sneak me a shirtless photo of Shawn please.”

“Maddi!” I scoff laughing. “Why would I even see him shirtless?”

“Maybe he likes wandering around in his home without clothes on, how would I know?!”

“Unbelievable. I’m going to sleep.”

“Bye bitch,” she sighs making me roll my eyes at her smiling.

“Bye.”

  I sleep late the next day, it’s past noon when I actually make it downstairs looking like a real human being. Eric and Dad are watching a documentary on WW II. while Mom is reading the newspaper at the dining table. I join her with a bowl of cereal.

“Do you have any plans for today?” She smiles at me over her narrow glasses as she turns a page. I lean closer hitting a confidential tone.

“I’m helping Aaliyah today, she asked me to go over around three.”

“Oh, birthday surprise for Eric?” she asks clearly excited.

“I think yeah.”

“Great. And you will probably see Shawn again.” Winking at me she puts the papers down.

“Why does that matter?” I ask with my mouth full. She caresses my cheek before standing up and walking over to the sink for some water.

“Isn’t he a nice young man? I think the two of you would look cute together.”

“Mom, you are literally talking about the biggest pop sensation, he is not really the kind of guy who just casually dates,” I say.

In my mind all these celebrities are living their wildest life. Even if I were interested in Shawn in any way, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even get in the game, he must have thousands of girls waiting for him in line. We are not really on the same page.

“Oh, come on. You guys knew each other in high school, you have a past, that connection must mean something!”

“He was an ass to me!” I blurt it out making her eyebrows raise.

“He was? What did he do?”

“It’s nothing,” I roll my eyes, but Mom gives me a demanding look. “He just didn’t seem to like me no matter what I did, he was avoiding me most of the time when I was with Dylan and also made some pretty rude comments sometimes.”

“Maybe he was into you,” Mom shrugs and I almost choke on the milk.

I start coughing like I’m about to die and my eyes start watering when I’m finally able to breathe evenly again.

“No fucking way!”

“Charlie! Language!” She hisses at me, but there is a smile hiding in her eyes. “You know, young boys tend to do it. They are mean to the girls they like.”

“Mom, it wasn’t in kindergarten, it was ninth grade or something. I think he just really didn’t like me back then and I don’t blame him.” I was annoying, thinking back at it. But hey, all teens are annoying!

“You can never know,” she sighs.

 I totally ignore the theory Mom tried to make me believe, there is absolutely no chance of the nonsense she told me, and this is what I keep telling myself as I’m on my way to the Mendes house.

“Hey!” Aaliyah greets me with a wide smile. She is now wearing some more comfortable clothes than the last two times I saw her, the grey sweats and lose white shirt must be her home wear. “Come in! My parents are out at a friend’s place, and Shawn…” she starts, but just when she is about to finish he appears on the top of the stairs.

“Is here,” he chimes in. I look up and there he is, in a pair of checked pj pants and a black shirt. Looking at it, I think Aaliyah has his shirt on, it seems like the same size.

“Hi,” I smile at him.

“Come, let’s sit.” I follow Aaliyah into the living room and we sit down to the couch next to their Christmas tree. From the corner of my eyes I see Shawn going into the kitchen and for a moment I’m actually disappointed he is not coming with us.

“So. I want to surprise Eric with cooking for him, but I have no idea what. I tried to find out what’s his favorite, but he says it’s his favorite to everything!” she growls frustrated. I shake my head laughing.

“That’s typical.”

“Yeah. So do you have anything in mind?”

“Well, he really like tiramisu. He can eat tons of it, all the time. That’s good for dessert,” I offer. Aaliyah has her phone in her hands and she is typing everything I say down.

“Okay, got it.”

“Um, he likes gazpacho. He thinks it sounds fancy and you know, he likes everything with ketchup, so a soup that tastes like tomato was made for him.”

“Oh yeah, he pours so much ketchup into his sandwiches, it’s crazy,” she rolls her eyes jokingly. “Okay, so gazpacho. Anything else?”

“Um…” I try to think about the times we went to restaurants and Eric got really excited over the food. “Oh, we were once at a place and he ordered grilled mushrooms and he couldn’t stop moaning, it was very embarrassing, but I guess this meant he really liked it.”

“Grilled mushrooms, perfect,” she nods to herself noting everything down. “Do you mind helping me pick out his gift too? I have a few ideas, I want to go into the city and buy it tomorrow, I already looked up some jumpers online, but I can’t really decide.”

“Sure, show me!”

