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harrison-abbott · 11 months ago

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Smile as much as I Could

I taught them the best I could, and I’ll admit that I never wanted to become a teacher … but I tired as much as possible.

There was this one kid who I still think about a lot who was called Robbie. You know when you have somebody that provokes trouble? That was him. His brain was born far too younger than the other kids and far too older at the same time; he was immature and mature all at once and his age didn’t meet the bracket with the other kids.

They were all terrified of him or they saw him as somebody they could mingle trouble with or they avoided him completely. The girls hated him, especially. Which was a contradiction in itself because he was approaching puberty far faster than most and he’d developed an affection for many of them and was learning how to flirt. I was with Robbie for a year and he remains one of my most entertaining pupils. I had him for P4 and so he was eight years old or thereof when I knew him.

Robbie moved off to another teacher in P5 – and during the lunch breaks with the colleagues I would meet up with the other teacher, who now had him, and he would come over to me with his coffee and moan about how much of a nuisance Robbie was. I’d smile as much as I could.

The fact was that I was glad that I had a calmer class with my new class. They were younger (only tots; P2s). I taught only rudimentary English and Maths. Stuff that you only go to primary school for and they were wide eyed things that got through the material if you said it in the right way.

And at Christmas I got these boxes of Chocolates and cards that their parents had bought me and inside the cards there would be messages like BEST TEACHER EVER and YOU’RE THE FUNNIEST TEACHER IN THE SCHOOL and so on. And they gave me a little boost of hope. [I usually didn’t eat the chocolates because I was trying to lose weight at that point. Or I gave them to the other teachers to give to their kids. I didn’t have kids of my own. But that’s a whole other story.]

In the January after the festive break I got back and there came in the second week some bad news about Robbie. A group of P7 boys had beat him up in the playground. And the older boys had all been reprimanded by the school. But Robbie wasn’t content with it and he had began to follow each of them home. And then one of the boys (who had attacked him) had told his mother about it, and the mother had called the police, and the police came to the scene and they stopped Robbie.

They found a knife inside Robbie’s bag. Because he was so young he couldn’t be charged with anything. But they had to pass him on to ‘child services’.

Whatever indeed that authority meant …

And this impeded his school life because he wasn’t allowed to come to school for five weeks. And throughout this period of other a month, there were rumours, spread from the adult word down, into the kids’ playground, where gossip is as treacherous and false as any political lie, international or national, articulate or dumb; the lies proliferate in the playground as fast as any plague or pandemic. They were calling Robbie a ‘psycho’, a ‘stalker’ a ‘creep’. I heard many of the kids in my own class speak about him. In such a manner. And I sensed that something was wrong and hugely exaggerated about this child.

So I asked the headteacher if I could go and speak to her about it. Well, I organised a meeting with her. And sat at her desk.

“I would like to say a few words about Robbie Carson, if I could, please?”

She listened. As I told her that I was concerned that Robbie would face a lot of bullying when he returned to the school. That he was ‘famous’ in a way, for things which he hadn’t done. I told her about the name calling. When she hear me out she sipped her coffee along the way.

“I appreciate your concern, Mr Temple,” she replied, “and thanks for coming along. The board from child services are in liaison with me and they will get back in touch when Robbie is ready to come back.”

“Well. I wanted to make sure that Robbie would have some protection for when he does come back.”

“The child service people will make their analysis. And we can move on from there, after I have read it. Is there anything else you’d like to talk about today? I have another meeting in twenty minutes so I have to rush on.”

I left angrily because I thought that she, as headteacher, was one of the good ones. A moral person, I mean; I didn’t expect her to say what she said during that meeting. And I remember the cool sky blue of her eyes when she delivered the lines. It’s hard, when people say things in a plastic voice, to determine whether they really believe what they are saying, as if there is a plastic mask over their face at the same time, even though you can see their flesh and their lips and nose and the shapes their pupils make when they speak.

So I had to head back to, well, my lunch break that was waiting for me. My humous, cucumber and tomato sandwich.

I ate it in the car because I didn’t want to go into the staff room. The car was parked in the car park, which was 100 metres away from the kids who I could see in the background, swarming about, all dressed in navy blue uniforms. They looked like blue bottle flies. So many people despised them for being young and damageable. When young folks are most vulnerable. Why not try and make them less vulnerable.

With Robbie, I tried as well. And I often feel like I failed. Considering what happened with him in the end.

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lunaekalenda · 3 years ago

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𝖓𝖚𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖎𝖛𝖊

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eren x fem!reader

suggestive conversations, teacher x student mention, smoking, alcohol, mention of love triangle, reiner doesn't have an easy life, characters are aged up and they correspond to the last season, modern au, eren being a tease, nsfw once they get to the party, dirty talking, reader may have a degradation kink, slapping, finger-sucking cause that's my sign, neck grabbing, rough composure, really long fic and really long warnings, size kink, wall sex, consensual relation, reader is tiny next to eren, kneejob (does that exist?), use of words like fucktoy, doll, slut; dom!eren x sub!reader, goddess i’m getting scared bc of the quantity of warnings, unprotected sex (don’t be like eren), oral (m receiving), consensual filming,, author is horny half of the drabble, please correct me in any errors! sex scenes are really bad written sorry

a/n: yeah... i don't know what i'm doing someone pls tell me to stop. as always, very welcome criticism and minors please do not interact!!

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"Jaeger, Eren." The teacher says his name and he gets up, loose clothes and his lazy bun on the back of his head giving him that attractive visual he has. Girls look at him with interest and boys with envy. After all, they all want to be like him, date him, be his friends. Be near him is something to be grateful for half the university students. What a bunch of idiots.

His tall body reaches the professor table, were he leans on, receiving the paper that acredites his graduation. A smirk on his face, directed to your young teacher, makes your friend Pieck sigh on the chair next to you. "He has for sure fucked her." she says. You look to the teacher expression, a smile just for him while he raises just the corners of his lips to her. You look to the paper on your hands. It's your last day. You're finally graduating. University is just another closed door for you. The last people take their diplomas quickly, the teachers giving their typical emotional discourses before releasing you to the campus yard. Reiner gets closer to your group, his arm around your shoulders as he smile for all of you.

"Today. Tonight." he corrects himself. "There's a party and, as the captain of the Waterpolo team, I'm the host." he says, a smile on his lips reaching his kind eyes. "You're all invited, of course. VIP invitations" Winking to all of you and gaining a giggle from Pieck, Reiner moves his head to a whistle. Bertholdt calls him from the door of the swimming pool, and Reiner leaves, smiling at you.

"I'll see you there?" he asks, a huge smile on his face. You can't help but smile back at him while you nod. Reiner leaves running the yard and Porco smiles at you, a joke about to escape his lips. You two have been friends time enough to know every single expression of the other.

"He does like you." he says, instead. Something serious for the first time in your friendship. Someone hits him with a paper when he was about to add something.

"You're finally out." Porco's big brother, Marcel Galliard, who works as the waterpolo trainer, takes his brother by the arm. "And out of the pics if you stay here, come on." He takes Porco with him, both of them leaving in Reiner's direction. Pieck smiles at you, about to comment something about Reiner, and you search your phone. It isn't there. Fuck.

"Pieck, I've lost my phone." you say, her face changing to a concerned expression. You touch every pocket and every place you've could have put it, without gain. Even she searches on the little handbag she's carrying. You remembered to take a pic with Pieck on the terrace and had to fix your shoes. You probably forgot it there. "Shit. Is the Uni still open, right?" Pieck nods quietly. Annie turns around to look at you. "Coming back real quick, wait for me here, please."

You make your way upstairs to the latest floor of the Univeristy, a terrace where teachers liked to go and smoke or drink their coffees between classes. "How can I forget my phone there? Am I dumb?" you think for yourself. There are just a few stairs left. You find Armin on your way. His short blond hair and his big blue eyes are recognizable everywhere.

"Congratulations." he says, that gentle smile on his face. "We finally graduated." You smile at him back, nodding.

"We did, Min." you say. Armin was in the same class as you, and he's really nice to you. Being paired in a couple works has made your friendship grow little by little, and you can consider him a friend now. It's ironical how he's Eren's best friend, even when the two of them have been seen parted for a while. He looks at you, his eyes following your way. "You go to the terrace?" he asks. You nod. He hums and looks upstairs, as if he was making sure something.

"Forgot something there, but it will take a minute." Armin nods and you keep going. Opening the big door, that is casually still open, the wind shakes your hair and your dress. You see your phone on the chair you sat earlier, while taking the pic, and you're fast to take it. Fortunately, it does have battery and it seems as nobody has touched it. You turn around, ready to go down to meet your friends, when you listen femenine giggles and sound of wet kisses. Gross. Is somebody using the rooftop to fuck? In the university? You shake your head. But your legs don't move. Your head searches unconsciously the place where the voices are coming from. You want to know who they are. Another giggle. Another kiss. A quiet sigh, the sound of fabrics. "Come on, move, move." You say to yourself. The woman speaks. "Now that you graduated..." Isn't that your teachers voice? With a student? You remain silent, trying to hear him. You hear a sigh. A manly and long sigh.

"Now that I graduated I have no reason to come here." You know that voice. That deep, raspy tone and that way of talking. Your brain searches quickly who does that voice belong to.

"Come on, Eren." even when you where about to figure who was the mysterious boy, she says his name. You move your hand to cover your mouth, your phone ringing in that moment. Pieck's ID showing on the screen. "Fuck, fuck." you try to silence it in vain. They heard you. Eren sighs, a long sigh that is followed by high heels steps. She's searching you. You're there, on the middle of the rooftop, and she's going around, near the door, no way to escape for you. You search quickly a place to hide. Then, he talks again. "They probably left, hm?" he says. His tone is way deeper now. "But we should as well. Search another student next year. I won't come back here for you." he says. With angry steps, she leaves. You can see her shadow from behind the little maintenance shed. You hear then calm steps, a lighter and the combustion of a cigarette. Eren palms the shed metallic roof, scaring you.

"Having fun spying the others?" he says. The smoke comes out of his mouth when he kneels next to you. "I can bet you're wet with just hearing us making out." you look at him in his green eyes, without avoiding his gaze. He raises a brow, putting the cigarette again between his lips.

"This is a public space. It isn't for you to bring every single girl you want." you say. Eren lets out a little laugh.

"I had the teacher's permission." he says, jokingly. "Who do you think you are to question her permissions?" his lips part, letting the smoke escape quietly. He gets up, his tall body resting against the structure. He's attractive, and he knows it for sure. But, the moment he opens that damn mouth of his... He loses all his attractiveness and charm. You take your phone, ready to go down with your friends.

"I hope you have a good future, Eren Jaeger. See you."

"Later, baby. On Reiner's party." he says, a little smile on his lips. "I guess he had invited the girl he likes." you didn’t like that joking tone.

"And why the hell would he invite you?" you ask. Eren slides his eyes down your body when you get up, your light dress moving with the wind, your hair getting messy and your challenging eyes looking directly at his. He entertains himself on your legs, how they looked smooth and good under the dress. And, surprisingly, he finds himself thinking of the sweet thing upper, covered by the dress and your underwear.

"Because I'm on his waterpolo team." he says, his green irises going back to yours. Damn, true. He’s the point of the team. The offensive. The strongest one between them.

"Then I hope we don't see each other." you say. Eren gets closer to you, smoke leaving his lips while he smiles jokingly at you again. You can smell the tobacco from your position, but you don’t want to move. You want to show him you can also keep his gaze. That you’re not intimidated by him.

"I'll be searching for you." he whispers. "After all, you stayed up here to see who I was making out with. Maybe you're jealous. But don't worry, i'll gladly show you what I did to her" You raise a brow this time, giving a couple steps back to put distance. You cross your arms on your chest. Eren smiles, taking the cigarette away from his lips.

"Search another girl. I'm sure a lot of them want your attention." you say. That makes Eren smirk. He walks a couple steps back, his back resting against the shed again. He throws the cigarette and steps on it.

"You have a strong personality, not like all the others. I like it." his eyes are on yours, and you're not afraid to keep the visual contact with him. "You're different." he says. You take a couple steps near him, heading to the door. Palming his shoulder, you smile.

"Good job reading all that cliche books where you took that phrase. Now, I have to go." his hand grips your wrist. With a shake, you get free and, false smiling at him, you leave. Your heart is racing while you go downstairs, Eren is still on the terrace, giggling for himself. He found such an interesting one. You keep going downstairs until you reach the yard, Pieck's black hair and Annie's bun can be seen. You walk towards them, your phone ringing on your hand. It's Pieck again. She sees you a hangs up, walking towards you.

"You took forever, y/n" she says, showing you her phone. "I calles you a hundred times. What were you doing?" she asks. You don't want to discover the teacher and Eren and less on the campus. "I'll tell you later." you say. Pieck told you to have dinner and get ready for the party at her home, so the two of you start to walk, waving your hands at Annie, who was waiting for Armin. Eren comes out of the university as well. His gaze finds yours and he smiles at you, but it isn't a sweet smile. It’s a teasing one. You turn around and follow Pieck.

"Eren? I told you those two had something!" she says. You're tying your shoes while she applies rimmel on her lashes. She looks beautiful, with that golden tight dress that shines when she moves. You wanted to go with your graduation dress, but she quickly corrected you. "No, no, that dress is too beautiful for this type of party. You have to show what you have." she said. She lended you a red dress that fits you. It is beautiful, and you look good on it. She turns around. "Were they in the middle of it? What happened!" she asks. You blush.

"They were just kissing, i think. They kinda broke up." you say. Pieck nods quietly and looks again to the mirror, taking blush to her cheeks. You explain her that Eren talked to you after that.

"Oh, so he's going to the party?" she asks. You nod. "Porco told me he wasn't that interested, so he'll probably pass." You really hope Porco is right while you two walk to Reiner's house, a big duplex near the campus. You can hear music and people talking from the corner of the street. Reiner opens the door for you.

"Y/N!" he says, quickly hugging you. Pieck waves her hand at him. "Come on, girls, enter." he lets you in. There isn't a huge amount of people. Jean and Connie from the Waterpolo club are playing beer pong and Bertholdt is serving some drinks. You look around, but you don't know if you want to find him or make sure he isn't there.

