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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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James & Ava

James: Good morning

James: how are you, darling?

Ava: Sleepy 🥱

Ava: but all the better starting my day with you, of course

Ava: how about you? 😊

James: hopeful that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, because likewise

James: & my cautious optimism doesn’t extend to the viewing I’m currently heading to

Ava: Oh, how have they oversold this one, I wonder

Ava: the adverts are nothing short of epic fiction

Ava: there should be awards for how they can spin any - into like +++

Ava: Where are you headed?

James: it would be inspirational if I were solely doing research for the novel but alas I need a suitable study first

James: [somewhere that’s one of the places we discounted]

Ava: I can believe estate agents are all unfulfilled creatives, definitely

Ava: I’ll 🤞 all my fingers and toes that it’s the one

Ava: though I could tell you more pubs and clubs in that area than nurseries…

James: absolutely up there with the teaching profession in terms of both dashed dreams setting them on that path & a litany of thankless tasks once they get there

James: thank you though

James: I’ll let you know if it constitutes enough of a disaster to warrant theoretically drowning my sorrows, after all, there isn’t a huge difference between some of the clubs Teddy frequents & soft play so I’ve no doubt my aide for today would be thrilled to hear every suggestion

Ava: You cannot make me feel bad for teachers today

Ava: not when Mr Hawthorne has beat you to it with the against argument in the form of his 🥱 inducing lectures

Ava: 😅 I don’t think foam parties are safe for anyone, 1-year-olds especially so though

James: there’s an argument to be made that I possess the ability to do so, however, if I’m going to use my powers of persuasion for anything 😈 I would argue it is indeed wasted on Mr Hawthorne

James: oh well in that case, the hunt for my sister’s baby shower venue also continues

Ava: If you used your powers of persuasions on Mr Hawthorne, I might be a tiny bit jealous

Ava: not to mention almost as confused as he would undoubtedly be

Ava: Joy of joys

Ava: it would be typical for that to be added to your to-do list as well, but at least a place for grown women to eat chocolate bars out of nappies isn’t as much like gold dust as a decent place in central

James: I’m jealous that he’s spending time with you right now, despite your attention being less than rapt & therefore promise to do nothing that benefits him in any way whatsoever

James: including, but not limited to, refusing to assist you in the homework he intends to set by being as distracting as I can later as well as now

James: you’re not wrong, but she is her belief that to this day I remain blacklisted by an extremely high percentage of clubs, thus sparing me being delegated the role even in these hypothetical planning stages

Ava: That would be a wild rumour, even for this place

Ava: and what can I say? You’re more worthy of my time and attention

Ava: as you’ve just proved 😍

Ava: Definite blessing in disguise

Ava: Will it be a women-only event?

James: I’d be lying if I didn’t say I miss you & am always willing to prove how much at every given opportunity

James: god, I hope so, even a foam party isn’t enough of an incentive to get me there if I am expected

Ava: I miss you too

Ava: I can come see you tonight though, if you’re free

Ava: sadly, I don’t think I can make a soft-play date so that’ll have to be just you two

Ava: and you’re lucky, I’ve been to so many baby showers it’s not even funny

James: I’m supposed to work late to make up the time I’ve taken off this morning but I can do that when you’re busy

James: that’s a shame, I’ll have to throw myself in the ball pit

James: time will tell if you have an invite to Diana’s, what’s incredibly lucky is that she won’t expect you to actually attend regardless of how you RSVP

Ava: Only if you’re sure

Ava: my plans can always be more fluid than yours

Ava: Ugh 😞 I’d LOVE to push you into a ball pit right now, life is unfair

Ava: I don’t think she was impressed with my party-planning skills enough to put in that call

James: I am very sure that I want to spend tonight with you instead of at the office

James: & I’m also suddenly determined to create our very own ball pit in the new place

James: [pictures like which room do you think we should fill with plastic balls lol but let’s say it’s all really small]

James: having to forgo a traditional master bedroom isn’t at all unfair, I’ll obviously sleep like a baby among the balls

Ava: 🥰

Ava: An absolute must

Ava: why brag of a ‘cosy’ third bedroom when you can boast a gigantic ball pit

Ava: I bet the girls would be more than willing for you to do that too

Ava: Party house has a whole new meaning 🥳

James: indeed

Ava: I hope there’s not too many people there this time though, really

James: I think there are more people here than at the last viewing we went to, impossible as that sounds

Ava: 😫 How, where do all these people spring from?!

Ava: At least you’re far more eligible than most young professionals

Ava: If I was looking for a model renter

James: what a pity you aren't, your rooftop garden has much greater appeal for this particular young professional, not least because I've seen its existence with my own eyes

Ava: If my landlords weren’t so involved…

Ava: This place is far too big for us now

James: hopefully they won't drag you along on yet more insufferable viewings if, or when, they decide to downsize since you're an undeniable pro now, because for that, there would only so many apologies I can offer you

Ava: I’m sure mum’s already getting the planning permission sorted for if and when

Ava: Sadly their portfolio doesn’t extend to a reasonable price range, I did ask

Ava: but if it isn’t something that would get her in Architect Digest, or whatever, she’s not interested so

Ava: As you said, it would be fun in a way, if all this looking didn’t mean you were still without your perfect family home

Ava: It takes people watching to a new level, and seeing the landlord’s ��decor’ choices is also as revealing

James: it's okay, being indebted to my own parents is quite enough

James: it's becoming clear if my father visualizes me living here it's because he's done a drastic rewrite of the type of young professional I am

James: I could see you here, for instance, in a draft where I don't exist as your love interest, but in terms of a family home, perfect of otherwise, where we'd put Frank & the children is anyone's guess

James: perhaps some of these people are imagining wild architecture projects the likes of which your mother would have to act undaunted by, who's to say

Ava: I don’t love that rewrite

Ava: Frank is particularly demanding with how much space he needs to recline, relax, snooze and sleep…

Ava: You’ll find somewhere soon, I know it

Ava: If nothing else, this dull lesson is giving me all the time to refresh and refresh and repeat every listing I can find

James: cautious optimism as ever for our 2nd attempt

James: [deets because I'm gonna say that this is one he ends up loving that falls through somehow at some stage because how real and frustrating and then she can be the one who finds their forever home and they can look at it together]

Ava: Okay, I can picture that one

Ava: light and airy isn’t actually a lie this time, what a concept

Ava: 😍

Ava: All the rooms are a good size so you wouldn’t feel as if either girl was getting the short straw, and you won’t have to settle for sleeping amongst the balls either

James: I do have a genuinely good feeling about it, terrifying as that is to admit in our present surroundings where it feels as though someone will sense it & immediately swoop in, but yes

Ava: I know

Ava: It’s one of those things

Ava: You have to be cautious, because so many roadblocks are between you and the end goal

Ava: but similarly, how can you be, when it’s such a big life thing

Ava: You can be as honest and optimistic as you like with me, it doesn’t need to go any further, shark-like buyers and the girls alike

James: we aren’t anywhere close to the stressful moving in stage & I’m already acutely aware that I wouldn’t have survived up until now without your help, so I will, as long as you know the continued support is appreciated beyond words or any other measure

Ava: Stressful, but fun

Ava: you get to pick what colour your new room is 😌

Ava: It’ll be reward enough, to see you get the fresh start you deserve

James: [whatever her fave colour is] of course

James: then you won’t mind seeing me covered from head to toe in it, potentially indefinitely, when we discover I can’t fit in the tub at the new place either

Ava: Oh, I don’t think I would mind that no matter the colour

Ava: but I also would not mind you having an amazing shower so we could take care of that

James: if there isn’t I won’t mind adding it to my renovations to-do list

Ava: As long as I’m on that list too I’m happy

James: the top of any list I write is where I’m happy to put you

Ava: If you put in a bid, you should do it at/even over asking price, so they’ll take attention of you and then you can make a list of repairs/quality checks etc you want done before you agree to move in, then if they do them, they’re done for you, but more likely, they’ll not want to, and you can say take that cost off my offer then

Ava: one of the 💡 tips I’ve picked up and you’d undoubtedly thought of yourself but there we go

James: here’s where I could nod & keep up the pretense to avoid giving away what a total novice I am, but there’s very little point given than you know I’ve never done this, & a list of countless other things as long as my arm, for myself before

James: instead I’ll just take your advice & thank you accordingly

Ava: There’s so much we don’t get prepared for

Ava: even under normal circumstances

Ava: It isn’t as if I was told that at school, or I get told anything vaguely useful on the day-to-day by Hawthorne or any of the others worse or marginally better than him

Ava: You shouldn’t feel like you’re alone in feeling unprepared, is what I’m failing to say

Ava: Lots of people feel it, that’s why I could never just stay here, in the bubble of SW forever

James: don’t worry, you aren’t failing at anything where this conversation is concerned & whilst it is somewhat overwhelming at times, I don’t feel alone because I’ve got you to talk it through with

James: what that school taught me, all that living here has taught me, was how to avoid facing up to situations by lying & name dropping, which probably would assist me in climbing the property ladder but I’d rather be honest, if the bubble bursts as a result, I’m prepared for that from now on

Ava: I’m proud of you

Ava: and the girls will be too

Ava: It can be fun, and there are some good people here, just as there are everywhere

Ava: but outside of the postcode, the currency of who you know and where you went to school, it’s just not real, irrelevant

Ava: I don’t want to rely on my parents’ hard work, let alone someone else’s father knowing the crest on my blazer, you know

James: yes, I know exactly what having to rely on my father feels like, it isn’t fun or something to be proud of & it definitely isn’t a precedent I’d like to keep setting for my daughters

James: the stark reality & contrast of this fresh start needs to happen soon, while I still have Jay here to teach

Ava: She’s not going anywhere

James: she’s going to have to meet him eventually even if that’s under the guise of him being one of my old friends or your brother

Ava: And I understand that that’s fair

Ava: to him, I don’t know how to feel about it in regards to Jay, and it’s not even my job to so I know how hard this must be for you

Ava: but that doesn’t mean he should get to ‘keep’ her, for God’s sake, she has had no idea who he is until now, you’re her dad

James: I have to hope that he’ll understand that too, he’s not the villain here, as much as it would make my life easier to paint him as such

Ava: I hope so too

James: it’ll be okay, for her, I don’t know if I can make the same promise for us but I want to be able to

Ava: Don’t put yourself down like that

Ava: It wouldn’t be okay if she lost you

James: she isn’t going to lose me whatever Buster decides to do next, things may have to change but never that drastically, I’ll always be in her life

Ava: Providing he plays that nicely

Ava: I’m just scared he’ll do something that drastic, and stupid

James: if he doesn’t I won’t, I’m not afraid to fight fire with fire should that be the only option he leaves me with

Ava: Good

Ava: I wish I could promise it won’t be

Ava: but I don’t know what he will be prepared to do, so you should be prepared for any and all eventualities too

James: I am, my marriage made sure I was equipped to anticipate the unexpected & not to expect rational responses

Ava: Yeah, of course

Ava: Still no word from Chloe?

James: no & no trace of a belated birthday card

Ava: Typical

Ava: Good thing Mattie got spoiled by you and had a great party already

James: Jay is devastated she has to wait so long for you to throw one for her though, maybe we can find a way to cater the housewarming party to her

Ava: Awh, bless her

Ava: If there’s one thing Chelsea HAS taught me, is that you only need a vague notion of an idea to have a party and celebrate

Ava: Does she like fireworks?

James: she LOVES fireworks, if you weren’t in Dublin she’d have insisted you come with us to [wherever we’re gonna go see some on the night]

Ava: I am pretty gutted I can’t

Ava: but I’ll have to get some sparklers, probably not Catherine Wheels or Roman Candles, and do a belated bonfire themed do for her

Ava: smores are a good idea any night

James: I wonder if she’ll expect us to dye her hair red, orange or yellow this time

Ava: 😬 accidentally set a precedent

Ava: thank god for washouts

James: I’ll do what I can to have her convinced that face paint is a much better idea by the time you get back but she’s no Mr Hawthorne so

Ava: I admire a girl who requires more than a persuasive essay

Ava: you’ll have a great time

Ava: 🤞 the endless family drama doesn’t get in the way of me having one too

James: no amount of Catherine Wheels or Roman Candles could prevent me from being on the end of the phone whether you aren’t having a great time or simply want to tell me how much fun it is

Ava: You’re the best ❤️

Ava: It should be fine

Ava: If anything, hopefully someone else is bringing more drama than my parents or siblings could accuse me of, then it’ll really give them a bit of perspective 🤫

James: if your family resembles the dynamic of mine even slightly I won’t have to keep anything crossed in order to make that happen for you, but of course I will nevertheless, just in case

Ava: How soon is too soon to clue you in on my mad family dynamic 🤔😅

Ava: Maybe when you’re in your new home, so you have a door to politely shut in my face

James: having never kept an air of mystery there I can understand why you’d want to, but I would never christen my new front door like that

Ava: It was like an unspoken rule, when Buster was here too

Ava: I don’t really care that much, and anyway, he broke it big time

Ava: Every family has struggles and secrets, or are long overdue their share if not

James: I couldn’t agree more, my mother acts as though nobody else has skeletons hung up next to their hideously expensive coats & we must stay silent come what may, but she’s the last person to feign shock when any of said secrets inevitably come out

Ava: It’s such a waste of time and energy

Ava: not to mention resolves precisely (0) of said troubles, if and when they can be

Ava: I’m so glad you don’t want to keep up pretenses together

Ava: wouldn’t make for a very interesting story

James: exactly, if I adhered to her code of silence I wouldn’t have gone to rehab or spent any time & energy on recovery, god knows what trouble I’d be in right now in that instance, but we certainly wouldn’t have this plotline to delight in

Ava: Being dubious about the potential results, maybe

Ava: but the idea your own mum would rather you suffer in silence, literally, is beyond me

James: it’s an attitude worthy of an outdated classic novel, for sure, that we can all take ourselves in hand & address our flaws with a firm word or two but she isn’t alone in her 'you don't need outside help, you just need to learn and then follow through with setting your own limits' mentality

James: in my parents' defence I was still young, despite the baby I wasn't looking after properly or the wedding I don't remember very much of at all, & I know they'd argue, if pressed, that was the main reason for their anti-rehab stance

James: therefore, I'd like to believe, however naively perhaps, on this occasion it isn't entirely about saving face with yet more pretense but rather a glimpse at some character development for both of them, if only so the novel isn't doomed by one dimensional subplots, naturally

Ava: I can see that too, again, a lot of people’s problems go unaddressed or at least are allowed to get worse because the person is ‘too young’ for it to either be a problem, or it is something they will ‘bounce back’ from once they ‘calm down’ and mature

Ava: It doesn’t make your parents the devil, I wouldn’t suggest as much, nor the first people to fall into that trap

Ava: There are definitely instances of the exact same mindset I can point to within my own family

Ava: We’d all like to see the best in people, and sometimes, that desire lets us down

James: regardless this viewing has yet to let me down unlike the previous

James: I wish you were here

Ava: With any luck, I’ll be able to come see it with you next time

Ava: The pictures look great, trying to keep the optimism at the cautious level still but 🤞🤞😌

James: need I remind you I like your optimism as unabashed as your excitement

Ava: You don’t need to

Ava: but I wouldn’t be opposed

James: [tell her about whatever cute and romantic plans you've sorted for you two tonight so she'll be happy and excited]

Ava: How have you managed to sort that whilst at these viewings and also with Mattie 😍

James: it appears I’m guilty of similarly high levels of enthusiasm & so the greater crime would be letting it go to waste

Ava: AND being an excellent multi-tasker AND AND an even greater romantic

James: Mattie can & will take full credit for the former but the romanticism is a newly acquired skill that I’m still trying to find my feet with, & entirely down to you

Ava: I should feel bad for keeping it all for myself

James: I disagree but I’ll happily rush through the book’s publication if sharing will make you feel better

Ava: Should doesn’t mean would or could

Ava: because I don’t

Ava: It’s nice not being secret, but I’m still happy keeping you to myself for a while longer

James: oh good, because I’d rather continue to multitask like this than on a novel deadline

Ava: Being anything but a reprieve from all the other drains on your time is not very romantic heroine of me, so never

Ava: what would the readers think

James: you’ve got me there, by evoking how fickle our readers are more than likely to prove themselves to be, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about

Ava: You either think the protagonist is ‘relatable’ or you hate her because you deserve the love interest far more than her

James: nobody deserves me more than you, they’ll have no choice but to appreciate you

Ava: James

James: Ava

Ava: I can’t wait to see you later

James: can I pick you up from school or do you need to go home first?

Ava: I don’t need to go home 😊

James: I’ll see you there then, unfortunately, I have work to get back to & I’ve kept you from yours for longer than I responsibly should have, lest you end up at Kings after all

Ava: 🙄 I’m sure my career’s officer would tell me they’re higher in the rankings or something else that isn’t going to change my mind more than your experience and my own, however brief

Ava: If I were rating them on chance, perfect meetings, however

Ava: A++

Ava: I’ll see you later then, try not to get TOO exhausted by soft play 😏❤️

James: I’ll be certain to tell them now that’s not a secret, it wouldn’t surprise me if they used us a ringing endorsement for some kind of meet-cute society to take place weekly in The Vault

James: the allure of soft play meanwhile needs no advertising, with or without any single mothers trying to engineer romantic entanglements of their own

Ava: I’ll square that with my conscience and you run that gauntlet, love

James: I’ll do my best

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jokertrap-ran · 4 years ago

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[Stand My Heroes] 挽夏のミステリーブライド (Late summer Mystery Bride) Event Story: Part ② Translations

*Sutamai Master-list *MC name is retained default Izumi Rei *Scenario Writer: @eno_bara (榎戸乃ばら)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Special Stages

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: Whoa…This is amazing. It’s really a Castle!

???: (――This girl! …Kiyo-san!?)

???: (…No, but that’s impossible!)

???: (Upon closer inspection, isn’t her face and body way thinner than Kiyo-san’s?)

???: (--But her aura does resemble her a little, somehow…)

Hinata: The air in here’s really cool.

???: (--What!? She’s bringing in one guy after another trailing after her!?)

Miyase: Ohh, so that’s why it feels as cool as a cooler in here!

???: (This man…the aura he gives off resembles that of a servant calling from the Kurodas, a family who I didn’t like even within our Social Circles.)

???: (They look as if they aren’t capable of hurting even a fly on the outside, but I hear that they’d do all sort of things in the shadows to protect their properties…)

Kirishima: …………

???: (…Hm?)

Kirishima: …………

???: (W-What’s with this guy with his odd hair colouring!?)

???: (Actually, is he— Is he looking at me?)

Miyase: …Kirishima-san? What’s wrong?

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Kirishima: …………

???: (…………)

Miyase: …Kirishima-san? What’s wrong?

Kirishima: Huh?

Miyase: You must be tired from driving. I apologise for leaving the wheel to you.

Kirishima: No, I’m not the least bit tired at all. Plus, I love driving!

???: (Am I just mistaken? Well, I suppose that there are always people out there with sharp senses.)

???: (So it’s not all that odd for there to be someone who can see me or feel my presence…)

Kujo: Don’t you all want to know more about this Castle before you wander off exploring?

???: (Hah? What would you know about me?)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Kujo: His parents died early-on in his life and it seems like he, himself, died young, having taken his own life.

???: (Hey, hey…That’s really personal information right off the bat!)

