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chelseeebe · 1 year ago

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cold as ice

sooo it’s been a long time coming.. steve’s grand return to my blog!! now i’m not really one for hockey romance or wtv but i saw this one picture on pinterest and it just spurred me on to write this.. whatever this is

18+ mdni! smut. violent themes. eddie is r’s brother though descriptors are not used so take that relationship as you want! steve harrington x female reader. hockey au.

the rink is cool, the clattering sounds of skates and sticks hitting the ice fill the arena.

it’s too early for steve to really give a shit about practice, waiting for the moment he’s allowed to crawl back into bed again.

the arena’s usually empty at this time of the day, not many people were keen to watch them scream at each other over failed passes.

but today, you sit in one of the seats, quietly watching as they warm up.

steve’s still fairly new to the team, only recently drafted, though things were looking a whole lot better if he knew you’d be showing up to practice regularly.

“who’s that?” he nods, sliding up to the small group congregated at edge. he’d just assumed you were somebody’s girlfriend dragged to practice.

“munson’s sister,” jason smiles, thumping him on the back, “don’t even think about it man.. not gonna happen.”

steve’s features crumple, confusion echoing his face, “well why not?”

they laugh, sharing a knowing look between them, a joke he wasn’t in on. tommy steps forward, clapping his hand on his shoulder, pitying almost, “you think we haven’t tried? eddie doesn’t play about her.. i wouldn’t even bother.”

his eyes travel back to your solemn spot in the bleachers, cocking his grin to the side.

he wasn’t one to ignore a challenge, and he certainly wouldn’t be now.

lucky for steve, the only reason you’d tagged along to practice was to use the rink after the guys had left. making use of the quiet hour between them practicing and the public flooding in.

he was smart, waiting for eddie to leave before sliding his skates back on, venturing out onto the ice to interrupt your peaceful routine.

“hey,” he calls from across the ice, slowly making his way over without startling you. “what’re you doing?” moving alongside you slowly.

“practicing,” you reply rather bluntly, ignoring him to spin around the cool rink, speeding off into the distance.

steve grits his teeth, just about skating fast enough to catch up, wrapping his arm around your waist and knocking you back into the plexiglass, all in one fell swoop.

“oops,” he smirks, mere inches from your face, “i tripped.”

you smile, a contained, coy grin that you’d hoped wouldn’t boost his ego too much, turning your face away from his.

“i don’t think we’ve met,” laying on the charm thick and heavy, just as he meant to go on, “i’m steve, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“i know who you are,” narrowing your cold eyes, “eddie told me you’re bad news.”

steve’s not shocked, not one bit. eddie hasn’t been particularly welcoming since his arrival, though he’d put it down to new team rituals or whatever.

his throat vibrates, humming his response, “i’m sure he did.”

how rude of eddie not to return the favour and introduce you to him too.

“i’m gonna ask you out,” poking his tongue into his cheek, “and we can either do it the easy way or we can do it the hard way, it’s your choice,” quirking his head to the side.

“steve,” you warn, dropping your gaze.

“so you choose the hard way, that’s fine,” keeping his hand firmly on the plastic, pinning you in place, “what’re you scared of? eddie?” blowing the air out of his mouth, “he’s not gonna know.. don’t worry.”

you hum, taking your bottom lip between your teeth, “he’ll kill you,” jutting your chin out, “i don’t think you want that.”

the words melt off of his tongue, resembling butter and all things sweet, “for you, i’d risk it,” a true smooth talker, knowing exactly what you wanted to hear.

your eyes roll back, dipping your chin, presumably to hide the flush he’d bought to your cheeks. worked every time.

“we can have dinner,” finding enough pride to meet his gaze again, forcing faux reluctance into your tone. he’s aware that it’s all a game, he’s rolled this dice a thousand times and knows exactly how it’ll land.

“tonight,” ordering, not asking, “i’ll pick you up, yeah?”

your lips purse, “fine,” the bright lights shine from your eyes, highlighting the flustered glow of your cheeks, “eight o’clock,” a feeble attempt to gain some control over the moment.

steve gleefully releases you from the makeshift cell he’d held you in, slowly moving backward along the ice, “wear something pretty for me,” flashing his teeth in a over bearing grin, darting off of the rink before anyone had the chance to spot you together.

he’s there at eight on the dot, nonchalantly eyeing the door, playing off the excitable beating in his chest.

you don’t emerge until the time on his dash reads 8:09. perhaps another attempt at flipping the ball into your court or maybe you were just late.

steve didn’t mind either way.

he leaps from the chair, making his way around the car before you even got to the road, opening the door with a grin.

“you look great,” he purrs, hanging onto the door as you step inside, lingering inches from his face, cocking your head to the side to thank him before sliding in.

he’s almost vibrating on the drive over, fingers nervously tapping the soft leather wheel, no doubt making himself look insane.

the drive seemed too long now, having chosen a restaurant out of town in fear of prying eyes that would guarantee he would never see you again.

you’re unconcerned with the food, hanging onto his every word, lapping up the barrage of compliments just dripping off his tongue.

“eddie can’t be that bad, can he?” steve asks, completely naive to the lengths your brother would go to keep him away.

you laugh into your glass mid-sip, flashing him a look that can only be taken as a warning. “you don’t get it,” mocking in the way you shake your head, “he’d eat you alive,” a scathing review of what he was getting himself into.

“i think you’d be worth it darlin’,” flashing his teeth in that trademarked steve harrington grin.

but it works, ducking your head behind your glass though it fails to conceal the crinkle by your eyes. a dead giveaway that his syrupy words were working.

“y’think?” emerging from behind the transparent glass.

“i do.”

steve had an abundance of confidence, maybe too much depending on who you asked. but it didn’t half work in his favour.

you were putty in his hands and he hadn’t even finished his spiel yet.

“you talk a lotta shit, steve harrington,” biting the inside of your cheek.

“but you like it, don’t you?”

your mouth twitches, biting at your bottom lip, reluctant to nod but you do anyway. relinquishing any and all last embers of self-respect you were desperately clinging onto.

he’s already eager to get you out of the restaurant and back into the passenger seat of his car.

there had been no doubt in his mind that he would win you over. what was a disgruntled older brother to him anyway?

nothing more than a tiny blip that steve could rather easily ignore. especially when you were the reward.

there’s inconsequential chatter on the journey back, words full of nothingness while all his mind can fathom is the feel of your lips against his.

he pulls into the tiny lot in front of your building, though you don’t get out, stewing in the passenger seat, waiting for him to make a move.

so he does.

steve leans over the console, his forefinger and thumb encasing your chin, tilting your face toward his. you take your lip between your teeth, stopping him before he can smash his lips to yours.

“you have to promise me..” you murmur, gazing into his eyes though they remain on your lips, “eddie can’t ever know.”

he hums in anticipation, almost drooling with excitement, “yeah.. i promise,” before moving in to finally touch you.

your finger jabs into his chest, mere millimetres away from sealing his fate, “i mean it, steve.. never ever.”

“never ever,” he echoes, still waiting for your permission to close the gap.

your head nods slightly, “oka-,” interrupted by his lips mashing with yours, taking your bottom lip between his teeth, adamant to not waste any more precious time.

your hand rests against his heaving chest, barely curling around the fabric, just enough to keep him close.

steve breaks away first, just to look at you with lovesick eyes. he knows that this will inevitably only end one way, but that’s okay. if being with you in the meantime is the prize, then the eventual fallout is negligible.

“shit,” he breathes, keeping the distance small and easily shortened, “you’re so beautiful,” fully meaning it but really only saying it to watch you squirm again.

“stop it,” abashedly hurrying to connect your lips again, noses knocking against one another with your careless action.

you taste like sweet wine and spearmint, delicate with the way your tongue swipes over his bottom lip, a soft murmur escaping your throat when his hand finds your thigh.

a welcoming new addiction, one steve wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to escape. ever.

being secretive meant a lot of days holed up in your apartment. unless of course both of you were needed at the ice. that’s when shit got really fun.

every single person on that rink truly believed your eyes were on them but only steve knew who you were actually looking at.

eddie was completely non-the-wiser, ignorant to the fact you and steve arrived just minutes apart, blissfully unaware of the violet markings trailing down your neck.

the thrill of having something to hold over him. no matter how loud he’d scream at steve or how hard he’d knock him down, steve knew that at the end of it all, he was going home with you.

personally, steve thought the tension was

palpable. that every single person in this building could tell that he couldn’t wait to get home to touch you again.

one particular eve, sprawled out next to you in bed, as you had been for days at this point, steve jumps up, grabs the clunky polaroid camera and starts coaxing you out of bed.

“come on,” he orders, wrapping his fingers around yours, “i got an idea.”

tossing his jersey in your direction, just barely catching it before it fallls to the ground again. “take this off,” running his fingers around the hem of your shirt, “and put this on,” he barks, already helping you lift the fabric over your head.

you grab onto his hand, furrowed brows, “what’re you doing?”

“i wanna take a picture,” having already noted the polaroid camera that sat on your shelf. he’d been thinking about it for weeks, only just comfortable enough to ask.

you hesitate but do as he says says anyway, letting the jersey fall around your body while steve watches with his jaw detached.

he nods towards the bed, in quiet amazement as the jersey falls around your bare thighs, riding higher when you move.

you lay back, steve crawling onto the mattress behind you, knees pressed together as he looms above. so perfect, sprawled out on the bed with his jersey on.

he gives no warning before snapping the picture, grinning to himself behind the plastic camera.

“i wasn’t looking,” you frown, grabbing ahold of his wrist before he can take another.

“that was just a practice one,” he coos, looking at you rather than through the viewfinder.

what he truly wanted was a picture that only the two of you would ever see.

“can i?” asking cautiously as his large hand lays on your knee, waiting for that small nod before spreading them apart, closing the space between you.

his hand skirts upward, brushing your thigh until it meets your core, keeping his eyes trained on yours for approval.

“yeah?” steve repeats, the camera still poised in his other hand.

you nod again, chest heaving as you allow him to manoeuvre your body, relinquishing full control over to him.

steve’s thumb traces the lace fabric, grazing your clit and down to your quivering hole. shuddering breath fills the room but you don’t contest it, relaxing into the mattress instead.

his finger hooks around the fabric, yanking it to the side, your soaked cunt waiting below.

“okay?” he reiterates further, dropping the camera onto the bed to pull his boxers, cock aching and starved, leaking with anticipation.