It seems like Eren isn't there, for your luck. Bert gives you the drink you asked for and you thank him. There's a couple people talking near a speaker, another ones are playing on Reiner's TV and another ones are dancing. Reiner smiles.

"If you need anything, the rooms and the living room are up. There's a bathroom in that door and another one upstairs." he says. You smile at him. "I'll be around here if you need me." he says. You nod and he disappears, giving your arm a soft squeeze. Pieck tells you that she's going outside and you decide to stay inside. The juice with a little bit of vodka is kinda strong, but it tastes sweet. You hear a hum near you.

"What are you drinking?" you roll your eyes, turning around. Eren's tall body is there, smiling at you. He looks into your cup. "Juice?" he asks. You raise a brow.

"Do you care?" he lets out a melodious laugh. "Don't you have friends?" you can almost feel all the gazes in you. Envy gazes, surprise gazes. You know they're commenting. "How did she get his attention?" "Sure he's playing with some bad toys" You look at Eren.

"I do. But my interest tonight is in you." he tells. "After all, you deserve private representations of what we were doing, since you were that curious."

"Get lost, please." you ask him. He smirks. Taking your cup, he smells it. He gives it back to you.

"Don't drink that much." he says. You look at him. Is he now giving you orders? Taking the cup to your lips, you drink under his gaze. He raises a brow when you take the cup away from your mouth. You weren’t going to get orders and less form a dork like him. Surprisingly, his thumb takes a drop that slides from your lips. He licks it.

"Tastes sweet." it's all he says, before disappearing. Did he just licked it? You put the cup on a near table and follow him outside. He's lighting a cigarette. He smiles at you when you arrive.

"What was that. What you did inside." you ask. He laughs.

"We can't waste alcohol, can we?" he says. He walks closer to you. His bun is still low and loose, and he's wearing his waterpolo team t-shirt with ripped black jeans. A big 5 in his t-shirt. The number he uses on the water. "Do you smoke?" he asks, offering you the cigarette. You shake your head. He raises a brow. "Wanna try?" he asks. You're not into that type of things but, maybe, the way his green eyes challenged you makes you nod. You want to show him you're capable. He gives you the cigarette. "Want me to teach you?" When he ended the phrase, you're coughing. He laughs. "Such an impatient girl, hm?"

He takes the cigarette again, taking a puff, his lips right on the spot you stained with gloss. He gets closer. "Let me show you." his lips touch yours quietly and you feel the smoke flowing between your mouths, entering yours. You’re unable to move, even when he’s kissing you. It feels nice, feels warm and soft against your mouth, the smoke entering right from his parted lips. You want more. More of him. He parts. "Breath out quietly." Why are you following his orders now? You do it softly, his gaze on your lips while you do it. "Good girl."

That was hot. You can't deny it. The way he passed the smoke to you, how he looked at you. Oh, goddess. He smiles, stepping on the cigarette. Your legs feel like jelly and your heart races when he gets closer.

"You liked it?" he asks, a sweet purr on your ear. You nod. You did. Now you get why everyone is always around Eren. He's naturally magnetic, attractive. He’s the type of person that bewitches, that makes you follow his orders even when you don’t want you. He can make you weak for you from just a single peck. "I know more tricks with my mouth than passing smoke" he says. That makes you cringe a little, get down of your bubble.

"You're so dirty minded." You say. Maybe he was starting to attract you, to make you fall for him. You won't. You need to go out. Far from him. Far before you fall.

"I was starting to have fun." he whispers. You start to walk, heading to Reiner's house again. Eren follows you quietly. You've seen enough romantic films to know every single way he has to take you to his bed. You sigh. Inside, a lot of people is dancing. You also want to. Eren follows you quietly while you enter the improvised dance floor, a empty space between two sofas, moving to the song. It's hot inside Reiner's house, a stupid amount of people dancing together, bodies close and teasing movements. Maybe Eren tries to seduce you outside, but it is your time to make him beg for you. Moving your head and your body, you see him from th corner of your eye. He's there, behind you, his hands tingling. He wants to touch your body, that tiny red dress and that velvety skin. He wants to mark that exposed neck with his bites, tangle that hair with his fingers, feel you against him. You take one of his hands, putting it on your hips. He swallows.

"You're not that brave now." you whisper, without letting him hear you. His other hand finds your belly, going up to the low cut of Pieck's dress. His hand touches your skin, making you gasp. He gets close. "You won." he whispers on your ear, his hands sneaking, touching every showing skin he finds. You smirk, turning around. You're not aware of Reiner's sad gaze. "I won?" you ask. He smiles, his face getting closer, as if he wanted to kiss you. "Hmh." he hums. You smile at him, letting your body meet his really close, making you feel every part of Eren’s body. You raise a brow. "There's evidence of my win." you joke, Eren's lips curving on a teasing smile.

"You should take responsibility of your trophy." he feels your hands on his arms, making him sigh. He takes your hand and guides you upstairs. "Wait, Eren, wait!" you ask him. People look at you, going head to the second floor, your hand jailed on his. Almost everybody knows now what you two are going to do. "Eren, everybody will..."

"Let them talk. We can have a good time while they spend their last braincells making rumors." he says. He's kinda right. You shouldn't care of what people say or what people think. "But it is Reiner's house." you tell him. He smiles.

"He lets me use the guest room to sleep. It's almost my room. My brother doesn't really like my company, I guess." he says. You feel bad for Reiner. He's such a sweetheart with you, and everybody thinks he likes you. And there are you, about to make out with Eren on his house. But you're drunk of him, of his smell and his skin, his deep voice and his green eyes. You can't help. You need him. He opens the room and lets you in. You don't have even time to see the room, feeling his lips on yours as soon as he closes the door, his hand sneaking behind your back to lock it. One of his arms rest above your head, against the wood, and the other pulls you closer to his body from your low back. His hand grabs your ass roughly, making you jump a little. He giggles against your mouth. His lips taste like tobacco and mint bubblegum. He parts.

"Are you drunk?" he asks. You shake your head. You take his hair on your hand, trying to make him cover your mouth again with his. He gives you a peck. "You want this?" he asks. Your hands search his chest, defined muscles under the team t-shirt.

"I want you, Eren." you don't even know who you are. He has you crazy, begging for him and his kisses, feeling his hotness in your body. You want it. You want him. "Please.". His superiority smirk covers your lips again, your body arching to feel his closer, the grip on you harder, his other hand still on the door. He parts your lips quietly, the softer action of all he has done until now. You feel his tongue caressing yours quietly. It feels nice. His hand takes the border of your red dress, lifting it, asking for your consent. You nod at him, his hand moving it to your waist. He parts to look down, your underwear on his vision camp. He passes his tongue on his lips while his eyes scan that cute black panty you’re wearing. He likes it. Simple, something a cute innocent girl like you would wear. The thought arouses him. He’s going to ruin you, the sweet little girl that seems too tiny for him.

“What a precious panty, doll.” he hums, his knee going up until it meets the black fabric. Then, with a smirk, he makes pressure up, your body feeling his knee hot and hard against your wetness. You gasp and he smiles. “Such a desperate fucktoy.” he whispers, his lips near your open ones, your sighs every time he moves his knee against you. He likes that expression on your face. The way your cute lips are open in silent pleasure signs. He would love to watch them open around another thing, but he takes his free hand to your mouth, his long thumb caressing your lips before entering your mouth, pressing your tongue while you keep making that expression that has become his favorite. “Suck.” he asks. You obey, your mouth gently sucking his thumb, your tongue playing circles around it. He keeps that game on your cunt, making you lose your concentration on sucking his finger. He puts his knee down, you feel the emptiness between your legs. He takes his phone, tobacco pack and a lighter from his pocket, putting them on the near bed. Then, he takes your hands, guiding them to the fabric of his jeans. You understand what he wants and take the button off, then, unzipping his pants. They fall around his ankles, his muscled legs and his underwear is revealed. He sighs when your hand finds the bulge. You look at him again, spreading kisses on his jaw. His hand covers yours while you try to sneak it in his underwear. He sighs when he feels your cold hand against him, fine and elegant fingers taking his shaft softly. His head rests against the arm on the wall, your kisses going down his body. When you were about to kneel, he takes you up again.

“I’ll let you take a taste of it later.” he sighs again, your hand squeezing harder, making him gasp. His hand closes around your neck, not hard enough to choke you, just a grab. A way to make you know who’s in charge. He kisses you. “Now.” he says, out of breath. His fingers take your panty, sliding it down your legs. He looks at your half- naked body, the dress covering just your thorax. “I want to fuck you right”. He takes your body, pinning you against the wall, your legs around his waist and your hands gripped to his t-shirt. He takes his hand down, the other one holding you in place. His hand strokes his shaft a couple times, also making sure you’re ready enough to take him, before starting to put it in. He feels excited. How your body seems so little between his and the wall. How you’ll struggle to take all of him in. His cock twitch in anticipation. He can’t wait to be deep in you, to know how much of him can you take, but he wants to make it right. Make this something you’ll beg for. Make him feel superior. He pushes slowly, feeling every squeeze and every movement your walls make against him. You moan and he lets out the deepest groan. He doesn’t wait that much to move against you, even when he’s not fully inside, your lips parting to the sensation of him caressing your insides. He puts you against the wall, making the hold easier for him. He thrusts into you with such a power and strength that you feel your head dizzy. He keeps moving, lewd sounds and mixed heavy breaths leaving your mouths. He feels how he’s going deeper and deeper. He smirks.

“That’s it. You’re taking it so good, like the cockslut you are. You struggled to take all of me in that little cunt, all stuffed by me. Such a doll, hm?” he says, out of breath. You nod while he keeps moving against you, you hand taking his hair as his mouth bites your neck. “You were a brat this morning, a fucking tease, but now you’re behaving like a good girl.” he whispers, before bitting you again. One of his hands sneak to the part you two are connected, and he caresses you gently, his fingers knowing perfectly were to touch. You gasp. “You like it, don’t you?”. Your back starts to hurt a little, the wood door is too hard to be resting against. Eren doesn’t mind, his muscles flexed while he keeps moving you up and down his length. “You’re about to, hm?” he asks. “You’re squeezing me. Hard.” He groans. It's true, you're feeling it as well, the knot on your belly that announces your end, pleasure maximized by Eren’s fingers. His lips cover yours, a strand of spit connecting your mouth when he parts, your mind unable to make a coherent sentence. You take your hands to his back, helping him with your movements, reaching your end faster. He isn’t going to edge you. He feels merciful today. He’ll let you cum after all you did for him, after how good you’re squeezing him, after the pretty expressions you made. You fall on his arms with a long sigh, juices dripping down the two of you as you keep shaking on his arms. He smirks. "Oi, you came really hard." He puts you down on the floor again, quietly sliding out of you. He's still as hard as he was. "I'm that good at it?" he asks. Then, he grabs your jaw, making you look at him. "Or maybe you're just a slut for me?"

You blush. You did. He knew where to bite, where to touch and where to thrust. You couldn't help, he’s good at this. He pats your head softly. "Now, in reward, since you didn't wait for me, you could use that pretty little mouth you used to tease me this morning in something more interesting, hm?" he asks. You know what he's asking for. Before you kneel, he sits on the bed, tying his hair again while a cigarette hangs from his lips. Then, he pushes softly by your shoulders. You hear him inhaling the smoke. Taking his phone, he makes you look at him, pulling your jaw quietly. “Do you mind if i film you?” You shake your head. Filming is quite interesting, and hot, definitely hot. “Promise me that those videos will never leave your phone”. He smiles, a soft and genuine smile, offering you his hand. You shake it.

“Promise.”

The image is quite hot, your face resting in his tight and your hands caressing him, while his parted lips let go moans mixed with smoke. He takes two fingers to your mouth, the other hand taking the phone. He films your hands, your expression, his words.

"You look pretty with your mouth full of my fingers, but I prefer another thing, doll." he says, quietly pushing your head, making an intrusion in your mouth. He sighs. "Fuck. Show the camera, pretty." You try to wipe the tears away and he caresses your jaw, making you look to the phone filming you. “Show it how you suck me.” You think about him, watching this video in the loneliness of his dormitory, no light, his hand sneaking into his pants. "Do it alright and we'll be done in a second." he says, taking a puff again. He smokes too much for your preference. His fingers, still full of your saliva, impact against your ass. "Faster, doll." he asks. Slap again. Again. You feel your skin tingling under his slaps, hot and red. "I would also like to ruin that pretty ass you have." He grabs it this time, the camera pointing at his big hand squeezing your buttock. You keep sucking under his sighs and gasps, helping yourself with your hand. He smiles. "That's it, I'm already." he moves his hips against you, strong enough to make you feel it. Tears come again to the corners of your eyes as he keeps moving, stronger, the camera pointing everywhere while he loses himself. "You want it? Should I let you have it on your mouth? Or maybe on your pretty face?" he gasps at the thought of your face full of his seed, and maybe that's what makes him pull it out and paint you. With a final sigh, Eren pauses the video, putting out the cigarette against an ashtray. You rest again near his legs as he looks at you. His hands grab your neck again, making you sit on his lap. “You should clean that mess. Don’t want everybody to know how much of a slut you are for me.” he says, his fingers outlining your lips. “And I’ll keep this.” he says, taking the panties he throw away earlier. “You know where to find me if you wanna get them back. Or maybe give me new ones.”

#aot smut #aot x reader #snk smut #snk x reader #eren smut #eren yeager smut #eren jaeger smut #eren x fem!reader #eren x reader #eren x y/n #eren x you #eren jaeger x reader

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whimsicallyreading · 3 years ago

Text

For Day 29 of Rowaelin Month

“A song fic-“

The song- “Always Been You” by Quinn XCII

CW- Mentions of miscarriage and divorce

"I can't believe you right now."

Rowan looks at his wife in frustration. She's sitting at the end of their bed, staring listlessly at the wall. The skirt of the red dress she's wearing is wrinkled, and his heart aches when he notices the mascara marks on her cheeks.

"Aelin," Rowan tries again to reach for her, but she leans away from his grasp.

"No, Rowan. I'm done."

Rowan takes a long swing from the beer in front of him. The time on his phone alerts him that he's spent most of the evening sulking at his bar.

The guys had invited him to dinner, but Rowan hadn't felt like going in light of his current situation. Instead, choosing to meander to the shady little pub they'd passed by coming from the airport.