Kirishima: …Did he die in this room?

???: (——！)

Kujo: How’d you guess that?

Kirishima: No, I just…had a feeling.

???: (I knew it. This guy…he can sense my presence!)

Kirishima: Please continue; tell us more.

Kujo: Apparently, the only thing he had written in his Suicide Note was “I’m bored”.

???: (It was something I wrote on a whim. But…it’s true.)

Kujo: For it he already had someone he had been enraptured with.

Shindo: But he had to let go of her— Was she the Wife of another?

???: (Urk! How dare you rub salt onto my wound like that!!)

Hinata: The person that held his interests might be the girl reflected in this Photo Album here.

???: (Wha-!? Hey, hands off! Don’t go casually opening my Kiyo-san Collection!!)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Miyase: Wow, she’s pretty dazzling.

Kujo: She bears some resemblance to you.

???: (I know, right!?)

???: (--Wait, no! Now’s not the time for this! Don’t defile another’s treasure any further-!)

Shindo: It’s a little ironic that someone wealthy enough to own a Castle like this has to lower themselves down to the likes of a stalker who stockpiles photos of his target.

???: (Don’t defile it anymore!!)

Rei: Eek!

Kirishima: Rei!?

???: (Oh no! Kiyo-san- No, I’ve hurt her doppleganger!)

Rei: I’m fine.

???: (Thank goodness…)

Rei: Rather than that, what just happened just now?

Hinata: The Teacup moved on its own accord…?

???: (I unconsciously lost control of my emotions, but this works out just as well. I’ll chase these rude people out of here!)

???: (Maybe I should drop a tome or two?)

Rei: Eek-!!

Kaname: After the Teacup comes a book this time…?

Kujo: What’s going on in here?

???: (It was I who did it!)

Shindo: Perhaps it was due to the fault of the Construction Workers. The shelves could have been compromised by the renovations.

???: (I said I’m the one who did it!)

Kirishima: …………

Miyase: Anyway, wouldn’t it be better for you to change out of that, Rei-san?

Rei: Oh, right! I’ve brought a spare set of clothes, so I’ll just pop into the rooms to change.

???: (No, leave already…!)

Kujo: How about changing into an outfit fitting for a place like this if you’re going to have to change anyway?

Rei: Huh?

Kujo: I do think that it’s best to enjoy a trip to it’s fullest, no matter what twist and turns there may be along the way.

???: (Hah…!?)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: (I’ve ended up dressing in something pretty cute…)

Sliding my arms into the sleeves of a dress decorated with lace and ribbons with a retro-feel to it, I headed back out into the corridor.

Rei: (It feels as if I’m fitting right into the atmosphere of this castle, just by walking a little in this. I think I’m starting to feel it!)

Rei: (…Still, why did the Teacup move all of a sudden?)

???: --Oo? Now, doesn’t that suit you quite well?

Rei: What?

I turned around. Standing there was none other than—

Rei: Oh! Shindo-san! You changed too? That really suits you!

Shindo: You didn’t pin up your hair? There’s an accompanying flower peony pin to go along with this outfit, isn’t there?

Rei: Yes; there was one, but…I don’t know how to put it on. Wait, actually, how did you know?

Shindo: Because both that dress and the flower pin were both bought for her.

Rei: Her?

Shindo: …Although I didn’t manage to give them to her in the end.

Rei: Shindo-san?

Shindo: ……

Rei: ???

Shindo: --You do look alike afterall.

Rei: Huh? To whom?

Shindo: …………

Rei: (He seems to be acting a little odd…)

Shindo: …Let us proceed. I shall escort you back to the Study.

He extended out a hand in my direction, surprising me, for I never thought that he’d actually do something like that.

Rei: (Is he also trying to enjoy this entire experience too since it’s what’s “Happening” now?)

Rei: (Whatever the reason may be, it won’t do for me to turn down his kindness now that he has extended it.)

Rei: Thank you. Then, if you’d please.

Shindo: Your hand, if I may?

Rei: Okay.

Rei: (Eek……!)

I unwittingly flinched at the icy coldness of his skin as my fingers brushed against his. It caught me by surprise.

Shindo: What?

Rei: N-Nothing! I’ll be in your care!

I took his hand, as cold as ice, as we started walking.

Rei: (…Maybe the air-conditioning’s temperature was set too low?)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Rei: I’ve returned. Sorry for making you all wait.

Kirishima: Oohh! You look real nice in that!

Kujo: It suits you really well.

Miyase: Truly. You do look utterly magnificent in a dress.

Hinata: …Cute.

Rei: !

Kaname: You really do say things like that as if it’s as natural as breathing.

Hinata: But you think so too, don’t you, Kana?

Kaname: Not really.

Kaname adverted his eyes from both Shion and I, decidedly lifting the teacup to his mouth.

Hinata: Are you hiding your mouth from sight because you just told a lie?

Kaname: Can you please not attach a reason to the actions of another as you please?

Hinata: You’re cute too, Kana. Just like Rei-san in a dress.

Kaname: Haa…Enough of that already.

Rei: Ahaha. It’s a little embarrassing, but I’ll take those words of praise in stride. Thank you.

Shindo: I don’t really care, but did you really lug that dress all that way here from the corridors?

Rei: !!

Shindo: ……? What? Don’t go making a face as if you’ve just seen a ghost.

Rei: S-Shindo-san?

Shindo: Do I look like someone else to you?

My breath hitched in my throat as I spun around to look behind me. Shindo should have been right behind me, having entered the room after he has escorted me here and opened the door for me.

Rei: …But he’s, not…

Shindo: Hey…?

Kaname: What’s wrong, big sis?

Rei: I came back here with Shindo-san, but…

Shindo: What?

Kirishima: He’s been here all this time, though.

Rei: He’s been here all along…?

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Goosebumps started to form on my skin. And I recalled how icy Shindo’s fingers had felt against my touch.

Rei: But I’m certain that I came back here together with Shindo-san and he had changed into another outfit as well…

Shindo: Did the heat get to you?

Kaname: I don’t think Kiyoshi-san would change outfits unless there’s a good reason for it.

Rei: (Come to think of it…)

I did think that he was “acting different from usual”.

Rei: (But then, that means that the person earlier was…)

Rei: A-Ahaha! Please don’t pull my leg like this, guys. I don’t like being scared like that.

Miyase: He’s really been here all along.

Kujo: I swear we’ve not schemed anything along the lines of remotely scaring you…

My nervous laugh quite literally froze on my face.

Rei: Then…Who was the Shindo-san who came here with me?

Kujo & Miyase: ……

Hinata & Kaname: ……

Kirishima: …………

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

???: (It’s the first time I’ve assimilated the form of another, but now I see…)

???: (I couldn’t move the body as freely as I’d like when I escorted her, and my head was reverberating with a voice, buzzing around saying “money”.)

???: (Which means that there’s conflict between my will and the will of the person whose body I’ve assimilated since our thoughts and actions clash.)

???: But now I know, since I’ve gotten up-close to her. She’s…She really does resemble Kiyo-san.

???: …More, I wish to keep her by me.

???: I wish to know more about that girl.

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Rei: Then…Who was the Shindo-san who came here with me?

A heavy silence fell upon all of us as neither of us could come up with anything. –Just then, A sudden ringing sound pierced through the deathly silence.

Miyase: Is that someone’s phone?

Kirishima: Not mine.

Kaname: Not mine either.

Rei: Sorry…! It’s mine.

Checking my phone, I saw the Caller ID of “Yui Kotaro” flashing across it.

Rei: I’ll go pick it up. It might be a work-related call.

I placed my hand on the doorknob and pushed the door open.

Kirishima: Rei, wait a minu-

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: (--Eh.)

I had only taken a single step outside. And I could see that night had already fallen from the corridors. The sound of the door shutting behind me echoed, but the sound of an incoming call had somehow died somewhere along the way.

I gulped and whirled around to re-open the door that I had just closed.

Rei: (It’s not opening! Why is it not opening…!?)

It didn’t budge an inch, no matter how much I pushed or pulled at it.

Rei: What’s going on…?

Rei: --Right, the phone call!

Rei: Yui-san…

I breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of the call connecting. It was almost as if it was my one connection to reality.

Yui: “—Izumi?”

Rei: (Thank the gods that he picked up…!)

Rei: Sorry for the sudden call, Yui-san! But I think I’m starting to hallucinate…

Yui: “You’re hallucinating…?”

Rei: Exactly! Like how I thought that I had been together with Shindo-san and how it’s suddenly night outside the moment I stepped out of the room and-!

Yui: “Calm down, Izumi…and……so,”

Rei: Yui-san?

Yui: “…Therefore………nd……ah…”

Rei: Um, you’re actually cutting off-

The line went flat with a beep.

Rei: ――!

I went into my contacts list and attempted to dial him again. What I heard on the other end of the line was-

“The phone number you’re dialling at this current moment in time is not in use”.

Rei: How is this possible!?

???: Izumi, don’t fear.

Rei: Eek…!

The voice that called out from behind sounded eerily familiar. Heart in my throat, I fearfully turned around…

Rei: Y-Yui-san…?

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: (What’s Yui-san doing here? And dressed like that too…)

Yui: Izumi, I can’t stop myself from wishing to know more about you.

Saying as such, Yui(?) stepped a foot forwards and I, in turn, took a step backwards. My back met the door with an audible thud. He placed a hand on the side of my face, as if trying to ground my vision as my eyes darted left and right, seeking an escape path.

Rei: ……!

Yui: Tell me all about yourself.

Yui: Because for all sakes and purposes, I…

Yui: Because…I…

Yui: Ngh…

Rei: Yui…-san?

Yui: Ugh…Urk…Ngh—What’s with this guy’s mental state!?

Rei: Wha?

Yui: T-THIS GUY! HE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR BLOOD TYPE, HE WANT YOUR HAIR, YOUR CELLS, AMONG MANY OTHERS! HE’S TWISTED!!

Rei: Umm…?

Yui: Ugh…his thoughts are deafening!

Yui: The will of a living person is this strong!? All I want to do is to borrow this vessel for a little while!

Rei: Yui-san…?

Yui: Back up for a moment! This guy won’t work!

His pink hair wavered and then-- He disappeared from my sight in the blink of an eye; not a trace of him to be found.

Rei: ……Wha- what??

Rei: (This must be……a dream. I’m dreaming!)

Rei: (Maybe I collapsed the moment I exited the room back in the waking world?)

I pinched my arm, hard, to confirm my suspicions.

Rei: --Why? It hurts…

The ill-sinking feeling returned to my gut once more in full force as I heard a voice coming from the other side of the door that I had my back to.

???: Izumi-san? I wish to open these doors. May I?

Rei: (That’s Miyase-san’s voice!?)

Rei: F-Feel free!

I stepped backwards, putting enough space between myself and the door so that the door could open without issues. The heavy wooden doors creaked open slowly, revealing—

Miyase: Oh, I apologize. Please don’t look so frightened.

───⋅𝕿𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊…⋆⋅☆

#Stand My Heroes #スタンドマイヒーローズ #スタマイ #Sutamai #Translations #Otome #挽夏のミステリーブライド #Late summer Mystery Bride #Asagiri Tsukasa #Imaoji Shun #Kujo Soma #Yui Kotaro #Hinata Shion #Yamazaki Kaname #Miyase Go #Shindo Kiyoshi #Kirishima Koya

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lifewithlemons00 · 5 years ago

Text

Friendly Neighborhood Heroes

Peter Parker X Reader

MASTERLIST

Synopsis: You and Spidey decide to see who the better hero is in a certain contest.

Not much Romance but still cute.

Words: About 1580

Warnings: Incredibly awkward Peter Parker.

_________________________________________________________

“No Spidey, I don’t think the spiders can understand you.”

“I don’t know, I have spider blood in my veins, I feel like they can understand what I’m saying to them.” You laugh at your partner in crime.

Well, more like partner in stopping criminals. You met the masked hero a month or two ago on your nightly patrol. You found each other quite useful, what with his spider-like abilities and your ability to change the matter of your body into liquid, there was nothing you couldn’t accomplish together. You were currently on a stakeout, since you heard that there would be a robbery at a local jewelry store.

“Do you have Spider blood?” He squints his eyes at your comment.

“Well, technically no. But a boy can dream.” You chuckle at his comment.

“Sure Spider-Boy, whatever you say.” You both sit in silence for a moment, just watching for the thief and enjoying each other’s company.

“Hey, you wanna play an interesting game?” You look over at the masked hero, a mischievous glimmer in your eye.

“Depends what it is.” His mask eyes turn to slits as he squints his eyes at you.

“What do you say we try to find each other out in the city, our real identities.”

“Why would we do that?” His tone grows confused at your idea.

“Wouldn’t it be cool if we knew each other’s identities? It’s not like we’re putting anyone in danger, and we can make it a challenge instead of just telling each other.”

“I don’t know about this, Matteria.”

“Oh c’mon. It would be nice to talk face to face with someone that goes through the same things as you, right? For me, I know it would be nice to talk about hero stuff.”

“We can talk about hero stuff right now.”

“You’re saying you’re not even the slightest bit curious of my identity.” He looks away from your gaze.

“I didn’t say that…” he looks over at you again, your eyes pleading as you grab one of his gloved hands.

“Please.” He sighs loudly at your plead.

“Fine. But the one who finds the other first is the better hero. And when I find you first, you have to admit that I’m the better hero.” You smile at his conditions.

“And we have to answer 3 questions honestly. We’ll both answer the question, so we can think of one each and then one of them together.” He nods at your request, you could sense a smirk on his face.

“Deal. So what questions should we ask?” You shrug lightly.

“I dunno, let me think” you rub your chin in contemplation.

“Okay, I have one, and you have to answer.” You turn to face him completely.

“Do you go to high school?”

You thought this would be a good question to ask, that would almost half the population you would have to search through.

“I do, what about you?” You nod your head.

“Yup, guess we’re both pretty young.”

“Okay, now it’s my turn. What are your basic physical features, you know, eye colour, hair colour, stuff like that.”

“That’s a pretty informative question, Mr. Man.” He chuckles at your nickname for him.

“But fine, h/c hair, e/c eyes, and that’s all you’re getting from me about that. So what do you look like under the mask Spider.”

“I’m pretty boring, brown hair and brown eyes.”

“Fight me, brown hair and brown eyes aren’t boring, they’re cute.” He chuckles at your somewhat compliment.

“Thanks, I think.”

“Okay final question. Why don’t we ask each other what school we both go to.” One mechanical eye lifts up, as if he’s lifting his eyebrow at you.

“Wouldn’t that make it too easy?” You shrug.

“No, if we don’t go to the same one we’ll be in school so we wouldn’t be able to use it to our advantage. I’m just curious, since you’re pretty smart for being in high school.”

“Alright then, you go first though.”

“I go to Midtown, what about you?” His solid white eyes widen in surprise.

“I go to Midtown too.” Your jaw drops at his confession.

“Huh, maybe this did make it way too easy.”

————————

It was the next day at school, and you were watching all your classmates like a hawk. You were trying to list off all the brown hair, brown eyed guys that were incredibly smart, and the first person that came to your head was Peter Parker.

After all, he did have the best grades in your year. But the more you thought about it, the more impossible it seemed. He was a pretty frail guy from what you remember, so how could he be Spider-Man. That being said though, he was still a possibility, so you were going to check him out.

“Hey Peter.” You smile at the boy, who’s eyes widen at your greeting.

“Y/n, I was just about to come find you.”

“Oh? Why is that?” He crosses his arms, obviously a bit nervous.

“Well, you know… Oh, right. I lost my notes, I was hoping you had some I could uh, borrow.” you raise an eyebrow at his weird behavior.

He’s never asked you for anything in his life and has hardly even spoken to you, so there was definitely something weird about this, but you couldn’t be sure he was Spidey.

“Sure, but… why wouldn’t you ask Ned, or even MJ.” He chuckles nervously at your words.

“They uh, lost theirs too? Yeah, they lost their notes cause we were… hanging out when we lost them.” His hands were swinging wildly around his sides as he told you this.

“Peter, are you okay? You’re extra… enthusiastic today.”

‘This guy can’t be Spider-Man. Hell, he can’t even lie properly.’ You thought, staring at him still fumbling with his words.

“I-I’m fine, are you fine. Well obviously you’re fine, but like fine as in feeling fine, not looking fine.” His eyes widened at what he had just said, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“As much as I would love to watch more of this, I need to get to class Parker. I’ll lend you my notes after class.” You pat his shoulder as you give him a friendly smile.

“In the meantime, you should plan what you’re going to say, you’re not so good at this whole conversation thing.”

“Right. I’ll uh, I’ll do that.” He shoots finger guns at you quickly, before walking away.

“Bless that boy.” You mutter to yourself, before walking to your next class.

——————-

“Here are those notes you wanted.” You hand Peter the small binder of papers from your locker.

“Yeah, thanks for these… I really needed these.”

“So uh, what are you doing after school?” He asks before giving you a short look and adverting his eyes quickly.

“Uh, probably just going home, why?” You give him a slight smile as you tuck the hair in your face behind your ear and shift your weight to your other leg.

“Do you wanna maybe, hangout?” Your eyes widen at his proposal.

You were definitely shocked, you had never even said 2 words to Peter for months, and now he’s asking you to hangout? I mean, it’s not like you could, you had agreed that you would meet Spidey at 3:30. But what was weird was that you actually wanted to. Sure he was a bit awkward and dorky, but he seemed really sweet and kind.

“I’m sorry Peter, I can’t today.”

“Oh, why not?”

“I just remembered I have plans with my friend.”

“Oh, do you mind if I ask who?” He gives you an inquisitive glance as he crosses his arms.

“Peter, I don’t know if you know this, but we hardly know each other.” A smug look takes its place on his face.

“Oh, I think we know each other a lot better than you think.” He winks at you, rather badly you might add.

“Your awkwardness is getting a bit weird now.” You give him a weird look as you close your locker.

“Yeah, that sounded better in my head… can I talk to you in private?”

“You know, I would say yes, but now you’re just acting creepy, so I’m gonna have to go with no.”

“It’ll only take a second… Matteria.” He mutters the last part and your eyes shoot open at the name he calls you.

“What are you…” you quickly start to put the pieces together.

He was Spider-man.

You quickly pull him by his wrist into the nearest empty classroom.

“Spidey?” He smirks at you as he leans on the table behind him.

“Looks like I’m the better hero, huh.”

“How could I have figured out that the geeky, awkward, weak guy in my class is Spider-Man?”

“Wow, you know that hurts more than most the bruises I get from criminals.”

“How did you even find out it was me?”

“Your nervous ticks. You always push your hair out of your face and give half a smile. You also shift your weight. And well, you didn’t really give me a convincing lie.” You mentally scold yourself for giving yourself away.

“I can’t lie? You literally fumbled through our whole conversation earlier. It was cute, but it wasn’t convincing.”

“So you think I’m cute?” He looks up at you, a shy smile on his face.

“Well… you know, kinda?”

“So about hanging out later… you wanna do that as Y/n and Peter, instead of Spidey and Matteria?” You take his hand and start playing with his fingers.

“Yeah, I really do.”

#peter #parker #peter parker #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #tom #holland #tom holland #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #fluff #peter parker fluff #marvel #nervous Peter parker #tom holland fluff #fanfic #fanfiction

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tessatechaitea · 4 years ago

Text

Justice Society of America #8

Oh no! Hate! It must be stopped!

