#stole the joke off ari <33< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[psi-hate]

[pancakexspacexdragon]

Long ass post ahead. TL;DR I found an old set of questions and decided to answer them again 7 years later because why not.

1: What are you wearing?

2014: Some Shorts and a shirt I accidentally stole from my brother.

2021: Panic! at the Disco shirt and some running shorts

2: Ever been in love?

2014: Oh yes, sadly...

2021: pfft.

3: Ever had a terrible breakup?

2014: Not technically, but I once had my homecoming date hook up with another girl.

2021: hahahahahaha. Yes.

4: How tall are you?
2014: like 5 foot 1, maybe 2? I dunno.

2021: 5’4”, apparently

5: How much do you weigh?
2014: How about no...

2021: Who’s to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6: Any tattoos?
2014: Yes! I got one on my left shoulder blade not too long ago. I often forget I have it, actually lol.

2021: I’m up to five, and six is planned.

7: Any piercings?

2014: I do. I have double lobe piercings, and my left ear at the top. No non-ear piercings. Those seem uncomfortable to get, tbh.

2021: Uh...double lobe, helix, forward helix, tragus, nose, and septum.

8: OTPs?
2014: Marshall and Lilly on HIMYM. I mean, I think that's what this is asking. Right?

2021: I’m still not 100% sure what this means but I’m doubling down on Marshall and Lilly.

9: Favorite show?
2014: I'm still recovering from the ending of How I Met Your Mother, but I also love Criminal Minds, and the Big Bang Theory.

2021: HIMYM, Criminal Minds, Stranger Things, and Masked Singer.

10: Favorite bands?

2014: I pretty much love anything, so I'll try to shorten it to Love and Theft, Newsboys, t.A.T.u, Beast, and Fun.

2021: My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, twenty one pilots, Maroon 5, Relient K.

11: Something you miss?

2014: Going to the park and just lying in the grass with my friends or crushes. I know, I'm Cheesy.

2021: Not having responsibilities or bills to pay.

12: Favorite Song?
2014: ...why do they even bother asking this? Tbh, “I'll Be” by Edwin McCain, and “Hello, My Name is” by Matthew West

2021: “you should see me in a crown” by Billie Eilish and “no body, no crime” by Taylor Swift

13: How old are you?
2014: Nineteen. I feel old.

2021: ...twenty-six.

14: Zodiac sign?
2014: Aries, barely.

2021: (not) shockingly, I’m still an Aries.

15: Quality you look for in a partner?
2014: Just someone who's willing to go on cheesy dates at the park, and love me for who I am. And a Christian. Yea, I'm one of those people. Sorry...

2021: dude just someone who’s gonna stick with me.

16: Favorite quote?
2014: It's actually a verse. I love Jeremiah 29:11. It's actually part of what's tattooed on my shoulder; right below a cross.

2021: “it do be like that sometimes”

17: Favorite actor?
2014: Uhhhhh. Matthew Gray Gubler, or David Tennant. I love them both :)

2021: Matthew Gray Gubler.

18: Favorite color?
2014: Green, or pink. Depends on the shade and whatnot.

2021: pastels. mostly green.

19: Loud music or soft?
2014: If I'm alone in the car? loud. Anywhere else I enjoy my soft music.

2021: If I’m by myself loud but if there’s others I like to keep it low enough so we can still talk.

20: Where do you go when you’re sad?
2014: My Room, or the park not to far from me. I like parks, if you haven't noticed.

2021: My room

21: How long does it take you to shower?
2014: Uh, probably about 10 minutes.

2021: Either 10 minutes or 45 minutes. There is no in-between

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
2014: About 30 minutes. I like to sleep tbh.

2021: Maybe 20 minutes at the most. Cutting off all my hair really took some time off my getting ready list.

23: Ever been in a physical fight?
2014: heck no.

2021: hell no.

24: Turn on?
2014: Cute shy smiles, and geekiness. I love someone who I can be comfortable with.

