#still trying to nail down an art process that works but I’m real happy w this one

[vanibear]

hey when is it xions turn to skateboard??

[samwrights]

➳  » 𝕞𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕙 𝕚𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤 «

⤷ ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝟞.𝟝𝟘—missed calls

» warnings and stuff

Language, written portion and the moment you’ve all been waiting for

» playlist is here

              »»————-　    ✿     ♡    ✿    　————-««

              »»————-　    ✿     ♡    ✿    　————-««

As carefully as you can, you tiptoe past a sleeping Matsukawa in the living room and make your way down the hall directly in front of you. Dim lights from the city streets illuminate the walls of the apartment, allowing you to see the door that you perceive to lead to Hanamaki’s room—the only room with a light still on. Still trying to keep quiet, you rap on the door with a nail, hopefully loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough not to disturb the sleeping patrons.

With equal caution, the knob turns before the door is pulled slightly ajar, just enough for Hanamaki to grab you by the wrist and drag you in.

“What’s that face for?” He grimaces when he sees the stupefied look you’re wearing. “Did you really think I was just gonna let you sleep on the floor?” Grumbling to yourself, you toss your overnight bag onto the floor near the doorway, hoping you didn’t have anything in there that was particularly fragile.

The strawberry-brunette resumes what you assume was his previous position—resting on his queen-sized mattress that had the covers made up while you stood on edge before him. The fuck were you supposed to do? You didn’t know—it was the reason you had even called Terushima in the first place.

Listen to what your heart tells you.

Taking a moment to come to terms with the fact that you were standing in Hanamaki Takahiro’s bedroom, you glance all around the stylized space. You could faintly make out that the walls were a rich navy blue and he had an affinity for gold accents, but most of that was hidden underneath what was probably thousands of drawings. From the first Christmas gift he had given you, you knew art had been a hobby of his, but this?

This was far beyond your imagination.

The wall to your right was littered with flash sheets of various themes, large paintings that echoed to his neo-traditional style, quick sketches and doodles, as well as a large, weekly calendar that served as a planner for his work schedule. Flowers, as it seemed, was one of his specialities. Every work of art had a floral accent that screamed of his signature, regardless of how rugged the piece might have been.

To your left was a simple white desk that housed his laptop, tablet, and a few floating shelves that held various sentimental knickknacks. Your hands reach over to grab the dusty golden pocket watch you’d given him for secret Santa in your third year, not even needing to search for it on the shelf—it screamed its presence all on its own. Albeit hesitantly, you gather the courage to sit next to him on the empty space in his bed, mimicking his posture with your back resting against the grey, tufted headboard. “You really couldn’t open this fucking thing?” You ask, holding it up between the two of you before letting it lay flat in your palm, offering it towards the former wing spiker.

“The clasp didn’t work and I didn’t wanna break it.” His nimble fingers take the pocket watch, clicking the clasp that made repeated noises to signify it should open. However, the lid remained shut. Hanamaki shrugs before handing it back to you, turning away so he can hide the overwhelming bubble of emotions boiling in his chest.

You were here.

In Sendai.

In his apartment.

In his bed.

Right next to him.

And the thought that he couldn’t do anything about it was killing him.

Abruptly, you get up from his bed and carefully step towards your overnight bag. Unzipping it, you pull out a small, thin pocket knife that Daichi made sure went with you everywhere before sitting back down next to Makki. Maybe it was you feeding off the anxiety he was putting into the air, but you hesitated on prying the watch open for the first time. “The guy I sent it to for engraving must have ruined the clasp,” you muttered as you forced the tip of the knife at the seam of the watch. Your mind was relentlessly speeding at several hundred miles an hour, unsure of what was to unfold.

Once you opened this watch, everything was laid out on the table.

The pocket watch was meant to be a symbolic confession of the love you held for this man in your younger years—held?

The past tense didn’t seem to be accurate.

Your nail holds down the clasp as you gingerly twist the knife, breaking the inner mechanisms of it and allowing the golden pocket watch to show the custom engraving you had gotten for it. Hanamaki reaches for it, but you yank it away before he can read the inscription.

“Makki...” you whimper out, unsure of how to proceed, “Hiro, what comes after this?” From the corner of your eye, you can see one of his large hands tugging at his slightly longer locks in frustration.

“I dunno, yn. We won’t know until we move forward.” The trembling watch in your shaky hands like an unsteady rhythm of a snare drum as you cautiously place the slightly ajar watch in his hand. Much to his chagrin, the pocket watch no longer worked, the ticking dying down after a couple years. Not that Hanamaki had even noticed in the first place, his own wallowing drowning out the noise back when it had still moved. “‘After all this time, it’s still you’,” he reads aloud, calloused pads of his fingers tracing the inscription and stopping when they reached your initials.

Then he laughs.

He laughs so hard that he all but falls off his bed, not slightest bit concerned at the volume of it, as he clutches the gift to his chest.

“H-hey, don’t laugh!” The tips of your fingers snap against his bare arm as you back hand him, though there’s no real force to your playful strike.

“I’m not laughing at the gift. I’m laughing because...” Makki pauses, fixing himself up so he could face you. “Because it hurts that this is how this all comes out.” There’s a deep cloud that settles over his grey eyes, the pain in them swirling black into the stone. Meeting his eyes, you gnash on your lip, subconsciously grabbing at your sunflower necklace. “You kept it...”

“I’d never get rid of it.” There’s a thick silence much denser than what’s hanging in the air, though neither of you are unsure if you should break it, or even how to. Steely grey eyes drop to where your hand cradles the necklace, reaching out to run his fingers over the back of your hand. Your muscles tense at the touch, dropping the pendant and allows him to hold the golden sunflower.

“So what now?” Takahiro’s voice barely comes out as a whisper, the pads of his fingers still tracing every ridge in the pendant. He won’t look at you—not right now; he can’t. His control is wearing thin and it takes every ounce of him to not be selfish, just this once. But at the end of the day...

At the end of the day, he loved you.

And he would never do a single thing to intentionally upset you, regardless of how much he wanted to close the gap between you and finally feel your lips on his.

“I-I don’t know, Hiro. I’ve never given this particular scenario much thought.”

“I have,” he says immediately. Despite the self-control he’s exercising at the moment, his mouth moves faster than his brain. Hanamaki pulls his hand away from your necklace, finally, opting to rest it on his belly before the thin threads of his self-control snapped.

