#im lying in bed. thinking. thinking too hard. fuming. mad. mad mad mad. borderline homicidal.
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how do you call it when you're so angry that you start to panic
#im lying in bed. thinking. thinking too hard. fuming. mad. mad mad mad. borderline homicidal.#this would be a great time to write in my heart werent beating so fast to the point that my chest there hurts#why. why is. why is everyone so fucking mean to me all the time#i might actually cry like actually. me. crying. the wolrd is fucking ending.#stop being mean to me. im doing everything i can. i've been beating myself up over everything for the past 13 years.#im mean to myself already. you dont need to do that shit too.#i dont even know what to think anymore. i have so many thoughts. and theyre all evil. towards myself first.#then towards others. and then when i realise that im having evil thoughts about others they turn into evil thoughts about me#and no. not 'mean'. evil.
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