#still. could not take away salary and benefits!

[clonerightsagenda]

Saw a (fake) post about someone dating their boss and I know the power dynamics are part of the appeal for many people in employer/employee ships but I have binged too much Ask a Manager to not be concerned by the HR implications. Employer/employee shipfic where the core plotline is restructuring the workplace into a co-op.

[augustinewrites]

alhaitham almost walks right past you in the hall, too engrossed in whatever he’s reading. it takes you gently grasping his wrist for him to look up, expression brightening briefly before diving right back into his papers. 

“is everything okay?” you ask when you notice the knot that’s formed between his brows. “i’ve hardly seen you all day.”

“i’m fine,” he tells you, which lets you know that he’s certainly stressed about something. he sighs, returning the correspondence to the envelope tucked underneath his arm. “i just don’t understand why dehya won’t accept the akademiya’s job offer.”

in his capacity as the acting grand sage, he’s been trying to get her in the akademiya’s employ for weeks, but the mercenary’s been as tough to wear down as the wall of samiel itself. “ah. still having trouble recruiting her?”

“i’ve already offered a generous salary, benefits, a signing bonus, even a housing stipend. she’d practically be working side by side with the general mahamatra.”

“well, working with the matra means she’d have to spend a great deal of time in sumeru city,” you point out. “that’s probably something she doesn’t prefer.”

“why not?” he asks (because while your man is smart beyond belief, he can be a little dense sometimes). “we have everything here.”

“that’s true, but we’re also quite far from aaru village,” you say slowly, hoping he picks up on what you’re implying. 

“i appreciate the geography lesson, but that doesn’t help me figure out how to hire–”

“i was trying to be obscure,” you press, drawing a breath. “because being in sumeru full-time means that she’ll have to spend time away from candace.” 

he stares at you blankly, waiting for you to elaborate.

“haitham–” you say, pressing your hands together and glancing around quickly to confirm no one is within earshot. “dehya and candace are knocking boots.” 

he seems taken aback by what you’ve just whispered, pausing in his stride to process it. “wait, what?”

“it’s an old expression from mondstadt that means–”

“i’m familiar with the expression. i’m just asking why you’re so positive that they are having… relations.”

“because i just know. they have crazy chemistry. nilou sees it too.”

“do either of you have evidence?”

you hesitate. “no…”

“then you’re not positive. you’re only speculating.” 

“i’m not speculating,” you insist with a pout, crossing your arms over your chest. “i just know–”

“oh, like you just knew that kaveh was only going to stay with me for less than a month?”

“that’s different,” you argue. so what if kaveh’s been staying at alhaitham’s for more than six months? that was due to various, independent factors that had nothing to do with you. “but the way they are around each other–”

“gossip is an unreliable source of information,” he says flatly. alhaitham, as a rule, did not deign to entertain gossip. it was a premise built upon the unsteady grounds of conjecture, and he could not care less to waste his time surmising about other people’s personal lives. 

“but–”

“therefore, your advice is redundant.”

you take the files from under his arm, reaching up and smacking him on the back of the head with them. “my advice is always relevant. you can trust me on this.” 

alhaitham adjusts his headphones with a sigh, a pained but contemplative look on his face. He knows you’re right, and he knows that he’s hit a wall with this proposal. “fine. i will utilize your…advice, to adjust my proposal.” 

“that’s what i like to hear.”

the two of you continue walking in silence, yours smug and his pensive. then, after a moment, 

“you realize you just hit the acting grand sage, right?”

“oh please, you don’t scare me.” you meet his amused stare with open defiance, getting up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his jaw, then his cheek, and finally his lips. “and when dehya accepts this job proposal, i can think of a few ways you can repay me.” 

_____

“you want to offer me what?”

“you heard me,” alhaitham shrugs, leaning back in his plush desk chair. “the akademiya is willing to offer you compensation of up to ten thousand gold for any and all travel between sumeru city and aaru village.”

alhaitham may be in charge of the entire nation at the moment, but he doesn’t quite feel like it when dehya is in the room. she leans forward, resting her elbows atop the highly important documents on his desk as she stares at him. “why would you do that?” 

“so you can stay in contact with your loved ones.” 

the mercenary scoffs at that. “alhaitham, come on. i know you’ve done your research. i don’t have any family in aaru village.”

moment of truth.

“i was actually referring to…significant others.”

dehya’s brows raise in surprise.

_____

when he returns that night, the first thing alhaitham does when he joins you in bed is take the patient files from your hands and place them on the nightstand.

you frown, reaching for them. “i wasn’t done with those.”

he doesn’t argue with you, instead climbing on top of you and caging you against the bed, a knee pushed between your legs. he merely chuckles when you push at his chest, cause you’re not really trying.

he simply chases after you, and any fight you had to get back to your work dissipates when he presses his lips to yours.

“oh…” you sigh, quickly looping your arms around him to drag him closer, patting your lips to let him deepen the kiss. you gasp when he moves down to press kisses to your shoulder, slowly trailing more up your neck, your jaw, the shell of your ear.  

“dehya must have accepted the offer then,” you breathe, your eyes beginning to flutter shut.

“part time only,” he murmurs. “but she signed on.”

you hook your leg around his waist, grinning “oh, so i was…what’s the word?” 

he nips at your ear in reprimand, only making you laugh as he mutters, you were right, under his breath. 

“oh, don’t pout, baby,” you tease, hands roaming the well sculpted planes of his chest. “let’s just—"

“if you say ‘knock boots,’ i’m going to leave you here and sleep on the couch.”

[rustingcat]

Vigilante

Kara was late.

She hated being late, but the amount of paperwork she had to sign was much larger than she anticipated, and the lack of signal in the classified room in the DEO meant that she couldn't alert Lena on time.

Kara made it to the lab an hour later, more exhausted than she realised.

"Kara! Is everything okay?" Lena asked the moment Kara put her bag down.

"Yes, I'm so sorry for the delay. I had to sign a LOT of papers for the DEO." Lena seemed so engulfed in the work, their work. The last thing she wanted was for Lena to feel like she's forced to take on the load.

"The DEO? Did something happen?" The worry in her voice was clear. Kara put a reassuring smile on her face to take some of it away.

"Yes, yes. I just signed an employment contract, I'm officially no longer a vigilante!" Kara said with a small chuckle.

"Oh, why the change? I remember you weren't a fan of working for the government before, especially with everything that went down with Colonel Hailey." Lena walked closer to her, a concern not completely gone.

"Well, now that my identity is public knowledge, Alex was very adamant in reminding me how open I am for lawsuits. Both private ones and from the government, like they could potentially sue me for stuff they ask me to do! How crazy is that?"

"Did you sign it already? I could go over it to make sure they don't put any peculiar articles or subsections."

"It's ok, Alex is still in touch with Lucy Lane. They went over the contract together several times before presenting it to me. Lucy is really good with this stuff." She reassured her.

"So you're a government official?"

"Yeah, free from any Supergirl related lawsuits, and with some pretty sweet tax benefits. Plus all of the salary they wanted to give me is going to go to different kinds of selected charities of my choosing, so that's awesome."

"I'm glad it all worked out."

"Me too." Kara breathed in relief.

"I have some news, too." Lena said as an excited smile spread on her face.

"Do tell," Kara said, biting her lip as a smile matching Lena started spreading.

"Okay, while you were off signing what was no doubt a mountain of paperwork," Kara nodded, "I found and fixed the problem with the distributor." Lena proclaimed proudly.

"What was the problem?" Kara asked, matching her excitement.

"We switched the materials connecting it to the compressor, but not the ones connected to the bio-terminal!" She explained quickly, her hands moving around in excited blur to match.

"Oh Rao! So it means–"

"We can start testing!"

"Ahh- Lena that's amazing!" Kara crushed into her best friend, giving her the big tight hug she deserves. She absolutely loved hugging Lena, really she took any opportunity she got. Feeling her warp around her tightly as if not wanting to let go, her smell that somehow always smelled amazing and feeling her heartbeat so close to hers. Hugging Lena was amazing, and she really deserved the most amazing hug after that discovery.

"Wait, we don't have their DNA to test it with." Kara noted once they pulled away.

"It's just a test to see if it can even process something like that, It doesn't have to be theirs. We already have exactly what we need." Lena explained.

"What do you mean?" Kara was confused, they didn't collect any DNA ahead of time.

"Samples of two specimens of the same biological sex, not to mention a combination of human and non-human DNA." Lena smiled at her.

"Oh." The room suddenly felt hotter. "Yeah, no… yes I see. Yeah that- that would definitely work." They would be combining their DNA. She and Lena. Their biological data would be combined. Kara felt very normal about this.

"Will you be able to extract some of your blood? If not, we can try saliva." Lena asked and she started to look around for the tubes.

"I think I can," Kara answered, looking at her fingers in an attempt to decide which one would be easier to cut. It's not like she would have to worry about the long term effect of the wound as it would heal once she stepped out into the sun.

Lena was already grabbing a syringe by the time Kara decided to go with her thumb, hoping to make the surface of the wound big enough to extract more blood.

She checked with her tongue to see which of her teeth is the sharpest –her upper left fang, and attempted her first try. It was painful, yet unsuccessful. She braced herself for the unavailable pain and tried again. The metallic taste in her mouth paired with the pounding pain in her finger told her she was successful. She took out her thumb and tried to lift it in a way that no blood would spill out. She held it above the tube Lena handed to her, letting the small drops fill it as much as she could, squeezing a bit despite the pain, until she was satisfied with the amount.

A quick walk to the window, letting the reflected rays of the sunshine upon her finger, fixed the little cut she created. She only wished Lena had similar powers. The syringe made her cut relatively small, but a cut was still a cut in Kara’s book. Lena was pressing a small piece of cotton to her arm, holding it tightly as she worked.

Kara walked closer to her. She was healed at this point and just as familiar with the machine as Lena, it was her turn to put on some work. She took Lenas wounded arm and gave it a small kiss to make it better. Lena's cheeks were immediately coloured with a light share of pink.

"All better now." Kara smiled at her. "Do you mind if I take it from here? You can keep pressing on the arm."

Lena simply nodded.

Inserting their blood samples carefully, Kara directed the machine to start the process. It was odd, she thought to herself, seeing all of the biological specification options for the combined data of her and Lena's DNA. Afraid to make a mistake, she slowly pressed on each button, choosing to unspecify everything before starting the process.

Kara looked at Lena with an exciting smile, biting down both her upper and bottom lips in the anticipation.

"And now we wait." Lena smiled back.

They watched in silence as the machine processed their data, searching for any errors or possible problems. They went through the math and the coding multiple times, they were at the very least confident in their work. The test was not to see a baby going through a full term, that process would take a few months even in their very advanced machine. Not to mention that due to the possibility of success, they knew that their first test subject should be for people who would be willing parents. So the test itself was only to see if the machine can prepare their given data to what could later become an embryo and then a healthy fetus should they choose to continue.

The process bar got closer to the end. No errors yet.

Lena was still pressing on her wound as she followed the process bar closely with her eyes. Kara wasn't sure if it was worry, tension or excitement on her face. Probably a combination of the three. She couldn't say she was faring any better, chewing in her bottom lip with similar emotions.

The bar got closer to the end. 97%, 98%, 99%, 100%.

Kara instinctively inhaled quickly. Holding her breath until the bar disappeared completely, replaced by a 'process complete' message on the screen.

"Oh my god!" She heard Lena exhale in relief.

"It worked!" Kara turned to face her, mouth wide open in shock and excitement.

"It did!" Lena confirmed in amazement.

They were hugging again before Kara fully realised she was doing it. Jumping in excitement in Lena’s arms as the latter laughed in response. When she settled down she noticed how close their faces were to each other, she could feel the heat radiating off of Lena's face warm her own. Suddenly their excited hearts became louder to her ears as she watched Lena wet her own lips. Kara instinctively mimicked the movement. They stayed like that for a moment, before Lena suddenly pulled away. Kara felt a pang of disappointment she could not name.

"I should check on this one project before I leave for today. Could you finish everything here?" Lena hurried to find her back, refusing to meet Kara's eyes.

"Sure," she had no problem wrapping everything herself. "What do you want to do with the PF?" It was the name they decided on for a successful processed DNA combination, a shorthand for Potential Fetus.

"It's not important, you can dispose of it." Lena finished collecting her stuff and exited before Kara could respond.

"Right." She muttered to the empty room. The project she went to check on must've been important.

Kara turned her attention back to the machine. She was familiar with the options, she designed the UI herself after all, yet they gave her pause. The button to proceed to the next stage had somehow become the most fascinating thing in the world. Flash images of small hands, a wild patch of dark hair and big striking green eyes passed through her mind in quick succession. She only noticed she clicked the button once a warning message asking her if she was sure she'd like to proceed popped up on the screen. Small panic went through her body as she realised what she almost did, Rao she almost greenlighted the creation of a baby for her and Lena.

She quickly pressed no, and moved on to check the other options. She had no need to restart the process to respect the bio-data for the PF, nor make changes to the DNA. She stared at the button to terminate the PF and all data related to it, but couldn't bring herself to do it. The images flashed her mind again. She wasn't sure what it was but she couldn't bring herself to do it, she couldn't press the button.

A message from Lena asking if she wanted a ride home made her notice the time. She sent her a quick message saying she would be right there, and turned back to the machine. Kara made a quick decision to store the data for later use, just in case they wanted to reexamine it, of course. Plus it was their first success, it could also be a reminder of their progress.

