#still looking to join the illegal wizard council

[the-mighty-toast-wizard]

Fuck it, character sheet time, no this isn't standard

Name: TOAST WIZARD

Age: hahahahaha

Level: 8704

Classes: 1

Magic styles: 7

Homebrew magic styles: 1

Strength: 7

Constitution: 23

Dexterity: 10

Intelligence: 20

Wisdom: 3

Backstory: was just kinda obsessed with toast, so he gained an insane amount of power, and combined them into one, which created toast magic, which at its maximum power would likely deal as much damage as a low level fireball

[innytoes]

I read prompt 51 in Reggie’s voice, so please - with whoever else you think!

- @anotherfantom

Set in the Cat!Reggie and Sugar Salmon!Daddy verse.

Reggie was lounging on Caleb's bed, waiting for the guy to get out of the shower. He kind of regretted not joining him, but he'd still been in Cat Mode when Caleb got home, curled up in the middle of the bed in the perfect pool of sunlight, and he'd been too cozy to move.

It wasn't like he lived here, or anything. It just wasn't like he didn't live here, either. Caleb had installed a magical cat flap that only let him in, and he had his own drawers in Caleb's drawer, with fancy outfits Caleb had gotten him, and a toothbrush in the bathroom, and all his cat stuff around the house. But he was free to come and go as he pleased.

He just happened to like to be here at times he knew Caleb would get home. Especially if he was going to be naked. So sue him. His boyfriend was hot.

He perked up when he heard the water shut off, changing back to human so he could fully enjoy the view. He was still in the cozy patch of sunlight, except it only covered part of his back. The light on bare skin was different than on his fur, but also nice. He was just wearing some cute cotton shorts Caleb had gotten him as he lazed on his stomach, kicking his feet in delight when Caleb came out of the shower, still toweling off his hair.

"Hello, Kitten," he said, leaning over to kiss Reggie.

"Hi," Reggie said, a little breathless after the kiss, and the view. "How was your day?"

"Oh, simply awful," Caleb said, as he rooted around his drawers for some comfortable silk pants. Reggie enjoyed the view while it lasted, though Caleb in silk was also nice. "The Council is all up in a tiff because apparently the pixies that have roosted in my Club are 'illegal' and 'not supposed to be there'."

"You don't mind them?" Reggie asked, making grabby hands at Caleb until he sat back down on the bed. Okay, so he only did it to put on his socks, but he was still shirtless. Jackpot. Reggie draped himself over the man's back, enjoying his warm, clean skin against his own. Caleb happily leaned back.

"No, if you give them something to do they're actually quite helpful. Also they've been ah, deterring staff who keeps trying to use my props room as a make-out spot, which is ever so helpful."

"So how are you going to gaslight gatekeep girlboss your way out of this?" Reggie asked. From Caleb's rants - he did them less when Reggie was human, but he loved grumbling about it when Reggie was a cat, especially when they hadn't yet officially established Reggie could be human - the Hollywood Wizard Council were pretty much sticklers for the rules they themselves made up.

"How am I what?" Caleb asked, turning to him. He looked adorably confused, which was a new expression on him. Reggie kissed his nose, and he wrinkled it even more adorably. And handsomely.

"It's a thing," he shrugged. "An internet thing."

Caleb turned to kiss him properly. "It's a good thing you make me feel so young, darling, because you just made me feel very, very old."

"Oh, I'll make you feel young, alright," Reggie grinned.

The silk pants came off again, and they had a very, very nice evening. Later, when Reggie was curled up on Caleb's chest, feeling like he'd be purring if he was in Cat Mode, he looked up. "Okay but how are you going to get the Council off your back about the pixies?"

Caleb looked down. "Oh. I drew up a contract and had them sign it. They're now officially employees of the Hollywood Ghost Club, paid in room and board and one shiny button a month. They negotiated hard for that last one."

"You do have a lot of nice and shiny buttons," Reggie mused.

"Is that girlboss gamer gatelight of me?" Caleb asked, and Reggie laughed so hard he accidentally turned back into a cat.

[utilitycaster]

Wizard breakdown tracker

Welcome to a new and wholly unasked for feature, in which I procrastinate what I should be doing (currently: reading about MRIs, finishing up some Passover kitchen cleaning) in favor of providing a status update on our wizard NPCs, who are as a rule getting their lives flipped and turned upside down in part by the the Mighty Nein. I intend to keep up with this nonsense until such time as Trent Ikithon is dead or as good as.

