#still winded from walking down the overly long ramp then tunnel then other ramp to the actual tracks tho

[snailvee]

didn’t have to sprint to make the train this time woooo

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Take Me to the Show

Adam stood behind me, arms wrapped around my waist, as I watched people hurry back and forth setting up the arena. We stood at the ringside area just behind the security railings. I was ten feet from a fully assembled wrestling ring and grinning like a fool.

           “This seat here is yours,” he said pointing down at a padded steel chair at the end of the row. “Front row seat. Best view in the house.”

           I looked up at him, knowing I was blushing brightly. “What should I expect from my first wrestling show?” I asked.

           “A hell of a lot of fun,” he replied grinning. “And we’re going to start you off good. Kenny and I are opening the show.”

           “Oh,” I said, lifting a brow. “Kenny’s here tonight?”

           Adam huffed and stepped back away from me. He did his best to look angry. “Just for that… you go up to the nosebleeds. Go on…” He reached around me and slapped me playfully on the ass. “Get.”

           Laughing, I sashayed past him. “Hey,” I shouted into the empty arena. “Cleaner! Omega! Where are you?”

           I swished my hips dramatically, grinning back over my shoulder at Adam. He was standing by the railing, arms crossed over his broad chest, an overblown frown on his face. I could tell he was trying not to laugh at my dramatics. Part of me hoped I could find Kenny, just to wind Adam up.

           “You called?” Kenny called, plopping down on the edge of the stage. He looked from me to Adam and back again. “Uh oh. Somebody’s unhappy.”

           Grinning, I leaned against the side of the ramp and looked up at him. “Oh, he’s just being grumpy.”

           “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” Kenny said playfully. He slid down from the stage and threw an arm around my shoulders.

           We practically waltzed toward where Adam was still standing near the barrier. His jaw was clenched, but it was clear that he was doing it on purpose to keep from laughing. Kenny walked up to his tag partner and planted a kiss on his cheek. The muscle in Adam’s jaw jumped. His eyes looked desperate to laugh.

           “Hmm,” Kenny mumbled, turning back to me. “That normally works. Let me see…” He turned around and gave me a loud, overly dramatic smack on the cheek. “Do you feel better?”

           “Very,” I replied, nodding.

           I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing as Kenny turned around, tapping his long fingers against his chin and wagging one in Adam’s face. It took a moment of prodding around the ribs for him to break. Laughter spilled out of Adam, making his blue eyes brighten and scrunch from the breadth of his grin.

           “Get over here, you,” he said to me, reaching out and snatching me from Kenny’s side. Adam tucked my hair behind my ears and cupped my face in his hands. His smile faded a little into seriousness. He sniffed and made a face. “Ew, Em. You smell like Omega now.”

           “Hey, I smell damn good,” Kenny shouted on his way to the back.

           Glancing up at Adam, I nodded as if Kenny had made a sound argument. “He really does.”

           Adam growled and tugged me close into his arms. He started nuzzling his jaw along my hair. He even lifted up his arm and tried to rub his armpit in my face. “Smell like me again, dammnit.”

           I giggled and tried my best to shove his arm back down. He was showing off his strength by making it exceedingly difficult. “Stop! Stop! I don’t want Hangman B.O. in my face.”

           “Just wait until after the match. I’ll show you B.O.”

           I turned and wriggled out of his grasp. I backed up, holding both hands out in front of me. “Please. I’ve smelled you after you’ve been mucking stalls.”

           He rolled his blue eyes and took a step toward me. “That’s Page B.O. Com-plete-ly different than Hangman B.O.”

           “That’s not how it works,” I squealed, looking behind me as I got near the stairs. I started up them sideways, keeping an eye on him.

           “That’s exactly how it works,” Adam said taking the stairs two at a time.

           I darted down a row, doing my best to make sure that I didn’t fall and hurt myself. “I swear to God, Adam Page, I will murder you in your sleep and put you in the woodchipper.”

           “Don’t be like that. You know I wanna be fed to a tiger.”

           That was enough to make me stop dead. I pointed at him, shrieking as if I’d figured out a horrible secret. “I knew it! I knew you watched it. Without me!”

           He stopped, holding his arms out toward me. “Don’t be like that, Em. I couldn’t help it. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

           I sighed and rolled my eyes. But I let him get close enough to wrap my arms around his waist. I made to nuzzle into his chest when he promptly shoved his armpit in my face again then dashed off laughing like a maniac.

***

           Adam wasn’t lying about it being a hell of a lot of fun. The people started pouring in—every single seat in the building had been sold out. Around seven-thirty, Brandon Cutler and Peter Avalon came out and had the warm-up match. It was the first time I’d ever seen a wrestling match up close, and it was almost better than seeing it on TV. Sure, there were some things that were hard to follow, but hearing the noise of the ring and the blows… there wasn’t anything like it.