His lawyer had sent him numerous emails. Documents to sign, agreements to approve, and papers he needed to read through before sending them to the judge.

Divorce was a pain, and Aelin wasn't making it easy.

"Hey, bud. I thought I might find you here." Fenrys slides onto the barstool next to his.

Rowan sighs and rubs the lines forming on his forehead. "Well, I thought it was obvious I didn't want company."

"Too bad. Drinking alone isn't a good look on you." Fenrys raises a hand and motions for another round of beers. "How are things going with ya know?"

"Shitty. She's never paid a dime of rent on that apartment, but she wants the lease signed into her name and for me to front the first four months of rent." Rowan cracks a peanut between his finger. He has no intent to eat the growing pile in front of him. He just craved the satisfaction of breaking something.

"Well, have you talked to her about that?" Fenrys frowns in sympathy, knowing how equally attached both parties were to the little rental.

Rowan laughs mirthlessly. "No, she said that it was better if our conversations were mediated. I always knew Aelin was catty, but she's acting like such a-"

"Don't." Fenrys gives Rowan a severe look. "I know you are upset, but don't start saying shit you'll regret."

Rowan pauses and reluctantly nods his agreement. It's the alcohol talking. He knew the problems that had festered his marriage were predominantly his responsibility.

He takes a deep breath, but a heaviness seems to keep the air from reaching his lungs fully. The weight was slowly becoming too familiar, starting the day Aelin had presented him with the papers.

Rowan wishes he'd done more. Wishes he'd paid more attention and seen the signs of Aelin's unhappiness.

The day Aelin had broken down in their bedroom had been a cold wake-up call but by then? It was already too late.

"You missed our anniversary Rowan." Aelin shouts and pulls her heels off angrily.

Rowan picks up a shoe and tries to hand it back to her. "I know. I'm sorry. It's not too late, though. We can still go out? There's still time to salvage-"

Aelin turns away from him and seems to fold in on herself. Rowan wants to reach out. He wants to hold her, but something dark is building in the air.

"I don't want your leftovers, Rowan," Aelin whispers. "That's all I get anymore—your leftover time. Your leftover attention. Whatever leftover resentment you bring home from work."

"Aelin-" he tries to cut off her depressive spiral, but she's not finished.

"You used to call me during the day." Aelin's voice cracks, and he realizes she's crying. "Every day, you would call me on your break. Now you don't even call when you leave town."

"Baby, just listen to me." He puts his hands on her shoulders, but Aelin breaks his grasp to turn around and look at him.

"Is there someone else?" Her eyes are wide and vulnerable. So unlike his regular Aelin."

"What?" His brain is struggling even to formulate a reply. Rowan's lack of response only causes Aelin to worry more.

Something in her cracks. There's a quiver to her lips, and her face drains of color. "Oh. Oh no."

"Aelin. I swear there is no one else." Rowan finally says, but it's too late.

"Is," Aelin presses the heels of her hands against her eyes. "Is it because I lost the baby?" She sucks in a hiccupping breath. "You've always wanted kids. So did I, but my fucking body doesn't work."

Aelin closes her eyes, and Rowan knows she's speaking more to herself than him, but her words gut him just the same. "My body doesn't work right. I keep giving us false hopes and wasting money on pregnancy tests. Of course, you would look for a woman who can give you what you want."

He's surprised by the sudden flare of anger in him. "Don't put words in my mouth. That will never be your fault."

They'd known right from the start their journey to parenthood would be a long one. Aelin had a family history of complicated fertility. It had seemed so trivial when they got married. Yet even knowing there could be issues, nothing quite prepared them for the pain of a miscarriage.

Aelin sniffles, unable to force back her grief, "But you resent me. Don't you?"

Rowan doesn't reply.

"It's rough," Rowan admits out loud. "I let a lot get left unsaid. I was hurt and pushed her away. Now she won't even speak to me without a lawyer present."

Fenrys nods, "It's all probably for the best. Once this is over, you guys can put this drama behind you."

"I wish it were that easy," Rowan knocks back the rest of his beer. He grimaces at the drink. It's not taking hold quickly enough.

Fenrys raises an eyebrow. "You both will be able to shut the book on this chapter of your lives and move on? Considering how bloody you two have been fighting, it sounds ideal."

They sit in silence. Fenrys takes the peanut basket away from Rowan and picks at the shells. The bartender comes by, and disgruntledly eyes Rowan's pile of crumbs as he orders a whiskey neat.

Fen was like his little brother, but Rowan found it hard to admit his real problem to him aloud. "I still love her."

The basket goes flying over the side of the counter, and Fenrys chokes on his beer. "What?"

Rowan can't look him in the eye, "We lost a baby. It was early. Aelin didn't want to tell everyone. Three years we tried to get pregnant, and finally, a test comes back positive. She was so happy."

"Shit," Fenrys says quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"It was there, and then it was gone. I thought Aelin was fine. She cried for a week, but then it was like a switch flipped, and she was back to normal." Rowan clenches a napkin in his fist. "I was devastated. It hurt like hell, but I didn't want to send her back into a depression." Rowan shakes his head at how stupid he'd been. "So I put some distance between us. I didn't want her to think I was upset with her."

"I didn't feel better," Rowan sips the whiskey, relishing the warmth. "It made me mad that she got over it so quickly, and I couldn't. I didn't realize that I was growing that space between us. I didn't understand how much guilt she harbored and that she tried to be strong for me. Not until she broke."

"We fought. I said all the wrong things. Aelin couldn't take it anymore, she left, and I didn't stop her." Rowan leans his head on his hands and elbows against the counter. "She's the love of my life, and I watched her walk out the door."

Fenrys sucks in a breath and sighs. "You are my best friend, and I mean this in the most loving way possible. Why the hell are you here?"

"What?" Rowan looks at Fenrys annoyed face.

"Get out of here. Go. I'll tell the boss you have ebola or some shit." Fenrys fishes his wallet out and throws cash on the bar. "I'll even cover the tab. Just leave. Now."

"What? I don't understand?"

Fenrys looks at Rowan like he's stupid. "No offense, but you are about as interesting as a brick wall. The fact you caught a girl like Aelin is astonishing. If you love her, are you honestly going to let her go on being miserable?"

"She's not miserable," Rowan scoffs.

Fenrys laughs bitterly. "You forget I'm pals with Aedion too? Aelin winds up at his house almost every evening crying her eyes out. You two are still hopelessly in love. You're just dumb and badly in need of a good conversation."

"Aelin is upset?" A sense of disbelief washes over him.

"Yes! She misses you, but she's under the impression you are off sleeping around." His face saddens. "I told Aedion you weren't. He knows I go on all of these trips with you. Aelin's just upset you're gone and needs to believe in something that can help her let go."

Rowan stands up, swaying. "I have to go."

"Hell yeah, you do. Give Aelin my love," Fenrys waves as Rowan vates the bar like a hawk out of hell.

Aelin sets the stack of papers in front of him.

Rowan had been camping out in his office ever since there disaster of an anniversary. He'd texted a few times, but every time they talked, it was like relighting a fuze. Things weren't getting better.

"What are these?" Rowan asks without looking up from his screen.

"Your ticket to freedom," Aelin sits in the chair across from him.

She looks thin, thinner than she did when Arobynn was her foster father. It physically hurts Rowan that he's causing her that kind of stress. Glancing at the papers, she slapped in front of him. His blood becomes like an ice river through his body. "Aelin-"

"I'm not the one for you. That's apparent now. I won't hold you hostage in a marriage that you aren't happy in." Aelin blinks, and a tear slides down her face. He wants to wipe it away, but he's beyond angry. She was giving up on them.

"If this is what you want," Rowan slides the papers towards him and pulls out a pen.

Rowan is racing the familiar paths to their apartment. He doesn't care that it's almost four in the morning. The plane ride between Perranth and Ornyth is mercifully short, but he can't force himself to wait another minute.

"Aelin," he yells through their door. "Baby, answer me. Open the door."

Rowan's fists tap a consistent rhythm on the door, and his heart skips a beat when a bedraggled Aelin finally appears. "Rowan, do you know what time it is?"

She's in a pair of grey flannel pajamas, not one of her usual silky numbers. Aelin's eyes are red around the edges, and her face is still dewy from the excessive amount of lotion he knows she loves to put on. Rowan knows all of her routines. All of her favorite outfits, comfort movies, and best memories. He knows the scar she has on her left hand from an abusive foster father. Rowan remembers how the bridge of her nose wrinkles when she's upset in the same spot her cousin's does.

He knows everything about her, because not only were they husband and wife, they were best friends.

How could he have let that go?

Before Aelin can ask any more questions, Rowan has swept her into his arms. "I missed you so damn much."

"Rowan, have you been drinking?" Aelin asks in a voice cracked with emotion.

His hands are running up her back, and his knows burrows into her hair. He's always loved the smell of her jasmine shampoo. "Fireheart, I never resented you for losing the baby."

"Rowan, I don't want to talk about this," Aelin tries to push him away, but he squeezes her into his chest, and she melts.

That had been his mistake. He should have held Aelik like this and never let her go on pretending to be happy. How could he know everything about this woman and not have seen past her facade? She'd suffered. His own pain had blinded him.

"Aelin, I've made so many mistakes lately." Rowan rubs the back of Aelin's neck the way she likes, and he can feel the sobs starting to build up inside of her. "But the greatest shame of my life is not being there for you when you needed me. I was stupid, Fireheart. I'm not going to be stupid any longer. This separation can't go on, we aren't any happier for it, and I can't live knowing I'm away from the other half of my soul."

Aelin cracks, and he can feel the tears wetting the front of his shoulder. "You were never home. I thought there was someone else, someone who could give you the things you wanted because I can't."

Her whole form is shuddering his arms, and Rowan squeezes tighter as if he can hold her broken pieces together. "It's always been you. I don't care if we adopt or never have any kids at all. All I need is you, baby. You are all I've ever needed."

Suddenly, hands are in Rowan's hair as Aelin crushes their lips together. The kiss is frantic, a relief of the stress they'd carried upon their shoulders.

"I missed you too," Aelin whispers in between kisses. “Gods I mussed you so much.”

The rest of their night is filled with soothing words, frantic kissing, and murmured apologies. Rowan kisses the tears from her cheeks and Aelin looks into his eyes like she’s home. Nail dig into skin as they promise never to be apart again.

For the first time in months they sleep in the same bed. Rowan sinks into a deep restful sleep with his wife in his arms once more. He loves the way her cold toes search out his heat. How Aelin fits so perfectly against his chest. When he wakes up and she’s still there, his heart nearly features from relief.

After months of pain, it's the beginning of their walk towards healing.

The days after aren't perfect. They had legal issues to sort back out, more problems to lay bare to the sunlight. There was arguing, but it lacked actual heat, and they didn't walk away feeling unloved at the end. No longer did they fight to land barbs. Their bickering now served to work towards solutions and to express needs.

Between struggles, the love began to grow back. Rowan kept his job at work, and when he was home, it was about them. He started calling her on his breaks again, and it always astonished him how much he missed the sound of her voice. They both strived to communicate their feelings better and actually listen instead of reacting.

Aelin surprised him with romantic dates, and Rowan read pages of her favorite books to her at night. They danced in the kitchen and laughed at their favorite shows.

Fixing their marriage was hard work, but Rowan and Aelin didn't mind. The separation proved that neither of them wanted a life without the other. It was to whatever end, and they wouldn't accept anything less for them.

On one Sunday morning, Rowan opens his eyes and realizes that Aelin isn't on her side of the bed. Panic surges in him, and he looks around to make sure her things are still there.

They are, and the tension eases from his shoulders until he hears soft crying from the bathroom. Darting out of bed, he grabs Aelin's bathrobe and knocks on their bathroom door. "Aelin, what's wrong?"

Had he screwed something up? Was she sick?

The lock clicks, granting him silent permission for him to come inside. Rowan pushes the door open and finds Aelin crying on the side of the tup. With gentle hands, he wraps her robe around her and throws an arm over her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Aelin looks up at him, a radiant smile on her face. "Look."

Rowan glances down to her clenched fists and-

He blinks, once, twice. Aelin laughs at his dumbfounded face, and it breaks his paralysis. Rowan grabs her around the waist and spins her around the cramped bathroom, the positive pregnancy test clattering to the floor.

Aelin's arms wrap around his neck. The emotion in the room is raw and bittersweet, but there's a hopefulness that can't be denied. Rowan holds her tight as they process the news. When they break apart, the love between them is palpable. They had another shot at this, a fresh start.

Hards times would come and go, but good days were never far behind for them. Because for Aelin and Rowan, it's always been them.

And that's all they needed.

#throne of glass #rowaelin #fanfic #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowaelinmonth #angst #tog #sjmaas #throne of glass fanfiction #song fic #rowan x aelin #fenrys #day 29

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snvw · 4 years ago

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𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘. ━━ ❦ caliban, the prince of hell.

𝐀/𝐍— ❦ hi! this is my first caliban imagine in almost over a year n omg it feels so amazin writing for my baby again... hope y’all like this. also, i changed the request just the tiniest bit... there is fluff, but it also got a lil dirty in some parts? sorry, anon! anyways, please reblog, like n share if you enjoyed this lil thing. also, feedback is very much appreciated! thank you for reading.♡

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓— ❦ ANON ASKED; Can I please request a Caliban imagine where the reader (female) is mortal but he’s superrrr whipped for her and calls her “my lady” and keeps saying how much he loves her and is just really sweet to the reader??? Thank you. Xx // also, you may send in a request(s) here.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘— ❦ caliban, the prince of hell, is totally whipped for his girl, you.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆— ❦ caliban x fem!reader.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒— ❦ 18+! slut shaming! fluff n mentions of sexual themes! adult language! & any grammatical mistakes are my own!

𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵.

♡࿐ Caliban was in love. No, scratch that. He was so fucking in love, it hurt. The whole ‘love’ thing was new to him, like a foreign language one was just beginning to learn. Once he started feeling this strange emotion, it was like he became a whole new person. In his eyes, he saw himself as a better, new and improved version of himself.

Caliban always thought love to be a weakness, that he didn’t need it or that he felt it wasn’t worth his time. But with you, it was different. It felt different. Because of you, he was in love. Happily so, might I add. The two of you have only been dating for a little less than a year, but unholy Satan, it felt like decades had passed. It was like the two of you knew each other for centuries.