“please,” finally using your voice, a desperate, strangled cry that makes his cock twitch.

steve’s vision is clear, he knows what he wants from this. something that only the two of you will know had happened.

guiding his tip to your eager entrance, gently nudging inside as you wail softly, fingers grabbing at the disheveled blanket underneath.

he scrambles for the discarded camera, wanting to take the picture before completely losing it. the tension is palpable, longing for him to move while he’s adamant on getting the perfect shot.

“a-alright honey,” steve stammers, tugging at the hem of the jersey to cover where your two bodies meet.

the shutter clicks, your two bodies intertwined perfectly and yet completely unknown to anyone that may ever see that picture.

it takes everything in him not to scrap everything and just fuck you into the mattress. a couple more photos and he’d be satisfied.

something about this entire situation was getting him off anyway, your warmth enveloping him, squeezing and trembling as you wait patiently.

“please move,” you beg, a divine temptress with your hooded eyes and wetted lips.

he does so, agonisingly slow, causing your jaw to go slack, pinging perverted thoughts to his fuzzy brain.

his thumb finds your bottom lip, resting on the skin before you get the hint to wrap your lips around it. it’s taking everything for him to not cum right now, his fingers shaking on top of the button, pointed perfectly to capture his thumb between your lips, fingers caressing your warm cheek. cutting off just before the camera meets your eyes, no identifiable features, just in case.

the camera lowers as his hips still roll slowly, your composure slipping away with each gentle thrust. steve thinks that he could’ve asked for anything at this point and you would’ve let him. too drunk, too in-love to really think about it.

but he doesn’t push it, one more picture, just for him.

your cunt, keeping him inside, a picture to be hidden and cherished.

using his fingers to bunch up the soft cotton of his jersey, perfectly framing the meeting point of your two bodies. he fills you to the hilt, drawing a sweet whine from your plump lips.

barely stable enough to snap the picture, hands trembling the entire time before tossing the camera to the side, a flurry of polaroids lay framing your body. to be ignored until after he had made you cum a couple times.

steve thrums his full attention to you, your body even. his fingers still gripping his borrowed jersey, using the fabric for leverage as he thrusts faster, choking on his moans, overcome with the intensity of your cunt squeezing around him.

“so good,” he stresses, further spreading your legs to move closer, staying stood on his knees to watch your expression contort and change with every slam of his hips.

his hand leaves the jersey, disappearing between your soft thighs to find your neglected clit, drawling the sweetest mewl from your lips, eyes squeezing shut with the new found pleasure.

“oh my god steve,” moving your hips against his in slow rhythm.

you’d done something for him and now he was due to repay you fully, thumb circling gently around your sensitive clit, neglecting his own climax to ensure you got there first.

steve thighs burn, the feel of your heels digging into the dimples on his lower back were the only thing keeping him upright.

“c’mon honey,” he coos, ducking his head to watch you wriggle, thighs squeezing together as the sweat begins to pool on your temple.

falling apart at the seams with every nudge of his cock against your sensitive spot, trembling as the waves of your orgasm threaten to spill over.

steve can tell, can feel you tighten around him, desperately clawing the soft blanket beneath.

“that’s it baby,” in a gruff low growl, still teasing your poor clit, “you sound so pretty,” drinking in every delicate whine that left your soft lips.

“shit,” you cry, moving your hips against his in perfect rhythm, your eyes stuck shut as he smirks to himself.

steve’s pace stutters, a mixture of expletives and throaty groans fill the room, moving to clasp onto your hip instead. a mixture of ecstasy and desperation overcome his bones, helplessly rutting into you as you tremble.

“oh.. uhh,” he groans, fingernails leaving tiny crescent moons in the plush skin of your hip, “f-fuck baby, i’m gonna cum,” desperate to unload while you writhe beneath, overstimulated after your own orgasm.

his fist wraps around the base of his cock, leaving your warmth just before he cums, thick ropes of his release paint your stomach, no doubt his jersey too.

it could be cleaned, but seeing you come completely undone in the bright blue shirt again wasn’t guaranteed.

the room is stifling, clammy skin no longer sexy but irritating as he gathers the forgotten polaroids, collapsing breathlessly next to you, sharing one pillow as your sticky bodies mesh.

“oh god,” choking on your words, harshly thrown back into reality, “i don’t think i wanna see those.”

steve tuts, holding the small pile above your faces, “you’re amazing.. i like that one,” flashing the image of your lips wrapped snug around his thumb.

“euurgh,” you complain, “you can keep that one.”

his eyes roll back as he flicks through, tracing the outline of where your two bodies meet, “that one’s my favourite,” turning his head to watch your grimacing face.

your fatal flaw was your humility, not wanting to own how earth-shatteringly beautiful you were was really his only issue.

“you can keep that one,” you murmur, coming to face him, “actually, you can keep them all.”

steve ponders for a moment, taking in the soft curve of your lips, the way your eyes seemed to fill with stars when you looked at him.

“thank you for doing that,” completely sincerely, “i’m gonna keep that one in my wallet,” showcasing the one where your two bodies met, entirely undetectable to any poor soul that may open his wallet.

“you’re so gross,” shoving the stack of pictures out of your site, rolling out of the bed as you go, “i’m gonna shower.. you coming or are you just gonna perv at all your weird photos?”

“say less,” steve beams, leaping up, dragging you along towards the bathroom with a chorus of shrieks and giggles.

steve shuffles in the soft dawn light, reluctant to leave the warm cocoon of your bed for the icy rink and brutish behaviour of his teammates.

he groans while getting ready, it never getting any easier to leave you comfortable in bed.

the doorbell shrieks from the hall, your eyes meeting in a panic.

fucking eddie.

“eddie,” you frown, leaping out of bed, “he’s early,” scowling at the clock, “he wasn’t supposed to be here until seven,” gritting your teeth as you pull discarded clothes back onto your body.

steve looks at the window, a little far down to throw himself out of it before his eyes dart back to the bed, wondering if he could shove himself underneath.

you spin as the door pings again, shoving steve to the other side of your room, “just stay in here and don’t say anything, okay?” rushing out as your bedroom door slams shut.

the door opens and eddie waltz in, shoving the last of his bagel into his mouth as he makes his way into your apartment.

“you’re early,” you scold, worriedly looking around the messy room, praying your brother wouldn’t notice.

“was getting breakfast.. thought you’d be ready,” he mumbles through chews, eyes leaving yours to also glide around the room, at the clues of there being another person in this apartment. “is someone else here?” eddie asks, finding steve’s sneakers left neatly by the door.

“no,” you rush, furrowing your brow, “i’m the only one that lives here eddie,” only half-a-lie. steve hadn’t moved in officially, but it was pretty damn close.

eddie smirks, noting the two mugs sat in the sink waiting to be washed, “no? are you sure about that?”

“what’re you even talking about? i’m not in the mood for this,” sighing heavily.

“i don’t care if you’re dating someone,” he laughs, “you can tell me, you know?”

“i’m not.. you’re just, you’re being stupid,” standing with your arms across your chest, disapproving of his early morning nonsense.

“alright.. alright,” shaking his head, “whatever. if you don’t wanna tell me, that’s fine.”

you think fast, tempted to pull the fire alarm just he’d have to get the fuck out.

“i’m not coming today, i don’t feel great so.. you should go,” eager to usher him out of the door and far, far away from all of the shit you’d mistakenly left out.

he does as you ask, walking towards the door but not before stopping right before steve’s shoes, “nice shoes,” unable to keep his snarky remark to himself of course.

your eyes fall down to the large pair of sneakers sat by the door, obvious that they weren’t ever meant for you, “they’re.. they’re.. can you just leave please?” pushing him through the door, dismayed by his lack of care for your embarrassing time.

“see ya tomorrow?”

“yeah yeah tomorrow.. bye,” abruptly closing the door in his smug face, relieved to not have witnessed your brother beat your boyfriend to death just yet.

steve breathes a silent sigh of relief at the door clicking shut, unsticking himself from the wall to make his way to your bedroom door, only waiting for your signal to come out.

“oh my god, oh my god,” you exclaim, barrelling into the room, “too close,” steve’s hands catch your frantic shoulders, slowing down the panic in your eye.

“i know..” he affirms, keeping you steady, “but he’s gone, okay? it’s fine.. he doesn’t know and now next time we’ll just.. we’ll be more careful, yeah?”

your breathing slows, nodding along with his calming words, “okay.. okay,” leaning into his palm as his hand caresses your cheek, “you should go, i don’t want you to be late.”

what did that matter if you weren’t okay? hockey would come and go but he was intending to keep you forever.

“you gonna be okay? i’ll be back as soon as we’re done,” thumb tracing the indents by your mouth, wishing he could just bundle you along with him.

“yeah.. i’m okay, go,” breaking free of his clasp though your palm stays atop of his hand, nodding encouragingly.

so reluctantly he does, leaving you for a frosty morning on the ice. a couple of hours of really testing his ability not to pummel your brother into the ground.

“why’re you late?” eddie spits, damn near slobbers, standing from the bench to approach steve, without an ounce of intimidation in his body.

steve just scoffs, “two minutes.. you’ll survive,” ignoring the stiff man to shove his bag into his locker, slamming the door shut to find eddie’s stoic face just inches from his.

“you’re always fuckin’ late,” his eyes falling slowly to the floor, a disconcerting expression overcomes his features.

through gritted teeth eddie bites, “fucking asshole,” grabbing steve by the scruff of the neck and subsequently throwing him violently back into the lockers. his spine and head, colliding loudly with the metal, a groan escaping his lips at the sudden searing ache.

“what the fuck?”

“stay the fuck away from her!” bellowing into steve’s face, completely unnecessary for the distance between them.

the bridges connect in his head, albeit slowly. realising that ‘her’ was in fact you.

his shoes.

he’d kicked them off by the door last night like he always did, without much thought about the consequence of your brother spotting them.

steve shoves him backwards, unpinning himself from the lockers, letting his anger take over.

“so fucking what?” pushing him further back, “you gonna punch me because i’m dating your sister?” using the opportunity to gain an advantage over eddie, towering above with his brows furrowed.

“no,” eddie growls, “i’ll fucking kill you for dating my sister,” already lunging towards steve, fingertips scraping his shirt as he’s tugged backwards by a both very impressed and yet very frightful jason.

“calm the fuck down!” jason hollers, though his pleas fall on deaf ears as eddie scrambles through his hold, reaching out for steve’s static body.

holy fuck.

you’d told him it’d be bad, and yeah, maybe he had expected a black eye or a bloodied lip but he hadn’t prepared himself for this.

a rage so deep, so visceral that even tommy was ushering steve out of the locker room, a fearful glint to his eye that steve had never seen.

