#stop being mean to me. im doing everything i can. i've been beating myself up over everything for the past 13 years. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thetriplets3 · 1 year

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melt - muse a holds muse b’s face gently, drawing circles into their cheeks with their thumbs

with matt its so cute

This is so cute I loved writing this please keep the requests coming <3

❊ delicate ❊

If there’s one word to describe how life has been lately it would be exhausting, in every aspect. I spend half my nights awake, restlessly tossing and turning thinking about the long list of things I need to do. I can’t seem to make the racing thoughts in my head stop.

I've isolated myself from my friends and more importantly, you. I’m trying to do a million things and keep my thoughts under control and not drag anyone down with me. Other than the odd text here and there to you we haven’t talked a lot in a week. I can’t help but feel bad. I don’t do this on purpose and you understand that, having experienced the same thing yourself. You give me space and know that I’ll come to you when I need help or when I’m ready.

Which brings me to now. Knocking on your door, I’m greeted by Nick who welcomes me in with a hug. He tells me that you and Chris have just gone to get groceries and should be back soon.

“I’ll let him find out on his own that you’re here” Nick tells me as he retreats to his room.

I send Nick a smile as I head to the comfort of your room. Simply being in your bed and the smell of your cologne is enough to make me fall asleep with ease for the first time in a while.

Matt’s POV:

Walking into my room I’m met with you sleeping peacefully in my bed. “Oh sweet girl” I coo to myself.

Taking my backpack and hoodie off and placing them on my chair, I carefully climb into bed trying to not wake you. I lie there facing you, happy that you feel safe enough to come to me when you need me. My eyes dance over your delicate features. My heart skips a beat whenever I look at you.

I love your eyes. They remind me of an endless galaxy that I never wanna leave, the way your eyes squint when you’re truly happy, how unknowingly expressive you are, the way everything about you's so perfectly suited, just for you. I can’t wrap my head around what there is that you could dislike about yourself. You’re the most beautiful person that has walked this earth and I can’t believe I get to call you my girlfriend.

Noticing you slowly start to wake up I place my hand gently on your cheek and begin softly rubbing circles into your skin. As your eyes open I can see the emotion and the toll this past week has taken on you. You don’t let this stop you from smiling back at me as your eyes flutter shut, taking in the physical contact you’ve been missing.

“You don’t know how happy I am to see you honey. Are you okay?” I whisper.

“I’m okay now that you’re here. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I don't mean to do it, it just feels easier to deal with it myself and not put it on other people” you whisper, sadness filling your voice.

“You’re not alone in this, I’m here for you, just like you are for me. Do you wanna talk about your week or do you wanna forget about it?” I ask.

“I know, thank you for being so patient with me. I wanna forget about it and just be with you right now. I’ve missed your touch” you say.

I open my arms inviting you in. You rest your head on my chest, tilting it up to look at my horse necklace as you fiddle with it. Wrapping one arm securely around you, knowing it makes you feel safe, the other makes its way back to your cheek. My thumb mindlessly draws circles on your soft skin. The warmth of my touch makes your eyelids flutter as they grow heavy, lulling you into a much needed sleep.

Even when things seem like they're falling apart, he's right there to pick up the pieces.

Taglist (msg me if you wanna be added)

@d0wnt0wnstu4n1ol0 @im-a-matt-girl @iluvmatt @antisocialties @stxrniqlo

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets

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og-danny-dorito · 2 years

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Would it be possible to request a hc of ghost who’s fwb with reader and he catches feelings like how he’d go abt that👀

hello!! sorry about the late response, but of course!! this is. VERY badly written and i ended up getting carried away and making it kind of like a fic so please be warned. i've hit a writing block recently so that's why it sucks 🚶

[ Ghost Catching Feelings For His "Friend With Benefits" ]

TW: mentions of sexual content. minors do not interact. small text included in post (warning for my visually impaired readers).

The relationship you and ghost have is very uhh... complicated. To say the least.

its not like no one's heard of the "friends with benefits" situation at some point in their lives, but he never really thought he'd be involved in something like that

it's even more of a shocker when he starts noticing that he wants a little more than the body that he's learned like the back of his hand

to be more specific, he wants your company. and regardless of whatever logical train of thought might go on in anyone else's head, to him that's a problem

ghost is very task oriented. when he starts to realize that he's developing feelings for you, he's going to do everything in his power to stop it

which means he's going to start avoiding you (rip)

usually he sticks around for a little bit after your little "meetups" are done, but ya'll start going back to square one with him just disappearing after he's done cleaning you up

the meetings start dwindling down in frequency and, eventually, to zero

it hurts your feelings, of course, but you know him well enough to know that he's not very confrontational when it comes to emotions and he's either lost interest in you or wants to stop for some other unknown reason

you won't pressure him to speak, but the fact that he doesn't even have the balls to tell you to your face pisses you off enough that you end up coming to his quarters one day after you get back from a mission

your blood is already boiling hot from the adrenaline of almost having you and 5 of your comrade's blown to bits, the fuel of not being able to take your energy out in the "usual" means fueling you enough to go banging on his door at an ungodly hour of the morning

only you didn't actually expect the door to swing open and reveal the very man you were only half searching for. and it doesn't look like he expected you either.

there's a long beat of silence where it doesn't really look like either of you know what to say, but you eventually speak up after searching his eyes for any sort emotion to go off of.

"Where the fuck have you been these past few weeks?!"

his stunned silence gives you plenty of room to rant at him about how upset you are that he ghosted you (pun fully intended im hilarious i know), not knowing what's been up with him and how HORRIBLE his communication skills are, how he didn't even have the balls to say that he didn't find you attractive anymore-

but you can barely get the rest of the words out before he pulls you into his room with a clean swoop and shuts the door behind him, throwing you off your balance enough to fall onto his cot with a guttural "hough!"

but you only have enough time to get your bearings before he sends you that look

yes, that look. like he's waiting for you to be ready to listen to what he has to say, arms folded against his chest as he stands in front of the door like he's guarding it

and after enough of a pause of silence for you to catch your breath and give him enough of an irritated but intent stare, he speaks

"I never said I didn't want you anymore. I didn't say anything. It was on purpose."

your eye twitches a little bit, sitting up with a groan. your muscles are already aching from the day but being thrown around certainly didn't make it better

"I... I didn't want to cross any lines. Found myself wanting more than just your mouth on me and got cold feet. Got nervous."

it's almost kind of odd how unsure he sounds, but you've seen this uncertainty in him before

he gets this way when he talks about something he thinks you'd like, or when you can see that you said something that made him want to laugh but he isn't letting himself do it

it's restraint, and you can see from the tightness in his shoulders that there's a lot of things that he wants to say that he isn't letting himself verbalize

but you choose to be patient with him, and sit up fully to lean against the wall and place your hands in your lap, waiting.

the silence between you eventually prompts you to speak, and you can't help the crease of confusion that furrows between your brows

"What are you saying? You uh... want me to... what do you want?"

the words make him stiffen a little, and for a second you can see his eyes flicker over you

it's something like desire, something you've sen a thousand times before in one of the many endeavors where he pursued you into some abandoned storage room in the base or played the game of cat and mouse that eventually lead into one of your personal quarters

only this time he looks more focused on your emotions and how you're processing the situation as if he's expecting you to figure it out on your own

aaand eventually the pieces start to click together. you don't... understand everything, but you get the idea of what he's saying to you

he wants you

not just your body, but you. as a person. it's something that burns slow as a realization, the flames making your neck and face heat up as you process what's going on

"You like me?"

his tone is soft when he responds. "More than that, love."

and so you sit in silence for a bit before he makes his move towards you

he's cautious at first, as if offering an opening for you to back out if you want, then goes in for the kill

you spend the night together like you have many times before, but somehow it feels different this time. more exposed, in a way.

he still doesn't take off his mask tonight, but over time he ends up getting more comfortable with it and makes an effort to remove it on occasion

like a lot of things in your relationship, the process of revealing himself both physically and emotionally is slow since this is almost entirely uncharted territory for him

he still struggles with feeling like he doesn't really deserve you or is somehow holding you down, but he barely ever verbalizes these thoughts since they reveal a more vulnerable side of him that he barely lets anyone else see

but even though it takes time, progress reveals that he's an incredibly caring lover and speaks with his actions where his words fail him

that and he's really possessive. but he was before you two were an item anyway so it doesn't change much

it's just that now he's a lot more open with his displeasure of others rather than having to resort just tracking them like a hawk from across a room or something

but overall i think that he'd be very tentative in going about actually establishing a relationship with you, but he loosens up later on and finds himself genuinely feeling safe with you and trusting you almost entirely

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resi4skz · 6 months

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A little drabble I wrote. I'm not in love with it :/

Pairing: Chan x fem!reader

Title: In Sickness and Health

On my way home from work, I felt my energy slipping and I knew something was wrong because as soon I stepped inside my apartment, I made a beeline for rhe kitchen. I popped 2 pain meds and took a huge gulp of water. Quickly changing into a shirt and shorts, I made myself comfy in my bed. I shoot a quick text to my boyfriend.

Y/N: baby, i dont feel so good. i think im gonna nap

Chan: do you want me to bring you porridge? Meds?

But I couldn't reply as I had fallen asleep while waiting for his message.

Chan: baby?

*Few hours later*

It's hot. It's cold. Why am I shivering? Ugh, why do my eyes feel heavy? I feel something cold on my forehead and it feels nice, refreshing. I try to open my eyes but it hurts. Everything hurts. "Mmmm," is the only sound comes out of me.