That caption sounded sarcastic, didn't it? It sort of sounds like a centrist arguing against somebody saying something that nobody should be on the other side of. "Of course Black Lives Matter! Nobody is saying they don't! Why even bother bringing it up?! You're just causing trouble!" is the kind of thing that has made me hate people who identify as "non-political" or "centrist" or "libertarian" or "Proud Husband. Father. Christian." Nobody needs to hear from you if the only thing you have to say is that nobody needs to be fighting for the things they need to be fighting for! "If it's already a crime, why do we need more stringent laws for punishing crimes motivated by hate. Aren't all criminal acts hateful?" says the person ignoring reality for their own selfish interests of which I can't even begin to guess. Enough about people who have chosen to be non-people. Let's discuss a comic book from 1993 that probably takes a stronger stance against fascism than a frightening large number of Americans today.

This advert on the inside front cover would be better if the picture over "very rare" was a cow. I mean, it wouldn't work for baseball cards but I would like it better.

I think the best part about actually living in a world where superheroes are real is that day in 5th Grade when Hawkman and Hawkwoman visit your class to talk about Egyptian archaeology. The issue begins by catching up with Hawkman and Hawkwoman as they continue their quest to steal Egyptian cultural artifacts. You have to give them a pass on this though! In 1993, people just believed archaeology was a thrilling way to bring treasures into museums for everybody to share! It's not like we had hundreds of years to reflect on how terrible this practice was. You have to do some cultural math by subtracting the number of years Western culture believed whatever it did was right and just from, I don't, negative 100? Do you think we'll have learned some humbleness and respect in one hundred years? Most kids who grew up in the 70s wanted to be boring ass truck drivers but by the 80s, thanks to Indiana Jones, they wanted to be boring ass archaeologists. Kids aren't the greatest at determining what a fun adult job might be. Did you know there are people who get angry at the supposition that digging up and taking cultural artifacts and treasures from other countries to bring back to your own might be theft? Generally they're the same type of people who believe that all advances to civilization were brought about by white culture. They hold this opinion through absolutely no evidence at all. How do I know they don't have any evidence? Because if they looked for evidence, they'd wind up reading history and realize their claim was too ludicrous to continue defending.

You might think Hawkgirl is commenting on the gigantic sarcophagus the native archaeologists are opening but I know she's making an innuendo about Hawkman's cock because she's doing that thing with her hat where she lifts it up and down and waggles her eyebrows.

It's not really much of a joke though because nobody expects Hawkman's penis to be as large as a fifty foot long sarcophagus. I mean, I'm sure it's big but it's not going to be unwieldy! It's probably almost exactly the same size and shape as his mace. Interlude: here are some Facebook posts I made on several different July 26thes because I guess I think of it as a holiday to entertain my future self every July 26th? Whatever the case, I love Past Me more than Future Me and possibly even more than Present Me. Because of the Hays Code, Alfred Fatcock had to change his name to keep making films. How patriotic would you consider a person who got a flag pregnant? War Games is my favorite movie because it taught me that trying is pointless. The first item on my bucket list is to buy a bucket. End of Interlude. Can you tell I'm stalling because maybe eight issues of this comic book was too much? Here's an adult riddle: What's twenty-five feet long, wrapped in bandages, and has an eye in the middle of its head?

This guy's penis!

I don't recognize the guy with three eyes but I'm sure he's some immortal wizard named Amn Thoth or something. While the Carters discover ancient mummy curses, Johnny Quick tries to convince Rex that his hour of strength doesn't come from a drug at all but deep inside him. He doesn't need to pop pills to be a superhero; he just needs to balance his chakras and figure out his mantra. Then he'll tap into some deep spiritual part of himself that is probably just a meta(l)gene and whammo! Hourman is back and straight edge! But Rex doesn't buy it. Especially since learning his mantra isn't going to cure his son's cancer (which he got from taking Miraclo). Also in the hospital is Wesley Dodd who is doing therapy to recover from his stroke. Plus his friend Bishop Tumutuu who was some guy who fought against Apartheid. And because the Bishop is in the hospital, the white supremacists are gathering outside to not wish him well.

Shouldn't they hear what they have to say and debate them to better strengthen their own side of the argument on why all people should have equal opportunity with all rights and freedoms promised by this country?

I'm absolutely for freedom of all speech. But the problem that the American media and a lot of people on the Internet have fallen into is the idea that all speech needs to be discussed and debated equally. That's the whole "freedom of speech" trap. Whenever somebody on Twitter wants to debate some terrible topic that nearly all kind and forward thinking people realize is a monstrous and terrible idea and you simply mock them for their terrible beliefs or tell them to shut up, they think you're clamping down on their free speech. No, sir. You were able to say the stupid thing you wanted to say. What you actually want is for a Constitutional Amendment that forces me tor respect what you said and debate it as if the matter has yet to be resolved. The media does this all the time by allowing both sides of an opinion to debate which only legitimizes the side with the terrible take. Sure, we should allow racists to go on CNN and declare their stance on race relations. But the people on the other side shouldn't be debating that topic with them. They should just laugh at them and point and tell them how terrible they are. Maybe get some of that slime from You Can't Do That on Television for rebuttals. Freedom of speech needs way more mockery and far less debate if it's going to recover. Hourman responds to the white supremacists with a "None of my business!" because he's a terrible centrist who believes that if the status quo isn't making his life rough, why rock the boat? Also his son is dying of cancer so maybe he's a bit distracted. I shouldn't be so hard on him when he's wracked with the guilt of probably killing his son with his drugs. The white supremacists begin making trouble so it's time for the JSA to put an end to hate! Or will hate win out? I mean, this comic book was written in 1993 and I don't feel like hate has backed down.

Sure, he's against metahumans now. But just wait until one of them decides to wear on of those stupid hats and silly robes!

Watching the speedsters begin to get pummeled by the huge mass of white supremacists, Hourman accidentally balances his chakras! He's suddenly powerful without the drugs or the black lights or the Doctor Fate deep muscle massages! Now if he can convince his son that the power of Miraclo has been inside him all along, his son will have the strength to battle the cancer! Why did I use an exclamation point on that previous sentence when I don't really fucking care about Rex Tyler and his son! Hourman crashes out of the hospital window to save Johnny Quick. He lets Jesse do her own thing because he's heard about women's lib and also she's not an old man whose powers have significantly dwindled over time.

My adrenal gland just got bigger too!

In the end, the Bishop is saved and even Wesley Dodd joins the fight! Or he just absentmindedly shot off his sandman gun and coincidentally put the Bishop's assassin to sleep. It's hard to tell since he's still suffering from his retirement party stroke. The issue ends with Green Lantern surfing the television when he comes upon Carter Hall's interview program where he's interviewing the mummy they dug up, a man named Edmund Kulak. Since Green Lantern recognizes him, I guess he's one of the JSA's foes. According to the Who's Who, Kulak can use his third eye to cause everybody on Earth to hate each other. I guess that's why the white supremacists were acting up (and also wearing eyes on their hats and robes). Having a magical reason for racism is always a better comic book story than acknowledging a lot of people are racist of their own free will. Imagine all the angry letters that the pre-Comicsgate generation would have had to write in! "I'm not racist but I don't think you should portray all white people as racist because that is racist! Logic for the win!" That might seem like I created a 1993 Strawman but have you read the letters reacting to the Tales of the Teen Titans Spotlight on Starfire about Apartheid? My pretend letter was practically verbatim of one or two of the letters Mike Gold had to respond to on that series! Justice Society of America #8 Rating: B-. I think I've read enough old stories about old people fighting immortals. The whole mortality angle is really bringing me down!

#Justice Society of America #JSA #DC Comics #Mike Parobeck #Mike Machlan #Len Strazewski

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softxharry · 5 years ago

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Blacklist (seven)

Harry Styles, one of the FBI’s most wanted criminals turns himself in– and all he wants to do is speak with one rookie agent.

It’s her job to figure him out and it’s his to protect her from her past, but all secrets have to be told eventually.

AN// You can keep up with this story here via the tag HSBlacklist or on Wattpad at brutallybeautiful !

Grace

We learned two things after Harry's stunt he pulled last night. One: Youseff Badawi, a human rights activist is hosting an event tonight whether his life is on the line or not. Two: Youseff Badawi was going to be killed at tonight's event.

Youseff began his organization National Hope in 2012 after his sister was rescued from human trafficking. Since then, Yousseff and his sister Noura have been rescuing young girls from their traffickers and starting them onto a better life. And someone didn't like that.

Someone that we can't stop without Harry's help because Harry is the only one who knows what the assassin looks like—the assassin who they (by they, I mean criminals) call Phantom (I think it's silly too).

I feel like I've been in this situation a thousand times before, standing in front of Harry's makeshift cell, Harry smirking at me. He's facing the wall, hands clasped behind his back whenever the door beeps open. He doesn't turn around to see who it is, but I'm sure he knows it's me.

"I need your help," I mumble quietly, almost afraid to admit it. I can't see his face, but I know the smirk is there. Something has changed between us since last night, or at least I think so. I feel vulnerable around him, closer to him somehow. Armed guards stand behind me waiting for Harry to make some sort of irrational move, but he doesn't. Harry isn't in restraints this time.

"You know what the Phantom looks like, we're compiling a list of everyone who is attending tonight, but-" Harry cuts me off, turning around as he speaks.

There's not a smirk on his face like I expected, but rather his lips are formed into a thin straight line, his eyebrows furrowed. For once, he's serious.

"Gracey, I want more than anything to help you. It's the reason why I'm here," he mumbles. I suck in a deep breath, bothered by his words because I know he doesn't mean helping me catch criminals, he means something more sentimental or sinister—I can't tell which.

"But I won't say another word until the terms of my conditions are met."

And just like that, Harry got everything he wanted. His own personal bodyguard Paul, his own hotel and a title as an FBI informant. It took more than three hours to convince the private board that Cooper has organized to discuss all things Harry, but somehow he did it and somehow he convinced Harry to let him put a tracking chip in his neck. And Harry was somehow on his way to freedom.

Harry steps out of his cell with a wide smile, his eyes shining like he's just discovered a cure for cancer. Agent Hunter is shoving a manilla folder into his chest before he's even over the threshold.

"You got your end of the bargain now we get ours," Hunter grunts. Harry doesn't take the folder and instead lets it fall onto the floor. He looks at me, beginning to say something until Hunter interrupts him.

"I'm right here, you can talk to me," Hunter spits.

It takes everything I have in me to not laugh when Harry looks at me to answer.

"This guy didn't RSVP. I've seen the man. If you want to identify him, put me in that room," Harry said.

"So, you want to go to the party?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

Harry grins, "I thought you'd never ask."

I don't know how I keep ending up in these situations. In a fancy dress, with Harry in a suit attached to my side. But somehow I do. The music is deafening as we step out of the elevator and onto a rooftop filled with hundreds of people dressed just as fancy as we are (and also a few dozen agents acting as security). Harry is greeting people, hugging them, kissing their cheeks, shaking their hands. I stand back idly like an awkward girlfriend at her first family reunion.

I am way out of my comfort zone here and he knows it. Harry grabs my hand, shocking me, and leads me over to a couch where the music is much quieter. We take a seat. I scan the area, looking around for anyone who may look suspicious.

"Do you see him?" I ask.

Harry shakes his head no and sips on the champagne in his hand. He tried to offer some to me earlier, but I am technically on the job, so I couldn't.

"Are you liking D.C.?" he asks, crossing his legs so he's sitting comfortably.

"I guess so," I shrug, shifting in my seat.

"Must be awfully lonely," he said.

I turn towards him and furrow my eyebrows, suddenly becoming frustrated.

"How do you know so much about me?" I huff. "I mean—are you stalking me or something?"

"There," he points suddenly, ignoring everything I just said (typical). He stands up, reaching his hand out to help me up, but I ignore it. I push myself up off the couch using the arm. "That's him, you need to clear the area."

He's pointing to a waiter holding an empty tray and I don't hesitate to pull my gun out of my purse. "Stop! FBI," I shout towards him. The crowd around us erupts in chaos, people screaming suddenly and running away from me towards the exit. The guy takes off and I radio Hunter his location.

I don't know why I thought wearing heels to an event where we were planning on catching someone who's killed hundreds of people was a good idea. It proves quite difficult to run in them. Agent Hunter takes the lead on the pursuit, chasing the waiter down while I slip out of my heels and down the stairs.

I'm running as fast as I can amidst all the chaos and to the floor of Youseff's hotel room. I'm relieved to find guards outside of his room, telling me he made it there safely.

He sist wide eyed on the couch whenever I walk in to confirm that he was safe. I couldn't trust anyone anymore.

Youseff stands and walks towards me.

"Thank you," he said, taking my hand. He places his hand on top of mine. "For everything, you saved our lives tonight."

I smile at him, nodding graciously. I don't know what to say in these situations. Do I say you're welcome, no problem, anytime? My phone starts ringing in my purse and I am thankful that it's there to advert the awkwardness. I pull it out of my purse to see who it is.

Hunter.

I excuse myself and walk out into the hallway.

"It was Harry," Hunter said breathlessly on the other side of the line. "He hired the Phantom."

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. He had to be fucking with me. Someone was seriously fucking with me. I step into the stairwell and walk slowly down to the next floor where Harry was supposed to be staying.

"Think about it. The hostess didn't leave the picture for him. Harry was signaling the hit."

I stop in my tracks, realizing everything I must have missed. Pointing out the waiter was a diversion, I don't realize I am saying it out loud until Hunter excitedly yells on the other end in agreement. It's the first time I've heard his tone be anything other than flat and angry. He had come to the same conclusion. I'm running back up the stairs before I have time to hang up the phone.

I felt so cheated as I ran breathlessly through the hallway to Youseff's suite. Security, or should I say Paul, lets me in without a word. When I walk in, Harry is sitting calmly at the table.

Youseff is standing a mere few feet from him.

"Oh Grace, thank god you're here," he says hurriedly. "This is the man," he said pointing to Harry. "This is the man who wants me dead."

I glare at Harry, looking at him made me feel worse than I already did. I felt foolish for letting Harry do this a second time. Something tells me this time won't end up like the last, Harry won't end up sitting exactly where we want him to in the back of our van and things won't fall right into place.

"You hired him," I say angrily. "How are you going to do it? What's the headline going to read?"

"How about, humanitarian exposed as fraud, commits suicide?"

I look back at Youseff who is standing just fine, but paling by the minute. "What have you done?"

Harry stands up and smells the fresh flowers on the table in front of him. He adjusts his suit, buttoning the second button. "I didn't do anything. The assassin may have slipped him a lethal cocktail. Of the same family he uses to drug the girls he's selling."

Youseff cups his hand over his mouth and slowly kneels down to the floor. I run over to him and check his pulse. It's still there, he's still conscious and breathing.

"He is not the man you think he is. He doesn't free enslaved children, he imprisons them."

Youseff is choking now, holding his hand over his throat as if that will help him get some air. I had no idea what to do, other than to sit there and watch him choke.

"I have the antidote, Youseff," Harry said, pulling a capped needle filled with a red liquid out of his coat pocket. "All you have to do is tell her."

"I don't believe you," I tell Harry, feeling hopeless as I was Youseff struggle to breath. I didn't know how to believe Harry. I couldn't trust him 1. because he's a criminal 2. because he's a manipulative criminal who knows how to get what he wants. And that terrified me.

"Come on, Youseff. A simple nod will suffice," Harry said, bending down next to the choking man. Youseff nods to the best that he can with barely functioning lungs. Harry seems pleased with the admission of guilt and uncaps the needle to shove it in his neck.

The door behind us bursts open and I can hear Hunter's voice immediately asking whats going on. Harry stands up, capping the needle and throwing it on the table. "Looks like he is dying," Harry nods. "Definitely dying."

The sun is peeking over the horizon, the first of the pinks and oranges disappearing behind the mass of buildings, visible only a tiny bit. I felt exhausted and I look like I'm taking the walk of shame. A man stands at the end of the pier, a line casted out into the water, Harry sits on the bench directly behind me and has been for the past twenty minutes without saying a word.

"You look tired," he says huskily, finally breaking the silence. I roll my eyes at him knowing that he can't see. Of course I' fucking tired, I want to say, but instead I stay quiet, until he speaks again.

"Maybe you should go home and get some rest."

"What would you have done if the antidote had worked in time?" I ask suddenly. "It would have exposed you as our informant."

"There was no antidote," Harry says flatly, I glance back at him then immediately turn my gaze back to the water.

"We confirmed that Youseff Badawi was moving money. The man was one of the biggest traffickers we've ever seen. We were able to locate a shipment of girls. And I had no idea. I should have known."

A part of me wanted to cry and another part of me wanted to scream, scream at Harry for everything he's done over the last couple of weeks, scream at the world for being so fucked up.

"We never really know anyone, do we Gracey?" Harry said after a long pause.

And with that, Harry gets up and walks away, leaving me alone on the pier wondering how my life got so fucked up.

#directioner #directioners #harry #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #hsblacklist #one direction #one direction fanfic #one direction fanfiction #zayn malik #liam payne #niall horan #louis tomilson

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dxmedstudent · 5 years ago

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Dx’s Dating Tips #3 -The Profile

This post is about profiles as a whole - the bits and bobs that may not necessarily be in your blurb. Funnily enough, I started these posts months and months ago when I was still actively on those sites. Guess it took me a long time to hit my drafts and publish them, but I think it’s still useful.

Fill in the most useful fields, but don’t wory about listing every minute detail. Some dating sites really seem to go into incredible detail, because data is currency for them. But think carefully about how much information you are putting into your profile, and whether it’s going to look overwhelming and cluttering and hard to read. For example, you can put your hobbies, but stick to things that are most important to you, rather than something you tried, once. But this also means you really should spend some time making your profile actually complete and worthy of being read.

And yes, this also means try not to overstate how much you do things. If someone decided to date you because they thought you liked rock climbing as much as they do, they’ll probably be pretty bummed when they discover you tried it once, took a selfie, then hated it and would never want to try again. Being genuine about what you enjoy is key to finding people with similar interests or people who will respect you for yours.

It also means don’t understate things you do, either. If you smoke and drink, own it. Both those things might be dealbreakers for a lot of people, but you need someone who is compatible to you. For example, lots of people who like to go out drinking want partners who will share that experience with them, whereas people who don’t enjoy that particular pursuit might not want to spend all their dates being dragged round a club with their new SO and their friends whilst they all get plastered. Personally, I’m happy that the guy I’m seeing also doesn’t drink much, and doesn’t smoke; both would be dealbreakers for me, and equally, I wouldn’t want to feel like the ‘stick in the mud’ partner who doesn’t have fun. So I looked for someone with a similar definition of ‘fun’ to me. I heard of couples where one partner pretended not to smoke for the longest time because they knew their SO didn’t want to date a smoker, and I just found that to be such a sad deceit. Give prospective partners an honest chance to see if you are for them. I was quite open early on about my shifts, and my current sightly nomadic lifestyle in medicine; I talk quite a bit about work when dating, it turns out! Really, I want anyone who dates me to know what they are getting into; I don’t want them to feel tricked. Anyhow, despite all my talking about death and medicine, and having less than ideal timetables it seems I can’t put everyone off, and I’m truly honoured to have met someone for whom those parts of my life are part of the deal.