Kara finished turning off whatever unnecessary parts to keep the power consumption at a minimum, went over everything twice and spared a moment to stare at the container, before she left.

The images followed her to her dream that night, along with a familiar dimpled smile by her side.

Read in order in AO3

[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job, Post 411: Double Trouble, p1

Fred sat at the bar nursing his third - no, wait, fourth? - beer. It had been a long day, and he knew sooner or later this little respite would have to come to an end. Eventually he would have to go home on this Thursday night and face the music. Things had been bad for him lately. He couldn’t seem to do anything right anymore. His new boss at the company had just demoted him and put him back to part time. That meant no more salary and no more benefits. When he complained, earlier today, after having finally summoned the courage to step into her office? She fired him.

What was he going to tell Alicia?

He took another swig of beer and glanced around the nearly empty bar. A few regulars were still around standing by the pool table for their weekly game, but otherwise the place looked deserted.

Man, this bar used to be packed, every night. He would come here with his buddies all the time to sit and watch a game, shoot darts or just shoot the shit and have a good time. What happened? Less than a year ago some new  megacorp had  come in and bought up almost the whole city block. This place was one of the few remaining holdouts, which honestly meant trouble for their business. These days they could barely even pull in the drunkards off the street, let alone anyone with actual money.

Not that I’m doing much better than them, now, he privately scoffed, spending what little money he had left on drinks just so he could avoid going home to her.

Alicia had been particularly hard on him lately and it was really starting to gnaw at him. She seemed to be enjoying pushing all her recent successes in his face, and she loved to point out all his failures - comparing what was going on in his life to what she was doing with hers. It was like a game to her, showing him how her recent successes pulled him more and more into her ever-growing shadow. At first he was happy for her wins at work, he really was. For one thing, she owned her own business now. She was a personal trainer that spent time at Big Body Fitness and a couple other women’s gyms downtown. She was pulling in a huge amount of clients, had just hired four other trainers to help with the workload, and had plans to make her business massive. And, honestly, she was starting to get pretty massive herself. She - like so many women these days - had wanted to bulk up; Alicia had started doing that in spades. Lots of food, lots of training, lots of weight. And the bigger she got, the more successful her business became, the more she seemed to like making him feel small. And, if he was honest with himself, he did feel small. Small, weak and pathetic, but he refused to let it show, he refused to give up like that.

They’d had a massive argument last night. Alicia had said she was sick of his ‘games’, his avoiding the truth. She wanted him to admit it to her, to everyone, that he just wasn’t enough anymore. That really pissed him off. Well fuck her right? I’ll show her! he thought, taking another gulp of beer, I’ll show her by…by…

By getting fired from my fucking job. Dammit…

Fred slouched down and laid his head on the bar. He felt pathetic. She had completely ignored him at breakfast. Nothing he ever did seemed good enough for her and it was starting to get him down.

<ring-a-ling!>

The little bell at the bar's front door had tinkled, signaling a new entry.

“Whoah, this place is like a dump?”

“I know right?”

Fred lifted his gaze, turned a bit in his seat to see who it was...

Two tall, young, dark-haired beauties had just walked in. One of them was on the phone with someone. Their entry was loud, their voices ringing over the bar’s typical, wan hush, but Fred was too distracted by their looks and a bit far away to really hear what they were saying. Both girls were wearing low cut scoop neck sweaters, each showing healthy amounts of boob flesh, along with short skirts and knee high boots. Their outfits left little to the imagination; these two were built. Plus, they looked similar to one another, like they could be sisters…or maybe even twins? From his perch at the bar Fred swallowed hard, unable to avert his gaze when suddenly one of the girls looked up directly at him.

“Yeah…is that the guy? The dork at the bar?” said the one girl, into her phone.

The one not on a call took a picture of him.

“Alright…you know you like so totally owe us right?” said the phone girl.

“Yeah we need to get in shape like, yesterday?” the other said.

“We do this for you and…? Good. We’ll bring him back when we’re done with him?” The one on the phone hung up and focused on Fred.  He was, in his four-beer stupor, blankly staring back at them. “Okay, Bee, you ready to show him a good time?”

“Yeah like that guy in the club last week? Do you think he remembers his name yet?”

“I don't know Bee, but do you think he remembers us?”

“Not if we did our job right?”

“Haha right?? Ready to do it again?”

“Blehh..I mean I guess?” replied the other, “Why couldn’t it be him instead? I want to try it on, like, him?”

“We can pretend?”

The two had just gotten off work. He hadn’t been in today and they hadn’t liked that.

“Yeah I guess? But I guess I am kinda excited to do it again, even on this guy, aren’t you?”

“See what we can really do? Yeah I guess?”

Fred had finally got a hold of himself, blushing as he turned back in his seat to look away. He tried his best to play it cool, but he couldn’t help but sneak another glance over his shoulder to look at them. Jesus those tits I-

They’d both fixed him with a piercing gaze, which spooked him and caused him to immediately turn back to his beer. His face flushed. He took another drink, tried to settle himself but he could feel their eyes burning into his back. He glanced over his shoulder again and they each curled a long manicured finger in his direction beckoning him over.

What the fuck?

He couldn’t believe it. At first he turned this way and that, looking around foolishly and figuring that they were perhaps indicating someone else, someone in this otherwise empty bar. But, no. They were, in fact, looking at him, and he felt his face redden even further. They both frowned with identical expressions and repeated the gesture, calling him over to them with curled fingers. It didn’t really feel like a request.

Grabbing his bottle, he rapidly downed the last dregs of beer for a final bit of liquid courage before getting, shakily, to his feet. He could feel their eyes on him, and he became suddenly aware of how quickly his heart was beating.

This is like a dream! He couldn’t help but marvel, Two beautiful girls - twins even?- and they want to talk to me. Maybe it’s a good thing I got fired after all, found myself here on a Thursday night haha…

Before he knew what he was doing, Fred found his legs carrying him across the bar and towards the two buxom strangers. He realized he was shaking like a nervous schoolboy.

“Hello sweetie,” one of them said, boldly reaching out to cup his chin in her hand, “aren’t you just..?”

“…the cutest little guy?” finished the other.

“I’m Brittni,” spoke the first, “and this is Bobbi. What’s your name?”

“I’m .. I’m Fred,” he answered, trying his best not to glance down at the two sets of huge, firm breasts that seemed to be put on prominent display for him.

“Hiiiiii Fred ♡♡” they both sang out in perfect unison.

“H-h-hi,” he stammered.

“Why don’t you join us Fred?” began Brittni, “Aren’t you-”

“Lonely?” finished Bobbi, both of their faces pouting in mock sadness.

“Yeah c’mon, we’re, like, the prettiest girls here, right?”

“We’re, like, the only girls here?”

The two of them giggled.

Fred was a deer caught in the headlights as they led him by the chin over to a booth. Bobbi sat first, scooching all the way down along the seat and making sure there was room for both him and her friend on her right. She patted the seat as Brittni guided him down to sit, finally letting go of his chin and scooching him in too. She gave him a dimpled, heartwarming smile.

God she’s stunning, he thought, They both are.

Brittni then sat down on the same bench and he immediately found himself sandwiched, his hips between two thick pairs of thighs pressing up against him. Wow these girls are built, he thought, feeling the casual strength in their legs as they rubbed and squeezed up against him from both sides. He could already feel their warmth through his jeans. Their strong perfume filled his senses, making him feel heady, almost overwhelming him.

“There isn’t that better?” asked Brittni, smiling brightly at him on his right.

“Y-yes but-“

“But what?” Bobbi cut in from his left, “Wouldn’t you like to get to know each other?”

“Wh-what .. what do you want to know?” asked Fred, his speech patterns falling into their rhythm - they asked a lot of questions - as he turned to one girl and then the other..

“Well, for starters-” began Brittni.

“What’s a cute little guy like you doing out all alone on a Thursday night ?” finished Brittni, as they both twirled locks of  hair between long, slim fingers.

Fred looked down at the table. ‘Little guy’? He wasn’t that short, just shorter than them. They must be each - what?   - five-nine? Five-ten? So, like, an inch or two? Taller by quite a bit more, certainly, in their heels, and sitting higher than him here in the booth. So, yeah, okay, he felt smaller than them. Little.

He was unsure of what to say, how to answer. Why am I here? He’d never been good at lying and something about these girls, their confidence and stunning good looks, their physical presence, made him want to be truthful.

“I .. I had an argument ..” he began, eyes still cast downwards, “a big one .. with my girlfriend.”

“Awww you poor thing,” Brittni immediately cooed, “Girls can be so demanding nowadays can’t they?” As she’d spoke, she pushed her breasts into his right side and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Yes they can, can’t they? Those nasty big, mean girls?” Bobbi continued, mirroring her friend’s movements on his left. They both now had their heads on his slumped shoulders, both with a knowing smile across their lips.

Fred found himself nodding in solemn agreement. Something about being around these girls just made him so passive…so comfortable. He continued. “Nothing I do lately seems to be good enough for her. She blows up at the slightest thing. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time.”

“Awwwww…” they both cooed.

Bobbi ran her fingernail lightly up his arm, causing him to shiver. “Are you a good listener, Fred?” she asked.

“You seem like a good listener?” Brittni added.

“I…I think so?” he replied, suddenly doubting himself. Was he really listening, when Alicia and he talked? Or was he just being stubborn like Alicia always said? Was he what girls wanted these days, or was he really behind the times? Maybe he was a loser.

“Because don’t girls really want a boy who listens to them?” Brittni said.

“Yeah I think they do, Bee?” Bobbi replied, both she and her friend’s attention laser focused on the smaller man between them, “Can you be that boy, Fred?”

Being called a ‘boy’? That made him shiver, the girls noticed. Okay this was getting fun, they both thought in unison. They felt a little tingle, almost electric, between them.

“Can you be the good, attentive boy who really listens to what a girl is saying?” said the girl on his right. Brittni, correct? “Because…when you think about it, Freddie-”

“-don’t girls know best?” the other one finished, “...Freddie?”

“I … I … guess so? I don’t know?” he said, questioning in this moment, if it was Alicia that was really the problem. Maybe it was him? He was having trouble thinking straight, probably from all the beer, but it kinda made sense? After all he was the one who was having all the problems - job, money, everything - and Alicia…she just seemed to have everything figured out. He should really be appreciative of these girls. Despite their obvious youth they really seemed remarkably perceptive.

“So - are you two…sisters?” he asked.

“Um, kinda?” said the one on his right

“No not really?” followed the one on his left.

“Yes for sure…sorta?”

Uh, okay. “Do you…have boyfriends?” he asked, which he saw made them pause.

They both blinked.

Visions of Dr J.

YES.

YES.

“No not really?” they both said, at the same time.

“But we wish we did, right Bee?” said Bobbi.

“Absolutely?” answered Britt.

“And Freddie’s cute, right?” one girl asked the other.

“Oh for sure, huh?” came the answer.

“If you were our boyfriend, we’d have to keep you on a pretty tight leash, wouldn’t we?” Bobbi said, her minty fresh breath washing over him.

“Omigod Bobbi?!” Brittni giggled, but then leaned in closer with her own waft of breath, “A leash haha?? But yeah who knows when another girl might try to snatch you away?”

Fred felt the two pairs of firm heavy breasts suddenly weighing him down, from either side. They were trapping him, pinning his arms to his sides as their strong perfume came flooding into his nostrils.

“Does your girlfriend keep you on a leash, hm Freddie?” asked one, causing the other to giggle.

“Ahh!…What?” he blurted. What did she just ask?

Now they both giggled.

This was getting heavy, quick, and he knew it was not a conversation he should be in, if he was going to stay true to Alicia…but he found himself answering them.  “She…she does like to know what I’m doing…” he stammered, feeling their breasts squashing against him. “And..so...what should I do???” Fred asked in a sudden panic, genuinely seeking answers. “Alicia will be so mad if she finds out I’m at a bar…about my job…I’ve had a few drinks too,” he said ashamedly, looking to the girls for guidance. I hope they tell me I shouldn’t worry…

The girls giggled again, squashed into him tighter.

“How about…?” Brittni began.

“You come home with us?” Bobbi finished, linking her right arm through his left one as Brittni did the same on his other side.

“We can let you relax?” Brittni offered, “At our place?”

“Yeah aren’t things always better when you sleep with them?”  Bobbi asked.

"Oh, Bobbi,” Brittini corrected, “don’t you mean sleep ‘on’ them?”

“If that’s how he likes it, yeah?”

Both girls giggled.

“What ? No…no I couldn’t .. she would know .. she always knows,” he whined. Suddenly, he was struck with the reality of this situation; it had just gone past any innocent flirting. Fueled by his drive to stay true to the woman he loved, he had a sudden burst of willpower. “I’ve…I’ve got to go”, he said, trying to stand up but the girls - with a giggle -  held him down and pressed into him more firmly, easily keeping him in place. His slight frame remained wedged snugly between their thick thighs and heavy breasts.

“Where are you trying to go?”

“Yeah shhh, Freddie, shhh…try to breathe?”

After a pathetic whine and another brief and equally futile struggle, Fred seemed to settle down. He wasn’t going anywhere unless they let him, and he did calm down as he accepted that, and the more he took nice deep breaths. The girls’ perfume, now stronger and sweeter than before, had filled the space of their booth and fully seeped into him. It began to make him feel more drunk than the beers he’d had.