“Yeah? And how do you see this playing out?”

“Honestly? You rolling over and going to sleep and nothing changing.”

Huh?

You turn to your side, removing yourself from the headboard to rest on your elbow while you face him. What was that supposed to mean? That he had moved on and that you were reading too much into the moment? Shit, wait why were you reading into it in the first place? The feelings you once had—past tense—were exactly that: of the past.

Right?

“Yn,” Makki mirrors your position, resting on his own elbow while his free hand gingerly cradles the space between your shoulder and neck, “we can’t move forward if we’re stuck dwelling on the past. So...” the strawberry-brunette closes his narrow eyes slowly, long lashes dancing along the tops of his cheekbones as he does so. Rather than opening his eyes, however, he leans forward until his forehead rests against yours. You’re vaguely aware of the various spots in his body pulsating, drumming with blaring volume that you swear will wake the whole apartment. “I love you, and I will always love you. But, I came to terms with it a long time ago, that you aren’t mine to love. And I can’t ask you to just up and leave your life just because I’m no longer afraid to tell you I love you, that’s not fair.”

It feels like nails are piercing your throat, your own heavy heartbeat the hammer pushing them deeper and deeper into your chords. Nearly a decade you had waited to hear that this man returned your feelings, and here he was with his forehead pressed against yours doing just that. All while you were engaged to someone else.

Someone you’d fallen so hard and so fast for—a complete one-eighty from the way you’d slowly cultivated your affection for Hanamaki Takahiro.

“None of this is fair.” Before you had time to process the scenario, warm, silent streams of tears clump at your mascara-clad lower lashes before spilling past the dam. You inhale a shaky breath, closing your eyes to match Makki, exhaling forcefully because you can’t fucking breathe.

Perhaps it’s the trepidation in your breath or the rattling of your bones against his that causes Takahiro to pull away, opening his eyes. It almost felt like looking towards the sun, he muses, until he sees your crying form just below him. Instinctually, he wraps his free arm around your waist, pulling you closer until your smaller frame is tucked underneath his chin. “Hey, hey. No crying,” he attempts to soothe, his large hand roaming the cloth covering your side, “there’s no reason to cry, yn. As long as you’re happy.”

Maybe that was why you were crying?

Were you happy with Daichi? And if you were, why was that the second time of the night that you were questioning it?

“W-what do you want, Makki?” You ask quietly, hoping his answer will offer some sort of solace or guidance. Instead, he squeezes just a little bit tighter before relaxing his arm to hold you like a fragile China doll.

“Nuh uh,” he tuts, “this is about you and what you want. I will not let anything I have to say about what I want be any sort of influence.”

Part of you is grateful for that because maybe you don’t have to be the one to wonder what would happen if you left Daichi. Or if you got up and just drove to your parents right now. Or if you decided to indulge yourself for one night. There was no pressure, no hidden agenda to force you into a precarious situation. But if there’s anything you want to do at all in this moment, it’s the fact that you want to tell him for real, so that he can hear it from your lips. “I love you,” you whisper out, curling deeper into his chest so maybe—just maybe—he won’t actually hear you, “and I’m so sorry I waited too long to say it.”

“I’m glad to hear it, even now.”

The two of you remained entangled with one another, your tears and hiccups finally subsiding enough for you to be aware of your current state. You’d probably stained his pillow covers with clumps of black mascara or had it hoarding together in blobs down your face. Even so, neither of you dared to move, enjoying the feeling of being in one another’s company while being enveloped in your own thoughts. Or rather, thought, as in the singular. While you’d pondered the question long before your current state, you took the time to bask in his certainty to wonder what the fuck you did want. Clearly, you hadn’t the faintest clue.

You love Daichi, that’s a fact. He’s passionate and compassionate, he’s the pressure you need to keep you grounded and level-headed. Daichi isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re stepping out of line whether it be going out one too many nights in a row with Terushima or when you’d fallen into a depressive episode and can’t find motivation to do little things like bathe or clean. He keeps you together, despite the broken and dismantled soul you felt you were sometimes. Sawamura Daichi is the present and the future—the matured love you gladly welcomed.

Right?

So why did being in the arms of Hanamaki Takahiro, even in a rather platonic way considering the confessions, feel like a catharsis? Like you’d been drowning further and further into a sea only to finally break the surface and breathe fresh air? Like he was the reason your lungs had been able to inflate and take in oxygen. And the warmth he was bringing to you on a crisp spring evening echoed the comfort of a homemade hot chocolate in front of a fireplace after playing in the snow. Yet, all he had was his arms around you and his head caressing the crown of your scalp, restraining himself from speaking his truth so as to respect your reality. Hanamaki Takahiro was the past—the love of your youth belonging entirely to him.

Maybe you didn’t have to come to a decision right then and there—perhaps thinking it over would be a smarter decision. If anything, your focus should shift to the fact that if you move away from his chest that you’ve precariously buried yourself into, your resolve will crumble.

It’ll crumble, because the only thing you’re certain about in this moment is how much you want to kiss him right now.

But you have to swallow that thought like a bitter, too-big pill and wash it down with limbs wrapped around you carefully as you fall asleep.

              »»————-　    ✿     ♡    ✿    　————-««

𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

@levinneheart​ @hoe4hq​ @veelafyre​ @its-the-aerieljeane​ @disgvste @sunflow3rbab3​​ @kiyoojima​​ @urdads​ @kuroos-babie​ @more-stuff-of-pi​ @dabi-hates-fish​ @chao01248​ @kuroos-roosterhead​ @cremepuffingwaldio​

𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖:

THEY FINALLY CONFESSED. SOUND THE ALARM Y’ALL. also, i don’t know why I totally see Mattsun looking for a cougar. But in all seriousness, I KNOW. You guys want them to live happily ever after already, BUT I really like showing how Makki’s grown up over the years without ya. 

[franklyshipping]

Day 11 ~ Christmas 2019 Ego Fanfics

WOOOP DAY 11 BABY LET'S DO THIS LET'S GET SOME FESTIVE COOKING UP IN HERE PEOPLE YAAASSSS LET'S DO THIIIIIS!