Note: Caleb Widogast, as a PC and member of the Mighty Nein, is not included on this list. Vess DeRogna is assumed to be still dead unless otherwise indicated. Wizard NPCs who have not made an appearance nor been mentioned in some time will not be included but may be put on the list in future weeks if they turn up.

Ludinus Da’leth: haven’t heard from him in a while but Astrid mentioned him; last we heard he’d lost the Nein in Eiselcross. Probably hanging out and having a great time knowing that Vess DeRogna is missing, presumed dead and that Trent Ikithon is having a miserable time. I bet that smug bastard doesn’t realize his overture to Caleb just made him more complicit and a storm’s a-coming.

Conclusion: 0/10. Pretty sure this man won’t believe he can die until a sword is stuck through him and even then he’ll have some doubts.

Trent Ikithon: according to Astrid, he’s a little twitchy; Caleb’s shown that even when quite literally backed into a corner he’s uninterested in making bargains, and also can capably counterspell him. Plus his underlings let the Nein go and even if he doesn’t know this was intentional, seems like it would be a rough day.

Conclusion: 4/10. Not pulling out the big guns yet, probably, but starting to ramp things up.

Essek Thelyss: Oh, Essek. You poor, poor elf man. Yes, you laid the groundwork, but I have to say I think pacing via floating would be uniquely unsatisfactory in relieving stress. Jester’s messages have made it worse, you’ve been expecting to die every day for the last six weeks, and what exactly did Trent do to you?

Conclusion: 8/10. Please give him some whiskey-spiked tea and sympathy in the tower tonight.

Astrid Beck: Well she’s betrayed Trent like four times in the last week already and, initial reunion conversation with Caleb aside, the Mighty Nein have been fucking up her shit ever since that dinner, so.

Conclusion: 8/10 and rising. Help her Bob, she’s having a mental breakdown in the alley. (god I hope people know sea shanteys other than The Wellerman or this is going to be a joke only I enjoy).

E(a,o)dwulf “Then Perish” Grieve(?): Wulf is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, isn’t he. Here’s what we know: Big. Strong. Forearms. Cut his parents’ throats as a teenager. Sometimes does work at Vergesson. Keeps saying “you look good” to Caleb like he’s a romanceable video game character. Raven Queen, but not sure of whether he multiclassed or is just a religious wizard who lifts. Knows wristpocket and uses it to hide his flask. Joined Astrid in Nicodranas, so in on the plan, but she seems to be the one in charge.

Conclusion: 5/10. Fewer betrayals than Astrid, but he’s definitely at least guilty of aiding and abetting.

Pumat Sol: Missing the Spice Girls already. Some weird guy in a cloak keeps stopping by his shop. You know, the usual.

Conclusion: 2/10, probably a little nervous he’s going to get audited for illegal high level spells. On the other hand, the Assembly’s been leaving him alone - no Vess DeRogna threats for a while!

Allura Vyesoren: I mean, it’s not the first time that a rag-tag bunch of misfits has asked for her help regarding a world-ending power and so far it’s gone pretty good! Also this woman has watched Scanlan Shorthalt cast Wish and survived, she’s got a great marriage and a cool tower, she’s on the Tal’Dorei council; it’s going to take a lot to truly unsettle her.

Conclusion: 3/10. She doesn’t have her staff, and the city is indeed a concern, but she’s been through worse.

Yussa Errenis: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Conclusion: ∞ /10. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

[jeza-red]

As someone who absolutely detests this scene, the reason is that it's perfect example of foreshadowing at the expense of good writing. Lucas working against himself, as he usually does, and showing how much he cannot write human people, because subtlety is a word he didn't study in water writing school he went to.

Because, yeah, this was still a very powerful kid and the Jedi council decided to just-what, send him back home to the slave life? What other option was there to consider? What did they consider as an alternative? As much as we know of the future Vader, that was still a dick way of dealing with it, because at that point Anakin didn't deserve to be dragged across the galaxy only to be told that a space wizard deems him unworthy, because he's a child with emotions of a child.

Not future Vader - a child.

As much as we know of his future, at that point the Council is speaking to a 9 year old who escaped slavery and went through enough scary shit for a normal child to piss themselves - and the fact he is afraid of losing the only person in his life who ever cared about him is the one thing they focus on? That? Not the want for revenge on his slaver for his shitty life? Not the pride of being the best pod-racer/mechanic he knows? Not the fear of encountering scary people and not knowing where he is and what's his fate gonna be?