Be honest about your attributes, including things like your body type and height. Yes, it’s silly if someone will only date men over 6ft or women under 80kg, but nevertheless, you’ll want to look for people who will love you for who you are, rather than resent people for wanting something else. It’s pointless to argue with people about what they have decided are their preferences. So many men obscure their height on dating sites because they fear women won’t date a short man, and really tall guys say that women only really want a man who’s somewhere between 5ft 9 and 6ft 2 or so - above or below that, apparently people get put off. But if a woman’s that judgemental they’ll just probably get dumped after the first date, so ultimately lying is still pointless. I personally didn’t care about height at all; some people I met didn’t list their height at all and it didn’t faze me (yep, they were short, no, that��s not the reason there wasn’t a second date). But I think people being honest about their height, particularly if they are pretty short, or pretty tall, is a pretty brave, confident thing to do. You deserve someone who accepts and loves you for whoever you are.

This also includes things like whether you’ve been married or have kids by a previous relationship. Again, if someone isn’t prepared to deal with that, then they aren’t right for you. These are the kinds of things that work best if gotten out of the way early on, because the later you leave revealing big things like this, the more people will feel like important things are being concealed from them. This also means being honest early on (I’d say during messages or around the first or second date) if you’ve just recently come out of a breakup; be prepared that other people might want to take it slow because they aren’t sure if you still have a lot of issues from your last relationship, or they might want to wait until you have taken some time to think and heal after your breakup. For example, one guy mentioned his ex turning up uninvited to events during messaging. He effectively invited me to join his gaming group on a date, having told me that his ex still plays with his gaming group. Now, if I’m dating someone yes, I’d love to meet their friends after a while, but intitially you just want to get to know a person by themselves. I don’t want high romance, but I don’t really want to turn into ‘one of the boys’ after the second date, either. And no, I don’t want to meet their very recent ex at these get togethers, nor do I want to replace her in his gaming group that soon; it all came across as likely to cause drama and hurt to everyone. I thought he would make a genuinely good friend, if I had the time to pick up new friends but I couldn’t see it leading to anything more. He agreed that he still had things to process, and I really hope that he has taken that time, and found that space and that he meets someone lovely. A few guys confided in me that they’d only recently got into dating after long breaks from dating or after a breakup and I don’t think it makes you less dateable, as long as you can make it clear that you are now ready to date and are serious about it, and have gotten to the point where it won’t massively hamper your current dating. Alternatively, if all you want to do is dip your feet in, and you don’t want anything serious then it’s good to be honest about that too; because there are lots of people who are happy with that.

If you’re in an open relationship, be honest. And no, it’s not an open relationship unless your current partner is aware and OK with you seeing other people, and all prospective new interests are also aware of the situation. Keeping anyone in equation in the dark is wrong. Yes, that might eliminate a lot of people, since a lot of people aren’t into that, but lying is not cool, and implicating people in things that would make them uncomfortable is also wrong. Be warned that if you have no photo, or have really blurry obscured photos, everyone is going to assume that you’re either cheating or on the run from the police. I came across one profile where the only picture was the dude in a literal balaclava. I don’t know how he thought he’d attract a woman with a photo that reveals none of his face, but who knows, maybe he got lucky.

Don’t lie about things like whether you want to get married, have kids etc. This is where acting in good faith comes in; tell people the truth, not what you think they want to hear. You need to find people who will want the same things as you, and people can’t do that if nobody is honest. Now, this is the real world, and a lot of people can’t necessarily fit their feelings into a neat ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to those questions. If you aren’t sure, it’s OK to be honest about that; many people just want to see where things go, and that’s perfectly fine. Some people like the idea of these things, but really want to focus on meeting someone right first. Others are pretty sure that they want to be married in like, 2 years, tops, with a kid on the way. Personally, people who are super-keen to marry or have kids soon kind of scare me a little, even though I want those things, because I very much want to take things at whatever pace things come, so I struggled to know exactly how to put that across in my profile. Lying also makes things more difficult for everyone. Some people want casual relationships, but struggle to find others who are open about it. Meanwhile, lots of people who really just want casual setups (and mainly, well, sex) absolutely pretend that they are interested in much more, because they think people won’t give them a chance if they don’t go through the performance of pretending to eventually want a relationship. The thing to remember about people who lie is that it’s easy to promise the world if you have no intention of delivering. So it’s worth bearing in mind that if someone is talking about marriage and kids on like date 3, they might be very, very keen, or they might just be counting on the fact that’s what you want to hear. I wish I could tell you it was easy to tell the two apart. Having seen enough people get hurt by people who claimed to want one thing, but clearly wanted another, I have a hard time trusting what people write in these particular boxes until you really get to know a person.

I don’t think stating how much you earn is important, in fact, I wouldn’t. If you earn a lot of money, the last thing you want is someone who’s sought you out just because they thought you were rich. And yet, a lot of guys post pics next to shiny cars, mention how much their brand new house cost, and write about their summer homes and salary. Some of them even write explicitly that they aren’t into uh... people who are trying to take advantage of that. But that’s no use if your profile just reads like one long advert about how wealthy you are. I don’t know why people who are wealthy often feel they have to make it obvious, but it’s really not necessary. If you want someone to love you for who you are, not your money, then don’t hide behind your wealth, or use it as bait to attract people. If you emphasise only what you bring financially, you will attract people who value you only for that. The easiest way to avoid that is just to be discreet. I didn’t mention what I do or what I earn explicitly in my profile at all; only that I work in healthcare. I love and respect my nurses and physios; any man who’d date a doctor but not a nurse isn’t someone I want in my life.I’d never lie about what I do, but I didn’t think there was anything to be gained by boasting about it. I want someone to date me and find it cool that I happen to be a doctor, rather than someone to be dating me because they think doctors are smart, or rich or the kind of girl their parents want etc.

If you’re really stuck, I’d say that it’s a good idea to take a look at the profiles of people of your gender, to see what other people do, and work out which cliches to avoid. Looking at other profles of any gender can be a great way to see the difference between an interesting profile and a dull one. You’ll find that the more you look at profiles and date, the more you’ll build an idea of what you like (and want) and what you really don’t. I started out fairly neutral and doing my best to be forgiving, but found that I gained strong opinions on what makes a good profile after perusing so many of them.

#dx's dating tips #dx dates #dxdates

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recalibr8 · 5 years ago

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The mEtOHd in my madness

I’d been out with my teen lads on a Friday. We got off the train and there was a young, crumpled woman sat on the platform, fat tears splashing into a puddle of sick on her trench coated lap. I offered her some tissues; I’m a mum, it come with the membership card. After a few sorries she asked “where did you stop?”. It took us a while to realise she meant, ‘where are we?’ She was out by 2 stations which on the face of it wasn’t bad. We pointed her onto the next train, gave her a mint (gold membership benefits) and my youngest shouted “take care of yourself” as we trudged up the platform. We agreed it was probably work drinks getting out of bounds and she’d be ok now she had tissues. But I kept thinking, “where did you stop?”. Where did I stop? Because I’m now AF af.

AF af. That’s alcohol free and doing pretty darn ruddy brilliant. Three months ago I upgraded my BrewDog to NannyState, went Becks Blue and am thinking in an offhand way about brewing Kombucha. I’ve teamed this up with going plasticlite, veganish and kimchi curious. So far, so middle class virtual signalling. But where did I stop?

I’ve been drinking since I was 5. I’d adorably finish up the beer in my parents’ guests glasses and well, kept going. Not in a Drew, Carrie or Liza rehab by 13 sense but I think I’ve probably had my fair share. I’m well aware that I knew, know and don’t know but suspect people who I love who have significant alcohol use problems and this is blog is in no way trying to say my needs are greater than theirs. I know a lot of highly creative endeavours and friendships were found in a gin bottle but also unforgivable abuses. And I know friends whose acts are based around the camaraderie of drinking. And I’d never tell anyone what they *should* do. But like all ex anybodies, I’m annoying about my sobriety journey right now. Bear with me.

But it’s not just me though. I see booze everywhere. For a dose related lethal toxin that’s very effective marketing. There’s a giant ad on Toots Broadway station entreating me to Go Bottomless and every other Facebook ad is for a spirit that promises to make evenings round the back of Catford Lidl magical. And many of these are aimed at women. A recent industry survey found ‘only’ 17% of women drank beer and this needed sorting out. Look out for more lady drinking adverts, they’re coming.

But I wasn’t alcoholic. Was I? Are you? You’re only an alcoholic if you have one more drink than you doctor. I’m

a doctor ... so let’s take a look.

*I’m really low on the alcoholic check list*

I’ve never drank alcohol in the morning, blacked out, been told by others I have a problem, had to apologise...

Ah, I have had to apologise once or twice. Nothing major, just ‘sorry, I was a bit wobbly/silly/rude/loud/insulting/gave you my shoes as a gift’. I once lost my credit and oyster card at the bar of a immersive theatre event though. I don’t know how I got home. I had to find the site manager the next day and he definitely had other things to do. Not long after my bag was stolen in SoHo because I was distracted. Not sure how I got home then either. Friends put me in an Uber after my MA showcase because I wasn’t walking very straight. Or being very nice. So I definitely remember getting home then.

These were all Thursdays or weekends. I’ve always been careful not to have any chance of affecting my work. But yeah, how clear headed was I for my family, myself? And much of this was stress drinking after a week of being a clever doctor. Just loosened up the joints a bit. Particularly if your slightly socially awkward. But I wasn’t a drunk, no. Maybe just a binge drinker. And that’s ok, isn’t it?

*Hangovers are just a thing*.

With only drinking at the end of the week, I was careful not to be hungover at work. But I had a Friday at home hangover where I didn’t get out of bed for the day. I claimed I’d been poisoned. I’d just had one too many Jaegerbombs. I vomited in the taxi. I’ve vomited in several taxis. That’s not a good look at any age. Hangovers are a funny meme, a cartoon of a dog in sunglasses, office banter. It’s your liver crying and your brain folding it’s arms in judgment. It’s not bad wine, it’s bad choices.

*Get kids used to drinking. Like the French. Then they won’t binge*.

My 13 year old buys old vodka bottles from charity shops. Wearing a furry hat, his comedy drunk Russian is not bad I used to have the deepest voice of my friends at 14 so it was my job to buy the booze for house parties. My mother always told me drink a pint of milk before you go out to soak up the booze. At 14. I had a few sexual assaults along the way but if I blame myself that’s victim blaming and I don’t want to be a bad feminist on top of everything. Med school in the 80’s/90’s was all over the drink. Freshers’ week was a booze insurance test. The circle line pub crawl, the Clint Eastwood Appreciation Society, the Med School pub crawl...end at Barts because Smithfield’s liscence meant you’d keep going all night.

*Booze always cheers you up*.

I’ve got to confess, my life has got a lot quieter. I’m going out much less, I leave early, I’m not champagne Charlie any more. I’m always, well, me. My dad was a depressed alcoholic, so was his dad (he ran a tobacconist and offie so that didn’t help) and his dad before him. And I have depression and PTSD. My moods are now not so high, but they are also not so low. This is very strange. I’m hoping this is a good thing. I’ve heard it is. This, this is the mEtOHd in my madness. The mood stabilisation. That’s the plan.

*Being a doctor is just one of those boozey jobs*

Fun quiz! Who do you think drinks the most? Enough to have a problem. Oooh, were good at guessing this in ED. Writers must be bad, farmers, journalists! yes, they’re always drunk, private invsestigators (?), airline pilots (like my dad, I saw what those guys put away). Ok...it’s.

Lawyers - reporting 33% with problematic drinking

Construction workers- 16.5%

Miners -17.5%

Then it’s Healthcare workers, especially doctors (oh no). A. 2012 study of American surgeons published in JAMA Surgery found 15.4 percent had an alcohol use disorder. Female surgeons (25.6 percent) were more likely than male surgeons (13.9 percent) to exhibit symptoms of alcohol addiction. Healthcare professionals in general it’s 10%

https://www.drugrehab.com/addiction/common-professions/

Performing artists and writers - 11.5%

Catering/hospitality -11%

So no pilots then? I think there’s something they’re not telling us or things are much better since the 80’s.  

A 1998 study of junior doctors in Newcastle-upon-Tyne reported that:

* 60% exceeded the recommended safe limits for alcohol consumption

* 36% of males and 20% of females used cannabis

The Sick Doctors Trust says “Since our working lives are spent helping others, it is easy to push aside our own problems, in addition to which, denial is quite common in medical staff. This is not deliberate, but a part of the whole illness of addiction. That addiction is a chronic illness which therefore requires treatment as for any other condition, is now well-established but there is still a tendency to feel that it is a sign of weakness, and that maybe things aren't 'that bad'.’

That some individuals are more prone to developing addiction is generally agreed. There is no single determining factor, but usually a combination of biological, psychosocial and environmental factors - a mixture of nature and nurture. There is now much evidence implicating dysfunction in the Dopamine transmitter system & it’s involvement in craving. There is also evidence to suggest that the effect alcohol has on an individual’s brain is genetically determined. A family history is present in many alcoholics- those having direct family affected being more at risk...

*Its a family affair*

I went to Adult Children of Alcoholics once. It wasn’t for me but what they said made total sense. I take responsibility for everyone, I’m primed for betrayal and disaster and I totally thrive in emotional drama. My dad wasn’t a nice drunk. He made my mum drink when pregnant ‘to keep him company’. She in turn gave babies a tot of brandy to keep them quiet as a stewardess and I can’t imagine my permanently shouting parents wouldn’t have liked us to be quiet babies too. So I’ve got pre and postnatal form. But I don’t have to fix them now. Particularly dad. It’s quite hard to fix dead people.

https://adultchildren.org/

*Booze: the solution AND cause of all of life’s difficulties*

Sick Doctors again “ Alcohol is the commonest substance of abuse in all doctors. Drinking will surprisingly continue despite negative consequences such as job difficulties, relationship breakdowns, financial problems, loss of driving licence; the alcoholic is driven by an irrational compulsion to continue, and frequently results in despair to the point of suicide. Fortunately, the depression associated with active alcoholism often abates when sober.”

http://sick-doctors-trust.co.uk/page/addiction

*I’m not an alcoholic*

and you probably aren’t either. But you might have problematic drinking. I did a survey as part of an UCLH research project. You can too. I lied a bit on it and still came out drinking more than 97% of women my age. Now an icon opens up on my phone every day to that says ‘DRINK LESS’. I stopped leaving my phone on meetings tables.

Drink Less. by Robert West

https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/drink-less/id1020579244

If you are thinking about getting help for problematic drinking or any other addictions including workaholism or have any burnout symptoms for more than 3 weeks, you can of course get staff support and occupational health. But/And there is the amazing NHS Practitioner Health Programme where doctors with any addictions are supported https://php.nhs.uk/ DocHealth is another equally good programme https://www.dochealth.org.uk/. I used the latter when it was MedNet.

So, do I feel amazing? Had I got amazing skin, lost weight, feel energised and hopeful. Urg, not really. I feel a bit scared actually. I’ve lost my social crutch and I’ve stopped going out. I’m worried I’m boring and people will think I’m weird. But....I can get up earlier to walk the dog, I’m moderately less tired and although I’m not skipping down the road happy, the depressive moment I had in spring could have been a lot worse. I think that’s actually amazing. And that’s why I’m doing this. I want to face the world honestly and openly. I want to enjoy my kids before they leave home which is frighteningly soon and weirdly, I want to know my liver replaced itself in a year so I’m literally a new person (don’t google Theseus’ Boat Paradox, life is complicated enough). Oddly compelling, that. So where did I stop? I stopped here. In a weird waiting room in my head. But with the promise of a new adventure through the next door.

But don’t stop doing you, babes. Keep telling me your booze bantz. They are hilarious. Any story that starts or ends with Baileys is only going one way. This clearly isn’t a lecture. Most people can do moderation. And do could I, mostly. And it’s the mostly that’s not good enough. Not for me. Not any more.

Online support - https://www.facebook.com/groups/joinclubsoda/?ref=share

Samaritans- https://www.samaritans.org/

BMA wellbeing including 24 hour support - https://www.bma.org.uk/advice/work-life-support/your-wellbeing

Tea and Empathy for doctors’ online support - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1215686978446877/?ref=share

Al Anon for children of alcoholics https://adultchildren.org/

https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/

Dedicated to my husband who gave up the wine w*nker 6 years ago without any of this mid life crisis fuss. But I gave up meat and caffeine first so I still win.

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elizabethrobertajones · 8 years ago

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12x19 notes

for some reason I got that old advert that’s like, “the future’s bright... the future’s Orange” stuck in my head the entire time. (I mean Orange got bought out by ee and the name vanished so... no, it’s not Orange. :P)

I blame the return of Sam’s orange jacket.

expectations - fairly muted since I read pretty much no speculation over the little break and really don't know what to make of this season in forward planning. Mittens said it best to me last night - that the show is doing quite predictable things but the layers and complexity and subversions on their own playbook are where it's interesting. So in a way it feels like we could map out what might happen in this episode? But I didn't feel like reading that because that would just make it feel predictable to the point of boredom guessing the big beats. And I'm expecting some of thing with the emotional side to be almost unpredictably messy. Like how 12x12 I don't think anyone was going into it thinking Cas was going to have a big i love you moment :P

For the actual writing, this is our potentially bizarre but wonderful combination of writers - Glynn and Berens having a crack at the Kelly stuff, and I think is the first time she's appeared outside of a Buckleming episode, while this is only the second time the Kelly stuff has even been IN a non-Buckleming episode after we saw Cas's side a bit in 12x15 before it got derailed into him going to Heaven, or 12x10 which was emotionally about it but only had mentions either side. Glynn's been huge on consent and attempting to handle things sensitively (to a varying degree of success in implementation according to the fandom, but I award points for trying...) and Berens definitely wants to be a feminist writer and also to varying degrees of acceptance by the fandom, but his heart is in the right place. I think the two of them together would hopefully bring a very different perspective to Kelly's story and this is the episode where I'm hoping they make the most of the fact this storyline is happening... Plus I'm fairly sure this is the one directed by Amanda Tapping so there's that :3

recap starts right off with what Cas has been up to this third of the season. I was starting to forget who he was. Dean is worried about the same thing. Blah blah Kelly, Dean worrying about Cas, blah blah Kelly and Dagon, Eileen being a BAMF, where's Cas is he okay, Dean has the Colt.

I've never really ranked recaps out of 10 or anything but that was a pretty good one for all the layering in how Dean's been worried about Cas in between all these other events taking place, and also making it SO CLEAR that Dean is the one who's been worried about Cas

Kelly's looking great >.> Dagon appears to have moved her to a dungeon. Lovely. She's got the worst beside manner ever.

Or it's just the basement of a horrible shack. LOOKS like a dungeon, which I think is the point.

Oh gosh Dagon is properly scary, and Kelly gets some self-reflection... Or, well, her reflection is broken by the mirror and she's just a faceless baby bump. Great shot.