Cooking. Cooking is fun as hell, but cooking for other people? Now that is just a seriously fun time. Especially in this household, there was a lot of people being catered for, and I know for some people that can make the entire process of cooking and testing recipes all the more fun. That’s how the sweetest butler of all time, Benjamin, felt right now. He inhaled over an experimental pot of stuffing happily, humming with delight as the herby aromas washed over him. However….Benjamin was not alone in the kitchen. It was agreed that no tasks would be set to one person alone, and ah….well, let’s just say that Benjamin and Mad Mike had some different opinions when it came to the culinary arts.

‘It looks like bird seed mushed up with moss.’

Benjamin gritted his teeth, letting out a huff at the man who was leaning in over his shoulder with his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the pan’s contents. Benjamin muttered as he stirred it about, trying not to feel insulted by Mike’s comment.

‘It does not! And just because the texture is different from other foods doesn’t make it any less delicious!’

Mike let out a disbelieving grumble, wrinkling his nose a tad, to him it was WAY too herby and just looked like dumpster mush. Don’t get Mike wrong, he liked working on all of this with Benjamin, he was a real classy gent who was fun to talk to and had a ton of good ideas….but his mind just wasn’t open to the fun of culinary stuff! Sure, everything had to be done right, but it wasn’t like this was Christmas Day, this was the time for experimentation and fun and trying wackier ideas! However, and Mike meant this in the kindest way possible, Benjamin kinda had a stick up his butt.

‘C’mon now, this is a time for experimenting and shit! Can’t we at least add a couple things to your mixture to see what happens?’

Benjamin huffed, his stirring of the stuffing getting a little faster as he pursed his lips. Now, don’t get him wrong, Benjamin had a serious respect for Mad Mike. Benjamin secretly felt inspired by all his unique recipes and ideas (especially pertaining to ice cream), and the fact that he was so enthusiastic about everything made Benjamin feel so overjoyed. However, to Benjamin, getting everything spot on and perfect for Christmas was the most important thing here; to Benjamin, that meant sticking to recipes that were tried and tested.

‘This recipe is tried and tested and has been deemed perfect, I will not make any changes, and that’s my final word on the matter Mike!’

Mike blinked a few times, feeling a bit taken aback at how close Benjamin got to nearly….snapping at him. He went quiet and stepped away for a moment, leaning against one of the nearby counters. Before he could get too disheartened though, a certain adorable, globular being nudged his hand. Mike developed a soft, crooked smile.

‘Heya bud, what’s up?’

Mike cooed softly, which made Gooper yip and roll across the counter by a few inches, where Mike now noticed he’d organised all of the kitchen’s spices….in the order of a rainbow. Mike snickered gently and shook his head, damn he was a cute enigma.

‘Thahat’s beautiful buddy, has anyone ever told ya you’re an organisation master?’

Gooper wiggled and ended up letting out some bashful, giggling noises at the compliments; he also eagerly nuzzled against Mike’s fingers when he offered then. Mike wasn’t sure what it was, maybe Gooper’s affections, but he felt his disheartened state start to leave him in favour of a clearer brain.

‘Dang cutie….’

Mike whispered, coaxing out some more happy giggly gurgles, before Gooper shuffled off to go and organise more stuff. Mike let out a soft sigh as he rubbed his forehead, before glancing at Benjamin in his peripheral. The guy looked so…tense. Also, now Mike was thinking about it….one of the things Benjamin had said really started to stick out to him. Mike nibbled the inside of his cheek, before making his internal decision, and shuffling back over to the butler. Mike gently placed a hand on one of his upper arms as he cleared his throat and muttered.

‘Hey uh….c-could ya take that off the heat and turn the gas off for a minute? I want to ask you something…’

Mike had a theory in his head on why Benjamin was so adamant and why he was acting the way he was acting, but he had to be sure. Benjamin furrowed his eyebrows at Mike, particularly when he saw the concerned look on his face, but turned off the gas safely and moved the stuffing away carefully as he replied.

‘What is it?’

Mike took a deep breath, here goes nothing.

‘When you said that this recipe had uh…been “deemed perfect”…uh, deemed perfect by who?’

Mike’s suspicion, his theory…it was a pretty horrible one, and he was really hoping he was wrong…but when Benjamin exhibited a tremble and bowed his head, Mike knew he’d hit the nail right on the head.

‘M-My mas-…uh, f-former master…’

Mike’s eyes softened. He’d heard a lot about this previous master from the other egos, and frankly he sounded like an absolute shit stain. Mike sighed as he realised that, even after time and a new home and new company, Benjamin still hadn’t quite moved on. He hadn’t moved on from working to someone else’s high standards and being afraid to deviate for fear of reprimandment.

‘Benjamin…’

‘I-I’m s-sorry I just…I-I still think about h-how he wanted things, how h-he asked for things to be done. Soon, with everything, it just felt like th-there was only one method, one way, a-and anything other than that…’

Benjamin gulped and shuddered…he tried not to think of him, he always tried so hard, but sometimes the memories just wouldn’t stay tucked away, the fear wouldn’t stay tucked away.

‘…i-it just wasn’t an option.’

Mike clenched his jaw before pulling Benjamin into a tight hug, making his voice as strong and steady as he could as he spoke.

‘Now you listen to me. He’s gone. You don’t have anyone to answer to anyone, ever. You can do things however you want, and I swear to you, nothing bad is going to happen if you decide to do things differently. I promise.’

The butler’s eyes widened as he let out a shaky breath, but immediately wrapped his arms around Mike and nestled his face into his shouder….to be held like this was exactly what he needed. He stuttered softly as he nodded, replying to Mike softly.

‘I-I know, I-I do…I-I’m so sorry M-Mike, thank you…’

‘Shhhh shh it’s okay, it’s all okay.’

Mike rubbed the man’s back as they hugged for a few minutes, Mike relishing in how he felt the tension leaving Benjamin’s body gradually the longer he had the butler in his arms. When they finally did part, Mike smiled up at him broadly.

‘Now, will you say something for me?’

Benjamin nodded, wiping one of his eyes residually as he nodded. Mike then cleared his throat.

‘Okay, repeat after me: I, Benjamin…’

Mike grinned and paused, which spurred Benjamin to smile and mumble.

‘I-I Benjamin…’

Mike’s eyes gleamed playfully as he continued…with the most beautiful, sassy demeanour known to man.

‘…am a strong independent butler who don’t need no master!’