We spend the next thirty minutes scrolling through everything she had saved as a possible gift. She found some really nice ones, her taste is fantastic. As the time is passing I’m starting to feel like I’m with a friend and not with my brother’s girlfriend and I’m just hoping Eric will keep her around for a long time.

She asks me to stay a little bit longer so she can show me the awkward photos she has taken of Erik since they’ve been dating, but she gets a call and excuses herself quickly. I stay there in the living room, looking around a bit, I haven’t really had the chance yesterday, I was too occupied with the situation.

Shawn walks in, this time he has a headband on, keeping his locks back from his face.

Damn, Maddi is right. He is hot.

I shake my head at the thoughts and try to look as casual as possible.

“How is the birthday planning going?” he asks plopping down on the couch next to me.

“Good, Aaliyah basically had everything right, I just had to choose the best options.”

“How crazy is that our younger siblings are dating? I mean, I was thinking about it yesterday, the last time I saw Eric, he was about twelve or something. No wonder why I didn’t recognize him when I met him,” he chuckles and I nod agreeing. Aaliyah changed a lot in the past years too.

“Yeah. Strange that they are not babies anymore. I mean, I’m still mad that Eric is taller than me.”

“Oh I remember how you always wanted to get taller!”

“You remember?” I ask surprised. I used to never stop talking about my height, later I accepted my fate.

“Yeah, I remember once you told Dylan how you want to wear the highest heels to the dance so you two can be the same height.”

I laugh at the memory. I remember it too, it was quite early in our relationship and Dylan asked me out for the Halloween dance. I wanted to look taller and told Dylan I would wear heels. Of course, I ditched the plan as I found out how uncomfortable they are and ended up wearing my Converse.

“And at the end I looked like a punk princess with my Converse and mini skirt,” I scoff at the thought of my outfit for that night.

“I think you looked pretty,” Shawn says and I look at him. I catch his small smile before he shakes his head clearing his throat. What the Hell? “High school feels so far away, right?” he quickly says.

“Um, well for you I guess, for me… not really,” I chuckle shaking my head. “Your life got turned upside down, but not much has happened to me since then.”

“What? I don’t believe you. I’m sure you’ve been having plenty of fun. Parties, dates and everything.”

I can’t help, a sad smile plasters across my face. He can’t be more wrong.

“Not really… I had some rough years after Dylan and I split.”

“Can I ask what happened? I mean, after the split,” he shyly asks.

“Well, since I was a dumb naïve little girl, I needed an entire year before I could even think about getting to know other guys. Now it all just seems like the biggest bullshit. I shouldn’t have cared that much. And I’m not a fan of partying, I only go out on birthdays and maybe New Year’s Eve,” I shrug. Maddi has been trying to boost me up a bit, she attempts to drag me out every month or so, but I’m really not that kind of type. I thought I was, when I was with Dylan, he was a popular guy, I kept going to these lame parties with him in the last year of our relationship, but I never really enjoyed them. Shawn was long gone by then.

“I’m sorry Dylan played you so bad.”

“It’s fine, I mean, not your fault,” I chuckle. “But what happened to you and him?”

He sighs scratching the back of his neck.

“Not sure, I guess we grew apart and I realized that he is an ass. When I became a private student we kept in touch, but I met new people and I saw how different a friendship can be, so… I cut him off, I guess.”

“Did you guys fight?”

“Not really,” he shakes his head. “Well, we had one last very awkward phone call when I was in Atlanta, if I remember right. It was forced and… just awkward, really,” he chuckles shaking his head.

“And your life has been better since Dylan is out of it, right?” I grin at him.

“Yeah, you must know about it.”

I laugh nodding. I know everything about it!

Before I could even think about what I’m saying, my mouth just opens and the words roll down.

“The only good thing I got from my relationship with Dylan is that I know you now.”

My eyes widen and I wish I could take it back.

“I- uh I mean…”

I don’t even know why I’m so nervous suddenly, I didn’t even tell much. But for some reason, I can feel myself blushing.

“I meant that he basically ruined my senior year and I needed so much time to get myself over him, but at least now we can talk like, normal people,” I quickly add somehow saving the situation.

“What do you mean he ruined your senior year?” he asks with furrowed eyebrows and I’m happy he didn’t get caught up on what I said before that.

“Well, he successfully made me push all my friends away, leaving me totally alone when we broke up.”

“Wait, what? How about that friend of yours, um… I don’t remember her name, you always sat together at lunch.”