"Y/N?"

That voice....."Chan?"

I hear him release a breath of relief. "You gave me a heart attack."

"What's going on?" Jesus, what's wrong with my voice? "Why does everything hurt?"

"That's because you have a fever."

"What?"

"Sleep."

I didn't have the energy to speak so I went back to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The next time I open my eyes, they open with ease and everything doesn't hurt as much. Slowly sitting up, I glance around. But no sign of him. Wait, did I hallucinate him being here? In need of water, I walk into the kitchen only to be met with a view of the back of a man in front of the stove.

I scream bloody murder, making him jump and turning around. "Y/N! It's me!"

I put a hand over my heart, my heart beating faster than a bicycle. "Jesus!" Once my breathing and heart beat calms down, I suddenly feel dizzy bur he's quick to catch me. "What's wrong with me?"

"Well, considering you've been asleep for two days, this is bound to happen."

"Wait," I blink at his words. "2 days?" How the hell was I asleep for two days? I can't even fall asleep, even if my life depended on it.

He raises his hand and touches my forehead. "Well, your fever seems to be down so that's a good sign. What about other symptoms?"

"Other than starving, I'm good."

He chuckles, and oh, I've missed him. "I'm making porridge, kimbap and stir fried noodles." The moment he mentions the food, my ears perk up. He notices the change in my expression and laughs as he pinches my cheek. "How are you still this adorable even after waking up?"

I pout, rubbing my cheek which makes him laugh even more. "I just wanna," he doesn't finish the sentence, cups my cheeks and steps forward smothering me in kisses all over my face.

"Ah, stop!" I giggle, which turns into laughter. "Channie!"

But he doesn't stop. He keeps smothering me in kisses, not realizing he's walked me back against the kitchen island. "I've missed you."

My cheeks are warm and I feel good. I smile, poking his cheek. "I missed me too."

"Hey!" He protests by pouting.

I giggle, sliding my arms around his back. "Missed you too, big boy."

Smiling, he reaches down and places his lips on mine. The sudden heavy lingering odor goes up my nose as I scrunch it. "Is something burning?"

His face turns into fear and sprints to the stove. "No!" He shouts, his shoulder sagging.

"What happened?!" I asked, walking over to him.

"The porridge."

"Oh no," I say peeking inside the pot. "Baby, it's okay. I can survive on kimbap and noodles."

"But-"

I cup his cheeks, squishing them. "I'll wear your favorite lingerie if you make me the food."

His eyes gets a twinkling shine and his body reacts before I can step back. His hands reach the back of my neck, his mouth breathing on my neck. "Fuck, baby if only you weren't sick, I'd show you how much you really mean to me."

I grip his arms, giggling. "I need a shower first."

"Fuck, you're gonna be the death of me."

Giving him a kiss on the cheek, I walk into the bathroom and immediately turn on the shower. Getting all my good stuff, I take my time slathering and scrubbing my body till it's raw. Once finished, I wrap a towel around me and another around my head. Stepping out and into our shared room, I change into a comfy shirt and shorts before heading to the kitchen.

The table is filled with noodles, kimbap and various other side dishes. "Wha- Channie, this is so much food."

"And?" He says sitting in a chair across from me.

"You do know that I won't be able to eat all of it, right?"

He chuckles. "I know." He fills my plate with a little bit of everything before putting it in front of me. "Eat."

And I do just that. I even go for seconds. When I've finished, I slump in my chair with a hand on my tummy. He snickers and I glare at him. "This is all your fault."

"I didn't do anything?" He says, shrugging his shoulders with a mischievous look in his eyes.

I roll my eyes. And I instantly regret doing that action.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"No," I replied, slowly getting up from my chair.

"Yes, you did," he says, his eyes on me as I slowly back away, making a run for the room. "Hey! Get back here!"

In a split second, he's after me. I shriek, getting on the bed. For a moment, he stops sprinting and looks at me before lunges for me. But I'm quick to dodge and make a run for the living room. I quickly move behind the couch, giggling. "Hey, Chris. Did you lose your touch or something? You can't even catch m-Hey!" I had forgotten that he was quick and threw me over his shoulders. "Put me down!"

"Nope," he smacks one butt cheek making me gasp.

"Channie, please," I plead, squirming on his shoulders.

"Say sorr-"

"I'm sorry. Please put me down."

"Good girl."

He sets me down but I don't let go of him. With my arms wrapped around his neck, I plant my lips against his catching him off guard but he soons melts into it. I rake my hands through his hair, eliciting a moan from him when he breaks the kiss. "Y/N. What are you doing?"

His voice was low and deep which made me rub my thighs together. "What do you think I'm doing?" I asked, tilting my head as I slide my hand down to his grey sweatpants he was wearing and giving it a little squeeze.

"Fuck," he groans closing his eyes. "Babygirl, you're in no condition to-"

I shut him up with a kiss. "Shut up and take me to bed before I change my mind."

He grins, his dimples popping out. "Yes, ma'am." He then slides his arms under my hips and lifts me up with such ease. "Just so you know, I won't be able to stop myself."

"I never asked you to," I replied, smiling down at him.

That day, he showed me how much he loved me. We came out of the room to eat and drink, only to go back to our room hours later with me on top of him this time. He whispered sweet words in my ears and I indulged him with treating me as he wanted. Halfway through, he flipped me over and I lost count of how many times I went over the edge before he finally reached his peak.

I guess you could say he took care of me in sickness and health. And I was grateful for it.

#bang chan #christopher bang #chris bang #stray kids bang chan #stray kids #bang chan fanfic #fanfic #oneshot #straykids #skz fanfic #skz scenarios

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chilewithcarnage · 9 months

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My inability to be verbally articulate has potentially fucked up a job opportunity for me and I can't stop beating myself over it. No amount of practicing can outdo the social anxiety of speaking irl to another person in authority and I know we're supposed to keep doing things that scare us, but I just don't want to exist anymore because everything is expensive and I'm stuck living in an emotionally abusive household in a little nothing town.

im very sorry anon, i know first hand how its like dealing with social anxiety. i've gotten to a point where its not so crippling like when i was younger, but its still there. job interviews as well are majorly nerve wracking too. i see what you mean about the practicing not outdoing it. job interviews might be one of those things were probably never gonna be fully prepared for with steely nerves. but trust that its okay. im not a therapist or speech coach, so i can't give much advice on how to improve on the actual speaking portion. i will try to offer some comforting knowledge as someone who's been rejected after a lot of job interviews; its less likely they didn't go through with you because you stumbled over your words and more because they wanted to find someone with a longer resume that'd be more of an 'asset' to their company.

exist because there's value and beauty for you being here right now. the sum of your life will not be made up of heartache and hardships, trust. i do greatly hope that you can get some help to get out that bad situation though. i hope that you will soon be in a place where you can be comfortable, your needs are met and you're free to live and be loved the way you're meant to be.

#anonymous honesty hour

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 4 months

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Tw:hallucinations, religious themes, abuse

Seeking: reassurance and advice if any can be given

So, I hallucinate. I feel like bugs are crawling on me and biting me, I hear things such as it sounds a muffled conversation happening in another room while I'm home alone. I see shadow people and animals. Hear footsteps and feel like things are either jumping on my bed or violently shaking it. Along with being touched and feeling like someone is always behind me, about to grab me. And I've desperately tried to rationalize it as I'm a minor im still growing and so is my brain so maybe it's just my brain changing. And my mom is no help she just tells me I'm in tune with the spirit world. Lately all of it has gotten a lot worse like I can't sleep and when hone alone I'll sit frozen with some sort of weapon in hand and just watch the room because I'm so scared even when I know it's not real. And the one friend I trust to talk to about this is religious and they say its demons, and I should pray. I know they mean no harm by it. The problem is that I also used to be religious so it strikes an extra chord of fear and guilt into me when I'm already on edge and feel like I'm losing it, like at that point I'm desperate and about to get extra pious if it would make it stop even if I dont believe in it. I'm just so scared and tired. I feel terribly childish because this has actually made me afraid of the dark again which is really embarrassing at 15. But seeing and feeling things in the dark is so much worse and I lose so much sleep and I'm already often not in a good place mentally due to so many things and the lack of sleep makes everything so much worse. I can't get help because I would have to talk to my mom and tell her why and she already sees me as a hypochondriac so she doesn't take me seriously and she thinks the hallucinations are spirits. And I'm not willing to tell her about my mental state due to my lack of trust for her since she is abusive, or at least I think she is, which is according to anyone I've told about her. Because like I can't bring myself to trust her again. I'm not sure if I can ever forgive her. I've been beaten for simply crying too loudly and I was pretty little at the time maybe 4 or 6. She knocked the qind out of me by throwing i a water bottle at my stomach when I got frustrated with homework and because I had asked for help multiple times to no avail. I was like 9. In more recent events I've been punched for simply standing in the wrong place at the wrong time while she was in a bad mood. She through a glass at my head, missed and now there's a dent in the wall. We got I to an argument about who knows what, but she threatened to beat me with the belt, and I was so stupid for this, but I grabbed a bat and threatened to hurt her if she tried. And that was so stupid because maybe I would have gotten away if I had had just shut up. She took the bat from me beat me across the back with the belt. And I ahet myself so much for this, but when I'm scared I laugh, and I started laughing. And in the past this has benefited me because it weirded her out but this time she got angrier and hit me in the back kf the head with the belt buckle. After she left she kept coming back to try and restart the argument and I didn't react because reacting never helps and usually escalate to a beating. But I got called stuck up and other things and u think eventually I started arguing back and she pinned me to the bed and started punching me repeatedly which left my arm all black for like two weeks. Then she started throwing my candles at me, which are really heavy and bruised up my leg. And another time she nearly backed the truck into me after she yelled at my to get out and for the next month or two threatened to do it again. Then she eventually tried to tell Me it was an accident, but I don't know what to believe because she threatened me. She's just done so many things. I'm sorry if this is too detailed or triggering or anything I just really needed to get it all off my chest.