In all honesty, Caliban thought he would’ve been alone for all of eternity, which at the time, he was perfectly content with the thought of that. At least, before you – he was used to bringing whores to his bed chambers every night. Whilst he enjoyed himself most of the time, when he grew bored and had no more desire for said whore any longer – he’d either toss them aside, or kill them.

Although, now was different... All because of you. Speaking of you, Caliban had just finished ordering one of his most trusted followers to bring you to his chambers – and shall there be even a single scratch on you, he’d tear them apart limb by limb and watch with glee as their souls burned in the pits of Hell. “My Lord, as you requested, here is Lady –“

“Yes, yes – Beelzebub, you may go. Now.” Caliban commanded carelessly, looking up to see you stepping around Beelzebub cautiously, your eyes lighting up at the sight of him. Caliban smirked, standing up from the leather chair he was resting on, tossing the book he was reading aside and rushing towards you, wrapping you in his strong arms. Beelzebub bowed respectfully, but not before throwing you a disgusted look on his way out, the large wooden doors slamming shut behind him.

“Caliban,” you greeted, your heartbeat starting to race. You felt like a lovesick fool. “I – I can’t believe..why d-did you...?” you stuttered, craning your neck back to look up at the handsome Prince. “I can’t believe you sent one of the Plague Kings to come and get me,” you gasped, sounding like you were trying to keep that information strictly a secret. “You know I’m not supposed to be down here and what if –“

Caliban smiled down at you, quickly silencing your worried ramblings as he bent his knees down slightly to press his lips against yours, both of his hands reaching up to cup your face, your lips meeting in a frenzied, passionate kiss. You practically whimpered into the kiss, parting your lips as you felt your boyfriends tongue run across your bottom lip, knowing what he sought out for. Once your lips parted, Caliban wasted no time in slipping his warm tongue inside of your mouth, tasting you and groaning at how sweet you tasted, both of his thumbs lovingly stroking each of your warmed cheeks as he kissed you senseless.

“I missed you,” Caliban groaned into the kiss roughly, suggestively grinding his hips into your pelvis. You giggled in response, running your tongue along his, your teeth slightly clashing together with his, but neither of you cared enough to stop. You two could never get enough of each other – ever.

Your hands ran up to tangle themselves into his dirty blond hair, digging your fingernails into his scalp, causing him to hiss in pleasure. “I missed you more,” you breathed, before opening your mouth wider for him, feeling Caliban’s tongue run over the roof of your mouth. Next, he started slowly sucking on your tongue, swirling your tongue around with his, almost choking you in the process with how long his tongue was, but you didn’t care. If you had it your way, you’d never stop kissing him. Fuck, he tasted amazing... like spearmint gum and some sort of sugary sweet, he tasted delicious.

Then, Caliban began to run both of his warm hands down your sides, gripping and squeezing and touching and – fuck. He was so amazing and perfect. You loved him so much, he drove you absolutely mental sometimes. His hands were so big and strong and you were so obsessed with them when they were caressing you, you swear the feeling of his skin on yours was pure euphoria.

“My Lady,” Caliban murmured, trailing his lips to the corner of your mouth, then to your cheek, kissing it tenderly. “My Lady, my lady, my lady...” Caliban praised, causing your stomach to erupt in butterflies and your pussy to start gushing uncontrollably, knowing how much it drove you wild when he called you his lady, like you were royalty. Which, in his eyes, you were. You were his, always.

Caliban’s lips moved down to your neck, kissing the skin underneath your ear so gently that it barely felt like he was doing anything, while his hands were now firmly massaging and gripping your ass through your tight jeans. “Caliban,” you sighed, growing frustrated, your pussy now starting to clench down on nothing but thin air. You wanted him, you wanted him so badly you thought you’d snap any second.

It’s been days since he last visited you in your bedroom in the Mortal realm, and he fucked you so good and hard that night that the next day, you could barely walk. That night he was absolutely feral, he wasted no time in fucking your brains out, and you could’ve sworn you felt his cock in your guts as he pounded into you from behind that night. Although, that goes without saying that hours before, he was a complete tease. Eating you out for hours without letting you cum, which made you annoyed and crazy and you really thought you’d start crying hysterically if he didn’t quit his teasing then. Luckily – for the both of you – he did, and he – of course – slowly and sensually slid his cock deep inside of you, before fucking you like a good little slut.

Caliban loved you, there was no denying it. He’d do just about anything for you if you asked him, and he could be so sweet and charming, and most of the time so cruel, just the way you liked him to be. But praise Satan, he knew how to fuck you just right, like when to be soft and gentle and affectionate, with a dark twist of being rough and quick and downright sinful. You swore it was a talent only he possessed, which wouldn’t be a total shock since he did live in and helped rule Hell sometimes.

“My Lady,” Caliban sighed, grabbing your attention as you came back down to – well, Hell – and looked back up at him, snapping out of your sexual daydream. “Hmmm?” you questioned, batting your eyelashes up at the scowling Prince. Fuck, he was so pretty. The Prince of Hell smirked down at you, reaching one hand up to gently grasp your chin with long fingers, holding it as he examined your pretty face up closely and rubbed his calloused thumb over your swollen, bottom lip.

“Was my angel daydreaming again?” he chastised, his tone sickly sweet, as if he were talking to a five year old girl. You were always so fucking cute, playing dumb and naïve, but he knew you knew better. And oh, oh – he was teasing you, the bastard. Two can play that game. As expected though, your plans always seemed to backfire on you as you unconsciously started to rub your clothed thighs together desperately, knowing what was about to come.

Fuck the consequences.

So, you played along, praying that he would have mercy on you tonight. “No, my Lord, I’d never disobey –“ Caliban snorted, cutting you off completely as you amused him at your failure of attempting to lie to him. Him, of all people. Caliban chuckled, shaking his head fondly and kissing your lips once more, making you respond instantly as you stood on the tips of your toes, kissing him back eagerly. Your arms reached up to wrap themselves around his neck once more, pulling him so close that both your chests were pressed so tightly together, your hearts beating against one another’s as one.

Before speaking, Caliban wrapped you tightly in his arms, interlocking his fingers together behind your back, resting his interlocked hands right above your ass. “My Lady, I thought you learned your lesson the other night,” Caliban spoke in false kindness, leaning down to lightly drag his tongue along the shell of your ear. You hummed quietly, tilting your head slightly to give your boyfriend more access, feeling excitement flow throughout your body. Or, were you just a horny little slut, like your boyfriend said you were?

Caliban paused, taking in a short breath, feeling his cock harden almost unbearably at the thought of punishing you again, just like a couple of nights ago. “Bad girls don’t get to cum unless they tell the truth. And you, my lady – have sinned.”

fin

#chilling adventures of sabrina #caos #caos part 4 #caos caliban x reader #caliban x reader #caliban x female reader #caliban caos #prince of hell #prince caliban #demon prince #caliban #satanism #my writing #userluna

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a-method-in-it · 2 years ago

Note

Gender is the word for sex roles. Sex roles are your cage. You're gilding your cage. Patriarchy defines womanhood by gender. You are a misogynist. You are a white supremacist. You are a dumb homphobic bigot.

Hello anon! I'm assuming this was also you?

If it wasn't I can't be fucked to answer this twice so we're consolidating.

I considered giving you the level of response this argument deserves which is some sort of pithy, dismissive instruction to take your feminist theory back to 1986 when it would already be outdated, but on the off chance that you are open to learning, here goes:

To say that "gender" is only a tool of oppression; is only about sex roles; and is only a cage is not just a shitty thing to argue it's also just...demonstrably not true.

Like actually, literally you can just look out at the world and see that this is objectively false.

I mean, if all that gender is or can ever be is oppression and sex roles, then how do you explain women who adopt masculine gender presentation but still very much consider themselves women? How do you square someone rejecting female gender presentation but not rejecting womanhood?

You can say that he/him lesbians don't exist, I guess, but also in the real world they do and have for generations--as have any number of other gender non-conforming people. So, you know.

Obviously something internal is going on here, something that goes beyond socially defined rules. That thing is called gender.

So no: Gender is not just the word for sex roles. Socially defined gendered expectations are part of gender, yes, and much of our society's (rather bad) understanding of gender revolves around biological sex. But when people talk about gender in this context, they mean something else.

The easiest way to explain it, to me, has always been this: If you switched bodies, science fiction-style, with someone who had a body of a different biological sex than you, would you still think of yourself as the gender you are now? Or would you immediately think of yourself as a man now/as a woman now? Would it be just that easy?

I cannot speak for you, but I personally would not think that. I am a woman. If I was Freaky-Friday-ed into a male body, I would not stop being a woman because being a woman is a part of who I am as a person. It is how I perceive and interact with the world. It is how I see myself. It is interwoven into my whole being.

And also, incidentally, I like being a woman. I don't like sexism or misogyny or patriarchy, but I like womanhood. If given the opportunity to be something else, I wouldn't take it.

Moreover, if sexism and misogyny and patriarchy ended tomorrow, I would still be a woman.

Like, I don't know fully what that world would look like, but I know who I am. I would still be a woman in the absence of oppression.

And to be honest, it's kind of shitty--and not a little misogynist--for you to say that all womanhood is is oppression and misery. Fuck off with that shit. Is that your idea of where womanhood starts and stops? That is so impossibly bleak and sad, I can't stand it. That is a level of woman-hating that boggles my brain.

If you really hate being a woman that much, I don't even know what to tell you other than go to therapy.

I will be over here, not hating women or myself, having a party and also a much more logically consistent feminist theory that isn't disproved by simply spending 12 seconds at the Queer Liberation March.

I'm not even going to get into the part where you called me a misogynist and homophobe and a white supremacist and a religious conservative and also dumb. Because very obviously none of that is true, and it deserves even less than a pity response.

I know who I am. I like who I am. That fact seems to upset you, but I am afraid I cannot be bothered by that.

I hope you actually do consider therapy.

#method speaks #i don't get enough anon hate to dislike it tbh #it's honestly kind of fun #though watch now I've jinxed it #i'm going to start getting hundereds or something now #i also considered talking about the white supremacist thing #considering this whole view relies on a very #VERY #eurocentric understanding of the gender binary #but it was long enough as is #you're welcome

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joonessence · 4 years ago

Text

The cough drop // jjk

summary: Jungkook enchants you from the second he catches your eyes from the stage of the small venue. You already know you’re gonna be falling in too deep.

wc: 2,427

tags: jk fluff i guess idk what to call this, band au

notes: this is way longer than i meant for it to be but it was so fun to write, also let me know if i should make it into a series??? possibly?? part 2 is here!

You had gone to a show with your friends for some unknown band. You’re sitting at a high table with your head supported by your hand; you’d had a long day at work and just wanted to go home. You stared at your untouched drink that had been set there by your friends earlier that night thinking of exactly which pyjamas you were going to change into when you got home; you couldn’t wait. Looking up, someone was already staring at you, eyes partially shielded by his drenched hair. He’s overwhelming from the second you meet eyes.

Your breath caught unexpectedly in your throat causing you to choke and cough. You feel your cheeks burning as you try to regulate your breathing. Once you find your natural state again, you glance up to see him still staring at you but his lips are curled up in a smirk.

You try to carry on as usual for the rest of the night until it’s acceptable for you to excuse yourself to go home but you feel his eyes on you. You turn to look at him again only to discover that he’s walking in your direction, holding something in his hand. In under a second you decide to act indifferent towards him, already expecting him to pester you. When he reaches you, he taps your shoulder and holds out his hand.

“Here, you looked like you needed this earlier.” His words sound sweet but the sly smile on his face betrays him; it’s not what you were expecting.

You look down in his hand to find a cough drop. Inside, you want to laugh but you can’t give him the satisfaction. You look up with your best blank stare.

“Do you just carry these around so that you have a reason to talk to unsuspecting girls?”

The stranger laughs so loudly at that, throwing his head back and grabbing onto your table to steady himself. When he calms down, he opens the wrapper to the cough drop and pops it into his mouth.

“No, but that was funny! I keep them for after we get off stage and my throat is scratchy,” he says with the cough drop pushed against his cheek. “What’s your name?”

You’re quiet as you try to analyze him, searching for his true intention behind talking to you. When you’re silent for a beat too long, he continues.

“I’m Jungkook, my band is the one that was playing earlier.” He looks smug, like he’s trying to impress you.

“That’s nice, Jungkook, but if you’ll excuse me I’ll be getting back to my friends now.” You say it like you mean it, but you don’t really mean it. You meet his eyes and he throws his head back again as if you’ve just said the world’s funniest joke.

“Babe, I’ve been looking at you for a while; you’re not even interested in talking to them. I thought I’d come here and offer you my companionship.” He’s still smiling and his eyes are twinkling, you can feel yourself sinking deeper into his charm.

“What makes you think I want the companionship of a stranger,” you point at him, almost poking him in the chest, then move your hand to refer to the other people sitting at your table, “over my friends?”

“Well, by the way you lost your breath when I looked at you earlier, I’d hazard a guess that you wanna talk to me.” He looks so pleased when your cheeks flame up.

“I’ll have you know that I’m getting over a cold and THAT is why I was coughing,” you say hoping he doesn’t see through your lie.

He laughs and puts his hands up, in mock defeat while reaching for something from his back pocket. He pulls out a pen and leans over to the table to scribble something on the wrapper of the cough drop.

“Well, when you decide you want to talk to me, here’s my number,” Jungkook states while sliding the wrapper over to you.

“If. If I decide to talk to you,” you correct.

He smiles softly and shakes his head, you almost mistake it as an endeared action but you know your eyes must be deceiving you.

“Okay, if you decide to talk to me, there it is,” Jungkook says as he’s walking backwards to get back to his table, still looking at you.

You let out a shaky breath, glad that you’re by yourself again. Only, you think to yourself, he wasn’t as bad as you thought he’d be. You know you’ll decide to text him later but what he doesn’t know yet won’t kill him. You finally excuse yourself from your friends, eager to get home and on your drive back you can’t get Jungkook out of your head. His sparkling eyes, the piercings that line his ears, the tattoos he has on display. His image and his words are engraved in your brain.