Fred’s skull lolled until he found himself staring at the ceiling, his mouth agape as Brittni and Bobbi casually continued to chat among themselves. They, found, though, as they sat there with this guy between them, that their connection grew stronger and stronger by the moment, that they needed fewer and fewer words to say what they meant. Getting him excited, turning him on together, was giving them a collective focus, syncing them up, increasing their abilities. It made them both giggle, and it became a little bit of a game, as they began to push the boundaries of what they could do.

Cool, huh?

Very cool.

They continued on as if he wasn’t there, wedged tightly between their firm, strong bodies. They ordered drinks, finished them at a leisurely pace as they talked over Fred’s head. Finally, though, they were-

“Ready?” Brittni asked.

“Ready,” replied Bobbi. They both stood, arms again linked with the smaller man, pushing their seat bench backwards and lifting him effortlessly out of his seat and up, up, up into the air. With them in their high heeled boots, Fred’s feet dangled a good half-foot off the ground.

“Let’s go then?” Brittni said, as they walked arm-in-arm out of the bar with Fred held securely suspended between them.

“Where .. w-where are you taking me?” Fred asked woozily. He hadn’t had that much to drink tonight, had he?

“Back to our place?”

“Didn’t we tell you? You're ours for tonight?”

“Or for however long it takes you to sleep off all those silly little thoughts in your head?”

“Or..?”

“Or maybe we’ll have to keep you?”

==========================================

big thanks to Frag592 for this one, and allowing RiF and myself our heavy-handed edits. Part 2 still in the works, coming soon.

[stevesjockstrap]

Crash & Burn

Rated M • modern era, no UD • read on ao3

Friends with benefits, pining, idiots to lovers feels

Eddie’s phone buzzed, and buzzed again. He looked down at it. 1:39am. Two messages from Steve.

Groaning, he flipped his phone over and peeled himself off his couch to pace back and forth across the room, hands raking through his hair. Why couldn’t he just block his number? It’d been weeks (maybe months?) since he’d heard from him.

He only reached out after some girl broke his heart. Again.

Eddie couldn’t keep-

His phone started buzzing more urgently, repeatedly. Picking it up, he saw Steve’s name and had to answer it.

When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you

Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart

“Hey.”

“Hi Eds…”

Just two words made everything come flying back front and center into Eddie’s mind. The amazing sex, sure, but mostly the soft touches, staying up all night talking, the way Steve looked at him like-

He shook his head, clearing whatever that was from his thoughts.

“What’s up neighbor? Need a cup of sugar?” He winced as the words left his mouth. For once his double entendre not being intentional. Oh. That was the other thing. They lived in the same row of townhouses, Eddie getting to see whichever current conquest Steve was wooing come and go, or Steve himself walking hand in hand with the supermodel of the week.

Thankfully Steve snickered back at his dumb joke. “I don’t need any sugar, actually. But I wanted to see if you were as bored as I am. Wanna come have a beer?”

This was his play, usually. Get Eddie over for a casual hang out, watch a movie, drink a beer, maybe smoke a joint. Once they were both a lot looser, things ended up happening.

Eddie would have to hear about whichever girl it was who Steve was sure was ‘The One,’ who was clearly using him for his name and money and when they’d find out Steve Harrington actually had no contact with his rich parents and only a upper middle class salary, they usually didn’t last long.

But Eddie was also a sucker. “Sure, man. Give me a few.”

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you

It’s hard to find relief and people can be so cold

When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can’t take anymore

Let me be the one you call

After a few beers each and politely listening to the play by play of the breakup (Dana this time), Eddie eyed Steve as he crept slowly closer to him on the couch.

Maybe it would be fine this time. They could just blow off some steam. It’s not like he had any better offers.

He pretended to be very interested suddenly in whatever dumb sitcom Steve had thrown on for background noise, and a hand slid up his thigh. He bit into the side of his cheek and stayed still. The butterflies he got every time he was in this position came back full force.

“Steve, I-“ he shook his head, but then caught the look on his face, like a rejection right now would send him crumbling.

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You’re not alone

“C’mere,” he breathed instead.

They met in a slow kiss, less heated and desperate than usual. Eddie cupped his jaw tenderly, trying in equal measures to hold back and show him some of the emotion he’d bottled up for so long.

Steve gasped an “Ed-“ into his mouth and shoved closer to him. They wrapped their arms around each other and he forgot he wasn’t supposed to be doing this.

When hopes and dreams are far away

And you feel like you can’t face the day

Let me be the one you call

The first slow thrust into Steve’s body was heart stopping. He didn’t think it had ever been like this, slow and gentle, instead of the frenzy he usually felt.

But that wasn’t altogether the truth, as he sucked in a breath, he realized while they usually came together in a rush, he’d usually find himself slowing it down. Making it more tender and caring.

Steve pulled him down for a soft kiss and he sunk into it with a small sound. Oh no. He pulled back. They could do slow passionate sex or they could have soft tender kisses but he couldn’t do both. He couldn’t take it. Especially not the eventual ghosting once Steve found a new girl to fall for.

But Steve was looking up at him now. Panting, cheeks flushed. Staring wide eyed up at him almost reverently. Eddie got stuck in his deep brown eyes for a long moment, transfixed until they both gasped on a particularly good thrust and Eddie realized what was happening.

He loved him. Was soul crushingly in love with a guy who only used him after he was broken up with.

Unable to meet his gaze, he mouthed along his neck and shoulder instead, allowing himself to hide his face, committing the little sighs and punched out sounds to memory.

This would have to be the last time.

When you feel all alone and a loyal friend is hard to find

You’re caught in a one-way street with the monsters in your head

When hope and dreams are far away

And you feel like you can’t face the day

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he jumped. Peering at it, he ignored the new text and looked back at Gareth.

“Why are you so jumpy, bro?”

Shaking his head, he tried to return the conversation back to the gigs they had lined up, but Gareth could always see right through him.

“Uh uh, whose texts are you avoiding? That’s not like you. Spill.”

“Gare, I promise, it’s nothing,” he raked his hands through his hair and Gareth raised an eyebrow at him. Well fuck, now he’d done his tell, hadn’t he? Sighing, he decided on, “It’s just something that needs to fizzle out on its own. A mistake that I keep making. I should block him.”

“Ahh,” Gareth nodded. “Hot neighbor guy.”

His jaw dropped. “Wha- how? I mean, shit.” He leaned down and thunked his forehead on the table. “How do you know he’s hot?”

Giggling, Gareth patted his shoulder. “The mistakes that we can’t block- they’re always hot. So what happened? Usually you’re off to the races when he texts.”

Sitting back up, he sighed. “I can’t keep doing this. I lo- I care too much about him and he only wants to hook up after some girl fucks him over. It’s killing me.”

Gareth hummed at him, nodding. “Caught feelings for the booty call. That’s a lot, dude. Did you tell him?”

“Are you kidding? No way! Zero chance that he’d actually stop his womanizing ways to have something real with me. He just likes getting fu-“

Gareth held up a hand. “I don’t need the details, man.”

Laughing, Eddie shook his head again. “Maybe if I just don’t answer, he’ll find some girl who wants to peg him and go run off with her.”

“There’s always a chance.”

‘Cause there has always been heartache and pain

And when it’s over you’ll breathe again

You’ll breathe again

Groaning, Eddie read through the last text Steve had sent again.

Hi. I know you’re avoiding me and I just wanted to know why. Did I do something wrong? I’m home all night if you want to talk.

He knew he was being an asshole by ignoring him. He knew exactly how shitty it felt to be ghosted after their encounters and now he was doing the same thing.

Knocking on his door felt like approaching the executioner. Would he get punched in the face? Kicked in the balls? Would he need to move? He really liked his place.

“Oh hey, he is alive after all,” Steve said sardonically as he pulled the door open.

“It appears so. Can I come in?”

Steve seemed weary, but nodded and turned to walk into the kitchen, propping himself at a stool at the bar. Eddie stood on the other side of the counter from him.

“I’m sorry,” he huffed. It didn’t seem like enough, but he made himself relax his shoulders and continue. He looked down at the swirls in the countertop as he talked. “I can’t do this anymore. I- um, I really like you, Steve. And this only calling me when you get your heart broken is … it’s too much for me.”

After a beat, he chanced a look up at Steve’s face and winced. He looked like he’d gotten ice water thrown in his lap.

“I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I just worked it out myself very recently. I thought I could do the casual hookups but my heart can’t take it anymore. Because I know you don’t feel the same and-“

“Of course I don’t feel the same,” Steve growled out, his face now completely closed off and hard.

Eddie clenched his jaw and gave a stiff nod.

“I’m not- I don’t swing that way, man.”

Instead of arguing, he just nodded again and walked towards the door. Somehow that’d been worse than he’d expected. He almost wished he would’ve received an actual punch instead.

When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you

Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart

A few days later he pointedly turned away when he saw Steve walking hand in hand with another blonde woman. Good for him. Maybe he’d settle down and find a different neighbor to fuck him through his denial.

He finally blocked his number and his Instagram. Gareth took him out for depressed drinks and darts. He started parking around the side of his townhouse and coming in the back door when he couldn’t stop himself from checking for strange cars on the other end of the lot.

Maybe he would need to move.

If you need to fall apart (you’re not alone) I can mend a broken heart

And if you need to crash then crash and burn (you’re never alone)

You’re not alone

A pounding woke him and he pushed away from the warm body next to him to look at the time. 2:11am. What the fuck?

Throwing pants on, he went downstairs and flicked a light on.

Someone was standing on his porch.

Throwing the door open, he immediately realized it was pouring down rain, Steve was at his door, and he should’ve put a shirt on.

“Hi.” Steve started. His eyes widened as he took in Eddie’s appearance, rumpled hair and hickeys going down his neck and chest.

He’d taken home the pretty boy in the bomber jacket from the bar. Sue him. And-

“Who is it, babe?”

Steve’s eyes widened further and his face paled. Mouth opening and closing before his face closed off again and he turned away. “Never mind.”

Without thinking, he followed him, pulling the door shut behind him.

“Steve! Wait!”

Stupidly, he reached out for him and grabbed his arm to pull him around.

Steve yanked his arm back with a huff. “Save it. I see you’ve moved on quickly.”

“Me?” He sputtered, throwing his hands up. “I’ve moved on quickly? How many girls have you fucked this month? This week?”

Starting to turn away again, he grumbled, “Just go back to your-“

Eddie was suddenly so deeply tired and he couldn’t fight anymore. “You came over here in the rain to knock on my door at two AM, man. Talk to me. Please.”

That knocked the fight out of Steve, and he looked like himself again. He sighed, pushing his wet floppy hair out of his face. It made him look even more pitiful, like a little wet puppy.

“I know. I’ve been a dick.” Steve swiped across his face and Eddie’s heart clenched. “It dawned on me. Tonight. That our… arrangement before…”

Thunder boomed and they both jumped. Eddie tried to hide his satisfaction as Steve edged closer to him.

“Just, I realized I looked forward to seeing you, sometimes a lot more than the girl I was telling you about. I was stupid. I’m so sorry, Eds. These last few weeks I’ve been a mess. I think I fell in love with you a long time ago, too. And-“

Eddie cupped his face and stepped in closer, staring into his eyes. “Say it again?”

Giving him the tiniest smile, he repeated, “I’m in love with you, Eddie. I’m so sorry I said those things that day.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Instead of answering, Steve closed the small distance between them. Eddie kept him there with a handful of soaking wet tshirt.

This kiss was nothing like their kisses before. Eddie could pour all of his love and affection into it now, not having to hold anything back. Even from himself.

“Wow,” Steve breathed, lips still moving against his.

Eddie pressed a few more kisses against his lip before pulling back.

“Do you wanna hear a secret?” Eddie asked, suddenly serious.

Steve nodded, confused.

“I didn’t move on. I picked that guy up at the bar last night because he reminded me of you.”

A wide grin spread across Steve’s face. “Oh really?”

Let me be the one you call

If you jump, I’ll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

Ali @eddiethehunted made me have a Savage Garden nostalgic moment (months ago, sorry) and ofc I had steddie feels 🖤

[roses-r-rosie3]

miguel x Alchemax reader

reader used miguel and ended up giving him drugs to destabilize him because they were loyal to Alchemax. in the society after a long time dating they finally admit they used him

it goes into miguel’s pov focus on lyrics

Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you're doing now

How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

Just what you wanted

Look at you, cool guy, you got it

I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes

Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise

I loved you truly

You gotta laugh at the stupidity

[Chorus]

'Cause I've made some real big mistakes

But you make the worst one look fine

I should've known it was strange

You only come out at night

I used to think I was smart

But you made me look so naive

The way you sold me for parts

sorry if i it’s to much

Vampire

Miguel O’Hara x M!Reader

Warnings: Angst, swearing, drugging, divorce

Quote: “NO! It never would have benefited both of us! It would have only benefited YOU! Not US! YOU!”

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You and Miguel were dating back when he was still working for Alchemex. You two would always flirt with each other while you were there, and all the flirting eventually lead up to the two of you dating. But the whole thing with a subject dying and stone drugging him, Miguel quit Alchemex.

You however, you were about to quit too after you heard about what happened. But stone was aware of this and he had a plan that could benefit him. He knew about your relationship with Miguel so he called you to his office and offered you a raise if you continued to drug Miguel. You were reluctant at first, but the more you thought about it, the more you started to think about the benefits, and you accepted it. So You lied and told Miguel that you quit Alchemex.