“fuck man,” tommy exasperates, holding his jacket between his fingers, “didn’t think you had it in ya..” amazement rippling through his voice, “you should definitely go though.. give it a couple days and.. he’ll be alright.”

steve wasn’t sure that was true.

a couple of days surely wasn’t enough for that anger to subside. he wouldn’t put it past eddie to creep through the window and strangle him in his sleep.

but he goes nonetheless, a slow, contemplative drive back to your apartment. wondering if this was even the best place to go. you’d be wondering, confused why he didn’t come back. you at least deserved to know.

the door cracks open almost instantaneously, revealing your tear stained face accompanied by your wobbling lip, appalled at the sheer sight of him, “what did you do? steve? what the fuck did you do?”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington fic #steve harrington au #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x fem!reader

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thatfeelinwhenyou · 3 months ago

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safe & sound recap! (spoilers)

so.

i did it. i actually finished this series. honestly, i went into this with zero confidence i’d see it through, so i planned to write everything in advance before posting. . but… my self-control? nonexistent. cause i ended up posting prematurely. when i first announced the series on my blog, i had up to part 4 written. i thought, “hey, it’s just two more parts” (at that point of time i only had plans to write 6 parts). i figured i could get it done on time. i was wrong 😀

i had a plan, sure, but the more i wrote, the less certain i felt about the direction i was taking. even up until the very end, i wasn’t sure it was something i wanted to release. hence, why part 7 took so long.

and for everyone who was convinced y/n was going to die… you weren’t completely wrong. i was supposed to kill her off. i actually have a whole draft written in my docs. but it felt wrong to write about humanity and human nature without offering second chances.

i mentioned somewhere before that the core notion that inspired the creation of safe & sound was, “would i still be capable of falling in love if the world was ending?” and i wanted the reader to feel this dilemma for themselves. killing her off would’ve made it impossible to explore this idea.

because isn’t it human to fuck up and try to redeem yourself? hope was the central theme of this fic—hope as the driving force for survival. killing her off would’ve made all that hope meaningless. and that’s when i realised i wasn’t writing the story i wanted to tell. so i rewrote the entire ending and delayed part 7. and i’m so glad i did because i’m proud of the way it turned out. so in case anyone is planning to ask, i will not be posting the draft 😂

i also took on a new form of writing. with safe & sound, i was writing it in a loose first-person pov. i'm pretty sure many of you noticed, i wasn’t diving into jungwon’s or anyone else’s internal monologues. everything was filtered through y/n’s perspective because i wanted the reader to learn new information at the same time as her. this approach was intentional in the sense that i wanted to heighten the sense of isolation and fear. in a zombie apocalypse, survival is rooted in what you directly experience and perceive—there’s no omniscient clarity, no clear insight into what others are feeling or planning. it’s all about y/n’s limited understanding of the world around her.

this pov choice also reflects y/n’s own internal struggle—how she processes trauma, how she pieces together hope and love amid chaos. it was a deliberate attempt to keep the reader emotionally tethered to her journey. but with that also comes the struggle of justifying the actions of other characters. even now, i don't think i did a very good job. but it is what it is. let me know if you guys prefer this style of writing, may or may not explore it in future projects!

but of course, the most important reason i even managed to finish this series is you guys!! a huge part of my motivation came from all the love and support i received from all of you. every time i post a part, i’m just sitting there, waiting to see what you guys think. maybe that sounds superficial, but it genuinely feels good to be praised and appreciated.

it still amazes me that people take time out of their busy schedules to leave me reviews and send me asks about how much they enjoy my works. i know i’m not the most active author on tumblr. i take forever to reply to anything, and i know some of you try to catch me when i’m online. it really, really means a lot to me. just know that all the energy i receive, i put right back into writing!

so, with that, i’m excited to let you guys know i’m working on a one-shot (still undecided on the member) and maybe even another ot7 series. who knows? 🤔

i’ll also be replying to asks and reblogging some of your posts, so feel free to mute me LOL. i'll definitely be taking a big fat break but don't worry, i'll still be coming online and replying to any comments and asks! until then, please stay hydrated, happy, safe, and sound! ❤️

xo, nat

#thatfeelingwhenyou yaps 🗣️‼️#tfwy safe&sound #nat's thoughts

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thewriteadviceforwriters · 10 months ago

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Why Writing Is So Lonely | Rin T.

Hello writers, and anyone else who uses Tumblr on a daily basis like me. (Although I’ve been inactive off and on.) It’s me, Rin, and I wanted to talk about something that I think a lot of us struggle with. Or at least anyone, and everyone who considers themselves writers.

The loneliness that can come with the writing life and being a writer. We spend so much of our time alone. It doesn’t matter if you're using your laptop or scribbling in notebooks. Or pacing around in your living room and muttering dialogue to yourself (which I'm completely guilty of.)

Writing is really a solitary passion, and it hasn't just recently been like that. I'm sure Jane Austen and Edgar Allen Poe dealt with similar feelings. And sometimes that isolation can take a real toll that many of us choose to ignore, both on our creativity, our passion, which I assume is writing in this case, and our mental health.

I’ve been writing for about 4 years now, mostly working on my own little passion projects that I plan on publishing and side hustles, not only for my writing project but also my blog (TheWrite AdviceForWriters). I’m currently knee-deep in 4 different novel drafts that I’m absolutely in love with. However, let me tell you. It can get Very lonely a lot of times. There are days when I feel like I’m the only person in the world who cares about these made-up characters and their fictional problems. The characters I create in my mind are so vivid that they seem like the only individuals who actually care about my passion. (They technically are, considering they are basically my passion.)

It’s so easy to start wondering whether anyone will ever want to read the stories I'm pouring my heart into. The self-doubt I get has been a big part of my writing journey, and sometimes it breaks my heart knowing that I may not please everyone who reads my stories. That I possibly could get the worst reviews out there on my book. If it's not perfect for society. For example, I have been reading and receiving news on Alex Aster and the amount of bad reviews she received for her LightLark novel, and she has had a few times where she’s stated she poured her heart into it. And it's not just Aster who deals with these as a published author; there are many others, and it sometimes scares me.

But you know what? I've come to realize that this loneliness is just part of the writer’s journey. And that it truly is going to be the process of every writer’s journey and career. It’s going to be one of the prominent challenges we have to face if we want to do this crazy, wonderful, painful thing we call writing. And I think it's important we talk about it, especially since I'm a blogger who owns a blog specifically for writers. The biggest reason I chose to create this blog was for this reason and the many other challenges of being a writer.

I definitely will consider this blog post to be a discussion, and if anyone wants to reblog or reply to this blog post and start a conversation, please do so, just so we can support each other and figure out healthy ways to cope.

So, why is writing such a lonely pursit? Well, there are quite a few reasons, especially reasons for each individual writer; however, here are a few key reasons:

The Act Itself is Solitary.

At the end of the day, writing is something we have to do on our own. Sure, we can brainstorm with other writers and friends who write or get feedback from beta readers. Or even develop and edit your manuscript with a professional book editor. But the actual act of putting words on the page is a solo endeavor. We’re the ones doing the typing, the (physical) writing, and the constant racking of our brains to find the perfect word or phrase to put down on paper or the blank page on a screen.

Even when we’re writing collaboratively, there’s still a certain level of isolation involved. I mean, after all, our individual writing process and creative visions have to align for the collaboration to work.

And let’s be real—aligning those things isn't always easy.

I’ve reached out to book editors, more so of developmental editors, which is an editor who guides the writer/author on the actual plot and outline of the novel itself. And they have mentioned the difficulties of needing to align with the creativity of the topic or novel. It isn't easy at all.

I know that for me, my most productive writing sessions happen when I'm alone. And I know for a fact I'm not alone on that.

Having no distractions when it's just me, my thoughts, and the blinking cursor on the screen with a Spotify playlist playing in the background. And while that can be deeply fulfilling and very productive, I will admit it can be incredibly lonely.

It's an Emotionally Draining Process.

Writing isn't just about stringing words together. It's about pouring our hearts and souls onto the page. Were digging into our deepest emotions, our biggest fear, our wildest dreams, our thoughts, our philosophy, I can go on. And that kind of vulnerability can be utterly exhausting.

When I'm in the process of drafting a new novel or the many current projects I'm working on. I often find myself emotionally drained at the end of the day. I've been living and breathing these characters, feeling their joys and pains as my own. describing the actions, words, and emotions these characters do and feel. And then after that, I have to close my laptop, put my pen and notebook away, and try to reenter the “real world"—a world that doesn’t always understand the weight I've been carrying.

It can be so isolating, feeling like the only person who understands the emotional journey of your writing. Knowing what it feels like to create characters and their stories and emotions and personalities just as if they were real humans. Our non-writer friends and family members try their best to be supportive, but unless they experience it firsthand, they cannot fully grasp the depth of what we go through. I can tell when I explain my projects to others who aren't writers, it can sometimes feel like they don't care about what I'm saying to them. Or it can also feel like, my stories are just a synopsis for an underrated movie no one’s ever watched.

It's a Profession of Rejection

I think we all know, writing is a tough gig. It's a tough career and job. Even the most successful authors have had to face their fair share of rejection. The rejections can be received from agents, publishers, readers, or critics. (like I mentioned earlier), and that constant stream of “no’s” can really chip away at our confidence and sense of self-worth. And especially if you're an aspiring author and have not yet published your work. Knowing that rejection is a big part of the career of writing is frightening. Really.

I remember when one of my best friends, who is a writer, who is currently in the process of publishing her book, would send query after query only to receive endless rejections. She told me it felt like the entire world was telling her, “Your writing isn't good enough,” and that can be a pretty lonely and demoralizing place to be. It has made me anxious about getting to the querying phase, as I still haven't begun to query yet.

Even when we start to find some success, the fear of rejection never really goes away. Will readers love our next book as much as the last one? Will readers even like my debut novel? Will the critics tear it apart? I know when I first started writing my first novel project. I rewrote the first chapter. 13 times!! And that’s because of all the questions and doubts I had in mind. It’s enough to make any writer want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

And the thing is, as writers, we often don't have the same support system that people in other professions might have. We don't have coworkers to commiserate with or a boss to reassure us; it’s just us. Our doubts and the eerie silence of an empty inbox. For example, Ana Neu, one of my all-time favorite Author-Tuber's, has dealt with similar struggles. She’s mentioned several times how lonely she feels and how her family doesn't fully understand her love and passion for writing. And I completely agree with her. If you want to listen to more of her, please listen to her podcast and watch her videos on YouTube here.