2021: dorks with a lame sense of humor. I am all about the dad jokes.

25: Turn off?
2014: Those guys who try to make you uncomfortable, or act like they're super cool. I guess that would be douches, huh?

2021: the “oh you should smile more” men.

26: The reasons I joined Tumblr?
2014: I was trying to find a place where I could post stuff without my parents seeing it tbh. I like having a place where like 2 people actually know me.

2021: Because where else can I release the true psychotic chaos within me?

27: Fears?
2014: Being abandoned. And darkness, for sure.

2021: Finding out people only stayed in your life out of obligation and not out of their own choice. And spiders.

28: Last thing that made you cry?
2014: The guy I liked totally looked past me and started telling me about this other girl, after I told him how I felt (not RIGHT after, it had been about two months...but still).

2021: My mom manipulated me into showing up to something I didn’t want to because “I should really go visit family”

29: Last time you said you loved someone?
2014: My best friend and I say I love you after we hang up the phone Lol.

2021: Other than normal parent “Love You”’s, it’s probably been about 3 years.

30: Meaning behind your Tumblr name?
2014: I'm short, totally socially awkward in new situations (and with old friends, now that I think about it) and Idk about the fox. I just like foxes, I guess...

2021: There is no meaning. I like pancakes, space, and dragons.

31: Last book you read?
2014: If you don't count my English Lit book, then it was probably "Only the Good Spy

Young" by Ally Carter, but I don't remember.

2021: oh geez. It was probably “George” or “Rick” by Alex Gino

32: The book you’re currently reading? 
2014: Nothing yet. I do have that last Gallagher Girl book to read though. I'll probably start it this weekend.

2021: Nothing. But I never got to that last Gallagher Girl book...

33: Last show you watched?
2014: The Big Bang Theory.

2021: The Masked Singer

34: Last person you talked to? 
2014: My dad lol. We were watching the NFL draft.

2021: Guy friend of mine. I went to his place for dinner and some video games.

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? 
2014: Good Friend

2021: hahahahahahahaha. We’re just friends.

36: Favorite food?
2014: Cajun. Blame my grandparents, that's what they cook a lot lol.

2021: Pasta

37: Place you want to visit?
2014: I wanna go to Alaska. Even though I know it's super cold.

2021: Europe. Specially Spain or France.

38: Last place you were? 
2014: I honestly left home like twice today, to bring something to my brother at the High school, then to bring him to a friends house. He has a better social life than me.

2021: Friends place to hang out. We played Stardew then ordered wings and watched a movie.

39: Do you have a crush?
2014: Yes. See question 28 lol. Also, there's this other guy who I got close to last year, but I haven't spoken to him in weeks, and it's killing me.

2021: See guy referred to in 34, 35, and 38.

40: Last time you kissed someone?
2014: Never. I have never kissed anyone. Well, besides like a kiss in the cheek from family. Yeah...

2021: wow it’s probably been about three years.

41: Last time you were insulted?

2014: Recently lol. I guess... I don't really pay attention, or care...

2021: I don’t know. Probably recently.

42: Favorite flavor of sweet?
2014: I'm just gonna act like this doesn't exist, cause idk what it's asking.

2021: Chocolate.

43: What instruments do you play?
2014: I can play the French Horn and Mellophone! I also want to learn the flute, but I can't unless I have something to practice lol.

2021: French Horn, Mellophone, and Ukulele. Still want to learn the flute.

44: Favorite piece of jewelry?

2014: My purity ring. If I forget to put it on, I can seriously feel the emptiness, and it bothers me...

2021: My septum ring! I feel like it’s the first piercing I got for myself, and not just something I thought others would like on me.

45: Last sport you played?

2014: Maybe Soccer? Idk.

2021: pfft. Sports.

46: Last song you sang?

2014: “I'll Be” by Edwin McCain. But I really don't sing well, so it doesn't happen much, unless I'm alone.

2021: “You Belong with Me (Taylor’s Version)” by Taylor Swift and I 100% sang it to my dog.