No, the fear of a child losing a mother, that's apparently the best that Lucas could come up with to justify the plot - because that was the only way to tie the whole "attachment" thing later on that destroys any credibility Jedi have as functional mentors and teachers, but at least gives Anakin reason to have a boring romance and to switch sides.

The one thing that is fully understandable at the time and place he's in as a child and, also, can be helped with via adults in his life giving enough of a fuck to mentor him through it. They are supposed to be good at it, aren't they? Am I going to believe he never grew out of it?

That one scene makes the Jedi much less sympathetic and much less reasonable, and much more suspect when it comes to "acquiring" their padawans.

After watching that scene I, personally, at the age of 15, had a lot of questions.

Where the hell, then, are they getting these perfect little kids that are not afraid and not attached to their parents? Why are they so bad at helping them deal with severing that bond? Are they even interested in kids that want to learn, but are not perfectly moldable? With kids that come from hard conditions? Split families? Troubled kids that need soft touch? How is that happening? Are orphans better, because they have no bonds to sever, or kot, because they are too afraid? Are they just discarded, because some spent years fearing for their lives? Why couldn't they - a famous order that plays by their own rules most of the time - simply not take his mother from the shithole of a planet she was at? That was illegal-not the other shit they keep pulling all the time? That? Stealing one woman away was impossible-just because her owner couldn't be magiced to forget? How, if Yoda noticed that fear in Anakin so early, was it left to fester for all these years untended? If it was so acute and unfixable, why did they allow him to join in the end?

These questions are still there, because the plot makes no sense when you look at it as anything else than a background clomped together to give Yoda reason to say a cool thing.

Fear leads to suffering - yeah, but that is only true when one has no reason to fear. When the reasons are very real and the person in question has no tools to deal with it (because, I don't know, they are a child or something), holding it against them is not cold, it's idiotic.

We are being shown that the fall of a man began when he was an abused child and there was absolutely no way to stop it. No sir. Fate. People don't grow above their trauma and don't heal, no matter how much support they get. Yikes. What a message. Only you, George, only you.

By trying to make the Jedi council look wise and cautious, Lucas made them seem uncaring and unwilling to extend themselves to help a child overcome the bad hand life has dealt him. At that time, in that place, in this one scene, they are proving themselves to be a closed pack divorced from the actual reality of the galaxy they supposedly protect and unwilling to extend themselves to directly help anyone who isn't a princess or a politician. A bit of a bad look.

The fact that I can see now, over a decade later, what is the supposed read of that scene and how Lucas meant it to be and how it foreshadows and etc, makes it even worse. That I need the justification of later tragedy to see that scene as something else than it was played as. That only in retrospect are Jedi in any way sympathetic after this.

Mostly, SW universe and all parts of it are too stupidly fun to make me feel anything but sentimental and entertained. I used to watch the original trilogy with my dad and that's something I will hold close forever.

But that one scene makes me irrationally angry, because of how bad writing damaged the very foundation of a good thing.

people often complain about the jedi council initially being cold to babey anakin, but i love that scene, and love them for being wary. it just makes sense for them to be that way. qui-gon was asking them to let him teach this super powerful kid how to do unimaginable violence, and we the audience already know by virtue of the inherent tragic irony of the prequels that particular kid ended up hunting and killing and eradicating them all. we are aware of that approaching catastrophe, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it, only witness it unfold.

we know anakin actually was dangerous, for all the reasons established in first scene. lucas is shouting to the audience: “these are the things to watch out for! this is why he’ll fall!” like we’re supposed to learn the rules to know how he’ll break them, be reminded of how emotions and the force work. the fact that they ended up making an exception for this terrifyingly dangerous, darling little boy at the end, we were supposed to feel the dread of understanding of that inevitable tragedy!! we know what’s coming and can’t stop this train, vader is being, will be, and was born, and that scene is warning us about why.

[fairytail-whathesays]

A very long post about Makarov

I’ve gotten an ask about Makarov for the five canons meme, and I realized that, aside from talking about his death, I haven’t really given much of my opinion of Makarov. And I guess that that’s because, until recently, I didn’t have an opinion on him. The more I think about him and his actions, the more I realize I really don’t like Makarov. Major salt warning applies.