“Rochelle. Oh Dylan played us dirty. He told me Rochelle keeps hitting on him and being my dumb naïve self I believed him and not her. We had this huge fight and I called her a bitch. No wonder why she didn’t care about me when I was alone in the last couple of months of senior year.”

“Ouch, that sounds horrible. I’m sorry he did that.”

“Why did we even like Dylan in the first place?” I ask laughing to myself. It still bothers me how blind I was, I wish I could just shake myself.

“I have no idea!” He sighs rolling his eyes. “I’m sorry your senior year got fucked up, I wish I could be there to have lunch with you.”

I turn to him and swear to God he is blushing! And it is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I feel the urge to touch him, anywhere, to take his hand in mine, but I stop myself.

“That’s… nice. Thank you,” I whisper touched.

As I’m staring at him I realize this is probably the closest I’ve ever been to him. I wonder how many girls want to be in my position, they see the popstar, the heartthrob from the stage, while all I see is the guy who used to be mean to me in high school but now we are friendlier than ever. I could never see him as a celebrity.

“Okay, so I found some- Oh am I bothering?” Aaliyah walks into the room with her phone in her hands and she is giving me a knowing look. I quickly clear my throat turning away from Shawn.

“No, you girls just… do your thing. I have to make a few calls.”

Shawn jumps up from the couch patting his sister’s shoulder before walking out of the room. Aaliyah takes his place, still grinning.

“What?” I ask her playing dumb.

“You guys… I felt the sparkle,” she says wiggling her eyebrows.

“What sparkle? Aaliyah, you see everything in pink because of my brother.”

“Oh stop, don’t tell me you don’t like him.”

“I don’t know him,” I say truthfully. “The last time I saw him I was dating a douche and he was also being a douche to me. I can’t tell if I like him, because I don’t know his new self.”

“But you seem to get along with him pretty well and I’m sure you are attracted to him.”

“I’m not talking about this with you, you are his sister!” I gasp feeling myself blushing again.

“Whatever. But I think you two would look cute together.”

I refuse to carry on with the conversation about me and Shawn and Aaliyah fortunately doesn’t force it on me. I leave the Mendes house around five, Aaliyah thanks me the help and I can’t help but feel disappointed I don’t see Shawn anywhere when I’m leaving. Aaliyah’s speech about me and Shawn is slowly getting to me.

By dinner, all my thoughts are racing around him and soon I find myself stalking his social media profiles. I knew he is very famous, but seeing the numbers on his pages makes me gasp. Millions of people are following him, waiting for him to post anything. The last photo he uploaded to his Instagram is with his family, Karen and Manny are smiling proudly into the camera while Shawn and Aaliyah are messing around next to them. Before I could realize what I’m doing I double tap the picture liking it.

“Oh shit,” I suck my breath in. I hesitate, but then I realize how dumb this is. He must be getting millions of notes every minute, he won’t see this.

Gaining some confidence from this, I decide to follow him and continue my stalking session. I’m a few months deep into his profile when I get a notification. Opening the tab my eyes widen.

shawnmendes followed charlieprkr

I guess I was wrong about the notification getting lost. A moment later I see that he has liked two of my photos.

One was taken on a family vacation. Eric and I are posing at the beach, I have a red swimsuit on and the wind is blowing my wavy blonde hair that was so much lighter back than from all the sunshine. The other one is a picture Maddie took of me last month. I’m sitting in our armchair with a mug of tea in my hands, smiling shyly at the camera. We had Christmas lights in the window and the lights made me look colorful in the photo.

I’m just about to put the phone down and go to bed when I get a dm. I’m not surprised to see Shawn’s username, but I definitely get excited.

shawnmendes I’m happy I’m not the first one to accidentally like your photo, though I was minutes away from that haha

I smile at the message rolling my eyes.

charlieprkr Ha. Ha. I was hoping I can easily hide in the millions of your followers.

shawnmendes You could have, if only I weren’t stalking your profile as well. Fate?

charlieprkr I guess.

My fingers linger across the keyboard, trying to think of something else to write and keep the conversation up, but nothing comes to my mind. I almost give up when I get another message from him.

shawnmendes I’m in a nostalgic mood, I want to have a walk in the neighborhood, around our school tomorrow. Would you like to join me?

My smile grows wider than ever reading his lines.

charlieprkr Totally.

shawnmendes Great! Sometime around 4 pm?

charlieprkr Perfect. Where?

shawnmendes I’ll meet you at your house and we’ll go from there.

charlieprkr Then see you tomorrow!

shawnmendes Yeah, good night Charlie.