47: Favorite chat up line?

2014: I don't have one

2021: It’s been 7 years and I still don’t have one.

48: Have you ever used it?

2014: Since i don't have one, no.

2021: Nah.

49: Last time you hung out with someone?

2014: I hung out with my future roommate before I left college yesterday.

2021: When I went to the previously mentioned Guy’s house earlier today.

50: Who should answers these questions next?

2014: Well, I guess any of my followers can choose to, if they want.

2021: Bold of you to assume anyone’s actually going to see this.

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

26 Jan u ary 2023 Thursday 4:26 am pdt

Incubus put something into a hole in my spine that I was not aware was there. 4:29 am pdt my life is over. 4:30 am pdt

7:26 am pdt didn’t Simon Cowell recently have back surgery? He’s brave 2 go through with something like that. It was sometime after I found an article about him saying that the voice copied? Or stole something they were going to use that he fell down the stairs. I blame incubus 4 that. 7:28 am pdt

7:24 am pdt incubus continues to torture my rib area as usual when I think I don’t have a husband and similar thoughts along those lines.

7:44 am pdt this feels to me as if it were translated n2 words from symbolism of Adam and Eve rib, is designed 2 mislead until it is too late and becomes clear it is sarcasm and that it’s all a big Joke. I’m a fool . They made me n2 one. Why I never reported “ Brendan”? 4 starters ... 4 some reason I was more focused on trying 2 explore possible romantic feelings 4 him 4 years without thinking that he was a bad guy. Even though it was apparent he lied about his age I didn’t know what his age was until years later. But when I learned his age I think I was 18 already?? My memory is fuzzy on this part. Lower Back? pain 😖😭 7:51 am pdt 7:53 am pdt I was chatting with a guy in Michigan at the same time as Brendan in Long Island New York Bcz they both instant messaged me at the same time on aol. The guy in Michigan seemed more honest about himself that he emailed me a pay stub with his social blocked out with permanent marker I think and a drivers license with the drivers license number blocked out and my mom took both of the printouts to the police bcz she was nervous. 7:57 am pdt “Brendan” in his Friendster profile said he was year of the monkey and he liked drums and anime and clockwork orange the movie? I think. I think he also told me that movie on the phone but my memory is blurry. 7:58 am pdt in the phone he said he liked “kitchen Spanish.” When we chatted online he said he was friends with gym class heroes (2001). His picture in Friendster ... he was EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE! A stunner. 8:01 am pdt he never sent me a picture so this probably shocked me at the time, again memory blurry. He was a sweet talker online and on the phone. Unfortunately he was 5 years older than me. I don’t know if it was him that I was talking to online and on the phone. I don’t know if he had a roommate or close relative that he would have let have access to his account. Why would he keep the same email address? Why would he link someone else’s art website and give the impression that it was his when it was not? Why would he use his first name but pretend he had the face of Russell Crowe which he told me on the phone? 8:07 am pdt is he a gas lighter and guilty of bigger things??? 8:08 am pdt 8:10 am pdt the first night he instant messaged me it was a little more than a month b4 my 16th birthday and he said he was 17 years old at the time- “Brendan.” 8:12 am pdt

9:29 am pdt there was an article I read a very long time ago about parents? If children they gave up 4 adoptions. Something about feelings. I probably need to double check this. It was probably something that presented itself infront of me like a lot of articles do these days. Otherwise I’m not sure how I found out about it. It is strange to me. 9:33 am pdt

27 Jan u ary 2023 Friday 6:39 am pdt heart pain probably from being burned a lot. 😖😭🥵😤🥵😤

got hooked 🪝 on thinking incubus is attractive again and then he applied acid 2 my vag again. B4 that I think I watched fifth harmony work from home 🏠. When I try 2 pull away some times he puts his wicked Merlin 🧙‍♂️ “love” potions 🧪 in me & I go back 2 wanting him. It seems at this point it would b best 2 pretend? Not care about being honest bcz honesty is not rewarding. 6:44 am pdt now I question if I was being honest about not wanting him. There are times now that I don’t find him attractive let’s just put it that way. 6:46 am pdt bcz when I think I am turned off by something he somehow flips the switch so I’m no longer turned off by what he did. 6:47 am pdt 😑🧐🤨 6:48 am pdt