Benjamin spluttered and hid his mouth with his hand as he burst into giddy giggles, before clearing his throat and bowing his head….his smile not dying down for even a second as his voice gained strength with every new word.

‘A-Am a s-strong independent butler wh-who don’t need no master!’

Benjamin then carried on giggling, he generally wasn’t a sassy person, he was usually very measured with the way he spoke….but he had to admit he loved talking with that added drama. Mike cocked his head at the giggling man, and his grin became very fond.

‘Y’know you’ve got some cute giggles there.’

Mike mused as he playfully elbowed the butler in his side, since Benjamin’s giggles were very gorgeous with how unrefined and giddy they seemed. Benjamin of course smiled bashfully and went to thank Mike for the sweet compliment….and he’d have gotten through it coherently too, if it weren’t for that elbow.

‘O-Oh, well thank you I-EEP!’

There was silence. Eye contact. Gulping. Smirking.

‘…uh oh…’

Mike gasped with evil glee at his discovery, and felt particularly giddy when Benjamin started to instinctively back away from him, spluttering frantically.

‘U-Uh, w-we should r-really focus on the stuffing! O-Or in f-fact a new stuffing, y-you can t-take the lead if you like!’

He had to change the subject. Benjamin had to change the subject, he was too ticklish for words and with Mike’s wild demeanour he dreaded to think of how evil a tickler he’d be! However, he wouldn’t have to theorise for long. Mike was chuckling as he shook his head fondly at the butler; his number one priority, right now, was to coax out more giggles from the cute butler.

‘Fuck the stuffing, you’re all I can focus on now.’

Mike darted forwards with a cackle, wasting no time in delivering tickly scratches to Benjamin’s sides. Of course, Benjamin let out a series of squeaks before attempting to scamper away from the evil digits, nervous giggles pouring from him all the while.

‘D-Dohohon’t doho thahat! Mihike! Dohon’t tihickle!’

Mike only snickered, keeping up with Benjamin easily as he started essentially chasing him around the room, his fingers still scratching and tickling haphazardly.

‘Oh but you look so sweet! Sweeter than the strawberriest strawberry ice cream!’

Benjamin’s cheeks flushed as he pushed at Mike’s hands, stuttering indignantly at that frankly unnecessary teasing.

‘N-Nohoho I-Ihihi juhust lohook sihilly!’

Benjamin was trying not to let himself get distracted by the teasing, he was already stumbling enough as it is but god forbid what would happen if Mike managed to trap him in any way. Meanwhile, Mike had started strategically tickling Benjamin towards the nearest wall as he cooed.

‘So? Silly is cute! Silliness looks particularly cute on you I have to say.’

Benjamin’s jaw dropped as his blush creep down his neck, he was so unused to such teasy kindness that it was just flustering to no end! Then…he suddenly found Mike pinning him to the wall with a smirk on his face as he dug into his sides, making him cry out with mirth.

‘NOHOHOHOHAHA MEHEHERCY OHOHO!’

Mike snickered, relishing as Benjamin writhed between him and the wall whilst laughing his heart out. Mike had to admit, Benjamin looked pretty damn cute like this all mirthful and dishevelled. Mike purred as he leaned in close to the sweet butler.

‘Ahahaaaww, you just can’t take it can you? You’re just a ticklish little dear aren’t you?’

Benjamin squeezed his eyes shut as he batted at Mike weakly, bending almost double as Mike’s wiggling fingers just broke him apart; with the never ending teasing too, it made the poor man more and more desperate.

‘PLEHEHEASE MIHIHIKE! IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES!’

Mike cocked his head at Benjamin fondly, before crooning.

‘Awww I’m sorry, does it tickle too much here? Did you want me to go somewhere else? Why I’d be happy to!’

Mike chuckled, and let his fingers glide to Benjamin’s tummy where they scratched speedily. As soon as those tickles reached his tummy, Benjamin let out quite the squeal before crumpling to the floor like his entire system had just shut down on him.

‘EEEE NAHA NAHAT THEHEHERE!’

Benjamin had a frightfully ticklish tummy, and since it was on the leaner side Mike had no trouble in tickling every inch of it at high speed. Benjamin had his eyes squeezed shut and a grin across his face as he tried to curl up, but Mike was quick to follow him down to the floor….and lie on top of him. He was not giving up on this tickling so easily, he just thought Benjamin was so cute.

‘Aww but why not? I mean, since you’re laughing so much I figured you were loving the tickles!’

Mike crooned as he continued his scratching, and Benjamin just flushed beet red. He was overwhelmed with flusteredness as he shook his head, Mike’s suggestion was entirely uncalled for and had no real factual basis for it to possibly be accurate! Benjamin absolutely wouldn’t say that he was loving this…although…he didn’t dislike it, he wasn’t going articulate that though.

‘TH-THAHAHAT’S PREHEPOHOHOSTEROHOUS!!’

Benjamin cried as he threw his head back with his mirth, the corners of his mouth crinkling up with his wide smile. Mike snickered down at him fondly, before musing in a teasy tone in reply.

‘My goodness that’s a big word there! I must not be tickling you properly!’

Benjamin’s eyes snapped open and went wide as he looked up at Mike, who was smirking evilly; honestly he was just trying to grasp any excuse possible to carry on tickling the guy. Before Benjamin could even try to ask for mercy, Mike let all ten of his fingers vibrate against the butler’s lean belly, which made him cry out cutely.

‘AHAHAHA NOHOHO NOHO NOHAHAHAHA!!’

Benjamin was writhing as his laughter boomed out from him, and tears started to build in his eyes as his poor nerves were tormented. Currently he was wondering what on earth he did to deserve this and why Mike was so intent on continuing to tickle him, I mean, the whole thing was just beyond embarrassing! Mike meanwhile, as he tickled, was actually becoming quite….enthralled. Mike found himself looking at Benjamin with a hint of awe at how lovely he looked, especially with his wide, handsome smile.

‘Awwww who’s a ticklish little Benjabooo?’

Mike couldn’t help but coo down at Benjamin with a giggle, wanting to draw out more sweet smiles and reactions from the ticklish man…and he was well rewarded. Benjamin’s arms and legs flailed haphazardly as the man let out a rather dramatic, flustered wail.

‘DOHOHON’T CAHALL MEHE THAHAHAAAT!!’