-Nyx

Hi Nyx,

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been experiencing. I wonder if the hallucinations you experience are exacerbated by the abuse you've been suffering and the religious comments that may be enabling them. It definitely sounds like your mom is abusive physically and emotionally and that makes me concerned about your safety and wellbeing. I strongly recommend reaching out to a crisis line such as 741741 or 988 and they can help you get in touch with more appropriate resources from there, whether it's SCR or a shelter. Please also feel free to browse this spreadsheet of alternative crisis resources. If anyone has any other recommendations, please feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw physical abuse #tw religious abuse #nyx

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atinylittlepain · 10 months

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I finished Deliver Me from Nowhere immediately after you posted the final chapter. I flew through it, furiously, needing to read the ending before I could take everything in. But even as I did I captured so many lines and passages in my head. The final chapter was absolutely stunning. I don’t mean this as any offense to writers on tumblr or fan fics but when I read your work it feels so much bigger, so much more real, profound, beautiful than this platform gets credit for. Or you, really. Your work reads like short stories I read in The New Yorker. It deserves so much more than this.

These words struck something in me…

“This isn’t want, after all. Want isn’t big enough for whatever this is. Something deeper, something threaded in with all the sinew and stretch of bone, ligament, and beating tissue. This is need. Vital and visceral, and so very precarious.”

“Want is a child. But need is an animal. Need is base, bruising, battering. There is no escaping need. There is no lying about need. There is only offering it up, and hoping that someone will see it and decide yes, animal, come here, let me do something about your need, and you can do something about mine.”

“For now, the feeling of her ribs expanding and contracting against his side is all the goodness he could want, or even need. Pain yet to be understood in all the places that her breath catches. But for now, she is looking at him and smiling, and saying something about the sheep that makes him laugh.”

But this. THIS:

“In the kitchen, he would feed her his heart if he could. It’s hers anyways.”

This is everything ^^

- Please don’t ever stop writing. Ever. ❤️

Hi, so, yeah, ive been holding onto this message for two weeks now :')

i fucking love the passages you picked out because they were ones that felt important to me too - really essential viscera of this story

im gonna be so honest for a moment, just between you and me (and the rest of tumbles lol) but i've been seriously questioning my place here on tumbles - full disclosure, i started out here back in january (woof, almost a year ago) in the mindset that what i was writing didn't count as writing for me bc i was writing for the sole purpose of turning out work i thought people would like on here - and they did, and i did that for a long time, got a lot of notes on pretty vapid work etc etc, and even though i wasn't thinking about it as writing, it was a sort of stretching and contracting of musculature that eventually changed and evolved into me writing what i wanted to write.

i think june was the first departure from the canned fics i had been producing to something a little more my style, and a little less desirable to the masses of tumblr lol

the notes got fewer and fewer, but the readership ive had for works like june and deliver me (and even my cannibals, hi, freaks love ya lmao) is so close and lovely and that's been far more rewarding - getting messages from folks that this work has somehow touched them or made them feel seen or just loosened some essential emotion in them enough that they can process it and let it move through them - i love that, and writing these fics has done much the same for me - and (not but, and) and im also having growing pains

i keep coming back to fic bc it's safe and comfortable and i use it as a crutch - stakes are lower when you aren't thinking about querying or publishing or "good enough" - but, again, being honest, the fic thing doesn't feel good any more - it feels like what it is, me trying to fit something that doesn't fit any more, trying to cramp myself into something and expect people to like it when it's simply not what they come to tumblr for

ive been fighting myself on this for a while, slowly inching my way out of fic and into the reality that i want my work to go elsewhere and trying to believe that i have the chops to make that happen - your message is such a buoy and encouragement toward that future

let me make something very clear here, this is my experience, i am by no means shitting on fic writing in general at allllll - people are doing amazing shit on here, no doubt, this is just where i'm at personally with it - ive said it before and ill say it again - writing begets writing, and without all the fic i wrote this year, i know for a veritable fact i would've never gotten my first novel this year either - but i think it's time for a shift for me

all this is to say that i think an era is ending, but i'm so grateful i got it to begin with to have had the chance to share work with folks like you. maybe you'll see me in the new yorker one day :)

#deliver me from nowhere

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menalez · 2 years

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Hi Mena. This is gonna be long. I'm an 18 year old girl and it's been a year since I'm utterly unable to study. I've dedicated my childhood and most of my teen years to studying mostly, to the point where I barely leave the house for any other reason than to go to class and school. My elementary school was especially vicious even though there was no need for me to spend most of my childhood studying to the point where my homework wouldn't end even at night. I was insanely stressed because the amount of homework they gave us was so much that I'd call my friend 6, and yes 6 times a day to make sure I haven't missed any homework. Teachers at elementary would usually take advantage of the quiet students' lack of self confidence and unconditional politeness to be absolutely vile to me and quiet students like me. They'd legit passive aggressively or aggressively lecture me for an hour for something I had no part in and was done by my other, more confident and vocal classmates who'd clap back at the teacher if lectured. Once one of them beat me and my friend up for using the restroom at the same time. No we didn't goof around. We just used the restroom and came back...and she gave us the permission for it!! Students were vicious to each other and even more vicious to me as I couldn't stand up for myself. That's my fault, but anyways. I do not know if I should blame the teachers, but some of them visibly self harmed in our presence and now that I'm older, I realize they had sadistic tendencies too. But I don't think that's their fault. I hope they're doing better now.

Fast forward to high school, the homework was still too much, still had shitty classmates, but at least they didn't attempt to murder me twice. But teachers were excellent! They didn't try to bond with us or have heart to heart talk with us about anything. Didn't try to act like we're their children. Didn't pretend to care about us. Didn't do "tough love" or whatever the fuck that means; they just didn't let anyone disrespect them and that's it. Didn't act like they owed us anything other than teaching. Didnt try to teach about morality or religion. They'd teach, help us with our academic problems, and then just leave. It might sound bad, but I don't care. I loved my teachers for being teachers, for being good at their jobs, not more or less. I'm still in contact with some of them and they are absolutely awesome. I told about my experiences in elementary school to my classmates and they told me to stop midway because it upset them. That was when I understood what I experienced wasn't normal.

In Corona, our online education was basically torture as it lagged 13 times per session, so I had to study on my own. Now the school is finished. I haven't had legitimate education for I suppose two years now, and I'm actually privileged to not be one of the girls in villages who can't and couldn't afford the technology to be connected to the exams at the very least, and had to give up on education. My heart absolutely goes for them, but I'm powerless.

But still. I'm struggling, and I'm tired of hiding it. Being a student was most of my identity. It was and is more important to me than being the daughter of my family, or being a sister to my little sibling. That was my most important identity. Please tell me how I can go back to studying the way I did? Im overwhelmed by bad memories when I try to study and I struggle to breath. I can't stand the sight of books anymore, and I'm being shamed and called lazy for it. I can't enjoy the subjects I used to enjoy. I didn't sacrifice everything that I did to be a jobless woman who will have to rely on a culum who will legally have the right to my body and more than half of my life choices under the law. Actually, my father, despite being very misogynistic on a lot of instances, cared about me enough to have a heart to heart with me and tell me what's up, instead of trying to marry me off and tell me it's safe to rely on men. He was honest with me, he told me as it is, and his biggest fear is me relying on my potential SO, and I'm privileged for it.

Now...how do I get back to studying? Do you have any suggestions? I can't bring up my issues anymore because it's used against me to justify barring women from education, while boys can unashamedly drone about their struggles with school.

your reaction to studying honestly sounds a lot like your former experiences with education deeply traumatised you. bad associations, what sounds like panic attacks, being flooded with negative memories… that’s either trauma or anxiety rooted in trauma. if seeking a therapist to help break these associations and instead associate positive things with studying is not a possibility for you, then i guess you’d have to break that association yourself. the way i’d suggest doing that is to break it down to very small steps. if you can’t stand the smell of books, would you be able to stand the smell of certain books or some papers or sth else? or perhaps have books around you (the kind u can smell) & do something positive & that u enjoy while smelling the scent of the books. this’ll at least help you not associate the smell of books with something deeply negative. the same can be said for other aspects, like if studying itself is automatically associated with negative memories for u is it possible to perhaps break down studying into very small sections, ensure you do it in a happy + safe environment and reward yourself before, after, & in between the study session? while doing these things, it also helps to write yourself notes about how it felt, if negative think of how you could think of the situation differently or feel better about the situation. if positive, make note of that too bc it’s good to show urself that its nothing too bad nor out of reach. basically i’m suggesting that u try to condition urself into associating studying with positive things rather than the very negative experiences you’ve had. it’s hard to do it on ur own, but it’s possible. trying to be consistent with this pattern and with the positive things you make the situation better with can help. besides that, practicing mindfulness around it can help. for example just dedicating some time to focusing on a book (look at it, hear the sounds it produces when u flip it and such, smell it, feel it… can’t taste it for obv reasons). while that sounds boring & dumb it can perhaps make u also associate book smells less with negative things.

those are the tips i’ve got off the top of my head but honestly it’s probably easier to find a therapist who perhaps specialises in therapy against phobias (such as exposure therapy) bc they generally can figure out how to break it down into smaller steps (better than i can at least dhdhshs). if thats possible id advise that above u trying to do it alone (requires a lot of discipline which i personally do not have & strength too). idk if that helps and i cant think of any other tips so if anyone has better advice.. pls feel free to help here 😭

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away-ward · 11 months

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Hey, a genuine question. Why do you guys think michael and kai didnt care for emory? Because we saw them being protective of alex but not emory? I feel like both of them did care a lot for emory though, otherwise, they wouldnt have taken the jail sentence for beating up her brother (especially when that record stays in paper), and they wouldve treated her like any other side-hoes in this series. i feel like they just didnt know how exactly to approach emmy by the end of nightfall after all that revelation, orgies, marriage etc., because shes been gone away from thunder bay and them longer than she had been in their lives, so to treat someone who did not only had jailed them (even for valid reasons), but was never their friend like alex, or to show emmy even more intimacy than alex who had supported them through so many things, is a bit much, no?

