#still working on the midnights covers oops lol

[aberooski]

DROP EVERYTHING NOW!

Speak Now (Bastion's Version) has joined the TS x GX album cover panteon!

[aiekerman]

Easy - Eren Jaeger

Eren Jaeger x Reader - fluff, college!au

AN - If you saw me post this before, no you didn’t. But in actuality it is a repost I just changed it to second person oops. But anyway, hopefully anyone who sees it for the second time likes it again lol. 

(A part 2 and/or prequel does exist for this in my brain if anyone was ever interested!)

Song vibes: Easy by Troye Sivan ft. Kasey Musgraves

Summary - Just a pair of friends that definitely do not like each other. But leave their rooms at midnight for each other with no hesitation, and know each other’s food orders, and are low-key affectionate with each other.  A pair of friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N: Hey :)

Eren drags his head out of his textbook as his phone goes off. Pushing stray hairs back off his forehead and out of his eyes. His tired eyes lit slightly at the sight of your name. His fingers quickly replying

Eren: Hey u

He glances at the time, 12.03 am, he frowns, worried whyyou were awake so late. Three bubbles appear on his screen as he waits for your reply to arrive.

Y/N: U up?

Eren: I’m texting u back aren’t I?

Her reply takes slightly longer this time, and his mouth crooks up at the side, picturing the eye roll you were most definitely doing.

Y/N: Shut up

You know what I mean

Eren: Yeah I’m up

Last minute studying

He pulls the phone from its charger and leans back in his chair, one foot against the desk leg and swinging back slightly. You take a little longer to reply and his eyes drift to the top of the screen where your contact picture is. His mouth betrays him again and a smile ghosts over it. 

The picture is simple. A candid of you sat proudly in front of a sandcastle you were making at the beach during spring break. Your legs splayed either side of it, covered in sand. You were smiling up at someone, probably Sasha, your hair a wavy, salty mess, blowing in the sea breeze.

Your reply finally comes, vibrating the phone in his hand and dragging him from his thoughts. He rolls his eyes at your message.

Y/N: Midnight Taco Bell run? :)

Eren: Have you been smoking?

Y/N: No I just also happen to be doing midnight work and have a craving

His fingers move to reply before another message comes through, very quickly, and he pauses.

Y/N: And I miss your dumb face

Eren: You mean my pretty face?

Y/N: I change my mind I’m asking Jean

Eren: Shut up I’m getting ready now

Y/N: :))

Eren chucks the phone over to his bed, staring at his textbook for a second. He knows he should keep studying, or better yet, go to bed. But he misses you too. He stands from the seat and shuffles around his room, quietly as possible. Armin was definitely asleep and would definitely make a dumb comment about Eren being whipped for someone he wasn’t even dating.

Eren brushes off the thought and pulls his sneakers on, swaps his gym shorts for sweatpants and scrapes his hair back into the best bun he can manage. 

After wandering out of his room he grabs his keys and wallet from by the door and shuts it over with the quietest click he can manage. 

On his walk to his car he sends one more text.

Eren: Getting in the car now

Eren: I’ll be like 10 mins

Y/N: I’ll be the cute one in pyjamas ;)

He laughs at the flirtatious message before switching on his car and driving off. 

His mind doubles back to what would be Armin’s comments on the situation. They weren’t dating, but flirting between friends was entirely normal. He shakes off feeling the need to justify his relationship with you. You were friends, best friends. That almost hooked up once. The first time you met. But now you were just friends.

Before he even realises it he’s pulling up at the kerb by your building, his eyes glancing up to the door and watching a shadowy figure emerge. His head leans back against the headrest when her form comes into the dim street lights.

You’re dressed the same as him, sweatpants hugging your hips and an oversized hoodie drowning your top half. He squints for a second, was that his hoodie? Nah, it probably wasn’t, you had similar taste in hoodies anyway. You push the hood back when you reach the car, a mess of hair tumbling out around your face. It resembled a bedhead, but he knew you well enough to conclude you’d been sleepily running hands through it all night to make the mess. Tugging at the roots in efforts to stay focused on whatever it was you were working on.

You tug the door open and pull yourself into the seat. Situating yourself before turning to him and pushing your glasses up her nose, foregoing contacts at this hour, ‘Hi.’

He smiles down at your smaller form, ‘Hey you.’

‘Let’s get going.’

He raises an eyebrow at you, watching you slide down in the seat. Your eyes are wide as you stare back, ‘What?’

‘Seatbelt.’

You roll your eyes and push yourself back up, reaching for the seatbelt, ‘Yes, mother.’

Hearing the belt click in place he pulls off, satisfied with your safety being secured.

You grab his phone from the cupholder, and push it under his face slightly, not obstructing his view but close enough for him to give it a quick glance and unlock his face ID for you. You start scrolling spotify and find your combined playlist, made with midnight food runs in mind. RnB starts flowing out of his speakers.

Dropping the phone back in the cupholder you turn to look at his profile, ‘So what you been studying for?’

‘Psychology final, not until next week but after I kinda bombed the midterm I don’t wanna be caught off guard. You?’

‘Final project is due in two weeks. I’ve kinda got it finished but I’m not sure.’

He smiles, knowing you were just being a perfectionist about it.

‘Am I gonna get to read it?’

‘Why do you want to?’ You laugh at him, looking over at his profile that was focused on the road ahead, but seeing his lip was pulled up in a smirk.

‘Cause you haven’t shut up about it all year, I wanna know if all the support snacks I’ve bought you have been worth it.’

You scrunch up your face and shove it down into the hoodie you were adorned in. It smelt like Eren. Wait, was this his hoodie?

‘Huh, nothing to say back?’ His grin is too smug as he steals a look at you. You glare up at him, ‘Shut up.’ 

Silence settles over you in the last minutes before you approach the destination. You push yourself up to sit when the glowing sign comes into view, your eyes lighting up again.

‘Drive thru or sit in?’ Eren questions, approaching slowly as he waits for an answer.

‘Sit in, please.’ He nods before swinging into a parking spot.

You both jump out and Eren rounds the car to your side, bumping you with his hip in greeting now you were out of the car. His hands are stuffed in his pockets but you grab hold of his sweatshirt sleeve gently as you start joking about how you had to sneak out without setting off Sasha’s food radar.

Inside you bounce ahead of him slightly, up to one of the self serve screens and start ordering. He smiles softly at how you had to shuffle the too-long hoodie sleeve up to let your hand emerge.

He comes behind you and places his chin on top of your head, watching as you confidently tapped at the different items.

‘You haven’t asked what I wanted yet.’ 

‘I know your Taco Bell order, idiot.’

‘Maybe I want something different this time.’

‘No you don’t.’

The screen goes black for a second while loading the checkout and he glances at your reflection. You push your glasses up your nose, looking up and sticking your tongue out at him when you see his eyes already on you. 

He smiles before ruffling at your already messy hair and standing back to pull out his wallet. Glancing up, he catches you doing the same and suddenly moves quicker, as do you. Whipping out his bank card and reaching around you to tap it on the terminal, the familiar beep of a successful transaction going off before you can push your card in the bottom slot.

Eren grins in triumph while you stuff your wallet back in the hoodie and grumble, ‘Stupid contactless card.’

You pull the receipt from the machine while he walks over towards a booth, dropping into the seat and stretching his legs out while watching you.

Your hands are shoved into the hoodie, you sway and shuffle around on you feet. Standing still was never one of your strong suits. 

A smile takes over Eren’s face as you yawn and rubs at your eyes, pulling the hood up over your head and pulling at the strings slightly. He chuckles at the image of your head being swallowed. You turn at the sound and frown at him, mouthing out ‘don’t laugh at me.’ Prompting his laughter to continue on.

He settles back in the booth when their number is called and you wander up to accept the tray of food.

Dropping yourself down across from him, the two of you automatically begin splitting out their food, almost instinctively knowing which packages were for who; Eren always had the nachos, you never deviated from fries. 

You ate in silence for just a moment before you pick up conversation again, ‘Are you gonna go to Jean’s party after finals?’

‘So bold of you to assume Jean could pull off a decent party without me.’ He smiled, stuffing a bite of his burrito in his mouth as you giggle. ‘What about you?’

‘I mean yeah probably, if everyone else is going.’

‘Well, Jean has got me and Connie roped in to help with set up, so Connie will make Sasha go, and Sasha will make Mikasa go, who will make Armin go, who will make sure I don’t flake off early and I’ll make sure you stay.’

‘Connie and I.’ You correct, reaching for your drink.

‘Shut up.’

‘Also, Eren Jaeger flaking early from a party is wholeheartedly unheard of.’

‘I left the last one early because someone needed to be walked home after throwing up.’

You pause with the straw at your mouth, eyes narrowing in a glare. 

‘You can’t get too messy this time anyway. Bertolt is gonna be there.’

You scrunch up your face in confusion, ‘Why’d you say his name like that.’

‘Because, you haven’t got laid since spring break, he’s cute and you said you guys have gotten super close from your fiction writing class.’

You roll your eyes at the tall boy’s explanation and shrug, ‘He’s kinda cute. I guess. And we haven’t gotten super close, we barely knew each other before the class.’

‘Exactly, he’s at perfect arm’s length for a hook up. You deserve it after all the stressing you’ve done this semester.’

You shrug again. Setting your drink back on the table and leaning back, your feet stretching out to bump against Eren’s, you think about it.

Eren watches you, yourr eyes staring out into space. Bertolt was cute, he didn’t get around that much from what Eren had heard of the boy, but he was sweet enough that he knew he could trust him with you, even just for a night.

But even as he looked you over, dark circles beginning to shadow under your eyes, figure swamped in your loungewear and hot sauce staining one edge of your mouth. You were way out of Bertolt’s league.

‘You’re probably way too good for him anyway.’

‘Even just for a hookup?’ Your eyes meet his green ones, your mouth showing a teasing smile starting to form.

He stuffs more burrito in his mouth and nods.

‘You think I’m too good for everyone.’

He swallows and reaches for his drink, ‘cause you are.’

‘Was I too good for you, is that why you didn’t have sex with me?’ You start grinning and laughing as he chokes on his drink. He leans an elbow on the table as he coughs, glaring at you through his lashes.

Eren sticks a hand out at you and gestures for you to cough it up. You pull a dollar from your wallet and stuffs it in his hand.

He imagines it’s the same dollar he gave you last week after he joked about your almost hook up. The metaphorical ‘don’t talk about the time we almost had sex’ jar was essentially the same dollar passed back and forth.

‘Was that one worth it?’ He raises an eyebrow at your giggling face as you reaches to open your crunchwrap, nodding in a satisfied manner.

You hold the hexagonal taco in your small hands and Eren chuckles. You eye him, taking your first bite and speaking out a muffled, ‘What?’

‘Your tiny hands always make those things look huge.’

‘Maybe your meaty boy’s hands just make it look small.’

He sticks a hand out in front of you, palm spread out to show the full size, ‘My hands are not meaty. And they’re no bigger than average.’

‘What are you talking about?’ You mirror him, lifting your hand to press a palm against his, the tips of your fingers just brushing above the second knuckle. 

‘Your hands are just tiny.’

‘No, they only look small because yours are huge.’

You both fall silent, two sets of eyes trained on your pressed together hands. Eren ignores the feel of his heart pounding up against his chest.

What was wrong? They’d held hands before? 

The ring of your phone blaring out an alarm drew both of them from the trance. Eren slid his fingers to interlock with your’s, playfully pushing your hand back towards your body.

‘Who’s calling you at this hour?’

‘No one, I, uh, I set an alarm for one thirty am. Otherwise we’d sit here all night, knowing the two of us.’

He lets out a small laugh, nods in agreement and starts to gather up your trash. His eyes run over your face just before standing, choosing not to make fun of the blush gracing your cheeks.

You stand and fall in stride next to him, bumping his hips with your own and poking his side, ‘What about you?’

‘What about me?’

‘Got your eye on anyone for Jean’s party?’

‘Nah, I’d rather just chill. I’ll probably spend half the night making sure Jean stays relatively sober for his own party.’ You laugh at the idea, nodding your head fervently. Jean usually ended up the messiest of the bunch.

The exit into the cold night air, and your body is immediately taken over with shivers. Eren rolls his eyes but loops an arm around your shoulder, his own body a constant furnace. You hum in appreciation, leaning into his side as he rubs at your arm.

Climbing into the car, he blasts the heat. This time you pull on your seatbelt with no need for prompting, your head turning to stare up at him, the raise of her eyebrows translating to You happy?

He stays quiet, pulling on a cheesy grin that answers back, Very.

You flop back into your seat, a yawn overtaking you and the heat of the car soothing you The effort to keep your eyes open immediately doubled.

‘You can close your eyes. I’ll wake you when we get to your building.’

You look at him with a sorry expression, ‘But I dragged you out I shouldn’t-’

‘Sleep, idiot,’ he cuts you off, lifting a hand from the steering wheel to run over your hair, long fingers running through it. Always a surefire way to make you sleepy.

You drift off quickly, a smile softly laid on your cheeks.

Eren feels his heart beating hard once again. He swallows it down. Focuses on the road. Just friends was easier.

[whocalledhimannux]

hello my friends it's time for another wildly self-indulgent AU, based on the fact that I spent several hours tonight with two windows open on my laptop, one showing Queen's Thief fic and the other showing the Philadelphia Phillies absolutely crushing the Reds:

Q T B A S E B A L L AU

featuring Eugenides as a hotshot player who is a rediciulous thief of bases (if u click on that link, take moment to pray for Roman Quinn's achilles 😢), incredible speed, no one can touch him, if he gets on base he will be scoring...

...until noted Absolute Asshole Nahuseresh "accidentally" steps on his hand with sharpened cleats (for the grip! he had no idea they would be dangerous! shocked and apalled and apologetic, really!) and causes nerve damage bad enough that Eugenides is more or less forced into an early retirement, reigniting the old Eddisian Griffins-Attolian Lilies rivalry with a vengeance

Helen is the manager (main coach) of the Griffins (she played baseball on teams with her brothers as a kid) and Irene is the owner of the Lilies

a year later, during the off-season, Irene and Eugenides elope, she hires him as the manager for the Lilies, and trades Nahuseresh while making it clear it's not about his playing, which is good, but because he's an absolute asshole. all of this happens in like a week and sports media goes BUCK WILD.

Dite is a very precocious pitcher, Sejanus is a shortstop. Eugenides trades both of them just under the trade deadline because he suspects Erondites is doing some shady Black Sox shit behind the scenes

Sophos is a pretty inconsistent player when he's younger and it's openly speculated he only makes it into professional ball because of nepotism--ironically, once his uncle loses a shit ton of money in a business takeover and has to sell the team to [random rich owner, idk], he really hits his stride and is called up from the minors to play for a major league team under the guidance of the Magus, who is his manager. he's a center fielder. drove his father nuts in his youth because he was always daydreaming instead of paying attention to the ball.

fun side note: like Sophos, I have a scar on my lip that alters my smile. I got mine when a softball glanced off my glove and hit me in the face, and my lip got caught in my braces. so I like to think he gets an injury in this AU in a similar way, lol.

I haven't thought this through for all of them, because it's midnight and I can't be doing this for hours, but major King's Guard/Attendants are Lilies players, cousins/major Eddisians are Griffins, etc. I'm de-aging some of them to make it fit.

MoW (is it weird that's still my default for him?) is a base coach, Ornon is a long-suffering umpire

Teleus is captain of the Lilies and their catcher (for non-baseball fans, the catcher does a lot of directing during the game--helping pitchers choose which pitch to throw, helping to decide if fielders should move back or move in or cover certain gaps)

he does get into a shouting match with Eugenides at one point, on the field, and again, sports media goes BUCK. WILD. the Lilies have so many good unwritten rules/bench-clearing/wtf-just-happened moments during this time.

as a player Eugenides defied a couple of the unwritten rules--he was not shy about bunting or stealing bases whenever tf he wanted to, for example. he dodged a lot of intentional hits from pitchers but he was too damn charming for the fans to be really mad at him

Relius is their general manager at first, the guy in charge of numbers and trades and negotiating. he's kicked out after a scandal but Irene ends up keeping him around. he starts to actually attend games in a private box and watch instead of schmoozing and rediscovers his love for the game.

oooooh I kind of like the idea of most of the attendants being pitchers. pitchers are sort of divas and teams have like 10+ and fans of Certain Teams experience a LOT of exasperation over their pitchers' inconsistent performance (not that I would ever ever point to any specific team and the fact that Lilies rhymes with Phillies means absolutely nothing)

Costis is the first baseman (because TALL) and has a killer batting average, is v close with Aris who plays second base, and kinda sorta accidentally becomes the first out MLB player when he gets caught making out with Kamet after winning the home run derby. oops.