You throw your keys onto the coffee table when you get back to your apartment and head to your room. You look at the wrapper with Jungkook’s number written on it. Trying to convince yourself that you have no idea why you took it is futile, you know exactly why you did. Against all logic, you take your phone and type a message to him.

[you]: DONT take this as me deciding to talk to you

[you]: i was just wondering if you could tell your tall buff band member that i liked his voice

You laugh to yourself for a second before worrying he won’t get that you aren’t serious. You set your phone down and try to push down the regret that’s spreading throughout your body. Your phone dings and you reach for it immediately.

[coughkook]: oooh :( my wounded feelings i’ll never recover

[coughkook]: i won't be tell anyone anything

[coughkook]: but

[coughkook]: you can come to our next gig and maybe i’ll let you talk to him

You roll your eyes at his last message. “Let you talk to him,” you scoff and look at your phone when it dings again.

[coughkook]: it’s next friday at 8 i’ll send the address

You don’t respond after he sends it, wanting to keep Jungkook on his toes. Truthfully, you’ve already decided to go and are drafting up an excuse to cancel the plans you had with your friends.

You don’t talk to Jungkook for the next five days, until you show up to the address he sent you. You take a seat halfway between the stage and the door and look around to find Jungkook on stage with his band members. He’s talking to the buff member you mentioned to him last week, the one you thought was cute but not nearly as enchanting as Jungkook. He spots you and leaps down the stairs of the stage, god he’s so cute.

“You came,” he says with a big, too bright smile compared to the dark atmosphere of the small venue. “We go on in like, ten minutes; I hope you’re ready to be blown away.”

You scoff and roll your eyes. Jungkook needs his ego taken down a notch or two but you still find him captivating.

“Yeah, yeah just go warm up,” you say with false annoyance and send him a small grin.

He runs back to the stage and gives you a thumbs up and that same blinding smile. Your head shakes involuntarily but in your head, you know you’re locked in for good. When the lights to the venue dim even more, you sit up straight to capture every moment of Jungkook while he’s performing. You’re not ready for the next 45 minutes you experience. Jungkook’s voice is so beautiful and so full of every emotion you can think of. You can’t look away even if you tried to. Is it the stage lights or is he actually glowing? His presence overpowers everything. The way he moves with a purpose on the stage, his hand pushing his hair out of his face every so often, his eyes locking with yours. You won’t forget any of it.

When Jungkook and his band are done, he looks to you and holds up his index finger to let you know he’ll be back in a moment. You’re thankful, you feel like you need an infinite amount of time to wrap your head around what happened enough for you to speak coherent sentences. Jungkook walks around the side of the stage and practically floats to you. As he gets closer to your table he points to a full glass of water you had ordered for him earlier with a smile and shoots his eyebrows up, as if to ask if it was for him. You motion for him to go ahead and he downs the whole glass in one go. Endearingly shaking your head at him has become second nature to you by now. He slams the glass down on the table and clears his throat.

“Well?” he asks, expectantly.

“Well what?” you reply knowing what he’s asking for but playing dumb anyway.

“Well what did you think?” you’re silent so he continues, “Of us? Of me?”

“Oh that! Yeah, it was good, I guess.” It was more than good but you don’t want to inflate his already too large ego.

“Just ‘good’? You were on the edge of your seat the whole time! You basically fell out of the chair!” he says, exasperatedly. He narrows his eyes at you, “I see right through you, you know.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you say and hop off your chair. You push his shoulder to direct him to the table where his band members are. “Aren’t you gonna introduce me anyway?”

He groans but leads you there where he introduces you to them. It’s obvious that they’re more like friends than bandmates. There’s four in the band with him, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, and Seokjin, and two friends Yoongi and Taehyung. You decide within a few minutes you like them all a lot.

“So you met Kookie at our last gig, right?” Namjoon asks. He’s the buff one.

“Ah, yeah. He bothered me until I gave in and messaged him, didn’t you ‘Kookie’? ” you joke and turn your head to see him roll his eyes and huff.

“Sounds like him, when are you gonna stop bothering strangers?” Hoseok directs to Jungkook.

“I can’t believe you guys are actually falling for this! I had her swooning for me the second she saw me,” Jungkook retaliates.

You wish what he said wasn’t true but you know it is. And seeing him with his friends doesn’t help the growing feelings in your chest. You spend the rest of the night talking with them and learning every embarrassing piece of information you can about Jungkook, you’ll use it all later. Way too often do you lose yourself in staring at Jungkook. He’s too alluring for his own good. When the night comes to an end, Jungkook offers you a ride home. Normally, you wouldn’t accept but you couldn’t refuse the way he begged you to go with him. In the car, Jungkook complains about how you spent too much time talking to his friends rather than him.

“Wait… did you think I was there for you?” You cover your mouth in faux embarrassment to accompany your act.

Jungkook’s head turns towards you. He’s got his mouth open in shock and he’s trying to come up with words when you take pity on him.

“I’m just kidding, Jungkook. Of course I went for you. You were really good,” you flush pink as you say it but not as pink as Jungkook flushes when he hears it.

“Thank you,” he mumbles and you laugh out loud.

The rest of the ride is spent with you teasing him for getting jealous and him teasing you back for getting so caught up in watching him. Neither of you deny it because you both know you can’t. Jungkook rolls to a stop in front of your apartment building and looks at you.

“I’ll message you when I get home, okay?”

You nod and let out a breathy “okay.” You thank him and tell him goodnight and walk up the stairs to the lobby of the building. You turn to look at him and he gives you a confused look.

“Why aren’t you going in yet?” he shouts.

You laugh loudly. “I wanna watch you drive away!”

He makes a face and you giggle.

“Get back in your car, Kookie.” You shoo him with your hand.

He laughs to himself and it's his turn to shake his head at you but he listens to your instructions anyway. You watch him drive off until you can’t. You can’t think straight so much that you might as well levitate up to your apartment. Jungkook makes you dizzy. You’re not even sure how you changed out of your clothes and got into bed with less than half a brain left. You don’t wait long for Jungkook’s message.

[coughkook]: i’m home :)

[coughkook]: thanks for coming <3

You smile to yourself and respond wasting no time.

[you]: thanks for inviting me! :)

[coughkook]: come to our next one?

[coughkook]: if you can

[coughkook]: the boys liked you, thought you were funny. they want you to come again

You roll your eyes at Jungkook’s ego again.

[you]: hmm the boys or you?

[coughkook]: the boys AND me want you to come again

Your heart beats faster in your chest. You weren’t expecting Jungkook to be so honest, so quickly. You definitely would go again, definitely will go again, actually.

[you]: oooh you like me so much

[you]: i’ll come

[coughkook]: ugh

[coughkook]: yes but i know you like me too so we’re even

[you]: hm

[you]: that’s fine with me

[coughkook]: good

[coughkook]:i’ll text you in the morning, goodnight <3

[you]: goodnight kookie

You assume he won’t see it until morning but you send him another message anyway but you’re surprised to see that he responds immediately. Wasn’t he supposed to be asleep or could he not sleep because he was replaying every moment he had with you, the same way you were doing with him.

[you]: i wasn’t sick

[coughkook]: i know LOL you thought i was pretty didn’t you?

[you]: ugh yes but i know you think i’m pretty too so we’re even

Your face burns at Jungkook’s last message of the night.

[coughkook]: yeah but even if we weren’t even i would still think you’re the prettiest girl i’ve seen

#jjk #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fluff #jjk fluff #jungkook fic #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fic #jeon jungkook x reader

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shoichee · 4 years ago

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Hey! I read your Kise imagine recently and I adore it, it's rare to see someone write about manga!kise and I really loved it. Furthermore your writing is so so good to read 🥰 I wanted to ask you Kise x reader prompt 1! I would really like to read about him in such a situation ☺ Thank you Iain advance 😘

WAHHH TYSM ANON <33 IM SO HAPPY HEHE, and phew yall thought asshole kise was something but... have yall heard of TEIKO-era asshole kise??! NO?? dw, bc he’s debuting here // i wanted to really showcase his dual sides through more of dialogue (so we won’t really see what’s in Kise’s mind for this), so here it is hope you enjoy this anon!

Kise x Reader

Prompt: “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

Word Count: 2120

prompt list here

»»—————　☼　—————««

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it, Kise.”

“Huh?” he mocks with a condescending tone. “I didn’t peg you as someone who’d pull shit out of their ass like my last ‘ex-girlfriend.’ Just because I let you hang around me doesn’t mean you can parade around campus with an inflated ego.”

Your hands shake furiously at your sides, trying not to punch the basketball player square in the face.

“Me? With an ego? Look who’s damn talking!” you seethe. “I’m tired of the fact that we keep playing this stupid flirting game for months, only for it to go absolutely nowhere!”

“Have you ever stopped to use your brain and think about how flirting inherently is done in good casual fun?” Kise explains slowly, implying that you were the immature one in the situation. “Meanwhile, you have the audacity to get mad at me when you’re the one who’s using me for your own selfish gain!” Kise sends a heated glare but his eyes were tinged with betrayal.

“What the hell are you even talking about? Are you out of your mind?”

“Fuck this,” he scoffs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m leaving, I’m not dealing with this shit anymore. If you want attention, I’m not gonna entertain you anymore.”

“No, you will not leave!” you yell, trying to stop Kise in his tracks. He merely ignores you as he holds up a hand to do a wave with his back to you. “You’re going to explain what the hell you were talking about!”

You sprinted and held onto his sleeve to tug him back to face you, only to be met by the most bone-chilling gaze from him. You would’ve absolutely cowered in his presence if it wasn’t for the fact that you were irrationally angry from the false accusations Kise threw at you prior. You can definitely tell that Kise was biting his inner cheek to keep himself reasonably calm.

“Ryōta,” you say.

“Don’t call me by my first name anymore,” he says flatly.

“Where did you get the idea that I was using you?”

“Hah! Why? Does it matter? Are you gonna go to them and try to threaten them after? It’s so clear from the way you’re talking right now that you only see me as a prize to show off.” You inhale a huge breath to stop yourself from saying something you’ll regret.

“I never saw you as some object, Ryōta,” you mildly scoff. “Let me make myself clear. All I wanted was a clear answer from you every time I asked you if you wanted something serious, but every single damn time, you changed the subject or never answered the question!”

“It’s all done in good fun. Does it really need to be serious?”

“But I want something serious with you!”

Kise merely turns away in silence, but you can see his body slightly tremble.

“... Ryōta?”

“Don’t lie to me like that…” he says, slightly sucking a breath. “... Look, if you really wanna use me to boost your popularity, just… just come clean, okay? I’ll go along with it if you tell me now. After all, we’ve been… good friends.”

“Lie? Why would I lie? I never thought once of using you or having any motives other than to get to know you personally as a friend, Ryōta,” you say, looking down on the grip you had on his sleeve still.

“What reason is there to know someone like this other than to activate a ticking time bomb while playing a game to pass that time? Isn’t that how it’s always been? Isn’t that what we are right now?”

Your senses tell you that something deeper beyond this surface argument has been troubling him. You slowly let go of his sleeve, before turning away with a sigh, leaving Kise absolutely confused.

“I think we both need to cool our heads,” you sigh. “We’ve both said too much, and… just… forget what I said, okay? And I’ll forget about what you told me.” Kise’s eyes widen at your statement.

“(y/n)-cchi…?”

“We can still do light-hearted banter like we always do the next time we see each other, okay Kise?” Your fists on your sides tremble before you hold up your head to give him a cheerful smile that’s eerily all too familiar to his own. You turn to walk away, but his heart squeezes painfully at the sight of your back to him like this. You’re so far from him. So far.

“Hold it, now…” he says, slightly sprinting to catch up to you. He grabs your hand, still balled tightly by your side. “You’re cruel, you know that? Demanding me not to leave but then leaving the conversation on your own accord? You’re a hypocrite.” He spins you around to see your eyes barely struggling to hold back fresh tears. Little did he know that your countenance was a mirror to his own.

“... Our heads aren’t in the right place, Kise. You should probably let go.”

“I probably should, huh…” he says, but still giving no sign that he was actually going through with it.

“Knowing you, you’d really hold my fist until someone has to actually separate you from me.”

“And knowing you, you’d probably punch me before anyone else had the chance to do so.”

“You know me so well, hm?” you muse, a tiny curl of your lip a different world than the one you gave moments before.

“... No,” he says with a slight frown. “I don’t think I know you well enough.”

“I don’t know you enough either, Kise.”

Silence falls between the two of you, frail as thin ice, before you eventually break it.

“... You’re right, this whole friendship we have right now… it’s a time bomb. It’s bound to fail and fall apart.”

“W-Wait,” Kise slightly says in shock. “That was… I didn’t mean it like—”

“No healthy relationship of any kind would last if we keep dancing around each other like this. I wanna be honest with you for once… I… don’t wanna do this banter anymore. I don’t wanna do these flirting games. I’m kinda tired of it. Especially when you always keep me at a distance.”

“Pfft, (y/n)-cchi,” he snorts loudly, flashing his sunny smile. “I’m practically so close to you holding your hand!”

“You know exactly what I mean,” you sigh, and you avert your gaze away. “You feel so far. I just… you feel so out of reach even when I’m in the same room as you… even as of now. I just want to know where we’ll end up.”

You firmly shake his grip off you, watching his hand falling back to his side as he does nothing but stare at you. You don’t know if he’s angry, offended, or shocked, but whatever his expression was, you couldn’t tell, not when you still stared at the concrete to the side rather than at him.

“Of course I wanna be friends with you,” you continue. “But can you blame me for believing that there’s something more between us when we do romantic gestures and flirting for months on end? If we’re just going to be friends, that’s fine, but I’d prefer if you’d also stop addressing me with -cchi, just to draw a clear boundary between us.” You finally look up to see Kise, but to your own shock, he looks quite bitter.

“You say that you’re confused about what we are, but then you go prattle to everyone else that you’re my significant other when we haven’t even talked a single thing about being a serious thing. You’re so fucking confusing.”

“I… did no such thing?” Your eyes, still puffy from the tear ducts, shine in genuine bewilderment.

“You… didn’t?”

“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I… um… oh…” All he could do was to stand there completely stupefied, mouth gaping as multiple realizations suddenly hit him like bricks. He rubs his neck as he shamefully looks away.