           It was abundantly clear when the show began. The theme music blared through the arena. People screamed and shouted, held up signs. A couple people around me had signs that said Hangman, Drink My Beer. At least two people in my row had them, as well as a pristine beer can at their feet. Which, I assumed, explained why Adam had asked me to buy a beer at the concession stand even though he knew I wasn’t a fan it.

           “Trust me,” he’d said as he dropped a kiss on my forehead before heading backstage.

           The show began with the entrance of a tag team named S.C.U.. I couldn’t help but bob my head at their music. It was pretty cool, and I had to admit that the trio that came out looked like they could give Kenny and Adam a run for their money. They set themselves up in the corner directly opposite me.

           Techno sounding music spilled into the arena. When I looked toward the entrance, I saw Kenny’s face splashed across the two huge screens. He came out in these horrible tights and a jacket with a single black feathered wing sewn on it. The tag belt was around his waist. He stopped at the top of the ramp and lifted his arms, pointing upward. Pyro went off, popping so loud I thought I’d go deaf. I watched with admiration as he trash-talked his way to the ring and climbed in. I lost track of the rest of his entrance as more familiar music began.

           I loved Adam’s theme song. The first time I’d heard it, I knew it was a perfect fit for him. And the video was awesome too. Adam sauntered out of the tunnel and stopped at the top of the ramp. He looked around and threw his fist into the air, setting off another round of pyro. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he looked angry. But I knew that was just his game face.

           But Lord Jesus have mercy, he looked good in that vest and those trunks. I could feel heat running up into my cheeks. Maybe I needed to come to see him wrestle more often.

           The match started off fast and brutal. Kenny started out against the other side. It was hard to follow since things were happening so quickly. Plus, Adam had made sure to stand right in front of me. Which made it very easy for me to get distracted by his ass.

           But when he got in the ring… it was magical. He was quick and strong, agile and more acrobatic that I expected. When he climbed to the top of the ropes and did a backflip off into his opponents, I screamed and put my hands over my mouth. He sauntered back and forth in the space between the ring and the security barrier, winking when he caught sight of me.

           A moment later, he was dragging his opponent back into the ring. He tagged Kenny, who hopped the top rope and delivered a wicked looking knee to the face. Adam had been leaning against the ropes, catching his breath. As soon as Kenny was out of the way, Adam took two or three running steps and somersaulted backwards, landing hard on his opponent’s midsection. He rolled out of the way as Kenny went in for the cover.

           Three seconds later it was over. Kenny and Adam stood in the middle of the ring, arms raised, belts in hand. I jumped up and down, squealing and screaming with pride. Adam was amazing. I’d never imagined that it was like this. I could understand why he said it was an addicting profession.

           As they rolled out of the ring, people held up their signs and shoved unopened beer cans over the railing. Adam grabbed two of them on his way by and looked as if he was going to walk right past me. He stopped, his face taking on a comical expression of interest as he backed up. He sat the cans down on the ground and leaned his forearms against the railing in front of me. I recognized the look in his eyes. That playful, flirtatious look that never failed to get me weak in the knees.

           “Hey there, darlin’,” he cooed, making a show of looking me up and down. “Mind if I have a sip of that beer?”

           I grinned and handed it over to him. “Thank ya kindly,” he said, taking the cup from my hand and downing it in one go. I watched some of it run down his chin and drip onto his chest. I pinched my thigh to keep myself from completely loosing my cool.

           Adam tossed the cup over his shoulder, took a deep breath, and shrugged. Then he slung an arm around my waist, dragged me close, and planted a very thorough kiss on me right in front of the cameras. He turned and snatched up his discarded bandana from the steps and handed it to me. Grinning madly, he picked up his beers, tipped one up at me in salute, popped the top and did his best to drink it and walk the ramp at the same time.

***

           “My God,” I said a few hours later as we rode back to the hotel. “You weren’t kidding. Hangman B.O. is way worse.”

           He laughed… that deep throated, completely free laugh that could make me happy on the worst of days. “I told ya.”

           “But I have to admit, you look kinda sexy out there, cowboy.”

           “Damn straight I do,” he replied, reaching for my hand and kissing my knuckles, grinning all the while.

[whitewolfbumble]

The Fallout - Part Four (Bucky x Reader)

Summary: You had been a ghost for years, taking down the bad guys from the shadows that had once enslaved you. That is until the Avengers finally caught up with you and yet again your life changed. But your past won’t stay dead and everything starts to shift when a familiar face joins the ranks: Bucky Barnes. He may not remember you, but you certainly remember him.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: About 4k

Warnings: Slow burn, language, intense and gory violence, graphically depicted fight scenes, death, threats of rape, vague depiction of suicide (? depends how you read it, message me if you want me to sum it up for you just in case)

A/N: Okay, so this one gets violent, aka people die here. I love the idea of this part and how it visually plays in my head but I wasn’t overly a fan of writing it. Considering the POV for this I wrote it somewhat clinically and tried to keep the gore down, but considering the content... you be the judge. Also fight scenes are HARD and I would appreciate any feedback!!