Teleus, who has been successfully avoided winning that title for years, mocks him ruthlessly (although he does have a Glenn Burke kind of deal where his teammates know but keep it private)

Kamet has relatively little interest in sports and there is a lot of online complaining about the fact that he openly grades papers/works on other stuff during games, but hey, this PhD isn't going to earn itself. he does pay attention to Costis's at-bats, though, and gets more invested in the games as he gets to know other players better--he also eventually reveals that he's got a mean head for stats, even if he doesn't feel the need to be watching every second of every game. there are 162 of them for each team and they go on for 4 hours, okay? give him a break.

dear god, I don't even know exactly where Pheris fits in (once he's like. an adult.) but please take a moment to scroll through this page of commonly tracked baseball statistics and appreciate how much Pheris would lose his mind over this game

WAIT no I've got it, Relius becomes the scouting director for the Lilies and Pheris works with him. Moneyball.

the equivalent of the fighting the guards scene at the end of KoA is one day Eugenides is running a practice with the team and lets Laecdomon (one of the pitchers, doomed to be traded soon after) goad him into stepping in the batter's box. Laecdomon goes between strikes and balls that come VERY close to hitting him, including one that almost beans him in the head, but Eugenides manages to hit the ball even with his bad hand, fuckin' zooms around the bases while the team fumbles and commits multiple errors trying to stop him, and leaps over Teleus at home to score.

ok I spent an hour typing this up when I should have been sleeping lmao, but I have written two other baseball AUs for two other fandoms (as a contributing writer/brainstormer for one, tbf) and I am totally down to talk more about this concept if there are other QT baseball fans out there

[amy-issen]

ok so here it is!! i spent the last week solely making and listening to this playlist like i was POSSESED because this ship is lovely and deserved a nice playlist!  if anyone wants to know why i picked each song, i’m going to ramble about it extensively in the read more, so check that out if you want! hope you enjoy it! also thanks again to @birbwell​ for letting me use her art for the cover!

i divided this playlist in a few sections so let’s start with the first one (section one: first meeting/pining) i. in the rain - joe hisaishi i wanted to start with a short instrumental track to set the mood, and i looooove howl’s moving castle score, so i had to pick this one! the fact that it has rain in the title also helps to reference how their relationship began! ii. with every breath i take - frank sinatra “every breath that I take is a prayer that i’ll make you mine” my sister is a big sinatra/jazz fan (and also a yakuza fan) so she helped me with picking a few of the songs here! this one is very romantic, elegant and beautiful and i thought it fit the mood (and it’s what i think tachibana listens to in his free time lmao).

iii. gold rush - taylor swift “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful? with your hair falling into place like dominoes my mind turns your life into folklore i can't dare to dream about you anymore” this one is my FAVORITE song on this playlist, and one of the first i picked because this song just fits them like a glove. it’s basically pining 101, and i love that what taylor said this song is about “daydreaming about someone then snapping out of it.” i feel like the first part could be from tachibana’s perspective and the second one from kiryu’s (also giving a bit of a glimpse into the future, with the mention of a coastal town they’ll never find together) iv. first love/late spring - mitski “so please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe please don't say you love me mune ga hachikire-sōde (my heart seems like it’s going to burst)” this one was another song i picked very early on because i love mitski, and i needed to include her here. i just wanted something to symbolize the trust that tachibana and kiryu have to share to work together, and the feelings that emerge from it, if that makes any sense. i don’t think this has a specific perspective, because i feel like this could work from both kiryu’s and tachibana’s (mostly kiryu though) v. real estate - adam melchor “every time I wonder how i'd carry on without you i'm runnin' out of real estate tryna make all the right moves i don't wanna hesitate i would bet the house on you “ do you UNDERSTAND how satisfying it was to find a song named real estate for them?? come ooon. ok that’s not all of my reasoning for it but it’s like. most of it, lmao another song i felt was about trust and feelings. (also a bit of a glimpse into the future, because i’m sad) vi. i get a kick out of you - ella fitzgerald “i get no kick from champagne mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all so tell me why should it be true that i get a kick out of you?” another one my sister recommended. i originally was gonna go with sinatra’s version of this, but i love this one and it just wouldn’t leave my brain. again, one from mostly tachibana’s perspective, get this man to sing this on karaoke night right now. vii. like real people do - hozier  “i will not ask you where you came from i would not ask and neither would you honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips we could just kiss like real people do” this is one of my all time favorites from hozier and, again, it just fit perfectly. tachibana and kiryu have both lived some very... troubled lives so far, and while they’re depending on this trust they have in eachother, none of them really care to know about what they’ve done or who they are. this is mostly from kiryu’s perspective, specially with this metaphor of being rescued/dug up from the earth with the whole being found in the rain and saved by tachibana and his poor driving skills. viii. delicate - taylor swift “this ain't for the best my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me... we can't make any promises now, can we, babe? but you can make me a drink” y’all are going to have to forgive me for picking TWO taylor swift songs but COME OOOON this is another one that i picked early on because i could draw so many parallels between the lyrics and things that they both said in that car scene on chapter 9 (mostly tachibana though) and i kept harassing my sister with screenshots to prove my point and i’m gonna do it again

ANYWAYS i’ve made my case, and now we enter the second section of the playlist at last ( section 2: actual romantic/fluffy songs because this is a ship playlist) i. good old-fashioned lover boy - queen “dining at the ritz we'll meet at nine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 o'clock) precisely i will pay the bill, you taste the wine driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely just take me back to yours that will be fine” is this a bit of a cliché? yes. did i want to include it because it’s very cute and i’d like to imagine kiryu and tachibana having a nice date night with no people trying to kill them all the time? also yes. i love this song.

ii. stay with me/mayonaka no door - miki matsuraba “you in your gray jacket with that oh-so-familiar coffee stain just as you always are the two of us reflect in the window display stay with me knocking on midnight's door i beg you not to go home tonight” (translated lyrics) is anyone not obsessed with this song lately? this is the only song here i’m blaming tiktok for making me listen to it lol. in any way, this song is deceptive because it sounds really happy but is actually quite melancholic. i thought it fit their relationship well, and it seemed like a good addition to the playlist with it’s 80′s city pop vibes.

iii. on melancholy hill - gorillaz (covered by matt forbes) “just looking out on the day of another dream where you can't get what you want, but you can get me so let's set out to sea, love 'cause you are my medicine when you're close to me" this is a gorillaz song but i went with this cover because it fit the feeling of the playlist a little better. another song that i just love very deeply and i thought fit the sentiment of kiryu being like “hey i know we have Big problems and you’re very sad in the moment but i’m here for you” iv. (i love you) for sentimental reasons - nat king cole "i think of you every morning dream of you every night darling, i'm never lonely whenever you are in sight" surprisingly, not one that my sister recommended, but one i found for myself while looking for quiet  romantic songs. i feel like this is tachibana's reply to kiryu being there for him and helping him. plus, idk i just wanted to imagine them slow dancing to this. v. positions - ariana grande (covered by travis atreo) "perfect, perfect you're too good to be true but I get tired of runnin', fuck it now, i’m runnin' with you" i picked this cover because i felt like using ariana's one would be a little goofy for this section lmao, but i really like this song and how it's about commitment and doing everything to make a relationship work. i just wanted to throw some sexy vibes before this playlist delved into depressing stuff. also if you telling me tachibana wouldn't absolute body a tiktok set to this song you're lying to yourself. (section 3: oh no this is getting sad) i. forever - labrinth "i'll live forever" i love everything labrinth makes, the euphoria soundtrack lives in my mind rent free and this is my favorite one. this barely has any lyrics so, again, mostly a track i picked for its intrumentals and feeling overall. mostly preparing you for the sad stuff ahead. ii. hong kong - gorillaz "you swallow me i'm a pill on your tongue here on the nineteenth floor the neon lights make me calm" this is my favorite gorillaz song, by FAR, and i think it's introspective vibe really fits tachibana's character. not really a song about relationship but i really wanted to include it because it's just such a GORGEOUS song. iii. fragments - severon another instrumental track! this one i stole from a playlist my sister made for a fic i wrote last year. again. sad vibes. iv. sign of the times - harry styles (covered by LANY) "remember everything will be alright we can meet again somewhere somewhere far away from here" i loved the synth-y vibe this cover had, while still keeping this song's sad "our lives are dangerous and i'm about to die" vibes. i mostly wanted to evoke the vibe from the scene where tachibana agrees to go with lao gui after kiryu gets shot. just really sad all around. v. so close - jon mclaughlin "we're so close to reaching that famous happy end almost believing this one's not pretend let's go on dreaming though we know we are so close, so close, and still so far" me? picking a song from disney's enchanted??? for a playlist??? it's more likely than you think. idk this song just gives me that vibe of being so close to being happy and together, almost reminiscing and wondering what could have been. but it just... won't happen. vi. as the world caves in - matt maltese "yes, it's you i welcome death with as the world, as the world caves in" oops, yes, i had to go there. just couldn't resist including this song, and i feel like it's really self-explanatory. vii. places we won't walk - bruno major "neon lights shine bold and bright buildings grow to dizzy heights people come alive at night in places we won't walk" again, i feel like this song speaks for itself. a bit of a meditation on kiryu's perspective on things that could have happened, things they would have done, that kiryu will just have to do alone from now on. viii. carry me out - mitski "i drive when it rains at night, when it rains, i drive and the headlight spirits they lead me down the styx so black it shines and carry me out carry me out"

possibly the saddest and the most powerful song in this playlist, because i just had to put a mitski song again. the image of kiryu carrying tachibana's body is just constantly in my mind when i listen to this, but i could also see this song being from the perspective of tachibana's spirit. ix. arms tonite - mother mother "i died in your arms tonight i slipped through into the afterlife it was nice" lmao this felt a bit like a cruel joke to include, but i didn't want this playlist to end TOO depressingly. it's a nod to tachibana dying in kiryu's arms, sure, but also it's romantic and possibly a little hopeful (tachibana lives au!!! orpheus and eurydice au!!! fuck it, idk!!)  xi. everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears "there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do, i'll be right behind you so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it everybody wants to rule the world" not a recommendation from my sister, but it is her favorite song, and she was happy that i included it. another 80's bop with sad lyrics! i feel like this is a lovely summary of their story together and it feels like a nice little bow to wrap up the playlist.  i hope you enjoyed my long ass explanations! i might add songs later (or make an entire second playlist altogether for the fic i'm writing rn, but let's not get ahead of ourselves)

[obscureoperations]

I’m not the collar anon but Martin is cute and putting him in nice cute lingerie as a way to show him that he’s cute and yours🥺🥺🥺🥺 play into his praise kink and his want to be owned by you. Maybe you even chooses what he wears and dresses him. Only you two know that he’s wearing some cute panties and bra under his clothes and once in a while you’ll brush against him to hear him subtly whimper. (If this isn’t your thing that’s fine lol, I’m just going off)

Hah! Go tf off anon! Say it with your whole chest.. I know I did...I'll admit, I never woulda came up with this concept myself. Guess thats why I like hearing your random ideas. This went on longer than I thought it would and Im operating on a questionable ammount of sleep. Oops. Nsfw but nothing too graphic...

At times you couldn’t believe this was actually a thing, the fact that he went through this “ritual”just for you. In the beginning, you told yourself you were just joking, that you only wanted to see his reaction. You couldn’t deny the flicker of excitement once he started to undress fully in front of you. No more shutting the blinds, flicking the lights off-- diving beneath the covers before anything ensued. You always made it a habit of telling him just how beautiful he was. How lucky you were to have him. He would look at you as if you were insane. The truth of the matter was you wanted him completely. You were overjoyed just to have him in your life. He never believed it-- any of it. When you first stated in simple words, just how much he meant to you-- you were sure that he might faint. 

“ So you actually like me.. y/n… I mean really like me?”

One of the things you loved about Martin was the fact that he always tried so endlessly to please you. Always by your side in an instant, the moment he detected any form of distress.When it came to “the sexy stuff” His receptiveness seemed to intensify-- his only goal was to make sure you would go. 

You always made sure to praise him. You let him know how good he could make you feel. Moans and whimpers pale in comparison to your words. “ You’re so good for me.. Martin.” “just like that…” “Baby please…’' You couldn't ask for a better student. So when the two of you laid together on a lazy Saturday night, you were completely thrown. His fingers fluttering beneath your shorts. Resting against the hem of your panties. It was one of your fancier pairs, black satin full of lace. It wasn’t like anything you wore everyday, Laundry was due and you needed something. It was the first thing that fell out of your drawer.

He seemed to be fascinated by the fabric, the way it clung to your skin. “Here...take these off.” 

“Take what off?!” You whisper, already fumbling with his belt. 

“These…” he whispers, sliding your jeans down your waist, fingers playing over the silky fabric.

He seemed mesmerized for a moment at the way the material clung to your skin, he began experimentally tugging at the fabric. Teasing you, briefly with his hand before returning his attention to the elastic. You were always beautiful to him but something was different, his desire for you seemed to intensify. The sheer lace material provides a barrier to where he wants you most. He could already feel heat rise to his face.

“Martin, I'm sure they would look so much better on you….”

His eyes snap to your face,  were already laughing--arms crossing over your eyes.

“What” He whispers as he moves to shift your leg, already teasing you through the fabric. 

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, suppressing a moan-- you couldn’t believe that he already managed to get you that worked up. He leans in burying his face at the crook of your neck, increasing the motion of his hand. “Tell me…” he whispers, noting how the sheer fabric was practically soaked, his teeth digs into the flesh of your shoulder

“ You jus-- ohh “ 

“Would you like that?” The speed of his hand increases-- finally sending you careening over the edge.

“Ye-yess”

“If I wore yours?”