Let’s take a look at Gajeel being taken into Fairy Tail by Makarov. I get that this is Gajeel’s big flashback showing how Good and Pure Fairy Tail was to a mean, cruel thug like he was back them. On the surface, this looks good--but from a different angle, it looks worse. Ilarual pointed out in a post analyzing Laxus that welcoming Gajeel, a person who had done serious harm and damage to the guild (and nearly killed several of them) was probably seen by Laxus as nothing less than base hypocrisy, considering his father Ivan was excommunicated for the same crime. And really....it is hypocrisy. You can say that it was for Gajeel’s own good, and that it gave him the chance to turn out as something more than a criminal and a brute, but why would that not apply to Ivan? Sure, Ivan is a major monster and Makarov could probably tell, but at the time, so was Gajeel. And letting Ivan loose opens him up to the same downward spiral that would’ve happened to Gajeel. But let’s say the matter was different--let’s say it was about protecting other people, that it was about leading Gajeel to a better life so other people didn’t come to suffer by him like Fairy Tail had. Again, there’s no excuse why this same reasoning shouldn’t apply to Ivan, who is by the time of the X791 Grand Magic Games, apparently in Zeref’s pocket. Laxus would be very right to call Makarov a hypocrite. Now, we could say that Makarov thought of this and that this is why he decided to keep tabs on Ivan, but we’ll get to that later. Right now, we’re not done with Gajeel.

Because again, dig deeper. When Makarov is trying to be kind to Gajeel and invite him to Fairy Tail, he’s brushed off and then violently rebuked by Gajeel--it’s pretty evident that Gajeel has no interest in joining Fairy Tail. When does Gajeel finally relent?

When Makarov does that. In this scene, Makarov is making it clear that yes, what Gajeel did to Levy, Jet, and Droy was unforgivable and subtly--and effectively--implied that any more damage to Fairy Tail will warrant an asskicking. Or death, I suppose--the last time Gajeel saw Makarov doing that, he used Fairy Law on Jose, which Gajeel later recognizes as an instant-death spell when used by Laxus.

You can read this scene another way. When Makarov tries to get Gajeel into Fairy Tail with the kindly old man routine, Gajeel shrugs him off and gets angry when pressed. When Makarov does the glowing eyes thing, however, and implicitly threatens Gajeel, is when Gajeel decides that hey, joining Fairy Tail might not be such a bad idea.

That’s not kindness. That’s force. It’s also basically imprisonment, if you take it as Makarov bringing Gajeel ‘round so he won’t hurt other people--since that’s what real life prisons are for, in addition to punishment. 

That’s Gajeel covered, but I have other, more solid reasons not to like Makarov. Apparently, Makarov is compelled to jam his nose and/or interfering hands everywhere, even in things not remotely related to him. Starting with an issue that is related to him is Ivan Dreyar, and Makarov sending Gajeel to spy on him.

Look, let’s put aside how easily Laxus kicked his ass. Considering that Ivan hasn’t got a hold of Lumen Histoire by X791, when it’s sitting right under the Fairy Tail guild in their basement, unguarded for seven years, I would take that as evidence that Ivan really isn’t that much of a threat. I pointed out earlier that Ivan seems to be in Zeref’s pocket, as Lumen Histoire is what he’s after (which is later revealed to be Fairy Heart/Mavis Vermillion, someone very important to Zeref) and Obra is a creature apparently loyal to him. However, does Makarov know that Ivan is messing around in Zeref-related matters? If so, that’s one reason that might be sufficient incentive to want to be aware of what Ivan’s doing--except that if he knew that, he should’ve been spending his time actively kicking Ivan’s ass himself. Considering what’s revealed about Doranbolt later, it looks like Makarov is just nosing where he doesn’t belong--which is not right of him. You expelled Ivan, Makarov. You no longer have a right to know what he’s doing. You relinquished that right when you exiled him from the guild--and decided that whatever danger he posed to his other guildmates was not worth keeping him around, whatever concerns you may have had. And considering that Ivan mainly seems to be motivated by spite for Makarov, Makarov doesn’t look much better spying on him through Gajeel. 

Second, the war with the Oracion Seis. When we first enter this arc, when we are first informed that Fairy Tail is allying with several other guilds in order to take down one of the heads of the Balam Alliance, the Oracion Seis, we’re not told there’s anything wrong with it. We, the audience, know that there is a ban on inter-guild war by now, and while we are never told that this alliance and attempt at disbandment is a legal affair, it’s fairly implied--after all, our heroes wouldn’t break the law just for a chance to fight the Seis, would they?