Speaking of, I really love you guys. Thank you for reaching out to me with how much you’ve enjoyed this story, for liking, for reblogging, or for wanting to be tagged. It gives me the warm and fuzzies and seriously motivates me. If you enjoy this part please let me know!

MY MASTERLIST // THE FALLOUT MASTERLIST // PART THREE

You squinted in the sun, feeling the morning heat start to build in the air around you, breaking up the cool dawn air that was dissipating fast.

“I’m grounded. Voluntarily. He can go, but I’m not shifting my focus,” you reiterated for the fifth time that day. “It’ll give me some time alone to make a proper plan.”

It was a bit of a weird turn out all-in-all, but you stood by your words.

“Which, okay, again, makes no sense here,” Tony said walking up from behind you, ready to go with the others on the quinjet.

Everyone had made some kind of comment as they walked onto the jet in the warm morning air, and you were relieved that he was the last of them. This was definitely the last time you waved them off for a mission.

“He has a point, Y/N,” Bucky himself said.

You and he had walked here together but he had yet to get on, hair blowing in the wind and metal arm practically blinding in the sun.

“Ah, you’re finally learning,” Tony said to Bucky. “Yes, you’re right, I am in fact the smartest, most logical, and in this case certainly the rightest here.”

You rolled your eyes at the pomp and Bucky looked unimpressed.

“You were Hydra," Tony said exaggeratingly, as though you for one second of your life forgot that fact. "And this is a Hydra base. You’re all over this shit normally. We can’t pry you off of this stuff.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, looking at him dully. “So, I join in your merry band and what? Take down the villain of this tale? And then get completely caught up in the terror of it all and lose what my focus should be. Because trust me, Hydra will always be out there for me to fight. Or how about I go in, step on the Hulk's toes- thus killing us all- because there will be six Avengers in one teeny tiny tunnel together doing basic recon?”

You stood, arms crossed and eyebrows raised, giving Tony quite the look.

“You make a decent point," he tried to counter, walking backwards towards the open jet ramp. "But we’re going to the base, not the tunnels.”

“The base is underground Tony, I didn’t forget,” you said, continuing dismissively. “But yeah, cool, have a great time. I’ll hold down our home base tonight.”

Man, this had gotten repetitive. You were glad to finally see the backside of Tony as he strolled on the quinjet with a shrug.

Bucky was the last one on the platform with you, waiting at your side for a moment. He stood there watching you with those blue eyes of his, like you were going to change your mind and follow after him. You briefly wondered if that was what he wanted you to do. But eventually with a pointed nod from you, he got the drift and turned to join the Team. He didn’t say a goodbye, just nodded to you as the quinjet door closed.

You walked back to the door from the helipad, waiting as the buzzing roar from the jet sounded and in one smooth motion was airbourne, flying towards the sun and away from you and the Avengers Tower. Lingering outside you didn't so much feel the sun on your skin, but a bit of a storm inside you.

Your reasons for not going weren’t stupid or insane (unlike the Team thought), just not exactly usual for you.

Guaranteed, you would have become obsessed and tried to figure out the puzzle of what was going on, as you always did with Hydra. There was certainly no love lost between you, and for a long time trying to take them down was like the air your breathed: necessary and life-giving.

Hydra was predictable to you in a lot of ways and without you being involved and seeing it first hand, you couldn’t tell what was happening. Maybe you could’ve figured it out too. But then you would have spent every waking hour pouring over everything and hitting up (as in literally fighting) old underworld organizations for intel. It would mean ignoring the outwardly frivolous time with Bucky that ultimately seemed internally fruitful. And that wouldn’t last forever so it was time to think of a plan now anyways.

But also you were a stubborn and resolute kind of person. It was the only reason why you were alive now. And you had told the Team you weren’t going, that you were out for this mission. And you couldn’t go back on your word no matter how much you wanted too.

The Team was more than capable of handling themselves anyways and you knew they would succeed. Even if it went against every fighting instinct in your body not to jump on that jet.

Gritting your teeth in resolve you shifted your focus, finally having a night to yourself which never happened. You might as well enjoy it for all it’s worth, huh?

_______

Despite the potential activity that had popped up overnight that prompted this mission, to Bucky and the rest of the Team, the base had looked to be unused and abandoned. It had been fruitless, and certainly not worth the whole team going, just as you had pointed out earlier.