So, now that I went over the key reasons as to why writing is so lonely, I didn't want to end this post on negativity, that’s why I wanted to list the main strategies that have helped me:

Build a Writer’s Community

One of the best ways to combat the isolation of writing is to surround yourself with other writers. That’s why I found social media to be a gift, not just for the other obvious reasons, but because we get to find writers around the world who enjoy the same things we like. Having that sense of community can be a game changer.

When I first started my Tumblr blog, TheWriteAdviceForWriters, I was really hoping to create that kind of supportive space for writers. I wanted to create a space where anyone who enjoys writing—not just fiction writers, but anyone who finds writing to be a passion of theirs—can share their dreams and struggles with. It's been amazing to connect with so many incredible people who just “get” the unique challenges we face. Being able to share our achievements and share our compassions. It's been vital for my own mental health as a writer, and I hope that it can also be vital for all of you.

And of course, the community is not about venting or seeking validation from others; its about providing feedback, encouragement, and just being able to make friends. Having that makes the lonely parts of the writing process and journey feel a little less lonely.

Prioritize Self-care

It's so easy to get caught up in the work and neglect our well-being. There have been multiple times where I wouldn't take a break from my writing sessions and simply not eat and drink. I wouldn't give myself time to process everything I wrote, and I immediately after would criticize it.

However, I find that self-care is the most important part of combating the isolation that comes with being a writer. For me, that looks like making sure I get enough sleep. You can't process, learn, and remember anything when you don't have enough sleep. During my personal self-care, when I do 45-to 1-hour writing sessions, I usually take a short nap after. Eating nourishing meals and snacks is important, as is making time for the hobbies and activities that bring me joy. I usually like reading books, spending quality time with my family members, and very feisty (and sometimes scary) cat.

3. Cultivate Gratitude

When loneliness starts to creep in, it can be really helpful to shift our mindset and focus on what we are grateful for; this can be really productive and rewarding. Being a writer is a gift; we get to spend our days doing what we love, bringing our creative visions to life and sharing them with people who love literature. Readers are such a big part of being a writer, and they're huge motivations to me.

So, if you can, just take a moment to appreciate the joys of writing. For example, if you have any writing quirks, I personally have to wear bracelets on both of my wrists in order to produce some type of creativity when I write. I'm not sure why it's just something I noticed. I also really love writing my manuscripts physically. I tend to do this when I'm suffering from writer's block, and for some reason my writing style is a lot better.

And don't forget the many other joys of writing, like drafting, and the excitement of sharing your work with others. Having a new idea come to mind that fits perfectly in your plot. Or even a reader or beta reader sharing a comment on your work and giving you encouragement.

Also, please celebrate your wins; it makes writing all too fun, and it's a great way to integrate writing into the real world.

End Note

I wanted to write this post because I know a lot of us deal with feeling lonely; I’ve been feeling that way for quite some time, and I wanted to share it with Tumblr. I feel like each and every one of you all feel the same way. And that’s why I created my Tumblr community; that's the reason I created this blog, and that's the reason I strive to build this into an entire brand.

I want to bring more awareness to writers, we are the people behind the stories, movies, and media that we consume today, and we barely get any credit for our work. I want to make a brand where others who never thought writing to be their passion could actually for once consider “Is writing for me?”

I feel like it's such an underrated yet overrated passion. Yet it's not acknowledged as much.

I hope this post can make you understand that writing is 90% lonely and you are not crazy for thinking so. But, we can use the resources we have today, like social media, to change that and make writing better for the present and the future.

Thank you all for reading. And please, if you are considering joining a community if you haven't already, please join The Write Right Society. We recently met 100 members, and the community is continuing to grow.

#writing #thewriteadviceforwriters #writeblr #creative writing #how to write #writers block #writing tips #on writing #writers on tumblr #aspiring author #authors of tumblr

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flightlessangelwings · 2 years ago

Text

Modern Day Hero

Joel Miller x fem!reader

Word count-4.6k

Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), oral (f receiving), praise, riding, pre or no outbreak (can be read either way), single dad Joel with Sarah (no Ellie), neighbor!Joel, fluff, mutual pining, flirting, romance, only one bed, reader is a YA novelist, protective!Joel, reader is hinted to be more curvy but can be interpreted any way, happy ending, no use of y/n

Notes- Hi @miraclesabound it's your @pedrostories secret santa!!! I took a slightly different direction instead of full on fantasy au but I still incorporated some fantasy in here! I hope you like it cause this was very fun to write!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is my update blog so feel free to also follow that and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on when I post new things!

A knock at the door jolted you out of your thoughts. The screen looked like a bright blur in front of your eyes as you adjusted them to the world around you. You didn’t even realize it, but hours had gone by since you looked away from your screen, too engrossed with the story you were working on to notice the passage of time. Another knock called your attention and you stretched your neck and arms as you stood up from your desk.

“Coming,” you called out to the front door.

You groaned as you moved your legs for the first time in hours and you made a mental note to take a break for a bit once you finished with whoever was at your door. As you swung it open, your breath caught in your throat as you came face to face with your neighbor.

“Joel,” you breathed… Your handsome neighbor who you secretly had feelings for.

Joel gave you an apologetic smile, “Hey,” his exhaustion was apparent in his voice, “Sorry to ask ya so last minute,” he gestured to Sarah, who stood next to him, “Would you mind watching her for the afternoon?”

“Hey!” Sarah greeted you excitedly.

“Hey Sarah,” you replied back with a sincere smile, “Come on in! My favorite houseguest is always welcome here,” you winked at her, “I’ve got some snacks in the kitchen, go help yourself.”

Sarah’s face lit up as she hugged her dad goodbye and skipped inside. Joel mumbled a soft, “Be good,” to her before he turned to you and let out a heavy breath, “I owe you one,” he sighed, “I hate to put ya out like this but this job came up and I need the money and…”

“It’s no problem, Joel. Really,” you cut him off, “Trust me, I understand,” you nudged his shoulder playfully, “Go make that money, big guy.”

That made him laugh and Joel’s eyes darted down to the ground for a moment, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he met your gaze again, “I mean it, though. I owe ya, sweetheart.” With that he hurried over to his truck and drove off.

The nickname took your breath away and your mouth hung open as your brain short circuited for a moment. You stood in the doorway and waved him goodbye as you watched him drive off. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you imagined that you were more than just neighbors… friends. You imagined that he kissed you goodbye and promised he wouldn’t be home too late. You imagined that you would make him dinner and you and Sarah would wait until he came back home.

But he wasn’t yours to have. You and Joel had lived next to each other for a couple years now. Over time, you became friends and you were more than happy to watch Sarah any time. Some nights, you all would hang out together and watch movies, and you always stuck together at neighborhood block parties. But it was never more than that.

You let out a heavy sigh as you closed the door and went inside where you found Sarah on your couch with a manuscript in her hands.

“Is this the new one you’ve been working on?” she asked.

“Yeah,” you sat down next to her, “It's the rough draft. I haven’t gotten a chance to look at my editor’s notes yet.”

“Can I read it?” Sarah asked, batting her eyes like the way her dad sometimes did.

Grinning, you nodded, “How can I say no to that face?” you laughed softly, “Let me know what you think.”

Sarah’s face lit up as she buried herself in the book. Ever since she found out you were a young adult novelist, she always eagerly awaited the next book you had for her to read. Joel definitely appreciated that you made her so interested in books and reading too. Plus, it helped that Sarah seemed to enjoy the same fantasy stories you liked to write, so having a young perspective helped you. You were sure that your writing improved when she started reading your novels and giving you input on them too.

Yet another reason to be grateful for your neighbors.

“I’m gonna go fix us something to eat while you read. Make yourself at home, Sarah.”

She always did, kicking off her shoes at the door and settling onto your couch, “Thanks!” she replied from behind the book, which she was already clearly engrossed in.

“I’ll start with some hot chocolates I think,” you said, more to yourself than to her, as you busied yourself in the kitchen.

Hours passed and the sun set long ago, yet Joel still wasn’t back. You had made you and Sarah dinner and sat with her for a bit before you went back to working on your next novel, the sequel to the draft she was reading, in fact. It was well after midnight when a knock at the door startled you and made Sarah bolt awake from where she fell asleep on your couch.

“Must be your dad,” you told Sarah as you went to answer the door.

“Hey,” Joel sounded tired, “Sorry I’m so late.”

“I was starting to think you forgot about me,” Sarah teased as she gathered her things.

“Now that hurts,” Joel feigned heartbreak, “Let’s go, baby girl.”

You snorted softly as you bid Sarah goodnight.

“Can I finish your book tomorrow?” she asked before she left, “I think this is my favorite one you’ve ever written!”

The compliment genuinely warmed you, “Of course,” you told her, “And then you can read the second one when it’s done,” you winked at her.

Sarah’s face lit up as she hugged you and bounced over to her house.

“She really liked them books of yours,” Joel commented with a grin, “I’m glad she’s been reading so much, though.”

“She’s a good kid,” you said, “How was the job?” you asked.

“It’s money,” he replied.

“That good, huh?”

Joel scoffed. His frown furrowed his brows for a moment before he looked you in the eyes and his face softened, “Thanks again for watchin’ her so late.”

You smiled back at him, “It’s no problem,” you replied in a hushed tone.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Joel reached for you, as if he wanted to hug… or maybe even kiss you, but he stopped himself. Instead, he just nodded and patted your shoulder before he went home to his daughter, leaving you in your doorway dumbfounded.

It was the middle of the night a few days later. Feeling accomplished at finishing your edits for the novel you let Sarah read, you crashed fairly early. You had been working hard on this novel, and it was quickly becoming your pride and joy. So you let yourself rest for the first time in weeks. But, as fate would have it, you wouldn’t rest for long.

A loud crash jolted you awake with a gasp. You sat up in bed, listening if you could figure out what the sound was, when another hiss and pop startled you. Quickly, you got out of bed and ran towards the direction of the sound, which sounded like it came from your basement.

To your dismay, when you turned on the basement light, you saw what the commotion was. A pipe burst in your basement, and everything was flooding. Panic coursed through your veins as your hands shook. Nothing like this ever happened to you before, and between your overwhelming emotions and your panic, you had no idea what to do. And it was the middle of the night, who would you even call?

You grabbed your phone and dialed the only number you could think of.

Joel’s phone rang on his bedside table, causing him to wake with a start. He groaned for a moment before he realized it was a call, and he reached for it with dread as his first thought was of his daughter, “Hello?” he answered with a low gravelly voice.