7:03 am pdt toilet 🚽. 7:04 am pdt so tired 😓 😴 gurgled. I sound like an old man 👴 now when I complain of pain. 7:06 am pdt what turned me off tongue 👅 sharp cutting pain 😖😭 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵 the part about him sending naked selfie 🤳 to mvrykv_ on Instagram. And thinking they probably acted out the sexting in person in Paris, France 🇫🇷 last year. After I felt and thought 💭 that it turned me off so much that I can no longer want what incubus wanted me to believe is true b4 all the women came out to expose him... & then the feelings flipped. I strangely started getting turned on at the thought 💭 of them doing it. He cursed me. & tricked me. He’s doing a strange dance 💃 of deception. 7:13 am pdt 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵 7:14 am pdt he burned my heart ♥️ after I typed that and it hurt! 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵

this is how he controls the economy, everything! 7:15 am pdt

I still can’t add images. He really intends 2 sacrifice me. As a martyr. Designated b4 conception. I have a Pegasus? Purple slightly transparent my little pony. I think I was 6 years old still but moved already to San Jose from king 🤴 city 🌃. I took a bath 🛁 with it. I also played with it in the sink. One of those times the stick on paper eyes 👀 washed out. My dad re-painted the eyes 👀 with lavender irises. Originally it had pale blue irises. 7:22 am pdt eyes 👀 being removed are a symbol of Saint Lucia. 7:23 am pdt

11:16 am pdt they’ve been yanking/yo-yo-ing my feelings back and forth 4 a long time, at least 5 years for the incubus. Now they’re burning 🔥 my hips and butt. I suspect I won’t be able to walk after they do this a lot. I had difficulty walking 🚶🏿‍♀️, on and off, since 2020. He made my body absurd shape, after cutting and trimming away at bone 🦴 and muscle since 2017, he made it extra and apparently absurd since 2021 and 2022. I keep on guessing when and how it will all end. In mid 2022, around May I again accept that nothing romantically will happen between me and incubus. And then when I read about Jaycee dugard on Wikipedia, he springs it on me that I have a memory problem and that he’s my husband and I don’t remember. Weird. And he convinced me but I was still in disbelief of my good fortune? But I’m still being destroyed by him and I really don’t remember anything about being married to him. Now I am back to being in disbelief. But my brain 🧠 keeps on wanting 2 going back to believing on its own bcz it’s more comforting 2 believe even if it’s not true. 11:28 am pdt but the comfort is short lived Bcz they go back to torturing me and my memory comes back that the torture was so severe in 2017 that I felt I was dying in agony and misery with every time and way they touched me. 11:30 am pdt R.I.P. the torture I felt gives R.I.P. truth - revelation. We are maybe most of us are Jesus when we hit 32 or 33 years old. We only get true peace ☮️ when we are dead ☠️. 11:33 am pdt because incubus likes suffering. 11:32 am pdt

12 pm pdt there’s a very awful joke I heard 👂 when I was a kid that’s been on my mind a lot since 2017: what do you call a man without legs 🦵 and arms? Answer: Bob. Something I think having to do with buoys ?? Bobbing up 🆙 and down with the waves 🌊 of the ocean 🌊?? 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵😞 heart ♥️ pain 12:03 pm pdt