The first time you had to drug Miguel was while he was asleep, after doing it, you immediately felt bad, but you decided to make it up to him by taking him to the mall and buying him whatever he wanted.

“Y/n where did you get all this money from? Didn’t you just quit?” Miguel jokingly asked.

“I found a job that had a high salary, now are you gonna be nosy or are you gonna continue shopping” you fake laughed.

Miguel was a bit suspicious but quickly forgot about it after the two of you were done shopping. The time came and you had to drug Miguel again, and you once again did it while he was asleep. And little did you know 2 times turned into 3 and three turned into a 10 whole years.

You and Miguel’s relationship still remained untouched though, you two still had the same love for each other as when you first met. Miguel even proposed to you, to which you happily accepted, and the two of you got married. However, Miguel was getting noticeably more weak, and you were getting more and more guilty about doing this to him.

You finally had enough. You couldn’t just keep hurting Miguel and act like nothing is wrong. You knew Miguel probably wouldn’t want to be with you, but he deserved to know the truth.

“Hey Miguel can we talk?” You asked.

“Of course baby” Miguel said as he scooted over for you to lay next to him in your shared bed.

You sat on the edge of the bed with your back facing towards him.

“Okay what’s wrong? Is something bothering you?” Miguel asked in concern.

You just broke down in tears, letting out all the guilt that has been building up for the past 10 years.

“Hey, hey, baby just tell me what’s wrong” Miguel said as he hugged you.

“No Miguel, I don’t deserve you” you sobbed.

“Of course you do-”

“No Miguel, I don’t! I’m still working for Alchemex! Stone offered me a raise if I drugged you! And I’ve been doing it for the past 10 years while you were asleep! I can’t do it anymore!” You cried.

“You- you what?” Miguel said, his voice got darker.

“I’m so sorry Miguel, it would have benefited both of us” you tried to plead.

Miguel backed away from you and got off of the bed.

“NO! It never would have benefited both of us! It would have only benefited YOU! Not US! YOU!” Miguel yelled.

“Miguel please-”

“So what?!? You think a simple little apology is going to fix the 10 years of damage you’ve done to me!” Miguel screamed at you.

“I never meant for any of this to happen Miguel, I’m sorry” you croaked.

“So you didn’t mean to take the money?! You didn’t mean drug me?! You didn’t mean to use me?! You used me as a pawn in your little game! You’re pathetic y/n!” Miguel roared.

“I really did love you Miguel, I really wanted to build a family with you” you said weakly.

“Well guess what y/n?! You ruined that family! You ruined our relationship! So what if we did end up adopting a kid?! Would you have still drug me while both me and our kid were asleep?!” Miguel yelled.

“I really thought I could trust you y/n! I really thought you and me would be forever!” Miguel yelled.

“I’m sorry Miguel” you said.

“Stop saying sorry y/n! You weren’t ever sorry for the past 10 years!” Miguel screamed.

It went radio silent for a good 3 minutes after Miguel said that.

“I’m leaving” Miguel said before storming out of your shared house.

You were left there with the consequences of your own actions. You cried yourself to sleep that day. When you woke up, you reached over to Miguel's side of the bed, hoping to feel Miguel's warm body next to you, but instead, you got the feeling of cold sheets.

Before you knew it one day of Miguel being gone turned into one week. At that point, you were feeling hopeless. Until you heard your door bell ring. You rushed to the door to see who it was. When you opened the door, you saw Miguel, but he was holding a paper in his hands.

Miguel shoved the paper into your hands and you looked at it. When you looked at it, and you read through it. It felt like you were hit by a train when you finally realized it was divorce papers, and Miguel already signed his name. You looked up at Miguel with tears starting build up in your eyes once again.

"You really want this?" You trembled.

"Yes y/n, we're over" Miguel said calmly.

It hurt you that Miguel was so calm about it, after all the memories you two built together. But it was only fair because of what you did to him, so you signed the papers and handed it back to Miguel.

"Goodbye Miguel" you sighed as Miguel walked away from your once beloved house of memories.

[baeklination]

Rural

Date: 231110

Warnings: SMUT 🔞, general fucking, fingering

Pairing: Baekhyun x F. Reader

WC: 4k

NOTE: Story 3 of Theme BAMBI. This is a soft one.

Masterlist

¤¤

Some days blue, some days grey, the mountains roll in the distance. Even when you get as far as farm country they lie farther still. Silent and never changing - a mystery that lends solace. 

Between them and here lies all you’ve seen in the world, but from the home where you grew up surrounded by golden fields and wind rushing through corn stalks to where you now live, on a very quiet edge of a very small town, it doesn’t seem so bad. In fact, with a little more than a modest salary you could save some each month and visit one of those big cities the ladies at the cafe are always talking about with so much shock and fascination…but it’ll keep.

If anything, what you would consider these days is a tour based on temperature; anywhere where it’s not scorching before the clock has struck eleven.

Scorching.

Scorching… 

“Rats..!”

Sticking the pin in the paper haphazardly you run down from upstairs to the kitchen, knowing you’ll be met by smoke billowing out from the oven - but you’re not. Saying a prayer of please, please, please, you grab a mitten, open the oven and pull out the cobbler. 

“Thank god..!”, you sigh, relieved to see you haven’t ruined the afternoon goodies you’ve promised Ms. Ethel to bring round before work.

Peering into the oven you see the culprit, a classic: edibles from a previous use turning into charcoal. 

“All in a day’s work”, you mumble to yourself, scraping the burnt piece away.

°

“Oh, you hadn’t forgotten about me”, Ms. Ethel chirps as soon as she opens the door.

“It’s not that late, is it?”

“Not for an old hen like me, but you ought to be on your way already. Or are you taking the day off?”

“The week’s just started, Ms. Ethel, I don’t need to rest just yet”, you smile at her on your way to the kitchen. “I’ll be on time. Either way, Ida has a key as well and I don’t suspect they’ll be breaking down the door on a Tuesday. Now, what do you think? Presentable?"

“I think the ladies will be fighting over it. I’m fighting myself right now”, she laughs, smacking her lips.

“Go on, have a bite. It’s best fresh outta the oven.”

“And serve a cobbler with a gaping hole in it? Oh, the jokes would never end, sweet girl.”

“Come now, Ms. Ethel. You don’t serve it whole. Cut it into pieces before they come and they’ll never know the difference.” 

“M-hm… Well, the cook knows best… I still have some coffee in the pot, it’ll go fine with a bit of sweet.”

“Go sit down, I’ll bring it.”

Having survived her husband of fifty-three years, Ms. Ethel is going on her seventh year alone. She says she isn’t lonely, and you reckon she mostly isn’t because she keeps herself busy with a visit here, a trip there all throughout her weeks, but nonetheless spending every morning with someone for fifty years is a habit you don’t wean off easily and that’s why you try to stop at hers a few days a week, to make sure. Suppose it is also for your own benefit. With your folks out on the countryside she’s become like a relative of sorts and being around her, doing little chores to alleviate her burden, is comforting.

Sometimes - like right now - seeing her sitting by the window, half smiling with curlers in her hair, she’s so cute it breaks your heart. You don’t know why exactly. It just does. But coffee and cake won’t wait for no one, so you snap out of it and join her in the living room.

“Here you go. Give me your most- second most honest opinion.”

“You never disappoint. If these hands of mine were still working proper I’d tell the ladies I was the baker.”

Lifting her spoon in cheers, she winks before eating it, and since it’s rude to wait for an evaluation you look out the window. Her view is almost the exact same as from your own, barring the houses farther down the street being visible here. You could tell the day was heating up fast on your way over, and the cat resting under the neighbour's tree tells the same story. A car breaks first the silence then your view; your heart skips. Shielded by the angle and speed, the frame is gone in the blink of an eye, but that's all you need - the tan arm, checkered shirt rolled up, holding the steering wheel of that red truck, is his.

“Mm!”, Ms. Ethel exclaims, bringing you back. “Sweet and deep just like I like it!”

¤ 

You’re a capable woman. A business owner - albeit small - making and mending clothes, paying rent on time, handling salary and meetings with your accountant by yourself. Even got your own house and home. But one hint of him and you turn silly. Knowing Baekhyun’s in town rattles your brain and instead of solely focusing on the job at hand you’re preoccupied with thoughts of how to see him. Should you head over to Joe’s pretending to need some electrical advice and hope Baekhyun’s stopped in to buy some new tools? Or the grocery store? The diner? You don’t want to be too obvious and get the folks talking - so maybe it’s best to stay put? Look as if you’re only minding your own and hope he’ll stop by and say hello. But what if he doesn’t? If you occupy yourself with something in the front part of the store, say fixing the mannequins or do a bit of sweeping you might see him across the road. Of course, one waves in such a situation - and of course, he’d be encouraged to come over…

This ridiculous merry-go-round occurs every time he's in town. Only a few times have you missed each other, be it because you were tending to a customer while he was loading up his truck or you stepping out just before he came in looking to buy a set of assorted buttons you know he didn't need.

Oh, but why is he such a fool? There have been times you know he’s on the verge of taking a step towards confessing, but being interrupted or simply not quite finding the courage he’d held his tongue. He’d smile and chuckle, squeeze the fedora in his hands before saying goodbye with a hint of sadness.

And while neither of you said anything it could be weeks before you saw each other again and sometimes you'd imagine that next time he wouldn't be alone. How uncomfortably the pit in your stomach sits when you think he might’ve been set up with a “nice girl” from there and you’ll find out about it on a regular day like this. Like the day the little bell over the door chimed, announcing his entry - accompanied by a woman you didn't recognise. He must have seen it then. How your stomach churned, making you too sick to even greet her with a smile. You knew it was all over, too late, on account of your own cowardice. And he must have seen how vigour was breathed back in your body when he explained how the woman had merely asked for directions; a visitor driving through town finding herself in need of a seamstress due to an unfortunate rip of her trouser leg.

Sometimes you acknowledge that driving the matter forward can't fall solely on him. After all, everything you've gained since you were seventeen has been by your own efforts and decisions. You've lived precisely as you've wanted to - with courage. So why is this so difficult..? If it were to end up a fiasco you'd barely see him anyway, right? 

Right!

But if it did end up a fiasco you'd still be wretchedly in love with him. Not giving him a chance to say yes also means he can't say no.

°

You saw him way across the street but of course put on a smaller act of coming out to give your little café set in front a wipe with a cloth - just in case.

"Hiya, Byun..! How's that crop 'o yours surviving..!", Humphrey, owner of a small shop for tinkers to the far left of you, jovially shouts.

"They're hanging in there, Mr. Thomas..!", Baekhyun calls back to him. When his head is turned a thin veil of sweat on the back of his neck glistens in the sun, carrying down the way under his shirt collar. Sympathizing with his situation of doing manual labour in this heat, you think how uncomfortably warm it must be under both flannel and undershirt. Before you're aware, the thought that he must have that film of sweat over his shoulders and chest comes into your mind. If his skin was touching yours…

"I'm sure your fabrics are doing fine as ever in spite of the sun?"

"Oh… yes. I guess I picked a good product", you smile, certain a flush is branding your cheeks, that he knows what you were thinking just now. 

"You have a long drive home, let me get you something to drink. Sit."

Going to the back of the store to fetch a bottle you take a quick look in the mirror and can determine your facial colour hasn't undergone any dramatic change. Thank you.

On your way back you stop for a second, mesmerized by the way Baekhyun wafts his hat in hope of some alleviation. The awning has gotten him away from direct sunlight but the heat is so pressing it's only a marginal change. He looks up from his seat when he hears the click and fizzle, and humbly accepts the bottle of Nehi soda. Gulping half of it down in one go he exhales loudly, the way all of us do after drinking carbonated drinks and tips the bottle in your direction.

“You're a lifesaver.”

“It's just a soda on a hot summer's day… So, are they? Your crop hanging in there alright?”

When it comes to Baekhyun, you're terrible at smalltalk, but luckily he doesn't seem to notice or leastways not mind. 

“I’m not in any peril just yet. I upgraded my irrigation system last season. Cost me a penny, but it's been worth it. You know how-” Stopping, he chuckles and knits his brows. “I'm sure this isn't the least interesting for you.”

“No… But it's all French to me…”

“Well, then, how's your folks doing? I think it's been a while since I saw their car passing out there. They move?”

“They're still out there. But my father took a tumble, so they've been staying in. On account of his leg.”

“Oh, that doesn't sound too good. Has he been to the doctor's?”

“Mm. It's broken. I'm going over on Friday to stay the weekend, do some work around there. If the buses start going again, that is…”

“I can give you a lift.”

And just like that, an opportunity like no other opened up.

“I’m sure you’re busy, I wouldn’t like to put you–”

“I always have time for you.”

°

To say your mind has been preoccupied elsewhere this Friday is an understatement. At times it seemed like time wasn't moving quickly enough. Other times it was moving too fast, no doubt a result of nerves. It was a tiny, white lie you told Ida about having tons to do before you depart and therefore would be locking up early, but she didn't mind either way - an extra few hours of weekend is nothing to complain about. 

The tons you had to do was to give in to vanity; change into a fresh dress, dab some powder on your face. The lipstick stayed in the drawer - you don't want to be too obvious. And not fully admitting it even to yourself, if Baekhyun sees you put some effort into it he might not wish to smud- anyway, your folks would wonder about the pageantry. 