“Joel?” your voice was on the other end, sounding meek and scared.

He breathed your name as he sat up, “Everything alright?”

“I’m sorry to call in the middle of the night,” you stumbled over your words, “My basement is flooding and I don’t know what to do…”

“Hang on, I’ll be right over,” Joel replied with no hesitation.

He rushed over as fast as he could, and Joel was thankful you were right next door. He burst in your front door and immediately gathered you in his arms, “It’s alright,” he cooed, “I’ve got this.”

You stood in a daze, unsure what to do as Joel got to work. The first thing he did was turn off your water, stopping the rushing water. Then he called the emergency line and let them know what happened and got to work draining the standing water. When backup arrived, he helped them, taking the lead for you.

“Hey,” Joel was suddenly in front of you, his hands on your shoulders, “That’s all we can do for now,” he said, “The water’s all gone but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay here until it gets cleaned out,” he paused, “Why don’t you stay at my place tonight and I’ll help you finish this tomorrow.”

Your eyes went wide as your mind raced, but you also couldn’t turn him down, “Ok,” you whispered.

Joel kept you at his side as he led you back to his house. You were sure he was telling you more details about what happened and what he did to fix it, but you didn’t absorb any of what he said. All you could think about was his large, strong hands on you and how he jumped in to help with no hesitation. It made your heart pound in your chest that it took you a moment to realize you were standing in his bedroom.

“What?” you asked, realizing that he said something important to you.

Joel just smiled softly, “I said Sarah’s out at a sleepover tonight so it’s just us. But I don’t have a spare room, so you can take my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No,” you replied quickly. When he looked at you confused, you clarified, “I mean… I don’t mind…” you felt your skin heat up and your head spun.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you breathed. You paused for a moment, “Sorry to put you out like this…”

“Now don’t you start that on me, sweetheart,” Joel interrupted you, “You ain’t putin me out at all.”

The care in his voice made your heart melt. You swallowed hard and nodded before you looked at his bed, “What side can I take?” you joked to cover your nerves.

Joel grinned.

You settled in easier than you thought you would. You felt safe with Joel, there was no question there. But, after imagining what it would be like to be in his bed for so long, it made your heart pound to actually be here. Letting out a deep breath, you tried to calm your racing mind. The bed dipped as Joel got in on the other side, and you each laid with your back to the other.

The two of you laid together in silence before Joel broke it, “So,” he sighed, “Sarah told me about that new book you wrote…”

You pressed your lips together as your heart pounded in your chest, “Did she like it?” you asked in a hushed tone, suddenly nervous.

“She loved it,” Joel let out a soft laugh, “Where’d you get the idea for it?”

“Oh,” you breathed, “It just comes to me I guess.”

An unspoken question lingered in the air: “Who did you base the hero off of?” You were sure Sarah told Joel about each character, and you were sure that the hero would feel familiar to him…

Instead, Joel decided not to ask, as much as the question nagged at his mind. He let out a deep breath before he murmured, “Night, sweetheart.”

You felt a flutter in your chest before sleep took you. As you slept, you dreamt of the plot of your novel, only you were the main character. In your dream, you were a princess, the daughter of the king. You and your family were well respected and beloved by your people. You dreamt of the balcony in the castle that you described so vividly and you looked out over your kingdom on a beautiful, sunny day.

Then, you were out in the streets of your kingdom. In disguise, you loved to secretly mingle with the people as equals. Their craftsmanship always fascinated and inspired you, and you loved to wander the markets. That was where you met him: the blacksmith. Joel Miller. He worked diligently on the sword in his hands, and you watched him as he formed the most exquisite sword you had ever laid your eyes on. Even the knights in your royal guard didn’t have weapons this grand.

Following the plot of your novel, you and the blacksmith with Joel’s face met and quickly fell in love. He soon discovered that you were the princess, but it didn’t change his feelings for you. Nor did his status mean anything when it came to your heart. As the two of you fell deeper in love, the novel’s villain, the evil wizard that worked for your father and secretly tried to steal his throne, tried to steal you away. The blacksmith Joel- your hero- fought against all odds to rescue you, and the two of you rode away to your happily ever after in the sunset…

Suddenly, you woke up with a weight across your body, and for a moment you were confused. But a snore from Joel reminded you of your current situation. You held your breath as you fully opened your eyes and adjusted to the low light of the moon through the window. You still stayed on your side, but Joel had rolled over in his sleep and slung an arm around you.

Your heart pounded as you felt the warmth of his body against yours. He groaned in his sleep as he clutched you tighter, and it made you gasp. Not out of discomfort or fear, but from the yearning in your heart.

The noise you made must have woken Joel, who was accustomed to always listening for any sign that Sarah needed him, and he woke up with a low grumble. It took him a moment to realize what he did in his sleep, and once he did, Joel shot awake.

“Shit,” he muttered as he pushed himself off of you, “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“It’s ok, Joel,” you whispered as you turned over and faced him. I don’t mind, you thought to yourself but didn’t voice out loud.

He looked flustered, even as sleep clung to his features. As you took in the sight of him in the moonlight, you noticed the mess of his hair and the softness around his eyes. And it only made Joel more beautiful to you.

“I uhh,” he started, unsure of what to say to break the tension that hung between the two of you.

“Joel…” you started, also unsure of what to do. Part of you screamed to confess your feelings, but the other part was scared of what that would mean. “He was you.”

“What?” Joel asked as he shifted to sit up in bed.

“The hero of the story, the blacksmith that falls in love with the princess and saves her,” your voice was meek as you confessed, “I based him off of you,” slowly, your eyes turned to meet his.

Joel whispered your name, “Listen I…”

You stared deep into his eyes as he struggled to find the right words. Joel’s gaze darted around the room until it landed in your face, and instead of voicing it with words, Joel turned to action. He scooted himself closer to you and cupped your face in his large hand. It was warm, and you let out a breath as you leaned into his touch.

Joel pulled your face close to his until his lips hovered over yours, “You know you can stop me, right?” his voice was low as he whispered against your skin.

“I know,” you replied in just as soft a voice as you made no move to stop him.

A smirk lit up his face for a moment before he closed the small space between your faces, taking your lips with his in a soft yet heated kiss. You leaned into him as you reached out and clung to his shoulders and parted your lips to deepen the kiss- an invitation he eagerly took.

Things quickly heated up from there as Joel groaned into you, kissing you passionately. All the tension from the unspoken emotions melted away as your tongues tangled together. Neither of you needed the words spoken out loud- the kiss told more than enough for both of you.

Joel gently pushed you down onto your back as he climbed over you, all the while never breaking away from your lips. You moaned into him as you let him take control. The feeling of Joel on top of you was even better than when he held you in his sleep. Before you even realized your movements, you bucked your hips into his, signaling you wanted… needed more.

“I got you, baby,” Joel groaned softly into your ear as he kissed his way down your neck, tugging at your clothes as he did so.

“Joel…” you moaned as your eyes fluttered shut and inch after inch of your skin was exposed to him.

“Shit baby,” Joel growled as he slipped his own t-shirt off, “You’re gorgeous,” his tone was low as he pushed his sweat pants down, freeing his cock.

Your eyes snapped open as you saw Joel, bare before you. Your lips parted as a heavy breath escaped your lips and you drank in the sight of him. The moonlight highlighted his features perfectly, and he looked more handsome than ever.

“So are you, Joel,” you breathed as you tried to push yourself onto your elbows and reach for him.

He took your hands gently and guided you back down onto your back, “Let me, sweetheart.”

A whimper escaped your lips as he settled between your parted legs, wriggling himself down your body and kissing every inch of skin on the way. Joel took his time, gently kneading and kissing your breasts, worshiping your body as he made his way to your pussy.

You quickly turned into a moaning, whimpering mess as Joel’s tongue ran along your nipple while his rough hands cupped your breasts. Already, he made you feel so good, but the more he kissed your skin, the more your need grew. Thankfully, though Joel didn’t rush, he still knew what you wanted and he broke away from your breast with a pop before he knelt down between your legs.

He paused and looked back up at you for a moment, and his cock twitched with desire as he saw the lustful look on your face. Your mouth hung open to let the heavy breaths out, and laying naked in the moonlight you never looked more stunning to him.

“I’m gonna take care of you, baby,” he groaned before he dove into your body.

You couldn’t even answer when you felt his hot tongue on your folds, licking and sucking at your pussy with fervor. Any thoughts vanished and all you could think of was Joel and how good his tongue felt. Your head dropped back and you screamed with pleasure, your hands clinging and clawing on Joel’s bare shoulders.

Joel slurped loudly as he let himself go. Any inhibition was gone the moment he tasted you, and instantly he was addicted. And the sounds you made only added to the moment. Joel only got harder and harder the louder you cried out. His hands grabbed onto your thighs, kneading your soft flesh as he kept them parted wide.

“Fuck… Joel…” tears filed your eyes as your body felt like it was floating.

He groaned into you and only licked harder and faster at your clit, determined to send you over the edge. As much as Joel wanted to talk you through your climax, he couldn’t break away from you even if it were for his last gasp of air. No, Joel wasn’t going to break away until you came into his mouth.

Joel didn’t have to wait long, though, and with just a few more precise flicks of his tongue, you came hard, screaming loudly. One hand flew into his hair, tugging at the thick locks while your legs shook on either side of him. Joel’s hips bucked against the bed on their own, field by your moans and screams as you rode out your climax on his face.

With a loud gasp, Joel finally let go of your pussy. His hands stayed on your legs as he watched you come down from your high, his eyes blown dark and wide with need. Heavy breaths from both of you filled the room as Joel stared at you.

When you finally opened your eyes, you let out a sharp breath before you froze under his gaze. Joel never looked at you like that before, though you imagined that look on his face a hundred times before.

“Joel…”

He pounced forward, taking your lips with own, cutting off whatever you were going to say. Both of you moaned into each other as you clung to the other in your feverish kiss. Joel took the opportunity while you were lost in the kiss to flip your bodies over in one swift movement. You yelped into his mouth as you suddenly found yourself straddling him, looking down on his handsome face.

“Are you sure?” you asked in a whisper, feeling nervous about being on top of Joel.

“I’m sure, baby,” Joel groaned as his hands caressed up and down the sides of your body, “Let me see you ride me, baby.”

The twitch of his cock against your body made you whine, and any insecurities you had disappeared. Placing a hand on his chest, you leaned forward and took his cock with your free hand. Joel’s eyes went wide and he let out a low groan as he watched the moonlight highlight your pussy as you hovered over him.