Sam was still away, and Vision and Wanda had “separately” taken a personal leave a few days ago, each spouting some kind of see-through excuse. Even Bucky knew they were together at this point, but everyone had feigned ignorance, playing along with the facade that they knew nothing.

Clint had dropped off the Team at the Tower before leaving himself in the jet, though Bucky didn’t know where and no one asked.

It was dark, with the cool night air settling in by the time they got back. Bucky stepped off the quinjet with the rest and looked around to see if you were there to greet them as you had seen them off.

But there was no sign of you. Maybe your resolution to stay out of the way of this mission went deeper than he figured. He thought you would even just casually want to know how it went.

Bucky wondered if you’d be frustrated that nothing happened, or frustrated if the Hydra agents were there and that you yourself weren’t there to take them down. Either way, he was curious on how you would respond.

You must be curious about it. Maybe this was a demonstration to the Team how supposedly “disinterested” you were. Which was a total lie. He and everyone else could see the glint of regret that crept into your determined eyes when you adamantly refused to join in. 

As Bucky stepped into the calm, clean hallways of the Tower, he decided even if you weren’t here to hear about this mission, he would fill you in sometime when you were alone so the others wouldn’t know.

After changing clothes he made his way down to the kitchen, assuming you’d be there with a cup of tea and a book.

But the kitchen was dark and quiet. He debated making you a cup again, knowing how you took your tea, but was inexplicably impatient to see you. He dismissively blamed it on this being the first day in a while both not having you near and having to deal with the team himself without you as a buffer of sorts.

Making his way to the lounge area he figured perhaps you were relaxing there. With the both of you sleeping in the same bed together (Bucky tried not to dwell on how that sounded), you had abandoned your nightly routine of training for hours until your collapsed in exhaustion. Instead, now you both trained together for most of the mornings and ended up in the kitchen or lounge at night, settling into an easy silence or quiet reminiscing.

Walking up the glass-walled hallway Bucky noticed Steve, standing in his sweats having changed himself, unmoving. He was illuminated by a warm glow, staring through the glass wall into the room on the other side, still and silent.

“Hey, what—” Bucky said, walking around to Steve’s right side before cutting himself off.

The two out-of-time men stood in front of a floor to ceiling sheet of glass. It was two thick panels of bulletproof glass with a small gap between them. If you went up to the next floor, or down to the floor below, there would be that same glass running through. It was impossibly strong, needing the structural integrity to run through a few floors.

On the other side of that impenetrable glass lay the lounge area. Low modern couches with sleek leather and slick black coffees tables were in front of the massive TV screen, over by the corner that held shelves of books, and again on the far side of the room in front of the fireplace. There were two other doors in the room, one being the bathroom door and in the far left corner a door leading up to a large private balcony. Bucky remembered questioning the presence of a tub in the lounge bathroom, Y/N explaining that Tony like to fill it with ice and champagne for special (or not so special) occasions.

The room itself was at the corner of the building and massive floor to ceiling windows lined two of the walls, showing off the glittering city lights gleaming in the dark.

And, in the centre of this room, was you.

You were there, on your knees with hands bound behind your back, face and eyes emotionless, barely registering the sudden appearance of Steve and Bucky. Thirteen men clad in black holding weapons surrounded you, all of them facing the two Avengers looking in motionlessly.

They had been waiting.

And immediately the fight inside Bucky that he hated erupted in his chest.

“Intruders on the fifty-third,” Steve said low, hiding well his fear. “Thirteen total, carrying weapons, holding one hostage.”

As Bucky’s eyes stayed glued to you, he could see his own faint reflection in the glass, face contorting as a sudden unexpected rush of emotions slammed into him like a ton of bricks hitting his chest. Confusion, hatred, anger, and worry pounded in in a moment, body instantly tense at the sudden onslaught.

But the sudden conflict he felt inside was the one that sent his mind reeling the most. He struggled so deeply to not immediately start breaking the glass to get you the fuck out of there. Because he knew they would shoot you before he could break through. But the looks of it, everyone staring back at them knew it too.

Tony came first, literally flying down the hall fully suited up in his latest gleaming red and gold suit. Quickly he was followed by Thor and Natasha.

“Not a Code Green, Bruce. Stay back until called,” Natasha muttered in her comm to Banner. “… No, we’ll get nowhere if the building crashes down on us.”

“What have they said?” Tony said muted, helmet sliding back smoothly, face taunted and almost twitching with anger. His eyes were locked to yours too, but just like with Bucky you didn’t so much as blink in acknowledgment. Not even a nod, just to show you were alright. All you did was stay kneeling and bound on the ground, eyes dead ahead.

A sinking feeling gripped Bucky’s throat all the down to his gut at that. You weren’t alright. This wasn’t alright.

“Not a word,” Steve said low.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y… what the hell, man?!” Tony spat out and rubbed a hand on his face.