You can’t help wondering if he really was planning on coming up here or if he made it up. Of course he didn’t make it up; driving all that way just for you? Maybe he would. He said he always has time for you. 

“I always have time for you…" 

Such butterflies go through your body when you think back on how he said it, so matter-of-factly, and you promise yourself that, if he doesn’t take the first step today, as the sun is your witness, you will.

You were ready forty minutes ahead of time and after sitting on the hallway chair for ten minutes you got so restless that you decided to step over to Ms. Ethel's. It was actually a good thing since she'd just done the laundry and hanging it to dry gave you something to do as well as it unburdened her.

You've learned to recognise the sound of his engine after all this time so he doesn't have to come into view for you to know.

"That will be your lift then?", Ms. Ethel asks when she sees your reaction.

"Seems it is. You're alright, nothing else you need? Trash to take out?"

"Go on, I'll make due. Say why isn't Mr. Byun married yet? A fine gentleman like him ought to have a wife, don't you think?" She's not blind. Her eyes twinkle when she opens the door and continues "Mm. And a fine woman like you should have a husband…"

You want to confirm what she already knows, share your secret, but now is not the time so you simply swat your hand smile.

"I'll see you Monday, Ms. Ethel.”

°

If smalltalk is one of your weaker points, then smalltalk around a subject is weaker still. All throughout the hour-long drive you spoke about this and that. Mostly memories from when you were growing up, the difficulties of Baekhyun having a different background than most, why you left, why he stayed and so on, but in the back of your head you tried to find an “in”, as they say. Some way to get talking about the two of you, but whichever line you had seemed contrived,  and plainly put: you were too scared. But when he offered to lend your parents a book about irrigation and new gadgets, you jumped at the chance, deciding that following him in under the guise of wanting to have a look at the old place, would create the perfect moment to tell him. Away from the road and him having to concentrate on driving was best anyway.

You take a few steps before realizing it's raining. Calling it rain is almost an overstatement. It's what you refer to as god's flower mister; rain so fine it feels like someone is using a giant sprayer from up above.

Baekhyun leaves the door open so you walk in, curious to see if it's stayed the same. It mostly has. Maybe a new kitchen table or sofa, you don't remember that well. It's only a minute until he's back with the book and it's too soon. You can't even find anything unnecessary to say, some remark about the place. 

“Do you want to have a look around?” He's awkward and fidgety. He's thinking the same thing as you are. “It's all the same, but…”

You're on the verge of doing it. Right there, with a lump in your throat. He must know what you're thinking. 

“Oh, okay. Well, then I think I know it already.”

You turn around and grab the doorknob, your lungs tight and pulling. Say it. Say it, say it, tell him! You know you can't do it. A coward.

It's over…

"Wait."

Baekhyun's hand goes to the door. Tentativeness like never before is painted on his face. You dare not move and ruin the delicate momentum. Sliding from the door to the knob, he takes your hand, holding it with the utmost tenderness…then bends forward and presses his mouth onto yours. A whirr goes round your head. His lips are so soft. Moving back he considers your expression then leans forward again, sighing out his relief just before your lips touch. Parting yours, you let your tongue slide onto, under his, feeling his hands gently close around your waist. This elation might not be emotional - if you were to look down you might see your feet hovering an inch off the floor, so wholly does the weight off your shoulders and happiness in your heart feel. 

During a moment's breath, Baekhyun glances at the stairs - a Freudian slip of the eye or a question? Either way you do the same then allow him to take your hand and lead you upstairs. 

It's just a short walk but nervousness, giddiness, impatience all fit in there.

The room doesn't look like you remember it from growing up, when it belonged to his folks, but neither does it seem like he's taken an earnest interest in the decor, not minding a frill on the curtains or flower pattern on the bedlinen. 

It's really happening. 

Amidst the softness of his lips you can't help noticing the fumbling of his hands against your neckline.

"I'm a klutz", he laughs shyly, leaving the dress buttons to you.

All of a sudden you become vulnerable. While getting undressed in the course of kissing follows a natural flow, taking your own clothes off with eyes wide open leaves you exposed and becomes somewhat of a revealing of your body. But you gather Baekhyun feels the same way, slightly turning as he does, to put his own garments on a chair. When the undershirt pulls up along his back you can't help pausing; his lean muscles are a testament to years of physical labour and carry on over his shoulders, arms and his torso. In front of you he's turned from the sweet man to infinitely alluring.

Oh…

You're glad that he's the one to remove your bra. After he's pushed the straps from your shoulders you let it fall to the rug beneath and his fingers whisper over your back; biding his time, perhaps waiting for courage. 

Then, you feel the touch of his palm as he puts it to your breast, as lightly as if you were made of glass, but daring to put some pressure on it once your lips meet again. Taking a few steps forward he carefully steers you to the bed where he pulls the covers aside for you to get in.

The hairs on his legs against yours with none, the press of his stomach on yours. Him. Stroking hair from your brow, he studies your face with warmth then smiles.

"I guess you've known for some time that I love you."

You take a deep breath, trembling because finally, it's been said. You nod, pull his head closer.

Under your fingers you feel the muscles on his back contract and relax with his small movements. By his fingers the hem of your underwear slips down to be taken off completely when you raise your hips. When he latches his thumbs under his own you're shy to look, as if being attracted to that part of him is shameful, but you are. He's hard, swaying, when he lies back down. Further opening your legs, he guides himself to your entrance amidst showering you with his lush lips; a hint of salt and imagined earth. 

On your slick coating he slides the head in with ease, distributing buzzes and whirls as moves.

"Uh……." His soft sigh over your face is a treasure. Pushing further in each time until completely lodged he whispers "Tell me if I'm going too fast."

His elbows frame you in and props him up, leaving only his stomach against yours as he softly claps with his groin.

Allowing you to sneak through with your arms you put your hands on the small of his back, feeling the billowing from below.

Pushing your leg up, he thrusts faster, resting his head on your shoulder so that his hair tickles your cheek. The gentle hums and moans are replaced by heavy exhales and short groans while he's coming closer to climaxing. Your insides swirl and twinkle. The evening hour doesn't matter - in this heat, sweat accumulates between your rocking bodies and mixes with the damp smell of a weathered house.

Panting hard, the quiver in his voice giving it all away, the clapping eventually turns irregular and unbridled, ending with his orgasm. 

His heartbeat is on fire - yours is too - and the heat feels strong enough to burn your chest, but even with the desperation for oxygen, his weight on top of you is a rapture unmatched.

Looking at his hands intertwined with yours you're struck by how well he's managed to keep them decently gentlemanlike in spite of his work. He's been perfectly still for some time now. Since he managed the mammoth task of moving his body to lay behind you. Just as you start listening for sounds of snoozing his nose feathers across your back, then he kisses the same place and unclasps his hands. Propping himself on the elbow, he puts his head against your arm and moves his hand over your stomach. 

"Do you think you'd like it if I…"

You feel silly not understanding what he means, especially if he's embarrassed to say the words, but you can't do anything other than wait for him. He huffs, bites his bottom lip and rolls you onto your back.

"If I…touched you…" Seeing the perplexion in your face he quickly wants to reassure you "We don't have to, it's okay. If you don't like-"

"No, it's not…" Truth is, in your limited experience with men, none of them ever did or asked to do something like it, so you don't know what it would be like if someone else did it. But you feel like you want him to. "I, um…"

The words wedge in your throat, but he understands you perfectly by the touch on his arm. Placing a dollop of saliva on two fingers, he lets them disappear under the sheet.

"Ah-h…"

You can't help catching your breath when you feel his fingertips run softly over your clit. Slowly lowering his face, he envelops your lips with his, pushing them in sync with his delicate movements. Up and down he caresses, then gathers some more liquid from below and rubs his fingers quickly from side to side.

Turning into the pillow, Baekhyun's face hovers over your side with anticipation so strong it's felt in his breath against your cheek. The whirr intensifies, coming up to the surface, your backside and thighs go tense, you press your hand on mattress, open your mouth…and just then the dam bursts, spilling over electric magic between your legs, inside you, while you shake and try to smother your whines. 

Baekhyun groans mutedly and repeatedly places kisses on the side of your face as he draws big circles with the new fluids.

You find him sitting on the patio, watching the sun between clouds in pinks and lilacs. There's not a sound except the grasshoppers so you almost don't want to go out for fear of disturbing this picture. The patio flooring is damp under your feet and only a tiny squeak here and there is heard, save from the swish of the blanket you've wrapped yourself in. Looking your way, he takes a deep breath and opens his arms for you.

“Hi there.”

“Can I ask you…”, you say, playing with his hair. “Why did you look so sad right before you kissed me? Surely you already knew?”

“But I didn't know. I thought. Suspected. So I thought, if I'm wrong and you turn me away, this might be the last time I see you.”

“But you're happy now. Right?”

“Mm. All I want is you and me.”

Looking at the sun you can tell what time it is, so you sigh.

“I think we have to get going…”

Finding his way under the blanket, his hands gently caress your waist, breast. Cupping your face, he presses his lips onto yours. 

“Once more before I take you..?”

●

[funficwriter]

Reward (Tartaglia/Childe x Recruit! Reader)(NSFW)

A/N: This is my first smut fic! TBH I was a little shy about it, but I'm glad I wrote it. It was quite fun, and I will expand upon other characters soon. Also, reader has AFAB parts. Until then, enjoy getting spoiled by your Lord Tartaglia! ;)

Warnings: Oral, AFAB reader receiving, kinda shy and sensitive reader😈

The Harbinger legions. The most vied-for position, second only to the Harbingers themselves. You recall excitedly chatting along with your (at the time) fellow cadets over which one you'd like to be in, fantasizing about all the benefits that come with it.

"Can you imagine being in Lord Pantalone's team? The amount of cash I'd make would be enough to retire early!".

"I must train hard for Lord Capitano to notice me before graduation!".

Among the reasons this position is so desired is the unique rewards that come with its work. A huge salary and added prestige were the least of them. Exclusive parties, excursions throughout Teyvat, even the chance of becoming the next Harbinger. Of course, bonus points if you keep up the work ethic that got you into the legion in the first place.

Though now, you couldn't help but wonder whether all Harbingers summoned their recruits into their personal headquarters to reward upstanding deeds. Also whether any of them used the method Lord Tartaglia was using.

You were guessing not, as he coyly whispered: "Now, Y/N, I asked of you to keep quiet so I can keep going~".

"Yes, b-but!!".

Another wet shock stopped you. You weren't expecting the reward to have you so open and exposed to him, nor he between your legs, almost refusing to get out if it wasn't to tease you. His grip on your hips kept you in place as his tongue relentlessly licked up and down your sensitive slit.

To say your cheeks were on fire would be an understatement.

He chuckled at your expression, before moving to nip at your inner thigh. Your reflex almost made you squirm away.

"Ah, you've always been so cute, ever since the day I got you.".

You could never tell if the next was going to be a nip or a kiss. Either way, it didn't matter much; It still sent you into the haywire state he was enjoying so much. If you didn't know any better, you'd feel as if you weren't the only one being 'rewarded' here. So much for protecting your teammates from that Cryovishap.

"You should have seen your comrades when you all returned.".

Was he about to say something? You were hanging on to his words, until he licked at your clit while gripping your hips. Your Lord has never been one to relent on praise or scolding; He almost had the nub between his lips, going between sucking and licking. Any attempt to squirm away or relieve yourself of his sensory overload turned null. He wasn't going to let you off so easily, so all you could do was moan below a certain volume.

"Wha...? What d-did they s... Oh fuck!".

You couldn't handle it for much longer. It's not that it didn't feel nice. On the contrary, the pleasure was growing too strong and quick for you. Being with Lord Tartaglia taught you the importance of adapting fast, but this... This could defeat your already sensitive self. Yet despite the overload, something in you cried out for more from your handsome leader. He wasn't kidding he said he'd take good care of you upon joining.

"What did they say? Hehe, still persevering I see. That's why I picked you for the squad.".

You tried to look down without being too bashful. You were so wet, you could mess up his bedsheets. He didn't think much of it, instead lapping it up every now and then.

"They were all so scared when that Cryovishap attacked you It could have killed you all, but you... Our overachiever, you distracted it and took it on by yourself. All to protect them, right?".

He lowered his head again. Your pleasure had dissipated for a minute, then came back with a stronger vengeance.

"Aaaah~ yes, my Lord! I did it to protect them!".

Whatever little edging he wanted to keep going was over. He loved the idea of you being a protector, the way it motivated him to keep your pleasure going.

"Waaait! Wait, I-"

Between the sucking and kissing on your clit, his grib on your thighs and the switch to his strong licks, you just couldn't. Your endurance was trained for many things, but not this. You couldn't help clenching and shaking. Tingly bliss spread out into the nerves of your core, then your thighs.

You weren't sure whether to recoil away or dive into it, but in the end, you wanted more of this feeling. You opened your legs more and pushed your pussy into his face.

"Mmmmfh... Yes, good little recruit...".

It came out muffled, but the praise left you glowing. If only time could stop here... Your Lord praising you in all the ways he could was the little heaven you wanted to have eternally. With the way he dug his mouth further in, you wanted to feel like he thought so too.

Way sooner than you wanted, your orgasm faded, but you knew you were okay. Your deeds were much more worth than one. He knew it too after a minute of rest.