Joel moaned your name as his hands went to your hips, giving them a squeeze before he helped guide you onto his length. Your eyes met his for a moment before you looked back down, watching as you slowly sank down on the thick length.

His eyes never left you, and he gritted his teeth as the tip of his cock entered your body. Your heat engulfed him, and he couldn’t help the groan he let out as more and more of you wrapped around his cock. You hissed as you adjusted to the stretch, but Joel murmured encouraging words in a low tone to help.

“Look at you, baby. Takin’ me so good like that,” Joel growled, “Fuck you’re so beatiful…”

As your hips met his, you let out a loud gasp as he filled you more than you had ever been filled before. “Fuck… Joel…” you moaned as your eyes fluttered shut as you slowly rocked your hips back and forth.

“Shit, sweetheart,” Joel’s grip tightened on your hips. Caressing your body, Joel’s hands moved back to your ass, squeezing it even harder and making you moan. “That’s it, baby.”

You blinked your eyes open for a moment before shutting them again. All you could do was moan; words failed you. Slowly at first, you lifted your hips a bit before lowering them again, causing you both to gasp. Joel grunted as you repealed the action.

“Fuck…” you moaned as you picked up your pace.

Leaning forward, your hands landed on Joel’s chest, gripping his pecs as you rode him faster and harder. Already sensitive from having cum once, it took you no time to feel the tingle build from the base of your spine as Joel’s cock entered you over and over again.

“Joel… I’m gonna…”

“Fuck… Me too, baby,” Joel’s hands ran up your sides to grab you and yank you down.

Crashing your lips together, Joel thrust his hips up into you from below, matching your rhythm as your climaxes quickly built until you both exploded at the same time. He swallowed the moan you let out as your body trembled overtop of him and your inner muscles squeezed his cock. Joel grunted as he gave one last harsh thrust and came right after you, spilling himself into you as he held you tightly.

With one last heavy breath, both you and Joel flopped down onto the mattress in a heaving, sweaty mess. You rested on his broad chest, feeling his pounding heartbeat against your ear. Neither of you moved for several moments, just savoring the connection you still had as your breathing returned to normal.

“Hang on, baby,” Joel broke the silence as he wrapped his arms around you once more, “I got you.”

You whimpered as he slid out of you, but you never left Joel’s embrace. He settled you next to him, much like you were before. Only this time, you faced him, and Joel held you with intention. The two of you slipped into place as if you had been together for years. It just felt right… for both of you.

“Joel,” you whispered as sleep started to take you, “I…” you let out a soft snore before you could finish your thought.

Joel grinned as he kissed the top of your head and whispered to your sleeping form, “I know, baby,” he spoke lowly, “Me too.”

Sarah let herself in with her key and bounced up the stairs. Fully expecting to find Joel alone, she burst his door open and loudly announced, “Dad, I’m home,” before she froze in her tracks. She was taken by surprise to find you in her father’s bed, snuggled close in his arms.

Joel gasped awake and shot upright, “Sarah!” he glanced over and made sure you were covered as you too woke up with a gasp, “What are you doing home so early?”

“It’s noon,” she replied with a mischievous smirk, “It’s about time you two had your own sleepover.”

“Sarah…” Joel chastised her, but she already left the room.

Joel collapsed back down onto the bed with an exasperated sigh, “Shit,” he mumbled before he turned to you and met your gaze. The two of you stared at each other in silence for a moment before you both burst into laughter. He pulled you close and placed a soft kiss on your forehead before leaning you down onto his chest.

“Guess we should get up, huh?” you asked with a soft giggle.

“Yeah,” Joel agreed as he reluctantly let you go.

As you both dressed with your back to each other, your glance over and your breath caught in your chest as you saw Joel’s bare back in the sunlight. He must have felt your eyes on him, or he wanted to sneak a glance at you too, because he looked over his shoulder right after you did. Smirks lit up both your faces as you went back to dressing.

“Hey Joel,” you broke the silence this time.

“Hmm?”

“Thanks,” you spoke in a hushed tone, “For everything.”

Joel finished dressing and walked around the foot of the bed to take you in his arms once more, “You aint never gotta thank me for anything, baby,” he murmured, “I’ve always got you.”

You smiled and closed your eyes contently, “I picked the right man for my hero then… blacksmith.” you snickered at your modern day hero.

“Yeah, yeah,” Joel rolled his eyes playfully as you both took your first steps to the bright future.

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p1nk-ang3l-games · 7 days ago

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heyyyy couple of things to warn you about, you don’t have to reply to this btw

above your posts that have triggering topics, like suicide with the yandere alphabet, add a bold text that says trigger warnings: or TW: suicide, self harm, etc. just anything that could be triggering lol, it didn’t bother me at all, but some people on here get really upset over it

you can also add a “read more” cut to your posts to they have to click on that before they continue reading, it’s the grey squiggly line thing in your post options

create a tag for your head cannons, asks, random thoughts, reblogs, fan art reblogs, anything of the sort, you can name them literally whatever: #yhjbasks #jaycethots WHATEVER LMAO, it makes it easier for people to navigate your blog to see specific posts!

you can pin posts as well! so if you create a whole info post with your links and info about the game you can pin it, I think it’s the 3 dots on the post then pin

idk why but some people on here are just rude for no reason, so prepare for that when you start to get more traction, we all love the game tho so don’t listen to them 💋 this is your game you don’t have to change it for anyone else

you can block people on anon! so if someone’s being awful like I said, you just go to their anon message, click the dots I think, and block

oh another thing, your account is basically shadow banned for the first week or so after creation, so your posts won’t show up on any feeds or dashboards for a bit, they also won’t show up if you don’t use regular tags (not the blog specific ones I mentioned before)

the general rule with that is keep your head cannons and other things like asks to blog specific tags, and things like game info like the main post you can add tags like #visual novel #yandere #dating sim etc.

oh and emoji anons are just anons that leave like a signature at the end of their asks! like -💔, some people also like to do words, you can make a tag with that emoji/word like #💔 or #💔anon so you can filter every ask they made but it’s not mandatory lol

you can make your following and likes private in settings, but you don’t have to

MAKE SURE YOU TURN OFF THE AI INFO GATHERING IN SETTINGS AS WELL! I think it’s under your blog settings not your account settings, and it’s an opt in opt out slider

you can add featured tags in your blog settings as well, so like those blog specific tags or whatever you want

you can turn on mature content in settings as well, so it shows up on your feed, it’s auto blocked otherwise I think

non sexual nudity is allowed on tumblr now I think, but you should probably check out the rules for yourself because I’m not so sure, but if you ever wanted to post a jayce nude just make sure he’s not actively fucking lmao

you can make a yhjb community on here! you could make it or I’m sure someone else will, it’s just like a group that people can post in about the game or post fan arts etc

you can add your posts/answers to a queue and have them automatically post at a certain time if that’s something you want

oh you can add a side blog to your main blog, you don’t have to make a new account for a new blog, I’d recommend taking the name “yourherojayceblackwood” on a side blog because of scammers

I also recommend not using tumblr drafts lol, if you leave posts with bigger word counts in there they have a habit of disappearing

If it gets too overwhelming or you need to catch up, you can turn your ask box off for a bit in settings, you’ll still keep all of your previous asks but no one will be able to send in anymore until you turn it back on

anyway like I said you don’t have to reply to this, just giving you a little info on this hellsite

welcome to tumblr 😈

THIS IS SO HELPFUL BECAUSE I LITERALLY HAVENT USED TUMBLR IN LIKE 10 YEARS. Omg bless, thank you sooooooo much for all of this info! I'll definitely do a bit more work with this tumblr and fix it up like you suggested. THIS HELPED SO MUCH OMG THANK YOUUUUU!!

#YHJBask

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markerexposed · 1 month ago

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// Heyyyyy

I made a post on my private a bit ago and my brain was like 'you gotta do this now or you're never going to do it and keep being unhappy on your other blog', so here we are.

So, I probably won't be able to change the name of this blog until tomorrow. xkit is still going through my likes and deleting them takes forever. (Reminder to myself here to rather comment posts than liking them in the future.) I mean, it's late anyway and I haven't really figured a decent new name yet to be quite honest. So starting to change the blog's theme tonight makes no sense, either. Yeah well, muses-inn-a is now markerexposed~

Anyway, I softblocked loads of blogs, currently deleting all my likes and deleted like 98% of my posts here. That's me saying I'm returning to this blog, but I will only keep Isaac and Carver around as my muses in the future. I will also keep Sakyr, over at @aetherpotions. So, 3 active muses in total. I will also only selectively reach out and inform people who unfollowed me here. The people I softblocked are welcome to reach out again if they still want to write with me, I just felt like they might be no longer interested with me writing only those 2 muses now here. ^^"

I'm doing these drastic changes for my own wellbeing, and I should have done it like this when I decided to move blogs a few months ago. I just didn't have the backbone to do it properly and I'm sorry about that (you know, for moving around between my blogs like a blog hopper now due to this which I haaaaate...)

But, I am confident in keeping Isaac and Carver around because I feel very comfortable writing them and adjusting them to AUs and Crossovers without feeling insecure or having second thoughts about my portrayals 24/7. I also want to expand on them in-depth, working actively on their verses and relationships. And it's just easier to do this with 2 muses than a whole load of them.

I also want to have a more consistent writing pace again, but I can't do that when I feel constantly like I'm drowning or unsure where to even start when I come online here. I have had trouble lately getting anything done on my blogs and approaching people was a pain because, uuuh... which muses? What plot? What sort of relationships? I had drafts I should have replied to but no inspiration for them. Too many options, not nearly enough communication. I just felt stuck and overwhelmed.

Having this set up now here as it is makes me feel already so much better tbh. The banners still need some tweaking, but I do that when I get home after work.

#PSA #Blog Update

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jimmytwoshoesmovie · 2 months ago

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hey. are you doing okay? it's been years since you last posted here.

Sorry I took a few days to reply to this, I knew it’d be a long response so I wanted to wait until I had the time to write it out.

To answer your question, I’d say I’m doing alright. Certainly better than I was last year, at least. To everyone else who doesn’t even remember who the Miseryville I am, hi! My name is ToraNova (T.N.), though these days I’ve also started going by Zecil (like “Cecil” but with a Z). In 2010, as I was graduating high school, 4chan’s /co/ (Cartoons & Comics) board introduced me to a Canadian cartoon called Jimmy Two-Shoes. (This was back when 4chan wasn’t one of the most wretched hives of scum and villainy on the internet… at least not all the boards)

Instantly I fell in love with JTS. The show reminded me a lot of the Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, which along with Invader Zim was my favorite cartoon in high school, while at the same time having this completely unique vibe that I haven’t seen replicated by another animated series before or since. I wanted to gush about it to everyone I could, the only problem was nobody had heard of it.