“So tell me,” you slowly say, giving him a more bone-chilling gaze than the one he gave you. “What exactly have you been hearing in the hallways?” You both stand there in silence again as Kise struggles to think of a way to explain it without sounding completely dumb.

“Okay, look… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have listened to the rumors so easily, especially since I despise them too, but… they were about you, and I just couldn’t help myself…” he mumbles. “I don’t know, I… the thought of you getting close to me to use me really, really hurts.”

“And you thought just cutting me off on the spot was the most reasonable decision you can think of?”

“H-Hey…! Don’t put it like that! I thought I knew you well, but when I heard what people gossiped, my mind just went somewhere, and I thought maybe I misread you at some point. If you really did have ulterior motives, cutting you off wouldn’t be as easy as that other girl. Because I… w-wait! Where are you going?!”

“Home, Kise,” you flatly say. “It’s after school after all.”

“At least hear what I have to say!” He tries to catch up with you, but you only speed walk to outpace him. “Let me explain myself!”

“Hypocrite~” you say, using Kise’s mocking voice. “I don’t recall you letting me explain myself in the beginning.”

“(y/n)-cchi, I’m sorry! I’ll pay for all the outings we’ll do this week! And um… I’ll always talk to you if something’s bothering me—don’t ignore me!”

“Didn’t I tell you not to use -cchi?” you sigh, stopping abruptly, causing Kise to accidentally bump against you. “I’ll forgive you, but we’re still only friends. I guess I’ll apologize for assuming things on my end, too.” Kise drops his head on your shoulder from behind, and you only roll your eyes in amusement at the familiar contact. “Oh dear, Kise. I didn’t think you were the type to be so clingy after a fight.”

“Okay, I’ll ‘fess up,” he says, voice muffled by your uniform blazer. “Even though we’ve always gotten along so well, there’s always been a part of me who’s been on the lookout for any possible signs that you only saw me for my reputation. While I enjoyed having you around, I had always been ready to cut you off if I saw anything suspicious, but… lately the thought of letting you go ached so much… and then I heard what the other students were talking about… how you were acting the entire time… how you somehow screwed over other people before… couldn’t really think properly after that.”

“Boo hoo,” you huff. “Do you want a kiss to make you feel better?”

“... I actually do.”

“I think our heads haven’t completely cooled down. I’m going ahead.” You were about to walk away, even though you very much enjoyed his head on your shoulder, but his arms wrap around you to stop moving any further from his side.

“You said that you wrongly assumed what we were…” he whispers. “But you’re actually right. We’ve been more than friends for a while without me really acknowledging it,” he chuckles at your groan, “I guess you really do know me well… I’m really attached to you… but it’s not fair that you’re so collected even when I’m hugging you like this.”

“Kise, you’re an idiot, do you know that?” you snort. “How are you hugging me but not noticing how fast my heart is beating?”

“H-Hey! Can you call me by my first name again? I said it without really thinking, okay? It hurts me every time you do that.” He gives the most comical pout, but you only punch the top of his head on your shoulder before walking ahead.

“I’m still mad at you. I’m going home.”

“(y/n)-cchi, w-wait! Let me walk you home, then!”

“Don’t call me that either. I’m still mad at you.”

“But aren’t we dating now? I can call you that if we’re a thing.”

“But I’m still mad. You still said all those horrible things, and that stung. You think you’re the only one hurting right now?”

“I’m really, really sorry! I’ll make it up to you, and I won’t say anything like that again, and…”

“You’re not being really convincing.”

“I know I was being immature and the one with the inflated ego, and I said things that aren’t remotely true—”

You sigh before you turn back to a panicking Kise behind you.

“Then you better make it up to me by cuddling me and telling me some sweet nothings, because I can really use that right now, Ryōta.”

#knb x reader #knb #knb fic #knb fics #knb scenarios #kise x reader #kise ryota #kise ryota x reader #kise ryouta #teiko middle school #teiko #knb teiko #manga kise

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darthkruge · 4 years ago

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hey could you do a jess mariano x reader where the reader has dyslexia but loves to read. someone at school makes a comment about her being dumb and she gets insecure but jess is super reassuring to the reader about how intelligent she is. also they can either be already dating or have mutual crushes. whatever you think fits better. <3

Jess Mariano x Dyslexic!Reader ~ All of You

Summary: Someone at school insults the dyslexic reader and their boyfriend, Jess, provides reassurance.

Warnings: Bullying, language, insecurities, I think that’s it?

Words: 2.1k

A/N: Hey!! I’m so, so sorry this took me so long to get to! I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t mean to keep you in the ask box void. I really enjoyed writing this, so thank you for requesting! I decided to make them already be dating because that’s where my brain went hehe. I hope you like it :)

You walked to school hand-in-hand with your boyfriend, as always. Even though it took him about 15-20 minutes out of the way, Jess never missed walking with you. He hated the thought of you starting your day by yourself and never wanted you to feel forgotten about or lonely. Thus, the tradition began and it has stayed the way you start your day, everyday, for the last few months that you’ve been dating.

Jess pulled you behind the science building, pressing his lips to yours. Your hands instinctively wove into his hair and his arms wound around your waist, pulling your bodies together. He smiled into the kiss before pulling away from your lips and gently moving his kisses down the side of your neck. You hummed in content before moving to meet his face again, once again pressing your lips to his.

These stolen moments were what you lived for. You’d never felt too confident in yourself, at least as far as relationships went, and you weren’t used to this kind of affection. Even so, you loved every moment of it. Everything with Jess felt so natural. No matter what, you came first to him and he never failed to show it.

You both pulled away and he softly kissed your forehead.

“See you after second period?”

“Of course”

“Okay, love. Text me if you need me. Or if you’re bored. Or if you miss me”

“Oh, yes! That Jess Mariano charm. I’m not sure how I’ll endure two classes without it!”

“I’m sure it’ll prove quite e difficult,” Jess said, laughing. The bell rang and he gave you one last smile before you parted.

You walked into your English class with a smile on your face, giddy after the experience with him. He made you feel alive. It was the kind of feeling you didn’t know you needed, but once you felt it you couldn’t imagine losing it.

You sat down in your seat, waiting for the teacher to start class.

“Okay, everyone. Today we’re just going to be doing some silent reading for the first half of class and then I’ll put you in small groups to work on a new project”

Fuck. Group projects were the fucking worst. Unless you got one of your friends, people were normally assholes and impossible to work with.

Even though you were upset with the new development, you were excited to have time to read. You pulled out your copy of The Great Gatsby that Jess had lent you and picked up where you last left off. Because you read so much and generally did well or at least half-decent in school, people never assumed you had dyslexia. Lots of people had this false narrative that if you have dyslexia, you must hate reading. It was something you were used to, the stupid comments and assumptions. You tried to not let it get to you but you sometimes felt frustrated. You’d run into loads of ignorant people in your life and while you weren’t ashamed to have dyslexia, you hated having to explain it to every new teacher, every new friend in your life. You never knew how’d they’d react.

Even so, reading was one of your greatest joys in life. Losing yourself in the work, in the story, it was enthralling. You loved to find characters that you connected with. Their emotions were palpable and made you feel validated and less alone. Reading was one of the main things that brought you and Jess together. He knew you had dyslexia and, thankfully, never treated you like you were any less. You were afraid he would break up with you once you told him, but, of course, he didn’t. You were still you, and that’s all he cared about.

He loved trading books with you and hearing your thoughts on them. In doing so, he felt the two of you were brought closer together. Discussing literature was an almost intimate experience in your relationship. Learning which characters and themes resonated with a person was truly illuminating about their personality and mind. Right now, as you read Gatsby, Jess was reading Pride and Prejudice. You loved Jane Austen, as did Jess, and you completely enjoyed discussing her work.

After a few moments lost in thought, your teacher’s voice pulled you back to the present. “Alright! Okay so for the group project you will be analyzing the short story “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson. Please read it together today and discuss what you think the most pertinent theme is. I’ve already assigned the groups and I’ll display them on the board right now.”

Your teacher stepped back and turned on the projector so you could see the groups. Scanning for your name, you internally groaned when you saw who you were with. Sarah, Justin, and Alex. They were all close and their friend group didn’t exactly have the best reputation. You grabbed your bag, walked over to them, and sat down.

“So, y’all just wanna read it? Then just talk about it, I guess. We’re looking for themes, right?” Sarah asked.

Everyone nodded, opening up the copies of the short story placed on your desks. You jumped in and immediately felt yourself pulled into the writing. After a few minutes, your eyes glued to the story, you heard the rest of your group closing their packets.

“Alright, everyone done?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, you?” Alex said

Sarah nodded in agreement.

You, on the other hand, felt your cheeks flush. You were only about 70% through the story. “Sorry, I just need a bit more time, is that okay?”

“Ugh, fine, whatever. Just hurry up,” Sarah groaned.

Your face burning, you went back to the reading. It wasn’t like you weren’t trying, you were! They just wouldn’t understand it. You couldn’t count the amount of times people had told you to just “focus more”. It made your blood boil, honestly. It was so dismissive and you couldn't believe people still thought that way. You always focused and it wasn’t your fault, and, yet, morons like these three persisted. After a few more minutes, you heard Alex again.

“Come on! You can’t possibly still be reading?”

“I’m sorry, just-” You sighed, running your hands through your hair. “Please, just a few more minutes?”

“God, you’re so fucking stupid. No wonder no one wants to work with you. All you do is hold people up, you’re a goddamn idiot” Alex said.

Your eyes burned and unshed tears started to push their way up but you fought them down. You wouldn’t let yourself cry in front of them. They didn’t deserve to see how they’d affected you.

Finally, the bell went off and you were able to leave. Your group glared at you and you realized you hadn’t discussed the themes.

“It’s, um, the story’s about the juxtaposition of peace and violence. Even though the people are in a calm, controlled setting, they resort to violence every year. It’s an outdated tradition they keep up and, thus, it highlights the difference between their actions and how they want to be perceived.” You said quickly, voice wavering.

Your group scoffed before walking off. That didn’t bother you too much. You knew your analysis was accurate and probably far better than anything they could have come up with, even if they’d spent the last 15 minutes of class discussing it. Despite this, you still felt deflated. The shit they’d said, the way they’d treated you? You couldn’t deny it, it got to you.

You walked over to your locker and put your stuff away. After that, you decided you were just going to go home. You could call the school later and say you were feeling sick or something. Honestly, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were just so drained, you needed to get away from this place and the people in it.

However, you didn’t want Jess to worry. You sent him a quick text saying you weren’t feeling well and put on your headphones before walking out of the school.

What you didn’t expect was Jess to come flying out of nowhere, appearing by your side as if you’d summoned him.

“Jess! What are you doing? Don’t you have class!”

He shrugged. ��You weren’t feeling well. Did you honestly expect I’d leave you by yourself? And, seriously, Y/N, you know I hate this place. You’re the only thing that makes it bearable so if you wouldn’t be here, why should I?”

You nodded and kept walking forward. Jess looked at you quizzically, trying to decode your dejected state. He kept quiet, knowing not to push you to talk. He trusted you’d come to him when you were ready. Therefore, he simply followed you until you made it off campus, where you turned into a random alley and suddenly stopped walking.

Jess caught himself, almost running right into you. You suddenly turned around, dropped your bag, and bolted right into his chest. He was caught off guard but instinctively brought his arms around you, trying to comfort you. He noticed you were crying, your broken sobs getting muffled in his shirt. He soothingly rubbed his arms up and down your back, desperately trying to give you solace. After you finally quieted down, Jess gently and slowly pulled you back.

His hands gripped your shoulders as he studied your face, your sad gaze meeting his. “What happened?”

“Stupid English, that’s all”

“Come on, Y/N, don’t shut me out. What happened?” He said, his tone kind.

“I-” You trailed off, trying to keep your composure. “Some kids just said some shit. I was just reading slower than them and they said some shit. It’s not a big deal, I just- it got to me, okay?”

“Who?” Jess said, firmly this time.

“Jess-”

“Who, Y/N?”

“Alex, Justin, and Sarah.”

Jess groaned, rubbing the heels of his hands over his eyes. “Fuck them, Y/N. They’re fucking ridiculous and they don’t know anything about you”

“I know, I know. That’s why I’m so goddamn frustrated! Because, like, it did get to me. Jess- Jess, they’re right. I felt like an idiot today, I felt stupid. And I hate feeling that way!” Hot tears smarmed in your eyes, the frustration and anger bringing them out.

Jess’s gaze softened. As livid as he felt toward the three of them, he knew that’s not what you needed right now.

“Hey, hey, hey. Love, take a breath. I’ve got you, okay?”

You nodded, your breathing shaky from the stress of the day.

“I’m sorry that happened today. Listen to me, Y/N. You’re so smart. You’re smarter than I am, hell, you’re smarter than anyone at that school! They’ve got nothing on you!”

You looked at him and smiled at his words but shook your head. “You don’t need to do that, Jess”

“Yes, I do. We promised we’d be honest in our relationship, right? Well, that’s all I’m doing. Seriously, Y/N, who else at that school could debate the themes in literature with me like you? Who could discuss the importance of accurate representation in books with me? Who could talk to me about just how influential YA books are and why they should be taken seriously-?”

“They are and they should!” You cut in.

Jess laughs, nodding in agreement. “Exactly!! You’re amazing, Y/N. And I swear those fuckheads are gonna get what’s coming to them”

“Jess-” You warn.

“Okay, okay!” He laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “They just- they messed with you and made you upset and I fucking hate that”

“I hated it too. I hate doubting myself because of my dyslexia. I feel so shit about myself when I get in that headspace and I start spiraling and it gets out of control so fast.”

“I know. It’s not your fault when those spirals happen. And I know you know this, but I’m just gonna remind you: you’re not any less because you’re dyslexic. It doesn’t make you stupid or anything. It’s a part of you and I love you, all of you”

Your heart swelled at his words. Everyone thought Jess wasn’t good expressing his emotions but you knew the truth. He was quite eloquent when he wanted to be, he just sometimes had trouble with vulnerability. You didn’t blame him for it, with his past it made perfect sense. But when you needed that reassurement, that compassion, you could always count on him for it.

He moved to place a kiss on your forehead before slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Let’s go home, okay?”