"You ready? Come back here. Good recruits deserve greater rewards, after all~".

The grip on your hip was even stronger than before. You weren't leaving for a while.

[tarotmundomonde]

Your current karma in love reading

pick a number 1-5 OR pick a colour: 1-yellow 2-blue 3-orange 4-red 5-purple Hope you enjoy! (ps. this reading is for practice, fun and entertainment as always)

PS. This Tarot event is still on-going, you can check it out here

1.Welcome to pile number 1. As for your current karma in romance, a big theme is pride. Your pride and their pride. There seems to be a huge focus on looks and all the superficial, like education, job title and salary, brands, etc. There seems to be a strong lack of flexibility, both you and them insisting on having their way and getting what they want to have looks and status wise. You seem to be dealing with lots of distractions and temptations and manipulation and competition. And that takes us to the next big theme, which is intentionality and intentions, yours and theirs. Looking at the cards you are clearly drawn to and attracting men, who are seeking benefits, using you, maybe simply through friends with benefits. You could even still be attached to an ex for superficial reasons. It looks like you are experiencing a lot of ghosting as well, people just walking away. So you are called to re-look at your intentions. There is a very heavy need for you to detoxify your love life. The big question is what needs to be released, what is the needed transformation. You are called to do some self-reflection. Maybe you could ask yourself why you stay in situations, where it's obvious the connection will never lead to more. Or could it be you actually just want the superficial? Have courage and have the courage to be honest with yourself. What "success" means to you in love? Is it just to get attention or to have experience or truly find beautiful love? So in addition to detoxification, what's also a big part of your current karma in romance is patience and self-acceptance and compassion. To know your worth. Also, one more thing coming through for you is that you could currently be more into reading a lot about love and relationships or watching some clips or movies or dramas or reading love books. Since a big part of your current karma in love is to detoxify, maybe that's one of the areas as well, where you should practice using more your intuition. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

2.Welcome to pile number 2. What comes to your current karma in romance, the biggest theme seems to be about you being stuck in a loop. Like a situation, a pattern is on repeat, again and again. For things to change, patience will be needed but it's not enough, you also need to understand the purpose of that situation, what is the lesson there for you and a change of perception. So it seems you are at the bridge phase right now. And this whole process seems to be divided into two different main themes. One is other people, how the community is influencing your love life. Not just from your side, but also from their side. Especially females as a third-party. This could be your female friends or theirs or exes and so on, but generally speaking it looks like there's been third-party situations. So you are asked to learn to pay attention to signs and a part of it is about the social life. It's about learning to identify people, to see the energy they carry and what is their role. And look at your role, what is the energy you carry, what are you co-creating. You seem to seek justice and yet, you are stuck in power struggles. And that's what takes us to the second main theme, which is all about you. Your current karma in romance now is emotional healing and leaving the past behind. As of now, you seem to suffer of despondency, but you need to work on your self-esteem and self-confidence, to be in a place of feeling poised. The world is filled with possibilities, but first you need to heal, you need to step into your power. In the end, justice is not really something you can seek in romance, it's more a matter of perception. To understand the one for you will always choose you. So you need to start to see yourself from a different light, you have your own crown and nobody has the same one as you. As you work on your healing, you'll really see it pay off. You'll feel much more stable and stronger. And poised. So start to focus on what you want to create and co-create. Again, much abundance and blessings on the sight, it's a matter of perception. There is a new start coming, are you ready for something better? And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

3.Welcome to pile number 3. What comes to your current karma in romance, you seem to be dealing with heavier and more intense energy at this time. Let's break it down a little bit. A part of your current karma in romance is related to commitments. The type of commitment, the meaning, how you perceive it and what it means to you, how they perceive it and what it means to them, are you capable of being committed to someone and a relationship, etc. So questions related to commitment. Then we have the theme of manifestation and magic in this pile. It seems you could be into doing some manifestation rituals regarding love matters. And with that comes communication, to watch your words. The choice of words and tone, also when communicating with people and the words they choose, when communicating with you, as words can reveal a lot of things, if you just pay attention to them. Then you have the theme of feeling all tied up, whether it's you or them or both. This could be commitment issues or maybe even other things in life, because you did get the theme of financial health, as something influencing your love life at this time. So maybe you or the people you deal with in romance are more committed to work and finances than to relationships. Maybe you or they prioritize money matters. Or maybe you could feel like your love life is dependent on money somehow. Maybe you or them or both are more materialistic in nature, like liking to show off your career and financial success by buying stuff, by buying and wearing expensive items. You do have a theme of gift giving in this pile. Anyhow, you are learning lessons about restrictions and feeling tied up, etc and also, to learn letting go. For example letting go of bad habits, letting go of control issues. To learn to just rest and chill. To relax and to take it easy, to not stress about love matters. You are also called to do a whole lot of reflecting and self-reflection. To reconcile with the true you, to recover and to know and use your true power in love. It is hard work but it will greatly pay off as well! It's a time of deep healing and transformation. And that leads to great blossoming in your love life. It's about the little things, your own beauty and the beauty of love and things to be grateful for. The gifts of love, you are learning lessons about the gifts of love. A whole lot of magic and dreaming and magical moments in love. Romance. You are currently going through many phases. That's what your current karma in romance looks like for you at this time. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

4.Welcome to pile number 4. What comes to your current karma in romance, there is so much going on with this pile. For some you could be dealing with online dating, but otherwise there is a theme of masks. Like what are someone's true colours and true nature, true intentions and true feelings and yours, too. Are you pretending or are you being true and them the same. How comfortable do you feel in your connection. Then there is communication. Pay attention to the little details. But one of your biggest main theme is new beginnings in love. Even pregnancy is a possibility. If you are completely single, you do seem to be dealing with new beginnings, like meeting new people or maybe you'll start dating someone, everything is possible with this pile. It could also be a level-up in a commitment, for example from seeing each other to officially dating. And so naturally, whatever is going on, a big part of it will be lessons of making adjustments. Like when you are dating, how do you bring other elements of life together, like home and career. Because at this time there is a focus on adjustments and your career and home as a part of your love life. For example, maybe you are thinking about moving in together with your partner, maybe it's relocation. And if there is a relocation, that could affect yours or their career. So there is definitely a huge lesson about surrendering for you. Like you can't be in control of everything and not everything will go your way. For example continueing from the same previous example, you can't claim your career to be more important than your partner's. You have to both understand that you both have the same equal right to live somewhere you like and to have a workplace you like. And so naturally a theme going on for you is about worth. That you both know your worth and understand you are both equally important and worthy. If you are single, it's still the same. You are learning lessons about worthiness and knowing your worth and what it is you want from your love life, what do you want to create. What for you is happiness in a romantic connection. But at the same time you are taught about surrendering, there is only so much you can do and everything depends on so many things. So a lot of wisdom to gain. So indeed, themes of intentions and quests and ambitions, what you are aiming at and what they are aiming at, what is your focus, what are theirs. A lot about abundance and options, about happiness. Some of you will simply experience lots of sweet moments in love. And then feelings, what is inner strength and sensitivity. Also, what makes a connection stronger. And then another theme for you currently in love is sexual wisdom. And also, one big theme as your current karma in romance is observing. To know, how to stop doing and just being still and staying calm, while just observing. And this theme is related to surrendering. Like said before, you cannot control evertyhing in your love life, not all is up to you. And there is a sense that there could be people watching, spying on you, because they want to know what's up with your love life. And so in that case there is a lesson to not take part in that drama. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

5.Welcome to pile number 5. Your current karma in romance seems to be all about the spiritual at this time. The focus is on you and on you going through transformation. This pile actually has one a bit more unique message to deliver. So let's go with that first. It's about what people choose to create in their love lives. The universe wants you to be you, because though you don't know it, now that you are gone from their lives, they seem to realize what they've lost. There is something about you being gone and people then realizing what they missed out on. The cards are talking about, how when you've been present, they've let gossip and other people's opinion influence them and that they've had an intellectual approach to love, they were into strategy, whereas you've been about love. And for whatever reason, some kind of timing thing, many years later they realize they wish they had known you better, because they know with you they would have experienced something more magical in love. It's something having to do with you being different from others, something about prejudice and misunderstandings. But the message for you is that it went that way for a reason, believe it or not, it's also about divine protection and so just accept the outcome of those past connections and understand they didn't go anywhere, didn't work out, didn't even start, because they are not your person. To be honest, the cards are showing that YOU were never meant for them. So there is a sense that your current karma in love at this time is a lot about acceptance. To just accept, how it was and leave it in the past. Okay, so moving on, indeed currently the focus is on you and on you going through transformation. There is very strong wisdom and intuition present in your spread. There is also need for heart chakra healing, as it seems you might be currently too much influenced by gossips, other people's stories, etc. So it's like the outside noise creates some heart chakra blocks for you at this time. So work on healing your heart chakra and know that whatever is being said around you, true love is a whole different story. And there is a strong focus on intuitive wisdom coming through for you. About combining intellectual vision and understanding with intuition. When it comes to love, there are healthy types of strategies in love as well. Those, where by asking the right questions, you can tell already a lot about the person and how into you they actually are. There is also a focus on crown chakra healing and activation. Your current karma in romance really has so much to do with spirituality and also the divine feminine healing. You are going through transformation and healing, which leads to creativity and inspiration in love and in you attracting love towards you. There is definitely a new cycle, some kind of level-up going on for you at this time. There is also a message about mindset here. To know that there is always enough, for everyone there is their own right partner. So just know there is always enough. Other themes for you in love at this time are healthy boundaries and protection and divine protection. And then of alchemy. There is a focus on you stepping back into your power and in the power of natural love attraction. There is massive sun and sunny energy coming through for you. A lot of clarity, improvement, healing and joyful energy making its way into your love life. You literally got the soulmate card. It seems there is someone ready for you, once you are ready for love. This is a connection much deeper than you've ever experienced so far in love, especially when it comes to intimacy, this one will go deeper. For example depending on your situation you could be about to meet someone you'll have your first kiss with or it could be first time there is a real emotional or spiritual connection between you and them. But there is like a new deeper level to your next love connection. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Clean Up On Aisle Heartbreak

Brie's Tale as told by @earthtoharlow

Heaux Tales of Jack Harlow

Stupid

Stupid

Stupid

That's all you could think as you sat on your bed no longer being able to hold back your sobs. You could not believe that the man who made you feel on top of the world, was married with three beautiful children.

Ever since you saw those photos you’ve felt lost. You fell for a man who didn’t even exist. What made you upset the most was that you didn’t know which parts of him were real and which were not, which words were honest and which were blatant lies.

Months ago when Jack told you that he wanted to "take things slow". It should have made alarms go off in your head but It was too late, you were already wrapped up in his charm. You could not help but think about the day the two of you met, wishing you ignored that boyish grin and bright blue eyes.

——————-

You stared at the rows and rows of juice in front of you with both hands on your hips. Penny pinching was the only way you could make ends meet. Sure, working as a nurse at one of the largest hospitals in town came with great benefits, but since this was your first job after graduating nursing school you lacked work experience. Your salary barely covered standard monthly expenses.

You wanted that juice. Which happened to be half off with your coupon but of course the very last bottle was pushed all the way in the back of the fridge. You decided to say "fuck it" and yanked open the refrigerator door, you placed your croc covered foot on the bottom shelf hoping it would give you a bit of a boost. If you could just reach a little further to knock it down....

“Let me help”

The smooth voice sent a delicious shiver down your spine. You would have moved out his way but the gentleman placed a hand on the small of your back and leaned into the fridge with you. You could not have moved if your life depended on it. With barely a stretch, he grabbed the juice and placed it inside your basket with your other groceries.

You were breathless when you looked up at the man in the front of you. You let out a tiny gasp when you noticed how close he still was to you. You took a small step back so you could fully take in the beautiful man in front of you.

“Thank you.” was all you could manage to spit out as you continued to stare at him. He stepped out of the fridge and closed the door before giving you a big smile like he knew the effect he was having on you. "No problem, ma" he said in that deep voice that set a flame burning low in your stomach. You were staring, you almost wanted to touch your mouth to make sure you were not drooling.

This tall and broad man made you remember how long it had been since you had sex. With focusing on graduating nursing school and then packing everything up and moving across the country it had been almost two years. All this man had to do was touch you to awaken the beast.

You just realized again that you were still staring at this man like he was a popsicle on the 4th of July. "Well, thanks again. You tore your eyes away and grabbed your cart before turning to walk away. A man was the last thing you needed in your life right now. You were almost out the aisle before you heard him speak again. "Thank you for your service".

You turned around before giving him a questioning look. He then gestured towards your nurse scrubs. If you were a praying woman you would have dropped to your knees and thanked God that you actually wore a nice form fitting pair of scrubs today. You gave him a bright smile before thanking him."I have never had someone say that to me before, thank you.” You say as you stretch your hand out for him to shake.

“I’m Brianna, by the way, but everyone calls me Brie.” Shaking my outreached hand and without letting go he introduces himself. "I’m Jackman.” He says with a flirty smile."Everyone but my mom calls me Jack.” He joked.

"Are you new in town? I come to this grocery store every week and I have never seen you before" Jack asked curiously while still holding on to your hand. Your face warmed as you looked down at your joined hands before answering."Yeah, I’ve been here for about 2 months now, and decided to be an adult, stop ordering takeout and actually buy groceries".