Oh no Kelly no... I actually care about her now and she got to actually say some actual words about how she feels and how this has affected her, aka jumped right over my extremely low bar for her treatment that Buckleming weren't exactly straining themselves to get over, and now she's trying to kill herself. :< :< They finally let the actress DO something where the scene was about HER and not JUST her baby, and it was incredible and terrible and arrrghhhh

I hope everyone was okay after that opening because that was pretty harsh. Bobo puts suicide-related stuff in a lot of his episodes with about the reliability of Buckleming and creepy pregnancies, but there's some pretty vivid, awful suicides on screen thanks to him, and this was a long beautifully shot sequence of her bleeding out

I mean I assume she'll be fine and I was waiting for the twist before the title card where the nephilim forces her back to life, but I guess they're leaving us on that for now >.>

(This was necessary to do, though, both because Kelly's really in a place where only extreme reactions can happen to prove anything, as it's such a tense bad situation, and also SHE needed to take an action to be a remotely fleshed out character after all she's been dragged through so far, and ALSO we need to see some proof the nephilim is as bad as it is, burning bible aside, that it's just not quite enough of a real threat or presence - something everyone is talking about but with the 9 month wait for a baby to pop is very hypothetical for the intervening time - I was actually expecting her to try cutting it out of herself, or at least if I had an R rated horror version of this show I would show that >.>)

(I mean if I was in control of an R rated version of the show we would probably not have this plotline :P)

*adds Sam drawing on the table to my list of offences he's committed against the bunker*

He really has it in for that table

That was a pretty fun montage of him doing stuff and thinking on screen for us. Weird as it may be I don't get the feeling the Winchesters think a lot because they usually show us them right when they walk in having googled something or already worked it out. We get middle of episode research montages but only a couple of episodes start on reading montages and usually to show the research is futile... Actually showing Sam puzzling out the thing he was wondering about before we get Dean wandering in and Sam explaining what that was all about is... weirdly refreshing... Proof they use their brains.

He's working out when Nephilim are born, which seems to be a somehow more complicated, magical thing than simple biology, but does explain the way he was talking about it in the promo, which without the montage sounded like another boring, “so I googled it and surprisingly there was a website to work this out”, kind of explanation.

It does get boring to keep showing that, even if thinking montages take up time, they LOOK good and are better storytelling for the characters.

Wait if you guys went to prison around early december, you DID spend Christmas and maybe Dean's birthday in the lock up... Oh no :P Was that ever actually confirmed? I thought we went the other way on that when we were trying to work it out over Christmas.

CAAAAS

Cas cas cas cas cas

"Hello." That is still the term? Been away a while :P

I love Dean's face as he watches Cas come down to join them. He's just stunned to see him.

Annoyed because he's concerned

"working with the angels"

*Dean's face puckers up comically*

Cas lies to them *Dean starts to make the 6x15 pouting face* ("that's how he does it") ... I have to screencap this I've never seen Dean make such a weird face since then :P

He goes through like eight different emotions and there isn't room enough for them all on his face. He's still pouting about one thing and then Sam says they're glad Cas is back and he overloads :P

Bless Amanda Tapping for capturing that on camera.

yikes Dean, once again with the concerned and angry thing >.> Pls stop being angry at Cas because you can't handle missing him that much. Sam says they're glad Cas is back because that's what you're supposed to say and he's happy Cas is back and there's some extra help and you know sometimes Cas is here and sometimes Cas isn't but when he is he's helpful and they like each other and get on... and meanwhile Dean has burned through like 3 diaries of emo teenage sobbing about if Cas likes him and why isn't he returning his calls or texts in the last month, and he's been on a rollercoaster of angst about it all and now Cas is back it's like wtf does he even CARE i thought he said he LOVED us how can he be so heartless FML *sounds of Evanescence playing from Dean's room* *sam does not ask*

And Cas pulls that Cas face he does when Dean gets like this (I mean they were standing around the table almost like this in 8x22 when Dean ripped into Cas, and again in 11x07... Never mind how Dean was acting in 12x10 at the start where, yep, Cas comes in just like in 8x22. War room table. Where the family goes to have its wars :P)

12x10 already subverted this while we were on the middle of the season emotional development phase of the story, so we'll see how it goes here

Dean's complaints about being ditched and ignored are definitely straight from his diary

"What the hell's wrong with you, man?"

*Cas can't answer*

Dean's like, whatever, and storms off to his room

*sounds of Evanescence playing even louder while he writes a few more pages in his diary*

BMoL like "well we got some useful intel, but we need to edit so much romantic tension out of this before we can show it to the higher ups"

I suppose Cas can't answer because he's lying and for some reason or another everything sucks and what's wrong with him presumably boils down to the problem of home and family and whatever was put to him in Heaven, which I assume is directly relating to his conflict about home and family. The fact he can't answer is a very literal demonstration of him being trapped between all this and not able to answer. For whatever reason he's come back/been allowed to come back/been sent back, he is still stuck on their offer and walking into Dean throwing an almighty strop about Cas's absence and how much it's hurt him not to have Cas there... Not good for his ability to immediately answer.

[note with hindsight: okay don’t normally do this but the episode INTENTIONALLY wiped this off the slate and it’s not even a useful tangent thought. Guess this was left over what we were meant to be feeling (Kelvin asks Cas this in 12x15 after all which WAS the last word we had on it) but Cas has already made up his mind and his declaration of his motivations in this episode made this pretty obvious in hindsight that it was just what the angels THOUGHT Cas might be motivated by still but he really has gone all in with the Winchesters - of course only at the point it can get thrown away by other factors, and choices... Did have some other thoughts about Cas not being sure he belonged so a more subtle way of analysing it that Cas was realising he might not BELONG belong, but he would have to act to protect Dean from afar, and the cost of his friendship - well, Dean was ALREADY pissed at him so Cas will do what he has to >.>]

Also. Cas got all of Dean's calls. So, like, that's the same as 8x02 and "I prayed to you, every night!" "I know"

And while we're here, of course I shouldn't bring this in but what was Amanda Tapping around for during season 8, but pretty much entirely the Destiel scenes - and in this case, "you're hoping Castiel will return to you... I only wish he felt the same way" - now Cas returns and to Dean it seems like, well, he doesn't feel the same way.

Dean hides in his room. He's not listening to Evanescence. He's doing some more angry searching for Kelly or whatever. WHATEVER *pouts harder*

Cas knocks, doesn't get an answer, and comes in anyway. In 10x03 he knocks and waits until Dean invites him to come in - a much more sensitive situation where he was concerned about how Dean felt in a way where Dean was sad and fragile. He's being a bit fragile now, in a slightly more ridiculous way, but Cas is just gonna barge in now. This isn't Cas being "such an angel" about doors (re: 9x22 and Gadreel barging in on Metatron, hi Dabb) which was something we were discussing after 10x03 and how Cas had a, well, not-angelic approach to doors. Cas CHOOSES to ignore the lack of invitation and barge in anyway and when it comes to Cas and social nuances, it's always worth pointing out what he does and doesn't already know.

[edit with hindsight: also - early warning he’s violating the space by not respecting Dean’s privacy and that this WAS an intrusion. I actually didn’t remember to analyse what I thought Cas was up to here, mostly because he WAS acting shifty so I didn’t know what to trust he was doing but not enough to guess what he WOULD do :P]

Also how to know if you still ship the thing: obviously predicted the only reason they'd show Dean in his room after he stomped off alone was if Cas came for a round 2 without Sam around to make it hard to talk, and for them to chat in a more personal, less conflict-y environment. And yet as soon as I see his dumb face on my screen my heart skips.

I think this is only the second time Cas has ever come into Dean's room, officially, aside from 10x03.

...

*rewinds*

D-did Cas just... break up with Dean by giving him back the mix tape they made out to at prom or something

What the fuck

*rewinds*

"I just wanted to return this"

No okay Cas definitely just broke up with Dean by giving him back the mix tape they made out to at prom

Why though

Why would you even write this into your show

"It's a gift. You keep those."

Dean you are so broken hearted I'm gonna die

*Evanescence blaring in Dean's soul at top volume*

I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave 'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me You used to captivate me by your resonating light Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years You still have all of me, me, me

("My Immortal" - it seemed fitting :P)

Yes I remember being 16. Who doesn't regret some things.

Um I literally don't have any analysis of their interactions here because my brain shorted out and all I can think of is that this was literally the stupidest thing they've ever written if they don't think Destiel is a thing. I mean look at it.

At some point in the last say 5 years or whatever Dean's made Cas a mixtape.

And then Cas tried to give it back because Dean was a dick to him when he was upset about Cas leaving and not returning his calls.

And Dean was like fuck off it was a present because oh my god what the fuck Supernatural

I need to keep watching because I could very easily sit here yelling at the screen for the rest of the day and I only just remembered that Kelly's off dead or not in a bathtub and there's real problems here which aren't these two emo 16 year olds figuring out what a crush is in glacial slow motion.

Oh NO there's a close up on their hands as Cas takes it back. And Cas makes another noise like he might say something and he doesn't and I'm actually going to CRY with FRUSTRATION

Dean actually tries a little to explain why he's pissed from his POV without resorting to Evanescence lyrics.

"WE didn't know what had happened to you. WE were worried about you"

Dean you may have missed the recap, but uh, Dean it was all about you missing him. Last episode Sam even was like "he'll be fine" and you were like "..."

"I didn't mean to add to your distress" you need to not sound sarcastic when you say these things because I know you mean it but you still sound pissed off with Dean and it's not heeelping

Cas breaks my fucking heart talking about how he needed to bring a win back for Dean after failing so many times in a row and then Dean turns around and finally stops giving Cas the cold shoulder (LOL SHOULDERS) and faces him and says Cas isn't the only one "rolling snake eyes" (I'm quoting just because I love how Dean talks, I don't have anything profound to say about the gaming reference)

Now Dean is sounding as miserable as Cas

wait hang on I just remembered that Dean gave Cas a mixtape

They seem to be having a deep conversation challenging each other about if they would kill an innocent, phrased in those terms - I think Cas wants Dean to admit he couldn't because he's having doubts, but Heaven would want him to do it and Cas looks to Dean for guidance. Dean mentions how they've been researching how NOT to kill the baby to not much luck showing they don't WANT to but Cas is testing if this is even their last resort. The moral certainty in the situation is all messed up for them. They never want to kill innocents, but Sam at least has done it before intentionally for the sake of saving the world (4x22) and as much as they like finding other ways, the fate of the planet is a pretty strong motivator to go into a morally grey area...

Dean caves and says they're trying to find another way.

We as in you and me, dumbass.

Less dumb, less ass, more trusting couple :3 That's their un break up get back together code word, because 9x10 put them back together

I had the worrying thought Cas gave the mixtape back because he thought DEAN had broken up with HIM and that Cas had to reluctantly return all the things Dean gave him because if they were broken up what would Cas want with them any more they'd just remind him of Deeeean

Mittens also suggested to me that it was Cas trying to show Dean that he felt he'd messed up and was trying to apologise and show that he knew he'd hurt Dean and that he didn't deserve the mixtape any more and this is honestly the worst thing I've ever read so I need to try and watch the rest now

oh god I shouldn't have paused where I did because the next thing Dean does is get up, walk into Cas's space, talk about Team Free Will to Cas's face and I feel a piece of my soul that has been soaked in bitterness that Cas was unconscious and had no idea Dean called it that sarcastically once a million years ago, has finally been put to rest that Cas is now officially, knowingly, a member of Team Free Will and also that Dean remembered calling it that, apparently thinks of them as it.

It's so fucking fanservicey but you know what it's season 12, I fully intend to buy this on DVD when it comes out, I deserve my little TFW loving heart to have some fan service of Dean calling them that again despite it being one of those things where logically I'd say Dean should never repeat it because it was a off-hand comment that got blown all out of proportion by the fandom loving having a thing to call the squad.

(The part of me that makes bad speculative decisions is remembering that Dean used that phrase when he was resisting Michael and was a direct result of talking to him face to face and being told he had no free will - how that relates to the theme of the season is interesting because they're not facing any direct threat to their free will, apparently. But their choices still matter. Michael's not coming back. She says loudly and firmly to herself.)

[edit from later: well THERE’S your direct threat to your free will!]

Also it's including Cas and Dean using that phrase is a strong reminder that it's not just the brothers Winchester, but that Team Free Will is the main unit of the show - and Dean knows and acknowledges that (and has probably been reading Winchester Gospels meta to try and work out what would be the best songs to give Cas on his mixtape and incidentally picked up the idea the fandom liked calling them that)

[edit from later: reminding Cas he was a member of Team Free Will was fucking inviting that, you take it back Dean Winchester. I hate hindsight-activated dramatic irony]

They were standing so close. I think Dean patted Cas's shoulder briefly on the way out the door. Also once the "official" conversation was over, Dean found it much harder to meet Cas's eye, probably because they're that close to kissing if there's nothing else to discuss.

Dean leaves and Cas is left standing in his room - the camera goes back to his face as he looks mournfully around Dean's room. Like. At his bed or something idk I'm not an expert

[efl: oh my god]

I love Amanda Tapping and Bobo and Glynn. Buying them all a round.

Anyway Kelly and Dagon.

Oh dear, bloody bathtub, and no sign of Kelly?

She's sitting in the corner wrapped in something that looks kind of like an American flag or has one in the corner, and is kind of stunned in a I just had a religious experience way about her baby not letting her die. She loves him, is the problem.

Look at all this character complexity wow

She spoke to her baby about how they couldn't be together and they had to die, but the baby saved them both - for now - and honestly she was a religious woman anyway... I wonder if she thinks that the baby preserving its safety in the womb while its not ready to be born is a sign it will protect her and Dagon is wrong and that the baby loves her back... A good cover for if we go back to Buckleming characterisation, Kelly being reluctant and protective of the baby even if she obviously hates being imprisoned and is terrified, we now have a few different sides to her feelings about it explored...

*Amanda messing around filming through the bunker railings because they're fun* this time Sam caught in a circle. He was caught in a triangle in 12x16 so I'm starting to think the theme is that Sam is trapped, in a weird way. Not sure if foreshadowing or representative of his mental state. Obviously he floats around on the surface a lot making head choices instead of heart choices, and they still think they're working for the BMoL even if it's shady and weird, they're still technically ON that decision, or, well, Sam is. Even if this episode is unrelated, the triangle was pretty much for that in 12x16 as far as I could tell, so now it's just repeating Sam is trapped. As well as sitting at the Bunker table with his feet up so he's lost 2 tally marks already towards wanton bunker mistreatment and we're like 10 minutes into the episode...

Uhoh, Sam isn't sleeping. Dean seems to be wandering through the Bunker, hopefully carrying a cloud of "we're communicating now?" with him. Maybe they will TALK *gasp* *sound of a glass shattering in the otherwise silence*

Sam: so we can't find Dagon Me: you better not fuckin say what I think - Sam: what if we find the nephilim Me: ho don't do it Sam: it's half-angel Me: fuck off Sam Sam: remember Gadreel Me: EVERY DAY Sam: there was a spell Me: I FUCKING KNOW Sam: I'm an idiot Me: Listen we have proposed this idea like every single random plot twist that's happened since 9x11 and if you say what I think you're about to say then yes I'm sitting with Dean and judging you from here to ever for this Sam: omg how did we forget we had that grace extracting needle thingy in the basement for 3 years Me: Because you're a fucking idiot and I love you but you need to know.

I watched 9x10-12 very recently, like, this week recently, and I am distressed and Sam is predictable if you have been screeching through the walls of reality at him for a few weeks - apparently he heard me

Sam is also sitting in the library, not in the exact place he was in 9x10 in his head, but Dean just went to get a beer and came found him and in 9x10 imaginary Dean yelled at Sam if he wanted a beer and didn't show up so this somehow folded the entire thing back in on itself and this is why Dabb era agitates my migraines

I just can't believe that for once in our fuckin' lives we were like what if this happened and then a few weeks later on the show Sam's like wait what if we actually did the thing that the fans all instantly decided we should do

Dean's "yay we found another way!" look

Cas isn't in his room (CAS HAS A FUCKING ROOM IN THE BUNKER PARADE) and I am so baffled because I thought that he was still in Dean's room chilling on Dean's bed waiting for him to get back with the beers that I couldn't understand why Dean even thought Cas was in another room.

I mean to be fair the show has been so fan fictiony I can be allowed to forget that Dean supposedly wouldn't forget that

shoving aside my mistaken idea Cas was still in Dean's room, Dean gets a whole lot of sad music while staring mournfully into Cas's room after Cas was last seen staring mournfully into Dean's room

TBH Dagon's starting to sound more and more like an overbearing helicopter parent who has the whole plan for lil Satan Jr's life. Does mother know best? It's literally a debate of interpretation coming from their desires - Dagon wants him to be an evil monster who takes over the world and consumes everything. Kelly just wants him to be a regular kid (and Sam and Dean have maybe hit on the way to do that) and interprets his actions as loving her back and using his powers for good.

I suppose if Satan jr isn't evil then it'll be a story about mother's love being right, which could be interesting with where the Mary stuff goes. I still hope there's a reckoning about Sam and Mary and the Azazel deal which of course this mirrors even if so far it's been a bit weird about it because it's just kind of over there happening. Sam got to explore this with Magda and the Hitler's great niece thing, and came to the same conclusion they weren't evil, whatever their family or powers were. And same for himself, something he had to cope with (the Hitler episode makes more sense now with the nephilim story). Now we have the nephilim and Sam has been keeping himself up at night until he hit on a way to give it a chance from birth to be good and uncorrupted, like he never got.

Dagon's talking about being right at the baby's side, about nurturing and loving him - being at his side to help him kill everything, like a mother should. Now we have Dagon actively competing to be the other mother figure, the evil one. Kelly and Dagon as like, shoulder angel and demon to the baby. Two competing motherly instincts. Possibly representative of the torn loyalties/actions Mary's been through, from her deal with Azazel through to deciding to work with the BMoL and all the Ketch stuff, on the Dagon side, and her genuine love for Sam and Dean and wanting what's best for them on the Kelly side. As a metaphor for her entire influence on their lives and the story of the show, the Dagon side has utterly won out, as her deal took her from Sam and all she could do was offer one "sorry" as a ghost (the loving, ineffectual Kelly side), before Sam was left to the vulnerability of being jerked around by demons and eventually by Lucifer himself until he was possessed by him. But Kelly has a trust in the baby's nature, and Sam is inherently good, although tbh I may be forgetting everything but has this literally not been addressed from Mary's POV since 12x03 (hi Berens) where her idea of Sam and Dean were represented with the little 4 year old ghost for Dean, and the FREAKY MONSTER BABY in the crib? I was so sure there'd be a deeper exploration of Mary's issues with this - that Sam had been made into a monster and what he'd been through. Kelly having a moment where she is so convinced by Dagon's words that the baby is a monster that she'd rather kill herself to take it out with her, might mirror the sort of revulsion Mary COULD have, even for a moment, learning what Sam was made into. But Kelly loves the baby anyway and trusts its nature and intentions.

We'll see who's right.

Cas cas cas cas

He never looks happy. I can never tell when he's just grumpy or actually worried about something.

But in this case, yeah he stole the Colt :P Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal.