“I don’t know, boss. Looking into it now,” she said before adding a touch quieter. “The odds for this type of interaction aren’t good.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Bucky whispered through his teeth. Even to him he sounded strained.

“Let the lady go and no harm will come to you,” Thor’s voice boomed to the men, lying.

One man moved forward slightly before smiling. He was standing just behind you and all eyes on the Team were immediately glued to him, sizing him up.

“Any anti-intruder spray built into those walls, Tony?” Natasha asked quietly, barely moving her mouth as her body tensed for fight.

“Everything on this floor is all but disabled," F.R.I.D.A.Y responded. "Still processing how this could happen without being warned. You won’t be able to open that door, boss.”

“No, you won’t be getting in here. Not until we’re done.” the man answered, with just a hint of an accent.

He was generally unremarkable. No defining qualities, just brown eyes, a wave to his brown and speckled grey hair. Just under six feet, voice with a pleasant quality to it. Bucky knew immediately he was the type that could disappear in a crowd with ease. His outfit was black, like that of the others, and nondescript, though he was the only one that had the balls to face them without a black mask on.

“Welcome!” he all but shouted, smiling at the group before him. “To the final conclusion to a largely drawn out story.”

Shit.

The word "conclusion" made his stomach drop all the more.

“Steve,” Bucky said low, barely audible.

“I know,” Steve answered back, knowing what Bucky was thinking. “It’s not going to happen.”

“You don’t know us,” He waved his gun towards you. “But this one does. She worked with us closely for some time. But since stupidly going it alone, she’s caused us quite a bit of trouble over the years. We’ve been long overdue for a reunion.”

He squatted down behind you, eye roaming over your body. It made Bucky fume, but your eyes stayed deadpan, giving nothing at all away like you hadn’t felt an emotion in your life.

“That was the problem, no? You got to know us too well, and then you went after us, like you did so many others. We just can’t let that stand, Y/N. And we put a plan in place to put an end to it, but your fucking team had to screw that up too.”

He stood and walked around, giving you a wide berth and facing the Avengers.

“Usually she’s a last resort, I get that. She enjoys it a little too much, you know? Likes the carnage, gets off on all the blood and bone-crushing,” he said, waving his gun again. “She had to reign it in when let loose. I can admire that myself. But c’mon guys.”

The man gave a disapproving look to the team, making sure to catch everyone’s eye.

“She was supposed to be the expert at Hydra. She was supposed to lead this mission. We put everything in place here, all she had to do was show up. But no, you guys had to keep her behind, again and again. So we came to you instead.”

“So you’re Hydra,” Steve said, keeping his rage in check somewhat.

“No. But partnering with them I suppose," he said with a shrug. "It’s not a bad deal, as we’re both going to get what we want.”

He looked down at you, smiling with hungry, bright eyes. You met his gaze but didn’t react.

But the flame in Bucky’s chest burned somehow brighter and it took every ounce in him not to break this fucking glass and snap this guy’s fucking neck where he stood.

“And your name is?”

“Call me Frenz. Y/N would fill you in more about my sorted past and the dirty little things we’ve done together, but she’s a little busy.”

“So you get Y/N, and Hydra gets what?”

“Well, as I said, you screwed this up. So we’ve changed some key arrangements, let's say. This was supposed to be a two for one kinda of situation. We get revenge and they get a loose end neutralized.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Steve answered, chin and voice dropping.

Frenz gave a fake frown, feigning sadness.

“I think it is, Captain,” he said before motioning around the room. “See, there is one of your agents in here, up against twelve of mine. And your team is out there and useless, even if you weren’t outnumbered. This just isn’t going to be your day. Now, let’s get to the fun part.”

“Tony, I need options now,” Steve said tersely, watching the man turn back around towards you. Steve’s stalling while F.R.I.D.A.Y and Tony worked this out clearly wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Working on it,” Tony said from behind his Iron Man mask.

“Not good enough!” Steve whispered.

Bucky stood still, mind calculating through the possibilities. If he broke the glass, even if it only took one swing which wasn’t guaranteed, he wouldn’t be able to get to you in time. If he made it up to the floor above, down the hall, jumped down to the balcony and stormed in through the back, he wouldn’t be able to get you in time. If Steve’s shield and his arm hit near the same mark simultaneously, they might be able to break through. But Steve didn’t have his shield. And he wouldn’t be able to get you in time.

A thought bubbled up and burst in his head, making his chest tight and blistering fury course through his veins.

I won’t be able to get to you in time.

“Now,” the man rubbed his nose, squatting down with his back to the Avengers, facing you. “There are certain things that Hydra wants. So we’ll comply with some of that. Maybe not all. But there are certain things I want that we’re going to get to first. And your friends out there are going to watch. If they move, you die. If they try anything, you die. If you try anything, you die. So let’s just enjoy this, shall we?”