“Okay” You smiled up at him and kissed him once more before tucking your head into his shoulder. He pulled you closer and you grabbed his free hand with yours as you continued to walk through the Stars Hollow streets together.

#jess mariano x reader #jess mariano #jess mariano x you #jess mariano fanfic #jess mariano fic #jess mariano imagine #jess mariano imagines #jess mariano x gn!reader #jess mariano x gender neutral reader #jess mariano x dyslexic reader #jess mariano x dyslexic!reader #gilmore girls x reader

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nishigo · 4 years ago

Text

growing. // razor headcanons and writings. // chapter one.

a book titled “growing.”

[ c h a p t e r 1 : false reality. ]

the synopsis reads: razor and the dear reader have gotten themselves into quite the mess. miscommunications and raised voices lead to an argument that was more heated than a flaming flower. although healing takes time, could a wound this large be repaired? aka fighting and making up with razor headcanons.

authors note: hello traveler. pleasure to see you again in this library. this book is a mixture of headcanons as well as writing that i have made into a three part short series. i was going to make it one, but i got carried away because razor is an absolute sweetheart. i do hope you enjoy, and the 3 chapters (aka parts) will come out at around 7:30 pm est. this is because i am trying to do some winter break school work. but please, let me stop rambling. i’ll leave you to it, enjoy the book. :) (also sorry for the repost. i noticed a mistake. ^^”)

word count : 1,222 words.

tw: this part entails an argument. a bit angsty, so if you don’t like yelling, please be cautious dear reader! (*´-`)

request status at time of posting : open.

[ chapter one. ] [ chapter two. ] [ chapter three. ]

in which it began with happiness and hope, yet ended with the crushing of a dream.

would you like to read?

＞　行｡ ( y e s )

＞　不行。( n o )

------

you and razor had been dancing around your feelings for each other for quite some time now.

ever since you met the boy in wolvendom, you had found him to be the most precious being you had ever met.

although, despite this, he wasn’t used to humans and their ways because of how he was raised, so a big roadblock between the two of you was communication.

at first, it was cute, the way his sentences were always short, sweet, and oblivious.

“y/n, smell good. better than meat.”

^ you decided to take that as a compliment rather than an insult.

and his sweet gifts he would give such as some boar meat he had hunted down or some apples he had found lying on the ground were one of the ways you knew he was on good terms with you.

however, you were beginning to get frustrated.

you had fallen in love with the boy due to his sweet nature (and i mean, looks as well; have you seen him? he’s absolutely a pretty boy, even if he doesn’t know it)

but because you could never tell what he was thinking (or rather, he didn’t know what he was thinking), it began to eat you up inside

did razor like you? was he in love with you? would razor date you? or would he consider it mating? how do wolves even mate each other??? bark bark woof woof fall in love??

so many questions, all with no answers.

so one day, you came to wolvendom yourself.

granted, razor wasn’t the main reason for you doing so, you had to hunt for some extra meat and some fruit for your mission you had to partake in tomorrow.

you hadn’t been able to come to the forest for quite some time, so when razor saw you coming over, he practically bounded over to you and stopped right up near your face.

“y/n!” he called your name, an excited look on his features

you froze as you heard your voice, turning and watching as he came at the speed of light right towards you.

there was that smile he had.

a tiny piece of you melted on the inside as he rocked back and forth from heel to toe, but it disappeared as your hands gently took both sides of his shoulders.

------

You inhaled softly as you stared at him. Your eyes held a different look to them today, Razor’s face was morphing into one of confusion as he tilted his head cutely. He truly did act like an overgrown puppy in a human's body. How sweet...

No, wait. No time to get distracted, you had to ask now. You decided that being blunt would be the best course of action as you exhaled. Summoning all the courage you had, you simply inquired,

“Razor, do you love me?”

Razor scrunched up his eyebrows and crossed his arms. Love? What was that? Was it a new meat he had never heard about? Perhaps it was a dish. But then why would you be the meat? He was lost. “Love? What is love?” You scoffed as you glared at him.

“Don’t play dumb with me! I know you don’t know a lot of emotions, but this is not the time to fool around! You know what love is, Razor. It’s a basic emotion, like happiness or sadness. Do you love me?” You repeated, but this time the tension began to rise as he began to get defensive. Why were you suddenly so aggressive with him? He had answered your question honestly, wasn’t that what you wanted? The boy felt the grip of your hands on his shoulders grow a bit tighter and he felt trapped. Restriction of freedom was something that made him panic quick having grown up in the forest. Razor quickly slapped one of your hands away, beginning to fight a bit as he took a step back. Then, in his little brain, he concluded that he would give an answer. After all, if he didn’t know what something was, he should not trust it. It was in his instinct of sorts, and instinct was always right. Well, at least to him.

“No! No, Razor does not want love with you! No love, no no no!” He yelled out, frustrated at your brashness and your tone. Whatever this love thing was, he wasn’t into. Not if it made you so upset. Though, sadly, his misinterpretation caught you off guard as your face went blank. Your other hand let go of him, staring into, or rather past, his blood red eyes, as if he were a ghost.

He was...just being nice? All this time? The apples, the boar, the smiles, laying under the stars together, that meant...nothing to him? Not a spark of love, no feelings? He didn’t feel the same, electrifying rush you got whenever you simply even saw him? You had been combing the stars in the sky for some sort of sign, but alas, you ended up empty handed. All your wishes, his gestures, all the time and commitment you had spent up on this one boy was futile.

The realization made its way onto your face as your eyes began to turn watery. You sniffled a bit as you watched him simply stand there and watch you crumble. It felt embarrassing, it made your hands clammy. Your cheeks flushed, your eyes were devoid of color. He felt something in the air as he stared at you now, a tad curled in on yourself. It was dense, crushing, and uncomfortable. It was like suffocating, which made him confused. Razor concluded that both of you could still breathe, the two of you weren't being hurt, yet…

Why did his chest suddenly feel so heavy?

“Y/N, why face? Why I-” Razor would begin walking towards you to try and make it all better, his gloved hand coming up to your hand, but you took multiple steps back.

“I’m s-sorry. I have to g-go. Forget a-about it.” You put it simply before you dashed off, down the plains and through the shrubs and trees. Razor attempted to follow you, but because of the thicket of trees, he had lost you. At the edge of the forest, he looked around but for some reason, you had disappeared like magic. Gone with the wind you went, leaving just him being more confused and weighed down than ever.

------

you ran back to mondstadt and back to your little inn where you were staying. the holes in communication were now painstakingly obvious as you sat on your bed and held your head in your hands.

he really...didn’t love you.

understandably, you were in tears. it was the first time you had fallen in love with someone for goodness sakes, and to get rejected? it was worse than getting slashed with a sword on the battlefield.

remembering you had to travel once more to the falcon coast for your mission, you decided to distract yourself and then sleep it off.

what’s even worse was that you were going to ask him to come with you. your first adventure together outside of wolvendom!

...hah, as if that would ever happen now.

being with razor was only a dream now.

and in reality, dreams don’t come true.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact razor #genshin razor #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #razor x reader #genshin razor x reader #poor puppy :((#will you two make up?#perhapssss...#if i feel like it #:)

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writingsoftheghost · 4 years ago

Text

Room to Breathe

Based on this post by @sleepyvirgilprompts but I deviated from the intent a lot.

Tw: Panic attack, Unwanted physical contact, yelling, accusations, anxious thoughts, swearing

Ship: Platonic LAMP

Virgil was an idiot, a tired idiot, but an idiot. He’d just wanted out of his room, the shadows and the dark making it impossible to relax that night. Just like it had the night before. He was exhausted, he didn’t even plan to sleep that night, he just wanted to breathe a little. So, he grabbed his blanket and headed to the Light Side living room. It was the first time he’d really left his room in the last few days.

He’d turned the tv to the lowest volume and clicked on the first thing he saw. An episode of Over the Garden Wall. That was fine, Virgil liked the animation.The low volume was soothing, he turned the subtitles on and let himself zone out.

This of course was dumb, relaxing somewhere he shouldn’t be when he was exhausted. Predictably, he fell asleep.

He didn’t know how long he was asleep, but he woke up to the sound of footsteps, footsteps coming closer. He woke up slightly at that realization, looking around and realizing where he was, sending himself into a panic.

He looked around in vain for a place to hide, the tv was still playing softly, when the footsteps sounded impossibly close and Virgil had gone completely delirious with the cocktail of exhaustion and pure panic in his body, he threw the blanket he’d brought over his head and willed himself to stop breathing so loud.

Now, in any other state, Virgil would’ve recognized this as stupid and ridiculous. But right now, his brain seemed to be operating with a child’s ideas of object permanence. “If I can’t see them, they can’t see me.”

So when he heard Princey’s voice his heart almost stopped, “Hello? Patton?”

When Roman got no response, he tried again, “Lo?”

Virgil briefly thought of making a run for it, if he kept the blanket on his head, maybe the prince wouldn’t know it was him. This plan actially sounded pretty good, but just as Virgil was about to make a breal for it, he felt the blanket being tugged away from him.

He was too shocked to resist, suddenly, the anxious trait found himself staring into the eyes of Creativity.

“Anxiety!” The Prince cried incredulously.

Virgil flinched away at the loud noise, “Good Evening, Princey.” He said in a forced casual tone.

“What in Thomas’s name are you doing down here?!” Roman looked mad. Virgil could feel himself moving closer to the edge with every shouted word.

“I could ask you the same question.” Why was he making this worse?

“I live here, you creep!” Roman is in his face now and it’s too much, Virgil has to get out of there.

He pushes Roman away, not hard, but enough to get him to back out of his way. He runs to the stairs, panic blinding him. He bumps into something solid and firm, arms catch him from falling down the few stairs he’d made it up.

“Woah, there, kiddo? Whatcha doing down here so late?” Patton. Patton, oh no oh no oh no oh no...

“That’s what I’m trying to find out,” Roman huffs angrily from the bottom of the stairs. “He pushed me, trying to make an escape attempt. Good job, Pat, you got him.”

Patton frowns, “Anxiety?” He asks softly, “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Virgil lets out a strangled cry, Patton’s arms are still holding onto him, keeping him in place and it’s all too much. He can’t get away, he has to get away. He’s settled on flight, he didn’t want to hurt any of them, but he was so close to losing all control. Why couldn’t they just let him go?

“What are you all doing?” God no. Why did they all have to be here? Why couldn’t he have just stayed in his room?

Virgil was hyperventilating, he couldn’t get himself to focus enough to even explain himself. The only thoughts in his mind right now were, “Go! Go! Go! Danger!” And it was making it impossible to even listen to the words being spoken to him.

“Patton let him go, for Pete’s sake! He’s having a panic attack!” Logan snaps.

“Oh no, kiddo, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize-” Patton stops talking when Virgil yanks away from Patton’s loosened grip and immediately starts running up the remainder of the stairs. They all three flinch at the sound of Virgil’s bedroom door slamming shut.

Patton makes a move to follow the anxious trait, but Logan puts a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t.”

“But he-”

“Is in a serious state of distress, due to the both of you. I doubt he wants any comfort right now. Give him space,” Logan interrupts irritably.

“He left his blankie...” Patton mumbles sadly.

“Logan, that fiend was down here doing gosh knows what, and you want us to give him space?” Roman cries indignantly.

“Ro,” Patton frowns at the prince, “He probably didn’t mean anything by it. He hasn’t come downstairs in days, why’d you chase him out?”

“He was hiding under a blanket,” Roman rolls his eyes, “That’s pretty suspicious. You need to stop being so nice, Pat. Not everyone is good.”

Logan descends the stairs with a blank expression, he looks around the living room critically, “It appears he was watching television,” he drawls.

“Well, yes, I’m sure it appears that way,” Roman defends weakly.

“You chased my dark strange son away for watching cartoons,” Patton looks like he might cry. “Ro, he may never come back down here again!”

“While I doubt that’s true, he may be reluctant to leave his room for the foreseeable future.”

Patton shoots Roman a sad look.

Roman huffs, “You won’t make me feel bad. It’s not happening.”

“Ro...” Patton whispers in a pleading voice, “He didn’t even do anything.”

“Maybe not this time,” Romman mumbles defensively.

“Any-” Logan pulls out a vocab card “-beef, you have with Anxiety is merely because he’s doing his job. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean you can treat him like a criminal for every little thing he does.” Logan states firmly.

Roman groans, “Why do you always take his side?”

“Because he needs the support,” Patton shoots Roman a firm look, “You shouldn’t be so mean to him, Ro. He doesn’t mean to make you mad, he’s just doing his job.”

“Okay, okay! Enough with the guilt trip! I’ll apologize to him!” Roman stomps up a few stairs before Logan stops him.

“Not tonight,” Logan looks at both sides seriously, “Neither of you should bother him anymore tonight. He needs some time to breathe. We can discuss it in the morning.”

Patton nods sadly, “My poor kiddo...”

Roman rolls his eyes, “Whatever, I’m going back to bed.” He never even gets the glass of water he came downstairs for in the first place.

*****

Virgil spends the rest of the night on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. For someone to come pounding on his door, demanding an explanation for the previous night, and his solemn oath to never do it again.

Neither of those comes, not even in the morning, when Virgil is sure everyone will wake up angrier than before.

Roman was probably furious. His worst enemy lounging on the couch.

Virgil waited all day for that pounding knock, it didn’t come. Instead he spent the whole day expecting it. And being shocked when he heard a soft tap early on in the evening.

“Kiddo? I brought you some pizza?” Patton. Probably to lull him into a false sense of security. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore the moral trait.

“No thanks, I’m good.”

Outside the door, Patton frowns. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Virgil wants him to leave, he wants him to leave. The silence stretches on for long enough to make him start to think he had.

But then, “Anxiety, I’m sorry Roman chased you out of the living room last night.”

Virgil freezes, his entire body tenses up. He knows he should say something but his entire mind has gone blank.

“He really shouldn’t have done that, kiddo,” Patton continues, “I’m sure he feels bad about it.”

Virgil seriously doubted that, Roman didn’t feel bad. About anything, ever. “It’s fine, I shouldn’t have been down there anyway.” His voice sounds nonchalant, but the fact that this was just another way he’d never be accepted made his heart ache.