Mike’s eyes lit up…so he was flustered by nicknames huh? Mike chuckled to himself, and decided to ease up on the tummy tickling. Not only did he do this to let Benjamin breathe….but this was also so that he could ramp up the teasing to maximum.

‘Don’t call you Benjaboo? Hmm, what about Benjabub? Oooor Benjabubby, or Benjabumpkin? What about Bennyboop?’

Benjamin whined as Mike got right into his face as he crooned, spurring him to hide his own face in his hands out of embarrassment from all the teasy, cutesy taunting. Benjamin always found that nicknames flustered him, especially if they were silly or playful, nicknames just sent him into a tizzy.

‘N-Nohone ohof thohohooose! Th-They’re soho embarrassing!’

Mike merely snickered fondly.

‘Well duh that’s the point! If you don’t pick one, then I guess I’ll just have to use all of them….in front of everyone…’

Benjamin let out a flustered squeak into his hands as he peeked up Mike…looking at him with his smirking and chuckling told the butler that Mike would certainly make good on his word if he didn’t pick a nickname. Benjamin whined as he hurried to think to himself, but all the options were just so embarrassing and gave him so many flustery butterflies! Benjamin nibbled his bottom lip for a few moments as his mind raced….then settled. It still made him blush, but one nickname was better than an infinity of them. He cleared his throat, and replied bashfully.

‘W-Well…I-Ihi suppose….Benjabooisn’ttooawful…’

Mike grinned broadly, practically lighting up with joy as he exclaimed.

‘Benjaboo it is! Cutesy and sweet, just like you!’

Mike booped Benjamin’s nose with a smug little giggle, making the butler scrunch up his face and lightly pout up at his teaser.

‘Why must you t-tease me?’

Benjamin’s voice was meek and flustered, which made Mike smile less evilly and more genuinely as he gazed down at him. Truthfully, there was only one resonating thought in Mike’s mind. The thought that had made him carry on teasing and carry on tickling….Benjamin was at his most beautiful, when he was happy. Mike cleared his throat softly, he couldn’t say his raw thought of course, so he stuck to being teasy.

‘Because you’re a cutie when you get blushy and all smiley, and especially since that sweet smile of yours is so rarely seen…’

Benjamin’s blush was practically creeping down his neck by this point…but now that the tickling had completely ended, his was gaining a glimmer of confidence back, as well as some coherency of thought. As he looked up at him, Benjamin found himself feeling quite taken by Mike’s broad grin and playfulness. So, Benjamin figured he’d bite back a tad.

‘I-I could say the same about you, you have a pretty darling smile…’

Mike froze, blinking a few times in surprise. All of a sudden, that domineering demeanour faltered and made way for a far more bashful Mad Mike. He ran a hand through his hair as he let out a light laugh, the compliment had definitely caught him off guard…and his cheeks had gone a pretty pink too.

‘Oh….heh….well uh, th-thanks…’

He muttered quietly, which made Benjamin develop a gleaming, cheeky grin as he murmured cheekily.

‘Who’s the blushy one now?’

Mike’s eyes widened, and he felt the heat growing on his face, he couldn’t have that! He was the tickler, the flusterer, the teaser! He narrowed his eyes down at the butler and leant down nose to nose with him, growling.

‘Y-You shut up!’

‘Why don’t you make me?’

Benjamin purred in reply, his heart racing as he felt Mike’s warm breath on his face; Benjamin nibbled his lip as the sweet scent of vanilla ice cream filled his senses. Benjamin’s breaths were shaky as they both went quiet, locking eyes with one another. Mike was frozen in place as he looked down at Benjamin, who was just so bold and beautiful and…perfect. Neither of them were sure what spurred them both to lean in, but the results made them both very, very happy. They kissed. It began haphazardly of course and a tad fast, but they soon slowed it down into a connection that was soft and warm and made them both smile. After a few moments they parted to catch their breath, and Mike whispered with a giggle.

‘Mmmm, maybe we should have you for Christmas dinner-’

‘Oh sh-shush!’

Mike chuckled warmly at Benjamin, who had his lips pursed cutely. Mike pecked them, once, twice, three times, four times.

‘I think you like my teasing though…’

Benjamin let out a whine, before breaking into a smile and muttering.

‘Mayhaps, but if you keep teasing me with pecked kisses alone then I may lose my marbles…’

Mike snorted, and happily obliged. This new flaming connection was glorious of course, though instead of it being hot it was more like a tender warmth. Also, I think we can all surmise that from then on there were far fewer conflicts in the kitchen…and infinitely more freedom.

WOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS NEXT FIC LEME KNOW IF YA DO WOOOO LUV YOUS XX

[vaguely-concerned]

Temeraire let’s read: Crucible of Gold AHOY!

- lol I’m glad hammond is back, he is phenomenally funny. I do love me a bureaucrat character who won’t let trifling things like dignity, morality, politeness or common sense get in the way of their job 

- it is a CRIME that Tharkay had to leave before he got to see Laurence all sun-bronzed and casually dressed and golden haired and relaxed, I wish to petition the universe itself on his behalf to correct this injustice 

- hahaha shen li is the best; a buddhist dragon would be the greatest party pooper among her own kind 

shen li, serenely: attachment to material things can only bring suffering

literally every other dragon, dripping bling from every available surface: um actually

- . . . without the clinging stink of murder and treachery which seemed to have by slow octopoid measures attached itself to his life. laurence I understand where you’re coming from on this but you have served colonial britain since you were like twelve. this has been an extremely slow process of waking up to smelling dem roses (fatherhood changes your perspective on your life situation I guess)

- awwwwww laurence finally studying some more chinese while temeraire helps him... no no this is just rain on my face yes I know I’m indoors it’s just me and lady allendale sitting here with our arms around each other crying about our boy reading poetry of his own freeish will

- oooh I really like how novik writes the way hammond talks -- it can be hard to write a character who constantly breaks up their own dialogue and interrupts themselves and continually couches their words without it being hard to read and annoying, but she really nails communicating that he’s a) completely graceless and with no dignity but also undeniably intelligent, b) definitely a Diplomat but not a total weasel, if only by a hair, c) hilarious

- pour one out for laurence’s civilian beard with me guys, gone too soon and dearly missed (and again tharkay didn’t even get to see it! this continues to be the greatest tragedy of these books let’s hope he grows it out again later when they’re all settled down.) 