Blah blah stuff I was saying about homes and loyalties. And now I get why Mittens was suggesting he gave the tape back as an apology - he knows Dean will be mad about what he's about to do, and already IS mad at Cas for how he's acted so far, so really what hope does Cas have of escaping with Dean's good opinion after doing what needs to be done (he hasn't said it yet but pfft I'm deep in season 9 now, that phrase haunts me). If he WAITED he'd know Sam hit on an answer and they could have TFW'd it, but his loyalty to Heaven has confused things. This is 6x21 I guess - Cas comes in to have an emotional conversation with Dean at the end of 6x20 but in 6x21 Bobby reveals he stole important lore he had on opening Purgatory - in fact, it WAS the lead Cas needed to get the thing done. So we're still on the season 6 repeat, but of course Cas is more reasonable even if he's conflicted right now and seeming to pick Heaven (mostly because he's conflicted and even if Dean's pissed at Cas he makes it really super clear he loves him and sees him as part of the team as well - now for Cas to catch on :P) ... I think there's time for Cas to come around that he didn't have in season 6 as this is earlier in the season.

UGH Cas you need to change your phone background. WHY is it still the Buddy Boyle cloudburst. Did you steal your phone from an angel you killed back in season 9 or something? I mean I know you have a new phone since then so why do you keep using that background???

dear art department,

get a new picture of the sun coming from behind a cloud, seriously,

love from,

someone who re-watches season 9 all the time

Anyway that's a lot of missed calls and texts from Dean - after that apology, right back to doing the same thing.

The fact Cas takes his phone out and looks each time while it rings out is just awful

the decisive way he hits the reject call button and tucks his phone into his inside pocket, next to his heart - and where he was keeping the mix tape

Kelvin literally spelling out "You're doing the right thing, putting angelkind above the Winchesters" pfft

pointing out someone is doing the right thing as a reassurance IMMEDIATELY says there's a conflict whether this is the right thing or not, and then he makes it clear that Cas is putting angels above the Winchesters I mean, this is basic :P Cas belong with the Winchesters, heaven is manipulating him, he needs constant reassurance it's the right thing while being torn by all the love and family and having a room and Dean making him mixtapes...

But then Cas turns it around that he isn't dealing with this conflict at all, actually, and he's like, I'm doing this FOR the Winchesters (that word again - "for" - what Cas uses every time he makes a decision, and while dealing with the consequences, explains that it was FOR them, or has someone else tell him it was all FOR Dean or whatever (hi Metatron). He is putting them above everything again, like he did in 12x09 when he killed Billie - he'd rather do something reckless and stupid to keep them AWAY from a problem that could get them hurt, and he will lose their trust and faith but know they're alive and well... Same deal in season 6, never coming to them. "where were you when I needed to hear it?" - well, giving you back your fucking mixtape because it is a symbol that we love and trust each other and don't take that back even when we hurt each other.

I think the problem is Cas still feels like an angel to them (Mittens is watching 6x20 over there and mentioning it just enough to drive me crazy :P) - he still considers himself the Winchesters' guardian... Aka he is an angel who will outlive them and he just wants them, from an abstract, faraway place, to be happy and well... He will sacrifice anything to get that done but Dean (and Sam) just want him around hanging out with them, as part of the family unit, TFW working together on a problem and doing it the hard way as long as it means honest, together, and as a team. And for Cas to be integrated into the family, and maybe there are easier shortcuts (the lazy way to kill the monster is just to bring the Colt along instead of doing extra research to figure out a better way - the theme of the season being better ways) but better to do things the harder way and get the better result and to all love and trust each other at the end of the day and to feel happy in what we did, not sick and morally compromised.

(I really hope Dean admitting he wanted to find a better way as a way of saying he didn't want to kill the nephilim is the guidance Cas needed - that this subverts the "i watched you rake leaves" thing but... aaaah)

Anyway Cas's face when he says he'll kill the girl so they don't have to... CAS the call you rejected was because they FOUND THE BETTER WAY

Also not for nothing but the Colt can't kill Lucifer - how confident are we it can kill his kid?

But pfft Joshua thinking Cas is doing it to save his reputation - that he cares about the Winchesters more than Heaven - and Cas is like pfft screw my reputation in Heaven I'm doing this to protect Sam and Dean from tarnishing their lovely little souls.

pfft

hey a redshirt angel showed up

Cas leading a bunch of angels while holding the Colt. I am confused about how much I like this. I don't like it at all because of what he's doing but it's also sort of cool to see Cas at work doing stuff by himself (ish) like how he naturally leads angels, how he has the Colt (and the angels follow his lead because he has 1000x the experience of them put together but the lil baby has shot one shotgun once in his whole life... uh.)

We need the gun range scene where Dean teaches Cas to shoot

I like that Dagon is watching TV though. I mean she has a pretty boring job tbh - she has to wait out a pregnancy and she's confident the baby she wants to survive will survive and she doesn't care about the mother's survival so what else is there to do but watch TV

Seriously, Cas is still just sneaking through the house and I have no idea if he knows how to shoot it or even hold it. The one promo pic of him with it wasn't super inspiring. I sort of feel like he's going to waste a bunch of bullets.

Be hilarious if he had an Eileen parallel since that was even in the recap and Eileen and Cas were paralleled so much in 12x17 - why wouldn't Cas have an epic slo mo but Dagon dissolves away and random redshirt angel gets it? :P

LOL Cas shot and she disappeared

*awards self some chocolate*

He didn't get the slo mo or kill the other guy but I'll fuckin' take it

now he has to decide, Dagon or Kelly as the second bullet?

Or just give up now and maybe she'll let them go because it's hilarious to watch them run

oh look Dagon's about to kill the red shirt

anyway Cas was lining up another shot at her while she was distracted - prioritising killing her over killing Kelly - and then Kelvin stops him and tells him to find Kelly. Obviously to kill her, but I feel like Cas is gonna make off with her if the promo pics are anything to go by - tempted by the idea of a better way? Just can't kill her? I should prrroobably just watch... No point speculating things randomly when I don't have any meta ideas for why that aren't obvious :P

Kelvin is pretty brave to leap into that fight - I hope he doesn't get dusted

Cas holding the gun at hip height also means he's shooting at Kelly's stomach if he can fire

He did change the way he was holding it from the other times so I think that's very symbolic now.

Also the camera is making Cas into the monster, and Kelly is terrified :<

Yep she remembered his name and Cas bottled out of killing her and made off with her. Which I think also bought Kelvin some screen time because Dagon was too busy realising her captive was unattended to finish him off.

Cas had Kelly at his mercy and couldn't do it, so I suppose now he calls up the Winchesters and fesses up?

This is the halfway point of the episode

Oh look now Cas has betrayed them, SAM gets to make the call - 7x01 there, Dean stops reaching out to Cas, Sam does it instead because Dean is feeling too betrayed and hurt to deal with it. The first call was probably "dude where are you, we found a better way" but this is immediately post betrayal

When the animated japanese erotica thing came up again in 12x06, I did not seriously credit that we'd get a repeat of the whole shebang :P

Dabb era, man. Fuckin' Dabb era

Anyway Dean's angrily loading guns which he does when he's pissed

Pfft Dean and the Colt... it's a thing. He had it under his pillow. So Cas WAS staring longingly at Dean's bed and wanted the uh, phallic gun that was under it. The gun that Dean's trying to absorb into his own being because he has such a thing for waving the phallic gun around and wanting to shoot it.

Pfffffffft.

And he feels used because Cas came into his room and took something private and trusted from his bed - they had a MOMENT and Dean dared to express his love for Cas and... this is how Cas repaid him.

Listen this is why I don't speculate: the little clip of Dean looking pissed when they meet Cas at the motel? Way past the halfway point because I haven't even seen it yet. Dean isn't pissed because Cas hasn't talked to them for months and that's the first time he sees him. He's pissed because he made Cas a mixtape, Cas tried to give it back, then Dean professed his love, and Cas betrayed the trust of his BED.

Dean is a lover spurned and he wants to kick Cas's butt for it - he starts talking about Cas being "feathery" and turning him back into an angel (or junkless or whatever) whenever he's really pissed. The more he's happy with Cas the more human he is ("morning, sunshine, want some coffee?") and the more upset and spurned he is the more his language refers to Cas as an angel and all the shit Dean's said about them since season 4 comes back up.

And he pointedly packs an angel blade. I mean, he's seriously feeling violated by this >.>

Sam plays the mediator a lot because Dean and Cas can be so fucking unreasonable about each other because they're emo teenagers when it comes to their feelings for each other. It's not Sam's personality, per say, it's just he had to watch his brother say he'll kick Cas's ass while packing an angel blade and Sam has to be like "!!! no !!!"

"He came into my room and he played me" "He played us both"

^ Sam popping up in the background "and Sam!"

Just... the fact Sam is so tacked on after Dean and Cas had a deep personal moment about the fucking mixtape Dean made Cas (I haven't stopped grinning since that happened and it's really affecting how I view this episode). Sam just isn't personally violated after a deep emotional moment.

"He came into my room"

I mean

It's so PERSONAL

(You’re talking by the war room table - bad idea)

And that could mean anything to Sam - he doesn't know it was JUST about the mixtape, and that Cas essentially was relying on Dean storming out the room as he usually does when he talks to Cas to get the Colt. I mean, Dean n Cas could have had a wild make up sex moment, and then Dean went off to get beer and left Cas lying in his bed, where he just so happened to get his hands on the Colt. Sam doesn't know the details of this violation :P

(But, ignoring the gross romantic overtones of what ACTUALLY happened, this is how it's playing)

*Cas angry driving*

Kelly trying to make light of the fact Cas didn't murder her, like, thanks, you came in and pointed a gun at me but then bottled out and somehow it's still the best thing that happened to me all day.

Cas looks sadder than ever. "Please don't thank me. I had a mission and I failed." Now he's got all emotionally messed up by not wanting to kill an innocent, Sam and Dean are in trouble, and he knows the ball is back in their court if he can't do the one thing he thought he had to to make this go away for them. His sadness is that they're going to get entangled in this again one way or the other. And instead of feeling like he took the moral high ground, and that it's good he didn't kill Kelly, it's just another list of failures this season - the vampire hunt, not finding Sam and Dean in prison, letting Kelly get away the first time, probably a ton of feelings of blame for all the other episodes where they didn't have stunning results that he was involved in like 12x07, 12x10, 12x12...

"And now I don't know" - Cas not knowing what to do is when he panics. He likes knowing what to do :< He has a wee bit of a bad track record when he doesn't know what to do with himself, whether it's because something else latches onto his lack of direction, or he leaps into a bad decision by himself...

Dagon lying to Lucifer - does that even work?

Nope.

"Which one?" "Castiel" *Lucifer literally breaks down into hysterical despairing laughter* I think he never wants to hear that name again...

he called Cas a "purse dog" which is even worse than the normal dog references levelled at Cas. Yikes.

That was actually not a cringeworthy scene, maybe because Lucifer and Crowley weren't talking :P

Is Cas actually trying to call Sam and Dean?

Nope, he called Joshua. Oh dear, he was getting orders. He sounds so season 4. And that defeated tone of voice as he recites to Kelly how she has to die.

(Oh no, Cas actually EXPLAINING what would happen if a human stepped through the gate with the sort of technical detail nerds eat up, and Cas sounding all cosmic and like it's not weird at all to casually contemplate what would happen to your atoms when you tried to go through a gate to Heaven that wasn't meant to let you through... I've always loved physics professor Cas, especially a non-AU one where he just goes to teach it because why not.)

"Your child could bring the universe to its knees" "Or lift it to its feet. This baby - nothing is born evil" "I can't take that chance. None of us can."

*flails at these lines* I'm starting to like Kelly. She's arguing a pretty simplistic POV but it's one in line with the whole Team Free Will thing and the idea of hope - this season has had a lot of hope and hopelessness. The 3rd way isn't mentioned - that it's a normal baby and Kelly goes to live a regular life and all the powerful forces lose interest in her and the baby... In a way Cas's POV is mired in years of trauma and saving the universe and making complicated shades of grey decisions and harsh choices for the greater good, or, well, for Dean. Because of Dean. Everything always about Dean.

I don't WANNA make everything about Destiel but "none of us can" is about Dean, and Dean made Cas a mixtape and everything is awful

Poor Kelvin.

"W W C D - what would Castiel do?" that's the weirdest Jesus imagery attached to Cas but I kind of want one of those rubber bracelets they used to hand out with phrases like that on :P

of course what Cas would do is the big question, and so far he's been pretty reliably unreliable and making bad decisions out of heart

Too much heart etc

*Cas closes all the blinds and moves Kelly around.* He's sort of acting like a prison guard too.

Kelly describing how she killed herself - also great dialogue and acting... Wow I'm really starting to like her. They're having to work with her being a bit of a religious ditz in some respects - interpreting it as a miracle and using that word - but they're making up for so much lost time with her characterisation and filling in the person behind all the being dragged around. Kelly has HOPE and LOVE for her baby and felt its power as goodness... Then she speaks just a little too long and stops sounding sure and starts sounding like she just wishes it was a miracle/is the sort of person prone to believing in them, and a plan, a higher power, which has been utterly debunked since season 5 and we have to know that as an audience that she's talking too far into her simplistic ideas unaffected by the gritty reality of Heaven and Hell in this world. I mean sure she's got such a simple view on it all but she's got a stance and she's been through a change and she's sticking with it.

Cas listening to all this - the way his face moves when she talks about giving up and killing herself. Oh no. He understands :< And it's her talking about a higher power that gets him to sit down and talk to her.

Cas talking about his season 4 self and then saying they're all "winging it" oh no oh no.

Oh noooo

And now he has to describe that Lucifer has no plan and that unlike Sam, born to a great destiny after a huge amount of manipulation to meet what seemed to be the originally described destiny of the universe since it was created, as per God, Kelly has this devil baby for no reason except Lucifer passing on the existential angst he's suffering since existing outside of The Plan

Really, Raphael was extremely ahead of the curve in having a massive existential crisis about wtf you do when you run out of story. Cas seemed to think it was an optimistic thing at the start of season 6 according to 6x20, and the rope you hang yourself with when you have free will by the end of it. But this season, after God left and wrote his final manuscript and all the stuff with Metatron and writing was cleared away - there's REALLY no story left and season 12, literally another half of the show later, is getting back to this freak out.

"I'm sorry. You were just there."

That did sound really heavy-handed that Cas might end up having to protect the nephilim if it's born and Kelly dies, and that she was seeing Cas as a potential guardian...

Of course then Cas puts his hand on her stomach when she makes him, smiles a bit despite himself, because, idk, the miracle of life... But then either Lucifer or the baby uses that contact to see stuff - the conflict at the portal I guess. With yellow eyes roar-y sound effects.. I guess Lucifer or Dagon will learn this, and the nephilim is working against Cas and Kelly...

*brief interlude where we have a guest for dinner so I disappear for ages*

ANYWAY I need to get back to this I was interrupted right as Cas and Kelly were having an EPIC conversation about choice it's killing me :P

mittensmorgul good luck. I've got it paused about 2/3 of the way through

elizabethrobertajones Cas just had his hand put on the tummy - forcefully - and he smiled but actually something bad appears to have happened because her eyes lit up and did the demon roary sound effecct

mittensmorgul RIGHT?!

elizabethrobertajones I think the nephilim is spying on them for Lucifer >.> idk if that proves it's evil or if he just has a magic connection?? and it's being exploited and the poor baby is a tool as well WHO KNOWS theeeemes

Anyway I guess they both sensed that - I don't think Kelly is evil but Cas seems to have maaaaybe seen what it saw? Got a premonition for free?? Who knows. Coming right after the talk about Cas being a potential guardian I think the vision showed him protecting her, so it may be pretty significant that he's going to be their guardian... The vision MAY be benign in some senses for THEIR conversation even if it seems kind of dangerous that that might be how Dagon finds them at the portal by having a vision OF her attacking them at the portal or something

Thinking of happening to find people, Dean is at the door. Knock knock, that's my gun.

Woah finally a circumstance to flip that time Cas slammed Dean against a wall

They're framed in the circle this time - interesting we had Sam alone in one circle and Dean and Cas in a charged situation in the other circle

Sam and Dean have both chosen to wear their best jackets for this

Uh, anyway. Argh, Cas getting pushed against the wall and just kind of going and watching Dean, and Dean's so angry, and Cas is just... letting him shove him around. I think letting is the operative word. These days angels aren't quite so iron rigid that like 4x22 you punch them and it makes a clang if they don't want to get punched. But yeah. Cas is still an angel, and he didn't HAVE to get shoved harmlessly against the wall. He could push back, but he KNOWS he did something that would piss Dean off, and he's just gonna ride it out and take the blame and take the punishment... The mission isn't finished yet so he would probably do anything to make sure it was, but only with the "for Dean" tick box checked, that it wouldn't hurt Dean in the process >.>

elizabethrobertajones HOLYC RAP SAm was suspicious THE ENTIRE TIME?? He put the tracking thing on Cas's phone while Dean was being "scammed" out of the Colt because dean let his guard down and fell for Cas's little moment with the tape and he was over-emotional about keeping the Colt close

mittensmorgul yep

elizabethrobertajones and Sam saw something fishy about the way Cas wouldn't look them in the eye and managed to 10 steps ahead Cas while Dean was giving him heart eyes and calling him a "dumbass"

mittensmorgul yep, but Cas was looking Dean in the eye. A lot.

elizabethrobertajones sweet sweet eye love making Ugh :P Dean only looked away at the end when he said he was going to get a beer and I think he was gonna kiss Cas if he didn't distract himself

mittensmorgul yeah

elizabethrobertajones I wonder if Cas's plan B was fall into bed with Dean, grab the colt when he was distracted last night on earth their relationship like yeah he'll never trust me again but

mittensmorgul oh no wait for Dean to nod off and then grab the gun and run

elizabethrobertajones sorry that's kind of morbid :P but yeah

mittensmorgul D:

elizabethrobertajones >.> Okay I hate that but I sort of think it was somewhere on Cas's plans >.> he's heaven's greatest strategist after all went in there with a goal to distract Dean and get the Colt at whatever cost (friendship wise) to protect Dean in the long term

mittensmorgul yeah, I don't think he counted it out as a possibility

elizabethrobertajones I wrote a long thing about how he still sees himself as their guardian and not quite sure about being their friend, after you reminded me of 6x20

mittensmorgul Yeah, because he could live with Dean not trusting him, as long as DEAN WAS ALIVE to not trust him...

elizabethrobertajones or at least he's not sure he can trust he'd be their BFF

mittensmorgul yeah

elizabethrobertajones but he CAN do huge gestures from afar that protect them even if it's at the cost of their relationship the abstract concept of alive winchesters matters to Cas in an angel-y way

"She's difficult to kill, okay?!" "you think?" yeah they're all struggling with this at the moment :P All having the same encounters but apart and coming to the same BLOODY OBVIOUS conclusions

gosh maybe WORKING TOGETHER is the answer

Oh gosh Cas isn't the babysitter

...

*obligatory fandom reference despite the fact Cas has never brought pizza to the bunker which tbh now I think about it is really rude of him and probably on Dean's list of reasons he's currently pissed at Cas*

Anyway Cas tries to do the same speech he's done in 12x09 about how he wants to protect them and keep them safe and so he does dumbass things to do so

Dean's like WHEN ARE WE EVER SAFE. LAST WEEK A BLOOD-DRINKING GOD HAD ME KNOCKED OUT AND SARAN-WRAPPED IN A MEAT LOCKER AND THAT WAS A NORMAL THURSDAY NIGHT

The answer is for Cas to come on all the MotW to hold his hand

[edit from future!me: you’re always right when you’re sarcastic trope x what you expect but not how you expected it]

At least he's being honest about his motivations.

... Dean has no way of knowing it's a sandbox unless Cas told them, so there's that for off-screen communication.