He stood, looking down at you and you looked up at him, not breaking eye contact. You wouldn’t appear weak to someone like him and look away in fear. You face him- all of them- head-on.

He walked around you, again smartly giving you a wide berth, before crouching again and looking to the Team.

“I’m going to fuck you, right here in front of all of your friends, and they are going to watch. Then, if you do a good job, I’ll kill you. If you don’t do a good job, if you struggle, or if you make any move against me, I’ll let every man here have you before I kill you. And trust me, you’ve seen the sick things they do in battle. You can imagine what kind stuff they’re into.”

The smallest emotion flashed in your eyes before dropping quickly away. Bucky’s heart plummeted to the floor and the heat in his veins cracked open and spilled to every corner of his body. He didn’t think, just reacted, hands flying up the glass. Instantly both Nat and Steve held his arms, trying to pull him back but they couldn’t tear him off. Words erupted from the back of his throat, deep and merciless.

“You fucking touch her and you are dead," Bucky threatened, the meaning and intensity of words resonating to his very core. “There won’t a hole deep enough for you to hide in.”

Bucky was not used to this.

Yes, a room full of trained professional killers. Yes, hostage situations. Yes, sick threats from sick men. None of this was particularly unusual for someone with his past.

But the problem hit him here like a bullet to the gut. In the last seventy years, he had not been in a situation like this where he actually cared for the person.

You had been there with Bucky, reminding him of better days with friends and warmth, showing him that the sum total of his life was not just the acts they made him commit. That he had been capable of small moments of joy at one time and that he maybe he could be a semblance of that person again. With no talk of even whether he deserved that or not. That he wasn’t a monster or killer with a weapon as an arm made especially for him to hurt people, that it wasn’t something to be feared. That he wasn’t something to be feared. That he could have someone with him who understood the brokenness that was inside him without having to voice it. That hadn’t cowered in fear from him. That for the first time ever someone- you, a stranger up until a few weeks ago- had melted into place in his life without effort or pain or awkwardness or even real realization until now. It had been little by little then all at once that you became a part of his life.

Emotionally this situation was all so foreign and so intense. The fire in his body burned him with it.

“Don’t think so, Soldier,” Frenz said, standing up and holstering his gun, walking to get in front of you. “She knew about us, but we didn’t even pop up on your radar, did we? No, I think you’ll find us hard to find.”

He said it almost dully like he had explained it a thousand times before.

Shit.

But it didn’t matter. Maybe Bucky railed against the fight now, but he would find them and use every torturous skill he had learned at Hydra. He would willingly cross a line he thought he wouldn’t cross again.

“Now, I remember they used to call you The Siren? Why don’t you sing a little song for me now, huh?" he teased, that hunger back in his eyes. "Let’s get the mood right in here.”

It took only a moment, but it happened with blinding speed.

You shot into action and moved to sweep the legs of the man in front of you who had stepped just a little too close, knocking him to the ground. You grabbed his head between your feet and wretched hard, snapping his neck in the middle of the room for all to see.

A split second before absolute chaos ensued, Bucky heard himself yell out a crackling “NO!”

You sprung into action, the sudden pile-on in your direction giving barely any space for the intruders to shoot, stab, or fight. You swung over someone’s back, grabbing the knife you found in the belt and cutting your restraints before your feet even hit the ground

“Tony, get us in there!” someone behind Bucky said, their voices falling away as his focus was solely on you.

You slashed the throat of the man next to you, using him a shield as you kicked out your legs, knocking out another man. You moved lightning fast and used everything possible to your advantage to dodge and shield yourself as you fought back against the barrage of men, bullets, and knives.

“Get me the fuck in there!”

Bullets sounded as you fired back, dogging beneath the couches only to shoot up and pull down another assailant, stabbing him in the stomach then heart, your arms and body moving at a blinding speed.

“My hammer will make quick work of this!” In the distance, walls sounded like they were breaking.

“No! This’ll get far worse if you break the glass, don’t!”

“Cap, your shield!” A whiz through the air before it practically slid on Steve’s arm.

“You’re fucking dead!” a man in the room sounded throwing down his gun in favour of a large knife.

You kicked out his knees, sent an elbow to his head, grabbed the gun, then shot him. You slid underneath the coffee table, jumping up to send the table flying into another assailant, knocking him down. The man in front of you got a knife to the groin, stomach, and throat before again you using him a shield against the onslaught of bullets.

Covered in blood as it sprayed down on your from the jugular of the man now at your feet, you flipped over the couch, feet kicking hard and knocked out the next man. You grabbed a small set of knives on a man’s thigh, throwing them through the air like lightning to hit to the two unconscious men you had knocked out in the course of the fight. In a flash you kicked up a gun and sunk two bullets in the head of the man at your feet. Just as someone came barreling from behind you, you threw the butt of the gun back into his face.