Changes will take a while for michael, kai and emmy, unfortunately, but i dont think it's not understandable, given the context of the situation. + Alex's rika's bff, and theyve all been having orgies here and there. Banks kinda like alex too, so that means kai kinda likes her. Tbh, I wished pd had obliterated everything that is alex-related in this series, but i can see why kai and michael were closer to alex than they were to emory, even if i hated her whole arc in this series, especially in conclave in nightfall. Thank god we didnt see her as much in firenight.

Other than that, I think even emory admitted that alex was more of a friend to will and the horsemen than she ever was because she kept on rejecting them (in a way?) and their way of having fun. This was emmys one of many roots of jealousy but its not like anyone's stopping her from going back to thunder bay and confessed to them earlier and try to reconnect with those guys? Whats stopping her? And she admitted it took her long to admit to want to be part of that too because of legit and valid reasons. Just as much as will never reached out to emmy, she never did either. We understood that she was going through a lot, but hey, the world doesnt stop the horsemen from having other friends or hookups, just because emory was not part of it, no? Idk. I hate alex's everything in this series, but i dont think her presence in the ending was unreasonable or out of place.

My unwarranted and honest thoughts about willemmy and nightfall in general though:

Tbh, emmy was better than me, because if i was her, i wouldve gone back to san fransisco, love and heal myself, then find some other men to date around with. No way in hell am i going back to will grayson, but again thats just me. I just cannot ever imagine being in her place and kept on being reminded of how much this man who "loves me, reaches out to me" kept on hooking up with everybody, and even their past hookups moans his name in front of me and the. talks about her bed not being cold anymore (insinuating that will nd alex hookup right after) and her escapade with my man in the pool in front of everybody, and then still emmy goes "oh yea, i'll still be with will". Not to mention emmy was kidnapped because aydin was jealous of fucking will? And he took her on dates here and there? Even had scenes of them bonding but not his bonding with emmy? What the fuck? Emmy was so better than me because if i was in that train, i wouldve slap alex and will to death, idc. Alex doesnt deserve emmy as her friend, and will doesnt deserve emmy as his lover.

Emory Scott deserves better. Emory did not girlboss her way out of her abusive relationship with her brother and that horrible town only for her to end up with useless will grayson. I guess, if thats what she wants, good for her, but as her supporter, god, i wished she chose a different life for herself. Sorry, i love emory scott, but i'll never agree with her love for and her choosing of will grayson, because he is soooo nothing!? 😭 idk, im just a will grayson hater ok, he is the blandest character i've ever get to read, right after michael crist, and winter ashby, because the first one got to be michael and kai. Rika and dmaon were annoying as fuck, but at least they were doing their annoying shit everywhere, I feel like the most top two star review of nightfall on amazon by a user called nia (you can check it out through the app or the website on the amazon page), exactly describe why will was so fucking unlikeable and undesirable in nightfall for me. By the end of the series, i was so done with him and everyone, especially rika, michael, damon and alex in that order, that i just felt like i never want to see these characters anywhere or any books by pd ever again. This series was such an unnecessarily exhausting read!!! And It wasnt the good kind of exhaustion. The MMC, Will, was dissapointing, idk if this was discussed here before, but he was so similar with corrupt michael, i just had to stop several times while reading from wanting this book because of this tupod michael-will cross over. I hate them 😭 but thats the thing, i hate damon even more, idkkkkkkkk 😭 my hate list of this series in this order (putting aside other characters thats not main): Martin, Damon, Michael, Will, Alex, Aydin.

What about you, do you have a hate list too?

Hey. I assume this is a response to this post by @pro-logue-epi-logue. .

I will say that I don’t always 100% agree with everything I reblog from other people. Sometimes if I agree with a certain part or just want to show support. In this case, I shared the same sentiment that the Chosen/Found Family aspect of the story could have been better.

If you want to know what @pro-logue-epi-logue meant when they wrote that post, you'll have to ask them. But I can talk about my opinion.

Edit: one thing I did forget to say that I wanted to mention is that there isn't anything in my response is fact or canon. I think, like most of us, that what's being discussed is all interpretations of canon events and the characters. I'm also not trying to persuade anyone to my opinions, as I don't think even I can, or ever have in the past.

Anyway, carry on.

Why do you guys think michael and kai didnt care for emory?

I can’t speak about anyone else’s reasoning, but for me, it’s not that I don’t think that Michael and Kai dislike Emory. What I wanted was for stronger evidence of their bond, since we’re supposed to believe that they are to become a family unit. After they get off the train, though, we only see Michael interact with Emory once. Farther, in Fire Night, I felt that Kai’s interaction with Emory was… chilly, especially when compared with the much warmer interaction that immediately followed between Kai and Winter. This is just my opinion, however, and I’ve spoken with other fans who have felt differently.

I don’t believe that Michael and Kai dislike Emory. I just don’t have enough information to understand their friendships or bonds, which is lousy since I really want to. I think Michael and Kai are both supposed to love Emory. We just don’t get the opportunity to see it.

Because we saw them being protective of alex but not emory?

It has nothing to do with how they treated Alex over Emory. My opinions about the bond Emory would share with any in the group are completely separate from Alex.

otherwise, they wouldnt have taken the jail sentence for beating up her brother (especially when that record stays in paper), and they wouldve treated her like any other side-hoes in this series.

I completely disagree with this idea because I don’t think it had anything to do with Emory. They are loyal to Will.

If Damon wanted to do something for Emory, he had all the proof and opportunity to do so. He didn’t. He was only there because Will wanted to be.

Kai wasn’t completely on-board until he saw Martin preying on an underage girl. After that, it became enough for him to make a move. He made the connection to Emory, but Emory wasn’t his motivation, either. Will was.

Neither of them would have been there if it wasn’t Will who suggested it. And Will wasn’t there for Emory either. He was there for himself, because he was angry. If he were thinking solely about Emory, he wouldn’t have put her at risk by targeting her abuser, who still had access to her through her grandmother.

Now, I don’t expect 19-year-old Will to be thinking all those steps ahead, but I also don’t believe his attacking Martin was for Emory. It was for him. And he suffered the consequences of it.

My opinion is that, in high school, Kai and Michael were mostly indifferent to Emory. They liked her well enough, because Will liked her, but other than that, she wasn’t on their radar. Damon disliked Emory because Will liked her so much. He understood her better when he saw the bruises, but that didn’t change his thinking that Emory was a potential threat to Will’s happiness.

i feel like they just didnt know how exactly to approach emmy by the end of nightfall after all that revelation, orgies, marriage etc., because shes been gone away from thunder bay and them longer than she had been in their lives

It's fine if, at the end of the events in Nightfall, they’re all still getting to know each other. Emory was difficult to know before she left. My problem is that Nightfall has an epilogue that's set 10 years after those events, as does Fire Night, and I still have no idea how Michael and Emory talk to each other, forget how they care for each other. And I have no other scene of Kai and Emory after the one of the train other than the one in Fire Night to get an idea of how they interact.

The problem lies with me. I had expectations of what a Chosen Family would look like and I found the ending to be lacking for a lot of the characters, but especially for Emory.

so to treat someone who did not only had jailed them (even for valid reasons), but was never their friend like alex, or to show emmy even more intimacy than alex who had supported them through so many things, is a bit much, no?

Again, I disagree that Emory was the one who put them in prison, and that might be the reason I struggle so much to like Kai and Michael after that.

They have every right to be mad. I just wish they had directed their anger to a more reasonable target, like Martin.

I’m still not sure how anyone could hear Emory’s story about how she dropped everything she had in San Francisco to fly back to Thunder Bay overnight in an attempt to vindicate Will, only to be physically beaten and threatened with her grandmother’s death, unless she lies on a piece of paper, and think, “She’s the monster here.”

To me, any reasonable person would immediately hate Martin and let Emory off the hook. She clearly suffered enough already.

So yeah, I didn’t agree with their response to Emory, but I understood their anger. My opinion is that it was misdirected, and that's my problem. Even if they were to direct their anger towards Martin, it still doesn't mean they had to like Emory.

I didn’t want them to treat her like of their own. Those bonds take time, and she hadn’t made any kind of dedication to Will at that point, but a little bit of reasonableness and understanding would have been nice. I can’t believe we have to look to Damon in that scene to find it.