He threw his head back in laughter. You could listen to that forever."Well Brie, I have been here my whole life so if you ever need a tour guide, I am your guy". If you knew what you knew now. You would have never given him your number.

—————————

You sighed in content as you ran your fingers through Jack’s curls as he slept peacefully next to you. With work and Jack being out of town this was the first time you’ve seen each other in 2 weeks.

As you were just about to fall asleep, you heard his phone vibrating. You tried to ignore it but the phone just would not stop. Reaching out to grab his phone to turn it off you noticed almost a dozen texts from the contact "Wifey" wondering when he was coming home to read the kids bedtime stories.

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you opened his messages. The phone almost dropped from your hands as you saw hundreds of texts between Jack and multiple women. You could feel tears start to well up within your eyes, and a lump start to form in your throat containing a choked sob. You put a hand over your mouth to try to muffle your cry. The more you scrolled the worse it seemed to get.

You took a quick glance at Jack to make sure he was still knocked out. Then decided to look through his photos only finding photos of his friends and work related things. You almost wanted to let out a sigh of relief before you noticed the private album. You unlocked it on the first try and your mouth dropped when you saw multiple family photos. Wedding photos included.

Jack was pictured with 3 beautiful kids who looked like a splitting image of him. He couldn’t deny them even if he wanted to.

How could someone be so cruel? How could this man sleep peacefully knowing that he’s hurting so many people?

You hated yourself even more for unknowingly contributing to the pain and suffering his wife and kids were going to experience.

You slowly climbed out of bed, careful not to wake him up. Your heart felt like it was gonna fall out of your chest. Just breathing the same air as Jack was making you feel queasy.

Just as your hand touched the doorknob, you heard Jack call out for you. You silently cursed under your breath, and quickly wiped the tears from your eyes.

You turned around just as Jack walked into the living room.

“Hey, where you heading off to? Thought you were gonna stay the night?” He questioned as he rubbed the sleep out his eyes.

You took a deep breath, trying to get your emotions together before you replied.

“Yeah, sorry! Um, work called. There’s an emergency at the hospital, so they need all hands on deck.” You needed to get out of there as quickly as possible.

You watched as Jack ran his fingers through his hair and pouted at you. 10 minutes ago you probably would’ve found this adorable, now you were just disgusted.

Jack sighed before walking towards you and pulling you into a hug, you tried not to feel stiff in his arms. These were the arms of a monster.

You closed your eyes as Jack kissed your forehead, then your nose before giving you a long kiss on the lips. You tried to savor this moment knowing that this would never happen again.

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[beardedmrbean]

Some Gen Zers have grown critical of capitalism in recent years.

Rather than dismiss the whole system, many are embracing an idea one researcher calls "safety capitalism."

Gen Zers are less likely to take certain risks, which could be one reason they want more of a social safety net. 

When someone loses their job or can't work for health reasons, how much government support should they receive? If you ask many Gen Zers that question, they'll say the current social safety net is insufficient.

Christina Elson, executive director of the Center for the Study of Capitalism at Wake Forest University, told Business Insider that many young people have embraced an idea she calls "safety capitalism."

The theory behind safety capitalism is that a successful capitalist system can and should provide sufficient protection — or safety — for those who need support following circumstances like a job loss or illness. One of the key questions facing any economic system is, "What should failure look like," Elson asked.

While many Americans receive support from a variety of social programs such as unemployment, food stamps, or disability, some of these have been scaled back since the height of the pandemic. As things stand, many Gen Zers think the US's social safety net is inadequate.

Sixty-five percent of Gen Zers think the government should provide a job to anyone who wants one, according to a Wake Forest survey of 2,000 Gen Zers and millennials conducted with YouGov in 2022. Forty-five percent said they had a positive impression of universal basic income policies. In a 2023 survey conducted by the same group, 65% percent of Gen Zers said unemployment payments should match one's salary.

Most Gen Zers still support capitalist ideas like private home ownership and entrepreneurship, Elson said. But many are frustrated with how the high costs of things like healthcare, housing, and education have taken a financial toll on Americans — and think these systems could benefit from more government intervention.

"You hear about 'billionaires should be outlawed' — that really isn't the issue," Elson previously told BI regarding Gen Zer's concerns. "The issue is the bottom. What is the appropriate bottom living standard for an American citizen, and what role should the government have in ensuring that people don't fall below that?"

Some are even turning away from capitalism altogether. In a Business Insider survey conducted last July of over 1,800 Americans, 28% of Gen Z respondents said they somewhat or strongly preferred the economic system of socialism over capitalism, the most of any generation. Twenty-nine percent of Gen Zers preferred capitalism — the rest didn't have a preference or weren't sure.

Why Gen Z wants an expanded safety net

Compared to past generations, young people today are less likely to drive, drink, have sex, and more likely to live at home, per some surveys. Elson said these examples point to a level of risk aversion that may be unique to Gen Zers.

"Gen Z are 'younger for longer,' — they go out into the world slower," she said, adding, "What is it that this generation needs in order to feel that they're able to go out there and take risks?"

Elson said many Gen Zers seek a "redesign of social safety" to enhance what some feel is an outdated system. For example, unemployment insurance and Social Security were introduced nearly 90 years ago during the Great Depression.

The financial challenges currently facing the Social Security system — due in part to the US's aging population — are arguably further evidence of a system that's in need of reform.

"All of this network has been designed for another time and place," Elson said.

Exactly what, if any, changes the US should make to its social safety net is up for debate. Some young people may look to Europe, where countries generally have a larger social safety net than the US.

In Germany, eligible unemployed individuals receive between 60% and 67% of their previous salary for up to a year. Policies like universal health insurance and guaranteed sick leave are also more common in Europe. Before temporary changes were enacted during the pandemic, most US states offered six months of unemployment benefits, with Americans collecting an average of $372 a week, per PBS.

Regardless, Elson said it's important that the US's entrepreneurial culture — which can reward risk-taking and drive economic progress — remains intact.

Most businesses fail, but as prominent investor Charlie Munger once said — and Elson referenced in a recent post — a level of failure may be necessary to have a thriving economy.

"Capitalism without failure is like religion without hell," Munger said.

[amanitaphalloides]

Please give me all your unemployment, job hunting, interviewing, etc tips!

hi unemployed community member <3

I am so sorry in advance for the length of this. I’m coming at this as someone who got laid off from a corporate job and is basically looking for the same job again, so ymmv with how relevant this is, but here’s a random array of tips I have found helpful.

MY GUIDE TO BEING UNEMPLOYED!

Getting your shit together after losing a job

Things you may need/want to do quickly if you have just lost a job (ie my week 1 unemployment to do list):

apply for unemployment benefits

review, negotiate, and sign your separation agreement

make an unemployment budget

take advantage of your final weeks of employer-sponsored insurance by having last-minute doctors appointments and getting your prescriptions refilled

look for new health insurance

contact student loan servicer to request a deferment/update your payment plan

More about this:

Unemployment benefits

If you’re eligible for unemployment benefits, apply to them right away. Different states are different, but you may need to have an in-person meeting at the unemployment office before you get any money. Scheduling this can take weeks. The world will look so much brighter if you have a little income. So if you qualify, do this first!

You will typically qualify for benefits if you got laid off or fired, but you also made qualify if your contract ended. Also you can usually freelance and still get benefits depending on how much you make.

Budgeting

Making a budget was really important to me so that I could concretely see whether I needed to panic about money and so I could give myself permission to relax. My goal was to stretch my severance and unemployment as far as possible while also doing stuff I enjoy.

Here's my budget template just in case our brains work the same way. This template is based on an old budget of mine - there are items on here that I set to $0 once I got laid off. I literally did budget in movie tickets because that has a massive impact on my joy in life.

Severance

If you are getting severance, it is possible to negotiate how much you get! I was able to get a few extra weeks basically by saying “this is bad timing and my income also supports my family."

Negotiating severance is like negotiating salary in that your former employer will probably give you less than you ask for. It's unlike negotiating salary in that you usually have zero leverage so honestly you might as well do an emotional appeal. IMO

Putting together an unemployed life

Stuff I consider absolutely non-negotiable aka things I MUST do not to spiral:

Make plans with friends. Write all your social plans down in your calendar and treat them as seriously as work.

Do something other than job hunting. Pick up a hobby. Give yourself a really specific reading or movie watching challenge. Volunteer. This will allow you to feel like you have a life which is absolutely critical to your self esteem, your ability to socialize, and your ability to function. You are going to have days when you NEED to feel cool. That will be way easier if you volunteered a few days ago than if you haven't done anything joyful for weeks.

Try to take care of your physical health. Move your body, eat full meals, go to bed at a regular time. I have really realized that sometimes the difference between me feeling good and despondent is truly just like, have I slept well and eaten and exercised recently.

Do things you like doing. I think it is very common to become unemployed and feel like you have to strip away everything in your life that's not focused on the job hunt. But you cannot stop doing everything that brings you happiness and expect to be okay. You will love your life if you fill it with things you love and you will hate it if you don't.

More tips....

Make a list of free or cheap things you can do for fun and then do them! Being unemployed is a great time to go to free days at museums if there’s anything like that near you. It’s also a good time to try a new recipe, check out a new walking path, FaceTime with a friend, write your grandma a letter, make diary comics, listen to new albums, watch movies you always meant to watch... for me though getting out of the house is especially important. I am constantly googling "free things to do in chicago this weekend" lol it pays off especially in a city!

I literally make Google calendar events for myself that are like "free museum day." I need to protect that time and treat it like an appointment to make myself actually do things.

If you have friends who wfh, go hang out with them and job hunt while they're working!

Applying for jobs

Tell everyone that you are job hunting. Post it far and wide. A lot of people get referral bonuses so they'll be trying to help you!

Job boards I use most heavily: Idealist, Otta, Built In, LinkedIn

This is so obvious but a lesson I really learned recently: only apply to places if you would take the job. If you're like "realistically I would not do that for that salary range" do not apply. you are gonna get yourself in Situations @ me two months ago

If you have a 1st or 2nd LinkedIn connection at a job you’re looking at dm them and say you'd love to hear what they think of the company!

I have also had success messaging random people on LinkedIn. Basically following this format: "Hi [name]! I came across this job at your company - I'm really interested and I'd love to hear more about what it's like working with the team. I'm sure you're busy, but is there any chance you have 15 minute this week or next to chat with me about the company before I apply? Thanks either way!"

Not everyone will want to talk but sometimes people still give you good insight into the hiring process.

It is really important to me to have boundaries around my job search. This has varied a bit depending on my schedule but the best thing I've found is telling myself I apply to jobs 9am-12pm. At noon I am DONE.

Interviewing

My interview prep: practice my elevator pitch with a focus on why it lead me to this company, pick out a few anecdotes from my past jobs I can share (a time I messed up, something I worked on that had a good result, something that didn’t go as expected, a time I had to deal with conflict), read the job's website and any news items I can find about them, and do a little quick review of the industry.

Most commonly repeated questions I've encountered recently: what's a time you made a mistake, what kind of management style do you like, why should we hire you.

This is the first time in my life I've ever genuinely practiced an elevator pitch and I hate to say it but it's really helped

After an interview (especially a panel interview) immediately take a few notes on what people said so you can write personalized thank yous.

I hope something in that was helpful and if not I'm sorry for the wall of text LOL but hugs and kisses it is all gonna be ok!!!

[tani-b-art]

I can see the Aces using Megan as a trade, unfortunately. Kiah when she was 100%, is better than Meg. Kiah is still recovering from her foot injury from last year. If they don’t use Meg as a trade, I won’t be surprised if GSV picks her up. Why? She played for GSV’s Vice President when she was in London playing 🏀.

AC is 5’11” while Kate is 6 ft tall. Becky has said she sees Kate as a strong 3-and-D player. These type of players can either be an off-ball guard or wing who are strong shooters and takes pride in their defense. AC is a Forward while Kate is a Guard, but they’ve played the 3 or 4 this year. One would think Becky would have told Bell to shadow AC this season since they both play the forward position, but no. Becky chose Kate instead - honestly her defense is better than Bell. Just watch KB game 1 vs Mercury this year, defense was atrocious.

I can also see KP leave and if she does, AND Tip doesn’t retire, she’s the next logical person to replace KP. So, the lineup could look: A’ja, Jackie, Chelsea, Tip, Kiah.

The Aces exercised KB’s 4th yr option- meaning it’s a protected rookie contract (right now her contract is unprotected). What does a protected rookie contract mean? It means, if she gets waived or injured, she will still get paid. If GSV selects her, they get the rights to her protect rookie contract and off of the Aces’ salary cap.

Syd, if she doesn’t retire, I can see the Aces give her another training camp contract.

The thing I’m waiting on is who’s going to be the GSV head coach. Natalie Nakase’s name has been floating around and I won’t be surprised if it’s her.

If these players don’t get protected: Kate, Meg, KB, Kitley, Syd, AC, Tip…who do you think GSV will pick?

I honestly don’t know how or why KB is still on the roster and survived getting cut this year when her defense has not improved and it’s her 3rd season with the Aces. I guess it helps to be Jackie’s bff but Becky has got to stop wasting roster spots based off of vibes.

If Natalie IS the GSV coach, I can definitely see KP walking. Why was the GSV owner and President at that Aces game vs Chicago before the break? Was it for Natalie? KP? Both? Besides LVA ownership, GSV owner will also not be shy to throw money into the team.