Yeah, actually, turns out they would. As it happens, the Oracion Seis are a dark guild--they’re up for grabs when it comes to getting forcibly disbanded. However, you have to take that up with the Magic Council, who hire official guilds to take down dark guilds they’ve selected. After the whole war with the Oracion Seis has ended, it turns out that oops, those channels were not used at all and Fairy Tail’s war with the Oracion Seis wasn’t sanctioned by the Magic Council. That’s a pretty big deal considering that the Oracion Seis is on roughly equal footing with Grimoire Heart, a guild dangerous enough that merely knowing where they were was incentive enough for the Magic Council to utilize Etherion. 

But wait! The Oracion Seis were seeking out a dangerous superweapon, Nirvana! If the Allied Forces didn’t stop them then and there, they’d have taken over!

Well, if they knew that (and they did, it was knowledge in the hands of Hibiki Lates, at least), why didn’t they alert the Magic Council? The Magic Council could very quickly have put a stop to that without endangering anyone else (as is often the risk with Etherion) had they been alerted to A) the Oracion Seis’ location, which the Alliance knew of, and B) what the Seis were after, which the Alliance also knew of. Instead, Makarov and the other leaders of the Alliance choose to completely flout them and try to take down the Oracion Seis themselves--and while not really putting their all into it, I might add. Makarov is a Wizard Saint and someone the Seis were shown to be wary of, and yet he didn’t come along on a mission which was apparently of great importance, which not only makes Makarov look like an ass with no respect for the rules, but an overconfident ass with no respect for the rules.

Next up is Kinana/Cubellios. We already know that I despise her very existence. And see, Makarov is the one that found her and un-cursed her back into human form (which makes no sense and infuriates me, but bear with me). .....Why? Snake or human, Cubellios was still a dangerous bioweapon and belonged to one of the members of the Oracion Seis--and there can’t be any way Makarov didn’t know that, considering the war that happened, not to mention the pictures Hibiki has in his Archive. So, he just took in this snake-girl and didn’t bother to tell anyone “hey, this was that snake that nearly killed Erza”. And then he just lets her go out in the middle of the second war with the Oracion Seis, with the possibility on the table that she’d return and render aid to the Seis. Lo and behold, she tries to do exactly that and nearly gets arrested. Not to mention that again, Makarov never bothered to tell the Magic Council about this girl/snake, who was kind of important and very dangerous. Why not? Because he wanted another cute barmaid, I guess. I see that Makarov has time to leave his guild hall and do plot-important things when it gets someone a love interest.

Last is the deal with Doranbolt/Mest Gryder. Now, this is the big one. This is one that can’t be interpreted differently or chalked up to kindness or just minor bending of the law in the name of justice prevailing. Makarov had figured out that the Magic Council was hiding info on Alvarez, the western continent, and then had Doranbolt infiltrate the Magic Council and feed him info on that continent. This is blatantly illegal and underhanded. He wouldn’t even explain to Doranbolt why this was being done (nor to the viewer how he’s supposed to feed that information back without his memories). This is where it starts to look like Makarov seriously thinks he’s above the law, and that he thinks he has a right to information the Council has decided that the public shouldn’t have. Mind, this was in X783--Yajima, a good friend of Makarov’s, was still on the Council at this time. This shenanigan with Doranbolt indicates that Makarov didn’t trust Yajima to let him break the law like that even if the reasons were just--or maybe he simply knew Yajima wouldn’t allow it and would tell Makarov to butt his nose out. Since Makarov took his reasons for doing this to the grave, we’ll never know what the cause for this infiltration was, but given that Zeref being Alvarez’ emperor came as a shock, I’m going to guess that Makarov didn’t find out anything that helpful. 

..................

As usual, almost all of this comes from Mashima being a very poor writer. Forgive the rather irrelevant dip into Harry Potter, but you know, I’m almost certain that what Mashima wanted out of Makarov was an Albus Dumbledore figure--an effort that gets repeated by many authors, really--and like those authors, he fails. While Makarov may view the good health of those under his authority as of the utmost importance, and may be lax about the law when safety and justice require it, he’s unlike that Dumbledore figure so many people want to achieve because he seems to have active disdain for the law laid down by those above him and is much more prone to using force and advocating fighting than is excusable. Albus Dumbledore didn’t actually flout the law or send spies into the Ministry of Magic until 1995, when it became apparent that the Ministry of Magic was blatantly corrupt and was seeking out to cause harm. Makarov doesn’t look like that--he just looks like an arrogant, nosy dickhead.

..........Am I the only one that’s thought of this? Am I reaching? I feel like no one else has given much thought to just how much Makarov does and how he does it.