#stmf chapter seven

[nalgenewhore]

Slipping Through My Fingers - Seven

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

warnings: none, maybe a lil bit of angst tho 

an: everything is ok! it’s fun fresh AND cool, as the youths say :) 

“I want a story, please.” 

Lorcan smiled down at his son, who was sitting between his legs. It was almost eight - the time Kohana usually fell asleep at - and they were almost done with his routine. Kohana was all about routines, but Lorcan had noticed he’d begun to loosen a bit.

He would easily settle for Cheerios if they didn’t have his regular cornflakes, instead of making big, sad eyes and pouting as he glumly ate at the island. If Lorcan had to work later than usual, Kohana would happily jump in the car with Esther or Nehemia and he wouldn’t ask every minute when Lorcan was picking him up. 

“Yeah, baby. Which one do you want?” Kohana sat in silence for a bit, contemplating as Lorcan braided his hair for him, like he did every night. Though their people often cut their hair out of respect for the passing of a life, as Lorcan had when it had been Essar’s time, Kohana hadn’t yet been a year old and Lorcan chose to let his son’s locks remain uncut. 

“Ptesan-Wi, até.” 

The story of the White Buffalo Calf Woman was Kohana’s favourite and he asked for that one most of the time. Lorcan kissed the crown of his head and smiled, tying off the end of Ko’s braid with an elastic.

“Long ago, two young hunters were out when they came across a beautiful young woman dressed in white buckskin…” 

The story was of how the people lost their ability to communicate with the Creator, who sent the woman to teach them how to pray with the sacred bundle. After she had shown them the way, she left, transforming into a white buffalo and walking away. It was said that she would return in a time of abundance and plenty. 

When the story was finished, Kohana turned and nestled against Lorcan’s side, “I like that story.” 

“Me too,” Lorcan said quietly, reaching over to turn off the light. He would just stay until Kohana fell asleep, it wouldn’t hurt to just close his eyes. The weight of his son on his chest was a comforting one and sleep beckoned to him but he wouldn’t. Not the entire night, his body would curse him tomorrow for falling asleep in a kindergartener’s bed. 

Just for a bit… 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

The bell had rung five minutes ago and her class was finally settling down. Elide looked over the little desks and spied Esther looking glum by herself at her and Kohana’s desk. Her friend was missing as of now, but Elide was sure he was just late. 

If one looked at Esther, they would have assumed she’d been told the worst news in the history of the world, her pale green eyes filling with tears as her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. Elide stood from her desk and walked over to Esther, saying hello to the other children on her way. “Esther, is something wrong?” 

“Ko-Ko isn’t here. I miss him,” she whispered, turning her eyes on the door and sniffling. “He did not tell me he was not coming today.” 

Elide chuckled quietly and crouched, “I think he’s running a little bit late today. Why don’t we look at our folders to see what we would like to show our parents later today, ok?” She pulled a tissue from her mini pack and handed it to Esther, who took it and wiped her eyes. 

“I’m excited for that,” Esther said, finally a grin showing on her face, the freckles on her face stretching. 

“Me too,” Elide said, dusting off the material of her rust-coloured silk slip dress. She stood just as two little feet pattered into the classroom and Esther gasped. 

“Ko-Ko!” Her eyes widened and she clapped her hands over her mouth. “Quiet time.” 

Elide laughed again, all of her students were just so itty bitty and precious, “It’s ok, Esther. I know you were excited.” She turned around and sure enough, there Kohana stood, a serious look on his face that morphed into a smile at Esther. “Good morning, Kohana.” 

“Hi-hi. ‘m gonna put my stuff in my cubby.” 

“That sounds like a plan,” she said, motioning for him to go ahead. Looking to the doorway, she saw Lorcan leaning against the doorframe, a bright look in his eyes though his face remained impassive. Elide walked over to him, maneuvering around the chattering kindergarteners showing each other what they were going to showcase later tonight at the Parent-Teacher conferences.

While Elide had a folder for each kid with progress reports and the like, she wanted her students to show their guardians something they were proud of - be it a drawing, an assignment they did well on or anything else. One kid had asked her if she could show her parents how she learned to do her zipper up all by herself and Elide had been delighted. Zippers were hard for their little hands. 

“Sleep in today?” 

Lorcan smiled, nodding as he shoved his hands in the pockets of yet another pair of thick painter pants. “Yeah, the alarm didn’t go off and K isn’t a fan of waking up.” He tilts his head to the side, one of his hands reaching up to massage his trap, his face twisting in discomfort. “I don’t recommend sharing a kid’s sized bed with a blanket hog.” 