So purely in an attempt just to get more people to watch it, I set up the Miseryville TV YouTube channel in November of 2010, when YouTube itself was only 5 years old and couldn’t have been more different from the platform we know it as nowadays. I maintained and uploaded every episode of the series to this channel until it was cancelled in 2012. Even though it was originally started by me, someone who was just a fan, I’m so happy it later got the blessing of those on the official JTS crew and still remains how an immense amount of people have discovered and watched JTS to this day.

Ideas for what would eventually become Misery Loves Company, aka the Jimmy Two-Shoes Movie Project, started around 2011 if I remember correctly. But I wouldn’t say it really became what we currently know it as until around 2013. The first post on this blog is dated 2014 but I know I was working on it earlier than that.

During this time I had two very close friends, let’s call them A and B. I’d introduced them to JTS and it quickly became one of their favorite cartoons as well. Both A and B were fantastic artists and wonderfully creative people, even more than I felt like I was, despite the fact I was the one currently going to an art college to get a degree in animation. I would bounce a lot of ideas for MLC off of them, they’d draw stuff related to it, which then inspired me even further. Before I knew it they’d ended up contributing so much more to the project than I was ready to admit.

Then, in 2015, we had a huge falling out that was so devastating to my mental health that I actually ended up in the hospital for a while. By the time I started to recover, A and B had basically resolved to never speak to me again. It almost made me never want to think about this project or JTS as a whole ever again.

Luckily, I happened to meet new fans and make new friends who also loved the show through tumblr and discord, which saved it from being ruined for me and saved MLC by extension. Over the next 4 years I continued to slowly work on it when I had the chance or felt inspired to do so. Having already written the outline, I made it my goal to finish and release the first draft of the screenplay for the movie on February 13th, 2019, the show’s 10 year anniversary.

That’s when I started thinking about A and B again. Every time I’d sit down to work on the script, I’d remember what happened, all the stupid and terrible things I did and mistakes I made that led to me destroying our friendship. Unable to separate them from MLC and overwhelmed by the feeling of being a horrible person, I wasn’t making any progress. At that point, I realized I had no other choice but to put this project 9 years in the making on indefinite hiatus, until if or when I was able to deal with those feelings.

I seriously can’t believe that was 6 years ago already. I can’t believe I started this blog and this project in general over a decade ago. Honestly maybe the less I think about that the better LOL

Incidentally, it was only last year that I discovered that someone had not only added this project to the Fanfic Recommendations section of JTS’s TV Tropes page, but MLC itself even has its own page. I remember freaking out and showing all my friends and being so ridiculously flattered when I found out, it was genuinely one of the best things that happened to me in 2024, which was otherwise one of the absolute worst years of my life. So I can’t even express just how insanely grateful I am that there are folks out there who went to the effort to make something like that. It meant so much to me in a time when I perhaps needed it most.

Now here we are in 2025. JTS has been a part of my life for the past 15 years and for the first time probably since it was on TV, it’s getting attention again thanks to Edward Kay finally releasing the infamous “pilot” (or “demo” as Sean Scott referred to it as), which many people including myself were previously convinced didn’t even actually exist. I’m quite glad to have been proven wrong though. It was really cool getting to see the concept animated the way Edward and Sean originally envisioned it.

It’s possible many people are now finding out about this project for the first time thanks to the pilot/demo being found. If that’s the case, hello and welcome! Hopefully this extremely long post has gotten you up to speed about who I am, my history with JTS, the history of the project, etc. With all that being said, I’m sure the question on everybody’s mind is this:

“What’s going on with Jimmy Two-Shoes: Misery Loves Company now? Will it ever be finished? Or have you given up on it?”

The thing is I don’t want to give up on it. I never did. But life happens, and boy has it ever been happening to me! So the answer to the second question is definitely no, but as for the first, for right now I feel like the most I can say is… maybe?

This might sound a little cringe but another reason I think I would like to eventually return to working on MLC is because of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. I love both those shows, with Hazbin in particular always having reminded me of JTS from the beginning. I don’t know if JTS was an inspiration for Vivienne at all but it’s always been the number one question I’d ask her if I ever got the chance to meet her.

I feel like MLC, and JTS overall, could find a new audience among Hellaverse fans, like it might also be something they’d really enjoy which makes me want to go back to it. There’s also the fact I initially wrote the story over 10 years ago and could definitely make improvements to it now.

I guess I need time to think about it. It’d be a big undertaking to commit to resuming work on this, and I have a lot of other things going on thanks to no longer being a college student in their early 20s and instead an adult in their 30s, but we’ll see.

Until then, stay AWES-MAZING my friends 💖

Love always,

~T.N. / Zecil

#update

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noxxytocin · 3 months ago

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So I seem to have picked up a little troll anon who’s been running around trying to claim I’m “pushing down other people’s works” on AO3 just because I posted an updates hub.

It’s completely misleading. I’ve never planned to add chapters to it, meaning it doesn’t bump or interfere with anyone’s work in the feed. ❤️

I even clearly tagged it as a “one-time popup” and made it very clear in both the summary and notes that it’s not a fanfic, but simply a central place for readers to keep up with upcoming fic updates, excerpts, and queue progress. Sadly, AO3 doesn’t have a built-in feature for that, so this was the easiest option available. (since not everyone sees updates on here)

Unfortunately, this person hasn’t stopped. They’ve since made an anonymous Tumblr account to post public misinformation and even commented under a PSA post of mine. So just a heads up to the HL fandom: if you see anon hate or strange comments floating around, you’re not imagining it. A friend of mine has been getting hit with troll anons too.

Their current alias is eleganttimemachinephantom. I’m sure it’s just an attention-seeking phase, but I figured I’d give others a heads-up in case you get one of their little drive-by comments too.

Stay safe out there, and don’t feed the trolls.

here’s what they commented on my PSA fandom etiquette post and on ao3 so far:

(note: I deleted their comments and my reply to them on ao3. Didn’t want their bad vibes there. Had to switch my hub to registered account only to comment.)

update: I did type down my draft reply before commenting on ao3, it was in my notes still. It was in response to the “please don’t put this in the ships…” -> “I want to address this properly, since I think there’s been a misunderstanding. First off, this isn’t a personal life blog post, and it’s not “just me yapping about my life updates.” If you had read the actual post, or even the opening notes, you’d have seen it’s an updates hub specifically for my fanfics, including progress, writing excerpts, queue, and occasional teaser lines from upcoming chapters. These are all tied directly to the fics I write, most of which feature the tagged ship. Second, regarding your claim that it “shouldn’t be on AO3 at all,” that’s simply incorrect. AO3’s own Terms of Service and FAQ on Types of Fanworks state that the Archive is intended for “transformative fanworks”, which includes not just fanfiction, but meta, fanart, podfic, fanmixes, and other creative content. Many users post fanart, playlists, interactive fics, and yes—even update hubs or companion content for ongoing works. AO3 permits this, as long as it’s labeled appropriately, which mine is. As for the ship tag: I’ve used it because all of the content in this hub relates to stories about that ship. The tag is not being abused for exposure; it’s being used for exactly what it was meant for��to group together works (or updates of works) involving a particular pairing. Not everyone checks external platforms like Tumblr, and AO3 unfortunately doesn’t provide an internal method for authors to post general fic updates across multiple works. This hub bridges that gap. Finally—if a post is clearly marked and transparent, and you simply don’t find it personally relevant, that’s entirely fair. But it doesn’t make it inappropriate. You’re always free to scroll past. Policing the presence of content you don’t care for…especially without reading it properly—helps no one.”

I also privately messaged them on tumblr with: “Hi. I noticed your comment on my PSA post, and since this seems to have become a personal issue for you, I’d prefer we discuss it respectfully and directly. To clarify: your claim that I’m pushing other works down in the tags by updating my AO3 update hub is factually incorrect. I’m not adding new chapters or reposting. I’m editing the existing page only. That doesn’t bump the work or affect its position in the feed. I took care to consider that specifically because I’m an author myself, and I respect the visibility of other creators’ works. So no, I’m not harming “discoverability.” That assumption comes from a lack of reading—which is unfortunately a recurring pattern in your responses so far. You chose to speak publicly without taking in all the context, and that’s what turns conversations like this into needless drama. If you’re genuinely interested in dialogue, I’m open to that, but please don’t go around accusing people of doing harm without verifying your claims first. It helps no one, and it undermines your own credibility. If you’d like to have an honest discussion, feel free to do so from a legitimate account instead of repeatedly hiding behind anonymity. Until then, I see no reason to entertain bad faith comments any further. Blocking you now.”

this is the fic updates hub that I posted on ao3 (for reference):

#stay safe out there #troll in the dungeon #hogwarts legacy

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palms-upturned · 1 year ago

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PSA

Hello friends, I’m sorry for being mostly offline for a little while, I’ve been struggling a bit. Please rest assured that I’m going to try to get everything running again ASAP, but here’s a short version of what’s going on.

At the moment, I’m unemployed due to my disability and trying to get a lot of things sorted out in the bursts of time when I feel well enough. I am fairly certain that my pain and fatigue is being caused by sciatic endometriosis that was made worse by a covid infection, but it’s going to take me a while to get diagnosed and (hopefully) treated. In the meantime, my pain flareups are unfortunately getting worse and more frequent. What this means is that unfortunately I have stretches of time where I have a hard time talking to people or even thinking straight. Some of the medicines I take for my pain also make me drowsy which makes things even harder on top of it all.

I’m going to continue promoting fundraisers, but I feel very bad that these periods of time are becoming longer and more frequent because every day of fundraising is critically important. So what I’d like to ask is whether any of my friends/mutuals here would be interested in helping me run @vetted-gaza-funds so that even when I’m not well, at least that blog can stay up to date. There are currently over 100 fundraisers posted there, and as more get added, the more time it takes me to update the master list, update urls for users who were forced to remake their blogs, and work through the inbox for new campaigns. Trying to push through on days when I don’t feel well has already resulted in some really stupid mistakes like accidentally deleting the original master list post, and I really don’t want to do something like that again.

One friend of mine has already volunteered to help, which I’m very thankful for, but if I could find maybe five more people, then that would mean one mod for every day of the week, which would hopefully mean that it wouldn’t be too large a commitment for anyone. The more the merrier, basically.