He sits back admiring his handiwork, you were panting, arms crossed over your face. A fine sheen of sweat covers your skin. His attention remained in that tiny scrap of fabric, unsure why the wheels were already spinning in his mind. 

~~~~~~~~~

He was always so nervous, hesitant to leave the bathroom-- even after you tap on the door asking if he was okay. His eyes would linger at his reflection, overanalyzing every imaginary flaw. His slight figure-- to slight in his opinion shivers as a breeze flows in through the window. His skin breaks out in goosebumps,, he wraps his arms around himself lightly. 

He looked ridiculous, you would surely laugh at him. He wondered briefly if this was all an elaborate prank. The midnight blue fabric clung to his skin, hipbones pronounced--jutting forward sharply. The sheerness of the material left next to nothing to the imagination, he began to blush profusely, noting how he was already slightly on. This had to be about the third occasion  he agreed to modeling for you, and yet it always felt like the very first. Heartbeat hammering against his ribs, he swore he could feel your gaze as it moved over him. Fidgeting, slightly unsure what to do with his hands. “Martin… come here” In an instant, he would relax in your embrace as your fingers weave through his hair. “So pretty…” The words alone caused a warmth to bloom in his chest, he needed to hear more. “Am I?” He whispers as you lead him to the bed. He takes his place kneeling in front of you. 

It was decidedly different than when he was in town, the silken fabric caressing his skin. You always knew when he might need the slight boost, a subtle reminder of who he belonged to. 

You used to always lend him youus, assuring him he could pick out whichever garment he liked. They were just so pretty, he didn’t even know you had that many pairs. He was used to you wearing nothing at all or even boxers in the winter. They seemed to suit you perfectly, he had no idea why you didn't wear them more often. He didn’t bother to ask, that only meant more options for him right? One day, when the two of you were out and about, you gingerly pulled him into a lingerie shop. His face reddens immediately, as his gaze lands on a scantily clad mannequin. The entire shop smelled strongly of vanilla and something vaguely floral. Elevator music droned on in the background, his eyes move over the various displays of silky lace. Frills straps and garters. His head starts to swim “ Y/n… what are we doing in here?” He whispers, but not before a petite blond emerges from the back.

“Oh sweet! Newlyweds… am I right?”

“No” “Yes!” You pull him close, urging him to play along.

“Perfect, well I just want to let you guys know that we have a special! Every three apparel items you purchase, you have a choice at either a fifty percent off novel, perfume, or private item of your choice.” Her well practiced spiel was almost overly saccharine, but it was clear that she actually liked her job. She hovered close by, offering suggestions and ad ons. But her presence only seemed to make Martin more nervous. After a few moments, you can feel his hand tug at the hem of your shirt. “Can we leave?!”  “Hang on..” 

“Excuse me…” Your eyes move to her shiny name badge “Kelly… we appreciate all your help, but…my husband here is a bit embarrassed to be in here… Catholic family…” You offer with a shrug. Martin averts his gaze to the floor, he just wants her to leave. “Oh, absolutely, Im sorry! If you need anything just yell.” She lets her eyes move to Martin who suddenly seemed wildly interested in his shoes-- before looking over to you. She shot you a wink, mouthing the word “cute” with an approving nod.

The two of you moved to the corner of the shop, with his arm wrapped snugly around your own. He refused to leave your side as he surveyed the counters. “Y/n… can we just pick something and leave? What if someone sees us in here?” “Don’t be silly Martin, we’re on the other side of town-- besides we’re not here for me ...we’re here for you!”

“What?” 

“Pick something, anything you like!” 

Some of the color re-emerged on his face, but he couldn't deny the flicker of excitement. He could pick out anything? He had the choice in what he would wear for you? There were just so many options-- he began to feel a bit dizzy. “Oh… “

As the two of you made your way over to the check out, he hastily shoved the items in your hand. With his gaze pointed back towards his shoes, he couldn’t wait to get back home. “Alright, you guys find everything okay?” “Yes.. perfect, thank you!” You offer chipperly. “Great! Oh, well look at this you’ve got three items, would you like to take up that fifty percent off sale?” You had almost completely forgotten about that. You can feel him cling to you that much tighter, it was clear that he wanted to leave. “Martin?”  He quickly grabs a book titled “The erogenous zones” tossing it on the counter. “Good, choice!” 

The walk back to the train station was brief, all the while he still hovered close. You could tell he was a bit more relaxed now, but he was definitely in a way. He would act so “sweet” to you sometimes, clinging to your side, waiting for the slightest command. You could practically feel the anticipation oozing off of him as you take your places at the stop. The wheels were already spinning in your head. Martin already told you that Cuda would be meeting with some of the men from church around seven thirty. They would have dinner early, and then he would be free to leave. He could hardly contain his excitement.

[purplesurveys]

753

Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? It depends on the task or situation, and how likely it is to get better. I’m rather realistic and choose whether to be positive or negative only after I weigh the pros and cons. Are you comfortable with your weight? Yeah, I’m happy with it. I do sometimes wonder why I get to maintain my weight no matter how much I eat though. How often do you listen to Classic Rock? Never? It’s not really my genre of choice in any context. What about country? Even more never, if that’s even possible haha. Do you know anyone inside and out? That’s a very grand feat to reach and I'm not really comfortable claiming that this is how I am with anyone. I do know for a fact that there are still some things I’m only learning now about my girlfriend and I know her the best out of all the people I know.

Do you have days where all you feel like doing is dancing? Not at all, I hate dancing. Have you learned anything depressing lately? Yes. I talked about it in a survey last night and I don’t feel like going over it again because I’m actually doing a little better now. Is anyone in your family sick? For some reason I’m getting bad coughs every night, but other than that no one is seriously sick. Do you worry a lot, or are you pretty much carefree? Hahahaha the first one. I’m worrying right now; I’m just answering this survey to distract myself. Do you have a lot of freckles? Nope, that’s not a common feature here. Have you ever thought someone was really interesting, but when you got to know them you realized they weren't anything special? Back when Reiven and I were applying for our org, he stood out in our batch since he was hilarious and would make everyone crack up no matter what he said or did. I found him interesting because of that; once I got to know him more he turned out a liiiiiittle bit annoying and also difficult to work with since he would never accept edits and corrections on his works and he’d always stand by his writing errors. Are you very up-front about things or do you "beat around the bush"? Upfront. Everyone who knows me in real life knows I hate nothing more than people who beat around the bush. What kind of camera do you have? I don’t have a legit camera anymore after I gave my old DSLR to my sister, but these days I just use my iPhone’s camera to take photos since its quality is very good anyway. Was today good or bad, or has it just started? It was meh. And the meh-ness is starting to get to me already, ugh. What is something you know you shouldn't do, but do anyways? Stay up criminally late. I think that and my nightly coffees are the source of my bad headaches so I’m trying to sleep earlier these nights. Last night I was in bed my midnight and I gotta say, it was heaven lol. Do you know anyone who doesn't listen to music? Like, no songs at all? That’s so weird; no I haven’t. I can’t imagine anyone never encountering music ever. Tell me the initials of the person you can't get off your mind. ADHM, only because they’re my thesis partner and I feel bad for not having touched the thesis we’re both working on for quite some time now. I did work on it yesterday for the first time in weeks so I’m really proud of myself, but there’s always a part of me thinking it’s never enough. Ever broke something really expensive? Yeah I’ve broken all the phones my parents have ever bought me, which is why they always take forever to buy me new ones, i.e. they’re always hesitant because they know I have a knack for breaking them lol. My current iPhone 8 has stayed with me the longest so far and it’s still going strong though. What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Probably the ₱700 in the wallet that got stolen from me five years ago. Do you trust a lot of people, or very few? I do trust a lot of people but I like keeping my circle small. Is photography one of your interests? Not anymore. It just used to be. Do you know your neighbors very well? I don’t know them at all. We’re not a very close community haha. I’ll smile at a neighbor when I walk my dog, but other than that I don’t know any of their names or who has which kid. Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? [trigger warning] No. When I do it it’s because I loathe myself, and I proceed to cover it up with long sleeves precisely so that it doesn’t get any attention. Has anyone ever called you conceited? Probably my mom at some point. Has anyone ever called you heartless? Again, probably my mom at some point. Do you tell people what you think? Only when it’s necessary and called for. Sometimes it’s simply unnecessary to say every single thought that occurs, like for small stuff like not digging someone’s shoes or if I find their car too hot. Someone says, "I don't judge people." Do you really believe them? No. I think we all judge people initially, it’s just a matter of if we let that judgment linger or not. Do you write ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? No. Poetry has never been my outlet. Who were you last really mad at? My mom, for having been a petty little kid for the last two days. Do you miss anyone? Yeah absolutely. What is a sad song that you like? I have a Spotify playlist literally called ‘sad hours’ and it’s for all my sad songs hah. Here are some of them:

Misguided Ghosts - Paramore

I Forget Where We Were - Ben Howard

I Saw You In A Dream - The Japanese House

Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

Cherry Wine - Hozier

Last person you talked on the phone to? Gabie. How many bones have you broken? Zero. It’s one of my biggest fears so I’ve always been very careful lol. Are you active? I would have been if the semester went uninterrupted and I got to have PE twice a week, but I’m not these days. Last person to get on your nerves? My mom, but also tbh just the weather overall. Are you one of those people who never stops fidgeting? Only when I’m nervous. Otherwise I can stay pretty still. Do you love the Hillshire Farm commercials? (Go meat!) I’m not familiar with them.

Oops, are you a vegetarian? Nope. Are you in any pain right now? Yeah a bit. Even though I stopped drinking coffee I still feel a mild headache coming, but I’m chalking that up to how humid it is right now. My current posture is also not the best and I’m starting to feel it on my lower back. Last time you drank water? Two hours ago, over dinner. Last thing you ate? I had white rice and calamari. Who's house did you visit last? Gabie’s.

[riverdaleroundup]

Riverdale Roundup 20x21: “The Killing of A Sacred Deer”

So Riverdale was on last night. I confirmed did not watch. I couldn’t watch it on my tv and I was far too lazy to get a stream up so like here we are. I go into my PVR to watch it this morning and it’s like “ no information found” and i’m ready to fume but when I pressed on it it still played so it was just god playing a little funny on me. Anyway, when I went on the internet last night people were like shitting their pants about this episode so i’m expecting something good. I’ve got my tea. Lets go.

Apparently I forgot about every single thing that happened last episode because their little recap has me straight shook. Like Reggie shot fangs? In what world?

So the Black Hood rolls up at Cheryl's house fitting to kill her and I’m just down for that. I’ve recently decided to stan Cheryl. I love the villian with a heart of gold. Please see season 1-3 Alex Karev.

So the black hood is coming after Cheryl with a casual axe because he apparently misplaced his gun, and he hacks up her lovely bedroom door. Cheryl goes all hunger games and whips out her bow and arrow and shoots the guy. I mean she could have done us all a favour and killed the guy so we can all move on to greener pastures. Like they aren’t going to drag this shit into season 3 are they? I don’t need another pretty little liars 7 seasons of dealing it, A, or the A team, or charles or whatever that stupid show morphed into.

Cheryl is the most casual girl ever. She just calls up Betty and is like “ yeah so the black hood just tried to kill me and i’m going to go hunt him in the woods. Want to do brunch on saturday?”

So Reggie didn’t shoot Fangs. I mean I guess it makes sense. Reggie was on the ground and Fangs got shot in the stomach so that would have had to have been quite the angle.

Hiram Lodge is like giddy about this whole riot. It's like christmas morning for the little guy.

Betty is uber convinced that her Daddy is the black hood and is worried that someone is going to murder him since Hermione is offering up a casual million dollars for the blackhoods head on a platter, preferably silver. Preferably polished.

So Veronica sees Midges mom wandering on the streets looking coked out as fuck and plot twist she was the one who shot fangs. I mean she thought he murdered her daughter but I mean that evidence is so damn thin.

Reggie is hiding behind a dumpster because bitches are out for him. He calls Mr Lodge and is like “ Daddy help” but Hiram isn’t his daddy anymore. He’s got to deal with this ish on his own.

All the football players + Kevin are out looking for Reggie. They end up at the high school where Sweet Pea and his boys are fitting to burn the place to the ground. Seems a little extreme but SP is cute so I probs would have allowed it.

Principal weatherbee shows up with like a bat or something and is like “ What the fuck? All you skanks better leave rn or i’m flip.” Honestly it’s very Mean girls with the principal and and the bat and i’m honestly surprised he doesn’t send them all to the gym for a seminar on confidence. He will keep them there ALL NIGHT. He can’t keep them past four. He will keep them there till FOUR.

Eventually the gang finds Reggie at Pops and honestly no one should be surprised because there are only ever 3 places anyone could ever be in Riverdale. It’s shocking that Pop had to call Archie to tell him that Reggie was there. They had basically knocked every other possibility off the list.

Betty gets a call from an unknown number and she thinks it’s the black hood, but I mean come on. Her annoying ass ringtone didn’t go off so we all know that it wasn’t going to be BH. It’s FP calling from a pay phone being like  

“ My bitch ass little son is a slithery lil snakey snake and ran off. Is he with you? Also your dad is in the ER.”

Betty promptly gets shook because she knows that Cheryl shot the black hood with an arrow so if Hal is bleeding from the shoulder shit is about to go down.

A bunch of crazies roll up to pops and Archie is pissed that Jughead hasn’t reigned in all his little friends but get shook guys. It’s the Goolies or whatever they’re called. I honestly forgot about them. It seems like decades ago since everyone put on their favourite vintage outfits and went out to watch the street race.

So the football players are trying to barricade the shop and poor pop tate is triggered. The guy has been through enough. Wars. Riots.The whole thing. But he knows how to deal with this ish. They going to lite this place up.

The Goolies are ready to take some names but boom. The Sheriffs cruiser appears out of nowhere and the silver fox fires his gun into the air sending the goolies running.

Hot dads for the win. FP and Keller are everything. Fred is there too but everyone needs a duff.  I would like to make it clear that I audibly out loud said “ yas hot dads unite” before Kevin mentioned anything about the trio. Just want to put that out there.

Betty goes running to the hospital and into her dads room but oops get shook. Hal isn’t there, but Dr Mcstuffins is dead. Poor guy. Asked too many questions. Sounds like every single one of my relatives and neighbours.

The phone beside the hospital bed rings because the black hood just magically knows that Betty has arrived in the room, and he’s like “ listen bitch, it’s past your bedtime. Get your skinny ass home or ima kill your mom. Okay. see you in 10. Byyeeee”

Jughead is brooding at the bar when his phone rings. It’s freaking Alice Jr, Penny Peabody.

She’s all like “ Hey babe. Listen i’m still kind of pissed at you so I kidnapped your girlfriend and was thinking that i’m cut her up into little pieces if you don’t come meet me by the docks.”

Jughead is all like

“Omg no not Betty!”  but Penny is behind on the times and just has Toni. At this point Jughead is just like

“Lol sorry bitch. You’re barking up the wrong tree. Maybe call Cheryl.”

Betty comes home and Alice is just chillin on the couch, enjoying her evening. Betty is like

“ We gotta go right now.”  but Alice already has popcorn on because Hal is going to show them home movies.

So Hal’s real name is Harold? What’s sad is that I find that to be the most shocking part of this. So Hal's dad murdered the conway family because they were sinners? What did these bitches do? Not recycle? So Hal went up to lil janitor before he became big janitor and convinced him that it wasn’t Hals dad who killed the guys family but some rando.

So Pappi Cooper killed Papi blossom and became Pappi Cooper as a cover. Does not make sense to me but okay. I feel like someone would done their ancestry tree and put this ish together but whatever.

So the Conway family knew the truth about this shit and blackmailed the Coopers about it. So those bitches need to die.

Hal has darkness and Betty has got it too so watch out kids. Elizabeth might kill next. I mean she already sent Chic to his death ( maybe)

Hal is like “ say it Betty. Say it out loud” and she’s like “ a vampire” jk. He’s the black hood. BUT there’s another black hood. Are they working together or is this just some random hoe? TBD.

Oh heck BH 2 is attacking Archie! Thank God Fred was there to take the bitch down. BUT makes the fatal mistake of not unmasking the guy when he had the chance.  Fred gets shot AGAIN but thankfully ex Sheriff Hot pants gave him a bulletproof vest.

Alice and Betty are confused about why Hal is telling them all this and why he wants it recorded, and he’s like

“So everyone will understand when we’re gone, or what happened to us” or some bullshit like that. I don’t remember the exact words but it was very menacing. So like is he thinking a double murder suicide type thing or? That’s the vibe i’m getting tbh.