- . . . These were distinguished from the others mainly for their having had less time in their careers to demonstrate a lack of initiative or skill, so he could have some small hope of uncovering some previously hidden talent. OH MY GOD LAURENCE the straight up savagery 

- DAD!LAURENCE!!! DAD!LAURENCE!!!!!!! (aaah it’s so interesting that when he gets a bit more stern you can definitely see sides of his father peeking out, but he deeply remains his mother’s son -- he’s acting from a place of affection, feeling of responsibility and concern for their futures, not the weird controlling shit lord allendale routinely pulls)

roland is such a teenager at this point oh my god. also laurence’s whole speech to demane about respecting her boundaries and agency... *chef kiss emoji* and ALSO demane is so sympathetic in this still because who HASN’T wanted to dangle some asshole over a cliff for being a creep to your friend/crush... they’re all good and perfect and I love them actually

- ...I’ve managed to put it out of my mind in the last few books but with the allegiance going down like that I keep remembering there were so many actual children onboard and now I feel ill

being an adult and realizing the full fuckedupedness of these things sucks haha

- 1) the description of seeing the ship sinking from underwater is hauntingly beautiful and 2) as I have said many a time before, thank god for demane

- see this is the other side of the coin of these books making you care so deeply about the characters; I know that no important characters die in this book but I am still so fucking stressed out by all of this D:D:D:

- well well well if gong su’s ludicrous competency wasn’t suspicious before it certainly is now, I guess china trains its spies well in the culinary arts haha

- I mean uh. what a way to symbolically and literally sever laurence from his former life and former self, I guess. you’d be hard pressed to do so more explosively at least

 - something extremely bad happened to granby, we can tick that off the list

- I feel like the prose and writing in general is super improved in this one? it feels sharp and purposeful in a way the last few haven’t quite been

- He hoped Riley would be mourned; Riley deserved to be mourned ahfksahsdajklhsajkfhaslkjfhsakjdfhdaslkfhakj pain :(:(:( I’m so sorry laurence and I didn’t even like the guy. I can’t believe that the first thing this madman does after trying to secure their survival as best he could is writing letters -- on dragonback!!! hands stiff from cold so he can only work in five minute increments!!! -- to make sure riley’s memory isn’t blackened how can he be like this

- emily roland is so smart and capable and amazing my heart is blooming with pride

- iridescent feathered dragons... holy shit this is awesome

temeraire has a little feather envy tho and also maila casually eavesdropping so he can chat up (literally) hot babes... I know they’re prisoners of war and everything but this is all pure unadulterated gold

- oh temeraire darling no have no fear hammond has no self respect whatsoever, that will not be what stops him

- I can’t believe laurence is actually taking time to tie himself in knots over not following perfect procedure around his officers’ future career options while they’re FUCKING MAROONED with a bunch of asshole sailors fkdfhsjdh

- GET YOUR DIRTY FUCJING HANDS OFF DEMANE OR I’LL CHOP THEM OFF FOR YOU YOU SWINE

sipho is like eleven and a nerd and ready to run at all these grown men armed just with a branch PAIN

- granby’s unending exasperation at laurence not knowing all the stuff that seems self-evident to him having grown up with dragons fksjdhfskajd

- aw laurence finally having a little dad talk with roland ;____; and demane has proposed to her repeatedly and she would agree in a moment under other circumstances ;________________; and it never even occurred to me that that’s why she was so upset about him taking on his own dragon but of course that would fuck everything up if that’s what she was planning OH NO ;_________________________________________________;

laurence confirmed for boytoy & hideously embarrassed about it flasdfsdkjhfksd 

“But I don’t want someone I want, if I can’t be sure of seeing him one week in the year” crack crack goes the sound of my heart breaking

I hope they find a way to solve this eventually :(

- really interesting what a clear view emily has of roland and laurence’s relationship tho, considering he’s basically her father figure -- like there’s clear affection, physical attraction and camaraderie there but it never feels particularly romantic & they both have other shit to do. (and laurence knows it too on some level, considering his main emotion when she refuses his proposal is relief lol. it really shows off this central conflict he has where like... he has a very clear idea of who he feels he should be and managed to convince himself he was for a long time, and what that man wants and needs (namely very little, emotionally) and is loyal to. aaaand then there’s the person he actually is, who’s been fighting his way to the surface since temeraire showed up in the very first book and sort of woke him up by giving him something he actually loves and values with all of himself and can’t compromise on. proper gentleman/navy!laurence feels like he has to do what society deems decent and marry roland to be a good person, actual!laurence seems to know that what they already have isn’t wrong or immoral in any way as long as they’re both happy with it. ugh I love him and I hope his last remaining character development includes realizing that who he really is is not only acceptable but actually a better man than that imagined perfect self ever could be and how many people love him for who he is already A N Y W A Y onwards)

- the incan dragons continue to be dope as hell

it’s super interesting how they’ve grown to value people -- and not just one special person, like british dragons, but whole groups of people -- over gold and jewels. like the tendency is there in dragons from other cultures; temeraire loves The Bling but would still easily prioritize laurence and his crew over it. presumably some of it is cultural and some of it must stem from the sheer trauma of losing so many people within a few centuries, which is basically living memory for a dragon (which makes it equal parts sympathetic/heartwarming and juuuuust on the edge of being too creepy and possessive haha).

- jeez this book is doing a good job at showing what a haunting fucking sight it must be to enter a land where like. 90% of the people are dead in plague and their cities stand abandoned

- fhasdklhfaskljfhs hammond going full diplomat on the dragons squabbling... he truly is something

and laurence apologizing to demane because he was out of line and he is a fellow captain now T_____T lord allendale could never

- haven’t had a lot to say for a while because I’m just so entranced with the world building and stuff haha, I find the irl history of this area super interesting as well

- ambassador iskierka........ what a time to be alive

poor poor poor granby hahahaha

- if these books were named harry potter style this one would be ‘william laurence and that time he tried to put off wearing his ceremonial robes for as long as humanly possible’

- granby being good at drawing but having atrocious handwriting is such a good little character detail, novik is just so expert at nonchalantly plopping them in 

- temeraire is being haunted by a green-eyed monster the size of a continent huh lol fair play to maila tho, he’s given it his sleazy all right from the start

I can’t believe gong su invented dragon ice cream solely so temeraire could eat it out of a tub over this... the real mvp

- awwww granby <3 I’m glad there’s some actual canonical queer rep in this series as well (as for the technically not stated straight(heh) out in canon... listen my friends if you can come up with any kind of heterosexual explanation for normally extremely sensible tenzing tharkay gazing at his friend and thinking shit like ‘in the fading light he was a statue gilded by sunlight’ and ‘it was a pang not unmixed with pleasure to look on him, as ever’, you are free to try to come at me with it but I won’t believe you lol. also laurence has the most potent disaster bisexual energy of any man in modern media even if he hasn’t quite caught on to it himself) 

tbh I know it’s mostly in desperation but they should come up with some new kind of medal to give granby for having this particular Talk with william laurence, one of the most awkward men to ever walk this earth... braver than any us marine etc.