“Oh, Anxiety, no!” Patton cries in a horrified voice, “Kiddo, you’re allowed to be in the living room.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks, Pat.”

“I mean it.” Patton’s voice had done solemn and serious. “Roman shouldn’t have chased you out, you have just as much of a right to be there as the rest of us.”

Virgil sighs and climbs off the bed, he stalks to the door and swings it open. Patton blinks at him in surprise, “You don’t really want me there. I appreciate the thought, I really do. But you and I both know I’d make it awkward. No one really wants the embodiment of fear and nervousness in a room, Pat. Thanks anyway.” He attempt to shut the door, Patton stops him with his foot.

“Wait! That’s not true at all, Anxiety. I’d love for you to come downstairs and hang out with us. Logan doesn’t mind you doing so, either.”

Virgil nods, “And Roman?”

Patton grimaces, “He’ll come around. But he doesn’t own the living room. You have just as much right to be there as he does.”

Virgil shakes his head, “I don’t want to piss him off.”

“Language,” Patton warns lightly, “and he’ll get over it. Why don’t you come down with me? I won’t let him chase you out again, promise.”

And he looks so hopeful, and Virgil didn’t even realize he’d nodded until he felt Patton’s hand grab his and suddenly he was being pulled along downstairs.

“Wait, Patton!” Virgil protests.

Patton stops in the middle of the hall, “If you don’t want to go, I won’t make you. But I really don’t want you to feel like you’re not allowed downstairs.”

Virgil nods, “I just don’t want a repeat of last night, I’m sorry I ran away. It was just...”

“Overwhelming?” Patton offers, “that’s okay, Anxiety. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just glad you’re not mad at me, I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. And besides, Roman promised me he wouldn’t do that again.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, I think Lo and I made him feel bad. He shouldn’t have chased you out.”

“I—are you sure he’s not more mad now? He did find me downstairs in the middle of the night.”

“Which you’re completely allowed to do,” Patton replies.

“I’m just saying, it was odd. And I know I’m not the easiest person to trust. Just...don’t be too hard on him about it, okay? He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Do you really mean that?” Virgil whirls around to see Roman standing at the end of the hall.

“Jesus! Are you trying to kill a guy? Who sneaks up on Anxiety?” Virgil cries exasperatedly.

“I wasn’t sneaking up on you, I just happened to over hear. But you really aren’t upset with me for last night?”

Virgil shrugs, “I was in your living room in the middle of the night. It’s fine.”

Roman shakes his head, “It isn’t, you...you were just watching cartoons. I’m sorry.”

Virgil’s eyes widen in surprise, “Thank you.”

Roman offers a tentative smile, “Would you like to come downstairs and watch a movie?”

Virgil smiles, “Yeah, thanks, that sounds great.”

Patton squeals excitedly, “I’m so glad you two made up! Now! Let’s go get Logie to make us snacks!”

__________

I just ran with this i don’t even have an explanation

Taglist: @idont-freaking-know @aceawkwardunicorn @emo--nightmaree @a-yeet-bop-bop-boom @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink @katlikethesword @tranquil-space-ninja @book-limerence @cute-and-angsty-princess

#sanders sides #platonic lamp #platonic moxiety #ts sides #fanfic #thomas sanders #ts roman #roman #roman sanders #ts patton #ts virgil #Patton #Patton sanders #Virgil #Virgil sanders #Logan #ts Logan #Logan sanders

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delimeful · 4 years ago

Text

taking the fall (1)

BTHB: Framed

decided to return to my borrower roots for this BTHB prompt! it was fun to work in a 'verse like this again.

warnings: snakes, injury, captivity, janus being a little bit of a prick, using 'it' for a person

Virgil should have known something was up from the moment Roman wasn’t there to greet him at their normal rendezvous point.

It was a little alcove between the roots of a sapling on the border between the oversized apartment building and the small forest Virgil called home. The perfect compromise for soft insiders that were terrified of local wildlife and outies like him that wouldn’t be caught dead in a human building.

He’d waited there for about two marks after their normal arranged meeting time, and when someone had finally arrived, he’d been on the brink of irritability. It hadn’t lasted long, not in the face of the other borrower’s clear panic and weariness.

“What’s going on?” he’d asked, and was then treated to a rambling, half-incoherent explanation about how Roman was desperately sick and hurt, and they couldn’t find any human medicine but they knew he had to have something up his sleeve, right?

He’d tried to ask for symptoms, make it clear that he would have to figure out exactly how sick Roman was before finding the necessary herbs to treat it, but the other borrower-- what was her name? Elli? Ari?-- was persistent and desperate, and hurried him into the apartment despite his protests. He’d even had to leave his spear behind to fit in the walls properly.

Despite his complaints, he wouldn’t leave a friend in need just because they were stuck in a bean’s walls. So he went, and he was so intent on mentally taking stock of his current medicine supply that he only barely noticed when the insider-- Mari? That sounded closer.-- led him to a crack in the wallpaper that led directly into one of the human’s homes.

He’d dug in his heels there, but only for as long as it took her to weave a story about Roman being stuck under a television stand and too weak to be towed back to the nearest exit. Like an idiot, he’d believed it, too consumed with worry to question her further. If Roman, master of putting up a facade of bravado, had admitted he didn’t think he could make it to an exit, things were worse than he thought.

He’d swallowed down his nerves about being so out of his comfort zone in the name of helping Roman and maybe even doing something that would make the insiders stop looking at him like something scraped off a human’s shoe. Relatively speaking, he’d felt pretty good about it even.

Then, as they sidestepped past the faucet in the kitchen, a pair of hands firmly shoved against his back, hard enough that he didn’t have a chance to recover.

And now he was here, in the bottom of a human’s shiny, slick-sided sink, leg throbbing, looking up at the insider who’d put him there.

“Sorry,” she had the gall to say, “but I don’t have any other choice.”

Virgil may have been gritting his teeth against the pain, but he always had time to snark. “Really? You hate me so much that you had to do all this?” Insiders. Couldn’t even get their own hands dirty.

“What? No.” The borrower’s expression was hard to make out from all the way up on the counter, but her tone was incredulous. “No, I just needed-- I was seen. You get it?”

“I get that you’re out of your mind,” he bit back. “Don’t you people have a rule for that? I thought you were supposed to move out, not push someone into a sink!”

“It’s hardly even spring, and we don’t have enough supplies to make it!” the backstabber protested. “We’re not outies, and if this human doesn’t get what he wants, he could call pest control on all of us, not just me. He threatened it, even.”

“So that makes it okay to offer me up like some sacrificial lamb?” Virgil rolled onto hands and knees, and then bit back a whimper as he hurriedly kept all pressure off his left leg. Standing was out of the question.

“It’s for the good of all of us. And if you ever cared about Roman even a little bit, you’ll follow our rules for once and keep your mouth shut when he finds you.”

Virgil went still. “Was he in on this? Roman?”

Mari’s voice turned sorrowful. “Roman’s already gone. He was the first one to vanish, probably to this very human and his wretched snakes.”

“Snakes?” Virgil asked, his voice pitching embarrassingly high. And then, as his heart dropped, “Roman’s gone?”

Mari continued on, half to herself. “If he were still here, though, he’d be on my side. I don't know what he was thinking, cavorting around with you, but he knows that I’m just doing what’s best for the colony. We have children to look after.”

She took a step forward as she spoke, and then another, and Virgil felt his heart jump into his throat. “Don’t leave!”

He bristled helplessly at the pity-filled look she gave him, not halting her slow progression back across the counter ledge. “Like I said, it’s for the best. You’re not getting out of this, and me staying here would just give you false hope. I’m sure the human will be home soon, so just… try and come to terms with things.”

“Come to terms with things?!” Virgil howled as she finally vanished from sight. “You’re literally leaving me here to certain death for your own selfish ends! I could… I could help you move. I know how to travel safely, find food, for thunder’s sake don’t just leave me here!”

There was no response to his pleas, not even the sound of her footsteps across the counter. Roman wore soft cloth coverings to muffle his footsteps, Virgil remembered somewhat hysterically. He couldn't remember how far the exit was. How reassuring that even if he managed to get out of the sink, he wouldn’t know the first thing about surviving in a human house.

He was so fucked.

---

Janus sighed as he shoved his apartment door up slightly, twisting the knob and pushing it open so that the hinges didn’t make a sound. His footsteps were immediately muffled by the rug he’d placed at the door.

Just a few of the… security measures he’d come up with.

Really, if the little thieves living in the walls had any brains at all, they should’ve long ago memorized his schedule. Seeing as they avoided his traps so effectively, he didn’t have much hope of randomly catching one unawares.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t try. If he was lucky, he would at least unsettle them with how stealthy he could be.

Four steps into the living room, he heard it. A tiny clink, just barely audible past the fan lazily rotating overhead. It was coming from the kitchen.

He set his bag down, a disbelieving smile flitting over his face. Were they really that stupid, to steal food from his apartment when there were safer targets in practically any of the other units?

All the better for him, he supposed.

Carefully, slowly, he approached the other room, pausing to listen in the doorway. He didn’t see any movement on the counters, but…

Miracle of miracles, the noise came again. Janus recognized it this time— the sound of glass on metal. It was a dish being moved in the sink. He wondered for a moment if maybe it was just a small animal that had snuck in. Why would one of them be in the sink, after all?

He crept closer, and peered over the edge of the counter. Despite his doubts, it was a tiny person, slowly pushing one of the crumb-covered dishes towards the other side of the sink, where a small tower of dishware was building up. Janus couldn’t see a hook. The little creature didn’t seem to have any supplies at all, actually.

“Stuck, are we?” he asked, finally breaking his silence.

The tiny person jumped like a startled cat, and in the next moment, they were already trying to scramble up the makeshift stairs to freedom. Janus reached out and grabbed one of the glasses in the sink, plonking it over the little creature. “Not so fast.”

He took a moment to lean against the counter and observe them closer as they backed up to the far edge of the cup. Clearly handmade clothing, dark hair and sun-tanned skin, a badly-hidden limp from some injury in their left leg.

“You're not the one from before,” he mused out loud. “I don’t think they’d be dumb enough to trap themselves like this.”

That tiny expression darkened for a moment, but still not a word. Janus sighed, and decided that this was going to require more preparation than a glass, unless he wanted to suffocate the tiny stranger. He straightened up and walked out of the kitchen without a word.

One closet-scouring later, he’d found his prize and set it up in his bedroom, with only a little extra decoration for mockery purposes.

When he returned, the tiny person was pretending not to have moved, though the glass had clearly been shifted perilously close to the edge of the plate. Janus wasted no time in picking up the plate, glass, and passenger.

The tiny stranger dropped to hands and knees to brace themself, and Janus did try to make sure his steps were smooth so as to not agitate their wound. He wasn’t a complete monster.

Once he reached his room, it was simple enough to transfer them from the glass to the old terrarium he’d prepared. They made a lunge for his sleeves, as though to latch on, but between their injured state and Janus’s experience with snakes, he was quick enough to avoid them.

He clicked his tongue, but the moment he’d removed himself from the terrarium, the tiny person had ceased to focus on him completely. They immediately hobbled to press their back against the glass, staring at the fake plastic plants inside as though… Hm.

Janus tapped the glass, eliciting a flinch-glare combination. “There’s nothing alive in there but you. Relax a little.”

If looks could kill, Janus would have been dead twice over. He ignored the glare. “I know you can talk, so let’s skip the part where you pretend to be mute, shall we? You’re a new face, but I’m assuming you know who I am.”

Still no response. Janus rolled his eyes. “I suppose I don’t need you to be talkative if I’m going to be using you as a hostage.”

—-

Virgil couldn’t help the harsh laugh that bubbled out of him, shaking his head sharply like that would reverse the sound. What a joke.

“Care to share?” That oil-slick voice again.

The human looming over him waited patiently for an explanation, and Virgil scowled. He couldn’t imagine that Roman had done well under such pressure. The guy loved the sound of his own voice.

The thought felt harsher, now that he knew Roman was… dead. He’d never hear him again.

He shuddered, glancing back over his shoulder at the fake greenery around him. If this wasn’t where the snakes were kept, then where were they?

It occurred to him that he could ask. What was stopping him? Loyalty to rules that had already been broken? To someone who had already been killed by this very human?

“The snakes,” he said, voice barely there. He tried again. “Where are the snakes?”

“Oh? You know about them,” the human seemed pleased, sickeningly enough. “How about this, you answer my question, and I’ll answer yours.”

Virgil hesitated, but it wasn’t like the answer was giving all that much away. “You found me in a sink. No gear. Injured. You think the ones who put me there are going to give you anything? I’m not some valuable hostage. Just let me go.”

"I see." The human’s face had shifted somewhat, but it only assessed him for a moment longer before turning to the large, glass boxes nearby. It reached into one.

“They outgrew that old terrarium years ago, now I’ve got a much fancier set for them over here.”

The sentence seemed like nonsense, until the human returned with a snake wrapped around its wrist. Virgil froze, staring at the vibrant green coils as they shifted.

“This is Jekyll,” the human said, as though Virgil cared to be introduced to those beady yellow eyes. Though, it didn’t look large enough to eat an entire borrower. Virgil had faced larger garden snakes. “He’s the timid sort, no claim to the doctor title unfortunately.”

He watched the human rummage around in the other terrarium, and come back out with a much larger snake. He felt the blood drain from his face as the pale, patterned snake was brought closer.

“And this,” the human said, carefully running a finger along it's spine, “is Hyde. She’s a little moodier, as boas tend to be.”

Virgil slowly shifted back, knowing logically that there was glass between him and the creature, but also that the human could change that at any time. Had changed it, in Roman’s case. It was only a matter of when.

The human tracked his motion, head tilted in an uncanny parody of his snakes.

“I don’t let them wander loose in the household,” it said, finally. “They won't hurt you, despite what your friends may have told you.”

I only had one friend, Virgil thought, not stopping until he’d found the back corner of the cage, and that’s exactly why I don’t believe you.

He drew his limbs up around himself, silent, and waited until the human finally left him alone to start tending his wounds.

The more advantages he had for his escape, the better.

#sanders sides #g/t #borrowers #ts virgil #ts janus #ttf #taking the fall #writing #my writing #bthb #injury tw #ask to tag #angst #i guess?#i spent like an hour looking up snakes for this one #snakes tw

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