Alex's rika's bff, and theyve all been having orgies here and there. Banks kinda like alex too, so that means kai kinda likes her. but i can see why kai and michael were closer to alex than they were to emory,

There’s no denying that Alex had earned her place in that crew. She’d bent over backwards to answer their needs for years before Nightfall. I’ve never believed Emory needed to replace Alex in their eyes. For me, it was never about Michael and Kai or any of the others immediately loving Emory to the same degree that they cared for Alex. That would have been just as weird to me, for the same reasons you mentioned. They don’t know her; they don’t have a reason to trust her. Not yet.

10 years later should be a different story, however.

This was emmys one of many roots of jealousy but its not like anyone's stopping her from going back to thunder bay and confessed to them earlier and try to reconnect with those guys? Whats stopping her?

Martin.

Her pride

The fact that she thinks Will is going to hate her and want revenge, and she still has her grandmother to care for. Remember, her grandmother only died 6 months before the events of Nightfall. That’s nine years she’s been caring for her every single day. She didn’t have the time to deal with Will.

She’s scared to face him.

the world doesnt stop the horsemen from having other friends or hookups, just because emory was not part of it, no? Idk. I hate alex's everything in this series, but i dont think her presence in the ending was unreasonable or out of place.

I think there’s a bit of a misunderstanding where I and Alex am concerned. See, I don’t dislike Alex because of the actions she takes in the books. I don’t mind messy characters who do things that I would never in a million years do. Sometimes, those characters are even more interesting because their story can be exciting.

For me, Alex is a boring, underdeveloped, inconsistent character. I really don’t care that the Horsemen value her. They absolutely should if we’re only looking at what she did for them.

I don’t care that she and Will had a sexual relationship, or friends with benefits, or that they had a close friendship bond. That part makes the most sense to me.

She’s just boring to read about, and that’s mostly why I pick on the things she does. Alex’s role could have been really impact in the end, without changing anything that came before Nightfall, if she’d been used differently. As a reader, you don’t have to like a character to see their purpose. I just felt she was misused in this instance.

I have nothing much to add to your last few paragraphs. I feel that I’ve defended Will Grayson and his relationship with Emory, Alex, and the others so many times before that I would just be repeating myself.

Bottom line, you don’t have to like Will or any of the characters in this series. They’re not all that great. For me, I had a fun time reading, I loved the overall vibe, and I enjoy the way the characters are in my head.

I just wish we got a better understanding of the Family over… whatever it is that we got in the end. Why do they even have enemies? All they’re supposedly doing is running their little corner of the world. And if we’re to believe Rika, “they’re not really criminals.” If that’s the case, then what are you doing??? And why do you have a secret society dungeon? And why does Banks never have a reason to talk to Michael after 10 years? What kind of "family" is this?

I need answers!!

Sorry, forgot to address your second question

I don't really have like a hate list. I mean, of course I don't like Martin or Gabriel, but I liked them as villains. They were decently written characters. And that's the way I like to judge whether it's a "good" character. If you were meant to hate them and you do, that's a well written character. If you were meant to love them and you don't, it's good to look at why.

And I'd never want to meet any of these characters in real life.

I guess I'd have to rate them based on the enjoyment I get from reading them, so to reverse that would be...

Winter, because I find her bland.

Alex, because her character annoys me.

Kai and Michael are currently tied, but I think it's because I was so disappointed in Kai that it hurts more to read from him whereas I don't really care for Michael.

Rika...

I think that's it. I could tolerate or found something interesting about the rest.

-KO

#asked and answered 165 #asked and answered #devil's night series #will grayson iii #emory scott #no alex tag #character discussion #i don't think i'm going to get my answers #lame

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cruelfeline · 2 years

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Entrapdak/Hordak songs currently in my listening rotation. And I'm marking what I find to be the best lyrics just because!

Work Song - Hozier Especially: "My babe would never fret none; about what my hands and my body done; If the Lord don't forgive me; I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me; When I was kissing on my baby; and she put her love down soft and sweet; in the low lamp light I was free; heaven and hell were words to me."

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin The entire thing. Like, I will cry.

All That You Are - Goo Goo Dolls Essentially all of it, but especially: "You, see me through; I was alone in the dark, and the fear was my truth."

What I've Done - Linkin Park So let mercy come and wash away; what I've done; I'll face myself' to cross out what I've bcome; erase myself; and let go of what I've done.

And especially: "For what I've done; I start again; And whatever pain may come; Today this ends; I'm forgiving what I've done."

On My Own - Ashes Remain "Every little thing that I've known is everything I need to let go; you're so much bigger than the world I have made; So I surrender my soul; I'm reaching out for your hope; I lay my weapons down; I'm ready for you now."

This one is particularly funny because I'm pretty sure it's Christian Rock and has the exact opposite meaning of how I interpret it.

I Don't Care - Ed Sheeran "'Cause I don't care as long as you just hold me near; You can take me anywhere; ANd you're making me feel like Im loved by somebody." Break the Cycle - You+Me All of it.

Like Half the Centaurworld Soundtrack Pretty much anything involving losing one's identity and/or being separated from a loved one against one's will. Dearly Beloved - AmaLee (From Kingdom Hearts) "My Dearly Beloved; Be strong, I shall be there; Always here beside you; So, keep your head held high; The shadows of this world; Will try to steal you away into their arms; But you belong in mine."

Falling Apart - Papa Roach "I'll follow you out of the dark; I tried it my way; But I keep falling apart."

And: "I stand here again; Forsaken in a place that feels like I can never win; I'm reaching for a saving grace' I can't even trust no one; I need to rise above; I don't think I'm good enough; To feel your perfect love."

Crush - Dave Matthews Band "It's crazy I'm thinking; And here, I'll be dancing on the ground; Am I right side up or upside down?' To each other we'll be facing my love, by love; We'll beat back the pain we've found; You know I mean to tell you all the things I've been thinking; Deep inside, my friend.; Each moment the more I love you."

Flames - David Guetta "Go, go, go; Figure it out, figure it out, but don't stop moving; Go, go, go; Figure it out, figure it out, you can do this; So my love, keep on running; You gotta get through the day; There my love, keep on running; Gotta keep those tears at bay."

Time Stands - Nathaniel Rateliff I don't actually know; just the whole sense of it, somehow; the melancholy of post-Prime recovery.

#entrapdak #hordak

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 2 years

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Hi bmt! Where do you think Jimin's and Jungkook's relationship stands? Overall/ as of lately? I have always been saying that they are close close, we'd see,hear things and we could tell that these 2 are close (im not gonna say together cos we dont know, or at least i dont) But all this talk about "oh look they're not interacting", "the fanservice is over" blah blah messes with you after the 50th ask you read lol. I dont know if you've talked about this already, if you have can you link me?

No, I haven't talked about it. You probably already noticed that I'm not keeping tab on every interaction/lack of it and what it means as this is not the point of my blog and even if both of them are my biases, I'm not going to spend time picking up apart every single thing. I'm not interested in that.

I think I know what you mean about those types of asks, I received a few myself for some reason, although it beats me why. My content is different that the usual shipping blogs.

But I do keep up with BTS in general and consequently I see Jimin and Jungkook. I don't think there is anything substantial to support the idea that they're not close. As I've probably mentioned before, friendships, like the one JM and JK have, don't fall apart just like that. Everything is fine and then next week it's all gone. I guess that for people having an opinion based on what they are only able to see, a rift could be visible if it's prolonged. Otherwise, I think all the members are media trained that even if something crucially bad might happen, they won't let that be seen immediately. But this is a situation that cannot be applied for JM and JK. The ones who are talking about them drifting apart are using lack of interactions on social media, which is bonkers to begin with. They want Jimin to post like he used to do, not taking into consideration that he's in another stage of his life and any type of relationship cannot be measured like that. But I don't need to explain this too much, I'll assume you understand the point.

The biggest example of why such theories are absurd is the time period when they all had their vacation because people were saying the same thing and then JM and JK were acting just as usual when they came back for the concerts in Seoul and Las Vegas. Not to mention the Festa dinner. Maybe it's just me, but if all of a sudden I would stop being close to a friend of mine, I would try to avoid getting into a conversation and that's not something that happened.

Anyway, I've written too much when it's actually not necessary. The point is, I think people expect too much or they have some ideas in their head and if the men are not acting according to that, then there is a problem. It's also way too much focus on microanalysis as it inevitably leads to missing the forest because of the trees. My advice for anyone who is interested, is to take a step back and just enjoy what you get if you like JM and JK as individuals and as friends and that's it. At the end of the day, their life belongs to them and no drifting apart asks or endless posts on tumblr, including mine, can ever be the one answer to a friendship to which we're barely privy to.

#bmt asks #jimin #jungkook #jikook

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hoediaz · 2 years

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for the ask game: F!! would love to know what dialogue youre most proud of (everything you write is SO good so im curious abt it!!)

omg THANK you so much that's so nice 🥺

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

ok this is. so hard bc i am Bad at complimenting myself nknknnd. i'll say that i Guess i'm pretty proud of most of the dialogue in the new girl au bc it's a lot of snappy group dialogue and i'm proud of all of taylor's dialogue in everything i've written her in just bc i have fun writing it nsknkk but for a specific scene i do love this exchange from tying you to me that i'll put under a cut to save everyone the length. i like that the dialogue itself is pretty short and straight to the point but it really cuts to the heart of the matter re: bucklucy and buck and eddie's shared trauma in this universe where they never met until the shooting, but that it's also clear that they understand each other. i also like the callback to earlier at the start of the fic, where buck tells eddie he wasn't in the bar (and eddie doesn't correct him, but then in this scene reveals that he already knew about lucy so he must have been in the bar) and that he doesn't look for him, only to admit that he's always looking for him. this fic was a lot about Soulmate-ism and Fate and Finding your way to someone that you're meant to know and i think this dialogue bit was just a good representation of that i GUESS idk no one look at me i hate being nice about my own shit

fanfic asks 🤩

the snippet in question:

Eddie says, “Why did you do it?”