12:04 pm pdt I don’t recall telling Scott “I like you.” I remember feeling guilty that I could not say it when he asked me. It didn’t seem to matter in the end though. He knew he was tempted but chose 2 see me again anyway. B4 we had”s*x” or what some might call rape, I don’t recall him saying that he liked me either. In retrospect, I felt so much guilty and I felt so sick in the head and the heart ♥️ from being with him that I think 🤔 I might have almost not notice that he took none of the blame later on. And he seemed fresh and clean 🧼 and happy, while I felt kinda shitty and guilty. He’s allowed to get carried away with sexual feelings and accept no responsibility 4 his actions but I have 2 own it all???? Demon lord gave me problems with addiction to s*x and tv 📺 and video games and the internet and some foods and eczema and problems with concentration and comprehension and head/brain trauma and relationships and there’s probably more. When he asked me if he could kiss me he did not even let me verbally respond. And if love and doing things right was so important to him he should have held off on asking for a kiss and instead ask, the very first thing: do you like me???????

that! Should! Have! Been! FIRST! But it wasn’t the first thing he asked. The kiss 💋 was more important 2 him. And with my problems with being honest about my feelings and speaking up 🆙 for my self bcz I was very shy 🙈 all my life I hid behind my rain 🌧 jacket 🧥 in kindergarten after I hung it up 🆙 in the wall all day most days until I was transferred out sometime after Halloween 👻 so I guess that was more than a month?? Hmmm 🤔.... and I had difficulty telling people “no!” And addiction to s*x which made it difficult to put my foot 🦶 down with the previous 2 guys b4 him but I did put it down and then he challenged it 2xs in a row that one day. And I challenged it already with a serious question one day b4 that time I believe it was b4 that day and he acted like it didn’t happen at all afterwards. 12:23 pm pdt

with my first real boyfriend, shamefully we did start out friends with benefits per my suggestion, and I don’t think I told him straight that my feelings were changing, and that’s why I suggested friends with benefits as a trial, he did express feelings of wishing I were his girlfriend prior to us doing anything couple-y/physically (12:37 pm pdt intimate) intimidate. I had indirectly warned him it might not work out by asking from the beginning if it doesn’t work out if we can still be friends afterwards. I was kinda crazy? so I actually scared him away permanently unfortunately 😓. I kept trying to talk to him after the breakup and he told me honestly that he would never love me. I appreciate that more than ever now. I even confessed to a mutual friend that I didn’t believe that it would work out since the beginning. I think 🤔 I never had confidence that anything would work out romantically for me since I was very young. Maybe bcz my mom said and did things that communicated I was unlike able? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if this is considered a self fulfilling prophecy, or I in my real realest uncontrolled by demon lord personality is problematic, or if it really is a curse put on me by the demon lord communicated to me by very few words and symbols/signs. (Saint Lucia curse) 12:33 pm pdt 12:34 pm pdt

2:17 pm pdt I would not want 2 go near the incubus lair? Home 🏠 that would = giving him easy access. That would be sending mixed signals that you want 2 b taken advantage of by incubus. 2:19 pm pdt

2:38 pm pdt I feel like and think that a lot of the media he had me see and hear 👂 was made 2 mislead me and many others, that he might be a good person. But I m having significant doubts now. 2:40 pmpdt

2:45 pm pdt “Brendan” had a great sexy voice and a New York accent. I think I remember when I used the word “hella” he said “Cali lingo.” He also said he had a cousin who lived in San Diego, and an uncle I think who resided in New Jersey?? Maybe 🤔 and he said they were going to have a “wake” for him. And he said his younger brother died in a car 🚗 accident. In 2007 I found his Facebook. He had curly Afro-ish? Big curly fluffy hair. And he’s dating an identical twin named Jackie. I accidentally sent him a Facebook invitation and soon after that I couldn’t see his Facebook account anymore. Huh 🤔 WEIRD! 2:52 pm pdt why did he do that???? Did he remember my first name and the way I described myself in 2001 and freak out???? Or is there something else going on? 2:54 pm pdt was he protecting himself? And or a “friend”? 2:54 pm pdt

3pm pdt after I updated 🆙 this I felt pain in my left heel... it scares me 😱 it feels as if some part of me is being dissolved it bubbles and or fizzes, I am not sure what it is doing. 3:02 pm pdt

3:03 pm pdt also been having tummy aches and earlier today felt as if the possibly the wall of my stomach is being eaten with acid. It’s been happening a lot recently 😖😭 3:05 pm pdt