Jughead shows up to the docks and Penny has the Goolie with the heavy eye make up with her. He’s like fitting to taze Jughead but Juggie brought Katniss with him so they Gucci.

Penny just wants to live her life and sell drugs. If they don’t let her do that then the Goolies and the serpents are going to rumble, not a midnight, but at dawn. You know. To keep things fresh.

I forgot about this small fry guy and that he’s coming after the Lodges. Also forgot all about Veronica and Hermione shit talking Hiram while he’s out. So like Hiram is going to expose Freds affair with Hermione but Fred was separated at the time and i’m pretty sure he’s not divorced. So really it was Hermione who was cheating on her spouse. I mean yeah it’s not great for Fred but he wasn’t going against HIS family.

Veronica and Hermione are still fighting when Small Fry breaks down the damn door and is like “ your daddy killed my daddy, prepare to die.”

Hermione is a terrible shot and misses the first 7 times but she gets the bitch eventually.

So Sweet Pea and Jughead are fighting about what to do about the Goolies when FP walks in the tells everyone that Fangs died. The poor baby. They vote about what to do and they decide they’re going to fight the bitches. So I mean, shit it bound to get lit.

Although Alice just found out her no good rotten husband has murdered like a ton of people she can still verbally assault him. GOD HAL YOU ARE SO STUPID.

“Are you going to kill everyone who has ever jay walked?”

And damn, bringing out FP. That cuts deep. Kill it Alice. Oh shit Hal don’t kill Alice! Betty beats him over the head with a fire poker!

FP is stressed! So there are serpent reserves? Who would that be?

So Jughead calls Hiram and is like “ Hey buddy. I know you’re the one making all this shit happen so like let’s make a deal.”

Hiriam comes home and baby boy Andre is dead! He runs upstairs all freaked out that he might have to say rip to his fam but they’re just at the table, waiting for him to come home and clean up the dead body in the study. That’s a blue job.

So Hal is being arrested and Archie is like “ omg he just tried to shoot my dad like 20 mins ago” and Betty acts all shook like she doesn’t already know that there’s another black hood. Pull it together sister.

She gets a call from Jughead and he’s like “ I love you bitch. I ain’t ever going to stop loving you biiiitch” and then he says he’ll see her soon. COULD YOU JUST EXPLAIN YOURSELF REAL QUICK PLEASE?

Oh Hell. Jughead is giving himself over the Penny and the Goolies?  So they’re just going to beat him to death and then murder all the serpents come morning? That seems extreme.

Hiriam took care of the body with the less hot ( but still hot) more crooked sheriff and Veronica is done with his shit.

Oh hell. FP carrying jugheads body? He isn’t dead. The bitch can’t be dead can he? It’s only the second season.  Well damn guys. Guess we’ll have to see.

I’m once again not reading this over because I have things to do today. Thank you and goodbye.

[formerlyjannafaye]

100 Questions

I was tagged by @janes-mike and @el-and-hop and @caseyk112 like 100 years ago and I just finished it now! Oops.

1. What is your nickname? Janaynay, Fayzers, Jan

2. How old are you? 31

3. What is your birth month? February

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Rainbow

6. What’s your lucky number? 2

7. Do you have any pets? not at the moment

8. Where are you from? Canada

9. How tall are you? 5′4

10. What shoe size are you? 8

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? this is so embarassing, I probably own like 35 pairs of shoes (but in my defense, we experience extremes in all 4 seasons during the year) and I am a shoe addict.

12. Are you random? sometimes? but not really.

13. Last person you texted? my dad

14. Are you psychic in any way? i feel like i am really good at reading people and i have a really good memory when it comes to people so maybe a little?

15. Last TV show watched? New Girl

16. Favorite movie? Hard question! ET, Get Over It, Moulin Rouge

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Mr. Dressup!

18. Do you want children? I have one! I’d like one more, I think.

19. Do you want a church wedding? I had one.

20. What is your religion? I am a Christian, which I almost hate to say because Christians are represented so badly today and I am ashamed of this group so often. To clarify, I think Jesus is the bomb and so I try to emulate how he treated people. I’m also a feminist, pro marriage equality, pro choice, pro creation care/caring for the environment, I believe in science, I don’t believe in hell, and I hate violence. So...do with all that what you will.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, I go there a lot with my work.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I literally sweat when a cop car passes me and I’m a goody two shoes, so no! Haha

23. How is life? Its alright. I am really tired today which always affects my mood negatively. And I just watched Infinity War last night so I’m depressed, y’all. (edit: can you tell I started this over a week ago LOL)

24. Baths or showers? Showers (you could not pay me to get into a bath! germs!)

25. What color socks are you wearing? none, its too warm out

26. Have you ever been famous? Once I met the guy who won Canadian Idol and my local grocery store put up a picture of us together in the store and had it up for years. Haha! 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I used to really want to be famous, but celebs get a horrible deal these days. They have no privacy and our world thinks they owe us everything and really they owe us nothing so I would never ever want to be famous. I like being able to look like crap daily and not have it in magazines.

28. What type of music do you like? I like a wide variety of music, the only music I don’t like, really, is misogynistic rap and country. I am a choral and accapella music nerd, I love it so much.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yup.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my side with my top leg thrown over so I’m in a weird stomach/side position but its sooo comfy.

32. How big is your house? Its a good size! Big enough for us and then to host people that come to visit us and our yard is huge!

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I suck at breakfast...toast or a granola bar.

34. Have you ever left the country? I have been to Germany, South Africa, Cuba, Costa Rica and the USA.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Many years ago at summer camp.

36. Do you like anyone? Well I’m married, so yes.

37. Favorite swear word? Shit. It is sooo satisfying to say.

38. When do you fall asleep? WAY too late every night. Between midnight and 2 am.

39. Do you have any scars? Yeah I have some from when I had the chickenpox as a kid and had no self control and scratched them off.

40. Sexual orientation? Straight.

41. Are you a good liar? I think I am a horrible liar, because I value authenticity so much and lying makes me anxious.

42. What languages would you like to learn? I would love to learn Spanish since its so beautiful. Really I just would love to not only speak English!

43. Top 10 songs? Oh my! What a question! Imma be safe and just say the top 10 songs I am listening to most often right now: Fall in Line by Christina Aguilera ft Demi Levato, Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by BSB, Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes, Bittersweet Symphony cover by Boyce Avenue, Love You Long Time by Pentatonix, Dive by Ed Sheeran, Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran, New Rules cover by Pentatonix, Casanova by Allie X, Gravity by Sara Bareilles.

44. Do you like your country? I do! I am mad at our leader rn, and appalled that Ontario elected a Donald Trump wannabe as a premier (like WHY HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING ONTARIO PERSONS UGH) but overall I love being Canadian.

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes! Its the best!

46. What is your personality type? I am an ESFP, an extrovert with introvert tendancies, and I am an enneagram 4 (seriously, google it. That is me to a T).

47. Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff 4 LYFE

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Anne from Anne of Green Gables, just not as smart. Just as dramatic and short tempered, though.

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? I don’t like them or want them near me.

52. Favorite food? Chocolate. Chips and Dip. Dill pickles.

53. Favorite foreign food? I love Mexican food so much I can’t even pick one thing. Also naan bread is the BOMB especially when dipped into dal makhani. Uuuuuuugggghh I wanna eat that so bad rn.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I am pretty clean, messiness makes me crazy.

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Pee standing up, see what its like to not have to deal with bathroom lines, street harassment, etc.

56. What color underwear? Grey.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 20 mins, but usually longer because I don’t like to be rushed so I take my time.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I don’t think so? I’m a walking pile of insecurities.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I used to bite them but I have TMJ and my jaw is a piece of garbage that cannot withstand biting anything hard without popping all out of place and pain. Fun times.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Yup.

61. Do you sing to yourself? CONSTANTLY.

62. Are you a good singer? I have a pretty decent voice.

63. Biggest Fears? Losing people I love, dying, clowns, bats, cockroaches

64. Are you a gossip? I like being in the know but I don’t like pettiness. That said I sometimes find I have to focus REALLY hard to bite my tongue.

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Absolutely.

66. Do you have long or short hair? Its too long! I need a haircut.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Maybe? I might forget a few. The real question is can any of my American friends name the Canadian provinces (the CAN equivalent of states? I DOUBT IT yet we learn the states in school. SMH)

68. Favorite school subject? English and French

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Intoverted extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope and I don’t plan on it.

71. What makes you nervous? Rooms full of people that don’t like me, small spaces, driving in winter.

72. Are you scared of the dark? Less than I used to be, but I don’t like it.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do daily but thats because I have a toddler and teaching/correction is important in some moments. But you also have to let them fail which is challenging to do.

74. Are you ticklish? Nope. Only my sister can tickle me and its so annoying when she does!

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Not that I can recall?

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yeah a few times

77. Have you ever drank underage? I don’t think so, I was 18 by the time I drank anything, I think.

78. Have you ever done drugs? No drugs scare the living crap out of me.

79. What do you fantasize about? Having more time to myself, living alone like a hermit and not having to work, having perfect hair every day, having another kid, living somewhere warm, saying snarky things to my MIL’s face.

80. How many piercings do you have? None.

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yes.

82. How fast can you type? Fast-ish if I’m on a roll but I don’t use the proper hand technique. I get by though.

83. How fast can you run? Run? Moi? HAHAHAHA

84. What color is your hair? Ash brown with a faded rainbow in the back.

85. What color are your eyes? Green.

86. What are you allergic to? Winter mold. Spring is the worst. And I can’t go barefoot on grass unless I want to have itchy swollen feet that I want to scratch off forever.

87. Do you keep a journal? I have one that I’m supposed to write a line a day in but I am the WORST at it. Once I get behind I get so unmotivated.

88. Are you depressed about anything? I feel like I’m sleep walking through my life sometimes, and depression takes away my ability to care enough to be motivated to do anything about it. I swear apathy is the worst side effect of depression for me! 

89. Do you like your age? It is honestly the best. I love being 30! I care less about the insecurities that consumed my life in my early 20s. I have more body confidence . I’m more secure financially than I’ve been at any point in my life. And I still feel youngish. Haha.

90. What makes you angry? White privilege, misogyny, Canadian and American politics, Christian people who don’t act loving and don’t seem bothered by it, when people don’t return their shopping carts in parking lots, when people can help others but don’t, cancer, narcissists.

91. Do you like your own name? I have always loved my name. I only know one other person with my name who spells it like me!

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? Odd question, no.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I have a boy, and if I ever get the opportunity to have another kid I kinda hope its a girl. I’m really close with my mom so I always imagined having a daughter to hopefully be close with too. My son is a mini me in every way, though.

94. What talents do you have? I have a semi-photographic memory (so helpful for studying), I learn song lyrics super fast, I can sing any song for you in the correct key it was recorded in (what would you call that? pitch memorization?)

95. Sun or moon? I love sitting in a sunbeam like a cat. But the moon is super comforting to me. Both.

96. How did you get your name? My mom wanted me to have a different name in a sea of Ashley’s and Brittany’s (I was born in the late 80s).

97. Are you religious? My faith is very important to me and relates to all areas of my life, including my job, so yes? But I don’t feel like I need to be in your face about it, that’s not my style. 

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yes and honestly everyone on the planet could benefit from it! Its the best!

99. Color of your bedspread? White with blue and goldish flowers on it.

100. Color of your room? Light grey.

I feel like everyone already did this but all the same I’m going to tag @earlgreyteagirl, @reddie-to-mileven-it-up, @stevemossington, @maxmayfield and here’s some people who I know already did this but I want you to see my answers haha so here goes @hannahberrie @summer-in-hawkins @jane-el-hopper @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @thezoomermax @puzzlingsnark @fatechica @mikeweezers

[jikook-love]

tagged by @bangtanseonyeontrash​ tanks for keeping me entertained gurled :’)

THE LAST…

-drink: orange juice :3

-phone call: MY DAD. MY ONE AND ONLY OTO-SAN <3 

-Text message: my loser sister

-Song you listened to: Love Battery by Hong Jin Young (still. IT JUST CAME ON BY CHANCE OKAI but it’s goo--oop, now it’s Decalcomanie by Mamamoo dere you go)

-time you cried: idk like a week ago? out of sadness that is. i cried this morning when my sister was playing League of Legends. 

Have you ever…..

-dated someone twice: nah man. once the wind blows away it won’t return (Boys Over Flowers quote that frankly, never made sense to me)

-kissed someone and regretted it: nope. i ain’t an easy woman

-been cheated on: technically that one time on LINE chat in high school I was diqing role playing around with this guy. i’m pretty sure i knew he had a waifu but chose to ignore it. but then i became friends with her and then three of us just got together to FIGHT and I’d accuse him of being a cheater and shiet so uhhh...no i guess not (just reminded me of it LOL) 

-lost someone special: you’re lucky if you haven’t my friend 

-been depressed: it is but a coping mechanism for me at this point :) 

-gotten drunk and thrown up: i don’t drink :D 

Three favorite colors…..

Blue, black & white 

In the last year have you…..

-made new friends: mm hmm ^^

-laughed until you cried: OOOH YES. it’s the best feeling. until i get a stomachache and make one too many weird noises

-found out that someone was talking about you: ...maybe? idk. i feel like i have but idgaf cause they’re so irrelevant my brain doesn’t even care to remember them anyway LUL 

-met someone who changed you: of course ^^ good and bad people alike ofc :) 

-found out who your friends are: hmm...i guess so? 

-kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: i deleted facebook so this question becomes dubious ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

-Do you have any pets?: nope. 

-Do you want to change your name?: i did. until i realized how blessed it was to have a short name :)

-What did you do for your last birthday?:  i had a joint b-day with my mom (that sounds so weird). but she invited her friends and i invited mine and i aggressively forced them to eat all the foods and sing karaoke :’)

-What time did you wake up?: can we not talk about this i feel so attacked rn (it was 9:30 a.m. and then somehow it became 11:30 a.m.)

-What what you were you doing at midnight last night?: reading sketchy manga. probably. 

-Name something you can’t wait for: my fuqing lab results to FINALLY SHOW

-When was the last time you saw your mom?: last month :’( but it’s funny cause she’s coming back from her vacation tonight and we’re coming to pick her up ^^

-What are you listening to right now?: Troublemaker by Troublemaker (BUT WHEN WILL CERTAIN PPL COVER THIS SONG SO I CAN LIVE jkjk that’s asking too much...or is it?)

-Have you ever talked to someone named Tom?: probably. 

-Something that gets on your nerves?: when people don’t give credit where credit is due ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

-Most visited website: NCBI. jk i’m not that cool. tumblr, probably OTL

-Hair color: black. like my soul

-Long or short hair: it’s getting longer again. and i indeed to keep it that way ;)

-Do you have a crush on someone?: even if i wanted to there’s just trash all around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

-What do you like about yourself?: atm? that i washed my bedsheets and blanket on sunday and now they still feel really good and fluffy and i can’t even get out of them <3 best thing i ever did for me 

-Blood type: unknown. probably O though.

-Nickname: Hoe 

-Relationship status: Still irrelevant. 

-Zodiac: CANCER. like the embodiment of my tumblr 

-Pronouns: She/Her

-Favorite T.V shows: i only watch anime gdi White Collar, Sherlock (ish), Friends

-Tattoos: nooone. 

-Right or Left handed: meta. 

-Surgery: nope.

-Sport: i used to play badminton and wanna pick it up again but other than that I don’t move :D 

-Vacation: what about vacation...? Recentest one was with my sister to Montreal in the summer and it was the littest thing I’d ever done in my life :’D

-Pair of shoes: Sneakers. pretty much always.

-Eating: stress lul

-Drinking: watterrrrrr

-I’m about to: go back to work :’)

-Waiting for?: my life to be sorted out. soon hopefully :)

-Want?: to have a plan for next year upon graduating :’)

-Get married?: when you find a person who can tolerate my sense of humour and my hobbies and has a mild neglect kink let me know

-Career?: Probably gonna go to grad school cause I actually really enjoy doing research, and we’ll see who I end up preaching from there ^^

Which is better?

-Hugs or kisses?: lul. neither. idfk how to hug (or kiss) people. WHAT IS SKINSHIP.

-Lips or eyes?: EYEZ. 

-Shorter or taller?: Tall. 