Kelly has a "sandbox!" moment of realisation of what she saw... Was it Cas protecting her from Dagon or the angels she wonders?

"We've found another way!" "which you'd know if you answered the phone" I love when episodes answer my own meta neatly within the time limit :P No loose end on that one.

Cas having the similar ?!?!? moment of realising how silly they were to forget about this.

I mean he has grumpy quibbles about it and holy crap in my 9x11 rewatch I got so distracted by how the needle was not just extracting gadreel's grace but the left over god crap in Sam (as I realised the trials and mark of cain were essentially EXACTLY the same thing from 2 different ends of the spectrum - big helping of Chuck mojo to wield his power, being helping of Amara mojo to wield her power. Sam flashed back to doing the trials - to significantly EARLY in doing the trials, right back to 8x17.) and I wondered if that was screwing with the results, and also why the spell failed.

It's not like a woah angel fall spell revelation but it was something I was wondering about and honestly after sitting around wondering about the mechanics of it for an afternoon just for kicks a while back, the fact this is all back in the spotlight is really making me laugh

Anyway, Kelly's not up for it >.>

Come back Kelly

She thinks both of them dying together (which she was aiming for at the start but for bad reasons but also self-sacrificing reasons which are still motivating her here, that she'd go with Cas to protect everyone) is better than living but with her baby just being a regular old human baby. Dean values humanity above anything - "at least he dies human!" he said about Sam in 4x21 when Bobby suggested detoxing would kill him. If there's a chance for them to LIVE human then that's the happy dream ending, the case solved, random humans can go back to their lives like nothing happened DREAM for Dean so he thinks Kelly has lost her mind. She's working on very different principles here and agreeing with Cas about what to do but not why - Cas just wants to protect humanity (and by humanity - yeah you know the drill)

If Cas steals the impala too I'm going to scream.

"it's like herding cats"

I love when Dean and Cas have long staring competitions though.

Cas seems to agree to talk and drags Kelly off in much the same way as Dagon dragged her off. Even though they agree and he is seeming to be protective of her, and LIKES Kelly and sees her as a person now (despite his original intention to just shut his eyes and kill her)... but yeah, still just the other side of the coin of Heaven and Hell pulling her around and controlling her.

*camera takes its eye off Cas*

*whoops back on it to watch Misha fumbling catching the keys* I wonder how many takes before Amanda gives up and is like fine we'll use that one - at least you CAUGHT them

huh, he gets in the back. That is NOT what I was expecting.

What the heck Cas you don't just throw the keys to Kelly

Now she's gonna steal the car

okay so like I said, things are predictable but not how you expect... Dabb era in a nutshell and also cars are involved

I wonder if Cas didn't immediately stop Kelly stealing the car because he knows they're both indestructible but the car isn't and Dean is in the mood where he will actually stab Cas if the car gets busted up.

There's something a lot like Hael here, which is how Cas's story all started with the character reboot of human Cas (he never recovered from it emotionally; Cas between 8x23 and 9x01 are more different than 9x01 and now Cas in some ways)

But yeah, the "where are you going?" "heaven and I'll make you tell me how to go there" thing - it's the same assured way Hael uses to talk about how they'll go see the grand canyon and then she'll possess him.

And he hopes he can talk her out of it. He agreed to talk to Dean about options but Kelly has decided what is best for her and her kid - to go to Heaven, where she's clearly imagining a Mary's Heaven she left behind scenario of chillaxing with her baby even though Heaven doesn't work like that. Now he can't talk to Dean about options but he's stuck in the car with Kelly... all he can do is talk if he doesn't want to crash the car

oh no Lucifer must have been talking to her pretending to be the baby. Weird contradictory if I go with your plan (to go to Heaven and be obliterated) then you'd make sure my son is born? And she thinks it was talking to her. Now it's full on creepy if it was ACTUALLY the baby, but... I suspect foul play

Oh why does Cas never get anything good. We have the exact same Hael situation except at least Hael wasn't being controlled/manipulated (can we retcon all of Kelly’s silly actions were because of this?) and just had no idea how to want things in a human non-creepy way and seemed to think what she wanted was good in a rational angel way. But Kelly has a ton of confidence all of a sudden, like... a divine purpose, but obviously not :P And suddenly all that stuff about protecting her child? That seemed really sweet and nice when she and Cas were talking person to person before the creepy stuff started? Now she wants to FORCE it on him and give him no choice. She's in the driver's seat in a stolen car, making the demands, and now she's taken choice out of the equation >.>

Anyway Kelly really wants a guardian angel but Cas already has his hands full with the bloody Winchesters

hijacking their angel too

Cas continues to have his existential crisis and instead of pointing out some legit complaints about being abducted and forced into it, he lists even more of his failures that he's accrued since the LAST time he was listing all of his failures

this is like... the worst day ever for Cas, and he once got stabbed with a thing meant to kill angels by turning them into black foam from the inside out :P

He betrayed his friends - his FAMILY

Holy shiiiit Kelly is talking about her PAST and who she was before she was the container for Lucifer's baby what is thiiiis?

*low bar leapt over with style*

"I wish I had your faith" "You will" Oh gosh those are creepy lines from her. And tragic ones from Cas. Because he really has no faith any more in anything because he knows that the higher powers are on holiday and the original plan ended 6 years ago and everything since has been a series of over-reacting disasters usually his fault.

I am so pleased that the Kelly actress (who I don't even know the NAME of because she's been so insignificant that no one talks about her and presumably so hated she's keeping a low profile) has actually had stuff to do... I hope people weren't predisposed to hate her because she'd done nothing so far and were willing to give her a chance with better writers, because as a salvage job on her character this isn't half bad. She's still doing really irrational stuff but she's by now clearly being manipulated, and her actual moments of character stuff outside of that are actually exploring who she is, what she wants, and how this has changed her, working within the pretty crappy bounds of this story but at least giving the actress stuff to work with and the character some depth.

Anyway Dean hates Cas's truck :<

I mean it's symptomatic of this current break up where Cas tried to give the mixtape back and all but

(I split up with my angel boyfriend and all I got in the divorce was this shitty truck)

elizabethrobertajones OH NO Dean's sympathetic to Cas's pliiiiiiight even while he's piiiisssed "he's so desperate for a win he can't even see straight"

mittensmorgul I KNOW

elizabethrobertajones and that's while being totally furious at him

mittensmorgul SCREAMING FOREVER

elizabethrobertajones and Sam has no idea and Dean's keeping a tally of all the miserable stuff Cas has been through

Uhoh, the Heaven portal.

Why do I have a feeling this is going to go terribly.

Cas can get a win on HIS terms if he thinks/knows Kelly will be obliterated by doing this (and he asks if she's sure). She thinks she's about to - I have no idea, but survive this and have her baby so SHE'S sure about what SHE thinks this is about.

and will totally not give Cas his win

but he's kind of been manhandled into doing this

does it even count even if it WORKED

which it won’t

"As long as you're here I know it's going to be okay"

*Cas like ....*

Ew why is Joshua this random white bloke

Okay so he did die instantly, which would have been shitty if it had been the other guy or ANY black dude as a hasty re-casting (especially as we have no idea how Kelvin is at this point but I'm guessing NOT GOOD) buuut even so :P

I mean it was intentionally meant to be a record scratch end that idea moment that Heaven was really going to be up for much or have any useful sway on this, or that Josha was meant to be anything... But ugh :P Well, on the whole I guess bland white guy getting insta-killed is better than a black dude being pointlessly added to their tally, but Joshua was the last named angel in Heaven, really cool when we actually met him (this doesn't feel like it counts) and definitely always the cool angel we met that day because it's so important in that instance. Like yeah this whole onging existential crisis thing - he was the warning sign of that in 5x16 where Cas lost faith that day because of what he said that confirmed the universe was this badly run, and where we are is now deep in the results of the universe having a god that doesn't care and being a mere 6 years post apocalypse and being run by no one, not even the archangels who'd kept order in the meantime, or the way Joshua had talked to God. And it removes God's last link here except in the main characters and their new stewardship of the earth, their legacy handed to them by God in 11x23...

Mneh, I liked Joshua from 5x16 though and even it fits with this theme of the season and was MEANT to be disappointing, it is hard to separate what the show does wrong from what it does intentionally to unsettle and upset you :P

Anyway Dagon doing stuff

Does Cas still have the Colt on him - was there even time in all the hassle for Dean to get it back?

Aw Kelvin's dead.

Pfft yeah Dean took the Colt and so Cas is going into this with basically nothing

Dagon is revealing how it was aaaall a manipulation, apparently including letting Kelly think Cas was supposed to protect her, even to bring her there.

"sad fluttering aimless little moth"

Oh she's distracted picking Cas up to shake him around some more. Maybe Kelly will continue stealing things and take Cas's angel blade and stab Dagon :P

This episode has done enough to not make it wasteful or annoying to kill her off, since she's actually been genuinely threatening and terrifying and right now if Kelly kills her it's a real victory

Nope, the shitty truck shows up just in time because Winchesters always have your back and somehow know where your heaven portal is parked

wAIT

10x17 Sam was here before

I'm really starting to lose track of season 10 and need to get on with that rewatch holy crap that was embarrassing.

I mean in an episode ABOUT the sandbox and I even thought about Bobbby earlier when Cas was talking about humans not being able to go through it so he did to talk to Bobby, I mean really come on Lizzy

Anyway Sam shoots Dagon pointlessly but enough times to make her drop Cas RIGHT as she was about to dust him, and Dagon was talking ironically about showing up in the nick of time

Noooooooooooooooo RIP Colt

I did not see Yellow Eyed Demon kills Colt instead of the other way around

It did not die in slow motion which is even more disappointing

Aaaaah Kelly powering up Cas

I sort of feel like she's made him her puppet - that the nephilim has "chosen" Cas because he's a good conduit for the power. This is very very not good and again because control is being taken away from Cas and it seems so creepy, it's not a good thing that he's the guardian. If Kelly's vision was from the nephilim, Cas is now in a very dangerous situation that her baby likes him and wants to use him while it can't use its powers for itself.

I think it's awesome a YED died by burning up, not going to lie :P

Not sure Cas knows what happened

OH NO Cas is talking like he knows his purpose in the world in that kind of calm everything's great way

Our Cas is a mess who has no idea wtf he's doing so yeah...

(He did however heal Dean by putting his hand over his arm and catching his thumb under his hand so that's like 10% of hand holding >.>)

Anyway Dean gets to worry about him.

"I know now this child has to be born with ALL of his power" ... Yeah that's exactly what Kelly wanted

Oh boy

"I have faith"

Who are you and what have you done to Cas

Which can be an actual literal question on this show :P

I guess if we're going with the season 6 parallels this is a kind of creepy godstiel thing going on here but he's just a conduit to the power and is slightly off to the side as the guardian angel, though I suspect it's a similar problem >.>

LOL we're not going to let you walk away

*boop*

he does Sam first, of course

"??? Don't - "

*boop*

CHRIST you didn't have to drag the moose skull hanging from Cas's dash OVER SAM that's SO FUCKING RUDE

My dad phoned right at this point so that was bad timing :P

ANYWAY that makes me SO WORRIED about Sam. He keeps being isolated and put in little circles and triangles and I've been dreading the moose skull omen since 12x01 and now it's on top of Sam finally. AAAH.

Tbh there's equally scary Dean might die symbolism but the Sam stuff is wigging me out this year :P

ANYWAY Cas has lost his agency AGAIN to a Lucifer influence AGAIN

Can't believe Amanda Tapping made Cas leave Dean lying on the floor like... there's rude and then there's RUDE.

(I mean Sam was there too but look there was not 1 dead Sam in that warehouse)

I CAN’T BELIEVE AMANDA TAPPING TOOK CAS’S AGENCY AGAIN

Also Sam and Dean lying there pointed away from each other - going different ways.

I jokingly wrote to Mittens that Cas is driving off into the future and then remembered that's how Glynn's last episode ended and I suddenly think that script ending was shown to us just to tease us because of the Claire and Cas parallel, only Claire's hopefully going somewhere positive, and Cas... is possibly now an agent of the destruction of the world so that's all great.

Also Lucifer ended up not being involved again at all and it got so sketchy with Cas I'm now starting to think that the baby probably IS as dangerous as they say it is, Cas was paralleled to Dagon and Dagon at the start had her vision of HER place in the world at the baby's side and that's what it wants from Cas

and also now I'm thinking about the need to destroy fathers on the show and well a little newborn infant fighting Lucifer would be a bit of a joke but it WOULD be cool if nephilim!Cas went and blew up Lucifer as a threat to its power

I'm gonna think about that for a while :P

Also need to go write in Dean making Cas a mixtape to Terrible Coffee AU

#12x19 #season 12 spoilers #suicide cw #can't believe the main plot of season 12 has turned into guardian angel theft #my stuff

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that-shamrock-vibe · 8 years ago

Text

Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

So this will be my non-spoiler review giving a general reaction to my experience of the film both from what I saw and somewhat behind the scenes. While no spoilers will be given here, if you have yet to see the movie because I will be posting this the day it opens in the U.K. then don’t read on.

General Reaction:

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 made me cry! That is genuinely the best accolade I can give this movie because, while I had a good time with the first one, every time I re-watch it I still walk away saying the best thing about it was a talking raccoon and a brain-dead tree. Whereas is this movie, okay it still has some of the cheese and cringe that the first movie had, but unlike the first movie it isn’t peppered throughout the movie it’s just mainly in the first half. There is a point in this movie where it goes from being cheesy to epic and everything is elevated. I will not say what it is here but if you have seen the movie 1) You know what point I’m talking about and 2) You can probably guess what point I cried at.

I think what sets the Guardians movies apart from the other MCU movies is the fact that it does play to the strength of not taking itself as seriously as say Civil War or even Ant-Man. It plays very much like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies but with a hell of a lot more mature material, again there are times when they disregard that in favour of being like a Saturday Morning cartoon but at the same time this movie especially knew when to take itself seriously as a cog of the machine that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Why I prefer this movie to the first Guardians of the Galaxy is because, as I said before, it elevates what it did in the first movie in terms of both characters and acting...which doesn’t sound like two separate things but there is a difference between an actor’s take on a character and a writer’s/director’s take on a character and much like the first movie they work harmoniously but with subtle, quite and mature moments. I can say without question that I was shocked by the end of the movie as the character who I thought was going to be my least favourite actually had some of the best development.

If I had one major issue with this movie, it would be that it has quite literally nothing to do with the rest of the MCU. Earth features in this movie (not a spoiler) yet no Avenger appears even as a cameo. There is one mention of an Infinity Stone and it’s a throwback to the last movie, at least the last movie had an explanation of the infinity stones which affects the larger MCU. Here all the Easter-Eggs and throwbacks to any other movie was solely aimed at the Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy. I do feel that’s a mistake especially considering the Guardians need to be introduced to the Avengers in Infinity War so I would have liked to have maybe seen the movie either end or have an after-credit scene with a distress call to Earth. Although I did like how this movie was set in 2014 because before seeing this movie I read a post saying that Infinity War takes place four years after this which makes sense as 2018 is when that movie debuts. So while it will be hell for me to figure out where things from this movie fit into the timeline on my PowerPoint, it was a nice touch.

Cast Standouts:

I have a list in my head of where each character ranks in terms of favourite to least favourite which I may construct my spoiler review around when I go into character analysis rather than follow the structure I did last time of how the cast appear on IMDb. Without going into spoilers, again like the last movie it’s a very well cast both with returning and new cast; Kurt Russell and Pom Klementieff were great additions and my top 3 favourite actors in this movie in no particular order are Karen Gillan, Michael Rooker and Kurt Russell...secondary characters yes but they’re the ones that put the heart in this movie for me.

My Cinema Experience:

I introduced this segment in the first movie so it makes sense I add it here but I am actually going to do a reverse on my opinion last time because as much as I liked this movie, it almost wasn’t worth it because I was getting so pissed off in the first 30 minutes of arriving at the cinema.

I went to Cineworld again, it’s cheap, easy to get to and as I said last time usually provides value for money. This time however I arrived with a friend and we got there for basically bang on the start time when a slough adverts would usually play. 10 minutes later and the screen was still blank, not even the slide that says “Are you sitting in the right seat?” came up... 30 minutes later and I am starting to get frustrated because not only had my friend and I been asked to clarify we were in the right screen by people behind us who wanted to know if it was for Guardians of the Galaxy but also I had a sinking feeling that when the screen did come on it would start with adverts, and I had just sat through 30 minutes of nothing, I am not about to waste another 20-25 minutes still not seeing the movie.

It is a rant, but not a boycott that I say Cineworld wasn’t the best experience for me this time, there was no apology by staff but fortunately the movie started automatically so really there was no need to by that point.

Recommendation:

I have been told this movie is fantastic in 3D, I will agree there are parts, including the title sequence, that look like they’d work really well in 3D to the point that when I see it again I may see it in 3D. But as a 2D movie it’s also enjoyable. If you liked the first movie, you’ll love this movie. If you weren’t a fan then this movie may convert you.

So that’s my non-spoiler review for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Marvel Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

#guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #kurt russell #pom klementieff #karen gillan #michael rooker #infinity war

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dovechim · 8 years ago

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victoria’s secret

WARNING: 2927 WORTH OF CRACK and also how many times Jeon Jeongguk can fuck up while saying “Victoria’s Secret”

Contains foul language and mentions of sex

this is part 2 of my birthday celebration!!! this one is specially dedicated to my favourite jjk thigh enthusiast, @97gguks, ily bby ❤️ i was inspired by all the trash we talk about, it’s our quality conversations that keep me going tbh :’)

Summary: In which you teach Jeon Jeongguk a little lesson. Jeongguk is looking for a summer job, and you’ve offered to help him look for one, but when his cockiness and smug confidence pisses you off, you decide to take revenge. And revenge is as sweet as the body mist from Victoria’s Secret.

“9-5 office hours, admin work. $10 an hour. Includes filing and organizing paperwork.”

“Overqualified,” Jeongguk indulges in a lazy stretch with his arms above his head, causing his white t-shirt to teasingly stray just shy of his happy trail. Taking a deep breath in an effort to regain patience and self-control, you skim down the list of classified ads once more.

“Stock manager for a grocery store, $8 an hour-“ Jeongguk sits up immediately, eyes blazing in indignance.

“Such a handsome face like this, stuck in the backroom all day? _________, you’ve got to be kidding me. Someone with my looks was born to be in the frontline, babe.” The way he preens as he checks his reflection in his phone screen and runs a careless hand through his hair only to have every strand of it fall back into place perfectly should irk you, but the casual way in which he drops that endearment has you a little flustered.

Hoping to hide your flushed cheeks, you flip the paper over with a huff instead, fully intending on giving up on helping Jeon Jeongguk in his search for a summer job. He’s obviously way too self absorbed for this, although he tells you that he really does need that extra money for that upcoming Big Bang concert next month. He’d evaporate before he’d miss a chance to see G Dragon live and rapping before his very eyes.

“What did you have in mind when you said a summer job? Sitting on your lazy ass and getting paid to do nothing?” You can’t keep the exasperation out of your voice.

“Sitting on this very perky ass and getting paid,” Jeongguk amends with a cocky smirk. You roll your eyes at him and continue flipping through the section of the paper, if not to take your mind off a very perky ass sitting only a few spaces away from you.