There’s no point in playing dumb, but he has no idea what compels him to peel back his skin to admit, “Because it hurt.”

Another beat of silence. Eddie’s jaw shifts, clenches. “Yeah,” he says, almost too quiet to be heard over Buck’s playlist (and I have this dream where I’m screaming underwater). “I thought so.”

Buck feels horribly sober, a pressure on his chest he can hardly breathe around. He wants another shot, or maybe three. “You thought so? You don’t even know me.” He can’t quite keep the flint out of his tone.

Eddie doesn’t seem to care about Buck’s sharp edges, a soft smile ticking one side of his mouth up. “I guess I don’t.”

The thing is — Buck closes his eyes, so he doesn’t have to look at Eddie when he admits, “It feels like you do, though.” It’s strange, pathetic; that sad kid that just wanted someone to see him poking his head out and asking to be turned away.

But Buck blinks his eyes open, never able to stop himself from putting his hand on a hot stove, and sees Eddie looking back. Eddie’s eyes are brown — not like Taylor’s blue, and not really anything like Lucy’s brown, either.

They’re at a stop sign.

Eddie says, “I know.” His head turns, gaze sliding away from Buck and toward the road. He doesn’t take his foot off the brake. Buck watches the corner of Eddie’s mouth tense, his hands too-tight on the wheel. “You think that’s just the —”

“Trauma?” Buck fills in, tasting copper on his tongue.

Eddie blinks. The car doesn’t move. “Yeah.”

“Are we gonna talk about that?”

Another blink, brittle tension lining his jaw. Buck can see fracture lines all over him, as familiar as his reflection in a mirror. “No,” he says, “we’re not gonna talk about that.”

“Okay.” Buck’s not sure he could, anyway, not with this many drinks in him, not with Lucy’s smile still acting like a fresh bruise on all of his damage.

But Buck’s never been able to stop himself from digging up graves.

“I lied, you know,” he says. Eddie turns to him, a furrow in his brow. “I did. Look for you, I mean. In the bar and — and on calls and, Christ, at the fucking grocery store. I’m always looking for you. Don’t know why.”

#asks #honeyeddie #ask games #THANK YOU AGAIN U ARE TOO NICE

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peanut-butter-parkerxx · 3 years

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hickey prank...gone wrong

y/n wanted to prank the avengers for forgetting to hide a hickey she got from a 'mysterious boy' after she finished pranking them and telling them its fake, peter came in and NOT so subtly asked her when he did that since they're secretly dating

pairing: peter x stark!reader

status: secretly dating

y/n's pov

ive been watching a lot of youtube lately, it literally became my best friend, i scrolled through my recommendations and found a 'hickey prank' video, i smiled to myself already knowing im about to do it, and clicked on the video

It was a girl pranking her parents for getting a hickey, i watched the girl make the fake hickey on her neck, and i was considering to ask peter to do one for me that would be more entertaining but that would obviously backfire if i couldnt wipe it out

so i didnt ask him, another thing is that peter and i have been secretly dating for around a month now, my dad, tony stark, strictly told peter that i am off limits but were still dating and its been the best month ever.

anyways, i opened my vanity drawer and got my eye shadow pallet, i decided on a spot to make the 'hickey' and started adding dark colored eye shadow to make it look believable, the end result looked pretty good, and i know that from experience ;)

it ws on the right side of my neck right below my ear, i opened my two braids to cover the 'hickey' took my phone to record this i already know chaotic experience since this is the avengers we're talking about and left my room while i was walking in the hallway i got a text from peter saying:

MY baby 🥰🧸: coming in 15! xx

I squealed from excitment coz its been a week since ive seen him because of his exams and everything but back to the prank

i walked inside our kitchen/living room and the avengers were scattered everywhere since they just finished a mission and now theyre hungry af, perfect

i snuck my phone behind a bowl of fresh fruits and acted normally trying to contain my nervousness and excitement

"hey guys!" i said looking at the kitchen island that filled with delicious hot meals, yumm

"hey sweetie" dad said kissing my cheek, and everybody mumbled a 'hey' since they're too busy stuffing theyre mouths with food

"hows the mission?" i asked curiously, thor, sam and scott completely ignored me trying to stuff everything in, nat and wanda were talking about how stupid one of the men were for flirting with them and comepletely beat the shit out of him for makig inappropriate comment, my girls I thought and steve, dad, bruce, and bucky answered my question

they've always had a soft spot for me and hated whenever i got ignored, i smile at them grateful that they didnt ignore me even though i wouldnt get mad i mean im also starving

i continued on eating arguing with sam on who will get the biggest slice of the chocolate cake wanda made, but then i remembered i came here to do the prank so i decided its time

i looked infront of me checking if my phone is still recording and it was, its been recording for 8 minutes now so i excused myself from the table to go 'get some fruit'

i quickly grabbed an apple and rerecorded the video, "so what do you guys wanna do? peters coming in a few" i said taking my hair and secured it behind my ear, its been exposed its been exposed omg omg omg i tried to calm down a bit coz in any second someone could spot my 'hickey'

"oh, we could have a movie night, you know, coz peter finished school so we should celebrate" my dad said looking at me then looking back at his food but looked at me again eyes widened, he spotted it ABORT MISSION OMG OMG

I looked down at my food trying not to run from the glare hes giving me

"y/n?" my dad asked, his tone has never been this serious before, oh shit

"y-yes" i squeecked god pull it together y/n, its not real

"what is that on your neck" he pointed out, which grabbed everyones attention, great, all eyes were on me, steve, bucky and bruce widened their eyes shocked, wanda and nat were smirking, sam, scott, and clint were laughing their asses off while thor looked as clueless as a baby

i was sitting at the center of the table and i just wanted to sink in and get absorbed my the marble walls

"w-what do you mean?" i asked 'confused' i grabbed nats phone that was between us, opened the camera and gasped trying to act surprised and scared "I-I uhhh" I let go of my hair so it can cover it again "I-I burned my self while curling my hair" I nervously blurted out, wow I'm a great actress

"that does not look like a burn young lady what is that?" Steve buts in, anger literally fuming from his ears and eyes Bucky glaring at me trying to think of every boy I've ever interacted with

"I curled my hair uncle Steve!" I replied rolling my eyes

"THAT IS NOT A BURN HUN THATS A HICKEY" my dad got out of his chair clearly getting angrier by the second

"ITS NOT DAD, YOU THINK I COULD HOOK UP WITH BOYS WHEN IM BEING WATCHED 24/7?" I shot back standing as well, everybody gasped

"what is a hickey if I may interrupt"

"SHUT UP" the rest of the team said clearly enjoying this

"I wanna know who's D y/n got" Sam said laughing

"was he at least good?" Nad asked smirking

"please tell me you used protection" Wanda asked concerned

"WHO IS IT" all three of them said

"NO ONE!" I shouted

"why is he that important that you have to be so secretive of him?" Bucky suddenly blurts out tightening his fists so hard his knuckles could pop out

"maybe he's special" nat smirked

"y/n" my dad said in a warningly tone "if you don't tell us who this idiot is I swear I'm gonna let Bruce turn into the hulk and smash every boys house that you've ever interacted with" I felt like that was enough, and obviously got everyone's attention, I tried to contain my laughter coz they're faced are just hilarious waiting for me to tell them who it is

"it's....it's...a-a..A PRANK!" I laughed, everybody looked at me speechless clearly not buying it

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS A PRANK THERE'S STILL A HICKEY ON YOUR NECK" my dad shouted

"yeah a FAKE one" I took the wipe from my back pocket, wiping my 'hickey' and gestured to the smudged make up "SEE??" I laughed

Steve, Bucky, Bruce and my dad looked relieved, nat, Scott, Wanda, Clint, and Sam looked...disappointed?? And Thor was still clueless as ever, I walked to the counter to stop recording

"YOU WERE RECORDING?" Wanda scoffed

"do not do that to us a again young lady I was gonna get a heart attack" Steve warned leaving the table

"doll" Bucky said and I looked at him "if I ever see a boy with you this close" he gestured between him and I "I will squish their face and pull his brains out with my bare hand" he warned

and for a second I thought of Peter, I swear he's gonna get killed if they know what 'helping him study' and 'looking after me' means I just rolled my eyes at their stupid behavior

"so y/n didn't get any D yesterday? Poor thing" Sam laughs

"SAM I SWEAR YOUR NEXT ON THE LIST" dad said walking out of the kitchen

"for the first time in forever IM glad this was a prank coz the poor boy would've been dead just by the glares he'll get" I laughed shaking my head after the hilarious prank we cleaned up the kitchen island

"ok guys I'm gonna go to my room to clean this...mess" I gestured to my neck full of smudged make up

"hey guys, what did I miss?" Peter walked in the living room a few minutes after i left

"oh just y/n being y/n, she'll tell you what happened" Scott laughed which confused Peter but he ignored it m opened the fridge to get a snack and go to your room,

like I said it's been a week since he's seen you so he was very excited to kiss you hug you and just shower you with affection...in secret obviously

he knocked on my door doing our secret pattern and barged into my room

"HEY PETER" I almost shouted jumping onto him crossing my legs on his torso and snuggling my headphones to his neck