-Older or younger?: Older. oppa plz. 

-Nice arms or stomach?: ...? idk?

-Hook up or relationship?: relationSHIP SHIP SHIP

-Troublemaker or hesitant?: Balance plz. i cannot handle an extremity of either 

-Kissed a stranger?: nope

-Drink hard liquor?: nah

-Lost glasses/contact lenses?: no

-Turned someone down?: we don’t talk anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

-Sex on the first date?: nada

-Broken someone’s heart?: doubt it. i probably unintentionally broke some other thing instead. 

-Had a broken heart?: not really. 

-Been arrested?: almost. but not quite. 

-Cried when someone died?: ya. 

-Fallen for a friend?: yes 

Do you belive in…..

-Yourself?: moreso recently, so I guess so

-Miracles?: LOL YES. I got to where I am based on miracles pretty sure

-Love at first sight?: not yet? unless you count animals then that’s different 

-Santa Claus?: rn no but holy shiet when i’m around children no one tell me to calm down 

-Kiss on the first date?: nah. i like making people wait when i can ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

phew that was long! i’ll  tag @yildiz-blackthorne, @kaliheartsjikook and anyone else who read this until the end ^^

[inkuisitivskins]

LivMiles werewolf AU. 👀

1) Give me a pairing.

2) Give me an AU setting.

3) I will write you a three-sentence fic. OOPS LOL

Under a read more because.. this was kind of a long drabble I’m sorry :’) I’ve just been wanting to write an AU like this for quite a while

Warning for slight blood and body horror

He had noticed her growing more distant during the last few weeks. Distant, and moody. 

Many of her soldiers would joke about the monthly cause of her heightened aggression, though Miles knew otherwise. He also couldn’t help but notice how it happened on every full moon, and when he would politely question her about it, she would always avoid the question– which was unlike her. He had noted how she was always able to tell him anything, save for the reasons behind her hostility every night leading up to, and the eventual leave she took from the fort, the night a full moon rose into the sky. 

Miles was never a man to jump to conclusions, but he would admit to himself that he was growing increasingly worried. Every episode of hers would grow more vicious until this last time, where her absence from the fort had last longer than a single night. Frankly, her leaving the fort without informing him, her adjutant, her personal assistant, and her best friend, worried him– but an unexplained extended leave terrified him to the core. What if something happened?

She had assured him one of the earlier times that her absence was merely a nightly walk, and she did not leave the confines of the area surrounded by the fort, on the Amestrian side of the border, of course. She never “took a walk” in the no-man’s-land between Briggs and the Drachman border, yet Miles still grew increasingly nervous. Even in Amestris where there were no human enemies, the snowy mountain range around Briggs was still inhospitable; being inhabited by dangerous wildlife and even more dangerous, unpredictable weather. 

Sure, the werewolf myth had crossed his thoughts, and wolf chimeras were absolutely a real thing, but he paid no mind to it. If his general had been a chimera, he would like to believe that she would have told him, since the existence of chimeras was tied directly to the military and experiments it had done. Come to think of it, if she was, she most likely wouldn’t have kept it any sort of secret, since the fort was of military purpose, after all.

Still, he found himself quietly making his way down the elevator of Briggs, almost precisely at midnight, when the fort was still, except for the few nightly workers and soldiers who were given the graveyard shift. He didn’t know why he held an unlit lantern in his grasp– he had been tossing the idea around for quite a while, but he supposed he was finally, actually, going to go out looking for her. An absence of two days was far too long for comfort. 

He made sure the fur on his coat was snugly against the back of his neck to keep out any cold as he lit the lantern, exiting the iron walls of Fort Briggs. The night was dark, but the full moon cast an eerie light that reflected off the snow and caused it to look blue rather than white. He lifted the lantern and started walking– in what direction, he was not even sure. He just had to find her. 

Not much time had passed when he happened upon an unusually large footprint in the snow. Normally, he paid no attention to the animal tracks that would litter the snow once one drew far enough away from the fort to find wildlife, but this was even larger than a bear’s. Twice as large, actually. 

Miles didn’t notice himself staring in dumbfounded awe down at the huge print, until he heard a deer cry out nearby. His red eyes snapped up in the direction of the noise, and he immediately hurried over. One again, he didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he loved animals, and if one was hurt, he may try to help. 

Maybe it was because something in the back of his mind knew what was going on. 

He topped a snowy hill, freezing in his footsteps when he saw it. A deer carcass sat in the snow, freshly killed, by what large, looming mass of fur hunkered over it. Its long, white fur stood out against the seemingly blue snow as it tore into its kill, too distracted to notice him.

Why, was unbeknownst to him, but he spoke out, “Hey!”

Immediately couldn’t even begin to describe how quickly the canine head swerved to stare at him. Its maw was bloodied, and its eyes seemed void of pupils in the way they reflected the light of Miles’s lantern. His heart stopped instantaneously, terrified. 

It lunged at him, knocking him onto his back with its long limbs– thankfully, the impact was soft due to the snow. The figure, however, pinned him, breathing heavily and snarling as its eyes remained locked on his, the iron stench of blood strong on on it as it clung to its fur. Heat seemed to be radiating angrily and dangerously off its large body, and Miles could only stare up at it in sheer horror. 

It was this moment, though, when it knocked the lantern from his hands, and he could fully see the color of its eyes. It’s pupils were visible slits now, but the irises were a bright, icy blue, that seemed to be glowing in the darkness of the night. There was only one living thing he knew that had eyes like that. 

“Olivier?” He breathed, chest heaving. Teeth still bared, the wolf sat up ever so slightly, its small ears pricking forward as he spoke. He watched in silence as its pupils widened and shrunk as it focused its sights on him, obviously in deep thought. It still seemed confused, so it bent down, frighteningly close to his face, and touched its nose gently to his cheek, sniffing deeply– the deep noise of its breathing loud in the major’s ear. 

In one motion, it straightened and leapt off of him, its heavy feet strangely quick in the snow as it fled. 

“W-wait, please!” The Ishvalan scrambled to his feet, losing his footing on the snow several times as he grabbed his lantern and hurried to pursue the creature. He caught a glimpse of it running along the treeline, noticing the moonlight on it– the light catching its white fur, seemingly reflecting off a golden hue. 

Thankfully, the snow was deep here, so it was not difficult for him to follow its tracks. Eventually, he came upon a clearing that was surrounded by snow-laden trees, where the footsteps seemed to stop due to the light snow that was now beginning to fall. 

“General?” He raised his voice, looking around. “Please, I want to help you! I’ve been so worried! I-I…” He continued, quieting down. In truth, he was always so protective of her because she was the person he loved most in this whole world. Not only had they slowly gained each other’s trust through their work, but they eventually became best friends, and around that time, Miles finally had the guts to admit to himself that he’d fallen in love with her.

And, in all honesty, if this was Olivier, this changed nothing. It was still her same soul, albeit clouded with a primal need to hunt, and he would give his life to keep her safe.

Heavy steps crunching in the snow behind him caused him to swing around, the force of which sent his lantern flying, since he didn’t have a good enough grip on it with his military-issue gloves. The beast was stalking him, its large paws seemingly moving in slow motion as it crouched. Even with knees bent, its height was that of a normal-sized bear. 

“Olivier,” Miles said again, his voice breaking slightly. He loved her, but he didn’t want it to end like this for him. He had grown up being told folktales by his mother, and one of the ones that stuck with him most to this day was the one about werewolves, where, when under transformation, they had no conscious control over any of their actions. He knew it wouldn’t be her fault, but he also knew that he had made a promise to himself long ago that he wouldn’t die before he told her that he loved her. 

“Please…”

It gained on him, still slowly, until it sank down into the snow, ready to lunge again. 

“Olivier, I love you…”

Instantly, it lifted its head, pupils dilating to circles. It yelped suddenly, the shrill noise not matching the large and powerful body, as it stumbled forward. It lost footing in the snow, tripping onto its stomach, yet already too weak to pick itself up again. Contorting in sharp pain, the beast seemingly began to shrink as the fur retreated into the skin. In a strangely human way, it hid its face in its large paws, its pointed muzzle still peering out between the paw pads, as the whole body lost fur and began to grow more human features once again. Bones were heard cracking as the spine realigned and the pelvis opened to also take on the shape of a person’s rather than that of a quadruped mammal; arm bones shortening from the length they were as not a pure wolf’s, but a monster’s. Blonde hair that matched the gold of the fur soon took over on the head as the canine snout disappeared. Soon, all that remained was the motionless figure of a woman, quickly being consumed by snow. 

Though he was in utter horror from what just transpired before his eyes, Miles shakily stood, urging his body to move despite the shock it was experiencing. Completely ignoring his lantern, he immediately undid the buttons on his coat and hurried to his superior, shedding it quickly. She was limp, so it was difficult, but he managed to prop her up enough to wrap his coat around her, swiftly lifting her bridal style, making sure all of her bare skin was covered by the heavy fabric. 

“Olivier?” He asked, panting due to the shock that remained, his breath leaving him as puffs of smoke in the cold air. He moved a hand to rest two fingers on the side of her neck, sensing a weak pulse– yet a pulse nonetheless. 

At his touch, her eyes fluttered, opening weakly. Though it was obvious how weak she was, his face immediately brightened at her sign of life. 

“I’m sorry,” were the first words that left her, her voice scratchy and soft.

“No, don’t,” Miles replied quickly, bending down to retrieve the lantern. She wasn’t very heavy, and he was rather strong, so he had no trouble carrying her. “Just please be okay…”

“I’ll be fine,” she rasped what sounded like a chuckle as the corners of her lips lifted into a weak smile. “Happens all the time. It’s always painful like this…”

“I’m sorry,” her adjutant responded, walking as quickly as he feet could carry him without fully breaking into a run. He smiled down at her gently, understandingly, “I just wish you told me.”

She shrugged gently, voice still faint, “Lycanthropy… runs in the family. Skips some members sometimes, though…”

“No shit?” Miles breathed, flashing her a small smile, just glad that she was making coherent conversation. He wanted to keep it up so that she didn’t slip back out of consciousness.

“Passed down the Armstrong line for generations,” she sighed shakily, to which he laughed softly. What he wasn’t expecting was the ginger, feather-light touch of her fingertips against his dark cheek, which drew his attention down to her and caused him to have somewhat of a surprised look on his face. 

She gave him the fondest smile she could possibly muster in the state she was currently in, “I love you too.”

—

I drew like all of the inspiration from this from that one post going around a bit ago about how in some legends, werewolves could be transformed back by confessing to them or throwing clothes on them or something like that? Even if that isn’t right and my memory’s failing me, that’s how it works in this AU HAHA

Anyway yeah, I already apologized but this drabble was so long x’D I’ve just been wanting to do a supernatural AU like this with them for a while so I was SO happy when you asked this haha. Either way, thank you so much, Katie!! I’ll be posting this in my Livmiles drabbles collection on ao3 if that’s cool!

ALSO I based the werewolf off the Wolf Beasts seen in Bloodborne. Basically wolves with long creepy limbs

Thank you so much!

[fancymuffinparty]

Prelude

Rating: T; for language and suggestive material.

Pairing: Levi x Mikasa, RivaMika

Summary:  Written for the fifth RivaMika Jam! The story of how an aspiring musician meets and falls for his muse. My partner was @zerolr and my prompt was: “Mikasa is an ordinary person working at a grocery/supermarket store and Levi is a famous musician/actor. He sees her and finds himself attracted/interested in her. So while she checks out his purchase, Levi leaves her his phone number.” I kinda deviated a little from the original premise, but I hope it still turned out okay! :) This was fun to work with and I’m glad I signed up this time around!

Word Count: 3873 (a little long lol oops)

Music is one of many ways people are able to express themselves.

Soft, slow melodies from jazz or classical styles evoke calmness and serenity. Heavier themes can be conveyed through powerhouse ballads of the rock n’ roll variety. Regardless of the genre, there’s almost always a message or meaning to these intricate works of art, crafted from some sort of stimulus.

Some musicians draw inspiration from everyday life and personal experience, travelling and exploring new sights, or through the release of pent up emotions; a coping mechanism for dealing with hardships and complexities of this cruel yet beautiful world.

Aspiring musician Levi Ackerman fears he’s lost any and all inspiration. He has talent, that much is true. However, he recognizes that plenty of other ‘up-and-comers’ and ‘desperate hopefuls’ have talent. His music has hit a plateau, unsure where to take his current career aspirations or how exactly to get where he wants to be. He yearns for a stimulating experience; something to pull him out of this awful rut and set him apart from others in the highly competitive and cut-throat industry, riddled with unoriginal material and blatant narcissism.

Enter Mikasa, and the spark comes back.

She’s a quiet, reserved cashier at a small grocery store he frequents on a weekly basis. Always calm, smiles politely to every customer, and tends the same checkout stand every time.

Every other week-night. From six to midnight. Like clockwork.

Levi’s newfound muse is exactly what he needs as a source of inspiration.

It just so happens that he’s conveniently run out of a few basic necessities, prompting a trip to the grocery store on an unseasonably warm Thursday night.

Before long, he’s face to face with her, setting his gathered items on the counter in a meticulously neat array.

As Mikasa begins ringing up his purchase, she can’t help but engage in harmless conversation.

“That’s… a lot of cleaning supplies.” She suppresses a small chuckle, swiping the items along the scanner to a steady rhythm of beeps.

Levi, the ultimate clean-freak, feels no shame in what he considers a redeemable quality. He also seeks to use the situation as a means for something a bit more meaningful.

“My roommates,” he explains, “can be a handful.” That’s one way to put it.

“I can definitely relate,” Mikasa drawls, nodding her head. “Take on most of the responsibilities, right?”

“For the most part,” Levi replies. “They might be terrible roommates, but I can’t exactly get rid of ‘em.”

Still ringing up the last of the items, Mikasa coyly turns her gaze directly his way. “Some sort of obligation?”

Levi lists off the generalities of his living situation. “Longtime friends, band-mates…”

To his surprise, Mikasa pauses and expresses interest in pursuing the matter. “Band, huh?” A hard-to-read smile perches on her lips. “Is it more of a hobby? Like a side thing?”

He’s used to these kinds of questions, therefore he’s more than willing to answer. “Started out as a hobby, until we started booking gigs and performing here and there.”

“Seems as though you like it enough.”

“The extra money is nice, especially when it’s for something I enjoy doing.” Levi pulls out his wallet, preparing to pay for the cleaning haul. “Some venues are better than others. Some crowds are tougher than others. It’s hit and miss sometimes.”

Upon finishing bagging up the items, Mikasa briefly changes the subject, reverting back to the task at hand. “I might’ve asked you last time you were here, but any chance you’re interested in signing up for our new rewards program?”

Levi knows it’s a part of her job to ask every customer. Hell, the manager probably keeps tabs on which employee has signed up the most people per shift. He himself once worked in retail, so he can relate to working in an environment where employees are pressured to fulfill such menial assignments.

Either way, he’s still reluctant. “What would that entail?”

Utilizing her charismatic skills to their full potential, Mikasa makes an effort to reassure any concerns. “It’s free to sign up. All we need is an email and phone number.” Aligning her gaze with the mountain of cleaning products, she quickly adds, “And given that you’re here every week to stock up for the apocalypse, I think you’d benefit from it.”

Levi ultimately relents. “Well when you put it that way, it sounds reasonable.” A smirk creeps along the corner of his mouth as he begins filling out a sign-up sheet. “I thought maybe you were just playing it cool, trying to get my phone number.”

His attempt at flirting certainly hasn’t gone unnoticed and Mikasa finds it impossible to suppress the surge of red rising to her cheeks.

“Just… doing my job,” is all she can manage.

Thank god it’s a slow night and there’s no one else in line behind him, or this might have been a thousand times weirder. She accepts both the small slip of paper and his form of payment, finalizing the transaction in one fell swoop.

“Have a good night,” she says, handing him his receipt.

Levi, assuming that’s the end of it, nods and moves to grab the plastic bags full of his purchases, thanking her before turning away. Suddenly, and so unexpectedly, Mikasa’s voice pipes up and momentarily stops him from leaving the checkout stand.

“You should let me know when your next gig is,” she states casually. “I’d love to hear you play some time.”

Levi wasn’t sure what he had done to have been rewarded this many 'good karma’ points, but he accepts his lucky break nonetheless. Keeping his tone as casual as hers, he responds with, “Well now that you have my number, maybe you should call me when you’re free.”

Mikasa contemplates his sly remark, shaking her head. “I have a better idea.” She pulls out a pen and small piece of paper, using the counter as a flat surface while she scribbles something down. Once she’s finished, she extends it towards Levi, encouraging him to take it.

Levi gladly accepts, and discovers the contents of the pocket-size note feature her phone number.