3:06 pm pdt 3:07 pm pdt I’ve been trying to reconcile ideas 💡 in my head about right and wrong that I think I’ve heard 👂? Or interpreted from like the news 📰.. some men who murdered mothers there was one case recently... I did not commit the name to memory.... there are so many conflicting feelings and views. I guess it maybe has to do with the Bible and news 🗞 of Iran 🇮🇷... 3:11 pm pdt

anyway 3:11 pm pdt... oh. How did I find out his last name? I don’t remember if he used it on Facebook. He might have used Behan. Irish ☘️ playwright who might have been gay. On MySpace he used behan. It might have been on spokeo. Around 2010? There was some free information back then through reverse 🔄 email 📧 lookup option. I did not have to pay 💰 4 anything to get the last name. But if I wanted more information I would have to pay 💰. There a few other things too that were free I remember astrological signs 🪧. But I am having difficulty remembering which astrological signs 🪧 and an approximate address that it said was in vicinity and it was not the actual address. I was weird and I don’t think 🤔 I yet realized that he might be guilty of something bad? Bcz I hesitated on paying 💰 to get more information. I had saw the movie 🎥 serendipity and I wanted a serendipitous moment! Bcz I was going to go to New York for the first time in 2010, and I wanted to probably test fate? Destiny? So without planning to go to any place to intentionally see him, I went around hoping to randomly run 🏃🏻‍♀️ in to him. I also took a spontaneous trip to Boston. It was a time when I was trying to overcome fears! I went to Boston to see one of the younger guys (3 years younger than me) bcz I had difficulty telling him the situation and asking what he was expecting. He had started going to berklee school of music 🎶 , he was a drummer and saxophone 🎷 player. He said he was going to come and stay up all night hanging out in New York. And As I was talking to him ? Or after? My sister tells me straight without me asking, she says he cannot stay here. Feeling awkward about telling him that, I felt I don’t remember maybe 🤔 it was mean? I had some weird feelings I guess? Conditioning from mom and dad. Dad said American 🇺🇸 woman 👩🏻 can be mean, guys wanna flirt a little, and that he’s lonely, stuff like that, and mom made me feel like I was not allowed 🚫 to be angry, and difficult for me sometimes to know or be certain if I’m in the right? Bcz she seemed to easily get annoyed with me?? There were times I felt like I verbally had to “walk on eggshells”. So I tell him I will come to him to Boston. Some reason he was ok 👌 with that. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ why. And he transferred his bus 🚌 ticket 🎫 to me. Maybe 🤔 he really was expecting for me to offer my sister’s shared apartment for him to stay???? 3:37 pm pdt when we are in China town at a diner me and my sister have a serious discussion about relationships and dating. I brought up 🆙 that I wanted to find a guy who would wait to have s*x (until marriage). And she said in reply that that’s hard to find. 3:40 pm pdt. I told her I thought 💭 I fell in love with josh. And I said he was so fun (or that I had fun when I was with him 3:50 pm pdt) But for some reason I think 🤔 b4 I went to New York, I somehow scared him away but I didn’t tell her that part. 3:42 pm pdt. China town has the streets canal & Bowery. 🎶🎼🎵 I took the 4 hour trip to Boston. 4 hours is long but somehow it doesn’t feel that long? I also took the bus back in the evening bcz I was trying 2b good & not stay the night at his place which he was probably half joking but not, that he thought 💭 I was a naughty? Girl and should stay the night??? Something like that but he didn’t kiss me, we never kissed, I don’t think 🤔 we ever held hands 🙌 either, but there was a time that I felt I had a really nice time with him and I did start to feel something, but I didn’t feel ready? I think it was??? 3:49 pm pdt. 3:51 pm pdt when I walked around New York with my sister I looked 👀 at many people. Usually I’m very shy 🙈 and I think for some time in my life after I got punched in the head I had looked 👀 down a lot. I was motivated to see if I would run 🏃🏻‍♀️ into him to have a serendipitous movie 🎥 like moment! 3:54 pm pdt

4:07 pm pdt on the news, on tv 📺, I don’t remember when, there was something about vitamin D helps cure autism? I think 🤔 I got a lot of sun exposure on some days in New York and I remember my eczema miraculously healed. I remember when I first arrived it was raining 🌧? I remember some days were sunny 🌞 and we took the bus 🚌 and walked around a lot. 4:11 pm pdt ever since I went to New York I thought 💭 about moving there. But fear got in the way. 4:13 pm pdt.