- temeraire and iskierka in this scene STRONGLY evoke dirtbag teens sneaking off to make out in the backseat of a car or something god bless

- ...I guess you can’t fault the empress for siding with the dude already crashing like a natural catastrophe over his own home continent and who is eyeing the other six like a starving eagle would a pack of mice. all the europeans suck but I guess it’s sort of her best bet to ally herself with the biggest bully on the playground, especially since forces in her own court would be hard pressed to do anything about the situation. respect sister & congratulations granby lol

- hahahahahahaha leave it to hammond to be forcibly adopted by a dragon 

poor churki tho she’s a grownass adult and she only has one weird coke-addled diplomat and three basically adolescent dragons to work with here

- GRANBY SETTING SOME BOUNDARIES FINALLY I’m so proud of him ;__; this book really does have a lot to say about dragon/human relations huh

- LETHABO!!!!!!!!!!! man i’m so happy she’s doing well, she fucking deserves it and she’s doing good work

- laurence has evolved to his ultimate form of give-no-fucks-do-some-good laurence and hammond was not prepared lol 

“You forget yourself, Captain Laurence,” Hammond said . . . 

“I forget nothing,” Laurence answered . . . 

im crying b/c he literally has forgotten before but remembers himself at the end of victory of eagles b/c of tharkay and and aaaaaaaaaaaaaugh here he is refusing to do the dirty work he’s handed once more 

- lily and maximus! this is not a drill it’s the good good kids back at it again. also temeraire’s phenomenally misplaced sense of superiority re: his reaction to kulingile growing bigger than any of them fkshdfksahdfkj

- berkely <3

- poor harcourt :( ah well she’ll survive it tho he wasn’t that important it’s not like she lost her dragon lol (I honestly can’t feel that bad about riley considering y’know how he was not only chill with but actively for the institution of slavery)

- YOOOOOOO GONG SU! and temeraire is so happy they’re going back to china aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I love this (laurence’s stammering outrage at this reveal is also highly entertaining “he STAYED in my father’s HOUSE!!!!!!!”)

- man that entire last battle scene was so cool in the context of the rest of the series; the sheer effort and ingenuity that went into avoiding a bigger battle and slyly aiding the only worthy cause in the situation (the tswana and freeing the slaves) is so satisfying, especially after VoE

- holy shit I really enjoyed this one! It had a good balance of travelling/character moments and giving us time with the culture and characters of the Inca and their dragons, as well as driving the overall plot forward splendidly! I also feel like we got some more meat to the laurence POV (in hindsight it feels like it was mostly temeraire POV in tongues of serpents, which is fine but I do love our golden boy and his slow burn character development too)

on to blood of tyrants! I don’t know anything about this one except a) amnesia and b) some Very Important Lines I’ve already picked up along the way, I’m not sure I’m prepared (as a trope amnesia can be pretty hit or miss for me, so it’ll be interesting at least!)

[frederator-studios]

Grace Ellis: The Frederator Interview

Grace Ellis is among the most exciting comic and TV writers working today, and all from coffee shops ‘round Columbus, Ohio. The first comic she created, Lumberjanes, is a NY Times bestselling series, in development as a movie, and brought her home Eisner and GLAAD awards for her cat to try to knock over. Grace is currently writing one of the most magical comics of the year, Moonstruck, but still found time to pen some awesome episodes of Bravest Warriors season 4 (after she determined that the gig was not, indeed, a prank). Grace and I sat down to talk log-doodling, queer representation in comics, and the commonalities between Beth Tezuka and Captain America.

Having written Lumberjanes: were you a Girl Scout yourself?

For a little, until my troop disbanded! Lumberjanes re-connected me with my Girl Scout roots. The inspiration for a lot of the woodsy stuff comes from an outdoor camp I was part of. After college I worked for Autostraddle, the biggest online network for queer women. They host a weeklong sleepaway camp every year called A-Camp. It has a bunch of panels, talent shows, activities - really cool stuff. When I was a camp counselor one year in Big Bear, I made friends with an attendee, Shannon Watters, who’s a writer and editor at Boom! Comics. Later, she approached me about making a comic together.

Wow! So Lumberjanes was your very first comic... ever?!

Yup! The first issue of Lumberjanes was the first comic I ever wrote.

That’s amazing! Wait, backin’ up - what were you doing before?

My big kid job was journalism. I studied a mix of journalism, theater and women’s studies at Ohio State. After school ended I started pitching around and got a gig writing ads for Playbill. Then I got some work with Bustle too. I was doing sort of garbage writing: mostly TV recaps and some vaguely personal stuff here and there. Very little actual journalism. Then I got the job with Autostraddle when the site was still fairly new.

So you taught yourself both comic writing and screenwriting?

Pretty much! I was already familiar with story structure, so it was really about learning to adapt those elements to different formats, and take advantage of each medium. That comes with practice more than teaching. Every format is different. Like with comics, I go panel by panel, one at a time. I have to keep framing in mind while focusing on what’s happening in the scene, and what the characters are saying, because comics are super dialogue-driven. Writing comics is like trying to write the minimum in order to say the most. 

How did Lumberjanes develop from the first ‘let’s make a comic!’ moment?

We drew a lot of inspiration from Ms. Kitty Fantastic and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I developed the concept with Shannon and we started from just rough outlines of the characters. Then Brooklyn A. Allen came on and designed them. And after that we brought on Noelle Stevenson as a second writer. Working all together was really smooth, a cut-and-dry process. We only needed one Skype call per issue!