“How about you call me when you get the chance?” Mikasa’s clever witticisms are yet another reason Levi is convinced his taste in women is anything but questionable.

He keeps a firm grasp on the slip of paper, as though it’s a prize-winning lotto ticket. “I will.”

And he certainly does.

Levi doesn’t get nervous.

He and his band-mates have performed enough times to get a feel for what the crowd likes and wants to hear. The venues are usually small, local, and full of college-age spectators. The stages rarely ever differ, offering the bare minimum amount of lighting above a sturdy wooden platform.

It’s not the first time he’s performed at this bar in particular. By now, he’s familiar with the amiable staff and finally on a first-name basis with management. Levi and co are a crowd favorite at the popular Colossal Bar, having won the hearts of the locale’s regulars which in turn generates an influx of business for the establishment. It’s a win-win for all parties involved.

There must have been roughly a hundred people in the joint but just as Levi was set to perform his second song, a loose rendition of ‘When You Were Young’ by The Killers, his gaze falls upon a sight that seems unfathomably surreal.

Mikasa is standing in the center of the crowd, a faint smile adorning her face. With one hand occupied, holding her drink of choice, she raises the other and waves.

Levi still doesn’t get nervous. It only fuels his desire to perform his best.

Amid the vast sea of unfamiliar faces, some more sober than others, some more enthused than others, some even singing along, Levi only wants to look at her.

Halfway through the song, the energy of the crowd seems to magnify, with someone in the back whistling loud enough to be heard over the intensity streaming from finely tuned guitars and drums.

Cheers follow shortly after the well-received rendition comes to an end, transitioning to a brief interlude as the band prepares to end the performance with their last song for the evening. This time it’s an original, not a cover.

Levi’s foot taps against the floorboards to the opening of the song; the song he wrote after seeing Mikasa for the first time. Granted, she doesn’t know that…

See it on the people’s faces everywhere

Black ‘n blue but they won’t throw the towel in

And let go of a dream

Man, woman, child, prepare to bleed

The band had initially been weary of the how the audience would react to their original piece, but the reassurance comes flooding in as soon as hoots and hollers from the crowd adorn their ears in tandem with the palpable beat and lyrics.

Levi keeps a level head through and through, eyes still locked on Mikasa, seemingly holding an intense staring contest with the raven-haired beauty that blocks everything else out.

Do you believe that we can conquer this?

Can’t delete all the mess that I have seen

Fall in the fire but these burns will heal you

The array of lights overhead flicker as Levi backs away from the mic. At long last, they complete yet another successful gig. A round of applause echoes from every corner of the establishment, indicating the patrons are more than just satisfied with the evening’s performance. He and his band accept the riotous praise hailing from newfound fans of their music, waving to the plethora of enthusiasts.

Bidding his mates farewell, Levi hops off stage and scrambles among a few tipsy spectators in search of one particularly lovely guest.

Several girls are ogling him from every angle, to which Levi is hopelessly oblivious. Completely uninterested in their advances, Levi finally spots Mikasa at the bar and pulls up a seat in the stool right next to hers.

She’s the first one to speak, greeting the arrival of the band’s front man.

“Seems to me you underestimate yourself, Levi,” she mutters, taking a sip of her gin and tonic.

“How so?” he asks, curiosity brewing.

She blinks lazily, resting her elbows on the counter. “When you told me you were in a band, you failed to mention you guys were actually really good.”

Levi’s glad he doesn’t give her the impression he’s a cocky asshole. He hates cocky assholes who talk up a big game, finding it beyond amusing when their pride and inflated egos are their ultimate downfall.

He accepts the compliment without getting ahead of himself. “’Good’ is a subjective term, but I appreciate it.” He orders a drink and while waiting for the bartender to devise the concoction, he carries on with the conversation. “I’m really glad you came out tonight.”

“That makes two of us,” Mikasa replies, studying him with intoxicating bluish greys.

The bartender sets Levi’s whiskey and coke on a coaster, to which he’s quick to take a hearty swig. The alcohol helps take the edge off, though he’s not much of a drinker and is enjoying the social interaction regardless. He’s about to say something when Mikasa nudges him gently on the shoulder.

“Don’t look now,” she mumbles, “but I think you have a fan.“

Levi only scoffs at that. “Oh yeah?”

“A few tables behind you. Toward the back.” Mikasa chuckles. “She’s been checking you out this whole time.”

Levi doesn’t heed her initial advice and looks over his shoulder to pinpoint this interested fan of his.

Bingo.

Copper colored hair. Large hazel-brown doe eyes. Possible candidate for a one-night stand.

‘Doe eyes’ winks at him, the look on her face begging him to join her and her circle of friends for some chit-chat.

Levi instantly looks away, leaving Mikasa equal parts confused and intrigued.

“She’s cute,” she hums.

“She’s not my type,” Levi affirms. “Besides, I’m right where I want to be.”

Levi and Mikasa eventually make their way to the back of the room, loosening up on a couple of beige lounge chairs as the alcohol only mildly kicks in. There’s about an hour left until closing, most of the noise dying down as the evening fades into the deathly early hours of the morning. A few winks from interested college girls still dart his direction, but right now he’s only focused on the way Mikasa perks her lips every time she’s about to say something. He can’t be half-assed to care what happened to 'doe eyes’ or his band-mates, not while he has Mikasa in front of him.

He learns that she’s not from the area. That she was adopted at the age of three and grew up in a small town a few hours away. Aside from working at the grocery store, she’s a full-time college student, majoring in criminal justice.

Levi on the other hand, admits he’s never really been anywhere else. Small town guy hailing from humble beginnings, content with how his life is turning out.

“Maybe that’ll change,” Mikasa insinuates. “One day when you make it big, you’ll be able to go to all sorts of places.”

Levi huffs at that. “’Make it big?’” He sounds disdainful, as if musicians who only strive for fame and fortune aren’t true musicians at all. He vowed never to be a sell-out long before setting foot on-stage. “Not sure that’s the direction I want to take my career.”

Mikasa half-smiles. “Like I told you. You underestimate yourself.”

“I don’t know,” Levi shrugs. “I think I would grow to hate that kind of lifestyle fairly quickly.” Always on the road, lots of airports and hotels, lots of loud obnoxious people. The exact kind of shit he can’t stand.

Mikasa has always been a realist, so she understands where he’s coming from, but that doesn’t stop her from offering her own perspective. “That’s one way to look at it,” she begins, “but what about the message you’re trying to send? What about the people who look up to you? Your music is more than just an artistic way of expressing yourself. It could inspire the hearts of thousands, bring them all together, and make this messed up world just a tiny bit better.”

You could use your voice for so much more…

Levi blinks a few times, almost at a loss for words until he finally manages to think of how to respond to that. “Forget criminal justice, you should look into becoming a motivational speaker or something.”

“You have to accentuate the positive in life sometimes.”

“That’s funny.” Levi rubs his chin in thought. “I’ve definitely heard that somewhere.”

“You probably have.”

Levi smirks, contemplating his next move when his eyes wander to a mark on her wrist. It’s dark, a couple inches long, and vaguely resembles some sort of symbol. Without hesitation, he bluntly asks about it, the thought of whether or not it’s an inappropriate question never crossing his mind.

“Is there a story behind that scar on your wrist?”

Mikasa merely shakes her head, unmoved by the sudden query. “Only a relatively boring one.”

She leans closer to where he’s sitting, extending her arm and allowing for him to trace along the small indentation. “It’s a… family thing,” she says, breaking the intermittent silence.

His fingers continue lightly tracing along its short length, smooth to the touch. Funny how he’s never noticed it before.

Strange, he thinks to himself. Now he ponders the possibility of penning a song about it.

“So,” Mikasa whispers, drawing him out of his momentary daze, “when you do make it big, are you going to write a song about me?”

Okay, now she’s flirting. Teasing him rather with such irresistible charm ringing in her voice.

Levi realizes he hasn’t let go of her hand yet, and regardless if it’s the buzz or just his attraction to her, he’s not sure he wants to.

He suppresses another smirk. That’s right. She doesn’t know; that he’s written a few songs about her already.

But he doesn’t tell her that. He chooses to keep that to himself, replying in a low quiet voice.

“Maybe,” he finally mumbles, looking up at her, his gaze landing on the scar below her eye. He’s noticed this one in particular on a few occasions. It grazes just above the cheek, resting beneath dark lashes and wisps of jet-black hair. He’s unsure if he should ask about its origins, but something about the way she’s looking at him with seemingly innocent curiosity urges him to fulfill his desire to get to know more about her.

Levi ignores the tension growing tighter and tighter throughout his body, realizing no one has ever made him feel this way. He struggles trying to put it into words, frustrated that he can’t properly articulate the sensation raging beneath his calm demeanor.

“What about… this one?” he asks, reaching out to stroke the scar nestled below her eye.

Mikasa slightly shudders, but surprisingly doesn’t pull away. She lets his hand hover over the scar, his fingers tracing gently along as he had with the mark on her wrist.

She could cop it out to them being alone, secluded in a corner with dangerously low lighting. She could blame it on the alcohol, mere tipsy antics.

But she’s not naïve.

“Story for another day,” comes her response in a smooth, sultry voice.

Levi nods, understanding.

He wants to kiss her. He’s never been more hell-bent on kissing someone in his entire life, but he likes to think he has some semblance of self-control and patience; unlike his rowdy band-mates.

Then, to his ultimate demise, she does something that drives him absolutely crazy.

She bites her lip, as if in suspense, and he pretty much loses it.

He closes the already tight gap between them and presses his mouth against hers, indulging in the incredible warmth. She responds almost immediately by parting her lips, inviting his tongue to slide inside. She tastes like lime, and something unidentifiably sweet. It spurs him to pull her in closer, sliding his hand up to her jaw, cupping her face in his palm.

Somehow he feels dizzier, and her wandering hands and the way she bites his bottom lip playfully further intensify this heated lip lock.

They’re still kissing like long lost lovers when the clock strikes two in the morning. Patrons start to file out through the exit one by one. The bartender begins wiping down the counters. The remaining staff members commence the usual closing routine.

Mikasa pulls away, playfully chastising the both of them for staying out well past their bedtimes. “Can’t believe I’ve been here all night,” she sighs. It’s almost a gasp, though she doesn’t appear too shocked.

“Got a curfew?” Levi deadpans, eyelids heavy. He finds it amusing that she’s more concerned over something as trivial as the hour rather than drunkenly kissing someone she barely knows.

Although during their heavy makeout session, it honest to god really felt like he had known her forever.

Mikasa rolls her eyes. “No, I’m just never usually out this late, is all.”

“Ahhh.” Levi exhales, expecting her to bid him goodnight and promptly ditch his ass without further ado.

He’s taken aback when she grabs him by the hand and begins hauling away for the exit.

What was she thinking about? What was she planning? Levi has a guess, but decides not to assume anything just yet. They awkwardly stumble out onto the street and Mikasa makes an attempt to hail a cab right there off the main drag.

“What’s on your mind?” He feigns uncertainty.

“I was kind of thinking I wanted to take you to-go,” she replies softly but oh-so-sure of herself. “Unless you had other plans…”

Levi merely nods his head, the words straining to dispel from his mouth, only to be suppressed by the tender look in her eye. The lights of cars zooming by hone in on the enticingly dark and mysterious features sheathed within.

Ultimately, he wordlessly agrees to follow, figuring nothing else needs to be said.

Wouldn’t want to keep her waiting.

Years later…

When Levi does make it big, he seems to be the only one out of his small circle of friends that’s surprised. Many were certain it was his calling; that catching a lucky break and garnering all the fame and recognition had been predestined.

From his own perspective, however, he’s simply doing what he loves, and insists on keeping himself grounded.

Maintaining a low profile is nearly impossible for the musician especially with the recent release of a new album, spawning a surge in popularity among fans from coast to coast. People stop and fawn all over him when he’s just trying to take his dog out for a walk, or when he’s making a coffee run in the early mornings before recording at the studio.

He hates it. He really does.

But like someone once told him, he uses his voice for more than just the purpose of entertainment. He advocates for causes he has strong beliefs in and vocalizes support for various organizations that strive for the betterment of society as a whole. It’s one of the few things that keep him sane, convincing him the fame isn’t a total nightmare. Sure, it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be, but he’s grateful the opportunity to help make a difference is there.

A blinding flash jolts his senses back to the present. Today marks the first day of his nation-wide tour, commencing the long trek from home over a span of three months.

As he’s done far more times than he can count, Levi steps up to the microphone, other band members setting up behind him. Unlike the small suffocating venues from before, he’s standing on a giant outdoor stage, unmoved by the masses of screaming people shouting their praises in anticipation for the upcoming concert.

The crowd’s ready, but he’s still getting in the moment, the wild ruckus blurring into low distant hums.

Before he gives the nod to his fellow mates, Levi takes a moment to let out a deep breath, eyes roaming about the entire stadium.

It’s another giant sea of faces; people with names he’ll never know, with lives he’ll never learn about.

He’s taken back to that fateful night at the Colossal Bar. The night Mikasa came to watch him for the first time.

He’s disappointed that her face isn’t among those in the crowd like it was then. None of this would have been possible without her; it’s all meaningless to him otherwise. He glances down at the silver wedding band fitted on his left ring finger, thinking a part of her is still with him even when he’s away on tour.

A half-smile fades as quickly as it appears. He’s ready for the long night ahead of him.

Mikasa, his beautiful muse, his best friend, his wife, might not be there to watch him and his band perform all the heartfelt and deep songs he’s written about her all these years, but he’s immensely satisfied to know that she’ll be there when he finally comes home, waiting for him like she always does.

It’s the only thing that matters.

[courtsofstarlight]

20 Question Book Tag

Thank you @a-court-of-pain-and-night for tagging me again

1. What is your favourite book? Anything Sarah J Mass 👑 2. What is a book that made you cry? Reasons to breathe by Rebecca Donovan made me absolutely ball my eyes out. I’ve lost several pairs of contacts from that book. 3. What is the most expensive book you bought? My Veterinary medicine textbooks.. $200+ 😅 4. What is the longest series you have read? Uhhhhhhh well hard to say but I think when I was in middle school I read maximum ride by James Patterson and that is about 9 books. 5. What is the shortest book you have ever read (that you can remember)? I don’t really like to read short books because I read so fast 😂 but I had to read of mice and men in highschool so probably that one. 6. Have you read a book that is set in the same country/city you were born in? If yes, what is it? Nope my butt was born in San Clemente, California 🌞 7. Have you read a book that is set in the country/city you currently live in? If yes, what is it? Nopeee still live in Cali and I’ve never read a book based in Cali😋 8. How many books do you own? Well I have about 60 or so in my room (those are my special don’t touch books)then we have a computer room and the walls are covered in books which I wouldn’t be able to count😂 there’s hella shelves( I call it my Minnie library) just today I got 41 books😂 9. What genre do you stay away from at all costs? Politics, not my cup o tea 10. What is your favourite genre? Fantasy or romance, or a little mix of both 11. Have you ever read poetry? If yes, what was your favourite poem? Yes, love anything Edgar Alan Poe 12. Do you like Shakespeare? If yes, what is your favourite play of his? Yesss, midnights summer dream af 13. What book / book series do you hate/dislike, but everyone else seems to like? Anything John green. I was never able to get into those books sorry not sorry 14. What book / book series do you love/like, but everyone else seems to hate? Uhhhhhh I don’t think I can think of a book. Oops 16. What was the last book you bought? I just bought 41 books today soooo😂 but I think the last one to check out was a book full of my favorite artist Van Gogh work 17. What was the first book you bought with your own money? I couldn’t tell ya😂 18. What was the most poorly-written book you ever read? Mmmm probably like Vampire Academy. I really didn’t like the authors writing. 19. What is a book that you own and feel guilty for not reading? Probably insurgent, I started the series and never finished lol 20. Have you ever read a book not in your native language? I have read some Spanish books but that’s because I had to for my class 😂 I didn’t enjoy it. Does that count?

I’ll tagggg some other recent followers 😋 @pily2700 @introvertedbibliophilic @mary-hirzel @throneofstormsandshadows @squishbookworm

[greatplanettahoe]

Japan Log Day 1

I kind of want to create a log of my time in Japan. I think it’d be fun, and from what I’ve heard, I’d be able to remember my trip better! There may be a day delay for me, at least for day one because that was all flying and lemme tell you, after a 13 hour flight, a 3 hour flight felt like NOTHING, haha. I felt like I played on my DS for a half hour and it was over. So, I don’t know when entirely I’ll post these, or if anyone cares, but I don’t. Because it’ll be fun for me to look back on and remember ;)

Day one - The day of insane travel