Another man came at you and you ran at him, but instead of meeting him head on you ducked down, dodging his fists and stabbed him in the thigh and stomach. As the other assailant came back for you he grabbed you from behind and you twisted to grab his neck and flipped him over, facing the team.

As the Team watched the man bent backwards in your arms, with a yell you wretched your arms up. An audible snap was heard as the man went limp, his neck broken by your arms with considerable effort. Bucky watched you, stunned as your eyes looked back to him, revealing nothing through your blood-drenched face.

Another man lunged at you but you rolled under him, grabbing a knife at his ankle and dug it deep into his leg and pulled it through his flesh up to his hip, blood pouring everywhere.

And then suddenly there was quiet. You stood crouched on the floor, facing the Team, chest heaving and eyes both dead and wild.

Instinctively you grabbed a gun, looking down through the scope as you crouched. Your left hand went up, fingers signing quickly.

“Two went out the balcony.” Bucky translated, voice strained and quiet, before speaking back to you. “Don’t follow them! Wait for us, Y/N. Please.”

But low and silent you crept through the room and over the carnage of the eleven slashed, shot, and now dead men. Within Bucky the heated fury shifted to a different kind of fire as his heart lurched in pain.

Voices again suddenly boomed, yelling and panicked and loud.

“Why the hell can’t he just hammer the fucking thing?!”

“Does structural integrity mean nothing to you?”

“Not compared to people lives, Tony!”

“I’m going up the next floor, I’ll drop down.”

“If they have a jet you best believe there are weapons there! We need to take them down now!”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., throw me a fucking bone here!”

Eventually, the door clicked opened and at once the Team was off towards that stairwell. Bucky took off fast, ignoring the slick blood underneath his boots as he sprinted to get to you.

When he arrived at the top, you were there, standing still, faced away from them. A gun hung loosely at your side and the black backdrop of the city framed you, not a star in the sky. The only movement was caused by the small enemy jet engines whirling air around you, making your hair whip around wildly.

At your feet were the two remaining intruders, bloodied and dead.

Silently you turned around. You still held your mask up, the one you had used to block out the man Frenz with eyes dead and face expressionless. The one you had kept on while fighting and killing those men. The one you used while you looked Bucky in the eye and snapped a man’s neck. The one you kept on while you left the Team, walked over the gore and horror your hands had caused to finish the job and kill two more that were fleeing.

As fast as the Team stepped forward, they now stepped back, except Bucky. You didn’t make any indication of hurt at that, you simply and slowly walked through the group back down to the room below.

“I’m… so sorry,” Tony muttered to you as you passed. But you made no notice that you heard.

“What do we… I mean what should we…”

But Bucky still wasn’t listening to anyone else. He followed you down the stairs and stopped at the bottom-most step, watching as you looked like you were assessing what you had done. Your eyes moved to each body, looking it up and down.

Bucky's eyes were on you and not the scene in front of him, his mouth tasting of bitter and dry ash. Hesitantly he put his hand up to touch your shoulder before putting it down again.

“Y/N…”  Again, Bucky hesitated before reaching his hand up again.

But before his skin touched yours, you moved through the red smeared room and out the now open door, leaving bloody footsteps in your wake and down the hall.

Bucky looked around the eerily quiet room, unable to pull up a feeling of disgust or horror at the scene. The fire that was burning still held on and all he could feel in that moment was crushing pain for you.

The thick silence did not last long as the voices of the Team tumbled down the stairs.

“… defense against thirteen people?”

“If this was her. You’re forgetting that. We just don’t know. Not anymore.”

“Focus here. The lounge is a swimming pool of blood right now, people. Back burner this shit.”

With that the Team filed down and one by one. Bucky watched them do their best to take in the situation. Thor grimaced, Natasha just looked pale, Steve looked heart-broken, and Tony looked sick.

“Where is she?” Steve asked Bucky quietly after a few moments.

But he turned around as footsteps padded softly down the hall, and to Bucky’s surprise, it was you. You hadn’t left to shower the blood that covered almost every inch of you, or breakdown, or leave the Tower altogether. You came back.

Towed in hand was a huge duffle bag that strained your arms. Picking the one small corner near the bathroom door that was blood-free, you set it down and unzipped the bag, contents filled to the brim. You grabbed several items including what looked like a clear tarp and slipped into the bathroom, emerging a few moments later.

You took hold of the nearest body, picking up the dead weight bridal style seemingly with ease like you did this often.

“Y/N, stop, you don’t–”

But a loud low thud with the scrunching of plastic sounded from the bathroom just after you walked in.

And so methodically, you began to clean up.