Elide laughed and turned on the toes of her pointed-toe pumps - white to match the t-shirt she had on underneath her dress - to keep an eye on her class as she and Lorcan conversed for a moment. It was as if the tension had dissipated. She wouldn’t say it wasn’t there but it was definitely… not the same as it had been, especially after the night out with their friends. They chatted for a bit, mainly about the meeting after school and the plan for the day. 

Once Kohana emerged from the cubby room and sat down next to Esther, meticulously organizing his little desk, Lorcan bid the class and Elide a good-bye before sauntering off. Elide was most certainly not distracted by how good he looked in a black shirt that stretched across his shoulders and navy blue pants that framed his ass quite nicely. She definitely wasn’t staring until one of her students tugged on her skirt and then she noticed that they were all waiting for her. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“Alright, I’m gonna head out,” Lorcan said, popping his head into Malakai’s office. “I got that meeting at Ko’s school in a bit.” 

Malakai nodded, “Sounds good. You’re not working tomorrow, right?” 

Lorcan’s chest tightened. Tomorrow was the anniversary of Essar’s death and every year, he and Kohana would visit her grave and spend the day doing various things. It was Kohana’s year to choose. It was a tradition. “Yep.” 

His boss looked up at him, something sad in his eyes. “Alright. Have fun.” 

Lorcan nodded and saluted a good-bye, walking out to his truck and ignoring everyone else. The weight of his wedding band on the silver chain he wore had never been heavier and he drove in silence to the school. 

After he parked, he hopped out and walked over to the playground, where Illias said he was watching Esther and Kohana. He checked the time on his phone and walked quicker. As he approached the playground, he spotted Kohana in the sandbox, squatting as he patted a sandcastle with the back of his shovel. Esther was jumping around - he was insanely jealous of her energy levels - and careful to not smoosh any of their buildings. 

“Hey, Illias,” Lorcan said, smiling at the quiet man. 

Illias smiled calmly and nodded once, his sea green eyes bright. Kohana and Esther saw Lorcan before he could say anything and came toddling over, their hands sandy and dirty. 

“Dad! Hi! Hi!” 

Lorcan smiled at Kohana, brushing back the hair that had escaped his braid. “Hi, K-Man. Are you ready for the meeting?” 

“Yeppity-yep-yep-yep!” He was hopping around with Esther, the two of them giggling. 

“We gotta get going then, can you say bye-bye to Essie and Illias?” 

Kohana nodded vigorously, “Bye-bye, Essie! Bye-bye, Illias!” 

“Good-bye, Kohana,” Illias said, smiling serenely down at Kohana as Esther climbed up on the bench beside him, holding up her arms. 

“Bye-bye, Ko-Ko!” 

Lorcan picked Kohana up and he and Esther waved to each other as Lorcan walked away. “Dad, I have so much to show you, so much. I made a drawing for you and for Mama too,” his voice quieted as he mentioned Essar. “We going to see Mama tomorrow, right?” 

“Yeah, baby, we’re going to go see Mama tomorrow.” 

“I miss her.” Kohana rested his head on Lorcan’s shoulder. “I want her back.” He hadn't even been one when Essar had died. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to meet her, to remember her other than a blurry image. 

Lorcan’s throat tightened and he coughed, “Me too.” 

“Do you think Mama will like my drawing?” 

“I think she’ll love it,” Lorcan said, opening the school’s door and walking down the hallway. “What did you draw?” 

“Dad,” Kohana sternly admonished Lorcan, his brows lowered. “I can’t tell you what I drawed for Mama! That’s not for you.” 

Stifling his laugh, Lorcan nodded, frowning seriously. “So silly of me to ask. Do I get to see what you drew for me?” 

“Yup! Can I get down now?” He kicked out his legs until Lorcan put him down and raced on ahead to his classroom, waiting at the door. Lorcan huffed a dry chuckle and walked quicker at Kohana’s eye roll. “Hi-hi, Elide!” 

Lorcan heard her respond and then she poked her head out, smiling at Lorcan. “Well, hey there. Y’all ready?” Elide, bless her, grabbed a wipe and efficiently ridded Kohana’s chunky little hands of sand and dirt.

“Yeah, let’s do this, K-Man.” 

“Ok! Come-come, I’ll show you,” Kohana grabbed Lorcan’s hand and tugged him in, “Sit down, Dad. Sit-sit.” He did as told, way too big for the little chair. 