Just then, your eyes chance upon a listing, and you smirk in retaliation. “Hey, what about this one? Sales and retailing assistant, $9 an hour and you get staff benefits!”

Jeongguk continues to scroll through his phone. “Where is this at?”

“Oh, at a fragrance store in town,” you say vaguely, making sure to emphasise on the word ‘fragrance’. As you predicted, his love for perfumes and anything that smells nice has him hooked, and his interest is piqued. He lowers his phone and reaches out for the newspaper.

“That’s passable I guess. Hand me the paper so I can call.”

“Oh no it’s okay, I’ll do it for you,” you say sweetly as you reach for your own phone and dial the number listed, dodging his grasp as you walk out of the room.

“Hi, I’m calling to ask about that sales position you advertised…”

Jeon Jeongguk is not a baby, but he sure does act like one sometimes.

It’s his first day at his new job, and your phone won’t stop ringing, the vibration from its silent mode chafing your skin. When you wrench it out of the pocket of your jeans and throw it onto the table, it almost leaps off the surface with its nonstop vibration until you relent and answer.

“__________ what the fuck is this place? This is NOT a fragrance store at all.”

“Um, hello to you too. What do you mean? Does it not smell good?”

“No- I mean hell yes it smells fucking good in here but it’s all pink everywhere and… there are… naked women walking around everywhere.” He whispers the last part in a choked voice, and you can almost imagine how the tips of his ears are turning red and how his eyes are probably bulging out of his head right now.

“Jeongguk, I’m sure they’re not naked, that would be public indecency, and it’s a crime. Aren’t you supposed to be at work right now? How do you have time to call me?”

“I’m hiding out in a corner between the body lotion and hand cream,” he whispers furtively.

“Wait, did you not get assigned to a job or something? Like organising fragrances by name, tending the till, helping customers?”

“I did!” He all but whisper-shouts vehemently into the phone. “Sajang-nim assigned me to fold the… b… br… pa.. pant…”

“What did Sajang-nim assign you to, Kook-ah?” You ask sweetly, an evil smile spreading across your face.

“To the… brasandpanties!”

“Wait what?” You gasp dramatically into the phone. “But I thought it was a fragrance store! Not an underwear store. Did you go to the wrong store, Kook? What’s the name of it?”

“Fuck if I know if this is the right store, you didn’t tell me the name of it from the advert you answered!!”

By now your stomach is aching from holding in your laughter at the mental image of Jeongguk hiding out in the only corner of the store that’s free of any traces of lingerie or half naked women.

“Jeongguk, tell me the name of the store.”

“It’s… wait,” sounds of his panicked, heavy breaths follow, and it sounds like he’s running out of the store. “What the fuck is this? Who the hell is Victoria and what is her secret?”

At some point he must have hung up, because when you regain the mental capacity and strength to get up from the floor from your giggling fit and pick up your phone, all that greets you is an empty dial tone.

Dealing with Jeon Jeongguk is like playing a game of chess. You always have to think a few steps ahead of your opponent and know how to hit them where it hurts the most. Thankfully, after being Jeongguk’s best friend and roommate for five years, you know exactly where all his weak spots are.

So when the evening of his first job rolls around and he storms into the house, fuming and fully intending on unleashing his pent up embarrassment on you, he stops short when he sees you’ve invited his high school friends over.

“Where’s ________? Why are you guys here?”

“ ______ called us and said she’d be making dinner to celebrate your first day at work,” Taehyung says with his eyes still glued to the screen. “Dammit Jimin I told you not to shoot that banana peel at me!”

“All’s fair in Mario Kart,” Jimin giggles as he shoots past the finish line, throwing up his hands in victory. “Oh, __________ is in the kitchen.”

Just as you begin to hear his footsteps directed toward the kitchen, you grab the pot of stew off the stove and head for the dining table, brushing casually past him and setting it on the table, announcing that dinner is ready.

“Kook ah, how was your first day at work?” You ask innocently, watching as Taehyung and Jimin take their seats opposite you. Jeongguk has a pained expression on his face as he slides into the seat next to you.

“Um, it was okay,” he says quietly, taking a nervous sip from his water glass.

“Come on man, we need more details!! Did you get us anything?? You have staff benefits don’t you?”

“W-what? What are you talking about?” Jeongguk reddens immediately, and he chugs the entire glass of water in a single breath.

“C’mon, don’t you have a dirty magazine or something at least? Pictures?” Taehyung waggles his eyebrows, a lewd grin spreading across his face. “Dressing room pictures?”

Jeongguk stands up so quickly that his chair falls over behind him. The three of you at the table look at him in surprise, and he fumbles around for something to say.

“Jeongguk, are you alright?” You place a hand on his wrist in concern.

“I need to drink my milk.” With that, he storms off into his room and slams the door.

“Thanks again, boys.” You peel off a couple of bills from a wad of cash in your wallet, handing them to Jimin and Taehyung.

“Anytime, ___________.” Taehyung snatches his share from your hands eagerly. “Now I can get that new honey butter chip that just came out! And I won’t share any with you!” He sticks out his tongue at Jimin.

Jimin hesitates a little as you push the money into his hands. “___________, is Jeongguk gonna be okay? You know how squeamish he gets with these things.”

“Oh he’ll be fine.” You wave away his concern. “Now get going. Don’t you all have homework to do?”

“__________, we graduated already!”

“Oh really? Sorry. Sometimes I forget,” you push them out of your house and slam the door.

As you head to your room, you dig out a pink box from the depths of your closet, a gift from your ex that you’d never had the chance to wear and tuck it under your arm. Making a quick detour to the fridge, you retrieve his favourite brand of milk that you bought specially for today before heading to his room, knocking on his door gently.

“Jeongguk, open the door.” When there’s no response, you decide that you have to up the stakes.

“I have milk.” The door opens slowly, and you peek your head inside the dark room. He’s sitting on his bed on his phone as usual, and you approach him, placing the carton of milk on his desk.

“Kook, I’m sorry about your friends. But I need your help with something.” Upon hearing your serious tone, he turns to look at you as you situate yourself on the bed next to him.

“I have a date tomorrow, and I though I’d get your opinion as a man.” You set the box on the bed between you and open the lid. “Do you think this is okay?”

There’s a black lace bra nestled in mounds of tissue paper, and his eyes immediately widen upon seeing it. He looks at the bra, then at your chest for a millisecond before tearing his eyes away, and even in the dim light of the room, you can see his blush from miles away.

“What do you think? Do you think it’ll look good on me?” You prompt him.

“Um yeah, I like it. I like you- I mean, I like your secret. From Victoria. I like the secret that Victoria gave you.” His response comes out in a rush of almost unintelligible words. Jeongguk is careful to put distance between himself and your pink box, as if it’ll burn him if he comes into contact with it. To cover up his fumbling, he reaches for the milk and tears it open, taking a nervous gulp.

“Really?” You pretend not to notice his slip. “Thanks, Kookie!!”

You reach over the box to give him an innocent kiss on the cheek, which causes him to nearly choke on his milk before bounding out of the room.

It’s his second day of work, but your phone has been silent all day. He didn’t even hug you goodbye this morning before leaving for work, and a part of you worries that you’ve taken it too far. But then again, this is the man-child who takes extreme pleasure in cockblocking you every time you bring a man home to try and relieve some of that sexual tension induced by Jeongguk himself.

When you hear keys turning in the doorway, you jump up from your seat on the couch and race into your room, pulling out that pink box again. Tossing the bra onto your bed, you wait to hear his footsteps in the hallway before calling out his name.

“Kook, can you help me out with this for a second?” For a moment it feels as if he’ll ignore you on purpose, but you hear him give a sigh and head for your room.

“Which scent should I wear tonight for my date?” You ask when he pokes his head around the doorframe. “Come here and smell this.”

Tugging him into your room, you spray about five different scents on his wrist and arm, peppering him with questions about which he likes the best. Jeongguk’s eyes constantly stray to the bra on the bed, and his fidgeting increases more and more as the minutes tick past.

You pretend to be deep in thought as you deliberate between Pure Seduction and Sweet Love, but you’re all too aware of his smoldering eyes on you.

“Who’s your date? Is it Jisoo? Didn’t you break up with him ages ago?”

You hum in thought as you sniff his wrist again. “I think we’re better off as fuck buddies, to be completely honest.”

“You’re meeting him to fuck him? You can’t!”

“Excuse me?” You raise an eyebrow at him, crossing your arms.

“Um, I mean… he sleeps around so much, you never know what kind of diseases he’s picked up by now. And if you wanted a good fuck, you probably don’t have to look so far for one.” His confidence knows no bounds.

You pretend to look him up and down, and wrinkle your nose. “Ew, no thanks. I’d rather fuck a man, not a baby like you. At least Jisoo oppa can say the words ‘bra and panties’ without stammering.”

Jeongguk immediately freezes upon hearing those words. “Th-that’s not true!! I can say those words! And I’m a man too, in case you haven’t realised.”

You give him a snort of laughter. “What kind of man still drinks milk?”

“It’s a good source of protein!” He argues back. “Look, I can prove that I am a man. Tomorrow, I’ll take you to my workplace and I’ll pick out a pair of br- underwear for you, ok? And I’ll even buy you a body mist too. There’s a new bestseller that smells better than any of this crap. Just don’t meet Jisoo tonight please,” he begs.

You place a finger on your chin and pretend to think it over seriously. “On one condition. Jimin and Taehyung have to tag along.”

“After this I’m so getting Overwatch on steam,” Taehyung says as he trails behind you and Jimin. “Get ready to get your ass kicked, Park Jimin.”

“You’re the one who should be afraid-“

“Kids! Can you please behave like grown men for an hour? After that you can revert back to your five year old selves for all I care,” you hiss at them as you crane your neck over the rows and rows of lingerie and body mists, looking for a golden brown head of hair.

You spot him over by the section of push up bras, looking stressed out and trying his best to refrain from staring at the poster of a woman modelling the Bombshell bra right next to the display. When he spots you, his expression brightens for the first time in a long while.

Taehyung is ogling openly at the model on the poster. “Dude, this is so much better than a sex toy store. Here you get to stare, for free!!!”

Jeongguk immediately elbows him hard in the ribs, bowing apologetically to a few other customers who are browsing nearby.

“Jeongguk, do you have any reccomendations? I feel like going for satin this time, or maybe I should just stick with lace? Ooh or how about this babydoll?”

He’s struggling to maintain his composure as he stutters. “Um I-I think anything would look good on you, ___________.”

“Ok, then I’ll get this babydoll and these too!” You shove the sheer pink lace babydoll into his arms followed by one or two lace panties. “Where’s that best seller that you told me about?”

Jeongguk is struggling with the handful of lingerie in his arms, but he miraculously manages not to drop anything. “Um, over there.”

Taehyung and Jimin bound towards the fragrance section, and you follow them with Jeongguk beside you.

“I’m so glad you let us visit you at your workplace, Kookie!” You exclaim as you browse the huge selection of body mists on display.

“Oh, it’s no big deal,” he gives you a little smirk. “And you should probably stop calling me that, since I’m a man now.”

“Our little Kookie has grown up!!!!” Jimin reaches to ruffle his hair fondly. “I still remember the days where you ran away at the sight of girls. Oh, remember that time where Yeri came to watch you at your basketball game and you got hit in the face with the ball??” Jimin is almost doubled over in laughter.

“OH and that time where he nearly pissed his pants when two girls surprised him at his locker for Valentine’s Day!” Taehyung joins in, and he almost knocks over a row of perfumes in his mirth.

Jeongguk snatches a bottle off the rack, struggling to contain his annoyance since he can’t punch them in his workplace.

“Oh, is this the one? Secret Noir Tease body mist,” you read off the label.

“It’s our best seller,” he gives a confident smile as he spritzes a few pumps of it into the air. The sweet scent coupled with a tinge of vanilla, red plum and freesia immediately hits your nose. “It’s perfect for dates, or for that mysterious man you’re so attracted to, and it has that hint of vanilla that makes it sweet, and also that tinge of red plum for that tangy scent. Perfect for a tease, kind of like you.”

Taehyung and Jimin are staring at Jeongguk, who doesn’t show a single trace of awkwardness at all now. “Wow, Kookie, when did you become this manly?”

He side-eyes them with a little smirk. “It’s my Victoria’s Secret.”

A/N: I APOLOGISE FOR THIS TRASH omg but i hope you liked it anyway, thank you all for all your support and love so far!!! please let me know what you think, as usual :>

#bangtanbookclub #kwritersnet #btswriters #bts #bts fanfics #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #bts jungkook smut #jungkook scenarios

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vskpop · 8 years ago

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February 2017 ⋅ What do you say to BTS? Not today

Draw Me - Wonder Girls

I really hope that starting my monthly post with the goodbye song from a disbanded group will not become a constant this year, but it’s already the second time in a row it happens. I guess at least they’re getting a chance to give fans closure (goodbye, 4minute).

On one hand, it’s surprising that the Wonder Girls lasted through so many member changes, random concepts and failed American debuts. On the other, I was also shocked to see them finally give up just as they had seemingly found their new path with the band concept.

Without wanting to delve too deep into the situation (I’ve already done that with 2NE1 and it was enough), it’s incredibly frustrating that they disbanded as they started to put their own stamp on their music and put out interesting things that actually reflected what they wanted to do.

Even if you’re not into rock-ish ballads, Draw Me is worth listening to just for the bridge, which hits me like a ton of bricks every single time.

Act. 2 Narcissus - Gugudan

Gugudan’s debut had one of the cutest cute concepts of 2016; I was still pleased with it, all considered. I wouldn’t have been too bothered if they had continued on that route, but A Girl Like Me is so good that it might end up as one of my favourite comebacks of the whole year (and yes, I know it’s February).

The song itself is great; none of the girls spend the entire time singing in the highest pitch they can produce, and all the main singers get decent parts.

What I was especially impressed with was the styling and concept for A Girl Like Me. While a lot of girl group concepts are ridiculously vague, after the mermaid concept Gugudan went for an original and well-developed “Narcissus” (aka vain) concept. I adore how they managed to find a different variation on the subject for each of the members.

I would hardly call this female empowerment but, in the realm of k-pop, seeing girls singing about how great they are is not that common. They were so into the concept that the physical album has a mirror in it, which pretty much seals the deal for me.

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Knock Knock - Twice

After the tragedy that was TT, Twice were a lost cause for me, and I’m not sure that the situation has changed much. Considering the disgusted expressions that Nayeon and Jungyeon have in 90% of the live performances of Knock Knock, I’m going to say that this comeback was a step in the right direction, but there’s still a long way to go.

Just like Red Velvet, Twice have been subject to ridiculous infantilisation, made worse by a simultaneous sexualisation. Knock Knock still has childish motifs like pajama parties and fairytale books, but it’s not all-out kindergarten like TT was.

While it’s still not nearly as good as Like Ooh Ahh, this new song is delightfully catchy and the “pretty rebels” concept (sic - and yes, throwing pillows at each other is the most rebellious thing they do) is much less disturbing that the “sexy Tinkerbell” one.

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Rookie - Red Velvet

I was obsessed with the kindergarten-like chant in Red Velvet’s Ice Cream Cake for months after it was released. The perfect balance of stylishness, weirdness and childishness of their “red” was their signature style, and what set them apart from the other girl groups that debuted around the same time.

The more they move forward, the more their comebacks lean heavily towards a kindergarten-y, bubblegum-y aesthetic. In Rookie, the five members of Red Velvet are thrown into a Narnia-cum-Alice-in-Wonderland scenario, they wear puffy baby blue pinafore dresses, and chant “lookie lookie, my super lookie lookie lookie” in the highest-pitched voice they can produce.

The atmosphere and tone don’t feel dissimilar to the colorful, childlike concepts NCT Dream have been doing. The difference and/or the problem lie in the fact that NCT Dream are aged 17 or under, but the only 17-year-old in Red Velvet is Yeri. Joy is 21; Wendy and Seulgi 23; Irene is about to turn 26.

It’s ironic to think that this is what they have to perform, when their labelmate SNSD’s Taeyeon hated Gee (another song that hinges on childishness, innocence and repetition) when she was 19.

Is this oversaturated iteration of the cute concept better than them acting like sexy toddlers à la Twice’s TT? Definitely. It’s still really disappointing to see such an original, distinctive project fade into something more conventional.

Adding insult to injury, the best songs on the album are Body Talk, which would have been perfect for a “velvet” comeback, and Talk To Me, which could have represented an ideal medium between the “red” and the “velvet”.

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Wings: You Never Walk Alone - BTS

BTS’ Wings as a whole was one of my top three albums of 2016; this is probably why I found the new songs in the You Never Walk Alone a little underwhelming. Despite the high concept, they don’t have the same bite as any of the original Wings tracks.

Strangely rock-ish Spring Day seems to have picked up some cues from Day6, but with a much busier, artificial production. The various parts of the songs feel clunkily assembled and, even though the end result is good enough, it’s still one of the least unique songs of their production.

The music video is - as usual - is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, and it’s gorgeously shot; the lyrics are beautiful, emotional and uplifting; I always appreciate when V gets some non-falsetto singing; however, in the end it still feels uninspired and “less-than” in comparison to any other 2015-2016 BTS song.

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Talking about “less-than”, I am furious that BTS’ team thought that putting out Not Today would be a good idea. While I have to acknowledge that in any other circumstance it would be an ok song, it just falls flat in comparison to previous BTS hype songs.

Everything, from the pacing of the song to the vocal gimmicks used by the members (think of Jimin saying “aaawww!” and the last line of Not Today’s pre-chorus), reminds me of a poorer version of Fire. I know that BTS are known for their bangers and they had to throw one in there, but this sounds like a rip-off made by a lesser group.

The MV for Not Today looks remarkably like a sportswear advert - especially the slow motion sequences around minute 3. It wouldn’t be terribly surprising, since they’re sponsored by Puma, but it doesn’t quite pay off as a music video.

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My favourite of the “add-on” songs is what should arguably be the title track, You Never Walk Alone, which conveys the same message as Spring Day with a much more interesting structure, incisive raps and a style that matches the original Wings songs much better.

I’ve said before and I will say again that, in my eyes, BTS are the most likely candidates to be the Big Bang of the third generation; I can’t rule out that in a few years I’ll have changed my opinion on You Never Walk Alone, but for now I’ll have to try to write it off as necessary growing pains.

I’m just glad to see that they managed to go another comeback without letting go of the true BTS trope, dirty concrete walls.

Don’t Recall - K.A.R.D.

Because DSP Media has hardly been the best company lately (or ever?), I have been trying not to get too attached to their new group, K.A.R.D, especially while terms like “predebut group” and “project group” keep being thrown around and they are not promoting on shows.

Their first single Oh Na Na arrived a bit too close to the end of the year for it to end up my 2016 list, but I have been listening to it pretty much non-stop. I am quite surprised that I’m not disappointed with their second single Don’t Recall, and I possibly like it even more.

While tropical house (drink!) has been done to death in k-pop, K.A.R.D manage to make it moody and nostalgic, and most of all not sounding same-y and forgettable, by moving towards a dancehall vibe and adding a hook that’s not as obvious but just as perfect as Oh Na Na’s.

K.A.R.D’s international success has been ridiculous (and I’ve been on that bandwagon from day 1), so I’m hoping that they will manage to survive 2017 despite their agency.

Also, they have to be the first group to release fan theories to their own video.