I totally forgot about Colson! Yikes—that was an honest slip. Now that you reminded me, yeah, I see her resigning as well. I made the edit on the other post. Colson stays too. (sorry Syd)

Trades: yep, can see Gustafson going, Egbo going too. But the more statistical trades in their benefit to me would be Stokes and Bell and Gustafson only if Kitley isn’t ready. That won’t happen tho. BUT if they would, Aces could use a Satou Sabally, Ariel Powers or Monique Billings in the 4 position and the 1-2, Victoria Vivians could be additions or replacements if trades take place. The 5, I have no clue.

If Kitley is able to translate how she played in college and will finally be active from the injury, then there isn’t anything to be concerned about (other than ‘25 will technically be her rookie season with no experience because she wasn’t able to play officially) because she’ll cover much needed areas in the paint. I did my homework and watched a full game and some highlights. I watched VT’s game vs Duke (random selection). She covers a lot of area in the paint on both ends. She’s constantly moving especially on defense, hungry for boards (especially offensive to create second chance possessions—an area the Aces absolutely need), a shot blocker and is a scorer (the and1s too)! She can produce that double-double factor. Wilson and Kitley together can be that dynamic big duo that we see with bigs. If she brings all of that, the Aces have that paint presence secured! Kitley has the length too. Very fluid on offense. Her fade away! The way that game went, it gave me flashes of Wilson being the team’s most reliable and consistent player. So, she should fit very well lol!

Nakase will leave the Aces as an assistant to head GSV?! Wooow. If there’s a preference for in-house, I could see Tanisha Wright or Nikki Blue becoming GSV’s head coach. If not, I could see Kellie Harper from TN (which I doubt any NCAAW coaches have ever been hired to a W team). Or the W will W and end up hiring a NBA coach or NBA assistant coach instead.

The Aces’ coaching staff all season seemed really non-vocal. It appeared their input wasn’t requested or considered at all. Because it cannot be that none of them gave their feedback to Hammon on having a better bench/rotation strategy. So that’s why I’m pretty shocked with you mentioning Nakase at all.

The only Ace I see going to GSV is Plum. Maybe Hayes. Big maybe. Doubtful on Hayes.

Martin and Clark—I did mean that Martin gives off small forward. Even though she’s taller than Clark, she still occupies small space defensively. Martin gives off more small forward than anything. But she was one of the better defensive players this season for the Aces.

“…but Becky has got to stop wasting roster spots based off of vibes.”

That’s what I’m saying!!! Hammon did this for the entire 40 games. Spent a good chunk of the season not having an effective plan on who to sign to fill in the big gaps this lineup had all season. While also keeping players who provided no meaningful efficiency to the team. The vibes worked out ‘23 but that vibes mentality won’t work ever again. All these W teams have gotten so much better with their cohesive flows and their coaches have impactful strategies with deep benches. Hammon didn’t make adjustments pre-Olympics at the time that gave her enough time to alter things. At the time that showed her what was lacking for her lineup. There were warnings and red flags long ago. She didn’t assign new roles to anyone or yet alone sign additional players to fulfill roles (I don’t include Hayes in this because she was the most successful sign they made but when they were signing folks then releasing them within 2 business days..that’s what I’m referring to). Nothing flashed on her radars. Nothing appeared to alert or alarm her. Even when she said she felt in training camp, the edge wasn’t there and she still did absolutely nothing. And she still didn’t make changes post-Olympics AND didn’t make the final changes until the playoffs on desperate mode. That was way too late then. She was well aware of the setback she had without Gray and also Stokes starting the season off since last year and still no modifications were made in preparation. Made no real proactive plans for losing Parker either. If there’s an article on Hammon’s coaching for this season, please direct me to it. Because answers are needed. It needs to be studied. The vibes landed them in 4th place and kept them in 4th to close out. Relying solely on the core 4 (and mainly 1 in Wilson) with no reinforcements and just completely sucking every bit of (wo)manpower out of them hoping they’ll have the season stamina was so bad. Over extending the core 4 and absolutely draining Wilson was disastrous. UNLESS, there were not made public restrictions for the misconduct and the front office was being punished for it. I’m still going with this as to why Hammon and the Aces didn’t sign who the really needed and also didn’t play who they really needed. Gustafson and Egbo finally getting minutes in games 3-4 makes me believe my theory.

Off brand, not of huge importance: do you think they’ll change their color scheme back to the ‘18-‘23 era w/ the gold? I’ve been screaming about the color change curse to match the Raiders was a mistake.

[spacequokka]

Page 270

Pairing: vamp!Jinki x Reader Genre: Vampire AU, Fluff Rating: PG Summary: Jinki has a surprise for his favorite human. Word Count: 0.9k Warnings: None, really. Blood drinking mentioned but not done.

A/N: Happy birthday to one of the cutest leaders I know <3

No matter how many times Jinki ran his hands over his cream slacks, he couldn't get rid of the sweaty palms sensation. Sure, his body hadn't produced sweat in centuries but that fact did little to the feeling go away.

Today was the day.

All the paperwork was done. Any registration fees were paid. He just needed to ask you. Make it official on paper.

A quick glance at his watch reminded him that you should be getting off the bus soon. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.. Everything would be alright. Even if you rejected his request, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

You knocked on the door lightly. It'd be difficult, if not impossible, for other people to hear it, but you knew he could be deep in his basement and still pick up the sound. He opened the door and smiled. "____, welcome."

You smiled sweetly and stepped inside. "The storm's starting to kick up. I brought my overnight bag, just in case." You held up the leopard print backpack. "Hope that's okay."

He nodded and closed the door. "Of course it is. I prefer it over traveling so late."

You laughed. "Somehow I knew you'd say that." You stepped close and poked his cheek, eyeing the reaction of his skin. "Hm, you're a little dryer than usual." You stepped back and peeled off your scarf and coat. "Have you been overdoing it again?"

He avoided your perceptive gaze. "It couldn't be helped. I needed to pickup documents and return them as quickly as possible."

You sighed and turned on your heel. "Then we should go ahead and get started." You beckoned him to follow with a few curls of your finger. Like a lovesick puppy, his feet obeyed. It wasn't until you pulled your shirt collar away from your throat that he even noticed you were seated, waiting for him to drink his fill.

"Oh, no." He shook his head to clear away the fog. "I wanted to talk with you first."

"Oh?" You blinked then let go of your shirt. "What about? Is it my work schedule? I can request to get off earlier, but I'm not sure my boss will allow it."

"Well, yes but not exactly." He went to his desk and plled out the contract he picked up from H&V Resources. "You made a comment last month about how it'd be easier to be a live-in donor--"

You glanced at him then at the papers in his hand before jumping to your feet. "Is that--" Fear and sorrow flowed from your pores like a thick, bitter syrup completely unlike your usual light floral scent. "Oh. I-I didn't mean to upset or offend you. It's just been a mess at work and being with--I'm mean, around you--Oh, God. Please don't fire me--"

He shushed you with a cold fingertip against your trembling lips. "I wouldn't dream of it." When he was certain you'd calmed down, he held up the papers. "It took me a while to get permission and the permits, but I'd like to ask you to be my personal live-in donor."

Your jaw dropped.

"As you said then, it'd be much easier if you lived here with me." He gestured to your surroundings. "I have plenty of space. I'm offering a six-figure salary as well as health and life insurance." He passed the papers to you.

"Mr. Lee, that's a lot of money."

"I realize that. That's why I hoped to have you take on the role as my personal assistant with my company as well. You could help me avoid 'overdoing it,' as you say. It'd benefit you as I wouldn't need to feed as often." When that thoughtful look settled on your face as you flipped through the pages, the sweaty palms came back. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Feel free to take your time to look over--"

"Where's a pen?" You searched the top of his desk and found one. Before he thought to stop you, you were going through and signing and initialing wherever highlighted.

"I-I thought you'd want to take your time to read it thoroughly." It was a lot to process given all the disastrous ways he imagined things turning out.

"It's a no-brainer. I hate my other job and we get along great. On top of that, you're essentially offering a way to turn my life around. Even one year working for you would pay off my debts." Your words were rushed and your hand shook as you blitzed through the contract. "Imagine me being able to lease a car!"

Your happiness was contagious, treating him to a richer flavor of your scent he'd never experienced. "I'd be happy to help you get a car. I could also loan you one of mine as a company car."

You paused and looked at him with a mixture of shock and glee. "I've never had a job with a company car before." Doubt flittered through your mind. "Are you sure you want me for this?" Worry filled your eyes and it melted his heart.

"____, dear. May I be brutally honest with you?" When you nodded he took one of your hands in his. "You are one of the most brilliant, endearing, and compassionate people I've ever met. There's no one else I trust, or want, to give this position to."

"Thank you so much." You blushed then returned to the contract. You scribbled your name on the final page and handed the stack to him. "It'll be a pleasure living with you."

He chuckled and accepted the contract. "I'm almost positive the pleasure will be all mine."

[maconthepen]

I used to work in a bookshop.

It was a new one, and I was hired before it opened. For weeks, I was surrounded by the smell of paint and sawdust as we got the place ready for opening. When its doors revealed it to everyone else for the first time, we gave a free book to the first customer and I remembered thinking, I can't wait until this place smells of paper instead of tireless renovation.

By the time I left, it did.

Most of my colleagues just wanted a “real job”: a nine-to-five and a salary with benefits, somewhere far from a new and characterless shopping centre in low-income area of our city. I couldn’t judge them for that; I wanted one, too. I wanted job security, and I wanted not to work until midnight on Christmas Eve, slinging David Williams and Roald Dahl and Jojo Moyes at disorganised fathers and husbands with stress veins pulsing at their temples.

And then I got a “real” job, and I realised working in a bookshop was the realest job I’d ever had.

Here are the things I remember:

The peace of the nature and travel section. We had an armchair there for the adventurers and gardeners who wanted a quiet moment in their day.

The mum who thanked me for choosing the right book, for helping her child to read something for the first time in years.

The little girl who talked my ear off for half an hour after school about the Murder Most Unladylike books.

Talking to authors, and hearing — seeing, too — their unspooling, magic passion about the worlds they’d created.

The growth of our accessible kids book section from one shelf to half a bookcase, though that hardly seemed enough. The joy of a little boy who had dyslexia and could finally read the book his friends were reading.

Saturday mornings in 2018. Slime was really popular and we had to shield our books with tarp, while the kids who made their own ran around with blue-purple-glitter-stained fingers.

The teenager who came in by herself every day with scuffed shoes and a heavy backpack. Each afternoon, she would read a chapter of a book with the utmost care. When she put it back on the shelf, there were no dog-ears. There were no coffee stains, no spinal damage, no sign she'd been there at all. We were that girl's local library. The day I realised that, I started taking the book she was reading off the shelf until the next day when school was out again.

Most of all, I remember the people. My friends with beautiful Celtic names who laughed with me as we shelved and shelved, and I remember Jack, a man with a booming laugh who'd always give me a lift home and who put kippers in the fucking microwave that made the break room stink for a week.

He played the bagpipes at my wedding.

I applied for another bookseller position today, half a world away in a place where literacy rates are high and the people buy the newest Barbara Kingsolver when it's in hardback and still priced over thirty dollars. If I get the job, I'm sure I'll love it. And I do want it. I want to return to saying the alphabet under my breath as I deal with a new delivery and fill the gaps in the shelves, exactly one book wide. I want to see streams of customers walking away with whole worlds in their hands, and in the off season when there isn't anything to do, I want to tuck my own book underneath the counter and read it surreptitiously.

But there's a grief about me too, today. I will never have my old life again. I will never again have that job I took for granted with those people I cherished.

I wish I loved it more when it was mine, but all I can do is make sure I love whatever comes next, too.

Anyway, here's to books.

[pablolf]

If white progressives recognized any good in post-apartheid South Africa, they would also have to acknowledge that they—who frequently live more comfortably than they could on the same salary anywhere else on Earth—were still making out like bandits. One white friend told me that he and his wife felt “deep down” that white people in South Africa had “got[ten] away with hundreds of years of injustice.” Perhaps the strangest thing I saw was how deeply troubled white South Africans were by this feeling—that white people had never faced a full reckoning for apartheid. Apartheid-era white elites had justified white domination by saying that, without their rule, Black people would take revenge on them or ruin the country. When widespread revenge and ruin never came, many white people felt forced to fabricate it; otherwise, white dominance became all the more shameful—not only to apartheid’s proponents but even to anti-apartheid progressives, who had inevitably benefited from a regime that comprehensively promoted white interests. The Afrikaner journalist Rian Malan, who opposed apartheid, has written that, by most measures, its aftermath went better than almost any white person could have imagined. But, as with most white progressives, his experience of post-1994 South Africa has been complicated. A few years after the end of apartheid, he moved to an upscale Cape Town neighborhood. Most mornings, he drank macchiatos at an upscale seaside café—the kind of cosmopolitan place that, thanks to sanctions, had hardly existed under apartheid. “The sea is warm and the figs are ripe,” he wrote. He also described this existence as “unbearable.” He just couldn’t forgive Black people for forgiving him. Paradoxically, being left undisturbed served as an ever-present reminder of his guilt, of how wrongly he had treated his maid and other Black people under apartheid. “The Bible was right about a thing or two,” he wrote. “It is infinitely worse to receive than to give, especially if … the gift is mercy.”

When Racial Progress Comes for White Liberals