Moving bodies to the tub in the bathroom, after five were in you pulled out a small vial, a bottle of bleach it looked like, and a bucket from your bag. Filling it with the bleach, you pulled off the top with your teeth and emptied the purple vial of liquid into it. You splashed the contents over the bodies and instantly a sickening fizzle and popping sound erupted. The smell was deathly sweet, adding to the stench of the now quickly disintegrating bodies.

At one point Tony tired to interrupt, frantic and scattered.  

“Okay, this is enough–”

Bucky’s arm reached out and grabbed Tony’s wrist harshly before it could touch you.

“Let her do what she has too,” It came out like a threat.

“She needs… This is madness, Barnes. She needs help," Tony sputtered, that sick look on his face getting more frantic.

“I don’t think she’s accepting help right now,” Bucky grimaced. You acted like you hadn’t heard a word either had said.

Once all the bodies were sizzling and disintegrating, you continued with another bucket and another vial. You mix this one with water and splashed it liberally around the room.

In front of everyone's eyes, the blood began to move together in large pools then began to coagulate in large chunks before hardening into a dense, dark solid.

You splashed the liquid around the room in a circle and by the time you were back to where you started, the blood was solid. You poured the last of the liquid over you and snapped your jaw shut in pain for a moment, blood falling off you in blobs before hitting the ground solidified. You picked up every last piece around the room while the Team watched.

You took a moment and put every piece of furniture back into place. You went back into the bathroom to remove and fold the tarp. You tied up the garbage bag of solid blood. You packed everything up back into the duffel bag.

You were concise and calculating and methodical. Like you had done this a thousand times before.

All while you stayed silent, mask still in place.

_______

Several hours later Bucky was woken by a frantic voice, interrupting his just established, uneasy sleep. He knew before getting into bed that he was doomed to have a nightmare but that had hardly seemed important.

Immediately he pulled his arms in tighter, expecting to find your warm body. But tonight you were absent from his bed, and an ache rain through Bucky as that night came storming back.

“She’s gone! Buck, I can’t find her,” Steve said, a shadowy outline at the end of the bed, breathing heavy.

Bucky sprung out of bed and instantly into action, heading out the door without thinking or even pulling on a shirt. He knew it was you. “Where have you looked?”

“Everywhere Buck.”

After a few moments once they entered the elevator, Bucky paused and looked Steve. “Why were you looking?”

“I couldn’t sleep”, he looked down, weariness lining his face. After spending time securing the Tower or worrying about Y/N, there was no doubt everyone was having trouble sleeping tonight. “I needed to see that she was okay. With her nightmares…”

But Bucky knew better than Steve. He tried to keep down the heat that flooded his chest. 

Bucky had checked on you, Steve didn’t need too. He had walked with you, a barely-there touch on the small of your back leading you down and safely back to your room. He debated going in, he debated asking if you wanted to stay with him instead. But he simply said a goodnight and you hadn’t responded, only closed the door with that dead look in your eyes.

But it should have been Bucky to notice you were gone. Why hadn’t he checked on you again later to make sure you were asleep? Why didn’t he just stay outside your door, just in case?

But now as the two men enter your room, they found it empty, just as Steve said it would be. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing misplaced, no sign of foul play.

“Training room,” Bucky said whipping around and running down the hall, Steve in tow.

“I’ve already been,” But Bucky needed to see it himself.

Empty. Bucky turned on every light and there wasn’t any sign of you there or that you had been there that night. No long sleeve shirt or water bottle on the bench, no weights out of place, no subtle sway of Steve’s punching bag. No signs of foul play.

“Goddamn it!” Bucky yelled, fury bubbling as he ran out of the room.

Where were you?!

His next thought was the lounge, though you had no reason to go back there. Bucky’s stomach swayed with nausea as they got to the glass wall, trying not to picture you bound on the floor again with him locked out on the other side, unable to do anything.

But the door was propped open, having been done so by Tony earlier in almost an apology for his damned tech and stupid fucking walls having kept them out.

Bucky scanned the dark room but saw nothing. No movement, no sign of you, no sign of foul play.

“No matter where the fuck she is this world, I will find her and kill whoever took her,” Bucky spewed out into the empty room, almost shaking with determination.

“She has to be in the Tower, Bucky. There was no security entry for anyone leaving the building, she’s here I know it.”

“Like I would trust the fucking security system," Bucky spat, storming towards the exit.

Bucky sped back through the room, ready to scour every fucking inch of this place himself, before the bathroom handle caught his eye. He bee-lined for it, debating on kicking down the door before deciding just to turn the handle.

He walked inside, the astringent smell of that sweet cleaner assaulting his nose. It was quickly followed by his heart sinking.

Across the dark, small room he saw on the side of the bathtub the shadowy top of your head and the tips of your fingers leaning against its white side.

“No,” he whispered silently.

_______

PART FIVE

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