Our journey began as most other journeys do, of sitting at home, counting away the hours and having panicked thoughts of what you still need to do and what’s been done. My way of coping was to blast music - sorry Tegan - and stare blankly at a wall. Not productive when packing was half done. Luckily, I got everything ready about an hour before my friend came to pick me up. About ten minutes before, I began to stress clean. I guess that’s exciting? Lilia’s parents graciously took us to Vancouver In'tl Airport (YVR)- Canada. The car ride felt short. Shorter than I thought it was to get to the border. Right before we hit, we got to see the tiny little peace arch. Cool! Going in, the border guard is looking over our passports, doing the routine questions. 

Then, he leans in and goes “Alauna?” and I sheepishly correct him as he clearly wasn’t quite sure how to pronounce my name. He informs me that I need to sign my passport and I need to do that before I check in at the airport otherwise they may not let me fly. OOPS! Luckily Lil’s dad had a pen that I could use otherwise I’d have to hunt for somewhere to sell a pen at the airport at MIDNIGHT! Getting into the country, I receive a text from my mobile provider. CONGRATS! T-Mobile works in Canada text/data free, call 20c/min. Neat! 

After a pretty good wait in line - China Eastern is apparently a very popular company - and chatting with the nice lady in front of us we reach the airline official. Neither of our passports scanned into the computer. Probably because Lilia’s is 9 years old, mine’s 1 month. He was very kind, making sure that we knew our layover was between two different airports in Shanghai (more on that later, ugh) and asked us if we had any illegal items to which we both said no. He smiled and said “I trust you two, you both look very trustworthy”. He then noticed that we were seated at least 10 rows away from each other. With our permission he changed our seats to be together. Once he got our tickets, he pointed out what information we needed to know. Lilia got seat C, he was going to be in seat B, I in A …. wait. There is no seat B! :P With a very heartfelt thank you, we asked where the gates were and said our farewell.

Getting up to security, was a very small line with a long wait. It looked like the officer’s battery had died on his scanner and had to get a new one. Oh well. After that, it took about 2 seconds to make sure our tickets were valid - phew! and go onto phase two with the bag screening. They instructed us to put laptops in a separate tray. Confusedly, I ask the man why. He mentioned because laptops could be bombs. Which, I never thought about and by the look on my face, he must have understood and had a small smile as we thanked him. Lilia got through security fine. The metal detector beeped for me. Contrats, I’m wearing a bra, because that was literally why the detector beeped for me. Past that, we walked through a small mall with a bunch of stores, and very glittery flooring. Our gate was easy to find, and had a subway near us. We just got chips and ginger ale as we both weren’t feeling fantastic.

There’s not much meant to be said for the flight. Although, as it took off, Lilia looked at me and said; “I regret every jet I crashed in GTA 5” 

It was nearly 13 hours and insane. Neither of us slept much, which sucked. But, at least it was quiet as pretty much everyone else did sleep. Except for one guy in the row beside us whose entertainment screen wouldn’t turn off and he was trying to sleep so he had his jacket backwards to cover his face LOL. I did kind of feel bad for him since it was legitimately malfunctioning. Their movie selection was pretty bomb. Lilia and I synced up our screens so we watched Furious 7 together. The airline provided us dinner. I accidentally got shrimp noodles, which thank you that my medicine works, and Lilia got some sort of beef patty and rice. There was also some sort of custard that was similar to cheesecake, but not entirely. It was delicious. We both tried to sleep for a while. Gave up. We got breakfast which was two adorable hash-brown patties, an omelette, and a very undercooked, disease sausage link which neither of us touched. At that point, Lilia started up Day After Tomorrow, and I started Secret Life of Pets … which got interrupted a total of a billion times. I managed to finish SLoP right before they cut off entertainment for landing purposes.

The drive after landing and getting to our gate was probably half the time of our flight. We get another text from T-Mobile. Welcome to China! Your phone has free texting, call 20c/min, and 2g unlimited data! AWESOME!

Immigration was easy, whom also informed us that our connecting flight was in a separate airport, security was easy (they have thermal screening, so that was definitely interesting!), and getting our luggage was SUPER easy. Customs, we had nothing to declare so went through that line no prob, and exited the airport into a throng of people all shouting ‘taxi!’. One guy dogged us for a long time and we eventually rolled with him as the bus to take us to Honquaio was in another hour and we only had four before our other flight. Driving in Shanghai is terrifying. Our driver nearly creamed 2 people on mopeds, and almost hit countless other cars. I never want to drive in Shanghai. As nice as the city was, there was no telltale building style, and all the buildings were insane colors. I saw an apartment complex that was hot pink. OK. We arrive at the airport, to where the cabby swindled us out of a little more money than what we agreed on, but both of us were tired and didn’t care at that point. The line in this airport was about two times longer than YVR, but went quickly enough. Again, getting to our gate was super easy, and we had about an hour of downtime before boarding.

Second flight felt way too short, and they provided us with spaghetti and another of those delicious cluster squares! Hell yeah. I think I played my DS for the entire time, but it was hard to tell since the flight felt super short.

Getting into Japan, immigration was NUTS. The line was insanely long, although it went quickly. Got fingerprinted so if I crime in Japan, they’ll know it was me. Shucks. Too bad I wasn’t planning on anything anyways. We both had our first experience with a Japanese western toilet which I’m now convinced they all have bidets since our hotel toilet has one too. FYI, the seats are very warm when you sit on them, and the one in the airport played gentle music to mask the fact that I had the best racehorse pee in the universe. Sorry, TMI? We get ANOTHER text from T-mobile. HOORAY! Your phone works! Free text, 20c/min call, 2g unlimited data! WHAT?! I wasted $40 on SIM cards before we left, and now we don’t need them! Oh well, lol.

Hitting up the international ATM, my card was declined. WHAT!? I had called my bank, so they should know I’m here! I managed to get the attention of an airport lady who graciously tried helping, but it declined for her too. Lilia was able to get out some cash. What the heck?! We asked the airport lady where the Keikyu line was and if Pasmo was over there, and she instructed us what to do. We thanked her for her time and assistance. Meanwhile, there was another American having the same problem as I. I noticed his card had a chip. Lilia’s didn’t. Ding ding, it’s the chip. We got sodas and some Japanese candy and a fruit cup, got Pasmo’s and went to the station towards Kawasaki - after a little help as we didn’t see our stop. 

The train wasn’t too terribly crowded. But, went approximately the speed of a fighter jet. My shoulder and back is still sore for hanging on for dear life while making sure my luggage didn’t go anywhere. There was a lady I kept bumping into and I kept apologizing whenever I did though she just smiled and told me it was OK. There was also a nice man there who watched us to make sure we were OK and whenever another train passed us, make a slight thunking noise, probably had a great internal laugh at my face whenever I had a slight panic about it.

Getting off the station and heading down some steps, there are apparently designated sides which you move. We went down halfway the wrong way, realized, and moved over with our luggage. Sorry! Walking here is definitely interesting. There’s people crossing the streets, not even really looking. I think we saw 1 personal car on our walk to the hotel.

Getting into Noanoa was easy. Manager was SUPER nice, got our luggage taken to the room, and let us stay in the spa room while we waited the last hour before the official check-in time. While there, Lilia opened up her fruit cup, which has jello instead of juice, and I had my candies which were DELICIOUS, and apparently limited time, so guess what I’m buying more of once I get cash? Because Japan is a very cash-heavy type of country.

Our hotel room is a little small, but nothing we can’t handle. I’m sure Lilia feels weird actually being on par or taller than most the people we’ve passed walking to the hotel. We spent half the day exploring the tiny room, seeing what was on TV and being very confused over a child’s show before turning it off. We figured out google translate, and have translated pretty much everything in our room. We still need to figure out the unit on the wall, but we at least know lighting, what the controls are on the bidet, and how to work the mechanical nightmare that is the shower. We put on a Youtube show that we both like, and I crashed just before 7PM after roughly 24 hours of travel and not sleeping. Lilia poked me awake and we officially went to bed around 7PM. 

We have not eaten since at least noon on the flight, and it’s going on 14 hours. Yeesh.

Our plans today, as I’m finishing this up around 2PM, is to visit an actual bank so I can hopefully withdraw cash, find somewhere to eat, and hit up a couple parks and museums. There’s also the Keihin Fushimi Inari shine that we’ll probably explore. Today is slotted to be a low-key day as we’re both pretty tired even after sleeping for a solid 12+ hours.

Note: Edited for easier reading

[sailingbrisa]

Shelter Bay and the Panama Canal

We arrived in Shelter Bay Marina on Friday … sent an email to the Eric the agent who would help us get through the canal and did our Customs clearance and immigration after a taxi and ferry ride into Colon. Easy and friendly… wouldn’t say fast though. We had to wait until Wednesday to be measured and spent our time exploring the jungles around Shelter Bay, swimming in the pool and meeting fellow cruisers from all over the world on their way to many different destinations. Significantly for me.. most of the people here were a different type of cruiser to what I was used to. Mostly the St. Martin cruisers are used to sailing around the Caribbean, always fairly close to land and a bar. In panama they cruisers were more exploration oriented and had stories of great remote little anchorages all over Central America. Elwin and Ross went for a mega hike… I think in all about 18km round trip in brutal heat and humidity, out to the old fort. Lots of cool animals and good memories.

 We finally had everything we needed so we packed up and shipped out for a 132 nmovernight hop to Boccas Del Torro. A surf/ party destination. We arrived, had a Red Bull and went for a walk around. There were a lot of hostels and Europeans and commercialization, so we zoomed across to one of the nearby islands and explored the mangroves. We were hoping to see lots of dolphin, but we were only welcomed in and out of the main channel and didn’t see any others. We decided to pull anchor and head off to Bluefields Lagoon… supposedly a beautiful anchorage filled with fish and fairly remote. It got its name from a Dutch Pirate… so Elwin was happy. WE went snorkeling and climbing around a big gannet hatchery.. loads of fish everywhere and beautiful warm water.. Almost too warm I think! We got back to Brisa and ross had managed to get 6 lobster for 7 dollars… good size ones too so we got stuck into barbeque lobster with garlic butter off of the grill. LOVING IT! The bay was beautiful and we enjoyed watching the local school kids in uniforms so white it hurt to look at paddling across the bay in their little traditional dugouts. They would all stop by to say hi and get some candy from us! I gave one of the bigger kids who was learning English a book about Babara Kendals windsurfing history…. He didn’t believe I knew her, but said he would take it to his school for the English library… now apparently they had 12 books in English! He was very excited.. so Babara.. if you ever wash up in Bluefields I imagine the kids will now who you are. J We anchored very close to a little fishing village in deep water. That night we had a flashlight on the ladder… but crazy jumping fish hit it and knocked it off the boat and it sank to the bottom in 50 feet of water, leaving just a faint glow. As we were right beside some mangroves and had heard of big crocodile stories… I wasn’t about to go in there and get it.. but came up with a plan to use one of our sinking lures to hook the string on the light. I was sitting there for about half an hour bouncing the jig of the bottom and I had only caught a couple of plastic bags, when all of a sudden there was the unmistakable strike of a big heavy fish… I handed Elwin the rod and he pulled … but nothing moved. I think we hooked a big ray or Nurse shark.. because it wasn’t even noticing it had been hooked. Sadly we snapped the end off the rod trying to get it up to unhook it… and then the line broke too…. Needless to say I didn’t go down there to get the light……

 We pulled up the anchor and motored off to Isla Escudo DE Veraguas…. A little island about 25 miles off of the Panamanian Coast. 5 hours later we anchored in a spectacular little island. Beautiful sand beaches, awesome little islands and caves and bays, potential for surf.. but we didn’t manage to time the swell well. We brought more lobster and went exploring the island.. snorkeling incredible reefs filled with fish and lobster, touched nurse sharks… and napped in the evening. The next day was my birthday and we spent it eating lobster, snorkeling and windsurfing on the JP convertible stand up board as there was only light wind. Elwin was a pro after his first couple of hours of trying. I received a great hammock, a thermos to keep my water cold and my midnight watch coffee hot and a great mug from the boys! Awesome gifts. I have to say I enjoyed the day there very very much with a great crew doing exactly what I had always dreamed of doing with Brisa.

 We sadly left the little island.. but knowing we would soon be crossing Central America in the Panama Canal started to sink in and as we motored ( yeah that’s all we do these days as there is almost no wind anywhere here ) back towards Shelter Bay I told Brisa to enjoy her last few days in the Caribbean salt and to get ready to explore a new ocean.

 Now I wish I could say the trip back up was routine… but this time of year in the tropics we have massive land mass thunderstorms.. slow moving very active and covering between 6 and 10 miles. Darkness really makes these monsters impressive as you can see the forks of lightening very clearly and they were slowly getting closer and closer. WE were about 20 miles out to sea but the closer we came to the marina the less distance there was between the storms and the coast .. leaving us about 2 miles offshore in the middle of a big thunderstorm… luckily we made it through with no damage and popped out the other side and made out entry into the breakwater by the canal just as the storm we just went through came back and got us again. It was now about 130am… puring rain and I was driving around using the radar to know where I was… I found a big ship and went over beside it figuring if the lightening came this way it would hit that big boat before Brisa…great idea until Ross comes up and asks me why we are sitting bobbing around in the thunderstorm by an LPG tanker… lol. Zoom off we go and arrive in the tiny entrance to shelter bay with about 500 yards visibility and lightening everywhere. The dockmaster standing there at 3am flashlight and radio in hand smiling at us form under his raincoat. Thanks Dockmaster Frank! You rule. We tied up.. I took a shower under the rain and curled up in bed about 430 am after a loooong day. The highlight apart from making it in one piece was just after dinner… literally as I Said “ Ross thanks great meal! Now all we need is to get lucky before sunset.. “ at that very second the reel took off and we hooked a great little spearfish… basically a marlin with a little nose. Thirty minutes later he was by the boat, we gave him a little slack in the line, the hook fell out and I didn’t have to wrestle any angry pointy nosed fish again! Ross had requested to catch a marlin on the trip so we ticked that off the list! I think for Elwin he was pretty damn happy with having enough lobster that he could throw one in with his ramen noodles…J For me the highlight was the night thunderstorms and dodging them .. and making it into Shelter Bay marina in the middle of it all. Great fun.

 The next day we spent getting ready for the Panama Canal crossing. Checking the engines, receiving the buoys and long ropes we would need for the locks… 3 up +100’ and 3 down – 100’ and about 37 miles of motoring through the canals with all the big ships. And about 5 pm we motored across the canal and anchored at the flats anchorage awaiting our advisor to arrive between 4 and 5 am the following day. Debbie and Bob were also onboard as our line handlers. I went up[ the mast to see why the anchor light wasn’t working and basically the wiring fell apart in my hands… oops .. maybe I should of waited until we got through the canala to “fix” that eh? I spent a very rolly hour and a half up there fixing the little wires back together and … voila problem not solved. Still no anchor light. So we had a look the next day in the control box in the anchor locker, joined a broken wire and voila problem fixed.

 The advisor didn’t show up until about 1pm.. and with him onboard we followed a big ship up the canal and said our goodbyes to the Caribbean as we passed the construction of the new Panama Canal bridge and entered our first lock. We were with a big boat, a tug and a beautiful sailboat called Altos. WE tied up beside them and uneventfully passed through the three locks. We had to tie up to a mooring ball for the night in the Gatun Lake and as the sunset we spotted some manatees playing close to the boat, got some great photos and had a few Balboa beers as a reward for leaving the Caribbean. Brisa sitting 100’ above sea level in a fresh water man made lake!

 The next day at 745 our next advisor showed up and off we went across the Gatun lake.. about 26 miles from start to the next lock… it was beautiful scenery, cool to see the huge new panama boats and be up close and personal with all the commercial traffic… but Brisa didn’t skip a beat. N fact since we left she has been nothing short of exceptional. We showed up at the next locks a little early so tied up to another bouy for about an hour waiting for the other ships we would go down the next locks with. We went in first, the dockhands threw us little lines on monkey fists and then pulled back out lines. As we would go through three locks, each about 30 feet down, we would need to pay out line evenly on all four corners to keep the boat straight. The three locks went by without incident and we pootled out into the PACIFIC! Brisa motoring under the bridge of the Americas and we took a mooring ball in front of the Balboa Yacht Club, went to TGIF and had some food and beer and then back to Brisa for a good sleep.