6:11 pm pdt I tried wearing multiple necklaces at the same time last year and I went to sleep 😴 with them on and awake to find it tangled and sorta choking me. 6:12 pm pdt 6:13 pm pdt

[tvmecaps]

1. who is this guy why is he in a fucking nascar 2. WHAT A WEIRD FADE TRANSITION 3. “my background is in racing.” “i love? racing??” 4. emily seems like a gem 5. emily: “where did you come from? 😊” arie: “haha!” 6. if someone said that to me i’d be like 7. idk the limo 8. i wish corinne came back

9. emily: *doesn’t say i love you back* arie: “i just felt, in that moment, that she loved me”

10. chris harrison: “you flew to charlotte” arie: “i flew to charlotte” me: “he flew to charlotte?!” 11. SHE DIDN’T READ THE JOURNAL 12. how embarrassing

13. “i was gone probably 200 days a year, avoiding the pain and heartbreak” imagine having that luxury 14. omg that baby is huge 15. omg I love when the couples are real 16. chris harrison saying arie is the best kisser they’ve had on the show is weird 17. wow a single mom that’s an original take 18. wow a weird amount of realtors 19. “gotta get a boyfriend first” WHA TA WIERD THING TO SAY 20. “i’m jealous one day i’ll find love!!” she says to the bride and groom 21. these girls are so WEIRD 22. SOMETIMES WE GET PEOPLE WITH BULLET WOUNDS 23. is this raven’s friend 24. from weiner 25. “we kind of have to make our own fun” *shoots a gun* 26. AT LEAST HE HAS A JOB 27. I LOVE RAVEN 28. they seem like they’d be sorority sisters 29. KENDALL 30. his tongue is like, so huge

31. WITH TAXIDERMY, I CAN KEEP IT FOREVER 32. if i ever met anyone with a stuffed polar bear I would immediately murder them and go to prison for life 33. I LOVE YOU SEAL 34. WHAT THE FUCK

35. omg another mom 36. oh she’s a nanny 37. “im a mix of gentle and nurturing” babe what’s the difference 38. i hope marikh beats the shit out of kendall

39. coach crystal 40. this is the worst thing i’ve ever seen 41. KRYSTAL WITH A K 42. IT GOT WORSE 43. SHE’S JUST RECORDING HERSELF JUMPING ON THE BEAHC 44. BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS HOMELESS 45. IM SCREAMING 46. aw this is kind of sweet tho 47. if i had to pretend to prance into the ocean while abc productions filmed me i would throw myself into the sand and let the water take me

48. this limo full of bachelor girls < a single cab full of jersey shore girls 49. i wish they had a jersey shore bachelor crossover 50. i wanna see sammi sweetheart on the bachelor 51. chris: “so you’ve tried to fall in love multiple times and haven’t 52. arie: thanks 53. maybe we’ll both be off the market I want to kill myself 54. chelsea’s entire face looks fake 55. but ok 56. sienne is not a name i’m sorry 57. aw the cufflinks 58. i hope she wins and he proposes wearing them 59. i already love tia she’s said 2 words

60. she 61. she got him a little wiener 62. “please tell me 63. you do not already 64. have 65. a little wiener” 66. arie: “I like her”

67. i want to punch chelsea in the face 68. who tf is bibiana 69. “then i think about like oh my god my babies would have blue eyes” 70. bib, do you… do you knwo punnett squares 71. he caught a softball “i’m so impressed with you!” 72. omg the nice butt bumper sticker 73. “i don’t have a very big butt” 74. wow they’re really giving krystal quite the entrance