Which girl in Lumberjanes are you the most like?

Molly - well, I’m always told to answer Molly! She’s the timid and unsure one. But hopefully Jo as well! I like to think that I can be a leader.

How did you come to write for Bravest Warriors?

Shannon submitted me! Benjamin (Townsend, Story Editor) reached out. I actually forwarded the email to my lawyer right away. I was sure that I was getting scammed. I was so excited when it turned out legit!

(“Catbug! You don’t just bust in on someone when they're dukin’. Buddy... we talked about this.”)

Do you have a favorite character in Bravest?

Catbug is the most fun to write. Before pitching the Detective Catbug episode I wrote this season, I prepared by hanging out with a 5 year old. It actually helped! Catbug has the funniest voice, I just love writing him. But Beth is my favorite Bravest Warrior. Once I’d nailed down who she is, I really liked writing her. She kind of reminds me of Captain America: she’s unbeatable and refuses to stay down. And she’s unapologetically herself.

She truly is That Beth. How did you first start working on Moonstruck?

It actually started as a school exercise, with no plan to extend it! 2 years ago I was doing a program with Columbus College of Art & Design, where they partner their artists with pro comic writers. I was lucky enough to be accidentally (I later found out, secretly-totally-on-purpose) partnered with Shae Beagle. The assignment was to write a 5 page scene, with 2 twists; the first building off the second. That became the opening of Issue 1: the first twist is that we’re not in a normal human coffee shop - it’s full of mythological creatures. The second is that the girl we're following who seems totally normal… well, she doesn’t view herself as normal at all.

I’ve wondered why Julie is so insecure, when she’s surrounded by such a diversity of mythological people?

For Julie, it’s really this fear of losing control. She’s has a deep sense that in her werewolf form, she’s not normal. She’s not right. So she’s internalized some really negative stuff about what that means for and about her.

Are there levels of privilege and marginalization in this world around being human or mythological?

Yes - I’ve been working on how to represent societal privilege surrounding mythological and non-mythological people. A big inciting factor in Julie’s story is her falling in love with a girl, who - spoiler alert! - is also a werewolf like she is. But Selena has a totally different perspective on who she is. She’s comfortable with herself.

Your characters are so distinct - what is your process for nailing a character’s voice?

It’s a lot of time thinking about who the character is; how they’d react to things, based on their personalities and what they’ve lived. Living close to a college is a big help because I’m surrounded by people around the age of the characters I write. Overhearing conversations is often inspirational! I also pull a lot from real life and my own friends. I have the best time writing over-enthusiastic characters: the ones that are high energy, always on, and oblivious.  Julie, on the other hand - it was tougher to find her voice. She’s so timid, yet she also has this sardonic edge. It helped when I realized that she would say “Sorry” all the time. It’s her instinct to apologize for herself, even when she has no reason to! After figuring out something like that, that’s core to her character, I was able to grow her voice from there.

What do you find most challenging about writing? And most rewarding?

Being done is very rewarding! And feeling like you nailed it. The worst thing is when you don’t want to write. It’s easier now that it’s my job, because I have to do it. When I was an AV tech at a movie theater, I always wanted to write, but I wouldn’t do it. What’s tough is that I would rather think than write. Thinking is underrated. But the problem is, I know that I should write something - anything! - every single day.

Do you ever do any of your own art?

Nah, I’m not an artist. I draw sometimes. I’m a prolific log-drawer.

Logs?!

Yeah (laughs) I sometimes fixate on one thing and it becomes the only thing I doodle. Logs are that.

That is… oddly fitting! What is your creative process like?

It’s not very strict. My rule is that I leave my house every day before noon and go to a coffee shop. Then I just plug into it.

What do you like to do outside of writing?

Is there such a thing? Video games, especially during winter. Reading a lot of comics, plays and nonfiction. Biographies are great character studies. Currently, I’m reading a novel, The Blunderer by Patricia Highsmith. For writing pretty light and happy comics, I really do like books about heavy guilt and punishment...

Speaking of Patricia Highsmith - with her Price of Salt such a cornerstone in queer writing - what are your thoughts on representation and writing queer characters?

Oh yeah - we’re all familiar with the tropes. The sad stories, the coming out stories. They’re important in their way. But they aren’t what I need to write! I’m not a sad person, so I can’t just put that on. I write upbeat stories about characters who are already out and accepted. I’m a happy, out lesbian. So to represent those characters isn’t just what’s truthful to me - it also says to readers that hey, you can be a happy, out lesbian too!

Do you think there is a market for young adult media with queer characters and themes that didn’t exist a decade ago?

Absolutely. It used to be that anytime a writer put a gay or lesbian character in anything - let alone a main character - they were pigeon-holed as a ‘queer writer’. And a decade ago, that could severely limit, or even ruin, a writer’s career. Now, ‘queer media’ isn’t just a subgenre - gay and lesbian representation is coming into the mainstream. It’s a changing world. Lumberjanes did so well, it uncovered a whole market of tween, teenage girls and queer women. And there hasn’t been enough made for them! Backstagers, Zodiac: Star Force - a lot of the new comics coming out are riding on a wave of realization for the comic companies. They figured out that they were leaving money on the table when it came to queer female audiences.

What’s your advice to people who want to write comics or TV shows?

Write a lot. Write every day, if you can. It’ll make you a better writer. And put stuff on the Internet. It sounds scary, but it’s the best way to get your work seen. At this point, people are getting jobs off of Twitter. Networking is BS!

What is your Dream, or dream gig?

My dream is to write things that I’m proud of in many different mediums. A musical. A video game. A movie. I’m a really big fan of form. It’s an almost intellectual interest: the different things each format brings to the table, and how you work with each to find the best possible way to tell a story.

What are some of your favorite Things?

I loved Saturday Morning Cartoons. Recess, The Weekenders. I like weird slice of life children’s stories. Calvin and Hobbes is a huge favorite. LA Noir is my favorite video game. And one of my favorite comic artists is Alison Bechdel. She does a strip called Dykes to Watch Out For that is absolutely hilarious. ❀

Follow Grace on Twitter and Instagram.

Thanks for the interview Grace! We’ll no doubt be keeping up with you. Can’t wait for the great stories you’ll tell, across all the formats that strike your fancy!

- Cooper ❀