"hey baaaby" he whispered kissing my temple

"ITS BEEN AGES" I whisper shouted

"that it has" he whispered back finally connecting his lips with mine, And slowly walked to the bed, he sat down which resulted in me straddling his lap

"I missed you" I mumbled hovering his lips a bit

"I missed his more" his voice was lower than usual which made my hormones go haywire, he started pampering me with kisses

"I *kiss* miss *kiss* you *kiss* so *kiss* fucking *kiss* much" he said

"oh since when does innocent Peter Parker swear" i teased looking at his eyes

"since I've dated you" he shot back "when I started dating you, you made me feel and become like a normal horny teenage boy" he kissed me again

"well, im glad you feel...normal" I laughed, he started kissing my neck again and unfortunately my dad was walking past my bedroom at the time

"is this a bruise or just a very messy hickey I gave you, coz if it is I better fix it" he smirked already knowing it's not his but just finding an excuse to do one on me

"oh it's just a prank I did to the team which thankfully I recorded so you can see it"

"how bout I make it a real one?" He smirked

"Yes plea-"

"WHAT?" my dad barged in PERFECT TIMING DAD

"PETER BENJAMIN FUCKING PARKER YOU HAVE 3 SECONDS TO LEAVE THIS COMPOUND BEFORE I FRENCH FRY THAT WHAT I THOUGHT WAS INNOCENT BRAIN OF YOURS"

"RUN PETE RUNNN"

🏃‍♂️ 💨

Have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!

-quacksonlover

#spiderman #peter parker x fem #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker fluff #ned leeds #may parker #aunt may #the avengers #mcu #michelle jones #marvel #sony pictures #imagines #peter parker x reader #fluff #peter #parker #avengers

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sunarintoes · 3 years

Text

synopsis: Yn Ln is an environmentalist - Miyagi University’s very own campus ‘Green Thumb.’ One day Hinata Shōyō - who happens to be a close friend of Yn, invites them to come to one of his races. The only problem is that this race of his is… illegal. Follow the journey of Yn who has been sucked into the world of illegal street racing with one goal: to create an eco friendly race car!

wc: 1.3k

cw: reader has a panic attack and faints

Masterlist

1.6 Can We Be Friends?

‘Hey stranger. Been a while.’

How long has it been since you heard that voice? A month? Maybe two? Whatever it is, it has been a long time. You can not erase the memories of someone so important in such a short time, sure you can pretend to but your subconscious knows better. Maybe it was a mistake to push him out of your mind because now that he is in front of you everything comes back in an overwhelming wave of emotions. The good and the bad. You do not know what to feel - there is too much. Euphoria, a rush of happiness because he is finally back yet angst, he left you hurt and lonely. Wait. You stop your rampant thoughts, I’m with Kiyoko, you tell yourself, Oikawa was nothing more than a frien- a common stranger.

‘Heard you’re with Karasuno’s pretty manager…’

‘Mm.’

‘Thats uh, that's good for you,’ he pauses to take in a sharp breath, ‘About that day… a month, 3 weeks and four days ago-’

‘You counted?’

He looks away from you, ‘yeah…’ his voice is shaky and quiet, and you wonder why he is so nervous. Is it you? No, no it cannot be- you shake these thoughts from your head and concentrate on the man in front of you.

‘I've uh, I've missed being strangers with you.’

‘Yeah me too,’ he breathes out slowly, ‘If I'm completely honest- I'm uh... well. It's not that I'm not honest or that I find it hard to be honest or that I'm a liar. I'm not a liar, I promise. It's just that I uh, I just find it hard to find the right things to say and when I do it's just, it’s too late to say them or I'm too scared to say them or I can't will myself to say them. I’m a coward. Yeah a huge one- look I'm sorry! I'm really sorry for the way I acted, I took your care for granted and I uh should've heard you out. You're a good friend- no! Stranger! Yes. Stranger. You're a good stranger. I um…’

You look at him with a smile, ‘You’re rambling.’

‘Yeah, yeah I am. Sorry. I guess it's just what happens I- right. Basically, I want you bac- as a friend! No! As a stranger! Please come back to me? I miss your warmth and the comfort and solace that comes with a kind stranger-’

‘Me too.’ He looks at you with shock scribbled all over his face, ‘I've missed you too, Tooru. Maybe, just maybe…’

‘We can be friends?’

You giggle, and he follows suit. ‘Who knew we’d be in sync?’

‘Yeah that's weird, we only just reconnected y’know?’

‘I know right? Maybe it was meant to be?’ You say it jokingly but it idles in the back of your throat, you said it jokingly… right?

He hums lightly, ‘I've done some soul searching this past month.’

‘Oh yeah? Have ya found anything?’

‘I think… But I'm not sure yet. I'm not sure when I'll know but I hope I can find a conclusion soon… Maybe, maybe you can help me? And give me some advice like you used to?’

‘As a friend it'll be my honour.’

Oikawa feels heat prick at his cheeks, ‘Not now’ he whispers to himself.

‘What was that?’

‘Maybe later? We can head over to the gas station and get a good ol’ vanilla bean frappe?’

‘Sounds perfect.’

‘Racers head over to the cockpit! The drag race begins in t minus fifteen minutes!’

‘Saeko’s as loud as ever huh?’

‘Well she is in charge of the announcements,’ you laugh, god he’d missed that laugh.

‘Guess I better head over huh?’

‘Yeah I guess you better, I'll be cheering for you - quietly of course. Can't let my team know,’ you wink at him, ‘Oh and Tooru?’

‘Hmm?’

‘Nice makeup. The glam look suits you.’

He flashes you a gorgeous smile and honestly? That’s just as good as any other reply he could have said. You turn around and head back to Karasuno’s garage, ‘Shit’ you curse to yourself, ‘Why is my heart beating so fast?’

✄.

‘Yn! Where’ve you been? I've been worried sick!’

And like a harsh wave on a windy day, you feel a rush of guilt splash over your whole body. You had forgotten, even if for a little while, that you had someone - that you had Kiyoko. Oikawa’s just a friend you tell yourself, you only feel this way because he is finally back. Nothing more, nothing else.

You look up into her beautiful, deep blue eyes and this time, for the first time in a long time, you notice how much she cares for you. It is so obvious, the way she looks at you like you are the only one in the room and it's so, so unfair. It's unfair that you cannot look at her that way. She deserves someone who loves her just as much as she loves you and you hate yourself, you really do, because you know you’ll never love her like that.

And then it strikes you. You only want her for her body. And the wave of guilt? It becomes a tsunami and suffocates you from the inside out. You feel your heartbeat speed up - when did it become as fast as the race cars? Then suddenly the tight, unforgiving noose around your throat ties itself stiff, you can't breathe. The last thing you hear before your world fades black is the desperate cries of Kiyoko, what’s she calling, you ask yourself, god… she's calling after me. I wish I could call out to her.

✄.

You wake up to a familiar scene, you are at Kiyoko’s.

‘You're finally awake.’

You turn your head towards her soft voice, ‘Mm Kiyoko? What happened?’

‘You went missing for about 15 minutes before the race started- or well before we had to get ready. When you came back you fainted and Asahi helped bring you here.’

‘I’m sor-’

‘Don't apologise. Just tell me what's on your mind.’

‘It’s, Im- I…’

‘Please,’ she begs.

‘Kiyoko I- I'm sorry. I don't know if it's just… I'm just overwhelmed at the moment. I'm sorry.’

‘Mm,’ she mumbles, moving closer to you. You feel her warm arms encircle you and pull you towards her, your back to her chest. Your heart does not speed up, it calms down. Maybe that's the effect of familiarity? ‘Lets just have a nap, yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ you whisper.

Her warmth brings you comfort, a comfort you wish you could give back. Maybe you are? Maybe you're not… you don't know. Her light snores used to be music to your ears but now they're nothing more than a mesh of messy drum beats, booming and thumping around your head. A small tear slips down the side of your face, ‘I wish I loved you.’

✄.

Kiyoko wishes you loved her too, she wished you loved her for more than just her body and the memories but you don't. Not that it matters, she thinks, as long as you are with her - as long as she can touch you, she doesn't care how you feel about her. She’ll take what she can get and she is oh so desperate for you, your touch, your taste, your sounds and oh god she must be a masochist.

When did she become so sadistic that she got off on her own pain? On your pain! She loves that you're broken and hurt and confused because that means she gets to be with you and oh she wishes that you’ll stay that way forever.

That is horrible isn't it? Yeah, she knows she’s fucked up but she’s fucked up for you and she wouldn't have it any other way.

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oikawaplssteponme · 4 years

Text

The Apartment: part 5

▪️for parts 1-4, click here

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

rating/warnings: swearing, angst (?)

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: hi friends✨i hope you all are doing well:)) just a friendly reminder to eat something today and stay hydrated 💕 as always, my inbox is open for anything and everything so feel free to reach out:) and the taglist for this fic is still open if you’d like to join✨ okay, enjoy xx

•

Five: best friends

“Okay do you have all your bags?” You asked. Bokuto nodded, holding a backpack and small suitcase.

“Yes Y/N.”

“And your phone? And your pillow, because I know you hate hotel ones. And-“

“Y/N calm down you’re going into ’mom mode’,” said Kuroo. You rolled your eyes.

“I just wanna make sure he has a good trip.”

“Akaashi will take care of him, don't worry,” smiled Kuroo.