 Bob and Debbie were a bit sad as they knew this was possibly the last time we would see each other for a while… but like all sailors.. they knew it wasn’t the last time. We really had a lot of fun going through the canal.. and it was an amazing feeling to see Brisa floating there with the Panama canal behind us and the Pacific Ocean calling her name. I guess that is one right of passage for every sailor, but not every boat.

 The next day we went to Casco Viejo to take care of some paperwork with the rental of my little apartment there. We all stopped into the Red Bull office to say hi to everyone. Was great to see the guys and girls again!

 Next we picked up some parts that had been ordered and went to the fishing shop to get a couple of our reels that were there being repaired, brought Elwin some flippers, a three prong spear gun and a replacement fishing rod for the one we broke in Bluefields. Heheheh. Great fun.

 That afternoon refueled and relocated to the other side of the Amador Causeway. Interestingly the Marina wanted to charge us 21. Usd to park our dingy while we brought supplies and had dinner at their restaurant and shops….. ??? Huh? Incredible. So we told them we didn’t like their attitude and off we went to climb up the rocks and go get some supplies. Red Bull, beer, bread and coffee. The next day Ross and I zapped off to super 99 in the mall for some resupplying. WE had a great time there buying up everything we needed and an even more entertaining time while we watched the lady at the register try to work out how to use the Vale Panama food stamps that I had been keeping from my time working in Panama. Was pretty sad when even with a calculator the lady had to count 110 little $3 vale panama tickets 8 times to work out how much I had given her….. even with a calculator she couldn’t get that 10 x 3 = 30. It literally took us 40 minutes for her to sort that out and eventually the packing boy helped her count as obviously he had finished high school.

 Then we head outside and I wont take the little yellow taxis in Panama. They continuously try and rip you off and have shitty attitudes. So I walk out with Ross and the bagging guy form super 99 that can count, and dial up an Uber. At least 40 taxis stop while im there and ask if I need a ride and a big police man comes over and asks why im not getting in the taxi. I explain the shitty time ive had with Taxis and that id wait a week for an Uber before getting in the taxi and he gives me some shit about Uber not being legal. The Uber dirver shows up, the cop stops him and asks for all his papaers… lol. Everything legal and the cop calls his boss… who explains that it isn’t illegal and the cop lets us go, saying Ubers time is almost up in Panama. Jajjajaja. The driver was super cool and wished the officer a lovely day.

 We got back to the boat dropped off the food and I went for dingy gas while the boys organized the food. AS soon as I got back we started the engines and headed for Las Perlas Islands, showing up around 430pm and straight into glassy clean lefts and rights. Not so big, but just me and Elwin in the lineup. Lots of waves ridden before sunset. Very positive start to our surfing mission in the Pacific as the goal of it all is to surf un-crowded remote areas…. And this definitely was one of those.

 Today we got up early and went for a look around the island. Dragged the dingy up the beach a little and went for a twenty minute walk.. when we came back the dingy was 20 feet up the beach. Huge tides here are something that will take us a while to get used to. We surfed a little bigger waves this am, but the wind was a little onshore in front of a big thunderstorm, so we came back, had lunch and played gin while we waited for the lightening to stop! Now as the tide drops we are foaming for another glassy evening surf session!!!

[littleshopofreaders]

What inspired you to write your first book?

My first book was a collection of erotic short stories with various supernatural and fantasy themes, and I was inspired to write them after a friend gave me a Black Lace collection and I realized “WOW! You are allowed to write this sort of naughty stuff!”

The first book of this trilogy, Cover Him With Darkness, started life as a short story that appeared in Mitzi Szereto’s collection Red Velvet and Absinthe, and the publisher at Cleis loved it so much that she asked me to write what happened next.

Do you have a specific writing style?

Madeline Moore called me “hardcore and literate.” I love that!

How did you come up with the title of your current book?

“In Bonds of the Earth” is a quote from The Book of Enoch, which is an apocryphal BC text not included in most Bibles, but which is all about fallen angels: “And from henceforth you shall not ascend into heaven into all eternity, and in bonds of the earth the decree has gone forth, to bind you for all the days of the world.”

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

Right and wrong is not about following any set of laws, it’s founded on empathy.

How much of the book is realistic?

It’s a contemporary paranormal about fallen angels, but I put a LOT of effort into making the settings and details accurate. A big chunk is set in Ethiopia for example – so I went to Ethiopia for 20 days. The description of the rock-hewn churches is bang-on accurate…right up to the end of Chapter 9.

Are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

My real life is not that eventful, believe me!

What books have most influenced your life most?

“The Lord of the Rings.” I’m a geek; I started playing Dungeons and Dragons when I was thirteen. I think everything else has come out of that.

If you had to choose, which writer would you consider a mentor?

Angela Carter influenced my writing style and themes from the start.

What book are you reading now?

“The Tiger and the Wolf” by Adrian Tchaikovsky. It’s an excellent fantasy with a really unusual setting.

Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest?

Samantha McLeod and Sonni de Soto.

What are your current projects?

I’m writing the sequel to In Bonds of the Earth, and the final part of that trilogy: The Prison of the Angels.

Name one entity that you feel supported you outside of family members.

I’ve found the erotica writing community (which is mostly female btw) incredibly supportive, intelligent, and friendly.

Do you see writing as a career?

No – I see it as a vocation, and as my purpose in life.

If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?

I wish I’d made it clear that all fallen angels are left-handed. Too late now, lol.

Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?

I always wanted to write, I think.

Can you share a little of your current work in progress with us?

Egan came up behind me without a word and slipped his arms round my waist, kissing the top of my head, breathing the scent of my hair. Goddamnit; to cut him some slack, I’m fairly sure he didn’t know the effect that had on me– my insides were doing that flip-flop thing that hurt so good. “We need to talk,” he murmured. I knew it! Here it comes. Mr. Rationality. Mr. Consequences. My stomach tightened up like a knotted fist. They were so different, my two loves. Azazel was a creature of appetite and the moment, living for his desires—but Egan lived in the battlemented ivory tower of overthinking, fending off the armies of his libido. Only when he was undermined by illness or exhaustion or drink did he ever fall into recklessness. And me? I was much more like Azazel. I went with my gut instinct. None of this would have happened if that hadn’t been the case.

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

After 15+ years of writing erotica, the most challenging thing is writing orgasms without just repeating myself!

Who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work?

I have many favorite authors, all wildly different, but the one thing they all have in common is that they have their own creative vision and they don’t compromise it or write to a market formula.

Do you have to travel much concerning your book(s)?

I LOVE travelling, and use the places I’ve been to all over the world as settings or inspiration for many of my stories and novels – even ones set in imaginary worlds.

Who designed the covers?

The cover of In Bonds of the Earth is by Deranged Doctor Design and I’m delighted with it! The publisher and I put a LOT of discussion into getting something we’d be proud of. In fact, input into cover design was my first stipulation in my contract!

What was the hardest part of writing your book?

Writing the main antagonist/villain, in a way that makes it clear they’re awful, yet understandable.

Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?

Every time you think you know your characters, they suddenly reveal another layer of complexity.

Do you have any advice for other writers?

If you have an uncomfortable truth to tell about your protagonist, put it in the mouth of an antagonist.

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

Read critically. Don’t assume that everything a protagonist says is correct, or is projecting the author’s own opinion. We sometimes write characters that we think are getting it badly wrong.

What were the challenges (research, literary, psychological, and logistical) in bringing it to life?

I was brought up in a Christian (born-again Protestant) family but I’ve had to do a lot of research for this trilogy into other Christian theologies – Catholicism and Serbian Orthodoxy in particular, since my two main human characters belong to those traditions. There are surprising and significant differences that affect how they see the world.

Rapid Fire

Coffee – Tea: BOTH, IN STRICT TURN Boxer – Briefs: BRIEFS Jeans – Sweats: JEANS Silk – Cotton: COTTON iPhone-Galaxy: I DON’T OWN A SMARTPHONE! Rightie – Leftie : LEFTIE Soda-Water: TONIC Cake-Pie: CAKE Rock n roll – Country: ROCK Mountains – Beach: MOUNTAINS Cat -Dog: DOG

Favorite Movie: A Muppet Christmas Carol Favorite TV Show: Game of Thrones Favorite Car: Anything that can fit two greyhounds in the back Favorite Color: Midnight blue Favorite Male Film Star: Tom Hardy Favorite Female Film Star: Eva Green Favorite Fast Food: Chinese Favorite Cocktail: Mojito Favorite Musical Band: Rammstein Favorite Singer: Freddie Stevenson Favorite Song: “Solsbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel

Excerpt from In Bonds of the Earth:

Wrapping the cheap cotton throw from the foot of the bed around my bare body, I padded through to the doorway. The Archangel Michael stood in the middle of my small apartment, looking about him at the book shelves and the pictures. A paperback copy of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo slipped from his hand back onto the low table. “Hello, Milja. Nice place. Has he moved his toothbrush in yet?” It was like waking to find a giant bird of prey in my tiny living room; he looked wildly unsuited to a domestic setting and way too big for it, even with wings furled. In fact, with that Roman nose and those unblinking amber eyes, there was something distinctly golden eagle-like about him. If he stretched out he could knock over walls, I thought. “What do you think you’re doing?” I asked. “This is my home. You can’t just come barging in!” “You’re right,” he said, looking startled. “I have to have your permission. No, hold on, wait…that’s vampires. Shame.” I pursed my lips. “Well, God certainly did not hold back on the sarcasm when he made you guys.” He smirked. If you’re that good-looking, even a less-than-warm smile can be a weapon of devastating charm. Turning to the couch, he sat down with arms draped over the back and knees spread. It was not so much an invitation as a claiming of territory. “What do you want?” I kept my voice hard, even as I thought of the icon of Saint Michael that had stood guard over the key in my father’s church. That holy painting had always made me feel nervous as a child, and he was no less intimidating in the flesh. His piercing gaze rested lightly upon me, with all the gentleness of a sword-point. “Nothing.” His rigger boots were caked in dried mud, I noticed, and flaking on my rug. I wished he would blink. It still creeped me out, even though Azazel should have inured me to it. “Angels aren’t supposed to lie. What are you doing here?” “Waiting.” “So, what…you’re sitting guard over me until Azazel comes back? Is that your plan?” “He’s too much of a coward to face me. Runs every time.” “If that’s the way you want to call it.” He looked at the kitchen door. “I see you have a kettle. You got any tea? I like that Earl Grey stuff. Tastes like flowers.” “I know the rules, you know. You can’t actually do anything to me.” “True enough. And I’m not stopping you leaving, if that’s worrying you.” “I can move out. Get a new place.” “That’s fine, I’ll find you. This apartment’s a bit small for the two of us, to be honest.” I clenched my jaw, weighing my options. “Okay,” I said, and dropped my wrap to reveal my naked body, in all its post-coital salty glow. That wiped the smile off his lips. “Don’t play those games,” he growled, sitting up and looking away from me. Love is Azazel’s weak spot. Shame is theirs. They’re terrified of their own human flesh. “What? Does this make you uncomfortable? That’s a pity, seeing as how it’s my house and I like to walk around it naked.” “You are shameless.” His gaze was sliding all over the place, not daring to settle on me. “I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” I hefted my breasts and jiggled them. “They’re my tits. In my apartment. If you don’t want to see, clear out.” “Put your robe back on,” he rasped. “Oops,” I said. “Did I drop it?” Turning my back to him, I spread my feet and, straight-legged, bent over to pick the fabric up again. Nice and slow… He moved so fast he’d launched me across the room and onto my bed before I even realized he was out of his seat. The abused mattress twanged in alarm. It knocked the wind out of me—and more than that, shocked me half to death. I wasn’t in the least bit hurt, not even bruised, but I hadn’t expected him to touch me at all, under the rules. Maybe the Boatman sailed closer to the wind than I’d bargained for. “Don’t do that, whore!” he barked, leaning into my face. He looked furious. I knew why. It takes a human decades to learn how to deal with all the things that come with an adult body—all those hormones and instincts—without losing control. Angels never had the advantage of a gradual introduction. I had two choices: surrender or fight. I bared my teeth and snarled right back at him, matching his rage and contempt. “Or what? You’re going to rape me? ’Cause I think that might just count as a fall from Grace, don’t you? And then you’d be royally fucked, Mister Michael.” He recoiled, drawing himself up in undisguised horror. I took advantage of the gap between us to roll over and pull the drawer of my bedside cabinet open, pulling out the silicon rabbit sex toy I’d been given at my graduation party. I hadn’t used it in months, I couldn’t even remember if there were any batteries in it, and I certainly wasn’t feeling horny, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. “Wanna watch?” I asked, spreading my legs wide. “Because that’s what us girls do when we’re home alone these modern days. You can go into the other room if it squicks you out to see. Then you’ll only have to listen to the noises I make.” He turned on his heel and stomped away, slamming his hands into the doorframe hard enough to crack the wood. But he didn’t leave altogether. He was just that bit too stubborn.

Blurb:

“I will free them all.” When Milja Petak released the fallen angel Azazel from five thousand years of imprisonment, she did it out of love and pity. She found herself in a passionate sexual relationship beyond her imagining and control – the beloved plaything of a dark and furious demon who takes what he wants, when he wants, and submits to no restraint. But what she hasn’t bargained on is being drawn into his plan to free all his incarcerated brothers and wage a war against the Powers of Heaven. As Azazel drags Milja across the globe in search of his fellow rebel angels, Milja fights to hold her own in a situation where every decision has dire consequences. Pursued by the loyal Archangels, she is forced to make alliances with those she cannot trust: the mysterious Roshana Veisi, who has designs of her own upon Azazel; and Egan Kansky, special forces agent of the Vatican – the man who once saved then betrayed her, who loves her, and who will do anything he can to imprison Azazel for all eternity. Torn every way by love, by conflicting loyalties and by her own passions, Milja finds that she too is changing – and that she must do things she could not previously have dreamt of in order to save those who matter to her. In Bonds of the Earth is the second in the Book of the Watchers trilogy and the sequel to Cover Him With Darkness.

Buy links:

Ebook: Amazon: http://hyperurl.co/cu1pe0 Apple: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/book/in-bonds-of-the-earth/id1201654085?mt=11 Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/in-bonds-of-the-earth Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Janine_Ashbless_In_Bonds_of_the_Earth?id=HZMSDgAAQBAJ&hl=en Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/in-bonds-of-the-earth-janine-ashbless/1125264279?ean=9781910908099

Print: Support your small publisher and buy direct: https://sinfulpress.co.uk/product/in-bonds-of-the-earth-by-janine-ashbless/ Waterstones: https://www.waterstones.com/book/in-bonds-of-the-earth/janine-ashbless/9781910908082 Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/in-bonds-of-the-earth-janine-ashbless/1125264279?ean=9781910908082 Amazon: http://hyperurl.co/fuqprg

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32996475-in-bonds-of-the-earth Author bio:

Janine Ashbless is a writer of fantasy erotica and steamy romantic adventure. She likes to write about magic and myth and mystery, dangerous power dynamics, borderline terror, and the not-quite-human.

Buyer beware! If you like dark romance and a hard-won Happily Ever After, try “Cover Him with Darkness,” “Heart of Flame,” or “The King’s Viper.” If you prefer challenging erotica, go for “Red Grow the Roses” or “Named and Shamed” instead. All her other books lie somewhere on the spectrum between.

Janine has been seeing her books in print ever since 2000. She’s also had numerous short stories published by Black Lace, Nexus, Cleis Press, Ravenous Romance, Harlequin Spice, Storm Moon, Xcite, Mischief Books, and Ellora’s Cave among others. She is co-editor of the nerd erotica anthology ‘Geek Love’.

Born in Wales, Janine now lives in the North of England with her husband and two rescued greyhounds. She has worked as a cleaner, library assistant, computer programmer, local government tree officer, and – for five years of muddy feet and shouting – as a full-time costumed Viking. Janine loves goatee beards, ancient ruins, minotaurs, trees, mummies, having her cake and eating it, and holidaying in countries with really bad public sewerage.

Her work has been described as: “Hardcore and literate” (Madeline Moore) and “Vivid and tempestuous and dangerous, and bursting with sacrifice, death and love.” (Portia Da Costa).

You can find Janine on Facebook or at her website or blog.

Author picture credit to David Woolfall.

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In the Bonds of Earth by Janine Ashbless What inspired you to write your first book? My first book was a collection of erotic short stories with various supernatural and fantasy themes, and I was inspired to write them after a friend gave me a Black Lace collection and I realized "WOW!