Kohana began to babble as he opened his folder and showed all the drawings he’d done.  Lorcan looked at them, smiling at every single one of them. Kohana explained them all, pointing it all out to Lorcan. 

It took ten minutes to look through his work and Kohana talked the entire time. Lorcan was floored, he’d never heard Kohana talk this much. 

“Ok, now I’m done, Dad.” 

“Good job, kid. Those were really good,” Lorcan said, smiling with soft eyes. “I really like them.” 

“Thank you. I’m gonna go to the mushrooms now and look at the bear book, ok?” 

“Ok.” Elide and Lorcan chuckled and he stood up, easily transitioning to the common tongue so Elide could understand, “Have fun, me and Elide are gonna go talk for a bit.” 

Kohana nodded absentmindedly as he trailed away while Elide and Lorcan went to sit at her desk. Elide looked fondly at Kohana as he opened the book and silently looked through the pages. “So,” she began, sitting down in her wheeled chair as Lorcan sat down on an adult-sized chair. “Kohana.” 

“Yes. Kohana.” 

“He’s doing really well, really,” she said, opening up a binder and flipping through the alphabetized sections to Kohana’s, where she had a lined paper with neat notes written. “He’s been slow to socialize, but he’s getting there. I think that’s the only area he’s struggling with.” 

“He’s always been quiet, but…” Lorcan trailed off, not sure how he should bring up Essar. He was sure Elide had already figured it out, but he hadn’t spoken it aloud. 

Elide nodded, her eyes becoming saddened. “I thought so. Esther’s been working her hardest to get him to open up and I think it’s starting to work out.” They both chuckled at the mention of Esther, the bubbly girl who made friends with almost everyone she met, but was fiercely loyal to Kohana. “Here’s some of his work,” she passed over some of his work, letting Lorcan look over them. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“Dad, I’m gonna go wait with Fillmore, ok?” 

“Ok, bud.” Kohana ran off, scurrying down the hallway to their truck. Elide and Lorcan watched him go, smiling at the sight. When he reached the end, he stopped suddenly and turned around. 

“Bye-bye, Elide!” 

She chuckled and waved, “Bye, Kohana! See you later!” With that, Kohana slammed the doors open and ran along. “I’ll go get his stuff for you.” Lorcan and Elide turned back into the class to walk into the cubby, both gathering his things. 

Lorcan dropped something and they both kneeled to grab it, their fingers brushing. Elide paused at the same time that he did and barely noticed it when the rest of the things she was holding dropped from her hands. 

They were barely breathing, their eyes locked as they slowly, carefully standing. Elide wasn’t sure who moved first before her arms were around his neck and they were kissing, his hands gripping her waist. 

Elide bit his bottom lip, flicking over the slight sting with her tongue as her hands slid into his hair. “Lorcan,” she breathed, moaning softly as he pulled her tightly against him.

She tugged on his hair as he pulled his lips away from hers and trailed them down her throat to the place that he knew drove her crazy. Anneith save her, she was about to lose control in five, four, three, two- “Wait, stop.” 

Lorcan pulled away, looking at her through hooded eyes. “What’s wrong?” Fuck, she just wanted to kiss him again but she couldn’t. He sensed her hesitation and stepped away, their chests rising and falling raggedly. 

Elide stepped back, startling as she bumped into the wall, her body prickling at the loss of body contact. “We can’t do this. It’s wrong, I’m your son’s teacher.” She hugged herself, shaking her head. “We shouldn’t.” 

Lorcan swallowed, nodding as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “You’re right. I’ll, um, I’ll just…” 

“Yeah. It’s… it’s fine. We can just… forget.” She refused to look at him, her face flushing. “This. We can forget this.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sorry, I–” 

“Oh, no, you don’t have to apologize, we can just… forget.” 

“It’s forgotten.” 

They both fell silent, waiting around awkwardly until another parent knocked on the door, “Hello?” 

“I’m gonna… go. With the parent,” Elide said, smoothing down her dress as she turned and walked out, speaking brightly. “Hey there!” 

Elide showed the couple whose names she couldn’t recall for the life of her to the desk, letting them sit down. 

Neither Lorcan or Elide looked at each other as he walked out and Elide didn’t know why she felt the urge to cry, to sob really. She couldn’t figure it out for the life of her why it felt like it wasn’t supposed to be like this - like they’d just barely missed each other, both just going on with their lives. What an ordinary ending for something that was so obviously not.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: i told you it was fun fresh and cool! some might even say ‘a darn good time’ or ‘a blast’ 

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