“Do you not want me to have a good trip?” pouted Oikawa. You put your arm around him and smiled.

“Oikawa, I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t come back.” You joked.

“I fucking hate you,” he growled, pushing you away. You laughed and ruffled his hair.

“I love you both okay, now get out of here, Iwa and Akaashi are probably already outside,” you smiled. The four of you gathered for a group hug. Oikawa was off to his mini getaway with Iwa and Bokuto was joining Akaashi for his writers conference. The apartment would be just you and Kuroo.

“Hey, Y/N,” called Bokuto. He pulled you aside and whispered something in your ear.

“Remember what I told you.”

You sighed, remembering well what Bokuto had told you those days ago. You nodded.

“Farewell my lovely apartment! You two better not burn the place down while I’m gone,” said Oikawa.

“No promises,” smiled Kuroo. He pushed Oikawa out the door as Bokuto followed.

“Bye you two, we love you!” You cheered. Kuroo shut the door behind Oikawa and Bokuto, leaving you alone with him.

“You act like they’re never coming back,” laughed Kuroo.

“Not my fault I’ll miss them. I don’t remember the last time I went more than a week without them,” you explained. Kuroo nodded.

“Wanna grab some food after class?” Asked Kuroo. Your face felt warm.

“Uh yeah that sounds good.” You and Kuroo both had a lecture together today for your marketing course.

“Just give me 10 minutes and we can head to class,” you said. Kuroo nodded. You went inside your room and saw that Oikawa had left something on your bed. You picked it up and it read: “I suggest you use this before it expires”. You turned the card over, and saw that it was a coupon for 10% off a purchase at Party City. You groaned and threw the card away.

“Dickhead,” you mumbled.

“Who, me?” said Kuroo. You jumped.

“Kuroo oh my god you have to stop sneaking up on me like that,” you ordered. Kuroo laughed and sat down on your bed.

“Hurry up I don’t wanna be late.” You sighed and grabbed your jacket and shoes from your closet and slipped them on.

“Fine then let’s go.”

You and Kuroo walked a couple blocks to campus. Your lecture hall wasn’t too far away.

“A 3 hour lecture never gets easier,” you sighed. Kuroo patted your shoulder.

“Come on Y/N, don’t you just love getting all that knowledge thrown at you.” You rolled your eyes.

“Marketing is boring, even a nerd like you could agree,” you joked.

“Okay fair,” smiled Kuroo. The two of you reached the lecture hall and took a seat next to each other.

“Hi Kuroo! Mind if I sit here?” a voice said. You turned to see a girl standing next to Kuroo.

“Oh Calie, hi, yeah sure,” said Kuroo. The girl joyfully sat down next to Kuroo, causing you to clench your fists.

“Uh Calie, this is my friend Y/N, Y/N this is Calie, we have organic chemistry together,” explained Kuroo. The girl flashed you a dazzling smile. Great, she's pretty and smart. You shook her hand firmly.

“Wait aren’t you guys roommates too? That must be so fun living with someone like Kuroo,” giggled Calie. You gave her a sarcastic smile. I already hate this bitch.

“Yeah we’ve been friends forever so I definitely get my fair share of Kuroo.”

“Well you’re probably so sick of him, mind if I borrow him after the lecture?” She asked. Calie wrapped her hand around Kuroo’s bicep. You had to stop yourself from beating the shit out of her.

“Well actually-“ you began.

“Sure that sounds fun. You don’t mind right, Y/N?” said Kuroo. Is he being serious right now?

“So I’m supposed to grab dinner by myself?” You whispered, without thinking. Kuroo’s eyes widened. Calie gasped.

“You can come with us! I’d hate to leave you all alone,” She smiled.

“Yeah come with us,” said Kuroo.

“No no it’s fine, you two have fun. I’d rather be alone anyway,” you muttered. Before Kuroo could reply, your professor had walked in and began his lecture.

Your lecture felt longer than normal. Probably because all you could focus on was Calie’s giggles as she whispered with Kuroo throughout the whole 3 hours. Kuroo was always good with the ladies. His confident nature caused girls to be drawn towards him. Yes, you liked him too but you liked all of him, not just the surface level of Kuroo.

You tried to contain your annoyance with Calie and Kuroo. It was obvious she was flirting with him.

“See you next week,” said your professor as he wrapped up his lecture. You got up from your seat and began packing up your things. You didn’t look at Kuroo and headed right out the door.

You began walking back to your apartment when you heard Kuroo call after you.

“Wait Y/N-chan!” You turned around to face him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to hang with me and Calie? She’s really nice once you get to know her,” he said. You almost rolled your eyes.

“No it’s fine. I promised I’d FaceTime Oikawa now anyway,” you lied. Kuroo raised an eyebrow.

“Well if you say so. I’ll grab dinner with you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah sure. Make sure you have your key to the apartment or else I’m locking you out,” you said. Kuroo laughed and nodded.

“Bye Y/N!” cheered Calie. You gave her a wave and watched as Kuroo ran back towards her.

You walked back to your apartment, upset. Kuroo had every right to hang out with other girls but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It was just another reminder that Kuroo might not share the same feelings as you.

The apartment felt weird being so empty. All dark and quiet. You threw your keys on the counter and plopped onto the couch. You checked your phone and saw a plethora of texts from Oikawa.

i've been in the car FOREVER -sent 5:35pm

my legs are cramping -sent 5:40pm

do you think if i asked Iwa to stop for a bathroom break he would be mad? -sent 5:41pm

bc we just stopped 30 minutes ago and i said i didn’t need to go -sent 5:43pm

but now i do -sent 5:47pm

update: he stopped for me🤩 -sent 6:01pm

y/n answer me -sent 6:37pm

im bored -sent 6:38pm

you better be buying that maid costume -sent 6:40pm

that coupon expires soon -sent 6:41pm

btw bokuto forgot his pillow but he told me not to tell you -sent 6:52pm

oops -sent 6:52pm

wyd -sent 7:03pm

You laughed at your phone. Good to see you weren’t the only one missing your friends.

well im currently sitting alone in the apartment as kuroo ditched me for some girl -sent 7:15pm

HE DID WHAT -sent 7:18pm

maybe im being dramatic but he’s kinda on a date with some girl from his organic chemistry class -sent 7:19pm

i bet she’s ugly -sent 7:19pm

no she’s gorgeous -sent 7:20pm

fuck

well

im gonna beat his ass

how dare he -sent 7:20pm

it’s fine

maybe it’s better im alone rn anyway

gives me time to get over him -sent 7:21pm

come on hun

don’t say that

don’t give up -sent 7:25pm

idk toru

i feel like it’s never gonna happen

especially when he could have someone like her -sent 7:27pm

bokuto said it best: kuroo would be stupid not to like you -sent 7:28pm

i guess he’s stupid then -sent 7:30pm

:(((

okay Iwa and I got to our hotel but I’ll talk to you later okay love? -sent 7:33pm

okay

bye shittykawa -sent 7:34pm

why do you hurt me? -sent 7:35

You set your phone down and checked in the kitchen for anything worth eating. You weren’t in the mood to go out anymore.

Rice. We have rice. Well, rice it is.

You took out the rice cooker and began to prepare your sad dinner.

Why didn’t I just go with them?

As the rice cooked, you sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. You put on ‘Gilmore Girls’, wishing your friends were there to watch it with you.

It was late. Close to 11pm. Kuroo still wasn’t home. You laid on the couch, basking in your loneliness. A little dramatic yes but you hated being without your friends. It was a weird concept that they had friends beside you.

You heard keys jingle outside the door and you felt a wave of comfort come over you, knowing it had to be Kuroo. You got up from the couch and peaked at the door.

“I was starting to wonder what happened to you…” your voice trailed off when you saw that Kuroo wasn’t alone.

“Hey Y/N! Oh my gosh your apartment is so cute!” said Calie. Your jaw dropped and you looked over at Kuroo.

Your expression had to be screaming: “are you fucking kidding me right now!?”

“Oh uh thanks,” you muttered.

“Is it cool if Calie stays for a bit? Her roommates are having people over and she doesn’t know them too well,” explained Kuroo. Hmm I wonder what that’s like.

“You don’t have to ask me, it’s your apartment too,” you said plainly. Kuroo raised a brow.

“Just checking…”

Calie walked around your small apartment, admiring all the decorations that you had up.

“Aw isn’t this the cutest photo!” She said. She picked up a picture of you and Kuroo. It was when you had gotten dressed up together to take graduation pictures. Your smile was the brightest it’s ever been. Holding your diploma as Kuroo wrapped his arm around you. In the background of the photo you could see a faint image of Oikawa and Bokuto.

“Yeah I love that picture,” Kuroo smiled. Kuroo took the photo from Calie’s hand and looked at it.

“Best friends, right?” He looked at you. Your heart sank.

“Yup, best friends,” you whispered with a dull smile. Kuroo smiled and showed Calie to his room. You tried not to react. You walked over to your room, locked the door, and curled up onto your bed.

Is best friends all we are ever gonna be?

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @lilnuances @tetsoleil @cloudswritings @foxyyychan @tamaguchi @jessie9008 @bitandbytes @yeehawnana @166cm @bigchaosenergy @tumbledor3 @captain-janeway @answer-the-sirens @simpletype @ysatrap @stinkybitch1919 @bokutory ]

#willow.🌸#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #hq #kuroo tetsuro x you #hq kuroo #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x reader #bokuto #oikawa tōru #the apartment.🌸

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