So to break things down, here’s what I would be doing:

Creating a discord server for the blog mods

Looking through the inbox each day for new campaigns to add

Cross referencing those campaigns on master lists/spreadsheets to see which ones are already verified and can be shared

Adding the campaign links, usernames, and other relevant information to a cryptpad document for people to plug into a post/add to the master list

Here’s what I would need help doing:

Making the actual posts on the blog (there is a template in the drafts that I use to make them)

Updating the fund amounts/progress in the master list, ideally every day

If comfortable, briefly answering direct messages to let people know when their campaigns have been added to the blog

Also, so far the blog has just been full of fundraisers for people who have contacted me directly, but if anyone helping with the blog has verified fundraisers that they themselves would like to add, of course that would be great as well!

If you’re interested in helping me out, please dm me or reply to this post! (I’d prefer not to talk via asks because when I answer asks privately I don’t have any record of our conversation and I can be forgetful 😅)

Thank you all 🙏 today I’m unfortunately still not feeling well so I may be slow to respond but I will try to answer messages and get everything set up asap!

#meg talks #this would also help me with being able to answer requests to spotlight specific fundraisers here on my main blog more often #the way things are rn it’s easy enough to reblog posts that im tagged in #but writing original posts for multiple people daily and answering the asks in my inbox here is not as easy 😅#idk i feel very whiny about it all especially when ppl in gaza are fighting through far worse conditions than i am #but i can’t deny im hitting a wall and need help #and i figure that it’s better to ask for it than to continue being too slow to be helpful to others

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kiealer · 7 months ago

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

i'll be making my (hopeful) return soon! I'm still not sure what I'll do about my current drafts, but I'll try to reply to what I can the next time I sit down and get to work. I'll be splitting my attention between here and commission work, as well as a trip that my wife and I are taking in a couple weeks (which I will have to take a brief hiatus for when that pops up--)!

while I don't want to make this (or any) blog my top priority, I do want to be consistent in posting the replies I have -- might try to run on a queue system for awhile and see how it works. my biggest priority is going to be doing more and caring for my family, which means leaning more into commission work until / unless I can land a job. I love everyone here (very dearly), and I definitely want to keep writing! but I think I'll be a lot easier to reach through discord for more casual writing, if anyone decides they'd like to take up that route.

I appreciate everyone's patience with me, and the continued support. I want to get Ninazu back up and running soon, as well as doing more with my other girls in the future!

Here's to a new year, and to writing more together!

#║ ✰〳art.#[ it's not yet time but a. i might fall victim to my sleep schedule and fall asleep #b. i'll be spending the time with my wife if i DO stay up #and c. i'm impatient lmao ]

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gotstabbedbyapen · 1 year ago

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Hey Pen! Guess who just stumbled upon an old draft of theirs (that’s 85 pages-) and decided that it’d be better with another character! Unfortunately, they don’t know much about this new character, which is Apollo, and so they were hoping you could give them basics of the myths, your headcanons, and/or fics that you liked the characterizations of? It’s fine if not, I just felt that you’d be the first and easiest source to get this information from bc I just don’t know His character or His myths. Literally anything could help, even directing me to others that I could ask for help. I have written for him before and a lot of people liked it, this is just a much bigger project and I’d just love help and guidance :)

I am more than happy to help you with this! Sorry for the late reply because I have to do a bit research for this post 😅

But first, a quick disclaimer: I am not an expert on Apollo or Greek mythology in general, just an enthusiast who loves researching. All my claims should always be taken with a mountain of salt.

And a note for everyone else: @sleepdeprivationbutitsvaruna is hosting "The Greek Mythos Project", a fic series featuring many characters in Greek mythology. You can learn more about it in this post (or the official announcement on their project blog)

Now let's talk about Apollo!

Contrary to popular media presentations, Apollo isn't completely arrogant and self-centered. He is proud of his talents, yes, but he is also a loving, generous, and righteous god. He loves his family dearly, lavishes his partners with gifts and favors, and aids his people in many domains.

Of course, like other gods, Apollo has his wrathful moments but not without a reason. He doesn't only punish people for insulting him, but also those who hurt his loved ones or innocent commoners. This is why Apollo has the title of "Destroyer of Evil".

Apollo has many myths showcasing different aspects of him, so it's hard to boil him down to a single depiction - the one I just gave you is how I perceive him from my readings. For further research, I highly recommend the Theoi website, as it provides lots of Greek and Roman literature quotes that you can use as starting blocks. You can also check out @my-name-is-apollo's content, they have even more resources and insightful analyses about Apollo.

Aside from my literary view of him, I do have personal headcanons of Apollo that may or may not be relevant to his classical depiction. They are scattered ideas for now, and I will pin down a more concrete character for him in future works.

But to put it simply, I see Apollo as a golden god on the outside but a hurt child on the inside. Apollo's childhood trauma is what fueled his strive for perfection and, in an ironic twist, was the reason for his excel in arts (think of the quote "For the best is only bought at the cost of great pain" from The Thorn Birds)

There are also other wonderful takes on Apollo you can check out. The works that feature Apollo that I highly recommend are Apóllūmi by @hycinthrt, Retrograde by @starfanatic, and The Ungilded Version by MeZaKi93. Not to overly spoil your read, but I really want to talk a bit about them a bit!

Retrograde is the one that ignited and heavily influenced my HC of a traumatized Apollo trying to cover his past wounds with his "golden god" mask. The other two works have Apollo as calm, playful, and a caring figure to his loved ones. The Ungilded Version has Apollo as an amazing father, and Apóllūmi displays his role as the protector of children.

But that doesn't mean Apollo is 100% perfect in these works. He still has his flaws and selfish deeds, but that doesn't completely ruin his image in the story! You just fall in love with him more at how fleshed out he is!

And that is all I can help. Hope your writing process will be as smooth as possible and I will see you in the Greek mythology project ❤️

#apollo #greek gods #greek deities #greek mythology #writing #recommendations #ask me anything #tumblr ask #The Pen writes answering letters #The Pen explodes with ink

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headspacedad · 2 years ago

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so you're ready to socialize

You've got your blog set up. You've posted or reblogged something. Your icon isn't a faceless orange shape. You're no longer in danger of being blocked on sight as a bot.

Now what?

I recently got an ask in my inbox for help with this whole 'tumblr' thing. The person that asked me had a lot of the basics down so I focused on expanding your social circle - except it took me so long to write that I saved it in my drafts to add to and only then found out that once its in your drafts you can't reply privately.

so - Imma post it here without the actual ask so if the person didn't want to be mentioned they won't. Let's go!

First off, doing what you're doing right now by sending me an ask is a great way to get the ball rolling. Reaching out to other people and engaging them is a big part of how you can build a circle on tumblr.

You can do that with inbox messages.

You can do that with DM/PMs (the box that pops up to the side where you can have real time text conversations).

You can do that by reblogging other people's posts and leaving notes in the tags commenting about the post (most posters read these, though they're more for your followers to get your thoughts on a matter, like whispering in a movie theater except without the dirty looks)

reblog their post and add your own comments in the body of the post, basically chaining a response to their post, usually used when you've got something that adds to the original post like a continuation of the joke or more facts, etc.

and you can comment on the posts via the little speech bubble next to the reblog button, which is kind of like replying personally to the post (interacting with the poster themselves).

Not everyone will automatically engage in response. Some people are just here to chill and don't want to be social (some days I know I don't have the brainpower for it). A lot of people do want to be social though and so the more you comment outward the higher your chances of finding other people you can jive with. A good way to make your chances better at finding someone that will back and forth with you is over shared interests. We're a very interest based site. So find something you're excited about - maybe its a hobby like knitting, maybe its a streaming series like Good Omens, maybe its hamsters, maybe its Elizabethan neck ruffs! Whatever it is that you're interested in punch the words that will get those kinds of results into tumblr's search bar and look at the posts that come up. I tend to search by 'newest' instead of 'most popular' because it guarantees me people that are currently interested in whatever I am, who are actively putting their posts out there for others to find. Often if you start reblogging someone's posts, they'll see it and check out your blog. If you really want interaction though, the best way to go is one of the above bullet points, especially inbox or speech bubble commenting. It shows you want to talk about something they want to talk about too. A lot of times this is a great way to get more interaction with others and widen your circle (as well as find new stuff about something you enjoy). It might be slow going, I still haven't figured out what the magic is that gets someone a blow up of followers overnight, especially not the all important holy grail of Interactive followers but slow and steady still builds a good group of people you can enjoy sharing things everyone's interested in and it keeps growing over time.

This also works in reverse. A good chunk of my followers (friends honestly) come from my days in the Voltron fandom. I was VERY active making posts while the show was airing. Lots of fanfiction, lots of meta, lots of speculation, just lots of being loud and excited (and then loud and not excited). A lot of other people were interested in VLD too at the time and they found me and bounced off my ideas with ideas of their own and things really ballooned. To this day, a huge hard core of my social group are ex-VLD fans who have moved on to other things (mostly) but still hang around because we built that core and we enjoy seeing what the others in the group have moved onto and found to share with the team. So, again, find your interests and make posts about them so that other people with the same interests can find you. The more popular something is the more attention its going to get - but also the easier it is to get lost in the shuffle of everyone talking about a thing. Not every post is going to get responses. Sometimes I'll post something I think people will enjoy and get crickets. Sometimes everyone and their cousin jumps onboard. Don't get discouraged. DO use the tags. tumblr sucks when it comes to finding things in the tags but its still worth doing because sometimes, randomly and with no pattern, it doesn't suck. The first five tags are the really important ones. Make sure you put the biggest details there. For instance if you're making a post about the One Piece live action from Netflix your first five tags should be something like: one piece, opla, netflix, zoro, swords are cool. You want people looking for One Piece posts about Zoro and his swords to be able to find you easily. And, once they find you, hopefully to engage you about Zoro and his swords.

There are a lot of ways to find other people to interact with on tumblr. One of the pleasures of the site is you get to take things, for the most part, at your own pace and level of comfort. Just remember, the more active you are interacting with other people and their posts, the wider your circle will grow. Its not a 100% success rate, like I said, a lot of people are just here to vibe after a long day of having to be socially 'on' all day, but a lot of people are happy to find other people to get to natter about interests with. Do what you're comfortable with and before you know it, you'll have a group of people that interact with your posts, and you, regularly!

#tumblr #how to tumblr #getting started #lets get socializing!#answering asks #let's tumblr #finding friends #okay to reblog #feel free to add tips #and any help #or things that worked for you

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