75. “in this moment we’re ready for the adventure to begin” 76. she has a giant bowtie on her ass 77. ARIE GOES 78. “i needed that”

79. “there have been a lot of girls coming through,” one girl says suspiciously 80. as if she’s never seen the bachelor 81. “BEAUTIFUL. GIRLS.” chelsea says, murder in her eyes

82. LMAO I’M SCREAMING BEKAH PULLED FOF 83. AND ALL I SAW WAS HER HAIR IN THE CONVERTIBLE 84. AND I DEADASS THOUGHT 85. “who is this??? kris jenner??????”

86. i don’t know jenna but i love her 87. is she drunk 88. “and also maybe someone to take over the world with me” i love her

89. imagine someone brought you a rock 90. is she 91. is she gonna make him propose 92. why are they playing star wars music 93. WHO WAS THAT 94. why are there so many laurens 95. DID THEY SEND ALL THE LAURENS OUT IN A ROW 96. “any more and i’d be like, am i on the wrong show? *another lauren comes in 97. chelsea is a psycho 98. “nothing like a good icebreaker talking about all the dicks you’ve seen in your life” 99. ew 100. pit stop joke 101. HEY BABE, WANT TO SMELL MY PITS 102. I LOVE RIHANNA 103. this bitch in a mask 104. of course her name is annaliese

105. “i’m the only one in a costume so far” i miss alexis

106. THE GIRL WHO WAS SPECIFICALLY INTRODUCED TO ONE-UP BEKAH’S CAR ENTRANCE 107. I LOVE THIS BITCH 108. THE SHEER D R A M A

109. “sorry i’m late,” she laughs, CASUALLY STEPPING OUT OF THE RACE CAR

110. “she came in fast and furious, she came in last, maybe that’s how she wants to finish!” omg I HATE this bitch 111. he’s literally a generic handsome man 112. they cannot get over how generically handsome he is 113. she handed him a drink what a kissass 114. nysha i’ve never seen you in my life 115. CHELSEA STOLE HIM LITERALLY FROM THE TOAST 116. I HATE HER 117. i can’t stand this 118. what’s wrong with her face 119. why doesn’t it move

120. i’m the girl who said “where did you get your race car”

121. i’m sorry are they racing toy cars 122. HERS IS SO SLOW LMAOOOO 123. “brittany and him kissed. i don’t know why she’d do that.” i HATE chelsea

124. i’m the drunk girl talking about making people look cool with spas

125. aw i like annaliese 126. “how is the first night going? i would say great” “good so far,” arie corrects 127. chelsea’s gonna fuckin get it isn’t she

128. “can i talk to arie for a second?” “i literally just sat down” “but can i have him?” “i just sat down” “just for a minute” “but i just sat down” THIS ENTIRE EXCHANGE WAS MADE BETWEEN SMILES

129. omg she’s gonna talk to him AGAIN i hate her 130. omg they’re like really kissing 131. i really can’t like arie for this 132. this is so boring i just want to punch chelsea 133. there are too many girls for me to care about anyone who goes home

134. three things that make me excited to be alive? easy, death, dying, and the inevitable murder of donald j trump

135. arie: “excitement” 136. bekah: “excitement makes you excited”

137. CHELSEA 138. FUCK CHELSEA 139. first rose ceremony and the only girls i know are bekah and lauren numbers one through four 140. imagine he calls your name but then another last initial

141. no one will ever top alexis’s “move bitches”

142. thank god bibiana got a rose, honestly 143. fuck chelsea for staying instead of all these bitches 144. i’m both the girls watching the jets makeup through a telescope and the bitch making out with him on a JETSKI 145. I HOPE SOMEONE PUNCHES CHELSEA 146. i can’t wait for beech’s inevitable nervous breakdown 147. SOMEONE’S GOTTA BOYF